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kooorey403 · 12 days ago

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Honestly, Bernard already has a whole villain backstory. I love the idea that he started it after he finds out tim is red robin- but it would be so funny if it was completely unrelated. Like while Bernard was in the cult of dionysus or something, he starts being Smiley as a way to like de-stress that doesn't involve pain and hating himself. And Smiley could be doing like stupid pranks and games all across Gotham - and his whole gimmick is wanting people to smile or some goofy shit like that.

And then his pranks start becoming more and more dramatic (coloring a an entire street bright pink, somehow glitter bombs planted in every drawer of the police station, outfiting an entire warehouse for his birthday party (the warehouse was not abandoned)(the workers were the semi-unwilling attendees)(it was not his birthday)) he catches the attention of the local vigilantes. Now, before he realizes Tim is Red Robin, the one who deals with him usually is Steph. Mostly because this seems right up her alley (also bc you know she's /spoiling/ his fun, haha- though by this point shes probably bat girl and not spoiler anyways).

Though, as he and Tim reconnect and become closer, Bernard is like... Wow, my boyfriend is totally a Vigilante, what the hell. And thus began Smiley's endless quest to get Red Robin to deal with him.

"Hey, lovely Purple, is Red around by chance?"

"Nah, man."

"That's too bad."

Steph comes into the cave covered in green glitter. Everyone is bewildered, Smiley's never targeted them before, if anything he seemed to go out of his way to not have them caught up in his pranks. But it continues to happen again and again.

"Purple again..."

"Why do you sound so diappointed!?"

"Red's my favorite color."

She gets him with her uniform somehow rainbow dyed. She won't tell them what happened. They begin to realize that Smiley won't stop asking after Red Robin.

"Do you know if-"

"NO. RED ROBIN IS NOT HERE TONIGHT, DAMMIT!"

When Steph enters the cave, she's shoved into the containment chamber used only for the worst, most contagious diseases contracted. That stink bomb was no joke.

They're completely dumbfounded at Smiley's new obsession with Red Robin. Steph is having the worst time. Tim insists on just dealing with Smiley and getting it over with. Bruce absolutely refuses to let him ...something about a villain whose theme is smiling being obsessed with a certain vigilante is familiar... Tim doesn't agree. Smiley's MO has never been to actively cause harm. It was just to be fucking annoying.

But, safety first, and the bats sort of share Bruce's opinion of the situation. None of them think he's a Joker in the making, but they dont like Smiley's fixation on Red Robin at all. Steph is absolutely done with dealing with him, so she's delighted to let the others swoop in to see Smiley for themself.

"Blue, you've flown rather far from home, haven't you?"

"I heard there was a smile I needed to turn upside down."

"Well, that's just rude."

Dick gets doused in water, and a purple goop gets dumped onto him. It isn't until later that they realize the goop is actually semi permanent hair dye. Dick gets placed on house arrest for a few days because of the stains on his skin, and they have to neutralize the purple with yellow dye. (Though, he'll swear his hair shines purple in light for months.)

"Ah, it seems there's a problem."

"The problem is you've fucking covered the Narrows in ribbons! Where the fuck did you get all of this shit!?"

"No, I mean that Red is already taken. I'm not sure what to call you. Speaking of Red... Has he been hiding from me? I haven't seen his little cape in months..."

"You're fucking creepy. You know that, right?"

Bernard ends up calling him Helmet. Jason hates him. Especially when he gets home believing himself unscathed, only to find out the back of his helmet had somehow managed to gain a large heart gem sticker.

"Yellow, isn't it past your bedtime, young man?"

"I can make exceptions."

"Just for little old me?"

Duke got covered in baby blue colored powder. Bernard used a lot more than he probably needed to. The highlight of the night was when Duke sneezed and sent a comically large cloud of blue dust everywhere. Bernard got a good laugh out of that.

Damian is absolutely flabbergasted that his siblings have managed to be bested like this. He demands to see Smiley for himself. Dick caves pretty quickly and agrees to take him.

"Oh, Blue, babysitting tonight?"

Damian hates Smiley. Bernard narrowly avoids getting stabbed in the stomach by the little Batling multiple times. Nightwing scolds him for excessive use of force. So, Bernard sort of feels bad for using itching powder on the two of them. But only a little.

When Batman goes to see Smiley, Bernard keeps his mouth completely shut. He doesn't really have the guts to taunt him. The trap he had set up for the unsuspecting vigilante of the night was simple but effective. Bernard almost doesn't use it on him- terrified of the repercussions. But he manages to work up the will to do it at the last minute.

Which is how the bat suit gets splattered in polka dots of hot pink paint. Every bat worth their salt managed to snap a photo of it.

Cass was perfectly content to stand back and watch all of this unfold. Personally, she had shown up to observe Smiley after the first time Steph showed up covered in green glitter. Though she never told anyone, she likes him. He was fun, and he enjoyed bringing joy to others, even if he seemed to have a little sadness hanging over him for some reason.

She watched his silent showdown against Bruce, completely enthralled. They were both speaking her favorite language, after all. Afterwards, she quietly joins Bruce, hopping through rooftops. They share a moment of silence before she speaks.

"He likes you."

"Hn."

"He respects you."

"He's dangerous."

She just tilts her head at the pink polka dotted man.

"The feats he's managed to accomplish in such a short a mount of time without being noticed, somehow without leaving any trails behind, are unprecedented. He's an unknown. Volatile. Unpredictable."

She shakes her head. "He won't hurt Tim."

Bruce grunts. "Names."

"He likes him."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

Despite the conversation ending there, Red Robin is finally given the green light to deal with Smiley.

"Do not actively seek him out. If he's in your area you're fine to confront him, but only if it's nessacary."

Tim just hums in agreement, knowing that he plans to show up the second Smiley shows his face.

But for some reason... he isn't. Showing his face, that is. Weeks go by without even so much as a mention of Smiley's name.

Bernard was considerably spooked by Bruce. And it's embarrassing to admit, but it wasn't until Batman showed up that he realized that the reason he wasn't seeing Tim out was most likely because they didn't want him talking to the mysterious rogue who kept asking after him.

Bernard was understandably put out by his monumentous blunder. He had just wanted to see his boyfriend in action! Was that too much to ask for?

So, he laid low for a few weeks, planning his return meticulously.

Turns out, Tim wouldn't have to seek him out at all.

Bernard was going to have fun with Tim as Smiley. His next prank was going to be his greatest one yet. part of it sort of verges on the edge of vigilantism, but it's the aftermath that's important.

See, the thing is, Red Robin had been doing recconaissnace on a certain small time drug operation. The reason Bernard knows about this is by happenstance, Tim left out a sketch of the logo they tattoo onto their runners.

Bernard often surveys areas for potential pranks and games. At some point, he accidentally stumbles upon a group of people who all have certain tattoo visible on their shoulders.

Originally, Bernard was planning on suggesting he and Tim get dinner in that area so he could spot something or maybe even just dropping the information on one of the vigilantes as Smiley. However, he had a plan now.

So, he manages to time it just right, right on the day Red Robin busts a small abandoned office building being used to manufacture the drugs.

Tim wasn't thinking about Smiley at all. His mind was on more pressing issues, like the solo drug bust mission he gave himself. He really should've called for back up, but he figured it would be an in and out situation- call the cops and cause enough of a ruckus that the cops have a reason to enter and then arrest the people there. But when he bursts through the window, he finds the room has been covered in red and silver glitter. The criminals all unconscious. And for some reason they're tied up with bows? Silk ribbons and streamers hang from the ceiling.

'What the...'

"Hi, Red." The voice is from behind him, and Tim whips around with his staff in front of him- jumping away from the speaker.

"Did you like my present?" Smiley tilts his head towards the men tied up.

"Smiley," Tim says in lieu of answering.

"It's been so long since I've seen you, Red." Well, not that long, Tim was in Bernard's apartment just that morning, he stayed the night as an apology for not being able to make it to their Friday date night. Which was tonight, actually. Looks like he was able to make it, after all.

"The last time I saw you, you didn't even speak to me." Bernard theatrically slumps forward in despair before looking up and crossing his arms over his chest, attempting to appear dramatically grumpy. "It's rude to ignore people, you know."

The last time Bernard saw Tim as Red Robin was also the first time, before Bernard knew Tim was Red Robin. Tim had been with Spoiler, sepersting when they saw whatever shenanigans Bernard was up to that night.

"What do you want?" Tim bites out. Honestly, it was rather impressive that Smiley had managed to do all of this on his own. Though the fact that he presumably did it for Tim was a bit creepy. It's insane that he knew Tim was investigating this group, let alone where they were operating- getting here before Tim... Hell, he even somehow knew that Tim was doing the drug bust today and alone.... Let's just say Tim is not looking forward to giving his report to Bruce tonight.

"Oh, Red." Smiley practically purrs. "I just want you to smile."

And then he lunges forward as if to grab Tim, although there's not any genuine intent on Bernard's part. Bernard has never been the best at fighting. His only claim to fame in this respect is his extremely high pain tolerance. It's easy to brush off the bruises and cuts he gets, and he never flinches. It gives him an edge. Especially since when he gets into a fight, his goal is always to get away rather than to win.

Bernard plays the same game he always does, swiftly dodging all of Tim's strikes, backing away- slowly leading the vigilante to right where he wants them.

The place Bernard wants him is the roof, which is a few floors up. Because of this, Tim immediately realizes something is up as they near the stairwell.

He jumps back, away from Smiley, staff held in front of him defensively. "What's your game, Smiley!?"

At this, Smiley just laughs, standing up straight with his hands folded behind his back.

"I don't know, my dear Red..." Smiley slowly pulled something out of his back pocket before presenting it to Tim. "Why don't you find out?"

In between Bernard's thumb and index finger is a detonator. It's long to be held comfortably in one's fist and, Bernard's favorite part, it has a dramatically red button on one end. Recognition and horror blooms on Tim's face and Bernard turns around and sprints up the stairs.

Tim follows with a shout, and Bernard can hear him speaking into his comms below him beneath the sounds of them moving through the stairwell. Bernard jumps over the railings, and hops through multiple steps at a time. He's determined to get this prank right.

The door to the roof is open, just like he left it. And as he makes it out there, Tim slams into his back. It's a minor hiccup. Originally, Bernard had planned to make it out onto the roof more smoothly. He was going to dramatically turn to Tim as he made it to the top, detonator in his fist, he'd planned a whole speech. Not everything can be perfect, though.

Tim and he struggle there, Bernard firmly holding onto the Detonator. Tim grabs the wrist of the hand that Bernard is gripping it with, and Bernard has a hilarious thought- he doesn't need to be standing to press it! Duh.

His thumb slams down on the button with a resounding click.

"Fuck!" Tim curses, throwing himself off of Smiley, making a run for the edge of the roof- but as he gets there he sees a light shooting up from a few buildings away, and exploding in a sparkling light show of red and white.

Fireworks.

Tim stands there, dumbfounded, as more and more fireworks light up the sky. The other bats are screaming in his ear, demanding to know what's going on.

"It's... It's just fireworks."

There's a light chuckle from beside him, and Tim jumps and turns to see Smiley standing there beside him.

"What else would it be?" Bernard asks Tim, knowing damn well what else Tim thought it would be.

The adrenaline crash from believing the building he was in was going to explode is what makes sure Tim doesn't immediately start running or fighting.

"I told you I just wanted to see you smile."

And Tim seriously feels insane, standing there with fireworks going off in Gotham in the middle of the night. It's the incredulity of the situation that makes him laugh, just a touch hysterically.

The fireworks that light up the sky bathe Tim in an orange flash of light reminiscent of a sunset. And watching his smile stretch across his face, hearing his laugh ring through the night... Bernard almost falls in love with him all over again.

Tim shakes his head at him, giving Smiley a scathing look that's completely ruined by the smile on his lips.

"What?" Smiley waves a dismissive hand, but still sounding delighted. "Come on, why would I blow up a building I was in? Why would I blow up a building you were in?"

Tim could honestly think of a few reasons, the main being the weird obsession Smiley seems to have on him. Double bomber suicide seems right up the alley of Gotham crazy.

Soon, though police sirens ring through the night. Bernard turns toward the sound. "Ah, that's my cue to leave, Red."

"I still have to apprehend you, you know," Tim tuts.

"I think you should check on your drug dealers, Red." Bernard turns back towards him as Tim makes a questioning noise.

"Well, I did tie them up with silk ribbons... they're rather slippery. And to get them unconscious, I just drugged their food with sleeping pills, so they probably woke up already because of the noise." Bernard points to the fireworks.

Tim stares at him. Then, he lets out a heavy sigh and he runs back to the door into the office.

"Good luck getting the glitter out of your costume!" Bernard yells after him ominously, for extra affect.

The sleeping pills he used were no joke, those criminals definitely did not wake up from the noise of the fireworks. There was no glitter trap waiting for him either. Though there was one for the cops on the first floor.

Bernard chuckles as he makes his way down the fire escape. His only regret is that he can't see the look on his boyfriend's face as he realizes he's been tricked.

AND THAT'S A WRAP.

I hope you like it I literally spent my entire Friday on this. It was not supposed to be anywhere near this long... it just got away from me. Sorry for any spelling mistakes.

After this Tim becomes the main person who deals with Smiley, mostly because he's the only one who doesn't get covered in something when he confronts the rogue. Lol.

I like to think of this story as being very minimal angst, even though it is rather unrealistic that Tim would harbor no hard feelings at being tricked like this. Especially after Tim confesses that he's Red Robin and finds out Bernard has already known. Why wouldn't Bernard tell him?? Well, Bernard probably just thought it would be funny. I imagine Smiley is just a bit insane, well meaning, and definitely not evil... but that man is not right in the head. Love him to death, though.

Anyways lots of love to everyone!!!

Goodnight gng

Aaaand here's the sheet (The word is sheet? Idk- like... the info and a little characterization)

OKAY- before somebody throws punches, this was just a silly idea I got after seeing that beautiful art of Bernard and Tim hanging from a building and like- the moon is in the background and BERNARD LOOKS STUNNING

Anyway, I saw that and immediately thought "Damn, it kinda has kaito kid vibes with the doves and the suit... WAIT" and it was like my brain just melted. Especially remembering how the first introduction of Bernard shows him, I put his hair of that moment as a wink lol

And before somebody says "Uhm ☝🏻🤓 this couldn't work because Bernard will never do that and Tim is like, the best detective so he would find out immediately and" IT'S FANON, IT'S FUCKING FANON, GODDAMNIT LET THE FANDOM ACT LIKE A FANDOM. Go read a comic if you want something canon 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

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