#you are EVIL and SPITEFUL and i refuse to let you win..

[salsflore]

being very secretive here since I'm not allowed to interact but I LOVE IT SM ^^

PLEASE I guess I'm not allowed to interact since I'm lovely and like to harrass you wodnqp

Tho, jokes on you my name doesn't actually start with an f. That's just a nickname. ha ^^

So ig I can just :

oh no! i've been outsmarted.. btw i am simply not looking at the picture. tumblr automatically blocked it out for me. sorry feli </33 (i will also edit the dni to include nicknames as well)

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

Vote-blue-at-all-costs people: Please stop using these arguments:

"Refusing to vote for Biden because he's committing genocide is childish/spiteful/stupid": 14,800 people are dead. What number does the death toll need to reach for you to consider opposing genocide the "mature" decision? Oh, wait, let me guess. There is no number. Just as long as it's not you getting hurt. Using that argument shows people you're a cunt.

"But what about meeeee!!!!!": You're a stupid cunt. You think he won't turn on you?

"He would never turn on Americans!": A willfully ignorant, stupid cunt. He already is. People are getting arrested for peaceful protests. People are being fired for opposing genocide. Rashida Tlaib was censured, and no, not by him, but did he come to her defense? Has he spoken out in defense of antigenociders right to protest? Spoken out in defense of free speech in reference to people getting fired? What about in response to the silencing of Jewish Voice for Peace? No. People who oppose genocide are likened to nazis and deemed antisemitic. Because he only cares about freedom of speech and freedom to protest when no one is protesting genocide.

And we've seen in history that genocidal maniacs do not make safe allies. Get in bed with one at your own peril.

"We just need to influence him to do better!": We've been protesting and calling reps for a month and a half. And yes, they are slowly caving. But we should not need to beg our leaders for a month and a half to cede to the will of the people. Especially when that will is to not commit genocide. Genocide is something that even if all of America wanted, a leader should oppose.

"Actually, he's helpless, and none of this is his fault!" He wants to give billions to Netanyahu. He has repeated unconfirmed information, knowing it will stir up Islamophobia. He doubted the death toll when his administration knew it was higher.

"You're an idiot!": Oddly enough, you won't be able to get us to support genocide by hurting our feelings.😭

"Trump is worse!" No, he's different. Different is not the same as worse or better. Biden and Trump are just as evil. Biden just hid it better. People didn't see Bundy as evil for quite a while. Even after his arrest, a lot of people thought he couldn't possibly be guilty. Spoiler alert, he was. But even the highest estimates of the number of people Bundy killed only go into the hundred. Biden's funded the murders of over 14,800 people and hasn't even pretended to call for a ceasefire.

"If Trump wins, it will be your fault!" 🙄 No. It will be Biden's and the Democrat's fault. All Biden had to do was not commit genocide. I would have voted him. A lot of people would have. Because while his flaws were mounting, he had not yet reached the stage where he was the same as Trump. But genocide is not a mere pecadillo. It is a huge fucking deal. And despite everyone warning him that this is a deal breaker, he has continued to commit genocide. He chose to forfeit our votes.

Moreover, we have made it clear that we have a very reasonable demand of Democratic candidates: Don't commit or condone genocide. The DNC has time to shift and meet this demand. If it chooses not to do so, they choose to lose the election.

[falllpoutboy]

i should elaborate on this bc i feel like i owe everyone who cares about this A/J/M shit an elaboration

its just so easy to be a hater LMAOOO. i have a evil, spiteful little gremlin that has been growing inside of me since london concertgate (tbh since season 3 dropped tbfh but whatever) but i refuse to let that creature win. i may have spiraled a bit since then and posted some stuff that can be perceived as petty and hateful towards certain people and their relationship but its easy to say what you want when you dont have a looking glass on the inner situation or situations. i want to feel free to be petty on my own blog but i wont throw vague bitchfits in the future. that takes up too much fucking energy lmao. so i will post the occasional petty or condescending blind item about them but definitely not any pictures or rumors or articles about them. absofuckinglutely not

[dddragoni-drabbles]

"Well, I hope youre happy, hero," Gareth snarled, clutching at the wound in his side. "You got what you wanted. You've slain the villain. Saved the day."

Tulius kept his sword raised. By all appearances, Gareth was not long for this world, but there was no telling what sort of trick he had up his sleeve.

"What did you think this was going to change? By killing one evil man, were you going to right all the wrongs of the world?" He coughed, blood splattering on the flagstones in front of him. "Foolish boy. The rot runs deeper than that. All you've managed to do is stop me profiting off of it."

"Then tell me who else you're working with." Tulius pointed the tip of his sword at Gareth's throat. "I will not rest while evil like you still lurks in the world."

"Like me? Evil?" Mirthless laughter slipped from his lips, followed by a groan of pain. "You're fighting human nature. There will always be people like me. Who realize that the only way to the top is by stepping on everybody else."

Tulius's eyes narrowed. "I don't know what trick you're trying to pull, but it won't work."

"No trick. I'm done for. I lost. But I refuse to let you think you won." His eyes lost focus even as his mouth curled into a spiteful sneer. "Because you'll never win. You can take down a dozen evils, but one of them will get the better of you sooner or later, and all you'll have to show for your life will be a sea of blood." Gareth let out a final, ragged breath, and then he was still.

[stierhai]

Enstars AUs, 6-10

Enstars AUs, continued from here.

VAMPIRE AUs

[because sometimes the classics are classics for a reason]

6. Shinkai Cult, Vampire AU- I have to confess, what's written in my notebook here is actually FISHPIRES and nothing else. But I feel that alone is a compelling premise. What if, instead of fish and cannibalism cult, there are vampires. The Shinkai gods are vampires! We can have Elizabeth Bathory style pools of blood! Innocent monster Kanata! Chiaki can have a debilitating fear of ghosts still but be kind of mostly confused and concerned about vampires! I'm into it. Pros: I love vampires, I love the fish cult. It's also further divorced from the canon than the non-idol AU so I don't need to immediately go read stellar maris for writing it. Cons: I still should go brush up on everyone's voices.

7. Reimei Academy, Vampire AU- The AU where that school is actually a vampire factory. I mean, look. That school is canonically built atop catacombs, I don't know what else you want from me. The special students are being trained to give up their humanity with the way they treat the regular students, who also donate blood alongside their labor. The Shuuetsu students can be actual vamps. I've been re-reading Obbligato, so this one was on my mind while I was brainstorming. Pros: Hiyori!!! Kaname!! Cons: While I think it's a good idea, I also am not really sure what I'd be doing with it? I'd need to sit and think on this one longer to get more of a sense of it.

Magic School AUs:

[Twisted Wonderland, Scholomance, etc. There's a ton of them out there, we know the formula here. Boarding school where people learn magic and also it's dangerous both because of and for the students.]

8. Eccentric 5 Focus, Magic School AU - I want to write about the e5's downfall in a setting that allows for their downfall to be more absurdly dramatic while also not killing them off when they have their downfall so I can still let Natsume give the whole thing a different ending. Canonically they refuse his plan because even though they could have gotten a victory, it would have been nothing more than a pyrrhic victory. The damage is done. Vengeance is vengeance, but they're generally not spiteful people. Bringing the War into a magic school setting, it allows for Eichi's plan to have had-- well honestly I think in canon Eichi being allowed to save the idol industry and enable its evil which he furthered with his super capitalism is still just like plain evil and damaging-- to have had more dire consequences that needed to be stopped. Let Natsume have a nice thing and let's have an AU where Eichi gets foiled for real! I think that'd be fun. Natsume gets to reveal magic to normies and end the magic school because actually the magic school sucked, the version that relied on them and Eichi's new world order too! Pros: I've always wanted to write a Natsume wins AU to the war but canon really has spent so much time on the war at this point that it's like fine fine, Akira I get it you really really don't think this point needs to be belabored anymore. I understand, but also understand, I've gotta. Eichi has had it too good for too long. Cons: I've never written Sakuma Rei, Kanata, or Natsume before.

9. Sensei-tachi focus, Magic School AU - In which instead of all of them being survivors of the idol industry which is terrible and watching students go down the terrible pipe which they've already been down, it's the teachers being so, so tired but they can't really even encourage anyone to leave being magical. That's not how it works! They are so tired of watching their students absolutely torn up by the school and possibly magic society and doing their best to save them/help them. Unfortunately, they kind of suck. They are doing their bests, and their best is simply not very good. If I'm working with the senseis though, I'll need to figure out what I'm doing with the students. The obvious group to focus on is Trickstar, with Seiya being Hokuto's father and his connection to Subaru, Jin and his connection to Hokuto and Subaru, and Akiomi and his connection to Makoto (though the model-gumi more generally). This leaves Mao as their mundane tag-along friend. But I do need to figure out what sort of trouble Trickstar is getting into, to make this AU work. Pros: I really enjoy the teachers and don't get a ton of excuses to write for them or talk about them. How could I not love Seiya, also. This fucker. Insists he's a robot, not a person, what's a feeling! Come children throw your individuality and emotions away for the sake of the industry. I love Hokuto's bad dad so much. I could also put the Gatekeeper in it as the head of the Academy if I wanted. Cons: Voice review, need to figure out more of what I'm doing for this one.

10: Ra*bits Focus, Magic School AU - In which three new, magically weak students are saddled with their weird survivor upperclassman who snuck into the lower grades after [a terrible thing that wiped out valkyrie happened] to try and help them survive magic school. Pros: Nazuna! I love writing Nazuna! I'd get to write a different side of him than usual! Cons: I need to voice review for everyone else.

Continued here

[ceescedasticity]

to avoid writing an essay on someone else's post

To me the interesting thing about the Second Kinslaying is that while it was a war crime*, unlike the other two it wasn't a betrayal and it shouldn't have been a surprise.

[*: 'War crime' doesn't actually have an objective, universal, unchanging definition. A war crime in the commonly accepted modern definitions.]

The Noldor and the Lindar of Alqualondë were friends and no one expected things to go so badly. I think even Fëanor thought the worst case scenario was bullying the Lindar into giving up their ships, no bloodshed necessary. That was a betrayal and a surprise to everybody.

With the Third Kinslaying… It's more ambiguous, but the Fëanorians had been holding a defensive line for three decades and probably employing Sirion and/or Balar as 'behind the lines' for anyone who couldn't be on the front lines as well as supplies, because that's what was left. They weren't on speaking terms or working together exactly, but they were working in parallel. The Fëanorians had never attacked other Noldor before. And iirc Elwing didn't give a hard no to their letter — she stalled, said they had to negotiate with Eärendil and he wasn't there. So it was a surprise, and a betrayal of a (tacit and chilly) alliance.

But the Second Kinslaying—

Doriath and the Fëanorians were never allies. They were allies-in-law. And Thingol had solid reasons to refuse alliance — their attack on his brother's/his* people, their being generally rude and condescending-at-best, perhaps a not unreasonable perception of them as untrustworthy — but it was his refusal that meant they never became allies. (This got long, sorry.)

[*: Whether Thingol still considered himself king of all the Teleri is an interesting question but not relevant to this discussion.]

So they weren't allies, and after Dagor Bragollach Doriath demonstrated very clearly that they weren't allies by keeping its borders closed to Noldorin refugees. And Thingol was the one who chose to get Doriath involved with the Silmaril, claiming one when he had no right to* (and also arguably angling to use the Sons of Fëanor to get rid of Beren).

[*: No right by our standards. I… am not at all sure ownership of material goods not currently in one's possession is any more objective and absolute than war crimes are. I am not sure that's a universal paradigm in thinking about material goods. You may need to attach a certain amount of importance to material things before that makes sense.]

Of course then Celegorm and Curufin were the ones who chose to respond to this by being severely antagonizing. There were a lot of things they could have done to try to come up with a compromise — like, maybe, an agreement that Beren will give the Silmaril to Thingol and Thingol will immediately ransom it to the Fëanorians? Thingol probably would have refused, but they didn't try. And then attacking Beren and Lúthien in the wilderness has nothing to do with the Oath, it's just spite.

If Doriath didn't see the Fëanorians as definite enemies before that it certainly did after. And with Nargothrond also cutting ties (and Finrod in particular gone) the allies-in-law relationship was more remote.

Maedhros made a sincere attempt to bring them into the Union, to establish a proper alliance. But— He didn't offer to seriously punish C&C, much less extradite them. He offered "let's all pull together and fight Morgoth". Which he's doing anyway.

The possible benefit of Morgoth being defeated would be the same whether Thingol helped or not. The possible consequence of the Sons of Fëanor being more/still pissed at him was irrelevant behind the Girdle. So Thingol either (a) picked not associating with Evil A over fighting Evil B or (b) looked at the military situation with a cold clear eye and possible benefit of Melian's foresight and decided that they wouldn't win even with Doriath's help so why should he send his people to die pointlessly.

So they stay enemies.

After the Nirnaeth Arnoediad they are no longer allies-in-law (except possibly through Círdan, but no one ever listens to Círdan). (Gondolin really isn't allied with either of them.)

On top of that, there are several good arguments to be made that between the Nirnaeth and the Second Kinslaying, Celegorm had more power and influence among the Fëanorians than at any other time. Maedhros gambled everything on the Union and lost. Generally speaking military leaders who do that lose influence. (Plus, his mental state was likely… poorer than usual.) Celegorm has more reasons to hate Doriath (both good and bad), and less of a record of being conciliatory in general. He is not going to be trying to keep things calm.

They're definitely enemies and they all know it.

Fast forward through the loss of the Girdle (which the Fëanorians couldn't overcome) and Lúthien (who Celegorm was probably scared of). The Sons of Fëanor demand the Silmaril.

Of course Dior et al don't want to hand it over. There's the fact that Celegorm and Curufin were outrageously awful to Beren's parents — who just recently died, who he is grieving — and who wants to give them anything. And all of Doriath may be feeling a bit sunk-cost about the Silmaril. And, possibly, Silmaril+likely-cursed Nauglamír may be doing unfortunate things to people's judgment.

On top of that, though, I can see why Dior would say they had no right to it. First, there's the possible differing perspectives on legitimacy of remote ownership. Second, there's the argument that the Silmarils are semi-sentient and don't like the Sons of Fëanor anymore. Third, heck, Thingol's position was that he was king of all Beleriand, kings can demand exorbitant tribute sometimes.

I can see why they would choose not to give up the Silmaril, and I can't say they were definitely in the wrong. But they should have made that choice fully aware that it would result in invasion.

There are people who were probably shocked to hear there was another, deliberate kinslaying, who still hadn't expected the Fëanorians to sink that low. Probably some of the Fëanorians were shocked they were doing another kinslaying.

But no one in Doriath should have been shocked! They've been acting like another kinslaying was possible since they found out about the first one!

They weren't friends with the dwarves of Nogrod but they trusted them enough to have business arrangements within the Girdle, which was more than they ever trusted the Fëanorians. That went horribly wrong over the Silmaril, which the dwarves didn't even have any prior connection to.

Obviously the Fëanorians would attack.

So given that, and given that even without the Girdle Menegroth itself was extremely defensible — was built by dwarves, to be defensible — why was the Second Kinslaying a slaughter and not a siege? How did the Fëanorians get in the front door?

Someone screwed up badly.

(Or I suppose you could flip it around and say Dior let them in the front door because he was planning to give them the Silmaril after some grandstanding and telling them how much they sucked, but they didn't know that and attacked before he got that far. Or because he pissed them off. But there's no evidence for that.)

Backing up, from the Fëanorians' perspective, they/their lords have a right to the Silmaril — because Noldor (and dwarves and hobbits and probably Númenóreans) do believe in persistence of property ownership — and the Iathrim wouldn't spit on them if they were on fire, so even without C&C's particular grudge it's not… unthinkable. There's the "don't kill people" thing, but… they may be a bit, ha, deadened to death by now, after several disastrous losses. A lot of them probably had to kill Easterlings they thought were their allies. Death seems a bit cheaper now, probably.

But from a practical perspective they clearly did not put enough thought into how costly an attack would be, and of course it required just sort of… ignoring the ongoing Morgoth situation.

[miammey]

OK, this was originally gonna be a reblog to a thread talking about if Jouno manipulated Tachihara (he didn’t, not at all), but it became so long it’s gonna be its own thing

Long story short, I think we’re being partially misled by Jouno’s characterization, in a way. Let me explain.

Now,

I’ll say it right now, I think he’s lying here. No one ever mentions that a character could be straight up lying in a scene until it’s revealed then or later, that or it’s obvious, so I’m gonna do it.

When Jouno first found out about Fukuchi being the DoA leader, his reaction was pretry genuine.

This was the first time we’ve seen him so confused about something.

Before this, he said he wouldn’t mind joining the ADA’s (DoA’s) side if they lost, but when he was actually gifted that opportunity, he declined in a very satisfying way (cutting Fukuchi’s neck open). (More on this later)

We don’t know what he was thinking in that scene, but Fukuchi mentioned that he only hired Jouno to later make him become a DoA member.

Fukuchi did not think he was capable of becoming a good person, not in the slightest.

The problem was that Jouno did change, even if he could not be considered a “good person”, he still enjoys doing good, he learned it the hard way, but he learned it.

So part of the reason Jouno declined the offer? Spite.

A big ol’ “fuck you” to Fukuchi, the man who fixed him up only to try and rub him back in the dirt.

And when he did attack Fukuchi, he absolutely knew that he had to chance of winning, so what did he do? Run away to try and contact the other Hunting Dogs, because he trusts them as teammates.

Fukuchi said that Jouno only used the Hunting Dogs as a vessel, but the moment he learned that Fukuchi was the mastermind he was certain that they (Tecchou and Teruko) would believe him, he trusted them enough to ask for their aid. So much for the Hunting Dogs being a “vessel”.

And what about Aya? Why did he give her the note? Well, he’s not stupid. Tachihara told a lie to the Commander, then Tachihara goes mission. He gave Aya the note incase he’s unfortunately right about his suspicions.

Another reason he said he would have joined the ADA (DoA) could have been to manipulate Fukuchi a little bit (hey, I never said he wasn’t manipulative, just not to Tachihara, or any of the other Hunting Dogs, for that matter)). In case his suspicions were right, Fukuchi would have been more open, and more easily able to tell Jouno that he was the mastermind.

Jouno’s surprised reaction could have been because he didn’t want to be right, didn’t want his leader to betray them. Fukuchi was the one who gave Jouno a second chance at life, after all, and allowed him to experience the pleasure of protecting the weak.

Now, there are a few more reasons why I think Jouno’s characterization could be hiding something about his character, one of which being his eyebrows (bear with me, I’m being serious).

There are a few instances where his hair covers his eyebrows, I made a post about i a while back. What this does is make his expression completely unreadable.

I refuse to believe this isn’t intentional in some way, otherwise there would be no reason to try and hide it.

Why hide his expression if he actually wanted to join the DoA? If he were honest wouldn’t it be more obvious that he was excited or something? I know he smirked before then, but that could also very well mean that he has a plan (he most likely had to make it up on the spot).

Another thing is what Tecchou had to say about Jouno while he was beating up Kenji.

Everyone misunderstands him? Despises violence? These are things that contradict everything we thought of when we think of Jouno, to the point where people just don’t believe Tecchou, the guy who has been Jouno’s teammate for (presumably) six years, and has known him much longer than we have seen him on screen.

The thing is, all of what Tecchou says can very much be true, mainly due to the fact that it’s Tecchou saying it, the man who sees good and evil through a black and white lens and puts people above all. If Tecchou of all people says you’re good, then you probably have some good in you, and remember, Jouno bullies Tecchou constantly, and Tecchou still has nice things to say about him!

And about the protecting the weak bit, that is true, we saw in his flashback that it was true, he remembered a single old lady thanking him. He’s probably been thanked by hundreds of people due to saving them, and after the initial memory of urging those bank robbers to commit suicide (look, I didn’t say he was 100% good, but at least he’s not hurting innocent civilians anymore, it’s better than nothing), which is what Fukuchi was talking about and therefore the first thing that came to mind, Jouno remember an old lady thanking him.

Could it be because he used to never get praise or thanks? Probably, he was a criminal after all, but the fact that the part of the mission that came to his mind without prompt was the way he felt when someone thanked him has to mean something, and I doubt that’s a bad something since he continued to stay on the side of the people, following his mission of “defeat the terrorists”.

Overall, we don’t know jack about Jouno, like at all, we barely even saw his thought process when he was fighting Fukuchi and he have less than half a backstory.

But in the end, Jouno is a cruel man who enjoys listening to the suffering of others, there is literally no denying that even if you tried, but I believe there is so much more to him than just that, we’ve just yet to be properly introduced to it.

[weebswrites]

What if the brothers gave MC a little taste of how it feels to be an Avatar of Sin in a “this is how it is all the time” way? Just so they understand what it means to embody a sin

The Bros Showing MC What it's like to Embody a Sin

Lucifer - since he's extremely powerful he can actually have you experience what he does. He takes your face in his hands and presses the black diamond that crowns his face and presses it to your temple. You feel a rush of power surge through your body, and then your mind is filled with thoughts of him. Lucifer, your Lucifer. So many other demons lusted after him every day, but he's yours. You wanted to destroy any thought besides yours that was about him. You wanted him completely to yourself, but in the most divine sense. He was yours and you were his, and you wanted everyone to be sure of your love

Mammon - You couldn't understand why he always needed to steal from you and his brothers. He knew how upset it made you, and you knew he felt remorseful when he was punished, but you just didn't get why he couldn't stop. So he took a deep breath and took your hands in his. Looking into your eyes for a moment, he whispered "look" and closed his eyes. You did the same, and you suddenly felt everything that he'd always tried to explain. The core desire to steal, to take, to get anything he could to get grimm from. The pain he often felt while doing it, but not being able to control himself, no matter how hard he tried. Memories of his unfolded in your mind like a movie, and you watched as he fought himself every time he snuck into your room, or Lucifer's office. You finally understood the inner turmoil he felt, and the all-consuming greed along with it

Leviathan - He's jealous of your crush on genshin characters, but he's allowed to devote his entire room to Ruri-chan and you can't say a thing? Needless to say, you're pissed. He takes your hands and offers to show you, to let you really feel the envy he feels. He knows how he sounds, and he hates it, and he hates that you'll never truly understand how he feels. But then he remembers, you can. So as he holds your hands and offers to let you feel what it's like to be the avatar of envy, you agree. At the mere words you feel your body jolt at the sudden difference, and you feel more hatred and jealousy of Ruri-chan for stealing Levi's attention away from you than ever before. The animes, the mangas, the games, they were all enemies against you, fighting for Levi's time. And you weren't going to let anything or anyone else win

Satan - You knew how he used to torture people for fun, but it’d been centuries and the two of you had discussed it. At length, and you knew he’d moved on. He didn’t indulge in his urges anymore, both for his sake and your own. But you could tell how difficult it was. You could see him struggling every day, whether he knew it or not. So you asked him to show you, if he could, what it was like. You just wanted to help him, make the days pass by easier for him. He took a deep breath, and cupped your face in his hands. “I can show you, MC, but it’ll hurt”. You nodded, “it’s okay, I want to feel what you feel”. He nodded, a worried look crossing his eyes before closing them - and then you felt it. A wave of what felt like pure evil at first, but then evened out inside you. You felt angry. Hurt? You couldn’t put a name to the flood of wrath that washed over you, but you knew you needed to act on it. You felt your hands unintentionally tighten over Satan’s, but couldn’t stop them, despite wanting to. You tried to channel your feelings to something specific, but realized the one thing that would cool the flame within you. The thing you and Satan had worked so hard for him to control. Death.

Asmodeus - You were head over heels for him. The way he’d laugh when you whispered a joke about Satan’s reading habits, or Levi’s inability to leave his room. The way he could style himself and actually had a skin care routine. You looked up to him, but that had grown to something more than an older-brother figure. You loved Asmodeus, and every night he went out and brought someone back that wasn’t you, you felt your heart break a little deeper. Weeks ago you’d told him how you felt, promised him that his lust wouldn’t bother you, you knew him and knew that you’d be okay - but he didn’t believe you. Well, he did, but he didn’t want to trap you in his sin. He kept telling you that it was too strong, that you’d get tired of him and feel used, but you knew you wouldn’t. But try as you might, he wouldn’t budge. He even felt the same for you, which made it a million times harder, but he refused to put you at risk. Days went by with you avoiding him, when you heard a soft knock on your door. “MC, it’s me. May I please come in?” you were silent for a moment, afraid to see him, but knew your heart wouldn’t let you turn him away. He came in and sat across from you on your bed, taking your hands in his. “MC…” he took a deep breath, “I figured out a way to show you what I feel. So you know what I mean when I say I know you’ll feel trapped by me. Because this has been tearing me up the same it has you”. You nodd, and squeeze his hands, “I trust you” you whisper, and he looks at you deeply before closing his eyes and sending his Lust through your veins. It ran though you like a hot fire being carried by the wind, and you instantly understood everything he had said. You felt his lust fully, and knew that he really was looking out for you. But you knew him, and loved him, and knew you could be with him not in spite of his lust. “Asmodeus, this doesn’t change anything. I still love you” you whispered, hoping he’d accept your confession this time. And as he leaned in to your lips you knew he had

Beelzebub - You were always curious how he could always be so hungry. Obviously it was his sin, but the fact that he had to live with always being hungry, you couldn’t imagine how that must feel. So one day, you asked. The two of you were sitting in the kitchen together, snacking while you studied for an upcoming exam, when you asked what it was like constantly being hungry. He turned to you, and for the first time in your friendship, you couldn’t read what he was thinking. “Well, I can show you” he answered plainly, and somehow you couldn’t believe you’d never thought of that yourself. But you weren’t a demon, how could you have. You thought for a moment, before nodding, “Okay”. He moved a hand to hold your cheek, and closed his eyes. You didn’t know what to expect, and were shocked when you felt his sin, the feeling of absolute gluttony, flow through you. You were hungry, sure, but not just for food. You craved everything. Every item, food or not, you wanted to get your hands on, but food was the easiest to obtain. You could tunnel the craving into food, and that made it much more tolerable. He drew his hand away, and you understood then, every aspect of his sin, and how he lived with it

Belphegor - You loved a nap just as much as the next person, or demon, but never understood how Belphie could just...keep sleeping. You’d mentioned it before to him, and he’d tried to explain it, but you never fully understood. Which was expected, a human could never know what it was really like to embody one of the cardinal sins, right? That’s what you thought, until one day you were crawling into bed with him, and as he put his arms around you he offered to let you embody his sin - just for a moment. Your curiosity was set ablaze, and you agreed. He just held you closer, and you instantly drifted to sleep. But this sleep was different. It was the deepest sleep you’d ever had, yet simultaneously the lightest. You felt so rested, but craved more. It felt like you could sleep eternally and still be tired. And when you both awoke from this experience, you put together just how the avatar of sloth was able to sleep anywhere so easily.

[thyandrawrites]

First, thank you for replying to my message a while back and sorry for the late reply. I thought brain damage was part of his behaviour because he suffered immense damage from the fire and had untreated mental health problems for years. There's also him being born prematurely where I've heard babies can suffer brain damage from such a thing.

Regarding recent chapters, I'm a little sad Touya didn't win his fight against Shoto since it technically validated that Endeavour was right about him being a superior successor. However, I am relieved Shoto managed to cool Touya down and save his life because I really don't want him to die.

Onto the question, during the three years Touya was in a coma, do you think it's possible AFO did something to him that allowed him to survive. Garaki said Touya should not have lasted more than a month and the idea of him surviving purely because of hate doesn't seem very realistic. I know it's fiction but still. Touya had to have survived for seven years somehow. What do you think?

Another thing, from one Dabi fan to another, I'm recommending a fic you might enjoy. It's a time travel fic on AO3 called "Once More With Clarity" by TheElectricEccentric. The plot and characterisation are amazing and the shipping is beautiful.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37058800/chapters/92468275

Hi again!

As for the brain damage thing, it's fine if you interpret it differently or even keep it as an headcanon of yours! Personally, I don't see any elements in the text that suggest this theory, and as I dislike pointless suffering for my faves, I'd prefer to avoid discussing this any further. I hope you'll understand!

Regarding the Dabi vs Shouto fight, I'll admit that I have some thoughts on it, but I'm waiting to see if their confrontation is really over before voicing them either way. I think that whether or not Dabi has been defeated for good yet is still up in the air tbh.

For the rec, thank you for sharing! But unfortunately I don't read endvr pov or endvr redemption fics. I mean no slight on the fic or the author (I've read another work of theirs, in fact), but that content just isn't for me o/

Now, on to your question: nope, I don't really think there's any indication that Ujiko or AFO are behind Touya's continued survival after the coma. In fact, I believe that the opposite is true:

While Ujiko is responsible for performing the surgeries that kept Touya alive after Sekoto Peak, he only gave him skin grafts. The phrasing is admittedly odd, what with the mention of "regenerative tissue", but I don't really think the medical treatment he received up that point is linked to his survival after Touya burns down the children hospital.

Say, if they'd given him a regen quirk, Touya probably wouldn't have gotten scars again, but in a couple of years he's back to having extensive burns over most of his body.

But the main reason why I don't think we have to thank the evil duo for keeping Dabi alive is that when they met again some 7 years later, Ujiko was not only surprised but also perplexed that Touya hadn't died yet. He clearly didn't expect him to live that long, or past the one month he diagnosed at all.

Plus, AFO here was waiting for Touya to wake up before dangling the metaphorical carrot in front of his face. If by this point he'd already ordered Ujiko to perform some body-altering "upgrade", or even administered one himself, he wouldn't have tried to manipulate Touya with the promise that he could "fix" his quirk in exchange for loyalty. I think it's fairly solid that up to that point, they hadn't yet transfered any quirks onto him. AFO was so arrogantly convinced that Touya would consent and beg him to return his firepower to what it once was, that he never even considered that Touya wouldn't play along until he got flat out refused, and with spite too.

In fact, there was a great deal of focus on how Touya's unwillingness to let himself be manipulated was the whole reason why AFO judged him a failed pet project and eventually lost interest in him:

AFO had no use for someone who wouldn't worship him and obey him blindly after all. So I don't think he wasted any resources on him.

That said, I'll also note that AFO has been showing a lot of interest in Dabi now.

First, he started calling Dabi Touya-kun, then compared Aoyama to a disposable, defective lighter in a really unsubtle metaphor of what he really thinks of his "friendship" with Dabi as well...

And then there's the two separate times he brought up Endvr's abuse towards Touya specifically, and his renewed offer to Dabi for a quirk power up.

... I think that even if he didn't have an interest in Touya all those years ago, he's definitely found an use for him in his ploys now. The foreshadowing's there, and AFO is most likely plotting something in relation to Dabi to target Endvr. It might even be the set up for Endvr finally acting on his redeption in a way that matters, who knows.

Before anyone mentions this in the replies, I know people have been discussing the chance that the glow on Dabi's chest in 353 is a hint that AFO booby trapped him too. But I think the likelyhood of that happening are close to zero. For one, if Dabi was going to blow up à la Nagant, the chapter would've ended on that already. Hori's never been shy about on-screen maiming (tho his track record shows he normally prefers to blow up women. Legit, it's like a fetish at this point). Plus, blowing up Dabi serves no narrative purpose: it nullifies Shouto's self-actualization as a hero (since the whole point of that was saving his brother's life), it doesn't give the villains a boost because Dabi's already down, and it adds nothing to Enji's arc because he's not a medic and thus would not be involved in correcting his karmic bad by saving the life of the son he indirectly killed.

So. No booby traps. Dabi's natural boobies will likely remain the main show, fellas.

But! There might still be a quirk power up. There are two ways I can see this happening: one, and I am biased towards this route, Touya might be getting a natural quirk awakening. I speculated about this more at length here:

Two, and I find this the lamest but also slightly more likely route, AFO gave (adult) Dabi a quirk anyway. Possibly without Dabi knowing. Likely something that will keep the fight going long enough for Endvr to eventually catch up to his sons and wrap up his own arc at last.

I guess we'll see!

[narrators-journal]

Illumi's family arranged for him to marry the daughter of a famous murderous family, his fiancee has the personality of Violet Evergarden, they have a son together, but before Illumi finds out about the child, she breaks up the marriage! 5 years later he found out about the prodigy son, what would his reaction be? Would he try to get custody of the child or would he force the reader to remarry and start a family? (Illumi Yandere obsessive)

So, I had a bit of fun and made this a little scenario! Though, to answer your question, he'd force reader-chan to remarry him and play family. I hope you enjoy this little ditty!

To be fair, betrothal had a track record for being somewhat fickle in the longevity department, Illumi could admit that. He'd wanted his marriage to you to take after his own parents' relationship, long lasting, happy, stable. However, you had been stubbornly independent from the first day he'd met you when he was 12, all because you had come from your own well off, assassin-trained family. That fact had pissed him off as a child, it'd annoyed him the most as a teen, because at 16 you were particularly enthusiastic with your defiance of his rules and commands, and it hadn't sat well with him when you finally officially married him, but he'd tried to negotiate with you and keep the peace. You obey him, he won't use his needles on you, win-win.

Guess not, since about a year into the arrangement, you'd been able to worm your way through a loophole that let you divorce him. Hence why you were currently playing a nasty game of tag.

That was something of the last straw for Illumi. He could learn to manage you going against his rules, he could put up with your stubborn personality and spiteful refusal to give up birth control, but he would never allow his wife to just walk out on him. So, when you'd vanished, he of course went looking for you, which was a hassle and a half since you were trained to work in his line of business. So, he tried not to be annoyed when his hunt lasted for a few years, but it really did eat at him.

I'm about to just declare (y/n) dead and find a new wife. He thought one day, five years into his hunt, while he trudged around a shop with his mother's list of demands in hand. As time had gone on, Kikyo Zoldyck, Illumi's mom, had made a habit out of sending him personally to grocery shop so he would stop fuming around the estate. So, dressed in one of his sweatshirts and some shorts, Illumi was standing in a store, grumpily musing over what to do about his runaway wife while finding the stuff his mother asked for. Suddenly, just as he turned down another aisle, he spotted a strange child all alone in the pathway, looking down at some candy.        "Where are your parents?" he asked, and when the boy looked up at him, his eyes narrowed. He was looking back into his own dark, bottomless eyes. "Where is your mother?" he asked again, his voice somewhere between calm and tense, but the child acted as if he didn't hear any of the malice in Illumi's voice, just turning and running off down the aisle with his chosen candy in hand.

Swiftly, Illumi put his own shopping down and went after him, following the young boy down a few aisles before losing him in a small crowd. So, the man huffed, clenching his fist and repressing the hot rage coursing through his veins before returning to his shopping and just going to buy everything he had, his mother would have to send a butler to finish the list later. However, while standing in line, stewing in his frustration, confusion, and wrath at the potential answers he was thinking up to explain the odd child, the long haired assassin struck a gold mine of luck. Out of the corner of his eye, walking towards the exit, he spotted the familiar puppy-patterned shirt of the toddler he'd seen earlier, but this time said child was holding onto the hand of a woman.

So, acting quickly, he put his things down again and went after the duo, catching up to them and grabbing the woman by the wrist when they were outside in the parking lot.           "Hey!" you snapped, whirling around to face Illumi, that sickly familiar look of aggression instantly giving you away,           "(y/n)." Your name was curt and rather inexpressive, but Illumi's aura held all of the underlying meaning and threat he needed for your narrowed, (e/c) eyes to flit through a multitude of emotions. Terror, anger, back to fear, than back to anger, and finally, a cold, hateful, calm.           "Can the Zoldycks really not afford a dictionary? We're divorced Illumi, you have no right to bother me." you hissed, yanking your wrist out of his bruising hold while inching your son behind you.           "We can talk about the 'divorce' later, as for my rights, I have quite a few when it comes to my child." He pointed out, glancing down to the dark-eyed child behind you, getting an evil look in response,           "He isn't your kid, fucker. You're not the only man I've slept with, stupid." you shot back, barring your teeth at the murderer-for-hire.

For a long moment, the two of you stared one another down. Both were obviously pissed and full of malice, but with a small child that could likely be Illumi's so close, neither could express that aggression, whether it be through their auras or a vitriolic fight. So, they were somewhat stuck in a stalemate until Gotoh broke the tension,           "Master Illumi, would you like some assistance?" He offered, bringing to your attention that you were caged in by two butlers and Illumi. To make things worse for you, Illumi caught that realization in your body language and relaxed a bit knowing he'd finally got you back.            "Let's just go home. Gotoh, call the doctor for a DNA test, I'll need it for the kid." Illumi said, breaking the hateful staring contest he'd been in with you to once again look at the small, (your hair color) boy you were doing your best to keep from him.           "Fuck off, Illumi, I'm leaving." You snapped, refusing to give in without at least a tiny fight, which the man understood, but he refused to let you go again.           "That's where we're going, (y/n), home." he assured, and before you could argue again or attack him, Gotoh put a hand on your shoulder and firmly led you to the car, letting Illumi follow, in a far better mood now.

[lotusthekat]

Every little thing he does is magic

Fandom: The Owl House

Rating: G

Relationships: Luz Noceda/Hunter

Characters: Luz Noceda, Hunter (Golden Guard)

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Luz discovers more about the boy behind the Golden Guard. More specifically, his caring side.

*Not compliant with Eclipse Lake!

Word count: 1.394

AO3 / Fanfiction

A/N: I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that I’ve been thinking about this ship in the past few days, so now I wrote a very self-indulgent fic for them. My very first TOH fic for that matter. I hope this isn’t too OOC, haha.

TRIGGER WARNING - implied child abuse

HATE COMMENTS WILL BE DELETED AND BLOCKED.

--

There is… a light.

No. More than one.

The smell of fire and the magic woods welcome her senses, her brown eyes finding a small campfire and several light spells, small balls floating around, protecting her from the darkness of the mysterious forest.

Luz’s head hurts, though.

She grunts, and once she tries to try and stand…

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

The voice, at first, alarms her and she’s ready to take Eda’s staff to defend herself. Except it’s not by her side, and when she realizes, Luz is not actually in danger.

A few feet away from her is the Golden Guard – Hunter, she remembers –, sitting by the campfire with a frowning but saddened gaze. His red eyes are dark in contrast to all the light surrounding them, and besides his absent golden mask, he’s not wearing his trademark white cloak, either.

… in fact, said cloak has been covering Luz all this time.

Before the girl could question it, the little cardinal lands in front of her, chirping in happiness.

“Hey, little guy,” Luz awes in spite of her pain, allowing her to sit – with a few struggles. She notices her arm is bandaged by some ripped white cloth, apparently from the cloak.

Unlike the little Rascal, Hunter doesn’t even look at her. He looks like he’s in too deep in the fire, seeing things no one else can.

“Wh… What happened?” Luz asks, unsure.

Hunter refuses to take his eyes off the flames; he seems to hug his knees tighter.

“Kikimora found us in the woods when we tried to escape,” he replies. “Let’s just say, she was less than happy to see us.”

Bits and pieces come back to Luz, having her recall they were on a mission together; as much as she still didn’t trust him, she couldn’t quite refuse when Hunter had gone all the way to the Owl House to ask for her help, in the middle of the night, to fight off the Emperor’s Coven from eradicating the few wild magic there still is.

“Did- Did we at least take some of the wood with us?” Luz wonders, searching for her bag.

Hunter looks down. “No.”

Luz stares at him sadly.

“Sorry,” she mutters.

“… it doesn’t matter.”

“What do you mean? T-They were going to destroy it-!”

“Kikimora almost killed you!”

The tone of anger and frustration in his voice shuts Luz for good. Maybe she’s still a little doozy, but she swears she might even see Hunter’s eyes glowing thanks to the light spells.

He takes a deep breath, however, and looks far away into the dark forest.

“We barely got out of there alive,” Hunter rephrases, his voice noticeably a lot quieter, as if afraid the world might hear. “And then, when she had me cornered, you”— his hands clutch his sleeves —“you jumped in to save me.”

Luz remembers.

She replays the entire scene in her head, and she sees herself stepping in. Despite all the conflicting thoughts, Luz did not hesitate; she yelled and took the blow, and that was the last thing she saw before blacking out.

The teenage girl can’t help but hear the conflict in his words. Hunter sounds guilty and confused. Then she realizes. The white cloak still protecting her, her bandaged arm, the light spells illuminating her view…

No one has ever gone out of their way to protect him.

Knowing Lilith, Luz is aware the Emperor’s Coven is hell. Imagine then, how it must be for a teenage boy who could’ve been a normal student at Hexside, being forced to work for Belos. Luz might only see it through Hunter’s scars and his short-tempered and distant attitude, but… truly, the Emperor is not a merciful man.

It’s all he must’ve learned.

And yet he’s so desperate to get out, that he told Luz about his life, he reached out to her… and now, he’s taking care of her. This isn’t a joke, nor a plan.

Hunter must be very confused.

Luz has… so many thoughts. Strange ones. Quite usual for a human living in the Boiling Isles, really.

The little Rascal flies over to Hunter’s shoulder for comfort. The boy might flinch at first, but he relaxes his body. Luz smiles in support, while the other hides half of his face in his arms.

“Hey,” she says, scooting a little closer to him, “thanks for looking after me.”

Hunter finally snaps his head at her, and his face… becomes as red as the cardinal chirping.

“I-I—” He coughs a little too violently, “W-Well, what else could I’ve done? I couldn’t just leave you there, after I asked for your help! I mean- we still have our truce, remember?”

“Well yeah, but…” Luz gestures at the light spells that join them. “I think there’s some light inside you, after all.”

After a few seconds, Hunter groans, “That was terrible.”

Luz giggles along with the Rascal. The boy sighs it out.

“In any case, we’ll have to stay here for the night. You’re not in any condition to fly all the way back to the Owl House,” Hunter observes her, with a speck of worry. He blushes again and avoids her eyes. “Early morning, we’ll get out of here.”

Luz hums. “Roger!”

“… my name is Hunter.”

“Nevermind.”

He shrugs. “I made sure to leave traps near us. I had to use some papers of yours, though.”

“Wow, someone’s becoming a pro already?” She smirks.

“I-It’s not that hard,” Hunter scoffs, “but yeah… I’ve been practicing when I can.”

“Too bad you can’t come to my glyph lessons. I’ve been teaching Eda.”

He raises an eyebrow. “The Owl Lady?”

“Mm-hmm,” Luz grins. “You could learn a lot more from me.”

Surprisingly, Hunter smiles back. “I already do.”

The girl admits, he looks good smiling. Wait.

Noticing that, he returns to his serious persona.

“You should rest now,” Hunter advises, “the healing potion I gave you might take a while to have effect.”

“Okay,” she yawns as soon as he says it. How convenient.

As soon as she lies down, Luz watches Hunter not following his advice at all.

“Well, aren’t you gonna rest too?”

“I don’t need sleep.”

Luz frowns. “Your eyebags beg to differ.”

Hunter hisses silently, like a grumpy cat.

“Hey, we’ve had a long day, some hours of sleep won’t hurt you,” she insists.

“I can’t let my guard down again,” Hunter says firmly. He faces away from her. “I can’t ever lose focus.”

She would’ve teased him more, but it wouldn’t feel right.

“… I’ll be okay,” Luz reassures him. “You made sure we’re safe; they’ll think twice before getting to us again.”

The sixteen-year-old boy holds a very long stare, mentally trying to trust her words. Luz smiles at him with support.

“Right,” he sighs. “You win.”

Luz is, admittedly, kind of surprised he’s complying, but he must be really tired. When does he even get to rest?

Hunter lies down beside her, though he keeps his distance. It allows the Rascal to sit between them, and Luz pets the adorable little bird. As for Hunter, he turns around and she only finds his back.

“Hey, um, do you want your cloak back?” Luz asks.

“You need it more than I do. It’s cold out here.”

“You sure? Aren’t you cold, too?”

“Not really. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay…” Luz hugs the white cape close, and quickly smirks, “I might not give it back though. I’m a known heat stealer.”

Even when she doesn’t see his face, the girl can tell he’s rolling his eyes.

“Whatever. Go to sleep.”

She snorts.

Although the Boiling Isles are not generally peaceful, there’s… quite a beauty to it. Even when she’s being hunted by the evil Emperor himself, this might be one of the few moments of peace Luz’s had since arriving here.

Ironically, with the guy she once hated. She’s not too sure how to feel about him yet… but he’s really just a kid, forced into a destiny that is not his own. He’s really trying to come out of his shell, and it’s pretty sweet.

Luz might lean a little to check if he’s asleep – as it turns out, he’s already sleeping like a rock. Who knows how much he needed it.

She smiles and soon joins him, guarded by his newfound magic.

[ofdreamsanddoodles]

What are your thoughts of Laura. I'm seeing a lot of fans completely excuse what she did and although I can empathize with her I just can't say she's innocent and didn't cause a lot of pain.

in a way, the sisterhood was always complicit--not just laura. not sure how much of an element of choice they all got--i don't think they were planning on letting rita go, if she'd asked--but they all realized their involvement had gone too far. rita, someone who's only involvement with the bureau was organizing mail, still felt as though she was working for the wrong side. despite their limited power, the sisterhood had made several plans to try and shift the status quo for the better--making art, their outburst at the cafe, the flagellation--but laura hadn't taken part in any of that. all she wanted to do was win a war.

in the comics, laura's become rouge because of a blow to a head that turned her evil (i know, i know. comics, yeah?). i sort of think of this version of her as playing off of that, in a sense that now, she's incredibly two-faced. she admits to rita that a part of this had always been about the power for her. she insists, time and again, that what she did was right, because it helped win the war, but that's part of the problem. she's spent thirty years training herself to think of the people around her as potential weapons instead of someone with feelings. when you're that far gone, it doesn't really matter that she cared about the sisterhood--and i really do think she did care. wanting to protect someone for thirty years doesn't really matter much if you wake up one morning and start treating them like an old coat the thirty-first.

whatever laura planned to do in the 21st century, she was doing to because "fuck niles caulder." she's a woman operating almost entirely out of spite. she's not a nice person, because a nice person wouldn't do a thing like that. but, obviously, she wasn't always that person. even with her memories gone, laura admits she's got a bit of a problem with her rage, but she's still trying to be good. the problem is, she never stopped making the wrong choices. she went into a corrupt institution and refused to admit she caused her own corruption. she saw that her job couldn't be done if she had a heart, so she threw it away, instead of thinking that maybe, this job shouldn't be done at all.

and i mean, she did essentially traumatize all her friends by forcing them to fight in a war despite knowing it went against all of their beliefs. for seventy years. i think sometimes you've got to stop asking if someone's a good person or a bad one and just recognize that they've done something unforgivable. the feelings behind the act don't really change that

[themadauthorshatter]

Henry Stickmin Headcanons Part 2, to "celebrate" the finale of the Toppat!Charles AU(Press F to pay respects). I'll be going in and oit of the AU as well, but that will be seperate from the other headcanons

In Triple Threat, and in order, the tallest is Ellie, standing at 5'9" and Henry is the shortest at 5'4". Charles sits comfortably between them at 5'7". Neither use their powers for evil, even though it's tempting to literally something over his head sometimes.

Each member of Triple Threat has their reactions toward horror in general.

Charles is pretty unfazed by games like FNAF or anything with heavy jumpscares. He will not watch a movie with bad jumpscares(jumpscares used poorly.) He was a baby watching Sinister, The VVitch, and Lighthouse.

Ellie gets scared by just about anything, but breaks whenever she sees evil clowns specifically.

Nothing really scares Henry. Or at least he tells himself that. He's less open by getting scared, but don't tell Ellie or Charles.

Ellie and Heney, because they were in a mischief mood, tried scaring Charles. He punched Henry in the face on accident.

Charles sings really well, but only when he thinks there's no one around.

Ellie is the smartest of the trio. That doesn't mean Charles and Henry are idiots, even though they've done things that have warranted them a spot in the dumbass hall of fame.

When Rupert first joined, he'd literally never been more annoyed than when he met Charles, who, in his opinion, talked too much and didn't take anything seriously. It didn't really help that Galeforce always partnered the two, as to keep Charles safe on the ground when he couldn't directly see him. Rupert was mad at the fact he'd gone through a lot of training and was promoted to government babysitter, and it boiled out of him when Charles asked if he was okay. Rupert snapped at him, shouting at the pilot to just shut up for five minutes and actually do his part in missions, which was have Rupert's back or keep him informed of anything around them. He also yelled that Charles is incompetent and shouldn't even be in the military, as all he does is talk. He had brought this up with Galeforce, when the two got back and Charles excused himself to allow Rupert to give the report on their mission, but got a very proper scolding. He apologized to Charles when the YOUNGEST PILOT EVER got them both out of a sticky situation using some incredibly evasive maneuvers that Rupert was sure would get them killed.

After the deaths and funeral of Mr. And Mrs. Calvin, Galeforce adopted Charles, something that was in the couple's will. Charles did not talk to him for a long time, not until a rainy day that prevented any work that needed to be done. Galeforce noticed Charles sitting near either a patio door or by a window staring up at the clouds. He carefully sat next to him and admitted that he missed Charles's parents, too, saying they were very good friends of his and were always good to turn to for a smile or just to take a breather. He couldn't imagine how Charles felt, but he still missed them and was sorry all the same. That's when Galeforce noticed a card Charles was holding to his chest; a birthday card, one that read, "Charlie, if you're reading this, know that your father and I love you very much. No matter what, always remember that. We couldn't have asked for a better son, one as silly, smart, and ambitious as you. We will always love you. I'm sorry. Love, Mom," from Charles's mother and, "Hey, hawk. If you're reading this, it means something really bad happened to us both. Sorry we won't make it back for your birthday, more specifically that I broke my promise to you. You deserve to be happy, and I hope you can do that again someday. Charles, you can miss us, you can be sad, you can cry, it's more than okay to. I just hope one day you can smile and be happy again for us. I'm sorry. Your mother loves you, Charlie. I love you so much, son. Love, Dad," from Charles's father. There smugdes on some parts of the card, some old and some new, and it especially struck Galeforce that the two extremely sad messages shouldn't have been on a nine year old's birthday card. Galeforce apologized for not being Charles's parents, though told him that he'd try to be what they were, maybe more. He didn't talk, but Charles did huddle closer to his side and Galeforce put an arm around him as they continued watching the rain.

Do not challenge Charles to a foot race. He will outrun you.

Do not challenge Ellie to an arm wrestling match. She will always win.

Do not challenge Henry to an underwater how-long-can-I-hold-my-breathe challenge. You will most likely drown.

Triple Threat beat each other in their respective challenges/contests by cheating/sabotaging each other; Henry will try tackling Charles while Ellie will try to trip him, Charles will try kicking Ellie's chair to push it away while Henry teams up with him to try and push her arm down, and Ellie will throw little pool torpedoes at Henry, which is more passive than Charles shouting, "This is the greatest PLAAAAAAN!" and cannonballing in before wrestling Henry back above water.

Charles wakes up Ellie and Henry in various methods, since he's usually up first: He'll usually use an alarm, but sometimes, when he's really energetic, he bangs pots and pans together, gets a teakettle singing, uses and airhorn, and, the most extreme he's ever gone, taped a brown lunch bag to a leaf blower and brought a really bright light into both their rooms, rigging the devices to a light switch. With a snicker, he began to play that army/military wake up song on a trumpet with a megaphone taped to it and flipped the switch.

Both of them were ready to kill him.

Henry was initially left at an orphanage, but he was adopted at the age of seven. He was brought up well enough, until one of his parents started noticing that he was acting "weird," as in his 'ability' to see his choices and fails. This parent started ignoring him and told him to start acting normal or he'd be sent back to the orphanage. The other parent, the one that also noticed but didn't want to talk about it, still loved him, though started to get a little irritated when their partner left out of spite; "Either I go or the crazy brat goes." The other parent re-married and this new step-parent was nicer, but happened to wirk as a janitor for the CCC, and warned Henry to be careful with his 'powers' because the people the step-parent worked for weren't nice and would do bad things to him. The step-parent meant well, but Henry, having the memories of the parent that left fresh in his mind, took it as a threat to behave, which made him a very anxious kid. Anxious enough to become a kleptomaniac and pickpocket to relieve stress.

Ellie had the most normal life, having two parents and a brother, but turned to a life of thieving because the pressure of being a good person and her family's view of a black and white world drove her crazy.

You would have to be crazy to try and take on all three members of Triple Threat at once.

The trio sometimes share a room and bed, because of nightmares and they don't want to be alone.

Yeah. Triple Threat is basically a found family.

Ellie is the father and Henry and Charles are her two, wonderful, dumbass children, even though there are times the two take turns being the mother.

Now, ONTO SOME POST TOPPAT!CHARLES AU STUFF! This is kind of like an Epilogue, so buckle in.

Triple Threat gets two weeks off to fully recover. (Thank goodness)

They return to their apartment and go straight to bed, though they actually just camp out in the living room.

They still sleep like the dead; they wake up LATE the next day, at 4 in the afternoon.

Breakfast for dinner.

Even when they know they should go back to sleep around 10 pm, they stay up and watch movies. They let Charles pick, and he chooses a collection of Looney Tunes, Merry Melodies, and even the Looney Tunes Show.

Henry and Ellie notice him giggling whenever Daffy's on screen, and can't help but wonder why, though they don't ask when he also gets tears in his eyes. He explains later that he used to watch the old version of Looney Tunes and Merry Melodies with his parents and even Galeforce, sometimes, even though it was something that happened less frequently as Charles grew and became a more solid part of the military.

They stay up all night, taking turns watching movies, making small talk, and just enjoying each other's company.

Charles does have an episode when they're making lunch the next day when he accidentally drops a glass and has a flashback of Right killing the pilot of a destroyer sent to rescue him. It is a nerve wracking memory and it leads him to breaking down on the floor. Henry and Ellie do help him out of it, but he refuses to share what he saw with them. They don't push it and tell him to feel free to share whenever he's ready.

They keep an eye on him when he takes his ADD medicine, just to be safe.

They often go outside to do workouts, because they don't want to break anything in the apartment. Charles keeps up with them, and they simply enjoy the breeze and the outside when they're done.

Henry and Ellie do talk about what she told Henry back in Part 6, and she apologizes for not telling Henry sooner, also admitting that she was scared he would abandon her, if she told him. Needless to say, Henry's just glad the three of them are together.

Charles is welcomed back much more warmly when they return from their break.

First daybback and it's out of the frying pan and into the flame, because they have another group of thieves to deal with, smaller than the Toppat Clan, but still noticable: a biker gang that's here to steal stuff by any means necessary and be an insane headache for police and people on the road.

They don't know much now, but they will when the gang is followed in the air.

Galeforce offers Charles to fly and get some possible intell, though says that if he isn't comfortable with it he can back out.

Charles agrees, and says with an excited, nervous smile that he's missed being in the air.

Galeforce makes sure Henry and Ellie keep an eye on him, which they promise to do, before everyone sets out, Charles taking a seat in his fixed up helicopter with Henry and Ellie behind him.

With a deep breath, they head out, ready to do some government recon, which they're successful in.

At The Wall, Dmitri is grumbly and still a little pissed at how Henry got away AGAIN, but has to admit it's good to not have to worry about the Toppat Clan anymore, most of whom being in maximum security cells.

Right is bored as hell, but is glad that his cellmate is Reginald; Right's missing his cybernetic arm from the elbow down, his legs have been downgraded to be normal legs, and he is no longer OP.

Reg apologizes for letting this happen to the clan, but Right assures him it's not his fault, self deprecatingly admitting that he may have been stupid for MAYBE crossing the line. Reg can't help but softly chide him for it.

Right promises that they'll get out, though Reginald only snuggles into him more, saying it can happen in good time, but right now he just wants to be close to Right a little longer.

The CCC hasn't gotten a single major chaos reading since the orbital station was destroyed and the clan was arrested. Bill Bullet chuckles a simple, "Not bad, kid," as he leaves his readers to their work.

Terrence is kicking back in his new room, lying in a bed as he reads a book. He's enjoyed having regular, warm showers, access to a razor to shave, and, mostly, a sky that didn't have the orbital station in it; it leaves a bad taste in his mouth that Reginald actually outdid him, sending the clan in space for a short time.

He chuckles at the fact that Henry would've been a damned good leader, mostly because he could see overthrowing HIM to be easy. "Too bad he joined the government instead," Terrence sighs with a shrug before he burts into laughter, mad, hysterical laughter. It really would've been fun to see Henry as the leader of the Toppat Clan.😉

Back with Triple Threat, after their mission as they sit on a hill that would've held Charles grave, if this was Valiant Hero. They're quiet, enjoying the sunset and the sound of the waves below, not ready to go home yet.

Even though they're all quiet, Charles tips his head back and takes a deep breath, taking in the sun, the air, everything, before returning his gaze to the sunset.

"Man," he breathes, "I've... really missed this."

Ellie replies that she has as well, Henry nodding in agreement.

They all watch the remainder of the sunset, though, quite nicely, all three are holding each other's hands and smiling to themselves

[mc-critical]

Would you agree that it’s almost impossible for motherhood in the harem to not be toxic to some degree? Especially so in mother-daughter relationships, but still prominent in mother-son relationships as well. (Also I’m not making this observation about harem motherhood to say that harem fatherhood is a lesser evil or non-toxic. If anything it’s even more toxic and damaging..especially given that it was such a norm for fathers to kill their children and feel completely justified in doing so, but that’s a discussion for another day.) I’ve observed this in almost every mother in the series. With Hafsa and her daughters (remember Sah at Mihrimah’s wedding talking about how her mother forced her and all of her sister’s to marry, and based on what it sounded like, at an extremely young age against their will), with Halime and Dilruba (Halime was geniunely okay with the possibility that Dilruba might die after Kösem kidnapped her if it meant sparing Mustafa’s life), with Hürrem and Mihrimah (forcing her to marry Rüstem at 17 years of age and using manipulation for years to keep her daughter in an unhappy marriage). The list goes on and these are just a few examples but I can’t not see a pattern here. Even with their princes there was the constant forcing a love-interest for upon their sons (Mahidevran I believe forced Fatma on Mustafa if I remember correctly? My memory is spotty there so tell me if I’m wrong) or eliminating their sons love interests in often brutal ways if it was self-serving (Hürrem killing Beyezeid’s harem to cover up Huricihan’s murder.) I almost believe there is no way for motherhood/fatherhood to be completely healthy in an enviornment like the harem especially given the examples.

Yes, I definetly agree with you on this one. It's truly almost impossible for mothers to not be toxic in some way in the environment that is the harem, because so much of it is dedicated on perpetuating such toxic behavior in both the dynastic and non-dynastic sultanas.

The first and foremost thing a woman who has just entered in the harem has to think about is how to survive, how to lend in a more comfortable position. And the first step in doing that is going to a halvet and bearing a child from the sultan. But that's not so easy, since she both has to make a solid impression and fight so many rivals on the way. The harem encourages competitiveness, putting people against each other for a single goal and the ambition to climb yourself as high in the hierarchy as you can, all of which leads to constant stress, paranoia and opportunism. As we see with so many characters and their arcs throughout the series, the longer you get to be in the harem, the longer you adapt to the system (which is a central theme of the franchise for a reason), the longer you endure, you just get used to it and at many aspects, absorb it. It's only natural at this point this would transfer to the children of the mothers, as well, because they are not only children, they are, as sad and unfortunate as it is, the keys to both full survival and success in the harem that can turn into tools for their mothers to mould when it's necessary. Because these mothers perfectly acknowledge that they aren't alone. When you bear a child, you do get to have a sense of comfort, but that comfort is only temporary and by the realization that there are other mothers with other children that will turn into deadly rivals for your own child, it slowly transitions into the next phase of the game of life in the harem: the fight for the throne where you have to fight harder than ever, actually. The most difficult part of it all seems to be just beginning and you have to use your best virtues as a player in the harem to win the war the system put you into. And a healthy relationship with your children, as we know it, sadly isn't a part of that.

There is this one exact aspect of the toxicity of some mothers you referred to here that comes more due to the exertion of the "mother knows best" attitude. No matter how many allies and supporters their one prince, in example, has, the mother is the one who would always vouch for him and would never turn his back on him, if only they're their ticket to more piece or that they've truly come to love him as they should. The system demands of the mother to raise the prince the best way she knows how and gain as much political advantage as she can, that including all these infamous political marriages. The mothers have to at least give their children sound advice of all things and that's what they also become used to, more or less. And them having these obligations, in a way, to their children, along with having gone through what they have in the harem, all make them believe that their children don't know better. They're the ones that have gone through this and have to stay strong and act pragmatically, not these children that have yet to find out what is going on. And even when they grow older, there is this decent possibility they won't realize the stakes of the game. MCK Bayezid is the most notorious example, with him living a fairly comfy life under Kösem's care when it comes to this that only vanished after Gülbahar came to the castle and he became the favourized heir of the throne and yet, Gülbahar still had to constantly remind him for so long that "he's the center of the fire" and that "they're in a war". MC Mustafa often refused to make pragmatic decisions that would've basically spared his life. Hürrem literally tells Cihangir that he shouldn't meddle in these things, because she knows better and thinks he can't tell the difference from right and wrong. So the mothers usually consider themselves forced to make the hard decisions instead of them, trying to keep all aspects of their life in check. That's why they meddle so much in their love lives, as well, along with their personal opinion and bias for the women they chose to be with, of course. Mahidevran and Valide wanted to marry Mustafa and Aybige for both reasons - Mahidevran both doesn't like Efsun and found the upper hand in a marriage with Aybige. {though it is important to note that Mahidevran specifically monitors Mustafa's love life because of the fear of the possibility of the next Hürrem, too, whose arrival and tradition breaking in the castle are still very deep wounds for her. She got over that eventually with Rumeysa and Mihrunnisa, but it was there and it was really showing at first. She sent Fatma to a halvet in E50 with the intent to distract Efsun away from Mustafa, but when Efsun was already dead, Mahidevran was strictly against all her attempts to sabotage the other concubine Mahidevran was sending and win Mustafa over and even decided to not send her to Manisa exclusively for that, disguising it with that she currently needs her in the castle.} I'm taking about the princes, but it obviously applies to the daughters, too, of course, especially Mihrimah, who also had a long way to go until she figured out what is the game all about and even then that only worked when it was connected to the protection of the family and Hürrem knew it. And while the daughters are perceived to have "less value" than the princes, bound to become sultans, as seen with Halime's relationship with Dilruba, they still play a significant part in the game and help the princes gain yet more security and the mothers influence the matters much more through the vezier or pasha the daughter has married. And it's as important to find the proper candidate, which is why Hürrem was against Taşlicalı and she broke her promise to marry Mihrimah to the person she loved. Leave it to the mothers to make the opportunistic choices that their grown-up children sometimes won't be able to make.

The fight for survival also triggers severe amount of protectiveness that plays a part in the toxicity of the mothers. They always have to keep an eye on the children, because there is the possibility of someone trying to attack them or someone else to try taking advantage of them, which is why, as well as attempting to dictate their actions, they always want to track every single move the sons and/or daughters make in order to dictate their actions. There is this prominent fear of backstabbing, betrayal and murder attempts that just can't let these mothers think or act otherwise.

It's tricky because even though some of them get so engrained into this it becomes a personality trait of theirs or apply personal gained bias when they embrace their toxic motherhood traits, they try their best to maintain cordial relations with their children and show them their genuine affection. There are so many profound mother-son and mother-daughter relationships that are either incredibly interesting on their own, either have so many human interactions with their sons or daughters, in spite of the circumstances. And in the case of, say, Halime and Mustafa, but almost all these relationships qualify, the huge amount of such interactions creates a very fine line between the tender affection and the toxicity the system causes them to show, which is why maybe it could be missed to an extent, but the narrative still does its best to make it obvious enough. It's so sad and chilling that the life in the harem just won't let healthy dynamics in general and if one starts to think for a second that the children may be an exception because they are the closest link to their mothers and the ones most likely to reveal their humanity, it soon becomes clear that this is far from the case. The system leaves nothing and no one untouched.

It becomes even tougher when, knowing the law of Fatih, a mother has to choose between her princes in the inevitable scenario where only they are the only heirs of the throne left. There every possible ounce of a healthy dynamic leaves much faster than usual, because the mothers have to realize sooner or later that they do actually have to make a choice. They love them all with the bottom of their hearts, but there is only one more fit to rule. And there is never a guarantee that the "chosen" or the only surviving prince will never dare to think about executing the law. That choice seems ludicrous, because how would a mother choose from her own children? This conflict is icredibly exploited through Hürrem in S04. She undergoes a subtle arc that has her deal with this precise moral dilemma. It tore apart her belief that the fight would be over after Mustafa's death and all her flaws in terms of Selim and Bayezid's parenting came back to her, with her seeing the problems and inevitable power struggle between them in their fullest power. She couldn't bring things back now, for their conflict had already gone too far. So she goes through fairly lengthy denial of the choice at hand and tries her best to search for a peaceful solution, for both of them to be able to "coexist", but she eventually realizes that this wouldn't be possible and when she did, it was way. too. late. And Hürrem had her preferred candidate for the throne regardless, so when you face that struggle as a mother, it's impossible for your relationship with your children to not be toxic in a way. And I know many mothers out there would relate with Hürrem's internal conflict when it came to this, because no matter how much they've adapted to the circumstances, these are their children, aren't they? The children of their own blood they cared for their whole life up to that moment! How damaging would that be for a mother? Kösem as a mother faced an even more extreme display of this, because she had too many princes and a son on the throne; she not only had to choose between them, she had to eliminate them as a desparate, but apparently necessary measure - she had presumably won, but then she came to realize that her son couldn't rule the country and didn't listen to any advice. As I've said before, her whole S02 arc was her coming to terms that she had to eventually eliminate him, for he stands against not only the country, but her as a representation of said country. She infamously sealed the pact to kill Ibrahim also because he apparently wasn't fit for the country. That tore her apart, but she did it anyway. In her time period, I dare say it's even harder to not have some kind of toxicity present in the mother's relationship with her children, because of its more dynamic rhythm and the ways of ruling in it where women, which are naturally mothers, too, are at the peak of their power and are way more likely to do stuff for its sake alone than in Süleiman's time. So we could argue that it's not only impossible for mothers not to show toxicity in the harem, but that toxicity increased as the franchise progressed, cementing the core contrast between MC and MCK: power for the sake of personal motives vs. power for the sake of power. That obviously has to impact the mothers, for they truly are the main players in this whole game.

I can't lie that it's more probable for the dynastic sultanas (that are not daughters of the sultan) to not show toxicity to their children, since they don't really have that survival fight in front of them and they have to build their families, live in a castle with them and that's about it, but then another problem arises - they have grown in the harem, they have grown with this toxicity. They have been taught this their whole life. They and their children can't exactly have healthy relationships, because the established hierarchy in the harem and the positions of these mothers are stopping them. They are gonna live with the mindset that the son is more important than the daughter (we have Hatice wanting her first baby to be a son) and even if the child is a girl, they would be constantly reminded of their social standing, that they have the blood of the dynasty. Yes, this is way less toxic, but could still bring problems and can't be healthy in a literal sense. Not to mention that ambition within a member of the dynasty isn't a concept to be discarded - Şah Sultan is the perfect example of this, with her wanting to marry Esmahan to Bali Bey, not just because her daughter is okay with this, but also because that marriage would be useful to her goals. Esmahan being the one who proposed it in the first place (as far as I recall?) and her wanting to put it in motion a lot, was only sheer luck.

Motherhoods in the harem are indeed fascinating, but toxic in one way or another. There is a clear pattern in all these relationships that is bound to show itself at some point and the fight for survival may cause mothers to put their own needs above the ones of their children's. And that kept going on and on for the longest time. There's so much humanity in these relationships, but a considerable amount of toxicity, too, that I blame mostly on this gross system.

[Fatherhood in the harem is truly even more toxic, destructive and even dangerous in many areas. Most fathers we've seen in the franchise are sultans and the sultans are notorious with their relenting paranoia of betrayal that manages to go over their own heads. I can go on and on how the same paranoia screwed every single sign of a healthy dynamic between a father and a son especially, rendering it totally nonexistent in a while, but that's truly a post for another day.]

[hamliet]

Am I My Brother’s Keeper?: Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng

Or, how the two most virulent Wen-haters in the story tragically mirror each other in far more ways than just their issues with the Wens. 

I’ve written about MDZS’s use of character trios as a narrative structure before (here and here). In this meta I’m going to talk about the main three and the Venerated Triad. I’ve also written before about how Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao’s relationship (however you interpret it) parallels Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian’s, with Lan Xichen as a strong Lan Wangji foil (fitting, as they are the “Twin Jades”), and Jin Guangyao as a strong Wei Wuxian foil (as Wei Wuxian himself acknowledges in the story’s final chapter). So let’s talk about the third member of these trios: Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng, who also closely foil each other... in particular, through their respective relationships with Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian. 

But wait, you say. Jin Guangyao killed Nie Mingjue, which parallels Jiang Cheng killing Wei Wuxian!

True. There are some parallels between Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao (such as JC killing WWX to avenge JYL, even though she wouldn’t have wanted that, and JGY doing it when NMJ hurts NHS, even though NHS adored NMJ), as well as between Chengxian and Xiyao, but this is not a meta about those specifically. 

Nie Mingjue tried to kill Jin Guangyao in life (twice), and actually does do so in the end, and Jiang Cheng helped kill Wei Wuxian even if he did not do it directly. The reason both Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng were able to treat their brothers like this was because of their immense privilege, the privilege neither acknowledge until it is time to weaponize it. In those moments, both chose not to empathize but to see their brothers as an “other” instead of as someone they loved (and I do think both Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng loved Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian in a realistic, flawed way). In the otherizing of their brothers, both Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng put on robes displaying society’s flaws as blatantly as Sect Leader Yao does, but with a lot more humanity than the flat, static Sect Leader Yao. Thus, MXTX tells us we cannot even “other” society as a whole. 

If this sounds like I’m hating on either character, I’m really not intending to. They’re great characters and I enjoy both of them (Jiang Cheng’s one of my very favorites), but they’re flawed, and in fact that’s the whole reason I like them. But I do admit this essay will be scathing to an extent; just know it doesn’t touch on my whole opinion of their characters, and isn’t meant to excuse Wei Wuxian (who had a savior complex) and Jin Guangyao (who sought society’s approval to his own doom); I’ve just previously excoriated those two.

I. Defining Justice as Trauma 

Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng both lost their fathers to Wen Ruohan (as did the Lan brothers), and both vowed to wipe out the Wens as a result. However, both of them fail to think about the Wens as people, and wind up, well, becoming eerily similar to the worst Wens.

Jiang Cheng has lived through the pain of losing everything (status, family, home) and he not only refuses compassion for the two Wens who saved him so that he could fight to get those things back, but inflicts the same traumas on them. In fact, Jiang Cheng’s reaction to Wen Qing’s predicament post-Sunshot campaign is paralleled explicitly with Nie Mingjue’s:

Jiang Cheng’s brows were knitted. He rubbed the vein that throbbed at his temple and soundlessly took in a deep breath, “… I apologize to all of the Sect Leaders. Everyone, I’m afraid you don’t know that the Wen cultivator whom Wei WuXian wanted to save was called Wen Ning. We owe him and his sister Wen Qing gratitude for what happened during the Sunshot Campaign.”

Nie MingJue, “You owe them gratitude? Isn’t the QishanWen Sect the ones who caused the YunmengJiang Sect’s annihilation?”

...

Lan XiChen responded a moment later, “I have heard of Wen Qing’s name a few of times. I do not remember her having participated in any of the Sunshot Campaign’s crimes.”

Nie MingJue, “But she’s never stopped them either.”

Lan XiChen, “Wen Qing was one of Wen RuoHan’s most trusted people. How could she have stopped them?”

Nie MingJue spoke coldly, “If she responded with only silence and not opposition when the Wen Sect was causing mayhem, it’s the same as indifference. She shouldn’t have been so disillusioned as to hope that she could be treated with respect when the Wen Sect was doing evil and be unwilling to suffer the consequences and pay the price when the Wen Sect was wiped out.”

Lan XiChen knew that because of what happened to his father, Nie MingJue abhorred Wen-dogs more than anything, especially with how intolerable he was toward evil. Lan XiChen didn’t say anything else.

There’s a lot of irony in this. Wen Qing didn’t speak up because she wanted to protect her little brother--something Nie Mingjue should have been able to relate to, considering he sent Huaisang to safety in the Cloud Recesses during the war. Also, I mean, Nie Mingjue, you didn’t exactly rise up against Wen Ruohan until you knew you had the forces to win. He likely spent several years in begrudging deference to him, even sending Nie Huaisang along as tribute when Wen Chao demanded it. Jiang Cheng starts to do the right thing in this scene  by speaking honestly about Wen Qing, but then Nie Mingjue reminds him of society and propriety, and Jiang Cheng  backs down, crushed under society again. Both of them commit sins of omission, in that they stand back and allow society to belittle and vilify people.

The “sins of omission” is a motif that continues in both Nie Mingjue’s and Jiang Cheng’s arcs. For example, Jiang Cheng stood by to let Mianmian be brutally killed in the cave of the Xuanwu of Slaughter, and even stood by to let Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan die too as they protected her. He goes on to blame Wei Wuxian for the deaths of his family because of Wei Wuxian saving them. Nie Mingjue keeps the truth about the saber spirit from Nie Huaisang, and additionally, the very same conversation about Wen Qing referenced above, Nie Mingjue is directly stated to know Jin Guangyao is lying to help his father, and he says nothing at all even though Wei Wuxian’s life hung in the balance. (It then karmically backfires on Jin Guangyao).

Jin GuangYao came to save the day, exclaiming, “Really? That day, Young Master Wei busted into Koi Tower with such force. He said too many things, one more shocking than the next. Perhaps he said a few things that were along those lines. I can’t remember them either.”

... As soon as he heard it, Nie MingJue knew that he was fibbing on purpose, frowning slightly.

...

One of the sect leaders added, “...Excuse my bluntness, but he’s the son of a servant. How could the son of a servant be so arrogant?”

With him having brought up the ‘son of a servant’, naturally there’d be some who connected it to the ‘son of a prostitute’ standing in the hall. Jin GuangYao clearly noticed the unkind stares. 

While Nie Mingjue is quick to accuse Wen Qing for her inaction but languid with his own, this isn’t exactly unique. He also is quick to accuse Jin Guangyao of standing by as Jin Guangshan manipulates to acquit Xue Yang for his crimes against the Chang Clan. (I’m not defending Jin Guangshan or Jin Guangyao in this.) How dare they stand there and not argue for justice? 

In spite of Nie MingJue being a junior to Jin GuangShan, he conducted himself in a strict manner and refused to tolerate Xue Yang no matter what. With an angry lecture, Jin GuangShan was left with no words and a great deal of embarrassment. Nie MingJue, as the irritable person he was, unsheathed his saber on the spot with the intention of killing Xue Yang. Even when his sworn younger brother LianFang-Zun, Jin GuangYao, attempted to ease the situation, he ordered him to leave. After a harsh scolding, Jin GuangYao hid behind Lan XiChen, not daring to say anything else. In the end, the LanlingJin Sect could only give in.

But, Nie Mingjue never offers a critique of Jin Guangshan when Jin Guangshan lied to Nie Mingjue’s face about Meng Yao. He discovered that Jin Guangyao’s stepmother is routinely beating him, and Nie Mingjue does nothing. Even if his hands were tied, if he really cared about doing the right thing, why didn’t he intervene somehow, some way, for his brother? If he really cared about holding people responsible for their actions, about making sure justice was served above everything else, why is it that the only person he consistently holds accountable is Jin Guangyao?

Could it be that, much like society, what Nie Mingjue was angry about was not injustice, but actually his hurting self? His hurt pride, his hurt child self still reeling from the cruel way Wen Ruohan betrayed his father and left him to die an agonizing death?

Likewise, Jiang Cheng knows, when he leads the siege at the Burial Mounds against the Wens, that no Wen there is dangerous. They are all elderly or children, not soldiers. He knows even that his sister died saving Wei Wuxian’s life, but chooses to ignore her wishes to satiate his own anger and the inner child inside of him still crying in loneliness. No one had ever chosen Jiang Cheng: his mother viewed him as a disappointment, and his father preferred Wei Wuxian, but Wei Wuxian promised to stick by Jiang Cheng no matter what. When Wei Wuxian breaks this promise, Jiang Cheng never gets over this, and carries out revenge on him for choosing actual justice over staying close to Jiang Cheng (looking back, this adds a symbolic irony to Jiang Cheng refusing to intervene and save Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan in the cave: they are both the people who will be his siblings’ spouses).

But the sad reality is, it’s a false dichotomy. Wei Wuxian did not choose the Wens over Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng, like society, chose society and conformity over Wei Wuxian.

I’ve said it before, but while Jin Guangyao isn’t correct that the siege on the Burial Mounds is “all” Jiang Cheng’s fault, he’s not wrong when he makes this point:

“But what you have to understand is that, for what happened to Young Master Wei in the end, you are responsible too and in fact, you are very much so. Why did so many people crusade against the YiLing Patriarch? Why did they shout their support, no matter if they were involved or not? Why was he one-sidedly condemned by so many? Was it really their sense of justice? Of course not. A part of the reason is you.”

...

“… Back then, the LanlingJin Sect, the QingheNie Sect, and the GusuLan Sect had already finished fighting over the biggest share. The rest could only get some small shrimps. You, on the other hand, had just rebuilt Lotus Pier and behind you was the YiLing Patriarch, Wei WuXian, the danger of whom was immeasurable. Do you think the other sects would like to see a young sect leader who was so advantaged? Luckily, you didn’t seem to be on good terms with your shixiong, and since everyone thought there was an opportunity, of course they’d add fuels to your fire if they could. No matter what, to weaken the YunmengJiang Sect was to strengthen themselves. Sect Leader Jiang, if only your attitude towards your shixiong was just a bit better, showing everyone that your bond was too strong to be broken for them to have a chance, or if you exhibited just a bit more tolerance after what happened, things wouldn’t have become what they were. Oh, speaking of it, you were also a main force of the siege at Burial Mound…”

II. Privilege 

The main villain of all of MXTX’s novels is privilege (I’ve touched on this here and here and here). Unfortunately, both Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue are heavily infected with it, and it’s partially why they treat others as they do. 

Jiang Cheng speaks negatively of Mianmian in chapter 56, noting that she’s probably just the daughter of a servant. When Wei Wuxian challenges this by pointing out he is also the son of a servant, Jiang Cheng expresses that Wei Wuxian is somehow different (and to be fair, he is indeed treated with more respect because of Jiang Fengmian’s background with Wei Wuxian’s mother), but the implication is also classist. Ironically, again, when Jiang Cheng will not speak up for Wei Wuxian or Wen Qing during that same conversation referenced earlier, Mianmian does; though Nie Mingjue expresses admiration of her for doing so, he does not do the same. 

Additionally, Jiang Cheng says the following about Jin Guangyao:

Wei WuXian, “Isn’t Jin GuangYao here now? Jin GuangYao seems so much better than him.”

Jiang Cheng... “So what, if he’s better? No matter how much better he is, no matter how clever, he could only be a servant who greets the guests. That’s all there is to his life. He can’t compare with Jin ZiXuan.”

This pretty much sums up how society treats Jin Guangyao, and Jiang Cheng doesn’t think to question it. Wei Wuxian, on the other hand, points to Jin Guangyao’s character, which at that point looked decent (even if... later... sigh). Additionally, it’s hard not to see this as a commentary on how people think Wei Wuxian should be acting. Even though Jiang Cheng is, er, wrong about how far Jin Guangyao can rise, he contrasts with Jin Guangyao in how Jin Guangyao builds the lookout towers to provide justice for the common people, while Jiang Cheng encourages Jin Ling’s initially snobbish behavior (leaving common people in traps).

Not only that, but Jiang Cheng routinely commits atrocities under his protection as a sect leader. He’s described as having whipped the flesh off the backs of people accused of demonic cultivation, and supposedly no one arrested for that survived his tortures (ironically, Wen Ruohan is also known for torture). As someone pointed out once, the people who would turn to demonic cultivation are likely those unable to form golden cores (Wei Wuxian), or those taken in as disciples too late/too untalented to do so (Mo Xuanyu); Xue Yang was also taken in late as a disciple, but is noted to be unusually talented. The interesting thing is that all three of these people are from impoverished, humble origins. Thus it’s very likely the people Jiang Cheng was arresting and torturing to death were not wealthy cultivators (not to mention other sects would complain if so), but common folk. 

As for Nie Mingjue, Jin Guangyao goes further than Wei Wuxian and directly attempts to challenge Nie Mingjue to acknowledge his privilege with brutal honesty on his own part, only for it to go... poorly.

Nie MingJue, “There’s no need for explanations. Come back to me with Xue Yang’s head in your hand.”

Jin GuangYao still wanted to speak, but Nie MingJue had already lost all patience, “Meng Yao, don’t speak such pretentious words in front of me. Your whole thing stopped working on me since a long time ago!”

Within a second, a few degrees of unease flashed over Jin GuangYao’s face, as though someone with an unmentionable illness was suddenly exposed in the public. There was nowhere for him to hide.

He spoke, “My whole thing? Which whole thing? Brother, you’ve always yelled at me for calculating people and being too dishonorable. You say that you’re a proud, righteous person, that you aren’t afraid of anything, that propen men shouldn’t need to play with schemes. That’s fine. Your background is noble and your cultivation is high. But what about me? Am I the same as you? First, my cultivation isn’t as firm as yours. Ever since I was born, has anyone taught me? And second, I have no prominent background. Do you think that I’m in a steady position, here at the LanlingJin Sect? Do you think that I can rise into power the moment Jin ZiXuan dies? Jin GuangShan would rather bring another illegitimate child back than want me to succeed him! You think that I should be afraid of nothing? Well I’m afraid of everything, even other people! He whose stomach is full believes not him who is starving.”

Nie MingJue replied coldly, “In the end, all you mean is that you don’t want to kill Xue Yang, that you don’t want your position at the LanlingJin Sect to waver.”

Jin GuangYao, “Of course I don’t!”

He looked up, unknown fires dancing within his eyes, “But, Brother, I have always wanted to ask you something—the lives under your hands are in any regard more than those under mine, so why is it that I only killed a few cultivators out of desperation and you keep on bringing it up, even until now?”

Nie MingJue was so enraged that he began to laugh, “Good! I’ll give you my answer. Countless souls who have fallen under my saber, but I’ve never killed out of my own desires, much less to climb up the ladder!”

Jin GuangYao, “Brother, I understand what you mean. Are you saying that all of the people you killed deserved their deaths?”

With courage gathered from nowhere, he laughed and walked a few steps closer to Nie MingJue. His voice raised as well, asking in an almost aggressive manner, “Then, may I ask, just how do you decide if someone deserves death? Are your standards absolutely correct? If I kill one but save hundreds, would the good outweigh the bad, or would I still deserve death? To do great things, sacrifices must happen.”

Nie MingJue, “Then why don’t you sacrifice yourself? Are you any nobler than them? Are you any different from them?”

Jin GuangYao stared at him. A moment later, as though he had finally either decided on something or given up on something, he replied calmly, “Yes.”

He looked up. In his expression were some of pride, some of calmness, and some of a faint insanity, “I and they, of course we are different!”

Nie MingJue was infuriated by his words and his expression.

He raised his foot. Yet, Jin GuangYao neither avoided nor took defense. The kick landed right on him, and again he rolled like a pebble down Carp Tower.

Nie Mingjue, here, is being compared to two other people: the man who kicked Meng Yao down the stairs at a brothel as the man dragged Meng Shi outside naked to humiliate her, and with Jin Guangshan--the very person Nie Mingjue’s enraged with--by doing the same thing: kicking someone he views as lower than himself down the stairs. Instead of addressing the actual problem (Jin Guangshan), he finds a scapegoat. It’s not a good look. All three of these instances are linked with society standing by and allowing it to happen, with a few exceptions: Sisi intervenes with Meng Shi, and Lan Xichen intervenes to stop Nie Mingjue from killing Jin Guangyao. 

Nie Mingjue never had to kill to climb the ladder within his sect. He did have to kill to climb the ladder in the cultivational world--and he actually did so, through killing the Wens. Yes, I know Nie Mingjue killed the Wens because he wanted revenge for his father and protection for himself and his brother, but the problem is... that’s exactly what motivated Jin Guangyao: protection. Jin Guangyao just had more to fear than Nie Mingjue.

The irony of the above scene that Jin Guangyao knows killing is wrong, but it’s how to survive in this world, so he does it anyways. Nie Mingjue thinks the problem of someone thinking they are entitled to kill can be solved by killing the one who says such a thing, because he’s entitled to kill someone who thinks they’re entitled to kill-- You get the point.

That sad thing is that being shoved down the stairs doesn’t even end that scene. Nie Mingjue directly attempts to murder Jin Guangyao:

Just as Nie MingJue unsheathed his saber, Lan XiChen happened to leave the palace to see what was going on, concerned after having waited for long. Seeing the situation before him, he unsheathed Shuoyue as well, “What happened, this time?”

...

Nie MingJue, “... I know what I’m doing. He’s beyond hope. If these keeps on going, he’ll do the world harm for sure. The earlier he’s killed, the earlier we can relax!”

This does not at all justifying Jin Guangyao’s subsequent murder of him, but again, Jin Guangyao kills to protect himself, and he’s not without cause for fear of his life (this does not justify, because neither is Nie Mingjue entirely without cause, but people have gotta acknowledge that reality). 

III. Reasons to Kill

I often see Nie Mingjue held up as someone who judged people based on their actions and was countercultural in that he was willing to stand up to Jin Guangshan when Jin Guangshan wanted to acquit Xue Yang of slaughtering the Chang Clan. However, this is decidedly not the case. Nie Mingjue is very much acting within society’s principals here (calling someone else out is hardly unique or noble: see, Su She, Jin Zixun, etc.) Nie Mingjue stood up to Jin Guangshan then because the crime was so severe he knew he might actually be able to win; otherwise, he let Jin Guangshan do as he wished. 

To illustrate this, I’ll share the  piping hot tea a commentator spilled on one of my fics recently, because she says it perfectly:

She isn’t wrong. You can hold Xue Yang--and Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian, for that matter--responsible for their actions and also point out the hypocrisy of a society that holds to ideals of how people behave, yet is constantly making exceptions for themselves. Nie Mingjue does just this by demanding Xue Yang’s head as a price for not killing his own sworn brother. Jiang Cheng does just this by murdering the older, helpless Wens at the Burial Mounds, and turning his back on the Wens who saved Jiang Cheng’s own life.

Why do these characters kill?

Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng killed out of revenge to honor their families and save themselves.

Jin Guangyao killed to get his father to acknowledge him as his son, and then in revenge when he realized he never would, and to save himself.

Wei Wuxian killed out of revenge and then out of despair--really, revenge against the whole cultivational world that had set him up for failure no matter what he did.

Xue Yang killed out of revenge for his little finger.

What do all of these have in common? They reveal what each person prized.

Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue prized the honor of their culture and of society.

Wei Wuxian prized his loved ones.

Jin Guangyao prized himself as his father’s son, a sort of combination of JC/NMJ’s status love and WWX’s wanting to be loved.

Xue Yang prized his body.

Xue Yang seems condemnable on paper, but let’s look at this a little deeper: what else did Xue Yang have? Nie Mingjue inherited a sect and had his beloved little brother, men who would die for him, people who admired him. Wei Wuxian had his loved ones, and then they were gone. Jin Guangyao had his dead mother’s wish for him to be approved for by society, and a famous father. What exactly did Xue Yang have besides his own body? He didn’t have parents, as far as we know. What else was he to value? Why is Nie Mingjue venerated, and Xue Yang condemned? Why is Jiang Cheng allowed to torture the poor under him for so many years, just because they reminded him of his brother, and Xue Yang hunted down?

The only answer is privilege. It’s privilege that allows Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng to decide when and how they want to enforce justice, and if they do at all. It’s privilege that they had families to avenge. It’s privilege that enables them to commit atrocities and get second, third, fourth chances. It’s privilege of his birthright than enables Jiang Cheng to never once die in the novel (Nie Mingjue not so much). But when Nie Mingjue dies, he seeks revenge on his murderer, not justice. He kills countless others in his quest to kill Jin Guangyao, people who had nothing to do with his death, and he could have killed his own brother. Even when he succeeds he ends up battling Jin Guangyao in a coffin sealed for a hundred years--hardly a victory. 

So since we’ve brought him up, let’s talk Xue Yang and the Yi City trio now. The “judgy” member of the Yi City Trio is decidedly not privileged (A-Qing, as @thisworldgodonlyknows​ wrote about her, foils Nie Huaisang, but also she foils Nie Mingjue), and her character reveals these precise flaws in Nie Mingjue and Jiang Cheng. She is a beggar girl and a thief, but she seeks justice for Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan out of nothing more than love. She herself does not kill, and frankly I’d say she is the moral backbone of the series more than any other character (along with perhaps Mianmian). She was never a part of society, after all.

A-Qing dies young, alone by a river, mutilated. She has no privilege, but her spirit survives as a ghost solely because of her desire to ensure justice for Xiao Xingchen and for Song Lan. Her condemnation of Xue Yang is at first admittedly selfish--she was jealous--but then honestly understandable and easier to swallow, since she came from a similar background. But because of this, and because A-Qing is willing to empathize, she ends up understood and her wishes fulfilled. In the end, Song Lan leaves with the remains of her soul, determined to heal both her and Xiao Xingchen. 

As I wrote here, A-Qing is also faced with a dark version of herself in Xue Yang. Similarly, Jiang Cheng is faced with a dark version of himself in both Su She (jealous of Lan Wangji, jealous of Wei Wuxian; he calls out their arrogance) and in Jin Guangyao in the temple, and only then is he able to move forward and grow. Nie Mingjue, unfortunately, did not recognize the dark version of himself in Jin Guangyao, and ends up trapped with him. 

[pamphletstoinspire]

Good Friday - April 2, 2021

Good Friday (also called “Great Friday” or “Holy Friday”) is the most somber day of the entire year. A silence pervades, socializing is kept to a minimum, things are done quietly; it is a day of mourning; it is a funeral. The Temple of the Body of Christ is destroyed, capping the the penitential seasons begun on Septuagesima Sunday and becoming more intense throughout Lent. Traditional Catholics wear black, cover their mirrors, extinguish candles and any lamps burning before icons, keep amusements and distractions down, and go about the day in great solemnity.

by Fr. Francis Xavier Weninger, 1876

“Now there stood by the cross, Mary His mother.”–John xix, 25.

Yesterday, beloved in Christ, the example of Judas the traitor was held up to us as a terrible warning upon which every sinner might meditate, and, perhaps, realize the consequences of such total atrocity and utter hardness of heart. That warning might be, for many, the very last grace vouchsafed by God! Oh, may it not be in vain! What reason has not the sinner to strike his breast, and cry out: “O God, be merciful to me, for my sins have been as great, perhaps, as those of Judas, and more frequent!” Yes, sinners, it is even so; for Judas, wretch though he was, did not try to pervert his fellow-laborers, the Apostles; while you, how many innocent souls have you not led astray, both by word and example? How many souls, most dear and precious to the Heart of Jesus, have you not turned away from Him?” Woe to him by whom scandals come. It were better for that man that a millstone be hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depths of the sea.” And yet, my brethren, if, among my hearers there are any who have been guilty of grievous sin, I would say to them, do not despair. Even though each passing year has witnessed the commission of crimes, each one more terrible than the last; nay, even if you have lived as an incarnate devil, do not despair. Look upon Mary beneath the cross. Call upon her; she will take you under her maternal protection; lead you to her divine Son, who can refuse her nothing; and obtain for you the grace of a true conversion; for is she not the one chosen by God, and destined to be the Mother of mercy, the refuge of sinners?

As the subject of our present meditation, my dear brethren, let us consider the wonderful power contained in the words uttered by Jesus on the cross, those seven last words which inspired the sweet heart of the Virgin Mother with an ardent wish to save and rescue sinners. O Mary, Mother of mercy, show thyself a merciful mother, especially towards those erring children, who have come here tonight, their hearts heavy with the burden of sin! I speak in the holy name of Jesus, for the greater honor and glory of God!

As it seemed good to the Lord to place a helpmate by the side of the earthly Adam, so we behold at the side of Jesus, the heavenly Adam, Mary, the Eve of the New Law; that, as by the fall of the first Adam and Eve the whole human race was plunged into an abyss of woe, so through the second–Jesus and Mary–rescued man was led to hope for heaven. It is true that, in the abstract, it was the merits of Christ alone which effected our redemption, yet, that its fruits might be imparted to man individually, Jesus was pleased to place by his side a mother–Mary–for the consolation and assistance of the human race.

Jesus merited; Mary distributes those merits. Therefore, God filled her heart with the most fervent affection for us, who have been born in sin, ensnared by numberless temptations, walking in the path to heaven, it may be, but in constant danger of going astray, and persecuted by the enemies of our salvation who rejoice when we make but one false step, hoping thereby that we will become their prey forever. Mary’s heart is filled with the most unspeakable compassion for us ; and no mother, of her own natural inclination, so fondly loves a child, so tenderly cares for its welfare, so untiringly watches over it in every danger, as does Mary in regard to the children of men; especially if they have had the happiness of receiving baptism as members of the Holy Catholic Church. “Come ye all to me, and be filled with my fruits.” Thus does Holy Church cry out to those who zealously walk under her protection and patronage in the way of perfection, the path which leads to the joys of heaven.

But with far more earnestness and devotion does this exclamation come forth from the mother of love and mercy to every soul that has fallen into sin. “Come back,” this tender mother cries: “forsake your sinful lives, and live for God.” The reason why the Saviour placed His mother beneath the cross is given by St. Bonaventure, in the following touching words: “Divine mercy was pleased to place beneath the world’s redeeming wood, a creature who would be wholly merciful, and her name is Mary.” Jesus did so that no sinner need ever despair, that no soul need be lost. St. Bernard says: “You dare not go to Christ because you have crucified Him, and, besides, He will one day be your Judge; but look at Mary, hasten to her; she is all mercy. In her, so tender, kind, and loving, there is nothing at which you could take alarm. She is a mother who will lead you to her Son; who will reconcile you through that precious blood He shed upon the cross, to His eternal Father.” Mary herself gave the same assurance to St. Bridget in a vision: “There is no sinner so great,” she said, “who, when he calls upon me and comes to me, will be cast off, and refused forgiveness.” During the earthly life of the Blessed Virgin, her heart burned with the desire to lead souls to Christ.

Oh, with what joy did she behold them return to the path of virtue after they had strayed therefrom, and to a life of sanctity after they had abandoned their evil ways! But, beloved in Christ, how immeasurably was this desire increased when she stood so near her dying Son, and heard the words uttered by His parched and livid lips:

“Father, forgive them; they know not what they do,” were the first precious words which welled up from the agonizing heart. The mother listened, and resolved to make it her dearest care to lead the sinner back to God, that the blood of Jesus might not be shed in vain. “O my Jesus!” was the prayer she put forth to her crucified Son, “I know well that for love of souls Thou didst choose this painfnl death, to deliver them from the curse of sin; therefore, I unite my petition to Thine, and cry with Thee: Heavenly Father, forgive! Receive my only-begotten Son; I offer Him to Thee with all His merits, together with my own, which I have gained by Thy divine grace, or may merit until the end of my life. Have mercy, I beseech Thee, upon the sinful children of men!”

“Amen I say unto thee; this day shalt thou be with Me in Paradise.”

Mary listened, and still her desire for the salvation of souls increased; for her compassionate heart shuddered at the terrible torments into which those who were lost would be plunged. And in proportion to the number saved by the life, death, and passion of Christ, will the glory and beatitude of the Sacred Heart be increased in heaven.

“Woman, behold thy son; son, behold thy mother.”

How precious are the words which fall from the dying lips of a beloved friend! How much dearer are they when it is an only son. Mary listened, and the wish of her heart grew still more intense, as the Saviour spoke, to save every soul. By these words He solemnly declared before heaven and earth that to Mary He bequeathed the children of Adam, that she might, through her intercession, aid in their salvation with the love, tenderness, and magnanimity which has marked her love for Him. And can we doubt that the sorrowful mother promised to do so? And the blood, which gushed from the five sacred wounds, fell upon her there, thus sealing the solemn promise she made to Christ.

“My God! my God! why hast thou forsaken Me?”

Mary understood the meaning of this complaint. Christ suffered, as it were, the punishment of separation from God, incurred on account of sin; but what more than all afflicted His heart, was the knowledge, that in spite of that blood He so freely shed for man amid temptations, trials, afflictions, and intense pain, for so many it would be shed in vain.

“I thirst!” It was not sufficient for the Saviour to deliver us from the curse of sin, but He would fain induce us to imitate His example, though life itself might be the penalty. Mary heard and understood the plaintive cry, and her wish grew stronger still to win souls for heaven, and console the Sacred Heart.

“It is consummated!” The work of redemption is finished, and Jesus leaves this world with the words: “Father, into Thy hands I commend my spirit.” “Behold the completion of the work for which Thou didst send me here.”

This perseverance unto the end is the perfect fulfillment of the divine will; but it is a grace which, in reality, not one of the saints in heaven who reached that happy home thereby merited of himself; but as Holy Scripture tells us, and the holy fathers unanimously assert, a solid and tender devotion to Mary is a certain sign of election. “Whosoever finds Me finds life, and draws salvation from the Lord,” says the Holy Ghost, through the Church, in reference to the ever blessed Virgin Mary.

“Father, into Thy hands I commend My Spirit.” With the most implicit confidence may her devoted clients, as this world recedes from their dying eyes, breathe forth the prayer which the Saviour uttered on the cross.

When St. John of God was dying, suddenly there appeared to him the pure and loving Mother of Jesus at the very moment that he had ceased to hope for that favor. But Mary, who had promised to be there, sweetly said to this faithful servant: “My dear son I never forsake my children in this solemn hour.” O sinners, do not lose courage, hasten to Mary, call upon her, seek her assistance, and she will help you to make a good confession! Draw from her bleeding heart those seven swords of grief which your sins have thrust therein,–the sword of delay in conversion, of impenitence, of scandal, of indifference in matters of religion, of disdain towards the Church and her ministers. Judas forgot to call upon her. O sinners, for Christ’s dear sake forget not so sure a refuge, who is ready to help, who longs to save your souls!

O Mary, with St. John we sink down at thy feet, even as if, with Him, thy adopted Son, we were now on Calvary, and cry out from the very depths of our contrite hearts: “O Mother of mercy, be merciful unto us, by the memory of those sorrows which thou didst endure upon the sacred mount. Obtain for us the grace of true contrition of heart, a life free from sin, and a happy death through Jesus Christ, our crucified Lord and Redeemer.–Amen!

“And when Jesus saw His Mother and the disciple whom He loved, He said: Behold thy Mother,”–St. John xix, 26.

Yesterday we considered St. John, the disciple of love; and his beautiful example pointed out to us, in the clearest manner, the conditions necessary for approaching the Table of the Lord, so as to partake of the heavenly food in a worthy manner; and, after its reception, to unite ourselves so intimately with Christ that our reception of the Holy Communion may be indeed like that of St. John, and produce in our souls the same effects of sanctifying love. Today the scene is changed.

Let us glance at him as he stands beneath the cross, beside Mary, the Mother of fair love, and learn no less expressly the conditions upon which we, ransomed sons of men, through the passion and death of Christ, may reap the fruits of the Redemption in their fullness for time and eternity. Today also his characteristic feature, as disciple of love, exemplifies these conditions. And why? Because the more sincere our love for Jesus, the more perfectly will our hearts be prepared to appropriate these fruits; and, from the wounds of our crucified Saviour to receive, without intermission, new distributions of grace.

O Mary, who, under the cross, didst adopt St. John as thy son, adopt us today in like manner as thy children, and obtain for us that love for Jesus which filled his fervent heart! I speak in the most holy name of Jesus, for the greater honor and glory of God!

If yesterday we beheld in spirit St. John at the Holy Table resting upon the Sacred Heart of Jesus, we learned also how fully he merited, above all the other Apostles, the title, “disciple of love.” And, on this day, so sad, so full of mournful memories, and yet replete with consolation too, we perceive that again he is favored, above all the other Apostles, in being allowed to stand by the Mother of Jesus beneath the cross. Oh, that we all would avail ourselves of the privilege, of being near Jesus–present in the Blessed Sacrament–by visiting and receiving the Son of God!

The fervent love which inflamed the heart of St. John shows us at once what will render our intercourse with Jesus like unto his. And now the love, which burned so brightly amid the spiritual joys of that holy eventide, retains its ardor toward the crucified One in all the desolation of this bitter hour. It glowed in the faithful heart of St. John on Calvary, and exercised a sublime influence upon the holiness of his after life.

To understand better what kind of affections they were which rendered St. John so dear and precious to his suffering Saviour, let us glance first at Mary– the, Mother of Sorrows, the Queen of Martyrs, and the type of all that is holy and beautiful in love–and think of the sentiments which filled her maternal heart as she endured each separate pain inflicted on her beloved Son, for it found its echo there. And these affections were mirrored in the dear disciple’s faithful heart, causing Jesus to give, before He left this world, His loving Mother an affectionate son. And what were the feelings of this blessed Mother in that solemn hour, when she beheld the consummation of what had begun some three and thirty years before? Compassion, adoration, thanksgiving, and perfect resignation to the most holy will of God.

Ah, yes! compassion. The sight of a poor body covered with wounds, bruised, and bleeding, always awakens it, especially if the sufferer be the innocent victim of malice; and this feeling is intensified if he be connected with us by the ties of love or blood. Imagine, then, the feelings of a loving mother when her darling child lies wounded or dying in her arms!

During one of my missions the following painful illustration of this came under my personal observation: Two children–two innocent little children– were at play in the yard near by their dwelling, where an elder brother was splitting wood. Unfortunately, the stroke of the axe fell on the hand of the little golden-haired boy of five–the youngest of the three. The hand was almost completely severed from the wrist, and was kept thereon only by a slender piece of skin. Horrified, the brothers carried the little one to his mother, who gave one look and fell fainting on the floor. Judge, then, of the grief of the Blessed Virgin, who possessed the feelings of a loving mother in the highest degree.

And yet, with the sharp sword of sorrow piercing her heart, she stood calmly by, and thought of the priceless value of those sufferings which Jesus underwent. She, who bore so large a part in the redemption of man–Queen of Apostles, and seat of divine wisdom–adored the decree of God, which was completed through the passion and death of Christ, that through the sufferings of a God mankind should be redeemed.

Mary’s heart was full of adoration combined with gratitude for her own election as Mother of the Redeemer. Gratitude that she was permitted to stand by the cross and nearest to Him. She thanked God that she was permitted to unite her sufferings with those of her divine Son; and that unto her was given to be mediatrix between Him and the human race. She bowed in meek submission, saying, as first she did in Nazareth: “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it done unto me according to Thy word.” Thus prayed the Mother of God, even while the shadow of the cross was darkening her future life, and the sword of grief, which Simeon promised, pierced through her very heart.

And in all this St. John, the beloved disciple, was her counterpart. He felt the most tender pity when looking up at the dying Saviour, now truly the Man of Sorrows. What a change in Him since the evening of the Last Supper, that Holy Repast, the intense joy of which could never be forgotten, and which proved the sweetest solace in the anguish of the present hour! There the Son of God appeared the most beautiful among the children of men; now, the glory was dimmed, and there was no comeliness in Him. St. John was also deeply grateful for having been chosen by Christ to walk by His side through life, to stand by Him in death. He, too, made the sacrifice of his own will, as the Blessed Mother did. Compassion, adoration, gratitude, and submission!

We, too, can participate in these affections; and we must do so, if we would share to the full extent in the merits of Jesus’s death. But will it suffice to stop at mere feeling? So far from it, that to think so would be one of the greatest illusions, and must be severely guarded against; for St. John tells us that we must love, not in words alone, but in deeds. That our love for the crucified One may prove itself as true, sacrificing, and faithful as that of St. John, let us keep ever in view the words spoken by Him upon the cross, which, falling upon the ear of affection strained to catch even the faintest whisper of his beloved Lord, illumined the soul of St. John for the rest of his life, and guided him in the way of salvation with their beautiful light.

Let us apply them to ourselves, and imagine that Jesus addresses us thus: “Souls redeemed by Me at the cost of such bitter anguish, if you love Me, sin no more; but profit by these my sufferings, and aim for the joys of heaven.” Ah, yes! my dearest brethren! when pleasure’s seducing cup is held to your lips, and you can not quaff therefrom without committing sin, pause then, and think of the weary years of pain which Jesus spent on earth! Think of that life of toil and trial crowned in the latter years by suffering and anguish such as the mind could never conceive, and an ignominious death, and all for you! Think of this, friends, and dash the poisoned cup away!

Yes, it was sin which crucified your Saviour; and St. John grieved over the slightest shadow of evil which might have fallen on his soul; but we may well believe that, after he listened to the words: “Father, forgive,” his beautiful soul was never stained with the smallest fault.

“Amen, I say to thee; this day thou shalt be with Me in paradise.” To St. John was granted the wonderful privilege of beholding the glories of heaven while yet on earth. Detach your hearts from the empty treasures of this world; for, if you would arise with Christ, seek first the things which are of Christ.

“Woman, behold thy son.” “Son, behold thy Mother.” St. John heard the words; he glanced at Mary, drew nearer, and threw himself at her feet beneath the cross. Then he embraced his adopted Mother with all the fervor of filial love. My dear brethren, show your love to Jesus by a tender devotion and love to Mary. Love her with a truly filial love; for Christ, according to St. Bridget and other spiritual writers, has given, in the person of St. John, the entire human race to Mary as her children.

“My God! my God! why hast thou forsaken Me?” Man’s life is a warfare; and, at times, it seems indeed as if we were entirely forsaken. Let us, then, like St. John, be ready to suffer every thing, and to give up our very lives rather than commit one single venial sin. Look, with the beloved disciple, at Jesus, the crucified One, and you will conquer and overcome.

“I thirst.” St. John listened. Jesus thirsts after souls, and this favored Apostle understood the mournful cry. And do you not think that he promised the Lord, as a true disciple, to spread His kingdom, and to labor for the salvation of souls, the value of which he saw more clearly in that solemn hour when he witnessed the incalculable cost of their redemption? Try, beloved in Christ Jesus, to imitate him in his zeal for the rescue of human souls.

“It is consummated.” Fidelity to the very end is the most convincing proof of true love, which “many waters can not quench,” as Holy Scripture affirms. Be faithful, then, O Christians, whose salvation has been purchased at such a price; and, for love of Him whose sufferings we commemorate tonight, falter not, but persevere until the last. And then when that awful day will dawn, which hath for you no night, or that evening twilight fall, of which you will never see the morn, with perfect hope you can sigh: “Come, my Jesus, come,” and yield up your spirit in the affections of your faithful love to Him with the longing desire of St. John, and the holy confidence of St. Francis Xavier. Ah, yes! then you may well cry out: “I have loved and trusted in Thee, O my God, and will therefore never be confounded. I die in Thy blessed arms, O Jesus, my Crucified Love.”–Amen!

“O death, where is thy sting?”–1 Cor. xv, 55.

If I, dearly beloved in Christ Jesus, have meditated with you upon the manifold miseries which drape our lives with the sable hue of gloom, I have also reminded you how Christ, the luminous Sun of justice, shines even amid this mournful night and brightens it with the most consoling rays of hope. There is, however, a still greater likeness between a dark and starless night and the condition of the departing soul. Oh, how terrible is the darkness which overshadows it at the approach of that moment which is to witness the separation of the soul from that body to which it has been so long and so intimately united–when it must depart alone, and, uncheered by the companionship of even one earthly friend, enter on a path all new and strange, “the house of its eternity!” The sight leaves the dim and fading eyes, and night comes for that dying man, although the sun’s bright glow may fill the room. But, alas! the shadows fall deeper still when despair sets in, and envelop the departing soul in a night of desolation and woe.

Yes, even to God’s saints has it been given to walk through the dark valley of bitter agony before they could enter the joys of heaven. The great St. Hilary trembled when his death hour approached, thinking of the words of St. Paul: “It is terrible to fall into the hands of the living God;” but, taking courage, he exclaimed: “What! You have served God for seventy years, and now are afraid to appear before Him. Fear not, my soul, but go forth to meet your God; ” and so he departed, full of holy hope.

Would you also, my brethren, be blessed with the sweet confidence of St. Hilary at the hour of death? It is in your power–for what animates the dying Christian who has faithfully served his Lord, is a glance at the crucifix which is placed in his hands; for Christ is the Sun which brightens the dark hour of death.

O Mary, Mother of a happy passage, as the twilight of life gathers over our souls, assist us by thy prayers, that our eyes may unclose upon the eternal day! I speak in the most holy name of Jesus, for the greater honor and glory of God!

As we read in the lives of the holy fathers in the desert, who lived in their little cells in Egypt, it came to pass that an Abbot of great renown lay on his dying bed. His spiritual children, who loved and revered him for his wonderful sanctity, gathered from far and near to witness that edifying death and pray for the departing soul. The face of the dying man was illumined with divine love as he uttered distinctly the words: “Behold, the choir of patriarchs approaches to meet me.” The hermits, in awe, remained silent, and ventured not to speak; when, after a short pause, there fell upon the listening group an exultant cry: “Behold, the venerable prophets are coming to meet me.”–After a brief silence his countenance became still more brilliant as, lifting up his voice, he exclaimed: “The apostles of Christ are here, and wish to bear me away to heaven.”–Another interval of silence; the lips of the venerable servant of God moved again; and on being asked with whom he was conversing, he replied: “The angels are here, and wish me to go with them, that they may introduce me to the joys of heaven; but I ask them to leave me here still longer, that I may perform more penance for my sins.” One of the fathers then said: “Venerable Abbot, you do not need to do longer penance.”–And behold, his face shone as if he were in an ecstasy of delight, and he cried: “Jesus my Saviour cometh!” and with these words the lovely dawn of a happy eternity broke upon his soul, as it went forth to dwell forever with God.

My dearest Christians, a similar halo of consolation may one day irradiate your dying bed, if you be but faithful, when Christ the Lord, not only in vision, but with body and soul, divinity and humanity, comes to your hearts. The priest will administer to you the Sacred Host as viaticum before you go to receive the reward of a well-spent life.

This blessed assurance which I give you, however, from this holy place, can not be offered to every dying person, but only to such as have believed and hoped and loved during life, and who have observed all the commandments of God and of His Church. Even they, as I said before, may in their last agony, by the permission of God, feel a great interior desolation for their greater purification, that they may enter at once into everlasting bliss.

We have considered the trials which, from the cradle to the grave, are the lot of man, in my discourse of yesterday, and beheld the five rays which come from the sorrowful heart of the agonizing Jesus, to encourage us amid these trials and troubles, and also in the many and violent temptations which will encompass the soul.

In the terrors of death’s dark night, my dear brethren, there will be seven consoling rays in the seven words which Jesus spoke upon the cross, and of those I will speak tonight.

“Father, forgive.” This is the first ray which illumines the night of death for the faithful child of the Church. It is a most sweet solace for those who have never offended God by mortal sin–who have ever cherished unspotted the white robe of their baptismal innocence. Alas! they are but few. We know that the angelic youth St. Aloysius received the tidings of his approaching death with the greatest joy, for he immediately entoned the Te Deum.

But few who pass the morning of life, not to speak of those who have borne the burdens of years, leave this world with their baptismal innocence unstained. I look around this sacred edifice and see before me a goodly multitude who have come hither to commemorate the Saviour’s death, and perhaps–alas! I fear is more than a perhaps–many of them have so deeply offended the crucified Saviour that conscience torments them and gives them no rest; and they say: “What will become of us if, in our dying moments, Satan holds up the long list of our offenses in all their enormity?” Do not despair: confess those sins with fervent sorrow; the blood of Jesus will wash the guilt away; else, why did He cry to the eternal God: “Father, forgive”?

It may be that, although you have sinned, you have already repented and sought reconciliation with God by a good confession. If so, how sweet those words for you: “Father, forgive”! And Who uttered them? The same Christ Who said to His Apostles and their successors in the holy ministry to the end of time: “Whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven them; and whose sins you shall retain, they are retained;”–the same Jesus Who, to strengthen you at the hour of death, instituted the sacrament of Extreme Unction, which washes away the least trace and stain of sin from the soul, and even the relics of sin. It is the same Saviour Who will forgive your sins at any time while the breath still lingers in your body, even at the very final moment, through the infinite merits of His passion and death. Yes, my brethren, He will do this if you but turn your dying eyes upon Him with a confiding and repentant heart; for a single drop of His precious blood, of which the value is infinite, would be sufficient to redeem a thousand worlds.

Why, then, O Christians–why should you despond? Christ is praying for you to the Father. He, the Lamb of God, Who taketh away the sins of the world, has He forgotten you? Detach your hearts from earthly goods and pleasures, for, believe me, what darkens the dying moments of so many Christians is an undue attachment to them. If a person, during the course of a long life, has set his heart upon the riches of this world and labored to amass its treasures, how grieved will he not be, at the hour of death, to feel that they are slowly but surely slipping from his grasp! Oh, then, “die daily” to the world! Seek first the Kingdom of heaven, and you may indeed cry out: “O death, where is thy sting?”

“This day thou shalt be with me in Paradise.” These consoling words were spoken by Christ upon the cross. Oh, what a flood of light they pour upon the obscure night of the departing soul! The thought–“I leave the delights and treasures of the world; but what are they in comparison to those which await me in heaven?”– inspires the heart with the wish to possess the goods of the Lord in the country of the living, and to enjoy that bliss of which St. Paul affirms: “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath it entered the heart of man what God has prepared for those who love Him.”

What throws a shadow of gloom over the dying hour is the grief the sufferer feels at leaving behind the friends he sees weeping around his bed. This is a feeling from which even pious souls are not exempt. But, Christians, be consoled; Jesus from the cross cried out: “Woman, behold thy son! Son, behold thy Mother!” If you have honored Mary, like a good child, and followed her holy example, then will she assist you in your last moments, even though father, mother, sisters, and brothers should forsake you.

Oh, what a luminous ray of celestial light is contained in the thought: “The Holy Virgin will be with me; St. Joseph, the Archangel St. Michael, and all the saints whom I have begged to obtain for me a happy death, will surround me; my guardian angel will defend me from the spirits of evil, and strengthen me to resist their attacks.”

It is true that I must leave those who are dear to me, but I will be welcomed by those of my friends who await me in heaven. Oh, what joy to be forever united with them in a home where neither death nor sorrow can enter!

“My God! my God! why hast thou forsaken me?” Thus did Christ pray in accordance with the psalm which predicted His sufferings. The pious child of the Church need never complain that God has forsaken him. Christ comes to him in the viaticum, to strengthen his soul in the supreme moment of his last agony.

My friends, it is hard to die. Death is a punishment of original sin. But how encouraging the thought: “It is the act, the most precious act, by which I give back my life to Him Who bestowed it, if I so overcome myself that I resign myself willingly to His divine decree and unite my will so entirely to His as to desire this very death, in this very place, and in this very manner, and all because my loving Saviour wished it so.” If, beloved in Christ, you can meet death with such entire resignation, the flames of Purgatory will be extinguished for you, and your Lord and Judge will bid you enter at once into the joys of His heavenly home.

“I thirst!” This plaintive cry deeply affected the Blessed Virgin and St. John. Happy the Christian who has lived only for Jesus. At the hour of death his heart will be filled with the desire of the Apostle “who longed to be dissolved and to be with Christ;” and this the more because death takes from us the possibility of ever again committing sin.

“It is consummated.” What a sweet assurance of rest and peace is contained herein! The burning love from the heart of the dying Saviour illumines the words with the brightest rays of consolation and hope. “It is consummated.” The life of toil and sacrifice of three and thirty years is over; the cruel scourging, the sharp pain of the stinging thorns, the anguish of the crucifixion, are over: “Father, into Thy hands I commend my spirit.” O blessed eye which heralds the dawn of eternal glory! What a consoling ray of divine hope, not only for the Saviour, but for the Christian about to leave this world, if he too has been faithful unto death! How trifling will then be all the labors, toils, and mortifications he endured for the love of God, and how sweet the thought of the consequent bliss which awaits his soul!

Let us so regulate our lives that we may taste this sweetness not only at the close of life, but at the close of the day when we sink into sleep, “the image of death.” “It is consummated.” “Father, into Thy hands I commend my spirit.” One glance at the crucified Jesus is sufficient to inspire the heart with the certain hope that sustained St. Francis Xavier in his last moments, as he pressed His image to his lips: “O my crucified Love, I have trusted in Thee and will never be confounded.”

Dearest Jesus, so dispose our hearts in life that at the last dread hour You may appear to us as the glorious Sun of justice, to brighten with these sevenfold rays the gathering gloom which fain would darken our passage into eternity.–Amen!

Good Friday: The Greatest of All Sorrows

by Bishop Ehrler, 1891

“O all ye that pass by the way, attend, and see if there be any sorrow like to my sorrow.” (Lament, i : 12.)

I present to your pitying contemplation, this morning, my dear brethren, the mightiest, the most profound sorrow that earth has ever witnessed. It is not merely a single affliction, (such as is often endured by the human heart), but the sum of all suffering and woe, that fullness of all sorrow, united and enclosed in a single heart, and that heart, the sacred heart of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ! The King of martyrs, our divine Redeemer, appears, today, before our minds in bloody garments, saying to us: “Oh all ye that pass by the way, attend, and see if there be any sorrow like to my sorrow.” Who will refuse to compassionate Him, overwhelmed with the bitterest anguish for our salvation? Who can live through this day, of all others in the year, without being penetrated by the most profound and sincere compassion for the mangled and martyred Lamb of God?

Behold, how our holy Church, the Bride of the King of martyrs, laments for her beloved! She can not find words to express her deep, sharp pain. Clad in the garments of mourning, with anguish in her countenance, and tears in her eyes, she sits before the Cross of her Bridegroom, and tenderly bewails His sufferings and death. To each of her children she cries out, today; “Let tears, like a torrent, run down day and night; give thyself no rest, and let not the apple of thy eye cease. Arise, give praise in the night, in the beginning of the watches; pour out thy heart like water before the face of the Lord.” (Lament. 2: 18, 19.)

The bitter Passion of Jesus should always and continually engage the contemplation of our souls. Day and night, like the blessed in heaven, should we adore the wounds of our Redeemer; ever and always, should we weep with all holy souls over those sufferings which were borne for love of us. But today, my brethren, when all these agonies pass swiftly before our eyes, when the blood flows afresh, and the death-sweat oozes from his body, must not the stream of our tears, like a torrent, run down day and night? Ah! yes: the Passion and Death of our dear Redeemer reveal to us this Good Friday morning the greatest and deepest of all sorrows.

I. Because of the extreme torments suffered;

II. Because of the person who endured those torments; and

III. Because of the cruel cause of those torments.

I. Who can fathom the depths and the bitterness of the deep sea of human anguish? Who can count the tears that have been shed since the unhappy fall of Adam? Who can reckon the cries of woe and misery, of agony and despair, that have issued from the mouth of one single suffering man? Yet there has been no earthly sorrow which can even be compared with that of our Saviour. If ail the pains and miseries of the whole earth were collected together and united in one great mass of anguish, the sufferings of our Redeemer would far outweigh them all. So immense, so profound, so overwhelming were they, that only the mighty heart of the God-Man could endure them.

1. The prophet Isaias beheld in a vision the future sufferings of the Messias, and saw the holy Victim covered with blood and wounds; but when he attempted to paint the picture of the King of Martyrs, O then, my brethren, he was bewildered by the terrible, the awe-inspiring apparition. “Who hath believed our report? And to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed? He shall grow up as a tender plant before him, and as a root out of a thirsty ground; there is no beauty in him, nor comeliness; and we have seen him, and there was no sightliness that we should be desirous of him; despised, and the most abject of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with infirmity.” (Is. 53: 1-3).

“A worm, and no man; the reproach of men, and the outcast of the people,” (Ps. 21 : 7.), our Lord Jesus Christ has suffered all the pains which the soul can suffer. He has borne the excess of mental sufferings, such as anguish and fear, sorrow and desolation, dejection and dereliction–all that can inflict torture upon the heart of man. He cries out: “My soul is sorrowful even unto death” (Matt. 14: 34.); and then He sinks to the earth overcome by so fierce an agony that it forces a bloody sweat to issue from every pore of His sacred body. Each separate torment which He afterward endured in all the members of His body, He consented to suffer beforehand in His heart and soul. “Where is there a grief like unto my grief?”

2. Yes, my brethren, He suffered in every member of His sacred body. “From the sole of the foot to the top of the head, there is no soundness therein; wounds and bruises and swelling sores: they are not bound up, nor dressed, nor fomented with oil.” (Is. 1 : 6.) His head is crowned with piercing thorns; His eyes are filled with blood that streams from His wounded brow; His cheeks are bruised by the blows of a wicked servant; His hands and feet are pierced through with cruel nails; His heart is opened with a spear; His shoulders are torn with terrible lashes, and all His wounds are inflamed and widened by the repeated taking-off and putting-on of his sacred garments. “Where is there any sorrow like to my sorrow?”

He endured every kind of affliction–His bitter chalice contained every form and species of woe. As a babe, He was repulsed by His own creatures, and forced to accept as a birth-place, a cold and miserable stable. As a helpless and harmless child, He was threatened with death, and obliged to flee from His own country into a distant and barbarous land. When grown to manhood, His chosen people, to whom He had shown naught but kindness, whom He had loaded with favors and benefits, despised and persecuted Him. They said: “He hath a devil,” and they sought to take His life. They tried to rob Him of His honor and reputation. He was betrayed by one of His own disciples, and sold by him for a contemptible sum of money, and this under the mask of friendship. He was deserted by His cherished disciples, who had sworn to follow Him unto death. He was bound with cords, and led forth like a criminal amid the wild clamor of His enemies. He was falsely accused, and dragged about from one tribunal to another. He was mocked and despised; a murderer and robber was preferred before Him. He was deprived of His clothing before the eyes of the whole people, and thus, stripped naked, was nailed to the cross: and even on the cross He was scoffed at and denied unto the end. Indifference and cowardice, human respect and treachery, hypocrisy, derision, malice, in fact, every kind of evil, had a share in His torments. “Where is there any sorrow like to my sorrow?”

He suffered from every class of men, priests and laymen, princes upon their thrones, and the scum of the people; strangers who knew Him not, and those of His own race; pagans who persecuted Him through ignorance, and Jews who had been instructed in the Law; soldiers hardened by cruel warfare, and judges who were appointed to protect the innocent; the ignorant who were the blind tools of the malignant Pharisees, and the learned who were filled with evil wisdom–all conditions of human society, all degrees of rank, became His enemies. He had not one executioner alone (as has the greatest criminal), but hundreds and thousands of them. “Where is any sorrow like unto my sorrow?”

He suffered throughout His whole earthly career, since no moment of it was free from pain and affliction. All the days of His life, the awful vision of His future sufferings stood out clearly before His omniscient eye, filling His soul with unspeakable woe and dread. Death itself did not put an end to the outrages heaped upon Him; for when He hung lifeless upon the cross, His enemies continued to wreak then vengeance upon His sacred remains. They pierced His side with a lance; they sealed up His grave and placed a watch upon it so that “that deceiver,” as they called Him, might not come forth from the tomb. Jesus, as St. John remarks, knew ” all things that were to come upon him.” (John 18:4.) “My sorrow is continually before me,” the Psalmist says in His person. (Ps. 37 : 18.) “My enemies have trodden on me all the day long; for there are many that make war against me.” (Ps. 55 : 3.)

3. Where is there sorrow equal to His sorrow? He suffered all these pains and sorrows from those who had been His friends, and for whose salvation He had descended from heaven to earth. His people, chosen before all the nations of the earth, whom He had led out of Egypt, fed with manna in the desert, opened the fountain of living water in the hard rock; whose enemies He had subdued, through whose cities, towns, and villages He went about blessing and doing good–this, His chosen people, prepared all these afflictions and humiliations for Him, their Messias. “The ox knoweth his owner, and the ass his master’s crib; but Israel hath not known me.” (Is. 1 :3.) “I have brought up children, and exalted them, but they have despised me.” (Is. 1 :2.) Hearing these lamentations of our outraged God, must we not again exclaim: What sorrow is like unto His sorrow!

4. He endured all these sufferings without the least alleviation. No earthly consolation was offered Him, for His disciples had all fled; no heavenly comfort was sent to lighten His pain. He offered Himself willingly to suffer, and He wished to drink the bitter chalice even to the dregs. For this reason, He refrained Himself as far as possible from the succors of His Divinity, so that He might be, as it were, abyssed in the very depths of sorrow. “I have trodden the wine-press alone, and of the Gentiles there was not a man with me.” (Is. 63 : 3.) “I looked for one that would grieve together with me, but there was none; and for one that would comfort me, and I found none. And they gave me gall for my food; and in my thirst, they gave me vinegar to drink.” (Ps. 68 : 21, 22.)

In heart-felt sympathy, my brethren, let us, today, contemplate this deep ocean of suffering, for to nothing else can the great and bitter sorrows of our Redeemer be compared. “Let tears like a torrent run down day and night: give thyself no rest, and let not the apple of thy eye cease.” The earth, the elements, and all inanimate nature once trembled on this day with grief and compassion for the mangled Lamb of God, and shall we, for whose salvation He was slain, alone remain indifferent? Let us fall upon our knees before our crucified Jesus,–let us venerate His sorrows, and detest with bitter tears the sins which caused His unspeakable sufferings.

II. Consider next, my beloved Christians, the dignity of the Person who endured those sufferings.

1. Who is this Man of Sorrows who appears before us, with torn and bleeding body and pierced heart?” Who is He that cometh from Edom, with dyed garments from Bosra?” we ask in astonishment with the prophet Isaias. (Is. 63 :1.) “Why then is thy apparel red, and thy garments like theirs that tread the wine-press?” (Is. 63 : 2.) No human heart is strong or heroic enough to carry such a burden of sorrow, without being crushed, broken, annihilated! Ah, my beloved, the Man of Sorrows is the only-begotten Son of God–the strong and mighty Deity, who, for love of us, has borne all these torments; who in order to make satisfaction for our sins, took their crushing weight upon Himself and suffered in our stead. He, the Man of Sorrows, saw the want and misery of the earth, He saw the corruption of sin which had opened the abyss of hell, and closed the gates of heaven. From the throne of His heavenly glory, He looked down with grief upon the earth, and saw that only His own almighty hand could rescue it from its extreme and hopeless wretchedness. The prayers and sacrifices of centuries had been inadequate to appease the divine wrath. Neither Angel nor Archangel could make the requisite satisfaction to the offended majesty of God, or deliver the world from its impending ruin. Penetrated with an incomprehensible love, the Divine Word cries out to His heavenly Father: “Sacrifice and oblation thou wouldst not; but a body thou hast fitted to me . . . then said I, behold I come . . . that I should do thy will, O Lord!” (Heb. 10: 5-7.) “The Father did not lay the cross upon His Son without His consent,” says St. Cyril, “but the Son has given Himself for us on the cross, and the Father has agreed to it, so that the mystery of salvation might be accomplished.” (St. Cyril.)

2. The Man of Sorrows bore within Him a divine heart, and He suffered with the strength and supernatural power of a divine being. It is true that while He suffered intensely in His human nature, the divine nature was incapable of suffering, yet the divine, being united with the human nature, could not but sympathize with the sufferings of the latter. Indeed, Christ as God wished to sympathize with and share the sufferings of His humanity, so that, thereby, a sacrifice of infinite value might be offered to His Heavenly Father, as an infinite atonement for our sins. Where is there a sorrow like unto this sorrow?

Go through all the ranks of human beings, my dear Christians, and contemplate the misery which meets you on every side. Ponder well the greatest sorrow that has ever been the portion of any earthly creature, and you will acknowledge, after all, that it is only the suffering of a human heart. For all its depth and intensity it is only the trembling outcry and complaint of a finite human soul. But the sorrow which Jesus Christ endured, contains within its unfathomable depths–the unsearchable emotions of an incarnate God! Again: were it possible for the Angels of heaven to experience pain; nay, more, if they accepted it with the whole power of their angelic nature, the united sufferings of all that multitude of mighty spirits compared with those of our Redeemer, would be only as a soft sigh which trembles for a moment on the summer air. Where is sorrow like unto his sorrow?

3. Behold, again, this Man of Sorrows, and meditate upon the lessons of His wounds. Consider not merely that grand, divine Heart which bears human suffering with superhuman strength, but, if you would still further sound the depths of Christ’s excessive sorrow, contemplate, also, that sacred body which is led like a lamb to the slaughter. Not a human body formed from base and sinful dust of the earth is the body of Jesus Christ, but a miracle of the omnipotence and wisdom of God. It is a wonderful creation formed by the Holy Ghost in the immaculate womb of the Most Blessed Virgin Mary. Not merely royal blood flows through His veins, the tender plant from the root of Jesse, but this body is created by the divine operation of God Himself. As all the works of God are more perfect, the clearer and the more forcibly they show forth His power; as the manna which the Lord sent from heaven was sweeter and more exquisite than any earthly food; as the wine which our Saviour created at the marriage of Cana was finer than any juice of the vine; as Adam, the first man, had a most beautiful and perfect human body, because God Himself had formed it from the slime of the earth–so the body of Jesus Christ was more wondrously beautiful and perfect than that of any other human being. It was fine and delicate and perfect beyond all creatures, and formed with special capabilities for suffering. He was appointed to be the Lamb of God, to bear, and to take away, the sins of the world. According to the will of God, as well as through the nature of His holy body, the humanity of our Redeemer must have felt all His pains and sorrows much more keenly and intensely than could any other human body. The greatest and sharpest agony struggled and raged in the most sensitive and delicate of vessels; but through the will of God and the love of our Saviour, the vessel, not being able to break, endured and felt that extraordinary anguish to the bitter end. The fiercest fire, finding the most inflammable material, continues, without consuming or annihilating it, to feed upon it with ever increasing violence, as long as divine Justice requires the holocaust! Where is there a sorrow like unto this sorrow?

4. “Go forth, ye daughters of Sion; and see King Solomon in the diadem wherewith his mother crowned him in the day of his espousals.” (Cant. 3:11.) Behold your Bridegroom, who has delivered you through such exceeding sorrow, and has espoused Himself to your soul at such a great price! Not only will we fall down in adoration and extol the sufferings of our Redeemer, but lovingly we will raise up our eyes to the King and Bridegroom of our souls, and gratefully consecrate the love of our hearts to Him, the Incarnate God, who has given the whole of His divine and human nature to suffer for our redemption!

III. Come now, my dearly beloved, and descending once more into the deep abyss of our Saviour’s Passion, let us search with sincere earnestness for the cause of these terrible sufferings, this ineffable sorrow.

1. On account of our sins, my brethren, the Son of God came down from the glory of heaven. A great invalid lay suffering upon the earth, and a great Physician must needs appear to save and heal him. Love moved the good Samaritan Jesus Christ, the Saviour of the world, to take pity on sick humanity, and to offer to His heavenly Father the atonement for our sins. But was it necessary that our Saviour should suffer so much and so deeply? Would not a single sigh from his divine Heart have sufficed to appease the wrath of the Eternal Father? Certainly; one single drop of His precious blood was sufficient to cleanse the whole world from sin. A single work of our divine Saviour is everlasting and infinite in its redeeming power. Then, wherefore, has He borne the supreme measure of sorrow? Why did He wish to drain the bitter chalice to the dregs? It was to expiate our sins in general, as well as in particular. Every sin that has been or will be committed upon the earth He, in His character of Mediator, has atoned for. “Behold the man,” cried out Pilate, as he presented the scourged and bleeding Redeemer to the gaze of the Jewish people. “O, Pilate!” we must exclaim, “thou hast announced a deep truth!” Before us stands the Man who has taken upon Himself all the sins of the human race, and who bears them and atones for them in His own body. Before us stands the Man in whom we can see our sins and their punishment. “Surely He hath borne our infirmities, and carried our sorrows; and we have thought Him as it were a leper, and as one struck by God and afflicted. But He was wounded for our iniquities, He was bruised for our sins; the chastisement of our peace was upon Him, and by His bruises we are healed.” (Is. 53 : 4, 5.)

2. Contemplate, today, the sufferings of our Saviour, my beloved brethren, and see if there is one sin which He has not taken upon himself and expiated. Consider first, our individual sins, and in them you will recognize all the sins of the world. Faithless and ungrateful, humanity has turned away from the the good God, and bartered His friendship and love for the miserable wages of sin. The disciples, fleeing, abandon their divine master; Judas betrays Him for thirty pieces of silver; His enemies take Him prisoner, and bind Him like a criminal; they drag Him from one tribunal to another. Behold the man who continues in his vices, who is not satisfied with one sin or one insult to the Lord! They weave a crown of thorns and press it upon His head; they place a reed in His hand, and clothe Him in a garment of mockery. Behold the man who raises his head proudly and haughtily, who would elevate his throne as high as the stars in heaven! They scourge Him with cruel lashes, until His sacred body, which is exposed naked to the gaze of the rabble, is covered with blood. Behold the man who shamelessly wallows in the lusts of the flesh, rejoicing in them, and defiling his body with the filth of iniquity. Pilate releases a murderer, and condemns innocence to death. Behold the man who, full of envy, and jealousy, grudges his neighbor his position, or his fortune. They pierce His hands and feet with cruel nails. Behold the man who misuses his members for sin, whose feet hasten upon the road to ruin, and whose hands are greedily stretched forth towards injustice. They give Him gall and vinegar to drink. Behold the man who indulges in gluttony, and gratifies all his sensual appetites! They mock Him in His sufferings, and cry out to Him: “If thou art the Son of God, come down from the cross!” Behold the man who, in his anger, knows no limit to his hatred and revenge! In death, they pierced His Sacred Heart; and at the same time they pierced the soul of the man who had given away his heart to strange gods. Behold the man of sin! Behold the man of punishment!” It is not the Redeemer and the Saviour,” each one of us might exclaim, “that hangs before me upon the cross, it is I myself whose sins he has borne and atoned for, it is the man of sin that is crucified in Him!”

“What was the cause of Thy suffering, O Son of God?” exclaims St. Anselm. “I was the scourge of Thy pain; I the cause of Thy death; I the sting of Thy torments; I the ground of Thy condemnation. O marvelous verdict, O mysterious dispensation! The wicked sin, and the just is punished; the guilty commit the offense, and the innocent atones for it; the master pays for what the servant has broken; God becomes surety for the debts of man.”

3. Wherein lies the cause of all these incomprehensible sufferings of our Saviour? He did not wish merely to bear all the sins of the world in His afflicted person, but, also, to make an everlasting and superabundant satisfaction for us, in order to lay up for us an everlasting and superabundant merit. “Christ has paid much more than we owed,” says St. Chrysostom; “as much as the ocean exceeds a drop of water, so much do Christ’s merits exceed our guilt.” (Hom. 20 in Epist. ad. Rom.) This superabounding merit of Christ does not merely blot out all the stains of sin and its punishment in us, but it, also, wins for us in the richest measure all the graces necessary to our souls for the gaining of everlasting life. As the good Samaritan did not merely raise up the wounded man from the wayside, and wash his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, but, also, out of love, placed him upon his horse, and brought him to an inn, and left money for his further care, so our Redeemer, the genuine Good Samaritan, does not simply heal the wounds of Our hearts through His atonement; but, also, gives us, through His holy Passion, all graces in the highest degree. He would reveal to the world His everlasting love and its great power; therefore has He suffered so much for us. As the loving pelican opens its breast and gives its own life-blood to feed its famishing brood, so does Jesus, our Pious Pelican, nourish and strengthen our souls with His own sacred Blood, the last drop of which He shed for us.

Today, then, my beloved brethren, let us descend into the holy mystery of the Passion of our Lord. And when we have gone down into the deep well whence such streams of suffering and sorrow burst forth, each one of us may strike his breast remorsefully, and cry out to himself in bitter sorrow: “Thou art the cause of all these innumerable sufferings of Thy Redeemer!” Our sins have prepared these pains for our loving Saviour. Therefore “let tears, like a torrent, run down day and night: give thyself no rest, and let not the apple of thine eye cease.” Today, at least, dear Christians, let us pour out our hearts like water before the face of the Lord. When King David learned and recognized of old the justice of God in his family, and when the punishing hand of the Lord was revealed to him, then that royal penitent “kept a fast, and going in by himself, lay upon the ground. And the ancients of his house came to make him rise from the ground, but he would not: neither did he eat meat with them.” (2 Kings 12: 16, 17.) So let us spend in the holy practice of prayer and penance this solemn day, in which the Justice and the Mercy of God have been so clearly revealed to us: and let us promise the Lord, my dear brethren, at the foot of His cross that, henceforth, we will never again renew His endless sufferings, and unspeakable sorrows, by any future relapses into sin. Amen.