#yes its worse than the original but it was still fun

[14werewolvesinatrenchcoat]

i dont get why people try to tell you something is bad like, if its fun for you just enjoy it??? If you dont like it the just ignore it?? maybe go try it for yourself if possible like its so simple

[hiveswap]

Summary of The Cat of The Year poll atrocities of 2023/2024

I'm sure that most people on this side of tumblr have seen the Jellie vs. Nefarious Anglerfish poll going around with like 60k votes at this point, and I'd really like clear up some of what happened since I was around for the whole thing.

Url blocked out for op's privacy. They have already left but don't look for it if you haven't seen it/don't harrass them if you already have.

1. The previous round (preparation)

I discovered the poll in its previous round, needless to say she beat Jort's ass severely. This was around the 3rd of january, meaning that this round finished before jellie's passing with only about 7k votes. Op did add their own piece of propaganda from their main:

...which was FINE. (except for stuff we'll see later) Of course running a poll while biased isn't ideal but I for one didn't even know they were the op until much later. I also added my own piece in a separate thread, and they didn't interact with it at all. There was no drama.

2. The Finale

Jellie unfortunately passed away right before the starting of this poll, which was the catalyst for what happened next. Op did exactly as last time and added a slightly more mean spirited encouragement to vote for the other contestant. This is the point where I believe that i fucked up personally.

I added this thinkpiece accusing op of associating all mcyters with Dream (who we all hate for the record) despite them not alluding to him at all. This is because tumblr has a history of disimissing all mcyters as... everything that dream was been accused of. Op did allude to not caring for mcyt. but they didn't say what i accused them of. This is important to point out because this reblog of mine is still being spread. Jellie was in the lead at the time, but not by the time i woke up next morning.

I won't be including anyone else's additions because I don't want to put blame on any specific person. Just felt like clearing up mine.

3. The Fuckening

Some time later op made this post to their personal blog:

which is insanely shitty because, as other people have pointed out, the "lame ass youtube cat" didn't die to inconvinience op or ruin their fun, and people would have probably voted for her anyway because jelly is universally beloved in the mcyt community. This isn't anti democratic. This post was added to the poll with a caption saying op should not be running this poll, and it took off. Op later went on to say that this was a joke:

This apology was not taken well by people, (including me) because "you were not meant to see it" isn't an apology and they still very much made fun of someone's pet dying. Safe to say this did not make the drama stop and only added fuel to the flame. I believe this was the point where the conversation of mcyt fans being unjustly sent hate to was reignited.

We should discuss that! it's a real thing that happens often and is equal to childish bullying. However, in this case, OP was the only one getting sent hate to my knowledge. The notes were mostly saturated by mcyt fans, and even now i can only find one or two hateful stance towards us under the whole 20k notes post.

4. Conclusions

Op posted a second apology to the catoftheyear blog to try and calm people down (i believe this is comprehensive and a lot better than the previous one) The blog was deactivated shortly after, so i only have my phone screenshots of it that i also added to the poll itself at some point:

(Edit) Here's proof that op did not write the justification they got criticised for, from the notes of the original poll:

This apology didn't get seen, or get accepted by enough people, so op made this statement on their personal:

Needless to say I am deeply dissapointed (and guilty) that it's come to this. Yes, op said tasteless things that made us all angry, but telling a human being to commit suicide is worse than being insensitive about a stranger's pet dying. Even after I posted about the blog being decatived i had someone come into my notes to wish that "they never find happiness" i mean wtf. This isn't like shipping where we can do whatever without the content creator's input. this is fucking harrowing and i can't imagine how i'd feel if this was done in my/my pet's name especially after losing them as recently as a week ago.

I hope no one from hermitcraft who is on here (let alone scar holy shit) learns about this like they did with previous lighthearted tournaments. If you truly respect the creators you claim to be a fan of as people, you do not tell people to kill themselves over them. And finally, let Jellie fucking rest, guys. she had a long, good life. I hope op can come back and also avoids behaving like this if they ever wish to do so. I'm angrier at mcytblr, though.

[devildomwriter]

A Devildom Easter Egg Extravaganza

Diavolo decides to hold an Easter egg hunt. Shenanigans ensue.

Slight x reader for Lucifer, Diavolo, Mephistopheles, Barbatos

[Student Council Room]

Lucifer: “You really mean to hold…an Easter egg hunt?”

Diavolo: “Why, yes! I think it will be great fun!”

Mephistopheles: “My Lord, everything you do is brilliant!”

Diavolo: “Thank you!”

Mephistopheles: “However…this holiday is in celebration of everything we are against…as is Christmas for that matter but that’s become popular here recently…”

Diavolo: *nodding* “Yes. I understand that these holidays traditionally represent and celebrate our opposites. So celebrating them not only promotes goodwill with the angels and religious exchange students but also draws attention away from its original purpose.”

Lucifer: “I see, so that’s your angle.”

Mephistopheles: “Am I missing something?”

Lucifer: “We are celebrating and promoting the secular traditions instead. Celebrating bunnies, eggs, and candy rather than my father and father-brother.”

Diavolo: “Ahahaha.”

Mephistopheles: “Father-brother?”

Lucifer: “We’re done discussing this.”

Diavolo: “Anyway. I think it would be great fun to hide eggs all around RAD for the exchange students and any willing RAD students to join in. I understand it may not be especially popular with demons but I do want to incorporate holidays important to others too. It is vital to accept and learn about each other’s cultures and traditions to better respect and understand each other.”

Barbatos: “Well said, my lord.”

Mephistopheles: “In that case, I’d be more than happy to promote this in the newspaper! Leave it to me.”

Diavolo: “Thank you, Mephistopheles. I knew I could count on you!”

[Purgatory Hall]

Luke: “A what?”

Solomon: “An Easter egg hunt.”

Raphael: “We’ll be busy.”

MC: “Oh, really…”

Simeon: ��Yes, we must celebrate our father-brother, after all.”

MC: “That’s such a weird way to say Jesus.”

Raphael: “Those are the only words in your language to accurately describe him.”

MC: “Right. Will you really be in the celestial realm all day though?”

Simeon: “Umm well…”

Raphael: *glaring* “We should be.”

Luke: “…”

Solomon: “You’re going to make Luke sad.”

Luke: “Wh! Hey!”

Raphael: “Luke has no reason to be sad.”

MC: “C’mon Raph, you can’t make a kid miss an Easter egg hunt. That’s cruel and unusual punishment.”

Raphael: “That’s an inaccurate description of cruel and unusual punishment.”

MC: “But it’s true though.”

Raphael: *sigh* “I suppose we can come back after service and the banquet.”

Simeon: “Wonderful!”

Luke: “Yay! Sir Raphael, you’re the best!”

MC: “Okay, the angels are in. Let’s go tell Thirteen.”

Solomon: “I believe Diavolo already has.”

MC: “Really?”

Solomon: “Yes. He said something about some eggs containing special surprises.”

Raphael: “I have a bad feeling about this…”

[Lucifer’s Private Study]

Lucifer: “I have a headache already.”

Solomon: “Hahahaha!”

MC: “So he’s really having her rig the eggs?”

Lucifer: “Many of them yes. I fear she’s taking it overboard, hoping Solomon will find them all.”

Solomon: “How thoughtful.”

Lucifer: “How can you be wise and yet so oblivious, honestly?”

Solomon: “It just shows she’s thinking of me. She really is a good friend.”

MC: “You may need better friends.”

Lucifer: “Considering most of them want to kill you, I’d have to agree.”

Solomon: “Most? I wouldn’t say that most of them do.”

MC: “Even some of them is an issue…”

Solomon: “Well, regardless I think this hunt will be fun. You’ll be participating yes?”

MC: “I already asked if I could hide them instead.”

Solomon: “You’d like to hide them? Not find them?”

MC: “I used to hide them for the neighborhood kids. They’d still turn up years later.”

Solomon: “Don’t you suppose that’s too good at hiding them?”

MC: “You can never be too good at something unless it’s illegal.”

Solomon: “I…suppose that’s true.”

Lucifer: “That is a flawed argument and the fact you think that makes my headache worse, please leave Solomon.”

Solomon: “Only me?”

Lucifer: “That’s what I said.”

Solomon: “Wow, so cruel, Lucifer. I suppose I’ll see you this weekend.”

Lucifer: “Yes, goodbye now.”

MC: “Soooo…what’d you want to talk about?”

Lucifer: “Nothing, I just wanted him to leave and your company soothes me.”

MC: “I thought I was giving you a headache?”

Lucifer: “You do, but it’s nothing compared to Mammon.”

MC: “That’s fair.”

MC: “So are you going to compete?”

Lucifer: “Finding the eggs?”

MC: “Yeah.”

Lucifer: *smirks* “Will I get a reward if I do?”

MC: “Hmm…maybe?”

Lucifer: “I see…then I suppose I will.”

MC: “Yes! This going to be so much fun!” *hugs*

Lucifer: *blushes* “Only you could make me so excited about this holiday.”

[The Day Before Easter | RAD]

Diavolo: “Oh, MC! I can’t tell you how excited I am to be hiding these with you!”

MC: “About that…don’t you want to participate?”

Diavolo: “I think preparing it is just as exciting! Besides, there will be some places by Barbatos too and I won’t know where those are.”

MC: “So, you’ll be looking for the ones he hid?”

Diavolo: “Yes, as I oversee everything.”

MC: “Good, I love to see you have fun!”

Diavolo: “I feel the same way. Hopefully, you’ll do a bit of searching too?”

MC: “Sure, I’ll walk with you and we’ll see who finds them first.”

Diavolo: “A competition? How fun! I can hardly wait.”

Barbatos: “Young master, here are the baskets.”

MC: “That’s…a lot of eggs.”

Diavolo: “Yes, this may take us all night, I’m so excited.”

Barbatos: “MC, be careful not to trigger the traps.”

MC: “How would I know?”

Barbatos: “They’re in separate baskets, just handle them more delicately and take care they don’t open up, even the slightest bit.”

MC: “Right…”

Diavolo: “Oh my, look how this own sparkles, MC, isn’t it just—“

MC: “Where’d he go!?”

Barbatos: “And I just warned him too…”

MC: “Okay, but where did he go?”

In the distance, you hear roaring laughter and look to see a light on in RAD.

MC: “I found him.”

Barbatos: *sigh* “I suppose I should supervise this shouldn’t I?”

MC: “It’ll be okay, I’ll protect him.”

Barbatos: “Ever so reliable, MC. It’s what I love most about you.”

MC: *blushing* “G-Glad you feel that way.”

A small explosion sounds from inside.

MC: “He’s…not being careful. At all.”

Barbatos: “Good luck.”

MC: “What’ve I done?”

[A Few Hours Later]

Diavolo sits next to you on the RAD lawn covered in pink and yellow powder, hair spiked, and hands puffy and pink.

MC: “Sooo….”

Diavolo: “That was so much fun!”

MC: “Thirteen wasn’t happy about resetting them all though.”

Diavolo: “Yes, I did apologize.”

MC: “I think she laughed hard enough to forgive you.”

Diavolo: “Yes it was quite excessive.”

MC: “That’s rich coming from you.”

Diavolo: “Hm? What do you mean?”

MC: “If you laughed and a bomb went off at the same time, I’d hear you.”

Diavolo: “Pfft! Ahahahahaha.”

MC: “My point exactly. Anyway…Barbatos will skin me alive if you come back looking like this.”

You take his hands and whisper an incantation, lips close to his inflamed hands. The pink vanished and his hands returned to normal. Diavolo let out a sigh of relief.

Diavolo: “Thank goodness. That was quite itchy.”

MC: “Now all you need is a serious bath.”

Diavolo: “Oh, will you be giving it to me?”

MC: “Wh—“

Diavolo: “Ahahahaha! I’m only kidding.”

MC: “That’s a shame.”

Diavolo: “What?”

MC: “What?”

Diavolo: *sigh* “Why don’t we go get some rest and meet early again tomorrow before the others arrive.”

MC: “Sounds like a plan.”

Diavolo smiles and ruffles your hair. You attempt to do the same but your hand gets stuck to his gelled hair, the result of an egg surprise. You stare at him, hand stuck in his hair and he stares back at you when a familiar person clears their throat.

Thirteen: “Uh…the eggs have been reset. Am I interrupting something?”

Diavolo: “We seem to be stuck.”

Thirteen: “Hahahah! Serves you right, anyway I’m headed out.”

MC: “You’re gonna leave us here?”

Thirteen: “Yes!”

Diavolo: “I see…I suppose we should call Barbatos?”

MC: “Yeah…”

[Early the next morning | House of Lamentation]

Asmodeus: “MC! You’re finally back! Where’ve you been all night? Don’t tell me you- ooooh!”

Lucifer lightly smacks Asmodeus over the back of the head.

Asmodeus: “Ow! Lucifer you big meanie.”

Lucifer: “Don’t imply such things.”

Asmodeus: “But they were gone aaaalll night. Isn’t that right? And who were they with? The hunky—“

Lucifer: “Be quiet.”

Mammon: “What’s goin’ on down here!?”

Mammon: “Hey! MC! You’re finally back!”

Satan: “I was getting worried.”

Belphegor: “Mmhm.”

MC: “One of Thirteen’s traps went off…”

Lucifer: “I see. That explains things then.”

Asmodeus: “Boo. I was hoping for some gossip.”

Belphegor: “That’s the same thing as saying you hope Diavolo and MC hooked up.”

Mammon: “Hold on, what happened!?”

Satan: “Nothing happened, Mammon. Pay attention.”

MC: “My hand got stuck to Diavolo, that’s all.”

Beelzebub: “Stuck?”

Mammon: “Huh? Stuck where!”

MC: “His head.”

Asmodeus: “Which o—“

All: “Shut up, Asmo!”

You got a few hours of rest before your alarm went off. You already had good morning texts from the angels reminding you of the importance of the day and you smiled and sighed. You changed into your Easter outfit and put on the rabbit ear headband Diavolo insisted all participants wear.

[Easter Morning | RAD Courtyard]

Diavolo: “MC! I’m so glad you’re here!”

MC: “As promised.”

Barbatos: “Good. Participants should be showing up in a few hours and—“

Mephistopheles: “Good morning everyone.”

Diavolo: “Ah, good morning, Mephistopheles.”

Mephistopheles: “Hm? You still have baskets?”

MC: “We couldn’t finish hiding them all…there was a mishap.”

Mephistopheles: “Oh? Of what nature.”

Barbatos: “The details aren’t necessary. Why don’t you take a few pictures of the setup before we begin? See if you can spot an egg and photograph it.”

Mephistopheles: “Right. And MC.”

MC: “Hm?”

Mephistopheles: “Happy Easter?”

MC: “Aww! Thank you Mephisto, that means a lot coming from you.”

Mephistopheles: “What does that mean?”

Diavolo: “I’m so glad to see you embracing change, Mephistopheles. Very well done!”

Mephistopheles: “Naturally! One can’t help but be swayed by your genius and example, my lord.”

MC: *muttering* “Here we go.”

Barbatos: *chuckles*

After a few hours You, Diavolo, and Barbatos had finished hiding the rest of the eggs and just sat down by the sign-in booth when you heard a loud scream coming from RAD.

Barbatos: *sigh* “I told him to photograph the egg not open it.”

Diavolo: “Ahahaha!”

Barbatos left swiftly to investigate and as soon as he vanished around the corner, a loud group approached the booth.

Lucifer: “We’ve arrived. I apologize if we’re late.”

Satan: “Yes, someone wouldn’t wake up.”

Belphegor: *zzz*

Asmodeus: “I can’t believe the bunny ears are staying on even though he’s slumped over Beel’s shoulder. I have to get a picture.”

Beelzebub: “Asmo…”

Asmodeus: “What? It might generate more attention for the event, right?”

Diavolo: “Wonderful idea, Asmodeus.”

Asmodeus: “Thank you!”

Lucifer: *sigh*

Mammon: “So…I heard there’d be a prize.”

Leviathan: “Two minutes, I called it.”

Asmodeus: “Tch, I really thought it’d be sooner.”

Mammon: “Huh? Are you betting on me? Without me?”

Satan: “That wouldn’t make any sense idiot.”

Lucifer: “All of you shut up and sign in.”

Leviathan: “Eep! Okay.”

The brothers signed their names. Beelzebub signed Belphegor in for him and you sat around and talked.

Mephistopheles returned with Barbatos looking very flustered and uncomfortable.

Lucifer: “What in the Devildom is that mess?”

Mephistopheles: “Thirteen.”

Lucifer: “Oh. So you set off a trap.”

Leviathan: “Does no one find it alarmingly easy to set them off? Like, didn’t even Lord Diavolo do that?”

You heard an amused chuckle from behind you.

Thirteen: “Duh. That’s what makes it fun.”

Barbatos: “Thirteen. What wonderful timing you have. Mind telling me what Mephistopheles is currently covered in?”

Thirteen: “That’s just a personal concoction of highly flammable spider web spray.”

Mephistopheles: “Of what!?”

Mammon: “Bahahaha!”

Mephistopheles: “Get it off of me this instant!”

MC: “Calm down Mephi, I got you.”

Mephistopheles: “Mephi?”

You brought forth a torrent of water to flush the web off Mephistopheles and then a gust of wind to blow him and his clothes dry.

He was left momentarily stunned before he sighed, patted himself down, and smoothed out his hair.

Barbatos turned on the bright lights around RAD to illuminate the lawn as the other students showed up. The presence of more than a few students elated Diavolo and the happy gleam in his eyes made all the trouble worth it.

Near the end of the thirteenth hour, a beam appeared from the sky. At first, everyone stumbled back in fear but as it disappeared, Simeon, Raphael, and Luke appeared in its place.

Barbatos: “I could’ve opened the portal.”

Raphael: “This was faster.”

Mammon: “Gave me a freakin’ heart attack!”

Raphael: “Why?”

Luke: “MC! I’m here!”

MC: “Hello, Luke! Your Easter uniform is so cute!”

Luke: “Huh? I’m supposed to look gentlemanly not cute!”

Simeon: “You can be both.”

Luke: “No I can’t!”

Solomon: “Good morning everyone. I’m not late am I?”

Simeon: “No. We just arrived.”

Raphael was looking around from the sign-in booth, already scanning the area for eggs as though it were a mission. It gave you chills to see his serious expression but at the same time made you laugh because this was only an Easter egg hunt.

You noticed that Lucifer was doing the same thing but he was being slightly less obvious about it, giving himself reasons to be turned in a certain direction rather than just openly staring.

Luke: “MC! Will you be on my team?”

Mammon: “What? We’re forming teams!?”

Solomon: “Are we?”

Barbatos: *shaking his head* “I suppose if you wanted to you could however anything you find would be evenly split between you and not counted as a whole.”

Satan: “Every demon for themself.”

Lucifer: “I agree.”

Satan: “I’m no longer certain.”

Lucifer: *sigh*

Diavolo: “Hahahaha!”

Belphegor: “Mm…quiet.”

Beelzebub: “Belphie, are you awake?”

Belphegor: “What…what’s on my head?”

Asmodeus: “Those are your bunny ears! And you look adorable!”

Belphegor: “Ugh. Kill me now.”

Asmodeus: “Your sleepy bunny pic has already generated so many likes!”

Belphegor: “My what?”

MC: “So how was the sermon? Is that what it was?”

Luke: *sobbing*

MC: “What’d I do?”

Simeon: “Each year, we visit the past to review the events before and during Easter and the future it will bring.”

MC: “That sounds emotionally traumatic.”

Raphael: “It is. And now we’re here. Looking for eggs…”

Mammon: “Just as father intended!”

Raphael pulls out his spear and Mammon takes off.

MC: “He deserves that right?”

Asmodeus: “Mhm.”

Lucifer: “Honestly…”

Thirteen: “He’s got some guts to piss an angel off on Easter.”

Mephistopheles: “Right. Especially when it’s about their father slash brother or something…”

MC: “Speaking of father and brother…”

You looked between Lucifer and Satan as they watched you. They looked at each other, back at you and Satan bared his fangs as his brothers and Diavolo managed to contain their laughter.

Satan: “Not another word!”

Beelzebub: “They didn’t say anything.”

Solomon: “Hahaha! I get it. Because Lucifer and Satan have the same dynamic.”

As Raphael runs past you he protests this idea and continues after Mammon who’s tripping over bushes in his escape attempt.

Diavolo: “Should we stop them?”

Simeon: “He earned it.” *scary smile*

Luke: “Simeon. You have that scary look in your eyes again.”

Simeon: “Oh, do I? My apologies.”

MC: “Anyway…it’s a good idea you came here after so Luke can recover from his trauma a little more easily.”

Luke: “It never goes away.”

Mephistopheles: “I’m not sure I like the haunted look in your eye.”

Solomon: “It’s weird when Luke is serious.”

Luke: “Hey what does that mean!? I’m always serious.”

Mephistopheles: “Good he’s back.”

Simeon: “Ah, yes. It does weigh heavily on us angels. Thank you for this event, Diavolo.”

Diavolo: “Yes, of course! Speaking of, it’s just about time to begin. Can someone go fetch Mammon and Raphael?”

Lucifer: “I’ll do it.”

Beelzebub: “I’ll go with him.”

Belphegor: “Set me down somewhere first.”

Beelzebub: “Okay.”

Belphegor is placed gently on top of a bush as Beelzebub runs after Lucifer. He begins sinking into the bush and you and the others watch as the branches begin to slowly snap and he disappears into the leaves.

As soon as Raphael and Mammon are reeled in and Mammon is forced to grovel for an apology, Diavolo is given the microphone and you, Lucifer, Barbatos, and Mephistopheles work together to hand everyone a woven basket to place their found eggs in.

Diavolo: “Everyone will have an hour to find as many eggs as possible, they are everyone beyond this booth on the RAD ground and I do mean everywhere so give it your best shot!”

Diavolo: “Many of the eggs contain wonderful surprises! Coupons for your favorite cafes, gift cards for your favorite stores, Grimm, fun tokens, cup-cuties, and more! But beware because there are also eggs that contain a wide variety of tricks of all kinds! You should expect flesh-eating piranha plants, bees, angry spiders, blasts of spider webs, teleportation, and potential small explosions!”

Luke and Mammon turned white but the demon students seemed extra excited by this news. Danger was an everyday occurrence for them and simply counted as fun or mildly inconvenient at best. As a human, you had a protection spell placed upon you in case of minor explosions. Luke and Simeon also had protective spells. Raphael opted to forgo this as he “wasn’t weak.”

With a wide smile, Diavolo raised his hand and everyone gathered into groups or faced the directions they planned to scour.

Diavolo: “On your marks!”

Diavolo: “Get ready!”

Diavolo: “Set!”

Diavolo: “GO!”

The ground shook as the hundreds of demons, three angels, reaper, and human sprinted past the booth.

You laughed and Diavolo helped you regain balance and handed you your basket.

Diavolo: “Shall we go observe?”

An explosion went off.

MC: “Yes!”

Barbatos trailed far behind you and Diavolo so you could talk more privately. You passed by students stuck to walls with spider webs. Students dressed more oddly than when they’d arrived. You passed by Mammon hanging from the ceiling and weren’t sure whether it had been Raphael, Lucifer, or a genuine trap. Either way, Diavolo burst into laughter alerting the others to your location immediately.

Barbatos cut Mammon down and you continued to walk with your empty basket as you enjoyed the sounds of chaos all around you.

Diavolo eyed your basket and nudged you gently.

Diavolo: “Is there someone you were hoping to go find eggs with?”

(To be continued | the remaining story with be different based on the character you choose to go with. They are all currently being written and will all be released in the following week unless unforeseen circumstances delay the writing)

[irishmammonagenda]

Boop!- Obey Me x Reader

Summary: You go on a mission to boop, as per usual chaos ensues. Word Count: 3.5k Warnings: Female Reader (implied), i dont really think there's anything else but if you can see something lmk and i'll add a warning

very obviously inspired by tumblr's boop event

dividers by @saradika-graphics

"Hello Michael!" You greet, signature foxy grin on your face. Michael looks up from where he's playing Connect Four with a man in robes and waves at you.

"Hiya MC!" He puts the palms of his hands on the soft cloud ground and leans back on them, he's bare chested in the heat, though he's adorned himself with waist beads and arm bands, firm muscles on display. His long curly blond hair is in intricate braids, small ornaments threaded through it. He grins up at you, bright red eyes shining under the light of the Celestial sun. "What's brought ya up to the Celestial Realm today?"

"I am evil. I am very evil Michael." You say seriously.

The other man laughs, though not unkindly. His tanned skin shimmers ethereally under the light, dark brown eyes stare up at you, rich like soil after the morning due. Dark waves and soft curls frame his face, some soft stubble one his jawline, barely noticeable. "I'm sure you're not evil." He says kindly.

You stare at him, before smiling as well, touched. "Aww thanks! And you are?"

The man smiles, reaching his hand up, Michael takes that time to sneakily move one of the coins the man had put down a slot over. "I'm Jesus, it's nice to meet you MC."

You cough. "You're Jesus?"

"Yes." He nods, "A lot of people are shocked when they first meet me...something about expecting me to look like Da Vinci's gay lover."

You nod, dumbfounded.

Michael, sensing your inner turmoil, and also needing to keep Jesus' attention elsewhere so he could continue cheating- winning creatively in Connect 4, clears his throat, "So what's brought you to the Celestial Realm and made you claim that you're evil?"

This makes you grin, "Well, my dearest Michael....have you heard of boops?"

Michael straightens up a little bit, Jesus watches him intently, before fixing the board to its original state whilst the Archangel is distracted.

"No I have not...Why, what are they?" Michael asks, signature mischievous grin on his face. "They sound fun."

"Well I'm glad you asked Michael!" You grin, before leaning in and whispering into his ear. The added proximity made you realise he smelt of pine cone and fresh rain.

Michael giggles evilly, turning over to Jesus, before reaching a dark, jewel adorned hand and booping his nose. "Boop!"

Jesus just smiles, Crucifixion was worse. "It's your go, Michael."

"Oh of course! MC wait for this game to be over! I have...uh..business to attend to in the Devildom!"

You and Jesus share a look.

Michael looks over at you two, "You coming Jesus?"

The man smiles gently, "No thanks, I'm still traumatised from that one time when Satan tormented me in the desert."

"Oh okay...." Michael deflates the tiniest smidge before looking back at the board, spluttering. "Hey you moved the pieces!"

Jesus snorts, "Yeah, I moved the pieces back from where you tried to cheat."

"Lying's a sin." Michael huffs.

Jesus laughs, "Was that an admition of guilt?"

Michael falls onto his back dramatically, dark skin shining in the Celestial Realm's blessed light. "Ugh! Woe is me! This is worse than the time that one Irish kid got me confused with Michael Collins!"

Jesus pats his shoulder in pity. "Easter's a hard time for all of us."

Michael blinks at the scars on Jesus' palms from the nails and bites back a very bad Cross joke. "You could say that again."

After the game of Connect 4 ended, (Michael lost) you and the Archangel said your goodbyes to Jesus and began your journey down to the Devildom. Michael walks beside you, a good bit taller than you. Michael having swapped out his less than covering attire for a flowy white flare sleeved top that you'd imagine a pirate or a Victorian would wear, the lace buttons are undone for the most part, as per usual. You'd come to learn that the Archangel hated top buttons with a burning passion.

"I call Lucikins." Michael says with about as much seriousness as a 10 year old calling shotgun on the front seat of the car. So very serious.

"Fine. I call Mammon." You reply, looking up at him, as if daring him to try and boop your first man before you could. He pouts, but relents.

"I call Satan then." Michael blinks back at you with crimson eyes.

"No why?" You sulk.

Michael shrugs. "He's my nephew. I get to boop his nose it's the law."

"No it's not."

"Yeah it is!"

"Prove it then." You huff.

Michael turns around and you hear fidgeting before he hands you a paper napkin with writing on it. You notice the fountain pen he sneakily snuck back into his trouser pocket and glare at him, before reading the napkin.

The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shall let Michael boop his nephew's nose.

You hum, "Something's telling me this is fake."

Michael gasps incredulously, as if offended by the very notion, he places a hand over his breast, where his heart is. "How dareth thou! Truly, 'tis a crime against nature to speak such filth about the Holy Word. A crime against God I daresay!"

"Okayy...drama king."

Michael gasps again. "Alas! Thou speaketh such filth! Such blasphemy to thee! Thy words...such horrors! Cursed are thou amongst humankind!"

You deadpan. "I'm taking away your Shakespeare rights."

"Try it I dare you." Michael challenges, red eyes gleaming with something predatory. "You can boop Simeon."

You grin. "Yay!"

"I call Luke."

Your grin drops. "What the frickety flip that's my son."

Michael's brows furrow. "He's my son too what the flip."

You gasp, bringing your hands to your mouth. "Did we?..."

Michael's eyes widen, he pulls his top up and counts his ribs, losing count several times because you keep adding random numbers in. He looks up at you.

"Did we have a child out of Wedlock?!"

You and Michael look at each other in object horror. Both conveniently ignoring the fact that Luke technically came into existence millennias before you.

"I think we did...." You place your hand over your brow like a Victorian woman seeing the ankles of her secret lesbian lover for the first time.

Michael follows suit.

"Michael....I fear we might be sinners...."

"Well you know what they say in the human world MC...." Michael sniffles, looking away from you dramatically. "Sinner sinner chicken dinner...."

You pause, breaking character. "Is it not Winner winner chicken dinner?"

Michael shrugs. "Not like I care."

You parrot his movement, shrugging your shoulders back as well, before the horror creeps back onto your expression. "But...Simeon and Barbatos also see Luke as their son...."

Michael looks at you wide eyed, grabbing you by the shoulders, "MC! We have to count their ribs!"

You put your head in your hands, "Two angels, a demon and a human with angel blood that's somehow an angel....our son is a hybrid!"

Michael gasps. "Hybrid princess?"

You do a double take. "Why do you know what gacha is." You breath out, looking at Michael in genuine fear.

"I wasn't a gacha kid don't worry! Levi was though! He'd show me his little Gacha stories that he made...." Michael looks nostalgic. "Such an adorable little weirdo....he gets it from Lucifer y'know."

"If I described Lucifer as an adorable little weirdo I think he'd skin me alive."

"That sounds like a you problem." Michael grins.

You and Michael continue your journey down to the Devildom, only this time he's giving you a piggy back ride because you annoyed him until he agreed. Strong hands hold your thighs to keep you from falling, as your arms are wrapped around his neck.

You had been 'calling' people to boop.

"I call Diavolo."

"Deal." Michael nods, trying and failing to twist his head around to face you because you're on his back and he's not an owl. "I don't want to accidentally start another Celestial War by booping the Prince and acting King of the Devildom's nose."

"That's surprisingly a good reason."

"Fuck you mean surprisingly?" Michael scoffs, though there's no real bite to it. "I'm always having good reasons."

"Yeah and I'm the spawn of Satan." You say sarcastically, human world side winning over for a second, until you remember that Satan is in fact a real person and that you are in fact now in the Devildom.

Michael laughs, "You know who Satan's the spawn of? Lucifer."

"Don't let him hear you say that."

"What's he gonna do? Bully me while I'm in a desert? Jokes on him, I hate sand and don't go anywhere near it."

"I don't feel safe anymore, we're gonna get jumped."

Michael laughs.

"I call Levi, I need to return an anime to him anyway." Michael breaks the silence.

"You borrow animes from Levi?"

"Yeah sometimes, me and Saint Peter watch animes at the gates of Heaven when it's a slow day and not a lot of souls are being guided into it."

"Nah imagine dying and waking up in heaven to see the people at the gates watching anime."

Michael sticks out his tongue, though stops when he remembers you're on his back and can't see it.

"I call Barbatos."

Michael sighs in relief, carrying you through the streets of the Devildom. "Thank God, you can have him. Good luck with that."

"Go fuck yourself Michael. I call Thirteen."

Michael gasps excitedly. "Tell her I say hi!"

"Tell her yourself."

Michael huffs. "You're so mean to me MC."

You bite his neck, really embodying your inner feral street cat. He yelps. "Don't try to steal my wife, next time I'll bite your jugular pretty boy."

Michael laughs, "I am quite pretty..." He flips his hair, the intricate golden braids and curls hit you in the face, seeing as you're still on his back. You let out a sound similar to a feral street cat coughing up a hairball, he laughs again. "Also I'm pretty sure Thirteen is a lesbian."

You perk up. "Oh yay! You should be the priest at our wedding Michael. You don't have a choice."

"Fine." The archangel huffs, his plump lips pouty. "But only if Luke's the flower boy."

"I was gonna make him the ring boy giver person." You reply, playing with one of the ornaments braided into Michael's hair.

"Even better!"

Moments of comfortable silence last before you decide to break it because you're evil and have no moral code whatsoever.

"Michael you can have Solomon."

Said Archangel halts. Dropping you off of his back before turning to look at you, now strewn out on the ground. He puts his hand over his brow like a Victorian man who just saw the ankles of his gay lover. (Probably Solomon: You'd decided.)

"No! How couldeth thou?" He sighs dramatically before it just turns exhasperated. "Those rumours just died down...."

You jump up off of the ground, wiping the soil from your clothes, "They have?! Dammit!"

Michael deadpans at you, pulling at a golden coil of hair and letting it be stretched straight before letting go and watching it bounce back up into a curl again. "I hate you."

"That's harsh."

After having separated from Michael, you sneak into your First Man's room. He sits lazily, lounging on his bed and scrolling mindlessly through his DDD. So enraptured he doesn't even notice your presence just yet until you press your finger to his nose.

"Boop!"

"ARGHH-" he screeches, jumping atleast five feet in the air before realising it was you and scoffing. "Oh...It's you...o-of course ye'd wanna boop the Great Mammon's nose! That'll cost ya!" He huffs, trying to avoid the initial embarassment of you seeing him so uncool!

"Boop!" You boop him again, he grins stupidly like an idiot inlove, before snapping out of it and putting his 'too cool for this' persona back on.

"T-that'll cost ye! MC!" He stutters, trying to cover his blush.

"Oh will it now?" You raise a brow before bringing your lips to his nose and pecking it there, pulling away again in less than a second. "Boop."

He pulls you in for a hug before you can pull away completely. You grin, having reduced the Avatar of Greed to a blushy pile of mush in your arms.

Take that Alpha Male podcasters who think women want dominant mean men who suck and hate them. Everyone knows all women want a Mammon.

You and Michael meet back up again. Michael having a scratch on his leg.

"Satan did not like the fact that I booped him at first...until I gave him an emergency kitten that I put in a cage nearby like 5 minutes before." Michael says, noticing that you noticed the scratch. "He almost bit me! He's definitely Lucikin's son!"

You point and laugh at him. He pouts, before interlocking your arms. "Purgatory hall?"

"Purgatory hall." You nod.

Michael knocks on the door. Luke answers it before gasping like a child on christmas. "Michael! Hi!" He hugs the Archangel who laughs and picks him up.

The blond boy notices you at that point, he smiles brightly. "Oh MC! Hi!"

"Hiya Luke!" You smile at him, booping his nose. "Boop!"

"Michael follows suit. "Boop!"

Luke blinks before grumbling. "I'm not a child..." He then turns his head back towards Michael who's still holding him. "Boop!"

Michael laughs. "Do MC now!" With that he quickly moves closer to you, Luke still in his arms, and the young angel boops your nose too. You all grin, laughing. Luke just ecstatic that Michael was able to visit. And he brought you too!

You end up watching a movie together, all three of you. Simeon comes home halfway through it. Having had to visit a publishers. Michael hides behind the door and when Simeon opens it, the dark skinned angel pops out, booping the poor man. "Boop!"

Simeon blinks at him. Michael smirks lightheartedly "Get booped Loserboy."

Simeon smiles, his gaze turning toward you." MC would you lie any help with your Solomon x Michael fanfiction? I heard from Satan that you two were on hiatus."

Michael groans. "Traitors!"

You laugh. "Get fanficked Loserboy."

Michael grins, putting on faux dramatics. "You both suck I'm going back into Luke! At least he's actually cool."

After a lovely movie with Luke, Simeon and Michael, you run away to a cave because why not?

After entering Thirteen's very lovely abode, and avoiding all of the traps laid out for Solomon, you finally catch a glimpse of her vibrant ombre hair.

"Hiya Tee!" You grin, pouncing on her and pulling her into a hug. The reaper, who's clearly batshit insane doesn't even flinch, she just laughs, hugging you back even tighter.

"MC! To what do I owe the pleasure babes?"

You giggle michieviously before bringing your hand up and, "Boop!"

She grins wider, bloodied emerald eyes staring back at you so lovingly, hints of playful devilry in her expression.

"Oh let me try! Boop!" She says before pulling you in for a kiss that makes your knees feel weak.

When you both pull away to catch a breath, you breathe out breathlessly. "That was a super boop....an evil boop even..." You say, face burning red, you know she feels the red hotness of your cheeks.

She just laughs. Tilting her head, some strands of hair falling into her face. "You want another one?"

You've never nodded quicker in your life.

"How in Diavolo's name did you get in here?" Lucifer asks, looking up from the work on his desk. He quickly closes over the confidential files and paperwork, turning his head to Michael once more. Blood red eyes narrowed at their counterpart's.

Michael approaches the Demon at a speed that could rival Mammon's. In an instant he's beside the raven-haired man. "Awww Lucikins don´t worry about it! Boop!"

Lucifer swallows thickly, and flicks his gaze to Michael. Despite having the glare of a thousand suns on him, Michael continues grinning. "Did you...did you just boop my nose?..." The Avatar of Pride asks in a low voice.

"I'm not too sure if I did..." Michael puts his fingers to his chin in mock thought, before grinning, pointer finger in the air. "I'll have to do it again to make sure!" The Archangel exclaims before booping his younger brother on the nose. "Boop!"

Lucifer growls. "Michael-"

"Yes, Lucikins?"

"Michael I am going to kill you."

The elder only laughed, "Awww classic Lucikins! Still in his teenage angst phase!"

"I did not have a teenage angst phase." Lucifer glares, huffing embarassedly, turning away and picking up his quill in an attempt to turn away from this god awful conversation.

Michael gives him a knowing look. "Don't make me pull out the photos."

His head snaps back to his elder brother. "What photos?"

"The photos of you with the wolf cut, the ones with you and the eyeliner, the ones where you're all dressed up in your little emo costumes..." Michael wipes a tear from his eye. "Oh...you were so adorable! Always threatening to murder me...! Glad to see that my wittle baby brother hasn't changed!" The Archangel exclaims, pinching his younger brother's cheeks and making them squish up, Lucifer felt his face flush with embarrassment. Michael laughed, he looked like a chipmunk!

"...'m no' a 'ittle ba'y bro'er! you'r tw' minu'es ol'er than 'ee!" Lucifer tries to shout, but with Michael pushing his cheeks together, it comes out muffled and distorted.

"All I heard is that you said I'm the best big brother in the three realms and you love me very much!"

Lucifer glares at him. A glare that doesn't hold any weight seeing as Michael is still squishing his cheeks together and he still looks like a chipmunk.

With enough squirming and fighting, Lucifer finally manages to get out of his brother's grip, he rubs his cheeks, staring daggers at the angel. "I would never say that. I'm not your baby brother. I'm not Lucikins. You're two minutes older than me yet two centuries more immature." He says venomously.

Too bad Michael's poison proof.

The Archangel laughs, "You're not my baby brother? Huh? Who's bed did you climb in when you were scared of the thunder back in the Celestial Realm?"

Lucifer bristles, swallowing thickly, "That's irrelevant."

"Sureee." Michael grins, though it's softer around the edges, Lucifer feels it too.

Lightning flashes in the Celestial realm. Long before Mammon had even been born. Thunder roars, a small whimper sounds. Lucifer sits in his bed, covers over his head, gripping a pillow tightly. Barely even a cherub, he takes the slight break in the storm to gather the courage to waddle over to his twin's bed.

"Mikey?" Lucifer whispers in the darkness, gripping onto the poles of the bed with his tiny pale hands. "Mikey...you awake?" He says through gapped teeth, a slight lisp in his voice. The gap between his two front teeth would close with time.

The sheets rustle, a young Michael groans, also barely a cherub his voice is as high pitched and childlike as his brother's. "Luci...go to sleep..." The slightly older cherub says, eyes still closed.

"Can't Mikey...'s too loud.." Lucifer whispers, black hair sticking to his forehead in a slight sheen of sweat. As if to prove his point, thunder roars again, lightning flashes. Lucifer whimpers, gripping the pole tighter.

Michael sits up sleepily, short curly hair tied in the tiniest protective braids possible, some small blond coils escaping their confines at the edges of his head. The older cherub wipes a small, chubby hand over his eyes and yawns before opening his duvet up just enough so that Lucifer could climb in.

"Make sure...go to sleep Lucikins..." Michael whispers tiredly, covering his yawning mouth before abandoning his teddy bear and putting his arm around his little brother instead.

Thunder sounds again. Lucifer stiffens and lets out a small sound. "Mikey...'m scared..." He grips onto his twins matching pajamas tightly with his tiny little hands.

Michael grins sleepily, red eyes staring into his twins same coloured ones. "Don't worry Lucikins! 'm always gonna p'tect you! That's wha' big brothers are for!"

The thunder still sounds, Lucifer still stiffens slightly,but surrounded by the warmth and comfort of his twin, he manages to sleep soundly.

After all the madness and badness. (Devil face emoji) You and Michael meet up in a Devildom café.

"That was productive!" The Archangel grins.

"Indeed it was Michael....indeed it was...." You say, a blissed out look on your face.

Michael arches a brow, "Is that one of Thirteen's leather jackets?"

"Maybe..." You say dreamily, playing with the sleeves.

Michael just laughs at you. "Get it, I guess! Anyway wanna watch Gilmore Girls with me? I need to catch up with Raphael...he's a few episodes ahead of me."

"Of course I do."

Michael brings his hands together in an imitation of a fly on a wall doing the hand thing. "Excellent."

.

.

.

"Do you think Luke's going to grow up to open a coffee shop?"

"Nah, he'd open a bakery."

this is utter bullshit and utter dogshit idek

[rollinouttahere-writes]

What about monsters au or maybe a fairy au

These have yandere themes to them from when this was supposed to be part of a Halloween event, but I decided to keep it that way because I like it. The first paragraph lightly explains what they are, the second is a reader-insert scenario.

Yandere Straw Hats Monster AU

2.3k words

Monkey D. Luffy - Faerie

Luffy has some intense fae vibes in my humble opinion. He’s chaotic, marches to the beat of his own drum, and he’s prone to dragging people into lifelong friendships that they CANNOT escape from. Luffy finds other fae to be rather uppity, and he prefers the company of humans. They’re so funny and weird! Plus he likes their food. Luffy comes from a very powerful bloodline, though people tend to forget about this fact until it’s too late and they’ve already provoked him.

One day when you’re out foraging, you almost step inside a fairy ring. You count your lucky stars that you didn’t and turn to leave and give the ring a wide margin, but a voice comes from behind you. A faerie is casually sitting in the circle and asks if he could have some of your food. Not wanting to upset him, you toss the snacks you brought for the day to him. He all but demands that you come to visit him once in a while, and you’re forced to abide. Refusing would upset him, but agreeing and then not keeping your word would be even worse. Fortunately, as you continue to meet with him, you find him to be awfully kind and fun for a faerie. You begin to look forward to these meetings. When he asks one day if you’re his friend, it’s only natural for you to say yes. A big mistake, you would quickly come to realize. By agreeing that you’re his friend, you’ve unwittingly given him ownership of yourself. But it’s okay! You two will have lots of fun along with all of his other friends!

Roronoa Zoro - Werewolf/Barghest

Another case of vibes, Zoro just screams werewolf to me. The barghest is a monstrous black dog originating from English mythology, with some sources claiming that a wound inflicted by its claws will never heal. I’ve combined this creature with a werewolf to make it a bit more interesting. When Zoro transforms, he takes on a grotesque and massive wolf-like shape with green fur. He’s capable of standing on two legs, but walking on all four feels much more natural in this state.

Zoro is a renowned monster hunter, as well as a close colleague of yours. After working with him for years, it’s deeply concerning to you when he comes back from a mission only to seal himself away in his home and refuse to interact with anyone. You try to be patient with him, but as time goes on, you NEED to get to the bottom of what happened. He’s been holed up for over a month, so you figure that he must be leaving in the night to get food and water. As you’re lying in wait in a nearby shed, rather than seeing him leave, you hear crashing and yelling coming from his home. Without thinking, you rush in. You don’t know if he’s being attacked or what, but you can’t leave him to suffer. It takes some effort to break the door down, but you do. The home is in shambles. Furniture is ripped to shreds, holes have been punched in the walls, and there are claw marks everywhere. Your attention turns to the writhing mass of limbs and fur in the corner. The moonlight illuminates the room just enough for you to recognize the shade of green the fur is, and your heart falls into your stomach when the creature turns to look at you. There’s a scar over the left eye. Before you have a chance to process this gut wrenching information, he’s on you. As he’s snarling over you, you wonder if you’ll be able to bring yourself to kill your friend before he can kill you.

Nami - Kitsune

Kitsunes are highly intelligent, cunning, and mischievous. All of these traits fit Nami perfectly. She is still quite young for a kitsune and only has two tails so far. In order to make some easy money, she establishes herself at a shrine and demands tribute, primarily in the form of money, though she will also accept fine jewelry and kimonos. 

The shrine she occupies happens to be the one your family cares for, making you her personal shrine maiden. Well, shrine maiden in training. In the beginning, you’re run ragged trying to accommodate such a demanding spirit. Once Nami is confident that you are a good match for her, she relaxes somewhat, but demands near constant attention. You’re unable to eat with your family because she wants you to eat with her instead. Opportunities to see friends are consistently shot down by her requesting that you brush her hair/fur for her or other mundane tasks. It was a little flattering at first to have a prestigious spirit favoring you, but it rapidly becomes draining. It isn’t truly your place to be asking her questions, but you do anyway. Why is she so dedicated to taking up every second of your time? You aren’t even a proper shrine maiden yet, doesn’t she want someone more experienced assisting her? Nami giggles at your inquiry and pets your head in a way that feels more than a little condescending. She explains that it only makes sense for her to be focused on you. Your initiation ceremony is coming up, and those play out like wedding ceremonies more or less. Of course she’s going to favor the person who is about to essentially be offered as a spouse to her.

Usopp - Drider/Anansi

Anansi is a popular figure in Akan mythology and is strongly associated with storytelling. He’s known for being a bit of a trickster, but also a hero and extremely cunning. I’ve combined this with a drider to make him more humanoid, but he is also capable of shapeshifting when he so pleases. Usopp has a reputation for being troublesome, but ultimately helpful. Sure, he drives the locals up the wall some days, but he’s willing to step up into a heroic role when necessary.

Usopp had been dwelling near your village for a while now, longer than he normally would. He just can’t help it though, you’re one of his favorite people to tell his tales to. You never question the validity of what he’s saying or roll your eyes, you just eagerly listen to his stories with a sparkle in your eyes the whole time. When he’s causing trouble, you take it on the chin and laugh it off. He falls fast and he falls hard. Slowly, he starts to incorporate scarier stories into his repertoire. To make sure that you fully believe what he’s telling you, he’ll shapeshift into various forms and lurk around just barely in the corner of your vision, only to flee when you whip around to investigate. When you vent to him about how frightened you’ve been as of late, he’s quick to offer a solution. Why don’t you come with him? He’ll bring you somewhere safe and keep all the monsters away from you. Doesn’t that sound perfect?

Sanji - Yaoguai

I bounced around with a lot of different monsters before eventually settling on this one. A yaoguai is a type of demon from Chinese mythology. Though technically, he’s only half-demon. His father was a god turned demon who was banished from Heaven by the Jade Emperor when he became too arrogant in his power and miserably failed in defending an important artifact. Ever since then, he has been desperate to regain his godhood and has resorted to trying to make supremely powerful warriors of his children. Their mother was a human who was forcibly taken and used in their creation. Sanji suffered a lot of cruelty for being the weakest of his siblings, with the only kindness he ever received being from his human mother (as well as a certain chef after he ran away from home). It’s unsurprising that he strongly prefers the company of humans to demons.

That also means that in his quest to find true love, he’s only looking at humans. Unlike his father, he desperately wants to have a loving, mutual relationship. He tries so hard, but his courtships always end the same way. Everything seems great in the beginning, they’re happy, they’re falling in love. The problem is that all of these begin with him taking on the appearance of a normal human. He wants to be open and honest with what he’s hoping will be the love of his life, so when it’s gotten serious and marriage is brought up, he reveals his true form. Every time, every single time, they scream and run away in horror. Sanji has lost track of how many times he’s been chased out of a village after doing this. He’s getting desperate. By the time he ventures into your town, he’s made up his mind to not tell the next person. At least not before the wedding. Even if you scream and cry and say that you hate him, he’ll make you stay with him long enough to see that he’s the same Sanji that you fell in love with even if he does look different now. He isn’t going to hurt or eat you, you just need some time to realize that. After you have, everything will be fine. At least so he hopes.

Tony Tony Chopper - Leshy (there are so many spellings I’m sorry if this isn’t the right one)

A Leshy is a type of guardian deity for forests from Slavic mythology. They rule over and protect their given forest, and their attitudes towards people imposing on it can really vary based on where the legends originate from and how the intruders act in the forest. They are able to take the form of anything in the forest and imitate woodland noises. It’s anyone’s guess how they will handle a human wandering into their domain. Maybe they’ll be lighthearted and playful, or maybe that person won’t ever be seen again. They’re very ambiguous. Chopper leans towards the more lighthearted side of things. He’s very shy towards most humans, but can become angry and lash out if they do something he doesn’t approve of.

Living right on the edge of a massive forest can certainly be nerve wracking, but you do your best to make it work. You did everything in your power to avoid potentially upsetting whatever Leshy is inhabiting the forest, and it seems your efforts worked… Perhaps a little too well. It started with seeing a bizarre deer-like creature amongst your livestock or outside your windows. Then you started hearing things. One day you could have sworn a terrible thunderstorm rolled in abruptly, only to dash outside and see nothing but clear skies. Eventually, the Leshy got bold enough to approach you directly. You knew you should have been distressed to have such a deity so close to you, but it was hard to be scared of such a small and cute creature. Chopper seems so youthful and childlike that you can’t help but grow fond of his little visits. Then he starts pushing for you to visit him. He has a home at the center of the forest and he desperately wants to show it to you. It couldn’t hurt to go just once, right?

Nico Robin - Harpy/Gamayun

The Gamayun is a prophetic bird with the head of a human woman from Russian mythology that is said to know literally everything and to spread prophecies and divine messages. Again, I’ve combined this with a Harpy for the sake of giving her a more humanoid form. While some people appreciate the endless knowledge Robin possesses, others fear and want to repress it. Robin can rarely stay in the same area for long without worrying about an attempt on her life.

It’s after an almost successful murder attempt that she meets you. One of her wings was shot, leaving her unable to fly away. When you suddenly appear and usher her into your home, she is highly suspicious of your intentions, but she goes along with it because she feels like she has no other option. Much to her surprise, you misguide the people hunting her and then tend to her wounds. As time goes by and she stays put while she’s still healing, she is shocked at how you never once ask her for information or prophecies. You’re being kind to her… because you want to? And you expect nothing in return? It’s unheard of for her. By the time she’s healed, she’s completely enraptured by you. She can’t go back to her perpetual solitude now that she’s gotten a taste of kinship. You must feel the same. You have to feel the same.

Franky - Talos

Talos was a giant bronze statue built by Hephaestus to guard the island of Crete in Greek mythology. His main job is to drive off pirates and other enemies by hurling boulders at them. For the sake of this AU, let’s say that rather than dying, he is simply subdued and ultimately lives. Franky feels lost and like a failure. He leaves Crete to set up shop on a new island where he takes it upon himself to take misfits under his wing. He doesn’t want other people to feel the way he does, so he does his best to take care of them and give them a sense of purpose.

Admittedly, you haven’t made the best decisions in life, that’s a given. Being a petty thief and general troublemaker is hardly anything to brag about, but it’s your life and you’ll do what you want. That is, until some giant bronze behemoth snatches you up and declares himself your mentor. He isn’t even giving great advice, it looks like he’s herding cats when he tries to get all of the local hellions to work together to better their lives. Unfortunately for you, not only can you not escape him, the others are buying into it and trying to drag you down with them.

[dreamerwitches]

Right! Off we go off we go! Andreana and Kako. Yeah I'm still torn on this. I just think the original doppel worked really well and this one just... ruined it..? I don't think they needed to change the doppel aspects and in doing so it made it look worse. The dual blades looks too busy and kinda dumb and why is her hand up there?? I get she's reckless so she might have cut it off but still... I'm unsure about the legs either. Her whole body is a mishmash of colours and her legs are suddenly all one colour? Dunno... I'd give her a bigger book skirt, highlight the bookmarks more (yes I know the legs are probably bookmarks but moreso as a skirt) and probably give her legs more like her arms.

Oh dear Maura... why did they choose the curtain one..? Maura and Nanaka. It's... it's boring, anyone with eyes can see it's boring. I just feel like the witch takes away from everything interesting about the original. My favourite part is how dark Nanaka's inclusion is and of course, that's absent here. And even the upside down curtain was at least a little interesting but now it's just curtains hanging the regular ol' way. I feel like this witch would be way way better animated instead of just sitting there curtain-ly. They should've chosen someone else with a better doppel...

Meiyui and Delanna. Now I know why she's in a crib, she's just straight up babyish and sleep themed. I think she's fine, nothing special. The crib is fun and creepy. I kinda wish the mouths were more creepy but I guess that's just her style :T

Heidesommer and Konomi... ehhhhh this is super boring... the doppel is more fun... witch is just a mound, it looks like a pile of junk. I don't have much to say about it... doppel is better

Cendrillon and Rena. Now. I think the full witch is beautiful. The colours are so pretty, the faces are horrifying and the bird detailing is lovely. But... is it the doppel..? N-Not for me... Like, I just feel the bird theming comes out of NOWHERE. Her theme is Cinderella, where did this come from?! (actually do birds peck out the eyes of the ugly stepsisters or something in the original? Maybe, that would be a bit better) And the three legs don't do it for me. I felt the one leg to highlight the missing glass slipper works well. And the hair pieces being on the side of her body doesn't sit right with me. Neither does the tail(?) piece, looks stuck on like they were like 'oh, fuck, we forgot the fan part!' BUT. It is a beautiful witch. Do I see this doppel coming from it if it was the other way around? No Also here I included Cendrillon's brief anime appearance and it lines up pretty well! I think in the anime one the body looks more lumpy, the beak isn't as big and its missing the wings.

Zola and Kaede. Meh, disappointed. Why is she less detailed than the doppel??? But I suppose we already kinda saw what she was gonna look like anyway, I should have prepared myself... From the anime, my favourite part was her body and it just feels kinda hard to see here, like, show me those RIBS! I wanna see them! And those big ol' arms! But they're so hidden by the background and her body mehh. Plus I think the face of the doppel is weird and creepy and that's just not there in the final... Also don't like how the horns(?) just completely differ from the doppels style. They kinda look like veins but I dunno if I like them.

Also special guest... my own full witch interpretation from (i think) last years witchtober. I prefer mine thank youuu. But if I redid the witch I'd give her the doppel face, I believe I was basing mine off the anime image at the time

Let's finish on a good one! Momoko and Elfriede! Another that's super pretty, I have few complaints. The head is horrifying and I love it and the dress is still super pretty. Only gripe is I prefer the black lace to the gold gems. My biggest gripe is the fat, bloated hand at the bottom. Why..? What was wrong with the doppel's ones? I think such a slim and elegant needed something better than a hand that looks like a balloon dog. If the fingers were longer I think it would have worked better. And the floating fingies look a little dumb but thats minor

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Parenthood-Maki, Mai, Nobara, and Miwa X Male Himbo Reader Pt.2

@exolocke : Hey I saw ur Jujutsu Kaisen women with Himbo reader, and I was curious if that could get a part two for when the relationship is more developed and more life long topics are brought up in it, stuff like the topic of kids, or other things that come up in a long term relationship, I didn’t see ur stance on NSFW topics so I totally understand if that’s not something included if it’s out of ur comfort zone.

Anyway thanks for taking time to read this and have a nice day 😊

(thank you for the request! I’m perfectly fine with NSFW though I will admit I’m not all that good at it. Originally this was going to be mostly NSFW but then the writing goblin in my head kind of just… took the request idea and ran with it in a different direction.)

But enough of that, YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!

Warnings: Light Angst, Suggestive Content, Mentions Of Violence

Words: 1,693

Maki

You and Maki have been together for years.

There were of course highs and lows as with any relationship.

But the both of you moved past them with a bit of hard headed determination and a lot of the two of you being the two of you.

And this of course led to the inevitable that everyone could see from a mile away except you two.

Marriage, the merging of the last of the Zenin clan and your own family.

It was something that neither of you ever expected to happen while everyone else had money on how long it would take before one of you popped the question.

Of course Gojo won that bet, even from beyond the grave, but he’s not important right now.

So now the two of you are married.

And the both of you were being very, very, very stiff around one another.

It was worse than when the both of you started dating.

All because the both of you had a question they wanted to ask the other.

A question that sat between the both of you like a loaded gun.

A question that you were the first to ask.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Maki…” You began to say before trailing off while the both of you lazed about on a slaw day while the rain was beating against the building.

“Yeah?” Maki tentatively asked, already knowing the question about to be asked and still not knowing how she would answer it.

“What’s your thoughts on having kids?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Maki’s world screeched to a halt as she turned the question over and over in her head.

“What did she think about having kids?”

It was never something she thought about.

Never something she ever considered to be possible.

And yet now that she had been asked the question she had to decide if she wanted to have one.

It was something she could answer easily.

Yes, she’d love to have kids with you, and raise them with you.

But there was more to it than that.

There was…

No, they weren’t here anymore, she was free of that place.

And if there was one thing she’s learned from you it's this.

Don’t just think, feel too.

So Maki did exactly that and answered your question in the only way she knew how.

With her whole being.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Inumaki was concerned about Maki.

Sure she could probably slap a curse and kill it but still… She was a friend.

A friend who hasn’t come to training in quite a while.

Which for anyone else would be perfectly fine.

But Maki wasn’t other people, she was Maki.

Training was what she did for fun.

And Inumaki wanted to know why she wasn’t coming to training and why she was always sleeping or eating weird foods.

Well, weirder foods than usual that is.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Inumaki slipped behind the corner as you and Maki talked.

“-you okay?” You asked the muscular woman.

“Yeah, just tired, and nauseous, why the fuck does growing a kid make you feel like you’ve just gotten off a damn roller coaster?” Maki asked with a groan while leaning on the wall.

Meanwhile, Inumaki was having his world flipped on its head at the sudden information he had been given.

Maki Zenin, the strongest woman he knows bar none, is pregnant with your kid.

And he just figured this out because he stuck his nose where it shouldn’t have been.

He needs to run, and fast.

Really, really, REALLY fucking fast.

So that's exactly what he did as soon as the two of you weren’t paying attention. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Inumaki’s current train of thought could be most accurately described as “Oh god, Oh fuck, Oh god, Oh fuck.”

And it was for good reason considering what he just learned.

He prayed to god Maki wouldn’t kill him if he accidentally let it slip.

Oh who was he kidding, she absolutely would.

Inumaki burst into the faculty room where his friends minus Maki sat.

“Whoa! What's wrong with you, Toge!?” the large ball of fluff known as Panda asked.

And without thinking, the white haired man exclaimed “SALMON ROE!”

He then slapped both his prosthetic and his real hand over his mouth as dread overtook him.

Meanwhile everyone in the room looked like Inumaki had just pulled the pin on a grenade and tossed it.

Mai

Mai Zenin sat on the couch, devouring her fifth bag of chips from a bowl that was placed on her swollen belly.

“You're a hungry little shit ain’t ya?” Mai affectionately asked the small human growing inside of her.

Mai was not expecting a response when she asked this but she got one in the form of the baby kicking.

For the very first time.

“…Oh.” Was all Mai was able to say as a flood of emotions overwhelmed her.

Mai was someone who never let out what she was feeling.

It was something she learned from when she was young.

A tool for survival.

But now she had no need to use it.

Her life was filled with friends, with family, true family.

She had a life filled with love, with everything she could want plus more.

She even had you, one of the most powerful living sorcerers as the one who loved her.

And now, even more was about to be added to this dreamlike life of hers.

A child, one she wouldn’t let go of even if she was dead.

A human that would receive as much love as Mai could offer.

A human that would receive as much love as you could offer as well.

A human that wouldn’t have to fear what she did, not only because the Zenin were gone, but because Mai would simply never allow that to happen.

That is the promise she made to the child growing inside of her in that exact moment.

That is the promise she made to her child, the one that she would raise and support, no matter what.

Nobara

Nobara held her daughter in her arms, looking into her sleeping face with her one good eye.

It was a surreal experience.

“Ya know you were a lotta trouble to bring out here right? How the heck are you so dang peaceful now?” Nobara whispered the question before turning her face to look at you a few feet away from her, sleeping in a chair, your arms crossed, but more than ready to turn any cursed spirit that tried to show its ugly mug into ground beef.

“Prolly cause of your dad, he always had a good poker face, though it was probably a good thing Yuji got to that Mahito guy before he did, If what I’ve heard bout’ that warpath he was on after I got taken out of commission and his domain expansion is to be believed he would’ve turned the entire area into one of those crazy things that M.C. Esher guy made.” Nobara muttered to herself before looking back at her child.

Her Child.

Nobara turned the phrase over and over in her head.

Didn’t quite make sense to her yet.

This small, tiny little thing in her arms came from you and her.

This little girl was the very manifestation of the love you and Nobara shared.

A physical manifestation of everything you and Nobara went through to reach this point.

It was something she needed to wrap her head around, though her heart was more than already there.

She could already tell that this little girl was going to be the greatest part of her life with you.

And she couldn’t wait to get that life truly started.

Miwa

You, Miwa, and a small, little boy dressed for school walked side by side on the street.

“I’m gonna make so many friends!” the small boy exclaimed, pumping his fist into the air, copying his fathers excitable nature.

“Oh I know you will, ain’t that right Kasumi?” You asked your wife and the love of your life.

Miwa turned her eyes down to her son and then raised her eyes to yours.

Eyes that were filled with sadness.

“Of course, our little boy will be the most popular boy in school.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

You and Miwa waved goodbye as the two of you walked away from the school.

“Heh, pretty sure that teacher thought we were Yakuza.” You said with a chuckle.

“If you started to wear your clothes right she might not get that impression.” Miwa said with a slightly teasing tone that held a sadness within.

“Sigh What’s up with you Kasumi? You’ve been acting weird since this morning.” You asked your wife in concern.

“It’s no-” Miwa began before being cut off by you saying “Don’t say “It’s nothing of concern” Kasumi, I can tell when something is wrong with you.”

Miwa was silent for a moment before trying to say something, but stumbling all over her words “It’s… I… schools and… and curses…”

“Don’t worry Kasumi, curses aren’t going to go after him, not with the both of us around.” You told your wife in an attempt to soothe her.

“B-but what if-” Miwa began before you wrapped your arm around her, pulling her close to you and saying.

“We can’t worry about what if’s, we won’t be able to protect him from everything, it's impossible to do that, but we can do everything we can while we are here for him to lean on. As long as we love him and as long as we do our utmost to protect him from everything we can while steering him right, that’s the best we can do. I know you want to keep him away from the things that took our friends but we can’t, all we can do is what we can do. I’m just as afraid as you are but being afraid won’t do anything, doing what we can will.”

“I-i know, you're right as usual, but can we just go over that place, one more time tonight?” Miwa asked, wanting to do everything she can to protect the little boy you and her made together.

“Of course, I was just about to suggest the same.”

[badkitty3000]

Lewd Public Acts: Five x OC One Shot

Getting busy in a public space with people around? The idea of someone witnessing everything becomes a turn on for Five's wife, and he is definitely up for the challenge. After all, he can never deny her anything. And, let's face it; there might be something in it for him, too.

Warnings: Smut, Public sex, Dirty talk, Fingering, Blow jobs

Words: 7,412

Here is a smutty one shot I wrote featuring my original character, an aged-up Five's love of his life, Vivian, from my Halo series. That AU spawned its own series of one shots that you can read here.

I love writing these two horny love-birds, so if you have any requests for a story featuring them, or Five and a reader-insert, let me know!

The traffic was incessantly slow, with the cars creeping forward mere inches at a time every few minutes. There was nowhere to go; not even a shoulder to drive on if you wanted to be that kind of jerk. Which, after over an hour of sitting in roughly the same spot, breathing in exhaust fumes and listening to his wife’s horrific playlist of songs, Five would have gladly taken twenty traffic violation tickets just to get out of there. He gripped the steering wheel tighter, imagining it was the neck of whoever had caused this nightmare to begin with.

Viv risked a side glance, noticing the red flag that was the twitchy eye and bared teeth of her husband. Her eyes moved back in front of her, to the glove compartment where Five kept his Glock, and she subtly pressed her knee up against it. Just in case.

About thirty minutes into this fiasco, Five had put the car in park and blinked out and down the standing row of cars to try and get a look at what the hold up was, much to the shock of the other drivers. After he had stood on the side of the road, hands on his hips, assessing the situation in the most Five way possible, and then blinking back into the car, Viv had scrunched down in her seat and gave the confused, older lady in the car next to her an embarrassed smile.

Risking making things worse, and possibly her life, Viv quietly cleared her throat.

“Five. There’s nothing we can do. It sucks, but there’s no point in getting all assassin-level angry about it.”

When Five’s head whipped around in her direction, she flinched just slightly; his face looking dangerously crazy.

“Yes, I know there’s nothing we can do, Vivie.” He drew out his words slowly and measured, as if talking to a small child. “But I am tired and hungry and very, VERY over this music.” He stabbed his finger at the screen that had just lit up with the beginnings of “Sweet Caroline”, stopping poor Neil before he could get to the chorus.

The car was quiet again and Viv tried to choke down the laugh she felt forming inside of her. It never failed to amuse her when her murderous husband with a long history of blood and violence started acting like a toddler that was overdue for a nap and a snack. The more she sat there, watching him seethe out of the corner of her eye, the more she thought about it. And then she couldn’t keep it suppressed anymore. The laugh started as a muffled snort, and then her shoulders started to shake. When Five looked over at her, completely unamused, it all burst forward in a loud, obnoxious cackle that had her doubled over.

“Always glad to be your entertainment,” he snarled, looking away again.

“Oh, come on, Five…you don’t have to be so dramatic,” Viv argued, even as she still tried to swallow her laughter.

“How am I being dramatic?” Five asked loudly, throwing his hands in the air with all the drama of a telenovela actor. “You’re the one that wanted to go to this restaurant across town, even though I told you it would be a bitch to get to. And I was right, wasn’t I? You know, sometimes you can admit when I’m right. It wouldn’t kill you.”

Rather than answer, Viv reached across with one hand, squeezing his cheeks and squishing in his face. She beamed over at him as he gave her the death glare. Part of the fun of messing with him was knowing she was the only one that could ever get away with it. Anyone else would have been swiftly joining the unidentifiable roadkill that was lying next to their car.

“You’re so super cute when you’re all angry.”

Five swatted her hand away. “Thin ice, Vivie. You’re on real thin ice.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “What exactly are you going to do about it?”

“Off the top of my head, I’m thinking of spatial jumping myself out of here and leaving you here.”

Viv scoffed. “You wouldn’t dare. Besides, how far would you even get?”

“Far enough to get away from this mess and to think happily back on the image of you still sitting here, crying tears of regret over your treatment of me.”

Viv pressed her lips together to keep from laughing again. Even though Five’s body language and words gave the impression of some serious underlying wrath, the tiniest formation of a dimple on his cheek gave him away. He may have actually been pissed at the situation, but he’d never leave her like that.

“Fine. You were right…I was wrong. This was a bad idea. There, you good now?” she condescendingly patted his thigh.

As she turned back towards the passenger window, in the process of taking her hand back, she felt him grab hold of it, keeping her pressed into his leg. She turned back to face him with a questioning look. All she received in return was a very evil smile of which she knew the exact meaning behind. Uh-oh.

“Oh, no…no way, buddy. I am not giving you a hand job in the middle of a traffic jam. Absolutely not.”

Even Viv knew her argument lacked much conviction; the sternness in her voice was definitely not very convincing. When Five didn’t respond, she kept going.

“Besides, it’s not like we’re very hidden here, we’re surrounded by all these other cars with people in them and it’s broad daylight out. Not to mention my very nosy window neighbor over here, I’m pretty sure her name is Gladys, keeps looking over at us. I think she likes you.”

None of that did anything to dissuade Five; it was as if she hadn’t said anything at all. He just grasped her hand tighter, that cock-sure smile of his never wavering.

“First of all, you need to make up for this disaster you put us in, which you have so kindly admitted was your doing. Second, I have a very different kind of job in mind for you, my love. And third, I know you; and I can guarantee you’re going to have your head in my lap in a matter of minutes.”

Five took Viv’s hand and pressed it roughly between his legs, making sure she knew he wasn’t fucking around. She could feel him growing and getting harder as he rubbed her palm over the top of his pants. He closed his eyes and let out a soft exhale.

“Jesus, Five. How can you be so pissed off one second and so horny the next? That’s not normal.”

He opened his eyes and grinned over at her. “Just one of my many talents. Now, are you going to get over here? Or are you going to keep pretending you’re not going to suck my dick when I tell you to?”

She laughed softly, but didn’t make a move, even though her breath had become noticeably faster and she stopped trying to pull her hand away.

Five unbuckled his seat belt and slid the seat back further to make more room. Then he settled back into the seat, spreading his legs apart and leaning his head back with his eyes closed.

“Darling, I really don’t want to have to tell you again,” he warned, not even bothering to look over at her or open his eyes.

As he moved her hand over the crotch of his pants again, Viv took a deep, shaky breath and bit her bottom lip.  He knew exactly how to get to her.  How to turn her from a strong, confident woman into a quivering mess of sexed-up gelatin.  It’s like he knew the special, magic formula to instantly soak her panties and leave her wanting him.  She may have been the boss of him in every other aspect of their lives, but when it came to anything sexual…Five was in charge.

After a brief look to her nosy neighbor, who happened to be looking straight ahead for once, she undid her own seat belt and leaned in closer to Five. She lightly ran her lips over his neck while she started undoing his pants.

“You’re lucky I’m willing to let you talk to me like that,” she murmured with a smile before kissing the corner of his mouth.

“You’ve been letting me talk to you like that since the day we met,” he replied; which was entirely true. Then he let out a soft moan as she freed his dick from his pants and started slowly stroking him.

“So, what’s going to be in this for me?” Viv asked, still teasing him with feather light kisses on his neck.

“Dinner. Maybe,” Five answered dryly, trying to conceal his smile as he inhaled a sharp breath when her hand moved over him again.

The movement stopped completely then, and Five opened his eyes to look at her unamused face. Trying to push himself up into her fist, but to no avail, Five conceded with a short laugh.

“How does this sound? If we ever get out of this nightmare and home again, I’m going to get you on all fours and fuck you with my hand, then my mouth, and then my dick until you’re coming onto each one of them.”

Viv could feel the unmistakable rush of moisture between her legs when he said things like that. It was an automatic response from her body; because it knew that’s exactly what was going to happen. She started to rub his cock again, harder and faster this time, causing him to flop his head back with a loud groan and close his eyes again.

“Deal. Just make sure you’re watching the road and pay attention if we start moving.”

“Uh-huh…got it,” he mumbled, his hand already pushing her head down.

Vivian was on him a second later, taking him all in at once, and letting him guide her head with his hand in her hair. If there was one thing she knew, it was that the man loved a good blow job. She’d given countless to him over the years, and in that time had gotten to know exactly the way he liked it and the quickest way to make him finish, too. She considered herself a Professional Number Five Cock Sucker at this point. She could have taught a class.

She made little moaning noises as she moved her head up and down in a certain rhythm, making sure the head of his dick hit the back of her throat each time. She gagged once in a while, but he liked that, too; knowing he was big enough to choke her if he really pushed her down hard enough. The angle was awkward, but not anything she couldn’t handle and she used her hand along with her mouth to speed things up. But when her neck and back were starting to ache and the gear shift was digging into her armpit, he was still going strong. She had another trick up her sleeve that would wrap things up, though.

Taking her mouth off, but still working him with her hand, she looked up and made sure he was watching her face as she licked her lips.

“Let me feel your cum down my throat, Daddy,” she purred, as seductively as she could.

Then she was back to sucking him off and she could hear the low groaning noise that meant he was going to do just what she had asked of him. His hand tightened in her hair and he held her down while he pushed his hips up, his back arching and body stiff and twitching while he lost himself to her expert mouth-fucking skills. He was almost completely spent, the last few spurts of cum sliding down her throat, when there was the undeniable crunching sound and hard jolt of their car hitting the one in front of them.

Viv did choke a little with the impact, and lucky for Five he didn’t get his dick bitten off. The car had been rolling so slowly that it had only gently bumped the other car. But it was still enough to do some damage. Not to mention the impact had somehow kicked the music back on and suddenly the car was being blasted with the all-too familiar lyrics of “Sweet Caroline”.

…touching me…touching youuuuuu….

“Fuck!” Five cried as Viv lifted her head up quickly and looked out the windshield to see what had happened.

She groaned. “Five, god damn it! I told you to watch what you were doing!”

“Yeah, I know!” he snapped back at her over the loudly obnoxious song. While trying to stuff himself back into his pants and zip up, he visibly winced. “I guess my foot slipped off the brake! I was a little preoccupied!”

Sweet Caroline…bum bum bum…

“You were preoccupied?! I was the one choking on your damn dick!”

“Charming, Viv, really.”

Good times never seemed so good….

“Well, shit. Great, the guy is getting out of his car. Oh my god, he’s walking over here! Now what?”

“Jesus, I don’t know! Act fucking normal I guess, if you can manage that,” Five barked at her. “And turn this FUCKING music off!”

Five practically punched the touchscreen with his fist and Neil shut up again. The car seemed extra quiet, except for their angry breathing.

As the other driver got closer, Viv suddenly realized the absurdity of the whole situation. She knew what they looked like; her hair a tangled mess from Five’s hand, lips swollen and her chest flushed. Five was breathing hard and trying to tuck in his shirt and buckle his belt. Then add in the fact that they had started yelling at each other, and Viv immediately burst out laughing. When Five looked at her, first in complete shock, he must have come to the same conclusion she had and he shook his head with a smile.

“You are a very bad girl, Vivian Hargreeves.”

“And you are a very bad influence,” she replied with another giggle.

As Five composed himself and got out of the car to assess the minor damage with the annoyed looking man; Viv glanced over to Gladys who was wearing a very sour expression on her face. Clearly, she had seen the whole thing go down, including the sinful activity that had taken place. Instead of hiding in embarrassment, though, Viv just waved out the window to her with a happy smile and gave her a thumb’s up. Then she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and licked her lips, all while staring the haughty looking woman in the face. She couldn’t help but crack up again when she saw the woman gasp and cover her mouth with her hand, completely appalled.

Later that evening, after they had finally gotten home and eaten dinner and Five had eaten something else just like he had promised, they were lying in bed in the dark when Viv started laughing again.

“I can’t stop thinking about that lady’s face. She was so horrified. I’m sure she was going to go pray for us as soon as she could get back to her church.”

Five chuckled. “Well, you did put on a good show.”

“Yeah, but was it worth that ticket and the increase in our auto insurance?”

Five pulled her in close to him and kissed her cheek. “Absolutely one-hundred percent worth it.”

Viv sighed and laid her head on his chest. “You know what’s weird though? I kind of liked it.”

“Of course you did. What’s not to like?”

She rolled her eyes. “Not that. Doing it in public like that. Where people could see us? It was kind of a rush.”

“Huh. Well, that’s certainly good to know. Let me file that away along with all the other dirty things my wife likes.”

“That file must be getting pretty big by now. Your wife sounds like freak,” she laughed.

“You have no idea.��

A few days later, Viv was standing in front of her closet after her morning shower, wrapped in a towel and staring at the empty space that used to be occupied by more clothes.

“Five! Where the hell are all my work pants?” she yelled out.

A minute later, Five strolled in with his coffee, looking suspiciously innocent. “What do you mean?”

She eyed him up with a hand on her hip. “My pants are missing. Know anything about this?”

He shook his head with a smile and took a sip from his mug. “Not a clue. Weird. Guess you’re going to just have to wear a skirt to work.”

Viv narrowed her eyes. “What are you doing?”

Five shrugged and walked to her closet, looking at the line of skirts. Picking out a tight, black skirt that would be way too short to wear to work, he placed it on the bed. “Wear that one.”

“Five…I can’t wear-“

“I thought I’d come by and take you out to lunch today,” he interrupted with a gleam in his eye.

Now she understood. This skirt was for him, not her. And she was pretty sure she knew what lunch meant.

With a shake of her head she smiled. “You know, this skirt would actually be perfect to wear today. Even though there’s a good chance I might accidentally give everyone at work a look at my Area 51.”

“Your what?”

She shrugged. “I’m trying out new names for my vag. Area 51. Like it?”

“I honestly don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he replied sarcastically.

“Yes, you do,” she grinned.

Five just smirked knowingly and left the room to let her finish getting ready. But when she opened her underwear drawer, she found that it was empty as well.

“God damn it, he’s good,” she muttered to herself with a smile.

Viv spent the rest of the morning trying to avoid the scandalized looks of her coworkers while also trying to pull her skirt down so it wouldn’t ride all the way up and show the entire lab her bare bikini biscuit, which she had decided was her new favorite term. In between wrestling with her completely inappropriate outfit, she kept an eye on the clock. She was supposed to meet Five downstairs in the lobby at noon. He didn’t say where he was taking her, but she figured that was because she was the lunch.

Finally, it was noon and Viv rushed downstairs, fully anticipating a nice long lunch hour consisting of an orgasm or two. When she saw Five she hugged him and gave him a kiss.

“So, where are you taking me?”

He let his hands roam over her hips and down to her ass that was just barely covered by the skirt. “I don’t care. Wherever you want. What sounds good?”

Viv frowned. “Wait. Are you actually taking me out to lunch?”

He smiled innocently. “That’s what I said I was going to do. Why? What were you thinking?”

With a very suspicious look at her husband, Viv cocked her head to the side. “What was up with the skirt then? And the no panties?”

Again, Five just shrugged like he had no idea what she was getting at. “Nothing. I just like that skirt, it looks nice on you. And you probably left all your underwear in the dryer like you always do.”

Viv let out a frustrated sigh. “You are so weird. Fine, let’s go across the street to that café. If I can make it there without flashing the entire city my pink velvet sausage wallet.”

Five choked on a shocked laugh. “Your what?”

“What? You don’t like that one? I thought it was a winner.”

“And I’m the weird one,” he said with a shake of his head.

After their actual lunch of food, where Viv fully expected Five to blink her out of there and fuck her somewhere private, but never did; they walked back across to Viv’s building where she went to give him a kiss good bye.

“Hang on. I’ll go up with you.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Why?”

“Can’t I want to spend a few more minutes with my beautiful wife? Is that a crime?”

“You’re up to something, Hargreeves; I know you are.”

But Five gave no further explanation, so they walked to the elevator together. Viv’s lab was on the 20th floor, and the elevators were all packed with workers returning from lunch. When the doors opened, a throng of people pushed in, filling it almost to capacity. Five had led her in with a hand on the small of her back and they ended up in the back corner, which Viv didn’t really like since they were packed in so tight. She leaned in closer to Five so she didn’t have to be so close to the other people.

As soon as the doors closed and everyone pushed the buttons to their respective floors, Viv felt Five’s hand on her ass. She turned and gave him a little smile, since that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for him to do. But what he did next certainly was. She stood there while he continued south with his hand, stopping just below the short hemline of her skirt. Then, with a move so smooth she wasn’t sure how he did it, his hand was under the back of her skirt with his fingers sneaking forward between her legs.

Viv let out a loud gasp, then quickly shut her mouth as several people turned to look at her. Five continued sliding his fingers forward until they were perfectly positioned, the slick from her rapidly dampening pussy coating them as he started to gently finger her. Viv tried to step away, but he held her to him with a firm grip on her arm, and he moved her body so that her back was closer to the elevator wall. It obviously wouldn’t take much for anyone near them to realize what was going on. But as with most elevators full of people, it was awkwardly quiet and everyone just stared straight ahead or at the moving floor numbers.

Viv tried to clench her legs together, then she tried to wriggle her way out of his grasp, but neither one of those things worked and Five didn’t let up. As the elevator climbed the floors, stopping periodically to let more people on and off, she started to get more and more turned on. He really was an expert finger fucker, and he knew all the right things to do to drive her crazy.

There were still plenty of people around, although it had thinned out a little. Five pretended like nothing was going on, just staring straight ahead like everyone else. Viv had to close her eyes and bite her lip to hold in the whimpers that were dangerously close to creeping out of her mouth. When Five sank his middle finger inside of her, fucking her with it while also fingering her clit, she couldn’t suppress a moan. When a man started to turn around to look, she coughed loudly to try and cover it up and he turned back towards the doors.

“You’re so close, aren’t you baby? Don’t let anyone hear you.” Five whispered so softly in her ear that it was almost inaudible. But she heard it, and she also felt his lips graze over her ear lobe when he said it.

It wasn’t fair. Five had an entire car to fully unleash himself in before. He didn’t have to be quiet or hold back his orgasm. This was a totally different level of torture; even if Viv was both loving and hating every minute of it.

Finally, after what seemed like the slowest crawling elevator ride in history, the last person got out on the 19th floor. When the doors closed behind them, the long, shaky moan from Vivian echoed through the empty space.

“You fucking bastard,” she panted out before finally breaking free from his grasp on her arm, as well as his hand under her skirt.

Five just smirked proudly and then quickly slammed his fist against the stop button, halting the elevator between floors with a jolt and setting off the alarm. He was back on her in a second, pushing her against the back wall and kissing her hard, one hand on the side of her neck while the other slid back under her skirt. This time he didn’t care about being discreet, and he shoved the front of the skirt up so she was fully exposed for him and he picked up where he left off.

Viv cried into his mouth as he lifted one of her legs up to his waist, holding her under her thigh while he circled her clit over and over again with his hand. His body was pressing into hers and he was breathing hard and fast; kissing her neck while she whined for him.

“Did you like getting fucked under your skirt like that? With everyone around? Knowing you could get caught at any second?” he murmured.

“Fuck, I hate you so much. But yes…oh god…yes I liked it.”

“You better finish up for me, angel. We can’t keep this stopped forever. If these doors open, everyone will see what a horny little slut you are.”

With each heaving breath Viv let out a whimper until he had her completely falling apart; her hands raking through his hair and her head thrown back.

“That’s my girl, keep going,” he urged as he pushed harder and faster.

That was all she could take and then she was yelling much too loudly for no one else to hear, even if they were trapped in there alone with alarm bells blasting. Her cries kept going, too, her body pulsing against Five’s hand as she clutched onto his arms. When she could finally stop, Five pulled away and lowered her skirt for her. The giant grin on his face was incredibly annoying, but Viv could only let out a wheezy laugh as she tried to compose herself again.

“Fuck…”

“Sorry, darling, we don’t have time for that. This will have to suffice until you get home later,” he quipped as he wiped his hand off on his pant leg and then pushed the button to stop the alarm and get the elevator moving again.

They were only one floor away from her stop, and when the doors opened, Viv found herself face to face with several of her co-workers looking very concerned.

“Oh my gosh, Vivian! Are you ok? We heard the alarm and then we thought we heard screaming.”

Five smirked and looked at his wife, cooly leaning with his back against the doors to keep them open for her, his hands shoved in his pants pockets.

Viv smoothed out her skirt and ran a hand down the back of her hair, before faking a laugh and waving a dismissive hand at the group of worried faces.

“Oh, no, I’m fine. It was silly, actually. Five accidentally bumped into the alarm button and it scared me so I screamed. I’m so over dramatic sometimes,” she explained with a self-deprecating eye roll.

That seemed to satisfy everyone well enough, despite some suspicious looks, and they slowly scattered back to their work stations. When they were alone again, Viv turned to Five in a huff.

“I’ve said it before, but you really are an asshole.”

Five grabbed her hand and pulled her into him, holding her around her waist. “Sounded to me like you were having a pretty good time. And you’re always saying how I don’t listen to you. Well, I listened this time. You wanted public sex; I delivered.”

Viv couldn’t really argue with that, so she just shook her head and put her arms around his shoulders. “As much as I enjoyed that little ride you gave my panty hamster back there, consider this war.”

“Panty hamster? What is wrong with you?”

Viv laughed and kissed him before he stepped back on the elevator, still smiling at his crazy but adorable wife while the doors closed between them.

It was a week later when the war continued. They had a deal worked out every month where Viv would let Five drag her off to their small, public library in town and sit there while he pored over old, dusty textbooks of the most boring variety in exchange for him letting her pick out any movie to go see and he had to go along with no complaining. This weekend it was library day.

She hadn’t even been doing anything all that sexual.  Just resting her hand on his leg while he scanned through some old physics textbooks and she leafed through a mystery novel.  It’s not like she’d never rested her hand there before.  Or absent-mindedly stroked her thumb over his thigh.  But for whatever reason, this time, it was getting to Five.  Maybe it was the fact that he was surrounded by books, and the quiet of the library, which he’d always loved.  Or maybe it was weird, suppressed memories of him and Dolores in a similar building, only with fewer walls and less readable options.

Five tried to block it out of his mind, instead concentrating on the long, drawn-out equations and laws of thermo-dynamics.  But he found himself reading the same sentences over and over again, his mind wandering to her hand and the warmth of her skin penetrating the fabric of his pants.  Then his mind wandered even more.  To what he knew her hand felt like on other areas of his body.  Despite the internal battle in his head, visions of her stroking him, hard and fast, while kissing him and biting at his neck were working their way to the forefront. And unfortunately, she had noticed.

“Something wrong there, honey? You look a little flushed,” Viv asked with a smile as she moved her hand further up his thigh.

Five cleared his throat. He really didn’t want her to win this one. “No, I’m fine, thank you.”

After he continued pretending to be engrossed in his book, Viv took it one step further and pushed her palm against the swelling between his legs, rubbing it over the top of his pants. She heard the unmistakable sound of a quiet groan and she jumped a little when he suddenly grabbed her wrist.

“Nice try, angel. You may have me worked up just like you always know how to do, but two can play at this game.”

He held her hand on his crotch while using the other to pull her chair closer to him. A loud screeching noise filled the air as it scraped over the floor and several people looked up to stare. Knowing that Five was trying to embarrass her on purpose, she just smiled over at him and pushed her hand in harder.

It was difficult to keep up the façade, though, when Five was returning the favor by shoving his free hand up the sundress she was wearing and rubbing her over her panties. She sucked in a breath and closed her eyes. When she retaliated with a squeeze and her own rough tug it made him growl deep in his throat.

After a couple minutes of under the table rub and tug, they were both quickly losing their resolve. It didn’t really matter who was going to win anymore.

“What do you say we take this one step further?” Five asked quietly in between ragged breaths.

Viv took a glance around her.  There weren’t many people there, but there were a few.  There was absolutely no way they going to be able to just start fucking without anyone seeing.  And last time she checked, sex in a public setting was still a crime.

“As much as I want to…and believe me I really want to…I don’t think this is the best place for that.”

Five ran a finger inside her underwear and she let out a tiny squeak before shoving her hand down his pants and grabbing hold of his dick. Five jolted in his seat, his knees hitting the underside of the table.

“Fuck, Vivie,” he whispered. “This is happening. I am going to fuck you in this library right here, right now.”

She looked around again and then noticed the quiet reading room in the back. It was used mostly by students for studying but it had several small cubicles with desks for privacy. Perfect.

Viv removed her hand from his pants and pushed his away from her. With a smile she stood up and offered out her hand to him.

“Come on, I have an idea.”

Tugging at the front of his pants, Five looked up at her. “So, I have to walk across the library with a raging hard-on? Thanks a lot.”

“Well, it’s either that or you sit here and wait until it’s gone and your balls are blue as fuck.”

“Fair point. Just try to stay in front of me so I don’t look like some disgusting pervert.”

“You are a disgusting pervert.”

His eyes narrowed at her remark, but he stood up and took her hand while Viv led him to the back room, all while trying to hide his awkward boner from the suspicious eyes of the librarian as they walked past. Once inside the study room they could see there was only one other cubicle occupied. It was by a college-aged student that seemed oblivious to his surroundings and had earbuds shoved in his ears as he tapped the rhythm of the music out on the desk with his pencil.

Viv saw an empty one in the back corner and they hurried over. She pulled her panties off and shoved them into one of Five’s pockets before straddling his thighs. He uncuffed his dress shirt at the wrists and rolled his sleeves up to his elbows like he was going to start in on some major work, before he started undoing his pants. Viv draped her arms over his shoulders, running her fingers softly through his hair and pushing it back over his ear.

“Do you know how impossibly sexy you are?” she asked in between her own quick breaths, trying to keep her voice down. Leaning in close, her lips brushed over his neck. “Sometimes I look at you and I can’t even believe you’re mine.”

“This is supposed to be a quick fuck, you know that right?” he asked as he revealed his straining cock to her.

“So?”

“So, when you say amazingly romantic things like that to me, it makes me want to take my time with you.”

Viv moved further up his lap, adjusting herself carefully, and sank down onto his dick. The quiet moan he let out sounded much louder in the quiet of the reading room. Viv breathed out a soft laugh at his inability to hold back. The skirt of her dress covered them so that at least they weren’t totally exposed, although it was going to be pretty obvious what was going on if someone walked by. She didn’t care about that, though, because all she wanted to do was let Five take over and make her feel good in the way only he knew how.

With her arms wrapped around his shoulders and her chest held tightly to his, her lips found their way to his neck again. With her face pressed into his warm skin, she closed her eyes and breathed in, convinced that he must emit some type of pheromone that was made specifically for her. She imagined this invisible chemical compound drifting out of his pores, being driven by his bounding jugular pulse, and going directly to the unevolved part of her brain that was activated only by pure sexual impulse. Because there was no way anyone else in the world would be able to turn her on as completely as Five did, just on scent alone.

“Can’t I tell you nice things and still want you to fuck me senseless?” she purred.

The answer came in the form of Five roughly pushing her hips down and forward, using his strength to pump her body back and forth on top of him, despite what he had said about wanting to take his time.

Viv whimpered softly next to his ear and she could hear the sexy grunting noises he was making under his breath as he thrust her aggressively over his cock. Her body was being driven exclusively by his strength, with his fingers digging into her hips and ass; the muscles in his forearms straining as he worked hard and fast. The chair started to creak with the movement and the legs thumped and scraped on the floor.

“Someone’s going to hear us,” she whispered, her breath catching in her throat.

“I don’t care,” Five answered, looking her in the eyes while his hair fell over his own.

Viv bit her lip to suppress a moan and she smiled at him. “What would you do if we got caught?”

“They can watch all they want. But nothing is going to stop me from Fucking. You.”

His last two words were accentuated with more forceful thrusts, slamming her down so hard that the chair was loudly shoved backwards.

“Do more of that, please Five,” she begged, knowing he couldn’t resist doing anything that drove her crazy like that.

Five gritted his teeth and continued to pound her body into his, the hot sleeve of her cunt sliding tightly over his dick faster and faster until he was sure neither one of them were going to hold on much longer. The chair underneath him was complaining loudly and Five tried to quiet it by bracing them with his foot against the floor, the sole of his expensive Oxford leaving black scuff marks on the faded linoleum as his heel skittered across.

Viv’s hands were in his hair and the back of his neck as she desperately tried to muffle her cries into his shoulder. She could feel her clit banging into his pubic bone over and over again until she was dangerously close to coming. She should have been in a hurry, trying to speed things up and will herself to finish so that they wouldn’t get caught. But the more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea of it. She wanted someone to hear. She wanted someone to see.

“You feel so good like this. I want everyone to see, too. Let them see how good you fuck me; that I’m the only one that gets to touch you. I’m the only one that gets to ride your dick. Let them watch while you make me come, just for you, Five.”

“Jesus, Vivie…” he moaned into her hair. “If you say one more thing like that, I’m going to-”

“Come on, baby; let this whole library know how Number Five Hargreeves fucks his wife,” she groaned next to his ear with a smile.

“Oh, fuuuck, yes!” he growled much too loudly, throwing his head back and digging his fingers into her waist while they both climaxed together.

Viv startled and put her hand over his mouth, but it was too late. There was no way in hell no one had heard that.

“Five!” she scolded half-heartedly in between heaving breaths. She was already trying to climb off of him on stiff and cramped legs. “What the hell?”

“Sorry, Vivie,” he panted, helping her to stand up. “You did ask for it, though.”

Once she fixed her dress again and looked back over, she saw he was smiling, not even giving a shit that he had alerted half the library. Viv risked a quick peek over the cubicle wall and by some miracle there didn’t appear to be anyone around. She may have talked a big game during the heat of the moment, but she hadn’t really wanted to endure the humiliation of getting caught.

She leaned her butt against the desk, trying to catch her own breath as she shook her head at him, watching as he nonchalantly zipped up his pants again. He passed a hand through his hair and looked up at her, somehow managing to look even more handsome than usual.

“How do you manage to do that to me?”

“What do I do?”

“Make me fall in love with you over and over again.”

Five laughed softly, looking slightly embarrassed. “Only you would turn a quick, public fuck session into a romantic date.”

After they smoothed their clothes and hair out as much as possible, and their underpants were back where they were supposed to be, they emerged from their little cubicle. They only got about ten steps out, though, when they were stopped in their tracks by a very stern and irritated librarian who blocked their path with her hands on her hips.

“I would like you both to know that we do not take these shenanigans lightly, and I have alerted the police who will be here shortly. As I’m sure you are quite aware, there are laws against indecent exposure and lewd public acts.”

Viv didn’t know what to say or do, except for turning beet red and looking at her feet. But Five just flashed the lady his best innocent smile.

“Actually, there was no indecent exposure. We made sure to keep it classy.”

The librarian huffed loudly and pointed a finger in Five’s face. “Now, listen here, you…you…hooligan! I am used to having to remind the teenagers to behave in here, but you are two grown adults. It’s disgraceful! You should be ashamed of yourselves!”

As Viv stood there, trying to decide if she should laugh or not while continuing to stare at the floor, the kid that had been studying at one of the other cubicles got up to leave, but stopped in front of Five on his way out, a big grin on his face. He offered out his hand for a fist bump.

“Dude, way to go, that was awesome. Seriously, best study session ever.” His eyes roamed over Vivian. “Whoa, she’s hot, too.”

Ignoring the other guy’s attempt at male bonding, Five put his arm protectively around Viv’s waist and pulled her against his hip. With another heart-melting smirk that had her trying not to laugh again, he raised his eyebrows at her. Viv could feel the tell-tale staticky sensation vibrate against her body as Five was already flexing his hands.

“Ready to leave, darling?”

Viv nodded with a smile. “Yep.”

“Tell the cops we said hi,” Five snarked just before opening one of his convenient portals and jumping them both out of there.

They landed slightly off from his intended mark in the parking lot, Viv’s back slamming into their car door. Post-orgasm blinks were always a bit trickier for him.

“Ow!” she cried.

“Sorry, are you ok?”

Vivie nodded, rubbing her back but still smiling. “Nice one, by the way. Poor lady, though. At least she’ll have something to talk about at her next knitting circle.”

Five laughed. “I don’t think they talk about lewd public acts in knitting circles. At least not hers, I’m guessing. But I’m pretty happy that I got called a hooligan. That’s a new one.”

As they both got into the car and Five started it up, he turned to his wife, with her messy hair and flushed cheeks, and smiled.

“So, where should we plan our next little adventure?”

“Next adventure? Uh-oh, I got you addicted to being a sex criminal now, didn’t I?”

He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss. “I think it’s more like I’m just addicted to you, angel.”

“See? There you go again, being annoyingly sexy and making me fall in love with you again.”

A cop car pulled in, and Five drove quickly out of there, one hand on the wheel and the other on her leg. He gave her bare thigh a squeeze as he turned out into traffic. “As long as you keep feeling that way, Vivie, consider me one very happy and lucky man.”

Link to my Master List

[hoverboards-and-dragons]

My Hazbin Archangels;

Asks about them are more than Welcome

These are very developed OCs so at this point I need to make masterpost for how my interpretation of them works

Listing I'm using is;

Lucifer, Michael, Raphael, Uriel, Gabriel, Jophiel, Zadkiel |__________________| |___________| |__________________| ^ ^ ^ Elder Sister syndrome, Forgotten middle children, family babies

I don't include Azrael mostly cause weirdly intense and underappreciated job are covered by Michael and Lucifer and I feel it would undermine both of their supposed isolation, you can only have so many outcasts and loners in a group of seven that are also a team.

Yes I did make up all the titles based vaguely on translations and mythological roles, it felt weird for just Luci to have something like "the morningstar"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Originally called Angels of Creation or Heirs of the Almighty; they were uniquely Imbued with powers of Creation and raised as His own offspring. (He kinda had to there was nothing else)

Each was hatched in tandem with a realm they were charged with overseeing the development of; in line with the Seven Days of Creation.

Later these seven were named the Archangels and designated the highest authorities within Heaven; however most their duties are distant from the rest of Heaven's hierarchy, the most involved they get is in delivering commands, as God is rarely willing to talk to anyone other than them.

While they were all hatched over the course of a single week, the order was still very important as it defined the chain of command; so much so that the oldest two were called twins just cause they were equal in power. (practically speaking, they're all septuplets)

They all call each other brother, only three have genders, only two are men and Luci's mostly doing it as a bit. They can be a child, a kid, a hatchling, or a fledgling of God but never a son or daughter, isn't gender fun?

Day 1: Lucifer

‘Let there be light’

Lucifer(he/him); the Morningstar, Herald of Creation. The fallen one the brother below Made to be incapable of worship so he could never be satisfied with God's perfection alone and would seek out other paths to take creation.

(which does count as a neurodivergency, angels are inherently creatures of worship)

He'd find flaws in his brothers' realms and expand them into something entirely unique. He was less in charge of anything and more excluded from the control of anyone else. He also regularly got into arguments with their Father for shits and giggles, giving his very reverent brothers fucking heart attacks. (they assumed he was allowed to do this because he was the favourite and not perhaps the other way around)

Day 2: Michael

"the Heavens are separated from the Earth",

Michael(he/it); the Divineblade, Archangel of Law and Truth, Highest of All Angels, Charged with the creation of the Heavens and all other angels.

Most devoted to the Father's will; Chronic workaholic and quite resentful of his own personhood, all he wants is to be God's perfect tool but he keeps having feelings. Well-respected as a leader by his siblings; relentlessly bullied by them (out of love) as a brother for being unable to comprehend 'outgrowing their first intended purpose'. Hes got a famous polite stoic demeanour that's equally infamous for being broken by Lucifer's anything and nothing else. He is getting steadily worse at his job and its going to break him any day now.

Day 3: Raphael

"the waters are gathered, the earth brings forth life"

Raphael(all/they); the Healingspur, Archangel of Life, Keeper of Balance, Charged with the creation of the seas and vegetation.

Mediator of the twins' constant arguments, most consistent voice of reason in any room; Michael's right hand and the only reason he remembers to eat(they don't need to but its good for them). Gentle and controlled but also quite stern. Very strong sense of empathy that is systematically destroying them as they face others on their worse days over and over again. They are the most aware of how Lucifer absence is tearing each of their brothers apart and how unwilling anyone is to even acknowledge it; they have pretty much resigned themselves to the approaching all-out breakdown, there's not much a healer can do before the injury.

Day 4: Uriel

"the sky is filled with signs of days, months, season and years"

Uriel(all/they); the Aflameword, Archangel of Knowledge, keeper of the sun, stars and archives, Charged with the creation of constellations and planets.

Likes things quiet and tidy. Ordinarily quite reserved; preferring to keep to themselves, focus on documenting and organizing and simply observe the others. But unwilling to be resigned, has stepped up as the only one willing to call Michael on his bullshit, like refusing to officially promote Raph to second in command despite them already taking up all of Lucifer old duties; and even hesitantly but directly questioning their Father on some things, which is a lot for any of them. Has an arrogance streak, doesn't enjoy reminders of what they don't know; especially that they are just as in the dark about God's big plan as anyone else.

Day 5: Gabriel

"the earth is filled with creatures"

Gabriel(all/they); the Herocue, Archangel of Order, Keeper of progress, Charged with the creation of creatures and their instincts.

Gabe is a somewhat of a Hermes figure, Michael’s left hand. Quick and always eager to provide their services to anyone who asks; especially known for getting last minute tasks down for Michael. Their wings buzz like a hummingbird at the speeds they fly. Always set on efficiency with a reputation for being deadly serious but is secretly bit of a prankster. A gremlin when they get their mind set on something and will regularly startle others out by clinging to walls or ceilings. In charge of most of heaven’s military and had A bit of a complex about being weaker than Michael despite being the soldier of the seven.

Additional; a Channel suited for Him also sometimes called a sockpuppet, they can be possessed as God's vessel to act as his direct body and voice (without the negative repercussions to their body and mind or discomfort to Him other angels or creations would cause)

Day 6: Jophiel

humans are brought forth as caretakers of the earth

Jophiel(she/her); the Ribbondance, Archangel of Passion, Keeper of Beauty, Charged with the creation of humanity

Highlight of every room she enters, quick-witted and an equal to Gabe, even a challenge to Michael on the battlefield. Always up for a good challenge, puzzle or debate. An open prankster, Gabriel is her hidden accomplice. Will defend the potential of humanity to her last breath, a more and more controversial stand; she's pretty upset at never getting to finish her masterpiece since she lost a lot of control of mankind once free will was introduced, she still tries to influence them probably more than she's really technically allowed. Knows about politics.

Day 7: Zadkiel

creation was finished, and the day was blessed

Zadkiel(all/they); the Righteouspeace, Archangel of Grace, Keeper of the Holy day, Charged with miracles and blessings.

Detached, muted and kinda smug but well meaning. They try but they don't really know how to interact with those of their equals. Their devotion rivals Michael’s but they’re quieter. Insecurity about having such an unclear purpose next to the other seven has let them entirely give themselves over to faith. If it happens, Father means it. Spends by far the most amount of time on earth(Gabriel is a distant second) and has strong opinions on every individual sect of Christianity and how they build their churches. They are continually surprised by how out of touch their brothers and rest of Heaven is to the religion that worships them, come on guys at least Our Brother Down Under has an excuse.

Additional; also a Channel suited for Him

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The youngest three are very close on account of being shut up out of important arguments and being left to gossip upon themselves

Michael tries really hard to convince himself Lucifer is The Enemy (he can't live with the alternative) but the other five are of the opinion "He transgressed, he got punished, still being angry at this point is just petty" and still want to be in his life. However, they still don't really get what he was trying to do, Lucifer is also hung up on how none of them came to check on him.

He didn't see any of them for 5 000 years and when he did it was Michael holding a sword to his throat and demanding to know why he was on earth.

From Luci's perspective; the fall very nearly killed him and only didn't because the Sins found him before he bled out; it was then years of painful recovery that never quite healed right. It wasn't like there was anything in hell that could hold a candle to the power of an Archangel, he would know. There was nothing stopping them, he was always there for them when they needed him, but when he was scared and hurt, they just abandoned him.

From their perspective; archangels were, and still are, assumed unkillable, and practically indestructible. This was the first time Father had ever punished like this before and they were terrified. No one was willing to risk it now that Falling was on the table; now that they saw He absolutely was willing to sacrifice His children for the Plan, whatever it was.

[tamelee]

i just saw a posts about novels that went like

sarada told sasuke he has lipstick stain, sasuke tries to wipes it off and she says he doesn't have one and sakura doesn't wear lipstick.

how do they defend this novels with their lives? it confirms sasuke never kisses sakura and doesn't know if she wears lipstick or not and kisses someone else who wears lipstick. it also confirms naruto likes to wear lipstick XD.

Please. These novels are ridiculous. Kishimoto already confirmed they’ve never kissed in Gaiden. Twice. 

(* something nicer = meant the forehead poke)

Though I wouldn't believe anyone if they said they actually like these novels, because the story (or lack thereof) is complete shit, but it’s fine if they do. A good story isn't the intention unfortunately. I genuinely wish that people understood what exactly it is they are defending. I’m writing a post for someone who asked something regarding canon, but I need to take brakes from it because it pisses me off that this happens constantly to franchises— not just Naruto. 

And in this case it’s even worse, or perhaps it’s just a prime example, because Jun Esaka (writer for some of these novels) made such a fool of herself on twt by making it all too obvious what her intentions were by writing them. (If it wasn’t already obvious.) First, when people pointed out the many flaws, she admitted that it’s “just her story” and “just her interpretation” (she had only read 'Naruto' for the first time a few months before that), but when other ss-shippers started to defend her and said she was a better writer than Kishimoto (as there’s 0 love between SS when he writes), she basked in that glory and went along with it. Even to the point that she completely disrespected Kishimoto, the story, the craft, openly made fun of other characters (mostly Hinata) and ships like NH and demanded her other novels to be animated as well. It’s unprofessional af. And then when fans asked her for a nsfw novel for SS she agreed and told them to harass the company about it. (She didn’t say ‘harass’ exactly, but come on you can’t be that dense given their reputation with staff.)

What are they defending? 

How can you defend anything when the motive is so obviously just personal bias/gain and/or financial profit to a company where both in this case don’t give a shit about the original story. It's not about shipping though, it happens all the damn time to all my favorite franchises and I'm genuinely sick of it. And it's not even about a writer writing about what they want either because I already expected that, but Esaka did her absolute best to try and disprove the bond between Naruto and Sasuke and change narratives completely even for individual cases for the sake of telling her "story". SNS-moments weren’t romantic to her and she quite literally made fun of it by copying them in her story to point out its "irrelevance", but give them to her het-ship and now all of a sudden it is romantic???? She basically calls Kishimoto a liar because ‘Sasuke Retsuden’ in particular is a direct response to ‘Gaiden’ (made by Kishimoto). She blatantly tried to disprove anything he said and indicated about her ship. She wrote about characters that, yes, have the same name as those in ‘Naruto’, but are so out of character it hurts. It took me months to recover my lost braincells. 

I don't think my post about it is still up, but to name a few things in that novel if you're interested: Sasuke resents Naruto and his test-tube daughter because he’d rather travel with Sakura, his wife whom he loves so much. But he has to do stuff just because Hokage Naruto said so and his daughter wants to stay in Konoha so he has no choice but to comply. Being apart from his wife-(did we mention he loves her so much? because he does. so much.)- makes him feel so very lonely and he misses her body so much because he knows it so well. He fails to do anything other than being jealous about the women-deprived prisoners going after the new hot doctor, Sakura, who is his wife btw. that he loves a lot in case you missed it. and he rather stares at trees that remind him of her than helping his friend Naruto who’s apparently dying from his own chakra or whatever kind of bs. Sasuke lets himself be bullied by prison-guards that aren’t even Shinobi, for having long hair and looking like a girl, though Esaka makes sure to mention how so very handsome he is and he looks like a cat. Sasuke loses a battle against an overgrown lizard and tries the same damn jutsu 4 times(!!!!) before realizing it may actually not work, I think because he forgot how to fight, but he can however create anything from ice like Elsa (Frozen), or from dirt like some Gaara-hybrid to make Sakura a ring because he loves her so much ofc… oh and he’s now a healer too. Sasuke sacrifices people’s lives even when it’s not necessary at all bc ig Esaka thinks he's a killer, and also he wouldn’t mind being brought back with Edo Tensei if it means he can stay with Sakura, because fuck everything they’ve been through in the original story, yeah? They also immediately forgive the bad guy cuz he's so relatable even though he just murdered I dunno how many people. SS kiss while an injured Naruto is squished in between them because SS-shippers have some sort of “Naruto has to watch our ship being in love to really make it legit because that’ll learn him for getting in between!”-kink (that's real actually) and according to Esaka, Sasuke is so worried about his daughter and in fact did meet up with them during those 10+ years because he loves them oh-so-much and fuck you Kishimoto that’s why. 

Be so fr right now. It’s such a joke. And these are just the few things on the top of my head that I remembered ;-; ...

Again, what are they defending exactly? It would be nice to just have a genuine fan of the story write an actual story. No other motive other than "I really like the story and would love to explore some options while respecting Kishimoto's work because it'd be fun!" Except, that's unfortunately not very marketable and ffs it's just sad. (I know there's a Kakashi version and I personally really want to know more about his role as Hokage and what he's done etc, but alas.)

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Like Phil, I’d like to think that Jamie and Keeley still go to Brazil, in spite of the boys’ recent fuck-up, but I’d also like to think that Roy comes with them. Not because Jamie and Keeley can’t be friend on their own or wouldn’t have the best time doing Brazil together – they would! – but because I think Jamie might be conscious, given everything that’s gone down recently, of potentially upsetting what he currently perceives as a rather delicate balance.   

Maybe he brings it up a few days later before they head over to Keeley’s for a joint apology, or maybe it happens already at the holy kebab place, once they’ve had a few bites and a chance to settle back into their normal; a little worse for wear, but with no lasting harm done.

And Jamie fiddles with his sleeves and makes little faces as he tries to decide what to say (and Roy notices and waits with some trepidation) and in the end he just comes right out and says it, because that’s what Jamie does, isn’t it?

“I asked Keeley to go to Brazil with me, for that Nike thing I’m doing.”

Roy blinks. He hadn’t known Jamie was doing a Nike thing. Jamie might have told him, but Roy usually stops listening whenever he starts blathering on about brands and clothes and shit, so yeah, if told he hadn’t heard.

“What did she say?” he asks after a slightly too long and awkward moment of Jamie looking up at him, almost through his fucking eyelashes, trying to gauge his reaction.

“She said yes.” And hastily, as if worried what Roy might say or do if given a moment to, he adds: “I didn’t do it to try to get back together or anything. I mean, I do wanna get back together and she’s my friend and I love her and I thought we’d have a great time, yeah, but also, she’s great at PR and all that stuff, so. Yeah. That’s why I asked her to come. Make sure I don’t fuck it up.”

And because you want her to be your girlfriend. Roy doesn’t say it, though. Neither of them want a repeat of what went down at the bar. This isn’t Jamie trying to goad him or hurt him, he’s pretty fucking sure of that, so he’ll listen carefully to everything Jamie has to say, and then he’ll react like a fucking grown-up.

Probably. Possibly.

“Anyway, I think you should, like, come with us.”

Fucking what now? “What?”

“You should come with me and Keeley to Brazil.” Jamie is nodding his head decisively, as if repeating the statement has fully convinced him of its veracity.

“You want me to come with you and Keeley to fucking Brazil?” Roy is aware of sounding like a demented parrot, but he doesn’t give a fuck, does he, because he doesn’t want there to be any fucking room for misinterpretation here.

Jamie doesn’t seem particularly concerned about Roy’s tone. Too used to it, probably. “Um, yeah. Yeah. I mean, probably can’t get Nike to pay for it, right, but you’re rich, so you can just get your own ticket and you can stay with me and Keeley in this villa they’ll set us up in. Can’t mind that.”

Which all sounds very reasonable, of course, but still doesn’t answer the most pressing question:  “Why?”

Jamie makes a face. “What do you mean, why? Because I don’t want shit to be weird between us, mate. And I think it’d be weird if Keeley and I went away and you stayed here after what happened, you know. Besides,” he adds, and suddenly he looks slightly shy; younger than he actually is, and vulnerable, “It’d probably be fun, yeah? All three of us going, together. Because we’re friends and all.”

And there’s something sharp and jagged turning in Roy’s gut at that, because underneath Jamie’s claim there’s a note of uncertainty that Roy had no trouble whatsoever guessing the origin of, and he adds it to the long list of things he hates himself for.

He doesn’t know how to express any of that, so what he says is, “Yeah. I guess. I’ll think about it.”

Jamie’s grin is immediate and wide; relieved and triumphant in equal measure, like he’s already won – like he already knows for a fact that Roy’s going to say yes.

Roy can’t even find it in him to mind that the little prick is right.

And then they all go to Brazil and I’m currently thinking that nothing further really happened between them there, because apparently they all need to do a little more thinking and feeling and figuring themselves out, but I’m sure they still had a grand, grand time of it.

[sparrowsortadrawzzz]

LEMME JUST RANT ABOUT URINETOWN FOR A SECOND NOW THAT MY ROLE IS OVER CUZ ITS SO GOOD-

see the crazy thing about urinetown is the paralells. like, we don't see Hope as this master manipulator, yet...she is???? she went to the most expensive university in the world for it?????

it first occurs in follow your heart, she practically plays with his feelings to get him to like her back (see her validating his feelings and using the "Why, my heart was saying the same thing just the other day!!" card), and from there, yes, the two are genuine, but you gotta admit, in follow your heart is she does use a bit of a persuasive direction.

then we see her manipulate again in the end when she leads the poor to UGC headquarters and. yknow. kills everyone 💀 she eventually becomes worse that her father by denying them any other option than. die from lack of basic needs, and leads their demise. ALSO SHE COULDVE AT LEAST LISTENED TO THE RESEARCH?? CONTINUED IT??? AND SAVED EVERYONE LIKE BOBBY AND CALDWELL WANTED?????? anyways-

also, Caldwell and Bobby were the same at one point. they had to have been. a poor boy in the midst of crisis has dreams to help the people of his community, so he rises up with the support of his people, and becomes a martyr...sounds like two people, doesn't it?

ALSO², PENNY AND CALDWELL ARE SO TRAGIC????? this young woman (who is perhaps a prostitute just to get by) and (probably) poor boy are in love, and once the water table drops and keeps dropping, they take a chance to give into their feelings and have their night together, which leads to their daughter Hope being born, and once that happens Caldwell has possibly already started his revolution, company, and rise to the top. so he takes their daughter (possibly so that she doesn't have to go through what he went through as a child), makes her promise to never tell Hope who she is, and becomes this hard, cold shell of a man he used to be, becoming someone Penny doesn't even recognize anymore. she doesn't love Cladwell, she loves Caldwell, the dreamer who once cared for all the people. and that's probably why she calls him such, to try and get her beloved back.

also erm lockstock how dare you just reject barrel like that-

HARRY AND BECKY ARE TOGETHER???? AND ARE ACTUALLY RABID??????? couple goals <33 /j

who tf is tiny tom, like, is he Harry and Becky's kid????

im obsessed with imagining what Penny and Caldwell were like before UGC

REMEMBER WHEN OUR NIGHT WERE STARRY????

arent you sorry..? (translation: "Are you sorry about loving and listening to me?")

..sure, I'm sorry.. (translation: "You probably want me to say I'm sorry for loving you because you no longer love me, and regret me.")

im not sorry.. (translation: "I STILL FUCKING LOVE YOU AGHHH-")

JUUUST UNNNNSOUNDDDD (translation: "WE STILL LOVE EACH OTHER AND NOW ONE OF US HAS TO DIE-")

all the original broadway cast photos are 2001 crunchy 😭

HAIL MALTHUS

making fun of and calling out the government and twisted cops >:)

the harmonies make me wanna ascend

okay that's all for now 💀💀💀

[lucky-bishova-42]

Hi(gh) Mama!

(oneshot that takes place anytime after Chapter 32 in Malen’kiy Yastreb)

If you asked Yelena how today was gonna go, she wouldn’t in a million years have guessed this.

It all started when Sonya had come over to visit the apartment the night before.

And let’s just say she brought some fun brownies over for her and Yelena to enjoy while they hung out.

What Yelena neglected to remember, before going to bed, was to label or move the leftover brownies.

Which led to this.

“Oh blyad!! Kate don’t eat those!!” Yelena cries as she watches Kate take a bite out of said brownies.

“What? Why?” Kate puts the rest of the brownie down.

“You didn’t eat any more of those, have you??” Yelena asks urgently.

“Just one other one right before this one, why? Are they for something specific?” Kate starts to get concerned.

“Der’mo! You had a whole one?”

“Yes!” Kate replies exasperatedly, “Now are you gonna tell me why its such an issue that I had one?”

“Those aren’t regular brownies, Kate. They are weed brownies,” Yelena sighs.

Kate’s eyes go wide as she looks down at the sweet treat she is still holding.

“Holy shit,” Kate says, realizing the situation.

“Yup.”

“Mama and Mom are gonna kill us.”

“Yes. Well, probably not you since it isn’t really your fault. But me, for sure.”

—————————————————————————

*about two hours later*

“Do you ever think about how if you never truly let your car’s tank get empty, that there might be a molecule of the original gas solution still in the car?” Kate ponders as she sits upside-down on the couch.

“No… but I think it is safe to say that the edible has finally kicked in,” Yelena replies, “What time are your parents going to be home?”

“Huh,” Kate pauses for a second, ignoring Yelena’s question in favor of staring at the dust on the light fixtures, “we should really start cleaning the ceiling… maybe Peter could help.”

“Kate,” Yelena snaps her fingers in front of Kate’s face, “focus!”

“Oh sorry,” Kate chuckles, turning herself upright, “I feel reeeeeeaaaaally spacey right now… how long does this normally last?”

“Well, you basically had one and a half… and you are smaller than me… and Sonya makes them kinda strong…”

“Lena…”

“Maybe a few hours,” Yelena reluctantly supplies, “possibly the rest of the night—“

“THE REST OF THE NIGHT?!?”

“Shh, calm down, malen’kaya ptichka,” Yelena puts her hands on Kate’s shoulders, “we will figure this out. Now, what time will your parents be home?”

“In within the hour,” Kate says, looking at the clock.

“Der’mo,” Yelena curses, takes a deep breath, “Okay, listen. This is what we are gonna do. We are just gonna pretend that you are extra tired and want to go to bed early; that way you can hide out in your room til you come back down.”

“I dunno Auntie Lena,” Kate frowns slightly, “lying to Mama is never a good idea; she always knows when I am lying. Plus, Mom can literally read minds.”

“It will just be for a few hours,” Yelena says, “plus, it’s not like it will be a full lie; I bet soon you will start to feel tired anyways.”

Kate looks at Yelena skeptically.

“Please, Kate,” Yelena pleads, “If your mothers find out they will kill me.”

Kate sighs, “Fine. But I make no promises.”

And Kate really tries to calm down and try to relax. She does.

But something about the specific strain that was laced in the brownies makes her slightly anxious and her already short attention span even shorter.

About twenty minutes later, she finds herself unable to stop bouncing her knee while her brain starts to run rampant with all of her irrational fears; specifically those fears that surround getting punished.

“I don’t think I can do this, Lena,” Kate trembles.

Yelena looks up from her phone to focus on a very anxious Kate.

“We should just come clean right away. They are gonna be so pissed. But maybe if we tell them it’s an accident they will go easy on us,” Kate’s trembling gets worse, and her eyes start to water.

“Hey—hey, Kate, look at me,” Yelena gently takes Kate’s chin and gets her to meet her eye line, “You are not in trouble. It was an accident. If your parents are gonna be mad at anyone, they will be mad at me,” Yelena wipes a single tear that escaped Kate’s eye, “okay?”

Kate nods and hugs Yelena, who tightens her arms around her as they cuddle on the couch.

“I still don’t like how I feel right now,” Kate announces after a moment, “my body feels heavy but my brain is moving too fast.”

“Ah, I get it, malen’kaya ptichka,” Yelena reaches over and grabs the remote, “I think I have an idea of what might help.”

—————————————————————————

Thirty minutes later, Wanda and Natasha walk into the apartment to find a very giggly Kate sitting on the couch with Yelena watching what seems to be one of those toddler sensory videos.

“Um…hello?” Natasha says cautiously as she walks towards the back of the couch.

Kate turns around with a goofy smile and a dazed look on her face, “Yay! Mama’s home!”

“Yeah…” Natasha replies slowly as she looks back and forth between her daughter and her sister, confused at what is going on, “I am home.”

“Come sit, Mama! Auntie Lena found the best tv show!” Kate cheers, patting the seat next to her.

At this point, Wanda had also joined them in the living room and was also very confused, and maybe slightly concerned, about what was going on.

Natasha goes and sits next to Kate on the couch. Once she sits down, Kate immediately snuggles into her side then looks up at her.

“Hi Mama!” Kate smiles.

“Hi baby—”

“Wow! Your hair looks extra red today!” Kate reaches out and begins to play with a strand.

Natasha is confused.

Don’t get her wrong, Kate is a very cuddly person, and is always a little bit more open and relaxed when snuggled with her Mama or Mom, but this seems a little over the top.

Natasha briefly looks over to Wanda, who shrugs her shoulders, before looking down at her daughter.

Natasha raises her eyebrow, but goes along with it, “it does?”

“Mm-hm!” Kate hums happily, and smiles again back up at her Mama, “like a fire truck!”

And that’s when Natasha sees Kate’s red-tinted eyes, and everything clicks.

Her eyes widen, and she whips her head up to look at her sister who looks very guilty all of a sudden.

“Is Kate… high?” she asks Yelena in a measured tone, as she starts to glare at her.

Yelena avoids Natasha’s glare and pauses before letting out a small, “maybe…”

“You got my daughter high?!?” Natasha basically growls, causing Kate to jump in her arms.

“How can you be so irresponsible?!” Wanda adds in.

“It was an accident!!” Yelena defends herself, “I forgot to put the brownies away after last night.”

“How many times have I told you to label them?!?” Natasha shouts back.

“It’s not my fault I forgot—”

“Stop fighting!” They hear a teary Kate interject.

Natasha looks down to see an upset Kate with tears running down her face.

“Oh malyshka,” Natasha pulls her in close, “it’s okay.”

“It was just an accident,” Kate sniffles, “it wasn’t Lena’s fault.”

Natasha looks at Wanda then at Yelena, and after a brief pause, decides to talk more to Yelena about this later to not further upset Kate. So she looks down at Kate with a soft smile, “I suppose you’re right. It could’ve happened to anyone… It was just an accident.”

Kate returns the smile and cuddles deep into Natasha’s arms before turning her attention back to the tv, where there are still smiling fruit bouncing around to happy music.

After a few minutes, she starts to giggle again, pointing out to her parents and aunt what things are the funniest.

Soon Natasha, Wanda, and Yelena can’t help but laugh along with Kate.

“Alright, I know this is a big accident,” Yelena whispers over to Natasha and Wanda, “but you have to admit, it’s kinda hilarious.”

Wanda and Natasha chuckle.

“You might be right,” Wanda smiles looking down at a half awake, half giggling Kate.

“Remind me tomorrow to explain to her that this won’t be happening again until she is at least 18," Natasha says.

“Oh believe me,” Yelena chuckles, “I don’t think you will have an issue there.”

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

I really love you're writing💞

I would really like to ask a request(if you don't mind,I hope you don't,everyone's been ignoring me😭)Obey me brothers reacting to a Mileena Mc from Mortal Kombat.If you don't know Mileena than It's ok.

Obey me brothers reacting to a maneater or femme fatale Mc with her playful,blood thirsty and powerhungry personality.

I hope I didn't bother you.Have a nice day,Ty🥰

Mileena Reader | Yandere Obey Me!

To say you're eccentric is an understatement. You brandish your sai(s) with ease, when you're not wearing the uniform your wearing your typical tight-fitting assassin attire. You often keep a mask on your face only ever revealing it when you feel your getting too attached:

“You scared of me, boys?”

Lucifer

“I’m sure you’d like it if I was.”

He’s genuinely worried 

Not about his brothers about you

He sees you often put up this act of confidence gained by scaring others or tricking them

In the rare moments he sees you, the real you, he wants the moment to last forever

“(Y/n) I love you for you.”

“Even with a face like this?”

“Especially with a face like this.”

“You’re a fool, then I could eat you alive if I willed it.”

“I’d let you.”

“Pftt whatever.”

He knows you put up a front and he doesn’t mind

But he wants the real you

So he kind of backs you up even when your crossing lines left and right

“Ahhhh Lucifer that human transfer actually tried to cut me!”

“I see.”

“Are you going to do something!” 

“It means she likes you…don’t get too cozy though.”

“Oh, Maaaammmoooonn?”

“Ahhhhhh.”

Mammon

“I-I am not!”

He’s certainly not lying

But he is the first to go from running from you to shyly turning on his back for you

Scary and loving are closer than you’d think for the avatar of greed

He knows you play him like a fiddle

Changing your playful voice to something warmer when you cuddle into him

Before switching back to your playful side again

“Now come on Mammon don’t you want this amulet? It's worth what again?”

“I-its priceless! A-a fashion time-piece that is going to sell for thousands no millions.”

“Then. Come. And. Get. It.”

“B-but you p-put it in your–next to your–”

“Are you rejecting my offer?”

“No! I’m coming!”

He’s the puppy you love to chase around and pulling on his leash is a part of the fun

Even when you reveal your face he’s not as phased as you’d hope

“Eh, I’ve seen worse.”

Take that as you will but he’s fighting anyone with something to say

“Oi. Don’t you dare talk about my human! If you do it’ll cost you.”

Leviathan

“Y-yes b-but will you do that voice of that character I like?”

Similar to Mammon you scare him and make him feel amazing

Somehow you show up in his room when he’s locked the door

Laying in his tub/bed when he goes to end the day

But he loves it more than he’d like to admit when you do step on him

Or tease him

You remind of a character from a battle game he plays

A Scarleena from Immortal Combat

“I’ve never heard of such a thing…are you enamored by her?”

“Well duh, I wouldn’t have bought her limited edition figurine model if I wasn’t.”

“Then do you like her more than me?”

“Uh-uh n-n-no. Y-your hands–ack–t-touching me!”

“Good. I was starting to think you would have hated me. Won’t you show me how much you care?”

“O-okay! Y-yes!”

He’s not as reliant on you as Mammon but he still relays how he feels about you when you play

“You look just like that character!”

“Levi.”

“Sorry, b-but I still think you are pretty…for a real-life, anyway.”

“Ara ara and I thought you were only into 2-D?”

*blushing fiercely* “W-well I can make an exception…only cause it's you.”

Satan

“Hardly.”

He’s intrigued by you

He’s not on the run from you but he certainly doesn’t understand you at first

You are his newest investigation

“So you're interested in knowing about me?”

“Yes. Any siblings?”

“Ugh yes, but I’d sooner kill her than see her again.”

“Well, we might have more in common than I originally thought.”

He’s right your help in his pranks against his brother is greatly appreciated

And he finds himself smitten when he sees you past your playful power-hungry actions

“(Y/n)...did you truly think I’d no longer be interested in you after seeing your face?”

“It’s not a bizarre thought, for you.”

“Then you must not know me well enough, dear.”

“Oh? Are you doubting that I know who I’m speaking to?”

“No. I’m doubting how thoroughly you investigated. Especially with a subject as willing as I.”

“Then don’t mind if I do.”

“Go ahead. I promise to be gentle.”

Asmodeus

“Oya? I’ll be really scared if you pin me now!” 

So dramatic it almost throws you off 

But on the best of days you both keep each other on your toes

“Promiscuous as always, Asmodeus?”

“You know it, darling! Now about showing me what’s under that mask…”

“Didn’t I tell you? I’d eat you if you saw.”

“But that’s exactly what I want!”

“I think there's been a misunderstanding.”

Now unlike the others who either don’t care or don’t mind Asmodeus does

“Oh…oh…my that is awfully….gnarly.”

“See. Now that you’ve seen I will–”

“Now hold on, don’t misunderstand you will always be pretty because it's you….but we need to figure out how kissing is going to work…hmm.”

“I see no reason to discuss something so pointless.”

“Nonsense, it should probably be fine if we stole the pair from that one model…it’d be convenient for the upcoming make-up launch.”

“Violence?”

“Yup!”

Beelzebub

*Munch Munch* “Huh? Did you say something?’

The answer is no

You can threaten him all you like or try to seduce him but he’s not budging 

“You’d do best not to hold me if you don’t want to have a chunk eaten off of you!”

“If that's what it takes to make you eat then so be it.”

“Stubborn, I’ll tolerate it if you can defeat me.”

“You want to fight? Fine but you have to eat first it's not healthy to do lots of exerting yourself without eating.”

“Grrrrr I’ll gut you for your incompetence!”

*Shifts to demon form* “If you're going to refuse me I will use force.”

You two don’t really get on the same level on your own 

Someone (Belphegor) has to mediate so you can clear up the misunderstanding

Its a wonder how you two still end up clashing at least on your end anyway

No one knows if he’s really seeing you or just putting his own thoughts on you

“So that's why you weren’t eating around me. Don’t do that again, I was worried.”

“Worried? For me? Best be careful your sentimentality may lead to your doom.”

“If it's really embarrassing for you we can eat away from everyone, I’m sure Lucifer won’t mind.”

“Are you deaf?”

“Nope but if you do have a taste for demons we can take a trip to the slums.”

Belphegor

“Only as scared as you are of me.”

“That would be none.”

“Good.”

You so easily affirm his dislike for humans

But more than he likes to admit he enjoys it every time

And so he fights with himself about what it is he likes about fighting you

The actual fighting or you

It turns out to be the latter as he finds himself waking with anger when you're antagonizing some other demon

“Don’t do that again.”

“What? Leave your side when you slumber? What am I? Your teddy bear?”

“Heh might as well be with how much I think about you.”

“What’s that? Are you admitting a surrender to your teddy bear?”

“Hah never!” 

To the naked eye, your relationship makes no sense 

but it doesn’t matter 

not to him at least

All that matters is that when he sleeps that your in arms-length

“From this point on, you're my human. *Yawn* So no picking fights without me.”

“And who are you to demand this of me?”

“Your demon Belphegor.”

[icarusbetide]

implausible historical scenario: southern alexander hamilton (pt 2: washington's version)

Part 1: Grows up with Lavien, tragic lams version

here's the second scenario that would make southern A. Ham a possibility:

The rumors are true and he actually is Washington's son - I know, I know, I can hear Hamilton rolling in his grave already. But there's a reason the rumors circulated, it's really fucking interesting!

We know for a fact that the real Washington was minding his business 1754-1757, far away from Nevis - but he did go to Barbados with his brother in 1751. Let's pretend that he went back in an impromptu trip or that Lawrence managed to eek out a few more years, so they actually went later than 1751 (Unrelated, but him catching smallpox there + being exposed to Lawrence's tuberculosis might be the reason he was potentially infertile. If so, then the timing works out and doesn't conflict with his inability to have kids with Martha.) Maybe their ship was blown off course or needed some supplies, and stopped at Nevis. For whatever reason (my entertainment), he makes a series of questionable choices. Some people speculate that Alexander might have been the son of Stevens. I personally don't find this likely, but I can switch Stevens with Washington. I can and I did.

There are two main pathways I can see.

The first one most closely matches historical rumors and reality: no southern Hamilton. Washington leaves the West Indies oblivious, Ham comes to NYC, everything plays out the same - but at some point they figure out that he's his dad. People have already written a lot about this, but musical based, and for good reason. There's a lot of angst you can get out of it. Does Washington watch silently as Hamilton courts Elizabeth and is welcomed into the Schuyler family? Does Washington know that his son only had one friend at his own wedding? Worse, does Alexander still view James Hamilton as his dad, and beg him to come while ignoring the general? Do they work together better or worse than they do in reality? The possibilities! Imagine a world where there isn't a Reynolds Pamphlet but there is a Washington Pamphlet where Alexander confesses that he is the illegitimate son of the president after the Democratic Republicans got hold of some information. All of this is extremely soap opera, and almost embarassing in its drama but idc, it's fun.

Second, more divergent one: Yes, Alexander is illegitimate, but they find each other way earlier. It certainly wasn't uncommon for men of Washington's status to have bastards, and some did acknowledge their illegitimate children. Here, he'd be acknowledged, and raised in Virginia with the Custis kids (assuming Martha still marries George in 1759). I find this scenario intriguing for both the personal and political repercussions.

Personal repurcussions: would Hamilton have less issues if he was Washington's kid? Certainly his environment would be more stable, and Washington (given his frustration with a lazy Jacky Custis) would've been proud of such an intelligent, promising boy. People would be less eager to criticize/demean Hamilton (at least to his face), and he wouldn't be insecure in his class or geographical origin. I can also see him learning more political finesse and control if he grew up in Virginian society and with a steady, dedicated father. Would he have worked better with Washington if they were actually an acknowledged father-son relationship? Would Washington have planned to give Mount Vernon to him, since the Custis children already have their inheritance?

Now, if we assume that Hamilton’s policies remain constant, then his opponents lose even more major weapons than the Lavien world: perceived preference for the north and background. But then it also complicates Washington's legacy as general and president. Some historians argue that Washington having no perceived biological heir had some role in the trust people placed in him. If people know that Hamilton is his son, illegitimate or not, who has followed him through the war and into government, that's going to cause uneasiness. Maybe even do more damage to Washington's reputation than any real-life accusations of monarchy ever did, because this one actually has some weight. Ironically, it could be that this forces Alexander to be out of the running for the Secretary of Treasury position - having to work in the shadows, because the country is suspicious of anything and everything that looks like a king. More resentment!

But what if his beliefs do change? We get to see a Hamilton with connections to the south, just like the Lavien universe, but on crack. Because now his guardian isn’t just any southerner, he’s George Washington. It’s likely that just like Washington, going through the war would end up with him being a nationalist. But economically? If he didn't get that experience as a clerk in the West Indies (the period he said was the most educational of his life), or as an assistant to his merchant half-brother, then would he have the knowledge/insight to create his financial plan? Washington was on the same page as Hamilton, but Hamilton was doing the actual system-building. Going further, maybe growing up at Mt. Vernon happily and having only faint, distasteful memories of his tragic childhood in the West Indies actually makes him rear away from reminders of that life - maybe he has a fondness for agrarian lifestyle and lounging by trees reading philosophy, and an inherent dislike of merchants, business opportunists like james hamilton, trading, commerce. Maybe, god forbid, he ends up thinking a lot like Jefferson.

Who knows? A young Virginian Hamilton who has very close ties and pride connected to his country, meets an idealistic Thomas Jefferson and goes: "You are my role model and now I will emulate everything about you." People forget that Jefferson was 12 - 14 years older than Hamilton, it’s possible! The two didn’t hate each other right away! I can see them in this world bonding over Virginia and their intellect - perhaps, even if Hamilton veers towards being a nationalist, the lack of dispute on financial matters is enough for them to maintain a good relationship. There's even a possibility that Hamilton, like Madison, is a nationalist and writes the Federalist Papers but switches to the Jeffersonian side once Jefferson comes back. Certainly Madison and Jefferson would spend a lot of time trying to convince their wayward, fellow Virginian friend. Imagine a world where Washington is the biggest federalist and opposing his own son, who is in cahoots with a different Virginian in undermining his own presidency.

*Pats improbable scenario: this baby pumps out so much melodrama.

[ulquichaan]

Miraculous Ladybug - my thoughts.

Hello!

It's been a while, I know. But I come back to rant yet again! I'm sorry for any mistakes in advance - its 2am and the thoughts won't let me sleep so I have to get them out there somewhere. If you don't want to waste your time - skip it. If you actually want to read it, I'll have a cookie waiting for you at the end of this. :3

My journey with MLB.

Miraculous was that one show that I got to know about through a parody of it on polish yt channel called Surreactor. I didn't know what it was about but it looked interesting and that was a point in time when season 3 was just starting to come out. Sooo, as the curious child I was - I gave it a go. And it captured me very easily.

At first all I wanted is for Adrien and Mari to finally get together. I never had big thoughts about it. Then I got bored between new episodes and just... forgot about it.

After some time however I came back to it. It was somewhere around 4th season airing. I returned to it, watched it all over again and it captured me yet again. I completely fell in love with Adrien as character and started to read loads of fanfiction about the two main heroes. I got invested, started to draw the characters in different settings and what not. I started even posting here on tumblr the rants that blew out about Adrien and about Black Cat holders as a whole just because I was frustrated on how little love he got or that I couldn't find any theories that would make sense.

I made new friend, started to plan stories more than I did before, returned to RP with my old friend through messenger and more.

It was a blow of creativity of mine at that time. You maybe you know of "Sky Is The Limit"? That was the point for me where I had so many ideas that I had to do something with at least one of them. Talking about an overload, right?

Season 4 finale - the best finale in this show in my honest opinion. Though I am based so who cares.

The point is - I deeply fell in love with this fandom for the most part.

And then... season 5 happened.

At first I was hooked. Really. I felt that it was going in the right direction and I even wanted to watch it later so I could see it in order.

Oh boy, did I get disappointed. Very disappointed.

I was never a Senti-Adrien fan, let's be real. But the execution? Even worse.

The finale? The fight yea, fun. But why cut out Adrien out of it???

Chloe as mayor? ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL? It's losing braincells more and more.

And I know the plot armor was always evident in this show and all.... but i feel like it was knocked up 10 times or more in season 5 to the point it could beat Game of Thrones seasons 7 and 8. (Yeah, I know what should compare two shows where one is fenomenal and the other has always been trash, but you can't argue with me that seasons 7 and 8 weren't rushed and had very poor execution)

To say that I was angry is an understatement. I HATED season 5 with every fiber of my existence. I still do, but I'm far more calm about it than I was originally. Believe it or not.

I saw all the drama in the fandom. When people complained about the show and other people came in to defend it. And I have to say - I can see where both sides are coming from.

To the people who enjoy it, all of it - I'm glad you do! I really am!

However.

I can clearly see where the hate is coming from and anytime I saw a valid critique I couldn't help but agree with it. There were some awesome responses to that critique even from people who do enjoy the show still, but there were always people who I'll call "white knights".

Aka people who will ride-or-die for the show and always say there is nothing wrong with it!

Oh how I hate this way of thinking....

Little message to those white knights - yes there are pure haters that hate just to hate, but in the spectrum of people who are critiquing the show are also people who loved it and got disappointed. When people are angry/dissapointed they usually feel the need to express themselves and forums like Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter, are just perfect for ranting. I have spent fair share in the horse gaming community to know that every flop will have a retaliation and shutting up people will make them only more angry. :|

I stopped liking the show. Why am I coming back to it?

That's a question that started to bother me just as I was going to sleep.

I have watched Hazbin Hotel (Lucifer my beloved) and fell deeply in love with it. I always liked Vivzie's Hellaverse being it Helluva Boss and now Hazbin, but there is something that just came back to me.

I started yet again imagining Adrien and Marinette but in the helllaverse. Or what if I merged hellaverse and Miraculous together in some way. Or other crazy ideas that will never see the light of day.

It's always those two characters for the most part. But the moment those two show up, the rest of Miraculous cast does too.

I fell put of the show. I don't like it. Why do I keep coming back?

My thought is - the fandom and the work it did for the characters.

I have always loved to read fanfiction even it came to miraculous. And it's always SO MANY! With many different variants of the world or entirely different settings. Ofc there are some bad fics, but the good ones are those that captured my heart and made me love the characters even more.

Let's put in some examples (and recommendations if you want to check them out):

Happiness by Somewhere_Out_Here

Once a Thief, always a Thief by @saijspellhart

Bakery Enemies by @buggachat

Heaven in hiding by @livinglittlelie

I'll guess your heart, if you guess mine by PurpleHeartsOne

Chat Blanc's Moon Waltz by @rileyclaw

The comic dubs by PhantomSavage

The little comics like "Passionate Kiss" by @edendaphne

All of these are just very few examples from multitude of content I devoured when I was in the love stage for MLB. And those things are STILL SO GOOD. (You have to check it out if you haven't already)

The point is - the fandom fell in love with the concept and if not that, then the characters. Yes, they aren't perfect. Some would say they are very much Mary Sue-ish. Some would say they are badly written. While the fact is - the characters themselves aren't badly written, the plot is just badly handled.

I can see why people love Marinette, she is quirky, funny and her ideas, while absurd most of the time, they work. And that's fine! She is supposed to be creative and what not. A great friend to have in corner, that for sure :3

Adrien on the other hand is supposed to be a bundle of issues that come with living a sheltered life and the want to be free.

(The movie handled Marinette much better than the show, let's be real here)

Sad fact - the writers of the show couldn't handle all of the potential they set up. But the fandom could and that's what's beautiful in my opinion.

The show may not be a masterpiece but they made some aspects of it so enjoyable and investing (love-square) that other people decided to execute those good things in their own stories and create something else.

The characters are just so easy to put into other stories too. Because they are written in the way they are (even if poorly handled at times) the aspects of them are very flexible, which in turn makes them easy to incorporate into other AUs.

For me it proves that you don't need a very complicated and deep character to make your story memorable. Even tho that certainly helps depending on your story. Miraculous was really lucky it got that creative fandom in the first place.

And this is what is beautiful.

Ending, some plans of mine that who knows if they will see the light of day. :]

This is only for those who are interested what I have been up to and what do i plan with this blog:

I am not quitting tumblr, oh no. I'll be probably reposting some stuff that I like from time to time.

I am returning to write "Sky Is The Limit", however I am completely rewriting it for the.... 7th time? Something like that. I doubt I'll finish it anytime soon at this rate and if I get the need to draw I might draw few characters from there or designs I have planned.

I have a very big project in mind that I might probably make a new blog for. It's still just an idea but I getting closer to actually being made so stay tuned.

I will start posting stuff from Hazbin Hotel. I fell deeply in love with Lucifer's character and you can't unglue me from that duck man!!

Other than that I went to university and I'm enjoying my time here so yeah.

And here is your cookie for reading all that! You're a legend!

(I'm open for any discussions as long as they stay respectful. Feel free to DM me :>)