you-cant-be-sirius

[you-cant-be-sirius]

James: We’re having a moment, aren’t we?

Regulus: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

Sirius: This food is too hot... I can't eat it.

Remus: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence*

James: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Regulus: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

[you-cant-be-sirius]

Regulus: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.

Sirius: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

Evan: Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!

Pandora: But I'm a vegan.

Evan: Wakey wakey vegetables and sadness.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

James: I desire moisture.

Remus: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

James: Hold the fuck up. Regulus: Excuse me? James: I said hold the fuck up. Regulus: ... James: I'm the fuck up, hold me.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

Dorcas: Marls, I have a great idea. Marlene: Let's hear it. Dorcas: We trick Mary and Lily into going on a date together. Marlene: YES! Marlene: And hey, if that doesn't work out, maybe you and me could go out, get some drinks- Dorcas, hitting Marlene with a book: THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

Barty: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve. Pandora: I think you mean tricks. Evan: He did not. Barty, pulling out knives: I did not.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

James: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Regulus: What changed your mind?

James: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

Sirius: Anything else?

Remus: Yeah. Stay away from me!

Sirius: Alright. See you in the room we share.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

Evan: There's no way he likes me back.

Regulus: Barty would throw himself in front of a moving train for you.

Evan: Barty would throw himself in front of a moving train for fun.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

*at the marauders' New Year party*

James: Can I have your number?

Regulus, visibly texting: I don't have a phone.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

Remus: Are you drunk?

Sirius: Only on the spirit of Christmas!

James: And the spirit of firewhisky.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

James: What are you drinking? Regulus: Vodka. James: Straight? Regulus: No, gay. Why?

[you-cant-be-sirius]

Regulus: What's that? Remus: Chocolate. Regulus: What's chocolate? Remus: A type of sweet confectionary? Do you not have sweets where you're from? Regulus: Yeah. Grapes, nuts. Remus: No wonder you're so bloody bitter.

[you-cant-be-sirius]

Sirius: What's it like being tall?

Sirius: Is it nice?

Sirius: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

James: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Regulus: It was one time!

[you-cant-be-sirius]

Regulus: You know, James, you are the sun in my life.

James: Why? Cause I'm smoking hot?

Regulus: Because it hurts my eyes to look at you.