#you're just actively letting yourself be taken advantage

[jaythelay]

Seriously being excited for a new Silent Hill is like being excited for the second coming except it's just the devil delivering a pile of shit.

Don't be a Pay Piggy Useful Idiot for Bar None the most pathetic and incompetently ran gaming company in existence, Konami.

[graveyardcuddles]

The Space Between - NSFW Reader x Astarion one-shot

18+ MDI

Summary: blood drinking and other fun activities in front of the mirror.

Word Count: ~ 2800

tags/warnings: post-canon, established relationship, porn with feelings, afab reader, gender-neutral reader, shameless vampire smut, blood-drinking, scent kink, mirror play, body exploration, fingering, PiV sex, unprotected sex

Astarion rarely ever mentions his lack of a reflection these days. Whenever the topic is brought up it's normally in his trademark sense of humor: a casual "You're blocking my view, love," when you enter your shared bathroom to preen as he's washing his mouth out with mint and rosemary water in the mornings. One of the many new habits he's picked up in the months since the two of you moved in.

He'll occasionally sneak up behind you to wrap his arms around you unexpectedly while checking over your outfit in the mirror, scaring the daylights out of you more than once. "We do look good together, don't we?" playfully whispered to you as his cool breath tickles your ear before proceeding to break out into heady laughter at your frightened reaction.

Your lover has had so many things taken from him. You could hardly blame him for holding onto his rage. Wrath was all he had for so long. Enabled him to survive before you came into his life and shared your blood with him. Gave him hope that despite everything he lost, he might one day at least have revenge. After achieving said revenge, for the first time in nearly two centuries, he could imagine more.

Adventures with you in the years following the fall of the Absolute only brought you two closer, intertwining his life with yours. The feeling of belonging to someone without being possessed by them. It was overwhelming at times for him. Most of the time on your travels together, he was happy to sit or stand back while you planned out the finer details of travel routes and provisions around the campire, carefully mapping out the following day. Yet it was usually never very long before he decided ne needed your attention, using his vampiric stealth to his advantage to startle you into breaking your concentration with a cold kiss to your neck.

You weren't all that surprised to how well he took to his freedom, having had faith in him and his resilient nature. But sometimes you were taken aback how easily Astarion accepted the daily monotony of everyday life. Oh sure, he had much to complain about and many eye-rolls to give every time he mentioned how terribly boring the whole prospect sounded. At first, he was resistant to routines. Too restrictive. He was free now. He wanted to do whatever he wanted when he wanted. You assured him you weren't about to give a vampire a sleep schedule but that he should at least pick up some hobbies during your off-seasons of adventuring.

Eventually, the two of you settled into something of a routine, and over time, you found yourself unable to imagine a life without him. The way his laughter filled you up with joy. The sound of him practicing on the recently-aquired piano in your living room, shy and tentative at first. He now plays almost daily. The way the scents of the perfumes he crafts fill your home. Everything about Astarion seemed to fit perfectly into your life, even if it took patience and time.

You had just finished a bath and were going through your nighttime routine as you stood before the full-length mirror in your bedroom. Letting the towel fall away, you combed your hair and applied perfume to your wrists and clavicle. It's a new blend of fragrancs Astarion had spent a tenday perfecting. Floral with warm undertones and a hint of sweetness. It was easy to lose yourself in it. Close your eyes and let it's aroma warm and dissipated across your skin. You feel relaxed and light. If Astarion wanted to be particularly cheeky, he could startle you quite badly if he wanted to. Instead, he announces his presence softly.

"Hello, darling," he purrs to you as he steps up behind you.

You smile as he places the tips of his fingers on your shoulders, touching you so lightly you can barely feel them. Letting yourself lean back a little, you relax into his chest and run your fingers through his hair, inviting him to touch you further.

"Fond of the new blend, are you?" He lips leave cool kisses in the crook of your neck as breaths in your scent. You chuckle and kiss his cheek.

"As a matter of fact, I am. I think it might be my favorite so far." He grins in that unique way he does when you know he's hiding something.

"What is it?" You query as he kisses your shoulder and runs his hands down to ever-so-lightly hold onto your hips. "Oh nothing," he says nonchalantly as he kisses up your neck, kindling warmth throughout your body.

"Right... you're just that giddy I enjoy the new scent, is it?" Your hands wander through his silver curls and gently brush against the tip of one of his ears. His fingers dig into your hips, and he buries he groans softly into your neck. "Mmm, I might have made it with you in mind," he mumbles into your skin.

You watch in the mirror as invisible digits dig into the pads of your hips, skin on your lower belly pulled taut from how hard he was gripping you. It was nearly painful. You inhale sharply give his ear an extremely soft tug, determined to give as much teasing as you got.

"Oh? Do you mean it compliments my natural pheromones is that it?" Astarion hummed and kissed along your neck mercilessly. "Something like that," he says melodicly as he grazes his fangs across where your jugular throbs, tantalizing him.

In the mirror, your arm seemingly floats overhead, caressing your unseen lover. You turn to actually look at him, and his eyes are full of lust and longing and vulnerability. "It's inspired by the scent of your blood," he whispers as those big crimson eyes stare at you through silver lashes. "Meant to pair with your impossibly delicious bouquet." One of his pale hands comes up to cup your breast.

You sigh at his touch. "Would you like to test how well they pair together, then?" He begins to trace lazy circles around your nipple with his forefinger, and you inhale sharply as you watch its reflection wiggling and twitching in the mirror. The sight alone was making you quickly lose your composure, his fingers sending cold shivers across your skin.

Your excited heart begins pounding rapidly against your ribs, and you're certain that Astarion can hear it. Probably smell it. He once told you the scent of someone's blood becomes stronger the faster it rushes through their body.

"In fact," he leaves a deep, bruising kiss on your neck, and the imprints of both of his hands sink into the flesh of your breasts as they dig into you. His needy grip on them has you bracing against him. "May I please indulge, my love? We can move to the bed and get more comfortable."

You were rapidly losing your will to continue teasing him. Leaning your head back, you offer your neck to him in answer. "Mmm, no. Wanna watch you drink from me here," You lean back further and stare up as him adoringly. He smiles with a wicked sort of pride that's normally reserved for combat. "Well, how can I say 'no' to that?"

With practiced lips, he feels out your pulse point slowly, taking his time. The burning in your core that's been building for a while now is nearly painful. You watch your nipples continue to be pintched and stretched seemingly on their own. Astarion licks up your artery, and you can see his saliva glistening on your neck just as you feel it.

Despite your best efforts to maintain your composure, you squirm a little in his hold. He laughs, kissing your cheek. "You know better than to flail about, darling. Let's not have an accident, hm?" Gently, he tilts your head back and to the side, holding you firm by the jawline. His forefinger and thumb rub your chin tenderly as his fangs line up with your neck. His other hand comes up to rest his palm over your heart, feeling it hammer underneath his touch.

You watch as the side of your neck, slick, wet, and rudy from hickeys and love nips, forms two tiny indentation marks. He ghosts his fangs over the spot, creating pinpricks marks over where your blood pounds just under the skin.

The tension builds as those twins dots dig deeper into your skin. The burning icy bite turns into a sharp sting as you hear the soft mutted 'pop' of your skin being broken. You exhale a strained moan as the marks on your neck erupt, and crimson ichor wells up and washes over your flesh. Your neck is painted in red as his velvety tongue works over the wounds, each roll licking up more maroon gushes.

Mouthfuls of your blood vanish before your eyes as he drinks you in, making you a part of him. Invisible lips and teeth tug and suckle at your flesh, drawing out more blood. In your ear, you hear the sound of your blood on his lips, every greedy gulp from his throat, and every little satisfied exhale from his nose. You begin to lose your balance as your head gets light, but his hold on you remains firm. Just as you feel yourself growing weak, he withdraws his fangs and laps at the bite to close the wounds.

Without warning, he uses his supernatural strength advantage to lift you off of your feet, hugging you by your waist. You lean back against him and watch as you float midair, your feet hovering a few inches off of the floor. A trickle of blood flows from your neck down your torso. Your head is spinning, your toes curl, and you feel as though you might pass out. Luckily, he takes mercy on you and slowly sets you down. You stumble a little on your feet. "Ugh, asshole," you mutter. Astarion can only laugh.

"Delicious as always," he says to you, voice low and rumbling. "You are always full of such brilliant ideas, you know that?" he giggles as he nuzzles into your neck, keeping a firm hold on you. Turning your head to look up at him, he traces the edges of your face as he smiles, a bit loosened up from your essence.

He pulls you into a bloody kiss, mouths open, and tongues overlapping one another. His hand cups between your legs as you kiss, and you moan loudly into his mouth. When he pulls away, he gives you a playful look. "Sit, love," his eyes are full of anticipation as he gingerly pushes you down by the shoulders.

You sit back on your knees, and he settles down behind you, keeping an arm around your waist. "You like seeing yourself like this, darling?" He pulls you flush against him to sit on his lap, back flushed against his chest and legs straddling his thighs. You feel his arousal pressing into your ass as your reflection hovers just off the ground in the mirror, leaving you exposed to him. "Because I adore you like this. So wanton," he kneads one of your breasts while his other hand holds you still against him.

Your core throbs with need, and Astarion watches you over your shoulder eagerly. He tugs on your nipple some more, causing pleasure to shoot down your body. You feel your cunt fluttering around nothing as he mercilessly draws out your pleasure. Your pelvic muscles contract involuntarily as you stiffle back a whine.

"Aw, does it ache, darling? Do you need to be filled so badly that it hurts?" He keeps playing with your breasts and your body heaves and pants from your nipples being overstimulated and your pussy being neglected. You loll your head back, aching with arousal. "No, no," he scolds, taking you by the jaw and making you watch yourself. "Just look at the mess you made, naughty thing." He wasn't lying.

Your cunt was desperate for attention, pulsing and leaking slick down to the bulge of his pants. You're beyond trying to keep yourself quiet and you moan desperately as Astarion applies pressure to the flesh just above your clit with his fingerpads, just barely tugging on the sensitive bud. He was torturing you, so close and yet so far. "Ugh, Astarion pleeeaasee." You grind your ass against his erection, trying to convey your desperation. But feeling him throb underneath you as he groans your name only drives you more crazy.

His fingers move down to finally run along between your legs, tracing light circles slowly around your bud. Taking his time. You moan openly for more. As you wriggle in his lap, he plays with your pussy, admiring how it pulsates so frantically, begging to be filled.

He finally gives you some relief as he presses two fingers inside you, your body more than ready enough. His silver curls tickle the side of your face as he leans his head forward to get a better look. As you feel the familiar, wonderful stretch of his cool fingers, he gasps softly in quiet astonishment.

"Look, love," he whispers to you. Looking in the mirror, you see the ringed muscles around your cunt quivering as your pussy is gapped open by his fingers. Two fingers become three as he plunges even deeper and wider into you. Your lips are pulled and pushed back and forth by unseen forces as Astarion whispers sweet nothings in your ear. Your body is unbearably hot, yet his cool frame and fingers provide relief even as he simultaneously makes it worse.

"You're so beautiful like this," he says softly, his teasing demeanor beginning to fall away. "Your body is so open for me. It's so lovely, so gorgeous. All for me." He kisses you on the side of your face as you lose yourself to the sensations. "Fuck," he pulls his fingers out of you and pushes you off of him to undo his pants. "You'll be the second death of me."

Astarion pulls you back onto his lap, shifting your hips so that his cock is nestled between your folds, parting them and rubbing up against your clit. His lazy rocking motions are meant to further edge you, but you can hear him breathing heavily in your ear, trying to maintain composure.

You rolled your hips in turn, increasing the friction and causing lewd sounds to fall from both of your lips. Astarion makes a high-pitched whining sound that he fails to stifle, making him bite his lip and knit his brows together in desperation. He was adorable like this.

You reach down between your legs and stroke up and down your folds and his shaft. Grabbing onto his length, you turn back to look at him, seeking permission. He nods, gripping your hips tighter.

You line him up with your entrance and watch as your pussy stretches again, the pressure pushing inward as the head spreads you open. Lowering yourself over him slowly, you savor the sight of him filling you.

"Gods," his chin digs a little into your shoulder as he watches along with you, his breathing heavy. He openly moans as you sink down on him fully, feeling the base settling around you. He whispers your name and pulsates within you, causing the ring between your legs to flutter.

"Fuck," his digits sink into the soft flesh of hips and he struggles to form words as he observes your body. "So full of me," he pants.

Holding the position, you can see at least a few inches within your body, your pelvic muscles hugging Astarion tight. You tilt your head over to look at him, how he watches your body react to him. He looks almost dizzy, his mouth hanging open in a haze of lust. You run your fingers across his cheekbone gently, breaking him from his concentration on your reflection.

His eyes hold your stare as you simply feel one another. Your arms wrap around his head as you pull him into a kiss, this time gently. Still full of passion but slow, burning, lips and tongue softly brushing against one another as your faces nuzzled together. "I'm yours," you break the kiss to say to him. Within you can feel his cock throbbing, causing you to gasp and tighten around him.

"Say it again," he growls softly, pressing his forehead into yours and moving a hand down to just above your pubic bone. He applies counter pressure on where his cock is already internally pressing on your g-spot.

He rocks just enough to move in and out of you by a few inches, keeping himself inside. "I'm yours, Astarion!" The bow drawn tight inside of you was threatening to let loose. You were babbling more than dirty talking as Astarion turned his attention once more on your pearl. As he bounces you roughly in his lap, he presses onto your lower abdomen while rutting into you.

The rough fucking along with the stimulation of your g-spot and clit have you cumming around his cock, your muscles contracting wildly. Astarion praises you breathlessly as he watches you flex around him in ecstacy, and his voice is quickly cut off with a succession of whines, which become moans as your climax pushes him towards his own.

His cock throbs, filling you up as he clutches onto you, pale fingers digging into your ass and hips. In the mirror your messy and swollen pussy pulses rhythmically as it leaks with his cum.

You relax into his chest as you let him slip out of you, his arms wrap around you and hold you close.

You sit there together for a long while, kissing each other tenderly. His lips delicately kiss each finger on your hand, and then the back of your hand and up to your shoulder before kissing all over, adorning you with affection. He kisses you as if he's trying to trace constellations on your face. You shift to sit on his lap and cup his face gently. Sweeping a lock off of his forehead, you lean forward to kiss his brow. "We fit together perfectly."

[softpascalito]

Snowy Surprise - Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Joel takes advantage of your lunch break on patrol for ... other activities. Afterwards, a promise he made about christmas decorations comes back to haunt him.

Relationships: Joel Miller x F!Reader WC: 2200 Tags/Warnings: Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Jackson!Era, Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Established Relationship, Vaginal Fingering, Female Reader, Neck Kissing, Dirty Talk, Semi-Public Sex, Christmas Tree, Snow Read on AO3 full advent calendar (updated daily)

notes: hello loves! i really wanted to do something special for christmas time this year and i had so much fun with kinktober that i decided to make a little pedro pascal advent calender! this also doubles as a piece for stephs (@toomanystoriessolittletime) winter writing challenge for this week! check it out here ♥

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“God, I hope they're serving some warm food tonight,” you mutter, your body slowly moving up and down as you steer your horse up the hill and through a small trickle, the water glistening with the thin sheet of ice that is decorating its top. It crunches under the hooves of the animal as you make your way past the abandoned houses, the caved in roofs and trees heavy with fresh snow.

The ice crunches again, this time behind you, and it's the only indication that you're not alone. He stays quiet.

“The soup we had last week- what was it? Pumpkin?” You ask absent-mindedly. “That was delicious. And hot. Burned my tongue. But it was worth it.”

He still doesn't say anything. Not that it's unusual. It's why you're such a good fit. You’re complementary in that way. You talk, he listens. He pretends to be annoyed, you know he secretly likes the way your thoughts fly out of your mouth, practically unfiltered in his presence.

You let your horse fall back slightly until he catches up with you, the two of you riding side by side. “Joel?”

He turns his head at that, soft brown eyes landing on yours as he seems to be snapped out of thought, “Hm?”

“Were you listening to what I said?”

A small grumble escapes his throat, a dark eyebrow moving up ever so slightly. You roll your eyes at him, deciding to just drop it, “Forget it, it doesn't matter anyway.”

He lets a few moments of silence pass until you reach the small lookout and demount your horses, tying them to a small fence post in front of the building. When he passes you on his way inside, there's a small smirk on his face.

“It wasn't pumpkin. It was carrot.”

He does listen.

Joel signs the patrol book while you busy yourself with the binoculars. The snow is almost blinding, the past week having brought more of it than you're used to, even in Jackson.

It's the favorite topic at night in the tipsy bison, with people complaining about the cold, about pipes bursting and about paths needing to be cleared every few hours. But above all the complaints is the knowledge that the vast amount of snow also has its upsides, keeping infected unable to move as fast and raiders from entering the valley at all.

That, and the children have taken to sledding down the small slopes in the town center, filling the air of the community with genuine laughter and happiness that more than makes up for the hardships the winter brings.

“Coast looks clear,” you mumble into his direction and Joel gives a small nod of approval as he finishes scribbling what is no doubt another joke at Tommys expense into the large book.

As you place the lens caps back onto the worn-out binoculars, two strong hands are placed on each side of your hips, Joel's body gently pressing into yours as he hums into your ear.

“Are we on time?” 

You sigh dramatically but do check the small watch you carry in your backpack, finding that you've made good time on your way to the outlook, “We've got time for a small lunch break.”

But Joel doesn't let go, his arms only tightening their grip as he brings his lips to your cheek and you feel his teeth graze over your skin.

“Lunch break. For lunch,” you try weakly but he's having none of it. Joel's gloves come off with a swift motion and he drops them to the ground, his arms sneaking around you and pressing you into him with a little more force. His fingers don't quite extend to your most intimate areas yet, instead just teasing around them, his touch a little more forceful than usual to make sure you can feel it through your thick winter jacket.

“I think I have a better idea,” he mutters into your ear and you nod, pressing your body back against his as you give in.

It's not fair. The way that your brain practically goes silent the moment you're in his arms. It's like a storm raging outside and falling quiet the moment you shut the door. You wonder if he knows a secret pressure point on your body that noone else has ever found, one that eases your worries, that slows down the thoughts in your head that usually rush past at what feels like lightspeed. There's always something to worry about, something to consider, something to feel.

When you're with Joel, you only feel him.

He knows this. And he recognizes every time, without failure, the moment when your brain falls quiet, just by the way you push back into him, a soft gasp on your lips.

“Joel- it's too cold- '' you mumble. There's no heating around you, making the logistics of what he undoubtedly has in mind more than difficult.

“It's okay. I got you,” Joel whispers back. His hand is still warm from the thick gloves he always wears on patrol and he doesnt open a single button of your clothing, instead opting to flatten his hand and slide it into your pants.

His fingers barely fit into the front of your jeans and it causes them to press down on your skin immediately, drawing a whimper from your lips. He shushes you gently, curling his hand to reach further and a moment later, his index finger is inside of you, the calloused skin brushing against your inner walls.

“Fuck, Joel, please-” You practically beg, a familiar heat already burning in your core as you push yourself into the palm of his hand, squirming with the way his hand aligns so perfectly with your front.

Maybe it's because of the cold or because he knows that you're still on a schedule but he doesn't make you wait as long as he usually does, slowly beginning to move his finger in and out of you. You can feel your own wetness staining the inside of your panties as it runs down his fingers and your own hands begin to wander, one clutching onto his arm while you sneak the other around yourself, brushing over the outline of Joel's hard cock behind you.

He hisses under his breath, feeling the touch even through the thick fabric of his jeans and a second finger enters you almost automatically.

“This is about you, darlin’,” he mutters, pressing himself against you a little harder and using his unoccupied hand to grab your wrist, “You just be good for me and stay still.” 

So he doesn't want to go all the way, probably a smart choice in the current weather. Any disappointment you feel is quickly washed away however as you feel Joel's fingers curl inside of you, brushing over the spot that makes your knees weak.

You have no idea how he's able to finger you this well in the current position, restricted by the cold and all the layers of clothing between you. The small room is filled with the sound of your heavy breathing and you can feel the warmth of Joel's breath in your neck as he uses his nose to push aside the scarf that's wrapped around your throat and nips at your skin.

His other hand, still wrapped around your wrist, comes to your front, still restricting your arm while also holding you up.

“Come on, let me hear you, baby,” he mutters under his breath. “Noone around to tell us off. Just you and me.”

And again, your brain doesn't protest. You don't think about the dangers of being too loud, of humans or infected being attracted by the sound, of anything really. Your body and your brain seem to agree. You're safe with him.

So you let the noises flow from your lips, whimpering and moaning, mixing Joels name with a string of curse words when his thumb begins rubbing over your clit.

“Fuck, Joel, please, please, please let me come, Joel-” You break off into another fit of unintelligible words and Joel hums behind you, rubbing his nose against your ear. You can practically hear the grin on his face, “Go on, darlin’.”

It only takes a few more thrusts of his fingers inside of you until you're falling apart in his arms, your body jerking as the pleasure of your orgasm shoots through you.

Joel's arms stay tightly wrapped around you and he gives a few more gentle, shallow curls of his fingers, letting you fully ride out your orgasm, before he withdraws his hands from your jeans, leaving your underwear a mess.

“There we go. That's my girl,” he mumbles into your ear as he turns you around carefully and tugs on your jacket a bit, making sure that you're properly protected against the cold. It's endearing how much attention he pays to your shirt being tucked in correctly and your zipper being drawn. He holds you for a while longer, placing gentle kisses on the skin that he still can reach until he's sure you're good to go. You catch a glimpse of him licking the taste of you off his fingers before putting his gloves back on.

Your legs are still wobbly when you head back to your horses a few minutes later and you nod towards the woods, “I'm gonna go pee real quick.”

You're not sure why you blush now when you've literally just had Joel's hand knuckle-deep inside of you but he doesn't seem to mind. In fact, he almost enjoys it, a small smirk playing around his lips, “You do that.”

Ever the gentleman, Joel waits with Old Beardy and Japan while you stalk through the snow for a few more meters until you find a spot that looks like it'll work well-enough as a makeshift toilet. It takes a moment to undress with all the layers you're wearing and you curse as you pull your panties down to find them stained with your own juices, the sticky liquid smeared throughout the cotton fabric.

Meanwhile Joel's hand is scratching the soft neck of his horse when he hears a small yell. In an instant, he has his revolver drawn and is hurrying into the direction you disappeared into mere minutes ago.

He can feel his heart pounding in his chest as his boots sink into the snow with every step, his muscles ready to strike out at whatever danger is lurking behind the trees.

And then, suddenly, there you are. Standing in front of a pine tree that's only a little taller than him, your hand caressing the needles wet with snow.

Joel takes a breath, his gaze flying over the surroundings once more before he lets out a small sigh and lowers his gun, “What's going on?”

Your eyes, round and gentle, wander between the tree and him, lips pursed, like you know his reply to a question you haven't even asked yet.

“I know it's not the most practical option but-” You mumble and you can see the gears turning in Joel's head before he pinches his nose, closing his eyes for a moment, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

It's been a few weeks since you sprung the idea on him while cuddling one night, mentioning that you hadn't had a Christmas tree for years and that with the woods around Jackson so full of pines, it would be a waste to not get one. Joel didn't care much for it but he was so content in that moment with you in his arms that he gave in, agreeing that a little bit of decorating wouldn't hurt. And it seems like precisely that promise is now back to haunt him.

Your hand leaves the pine and instead you reach for Joel, tugging on his jacket a little, “Come on. We have some rope, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, we do have some rope,” he almost grunts, still keeping his eyes closed. When he opens them again, the brown in his eyes matches the trees around you and you're close enough to see the snow reflected in them.

“How bad do you want this?” He asks, honestly. He's straightforward, as always, so you decide to be as well.

“I really want it. It's perfect, it has the right size and we can keep it outside until I have finished the decorations and-”

Joel raises his hand a little, effectively cutting you off. He's heard enough.

“Okay.”

It's late when you get back to Jackson, riding through the wooden gate on your horses, the freshly cut pine tree tied to a makeshift sled behind you.

“I can't believe you talked me into this.”

Joel had offered a few more grunts and complaints about picking a tree so far away from Jackson when there were more than enough close to the perimeter. But then you had leaned over to him, just as he finished tying the tree down with a few sturdy knots.

“Maybe I can make it up to you by using this for something else, later.”

He smirked on the ride back, only stopping when you reached the small road that led down to the town and putting on his usual, gruff demeanor.

It barely lasts until you reach your doorstep.

notes: i hope you liked it! if you did, feel free to let me know if you want to be added to my twitter/tumblr tag list so you get a lil notification every time your advent calender is ready to be opened. wishing everyone a very lovely december ♥

[rubra-wav]

Husk x shy/insecure reader? Him helping reader be more confident and to stand up for themself!

Maybe even a lil scene where he calls them out for always agreeing to everything without second thought, calling them naive (and maybe stupid. He is a bit rough). They could react by either crying and confessing they hate conflict and thats why they do that, or they could whisper the confession (no tears, up to you).

Husk x shy/insecure reader : Above Whispers

A/N I wasn't sure if this was supposed to romantic or platonic so I went with platonic, sorry.

I NEED to remake this banner istg

Cw: SFW, gn!reader, Husker is tough loving in his callout (idk how to tag it properly)

- You'd been a resident of the hotel for several months, during this time catching the eye of the resident bartender.

- You quietly did as you were told, never raising your voice even when it was obvious you didn't want to do something or didn't agree with something someone was saying.

- Anything to avoid conflict.

- These things not only irritated the bartender about you but also concerned him.

- He'd pushed several times intentionally testing the waters with you, and you hadn't done a single thing against it, just going along with his will.

- A sinner like you would be taken advantage of sooner rather than later in hell, possibly even by certain other residents.

- On multiple occasions, he had forced more malevolent forces Alastor to stay away from you, but it was clear he'd be working himself until the end of time to keep you from falling into someone's clutches if you didn't actually change yourself.

- Despite Husk's more apathetic side telling him to stay out of it, he confronted you upon it after a long day of group activities, cornering you to speak with you.

- You looked up at Husk in slight discomfort as he stood in front of you in the shittily carpet lined hallway looking very serious. Despite being a rather cute looking demon, all things considered, he was still intimidating.

- "That whole time you were letting that overly obnoxious bleeding heart push you around like a lost puppy." Husk said bluntly.

- You jolted like you'd been zapped at his words, going to try and protest that you just didn't mind, really, but you were cut off short.

- "You aren't foolin' me with the 'oh it's fine' bullshit. Drop it and be honest." Husk took a step forward towards you, watching you starting to shake slightly, eyes going misty.

- You shuffled uncomfortably, looking away with clear discomfort, chest aching at being called out. You just wanted to disappear.

- "..You're right." Your lip quivered as you fought and failed to keep your voice from quivering like the rest of you. "I hate causing issues. It doesn't matter if I'm uncomfortable as long as there's no negative attention on me, I-"

- Husk's hand came to rest on your shoulder, cutting you off from rambling. You looked up to his yellow eyes, clearly a vision of irritation bordered by his bushy eyebrows. "You're naive and fucking stupid." He announced, startling you.

- You sighed heavily, a tear slowly sliding down your cheek. You slowly nodded in agreement after a couple of seconds of heavy silence, prompting the demon's ear to twitch.

- "Dont agree! Fight against me! You need to get over this complete avoidance of confrontation!" Husk pat his hand on your shoulder. "This shit in hell is just going to get you either shackled to someone for all eternity like I am or fucking killed!"

- You were surprised to watch him go from annoyance to seemingly being extremely concerned for your safety so quickly. Husk was concerned about showing as much as well, forcing his face to be a mask of indifference and taking his hand off of you.

- He looked back at you coolly as he turned away to leave. "Do what you want, but don't come crying to me when you end up owned. God knows I have enough suckers whining to me in this dump." He grumbled, walking away with heavy steps.

- You stood in place, thinking about his words and the actions from him that you now registered as him trying to help you out of the situations you had gotten yourself into.

- He was right, and you knew it. It wouldn't be easy to get yourself out of being a yes-man, but.. something inside you had the feeling the overly pessimistic bartender would help you through it.

- Husk on the other hand, was facepalming about it. He just knew he'd be cursing himself for caring about another one.

[theambitiouswoman]

Are you being nice or are you being a doormat? 🫠🫣✨

This really goes hand in hand with my post on self abandonment that you can read by clicking here because being a doormat basically means not putting yourself first and letting others take advantage of you. You can be nice and polite to others, and show them respect and kindness without having to abandon yourself or your needs. It’s important to find this balance. You can’t find fulfillment in others, only in yourself. And when you love and respect yourself, you treat others the same way, and expect the same treatment back without compromise. When you are searching for something in others, we tend to oversacrifice in order to fill that emotional void.

Being nice means treating others with kindness, respect, and consideration. It means being polite and helpful without compromising your own needs or boundaries.

Examples:

Holding the door open for someone behind you.

Offering to help a friend move.

Complimenting a coworker on their presentation skills.

Thanking someone sincerely when they've done something kind for you.

Giving a thoughtful gift to a family member for their birthday.

Offering your seat to someone in a crowded bus or train.

Sending a thank-you note after receiving a gift.

Listening attentively when someone is sharing their problems.

Complimenting a coworker's new haircut or outfit.

Volunteering your time to help out at a community event.

Being a doormat, on the other hand, involves excessively putting other peoples needs and desires before your own, often at the expense of your well-being. This can lead to being taken advantage of.

Examples:

Agreeing to work late consistently when it affects your work-life balance.

Letting someone borrow money repeatedly without expecting them to pay you back.

Allowing a friend to cancel plans on you last-minute multiple times without expressing your disappointment.

Accepting blame for something you didn't do to avoid confrontation.

Always compromising on your personal values and beliefs just to fit in with a certain group.

Ignoring your own feelings and going along with activities you dislike just to please others.

Always saying yes to friends even if their requests inconvenience you.

Letting others make decisions for you all the time without voicing your preferences.

Always apologizing, even when you're not at fault, to avoid conflict.

Always putting your needs aside to fulfill others demands, even when it negatively impacts you.

You can read my posts on boundaries by clicking here for more examples.

[warabidakihime]

A Love Discovered in the Darkest of Times

Characters: Chuuya x Reader x Dazai

Synopsis: Sometimes, the love we seek has been right in front of us all along, waiting for us to see it clearly.

A/N: Don't mind me. I'm just taking advantage of the sudden surge of creativity and inspiration in my veins. :D

Also, I'm a sucker for happy endings.

Read the first part first here: Part 1: Love's Melancholy Farewell

--

Several months had passed since Chuuya and you parted ways, each carving out separate paths in their lives. Chuuya immersed himself in the demanding tasks assigned by the Port Mafia's leader, Mori Ougai, while you took the necessary time to heal. The initial three months proved to be the most challenging for you, with countless nights spent shedding tears and drowning sorrows in alcohol.

During one particularly difficult night, you found yourself succumbing to the temptation to reach out to Chuuya. In a drunken haze, you called him, offering apologies for the pain you caused and desperately pleading for another chance.

Chuuya was taken aback as he answered the phone, recognizing your voice on the other end. Her words were slurred, and the pain in her voice tugged at his heart. "Y/N? Is that you?" he asked, trying to maintain composure.

"Chuuya, I'm sorry," you slurred. "I'm so sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean to break your heart."

Chuuya's grip on the phone tightened. "It's alright, Y/N. We both needed time apart," he managed to say, though his heart conflicted.

"But I miss you so much," you continued. "I miss your smile, your laugh, and your touch. I miss everything about you."

Chuuya felt a pang in his heart. "Y/N, please don't do this. You're drunk, and you don't know what you're saying," he said, his voice breaking.

"No, Chuuya. I know exactly what I'm saying. I love you, Chuuya. I've always loved you," you confessed, sobbing.

Chuuya's heart skipped a beat. "Y/N, I..." he trailed off, uncertain.

"Please, Chuuya. Give me another chance. I promise I won't mess things up again. I love you so much," you pleaded.

Chuuya felt his resolve faltering. "Y/N, please... don't do this. We're not good for each other. You know that," he said, his voice laced with sorrow.

Your voice was slurred, clearly heavily intoxicated. "But Chuuya, I love you. I need you. Please," you begged.

Chuuya's throat tightened. "Y/N, you need to stop. You're drunk. Rest and take care of yourself," he pleaded, his voice breaking.

You were about to speak, but Chuuya couldn't bear it anymore. He hung up, tears streaming down his face as he cried for the love he couldn't have.

Chuuya buried his face in his hands, body shaking with sobs. He wanted to be with you, but he couldn't ignore the pain you had caused him. "Why did you have to call me now, Y/N? Why did you have to make me relive everything again?" he shouted to no one.

The room shook as Chuuya unintentionally activated his ability, unleashing his fury on the walls. "Damn it, Y/N! Why did you have to do this to me?!" he screamed, his voice hoarse and raw with emotion.

He collapsed to the floor, tears streaming down his face. "I want to be with her, but I can't forget everything she's done," he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.

Chuuya spent the entire night engulfed in a tumult of emotions, the weight of your feelings too heavy to decipher. As he scrolled through his phone, images of you stared back at him, each one reopening wounds that refused to heal. Tears streamed down his face unchecked.

In a sudden surge of frustration, he hurled his phone across the room, watching it shatter against the unforgiving wall. "Damn it!" he yelled, his voice trembling with a mix of anger and despair. Rising to his feet, he kicked the wall repeatedly, his foot growing numb, and his knuckles bloodied.

"Why am I like this?" he asked, voice cracking. "Why can't I just let you go? Why do I still love you after everything you've done to me?" Another punch to the wall echoed his inner turmoil. Collapsing onto the floor once more, he succumbed to the waves of sorrow shaking his body.

Chuuya remained in that agonizing state, time slipping away unnoticed as misery and self-loathing consumed him. When he finally lifted his head, the gentle morning sunlight bathed his room. Sitting there on the floor, drained and helpless, his heart continued its feeble yearning for you.

-

Nearly a year had passed since you returned to Yokohama after an extended mission abroad that you had actively proposed. Despite the time away, the weight of your pain lingered. Training and casual encounters with strangers served as distractions, but nothing could erase the memory of your heartbreak.

Seated at the bar, nursing your drink, a guy sidled up beside you. His charming smile and engaging conversation about jobs and favorite movies drew you in. Laughter ensued, creating a momentary escape.

"Can I buy you another drink?" he asked, his hand brushing against yours.

A thrill surged through you at his touch. "Sure, why not?" you replied, your heart racing.

As the conversation deepened, so did the flirting. Leaning closer, your eyes locked in a heated gaze. A shiver of desire ran through you as his hand trailed up your arm.

"Let's go somewhere more private," he whispered, his lips hovering over yours.

You nodded, and they made their way to a hotel room. Once alone, you started to kiss. Initially, your thoughts drifted to Dazai, but soon, they veered to Chuuya. Tears streamed down your face, but you didn't stop. You needed this, a brief respite from the haunting memories.

Amid the continued intimacy, a sob escaped you. The guy pulled back, concerned. "Hey, are you okay?"

Taking a deep breath, you forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just... I'm just a little emotional right now."

Concern filled his eyes, but you leaned in and captured him for another round of searing kisses, it was your attempt to distract yourself. As you moved together, tears fell again, but you pressed on. Anything to feel something other than pain and heartbreak.

Afterward, lying on the bed, catching your breath, tears still streamed down your face. Hollow inside, the fleeting pleasure did nothing to ease the gnawing pain in your heart. As the guy left without a word, disappointment in yourself settled in.

You sat up, contemplating calling Chuuya, finger hovering over his number on the screen. Should you? Would he even want to talk after all this time? With a deep sigh, you placed the phone back on the bedside table, lying down again, the weight of your pain still heavy upon you.

The next morning, you left the hotel and headed down to the lobby. Surprise struck you when you saw Dazai there, talking to Kunikida. They were likely on a mission together. The air was knocked from your chest at the sight of the man who was once the love of your life. Initially, happiness flickered, but it soon dissipated, replaced by rage and hurt. Not ready for a confrontation, you tried to avoid them, but Dazai saw you and called out your name. Turning to face him, your heart raced with anger and fear.

"What do you want?" you snapped.

Dazai held up his hands in a placating gesture. "I just wanted to say hello. It's been a long time."

You scoffed. "Yeah, it has. And it's been even longer since you broke my heart and abandoned me."

Dazai sighed. "Can we talk somewhere else?"

After a few seconds, the detective managed to convince you, and you followed him to a quiet alleyway, your heart still racing with anger and fear. You knew this conversation was going to hurt, but you had to know the truth.

"So? What happened, Dazai?" you demanded. "Why did you leave me?"

Dazai looked pained as he spoke. "You know why, Y/N. After Odasaku died, I couldn't stay in the mafia anymore. I had to leave, and I couldn't take you with me. It wasn't safe."

"You could have at least told me," you said through gritted teeth. "You could have given me a choice."

"I didn't want to put you in danger," Dazai replied. "I thought the mafia was where you belonged."

A wave of anger washed over you. "How dare you decide what's best for me! You had no right to leave me like that!"

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Dazai said, his voice softening. "I never wanted to hurt you. But I had to do what I thought was best."

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face. "You don't get to decide what's best for me. I can take care of myself."

Dazai reached out to touch you, but you flinched away. "Y/N, please. I still care about you."

Turning away, your voice trembling, you said, "I don't want to hear it. You broke my heart, Dazai. And you left me with nothing."

Silence fell between you, and you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for what you were about to say next.

"Chuuya was there for me when you weren't," you said. "He understood me, and he accepted me. He loved me more than you ever did."

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes as memories of Chuuya flooded your mind. His unconditional love, constant support, and non-judgmental acceptance of your flaws came rushing back. You thought about the times he held you close, wiping away your tears, reassuring you that everything would be okay. Recollections of how he prioritized your needs over his own and willingly endured harm to protect you filled your thoughts.

As you spoke, tears streamed down your face—not just tears of pain or guilt but tears of realization. Finally understanding your true feelings, you admitted, "I am in love with Chuuya. I love him with all my heart, and I can't imagine a life without him. He loved me unconditionally, even when I pushed him away. And I am so stupid for doing so.”

The biggest realization hit you, "I love him more than anything in this world."

Silence hung between you and Dazai. Opening your eyes, you met his regretful gaze, but you no longer cared about his judgment. You now knew what you wanted, and nothing was going to stand in your way. With a determined look, you walked out of the dark alleyway, disregarding Dazai. Despite the hurt he caused, he silently wished you well, sending his most genuine good luck.

It wasn't much, considering the pain he inflicted, but it was better than nothing. He genuinely hoped for your happiness, even if it meant letting you go.

As you walked down the street, thoughts of Chuuya consumed your mind. Your finger hovered over his number on your phone screen, conflicting emotions rushing through you. Uncertain if you were ready to reach out after everything that happened, your heart raced at the thought of him. Stopping in your tracks, the overwhelming feeling inside you couldn't be contained. A silly grin spread across your face as thoughts of the redhead filled your mind, both scared and excited at the same time.

-

Several days had passed since your encounter with Dazai, and you couldn't shake Chuuya from your thoughts, despite your efforts to distract yourself. Hours were spent staring at your phone, contemplating whether to call him or not. Each time you picked it up, fear gripped you, preventing the call.

Days turned into weeks, and your anxiety and guilt intensified. The nagging feeling persisted—had you missed your chance with Chuuya? Was he now happy with someone else? You hesitated, not wanting to disrupt his life and complicate things after everything that unfolded between you.

Even as you tried to convince yourself it was for the best, your heart ached with longing and regret. You missed Chuuya's laughter, his smile, and his touch. The way he looked at you lingered in your mind, as if you were the most important person in the world.

One night, unable to sleep, you finally made a decision. You knew you had to talk to Chuuya, to express your feelings and apologize for everything and well, hope for the best.

-

You stood outside Chuuya's office at the Port Mafia headquarters, your hand poised to knock on the door. Each attempt to summon the courage ended in a retreat. An hour had passed, spent pacing in front of the building, trying to muster the nerve to face Chuuya.

The need to talk to him, to express your feelings and apologize, lingered in your mind. Yet, every attempt to knock on the door faltered as nerves took over, causing you to back out each time.

Footsteps approached from inside the building at one point, prompting panic. You ran to hide behind a nearby utility closet, waiting in anticipation. The minutes felt like ages, heart racing with fear. Eventually, the footsteps faded away, and you peeked out from behind the storage closet, relieved that you hadn't been caught.

You knew you couldn't keep stalling forever, but the fear remained insurmountable. All you could do was keep trying, hoping that eventually, the courage to face Chuuya would find its way to you.

-

Chuuya found himself deep within a rival organization's stronghold, on a mission assigned by Mori Ougai to gather vital intel. His stealthy entrance, owing to exceptional fighting skills and the gravity-manipulating ability, "For the Tainted Sorrow," went unnoticed. However, a moment of carelessness led to an ambush. Surrounded by heavily armed guards wielding weapons designed to counter ability users, Chuuya faced a formidable challenge.

Remaining composed, he knew he had to act swiftly. Focusing his energy, he activated his ability, shifting the gravity around him and catching the guards off balance. Seizing the opportunity, he engaged in a fierce battle, combining martial arts prowess with the manipulation of gravity.

The fight was intense, and despite his best efforts, Chuuya found himself outnumbered. Each blow he delivered drained his energy, but he refused to yield. The mission had to be completed.

Finally overcoming the last guard, Chuuya paid the price with severe injuries. His wounds bled profusely, and awareness of the urgency to escape gripped him. Stumbling out of the building, weakened by the ordeal, he collapsed on the ground.

Meanwhile, you received a message from Mori, urging you to assist Chuuya as reinforcements alongside a few mafia goons. Recognizing this as an opportunity to reunite with him without things becoming too awkward, you willingly accepted the orders. Arriving just in time, you witnessed Chuuya lying on the ground, barely conscious.

Without hesitation, you sprang into action, using your own abilities to repel the enemy. Yet, the opposition was overwhelming, and the fight grew increasingly fierce. Unaware of your presence, Chuuya fought valiantly for survival.

As the enemy closed in, you realized you had to get Chuuya to safety. Lifting him up, you began to carry him away, but the enemy was relentless. Surrounded on all sides, your situation became dire.

With no other option, you summoned your ability, unleashing a powerful wave of energy that pushed back their attackers. Running toward safety, Chuuya's grip on consciousness continued to slip. You, determined to save him, used all your strength to carry him towards the Port Mafia headquarters.

-

Finally, they arrived at their destination, and you handed Chuuya over to the medical team. Anxious, you watched as they worked tirelessly to save his life, utilizing their expertise to treat his severe injuries.

As you waited, your mind raced with worry and fear. Chuuya had never appeared so badly hurt, intensifying your concern for his life.

Sitting by Chuuya's side, you waited for him to wake up. Watching him sleep, you realized the depth of your feelings for him. It became clear that you couldn't conceal your emotions any longer. Even if he were to reject you, that was okay; expressing your most genuine feelings to the person you love was more important. Letting Chuuya know how you felt was more than enough for you.

Chuuya slowly opened his eyes, groaning in pain as he attempted to sit up. He winced, feeling the throbbing ache in his body. Surveying the room, he realized he was in a hospital at the Port Mafia headquarters. Memories of the mission flooded back, recalling how he was on the brink of death before someone saved him.

His eyes widened in shock as he noticed the sleeping figure by his bedside. Lost in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed your injuries before. Staring at you, he did a double take to confirm that it was indeed you lying there.

You appeared peaceful in your sleep, but the bruises on your face and the bandages on your hands served as stark reminders of the danger you both faced. Guilt washed over Chuuya. He never liked seeing you hurt like this.

Continuing to gaze at you, a mix of emotions overwhelmed him. Gratitude for saving his life, worry for your injuries, and an indescribable feeling. Though aware of your skill as a fighter, seeing you injured highlighted your vulnerability.

Chuuya's eyes flickered to your face, and he couldn't resist reaching out to brush a strand of hair away from your forehead. His fingers lingered on your soft skin, and he let out a small sigh.

It had been so long since he had seen you, and he had missed you more than he could express. Yet, with you lying beside him, the reality of your situation and painful memories resurfaced.

A wave of conflicting emotions washed over him. He yearned for you, wanting nothing more than to hold you close and never let go. The thought of what might have been made his heart ache. Fear of change between you and the possibility that you had moved on or didn't feel the same way haunted him.

The fear of rejection and the prospect of getting hurt again made him hesitate. He wasn't sure if he was ready to face the pain of losing you once more.

As he ran his fingers through your hair, a tear slipped down Chuuya's cheek. He quickly wiped it away, not wanting to wake you, but the yearning in his chest lingered.

As you stirred from your sleep, Chuuya was already wide awake, watching you with a mix of surprise and confusion. Lost in thought, he heard your movements and observed as you quickly sat up, scanning the room before your eyes eventually landed on him.

"Chuuya!" you exclaimed, relief and concern evident in your voice. "Are you okay? How do you feel?"

Taken aback by your sudden shift in demeanor, from deep sleep to frantic concern for his well-being, Chuuya cleared his throat before responding.

"I'm fine, Y/N," he said, his voice a bit raspy. "Thanks to you."

Your eyes softened as you looked at him. "I'm glad you're okay," you said, your voice filled with sincerity.

Chuuya felt his heart race at 

the sight of you, the way your eyes searched his face for any signs of pain or discomfort. It had been so long since he had seen you, and he had almost forgotten how much your presence affected him.

"Y/N..." Chuuya started, but the words caught in his throat. He wasn't sure what to say or even how to say it.

You reached out and touched his hand, interrupting his thoughts. "What is it?" you asked, your gaze unwavering.

Chuuya took a deep breath before speaking. "It's just...been a while," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded slowly. "Yeah, it has," you said softly, your eyes downcast.

The palpable silence that followed weighed on them, and Chuuya could feel the burden of their past pressing down. Taking a deep breath, he tried to think of something to say.

"So, how have you been?" he asked, hoping to break the tension.

You looked up at him, and for a moment, Chuuya was lost in your eyes. He could see the pain and sadness there, but he also saw something else—something that gave him hope.

"I've been...okay, I guess," you said, shrugging slightly. "I've been on a few missions, but nothing too exciting."

Chuuya nodded, grateful for the small talk. He knew that they needed to address their past, but he also knew that they needed to ease into it.

"And...how about you?" you asked, a small smile playing at the corners of your lips.

Chuuya felt warmth spread through him at your question. He had been so focused on you that he had forgotten about himself.

"I've been busy," he said with a chuckle. "Work's been crazy, as usual. But I can't complain."

You nodded, and the two of you fell into an awkward silence once more.

"I saw Dazai a few days ago," you suddenly said, breaking the silence. Chuuya tensed up at your words, but tried to keep his composure.

"Oh?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Yeah," you continued. "I had a talk with him. I gave him a piece of my mind for leaving without a goodbye and how betrayed I felt. I even got angry for your sake."

Chuuya's heart skipped a beat at your last words. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I was angry that he left you too. You deserved a proper goodbye from him," you said, looking at him with a sympathetic expression.

“I see…”

“Yeah.”

You took a deep breath and looked directly at the redhead, "Chuuya, I need to tell you something," you said, your voice shaking.

Chuuya nodded, his expression serious.

"I...I just want to say how sorry I am," you continued, your voice breaking. "I was such a stupid person for wasting your love like that. I didn't deserve it, and I took it for granted. I hurt you so much, and I regret it every single day."

Tears streamed down your face as you spoke, your words filled with genuine remorse. "You didn't deserve any of it–I'm so sorry for hurting you. I know I can never make it up to you, but I just want you to know that I'm truly sorry."

Your sobs grew louder as you spoke, your emotions getting the best of you. Chuuya could see the pain and regret in your eyes, and he felt his heart soften towards you.

He reached out and pulled you into a tight embrace, holding you close as you cried. "Shh, it's okay," he whispered, rubbing your back gently. "I forgive you, Y/N. I forgave you a long time ago."

Silence enveloped the room as your sobs gradually subsided. Chuuya's heart ached witnessing your tears, yet a glimmer of relief surfaced. Finally, the weight of unspoken thoughts was being addressed.

"Hey now, don't cry like a baby," Chuuya teased, attempting to lighten the mood. "Your face is as red as a tomato." He chuckled at your muttered response of "Shut up."

Oh, how he missed you.

As your sobs quieted, Chuuya continued to hold you, reluctant to let go. "It's okay," he whispered, his voice a soothing balm. "I'm here for you."

You looked up at him, your eyes still watery. "Do you really forgive me?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Chuuya nodded. "Of course I do," he replied, his gaze softening. "We're okay."

Your eyes widened in surprise and relief, a small smile breaking through. "Thank you, Chuuya," you said, your voice cracking. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm grateful for it."

Before he could stop himself, Chuuya leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "You don't have to deserve it," he murmured. "I'm giving it to you anyway."

You wiped away your tears, took a deep breath, and locked eyes with Chuuya. "I need to tell you something," you said, your voice hoarse from crying. "When I talked to Dazai, I realized something—something that I had been too blind to see before."

Chuuya's expression softened, and he reached out to take your hand. "What did you realize?" he asked gently.

"I realized that I love you, Chuuya," you declared, your voice filled with passion. "I love you more than anything in this world. But I was just too blind to see it, and I can't keep denying it anymore. I need you in my life, and I want to be with you."

Your confession left Chuuya in a state of disbelief. For so long, he poured his heart out to win your love, enduring the pain of your partial reciprocation and the near-fatal heartbreak caused by Dazai's presence. Now, you finally admitted your love for him.

Chuuya couldn't help but chuckle at your confession. "Took you long enough," he teased, a smile spreading across his face. "I mean, I'm way more attractive and charming than that idiot Dazai."

You pouted but later chuckled, your face flushed with happiness. "I know, I know," you replied, still wrapped up in his arms. "Better late than never, I guess?"

Chuuya scoffed playfully, "When you put it that way," he mumbled, his voice filled with mirth.

After a moment of silence, Chuuya gently took your hand in his and looked into your eyes. "Y/N," he said, his voice steady and sincere. "I need to hear you say it. I need to hear you tell me that you love me with all your heart. Can you say it again for me, please?"

You smiled softly and leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips. "Chuuya," you said, your voice soft and affectionate. "I love you. I've loved you for so long, but I didn't realize it until now. You're the one I want to be with and the one I want to share my life with. I love you more than anything."

Chuuya felt his heart swell with love and happiness as he looked into your eyes. "I love you too, Y/N," he said, his voice filled with emotion. "I always have, and I always will." You leaned in for another kiss, your love for each other filling the room.

As you lay in the hospital bed together, Chuuya and you exchanged soft whispers and gentle caresses. You had been through so much, but finally, you were together, your love stronger than ever before.

Looking at Chuuya, you couldn't help but feel a sense of peace and contentment wash over you. For the first time in your life, you knew you had found your true soulmate, the one person who completed you in every way.

And as you shared one last kiss before drifting off to sleep, you knew that no matter what the future held, you would face it together, your love as unbreakable as the bond that held you together.

-

Last part: Evermore in Your Arms

[luckbealincoln]

Best Kept Secret

chapter nine : shuk'la rules

THIS SERIES HAS BEEN MOVED AND RE-UPLOADED TO ANOTHER ACCOUNT. WHICH CAN BE FOUND HERE. THIS POST STILL EXISTS AS AN ARCHIVE BUT THIS ACCOUNT IS NO LONGER ACTIVE!!

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 5.6k

summary : you spend some time in the library with the mandalorian

warnings, etc. : language, p in v sex, fingering, sort of a glove kink situation that is not verbally expressed but is def there, slapping, def like dom/sub vibes but also not spoken on, sort of a dumbification situation, degradation and also praise

You need sex.

Normally you would be satisfied for quite some time after getting off but for some reason with Mando it was different. But it’s only been two days and you need more. 

Instead of taming the beast it’s like he let it out of its cage and now it’s running rampant. 

But you had to have your stupid rules.

Maybe you could just get rid of the second one. 

You pick up the book, flipping to the back cover, staring at those damned words.

This is Purely Stress Relief. 

What an idiot, in your stupid quest to make sure things stayed casual you were somehow denying yourself casual sex. Maybe you could just fake stress, or start a fight with him. No, he’d see right through that. You’re in a genuinely good mood after yesterday, you’ve got no reason to start shit with him.

But you need sex. 

And he’s sooo good at it. Annoyingly so. 

And you can’t just ask for it, because he’ll tease you about it. (Which probably wouldn’t be all that bad now that you think of it.) But you need him, terribly. You’re lying here in your closet bed, doing everything in your power to will away the ache between your thighs because you don’t have the time to deal with it yourself, Elaine and Lysa will be here at any minute. So you stuff your face in a pillow, and let yourself have a good long groan as you hear your bedroom doors open outside the closet. 

The closet doors fly open and Elaine steps in, grinning down at you. 

“Good morning ma’am, is everything alright? You’re normally awake by now, you must have had a long day yesterday.” She’s raising an eyebrow as you groan again. Bringing another pillow up to smash against your face. 

“I’m fine. Just tired.” You mumble into the cushion. She reaches down to tear the pillow from your hands, picking you up under your arms and lifting you to your feet. “Maker, you’re strong…” 

“I have to be to take care of you ma’am. Now, up. Time to dress.” She steps out and you follow her to the mirror as Lysa goes to find you a dress. 

“Something green.” You yell over your shoulder, maybe he’ll fuck you if you wear another green dress. Gods, you hope so. 

Okay, pull yourself together. You can’t be acting like this around him, he’ll use it to his advantage and you can’t let him get the upper hand on you, not when you’re in this state. Who knows what you’ll do or say to get him to touch you. 

    You zone out as they go through the usual routine of dressing you, the jade dress hugging your torso making you smile, maybe this will work. Once you’re all done up you take Elaine’s hand in yours.

“Thank you… seriously, you’re a miracle worker. You and Lysa have taken such good care of me.” You give her a warm smile and you're taken aback by the way she squints at you before returning the smile. 

“Thank you ma’am.”

That’s all she says as she steps back, looking you over once before nodding and taking Lysa’s hand before leaving. 

Weird.

You put it aside in your mind though because when they open the door you catch a glint of silver. You need to think fast, how are you going to seduce him? Gods, you're pathetic. Whatever. Just get out there, maybe actually seeing him will make this easier, the moment he starts being a jackass you’ll be able to resist him.

✩

It doesn’t work. 

He’s nice today. Uncharacteristically so, it’s actually off-putting. He had greeted you with a compliment on your dress, had walked you to the library with no complaints, no teasing, and no resistance. And had so kindly handed you the book you’d left off on last time, he had even opened it to the page you’d left off on before he sat across from the nook and opened his own book. 

What’s his angle here? You’re having a hard time focusing on your reading because now you’ve got to figure out what he’s plotting. 

Stern, protective, annoying, persistent, nice? The Mandalorian is a lot of things but he isn’t necessarily nice. 

He isn’t cruel by any means but it’s off putting to have him acting like this. Sadly it doesn’t make him any less attractive to you at this moment because you’re still imagining all the different ways you could lure him back to your chambers. Your thoughts are interrupted by the low hum of static that always comes before he speaks. 

“You seem distracted.” When you look up the helmet is staring at you and his book is closed. Kriff. 

“Nothing, just a little…” 

Horny?

“Bored.” 

“Mmm. Want to play that game? Might help alleviate some of the boredom?” He sets his book aside as he leans forward, elbows resting on his knees. You’re about to blow him off with some lame excuse so you can keep plotting on how to bed him but you’re struck with an idea. 

“Sure. What does the winner get?” 

“Is there anything in particular you want?” Predictable, you knew he wouldn’t pick one himself.

“Hmm… how about the winner gets to break one of the rules?” He leans back in the chair as he’s seemingly considering the offer.

“Which rule did you have in mind?” 

“None of the important ones, just the second one. The stress relief one. Winner gets to break it once, at a time of their choosing.” He doesn’t need to know that you plan on cashing it in immediately when you win.

“Sounds fair enough, same rules as last time? Pass three times and you lose?” There’s a much stronger hint of amusement in his voice this time around and suddenly you’re nervous he might actually try to win. “You can go first again if you’d like.” 

Might as well start with an almost guaranteed pass. 

“Last time we played you said you needed the credits from this job, why?” 

You sit and try to hold back a smug smile as you wait to hear his response but it never comes. He just sits there thinking. 

“And you can’t lie.” You eventually add, in case he was trying to come up with an answer. 

“I need a ship. I know someone on a different planet that I’d like to go see.” He says each word slowly and carefully like he’s trying to phrase it a certain way. It makes you furrow your brow. You don’t have time to ponder it for long though because he’s already moving on. “What did you buy from that woman yesterday?” Shit, you had wanted that to be a surprise for him. You could always just use a pass on this, you’d still have two more, you aren’t really all that private he’s just managed to pick out a very specific thing you don’t want to answer. 

“Pass. Did you eat the food I gave you?” You should probably be focusing on more hard hitting questions if you want to win but you are genuinely curious.

“Yes. I had half last night and half this morning.” He sounds almost sheepish when he says it, like he’s admitting defeat. You want to laugh but you’re worried if you do he won’t take food in the future. “Why do you wear those horrific dresses on the fifth day of each week?” 

Jerk. 

He is right though, they are horrific. And it’s a huge relief that he’s seemingly done putting on the creepy over the top polite act he had going on. 

“Blue is Kodo’s favorite color. They dress me in it on days where I see him.” He lets out a huff at your response. 

“That’s a stupid reason.” 

“Do you often take note of what colors I’m wearing?”

“Is that your question?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes, I do. Especially when it’s green. Did you wear that for me?” He nods at the jade gown you’re currently wearing.

“Is that your question?”

“Yes.” You silently wish he was sitting closer. 

“Yes. Do you like it?” 

“Is that your question?” He sounds like he’s grinning. 

“No. I just want to know.” 

“...Yes.” He takes a moment to just stare at you and that stupid heat is back in the library. “What’s your actual question?”

“Has anyone seen your face before?” You probably shouldn’t ask, it seems way too personal for how the game has been going so far but you’re in this to win it. 

“Yes.” 

Huh. You hadn’t expected an answer. And you definitely hadn’t expected that answer. 

“What do you think I look like?” 

You hadn’t expected that question either. 

“It’s a little arrogant of you to assume I ever think about you in my spare time.”

Or all the time, constantly, and in your dreams. 

“So you’ve never thought about it?”

All the time, constantly, sometimes in your dreams. 

“I have.”

“Then what do you think I look like?” 

Of course you’d thought about it, it’s hard to not wonder what the best sex of your life looks like under his helmet. You didn’t want him to actually take it off of course, you understand how important it is to him but your mind is allowed to wander. And you can’t help but hope that he at least takes it off to use that stupid mouth of his at some point, even if you can’t look. 

“Well… I always assumed brunette, even before getting confirmation. I don’t know, sharp features? Clipped short hair, unruly facial hair? I can never figure out your eyes though, I just can’t picture them.” 

He sits on it for a moment. 

“They’re brown.” 

That suits him. He seems like he would have soft, warm eyes that could turn cold and deadly in an instant. 

“That doesn’t count as my question by the way.” You snap at him, trying to relieve the intimate tension that’s suddenly settled between you. 

“Of course not.”

“How many bounties have you caught?” 

“I don’t keep track.”

“That’s not an answer.” You huff at him as you roll your eyes. 

“Fine.” He takes a moment as he thinks about it before you hear the familiar crackle of the modulator. “All of them.” 

Okay he’s got to be doing that on purpose. That low voice where he acts all serious, you want to call him out for it but it goes straight to your pussy and if you say something somehow he’ll end up finding out so why bother. 

“What’s your favorite color?” He sounds so genuinely interested when he asks you things like this. It breaks your heart every time because no one else ever seemed to care so much.

“I don’t have one.”

“We’re really on a hot streak of not answering the questions princess.” He tilts his head to the side.

“It used to be blue. Now I don’t have one.”

His helmet straightens up and he’s silent for a beat. You have to pray he isn’t giving you a look of pity under there. 

“How about for now it’s green. We can share a favorite color until you get a new one.”

It’s hard to remember that you’re just friends when he says things like that.

You should say no. Say it’s purple now, or orange, or anything else. 

But green is growing on you. 

Why is this dumb game so much more serious this time around? 

“Why is your favorite color green?” Your voice has lost its teasing edge, only sincerity remains. 

He’s silent again. 

“I knew a kid a while back who liked green.”

There’s something new. 

You can’t place the tone he has now.

It’s almost… sad . It makes you want to stand up and walk over to him, take his helmet in your hands and tell him he’s okay. Only for a second though because of course he has to ask a question that completely pulls you from the moment. 

“When did you know you wanted me?”

Presumptuous. Either he really wants to change the subject or he really wants to win. 

He’s leaning forward again and it makes you want to slap the stupid helmet. You decide against it, you’d only end up hurting yourself in that situation. 

“I’m not sure.” You puff out your chest slightly as you say it. 

“So you pass?” 

“No.” Shit, okay, do you even know the answer? “Maybe… the last time we played the game? I’m not sure.” 

“Good enough for me.” It’s annoying how satisfied with himself he sounds. 

“Was I your first time?” You don’t know why you ask it, you’re almost certain you weren’t because he shouldn’t have been that good his first time. Maybe you just want to knock him down a peg. It makes him scoff.

“Was I not up to your standard?” 

“It’s not your turn.” You try to sound indifferent when you say it. 

“Is this really how you want to play this game princess? Because I can make this a lot harder on you if it is.” His voice somehow manages to get lower, Maker, he’s the worst.

“Are you passing?” Is all you say as you straighten up in your little nook. He seems to almost mirror you as he sits up in his chair.

“No. You were not my first.” This time when you don’t bother trying to hide your smug smile at his response, it’s nice to for once feel like you’ve got the upper hand on him.

“Was I the best you’ve ever had?” 

Well it was nice to have the upper hand for fifteen seconds. 

“You know no one wants to ever hear the answer to that question.” 

“I do.” 

Of course you do.

“Pass.” You really shouldn’t but it’s best to not give him the satisfaction of the truth.

“You know that’s basically an answer in itself. I’m willing to let you un-pass this one if you say it.” Gods you’re gonna kill him, after you win and fuck his brains out. Then you’re gonna kill him.

“I said pass.” 

“Okay princess.”

Why is he still so hot? He’s too nice and he’s hot, he’s an over confident dick and he’s hot. He should be studied at this point. You can’t help but ask a question for your own personal imagination of him now that he’s got you all riled up. 

“How old are you?” 

“I’m not sure. I stopped keeping track when I took the creed, somewhere in my late thirties probably.”

“You don’t know your own birthday?” 

“No.”

That shouldn’t make you as sad as it does. You get over it pretty quickly though when he asks his next question. 

“Do you think about me when you touch yourself?”

You could kill him. You didn’t think you’d be back to the point of plotting his untimely death so soon but you could kill him. You could also lie but you have to remind yourself that that would be a hollow win, it would always loom over you. No sense in putting it off. 

“Yes.” Might as well use his own question against him, even if it ends up embarrassing you if he says no. “Do you? Ever think about me?” You would give anything to sound less timid at that moment. 

“Often.”

Maker, is this your punishment for cheating on your husband? The agonizing temptation of the man before you?

“Do you ever think about Kodo?” Oh he’s sick. But right, his tone indicates that he already knows the answer to his question.

“No.” It’s barely above a whisper. “Why were you acting so weird this morning?” You’ve all but given up your little plot at this point, you’re pretty sure you’ll be able to convince him with or without the win at some point later. 

“Weird?” 

“You were being all cordial and polite. It was weird.” You’re still whispering as he scoffs.

“Pass.”

“Oh come on.” You didn’t often beg for a follow up during this game but you were desperate to know, especially if he didn’t want you to know. 

“I’ll tell you if you let me win.”

Hmm. That’s not an easy choice but you’re losing so why not just let him have it, maybe tonight you could try inviting him in again. 

“Fine. You win, now tell me. Why were you acting off?” You cross your arms as you glare at him.

“For the same reason you chose to play the game.”

“What?”

Oh. 

Oh.

He was trying to seduce you.

He’s good. It’s infuriating how good he continues to be at this. He keeps winning at this whole sexual chess game you’ve been playing. You don’t have time to mock him for being so theatrical about this whole thing because he’s standing and in the blink of an eye he’s in front of you, leaning down and grabbing the bottom of your skirt, lifting it up to your seat.

“I win.” His voice is low and husky and it doesn’t even seem like he’s basking in his victory all that much because he’s too busy collecting the layers of your dress and holding them in place up at your hips. You don’t have a lot of time to process what’s going on as one of his hands is gripping your jaw. “Is it okay if I cash in my prize now?” He’s asking for permission and honestly all you can do is dumbly nod as he grabs your hips and roughly pulls you by the waist of your dress so your ass is barely hanging off the edge of the reading nook, one of his hands comes up to your mouth and he’s tapping his pointer and middle finger on your bottom lip. “Open.” 

You should be snippier with him. 

You want to be. You want desperately for him to not be in charge all the time. (Of course you do want him to be in charge some of the time but that’s besides the point.)

And you’re getting what you want so what’s the point of fighting now. You open your mouth and he slides his fingers past your teeth, not far enough to make you gag but enough to fill your mouth with the material. 

Metal, gunpowder, leather. 

It’s not all that unpleasant, especially since he’s slotting himself between your legs now. 

“Bite down.” You furrow your brows but gently bite and he pulls his hand free, keeping his glove between your teeth. “Keep that there, okay sarad? Nod if you understand.” 

What a prick. Talking down to you like that, if it didn’t make you so wet you’d spit his glove back in his face. 

Instead you nod, because afterall you’re only human and you have needs. 

“Good girl.” His condescending tone is infuriating and if you weren’t so horribly turned on by it you’d kick him where it hurts but his ungloved hand is unzipping his flight suit at the crotch so you decide to let this one slide. “Hold your skirt up for me, cyar’ika.” He mutters out as he manages to free his cock from his pants, already standing at attention, fully erect. 

It’s enough to have you tragically drooling at the sight of a man who wants you so badly he needs no time to prepare himself. 

To the best of your ability you grip the edges of your skirt up for him as his still gloved hand reaches under all of the tulle, fishing around for a moment until he finds the hem of your panties, shoving them down to your ankles as you let out a small groan into his glove. His still gloved hand is spreading your thighs as he slowly strokes himself with his other hand, once you’re seemingly exactly how he wants you you can faintly hear a sharp inhale as he takes in the sight of you staring up at him. 

“Cyare…” He mumbles as he switches his hands, bringing his bare hand between your legs. 

You shouldn’t whine the way you do. You wish you could have held it back but you’re already a mess just in anticipation of him and you just pray to the gods that the glove muffles the majority of it. Of course it doesn’t. Because he lets out a gravely laugh. 

“What’s wrong sarad?” His tone is not unkind but it is sarcastic as you feel his fingernails lightly scraping at your inner thigh. You can nearly see his confused look through the Beskar as he takes a moment to contemplate before he brings his gloved hand back between your legs as you nod pathetically. “Is this what you wanted? I thought you thought my gloves were stupid princess?” 

The tough leather on his fingertips is ever so slightly dragging through your seam as you let your head fall back. He hums in approval as he brings his bare hand back to his cock, jerking himself off gradually as he sinks a finger into your dripping cunt. 

No sense in maintaining any of your pride because the sensation forces an obscene groan out of you, accompanied by the lewd squelching sound as he withdrawals the single digit before sliding it back in. 

His fingers had already filled you so exquisitely, with the added thickness of the gloves you were pretty sure you died and went to heaven. He doesn’t wait long before he adds a second finger and honestly you’re pretty sure you can’t physically take a third as he slams them in and out of you brutally, he doesn’t give you anytime to catch your breath as he pulls them out almost entirely before sliding them home, down to the knuckle. 

You’re not sure where to look, there’s a lot going on right now and yes you had wanted this terribly but you didn’t think he’d give it to you so suddenly and you’re feeling a lot of things right now. 

You settle your eyes on his length. That perfect pretty cock of his. He’s matching the rhythm of his strokes to the rhythm of his other hand. Maker, you don’t deserve the show he’s putting on for you as he lets out quiet grunts, staring down at you. You let out a particularly loud whine as you feel his fingers curl ever so slightly.

“I love those pretty little noises you make but you have to be quiet mesh’la.” His hand briefly comes up to your mouth to shove more of the glove past your teeth as you whine softly. “If you can’t be quiet I’ll have to stop, do you understand?” 

He pulls his fingers from you, wiping his glove on the inside of your dress as you let out a small cry at the loss of contact, it makes him click his tongue. 

“Be a good girl okay? I know this is what you wanted, is that why you wore this? So I’d fuck you like the slut you are? All you had to do was ask, I don’t care all that much about your rules. But we can’t have anyone walking in so I need you to quiet down.” He’s lining the weeping pink tip of his cock up at your entrance so you swallow the moan threatening to burst from your throat.

You still aren’t used to how talkative he is during sex. Sure he talks to you but never like this. Most of the time he only ever says what he needs to to get under your skin and then he’s done. But when you’re like this, it’s like he can’t stop the words that fall past the modulator. 

He’s slower this time. The first time, he had fucked you like he would never get a chance to touch you again. Animalistic and mercilessly. Now it’s like he’s taking the time to savor you entirely. 

You want to spit the glove out and beg him to just fuck you without caution but you’re certain he would just go slower if you did that. Or worse, stop entirely. So you bite down on the glove and grit your teeth as he continues at his agonizingly slow pace, lazily shoving himself into your tight hole, inch by inch. He takes his time, dragging it out, he’s barely halfway in and he’s panting, his hand squeezing the still fresh bruises under your dress. 

Before you can stop him he starts pulling out again, you’re unable to fend off the meek whine that happens as he starts shallowly slow fucking you, never pushing himself more than a few inches in. It’s got you thrashing as he pins you down in place, your cunt milking the head of his cock. Your hands abandoning your skirt to hold onto his forearms for support .

His gloved hand came down with a smack on your inner thigh that has you keening as he starts massaging the red mark, spreading your legs a little wider. His thumb began rubbing rough circles against your clit. Just fast enough to make you squirm but not fast enough to push you over the edge. You can tell by the hoarse laughter that comes between his grunts that he’s doing this on purpose. Not fucking you deep enough to hit the spot that he know’s you’re hopelessly trying to push it against.

“Man-ooh” You spit out past the glove. You point your toes to try and get some traction on the ground. Struggling to drive him deeper into you, he responds with a harsh slap to your clit that has you jolting backwards against the window. 

“Ah ah, I thought I told you to be good. Good girls stay quiet.” He pushes his thumb down against your bud, applying pressure but holding it torturously still. 

“Pleath-” Is all you can manage to mumble out past the leather, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, as you try to writhe under his grip, anything to get him deeper inside you but he holds you in place as he impales you on his length.

“Please? Good girls don’t beg until they’re told to sarad.” He rocks his hips forward as he continues to mock you. 

It’s a real shame he knows how to work you up so easily. You’d love to slap that stupid tone out of his voice and tell him to fuck you proper but there’s something about the pure domination that he exudes the moment he decides he wants you. It’s intoxicating. You’re drunk on him when he gets like this, the primal needs to submit to him in the moment is overwhelming. He delivers another slap to your clit to get your attention that has you letting out a muffled yelp.

“Are you paying attention, mesh’la?” His voice is so low and condescending and it makes you tighten around him earning you a growl from the Mandalorian. “You like it when I treat you like this huh?” He gives you another snap of his hips, just enough to kiss that spot with his cockhead. 

You can feel a moan bubbling in your throat but bite it back, trying to stay silent, opting for a nod instead. 

“Good girl. Now say you’re sorry princess.” One of his hands is splayed out on your thigh, holding you spread open for him as the other hungrily gropes at your chest over your bodice. 

You close your eyes as your head leans back to avoid letting him see the crimson that is creeping up your face. You’ve come this far, why draw the line here.

“Thowwy” You should probably feel more shame. You’re the princess of a very important planet yet you’re here, in the library, being fucked sensless by a man who is notably not your husband, mumbling apologies through a gag. It’s easy to forget all that though because your pathetic sorry earns you a patronizing pat on the head, which subsequently results in a rush of heat between your legs. 

You might be a bad person for getting off on this.

Maybe think about that later, right now you’re too busy servicing the bodyguard your husband hired. 

“See, that’s better.” He brings his thumb up to swipe at your bottom lip, taking in the beads of drool before bringing it back to your clit. “Good girls get rewarded.” He snaps his hips forward, pushing just a little deeper. Finally letting the blunt head of his cock rest against that sensitive spot inside of you. 

It’s like he knows your body better than you do. It’s a little aggravating but it’s hard to be mad when he starts deliberately slamming himself against that spot. Matching his ministrations on your clit to his thrusts which has your entire body tensing as that wire in your core threatens to snap.  

You have autonomy. And he’s just a self-righteous asshole who is devastatingly good at sex. He likes to remind you of the fact that you don’t technically have the authority to dismiss him but you’re pretty sure you’re still his boss.

So why are you staring up at him now with pleading eyes as he fucks you, your eyes darting between him and the leather sticking out from your lips. You could spit it out, but instead you wait until his thrusts slow ever so slightly as he pulls the now soaked glove from your mouth, a line of drool going from it to your lips. 

“What is it, copikla?” He says it so derisively that you don’t need a translation to tell you he’s teasing you. 

Okay.

Normally you wouldn’t do this. Not unless a guy explicitly asked for it and it was your only option. But you know that if you ask for permission he’ll probably just let you and you woke up pent up and then there was all the teasing and the heat is going to your head so you can’t stop the babbles that spill from your lips. 

“Can I cum Mando? Please let me cum I’m so close please.” Hearing yourself say those words is a little humiliating, (for an unrelated reason you’re sure you get wetter as you say them) but it seems to work because he picks up his pace as he plunges himself into you. There’s no hesitation as you plead with him.

“Elek olaror sarad’ika. Cum for me.” His voice is a low growl as he holds your hips, pulling you down against him to push himself deeper into you as his thumb rolls over your clit just so. Everything combined with the Mando’a he seemingly can’t stop speaking has your eyes rolling back as you feel your walls clamping down on him, strangling his cock as you climax, your vision going a sharp white for a moment, his hand comes up just fast enough to muffle the cry that escapes your throat. Simultaneously he slips out of you, shooting his load onto your swollen soaked pussy.

You’re both just panting for a moment as you come down from your respective orgasms. He recovers first as he shoves himself back into his pants before kneeling down in front of you, pulling your panties up, keeping his cum on your skin. 

It’s filthy. The thought of spending the rest of the day with his seed between your legs is hot enough to hopefully keep you satisfied for a few more days than last time. 

Your head is still tilted back, resting against the window as your chest heaves. You barely even register the hiss of air, or the gentle kiss that’s placed against your inner thigh. 

Soft. His lips are soft, not chapped like you’d thought they’d be, with just a little bit of stubble. 

By the time you look down at him his helmet is back in place and you aren’t even sure it really happened. He straightens the layers on your skirt and stands up, his still ungloved hand brushes your hair back as he caresses your face.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” He’s back to that soft tone he uses only for you and you scowl at him.

“You’re mean during sex.” 

It’s nice to hear him laugh in earnest. He tucks a loose strand behind your ear.

“I think you like it.”

“Maybe.”

“Can I get you anything princess?” There it is again. That tone where he makes it sound like an endearment.

You don’t really need anything but you do have something you need to do so you give him a distraction.

“Could I convince you to get me some water?” 

“There isn’t a lot you couldn’t convince me of.” 

It’s things like that that make it hard to remember this is a platonic arrangement. But he’s already walking to the door so you rush to find some stationary and you write out everything you need before stepping out into the hall. No sign of Mando so you whisper-yell Leodall’s name. It’s like he appears out of thin air, you should figure out how he does that at some point if you’re gonna keep having secret sexual relations. That isn’t your mission right now though so you hand him the paper and dismiss him before hurrying back into the library. Patiently awaiting Mando’s return. 

As you sit back in the nook you rest your head on the adjacent book shelf. 

Two days. 

You’ve had your rules for two days. So far you’ve broken a rule every day you’ve had them. 

Everyone makes mistakes.

You just won’t break any more rules from this point forward. 

“…All you had to do was ask, I don’t care all that much about your rules.”

That’s what he had said.

This is Purely Stress Relief. 

Maybe you can keep breaking one rule. 

[wishing-stones]

On the complete opposite side of that spectrum... what about a reader that's just. A doormat? Like a reader that has a hard time saying no and takes the guys' bullshit without advocating for themselves

Killer takes advantage of this for small things, but if he's joking around and you just... roll over and do what he said as a joke, he's gonna start to notice something's wrong. "Wait, no, I was kidding," and, "Hold on I didn't mean that." He kind of casually advocates for you to start standing up for yourself a little more-- no one's gonna be mad at you for it. Get a little backbone-- these guys have plenty to spare.

Dust doesn't really understand why you just... do things when he says and eat all of his comments without defending yourself. He's being an ass, he knows he's being an ass, how can you just... stand there and take it? Any one of the others would have taken a swing at him by now. It's kind of concerning, actually, and it only gets worse over time. He'll start prompting you eventually, "no, don't just say 'okay' and take it, tell him how you really feel, don't hold back. he can take it."

Axe is worried. He's the least outwardly antagonistic of everyone and doesn't maliciously poke fun of anyone. He notices when the others do it and you don't do anything, though. Are you okay? Did they say something to you that made you not want to fight back? Seriously, you can bite back a little and they'll take it, especially if they're being enormous dicks. If you don't stand up for yourself, he will. He'll also try to get you to do it on your own by prompting you, but if he feels the need to step in and take the reins, he will.

Cross gets a little assholish and cold, but he doesn't want to actually hurt anyone with it. You don't ever say anything in response, which... he doesn't like, really. Something bad must've happened to you for you to respond like that, so after the fourth or so time he kind of... stops being a jackass. He's a subtle advocate for you to stand up for yourself. "What, are you just gonna let him get away with that?" "He's wrong and you know it." "One of these days you should put him in his place." He'll actively stand up for you, too, but he's kind of hoping you pick up the queues sooner rather than later.

Baggs figures this out after the first time his needling nets him... no adverse reaction. He fully expects someone to snap back at him if he's being a little shit, so when you don't... that leads to many more questions. Do you let everyone get away with that? Why don't you speak up for yourself? Is avoiding conflict really more important than your own dignity? He's going to get to the root of this, and the more it goes on... the more he gets personally worried. He sets up plenty of therapy appointments to help you practice saying 'no.' You'll get there eventually.

Nightmare loves this at first. He's so used to everyone giving him shit that having someone say 'how high' when he says 'jump' without question is a breath of fresh air. However... as time goes on, he begins to see the pattern. You don't say no. You don't fight back. You let everyone get away with everything. Something here isn't right. He frames his concern as 'checking in with his newest' to try and figure out why that is. You need to learn to advocate for yourself, or you're going to wind up in a lot of trouble. He doesn't want anyone to take advantage of you, and cautions that generosity and heedless service can land you in a lot of hot water. You need to learn to defend yourself, and defending yourself from your colleagues is a great place to start. Tell Killer no-- the worst he'll do is pout. You'll be fine.

[moonlit-horrors]

The way you write HABIT is everything… <3

Could you write something about HABIT and the reader living together domestically? Maybe reader having to obey and act like they love HABIT so it doesn’t yknow.. kill them. Reader might actually start to enjoy HABITs presence after a while and stuff. (Basically Stockholm syndrome-) idk like domestic fluff with a touch of angst

Idk I’m sorry if this ask doesn’t make any sense 😭

⊹ฺ Requested by a lovely Anon! ♡

⊹ฺ Characters: HABIT (EverymanHYBRID)

⊹ฺ Contains: GN! Reader; Mentions of death (not descriptive); HABIT is his own warning ♡; Use of "bunny" as a pet name; The usual Predator/Prey dynamic; A forehead kiss; Allusions to something like Stockholm Syndrome; SFW

⊹ฺ Note: I'm so sorry for the wait!! I really hope you enjoy this and I'm sorry if I'm a little rusty! Thank you for the request! <3

—

Your eyes lazily stare at the being across the room.

HABIT is leaned against a table, both of his palms laying flat against its surface. You don't know what's going through his head and you aren't sure if you want to know. With HABIT, it could be anything, and more often than not, whatever was going on in his mind wasn't good. Your stomach twists slightly at the thought.

"Hey, bunny." HABIT's voice is sharp and commanding. His eyes don't leave the tabletop, but you feel as though his gaze is burning into you. "C'mere."

You're immediately on your feet and walking away from the couch you were curled up on. Your nerves scream at you to stop moving or to run the other way, but you continue to take quick steps to the demon. You stop at the other side of the table and know that you're noticably more tense than you were a moment ago. To make things worse, you know HABIT knows it, too.

HABIT finally looks up from the table, eyeing you up and down with a raised eyebrow. "Why're you so far away?" You quickly fix your mistake, nerves barely settling at the slight gleam of amusement in his eyes. Once you round the table, you offer HABIT a shy smile, looking at his face. You're still too scared to look him in the eyes. You make yourself, though, ignoring the pain that comes with it. The eyes only belong to the body HABIT's in, now. You don't know if Evan's ever coming back.

He finally moves from his position and properly turns to you. You know he can see how tense you are, the inward curl of your shoulders and the way your hands resist balling up at your sides. You're scared of him and he knows it. He lives for it. HABIT knows how much something as simple as his presence hurts you; he's tortured and killed your friends, has tortured you, yet he can still see the slight hint of softness in your eyes. His favorite activity is taking advantage of that part of you.

His smirk broadens and you flinch. One of his hands slowly raises at your side, barely skimming your arm. You can't help the shiver that runs through your body. HABIT's hand goes from your side to your torso, continuing to move upward until his fingers made contact with the leather collar around your neck, squeezing the material in his fist. Your eyes widen and your throat suddenly feels tight.

You had forgotten that the collar was even there. Ever since HABIT had fully taken over Evan's body after being summoned, it had been around your neck, tight as ever. It hasn't come off since HABIT put it on you and the only time it ever even moved was when HABIT decided to use it as a leash or the few times you had tried to pull it off. None of those attempts had ended well, and even if it was just in your head, you would have swore that it got tighter each time you tried removing it. Each tug at the fastener in the back did nothing for you.

HABIT pulls you closer to him and you realize just how much has become normal to you in regard to him. You wouldn't say you'd become comfortable around him, you weren't sure HABIT would let you be if it were a possibility. Despite the fear and unease he pulled from you, however, you also somehow felt safe. It was like you knew deep down that you were too fun for him to just throw away. You were sure things wouldn't stay like that between you forever, but for the moment you would let yourself toy with the idea of being safe with him. Being safe enough to keep from dying was enough.

"Aww, bunny," he coos, a chuckle rumbling through his chest. "There's no need to flinch. You know I won't hurt ya." You look down instinctively at his hand around your collar before looking up at him. Your eyebrows are raised in a disbelieving manner, but not in a way that would make him angry. You managed to somehow keep the look lighthearted. The look must have been soft enough, because before you knew it, he laughed, giving you a loud and uncharacteristic kiss on your forehead.

You hate to admit it, but you love HABIT's soft moments. They're incredibly rare, but when they happen, you always take advantage of them. Even though there was no reason for it to happen, HABIT's softer moments felt natural to you. It was almost as if the two of you hadn't thought about killing each other, or as though he hadn't killed your loved ones and possessed your favorite person. Moments like this made you feel warm and like you weren't in danger. You hated how it made you feel, but it was a welcome escape. Almost like a necessary evil.

"Oh, come on, bunny. Don't look at me like that." HABIT teases, unwrapping his fingers from your collar and moving them to rest against your throat. "It makes me want to hurt you."

[guardian5tiger3]

Career/ money read 💚💲💲💛

1. 2. 3.

Option one.

Some is supporting you in some type of way if nobody else is one specific spirit. A lot of you need to work on communication and possibly open yourself up more. Money may not be coming in how you want it to because you actually are being too protective of your money in some way so you have to open up your mentality and things for it to flow better. You get what you give you know. I see you guys having nothing to worry about actually except for a scarcity mindset. Be more giving to the right people and if you do that and feel like you're being taken advantage of when it isn't logically the case then that is something to work on, thinking about how you view community.

You don't have to give every last penny but you should work on finding a balance.

If you guys are good on all of these things then this means you're being complimented and about to receive what you've given out back to you .⚖️

Option two.

You either feel like your work place or when applying for work or whatever it may be you have to appear as well off mentally as you can , or the place itself is like that and it doesn't fully match your energy. Spirit wants you to know you can be yourself for better or for worse and be brave. Other people are accepting of you at this time and spirit wants you to be more like real and genuine. Just please don't be rude or mean to anybody or anything. You're allowed to just show up and do the requirements for your job. Set boundaries with people you work with if you have to. This might create an imbalance where you feel worse than you would otherwise when you get off. I got the king and queen of swords. Ask other people for help and support. There is nothing wrong with that. Some of you are scared about money right now. Spirit wants you to look ahead, not down. You are going places and you are not as stagnant as some of you feel like you are. I feel for you guys you wouldn't be making a penny in your life without the support of spirit so you might as well trust them and take the path that best suits you and your needs. Someone here needs to eat more sandwiches I don't know. a balanced diet will make you feel physically better and give you guys more pep to your step.

Spirit is supporting you guys watching movies in the dark and chilling comfy if y'all do that ha. But they also want y'all to balance that with some more refreshing opposite like activities to that and I'm really seeing chilling outside and Im cringing like maybe some of you don't like doing that I get it but maybe just do it with another goal in mind like let me get a coffee at this cafe with seats outside or go to a dog park and look at all the cute puppies. If you don't feel up to all that they are so stressing you guys need to eat a more balanced diet and experiment with which foods make you feel the best someone likes blts. I love blts you best make one !! ☮️💗

Option 3.

A lot of you are in an education program, learning for yourself, or y'all want to do something in terms of education. If you're thinking about it , this is your confirmation you're on the right track.

I keep getting the death card so whatever you guys keep looking back on it just wasn't right for you and some of you know that but not many of you know to what extent it did not serve you. And staying in the energy your growth would be forever stunted.

Speaking of that whatever place you guys are in now it's time for you guys to grow I heard broadening your horizons so yes definitely look to the future optimistically.

If the vibes aren't there when you try that then you need to think about the future in terms of what do you want and cater to yourself and how you feel, operate, want, and need.

I heard sunshine and then I shit you not the sun card came out. So yeah you guys really need to release any old ideas you may have about how things should be and really just look at your life as your own and know that you can and really should live it to your liking. A lot of you this is gonna take some self reflection and going within. For some it even is gonna take some healing really and truly but is it worth not doing that or waiting to long and living your whole life not being as content as you can be?

It's time to stop hiding from yourself and letting things that aren't from your soul boss you around . You guys need to remember you are strong and I just feel like you guys need to think about stuff a lot. You got this dudes.

👍🏼☮️💗 good luck everyone and peace out.

[spaceless-vacuum]

Question? How would a Yan!Link handle having a Darling who not only chose him willingly but actively smothers him back? Not to the degree of a Yandere but rather if he comes home injured or gets hurt and they're traveling together he finds himself in mandatory bed rest unless they deem it light enough an injury? He has a cold and gets dragged in the house and shoved into bed while they go make soup. They refuse to let him do anything for them while hurt and are totally not against using cuddles as an option to keep him down. Will capitalize on his Yandere tendencies. Aware of those tendencies and tries not to upset him but also knows how to use them to their advantage?

Or how about this? Actively chasing others off by making it known he's taken? He won't have to pull his Darling into his lap if they make themselves comfortable there first. His Darling is completely down with owning up to the fact that they have one of the most dangerous people in Hyrule willing to do absolutely anything for them and he's so sweet and gentle for them and good looking to boot.

Most pleased Yandere ever I'd imagine.

....bonus? They spend their free time trying to fluster him somehow. How easy is it? Does it work? Who knows.

Oooh I think this is so much fun and would go differently with the different heroes. I've decided to use this as an opportunity to write for the lu au. hope you don't mind!

.

Sky would absolutely adore this and would take it as a chance to gain more cuddles from you. He is already very big on spending a lazy day together with you (assuming all of his work is done) and the idea of receiving more love and attention is one that makes his heart skip a beat with joy. His idea of a relaxing summer day is taking it easy or flying around Skyloft. Two things he can do if wounded or with a cold.

Even if you do try to coax him to stay inside all day he needs a walk for fresh air and it can't be helped. The man doesn't like to be cooped up all the time and will carry you out the door with him if he needs to. As long as you're with him he's as buzzed as a bee. 

The action of you putting yourself into his lap before he does makes him blush so badly. Public displays of affection in front of others, especially when he knows you're doing it to claim him gets him in his feelings. He's practically kicking his legs but to do so might kick you off of his lap which he won't do.

The fact that you want others to know you love him makes his heart skip a beat. There's no way anyone is going to lay a hand on you after that. He has a way of making sure that everyone knows you're taken with just a look and with the fact you're always hanging off of his arm he doesn't have to do too much. Which is fine by him. Less work for him means more time to spend by your side. It's easy to forget he has a darker side sometimes as he's just so sweet and carefree until pushed in the right (or wrong) direction.

Even if he finds out or just knows about how you're ‘using’ him, Sky doesn't care. In his mind it isn't an issue at all because he isn't being used if he's ok with it and you both enjoy the outcome. It's rare to find him getting upset at your cute demeanor but sometimes he does have a rare moment where it all slips and he feels like he needs to take a ride.

It’s really, and I mean really easy to get Sky flustered. Any form of public affection where others can see it and are actively looking makes him blush so hard. He doesn't get embarrassed often but he does have friends who like to tease and poke fun. Word gets around in villages quickly (especially about the hero) and you being called Link’s is something he never gets used to. It makes him feel like he's on cloud nine when he overhears the talk on the town. As long as no one says anything bad about his partner.

[xomakara]

The Highlights of Romance

THoR Chap. Masterlist | Previous | Next

Chapter length - 1,867 words

Chapter 004 - Moments That Lead To...

"Yes...right there..." A soft groan escaped your lips.

"Right here?" He asked you, his voice low and husky.

"God yes! Right there!"

If people were to pass by in the hallways, they would have gotten the wrong impression. With a deep sigh and clearly out of words, you were laying on your back on the sofa, your feet propped on one of your neighbor's laps. Mark looked over at you, his hand caressing one of your calves. He watched as your chest rose up and down, as if you were trying to catch your breath.

"Geezes woman," Mark began as his fingers worked their magic to your calf. "What in the world did you do that you ended up with a leg cramp?"

"Johnny made me exercise with him this morning. I haven't worked out in a long time, so my muscles aren't used to it." You covered your eyes with your arm. You then propped yourself up with your elbows. "Why do you guys torture yourself with exercise?"

"To look good and stay healthy?" Mark replied with a question, his eyes darting towards the front door as Renjun made his way in. He gave you a wry smile. 

"So any progress on your novel?" Yangyang asked from the dining table, looking up from his phone.

With a grunt, you sat up on the couch and gave Yangyang a glare. "Kind of? I’ll have more inspiration if Mark just gives in. And where's Johnny?"

"Oh, stop whining, Y/N." Johnny strolled into the living room with what looked like clean clothes on. "Not like you did that much exercising anyway. You kept looking at my chest and feeling up my arms."

"Who told you to work out with no shirt on today?" You threw the pillow at Johnny. "When an attractive half-naked man presents himself in front of someone, who wouldn't take the opportunity to look and feel?"

"Just like when a very attractive woman sits in a man's lap and gives him a boner?" Mark exclaimed from next to you. "Are you saying I should have taken advantage of it?"

"I mean you could have." You shrugged, grabbing his hands so that he could continue massaging your calves. "You're just being jealous because you caught me kissing Yangyang last night."

"Who told you guys to make out at the stairwell?" Renjun asked, shaking his head. "There are people who use the stairs you know."

"I couldn't resist!" You frowned. "It's all his fault for wearing a sleeveless shirt and just looking so good."

“That’s what you said when you pulled Renjun into your apartment the other day!” Mark retorted. “The man came out of your apartment with hickies all over his neck.”

“I know he enjoyed it though.” You winked at Renjun. “Didn’t you Renjunnie?”

“I’m happy to be of service.” Renjun nodded, hair falling into his eyes. “But you know we didn’t do anything but kiss, right?”

You weren't like any other women they came across. The more the men hung out with you, they noticed that you were very outspoken and bold.

And very inappropriate on all sorts of levels.

What woman would openly admit to wanting to sleep with them in a few hours of meeting them?

After your proposition from the other week, you would hang out at every chance you got. If the men weren’t busy with work and classes, they would have taken every chance to spend time with you. Renjun would sneak you into his apartment every now and then to eat lunch and dinner with you. Yangyang would be in your apartment under the guise of helping to proofread your manuscripts and help edit. Mark, despite the awkward tension from that first day, let you hang out at his apartment to play with Bunny. And Johnny would often invite you to the gym.

Today, you decided to reconvene to Renjun’s and Yangyang’s apartment after your exhausting activity at the gym. When you got to their unit, Mark and Yangyang were already there since they needed to talk to Renjun about a party they were invited to. Johnny went to get changed and you flopped on the couch next to Mark. Before you knew it, you were suffering from a leg cramp.

“Mark,” you whined, gaining Mark’s attention. He looked down at you, his eyes filled with concern. “Mark, make this pain go away.”

“Okay, okay.” Mark replied, his fingers continuing to knead and caress your skin. “Feel better?”

"Unbelievable." Renjun shook his head, watching his friend give in to your wants and needs. Renjun wasn't going to admit it, but he did feel a bit jealous of all the attention that Mark was giving you. “She’s got Mark wrapped around her finger.”

“I’m a bit jealous.” Yangyang muttered from the kitchen table, putting his phone down and watching. “Why wasn’t I sitting on the couch? I could have been the one touching her.”

“You’ll get your time, Yangyang.” Johnny chuckled, sitting on the floor in front of you. His back against the cushions, he felt your slender fingers trace circles on his back. “Y/N, if you keep doing that, I’ll take you right here in front of the others.”

“What if that’s what I want, Johnny?” You said, fingers still tracing along his back.

Johnny raised an eyebrow. “Oh? I’m sure our pretty Moonmoon would make lots of beautiful noises…”

“And what noises will you all make?” You asked.

Johnny turned his head to look at you. “I don’t know about the others, but I make noises that will drive you mad with want.”

Mark raised an eyebrow, watching the blatant flirting in front of his eyes. Still massaging your legs, his fingers wandered further up your thigh, almost caressing your hips. “Hey, I’m touching your bare legs here and you want Johnny instead of me?”

You shook your head, sitting up to pout at Mark. You were all too aware that he was touching you in places you wanted to be touched. You cursed all the layers of clothing that blocked their path. “I’ve been wanting you, Mark. Since the first day I met you.”

Mark let out a small sigh of a chuckle before leaning to whisper in your ear. “You’re still saying that stuff? Want me to remedy it?”

Your ears started to turn a shade pink. Biting your lower lip, you let out a small nod. Seeing that this was all the permission he needed, Mark rose from the couch, grabbed your hand, and pulled you softly to the front door.

“Where are you taking her?!” Renjun called out, rising from his seat at the kitchen table.

“Back to her apartment.” Mark responded with mirth. He winked at his friends. “The next time you see her, it won’t be for a few hours.”

“Now what are you planning, Mark Lee?” You asked the man that pulled you out of the college duo’s apartment. With your hand still in his, he pulled you towards your apartment door, asked for the door code and once the door was opened, he ushered you inside. “Mark?”

“Shhh…” Mark hushed you, steering you towards your couch. He sat you down and went straight towards the wall that you shared with the college duo. He pressed his ears against the wall, straining to hear what his friends were saying.

“How the hell is Mark the first one?” Mark heard Renjun mutter. “I thought I was her favorite!”

“I thought I was her favorite.” Yangyang muttered. Even though he couldn’t see him, Mark knew that he was frowning.

“Seems like Mark is her favorite since she stared at him with her sex-craved eyes.” Johnny said. “Seriously, who could resist me?”

“Mark?”

Mark turned to you and gave you a small smile. He gestured to the wall that you shared with the college duo. “Seems like they’re mad that you’ve chosen me instead of them.”

You laughed and patted the seat next to you. “It was always going to be you regardless.”

“Why do you say that?” Mark asked as he sat next to you. “Do you not like the others?”

“It’s not that I don’t like them.” You shrugged. “They’re great guys and I’m attracted to them but…Johnny seems like trouble and I don’t want to distract Renjun and Yangyang from their studies.”

“But you would rather distract me?” Mark frowned.

“You’re different, Mark Lee.” You laid a hand on his arm. “I’ve been drawn to you from the moment you saved me from falling.”

Mark chuckled, a hand coming to run a hand through his hair. “You’re just saying that.”

“No, it’s true.” You gave him a smile. You sighed and laid your head against the back of the couch. “Thank you for saving me, Mark.”

“It’s no problem.” Mark let out a small laugh. He turned to you. “I’m curious about something. Were you always like this? You know, always sexual?”

“In all honesty, I’ve never been this kind of girl. The kind that thinks about sex all the time.” You sighed, your hand coming to cover your eyes. “I guess…it all started when I was trying to break out into the romance genre. It was hard for me to write about love, much less realistic sex scenes.”

Mark gave you a soft look. For the past few days that he’s met you, he’s never met you look so vulnerable, so lost. “How did that change? You became a bestseller with no problem.”

You let out a laugh. “My editor…suggested that I fall in love with someone and sleep with them.”

Mark raised an eyebrow. “And did that work?”

“Sex was easy.” You let out a laugh. You gave him a small smile. “Falling in love? Not so much.”

Mark could tell that your smile wasn’t exactly a smile. Behind that smile, was loneliness and he thought perhaps you only seek sexual intimacy not just for research but because you were craving for love. He let out a sigh, a hand coming to reach for yours. “Hey, I have an idea.”

You looked over to him, feeling his hand holding yours. “Hmm?”

“Why…don’t we go on dates first?” Mark suggested. “I’m sure we’d have great sexual chemistry but I’d like to take you out on dates and stuff.”

“Oh?” You muttered, an eyebrow raised. “And why’s that?”

“Well, you said sex was easy.” Mark gave you a small grin. “You said love was hard but maybe you weren’t looking in the right places.”

“And you’ll think I’ll fall in love with you?”

“A man could always bet on it.” Mark chuckled, his laughter surrounding the area. “You don’t have to fall exactly in love with me. But if somehow you’ve gained some sort of feelings, whether it be friendship, love, or a relationship we can’t put into words, then I’d call it a win in my book.”

You thought about it.

It was true that you’ve never had the greatest experience with love. You’ve had sex plenty of times but maybe one day you’d like to experience what everyone in love goes through.

“What do you say?”

You nodded, a small smile on your lips. “I’d like that, Mark.”

THoR Chap. Masterlist | Previous | Next

[hiddenwashington]

hey friends! it's been so great seeing you all active on the dash and in the chat enjoying the event! with around half a week left in it please remember that any of your characters who have not successfully taken out their target or been freed from the curse will die if that is still the case come wednesday. with that in mind we don't want anyone stuck in that situation due to struggling to get a thread or reply. if you have been struggling on a starter or reply and want to make your murder happen, come late sunday (5/12) we will allow you to skip ahead and simply make the murder happen! what this means is you can reply to yourself on a thread if you're waiting for a reply, or simply make a starter where you skip ahead and have the murder happen immediately. this is a last case scenario should you feel it's absolutely necessary, so please try not to just wrap everything up immediately in this way once the opportunity is available, but do take advantage of it if needed. with that said keep having fun and let us know if you have any questions!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

i had sex for the first time and it was kind of a horrible experience. i was checking out a bdsm club for the first time and a man in his 50s invited me to check out a different (sex) club the next day and bc i genuinely, idiotically thought he just wanted to introduce me to the scene and show me around i went. at the club he bought me a couple drinks, we talked and then he took me to a private room and went down on me. i didnt say no bc i was drunk and curious, and im bad at saying no to people in general. i thought maybe it would be fun. i wasnt into it at all but felt too bad to let him know. i faked an orgasm and left after a while. as we parted he kissed my cheek and said he hopes we can be friends. drunk me told him of course we could. the next morning i was hit with the worst wave of self loathing ive ever felt in my life, as well as just general disgust and regret. i cannot believe my first time was with an old man i feel zero attraction to. i already knew im probably a lesbian, but still i keep trying to be with men and i dont know why. i guess my question is do you have advice on how to get over a sexual experience you regret? how do i come to terms with the fact that my first time was with someone i feel grossed out just thinking about? and was i taken advantage of? im in my early 20s, he didnt know i was a virgin (i active implied that im not), and i know if i had said no he wouldve stopped. i wasnt falling down drunk or anything. he didnt really do anything wrong. i feel so stupid and ashamed of myself. i just wish my first time had been with a woman. i wish i hadnt been so naive and stupid and i wish i hadnt gotten drunk. i know its not true but i feel like no woman will ever want me now. i cant even masturbate bc the idea of doing something sexual, even just alone, reminds me of him and what i let him do to me. how do i move on from this?

hi anon,

I'm deeply sorry that this happened to you.

in this case, I would say the way to make peace with a sexual experience you regret is to understand that you aren't responsible for what was done to you.

to answer your question - yes, you were absolutely taken advantage of, and this person very much did do something wrong! quite a lot of somethings! he made the choice to lure someone younger and less knowledgeable to a secondary location you weren't familiar with, get you drunk, isolate you, and pressure you into sex that you didn't give enthusiastic consent to. all of that is CLASSIC predatory, manipulative behavior and reflects on him - not you.

you mentioned that you feel stupid; PLEASE don't. people are pressured into unpleasant sex all the time, very often in the exact same way you were: being entrapped in a situation where going along with it was easier than saying no. it's vile! and none of those people are at fault!

listen: you need to be on your side about this. would you tell anyone else who experienced this that they're stupid and naive? I hope not. I really hope you can find the compassion you'd extend to any other friend in this situation to yourself, because you're going to be the #1 person getting yourself through this.

feeling bad and gross about what happened is fine; what happened was bad and gross. please let those feelings happen and care for yourself while they do, because those feelings need to be felt! just be conscientious about which feelings you're indulging. it's fine to feel betrayed, violated, regretful, angry, sad, even to mourn for a better first sexual experience you could have had! just make sure to gently nudge yourself back if those feelings start veering into the realm of feeling guilty or responsible for the situation. not only is it unhelpful, it's not even true!

it's very sad that your first sexual experience was with someone you didn't want who treated you the way he did. in the future, when you're ready, I hope you'll be able to pursue healthier, mutually pleasurable experiences on your own terms. don't rush yourself to get back to any kind of sexuality, masturbation included - a good long break while you sort through your feelings may be very needed. there's no timeline you need to be on to recover from this; please don't get down on yourself for taking the time and space you need. if you don't have anyone in person you feel able to talk with, looking up online support and resources for people who have experienced sexual assault may be beneficial.

also, hey, please don't play the game of trying to say you don't belong in survivor spaces or how this wasn't an assault because your belief that he would have stopped if you'd told him to (a very generous assumption!) or because you led him to believe you had more sexual experience or it could have been worse or whatever. the feelings you're experience in the aftermath are textbook of assault survivors; that means the resources are for you!

also hey. listen to me. look at me. if any woman tries to tell you that you are less worthy of lesbian love and companionship because you have had sex with a man. ESPECIALLY a man who was taking advantage of you. you are going to send me their address and I will personally attack them with a baseball bat.

[evwuniverse]

Second Life and Hiatuses

One thing that needs to be talked about more is hiatuses. That sounds strange, right? You can also take hiatuses from virtual worlds, just like leaving work or going on vacation. In this case, I will aim this post toward Second Life readers, but this applies to ALL virtual worlds.

Whether it's due to virtual world drama, life getting in the way, or a break due to heartbreak, there are many reasons why someone might leave Second Life for a few months to even years. As odd as it may seem, I find myself going back to it after months and have even gone a year without entering the platform and then going back in. It's crazy just how much changes and how much you forget.

Those who have taken a hiatus know it's like starting over from square one. Many friends on your friend list don't remember you anymore, and the graphics have changed, meaning buying more updates and updating your avatar with the newest heads, body, hair, skin, etc. The list literally goes on and on. However, you can still start over. You already have a major advantage over the noobs, the fact that your profile shows your account has been active for 1+ year, and you already have some of the mesh items. Hence, it's just remaking your avatar to fit how you like it and organizing your inventory. Below are some tips to make your transition to getting back into Second Life more manageable.

Just purge your friend list - typically, this would be the hardest thing to do, but let's be honest, you last spoke to these people long ago. Congrats, you're now a stranger! According to statistics, most people on Second Life are between 32-70+ years old. I hate to say it, but many of them will not remember you due to their real lives. I know tough pill to swallow, but you'll be okay. If it's someone you still talk to through Facebook or through text or someone you know will remember you, then you can keep them but otherwise, purge that friend list. No one on there is your friend anymore (maybe if they are going down their friend list looking for some extra lindens to be sent to them).

"Spring Clean" your inventory - remember that long list of objects, clothes, mesh heads, furniture, and builds lingering around the inventory you haven't touched since last year lent? Yup! Well, it's time to clean it. Organize it and bring life back to the dreaded 23,000 items you've accumulated. Go to a sandbox, or if you have premium, your Linden home, and start going through everything. Start adding things to your avi so you know if it's something you want to keep or purge; go through folders and separate items into sections that make it easier for you to find exactly what you're looking for. This is something I've consistently struggled with for years. After being on Second Life for about 14-15 years, my inventory is completely crowded. Did you know that the more items you have, the slower your Second Life viewer takes to load? Yup! The more you know. So do yourself a favor and "Spring Clean" your entire inventory when you return; it's time-consuming but worth it later.

Work on your avatar - This one might be the most obvious; you need to work on it and bring it back to life. If it looks like one from the prim days, you're now considered vintage. Congratulations on being on Second Life longer than most people still play. In some sims in Second Life, that look still flies; you can be whoever, whatever, and look how you want. However, in a lot of the new sims out of the experience, it is frowned upon if your avatar isn't updated to at least a Maitreya body and free bento head of some sort (there will be later posts on the cheapest bento heads on the market and best bodies to get later on). We are currently on bento, baked-on mesh, bento heads, and bodies. If you don't know these terms, it's okay; you were on a hiatus; welcome back! Time to relearn. I will make a future post with some standard new terms for those of you coming back into this virtual world. -------------- <- (Updates will be posted there.)

If you're looking to talk with people, clubs are where it's at now - Let's be honest Second Life clubs have always been popular. Who doesn't want to sport out their newfound virtual pixels to the world on a gigantic dance floor for all to see? But to be 100% honest, this is where it has started, and this is the only place you will find a ton of people and breedable pet auctions (people love to spend money in here, I don't know about you, but as everything keeps rising I don't have it.). This is the best place to find people; don't let that discourage you from exploring some of the most amazing sims created by users like you.

Would you be interested in exploring? You'll probably be doing it alone; get a buddy! - Find another individual that also likes to explore because, most likely, you and that person will be the only ones there. This is because, just like all games, Second Life has been monetized. People hang out where they can spend money, shops, clubs, and gambling sims. Sounds like real life, doesn't it? As time keeps moving forward, that's what it turns into. To be fair, though, the advertising from these creators is top-notch, so it's straightforward to want to spend real-life money to get virtual currency. Trust me, though; many of these user-created worlds are worth exploring away from the famous places.

These are just a few tips on things you should consider doing after coming back from a hiatus. Second, Life is not for the weak of the heart, and there are always consistent changes. Relearning is worth it from the experiences you take out of it. Just like in reality, it's not all going to be sunshine and rainbows, but just remember that you don't have to put up with anything you don't want to. Peace and tranquility are only a skip, jump, block, delete, and "x" away.

[thejackofalltrades42069]

"Shadowboxing".

Image taken from The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen by Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill.

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In this post I'll explain "shadowboxing" (biasing yourself towards something) and provide a couple examples of how people can use shadowboxing to their advantage, and of how people often use it to their disadvantage.

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Intro.

When I was reading The Book of Five Rings for the 3rd time, I couldn't avoid remembering and thinking about a quote from a comic book, "You see, when you begin shadowboxing, sometimes the shadows become real. Isn't that odd."

This quote is said (in the comic) by James Moriarty who had been appointed by the British secret intelligence to be a director of military intelligence, but also, to act as a crime-lord so that he could control and monitor the underworld (criminal neighborhoods and other criminals). After acting as a crime lord for so long, he became biased towards it, he developed an strong affinity for it; it changed his thinking, his behavior, and his perception of the world. After acting as a crime lord for so long, he became a crime lord, and by the time the comic book takes place, he acted as a criminal and not as the director of military intelligence he was meant to be.

This is of course an example in fiction, but these shadows that become real when you do too much "shadowboxing" can happen to anyone when they engage in any particular activity repeatedly.

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Examples of how to use shadowboxing to your advantage.

If someone dedicates a significant amount of time to train martial arts, let's say, Kung Fu. They will become more disciplined, it will be easier for them to focus on other tasks, and they will overall feel more confident. The skills acquired during constant training will influence that person's behavior and decision-making in other areas of their life too.

Another example, someone dedicates 20 to 45 minutes daily into reading or listening to podcasts about specific subjects like science, psychology, philosophy, nutrition, etc. And from time to time they also read novels or other books. While doing these activities, the cellphone is put in silent mode inside a drawer to avoid distraction. This will lead to a few things; a more structured and objective thinking and decision-making, a developed skill to concentrate easier, a faster understanding for everything in general.

These examples are not detailed, I just want to explain this idea overall. This idea can be used to do things like develop a great relationship with your partner, to learn a language, to overcome an addiction, to learn reasoning to become less biased, etc.

Examples of how we use shadowboxing to our disadvantage.

Gut-brain axis example:

It is known that the gut microbiome can affect people's mental health in a positive or negative way. When a person has an unhealthy diet, there's a proliferation of harmful bacteria and reduction of beneficial bacteria, this leads to a dysregulation in naurotransmitter production and function which lead to mood disorders, such as an increased anxiety, stress, and sometimes it can even lead to depression (the gut microbiota is involved in the production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter known to regulate mood). In short, a bad diet can bias you to things like having more negative thoughts during the day because you're more stressed. As a specific example, any alcohol consumed is a big part of the equation in a bad diet, it is terrible for gut health. It is very easy to have an awful diet nowadays or to think "I have a great diet" and for that not to be the case, a lot of research and consulting other people can be useful for this specific example. Aditionally, the gut health interacts with the immune system, imbalances can cause a chronic inflammation in the body that can lead to disease or higher levels of stress.

As another regular theme of my blog, here are a couple of disadvantages you can become biased towards if you use social media and the internet too much:

Social media addiction: spending time on social networks can lead to addiction-like behaviors. People will experience difficulty in controlling their usage, feel anxious when unable to access social media, neglect real-life activities, and prioritize online interactions over offline relationships (many times these are not conscious behaviors). Reduced face-to-face social interaction: a lot of times, usage of social networks leads to a decrease in face-to-face social interactions. Spending more time online will reduce opportunities for real-world connections and affect the quality of relationships, leading to feelings of isolation or loneliness. This will be a result not only because social media is used too much, but because it drains people's energy (dopamine), and they won't want to go out or do other activities. Comparison and self-esteem issues: constant exposure to carefully curated content on social media (by the algorithms any social media platform have) can lead to unhealthy social comparisons. Many people will compare their lives, appearance, achievements, and relationships to others (even if it's unconsciously), which will negatively impact their self-confidence and contribute to feelings of inadequacy. Needless to say, this results in many unwanted behaviors people have, like feeling uncomfortable, angry, or sad when someone else talks about another person who's attractive or rich.

ADHD (attention deficit disorder) and being exhausted: using social media, the cellphone, and internet a lot is known to cause fatigue, more so if it's being used at the same time we're working or doing anything else, it's bad for our mental health, it's detrimental even. People claim to have attention deficit when they're spending 4+ hours on their cellphone daily, they also feel exhausted and can't do many demanding activities during the day, they also have a hard time sleeping, these are all outcomes from using cellphone and social media too much (this is all studied, the information is available online, most of us are addicted to cellphones, it's best to put them on silent mode and hide them while doing other activities).

These are just some examples, there are many activities we can engage in that lead to negative outcomes overtime, some of those activities can be related to our ideologies and values, coming next.

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Some of the psychology to further explain this.

Having specific political/ social values also bias people toward activities and trains of thought that are completely biased and that are impractical (full of logical fallacies), I'd advise to learn more reasoning and trying not to have a specific social or political ideology (like considering yourself a conservative or liberal for example). We can try to take what's useful from different views or ideologies and create our own practical philosophy, relying more on reason and on what works and on what doesn't work.

To further explain, ideologies usually have socio-political agendas (the agenda being for things to work out for the people with those agendas, not to look for any sort of solution at all), most of us are victims of those ideologies since we're kids, from our family or from society, that's transfered to us, whether we like it or not. It's hard to think that the world can work otherwise from the way someone with a specific set of values sees it, but actually, it does, and it works completely different, there are so many things that we misunderstand and misinterpret daily because of our biases and lack of knowledge.

Many people take refugee of their actions and ideas in ideology, some people justify their cheating on their partner with an ideology, others justify being completely irrational with "science facts" (cherry picked or misunderstood science facts), some justify their failed attempts to do things, their addictions, and so on. We're not perfect and we screw up a lot of times, but, we can learn to be more rational and find solutions to existing problems. Finding that versatility together with finding things that work is best.

To give an example, most people have many failed attempts to do many things, like, having a long term relationship with someone else, in big part this is because people are expecting things to happen in a very specific way. Things never happen in that specific way, so, those people don't look for solutions, they don't really talk to their partner about what's going on, and they break up and look for someone else (even after 10 years and with kids, perhaps the problem isn't your partner, perhaps it is, we can't know if we don't really understand the problem, and really try to solve it), the solution most of the time is to be more open for things to work differently, and, to work hard on the relationship always, and of course, many partners are not good partners, but sometimes it's just because they just don't know how to be good partners and are also expecting things that are not realistic (or, they're just thinking about something else that you're not thinking, you're not really talking, and you're not really understanding what each other needs, at the same time, some needs can be unrealistic), usually we just have to talk things out, really understand each other, and figure out solutions, if we're closed to really doing that, no relationship will ever work out.

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Conclusion.

My point here is, you can and should bias yourself toward somewhere you want to be or toward a goal you want to achieve, and you don't need to be really uptight about it, you just need to do useful activities daily or often (reading, practicing a sport, talking with other people, not using social media too much).

I would highly advise not to bias yourself toward becoming someone you don't want to be, or toward doing many activities you don't want to do, so be careful about the activities you do often, the content you consume, and the people you spend time with, because all that will bias you to have a certain identity, to certain values, and all that will change your overall perspective/ biases.

In short, the activities we often engage in will completely change ourselves in a positive or negative way.

xoxo