anotherwillgrahamkinnie

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

okay Hannibal au where everything is exactly the same except Hannibal owns a bunch of cats and anytime Will comes over they all try to cuddle up on him even though he absolutely despises cats with a burning passion and Hannibal just watches it happen trying not to laugh because of how disgusted Will looks.

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

hannibal: are you drunk?

will, very clearly drunk: i’m not drunk

hannibal: can you tell the time?

will: *turns to the clock, leans in, and points*

will: i’m not fucking drunk

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

okay is it really too much to ask for a manipulative cannibalistic murderer to come kill someone with me, get severely injured in the process, hold me while we’re covered in blood in the moonlight, and then fall off a cliff with me???

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

Hannibal: is it because i’m gay?

Jack: no you’re locked up because you’re a criminal

Hannibal: it’s because i fucked Will isn’t it?

Jack: no it’s because you literally killed peop-

Hannibal: homophobia isn’t cool Jack.

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

some people just look great covered in blood

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

eating someone so you can forgive them and move on from your past traumatic experiences with them as well as get a tasty meal the 100% the absolute HIGHEST form of self care and you cannot argue with me.

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

I REALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE ABOUT TO KISS 😭🤚🏻

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Folie à deux

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

hannibal: stay with me.

will: where else would i go?

and that kids is what we call homosexuality

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

*to the tune of fireflies by owl city*

“you would not believe your eyes if 10 million tethered flies carried my corpse into the sky”

- will graham probably

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

money is weird because 50 bucks is really cheap for a flute but super expensive for a kazoo. make it make sense.

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

i forgot what tofu was called and called it porn instead. i have no clue how the two correlate but i can now safely say i’m the dumbest person i’ve ever met.

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

it’s time. halloween is here.

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

so picture this. it’s 6:30 pm and i’m making coffee in a (large) jack-in-the-box styrofoam cup. as i’m getting the oakmilk out of my refrigerator i have the sudden urge to speak. out of all of the possible things that could’ve been said my brain decided that the following phrase was the perfect choice of words to describe my current state of being

“i like my men the way i like my coffee. iced and full of milk.”

and that my friends is why i’m currently crying wbu

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

I had a really frickin weird dream about this bitch ass motherfucker about a year ago and I think of it every day of my life.

I was in an empty room, the only light came from a single window on the ceiling above a stone statue of this dude. I felt very uneasy and fearful. I tried to find a door and the statues cold, glimmering eyes followed me wherever I went. I didn’t look away from its face once in my search for an exit. I finally looked away and a horrible feeling bubbled up in my stomach. When I turned back around the statue was right there in front of me. My voice wouldn’t work so I couldn’t scream. I remember falling down to the floor shaking. That’s when the statue leaned down and whispered words I’ll never forget. In an icy, evil voice it said “You left your heart unlocked and let a filthy rat in. A filthy rat who will waste nothing but your time and tears. You also left the stove on. Your water is boiling.” I woke up in a cold sweat to discover, indeed I had left the stove on and the water was boiling.

I only just now realized that bitch was the purple fucking kangaroo from backyardigans.

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

Look at this emoji

☹️

It perfectly conveys so many different emotions yet they all boil down to pure displeasure.

It’s so....

Satisfying

[anotherwillgrahamkinnie]

Here’s your friendly reminder that mayonnaise is just spicy milk jello