#you know what reminds me of cannibalism? DISNEY!

[koridoru]

Can I request scenario? Plot is next: Muzan in love with his female S/O and at some point decides to confess to her that he is demon. But, instead of being shocked or scared, she is very happy about that, because she can share her food with him, and seeing his confused look, explain to him that she is cannibal.

(this is like the second cannibal ask I've gotten is op ok 😭)

(man i can see the dates on asks now and OOF this is from 2021 augh 😭)

You and Muzan were quite the couple, a power couple, should it be called.

You had been together for about eight months now, Muzan was considering tying the knot already.

But one thing stood in the way, he was a demon, you weren't.

God, he didn't want to even tell you, he couldn't imagine the look of betrayal on your face.

He was cruel and cold hearted, but for whatever reason, not with you.

It took a while, but he mustered up the courage to just tell you.

He opens the door to your room, where you sat on a coushin, brushing your hair.

You look back and smile at him.

"How are you doing, darling?"

Your voice is so sweet he can barely take it.

"My dear, I have to...talk to you about something. Something important."

The sincerity in his voice worries you.

You stand up, setting your comb down.

You walk over to him, taking his hands into yours.

"Is something wrong?"

"It..it should be nothing, dear. I don't want to trouble you."

He puts a finger under your chin, raising your head a bit to face him.

"Darling, I...well.."

You cock your head in confusion.

"Are you aware of...demons?"

Your eyes widen just a bit.

"Yes, I am. Why?"

"Well..." He sighs.

"I suppose I should have told you sooner, but, I am one."

You look shocked, initially, but that soon fades.

You smile at him, which confuses him.

"Well, that explains a lot, especially since I've never seen you eat, or go out in the day."

"You're... you're not upset?"

You shake your head.

"Of course not, now I know I can share my meals with you."

His brows furrow, his blood almost runs cold when you say that, if it wasn't cold already.

"Share your meals? What do you mean?" His voice is laced with confusion.

"I eat people too, silly."

His eyes widen, he hesitate to speak.

"You what? I...are you a demon as well?"

"No, I'm a human who also eats humans." Your tone is oddly cheery and unbothered.

It takes a moment, but he realizes.

He sighs a bit, feeling like a fool.

"I understand. What a lucky man I am to have found a lover who understands me like you do, while also sharing a diet. Well, I don't see any reason to hide anything else from you, dear."

He smiles handsomely, you giggle and hug him close, excited about your future meals together.

"Hmm...what would you say is the tastiest part of a person?"

"Well, that's hard...I suppose the more meaty parts, the thighs, stomach, and sometimes the biceps if they are stronger."

You nod in agreement.

[jenchan-writingmultis]

Twisted Wonderland Boys x Fem Reader in their respective Fairytales (Series)

─────❅───── This was an ask by @cartoonykat I couldn't compile it in the inbox, m sorryyy (╥﹏╥) "Hi, I was wondering if you could do a Twisted Wonderland Boys (Except ortho) x Reader, Where they are in their respective Disney tale, or a fairytale that fits their character?" A/n: This is a pretty broad idea that makes me want to do a whole series about it! Maybe I’ll do everyone… but first I’ll put housewardens and their vice housewardens first! Thank you for requesting this! I was a bit lost how I can do this one but hopefully I hit the right point! It’ll be split into a series, cause when I was writing I realized, it got long. Hope you like it! About the Gender, I put fem, but the gender wasn't that specific in each part, it's very vague. Masterlist

─────❅───── Content Warning: This Fic will be tagged as 16+ since it is a bit suggestive along with mentions of Gorey themes (Azul), it’s very vague. I haven’t finished Book 6 and Book 7 because I’m stuck in Tartarus, but they’re not done here yet. Riddle (Suggestive Themes), Leona (Cussing, Blood mention), Azul (Obsession, Manipulation, Cussing once, Potential Cannibalism? (He eats merpeople who are turned into Polyps). The reason for potential OOC was cause I mixed both the classic Villains with the personality of our beloved boys Due to the Tumblr Limit, Each one will be divided unfortunately, hopefully it's an easy navigation for all of you! ─────❅─────

First Batch would be: Riddle, Leona, Azul Second Batch would be: Kalim, Idia, Malleus

List of Villains interconnecting with each character:

Riddle = Queen of Hearts

Leona = Scar

Azul = Ursula

─────❅───── Sypnosis: After an experiment gone wrong, you and Grim along with Deuce concocted a potion that exploded in your face, you fell into deep slumber, and due to the effects of the potion, it caused you to dream about your boyfriend/s reigning as their… villain counterparts?! And why are you in the outfit of the main character? What’s going on? ─────❅───── Riddle:

When you woke up as Alice, you didn’t expect to see Riddle in his housewarden outfit. This time, however, he was acting a bit strange. By strange, he was hostile with you, reminding you of the time when he was still in his strict, crazy, unjust ruler phase.

You thought that you were probably dreaming because there’s no way Riddle would ever be rough with you like this. Even before, he was often gentle with you, especially knowing that you were magicless. He was harsh with his words, sure, but he never laid a finger on you. The only time he did was during his overblot, but after that, he was the softest man you’d ever encountered.

“State your name,” he glanced at your figure sprawled down Infront of him, voice amplified with authority as he gripped a staff adorned with a heart symbol. He was the true image of a king—or rather, a queen. His authoritative presence reminded you of the true Queen of Hearts, whom he admired and aspired to emulate.

“Riddle don’t be ridiculous” You were hurt that he didn’t remember you since you two were practically dating in the real world, a vein throbbed on his head, patience running thin. He slammed his staff on the ground, the force sending shockwaves through the air and producing a loud clang. "I said, state. your. name.” he glared down at you, looking at you as if you were a feeble flea in front of him. "You're quite bold talking back to me"

Getting intimidated, you immediately stated your name as well as the reason why you were here truthfully, at first, he wanted to laugh at your face, transported to another world? Don’t be stupid, as if he’d believe you.

You managed to convince him that you truly were not from here by pointing out the fact that he didn’t know who you were despite ruling Wonderland. He, as the ruler, should have data on every citizen of his region, right?

That made him pause. He should have beheaded you for disrespecting him in front of his people, but you did have a point; Despite his anger issues and his pride taller than himself, he listened to what you said. “I see” tracing his fingers along the side of his staff. Narrowing his eyes at you, he continued, "If what you say is true, then you will have to stay here until I figure out how to send you back to your world."

“You’re helping me?” You finally lifted your head to look at his expression, wondering if he was lying or not, then again this was Riddle we’re talking about, he doesn’t do empty promises. Scoffing, he turned around to leave, the crimson mantle that draped on his shoulders fluttered prettily, he really was pretty.

“I rather have you gone than stay here for a while longer, so please, do appreciate that I tolerate you” he walked away, soldiers bowing in sync as he left the throne, “Trey, escort them to the guest room” he added, voice fading, Trey walks towards you, offering his hand to help you stand. “Well, this is a surprise, he spared you” he chuckles a bit while you look at him incredulously, unlike Riddle who had a housewarden outfit but a bit more exaggerated; Trey looked like a completely different person with his knightly outfit, and hair still the same, albeit neater than his usual.

“Trey?” you asked, he looked confused as you are, “Yeah? My name’s Trey Clover, you heard your royal highness, you get special treatment” Straight to the point as always, he ushers you to the guest room.

Sitting down on the soft bed, you didn’t know what to do next, will Riddle find a way to get you back home? Wake you up? You didn’t know, but you felt comforted by the fact that some familiar faces were around, despite them not knowing you.

Riddle didn’t understand himself; he kept a close eye on you while you were free to roam his territory. Truthfully, he was going to punish you, when he heard the news about a rat skewering and destroying some of his lands; however the moment he saw you, he felt an odd feeling as if he knew you, keeping his stoic façade as you were pushed inside and in front of him, he was going to be rough as usual with criminals, but for some reason, he really couldn’t with you.

You also acted as if you knew him with the way you looked at him and the way you got hurt with his harsh tone. Seeing you wither infront of him made his heart feel unpleasant and he didn’t want to see that expression you again, so he decided to stop talking to you; It was unlike him to not only halt your punishment but also offer you a bed to sleep in and have his servants feed you.

Should he be worried that you have that kind of effect on him? He could guillotine you any time, but the way you unconsciously trusted him, thinking about having you executed made him feel bad.

Part 2 (Riddle)

[cherry-girl444]

🎸⋆⭒˚｡⋆SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF THE PASTAS🎸⋆⭒˚｡⋆

Music i think the pastas listen to or what reminds me of them<3

-`♡´-ENJOY!-`♡´-

╔══════════════════╗

JEFF THE KILLERִ ࣪𖤐◞ ꙳ ๋࣭ ⭑ `

(I mean i totally head canon him as emo and a metal head so here are some ones that i took from my "For jeff the killer" playlist <3)

.Partners in crime-set it off, ash costello (ARE YOU KIDDING THIS SONG IS SOOOO GOOD AND ITS SO HIM)

.Wolf in sheeps clothing-set it off (DUDE THIS SONG WAS MY FAVORITE SONG OF ALL TIMEEE LIKE 2 YEARS AGO...BUT YEAH I TOTTALY SEE HIM SINGING THIS AND HIM JUST LIKING THIS SONNG IN GENERAL)

.Monster-Skillet (THIS IS DEFINETLY ON HIS PLAYLIST, ARGUE WITH THE WALL.)

.I hate everything about you-Three days grace (DUDE WHAT THIS IS SO HIM. IT LITERALLY SCREAMS ANGSTY CHAOTIC JEFF. ALSO THIS SONG IS STILL SUCH A BANGER OML)

.Sarcasm-get scared (IK I HATE ON JEFF FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES BUT IM OBLIGATED TO LOVE HIM IN A SENSE BC HIS MUSIC TASTE IS JUST SOO AAAAAH LIKE WHY DID HE STEAL MY WHOLE PLAYLIST....BUT SO MANY OF "GET SCARED"S SONGS ARE SO HIM"

.Good girls bag guys-falling in reverse (SAME THING WITH FALLING IN REVERSE, SO MANY OF THEIR SONGS JUST SCREAM JEFF, ESSPICALLY THIS ONE LIKE WHAT)

.Sexy drug-falling in reverse (SEE WHAT DID I SAY)

-Criminal-Brittany spears (ITS LITERALLY HIM)

╔══════════════════╗

TICCI TOBY ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

.My axe-ICP (LITERALLY TOBY)

.Saint Brenard-Lincoln (IDK THERES SMTH ABOUT THIS SONG

.Father-The front bottoms (I DEFINETLY SEE THIS IN HIS PLAYLIST)

. Chop suey! -System of a down (HE DEF LISTENS TO THIS RELIGEOUSLY)

.Tears over beers-Modern baseball (I SO SEE HIM BEING MIDWEST EMO)

.Tear you apart- she wants revenge (I ALSO SEE THIS AS A JEFF SONG AS WELL BUT ALSO TOBY)

╔══════════════════╗

NINA THE KILLER⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧

.Pretty little psycho (THIS SONG IS SO HER IDC)

. Pretty scene girl!-Clover! (IK THIS PRETTY SCENE GIRL I WISH YOU COULD HAVE SEEN HER IK SHE GOT SOME PROBLEMS BUT I DONT WANNA LEAVE HER)

.Kiss me again-kets4eki (KISS ME KISS ME KISS ME AGAINNN)

.All i want is you-Rebzyyx (A LOT OF REBZYYX MUSIC JUST SCREAMS NINA)

.Im so crazy for youuu </3-Rebzyyx (UR SO UPSET WITH ME BUT IM SO OBSESSED WITH YOU<3)

.Yandere-Jazmin Bean (YAYAYAYAAAYAY JAZMIN REFERENCE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH)

.Love taste-Moe shop (SHE DEFINETLY LISTENS TO THIS)

.Crazy girls-TOOPOOR (SHES LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF THE SONG)

.Freak show-punkinlovee (NINA CORE)

╔══════════════════╗

BEN DROWNED ₊ ⊹

.Welcome to the internet-Bo burnham (IDK ITS JUST SO BEN)

.#Brooklynbloodpop!-SyKo

.Spy?-WHOKILLEDXIX (THIS IS DEF THE TYPE OF MUSIC HE LISTENS TO)

.Discord-The living tombstone (I JUST KNOW HE WOULD BE A LIVING TOMBSTONES FAN)

.Never-Mag.lo

.Sugarcrash!-EllyOtto (IDK WHY I SEE HIM AS AN EDM/HYPERPOP PERSON AS WELL)

.Nowhere to run-Stegosaurus rex

╔══════════════════╗

❣LAUGHING JACK❣

-Rainbows and stuff-ICP (THIS SONG IS UNBELIEVABLY LJ CODED)

-Carousel-Melanie martinez (THIS SONG IS SO SO SO SO LJ)

-Insane in the brain-cypress hill

-HAHA-lil darkie

-Mad hatter-Melanie martinez

-In my room-ICP

-Vending machine of love-The stupendium (I SERIOUSLY DK WHY WHENEVER I LISTEN TO THIS SONG I PICTURE LJ)

-Pink elephants on parade-Disney studio chorus (U BEST BET THIS IS PLAYING AT HIS CARNIVALS

-The masochism tango-Tom lehrer (AAAAH)

-An unhealthy obsession-the blake robinson synthetic orchestra

╔══════════════════╗

EYELESS JACKﮩـﮩﮩ٨ـ🫀ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

-The zombie song-Stephanie Mabey (IF I WERE A ZOMBIE ID NEVER EAT YOUR BRAIN </3)

-Saccharine -Jazmin bean (THIS IS SONG IS DEFINETLY EJ WHENEVER HE FALLS IN LOVE)

-Misery meat-Sodikken

-Monster-Lady gaga

-Cannibal-Kesha

-Blow my brains out-Tikkle me

-Animal i have become-Three days grace

-People eater-Sodikken

╔══════════════════╗

JANE THE KILLER 𓆇🕸️𓆸

-Brutus-The buttress(JANE CODED FR)

-Killer queen-Queen

-Bring me to life-Evanescence (SHE KIND OF LOOKS LIKE AMY LEE IN ONE OF HER PHOTOS TOO)

-Living dead girl-Rob zombie

-Shes my collar-Gorillaz, kali uchis

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

[cursedcupcakemaster]

Okay so this is a follow up to one of my fics from my deleted blog but it's a continuation for a gift series for @melodyseashell22 for her oc Melody

Warnings:implied deaths, blood, carnage, mafia implications, eating of human flesh(idk if you can call it cannibalism with them being merpeople )

Notes:I don't own Melody Seashell she belongs to @melodyseashell22 or any of twisted wonderlands characters they belong to Disney and Yana Tobosos wonderful mind , Floyd is married to Melody in this ,I own Bonnie Hattleaxe

Type:Poison candy apple

Floyd Leech x Melody Seashell

Family comes first

Ever since the Seashell family was killed. Things had been going downhill for their associates, one group of idiots had been stupid enough to kidnap the couples grandchildren. They hadn't expected to meet the sticky end that came with trying to cause a stir in the Leech family. The daughter of the couple had married into said family and he wasn't a fan of the way the poor girl was being treated. If there was one thing Floyd Leech despised more than boredom it was maltreatment of Melody so he decided to have a nice family reunion to send a little message to anyone else stupid enough to try anything. The state of the bodies should have loud and clear to them.

The man that the Seashells worked for at the top knew it was a matter of time before he was liable to be next since he was the one who wanted the Leechs gone, not just the parents. It didn't help that his son was found in the school he was meant to attend only to be butchered like a pig. Reginald knew if he wanted to avenge Horst he had to act and fast.

Of course just breaking in was a death wish so Reginald had his men sent to the home of the Leechs' to invite them right proper , not even they were dumb enough to start something in his home. Of course he certainly wasn't expecting what would come.

Floyd and Jade Leech along with their mother came into Reginalds home within the span of an hour with the mother of the two clearly unhappy despite the sickly sweet smile present on her lips

"Care to explain yourself Mr Fletch?~" she cooed out as her perfectly manicured nails tapped on the mahogany table .

"I was merely trying to remind them they've taken plenty from me " he said calmly lighting a cigar while drinks were brought to the table

Floyd hearing this glared at him as his pupils became small

"Is that what you call sending small fry to my house to terrorize my wife and babies?" He hissed

"Oh come on now you know too well they weren't gonna kill them"

At this the other twin much calmer spoke "it doesn't matter you still sent people who didn't belong there"

Reginald went silent for a moment before he spoke again once the food was brought out

"Did either of you think of how I felt when my son was reported to me by an associate that he was gone. "

At this Floyd laughed making Reginald sneer

"Whats funny boy. "

"That he thought he had a shot with my Melody and he thought he could simply get away with messing with her when she said no. "

Reginalds eyes narrowed

"Besides he shouldn't have tried when she never showed any interest from the start" Jade added

Reginald was worried now , he had ordered his men to poison the food with one he was immune to but was sure they wouldn't be and he felt his heart start to race once the mother smiled

"Something the matter?~" she cooed as he began to cough

Reginald knew now , he was doomed

"Did you think we wouldn't know what you tried?" Jade asked sarcastically

"How h how did you-" he tried to choke out

"Oh a little bribe here and there certainly goes a long way when you know your enemy~" Mrs Leech said in her sugary sweet voice

"You tried to hurt our family again. So we made sure Melody was home. We had plenty ready just in case you decided to pull something. " Floyd grinned darkly as he showed Reginald the result of his attempt on his wives life a young woman's shoes a color that matched the crimson that stained the floor and an axe in the ground surrounded by the remains of Reginalds men

"Family comes first right? ~ well I wasn't about to lose mine" Floyd sneered into the man's face as he coughed up blood

"Y you have no right to say that, n not when y you stole my son from me" he sputtered as he began to cough up more blood

"I think you lost the right to stand on the higher ground a long time ago , Floyd" Jade said before Floyd came over smiling

Just a few days later Mama Leech smiled setting down dinner

"I hope you don't mind me cooking for you dear~" she smiled at Melody who only had a kind look in her eyes as her mother in law gave her, her and the children's dinner

"Of course not we love your food mama" Melody said as the babies looked ready to eat

"Eat as much as you want honey there's plenty more ~" Floyd smiled kissing his wives cheek

Of course she didn't have to worry Floyd would always provide for her and the children, it helped that Bonnie was more than happy to offer assistance

Floyd himself knew Family came first as it always should, unlike the man who would no doubt never see to fix his mistakes where he was

[popculturebuffet]

Indy Prelude: Carl Barks; The Seven Cities of Cibola! (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy adventuerers!

Since I last covered duck comics. While Disney Ducks built this fine institution the fact is other disney properties, other cartoons and comics in general, and general nonsense have simply take up more of my time. But it's always good to return home and just in time as this is also a prelude to something duck adjacent. a franchise that may not exist without good ole scrooge mcduck.

Yup just in time for Dial of Destiny we're taking a look at the indiana jones film quintology! From one of the most loved films of all time with too many quotable lines to count and more nazi's turned to goo than you can shake a staff of ra at, to it's divsive followup featuring the most iconic heart ripping in human history, a future oscar winner, and the directors wife, to the film almost as iconic as the original with sir sean connery, holy grails and more nazis, and all the way into that fourth film what people don't like to talk about with nuclear explosions, greasers, communists and actual cannibal Shia Lebouf, cumulating in a film I.. don't have a ton of antedotes about because it hasn't come out yet? Indy punches a protester and deals with the horrifying consequences of age and america working with the nazis? I dunno, i'm just excited, kev's excited and hopefully you are.

I'm dead serious about Scrooge being part of the reason Indy exists though. While sadly not coming up in the fablemans, though likely because it might've been a bit too much of a LOOK LOOK SEE THE THING THAT WILL MAKE HIM FAMOUS LATER moment the film honestly avoided so I can respect the decision, Young Stevie was a huge fan of Scrooge McDuck, to the point his future succesful self did a forward for one of the many carl barks collections. It's not the only influence and i'm sure as I research Raiders, i'll no doubt find tons more direct ones, but it is a notable one that gets brought up quite a bit and it's easy to see why: Scrooge too is a globetrotting adventurer who has a successful day job (If a far less modest one), cares deeply about the history of what he finds, is a tad gruff, verbally pars with most love intrests, and takes the quick solution when it makes sense, so it's easy to see the compassions. The two are still different enough: Indy isn't in it for the money, generally adventures because he has to not for the thrill like scrooge, and Scrooge's only child we know of isn't a massive embarrassment, but you can still see how it left a mark and see Barks attention to culture, love of slow adventure, and humor in Indy.

That and one certain scene we'll get into in the comic is the direct inspiration for one of the most iconic scenes in film history.. but we'll get for that. For now we're taking a look at one fo the most legendary stories in the duck canon and seeing how it holds up, this is the Seven Citeis of Cibola!

We begin with what you all came to see

It's a neat enough visual gag and a reminder to me that most scrooge stories.. really didn't open with the big splash pages i'm used to in comics nor an actual story title

Though Barks still makes the best of it with the sight gag of Scrooge lieterally bathing in money. The setup to this one is brilliant too: Scrooge reflects on the fact he's got his feathers in just about every industry imaginable. Cannaries, Fisheries, Newspapers, Horse Races, Bibble Removal, Steam Cleaning, Steamed Hams, baseball, both kinds of football, mega football, calvinball, horeshoes, unicorn shoes, abestos, tabacco, cultural apporiation, robots, Goat Cheese Pizza, getting the cool shoeshine universal solvent, fishmobabywhirlmagigs, Spam, Crackers and Milk, Breaking Cat News, allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters, trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods, water meters, walke-talkies, copper wires, saftey googles, radial tiers, bb pellets, rubber mallets, fans , dehumidifiers, picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters, paint removers, window louves, masking tape, plastic gutters, kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables, hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power fogers, spoons and ladles, pesticides for fumigation, high peformance lubircation, metal roofing, water proofing, multi purpose insulation, air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors, tire gagues, hamster cages, thermostats, bug deflectors, trailer hitch demagntizers, automatic circumciers, tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and energizers, soffit panels, circuit brakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers, calculators, generators, maatching salt and pepper shakers, horse dewormer, fighting gold, repulsor technology, pym particles, Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosiiiiiiiissssssss, flying pigs, wild pigs, pigssssss innnnnn spaccceeeeeee, wilkins coffee, islands that walk like men, mood slime, chainsaws, saftey films, toner, donald duck abuse, Yoghurt Platinum, Clubmarine, Saltweens, Disco Dairy, Disco Duck, Lard, Trash Bag Wrestling, Superfast Jellyfish, The Gizmonic Institute, Cloning deboning, dethroning, stupid nintendo games, Rusty Shackleford, Molten Boron, SCTV, Squakabilly Taxi's, An Automatic Man, Wells for Boys, Flight Rings, decoder rings, olvatine, Krakoan Gates, Sealabs, Underwater Motor Scooters, Sex Bombs, Good Guy Dolls, The Last cult, Krustyburger,Chalk Tablet Towers, nerderotica, underwear, money, fat, hank.

The problem is he's got no more worlds to conquer: He's invested in everything, and thus can't make money on a NEW venture. Barks gets some great gags out of this too with Scrooge trying and failing to buy Gyro's newest gadget and a peanut stand, only to find out he OWNS both. It really shows that despite his horrifying wealth and influence.. scrooge can't ENJOY it. To him the fun's in the chase. The having's nice too, but the world just dosen't feel the same if there isn't another rainbow to chase, something I get as a book and film collector. It's great to have, but the looking is just as fun. It's something i'm sure most can relate to especially us nerds.

Thankfully Donald and the Boys just happen to drive by: their hunting arrow heads for 50 cents a piece over in the desert for Crazy Harry's House of Cultural Approritaion. That's Crazy Harry, the man with a snake on his face.

As you can guess this story has some dated bits: while Arrowheads are still treasured, I have one my grandpa gave me, it's not nearly as kosher to sell artifacts of someones' culture for fun and profit. Even as far back as 1980 Indy himself was doing it more for the joy of history and famously said it belongs in a museum.. and evne that's starting to slip as I saw on John Oliver last year. You can find his piece bellow.

And of course they use the i word instead of native americans or indegenous peoples.

Which is annoying , but not suprising.

So our heroes go looking for Arrowheads out in the generic desert. Weirdly for Carl Barks this Desert.. isn't a specific place. There's just suddenly a giant desert outside Duckburg. I didn't notice when reading the story for this review as Barks still packs in nice detail and makes it feel real, with our heroes having to conserve water, brave dust storms and track using realistic methods where tribes may of hunted their game. For the record it was the Pueblo who were linked to this, primarily settling in new mexico. I normally woudln't be this harsh on research, I got that bit from wikipedia after all, but given both how much Barks was lauded for it and how much care he usually puts in, it's weird to see him drop the ball a bit

At any rate our heroes soon find a trail and along it some treasures they take in to town to get examined. The curator there reveals their from The Seven Cities of Cibola, seven cities made of gold and gleaming with treasure, similar to EL Dorado, based on real life rumors about lost cities that turned out to be adobe huts, something Donald brings up. Barks does find a clever way for the myth to still be true, and a shockingly modern one: given the people who found it were conquistadors and heard it through rumors, it makes sense that the people they were conquering and mistreating wouldn't tell them where the city REALLY was. It's not phrased that way, but it's still brilliant.

So our heroes decide, well Scrooge and the Boys decide Donald is just sorta swept along by the tide as usual, to go after the city, figuring the trail leads there. THey stop at a diner for some nondescript hamburgers.. and end up evedroppsed on as nearbye the Beagle Boys are kicked out of an Aid for the Poor Center for welfare fraud and are told hey hey why don't you get a job, which has aged like fine milk on the sidewalk. They naturally follow scrooge smelling money and trail our heroes. I do like the Beagle Boys Inc t-shirts they wear in this shirt, before beagle boys inc was bought by feel good inc in the mid 2000's.

Once our heroes get going Barks DOES make up for his previous non-descriptness as he cites actual locations along the trail such as big bluff and the colorado river. We also get a nice tone: normally the adventure is scrooge dragging our heroes along and being a real dick but here there's a real sense of camradery and excitment ala ducktales 2017. The boys gladly use their guidebook to help while Scrooge uses his experince, the guidebook finding them shade. Eventaully it can only go so far and they end up lost, as do their persuers. They refill the canteens but eventuallyt heir dry. It's a nice showing of the dangers of the desret and the realisim Barks really likes to use in his stories. These may be cartoon ducks but they can die just like anyone else… except of old age but you know

Our heroes fortunes don't get better when the beagles blindsight them.. but plan to just up and leave, having had enough fo the desert and having NOT stocked up on water due to being too busy persuing scrooge, leaving our heroes free to persue the cities unabated.. but near death if they do'nt find water soon. Thankfully they find an old spanish galleon and more importantly

That said I do love Donald's expression here. Barks is a master at those. It does provide our heroes with a way forward, as the logbook details both the ships survivors meeting people clad in gold and a clue about the way the ships pointing at long last our heroes reach the seven cities.. and the sight is truly gorgeous.

And inside are countless treasures, a great sequence as we see pools of coins, ruby arrowheads and most importantly an emerald statue.. set on a trap. Yes this is where the parts Indy homages come in, as it's also on a weight trap, though a far more elaborate one that will destroy the city if activated. IT's clever adn I can see why speilberg and lucas reused it and i'ts diffrent enoguh in the indy version to work as Indy tries to actually take the statue and uses clever manuvering.

At any rate we get to the climax and.. this is where the story falls apart for me: it starts well enough: the beagle boys show up, throw our heroes in a bricked up prison and star tlooting..a nd naturally stupidly trigger the trap leading to the second half of the equation for INdy's iconic opening

But again done diffrently.. with indy we actaully SEE it chase him, so Speilberg got the clear diffrence between inspiration and outright theft. He took the basic idea but made something fresh with it.

The ending… is what really weakens the story for me: everyone gets amnesia, no one remembers and the city remains buried, with scrooge not willing to go back for measly arrowheads. This ending… is all kinds of dumb. For one Scrooge talked to the professor man, he might follow up, and two.. ther'es no real reason for it. I get not wanting a white idiot to loot a fantastic city, that part's fine. Everything about the climax works … except the amnesia part. Yes scrooge could dig, but he could also damage everything or there could be nothing left. The amnesia seems tacked on because Barks coudln't be bothered to come up with an actual reason why Scrooge woudln't go back, when the trail coudl've been lost in a storm or something or the beagle boys destroyed it on the way so while Scrooge gets resuced, he has no way back. There are other ways.

Overall the Seven Cities of Cibola is a decent outing. It has a LOT of good stuff, the slow methodical apporach with little action but a lot of intrigue, the gorgeous city, and the threat not being fantastic traps or anythin gbut simply the heat and environment, and the comedy is on point, with Scrooge going from hunting arrowheads to hunting a lost city all wrapping together. Again it's really the amnesia ending that hurts it: without it this would easily be one of my favirotie scrooge tales, a well done caper that again is shockingly slow paced, but in a delebrate well done way. The ending just drops it a few knotchs in my eyes. It's still worth a look, just temper your expectations>

Next Time: Dun dunnn dunn dunn dunn, dun dunn dunn dun dun dun dun dunnn dunn dunn da da da da, da da da da dun dun dun dun da da da, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dunnnn!

[candied-peach]

ao3: “christmas cookies” rating: T warnings: food, cannibalism mention, sympathetic remus, sympathetic deceit, moceitmus genre: fluff description: Deceit decorates cookies with his boyfriends. It sort of goes to plan. (prompt: “cookies”)

"Disney Kids and Family," Deceit reminds Remus as the three of them settle in at the kitchen table, Christmas cookies heaped in front of them.

"Why?" Remus pouts, starting to snicker at a misshapen gingerbread man in front of him. "I'm not Roman."

"No, you're not," Deceit concedes. "But Patton doesn't like all the gore you try to imbue every decorating attempt with."

"Fair," Remus says agreeably enough. "But what about the di-"

"That's just you trying to rile up your brother," Deceit interrupts, amused. "You may decorate one cookie any way you like, at the end."

"Deal!" Remus shouts.

"I've got everything you could ever want to decorate cookies," Patton says, beaming. "All different colors of icing, different kinds of sprinkles-"

"These are balls," Remus remarks, picking up the bottle of sprinkles and shaking them.

"Yes, yes, they are," Patton says, pretending he doesn't understand what Remus means. The sweet tang of an unspoken lie lingers on Deceit's tongue until Patton catches his eye and makes an apologetic face at him.

"You know, Remus," Deceit says casually, as he begins to outline a gingerbread man in yellow icing. "If you like, we can decorate our own cookies later, just the two of us. No holds barred."

"Nah," Remus says, after a moment of thought. "It's more fun this way." He gestures at Patton with his gingerbread man, already missing a limb. Conveniently, Remus's breath smells like gingerbread.

"I agree," Patton says, giving his gingerbread man big blue eyes and a happy smile in red. It droops a little at the end, making his gingerbread man look like he's been through some sort of terrible accident, but Deceit thinks it looks great, anyway.

Besides, if anyone wants to argue, he'll put them on cookie decorating duty. Not as easy as it looks, when you're the one doing it, after all.

"I'm making me and Roman," Remus announces, scribbling one gingerbread man in green. The one with a missing leg is already scribbled over with red icing. "He has no leg because I ate it. Hey, do you think he tastes like gingerbread?"

"No," Deceit says. "And you are not practicing cannibalism in this household."

"You are no fun," Remus says, his mouth trembling like he wants to laugh. Deceit smirks at him, finished with his careful outline and judicious application of yellow color to the interior of the gingerbread man.

"I know," Deceit murmurs. "And I'm not sorry. At all."

"I love this," Patton says. He's started outlining the rest of his gingerbread man in a lighter blue, and Deceit has a feeling he knows who Patton's current project is supposed to represent. "You're all doing such a great job!"

"Do you think Roman needs his other leg?" Remus asks, contemplative, as he stares down at the gingerbread.

"Yes-" Deceit starts to say, but it's too late. Remus has already bitten off the other leg.

"Compliments to the chef," he says, crumbs spraying. Deceit facepalms, narrowly missing covering his face with icing.

"I guess Roman has to share the legs now," Patton says. Remus grins shamelessly.

"If I let him," he says, then cackles.

"That's enough out of you," Deceit informs him. "No more eating your Roman gingerbread man! We haven't even gotten to the sugar cookies yet."

"Fine," Remus says, sticking his tongue out at Deceit. Deceit returns the favor, and Remus gasps dramatically. "Is that...a blep I spy?!" He cries, throwing one icing-spattered hand over his heart.

"I don't even go here," Deceit mumbles, sliding down in his chair and pulling his hat over his eyes, to the tune of his boyfriends' laughter.

Under the brim of his hat, he can't stop smiling.

tag list: @k9cat @i-wanna-be-m-e @paravigilant-virgil @croftersgamer @airiervessel @did-he-just-hiss-at-me @matthindavick @bexxbeauty @yalltookmyurlideas

[notsosmallbean]

Hey, guess what? I learned that on the computer I can add in “Keep reading” things! Okay, so, read on for my opinion on the Tangled The Series episode...

Forest of No Return

Yesss! Eugene’s being competent!!!

I’m going to vomit - seriously Shorty, what the heck?

HOW IS THERE A GIANT SQUID IN THE SWAMP

Even if Adira’s sword is made of a Badass Unbreakable Rock, how did she manage to cut the tree vertically?

Is she literally just following them?

Lowkey don’t know whether I side with Eugene and Cass or stan Adira

Oh so the forest is either mechanical or magical-

I SCREAMED OH MY GOD THAT BUG

The way the forest moves reminds me of Hogwarts’ staircases. Is that just me?

Aaaa I'm so excited that Eugine isn’t getting done dirty and being treated like an idiot!

“put your hand down lance”

How do they know that they went in a circle and not just that that sign moved deeper into the forest via MAAAAGIC~?

Oh no... the lesson of this episode is gonna be some sort of “you have to take help from others sometimes” thing... not that I don’t agree with that! It’s just like,,, I love Adira and all, but I love Eugene so much more and I can tell this episode is going to say he’s the asshole here

Also like,,, is it just me or is it kinda rude that Adira is gonna follow these people around and not even bother to learn their names?

Oh my god I thought that was quicksand and I was so scared for the horses-

I’m either going to love or hate Adira by the end of this episode

More harry potter parallels with the “relax to escape” plants!

OH HEY RAPUNZEL HAS HER SEASON 2 DRESS BACK AGAIN

UUUUGH! I. Hate. Mary. Sues.

But haha, that has nothing to do with this episode, right?

YO SHIT CANNIBAL MUSHROOMS

Haa yess, horse subplot~ Aw it didn’t last long...

Really Disney? a fart joke?

Hey yeah, this zip line idea is actually good though?

“Nope I know best”

I will gladly admit that Eugene was wrong, but hey, I’m still on his side here.

Oh hey, so that wasn’t a jab at his complexion!

(Just read through my other notes on this episode and remember when I said: “I'm so excited that Eugine isn’t getting done dirty and being treated like an idiot!”? yeah no, past me.)

Ah shit, spider bats.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that they aren’t flowers. they’re colourful, but not shaped like them AT ALL.

I SCREAMED AGAIN

Yo, these things look scary ...but kinda sick

HORSES!!!

Hey but, Adira is actually pretty attractive.

HELL YEAH BLOCK THEM OUT EUGENE YES

I don’t know what bronchitis is...

Final thoughts! Adira needs more personality traits than being sarcastic and good at everything. It awakens a jealousy in me that I buried a long time ago...

[popatochisssp]

Match up!

Likes: Fanfiction, Video games (especially fond of puzzle or story driven first person games like Portal or Fallout 4), Coloring/messing around on photoshop, Vines, critiquing the hell out of movies, my furball chihuahua, my mom and little bro, chai tea lattes, frozen blueberry waffles, tumblr, memes, cartoons (like Steven Universe, Gravity Falls, Miraculous Ladybug), tv shows (generally Sci-Fi, Supernatural/Paranormal, or competition based like anything with Gordon Ramsay or Doctor Who), Jigsaw Puzzles, Riddles, being lazy

Fav Season: Winter, Fav Disney Char: Stitch, Fav Candy: Hershey Almonds, Fav Color: Purple or Black

Dislikes: Bugs, Heat, Physical Labor, The Minions, Republicans, Too much Sun/Light (I’m a bit sensitive), Smoking cigarettes, weed is fine), Anti-vaxxers and other illogical people, Math

What are you looking for in a match?

I’m not sure exactly what I want as I’ve never been in a relationship really. I guess someone who is ok with me info dumping, being clingy/invasive, being a bitch a times - being ok with my flaws basically. I want someone who is Honest and and Communicates, someone who makes it clear what their intentions are, why they like me, and if their gonna stay. I would like someone who takes care of me but what I probably need is someone who knows when to kick my ass and make me do things. Someone who motivates or reminds me to take care of myself, that while they are ok helping me they wont let me push them around. I want someone who will will help me and be sweet but also will call me out on my bullshit.

Any dealbreakers?

If they don’t like my family (mom, my dog, bro) then it’s instant nope. They dont have to love them cuz yeah the fam has flaws but it’s one of those “only I can criticize them no one else” scenarios. If they hurt my dog in anyway their dead. If they smoke cigarettes their out or gotta swear to quite. I have asthma so it’s not negotiable and if their brother smokes that has to be out of my sight too or I will throw hands.

They have to understand that everyone has a backstory/issues and that doesn’t make them a bad person. Like my mom has done some shady shit due to paranoia and PTSD and will also do crazy things (like if me and SO get in fight my mom will show up even if it’s the dead of night to come throw hands or she will find blackmail so I can have an upper hand(she bugged a house of a guy she thought was cheating on her once)) like I dont agree with her often but unless the relationship is serious and been going on a while then I will take my moms side.

If they do milk than cereal that a no, I dont trust that.

Anything else I should know? 

I have Depression and anxiety so while they aren’t major issues anymore they should still be kept in mind. I have issues spending money in that I dont like spending money at all and will ignore needed things if it seems to pricey (aka over 20 bucks) so I need skelebae to buy things and either lie or tell me how much we saved or still have rather than how much things cost or else I get really guilty/anxious. I also have issues remembering to take care of myself like eating regularly, drinking water, leaving my house and going outside for once, and sleeping at normal times.

I dont care about cannibalism or murder as long as it is justified in a way. I have a realistic to cynical view and have questionable morals (I like to think of my soul trait as a slightly corrupted justice).

I am similar to a cat in that I will be bristly and standoffish at first but once I warm up to you you will be suffocated with affection and possessiveness. I can act selfishly without realizing it so it may not seem like it but my partners happiness is my number one priority. Im loyal to a fault and Also I have little shame and Privacy. I will often forget people dont have the same boundaries as me (aka near none) so I probably come off as very nosey and invasive. I like most form of humor but dont really laugh often mainly I make a pffffttt sound. Sometimes when I’m really happy I act silly or goofy so like I may seem kinda witty and serious but at my core I’m a goof.

I would match you with Mal (Swapfell Sans)!

He’s pretty much everything you’re looking for in a match: a clear communicator who’ll take care of you without letting you walk all over him. He doesn’t mind that you get excited about certain topics and may want to talk his nonexistent ear off and it’s probably for the best that you’re not hard on boundaries-- neither is he.

He’s from a very dangerous, deadly universe and he completely understands that morality isn’t such a clear-cut, black-and-white thing. He actually respects your family quite a bit for being willing to blur a line here or there to make sure you’re safe and looked after and he’ll do his best to prove they have no cause for concern: you’re in very safe claws with him!

Mal is the type to spoil his partner, so if what you need to allow that is for him to never let you see a price tag, then so be it. He has a good head for numbers and a strong work ethic to go with his well-paying jobs, so finances should never be much of an issue, he’ll see to that!

He also doesn’t mind too much if you’re slow to warm up-- he’s the same way and considers that a reasonable measure of caution-- but once you’re both warmed up to each other, the rest of your relationship will probably be an affectionately possessive cling-fest and neither of you will have a problem with it.

Oh, and expect surprisingly bad, goofy jokes out of him, too! He seems classy and sophisticated (and he is!), but...well, he’s a Sans, and he has a very soft spot in his soul for silly humor.

The two of you will get along great! ;3

[sunnysynthsunshine]

6th Comedy Monologue

“So folks, that whole Brexit rubbish is finally over isn’t it?”

“I know, some of us could see it coming and Teresa May looks like the spitting image

of the stepmother from Cinderella

how come nobody has noticed that yet?

we all have politicians we don’t like don’t we?

at times like this, I have to remind myself Teresa May is a very well liked woman

but then I remember back in the day Margaret Thatcher was also a very well liked woman

don’t you think she and Teresa may are quite similar?

well this is how she’d treat a political problem

*attempts impersonation*

“what’s that? ok men I did you to do this and then this and then this and this”

whereas Teresa may would handle the situation like…

*attempts impersonation*

what’s this? oh leave it for a few months

but the main thing is they both hate poor people so who cares what they think

I actually sort of understand why people like Jeremy Corbyn but I had written that previous gag back in late June of last year, speaking of outdated gags

Pirates were the communists and socialists of the 17th century

they wanted money, disagreed with colonialism and didn’t care what the government thought of them

like with communists they were accepting and inclusive but they wanted gold

the pirates accepted many on their ship they allowed homosexuality, they allowed women in strong roles  there were great times had on the high seas

even with the loot, they got they’d share it evenly what other power was involved with being inclusive with most things except money Oh Yeah! the communists

Yes, Yes we’ll handle it we’ll accept you but give us all your money

communism is a good concept but in the end, people get greedy for the money

like with pirates

we’ll accept you matey but give us some gold

however they didn’t agree about the government, they had their own independent pirate crews and disagreed with colonialism and capitalism

kind of like some of us, I think

we criticize politics, we like to party and we accept most people except colonialists …and capitalists...

Oh well, at least there’s been good music with Marina and the diamonds, Ariana Grande and the 1975

We, humans, love music

which makes me think about bands related to Homosapians

in the 60s we had the Monkees good band good name

and now we have Arctic Monkeys, Gorillaz, Rang a Tang and Apes

what about the lesser known homosapian types

Chimpanzees and Baboons

if music existed in Planet of the Apes

the Kate Bush hit Babooshka would be about a

monkey looking for love after getting his heart broken seeing his wife cheat on him with an older mandrill

only to fall in love again with who he’d call his baboonska

Animals are interesting creatures whether they are made of glass, made of 1960s haircuts or made of the first songs of a math rock band

Another good thing about music and animals is that Roger Taylor is going to help us save the bees

Thinking bee! Thinking queen! thinking bee! Thinking queen!

Speaking of which there’s been a whole glam rock/synthpop revival going on

And I love that

although as a kid I watched media from all sorts of different decades

While they watched Jersey Shore and Love Island I was watching Disney and CBBC sitcoms mixed with Japanese cartoons and shows from years before like Jem and the holograms, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the original my little pony series.

I would also watch funnybones, the original noody series from a VHS I “borrowed” from my neighbours, as well as the Muppet show and some classic cinema.

I think it’s amazing that this revival is happening it’s like the 60s,70s,80s,90s and early 2000s are all going on at the same time.

Revolutionary anarchic protests, Androgynous rockers, Neon colours, post-punk indie shows, peculiar fashion trends and reality shows as well as the cybernetic future beyond

But I’m also cold and angry about how this is happening because on the other hand, there are things carried over from previous decades that shouldn’t still be around...fascists in positions of power, nonces in the entertainment industry, Threat of a nuclear war, low economy, Jamie Oliver, Piers Morgan, Death, Pollution,Misogyny,Misandry,Sexism,Racism and White Supremacy

I could list more, but I can’t think at the moment I’m focusing on my work while morons on Twitter and Tumblr are yabbering on about vegan sausage rolls.

I’ve never tried Greggs before but I’m sure the vegans and vegetarians are happy that a mainstream chain like Greggs has made a product catered specifically for them, whereas before if you asked for a “vegan option” at a restaurant the waiter would scratch their neck.

However not all restaurants are like this,having to work overtime dealing with angry parents,screaming children and the odd nazi at Mcdonalds is not an easy task,yet so many waiters and workers across the world are able to somehow keep those businesses afloat,you guys, girls and comrades don’t get enough credit,you should be paid more,no wonder so many mainstream restaurants are having strikes or running out of food and people are either going to more independently funded places or ordering online to get their daily dose of fast fried convenience.

and while I would be interested in trying a vegetarian diet,It would be hard for me to give up eating chicken that quickly but I don’t really eat meat that often,and before you say anything as long as cannibals don’t use their choice of food in a dangerous way they’re ok with me, it’s no different to when our prehistoric ancestors had to hunt to find food in order to survive,some people still have to do that,it’s sad...it really is,while Christianity isn’t something I believe in anymore, it did say in the bible that Jesus shared his bread and food with his people,and I think some of us should start doing that,and if you already do whether it’s a snack you have or leaving out leftover food from your side takeaway business, that’s brilliant your making more people happy and your allowing more people to enjoy food and to have access to that basic human necessity that we all should be able to have to access to.

Sharing is another primary school lesson it feels like half of humanity has forgotten about outside of basic decency and kindness, but I’m probably not the one to talk about that since I was called “Rude” for most of my life.

there’s a big difference between telling someone they’re a plonker and making someone more aware of how they can improve themselves as a person.

Most of us all have flaws, most of us have had toxic moments,

we’ve all at times had moments where we’ve said something wrong that we didn’t mean,

or times where our cowardliness has accidentally caused misunderstandings and drama

or times where we didn’t intend to sound hurtful but that’s how it came across, or times where we’ve blindly followed toxic people, imitating their actions without meaning to or just generally times where we’ve been ignorant little eijjits.

Even people some would say were flawless had flaws or problematic aspects about them

David Bowie wasn’t too nice to his wife Angie in later years, Graham Lineman and Robert Webb are transphobic, Rowan Atkinson supports Boris Johnson’s “so-called” jokes and Ricky Gervais doesn’t like hearing people with different opinions than him.

Overthinking however can exaggerate this, overthinking can take that one time you were a bit rude as a child and that problematic “fandom” phase you had as a preteen and make you feel like your worst person in the world.

Your not, but most of us have had moments,there’s also the “not like other girls/boys phase” sometimes it’s just a light-hearted comparison drawing or blog post taken out of context other times it’s the grown-up equivalent of saying “I like this thing over your other thing that means I’m better than you”

Considering my at times cold thoughts it’s weird that I’m the person of all people telling you this

It’s perfectly ok to be prideful and narcissistic just don’t be so arrogant that you forget about your morals and the people that you're close to, but if at times because of mental health you question your levels of empathy, sympathy and compassion that’s ok too, your voices deserve to be heard, and there is help available you can find it through helplines, organizations or even your own comrades.

Outside of all the twits in this horrid fishbowl of a world, there are also millions of very kind nice people, I don’t know where I’d be now without my comrades

The offline pals who are like my sunshine because they brighten up my day,the old secondary school friends that made me feel less alone,the online people who I can vent to, converse with and joke with,the bloggers from years ago that I still sometimes keep in touch with and the creators who through their work in Media, Theatre and the Arts were able to encourage me to keep going, keep working, keep creating.

I think your all lovely and beautiful and creative human beings, no matter what identity you are, what music genre you listen to or what topping you prefer on your pizza

I will most likely adore you and if I haven’t it’s probably because I haven’t met you yet

You are one biscuit of cells, on this fishbowl planet, your mind is a land of wonder and your body is the garden surrounding it, take care of yourself like how you take care of your garden, your pets or the fictional characters you write about.

Your future might not be the future you expect, but it’s one you’ll enjoy.

if you are doing something you love which harms nobody, be as happy and passionate about it as you like

you are a person who deserves the world

Don’t push yourself too hard, if you know you’re doing a good job keep at it, don’t stress yourself too hard, but remember not to procrastinate, your mental health is important, some people might not understand all of the issues you’re going through, but you can make it out alive.

You're, not a number or statistic you're a person, your a beautiful, Kind, incredible, wise person

spread some love and don’t forget what the late Freddie Mercury said,

Keep yourself Alive!

[sapphireofthesea]

the rules: answer the questions given to you by the tagged, write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 people.

Tagged by @goblinflasked (technically. you tagged anyone reading it)

questions:

1. Whats the best ship youve ever rped? Dont think too hard about it. Just spit it out.  A: Spiderdance. It’s the ship name my brother and I gave to Edward x Brian, both from The Adventure Zone. We roleplay it a lot and I have never written a ship that happens so naturally before that one.

2. What is something you have in common with your muse?   A: We both have freckles! 

3. Whats something your muse has done you disagree with or think was stupid.   A: This one is hard. I guess I usually wouldn’t be so forthright with people I just met (telling Caleb he was stinky, etc.). And I hate to say it but I wouldn’t have tried so hard to save Kiri before we knew she wasn’t just a bird. 

4. Tell me about your favorite oc.   A: OKAY I’LL TRY TO KEEP THIS BRIEF. I could write paragraphs about Jade. But BASICALLY, Jade is one of the many characters I played from an expansive original universe I created years ago with two other online friends. Due to a divine mishap, she was born into the wrong family, and even after she discovered the family she was supposed to be born in she didn’t feel at home in either of them and got really angsty about it because there was a lot of drama. She was taken in by an evil goddess who brainwashed her into becoming her high priestess and helping her wage war on the other gods in order to destroy the divine hierarchy. Jade also dated the literal Devil during this time, who also abused her. She had a son with him, who she named Lucifer out of spite for him, and raised him in secret, hoping that he would one day kill his father and claim the throne of Hell. The goddess that had been manipulating her found some of her relatives that were more powerful than her, so she started relying on them instead and downgraded Jade to essentially a sex slave. Eventually the goddess was defeated and Jade was freed, but she was severely fucked up from the experience, and was still convinced that she was in love with the goddess. She became a recluse because she didn’t trust her families and they didn’t really trust her, and she never got a good redemption arc before my friendship with the other writers naturally dissolved, so it’s been my goal all these years to keep writing her so that she might finally get to live happily.

5. Okay same question but describe them really badly.   A: Edgy goth finds out she’s adopted, gets into witchcraft, names her child Lucifer, and hides in the attic for the rest of her life. 

6. What is the top concept/plot/idea on your rp wishlist?   A: Bold of you to assume I have any idea what to do with Jester. 

7. What is a character from a musical that your character relates to and/or belts out THEIR SONG at the top of their lungs in the car?    A: God, I have like three musical songs on her playlist, but it would probably be Disney’s Rapunzel. 

8. Do you have any pets?   A: Yes! We have one cat in the house. His name is Amadeus (y’know, like Mozart) and he is far too smart for his own good. 

9. Do you like black liquorice?   A: Not really :/ 

10. If Tas showed up at your house for dinner (thats me. Im tas. Hi) what would you cook me?   A: Hi Tas! Umm I can’t really cook anything, but I could heat something up if we have leftovers! I don’t really know what you like? So I would probably stick to something simple, like spaghetti or paninis. 

11. Conversely, if you were a cannibal and i showed up at your house for dinner, HOW would you cook me?   A: Well, again, I can’t cook very well, so I’d be a really bad cannibal. The better question would be how would I kill you, since I imagine various methods might have an effect on the meat. I would probably end up making you really tender and putting you in a stew, though? I really like stew. I’d make a little sheperd’s pie. 

new questions: 

1. If all of your rp muses were forced to fight each other, who would end up winning?  2. Summarize the plot of one of your favorite rps you’ve had with someone.  3. What’s your favorite AU to write in?  4. If you had to live as your muse for a week, would you survive?  5. What’s your favorite thing about the universe your muse is from?  6. Do you have a playlist for your muse? If not, is there any one song that reminds you of them?  7. If you were to give your muse a gift, what would it be?  8. Where do you usually write from (phone, tablet, home computer, etc)?  9. Do you and your muse dress alike?  10. What are some of your favorite scents? If you can’t smell, favorite textures?  11. Say I’m not familiar with the universe your character is from at all. Pitch it to me! Tell me why I should get into it. 

Tagging: @tex-blades , @glitterconjuration , @everfought , @phoenixfiire , @firefcrged , @calledworse , @thexlittlestxbard, @runeskald, @aphased , @madamx-lxgiana, @kaauloth-the-cursed , anyone who wants to! 

[levyaustinwolf]

Possibly In Michigan Review

Originally, “High School Musical” was going to be the topic of this paper. Alas, another short film has been discovered and needs to be discussed in more important than the Disney channel. What is the first thing you think of when you hear, cannibal? Hannibal Lector possibly, Jeffrey Dahmer? In the ‘80s a filmmaker had other plans for this type of crime. A film can represent anything and that’s why film criticism is so important, I recommend the reader stop reading this right now, and watch the short film “Possibly in Michigan”. Watching any random genre of a movie can change anyone’s mood. “Encino Man” is gonna get a different reaction than “Silence of the Lambs”. “Possibly in Michigan” on the other hand- It’s a free horror/musical short film made by a fantastic director of Cecilia Condit. What are the limitations of imagination? Examining good movies are reflections of what is society and how we operate as a species. Pauly Shore is not that mirror we need, we should not celebrate a film shooting low and hitting that mark, unlike this short horror, I think is riveting, you feel almost tougher after making your way through something like “Possibly in Michigan”.

(After watching the film) Calm down, change your pants or breathe in a paper bag, it’s a bit much to process so let’s break it down scene by scene. “Possibly in Michigan” opens in a mall. The musical part of the film instantly takes effect as we hear the lyrics of “I bite at the hand that feeds me, I slap at the face that eats me, some kind of animal cannibal, animal cannibal? These lyrics not only establish the next 11 minutes and 45 seconds of your life but let us know what type of experience you will be having emotionally. Of course, the cannibal portion returns grimly, as Sharon goes down an escalator we start learning what kinds of men she attracts. “Sharon attracted violent men”. Sharon joins her friend Janice and begins to talk about perfume, being cut from the same mold, they both attract violent men, thinking the violence was their idea, (the man’s).

Arthur, the pre-disposed cannibal of the picture has been following them, having in common with Janice and Sharon, violence and perfume. I guess cannibalism requires at least a little violence. After hearing the first second of dialogue you can almost feel your heart begin to quiver, the ladies talking about perfume how female T1000’s talk to each other, it reminds me if A.I.s became android mall-goers pretending to be human. The topic of conversation? Perfume and poodles. Her aunt reminded her of the perfume she was buying. This aunt put her pet poodle in the microwave to dry it off. Yeah, this definitely is a messed-up musical. 

Janice and Sharon depart from the mall via a quick cutscene dancing with more masked men. A montage of driving, a jumping poodle, a woman removing a gun from a dresser drawer, and still with the lyrics of “I bite at the hand that feeds me, I slap at the face that eats me, some kind of animal cannibal, animal cannibal”. It should be important to mention the origin of the title. “Possibly in Michigan”, was titled after the girls trying to figure out where they would have seen Arthur in the past. Where did I see him? Possibly in Michigan. Sharon drops off Janice as Arthur, “longs for that sexual scent that smelled like home”. Arthur rings the doorbell of Janice’s house cutting in between frog masks, donkey masks, and eventually settles on a man in a tuxedo, when Janice sees the cannibal at the door she empties a revolver in an attempt to defend herself. 

`May I remind the reader that the whole story is a musical, Janice is being attacked and is still singing while calling Sharon on the phone as Arther confronts Janice. Arthur gives Janice two choices, eat her, or turn her quadriplegic, when asked why he responded, ‘For love’. But love shouldn’t cost an arm and a leg Janice replies, enjoys the smell of her, revealing that Janice is the 7th victim Arthur had come into contact with. Sharon catches up with Janice and the director describes it the best herself. “A musical horror story about two young women who are stalked through a shopping mall by a cannibal named Arthur. He follows them home, and here the victims become the aggressors. It is a story of friendship, courage, frailty, and fears that will not go away.”

The end of the film occurs when yes, Sharon and Janice eat Arthur, wrap his bones in newspaper printings and leave him on the curb to be taken by the garbage truck man, to pick up and never be seen again. If you were to ask me how I’d rate this short film, I’d argue three out of four stars. This movie on no basis is similar to my other favorite movie, The Goonies, but it has a quality of creepiness but still good cinematic craftsmanship to be admired to even this day.

Films are my life, they are a way to make sense of this world, and films showing off what we as humans have achieved is a beautiful thing. When a bad film comes bouncing off our scenes, we get disappointed, or sometimes even excited because films like “Troll 2”, “The Room” and “Birdemic and arguably “Sharknado” have prooven the bad movie it’s so bad it’s good. Not in those ways though, I’d argue we could do so much more as a human race to make something to stimulate your emotions, tell a compelling story, and be inventive in its own way making it stand out for years to come. What makes a good film? There is no good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

[musicgoonmail]

Wedding Cake

In This Edition

In this week’s edition, I share my most recent interviews, reflect on Instagram turning 10, and write on what I’ve been enjoying in entertainment. As always, I share what’s new with my book reviews and point you to the all of the new free eBooks around the web.

Even though the Southern California heat does not cool down, it is starting to feel like the Fall season in my mind. I think it shows in these longer newsletters that I love to write. Don’t forget that you can always let me know what you think simply by replying to this email. Thanks for spending your weekend with me here.

Interview: "Stop Taking Sides" with Adam Mabry

Instagram Turns 10

Godly Wisdom

Book Reviews

Free eBooks for October

More Free eBooks for October

Extended Play

Lightning Links

Playlists

Coming Soon

Weekly Review

Interview: "Stop Taking Sides" with Adam Mabry

Earlier this week I went LIVE on Instagram to interview author and Pastor Adam Mabry about his book "Stop Taking Sides." It was an encouraging conversation and I'm thankful for the opportunity. We talked about his book, his writing process, and publishing with The Good Book Company. He also gave some tips to writers. You can watch our interview on IGTV or listen on Spotify and Podcasts.

I have been interviewing my pastors and members at my church with my Walnut Commentary, Walnut Notes, and Unikoi Questions podcasts. It is a joy to serve our congregation in this way. Starting at SOLA Network and growing Dive In Dig Deep has allowed me to interview a wider group of people. On my website, I made a working list of the interviews I've conducted. I hope to get to do a few more before the end of the year.

Instagram Turns 10

Instagram turned 10 this week. As hidden features, they brought back the classic icons and added a private map and archive of your stories from the past three years. To access the icons, click on your profile icon on the bottom right corner, click the hamburger menu on the top right corner, click on the settings menu, and do a long swipe up. For the private map, click on your profile icon on the bottom right corner, click the hamburger menu on the top right corner, click on the settings menu, and click on the archive.

Instagram is, probably, the app that I spend the most time on. While it's afforded me a lot of fun, I know we can't deny that it is still dangerous. In a recent newsletter, tech writer Casey Newton spoke with Bloomberg’s Sarah Frier. He asked: "Of all the changes made to Instagram since then, which do you think has had the biggest consequences?" She answered: "The crucial change was the addition of stories. We usually think about it in terms of its significance from a competitive standpoint — like Instagram vs. Snapchat. I think it's actually more significant from the standpoint of Instagram recognizing that the immense pressure that people have to perform on Instagram, and portray their lives a certain way, is actually bad for growth. The anxiety that goes into deciding whether something is Instagrammable actually made people post less. Since they introduced stories, they’ve taken away some of that pressure. That’s what really brought them down their path to a billion users, and the ensuing conflicts with Facebook over whether they would cannibalize Facebook's success."

Even though Frier states that stories has taken away some pressure, I think there is still a performative aspect to sharing stories. We're crafting our image, creating our persona, and it doesn't always align with reality. And the dangers are more than what we create. It also includes what we consume. We can get jealous, greedy, assume the worst, and judge others. There's also the dangers of pornography and lust, emotional attachment and sliding into DMs for inappropriate relationships.

I have two points to make after sharing on this. First, I hope to reawaken us to the reality of the platforms that we use. To think of them in a sober way and to stay safe. Second, I want to remind us that our true selves aren't always reflected in what we share. I hope to show a better glimpse of my heart here in this newsletter, and I'll do my best to keep it real.

Godly Wisdom

I made another short sermon excerpt video for my home church, FCBC Walnut. I trimmed a clip from our youth pastor Kevin, grabbed a photo, added some effects, and made some music. Can you guess what song I played? Here is the main point: “Godly wisdom should move you to work towards future goals, hopes, and dreams while surrendering everything to the good and perfect will of God.” You can watch the excerpt on YouTube and IGTV.

October is Pastor Appreciation Month, and I took the opportunity to record a 2-minute video to thank our pastors. You can watch it on YouTube and IGTV. And in the most recent episode of our Walnut Women podcast, my friend Leslie asked Regina, Meryl, and Vanessa - who are pastor’s wives: “How can the church love and encourage the pastors and their families?” You can watch the 9-minute clip on YouTube and IGTV, and catch the entire 40-minute interview on YouTube.

Book Reviews

This week I published a total of 6 reviews. There was a good variety, including a book of articles compiled from Christianity Today through the years on American Evangelism and political engagement, some classic Christian books, a festschrift to Don Whitney (author of Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life), and Crossway's Unfolding Grace (with the accompanying Study Guide).

Unfolding Grace

Study Guide Review: Unfolding Grace

Grace and Glory by Geerhardus Vos

The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs

The Spirit of Holiness

Dual Citizens

Free eBooks for October

Monergism added two new eBooks this week: Assurance to All the Heirs of Promise: Sermons on Hebrews 6:18 by Thomas Manton and The Balm of the Covenant Applied to the Bleeding Wounds of Afflicted Saints by John Flavel. 

Ligonier is offering for free the Luther and the Reformation video teaching series with R.C. Sproul and the ebook edition of The Legacy of Luther edited by R.C. Sproul and Stephen Nichols. And to further celebrate Reformation month, you can also stream the Luther Documentary for free.

Monergism: Assurance to All the Heirs of Promise: Sermons on Hebrews 6:18 by Thomas Manton

Monergism: The Balm of the Covenant Applied to the Bleeding Wounds of Afflicted Saints by John Flavel

Ligonier: The Legacy of Luther edited by R.C. Sproul and Stephen Nichols

More Free eBooks for October

This week, DesiringGod featured This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence. It is available to download for free as a PDF on their website. I consider it one of my top reads on marriage and I highly recommend it. The free eBook for the month of October from The Good Book Company is Time for Every Thing? by Matt Fuller. In this book, Matt Fuller shows how following Jesus frees us from the tyranny of the to-do list. 

The October issue of Ligonier’s Tabletalk Magazine is on Covenant Theology, and this issue seeks to help readers better understand covenant theology by exploring its basics and the many ways it applies to the Christian life. The October issue of the 9Marks Journal is about Learning from Scripture and History on Pastoring in Political Turmoil. The October issue of Credo Magazine looks at the Nicene Creed and the doctrine of the Trinity. The Fall edition of The Master’s Seminary Journal opens with an editorial on how their new direction will be focused less on popular-level articles and more on academic papers. Check out the list below for more free recent reads.

The Good Book Company: Time for Every Thing? by Matt Fuller

Tabletalk Magazine: Covenant Theology

The Master’s Seminary Journal: Fall 2020

9Marks Journal: Learning from Scripture and History on Pastoring in Political Turmoil

Credo Magazine: The Nicene Creed

DesiringGod: This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence

The Gospel Coalition: 250 Theological Essays

Crossway and 9 Marks: How Can I Love Church Members with Different Politics?

Crossway and 9Marks: Prayer: How Praying Together Shapes the Church by John Onwuchekwa

The Gospel Coalition: 9 Free eBooks by D. A. Carson

Extended Play

Jess and I are having fun watching "Halloween" movies that aren't really Halloween movies. We watched A Bug's Life (because bugs are creepy) Monsters Inc (because monsters), Monsters University (because monsters again), and Beauty and the Beast (because of Beast). 1991's Beauty and the Beast is a classic, and rightfully so - the animation is beautiful and the songs are made for Broadway. It holds a special place in Disney history, and you can read about it on Wikipedia and watch the documentary Waking Sleeping Beauty on Disney+ for your own insight and entertainment.

The podcast that impacted me the most this week was the Ask Pastor John episode: Why Do I Need to Read the Bible When We Have Bible Teachers Online? Today more than ever, Christians have access to a wealth of faithful Bible teaching online. So, why do we need to read the Bible for ourselves? Here is my takeaway quote: "Perhaps at the bottom of the problem is that our friend has so completely intellectualized his faith that the only category in which he thinks, the only category that’s going to profit him, he thinks, is the category of verbal explanation. There are a lot of people who think about sermons that way. They just think, “I need to know; I need some more information, some more explanation,” rather than also the heartfelt exultation that a lover has in reading the very words of his beloved."

Throwback: Trials are Tests

Article: Bach: A Theologian at the Workplace by Jonathan Camire

Podcast: Why Do I Need to Read the Bible When We Have Bible Teachers Online? by John Piper

Movie: Beauty and the Beast (1991)

TV: Community

Book: The Gathering Storm by Albert Mohler (Thanks, Endora!)

Music: Wedding Cake by Damien Jurado

Lightning Links

These quick hits are exclusive to my newsletter readers. Some struck immediately before writing this newsletter. I don’t necessarily endorse the positions or lives of these authors. Some may contain sensitive language. I find them all extremely interesting.

Instagram Turns 10: How the App Helped Democratize Art

‘High School Musical: The Musical: The Series’ sets surprise holiday special

The Problem with the Inconsequential Quest

Asian Americans most likely to live in multigenerational homes. How Covid has taken a toll

Kelly Marie Tran on Why Quitting Social Media Was Her Best Decision Ever

Jiayang Fan’s Grub Street Diet: Jiayang Fan Misses Chinatown’s Muscadines “They’re like a summer-camp boyfriend. By August you think, I’m gonna have to part with you soon …”

Playlists

MUSICGOON: 7 songs I enjoyed this week.

SVRGNLA: Jess and I love these songs.

ETJ: Music that inspires my band.

DIDD: A crowd-sourced worship playlist.

TGIF: SOLA Network friends and faves.

This is FCBC Walnut: The songs we sing at church.

Coming Soon

I’m finalizing some lyrics to a new original worship song I want to sing at church soon, and I’m trying to squeeze some remote recording worship covers in with some friends before the end of the year. 

I have some BIbles and children’s books arriving soon for reviews, and several Christmas books are also starting to be sent out. But before Jess and I start getting ready for Christmas, we’re excited to get Linus and Ark dressed up in their Halloween costumes.

Weekly Review

SOLA: Justin Giboney’s Both/AND Politics / When God Chooses Not to Give You Children / Why Do I Need to Read the Bible When We Have Bible Teachers Online?

TGIF: This I Believe (The Creed) / Stream the Luther Documentary for Free / Why Do I Need to Read the Bible When We Have Bible Teachers Online?

Book Review: Unfolding Grace

Book Review: Grace and Glory by Geerhardus Vos

Study Guide Review: Unfolding Grace

Book Review: The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs

Book Review: The Spirit of Holiness

Book Review: Dual Citizens

Recommended Reading: Forgiveness Is Spiritual Warfare / The Church Is You, So the Church Will Be Like You / Folding Singles into Family in the Life of the Church / Sisters, You Have Permission to Lead an Ordinary Life

[combeauferre]

let me be your safety

so I came up with this while I was on a 9 hour bus journey listening to Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran, then wrote it in the cutest little coffee shop in a little town in Cornwall. It was time I just let my children have some fluff, so here it is. Short and sweet, no angst in sight. 

also on ao3

The journey back to the apartment – their apartment, Jake reminds himself – is silent. They communicate in unspoken gestures: a hand on his, fingers through her hair, a head on his chest and the thud of a heartbeat. Jake can’t count the times he’s wished he could hear Amy’s heartbeat in the last eight weeks. His hand tightens in her hair and she shifts on his chest. A hand runs down his arm and he’s sighs. It’s not contentment, though he’s the most content he’s ever been. It’s homecoming.

Their first night together is not desperate or heated. It’s hurting and healing, and relaxing in each other’s presence. It’s curling up on the sofa and putting on a Disney movie – Jake refuses Lion King stiffly, and Amy doesn’t press. They settle on Beauty and the Beast in the end; the original, of course.

 Jake makes himself small as he curls up into Amy’s side, a familiar position reversed, and Amy traces comforting lines into Jake’s side. It’s not long before his breathing evens out, and he’s completely out and snuffling softly by the time Belle and the Beast meet for their final dance. She leaves the movie playing and places a feather-light kiss on his forehead, allowing herself to drift off as the movie comes to a close.

 Their first night together is not sexual, or fiery or intense. It’s counting blessings, it’s taking nothing for granted. Amy wakes up three hours later with a stiff neck and a Jake on her knee. She reaches out and threads a hand through his hair just to check it’s really him, but when she feels the warmth radiating off of him she keeps his hand there, anchoring herself to him. She will keep him there, real and permanent, for as long as possible. She doesn’t doubt that she’s still dreaming.

 Jake stirs as he feels a hand in his hair. He suddenly jolts awake, sat up and poised to throw a punch. His face softens when he sees Amy in the partially lit room.

 “Ames?” he takes a couple of deep breaths and Amy softens.

 “Jake, sorry I didn’t mean to startle you,” Amy backs off a little, giving him space, but he rests a hand on her arm to stop her.

 “No, it’s okay, I just…” he pauses, taking a breath to steady himself. “When you’ve been sharing a cell with a cannibal for eight weeks, waking up with a hand in your hair is a pretty terrifying occurrence.”

 Amy reaches out cautiously, threading her fingers through his.

 “I needed to know I wasn’t dreaming.”

 Jake presses a kiss to her temple and smiles softly.

 “You’re not dreaming,” he whispers, almost inaudibly, and Amy wonders for a second who he is reassuring. She allows herself to melt into him, moulding herself into his side and settling there. It’s a strange position, leaning against each other like pillars, but the more Amy thinks about it the more she feels like it suits them. Here they are, a mutual support system, slowly and softly healing, reconnecting.

 The first night is not a scramble for closeness or physical intimacy. It’s learning to love again, through hand-holding and forehead kisses and whispered affirmations. It’s not messy or rushed or strained. It’s taking all the time they need to heal and rest and regroup, it’s reminding each other what it’s like to be in the other’s presence with no cameras or guards or restrictions. It’s an abundance of familiar touches that represent a different ‘I love you’ that cannot be spoken. It’s the emotional intimacy they’ve both been craving for months. It’s being in each other’s company with no time limit. They do not rush. They comfort each other and they take their time and they enjoy what is there in front of them

 Finally, they have all the time in the world.

[soulspideys]

A Review of Tom Holland’s Complete Filmography

According to imdb

I had a lot of free time, so I decided to watch every movie Tom has acted in, according to his imdb page. I review each film, some with separate spoiler-free reviews.

spoilers under the cut

Arrietty (UK dub)

Not much to say about this one, so both reviews will go together. Tom plays Sho, the sick boy who finds Arrietty and her family. Quite similar to the Disney version, though a little less childish and fun. An enjoyable viewing; I find both English dubs interchangeable.

The Impossible (2012)

Wow. For my spoiler-free review, I just gotta say: watch this movie!! The whole cast is phenomenal, and Tom really does carry the story. He’s a 12-year-old boy on Holiday with his family when a tsunami hits, and we watch his struggle to get his mother medical attention and reunite with his father and little brothers. For such a young character, it is truly remarkable to watch him steal every scene. Definitely recommend!

Spoilers: I cannot stress enough how amazing this cast was. Of course, the movie had its flaws, with three of the main cast being portrayed by children, but it was still remarkable. The way Tom shows Lucas’s character development was remarkably done, and every time Lucas breaks or begins to scream, you’re reminded how young these children are. Ewan McGregor, as always, played his role to the best of his ability, and as he showed a mourning dad desperate for information on his family, you could feel your heart break with him. Naomi Watts, of course, was phenomenal. Just an all around remarkable film, and one that really showcased some of Tom’s strong suits. Quite graphic throughout, but if you have the stomach, I highly recommend taking the time to watch young Tom act his heart out in crisis.

Moments (short film, 2013)

mmkay so this is just a short youtube film, but it’s pretty great. It has Tom doing a voiceover with a montage of a boy and girl in a relationship. Heartbreaking, sharply done, and quick, it’s worth the four minutes of your time.

Locke (2013)

This one’s about a dad on a car ride and how his life kind of falls apart over the course of a few phone calls. Though Tom has a very small part in this film (it’s just his voice for like five minutes, max) he does it well. You understand the relationship between he and his father, and he sounds just a like a teenage kid waiting to watch a match on tv would. The whole film isn’t really necessary if you’re just watching for Tom, but it’s actually really remarkable. Would recommend, just be aware this isn’t a “Tom” movie.

How I Live Now (2013)

ALRIGHT, BUCKOS, STRAP IN! I have my fair share of complaints with this movie, but Tom’s character (Isaac) is NOT ONE OF THEM! Basic plot: an edgy™ American girl comes to stay with her cousins in England, and WWIII breaks out and they get separated and she’s trying to find them. It’s enjoyable, Saoirse Ronan does a great job playing her character, and I’m glad I actually watched it.

Spoilers: She falls in love with her eldest cousin, and that’s a main instigator of the plot. GROSS. But it’s her middle cousin, Isaac, that really made this movie tolerable. Tom plays a 14-year-old kid that really just wanted his cousin to enjoy her stay without letting her walk all over him. He and Daisy exchange banter, and he never lets her negativity get to him. For the first half an hour, he spends all his screen time trying to make light of situations and caring for his family. Then, they kill him off after seeing nothing of him for 40+ minutes. NOT. COOL. Daisy tenderly buries his glasses after finding his dead body, but they don’t really mention him again until the little sister is like “lmao where’s isaac???” He deserved far better. I will probably watch this movie again, but it really goes downhill when you take his positivity and warmth from it.

Tweet (short film, 2015)

Another short youtube film. This one stars Tom’s youngest brother, and is very witty and cute. You get about thirty seconds (max) of Tom onscreen, but he actually directed this! V v adorable, I recommend those two minutes of cuteness.

In the Heart of the Sea (2015)

Ahhh, the origination of the iconic Quackson meme. Won’t lie, I was a bit disappointed by this one. The movie is based off a book that is telling the “true story” that inspired Herman Meville to write Moby Dick. Tom plays the young version of the sole survivor of the ship Essex that was attacked by a white wale and marooned for months. A rowdy period piece full of action and high tensions, it’s a good popcorn movie.

Spoilers: The pacing was really weird. They spend the first hour of the movie sailing around on a nice boat, hunting whales, and bullying the new kid (Tom). The captain is jealous of the first mate so he makes dumb choices. Tom’s character (Thomas Nickerson) thinks the first mate is the coolest guy ever. And suddenly!! WHALES. FIRE. TENSIONS. There’s literally like fifteen minutes of whale smashing, half an hour of floating around and starving and cannibalism, and the last fifteen minutes are split between angsty old Nickerson and everyone making it home fine. The idea was interesting, and the cast did wonderfully, it just felt like the production was a bit rushed. Would still recommend!

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

I’m not really gonna review this, we probably have all seen this. I just wanted to put it here so it’s all his films. Tom’s great. The ideal Peter. A quality beeb. I’m so sorry that I said beeb. WOW I LOVE THIS SPIDEY!

Edge of Winter (2016)

Okay!! I was really excited to see this one, and it was perfectly mediocre. A quick summary: Bradley (Tom) and his little brother are left with their dad for a week or whatever. Their dad finds out that their new step-dad is planning on moving the family and freaks out. Horror movie cliches ensue. An interesting concept with a pretty decent cast, but lacking in certain areas. A mellow horror, much more of a thriller.

Spoilers: Tbh Luc and Richard felt a bit flung in, and there was a lot of unrealistic things. Like... Brad drives a car for like a mile one time and then at the end he’s fine driving miles and miles to get away. Also what happened to their dad?? It’s never discussed at the end. And ik this is about Tom (don’t get me wrong, he was great) but can we discuss the little brother??? Honestly the two brothers pretty much carried the film and they did amazingly! If it had the proper score, I feel it would have boosted the film’s quality tenfold. Altogether, an enjoyable movie to watch when you want something freaky, but not too bad.

The Lost City of Z (2016)

Quite possibly my least favorite movie on this list, but that might just be me. Percy Fawcett is an explorer that becomes obsessed with his search for the lost city he calls “z” in the amazon forest. Despite ridicule from his superiors, he dedicates his life to it. His family feels he has abandoned them, but still support him. It’s literally 2 hours and 20 minutes of this dude looking for native inhabitants of “amazonia.” There are long, sophisticated scenes of dialogue. This is a movie you need to pay close attention to in order to capture completely. 

Spoilers: It’s probably bc I was watching the movie for Tom, but I was disappointed. We get maybe 20 minutes of Tom, the majority of that just squeezed into the end. Tom’s character development felt rushed and flimsy. Robert Pattinson’s character was great, and honestly, why did we not get more development from him??? It was a lot of dialogue with not a lot of movement. Probably like a 5 or 6 out of 10. Just a bit of a mess.. The best part was probably what an early feminist his wife was.

Pilgrimage (2017)

okay so this movie isn’t technically out yet but it’s online illegally (ssssh.....) and I really wanted to see it. I was prepared to dislike it bc people kept talking about how dark it was, but it was actually very enjoyable. Definitely gory and v intense, but all the same, a good story. Possibly the best showcase of Tom’s talent yet (other than hoco obs). Be warned: it can be very hard to watch at times, but stays true to its story.

Spoilers: ok so tbh sometimes it felt like the movie couldn’t decide who it wanted its main character to be. We see Mr. French Richard Armitage Princey a lot, and the herbalist, and the French Priest dude, and definitely a lot of The Novice (Tom), but it wasn’t until the end when it becomes clear that we were watching through the eyes of the Novice. Where Edge of Winter’s big climax failed to feel high-stakes when it was, Pilgrimage does the opposite. During the final scene, I went “oh, yeah, this is the climax!” and it felt v high stakes. Definitely dark and gory and intense, but an intriguing and fascinating film to watch if you have the time.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Wowowowow i love tom and he’s so good and i can’t wait to see more spidey YEET!!!

thank you for reading, let me know if this helped, and i will probably continue to add to this as more of his movies come out :)))

[littlenomo]

Sun, Sex and Sus-fish-ous Flores

We were struck straight away by the beauty of Labuan Bajo, the town we visited on the island of Flores. Still by the sea, but this time a harbour town with pretty twinkling boats scattered in the bay and little green pointed islands sticking out of the sea everywhere you looked. It reminded me of Halong Bay. The main excitement here (and indeed the main reason we chose to visit) was the diving! We had 2 days diving, 5 dives in total. Obviously the main event was swimming with Mantas. It was every bit as magical as I'd imagined and a bucket list item for me ever since I'd heard about them in Fiji three years ago. We dived twice at Manta Point, and the two dives couldn't have been more different! We did our first real current diving here and the first time at Manta Point was under an extremely strong current, like a blizzard under water! This made it very tiring and a bit scary at times as we clung on to the rocks on the bottom while the current tried to drag us away from our Manta watching. The mantas themselves weren't fazed at all, just waving their huge wings gently and somehow staying fixed to the spot with seemingly minimal effort. I wish I could think of another less used word for them, but majestic really is the best way to describe these 4/5m wide creatures. One swimming directly over Alex was a particular highlight and when we sat and watched another for a while I'll admit a little tear came to my eye; I couldn't believe I was there. The second time we had almost no current and it was much more relaxed. Our group also just consisted of Alex and I with our guide so each moment felt like it was only for us. Having said all this, my favourite dives were the ones we did on the underbelly of some of the little islands I mentioned earlier. They were a haven for the sea life and we were surrounded by a real life fishy metropolis consisting of hundreds of fish, slopes of spectacular coral and all sorts of weird and wonderful sea life. There's no way I could mention (or remember!) everything we saw, but here's an attempt: huge (over 100 year old) turtles, fish with leopard spots, zebra stripes, giraffe print, and fork pronged tails; puffer fish, lion fish, chubby fish with black and white stripes on top, fat spots underneath and dip dyed yellow fins; little yellow fish with pink Mohicans, an octopus hiding in its hole, a big pregnant trigger fish attacking our guide, a shark, big schools of silver fish with a red racing stripe, coral camouflage fish, electric blue lanky starfish, furry little crabs, jazzy sea slugs, and a striped sea snake. And then there was the coral. It was every shape, colour and texture you can imagine. Some that looked like brains, some that looked like a heart, some that had feathery fingers (we even saw some black feathers swimming to a new location!), some so colourful it would make you double take, some that was sharp and uninviting, some squidgy and soft like Nemo's home. The whole thing made me feel a bit "Disney", when you looked up at the sloping colours and shapes and the sun shining through at the surface of the water. My inner Ariel felt very much at home in those moments and I thought I could look at it all forever. As you can probably tell, we loved it! The whole thing was like a fashion stylist or interior designers dream; anything you've seen on land has already been done (and probably all the more stylishly) in the underwater world. On our second dive day we also squeezed in a quick visit to Rinca (reen-che) island to see the Komodo Dragons. They were pretty terrifying!! The whole tour they kept telling us how you never know when they'll attack, how fast they were and how they single out the weakest people. Knowing that I was definitely the weakest in our group I was keen to keep my distance as the others edged only around 2m away from them! They are surprisingly big (up to 3.5m), dinosaur-esque cannibals who poison their prey with bacteria living in their mouths and follow them while they die slowly over a matter of weeks... you can see why they're called dragons. It's mad that so many locals live with them on the island, especially considering that one of the dragons (who they've marked in white paint) is notorious for attacking humans and it took three men to pull him off the guy he bit just two weeks previously!! We were so glad we'd seen them though, it was all very fascinating, if a little disconcerting! With all the great diving available, we found that Flores was again busy enough to meet people and we had a few social afternoons / evenings. We met the brilliant Loxley and Jamie from Glastonbury at our great hostel (Dragon Dive Komodo). We bonded immediately with this adventurous couple who were our age, had been together for over ten years and were in the thick of some brilliant travelling and working in Asia and Australia. We had a really nice afternoon with them and a few others at the beach just 15 minutes north of the city. We did some snorkelling (you could actually swim over to the next island as it was so close!) and again saw loads. We then had some tasty local food and beers with everyone, finishing up with a discussion on the legalisation of marijuana! Loxley and Jamie also dove with us on the last day and afterwards we went for dinner at what turned out to be a favourite haunt of ours, "Le Pirate", a rooftop bar with an amazing sunset view and little pool to cool off and sip cocktails in. We splashed out a little for our last two beach side nights with a hotel room that's door opened almost directly on to the sand and had a pool from which you could watch the sunset over the shore. Aside from some a few extreme-heat-induced stressful moments, we absolutely loved Flores and the people (and fish!) we met there. It'll be funny to be back in cities again now. First up Yogyakarta (Y pronounced like a J) and only 8 days to go til home!!

[cripplinganxietyflix]

CAF’s Best of Streaming Recommendations for November 2017!

Netflix decided to not allow me to view my queue from any platform just as I decided to write this up, so any titles I’ve forgotten this time around, I’ll add to the next streaming list I make. Don’t fuck me on this, Netflix. 

“What do you recommend that I can stream?” is a question I get pretty frequently, so I think I’m going to start doing a regular post every couple months featuring things I’ve seen on various streaming services and liked. In this list I’m going to focus on Netflix and Shudder. In future lists I’m going to strive for variety, but this one is going to have a lot of horror and indie... and indie horror!

Misunderstood (Incompresa), 2014 dir. Asia Argento

Where you can find it: Netflix US

I’ve hard a hardcore obsession for Argento’s 2004 film The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things since I saw it over a decade ago, and I’ve both recommended and defended that film to nearly everyone I know with an open mind. An absolutely batshit and disturbing ensemble piece based on the (fake) autobiography of the same name by JT LeRoy, The Heart is Deceitful features a pretty iconic lead performance by Argento as an abusive, white trash, drug addict mother, as well as appearances by Jeremy Renner, Marilyn Manson, Peter Fonda, Winona Ryder, Ben Foster, and Michael Pitt. Two pre-Disney Sprouse twins star opposite Argento as her traumatized son. It’s gritty and daring and shocking as hell. For a first effort, it’s a little sloppy and it does take some effort at disbelief suspension to buy Argento’s portrayal of an American through her Italian accent, but if you can get past that, it’s such a wild trip. Like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but about child abuse. 

Misunderstood is Argento’s first full-length directorial effort since The Heart is Deceitful, and she has seriously grown so much as a director between these two films. 

This quirky and engaging film chronicles 9-year-old Aria, a girl growing up in Rome in 1984. Her parents are rich celebrities who are too self-obsessed to properly parent her, and Aria is often left up to her own devices. Charlotte Gainsbourg delivers a great performance as her absent rockstar mother- and speaks perfect Italian throughout much of the film. The film is loosely based on Argento’s own childhood; her real-life father is Dario, the disturbed visionary behind Italian horror classics like Suspiria, Inferno and Tenebre. 

Misunderstood is a darkly memorizing film about girlhood. Argento possesses such an amazing skill for procuring absolutely stellar performances from the child actors in her films, and Giulia Salerno is fantastic as Aria. I hear people singing praises for the child actors in Stranger Things or the new It, and I laugh smugly comparing those performances to Salerno’s in Misunderstood. It’s such a compelling drama; a great foreign language film for people who have a tough time with subtitles. It totally blows Boyhood out of the water as a film about childhood. 

The Eyes of My Mother, 2016 dir. Nicolas Pesce

Where you can find it: Netflix US

If you’re maybe looking for something like The Girl Next Door but classier, The Eyes of My Mother is a prisoner/torture film you can take to dinner at Dorsia. 

Shot in beautiful black-and-white, this is a nice little serial killer making-of that is both grotesque and visually-pleasing. The story follows Francisca, a young girl whose mother, formerly an eye surgeon in Portugal, has fascinated her with vivisection and human anatomy. But this fascination has an unintended consequence when Francisca must cope with senseless tragedy. 

This film has a deliberate pace and convincing performances that seem out-of-place among typical torture-horror. The photography is really lovely, and it confidently supports the bygone era setting that feels like 1950s rural America. 

For such a small film, the writing and performances are impressive. Specifically, I thought the visiting serial killer was profoundly interesting for someone who only appears as a supporting character. I felt a real effort for this film to be respectable and taken seriously, and that isn’t something that I would generally say about other films that cover this topic and material. It’s in the same category as the likes of The Girl Next Door or Hostel and it is just leagues ahead of those films in quality. 

If you like “Fucked Up but Upper Crust” films like Antichrist, Under the Skin or The Witch, this little horror-drama about extreme alienation will be a good fit for you. 

Take Shelter, 2011 dir. Jeff Nichols

Where you can find it: Shudder

I finally got to watch this movie after maybe two or three years of waiting for an opportunity. It’s available on Shudder, which my household recently subscribed to. It’s $5/month (or $4/month if you buy a whole year at once) and has a yuuuge selection of horror movies that is extremely diverse- everything from Battle Royale to Cannibal Holocaust to Beyond the Black Rainbow. Even if you paid $10 for a couple months of it, any horror fan will easily find enough of their catalog to make the investment worth it. I SWEAR THIS IS NOT A PAID ADVERTISEMENT BUT SHUDDER HMU IF YOU WANNA BE MY SUGAR DADDY 

Where was I? Ah yes. Take Shelter is a great drama/psychological horror film that succeeds mainly on Michael Shannon’s jaw-dropping performance. He plays a man plagued by disturbing apocalyptic visions, and he isn’t sure if they’re true prophesies or emerging schizophrenia. It’s an excellent piece on mental illness in rural America. Michael Shannon is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors and I think this may be the best performance of his. I’ve heard Tarantino just finished his script for his Charles Manson movie, and if he doesn’t cast Robert Pattinson in the lead role (dude, just think about it), Michael Shannon is my second pick. The guy is just so genuine and talented. 

I would have liked for the ending to go in a different direction, but I seem to be the only person I’ve talked to with this opinion so take that with a grain of salt. 

Take Shelter has an interesting take on the weird convergence of prophetic conviction and mental illness. I would probably recommend it to fans of We Need to Talk About Kevin, Melancholia, or Jacob’s Ladder. 

The Transfiguration, 2016 dir. Michael O’Shea

Where you can find it: Netflix US

I can’t believe how few people have seen this film! It’s sensational!

This is a vampire movie for people who love gritty indie shit like Gummo or White Girl. It follows a teenage boy who’s absolutely captivated by vampire lore, to a horrifying degree. He’s coping with the recent death of his mother when he meets an equally traumatized teenage outcast, Sophie, whom he drags into his bizarre fantasy world. 

The Transfiguration goes places that horror hasn’t really been gutsy or diversified enough to go, with themes like child murder, 13 or 14-year-old kids dealing with fucked up shit, and inner city violence. Another deliberately paced film, the gritty and realistic tone makes the horror more realistic and shocking when it appears, in the same way that Drive lulls you into a sense of calm before assaulting you with car chases and Christina Hendricks’s fucking head getting blown the fuck off. 

The ending is perfectly ambiguous for a film so tethered to reality. Whereas something like Take Shelter doesn’t leave you wondering whether Michael Shannon’s visions were real apocalyptic prophesies or schizophrenic delusions, The Transfiguration respects you enough to leave you hanging on the final shot. 

This is a surprising film that left me a little damaged and disturbed for a few days. It goes to some very dark places, some that are so generally taboo for horror it’s like having a finger jammed into a wound you didn’t know you had. If the notion of a gritty independent film crossing over effectively into horror excites you, check this one out as soon as you can. 

A Dark Song, 2016 dir. Liam Gavin

Where you can find it: Netflix US

This is a nice little surprise of a horror film that I haven’t seen get much attention. An aggrieved woman and an occultist shut themselves in a creepy house to perform a strict, months-long black ritual. 

A Dark Song conjures up a balanced mixture of psychological horror, haunts and black magic. The two leads far exceed the horror standard and do an excellent job of maintaining the pace for an otherwise subtle and slow-burning film. A healthy amount of human drama between the characters paired with the strong performances makes you care a bit for both of them, which helps immensely to amplify the dread and horror when the movie gets scary. And, thankfully, it is fairly scary!

The only true weakness of this film is an ending that doesn’t quite live up to what my expectations were, but it’s not enough of a failing to subtract from the overall quality of the film. I know a few folks who are into ~~“THE OCCULT”~~ that liked this film quite a bit, and the atmosphere kind of reminds me of The Others, if The Others was a more serious and deliberate film. It’s a surprise in the same way that The Invitation was last year. Highly recommend for most horror fans. 

Hell House LLC, 2015 dir. Stephen Cognetti

Where you can find it: Shudder 

I mentioned this in my Creep 2 review, but I’m very open-minded toward found footage and I think it’s a much better genre than people give it credit for. I’ll make a list or video eventually talking about the ones I think are great, but today I want to recommend this relatively underrated found footage flick from 2015. 

Hell House LLC is starts off with newsreel and cell phone footage documenting a Halloween haunted house tour that ended with the unexplained deaths of 15 people. What follows is the newly discovered footage shot by the tour organizers leading up to the mysterious disaster. 

There are two things I’m looking for with found footage: why they have cameras, and why they continue to shoot when shit gets real. Hell House LLC nails both of these: they have the cameras to both document the set up and to manage the haunted house during operation. They continue to stay and film here because they have an understandable financial commitment keeping them there. Additionally, you get the feeling that these people are used to being around creepy stuff for a living and when you hear them expressing skepticism about the sp0ooo0o0oky things happening, their rationale for sticking around makes sense and is believable. 

The movie is pretty scary! I watched it in the dark with headphones and definitely jumped, shouted, and whipped my headphones off in terror a couple times. It does a good job of using limited light and perspective to make you dread shadows and dark corners. 

The film isn’t quite perfect, and suffers minorly from inexperienced actors, but it wasn’t enough to take me out of the movie. I really liked the concept and I hear a sequel is in production, so you might wanna get in on this. Recommend for fans of Grave Encounters or The Poughkeepsie Tapes.