#zero tolerance shit sucks

[fromashesweriseuphiddenones]

Day twenty one

Jesh Desmond had to deal with having to take one of the boys home from school early because he got into a fist fight with another boy. Desmond was expecting Malik or maybe Kadar. But he didn't suspect Leonardo.

Yet when he arrived at the school to pick up his son, he found Leonardo with a black eye and his knuckles bursied and bloody. Before he could talk to his son and take him home, he was pulled aside by the Principal who said

"I am really sorry but we have zero tolerance for fighting."

"The other boy?"

"it's complicated."

Desmond's blood boiled seeing that the other kid who was only bursed from the defensive strikes Leo did inflict walk away and his mother took one look at Desmond and said

"That boy is a filthy animal. Attacking my poor baby for no reason. I am just glad principal matters is expelling him."

Desmond turned to the principal

"you can't be serious?!"

"Yes unfortunately."

Desmond spoke asking

"Can he get his things please."

"Like that animal needs them."

"Call my son an animal one more time and see what happens."

The school's resource officer stepped between them and said

"ma'am you are out of line. Your boy has a one day suspension for the fight. Take him and leave."

"Fine. Sir what are you doing about the other boys of his?"

"nothing they haven't broken any rules."

The principal said before Desmond glared and said

"Call them down with their things. And have Kadar get Leo's things."

"But..."

"I don't want to hear it."

After that whole ordeal and the four of them were in the car Leo broke down crying. Desmond stopped the car, got out and came to talk with his youngest son.

"Leonardo, you did nothing wrong. I told you if someone hits you first you hit back. And you did that. I am proud. I am not angry with you at all son. It's the school I am angry with."

"Your not mad Padre?"

"nope."

Leo hugged his dad and he smiled saying

"Let's go grab Altaïr and we get Ice Cream."

Three voices cheered for that cold sugary dessert.

[kenzie-ann27]

nothing gives me that kendall roy in secession kenergy quite like standing up to my mom via text then putting my phone on do not disturb because I fear confrontation

[soldat-buck]

i had a vision while making coffee this morning

bg3 culinary headcanons: Companion Edition

- Shadowheart: absolute zero regard for contamination while cooking. kitchen habits of a permanent bachelor. licks the tasting spoon clean and keeps using it to cook. eats hot cocoa straight out of the container with a spoon. thinks pouring ranch over an entire head of lettuce and eating it like feral animal while holding it over the kitchen sink counts as "salad". if you can get past the contamination thing, the food she makes actually tastes pretty good, even if it's sometimes odd (she cooks like a stoner, despite being perfectly sober. she is just Like That).

- Astarion: perfectly capable of cooking, and actually can cook quite well. food may not taste the same after becoming a vampire, but his enhanced sense of smell tells him nearly everything he needs to know about how to season and cook food properly. he doesn't cook because he doesn't like to (washing dishes? by hand? no fucking thank you, being undead is harsh enough on the nails and skin. finding a good lotion for normal undead dryness is already impossible)

- Lae'zel: in the modern world, if her life took her in a chef direction, she'd be in a Michelin star restaurant as the world's best and most terrifying sous chef. she absolutely would throw a knife at you for fucking up her plating (she'd intentionally miss. the first time). no nonsense is ever tolerated in her kitchen, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's got temper issues (her coldness and lack of tantrums is what makes her terrifying). she'd put Gordon Ramsay in his place for his rage theatrics and then make him weep with joy after serving him the most competent omelet he's ever had in his life. if she likes you, you may address her as "Yes, Chef!" outside of the kitchen.

- Karlach: uses 4 pots to make ramen. not because she's doing anything fancy or elaborate with it, the first pot was too small and started boiling over (whoops). the second one was, oh hold on, that's a cast iron pan, maybe you're not supposed to use that for boiling liquids, huh? wait shit, can't use this one either, i'm not supposed to use metal spoons on nonstick, don't want to scratch it. There we go! this one is the right size! and if i scratch this one, it's fine! wait, where the fuck did the flavor packet go (you should definitely be concerned about leaving her alone for the weekend)

- Wyll: very resourceful cook due to his Blade of the Frontier days. can improvise a meal out of damn near anything. can identify every edible plant and mushroom and tell you how to use it in a dish. would carry an herb garden in his adventure pack if he could. would absolutely thrive on the show Chopped (he's actually banned from auditioning again because it's not fair to the other competitors to have him on). he could make you a dessert featuring rattlesnake and fresh picked clover, and you don't know how or why, but you actually like it

- Gale: approaches the kitchen the same way he approaches most things in his life - academically. knows the proper safe temperature to cook meats/etc to, knows how to brown an onion, knows what seasonings are typically used together for certain flavor profiles and how to match seasonings to proteins. knife work sucks because he uses mage hand for mise en place and his mage hand has shitty DEX, but he's scared of his chef knife from the one time he sliced his thumb open (he was cutting an onion with improper hand placement and the knife slipped)

- Minsc: would exclusively eat by dumpster diving if it weren't for Boo's disapproval. eats like a human garbage disposal. he will eat a n y t h i n g that fits in his mouth, he is the least picky eater you will ever meet. does not understand how food challenges in the show Fear Factor are supposed to be challenges

- Halsin: world class forager. very competent hunter. prefers to eat everything as raw as possible. understands but doesn't believe in strict food safety because obviously stomach acid kills germs (and anyway, a little dirt here and there never killed anyone; exposure to germs is good for your immune system). open-mouthed kissing him is gambling with your health. makes the best vegetarian salads but do not trust any chicken he has "cooked". people with weak CON might want to consider avoiding his food

- Jaheira: uses Talk to Animals to Cinderella/Ratatouille rodents in the kitchen. she commands them like she's in perilous battle and the entire world is at stake (also rodents are worse to direct than cats, they do not know the difference between left and right. there's a lot of "No! Not that cupboard, the other one! NO, the OTHER other one! Flank him, he's off balance!"). making a cup of tea is a convoluted, stressful process that takes 10 times longer than just boiling the damn water yourself

if you want more bg3 culinary headcanons, there's also: the Absolute Edition

[bimbolita]

I’m so glad everyone is having the same visceral reaction to episode 4 like I did. I thought I was being too sensitive but fucking no. It is painful. It is horrid. Knowing that this type of abuse actively happens to sex workers and those who are trafficked. It’s jarring because I didn’t expect to see this dark and explicit depiction in a cartoon that jokes about penises every 2 minutes. It’s like when light hearted coco melon shows start talking about death, it was just unexpected because I never took this show serious. I’m going to share more of my thoughts below! Trigger Warning: Mentions of SA ⚠️

I don’t think it’s my place to deny or confirm if the ‘poison’ scenes were fetishized, I personally believe it’s subjective. I know how I feel but I think no matter where you stand, you are right in your own way. Many things can be true at once. What we can all agree on, is that it was harsh. In a way, I hope the audience is able to understand how exploiting and non glamorous sex work is. There is nothing fun about having your body used multiple times a day by people you do not know and having said scenes recorded then plastered all over the media. Of course all forms of engaging in or creating adult content are different, I am specifically talking about sex workers who have no say or control over their bodies and finances. Like Angel. Let us put emphasis on WORK in sex work.

It is demanding. It is laborious It is scaring. Remember that and remember the unheard voices who must do this to simply survive.

There is a lot of criticism about angel’s personality and yes I agree it is annoying but you have to understand, it is a trauma response. Hypersexuality is a common trait among those who are sexually abused. Angel just outwardly expresses it all the time because it is all he knows. This thought process is the only way to tolerate his behavior. I say thought process because it is only an interpretation. It’s very obvious viv just adores writing sexed up characters with zero nuance or depth but let’s just pretend she can actually write male characters that think beyond their cock and balls. Let’s pretend that Angel Dust is a two dimensional character and not (grits teeth) fetish bait.

Now, let’s talk about Charlie. Alright great, she saw her friend being mistreated and was about to stand up to his abuser, ok good good. The victim (Angel) gets upset and wants her to leave because he was beaten. Yes, average response of someone who is an abusive relationship, he is afraid and wants to avoid more conflict between him and Val. The situation at hand couldn’t be more than obvious. How does Charlie respond? She cries. And not because she is frustratedly concerned for the safety of her friend. It is because he yelled and rejected all her poor attempts at helping. Charlie is weak as shit and I think that interaction was weirdly written. I wish she had the mental fortitude to understand how much danger Angel’s life was in at that moment. I cannot enjoy her ‘aggressive kindness’ cutie do no wrong baby girl type of character in a moment like that.

And I feel the same about Husk’s song. Out of all the responses you could’ve made, this is what made it to the final cut? Do better. I don’t care if I lack the mEdIa LiTeRaCy twitter keeps yapping about. It’s bad. You just showed a sexual assault montage and the rebuttal was basically “my uncle broke his neck tap dancing once :/“ lol we’re both losers and that’s ok, suck it up buttercup, I like you regardless. This was the best response to an SA victim? No degree in media literacy would ever help me think that was an acceptable response. I dunno about ya’ll but I major in common sense at the university of using my eyes and fucking ears. Now imagine, if that entire segment, when Husk and Angel are at the bar plus the musical number; imagine if all of that was placed BEFORE we see Angel and Val interact and then poison plays as the final song. It would be 10x more impactful because then the audience sees how deep and stuck Angel actually is. Trauma olympics is never acceptable but neither is trauma participation trophies. It is not right to make Husk’s issues be seen as the same as Angel’s issues. They are not the same and it is ok to acknowledge that Angel has it worst than Husk. It’d be more genuine if Husk were to just hug him in complete silence after dragging him out of the bar and have Angel tearfully embrace him back. The first non sexual and benevolent interaction between them. The first physical act of care with no ulterior motives of lust.

I grind my teeth at the wasted potential.

[antianakin]

I'd love more fics where someone asks the clones if they identify as Mandos or something and the clones all go "No, those poeple SUCK, who would ever willingly be a Mandalorian??? All they do is kill each other and destroy their own planet. Even the supposedly peaceful ones are arrogant assholes. I'd literally choose to be anything else before I'd ever choose to be a Mandalorian."

More fics where the clones have spent so much time forced to be at war and enough time connecting with the Jedi that even the CONCEPT of being a Mandalorian sounds like a fucking NIGHTMARE to them. Imagine WANTING to be like the people whose whole core culture is about going to war and hating the Jedi? The clones can't relate.

More fics where the clones just AVOID Mando culture entirely. They don't speak the language because they just have zero interest in it, none of them like the taste of Mando food very much, and none of the little Mando traditions seem that interesting or compelling.

A clone sleeps with a sex worker one night and she tries to be seductive by using a Mando endearment she knows and it's an immediate turn off for the clone.

More fics where giving armor to each other isn't this huge meaningful thing. Armor gets lost and damaged all the time, so even if they gave it to someone as a gift, the chances that it would last very long are pretty minimal. The paint designs are meaningful as one of the few ways they distinguish themselves from each other, but it's not more meaningful than their hair choices or tattoos. They don't technically OWN the armor, but their hair and skin is attached to them, which actually makes armor LESS meaningful than hair choices or tattoos. They certainly don't try to marry each other with armor, armor is the most meaningless gift to give someone else. Giving armor to someone is a practical act, not a romantic gesture.

More fics where clones just... AREN'T MANDOS AT ALL. They're CLONES, they're their own distinct thing with their own distinct experiences that would coalesce into their own distinct traditions and cultures.

And more fics where the clones are actually influenced more by JEDI culture than they are by Mando culture because ffs there is not a single Mando character in canon who gave a flying shit about the clones or ever spent a single ounce of time with them, but there were THOUSANDS of Jedi living and fighting and dying with the clones for THREE YEARS STRAIGHT. There is NO culture they'd be more exposed to in a positive way than Jedi culture, and it is honestly criminally underexplored as an influence on clone culture in fics. Where are the clones exploring non-attachment as a concept and realizing that most of them ALSO have no real interest in marriage or kids? Where are the clones studying Jedi philosophies and finding a lot of comfort in them and passing them along to other clones and Jedi philosophies and sayings end up becoming really common among the clones? Where are fics where the clones become some of the most accepting and tolerant people specifically because they learned that from the Jedi?

The clones deserve to be more like the Jedi and deserve so much better than to end up Mandos. I cannot think of a worse fate for the clones, and they've already been through a lot of bullshit.

[griffonsgrove]

General Dating Headcanons | Black Hat

Black Hat X Reader fandom: Villainous/Villainos words: 1132 cw: none!! enjoy! a/n: Hi hi!! ive really been wanting to do headcanons for Black Hat for a while, I'm open to asks and requests so dont be afraid to drop a suggestion in!!

(Platonic):

Black hat is by no means an easy boss. He’s ruthless, unmerciful and bitter, and you are no exception in the Eldrich’s case.

At first.

When you were first hired to be an employee at Black Hat Organization, Black Hat treats you as he would any of his other employees.

With zero respect.

He has very little tolerance for inefficiency

But you were absolutely determined to live up to his impossible expectations.

Maybe you spent a little extra time organizing his paperwork, or added a smidge more arsenic to his tea than usual (he had a sweet tooth for poison occasionally) and maybe you even bothered to dust some of his prized artifacts and tomes from his glory days as villain, making them look as new as the day he got them, and so many other things you did that seemed to make his life a little bit more stress-free.

At first, he thought nothing of it, it wasn't uncommon that his henchmen would grovel at his feet and suck up to him, it amused him really. 

But overtime the eldritch realizes that you wanted to do these little tasks. 

But why?? He was the most feared being in existence, and you went out of your way to do the smallest task to appease him. You seemed to worm your way into his thoughts, even as he sat perched at his desk in the wee hours of the night. Why were you just so…sweet! You should be cowering in fear!!

Speaking of fear, he loooooooves to scare the shit out of you, popping up when you least expect, out of the shadows, morphing into some unspeakable abomination of eyes and mouths (possibly) scarring you, always got a kick out of him.

After working for him for some time you were the only one, he seemed to tolerate, you managed to do your job with little to no flaw or mistake, unlike his scientist.

Dr. Flug admittedly was slightly envious.

He’d never admit it but, Black Hat enjoys holding conversation with you from time to time. He allows you to ask questions, most of them being about all the things he had witnessed and accomplished in the eons he’s been alive. He almost admired the way your eyes lit up in wonder as he explained. Almost.

You enjoyed these little private conversations too, occasionally the demon would ask a question or two about yourself, which you would happily answer. He may show no interest on the outside, but on the inside he's curious. Something he rarely feels.

He does have a reputation to uphold however, and still threatens, yells and demeans you just as he would any of his other employees.

Gotta keep you on your toes, ya know? 

But deep down you know. You know that he secretly enjoys your company and is too stubborn to actually admit it.

You even dare to go as far and say that he was a friend. Don't let him hear you say that though.

(Romantic):

hooo boy

When I say this man is conflicted

The mere thought of love made Black Hat’s face morph into an ugly scowl, something he thought was near impossible for him to ever experience. The man had no heart for goodness's sake!

Oh, but then you had to weasel yourself into his life, his home, with your sweetness, didn't you?

Let me be clear when I say that this old man has never experienced these kinds of feelings before in his lifetime, and when he does, he thinks he’s possibly dying.

Did I also mention dramatic??

When realization dawns on him, he is absolutely floored, and the first thing he does is avoid you like the plague, which confuses you and raises a bit of concern. He rarely calls you to his office, and when he does, he avoids eye contact or just faces away from you entirely, barely acknowledging your presence.

Definitely becomes moodier, and more irritable as his feelings fester.

It’s not until you confront him one evening, when the manor is still and quiet, everyone having retreated to their respective rooms hours ago. That he finally confesses.

And being the extremely old fashioned eldritch he is, he formally asks to court you, how could you deny such a tempting proposition from the lord himself??

Of course, you say yes, why wouldn't you?? It’s an honor to be courted by Lord Black Hat!

Surprisingly, nothing changes much at first, he’s still very new to these feelings.

You both come to the agreement to keep your courtship strictly private and away from prying eyes, as I’ve said the man has a reputation to uphold.

God forbid Demencia finds out either. 

With all that being said, you both take things very slowly, which thankfully you were patient and understanding about, he's experiencing all these things for the first time.

It’s a good thing you're there to help guide him, right?

He may not have ever been in a relationship, but he isn't stupid. This demon is a straight up gentleman, and extremely chivalrous. Call it old-fashioned if you must, But the man is a charmer.

Despite his villainous persona, Black Hat shows rare moments of unexpected softness when he's alone with you.

He might not admit it, but he secretly enjoys quiet evenings, perhaps reading or just spending time together in one of his private studies. He personally enjoys reading the Necronomicon to you.

Black hat also has an uncanny ability to find and present unique, often mysterious gifts. They might be rare artifacts, darkly enchanted trinkets, or even personalized items that reflect his understanding of your tastes. You keep every single one of them.

He’s surprisingly a good listener and remembers just about anything you tell him.

Which by the way, this man spoils you.

When it comes to dates, Black Hat goes all out. He arranges extravagant, exclusive events, whether it's a candlelit dinner on a rooftop or a private screening at the manor. 

He once brought you to another dimension to view the downfall of an alien civilization, how romantic!

Black Hat, in his own twisted way, is fiercely protective over you. He might not show it overtly, but anyone who dares to even look at you with disdain will face the Eldrich’s fiery wrath.

Overall, Black Hat is surprisingly a good lover and partner. Your life never seems to be dull with him around, and you're incredulously grateful and honored to be able to see this side of him, even if it's behind closed doors. He has a hard time conveying his feelings and being vulnerable, but you're patient and understanding and eager to help guide him.

He never would have thought love was possible for him until you came along.

[amiharana]

revalink flower shop x tattoo shop omgg... who runs which shop how do they meet are they competitive with their businesses do they give each other cute things from their shops 👁

god it would work either way, but ultimately i think link would own the tattoo shop and revali would own the flower shop. i only decided it because revali seems like the type to have to do multiple sessions for the tiniest tattoo because his pain tolerance is low for tattoos LMAO bro is sitting there like "it doesn't hurt i swear" meanwhile his face is red and he's sucking in his lips trying not to burst into tears ready to shit his pants, but the needle hasn't even touched his skin yet ✋😭

this au could go in a couple different ways: (1) link and revali hate each other and fight all the time about being the better store (boring!), (2) there's no rivalry and link and revali are mutually interested in each other (better, but a bit ooc i feel), or (3) link moves in and becomes more and more curious as he catches glimpses of his (((attractive))) store-neighbor while secretly hopeless romantic revali is grumpy and annoyed about how off-putting a tattoo shop will look next to his flower shop and there's a very mild one-sided rivalry mentality on his end, but as link tries to get to know revali better, revali thinks, perhaps this wouldn't be so bad. you already know what i'm about to write about rn lmfao.

revali's flower shop "the meadow" has been open on tabantha street for a couple years now. he thinks of himself as a very good florist, probably the best in the entire city of hyrule, and he's actually won a couple floral design competitions??? revali inherited the shop from his parents after they passed and he gets fairly good business, especially because everyone who lives on this street are hopeless romantics who are always buying bouquets for dates or to bring home to their spouses. revali will roll his eyes and scoff lightheartedly to his customers about how mushy it all is (but inside, he wants the same for himself; to go home to someone he loves with a bouquet of flowers. revali wonders sometimes, when he watches customers leave with red roses in hand, if he was meant to ever find love. he looks over at the vase of forget-me-nots on the counter; perhaps, one day).

the retail space next to revali's shop has been empty for a couple years and revali is thinking about expanding into the space when suddenly, the space gets rented out and in moves some blond twink with a fully tatted up arm with his dumb little tattoo shop called "master ink zero" or some shit. revali comes in to work one day only for there to be construction going on in the empty space he's been eyeing for a while, and that cute blond twink is standing in front of it talking to one of the workers. what the fuck. all this construction noise is going to scare revali's soft-hearted hopeless romantic customers away! the blond notices him and holds a hand up to wave a little, but revali just glares and turns away to unlock the door to his shop. he could really let that kid have it, but he holds his tongue because he needs to open the store. (he is kind of cute though... stop it, bad revali!)

the day continues as smoothly as it can with construction noise muffled through one of the shop's walls giving revali a migraine. fortunately, his regulars still come but unfortunately, every single one of them comments on the construction.

"you're going to get a new neighbor!" amali says as revali rings up the regular bouquet for her husband kass. "how exciting! you won't be lonely anymore."

"what a curious mix," muses saki when she enters the shop. "a flower shop and a tattoo parlor next to each other. you know, my teba and i are quite the opposites ourselves and they say opposites attract, so—" and revali flushes, squawking and ushering her out. she only laughs at him and bids him well.

the moment his friend urbosa steps into the store to visit, revali knows that she knows and immediately regrets his entire life. "have you proposed marriage to him yet?" she asks, smirking and sits on the counter.

"get off of my counter, i just wiped that down," revali snipes at her, frowning. "whatever do you mean, propose?"

"to blondie next door," she says, cocking her head to the side towards the construction. revali rolls his eyes but she continues. "he's your type down to a T."

"and he's going to scare off my customers," he replies and returns to spraying his vase of forget-me-nots. "i could care less whether or not he's my type."

urbosa hums. "well he's cute and he seems like a nice kid." suddenly, her gaze shifts into something more serious and revali's shoulders tense. "revali... forgive me if i overstep, but i know you've been alone for a while. you've been running this shop for years, working nonstop. i don't think you've ever had a moment to yourself. it might be nice to take a leap of faith on this one, you know?"

revali reverts his attention back to the forget-me-nots and doesn't say anything else, touching the petals with gentle fingers. urbosa sighs. "just consider it, okay? i care about you and i want you to be happy."

"i know," he murmurs. "i know. i'll think about it. only because you asked me to, though. not because he's my type." urbosa smiles and punches his shoulder lightly, to which revali wrinkles his nose at her. he'll think about it.

somehow, the tattoo shop finishes construction in the next week (that bolson construction company sure is efficient...) and opens. revali should probably go over to congratulate his new neighbor with a bouquet of daffodils and white carnations, but he's already glared them down the first time he saw them. with an oddly uncomfortable feeling in his chest, he keeps to himself in his little flower shop, tending to his vase of forget-me-nots and all his other flowers.

(but just because revali doesn't want to visit doesn't mean that link won't 👁️)

the soft chime of a bell alerts revali that a customer has stepped into the store. "welcome to the meadow," he starts, looking up from his computer to the door, "what can i help you with—?" and the rest of his words are stuck in his throat. there, in the threshold of his store, is the blond twink with the fully tatted arm staring at revali with wide, bright blue eyes.

revali never actually got a good look at him when they saw each other the first time. the blond is wearing a loose green tank top, black leather jeans, and combat boots, and his tatted arm is fully on display, swirling with deliberate strokes of ink. he's quite toned and lean, now that revali has gotten a closer look. definitely not his type. he's not!

"hi," the blond says, his voice as soft as the doorbell. "i'm link. i'm the... owner of the tattoo shop next door." he's got freckles, revali thinks faintly before he can actually process any other words.

"really? i wouldn't have ever known with your entire arm covered in tattoos," he says instead. "perhaps you were actually a receptionist or a dog walker who stumbled upon my humble shop." revali cringes internally after the words leave his mouth; he didn't mean to come off that rude for their first proper interaction. he just wanted to be a little rude.

but link only smiles at him, small but genuine, and a feeling grows in revali's chest that he can't quite name. "i'm not sure i'd be very good at either of those things," he says and steps a little closer to the counter, hands in his pockets.

"and who's to say you're any good at tattooing either?" revali mutters, and he doesn't mean for link to actually hear it, but he does, much to revali's chagrin.

link cocks his head, still smiling. "you could come by and find out," he says, and revali blinks at him. they maintain each other's gaze for a couple moments, link's eyes bright and wide, until revali finally tears his gaze away back to his computer. he can't read a single word on the screen.

"revali," he says instead, still keeping his eyes on the screen. it's almost feels difficult to get the words out. "my name is revali."

"hi revali," link says, leaning against the counter now. "it's nice to meet you." then, he glances up at the clock mounted above revali's head. "i have to get back now, i just wanted to properly introduce myself to you now that we'll be working next door to each other. i hope to see you around." with that, link stands up, bows his head a little, and gives revali another smile before leaving.

(and if revali stared after him and the way those leather jeans hugged his figure quite nicely, no he didn't.)

and that's how it starts 😳 at first i considered having link also keep to his own shop at first, but i don't think that does his "character" justice in the game. if you consider us as players to be equivalent to botw link's character (i.e. how we maneuver link in-game, what dialogue options we choose, etc), then link has this natural curiosity about the world around him and wants to explore and talk to new people. so of COURSE if he sees that his neighbor is hot, he's going to want to come over and say hiiiii *twirls his hair*

revalink shenanigans ensue <3 in the beginning, link would randomly drop by during the week for a minute or two, to say hi and make small talk with revali and at first, revali wouldn't say much eyeing the blond. but his short responses and cold demeanor don't deter link; it seems to spur him on, the blond smiling brightly at him with every greeting and with every goodbye.

one day, link comes in and after he says hello, he starts walking around the store looking at the flowers like he's a customer. revali blinks and watches link walk around, dumbfounded.

"what are you doing?" revali says.

"looking at the flowers," link says. he gently touches the edges of the flowers' petals as he moves between the aisles, the same way that revali treats the flowers. "i want to put some on our reception desk. i think it would look really nice." he stops before a cluster of sunflowers and then looks at revali. "can i get some of these?"

revali faintly notes how well link resembles the bright flowers, before scoffing. "if you're going to get flowers to greet your customers, you might as well put some effort into it!" he snips, crossing his arms. "sunflowers are a good choice, but sunflowers only are bland. here, if you were to add some of these—"

he ends up walking link around the entire adding flowers to the ones in link's hand and talking about the different meanings and nuances of flowers, until the arrangement has become a bouquet of sunflowers, gladiolus flowers, jasmine flowers, and calendulas, surrounded by a bunch of little white chamomiles.

"there," revali says, putting his hands on his hips and puffing up proudly. "now that is a bouquet worthy to greet customers."

"it's very beautiful," link comments. he gazes at the bouquet and touches the flowers with those ever so gentle fingers skirting the edges of the petals. "thank you for helping me put it together. how much does it cost?"

and that stops revali in his tracks, his hands dropping to his sides. he totally forgot that link wanted to get flowers for his own store and came here acting like a customer. "yes, the matter of payment," revali starts, blinking and brain scrambling, "well, then, just think of it as a welcoming gift."

"a welcoming gift?" link echoes, cocking his head at revali with those wide blue eyes.

"yes!" revali says, his face beginning to flush. "because your store is still brand new and i hadn't welcomed you properly either..." revali looks away, feeling his cheeks burn. "it's the least i can do..."

when he looks back at link, that familiar smile has returned to his face, eyes sparkling. "thank you, revali," link says, voice soft. "that's really nice of you." and revali's heart flutters.

"well, of course!" he stammers, willing his face not to burn brighter than it already is. "you're fortunate enough to be neighbors with me, the kindest, most benevolent, and gentlemanly florist in all of hyrule." link smiles brighter at him, holding the flowers to his chest and revali looks away, the pounding in his heart so intense he wonders if it will punch through his ribcage out onto the floor.

link starts coming in on mondays and wednesdays during his lunch break just to talk to revali, and gets him to talk more about the meanings of the flowers and the nuances of different colors, the best way to arrange flowers, etc., link happily listening along. it takes some time for revali to get used to, the sound of their voices filling the usually quiet shop for that sacred half hour but once it's set into place, revali looks forward to it every week (though he'll never admit it out loud).

"don't you eat during a lunch break?" revali comments once, after finishing a spiel about invasive flowers to never plant. link hums questioningly at him. "it's a lunch break. aren't you hungry?"

"oh," link says. "i guess?" and right on cue, a rumble comes from the blond's stomach and he looks up at revali with a sheepish smile. "ahah... i got so caught up talking to you i forgot i had to eat."

revali rolls his eyes, then sighs looking up at the clock. "we still have 20 minutes," he says. "come on, let's go to the cafe."

"cafe?" link repeats, as revali grabs his phone, wallet, and keys. "there's a cafe here?"

"had you paid much more attention to anywhere else but me, you'd have known," revali says, but link still stares at him with his head tilted, waiting for an answer. "one of my regulars, amali, runs the 'birdbath' cafe just down the street. she has an assortment of meals for you to choose from, you can just get one to-go."

they enter the cafe and amali starts greeting them until she realizes it's revali and then realizes it's revali with a guest and she's like IS THIS YOUR NEW NEIGHBOR??? and he's reservedly like Yeah... and now amali is fussing all over link and asking him about how he's settling in, is everything going okay, is revali nice to you, you can come in anytime you'd like! revali is like Pls....... we have 15 minutes until link has to go back to work just give him food girl

link is very excited about the entire menu because everything looks really good. "i'll have to come back here to try everything!" he tells amali and she's ecstatic. "i'm telling you, come back anytime! you're always welcome here," she says warmly.

and when link gets ready to pay, revali brushes him aside and offers his card to amali. amali gives revali a knowing look and accepts the card, but link looks up at him confused. "you don't have to..." he starts.

"i'll pay for you this time," revali mutters, averting his eyes. "i'm the one who dragged you out here after all." and link stares with those huge blue eyes.

"thank you," he says softly. "you're so kind, revali."

"that's our revali!" amali chuckles, handing revali his card back. "he might seem like all high and mighty, but he's really just a softie inside. why do you think he runs a flower shop?"

"amali!" revali gripes, flushing. "please just get link his food." he glances back at link, who's still gazing at him with an expression that revali doesn't know how to read. he looks at revali so softly, so tenderly, and... fond. revali swallows and adjusts his collar. is it hot in here or is it just him?

god this post is already so long but there is so much potential for so many revalink shenanigans in this au 🥺

link coming to get bouquets every week for his own store and learning how to make bouquets with revali

link showing revali his portfolio of tattoos and offering to give revali a tattoo for a discounted price only for revali to decline and link gets sad, until revali quickly says that he's scared of needles and link is like ohhh (but he's still kind of disappointed because he likes the idea of tattooing revali)

link secretly sketching and designing tattoos in his off-time that he think would look really beautiful and fit revali really well. and fantasizing about touching revali's biceps to tattoo him LOL

what if link had a tramp stamp. link with a tattoos on his ribcage and groin. tattoos behind his ear. he shows revali all of these irl in the shop and revali's face is so red he's just like Um. Yes Those Are All Very Nice. Yes. Please Put Your Clothes Back On.

link coming in to buy a bouquet of lilies for zelda and revali goes all tense and upset and is like. is that your gf. and link is like GOD NO that's my twin sister and lilies are her favorite flower and revali relaxes and is like oh. that's nice of you to get her some (but is secretly pleased that link doesn't have a significant other)

urbosa coming to visit the store at a time when link is there on his lunch break, and they get to introduce themselves to each other properly. revali is sitting there sweating the entire time and when link tells urbosa about how he comes here to spend his lunch breaks, urbosa smirks at revali, who's ready to shit himself

(urbosa texting revali later congratulating him on tapping that ass. revali screams at her that he has NOT done that. and she replies with "yet?". he threatens to block her)

everyone else on tabantha street realizing that link and revali are kind of having a Thing™ going on between them. and they all start planning to try to get them together. there's a reason why i have "i won't say i'm in love" from disney's hercules on my revalink playlist because everyone is getting in on Operation: Revalink trying to push revali into asking link out and he's like no nothing is going on between us i swear except he's spends all his breaks and off-time with link, taking him to cafes and paying for everything link orders, sitting in on tattoo sessions because link invites him over, teaching link how to make bouquets... ok so maybe they have something going on, leave me alone saki, i'm not going to ask him out

THIS WILL BE THE LAST SCENARIO I TALK ABOUT bc this post is so damn long now, but i imagine a scene where link asks revali about the vase of flowers on the counter and what kind of flowers they are. revali looks over at the forget-me-nots he's been carefully tending to and inhales, and tells link.

"those are forget-me-nots," revali says, in a voice that's uncharacteristically soft and vulnerable. it makes link sit up, becoming much more attentive to revali's demeanor. "they're perennial hardy flowers that die in the winter but regrow again during the spring. there's an old story about these little ones, where a knight and his lover were walking alongside a river. the knight reached down to pick the flowers that were growing near the river, but his armor was too heavy and he ended up falling in, only to be swept away by the river's current. if you ask me, it's a foolish way to go; why was he wearing such heavy armor anyway? but as he floated away, he threw the flowers he picked to his lover and shouted, 'forget me not!' and the flower was named as such."

revali reaches over to pull the vase closer and places it in between him and link. the flowers are small and delicate little things, a sweet shade of blue with a yellow center. both he and link touch the flowers as they do, with gentle fingers against the edges of the petals.

"these were the flowers that my father offered when he was courting my mother," revali says, gaze faraway. "as you can see, it worked out." he gestures to himself and link smiles. "they're supposed to represent everlasting love, a love so true and strong that it can't be forgotten." he pauses, rubbing a petal in between his fingers before continuing. "i've always wanted to offer a bouquet of these to someone that i love, in the same way my father did for my mother. as sentimental as it is, it's... romantic and meaningful."

"it is," link agrees softly. "whoever you give these flowers to will be very lucky to have someone like you." and revali makes the mistake of looking up to meet link's gaze, because that's where everything about him changes.

when he looks at link, the sun is shining through the windows of the shop, casting a golden glow over the blond. he gazes at revali with those wide blue eyes, the ones that revali has become increasingly enamored with in the time they've spent together, the same color as the forget-me-nots. beautiful, revali thinks and this time he doesn't shy away from the thought because it's true.

then, he takes a flower from the vase and reaches over the counter to slip it behind link's ear, tucking his hair as he goes. link stills, his eyes growing wider and his cheeks turning a faint shade of pink as revali's fingers touch his skin, gentle and featherlight, and for a moment in time, they're the closest they've ever been to each other since they've met. revali could probably count all of the freckles on spread across link's nose and cheeks. in this moment, revali wouldn't mind if they got closer than this. he'd like it a lot, actually.

but he pulls away and sits back down, admiring the way the flower sits prettily behind his ear, contrasting against link's golden hair and tan skin in the sunlight. link is still wide-eyed and pink-faced and it makes revali smile (just a little!). "yes, they'd be very lucky," he murmurs. "blue is definitely your color, by the way. you should wear it more often."

"th-thanks," link whispers, reaching up to touch the flower in his hair. "i'll keep that in mind."

yes, they could be closer than this. revali hopes that one day they could.

[arc-misadventures]

Onee-Sama

Jaune: Shit…

Jeanne: Hey, don’t be upset, three out of five isn’t bad.

Jaune: Zero out of five! I may have hit the target, but none of them are on target!!

Jaune gestured to the target board where three of the throwing knives were in the target, but none of them were in the target’s circle.

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: Well you did hit the target!

Jaune: That’s not good enough!

Jeanne: Hey, no need to shout. You’ll get the hang of this. It will just take time.

Jaune: It’s not the fact I’m missing the target that’s making me upset! It’s you, and your damn smug aura you have around you.

Jeanne: What? What are you talking about, I’m not being smug about anything.

Jaune: Jeanne, you’re finally teaching me how to be good at something I suck at that. Of course you’re going to be a smug little shit about it, and hang that over me.

Jeanne: What! No I wouldn’t!

Jaune: Jeanne, you’re an, Arc. We are surprisingly vindictive, smug little bastards when we want to. You are no exception to this rule. Why do you think my nickname is, ‘The Vindictive One.’

Jeanne: I thought it was, ‘Big J?’

Jaune: …

Jaune: Shut up.

Jeanne: Hehehehe~!

Acheius: Jaune! Jeanne! You out here?

JJ: …

Jaune: Seems like, Papa, and Mama are back.

Jeanne: Evidently so. They’ve not even been gone for a week; I thought they might have a mini vacation while they were gone.

Jaune: Evidently not.

Juniper: Jeanne, Jaune? Where are you?

Jeanne: We’re over here mom! Do you need something?

Juniper: We want to introduce you to someone!

Jaune: You don’t think she means…?

Jeanne: It’s highly plausible.

Through a clearing of the bushes that surrounded their little training field emerged four people. Their parents, Juniper, and Acheius Arc, and Willow Schnee, and her lovely daughter, Winter Schnee.

Jaune: Well I’ll be damned…

Jeanne: She really is our sister then, isn’t she?

Acheius: Was there any doubt she wasn’t?

JJ: Yes.

Acheius: …

Acheius: That’s fair… Anyway, may I introduce you to her mother, Willow Schnee.

Willow: Hello, I am, Willow Schnee, and this my daughter, Winter Schnee. And, I mus say, you two look like the spitting image of your parents~!

Jaune: I’m not so sure about me, but, Jeanne certainly takes after our mother.

Jeanne: Where else do you think I got my glorious looks from~!

Jaune: Actually I referring to the fact you’re both perverted degenerates.

Jeanne: Hey!

Juniper: True.

Jeanne: Mom?!

Jaune: Try to ignore them, and their insanity. Hopefully you’ll be able to tune them out.

Winter: I will try.

Jaune: So, she’s actually our sister; Are you going to start calling yourself, Winter Arc Schnee, or Winter Schnee Arc?

Jeanne: Go with, Winter Arc Schnee! It sounds better.

Winter: I… I haven’t given thought to such a thing. I’m only here at the request of mother, and Mr. Arc to meet the family. I have no plan to integrate myself further into this family.

Jaune: Yeah, that’s not going to happen.

Winter: Excuse me?

Jeanne: She’ll be smothered in so much family love, and affection she have a mid life crisis.

Winter: I’ll what?

Jaune: More of emotional break down from being smother with genuine love, and affection.

Jeanne: Meh. Same difference.

Winter: Okay…?

Jaune: So I take it you met your other sisters before us?

Winter: Yes, I certainly have; they were quite…

Jaune: Odd, weird, creep…?

Jeanne: Unhinged, crazy, deranged…?

Jaune: A bunch of perverts?

Jeanne: Hey!

Winter: Yes… My new half-sisters are quite… peculiar.

Jaune: Well, if you’re anything like me, Winter you’ll eventually be able to tolerate them. Just barely tolerate them that is…

Winter: I see…

Jeanne: So, Winter, you up for a spare?

Winter: Excuse me?

Jeanne: We’re a couple of young hunters-in-training, and we could use a new sparing partner to really refine our skills. And, you look a bit wound up meeting your new brother, and sisters. So, how about a little spare to release all that tension you’ve got building up in you?

Winter: I’m not so…

Acheius: Ahh go ahead, Winter. It’ll be a good bounding moment for the three of you. Plus, the two could do with having someone else to spar with.

Jaune: That, and dad is tired of mom beating him up because he took it too far.

Acheius: Hey! I only did that once.

Jeanne: Are we talking about that one time you launched me into a tree?

Jaune: Or, that one time you broke my nose?

Jeanne: Perhaps is was that one time you skipped me like a stone into a lake?

Jaune: Or, the time you lunched me through the wall of the house?

Jeanne: Or, the…!

Acheius: Enough! I think she gets it!

Willow: Did he really do that to you?

Juniper: Yes, yes he did.

Willow: Oh… Oh my.

Jaune: Don’t worry! We’re, Arc’s!

Jeanne: We’ve got aura like a tank! We’ve never been badly hurt in a spare!

Jaune: Except for that time he broke my nose because he didn’t unlock my aura before we fought.

Jeanne: Yeah, except for that time… So, would you like to have a small bout, Winter?

Winter: …

Winter: Very well, it would be nice to let out some steam.

Jeanne: Alright, lets do this!

Willow: Are you sure this is a good idea?

Acheius: Relax, it will be a good training exercise for the two of them.

Jaune: And, a great bounding moment.

Acheius: And, an excellent bounding moment for the two of them, yes!

Willow: Should I be worried?

Juniper: No, Jeanne will be fine.

Willow: But, what about, Winter?

Juniper: …

Juniper: Jeanne! No semblance!

Jeanne: What?! Why not?

Juniper: Because you’ve been using it too much. And, its highly volatile!

Jeanne: Man… I never get to have any fun…

Jaune: Okay! Challenger’s! I shall be the referee for this fight. So, when I say stop you stop, understood?

Winter: Understood!

Jeanne: Okay fine…

Jaune: Understood?!

Jeanne: Understood, sir!

Jaune: Good. Now, you will fight until your aura enters the red. Understood?

JW: Understood!

Jaune: Sync your aura meters with me.

Jeanne: Sync!

Jaune: Synced.

Winter: …

Winter: Sync.

Jaune: Synced. Contestants take your places!

Jeanne, and Winter stood roughly twenty feet apart, each reading their combat stances. Each drawing their respective weapons.

Winter drew her sabre a practice flourish of motion; spinning the blade before here, before slashing it to the ground behind her, before narrowing her profile to point the blade at her opponent.

Jeanne stood before her opponent without her heavy armour, he recent growth spurts into adulthood rending her armour to cumbersome, and tight to wear effectively anymore. So, she just strode out with just her shield, and sword.

Her shield was a simple kite shield, but unlike her brothers, Jeanne’s shield was a single piece. It was layered with an intercept floral weave engraved upon the polished white metal, and golden details. Deep blue gems where imbedded upon the shield.

Just like her brothers blade, so too did her shield also double for a sheath for her blade, she drew two feet of solid steel, and as she flicked it out, the remaining length of the blade shot out, revealing a four foot long longsword.

She levelled her shield in front of her, and adopted a defensive stance, and levelled her blade towards her opponent.

Jaune stared at the two for a moment before raising his hand, and shouting.

Jaune: …

Jaune: BEGIN!

A glyph appeared under, Winter’s feet that sent her flying towards, Jeanne closing the gap between them in seconds. Winter expected her to be shocked at this sudden burst of speed, but she merely moved her shield to the side, and blocked her attack.

Winter’s sabre sang out as it impacted, Jeanne’s sheild. It sounds like if as one had tapped the side of their wine glass to gain everyone’s attention. So soothing, and beautiful that she almost forgot, Jeanne’s that was coming straight for her.

For such a small girl of fourteen years of age she could hit like a jackhammer when she wanted to. A quick thrust with her longsword, and quick flicks of her wrist lead to, Winter being kept on the back foot for a time. She thought she was dealing with just your average apprentice Hunter. But, the cool, and calm steely gaze that she held within her eyes was something she had seen in only the most experienced of, Hunters.

Winter thought, Jeanne would see this fight as a simple training bout, a young hunter trying to hone their craft, or an excited girl trying to show off to her dear older sister, something she had seen in the eyes of her sister, Weiss dozens of times before. But, these eyes, these were the eyes of someone who took this all seriously. For, Jeanne, this was not some simple training spar, this was life, or death, and if she failed, she would be as good as dead.

It was a chilling, and unnerving thought to behold that such a young girl saw the world in such a way. And, yet it sent a thrill of excitement coursing up her spine as she smiled at the younger girl.

Winter rushed forward wither her semblance, sabre held before her attempting to stab at, Jeanne. But before she could get close, Jeanne kicked up a wall of dirt, clouding her presence. Winter shot threw the cloud, and landed softly barely being able to react in time to block a fierce strick from, Jeanne.

Winter was impressed. Jeanne Arc was quick on her feet, and even quicker with her blade. This duel of there changed from, Winter wanting to blow off some steam to testing to see this extent of this, Hunter’s true abilities.

Winter jumped back giving her some breathing room. She half expected, Jeanne to chase after her, but she held her ground. She probably wanted to catch her breath too, too bad she wasn’t going to let her do so.

Seven glyphs appeared in the air before her, and seven small white, Nevermore’s came flying out towards, Jeanne. Her eyes darted side to side, and held up her shield, and bloke the six, Nevermore’s, before turning around, and cutting down the seventh one. Winter realized why her eyes darted all over the place; she was counting the amount of summons she sent at her, and since the seventh one never hit her shield she knew it was coming from behind her.

Clever girl.

Winter was going to compliment her, but stopped as she noticed her sword be enveloped in a golden hue before it appeared in a sphere at the tip of her swords before she flung it at her at a high speed.

Her eyes widened in shock as the orb came closer to her. She quickly dodged to the side as it neared her, and exploded, sending her flying. She hit the ground with a roll, and she had to start running as a second orb came charging towards her.

As she narrowly dodged the second blast she slammed her sabre into the ground, creating a large white glyph appear in the ground, and soon a large white, Chimera Grimm appeared. It roared as it charged towards, Jeanne as she held her ground. Winter view was blocked by the large beast, Winter was looking forward to seeing, Jeanne face down such a monster. And, she wasn’t let down.

A white silver blade erupted from the skull of the chimera. Had, Jeanne jumped, and thrusted her sword through the chimera’s skull? It was an effective strategy to implement, risky, but effective. What she actually did however, was quite interesting.

A five foot long handle, and a four foot long blade. A spear to keep her foes at a distance, and strong enough to dispatch large foes with ease. It was an impressive sight to see the way, Jeanne could wield such a weapon. Although, she spent more time dodging the weapon, then admiring its beauty.

Her sword thrusts were admirable, Jeanne was capable of preforming were now shown the true power of those thrusts. Winter could feel the air fly past her as she narrowly missed the head of her spear. She spun on the spot, driving her weapon crashing into the ground, sending an explosive blast as it tore up the earth.

Winter knew she couldn’t handle her at a close range anymore, so she made several glyphs in the air, and sent over a dozen flying bolts of white energy towards her. Jeanne’s eyes widened in shock for a moment before she used her spear to destroy several of the bolts, but she didn’t stop enough of them, as several came, and hit her in her side. She weathered the storm, but the impact of the blasts dropped her to her knees. As she was about to stand, Winter struck. Using the cross-guard of her sabre she caught the shaft of, Jeanne’s spear. Jeanne struggled to pull her weapon free from, Winter’s grasp, only to notice at the last second as, Winter jab her in the got with a concealed dagger she kept hidden in her sword.

Winter knocked the wind out of her causing her to lose the grip on her weapon, allowing, Winter to wretch the weapon free from her grasp, and send it flying through the air.

Winter smiled smugly at, Jeanne only for her head to dart to the side, she could feel her aura being sliced up as she noticed a silver feather fly past her. She quickly blocked several more of these feathers only to look down, and see that the feathers we’re actually the design given to a serious of throwing knives, Jeanne apparently carried on her person.

She looked back to see, Jeanne placing her shield on her back before reaching back, and pulling out a pair of knives. She held

She held the blades in a defensive stance, preparing for, Winter’s next strike. Winter readied to strike, her blades held before her. A challenging smirk sent towards, the young Hunter appreciate who sent her back one in kind. The two readied up, their muscles tense as they prepared to lung at their foes, when…!

Jaune: ENOUGH! The spare is over! Winner: Winter Schnee!

Jeanne: What?! Why are you ending the fight! I can still keep going!

Winter: I must agree, I could have kept going myself too.

Jaune: Plausible. But, Jeanne your aura is at 27%. One more good hit, and you would have been out.

Jeanne: Oh shit, really?

Jaune: That, and your weapons we’re starting to glow.

Jeanne: Oh…

Winter: Is that a part of her semblance?

Jaune: It’s a visual cue she’s about to, or is using her semblance.

Winter: And, what is your semblance?

Jaune: Nothing of consequence.

Jaune walked over to, Jeanne spear before wrenching it out of the ground before turning to his sister.

Jaune: Jeanne, catch!

Jaune launched her spear at her with a wicked force, Jeanne simply turned to the side as the spear flew past her until she caught the spear by the pommel as a cloud of dirt flew by her. She grasped the shaft with two hands, twirling it in the air as it shrunk down to its long sword form before placing it back in its sheath on her back. A serious of moves, Winter couldn’t help but notice were highly well practiced.

Impressive.

Jeanne: At least tell me I gave, Winter a good beat down.

Jaune: Her aura is at, 42%.

Jeanne: Nice!

Winter: It is?

And, it was then that, Winter pulled out her scroll to see that her aura had indeed been knocked down to, 42%. She was impressed, she had expected her aura to have dropped 30%, possibly even 40%, but to nearly 60%.

Winter: Impressive, that is quite a remarkable feat.

Jeanne: Aww thanks… But, I would have totally creamed you if I could have used my semblance!

Jaune: Which is why mom said no semblance. You’re starting to use it as a crutch. Even against me.

Jeanne: Hey! You’re the aura tank, and it only get ls worse when you use your damn semblance on top of that!

Winter: You have a semblance; what is it?

Jaune: Aura amplification.

Winter: Aura amplification; what precisely is that?

Jaune: This…

Jaune walked over to, Winter, and held out his arm, and a golden light enveloped his arm to be followed by a blue white light spreading across her arm. She was about to ask what he was doing when she noticed that her aura was nearly at 70%.

Winter: You can recharge people’s auras?!

Jaune: Yep. It uses some of my aura to recharge others, but I can also use it on myself to recharge my own aura. Not to mention when I use it on other’s their semblance gains a boost, and becomes far more powerful. For a short while that is.

Winter: That is quite the impressive semblance…

Jaune: Yep, with my semblance I become an aura tank!

Jeanne: And, with my semblance I become the tanks cannon!

Jeanne: And we become the, Arc Tank!

Winter: …?

Jeanne: Jaune, you’re supposed to join me in this.

Jaune: Come up with a better name, and I might.

Acheius: Haha! Well, Winter, what do you think of your siblings?

Winter: Well, I don’t know what, Jaune is like, but, Jeanne is amazing. She will become a fine Huntress in the future.

Jeanne: Naww… Thanks, Onee-Sama~!

Winter: W-What did you just call me…

Jaune: Onee-Sama? It means big sister. Since, we call everyone else sister, we thought we call you something different, yet the same. Since you are our older sister. Is that okay…

JJ: Onee-Sama~?

Winter: Grk?! It’s fine… Ahem! It’s fine. Perfectly fine.

JJ: Yay!

Acheius: Well, then. Lets go inside. We need to start dinner soon, and I am famished!

Jeanne: See, Willow, they’re getting along just fine.

Willow: Agreed. Uhh… No offence, Juniper. But, those two seem a bit… odd…

Juniper: No offence taken whatsoever! They are weird. Now come along kids! Lets go, and make some hamburgers!

Willow: W-What?

Jaune: Winter?

Winter: Yes?

Jaune: I know we may seem a bit weird. But, you need to remember this; You are a part of our family now. And, we will love, and protect both of you, even at the cost of our lives.

Winter: That’s… Thank you, Jaune, Jeanne.

Jaune: Our pleasure.

Jeanne: Now let’s go eat!

Winter: Yes lets. But, Jaune, can you help me with something first?

Jaune: With what?

Winter: Your… Our sister, Luna said I made it on the list. What list is she referring to?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Imma gonna get my spoon.

Jeanne: Jaune? Jaune don’t!

Jaune: I said if she made her way on to that list I was gonna shank one of you with a rusty spoon! Well guess what; its shanking time!

Jeanne: No wait! Jaune stop! WAAAAITTT!!!

Winter: …

Winter: This really is a weird family…

[lakesbian]

okay so 2.8. overall thoughts on rachel's introduction.

rachel not wanting a fifth person to join the team is ostensibly about the money she would lose from it, but it's more importantly about the fact that, as a disabled girl deeply unwanted by society, she has absolutely no trust in people. she can tolerate brian, lisa, and alec for the sake of the security and stability, but she doesn't trust them beyond the bare minimum. a strange person being brought into her house is deeply scary. she's used to every single new person she meets being a threat, someone with motives she can't read expecting her to operate based on arbitrary rules she can't understand. and because she has been taught that the only way to keep herself safe is to hurt people before they can hurt her (everyone will always want to hurt her), her immediate reaction to taylor Being There is to sic her dogs on taylor with hopes of scaring her off & securing her environment again. rachel autism lindt <3

brian is the second person we see breaking out the not-so-repressed violence and anger in this scene. he clocks rachel in the face, he says

“I fucking hate it,” Brian growled at the girl, putting emphasis on the swear, “When you make me do that.”

and he does some yelling about God Fucking Dammit. i think the crux of brian is that he consciously fervently does not want to be like his abusive stepfather, but the only alternative he's been taught was by his father...who is, unbeknownst to brian, also abusive. he's been taught that masculinity = good + mandatory and strength = masculine. his vision for himself as a Good Man who Takes The Lead and Cares For People involves stifling his 'weak' emotions and running himself ragged. he's not even very good at repressing himself compared to the other undersiders, so he's prone to outbursts like this sometimes--where, regardless of whether or not the violence he's engaging in is rationally justifiable, it's immensely charged w/ undertones of reminding him of exactly who he wants to avoid being.

it is Fully Understandable why, as a 17yo w/ zero training in conflict deescalation, the only way he can think to solve the matter of rachel violently siccing her dogs on someone is socking her. but "i fucking hate it when you make me do that" is still eerily reminiscent of some things his abusive stepfather has likely said to him before. he doesn't Want to be like that, but he doesn't know how to let himself be anything other than that.

(this situation w/ rachel and taylor sucks for him, ftr. he was so genuinely elated that he'd Acted Normal Enough to snap up this cool addition to the team, a girl with a good power who actively thinks along the exact same rational lines as him. which is important, because he needs the undersiders to succeed so that he can care for aisha like he feels he needs to. and then rachel busts in ruins what he's viewing as this great success by attacking taylor to drive her off. brian laborns bad day. rachel lindts bad day. tayor heberts bad day. lisa wilbourns deeply stressful day. alec vasils depression slump day.)

AND we get to watch taylor be violent and angry as well. that one is very simple there's not much to say about it. she's full of violent repressed anger (it's why she imagines beating the shit out of emma & co when she's being bullied in the halls prior to meeting the undersiders again), she usually holds it back because she recognizes that it would just cause the system to fuck her over more in the long-run, and here she realizes that there's no consequence of fighting back and proceeds to whale on rachel.

(i think that the reason she's primarily violent with her own human body here instead of w/ the bugs is because her usage of the bugs is frequently a form of dissociation--and here, rather than having to dissociate her way thru a violent situation, she's finally allowed to confront it head on and fight back w/ hands and feet As Herself. sucks and traumatizing to be attacked by dogs, but cathartic to be able to fight back.)

meanwhile: lisa is presumably vividly imagining slamming her own head into a brick wall and alec (badly depressed, seen far worse) doesnt even care with all the shit he's got going on

[stedelovemail]

just unleashed a lot of General S2 Thoughts on twitter but i'll crosspost them here too. a lot of it is me agreeing with things that have already been said. ineloquent love-fueled criticism in here

i am still on my initial first 3 episodes reaction that everything is too fast; it's unfortunate that there are only 8 episodes this time and they're trying to put so much into them at the cost of good pacing and satisfying arcs because this show deserves better than that. i/we all know it COULD be better and that's exactly what we want for it, but alas: max.

i'd probably have stronger reactions if they had more time to flesh out everything they're trying to do – if i had more time to process everything they're trying to do 😭 there still is a lot i'm enjoying, though. the main relationship of course; most of everything w/ the crew, especially when they aren't separated! bc i'm kind of sad about the swede being apart from everyone, and now buttons too.

and archie: she's definitely likeable but we still really don't know much about her, let alone enough to really feel the connection between her and jim…? meanwhile olu and zheng are indeed a "well they're cute!" situation but i don't understand why they're doing it after how big of A Thing jim and olu were in s1. they were the secondary protagonists. now they have less screentime and importance it seems. and who do we have getting more of that instead… oh boy.

i really wish they didn't embrace the fandom white guy favoritism bc izzy's arc is just. insane. mindboggling. completely different character here, plucked straight from woobie fanon to replace his canon self. they want us to fill in the gaps re: development we didn't actually see, but i can't. it was so annoying watching the fandom push oluwande and jim aside to claim that izzy was the third most important/main character, and now they might as well have just done that. it was annoying to see the fandom apply ed's traits and development to izzy in order to sympathize with him, and now they've kinda done that too.

zero acknowledgment (as of right now) of shit he did and now i have to just remember the silk dressing gown dialogue while izzy comes up to ed wearing another robe in bed with stede and congratulates them on having sex?? being in drag after he was the most femphobic motherfucker throughout s1? getting to sing (and ruin that whole scene) to an admiring crew after the whole 'give us another song eddie!" thing that was torn away from ed in s1e10? i'm so over this. i wish he had just gotten worse bc who's this man being so kind and open and giving RELATIONSHIP ADVICE out of nowhere, he's gone from tolerable to completely unbearable for me which sucks with how much screentime he has now. like, go away already.

anyway there's still the finale to hopefully fix some things. i'm not overly worried about ed and stede since it's already obvious they're gonna reunite, but i am a lil worried about how the VERY end will be. david promised something satisfying though, so….. agh…..

[ronaldofandom]

Salaar is the most average shit I have seen in a while.

Same old KGF style sets, slow-mo shots, god like hero hitting 50 men together and all flying in the air at the same time.

It’s all about 4 action scenes (which are quite average), the rest leads up to it in the most lethargic way. Zero story.

Only emotion is either stone-like (Prabhas) or over the top loud (mother, villains, kids) or outright dumb (Shruti).

Shruti gets attacked twice but she still goes to the market alone a third time. Such brilliant writing.

Never wanted to think of Prabhas as a bad actor but dear lord, every single thing since Bahubali has been atrocious.

Don’t even wanna say anything about Prashant Neel - he is one formula director and people are starting to get bored of it, as shown by Salaar’s underperformance in all languages except Telugu. Comparing him to Rajamouli is blasphemy.

I am dumbfounded to see some RRR fans liking and tripping over Salaar. After seeing the beautifully intricate and believable Dosti of RamBheem, how in the world did you feel anything for DevaVardha? No emotion there connected, nothing was believable.

The BGM is too loud. All songs suck, not a single one worth remembering.

Genuinely curious to know what is it you guys found tolerable (can’t even say liked) in this movie. Please pls do share.

[thefiresofpompeii]

i have a high tolerance for mediocre episodes because if they include even a smidgen of toxic doctor-companion relationship development i will lap that shit up, ignoring the fact that the episodic plot itself makes less than zero sense and involves an incredibly annoying kid or several. see: in the forest of the night when clara asks the doctor to leave her to die because she doesn’t want to end up like him; fear her where the isolus and chloe’s parasitic union is a foil for the tragic codependency tenrose have

your science sucks and your plotholes are many but a story is driven by the protagonists and boy are they getting along like a house on fire

[rottorex]

Maybe something a little bit like Snake bites

Hmm 🤔 I can give you some NSFW Dom Obanai headcanons since his sexuality is what’s focused on in that fic. Still Obamitsu centered ofc bc we all know what I love writing.

Some of these might be a little contradictory and cringe, but y’all get me I know you do. Some time has passed since I wrote snake bites and my thoughts of their smex life has changed just a bit.

****I’m sure you know but if you didn’t, anon is speaking in ref to this old oneshot of mine. (Shameless plug bc I actually recently edited/revamped it)

🔞minors DNI im so serious. I’m mean and annoying I will block u. Minors deserve a space online! Just not here while I’m talkin bout’ sex

Ignore the typos this is for fun!

Dominant Obanai HC’s

In my mind, Obanai is the ultimate final boss of switches. This man holds zero preference in whether he Tops or bottoms bc he really only cares about one thing. Her

Indiscriminate Giver and body worshiper. He’s almost entirely focused on making Mitsuri feel pretty and desirable. Heavy handed with his groping. Likes to squeeze at her breasts and slap her ass. Prefers to bite and suck on her inner thighs. The skin there is unfathomably soft. It feels good between his teeth and they’re sensitive enough to make her twitch.

Him being a switch aside, if he’s topping her…well 👀

Service Dom, I cannot stress this enough. Can get borderline sadistic with how many Orgasms he’s determined to give her. Half of his motivations for it is just getting off on pleasing her. The other half is the need to fuel his ego. Maybe even prove to himself that he’s good enough. He wants to be the only one who can make her feel good. Very good

Will use any and everything to get her off. His mouth, his fingers- one of the tens of toys and contraptions hes bought her. (He fantasies about getting her one of those fuck machines.)

Refuses to give her any dick unless she’s over stimulated and only has one O’ left in her.

Obsessed with eating pussy (you’d need a crowbar to pry him off of her). Has a slightly humiliating habit of cumming in his pants prematurely from getting too excited over it. Will suck her clit till she’s grabbing a fistful of his hair and pulling him off.

In love with every aspect of her, from her body to the core of her being. That being said…her body? Divine. Perfection.

Loves to watch her masturbate sometimes. Wont even touch himself. just watches to obsess over how gorgeous she is.

I know everyone thinks he’s a boob guy, and I see it! Especially if he’s in a bottoming for her and she’s just smothering him. He loves that shit. But in my mind he loves every part of her equally…and then her thighs just the smallest bit more.

She’s got a lot of insecurities, she’s a bit anxious, and he has a zero tolerance rule for any negativity towards his partner. And Mitsuri is not exempt from that. Meaning even a hushed comment about her looking bad is reprimanded later.

Will withhold orgasms until she repeats whatever gushy praises he’s cooked up for her. She wants to cum? Not until calls herself a pretty girl.

Makes her watch herself. He loves having her masturbate infront of mirrors. Or even positions the both of them to where she has to watch him fuck her.

A bit of a call back to him liking to watch her: On rare occasions, when he’s in the mood for a little quick action, he’ll fuck her face. Because yes her mouth feels so good on him, but oh does she look so cute with a messy face and runny makeup. Will happily cum on her if she asks for it.

He’s not a fan of hitting, that’s his princess, tf 🤨. But sometimes she’ll request for him to handle her roughly, and he will comply because she asked him to. He tried slapping her in the face once and immediately cried over it. Apologized 4000 times despite Mitsuri literally saying “hit me” 30 seconds prior.

[strang3lov3]

Thank you for the tag @bean-is-reading ❤️

Tag Game!

last song - arctic monkeys, too much to ask

favourite color- light blue

last movie/show — show was dexter, movie was the nice guys

sweet/spicy/savory - idk! Not spicy though I was blessed with zero spice tolerance. The one spicy thing I’d indulge in was hot Cheetos and I vomited those up recently. Fucking sucks feeling that shit in your nose all mixed with stomach acid!

relationship status - ENGAGED MOTHAFUCKASSSS!! Been with him since 2019

last thing i googled - sex.com (thanks @noxturnalpascal)

current obsession - cookie butter (thanks @noxturnalpascal), Pedro obv, Dexter bc I forgot how dearly I love that show, chuckle sandwich podcast, cheese fries, oiling my hair, planning more tattoos, the list goes on.

Ima tag @joelsgreys @cupofjoel @beardedjoel all the Joel’s and @beefrobeefcal @tightjeansjavi @noxturnalpascal @sweetenerobert @cavillscurls @addictedtotlou and @atticrissfinch

[teekays]

Davo for the character ask thing please!

this one took me so long because i have THINGS to SAY. i have cried in an airport over connor mcdavid. lets begin

First impression

i will be so real when i first got into hockey i totally fell for the like... this guy is the BEST agenda. mostly because i think i noticed that the praise he got was SO strong and i wanted to know what made him so good as opposed to other guys but i also noticed he got a lot of hate for being boring and i was like... they're all boring. why do we hate him for being boring specifically? and that led me on a quest to tease out The Connor Mcdavid Story

Impression now

i'm a mcdefender sorry. i know!! he's the most interesting guy in the world actually. like he IS boring but that is so clearly a purposeful obfuscation of whatever else he's got going on there that he developed because of course you're not going to just have your heart out there in the open as a first overall who's been hyped up for years as the Next One placed on a flop team in a flop city... it's also interesting to have seen that kind of relax a little bit in recent years and i think that relaxing is directly parallel to him becoming a little less like. black and white in his thinking which he very much was for a long time. like he's someone with a very strong sense of right and wrong and very strong ideas about How Things Should Be Done and as that has loosened up (because that's not conducive to like, being alive yknow) and as he's gotten more secure in his position he's gotten a little more willing to put himself out there which is fun. the morals thing does come out sometimes tho in that he will speak up if he feels like he needs to in the name of fairness. also i find his like, earnestness and the ways he's different than the nepo babies of the hockey world to be deeply charming even when they suck. like he's a shill grinding for his money but he's honest about it and i have to respect it. make your terrible millions and have a zero tolerance policy for being irreverent and Too Cool for the media while doing it. go white boy go

Favorite moment

sitting on mitch's lap in the everglades was a foundational babygirlism but also. right after the draft i don't remember who it was but little baby connor freshly in that oilers jersey was like "why are you ripping him to shreds rn he literally just got drafted" it makes my heart break into a million pieces i feel like when spongebob lost gary. because that's sooo... it's not him anymore really. but it will always be him and who he was.

Idea for a story

my sick and twisted mind has been percolating Mccareer ending injury for so long because i would like to see him freed from the shackles of hockey and having to build a life outside of what that means to him. who is connor mcdavid? find out next week when he escapes to a beach for a week and hates it

Unpopular opinion

say it with me now. estrogen could fix him! but also once again i think he is much less miserable than people want to think and if he is then it's justified. he lives in edmonton. you'd be sad too. also i covered this but he's actually a little freak and not boring at all if you know how to look at him!!!

Favorite relationship

i'm a mcstrome warrior til i die hashtag Your dead best friend is walking up the stairs hashtag I ain't a kid no more we'll never be those kids again. that being said i think also him and leon should get married. and another thing this may be also an unpopular opinion BUT i am actually so obsessed w ambitious girlboss lauren kyle and the way she so clearly runs their whole lives and he's so deeply okay with that... i think a common hockey boy trait is kind of always wanting to be told what to do because that's what you've done your whole life but to see someone quietly own it that way is so fun to me. i think she should lean into it and be like the tweet that's like "if two guys were in love with me i would manipulate them into doing gay shit together"/"if i had two boyfriends i'd dress them up like twins" with connor and leon and like leon is there for connor's benefit but she makes him think it's her idea so as not to upset the delicate balance. yknow?

Favorite headcanon

this is also from what we've seen mostly based in fact but he's absolutely dogshit at other sports. like. some guys are athletes and other guys are hockey players and he is absolutely a hockey player to his core. hilarious

[dwangan-wonpwa]

here's a negative-leaning rant about saiouma, or more about the amount of content about it. read if you really want to (read more included, because i know it would be a pain in the ass to try to scroll and ignore a post like this)

(also tl;dr at the end... i should've pasted it here but uh-)

-🔎🎲-

i ship saiouma… sometimes. i used to love this pairing a lot, and it's what prompted me to love ouma more and more. but because of ouma being my favorite character, i decided to check out other pairings; from oumota, kiibouma, and oumeno, to irouma, oumami, and ougoku (side note: i can't really blame people for seeing this as problematic, but i truly don't believe it to be "toxic" or "abusive"). they're all really good ships which have my whole heart, so i focused on them more frequently, and took a break from saiouma. i even gave ouharu a shot, and yes, there's a lot of hate there, and i do prefer them to at least have a begrudging friendship, but like. it's interesting okay

of course, saiouma is the most popular ouma ship there is. seriously, it has around 4000 more works on ao3 than oumota, the second most popular. this is because it's the protag x antag ship, like komahina (which, holy shit, it has 5846 works on the sdr2 tag, while kuzupeko, the second most popular, has 987). so, being an ouma multi-shipper, who thinks saiouma is a decent ship but isn't that fixated about it anymore, seeing said ship pretty much everywhere? yeah, i was bound to get sick of it. well, not the pairing itself, mind you, but rather how oversaturated it was in my eyes.

it got to the point where, if i saw saiouma tagged in a fic, no matter how promising i thought the summary was, i would groan and try to motivate myself into reading it. like, if it had the same premise, but had a different ship/no ship at all, i would read it in a heartbeat. even if ouma was shipped with a character i had zero care about, then sure, i don't mind. (well, there certainly are exceptions, i have to admit)

yeah, that might sound a bit immature, but it's not like i won't read saiouma fics no matter what. it's just that oftentimes i simply can't gather the motivation to indulge in the pairing, if that makes sense. so it's a bit tiring when i keep seeing it when i really don't feel like it.

-🔎🎲-

there's also the thing with their dynamic. they're foils for truth and lies, yes, i can't deny that. but i feel like the main appeal of the ship is the fact that "saihara is a detective, and ouma is the personification of a mystery!"

…except, saihara kinda sucks at figuring ouma out? yeah, he can catch on to ouma's lies better than others, but if i remember correctly, that's only in the ftes/bonus modes. in the canon storyline, he couldn't realize that, hey, ouma is a liar, and his lying patterns tend to be quite complicated! that means he can lie about whether or not he's lying! but nope, let's just believe his claims to be the mastermind, because he's the only one cruel enough to manipulate a murder into happening without remorse, so there's no need to consider any other possibility besides the one he conveniently laid out for them. oh, not to mention the points that he makes occasionally, but they come from ouma, so there's no use to thinking about the validity of such statements.

saihara, you are an incredible detective, and you are the furthest thing to undeserving of your ultimate, but i don't think behavioral patterns are up your alley. i don't think saihara hates him, as he's more capable of tolerating him than most, but sometimes it's like he gets dumbed down for the sake of making ouma the antagonist.

(the saiouma fics i used to read had saihara getting flustered as a result of ouma's advances and "flirting," but in canon, he doesn't have much of a reaction to ouma's "my beloved" comments about him, at least, that's what i remember. i don't think "but the canon!" is a good reason for not shipping something, so this part is pretty minor, but i just had to point it out.)

-🔎🎲-

as i'm writing this, i realized: holy shit, when i first started to like ouma, i only got into saiouma because it was the most popular ouma ship. the only unique traits that charmed me about the pairing was saihara's ability to see through ouma's lies, and the sudden boldness he'd exhibit, but aside from that? i essentially treated the former as a blank canvas (sorry, saihara), only wanting some shippy ouma content. but after going through other pairings, those "unique" traits weren't so unique after all (a very good example is oumota. while yes, he trusts the notion he has of ouma, telling him he's a bad, untrustworthy person, he's still perceptive. this is shown by the way he's the only one who acknowledges the change in ouma's behavior in chapter 4. his boldness is also more prominent than saihara's, as well). how ironic that i'm starting to have a problem related with the ship because of the same thing that got me invested in the first place.

oh, but it's not like the aforementioned "detective and enigma" dynamic can't happen. we can be canon defiant and improve saihara's ability to understand and unravel ouma for the sake of bettering the ship. (ooh, and the methods of how he'll do so… fluctuating between analysis for ouma's lies and just spending time with him so that he'll open up at his own pace…)

so, it's not exactly a bland ship, but there are others that are more interesting to me, and deserve to have just as much popularity as saiouma does, in my opinion.

-🔎🎲-

tl;dr: in my opinion, saiouma's a decent ship, however, it's popularity is a bit undeserved when you take other pairings into account. i don't dislike it, but as someone who isn't that passionate about it, it annoys me how much content there is, while ships that i felt had equal amount of, if not more captivating dynamics weren't as popular due to the fact that saiouma was the protag x antag pairing.