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Pov: ur kon and ur fuckass bf keeps stealing ur shirts

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Quick sketch of tim having enough after his coffee spilt at WE

Found this as a refernce pic while looking for business men and just thought it fit😭😭

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Oops my finger slipped

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Late night Tim sketches

I have no idea what im doing so if anyone has digital art tips lmk :D

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Pov ur a gotham goon watching cams and this lil shit of the new robin shows up

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Started reading absolute flash and what is jensen ackles doing in here as barry

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The bats dont kill yeah yeah.

The bats dont kill because they dont know they kill. They as in the people and themselves.

Bruce has FULLY gaslit himself into thinking that jason would never kill a man.

Dick: jason has literally killed a man!!

Bruce: HE WOULD NEVER >:0

Jason: I WOULD NEVER

Bruce: SEE??

Dick pinching the bridge of his nose: what the fuck

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Damian brings in a litter of stray kittens, attached to all of them, named and mushy over them.

Bruce dedicates a room in the manor for the kittens to stay until theyre big enough to roam the manor.

When the Batkids all realise Bruce is so tooth rottingly supportive of his family, they start a competition to test just how far this support goes.

Jason makes tshirts with crude sayings and even cruder drawings on them.

Bruce wears them without question.

Tim makes an app that just tells you what your nut of the day is.

Bruce uses it everyday.

The rest of the clan try it themselves and only stop when Dick hires out a theatre and preforms a one man play slash interpretive dance for all the family.

Bruce is the only one to not pull out their phone or look bored even when the performance goes into its forth hour.

After that they realise there is no ceiling. They could do anything and Bruce will be behind them 100 percent.

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Imagine damian is on the couch, pole impaling him, jason is even concerned. But the rules shant be broken. If he dies there, that sucks. It was on the couch though, nothing you can do.

The world wnds when alfred sits on the couch. The whole batfam is confused as to what to do.

The Batcave has a “Do Not Talk To Me” couch. It’s sacred. It’s unspoken. It’s real.

okay so. picture this:

the batcave has one couch. it's in the corner. it’s hideous. it’s like beige or green or something equally offensive to every one of their aesthetics. no one likes the couch.

and that is exactly why it became sacred.

because one night jason just. drops onto it. full gear. bleeding. absolutely done with life. says nothing. doesn’t even take off the helmet. sits there in silence for 3 hours and then leaves.

next week tim uses it. sits there post-mission. face in hands. someone tries to ask if he’s okay and jason throws a batarang at them.

and thus it began.

Rules of the Do Not Talk To Me Couch:

You sit there? No one speaks to you.

You cry? No you didn’t.

You eat cold noodles off your chest at 4 a.m.? That’s sacred time.

If someone tries to comfort you? They are excommunicated for 12 hours.

Dick (sitting on the couch):

Damian: Grayson, are you—

Jason (from across the cave): HE’S ON THE COUCH.

Jason: I don’t make the rules.

Steph: You LITERALLY made the rules.

Jason: And I am the defender of the rules. There’s a difference.

one time damian storms in. covered in blood. absolutely furious. 10/10 rage goblin energy. throws his sword. marches to the couch. sits. arms crossed. steaming.

tim takes one look at him and goes: “i’m making tea.”

jason: “that’s acceptable. tea is allowed. talking is not.”

bonus:

once bruce sits on it.

and the ENTIRE CAVE goes silent.

tim literally freezes mid-typing. cass stops mid-flip. jason just mutters “oh shit.”

they all leave. immediately.

the couch is not ready for bruce.

extra bonus:

alfred vacuums around the couch. never says a word. leaves snacks in a silent offering. once placed a weighted blanket gently on jason’s shoulder. that’s different. he’s allowed.

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Kaldur gets dragged in by dick, and forced to express his feelings

killed by your own parent club, and it's cass, steph, and damian. jason appears every now and then like a guest appearance on a podcast.

meetings are the first friday of every month and it's basically art club

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Bart kidnapped: mom pick me up im scared

Kon the only one who can hear him:

Kon after picking him up: why didnt you use comms to call for help??

Bart: i didnt want dad to get upset :(

Kon: what???

Bart: tim was gonna get me pizza and i didnt want him to take it back

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I think tim knows about the fourth wall

they're so grown up 🥲

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Tims face really gives “i forced him into teaching me😼”

Sorry kyle. Gotta drive him insane first. Ask one of his kids😭

green lantern (1990) #71 (the one where kyle goes man i'm really new at this whole hero business. i wanna ask some established guys for advice. lemme ask batman first!) is really funny because like.

like... bruce...

if thats true, then what the fuck is this thing?

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I think the bats might just have some weird enchanted capes. Reminds me of in the og teen titans when dick talks about how his cape is fireproof.

His cape is also bulletproof.

On dicks first mission he was literally told to USE HIS CAPE when someone had a gun pointed at him.

So this low-key makes no sense but:

Bruce has a metagene. It is that any cape he wears has a pocket dimension. The robins have an uncontrollable urge to hide in it.

It doesn't even need to be a legitimate cape. He was playing superheroes with a besheet when he was seven, and he pulled a medieval battle axe out of it. The Wayne's have never owned a medieval battle axe. Alfred, Thomas and Martha were extremely confused and concerned about it's origins.

Yes, I know Bruce isn't a meta. But it'd be really funny if he was. Especially with such a specific, weird power. That's how he fits all the stuff in his cape.

Like, snacks, and weapons, and Tim swears that one time he saw him just make a whole motorcycle appear from it.

Dick was cold on patrol once, and Bruce opened his cape, and just thought nothing of the fact that Dick just disappeared into it, dismissed it as a result of a really heavy warm cape.

Dick found himself in a warm, cozy, dark place, and immediately decided to go there as much as possible. He then told Jason, who didn't believe him at first but then found himself in the pocket dimension and was like "fuck yeah this is awesome".

He didn't tell Tim, and Tim didn't feel as if he was allowed to ask Batman to hide under his cape even when he was cold, so it took several years of vigilante-ing before Tim figured it out.

Damian didn't really have any chances to hide in Bruce's cape before he was lost in time, the cape didn't work the same for dick, and by the time Bruce was back, Damian believed he was too old for such childish things as seeking shelter in his father's cape.

The robins just think that Bruce got his cape enchanted somehow, and just didn't care to tell them in typical Bruce fashion. Bruce has no idea about this and is just happy that his kids like him enough to feel comfortable with him during patrol.

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Jason: *offended because its his hoodie*

Tim: i like to wear big hoodies because they have long sleeves so i can- [smacks Jason]

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The Tibetan monks have some interesting methods

Hawkgirl: Just checking if everyone is, BATMAN, YOUR HAND!

Batman tilted his head but felt a slight tremor in his right hand. Slowly removing his glove, he was met with a purplish wrist creeping up his arm. The sight of his bruised, light purple hand made some of the heroes around him feel nauseous.

Batman remained stoic, his gaze fixed on the injury as he contemplated how to address the issue swiftly.

Green Lantern!Hal: Hey, Batman, are you okay? We can get you an ice pack.

Batman (calmly): Nonsense. I can fix this myself, although I might need ice later.

Wonder Woman (anticipating the pull and pop method): Oh, get ready for this.

Superman groaned, shielding his eyes, while the other heroes looked on, confused and then concerned as Batman took a deep breath and gripped his disjointed hand.

Martian Manhunter: He's not about to do what I think he's going to do.

Green Lantern!Hal (already knowing where this is headed): Batman, not in front of the League. They're not ready!

Batman ignored Hal and the other voices around him. With a forceful jerk on his wrist, the displaced bone was reconnected with a sickening pop that echoed in the air.

The Dark Knight clenched his teeth, stifling a moan of pain.

Batman: Oh, that felt good!

Aquaman (amazed): Cool!

Hal laughed at the reaction, clapping as Batman successfully fixed his hand outside of a hospital setting.

Martian Manhunter (groaning, covering his eyes): Ahhh! I felt that! You human bastard.

Black Canary (unfazed): Huh. Neat.

Green Arrow (chuckling, wrapping his arm around BC’s hips): You really are freaky. that’s why I love you, babe. Batman, couldn’t you have gotten that done in private?

Batman didn’t respond, taking a moment to return to reality as he let the lingering, oddly sensual pain sink in.

Superman: Batman? Batman, you there?

Batman (deep voice, trying to compose himself): Shhh. This hit just right. I need a moment.

Superman (grossed out, walking away to forget the sound he heard): Okay. I’m going to listen to a Colleen Hoover book to cleanse my mind after that.

Hawkgirl (voice tinged with slight panic): What the hell was that?!

Wonder Woman: He learned how to turn pleasure into pain and fix certain injuries with ease. Superman and I saw him do it once.

Green Lantern!Hal: Once? I’ve seen it twice. He tried it on me, but I’m not used to pain like he is.

Hawkgirl: I don’t judge kinks, and this doesn’t change my view of Batman. But I didn’t need to see or hear that!

Aquaman: You’re lying if you say that wasn’t impressive!

Hawkgirl: I... uh, Flash, you need a barf bag or something?

Flash shook his head, turned away, and blocked out the sounds he just heard.

Flash (Barry): I’ll be fine. Good lord, my brain heard that in slow motion. His wrist was purple, and he doesn’t even have accelerated healing. Why hasn’t he spoken yet?!

Wonder Woman: Two more seconds.

Batman (remembering where he was after two seconds): What was that, Hawkgirl? Something about everyone being fine? Yep… yep… I feel really good right now. Why are you all looking at me strangely? We saved the day, and… if you’ll excuse me, I need to call my girlfriend to tell her the good news.

Batman walked away humming happily.

Aquaman (following him): Wait, wait, Batman, you have to teach me that!

Hawkgirl (shouting): Aquaman, no! Don’t go down that route!

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I like the idea that slade is asexual. Not even bc of the rapist shit that the bad writers give him a lot of the time. I mean like he thinks its part of being a husband.

Do the dishes, fold the laundry, make your wife cum, make dinner, continue

Like jericho and rose were born because he did husband duties and he has kids now ig???

Im just imagining slade giving jericho the talk tm

Slade: sex is important part to being a partner.

Jericho: what?? Dad you know you dont NEED to do that right???

Slade: its like doing the dishes, its important to being a good husband.

Later

Jericho: i think my mom is a rapist?? On accident though???

Dick: what.

Jericho: i dont think my dad understands asexuality. He thinks hes supposed to do that as a husband??

Dick: does he think its a chore??

Jericho sobbing: I GOT HERE BECAUSE OF A CHORE