#you ever hear what wally did to the speedster who killed bart bruce

[oifaaa]

Jason basically got over Joker when he took the name Red Hood.

Basically yeah considering Jason even said that beating Joker with a crowbar was more for fun Jason really was like oh you killed me? Okay well I'm gonna steal your old name and make it my own to the point people forget it ever was your name just to show you how forgettable you are that makes us even now im gonna go torture Bruce

[thelittleredheadedmusician]

Family Gatherings

This is pure self indulgent fluff. Also the Phone Fic that I keep bloging about. Can be found here on my ao3! Rating: PG (Mild language) Words: 5,112 Gen

Family gatherings are not words generally associated with the individuals who make up Gotham’s vigilantes. Strategy meetings, subterfuge, infighting, assassin, spy, creepy, know it all. These are terms they are well versed in. This is why the text message that Bruce sent out at 9 am on Saturday was such a surprise.

“I request that all of you come to the manor for a family gathering at 7. Alfred will be serving dinner promptly at 7:30. What the hell is that supposed to mean Tim?!” Dick could practically hear his little brother shrugging on the other end of the phone.

“I dunno. Maybe he wants to go over his will.”

“That’s not funny and you know it.”

“C'mon Dick! Like you have a better explanation?”

Dick sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “No. Do you think everyone will come?”

“I know Steph and Harper will out of pure curiosity. Everyone else,” Tim paused and took a deep breath, releasing the rest of his sentence on the exhale, “who knows.”

Dick nodded, not really caring that he couldn’t be seen as habit was habit. “Ok. Well Damian will be, Cass for sure, Babs is going to be there cause she hates being out of the loop, Jason…” Dick trailed off, looking down at his bare feet. He’d woken to find the text blinking at him from a half dead phone screen. Knowing that he’d have seen it already too Dick immediately called Tim and had been pacing around the apartment in his pajamas with the now nearly dead cell to his ear.

“Yeah,” Tim said empathically.

“Maybe he’ll come for Alfred?” Dick tried.

“You know him better than I do.”

“You’re right. And I don’t even know why he does half the things he does. I’ve gotta charge my phone. I’ll see you later?”

Tim snorted. “Of course you do. Alright, yeah. I’m meeting up with Tam soon anyway. Bye.”

“Bye,” Dick frowned at the phone. Now that the call with Tim had ended it had returned to the group chat Bruce had sent his text in. Not a single person had replied and Bruce likely didn’t expect them to. Just that they showed up. He stuck it on a charger in the living room and went to get a shower. After breakfast Dick collapsed onto the couch. Having wrapped up a case the night before he decided to reward himself with some video games.

Dick started up Call of Duty, grabbing a controller and his headset. He smiled as he saw that both Roy and Wally were currently online. He started a game with them and as soon as he slipped the headset on he could hear Roy swearing already. “What gives, it’s like 7 or something out there. How the hell are both of you awake and playing video games?” He asked once the cursing died down.

Wally snorted as his character took out a sniper on the screen. “Linda and the kids went to visit her parents. I’ve got the house to myself for the weekend and Bart and I have been playing all night. Kid passed out about 2 hours ago.”

Dick shook his head and tried to figure out how many energy drinks the speedster must’ve downed in order to still be awake. Especially taking into account his metabolism.

“How’d you get out of going with?” Roy tossed a grenade into the building on the screen, causing the whole thing to be temporarily covered in cgi flames.

“I’m the Flash. And her parents don’t know. Plus I’m on call for the League.”

“Then how was staying up all night a good idea if you were on call?” Dick punched a complicated series of buttons that Tim had shown him, taking out the three guys on the roof and the two on the ground.

“Clark’s on monitor duty. I’m just the back up. And nobody does anything in the middle of June. It’s like common knowledge.”

The other two made noncommittal sounds of agreement as they continued to play.

“Alright, Roy what’s your excuse?” Dick tried to reload as they were ambushed from above.

“Lian had a nightmare. I just got her back to sleep about a half hour ago and now I can’t sleep. Living on the West Coast has its perks when your gaming buddies don’t get up ‘til noon and live in Jersey.”

“I don’t know which part of that I should be more offended by. The fact you think I don’t get up ‘til noon or the way you said Jersey.”

“Jersey,” the others replied in unison.

Dick scoffed and pouted, not that it did any good as his friends were in Keystone and Star respectively.

“Alright, you’re chattier than usual. What gives?” Roy asked.

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?” Dick sputtered.

Wally paused the game and snorted. “Dude. You’re being nosy. Even for you. Plus you only ever play Call of Duty if stuck on a case or having personal drama. We’ve known you since you were in pixie boots, doesn’t take a detective to know your quirks by this point.”

Dick groaned and put the controller down, scrubbing his hands down his face. “Bruce texted us all this morning that he’s having a ‘family gathering’,” he knew they’d hear the implied air quotes in his tone, “and that we’re all expected to be there.”

“That’s rough,” Wally told him.

“Yeah man. D'you know why?” Roy added.

“No. And I don’t even know if everyone’s gonna bother showing up. He did it in a group chat but there still hasn’t been a response from anyone. I dunno. I honestly think I’d be less stressed if he’d said there was a mass break out at Arkham and we needed to meet for assignments.”

“Ok, that’s depressing. Also the fact that breakouts don’t even phase you anymore? Like? The hell?” Wally said, still obviously on an energy drink high.

“If we start an argument about rogues we’re gonna get so off topic and be here forever,” Dick shot back.

Grumbling could be heard from Wally but Dick was satisfied that his friend wouldn’t say anything.

“Lemme guess. You’re worried about Jason. You think cause Bruce asked you guys to come he’s not gonna bother,” Roy speculated.

“Pretty much,” Dick sighed. “Have you heard from him recently?”

“Sorry man. Last I heard he was running around with that new team of his. I think he’s still a little pissed I rejoined the Titans,” Roy replied.

“Yeah. Ok. Thanks.”

“Not a problem. Whine at us anytime, that’s what friends are for,” Dick could hear the smirk Roy was giving him.

“That and getting drunk at dive bars while listening to crappy cover bands together,” Wally chimed in.

Dick burst out laughing at that. “You can’t even get drunk!”

“So? Doesn’t mean I can’t go with!” Wally sounded wounded but Roy didn’t care about offending the other redhead and Dick knew his friend was about ready to crash and wasn’t going to remember much of this conversation anyway.

“Go to sleep West,” Roy got out between snorts.

“Seriously dude. Way too many red bulls.”

Wally grumbled and finally said, “Fine. Whatever. Text bout what happens,” before signing off.

“So do you think he’ll show?” Roy asked once he caught his breath.

“I honestly don’t know. As far as I’ve heard none of us have done anything to particularly piss him off recently. Not even Bruce. And it was a request, granted he’s going to just expect us all to be there but the text at least made it sound optional. And it said Alfred would be there which is always a plus for Jay.”

“Well good luck and keep me in the loop. I’m always willing to act as an outside opinion on your family’s drama,” Roy told him.

Dick chuckled. “That’s just because it makes your family drama look tame.”

“You bet! We made be loud and extremely dysfunctional but at least we haven’t tried to kill each other.”

“You make that sound like it happens a lot,” Dick whined.

“Dude.”

“Ok, ok. I’ll text you later.” Dick closed the game and pulled his headset off. Tossing it onto the coffee table he laid down on the couch. He was still unsure about what was going to happen later that night but he at least felt better knowing that he had friends who would let him vent afterward.

Dick swung his legs off the couch and stood in one fluid motion. He grabbed his phone, headphones, and keys and decided to go for a jog. It was a nice day, Gotham wasn’t too busy on a Saturday in the early afternoon, maybe he could have a normal jog for once. He returned to his apartment 20 minutes later after avoiding no less than six paparazzi, being cat called about ten times, and literally running into Helena. She had been out for a jog too and while he was trying to lose a particularly insistent cameraman they had both rounded the corner at the same time going in opposite directions. She had not been happy, yelling something about how he should watch where he’s going and “Dammit Grayson! That hurt!” As well as a mix of fairly creative curses in Italian.

Dick had offered to make it up to her but she just waved him off. Saying “You and Barbara are obviously both distracted. Bruce has got you ex sidekicks seriously messed up with these mind games. I’ll just send you Zinda and my next bar tab.” Dick had felt himself visibly pale at that and she had laughed and said not to worry before continuing on her way.

Dick was still pondering over her mention that Babs was distracted too. Obviously Bruce’s text was having some effect on her that Helena had mentioned it. Normally, the Birds were close knit and never talked about personal business with the rest of Gotham’s heroes. Especially not the personal business of Oracle their fearless leader.

Flopping back down on his couch Dick fished his phone out of his pocket. He tapped out a quick text to Babs and hit send, hopping something hadn’t suddenly sprung up that needed her attention. Luckily that wasn’t the case as her response was practically immediate.

~What’s up boy wonder? Helena said you ran into her and that you were super frazzled.

~I was wondering if you had heard anything about what Bruce wants us for tonight.

Her response to that took a bit longer and her words were obviously a bit more measured.

~No, I haven’t heard a thing. Why? Have you?

~No. I talked to Tim this morning and he says that he’s in the dark too. It’s obviously nothing serious but it’s been bugging me all day.

Her response to that was more relaxed. If he had to guess he’d say she had thought he knew something she didn’t, and Dick knew that she hated that.

~Me too! I can’t figure out what it is he could possibly want to talk about that we ALL need to be there. I mean, you boys and Cass yeah. Me, Steph, & Harper? Idk. Have you heard from Damian or Jason at all?

~No. I was going to head over in a bit to bug D though. Nothing on Jay.

~Yeah, same here. I kinda hope he comes at least for Alfred but…

~I was thinking the same thing Babs.

~Oh well. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. I’ll talk to ya later pixie boots.

~You’re one to talk miss go-go.

Her response was simply the eye roll emoji and Dick snorted as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. He let his head fall against the back of the couch and fell into a light doze. He woke from his brief nap and patted his shorts for his phone. There were no new messages from Babs, Bruce, Tim or anyone else. No missed calls or alien invasions either. The time told him he ought to get ready and head to the manor if he wanted to pump Damian for information. As well as just hang out with his youngest brother.

Once dressed in jeans and a clean t-shirt Dick headed to garage that occupied the basement of his apartment building. Shrugging on a leather jacket and fastening his helmet he gave the bike’s engine a good rev before driving up the ramp and onto the streets of Gotham.

Knowing that the cops would definitely try and stop Dick Grayson for speeding he made sure to restrain himself from weaving in and out of traffic, especially because Nightwing would be pushing the motorcycle through its paces soon enough. Sitting in Gotham wasn’t enjoyable but being able to fly up the manor’s long gravel drive sure made up for it. He pulled in next to Steph’s purple Mini Cooper, glad to see the Compact was holding up for her. He cut the engine and took his helmet off, giving his head a shake to undo any helmet hair.

Bounding up the steps he swung the over large front door open with a shout of “Hello? Anybody actually above ground?”

The sound of running feet could be heard coming from somewhere on the second floor as Dick put his jacket and helmet on the coat rack. He turned just as he heard a sharp “-tt-” coming from the balcony at the top of the steps. Damian stood there with his arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed, the twitch of his lips betrayed his annoyed facade. “Must you be so abhorrently loud, Grayson?”

“Must you be using SAT vocab at such a young age?” Dick shot back with a grin.

Damian rolled his eyes but his arms fell to his sides and his mouth finally turned up into a smile. “Brown and Row have coerced Cassandra into assisting in appropriating my room, the extra person on my side would be helpful.”

Dick chuckled, “Whatever you say Dami.” He ran up the stairs and followed Damian down the hall to his room. Sure enough the three girls were spread over the plush carpeting, nail polish bottles and other manicure supplies between them.

Damian crossed the room and sat himself on his bed next to Titus and Alfred the cat. The three watched the teen girls from their perch, Damian with minor annoyance, Titus with amusement, and Alfred with the type of utter nonchalance only achieved by felines. The girls glanced up at Dick who had paused in the doorway. Cass’s face immediately lit up and she fluidly rose to her feet and came over to wrap her arms around his neck. Dick returned the hug as she whispered a warm “Hi” in his ear.

“Hey Cass,” he murmured back. She let go and skipped back to the others. Harper gave him a small, two-fingered salute while Steph waved with a large smile. “How long have you been here?”

“Too long,” Damian instantly grumbled.

Harper snorted and Steph nearly doubled over in a fit of giggles. Cass quirked an eyebrow at her little brother before calmly sticking her tongue out at him. “We came for brunch with Cass as we had originally planned and just stayed since we all received the super mysterious text,” Steph told him once she had recovered from her laughter, which had doubled thanks to Cass’s antics.

Dick nodded in response and sat himself down on the floor next to them. Damian gave a short “-tt- Traitor.” He did however edge closer to the end of the bed where he could participate in their conversation.

Dick picked up a bottle of forest green polish and examined it. Cass held out her left hand to him, the fingers of which had been painted, to show him the color. He nodded and gestured that she let him do her other hand. Cass turned to face him as Dick shook the bottle. “So have you guys heard anything about tonight?”

“I wish,” Harper said with a slight huff. “He just kinda grumbled and bolted when we asked.”

“Seriously. We were having our lovely quasi weekly brunch and chatting with Alfred and chasing away this gremlin,” she waved her bright yellow nails at Damian who furrowed his brows indignantly. “All of a sudden, Mr I-am-the-night-and-cannot-properly-socialize-without-being-forced-by-my-over-energetic-ex-sidekick-or-alien-and-amazon-besties walks in-”

Dick nearly choked as a laugh burst out of his mouth, interrupting Steph.

“Can I help you?” She deadpanned with a raised brow.

“I’m good. Just, that’s a new one. Keep going.”

Steph sniffed and flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “As I was saying. Bruce walks in and kinda blinks at all of us sitting in his kitchen. Using his surprise to our advantage Harper courageously seized the moment and asked him what exactly this family gathering will entail tonight. He froze, looking exactly like a cat-sized crime alley rat in the batmobile’s headlights, while Cass jumped up to block his exit. I immediately jumped to add my assistance by asking if this means that Harper, Duke, and myself are technically family too at this point. He just blinked, grabbed a muffin, said something highly unintelligible, and beat a hasty retreat.” Steph gave a sharp nod before turning back to her nails.

Dick had to stop doing Cass’s nails as he was trying too hard on not laughing to keep his hand steady. She swatted at him before rolling her eyes and turning to Damian. “Come,” she said, handing him the nail polish. Damian blinked but skootched to the floor next to Cass and diligently began painting her nails.

Dick wiped at his eyes, trying to remember why he had been so against Steph being Batgirl when the two so easily amused each other. “So we’ve got nothing?” he finally asked.

“Nope,” Cass said, admiring Damian’s handiwork.

Harper tossed a bottle of matte black at the youngest Robin and waved her hand toward Dick. Damian blinked but began shaking the bottle and moved to sit in front of Dick. With a shrug he gave his little brother his hand to be painted. “We tracked down Duke then and asked him what he knew. Nada. Honestly we were kinda hoping you’d bring some info with you,” Harper added.

“I’ve got nothing,” he told them with a shrug. “Neither do Tim or Babs.”

“Have you tried contacting Todd?” Damian looked up from Dick’s hand.

“No. He threatened to have baby ducks imprint on me if I called him again.” Damian nodded sagely at that.

“I’m sorry, what?” Harper’s head and eyebrows had shot up.

“He’s been doing that lately. Something about how ‘we all have a death wish but we’ll take care of cute baby animals’ or something,” Steph said, using a poor imitation of Jason’s voice as she acted out his threat.

“You’re kidding?” Harper obviously didn’t believe them.

Cass just shook her head gravely. “No. And baby ducks? No patrol for months.”

“Plus they’re so darn cute like how could you not want to love them?” Steph said in a rush.

“Brown is correct. Also, it is entirely within Todd’s skill set to get them to imprint on one of us.” Damian looked at Harper seriously before turning back to apply another coat to Dick’s nails.

Harper blinked at them before narrowing her eyes, “If you guys are shitting me right now I swear…”

“Scouts honor!” Dick called and held up the three-finger salute.

Damian batted at his hand. “I swear Grayson if I have to redo this,” he grumbled.

“C’mere,” Steph tugged on Damian’s arm and held up a dark shimmering blue. He nodded and allowed her to begin painting.

“So do we have any ideas at least? I know you guys aren’t the type to just let something go,” Dick watched the others.

Cass shot him a smirk. “Understatement.”

There was a knock on the door frame and they all looked up to see Tim and a rather unsure looking Duke standing there. “Alfred told us that you were all up here. Mind if we come in?”

Damian sniffed, “It’s not like my opinion matters at this point.”

“I’m going to take that as a yes…” Tim walked in and took a seat next to Steph.

She squinted at him before leaning forward to search through the pile of small glass bottles. She found whatever one she was looking for and held it up triumphantly. “Maroon?” She asked Tim, waving it just in front of his nose. Tim shrugged and let her pull his hands towards him.

Duke sat down cautiously next to Dick. “So do they always do your nails or…?”

Dick smiled at him. “We don’t really get a say in the matter. Cass just paints them when you fall asleep if you say no.” The girl in question waggled her brows and grinned.

“What about Bruce’s?” Duke asked as he watched Harper shifting through the pile, holding colors up for Cass to consider.

“Ballet Slipper. Once a month,” Cass showed Duke the light pink color. His eyes widened in disbelief and Dick couldn’t help but laugh. Finally, Harper held up a pale orange that both Cass and Dick nodded at. She crawled towards Duke and pulled his hands onto her lap.

“So ideas regarding our impending doom?” Dick asked.

“Like I told you before, I think it’s a reading of his will. He even texted Kate and with the exception of Damian she’s his only living blood relative,” Tim said, peering over the top of Steph’s head.

“Damn Timbo. Way to be morbid. Also, why would I be here if that were the case seeing a how I am legally deceased.” They all whipped their heads to see Jason leaning in the doorway, a smirk on his lips and a nasty glint in his eye. He sauntered in and plopped himself down between Steph and Cass. “Give me the most obnoxious color you have,” he challenged.

“How bout this?” Harper wiggled her own bright metallic pink at him.

Jason scrunched up his nose with a “nah.”

Dick rummaged around in the pile before pulling out a glitter gold. He threw it to Jason who caught it and beamed. “Why thank you Dickie-bird.”

“So, uh, why did you come then?” Duke asked.

Jason shrugged and began to paint his own nails. “You know what they say. Curiosity killed the cat.”

“But satisfaction brought it back,” Duke finished the expression.

Jason gave the other boy a Cheshire smile. “I knew I liked you.” He then continued to add layers of glitter. They all just stared in shock for a few seconds. Jason looked up and his eyes skipped past them as he smiled. “Hey there Barbie. This Batgirl is free for manicure giving,” he said pointing to Cass.

Dick turned to see Babs just outside the door. Her expression was amused but the set of her mouth was definitely her trying to look annoyed. With an eye roll she wheeled herself into the room. “I thought we were supposed to be here for seven. Why is it that we all managed to get here just under three hours earlier?”

Dick pushed himself back up onto the bed so that he would be eye level with Barbara as the others offered up a jumble of explanations. “Paranoia” “Fear of the unknown” “Intrigue” and “Who the hell knows” were the few Dick could make out.

He mumbled “Slow day at the office” and caused Babs to crack up.

“That it is,” she told him with a smile. Cass held up a dark purple that Babs nodded at and before she could get up Dick grabbed the bottle. He turned to Babs and motioned for her hand. They spent the rest of the time leading up to the big meeting sitting in a circle in Damian’s room with painted nails and the animals now nudging for attention.

That was exactly how Bruce and Kate found them when they went looking for them. Dick had seen them coming up the hall and gave a quick jut of his chin to acknowledge them. They had stopped short of coming in though, Kate wearing a huge smile and Bruce his more subdued but still genuine lip twitch.

They stood there for a few seconds, watching as Steph and Jason fell against each other in a fit of giggles. Cass had taken the tiny hair rubber bands and was using them to give Damian braids. Duke and Tim were engaged in a detailed discussion of Lord of the Rings and Harper was letting Babs style her short blue hair. All in all they looked like an average, happy family.

Bruce cleared his throat and they all turned to see him and Kate. Cass leapt to her feet and hopped over the legs of everyone else to go give Bruce a hug. Dick couldn’t help but smile because the hug was obviously more forceful than the one she had given him. Or Bruce hadn’t been expecting it as he had swayed slightly when she had jumped up to wrap her arms around his neck. Kate laughed and ruffled Cass’s hair.

Once Cass released him Bruce attempted to recover by smoothing out the wrinkles in his polo shirt. Dick and the others simply waited, knowing that he would speak when ready. He looked up and gave another small smile. “Thank you all for coming. Kate has… explained to me that having monthly gatherings might help you all with your stress levels and, ah, work on interpersonal relations.”

Kate rolled her eyes and give him a sharp jab in the side courtesy of her elbow. Bruce shot her a wounded look that Dick had to try very hard not to laugh at but his cousin ignored it. “What the stick in the mud is trying to say is that we’re having a game night because you all need a morale boost. Now c’mon, Alfred’s got dinner ready.”

With that Kate turned on her heel and marched back down the hall. Bruce gave a sharp nod before following her in a hasty retreat. They all looked around at each other in a stunned silence. Dick pinched himself for good measure, this wouldn’t be the weirdest dream he’d ever had but it was still good to rule out the possibility.

“What the actual, ever-loving fuck?” Jason finally said.

“What he said,” Harper pointed at Jason, eyes wide.

“Grayson, you have the most experience with Father and his moods. What could this be about?” Damian looked up at him from the carpet.

Dick shrugged and shook his head. “I’m honestly as lost as you are. Maybe we should go eat and, I don’t know, enjoy it?”

They all looked much too suspicious to actually enjoy anything but Dick dutifully herded them towards the dining room. Tim hung back until he had fallen in step with Dick. “You don’t actually think he wants us to play monopoly with him or something?” The younger man asked.

“I really don’t know Tim. Kate’s been getting him to actually be Bruce rather than Brucie or Batman lately and this is obviously all her.”

Tim snorted, “Ya think?”

Dick ruffled Tim’s hair and gained a rather interesting hand flail and cat like yowling combination in protest. Finger combing his hair back into position Tim sent him a glare. “I think we should trust Kate on this one and see what happens. Also, you either need a haircut or one of those ponytails Cass had.”

Tim’s glare turned up to full on bat and had Dick not known the kid, or been just about anyone else, he probably would’ve run in fear. As it was he could handle a few dirty looks from Tim.

Dinner was delicious, as everything Alfred made was. The conversation was semi-normal too. Steph complaining about classes, Harper talking about her work at the clinic, Dick told them about his run in with Helena that Babs then added the other half of the story to. No one made a single death threat, no food or utensils were thrown, and all insults were good natured teasing. For a second Dick thought he fell into a parallel world.

That feeling only got worse as Alfred chased them to the living room while he cleaned up. Jason stayed to help and the butler begrudgingly let him. The two joined the others soon enough and they began an intense game of Cards Against Humanity. Alfred and Babs soon took the lead, surprising everyone except maybe Alfred himself.

Bruce came in dead last, only earning that position by having a single less card than Damian. Steph and Jason tied for second and in a surprise twist Cass won. Kate was still cackling at some of the combinations that had won and Babs was telling her she could send the security footage to her later. They played well into the night and Barbara contacted the Birds to patrol as Bruce indicated that the assembled vigilantes were not leaving anytime soon. By the wee hours of the morning they had all stumbled upstairs to their respective bedrooms with the exception of Kate, Bruce, Alfred, and Dick himself.

He had stretched out on the floor watching as Kate slowly took over the sofa and Bruce was forced to go claim his recliner. Alfred chuckled from the love seat, a late-night cup of tea in hand.

“So how do you think it went, chum?” Bruce asked him once he had settled.

Dick shrugged, feeling his shoulders push against the carpet. “You had us all really worried. Tim was convinced that you were going to read us your will.”

Bruce snorted, Kate cracked up and sat up to be able to look down at Dick. “You’re kidding,” she accused.

Dick smirked, “I wish.”

They all laughed and once it had died down Alfred said, “Well you do have a tendency to have the whole family over only in the case of emergencies, Master Bruce.”

That received a small “Hnnh.”

“He’s right. I was telling Roy and Wally that I would’ve been less worried if it had been an Arkham breakout.”

Bruce shot him a wounded look before frowning at a point just above the fireplace. “I want to try and change that,” he finally said.

“If it helps I think this was a really good start. Monthly family game nights definitely are a thing normal people do. And I had fun, I think the others did too. Even Jason,” Dick told him candidly. Bruce nodded, a small smile forming. “Just next time don’t call it a family gathering. You scared the crap out of all of us.”