#//click and zoom piece again !! i was starting to think i had just given up on ever doing that again hvbhs

[keeps-ache]

overgrowth and languor

[recommended you click and zoom] (alt versions below)

[holding-hands-and-hearts]

Remembering Omega

She only pieced together her childhood - or what passed for one - later.

Children didn’t remember things. Children rarely remembered places, either, or features, their minds twisting objects and beings until the tops of their heads touched the sky and their eyes glowed down like yellow lamps, unblinking and uncaring.

But children did remember feelings.

Her first memory is of cold. Darkness. They combined into something tangible, something pressing and present and absent. She remembers how it had sunk into her bones and made something in her chest sharp and stabbing. She remembers that it felt empty. Empty of something she couldn’t really understand, and though she had no reason to think that this wasn’t normal, it felt out of place all the same.

Her second memory is of absence. It was the first time she was able to recognize anguish, tearing at her throat and constricting her airway, and panic, and pain. She wasn’t cold anymore because she was so hot, her blood galloping through her veins and boiling, salty, liquid something dripped down her cheeks and seared her eyes. She remembers a wild need for something, for someone, a hand to cover hers or arms to bundle her up in or even just a voice, and it wouldn’t matter what the voice said so long as she could recognize that maybe there was someone there, and maybe she wasn’t the only one here. She remembers her skin prickling, prickling, prickling, because she’s cold again and there’s some primordial, primal demand for another living being to touch her.

Her third memory is of distance. She was used to the watchful one by now, used to the way it moved and how its features never betrayed any of its thoughts, a mask that she was too inexperienced to see through. But even when the watchful one watched her, even when it spoke, told her to stay still, she never felt seen. When the respected one and the one in the middle, the one who visited, came to see the watchful one and seemed so urgent about when, they looked at her like a puzzle, like an anomaly, like something that wasn’t supposed to be here. She knew they talked about her, but not one of them ever turned and bent their elegant bodies down to her, looked in her eyes and said some kind of something that made a piece fall into place that she was….something. Alive. Okay. She didn’t know the word loved until later, and for her it was defined as the opposite of how unreachable the watchful one’s eyes were.

Her fourth memory is of lost, and of the moments when lost seemed not quite. The world had gotten bigger, like it had simply blinked into existence, and the watchful one had opened the door and sent her away in the care of a strange floaty thing, with shiny limbs and a shiny voice that wobbled with panic whenever she took a step the wrong way. She remembered how bright the lights were, a glowing, constant white that bordered on iridescence and hurt when she looked at them too long. They stabbed somewhere within her skull like an afterthought, a silent kind of pain that didn’t yield until she learned to avert her eyes and keep her head down. She remembered how noisy it had seemed, how her footsteps faded into the endless white hallways. To someone who’s only ever heard silence, even hush is loud.

She remembered her first face, other than the watchful one and the respected one and the one who visited, and how warm its colors had seemed against the stark white corridors. It was tall, but compact, and sturdy, its eyes were confused, but it seemed like asylum when it scooped her up. Its arms were solid and warm and it cradled her head against its chest while it moved, and it clicked something into place. It wasn’t love, but it was something that set a few seconds aside to care, and the warmth in its concern wrapped around her like a blanket and made everything seem okay.

She remembered her second face, and this one was older, its back beginning to stoop and lines sinking into its face like stories untold, and its mouth curved when it looked at her. It knelt down and held her hand and asked her questions she didn’t understand, but it was kindness, and that was new too. She remembered the windows, when the endless white had found an end, and she remembered the cool of glass. She remembered the rain, and that the seal on the window must have been faulty. The kind one had put a work-gnarled hand on her shoulder and let her reach out to drag the ends of her tiny fingertips across the condensation, leaving trails that said I am here. It was the only here that had ever stopped to acknowledge her, the only thing that changed when she moved, like she was worth paying attention to.

Most of all, she remembered her third face, her fourth, her fifth, her sixth, glowing as tiny little lights back in the watchful one’s dark. The others started asking about it, started coming through the door from the world and pointing at the four little lights and saying when. She remembered learning that when got smaller slowly, and the respected one was never happy about it. The one who visited came to say would, and to say this, and to both of them the watchful one’s reply was always will. But every time the respected one came to say when, the four little lights would get a little bit bigger, until she could find herself in their tiny faces and tiny fingers and hope that their four little lights would make the dark a little less.

For now, the four little lights floated oblivious, asleep, maybe, and maybe when they woke up they’d get to stay. For now, they were together, and she remembered something calm settle in her core like how the waves stilled when the rain stopped. The kind one had picked her up and called it the ocean, before the watchful one could see them. He’d pointed, showing her how the funny flying creatures brought their littles to play between the pylons that held the city above the water.

At the end of the when, the four little lights turned off. One of them was bigger than the others, and one of them had a thick thatch of shadow-dark on his head that the watchful one didn’t seem to understand. One of them had a sharper face, carved out of focused intensity, and the smallest one curled in on himself like he was trying to shut out the world. The watchful one gave them numbers, nine-nine, nine-nine, nine-nine, nine-nine, like they were always meant to be together, and something clawed at her stomach when she realized that no one had ever given her one.

Instead, the shiny one zoomed up with its shiny limbs and its shiny voice, intent on a somewhere, and she didn’t want to go, didn’t want to take her eyes off of the four little nine-nines, afraid that they would disappear as simply and finally as a mirage if she looked away.

She only pieced together her childhood - or what passed for one - later.

It took time for her to understand her scraps of memory and feeling, lost without concept or context. She didn’t realize there was a cavernous, empty space she was lost in until she wasn’t anymore, like the way the vents were always loudest in the seconds after they’d just turned off. How do you place isolation, when you’ve been alone your whole life? How do you understand love, when all you’ve ever found is apathy?

She remembered alone, because she never had someone else to be alone with.

She remembered wrong, everything wrong, because there had never been anyone to tell her that she was right.

Now, everyone had a name. She recognized the watchful one, the respected one, the one who visited, and the kind one and the shiny one, who always blurted it in her ear with his shiny voice. For a while, she didn’t understand the identification in these strings of syllables, how they could mean everything, how you would be recognized and explained in a breath. Nala Se, Lama Su, Taun We, Ninety-nine, AZI-345211896246498721347.

She didn’t have a name, because what was there to define her?

She was the last.

Nala Se called her Omega.

*******

eeeeek so I opened Tumblr this morning to a giant pile of notifications and FREAKED OUT. Stupid sloppy grin, excited lil bouncing, all of it. Thank y’all so much for making my day, and probably my week too (by the way, @isaakandreyevs, you’re incredible and I love you).

Anyway, TBB today! I confess I don’t write with them as much as I should, but I got stuck on Omega’s childhood memories. I have discovered that it is REALLY HARD. Like, it’s not supposed to make sense to her, but it has to make sense to you, and my brain is so twisted up right now it should be in Cirque du Soleil.

Let me know what you want to see next! I’m thinking my best boys in the 501st, but suggestions would be more than welcome.

[wicked-mind]

Remember Me: Chapter Four

Remember Me: Chapter Four

Summary: Y/N and Bucky were the unlikely match when it came to love, but they were inseparable since they met. After a fight, Y/N left to be a trauma surgeon in the military and returns without her memories. How will Bucky remind Y/N how she is the fire in his bones? Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: None I think?

Series Masterlist

All Writings Masterlist

As always, any likes, comments, and reblogs are deeply appreciated❤️

*gifs not mine

Previously

Y/N ran her tongue along her lips for a moment, not daring to look at Bucky. She wanted to know and she felt like she already knew the answer from all the hints Bucky had given her. Half of her didn’t want to ask but the tequila was giving her courage and the need to know was overwhelming, “Am I the girl you talk about? The one you still love?”

Chapter Four - Remember

Bucky froze at her question. He knew it was a question Y/N would have eventually, she was very observant and too smart. She had slowly put the puzzle pieces together and the question was now passing her lips. She wasn’t looking at him, which bothered him. He wanted to see how the question felt to her, if she was happy or pained by him keeping her in the dark of who he really was to her. The silence was deafening between them as he tried to figure out how to approach the question. He passed the helmet to her again, a soft expression on his face as he did, “Please put the helmet on and I’ll tell you everything.”

Y/N looked at the helmet, taking it from him willingly. Her stomach started to turn into a sick feeling, that wasn’t the answer she was expecting. What if she was making an idiot out of herself and he was talking about another girl all together? With shaky hands she put the helmet on, fumbling around with the latch which Bucky must’ve noticed because he helped her click the latch together under her chin. Y/N silently watched him get on his motorcycle, following and swinging her legs behind him, thankful she was able to finally sit and not rely on her shaking, nervous legs.

“Hold on tight.”

Y/N wrapped her arms around his waist slowly at his words, latching her fingers through each other to secure her body to the back of Bucky’s. She closed her eyes tightly, leaning her face onto the back of his leather jacket. Half of her hoped that if she stayed still long enough with her eyes closed, she would maybe disappear or wake up from a bad dream instead of confronting whatever Bucky was taking her towards. When the motorcycle roared to life, Y/N jumped a little and she could swear she felt Bucky chuckle at how jumpy she was. She held onto him tighter, keeping her face pressed against his back. But as Bucky started zooming down the road, Y/N relaxed her grip a little. Something about this felt familiar. The way the wind rushing through the the ends of her hair, the feel of her arms around Bucky and his leather jacket, and the feeling that was bubbling up inside her at the rush was all familiar to her. It all came to an end too soon and when she opened her eyes, she saw Bucky had taken her to his house instead of back to Steve’s. She waited until Bucky had brought the bike to a stop and turned if off, letting out a deep breath when the engine was cut. She slid herself off the motorcycle, shakily releasing the strap on her chin and pulling the helmet off.

Bucky watched Y/N closely as she got off his motorcycle, seeing her a little shaky and he couldn’t tell if it was from riding with him, the tequila that sat in her stomach, or the fact that he was making her nervous. He took the helmet from her gently, placing it on the seat of his bike before turning and grabbing Y/N’s hand softly. He gave her a comforting smile, hoping it would relax her a bit before pulling her by the hand up the walk to his house and leading her inside, “You okay?” He asks once she’s inside, placing both hands now on both her arms as he gave her a concerned look. She looked pale and nervous, but nodded. He offered a small smile before releasing her arms, “Why don’t you have a seat on the couch, I’ll be right back.”

Y/N nodded, walking over to the couch and almost collapsing onto it. Her legs felt like jelly and almost numb. What had she gotten herself into? Did she really want to know the answers? She watched Bucky walk down the hallway to his room and once he was out of her view, she put her face in her hands and slumped over taking deep breaths. He said he had broken the heart of the girl he loved… and if that was her she couldn’t remember how that felt. But Y/N did want to know what it felt like to be loved in the way Bucky described and more specifically be loved by him. She quickly sat back up when she heard Bucky enter the living room again, biting her lip as she saw he had shrugged off his leather jacket to reveal his heavily tattooed left arm and he was holding the shoe box he had hurried and put away the first time she came to his house. Y/N watched him set the shoe box down on the table in front of her.

Bucky didn’t sit beside Y/N, instead remained standing as he tucked his hands in the pocket of his dark jeans, “That should answer most of your questions.” He said with a small smile. He had taken the engagement ring he never gave her out of the box, not wanting to freak her out more than she seemed to already be. He left her alone, walking around into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of beer from the fridge, leaning back against the counter top as he watched her from across the room.

Y/N stared at the box for what felt like hours, wondering if she really wanted to see what was inside. She felt as though she already had her answer based on the fact that she was seeing this shoe box instead of Bucky letting her down easy telling her it was another girl. She slowly leans forward and pulled off the lid, her eyes immediately falling on the photos of her and Bucky together. She stared at the first one for a little bit, not wanting to touch them yet. It was a photo of herself and Bucky in what looked like an arcade judging by the neon lights and ski-ball in the background. She was kissing his cheek while he snapped the photo with the biggest grin on his features. It must’ve been when they were younger. Y/N picked up the stack of photos, flipping through them. Most of them it seemed like Bucky had taken himself of them or just her, but others were taken by somebody else. There was a photo of her in Bucky’s arms with her legs around his waist and her arms outstretched. It looked like he was spinning her in the air while she was laughing. It made her lips twitch into a smile seeing how happy she was but it also pained her that she didn’t remember. She flipped through the photos, memorizing them within her mind. Y/N put the photos back in the box, looking at the other contents which included a painted house key as well as dried rose. She carefully picked up the rose, examine it as her brow wrinkle.

Bucky watched Y/N flip through the photos, once in a while bringing the bottle to his lips and taking a small drink. He watched her face twist into a smile at some of the pictures, making his heart flutter. But other times it looked like she could cry at any moment. Bucky paused when he saw her pick up the rose, watching her stare at it intently. He walks over slowly to stand on the other side of the coffee table, wondering what was going through her brilliant brain at this moment, “I gave you that on our first Valentine’s Day together.” He informed, in case she was trying to figure out the meaning of it.

Y/N heard him, tearing her gaze from the dried rose to look at his face. The brims of her eyes had filled up with tears threatening to slip down her cheeks, “I know. I remember the neighbor yelling at you for cutting it off her rose bush.” She told him, blinking and allowing one of the tears to slowly roll down her face as she gently put the rose back down in the box as to not damage it.

Bucky again froze at her words. Y/N remembered something, remembered something about him. He swallowed hard, wondering what else she was remembering. He quickly crossed the room, setting his beer down as he sat next to her. Seeing the tear roll down her cheek broke him. It always broke him when she cried. He gently took her face into his palms, stroking away the tear with his thumb, “Hey, darlin, don’t cry.” He whispered towards her with a small smile, “You remember the rose… That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard, doll.”

Y/N looked at his face, trying to urge herself to remember more of Bucky. But all she could remember right now is the way she got the rose and the story to go along with it. She stood up, pushing his hands away from her cheeks. She started to pace the room a little on the opposite side of the coffee table from him, one hand on her head.

Bucky’s small smile turned into a stern line again as Y/N pushed him away and stood up, watching her pace. He had seen her do this many times when she was frustrated or trying to figure something out. He quickly stood, crossing the room over towards her and stopping her from pacing, standing in the way of her path, “What’s going on? What’re you trying to figure out?”

Y/N paused when Bucky stood in front of her, forcing her gaze to meet his. Those eyes melted her even if they were pooled with concern, especially knowing they were the ones that made her so happy in her past. She chewed on her bottom lip as she stared at him before finally speaking, “I’m so frustrated that I don’t remember everything. I want to remember everything.” She told him, “I want to remember every moment I spent with you. I want to remember every feeling you gave me, even the bad ones.” She paused watching him carefully as tears started to pool down her cheeks again, “And I’m so sad I don’t that it literally hurts. My head hurts pushing myself to remember. My heart hurts because I don’t. And all I want is to remember what it’s like to be loved by you.”

Bucky listened to her, watching the tears fall from Y/N’s eyes. The last sentence from her was enough, he had heard enough. He places his hands on her cheeks again, brushing away the tears as he pulled her face to his, smashing his lips against her soft ones. The feeling was something he missed, the way his lips perfectly molded around her’s and the taste of her lips he had craved from the moment he first kissed her. Bucky slowly moved one hand to wrap around her waist, leading her so her back was against the wall and he was leaning up against her as he kept kissing her. Reluctantly, he pulled away, smiling a little when he felt Y/N lean forward as if not wanting the kiss to end. He brushed his finger tips across her cheek, staring at her face. Y/N was fluttering her eyelashes at him, breathing deeply as if she couldn’t catch her air. She had a similar reaction when the first time Bucky had kissed her. Bucky smiled at her, watching her chest rise and fall as she took deep breaths before returning his gaze to her face, “Darlin, I will show you everything until you remember, and you have never stopped being loved by me.” He whispers towards her, watching her shiver as his breath hit her skin. Bucky grinned, he could still make her feel everything. He could give her goosebumps, make her dizzy in love with him even if she didn’t remember. He could see it in her eyes that she was still his, “Now, I have no idea when the last time you drank, but you should drink some water so you’re not hungover. I can taste the tequila still, doll.” He said with a low chuckle, “And you should probably just lay down and breathe, you remembered something and that’s big. You aren’t going to remember everything tonight, but we have so many more tomorrows to try. There’s no point in giving yourself a headache trying to right now. So let me help you, just go lay down and I’ll bring you water and a snack.”

Y/N nodded at his words, finally catching her breath from his kiss. She wanted more of him, he was intoxicating to her. She suddenly knew what he was talking about when he told her they had a love that seemed to alter their gravity. All she wanted was to be closer to Bucky, to feel his arms around her and take in everything about him. Y/N wanted so badly to remember, but agreed with him that it wasn’t worth the headache right now. She suddenly remembered the tequila in her almost empty stomach, causing her insides to twist slightly, “Yeah, water and something to eat would probably be good.” She was able to mumble out to him. Her head was so in a daze she just didn’t even realize her wobbly legs had taken her into his bedroom, slipping onto the undisturbed side and pulling a blanket over her body. Y/N glanced over at Bucky’s night stand, noticing a picture of Bucky and herself kissing in front of his motorcycle. She reached over and grabbed the picture, tracing her fingers along their faces slowly. She quickly put it back when she heard Bucky approaching with a grin as he found her where she used to sleep next to him every night.

Bucky sat down on his side, holding out some water and a hot-fudge pop tart for her, watching her accept them and nibble away at the food. He had done this many times before for her, often picking her up from the bar when she drank too much with her friends from the hospital. He would bring her to bed and make her something to eat before watching her fall asleep next to him in the middle of a drunken ramble. This night was not much different. He watched her finish the pop tarts, taking the plate from her as she set the glass of water on the table on her bedside. He got up and went to one of the drawers in the dresser, pulling out some grey sweatpants and a shirt that already belonged to her to change into, “I’ll go clean this up.” He said with a smile before planting a kiss on her forehead, “Here’s some of your clothes to change into…Try and get some sleep.”

Y/N smiled at him, thankful he was taking care of her. She watched him go before slipping on the comfy clothing, already feeling better. She slowly laid back in the bed, resting her head on the pillow that seemed like it hadn’t been laid on for so long. This must’ve been her side, untouched since she left. It felt right being in Bucky’s bed, the familiar feeling again returning to her body. She tried to keep blinking to stay awake until Bucky came back, but sleep overtook her before that happened.

When Bucky finished cleaning the plate and beer from earlier as well as making sure all the doors were locked and lights off, he walks back to the bedroom to see the beautiful figure of Y/N asleep in his bed. He was grinning ear to ear, happy she was back where she belonged. He pulled off his shirt and changed into some dark grey sweats before slowly and quietly crawling into bed with her. He watched her sleep, taking in everything about her. He had missed watching her sleep, pondering what was going on in her brain while she slept. What dreams she was having and whether it was of him or not. He could lay there for hours and watch her sleep, brushing his fingertips along her cheek slowly. As much as Bucky wanted to stay awake and watch her, he eventually fell asleep as well with a small smile on his lips.

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Taglist: @vicmc624

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[styles-89]

delicate ; a love story.

chapter one: all new beginnings must require old endings.

authors note: hi!! this is my first jim halpert x reader fic :) i hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it! also, thank you for the support on my previous writings. flashbacks/flash forwards will be in bold and talking heads will be in bold with italics!

WARNING: language

-

February 25, 2005

Y/N clears her throat, crossing her legs as she sits in small, uncomfortable grey chair. In the background people are working at their desks, a man turns and glances at Y/N in the conference room with the crew. He turns back and makes eye contact with the camera, that was zoomed in on his reaction. He bites the inside of his cheek and goes back to his work, having a look on his face like he got caught doing something.

“What do I say?” Y/N asks, leaning forward towards the camera, then sitting back in the chair. “Oh, I started working at Dunder Mifflin about a year and a half ago? I’m the receptionist here. Boring, I know. I..sit in at meetings, uh, transfer clients. I also write stories! Sometimes, when I’m free. No-one has really seen them, except Jim.” Y/N looks down and fiddles with her bracelet. “Jim’s probably my best friend.” Y/N responds to the crew, the question of her relationship with the man coming up. She nods and smiles. “He’s the best salesmen I know. Everytime he makes a sale we air high five.” Y/N chuckles and smiles brightly at the camera.

“Caleb? He’s my boyfriend. He works in the warehouse. Helped me get this job.” Y/N nods, her smile faltering but a smirk staying on her face. “He’s great, we’ve been dating for...four years. He still has yet to pop the question but you know, we’re saving money, haha.” She smiles and chuckles. “Oh that’s it? Okay cool, uh, if you guys need anything don’t be afraid to come over to my desk and ask.” Y/N stands, and gives a small wave to the crew and camera before she exits the room.

“So, how was it?” Jim asks, leaning back in his chair, looking the woman up and down that was leaning up against his desk slowly, trying to find a trace of concern or outright disgust. Most of the employees at Dunder Mifflin, especially at the Scranton branch, were concerned with the idea of a documentary being filmed. Y/N seemed to like the idea. “It was fine, you just talk about yourself and your job.” She readjusted herself to now be sitting on Jim’s desk, legs dangling off. Y/N eyes the camera that was now standing near the two of them. This would take some getting used to. “So, Y/L/N, you want to go to Poor Richards tonight?” Jim asks, poking the top of her knee. Dwight perks his head up looking over at the two. “Shouldn’t you be working?” He asks, and Y/N rolls her eyes.

A ring was heard from reception, and Y/N hurried over to the phone after shrugging in Jim’s direction, picking it up. “Dunder Mifflin, this is Y/N. Yes, I’ll transfer you.” Y/N says into the phone, sitting back down in front of her computer monitor. “Dunder Mifflin, this Y/N.” She pressed the phone to her ear and her shoulder, writing on a sticky note ‘You mean, like a date?’ “Oh uhm,” The caller was asking to speak to Micheal, but he wasn’t in his office. “Where’d he go?” Y/N mouths to Jim, and he returns with a shrug. “Micheal isn’t here right now, may I take a message?” She asks, setting the separate sticky note to the side and grabbing another one to write down what the person on the other line needed. “Got it. Thank you!”

Y/N stood up and took both of the sticky notes, one to Micheal’s office, sticking it on his computer monitor, and walking over to Jim, placing the purple piece of paper on his shoulder. She would just joke with him out loud but didn’t want Dwight staring at them again. Jim looked over at Y/N, who was now back at her desk and lowered his eyes, a hand resting on his face. She let out a pretty peal of laughter, a pink tint on her cheeks. Their jokes is what got both of them through the day.

“Y/N?” The crew had asked him how he felt about Y/N and her affect since working here. “She’s a great friend. Very easy to talk to..warm, energetic and positive.” Jim comments, biting his lower lip gently. “Why do you ask?”

At the stroke of 5p.m., Y/N stood up and took her coat off of the coat rack, finding some ways to stall to talk to Jim by stacking the post-it notes, putting the scattered paper clips in their rightful container, making sure her computer was properly turned off. After what seemed like an hour of judgement from other employees as they left (it was only about two minutes), Jim approached her. “I’m assuming your in?” He asks and Y/N smiles. “Hell yes. I haven’t gone out to Poor Richards with you in forever.” She says, stuffing her hands nervously in her coat pockets. “Wait, were going to Poor Richards?” Kelly calls back to them and Y/N’s eyes widen, realizing how loud she was. “Guys were going to Poor Richards!” Kelly called down the hall, earning a few cheers from the other employees.

“I love my coworkers.” Jim says, sighing, and clicking his tongue to his cheek. “But Y/N is the only one who understands the pain of group outings. It’s mainly one of the reasons why we do things with eachother, without the rest of the Scranton branch.”

Y/N and Jim laugh at the same time, the camera zooming in on Caleb as he enters the office right when the two of them were about to leave. “Hey, baby.” Y/N says, pressing a kiss to Calebs lips, his hands resting on her waist. Jim looks into the camera with a frown as he fiddled with his car keys. “So Jim and I were going to go to Poor Richards, if that’s okay with you?” Y/N asks, keeping her arms wrapped around his neck. “Oh, babe..I kinda wanted you to come home tonight, you know..the reasons why.” He grumbles and Y/N looks at the camera, Jim looking visibly flustered and uncomfortable in the background. “Uhh..I just- haven’t gone out with them in awhile.” Y/N separates from Caleb and he frowns. “Fine. You can. Love you.” Caleb says before placing a kiss on her forehead. “Take care of her, Halpert.” Caleb says and Jim nods. “Will do.” He says awkwardly, chuckling afterwards.

“Guess I’m all yours tonight.” Y/N giggles, walking down the stairwell, Jim not far behind her. “Haha, yeah..” He trails off and Y/N stops and looks up at him. It was tremendously cold in the stairwell, but it was their safe space. “Somethings wrong.” Y/N says and Jim shakes his head. “I know that face.” She retorts. “What face?” His eyebrows furrow as he looked in her direction. “The face were you think really hard about something, were your concerned.” She points out and Jim smirks. They really had memorized each other, like a book they had read multiple times. Other miscellaneous things they knew about eachother: Jim’s favorite pen color is blue. Y/N’s favorite yogurt flavor is strawberry. 

“I’m just thinking about Caleb. Why didn’t he want to let you leave, besides..you know.” Jim mocked Caleb’s grumble, this made Y/N laugh. “I don’t know.” She says, continuing down the stairs but she frowns. “Sometimes I just don’t get him.” She confessed, and Jim’s face softened. The camera crew slips into a corner so it is out of view. Jim rolls his eyes and pushes the door open with his back. “Boys! Amirite?” He jokes, which made Y/N smile. Jim rushes over and opens Y/N’s door, to which she thanks him. The camera crew watches as the car drives away. “Do you think everyone else is already there?” Y/N asks and Jim shrugs, focusing on the road. “Thanks for taking me, by the way.” Y/N comments and Jim smiles. “No problem.”

After a couple of hours of hanging around the bar and Y/N getting hammered, the crew filming most of the experience, Jim decides it’s best if he takes Y/N home. He had successfully put her in his car and buckled her, and once he was in the car, Y/N wrapped her arms around his arm while giggling. “Wow. You are SO drunk!” He exclaims and eyes the girl, a gentle, caring smile on his face. The camera zooms in on the two, the view being from another car. “I’m perfectly sober!” Y/N cheers and Jim shakes his head as he pulled up to a red light, the camera filming them in the next car over. “Would I do this if I wasn’t sober?” “Do what-” And just like that, time stopped.

Y/N’s lips were on Jim’s, and Jim’s eyes widened, but he relunctly placed a hand on the back of her head, cradling softly as he closed his eyes. It was so pure, so delicate. The light had turned green, and a car honked behind them. Jim immediately pulled away, stepping on the gas, the camera getting a shot of them as they veered off. Y/N giggled and covered her mouth, then threw up in a bag that Jim had given to her just incase of an incident like this. He didn’t really have time to process what had just happened, and he rolled his eyes as he placed a hand on her back, rubbing it gently. He pulled up to his house, seeing his roommate was home. Jim was going to take her back to her house, but he was scared that she wouldn’t be able to articulate without some sort of assistance, and Jim presumed Caleb was already asleep.

Jim helped Y/N out of the car and walked into the small house and his roommate smiled. “So this is her?” He asked and Jim glared at him and sat Y/N down. “Just get me a glass of water, asshole.” He comments and takes his flip phone out, texting Caleb.

‘Hey, it’s Jim. Y/N got really drunk and she puked in my car, so I took her back to my house. Don’t worry, I’ll sleep on the couch. Have a good night.’

“What am I going to do with you?” Jim asked and shook his head. Y/N made ‘grabby hands’ towards him and his obliged, sitting on the couch with her, her body shifting so her head was now on his lap. He smiled down at the girl and quickly turned on the TV. Jim could feel Y/N slip out of consciousness by her breathing and he smiled again, taking a moment to take this in. He stroked her hair and he swallowed harshly, remembering what had happened earlier. Jim bit his lower lip and sighed, then took the girl up in his arms, bridal style, and walked to his room, placing her on his bed, and covering her with the blanket.

The next morning, Jim cooked breakfast for her, gave her medicine, and let her know of what had happened last night. She was taken aback, wondering why she would do such actions. She apologized profusely, to which Jim just smiled and shook his head, replying with a ‘you’re fine.’ Classic boy-next-door Jim. Y/N went home, and didn’t tell Caleb. There was no reason to. She was drunk, and didn’t remember the events. The weekend flew by in a flash, and soon it was Monday again.

Y/N walked into work with a bright smile on her face. That smile quickly faltered as whisperings were made by her other coworkers, and she made eye contact with Jim. Had he told someone? No, surely he hadn’t. Y/N’a eyes faltered from Jim as she sat behind her desk and Jim tapped his pen on desk. Dwight taps his desk a single time and Jim looks over at him, raising his eyebrows. “Y/N has a boyfriend.” Dwight quickly says, and Jim nods. “Yes, I know. Why are you telling me this?” He asks, really not wanting any of Dwight’s antics at the moment. “Because you kissed her.” Jim’s heart sank into the bottom of his stomach. “..Who told you that?” He whispered, glancing at the camera, and Dwight points at the crew member holding the camera. Jim looked at the camera and clenched his jaw.

“How long does this documentary have to be?” Jim asks, his hands folded in his lap as he clenched his jaw.

Y/N wrote sloppily, she was jotting down ideas for her writings. Not that anyone would see them. “Y/N?!” Caleb calls and Y/N stands up. He sounded angry. “Caleb? What’s up?” She asks, walking from behind the reception desk. “You kissed Jim?!” He yelled and Jim turned away from the gaze of Caleb, spinning in his chair as he looked in the camera. The whole office knew by now. “I-I was drunk! And it’s not like it meant anything!” Caleb had a right to be upset, after all, she had kissed him even if she didn’t remember it. “I’m sorry..” She trailed off and Caleb clenched his fists. “Sorry isn’t gonna cut it! You hang out with Jim all the time, how will I know if you don’t do something like this again?! We’re over. I want you moved out of the apartment by tonight.” Caleb angerily says and Jim looked over at Caleb, standing up. “Hey, man, she didn’t mean-” “I don’t want to hear it, Halpert. You kissed back.” He spat. Y/N looked over at Jim before she watched Caleb storm out of the office. He was gone. The man she wanted to marry, spend the rest of her life with, was gone. He wanted her gone.

“Y/N.” Jim quickly said and Y/N tears up, looking up at him. She just threw away four years of her life she would never get back. “I can’t..” She said and rushed out into the hallway, and finally into the stairwell. Jim followed close behind. “Hey..” Jim soothed and wrapped his arms around her, her head now resting on his chest as she wept. He rubbed her back gently and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, looking over at the camera. “You’re going to be okay, Y/L/N.” He comforted, and Y/N sputtered. “I don’t have a place to live! He wants- me gone by tonight.” Y/N hiccups and Jim holds her tighter, thinking of ways he could help her. “Hey! Crazy idea, you can stay at my place until you find somewhere to stay.” Jim suggests. He hadn’t even talked to his roommate.

“Are you sure? I- that’s.” Y/N tries to the find words to show her appreciation, and wraps her arms around his neck, standing on her tippy toes to hold onto him. Jim wraps his arms around her waist and closes his eyes, holding her tightly once more.

And just like that, Jim knew this was the right thing to do. He took in her scent, the softness of her skin, and the many giggles coming from her.

“I’d do anything for her.” Jim says confidently, before his eyes fell from view of the camera. “She’s my best friend.”

-

taglist: @jackryanplz

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: Pavlov’s Mice and Cameo

So thanks to Tumblr nerfing my ability to make an admittedly absurdly long post combining the previous episode rewatch with this one, I had to do this entry in two parts.

But at least now we’re in for the real treat: The first episode in airing order that’s animated by TMS Entertainment. And hey, even the Animaniacs show itself seems to acknowledge that this is special, because theme song rhyme is…

We're Animanie! Totally insane-y!~

Pinky and the Brainy!~

…which hasn’t been done since their debut. So this is gonna be fun.

Might as well get this out of the way, then, since this episode obviously involves Ivan Pavlov. I think most people who know of Pavlov through cultural osmosis pretty much know him as just “that one scientist who got dogs to respond to the sound of bells as if they were being offered food”. This is what happened, but it’s only part of the story. In reality, Ivan Pavlov was doing research on the physiology of digestion in dogs and he noticed one day that the dogs he was studying started to drool in the mere presence of the lab technician who regularly fed them even if the technician didn’t have food with them. Pavlov developed a way to redirect the dogs’ digestive juices outside of the body so that they could be measured, and then he ran some conditioning experiments to see if he could get them to salivate in response to external stimuli that had nothing to do with food, like ringing a bell.

The year in the title card, 1904, was the year Ivan Pavlov was awarded the Nobel Prize for the previously mentioned experiments, which he published the results of in “The Work of the Digestive Glands” in 1897. Basically, by 1904 he was done with his work with dogs and he moved on to experimenting with mice…at least according to this article in National Geographic by Virgina Hughes.

With that, let’s begin the episode proper.

“At the dawn of the 20th century, Russian scientist, Ivan Pavlov, trained animals through his technique of conditioned reflex” says the narrator as we zoom in on a laboratory with Pavlov and our lovable mouse duo.

“Time to earn your dinner, my little mousey friends!”

It’s interesting how Pinky is the one that flinches uncomfortably at the loud sound of the gong while Brain simply snaps into his conditioned response. And that response? Uhhh…

“I’m a little teapot, short and stout.~”

“This is my handle, this is my spout.~”

(Is he…you know…?)

“When I get all steamed up, hear me shout!~”

“Tip me over and pour me out.~”

Oh no… This is a cute and funny scene and all, but when you know about Brain’s canonical issues with how he hates not being in control of a situation and all the traumas he’s endured (for those of you not in the know, yes, Brain does have a lot of trauma in his backstory that we learn about much later, both in the 90s spin-off and the reboot) regarding both general control and losing family and friends…there’s a bitter tinge to this scene.

He’s so embarrassed and humiliated.

He takes the cheese but he is positively fuming with rage, and I can’t exactly blame him from what I know about him.

This is made all the worse by Pinky’s innocent reaction to Brain’s little song and dance.

“Hahahahaha! Wonderful! Hahaha! EGAD, Brain, I could watch you do that dance all day! Haha, narf!”

For Pinky, this is harmless silliness and he gets to see Brain sing and dance and “have fun”, which is not a usual occurrence. But for Brain? Well...

“You have watched it all day, Pinky. Sixty-one times, to be exact. It’s a conditioned reflex to that infernal gong.”

“I’m powerless to stop it!”

Well, Brain, at the very least it’s not like you were a part of a more inhumane experiment like one regarding, say, learned helplessness or anything. …Oh wait. Whoops. (For those sensitive to animal abuse, I suggest refraining from clicking on the second link, and caution against clicking on the first if even more clinical text descriptions of such would upset you. The third link is spoilers for the reboot.)

All that aside, it seems like it’s Pinky’s turn. He gets the more traditional bell chime for his stimulus.

And the result is him going into an uncontrollable and very enthusiastic Slavic folk dance.

With violent results. I hope you appreciate that last screencap, as the animation goes by so quickly I had a lot of trouble isolating the part where Pinky kicks Brain and he goes flying.

Pinky is all too happy to get a reward of cheese, his favourite food, for doing something that he has no memory of.

“What’cha doin’ over there, Brain?”

“Contemplating your afterlife, Pinky.”

That’s not exactly fair, Brain, you know he has no control over this. To Brain’s credit, though, he doesn’t bop him or anything for kicking him involuntarily.

Pavlov leaves, playfully saying that he hopes the mice dream of cheese tonight, and the mice are immediately down to business.

“At last, he’s gone.”

“Now we can begin our conquest of the world!”

We’re already back to it being “our” conquest of the world, eh?

“Behold my latest creation, Pinky: The Vacuum-o-nator.”

Brain has never been good with naming things, has he? At least, not so far. I wonder if this will continue throughout the franchise?

Pinky is certainly very happy and impressed, though.

“It uses reverse air pressure to vacuum everything toward it.”

You know, I was just about to roast Brain for thinking that making a very odd version of a vacuum cleaner was such a brilliant thing, but then I remembered that this takes place in 1904. The vacuum cleaner as we know it was “invented independently by British engineer Hubert Cecil Booth and American inventor David T. Kenney” in 1901 according to Wikipedia, and portable vacuums were available to the general public starting in 1905.My apologies, Brain, that actually is very impressive.

Although, this all hinges on if the viewer considers episodes that take place in the past and/or at different locations than Acme Labs California to be mere Alternate Universe/What If? stories or Brain and Pinky using some kind of time machine to go to a different place and time for these episodes. (Before you tell me that this is just a cartoon and sicc the Please, Please Get a Life Foundation on me, I do this to have fun and maybe educate myself and the reader along the way. I promise I have a life. Barely.)

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Pinky?”

“Uhh… Yeah, Brain! But where are we gonna find rubber pants our size?”

Pinky, that’s… Listen, folks, don’t make the same mistake I did and google “rubber pants”. It’s not what you think it is. You will be disappointed.

BONK!

Seems like you’re enjoying yourself there, Pinky.

“No, Pinky. We’re going to use the Vacuum-o-nator to steal Russia’s crown jewels!”

Man, the animation for even this one small proclamation by Brain is so, so good. Brain standing authoritatively and holding the pen like a scepter or spear, the grand sweep of his arm as he says “no”, the serious and slightly menacing expression on his face, a violent and grabby swing of his arm on the word “steal”,  and a dramatic point and look up towards the sky when he finishes. TMS does great work, folks.

“Narf! Genius, Brain!”

Look at Brain’s satisfied smile at Pinky’s simple compliment. Remember what I said earlier about Brain going through his explanations to show off to and  impress Pinky? At this point I’m absolutely convinced that that’s why Brain turns up the theatrics more than necessary when going through his plans. After all, Pinky is (oddly and rather sadly) the only one in-universe who thinks Brain is a genius and a good person.

…Of course, the effect can sometimes be lessened by subsequent innocent bumbling.

“Turn it off, Pinky.”

He says this so exasperatedly yet so deadpan at the same time, it’s great.

“Oh! Right-o!”

Even Pinky immediately knows that he fucked up.

“Zort! Whew! Wild hairdo, Brain! Heh heh, I like it.”

He even pets Brain’s “hairdo”, aww. And though I personally could take or leave the ‘do, I like the pointed, sharp look this mishap’s given to his ears.

BONK!

“Now I feel cleansed.”

Okay, this one might have been a little too much, Brain.

“But Brain, aren’t the crown jewels always guarded by giant Cossacks?”

Well, Pinky, from what I know Cossacks were usually used extensively in the police force and as border guards during this time, so I guess that’s possible?

Brain picking the lock with the pen is a fun little detail.

“Don’t worry about the guards… For tonight, Pinky, at precisely 1 am, there’s a total lunar eclipse. “

Again, this is probably not a thing the average person could look up quickly and easily in the 90s and the writers most likely didn’t care about accuracy here, but there were no total lunar eclipses in 1904. There were some penumbral lunar eclipses in March and September of that year, though. Just a fun fact for you folks.

“The Earth’s shadow will completely cover the moon, blacking out all of St. Petersburg for a period of 30 seconds.”

Brain…?!? Brain, how did you get the diagram on that piece of paper to animate like that? What kind of Harry Potter-style magic bullshit is this?

I know this is a cartoon and all and I’m not truly upset but this honestly came out of nowhere and made me do a double-take.

“In that brief time, we will sneak past the Czar’s guards under the cover of darkness and steal the crown jewels…for he who controls the jewels controls Mother Russia!”

More dramatics!

“But…I thought your mother’s name was Désirée?”

I love Brain’s pose here. Very grumpy and sassy.

As for Pinky’s comment: We do get to meet Brain’s parents way later in the spin-off, though neither are addressed by any name. I’m taking this joke as canon anyway because it’s funny.

Well, well, well… Looks like we’re shaking things up a bit with an inking instead of a bonk. That’s gonna be a pain to get out of his white fur, though.

“Soon, Pinky, I will rule Russia…so from now on, call me Czar.”

Another sassy hand-on-hip pose.

“Right-o, Brain!”

“—eek! Czar Brain!”

“Come along, Pinky… Conquest awaits!”

Nice to know that despite the inking, Pinky’s still following him anyway. Plus he’s doing it with that fond look on his face again. Hmm…

What follows is a cute and ingenious sequence of Brain launching Pinky and himself through an open window via the spring force of a mousetrap. It goes by very quickly, but I just wanted to highlight a few things I managed to notice while pausing through it. Kudos to the animators again for these little details.

Pinky’s the one that wraps one arm around Brain’s shoulders so that Brain has both hands free to spring the mousetrap properly and so that they’ll be launched together.

Interestingly enough, Pinky’s the cautious one who braces for impact right away while Brain gleefully flies through the air with his arms outstretched.

The “camera” changes perspective and while Brain is still boldly flying forward with confidence, Pinky is still worried but has now opened his eyes as they fly towards the window.

Pinky’s still holding onto Brain and the Vacuum-o-nator as tight as he can. As they get closer to the window, however…

…Pinky seems to realize he’s going to smash into the wall above the window if he doesn’t let go, so he lets go of Brain. Brain doesn’t realize where his trajectory is taking him.

Pinky angles himself downward and through the open window, but it’s too late for Brain.

WHAM! RIP, Brain.

But his pain is not done! It looks like Pinky’s landing was in the soft snow. Meanwhile, Brain slides down onto the window and through the opening, only to bash into the lid of a garbage can, much to Pinky’s concern.

Then Brain falls headfirst into the snow.

And finally, Brain is clonked on the head by the same garbage can lid, which makes a loud gong noise. Someone get this poor mouse some Aspirin.

But since there was a gong noise, you all know what that means!

Cutely, Pinky joins in on the dance in the middle of it.

“Ha! Oh that was fun, Czar Brain! But let’s give it another go, right? Only this time with feeling!���

Man, that side-eye at the beginning from Brain…

Pinky’s body language is great in this episode, too. The gleeful flapping of his arms and feet and the “with feeling” gesture are fantastic examples of his more open and energetic nature coming through.

Oh hey, there’s that one shot of Brain being ticked off used in the spin-off theme song! I can’t exactly blame him for his anger here. He just went through a lot of pain in a short amount of time and was then involuntarily made to humiliate himself. Pinky doesn’t mean to be mean here—he genuinely wants to have some sing and dance fun with Brain—but it’s gotta sting to have the humiliation highlighted.

Pinky still doesn’t deserve a bonking for it, though. But it’s slapstick, so he’s fine.

Heh, “deliveries to rear” indeed.

Oh, are those jingle bells on a sleigh that I see?

Uh oh…

“No, Pinky… Not now!”

It cannot be stopped, Brain. He must dance!

Another quick detail as Brain launches himself at Pinky’s midsection to either topple him over or hold him still to get Pinky to stop.

Alas, Pinky’s dancing is too strong.

OUCH!

The face of regret.

His punishment is swiftly thwarted, though.

“…That was unpleasant.”

They take a different and more uneventful ride on a hay wagon to the palace.

I love the exaggerated perspective going on here.

Peekin’.

“We made it inside, Brain!”

“…’Czar Brain’.”

“Czar Brain.”

He says it so quietly and sweetly, aww.

“Yes, Pinky. There are fleeting moments when I even amaze myself.”

I…don’t know if it’s much of an accomplishment yet, Brain. Settle that ego down a bit.

Oh, that’s some classic Looney Tunes-style sneaking animation there.

Wait, why is the door to the treasure room just open behind them? Czar Nicolas II, what gives?

Speaking of…

Hello, Czar Nicolas II. I hope you’re enjoying your “eclipse party”. You only have another 14 years or so to live it up, after all.

“In just a few minutes, it’ll be totally dark and scary. OooOOoo!~ But don’t anyone touch me, I have cooties!”

I, uhhh. Okay, then.

Same, boys. Same. Best to get down to business.

“Behold the crown jewels of Mother Russia, Pinky. World conquest will soon be ours!”

Again, world conquest is “ours” and not just Brain’s. Also you can just tell Pinky’s thinking “I’m going to wear so much of this jewelry!”

“Now, Brain?”

“Not yet. Wait for the total eclipse.”

Speaking of…

“Complete darkness, Pinky. Start the Vacuum-o-nator…”

“NOW!”

That gonging noise is an interesting choice for a chime. Surely this ornate clock is only an omen of good things for our duo.

Pinky, you’re swooning again. And Brain…

Oh no.

Another clock! Who’d have thought Russian nobility loved clocks so much? This one has a more pleasant bell chime, though.

…Oh NO!

Well, looks like things are going to hell pretty quickly.

Goodbye, boys.

Goodbye, Czar Nicolas II! You might wanna look out for a man named Grigori Rasputin in the future, okay?

Nice hat, Brain.

“Whu--? The eclipse is over? Narf! What happened, Brain?”

BONK!

“Zort! I mean, Czar Brain.”

“We failed again, Pinky… But just wait until tomorrow night!”

“Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night, Brain?”

“What else, Pinky?: Try to take over the world!”

It was a nice try, boys, but honestly I don’t know how you were going to fit all those crown jewels into that tiny improvised vacuum bag, anyway.

One last cute little detail in this episode is our mousey duo jumping up with enthusiastic determination in front of the silhouette of the moon on the last note of the theme reprise. One day, you guys. One day…

Oh! And before I forget, have another short cameo from “Plane Pals”. It’s a tiny one.

Pinky and the Brain steal a sheep off of an airplane. For what purpose? Who knows? But that’s it. I’m kind of wondering if the writers wanted to make a running joke of them making cameos to steal random things for world conquering purposes and just sort of gave up.

Anyway, so ends our recap for this post. It sure was a long one, but what can I say? There were some very cute details that needed to be shared. Have we learned anything new this time? Well, I mean, besides historical trivia.

Brain thinks both he and Pinky are great actors, despite his own near inability to lie and keep up an innocent pretense. Oh, he can be sarcastic, sure, but he can’t seem to manage to stop himself from revealing that he’s out for world  domination whenever he has an audience.

For the first time we see Brain’s annoyance and humiliation resulting from him being a lab mouse. Though it’s on the more subtle side at the moment, Brain seemed extra grumpy and violent during that last     episode because of the conditioning he’s unwillingly gone through. I’m     curious to see if there are any more examples of this before we reach an  episode touching on his origin story. Or…one of his origin stories, at     least. There’s around four of them last I checked and all but one of them  can reasonably fit into the others.

Pinky is truly beginning to show how much he adores Brain, which is nice. Beforehand we knew he was down with his world domination plans for whatever reason and also that he thinks Brain’s plans are great and ingenious. Now, though, we’ve gotten to the point of him literally swooning at Brain and his plans. Something’s definitely brewing there.

Next time: We get some more substantial cameos, join our mouse duo on a Fort Knox heist, and meet a new character that is both pretty important to the “lore” of the show going forward…but also doesn’t appear in person after their introductory episode until the very end of the Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain spin-off run.

See you then!

[artificialqueens]

Chase the Shadows Away (Taywhora) - Juno

Summary: It’s April 2020, the UK is in lockdown, and Tayce gets a hand-delivered letter from her neighbour Aurora which may change her life.

A/N: So this is set during lockdown and does mention covid, so please bear this in mind when reading if this will be a worry, but otherwise I hope you enjoy. CWs in place for alcohol, mental health mentions, and non-adherence to lockdown rules at one point. 

Otherwise it’s quite fluffy with some h/c. I hope you enjoy.

The first letter Tayce got was in early April.

She hadn’t had much post since the whole country had been locked down, no one allowed to move outside their front doors for more than once a day for threat of fines and penalties and even getting sick. Most of the letters she was getting this week had been birthday cards for her absent housemate. She’d put the various brightly-coloured cards and Amazon boxes in a pile outside Viv’s bedroom door, and gave the pile the middle finger every time she walked past it.

But today there was a plain, white envelope, with “Hi” written on it in glittery red pen, and when Tayce opened it, she found a piece of notebook paper that had been folded at least four times, and Tayce nearly threw it across the room with the effort it was taking to open.

This had better be worth it.

When she got it unfolded, she read the three lines in the same glitter pen, then again, and once more just in case.

‘Hi, I’m Aurora. I’m on my own in my flat 7D because my housemate moved home because of lockdown, and you seem to be alone too. Want to write to each other? X’

And Tayce couldn’t hold back the rush of emotion, as much as she tried - but she was alone, and she took comfort knowing only these four walls would see tears stream down her face.

——

Tayce was on her own in the flat.

In the day time she opened her work laptop, thanking god she was allowed to work from home; throwing a hoodie over her pyjama top just in time for the 9am meeting where her boss grinned at everyone and told them all to keep swimming and chin up and whatever other self-indulgent bullshit she had read in her How To Motivate Your Teammanual in the chapter about Managing Pandemics. 

Tayce was still surprised at how much bullshit her workmates seemed to swallow; all of them with the same broad smiles and straightened hair and shaved chins and eyeliner, for fuck’s sake - but Tayce copied them, knowing that not painting her own smile and her own eyebrows on was damning herself for the inevitable call and the simpering It’s Good To Talk conversation, followed by u k hun xx to be flashing repeatedly in the work WhatsApp group from all the team.

In the evenings, the only noise was the clink of the glass bottle against the wine glass. One glass was enough to make her a little sleepy, two was enough to make her dance, and three was enough to make her post something cryptic on her insta story and see if anyone DMed her. 

Sometimes they did. 

Joe liked to crack a few morbid jokes about how it was the apocalypse and we were all going to be dead by 2021, which didn’t help Tayce in the slightest. Ginny would message “You alright, bab?” at three in the morning, but never reply to any other message. Tia would send Tayce a picture of the banana bread she’d baked as if that would cheer Tayce up.

And Cherry sent her a message one time, telling her to look after her mental health, and then Tayce felt bad because Cherry worked for the NHS and only seemed to work and sleep right now, her insta photos showing her looking more and more gaunt, with #ClapForHeroes and #ProtectTheNHS appearing at the bottom of all her posts.

Nothing curbed the gaping black hole in Tayce’s chest, sucking everything that was good from her body and leaving her a shell.

Until the letter arrived.

——

Two days after she’d posted her own letter back to 7D, another letter arrived, in the same glittery red pen, this time addressed to her, with Tayce written on the front of the envelope this time.

‘Hi Tayce (sp?) nice to meet you, don’t worry I don’t know what to say either! Where in Wales are you from? I’m from Nottingham but I came to London for uni and didn’t leave! Are you still working rn? I got furloughed which is a bit shit. And my housemate is staying with her boyfriend so she can’t move back. Have you been clapping for the NHS? Someone on my floor was banging a pan or something!! Hope your ok? WB Aurora xx’

“I’m making a new friend,” Tayce had said to her mum on the phone later that night.

“In lockdown?”

“She’s delivering me letters.”

“How?”

“By hand, mum.” Tayce forced a laugh. “You know. Through the letterbox like a normal letter.”

“I hope you’re washing your hands before and after you open them, are you?”

“Yeah, of course,” Tayce grimaced as she said it.

“Good. Stay safe. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

One of these days, Tayce thought as she disconnected the call, she might be able to say it without her voice breaking.

——

By mid-April, a full month since lockdown had started and two weeks after the first letters between them, Aurora had given Tayce her instagram handle, and Tayce had given hers in return. Tayce found herself spending all of her Good Friday skimming down the page on moreauroramore, looking through all of her new pen pal’s photos and trying desperately not to look like an idiot by accidentally double-tapping any that were obviously over a year old.

Tayce had pictured Aurora in her mind as being over-excitable, short, with dark hair and lots of dusty pinks and baby blues and other pastel colours as her aesthetic, maybe with pot plants and cat pictures and cutesy little slogans surrounded by hearts. Instead she’d found a smolderingly attractive woman with a ridiculously versatile and sophisticated sense of fashion; one photo in a rococo-inspired summer dress, and the next in a cerulean blazer, matching trousers, and stilettos. Her hair was platinum-blonde, but it was hard to tell her eye colour as she seemed to own a never-ending plethora of colour contacts; and the eyebrow ring in the early pictures was replaced by a silver septum ring in later ones. 

Her own insta looked quite plain in comparison, Tayce thought to herself. The landscapes she liked to post were interesting to her but probably not to the magnificent person on Aurora’s insta. The last picture Tayce had taken was of herself with her brother and niece in red rugby shirts just before the Six Nations was on; the last selfie before the last time she’d gone home which was … only February, she realised. 

February felt like years ago.

When Tayce had awoken the next morning, she was greeted by the doorbell, and an Amazon driver sprinting away the moment she opened the door. A letter was on the doormat, in the familiar red glittery pen, and a single chocolate Easter egg. 

‘Happy Easter Tayce. Don’t know if you celebrate but lol thought you would like some chocolate anyway! Don’t eat it all at once. Aurora xx’

It made Tayce’s gut wrench with guilt that she hadn’t thought to get Aurora one.

But it made Tayce even more pained, once she had clicked onto her instagram, to see that moreauroramore had liked all thirteen of the pictures she’d posted this year.

——

The zoom call at the end of April with the others from her uni group, saw not just Cherry missing, but also Ellie and Veronica.

“Ellie’s moving this week,” Lawrence nodded at the screen, “but that was all she’d tell me. She didn’t say where. Or if she’s staying in Dundee or anything. I just know she’s still trying to get her internet set up and I think she’s a bit stuck.”

“What about Vee?” Ginny asked in a low voice.

They all recognised the somber tone. They’d all taken it up. A change in their voices that all of them recognised in a kind of collective telepathic awareness. A hush in the calls, as if someone were dying, or had just died. Whenever anyone was missing, it was always the same worry circling all of their minds: what if it’s covid what if it’s covid what if it’s -

Tia was shaking her head. “It’s not covid,” she said, reading the minds of everyone through the internet, but her voice was still solemn as she continued. “I spoke to her mum. She’s -“

“Say depressed, Tia, it’s fine.” Bimini spoke gently, but not all of them were as open as Bimini was. Especially when it came to Veronica, who was a brick wall when it came to showing what she was feeling.

“She’s - not in a good place.”

“Say mental health,” Bimini said, shaking their head. “It’s okay to not be okay.”

“I don’t think that’s gonna make her feel any better, Bim.” Tia rolled her eyes. 

“We’re all feeling this,” Pip nodded. “We all need to talk to each other.”

“Veronica won’t. Not yet. We just need to be there for her when she does. Anyway, who’s done anything interesting? Anyone else been trying banana bread? Everyone managed to find bogroll from somewhere now? No one is having the same problem that Joe had when she -“

“I don’t think we need to go any further with that one, love,” Joe muttered.

“I’ve made a pen friend.”

Everyone sat in stunned silence at Tayce’s sentence, mouths open like fish at feeding time.

“A pen friend? What is this, 1986?”

“Shut up, Ginny. I think that’s kind of cute, actually,” Tia mused, tilting her head to one side. 

Tayce nodded. “Something a bit different. She lives in my block of flats. Two floors up from me. Been nice, to talk to someone, ever since Viv buggered off to her boyfriend’s house. Seriously, as soon as Boris announced lockdown she was jumping in her car and off to Liverpool.”

“You said she was a bit flaky,” Tia said sympathetically. “What’s your new pen pal’s name?”

“Aurora.”

“A-what?” Ginny raised their eyebrows. “Can we just call her Rory?”

“No.”

“We should get her on a call with us when Veronica’s back. Ronni and Rory, sounds like Ant and Dec will have some stiff competition when they get wind of that.”

“Ginny -“ Tia began, but Tayce was trying to hold back a chuckle. 

——

‘Someone is talking about a street party on the 8th of May. Are you gonna go? I was gonna stay indoors but if you’re gonna go outside i will too xx’

Tayce knew she shouldn’t be thinking of meeting strangers outside her flat while the pandemic was ongoing, but she hadn’t seen a familiar human since March other than on a zoom call screen. 

‘Hi Aurora, yeah i will go outside for a little bit. Look forward to meeting you properly instead of over letters! Tayce’

And Tayce finally stopped hesitating, adding two kisses on the end for the first time.

The weather was meant to be lush for a May bank holiday, as Tayce knew because her colleagues wouldn’t shut up about it. Almost eight weeks of lockdown were beginning to show the cracks in all their faces - no more eyeliner, and even Linda in Accounts had stopped posting boomerang videos of her kids doing Joe Wicks workouts while she waved her arms behind them. 

So Tayce was over the moon when Friday rolled around and she could slam the Dismiss button on her phone alarm, turn over and sleep in until noon. Once she woke up though, she sat up with a jolt in her bed and realised she’d have to get ready; somehow it was important that she looked right today. 

It was a power play, she knew it. An armour. But there was just something about clothes that made her mood turn in an instant. Her favourite leather jacket was probably a bit too heavy for the warm sunshine - warm sunshine? In May? - so she opted for the black denim instead and a skirt that hugged her slender figure, leaving her hair loose and wishing she’d gone for a trim before the lockdown. Maybe she should take her scissors to it? 

She held the only scissors she had to hand - a pair of craft scissors - and wondered what her hairdresser mum would say if she knew that her daughter had taken non-styling scissors to the 30-inches of hair that she had. 

No - better not. Her mum could give her a go over once the lockdown period had ended.

Someone was playing tunes on a speaker already when Tayce came down the stairs, dragging the garden chair Viv had left behind and brushing the digestive crumbs off it. One of the neighbours she recognised from her floor handed her an ice-cold can of Fosters which she sipped, not really enjoying the taste but relishing the freedom of it all. She knew to keep two metres from everyone, and she knew Cherry would absolutely murder her if she disobeyed that rule.

As soon as Aurora came into view from the block of flats, Tayce knew that keeping to the two metre rule would prove a little harder than she had first thought.

Aurora’s insta pictures showed a fashion model trapped in a little box on a screen, striving to get out - but in the flesh, she looked as if she had just rolled out of the living room after a Tiger King marathon. The grey jogging bottoms paired with the crop top and zip-up hoodie were probably too warm for today - 23 degrees, the radio kept repeating - but she made them look so effortless and stylish that Tayce suddenly wanted to buy some. Her platinum hair was piled in a messy bun, dark brown roots showing but the lackadaisical nature made it seem like Aurora meant it that way.

On her insta page, Aurora was way out of Tayce’s league; but here in life, she seemed a lot more accessible, a lot calmer, a lot more real. 

Maybe it’s armour for her too. All this perfection in the photos. God. Why did I wear this?

She dropped her own deck chair down a reasonable distance from Tayce, taking another can of Fosters from the same neighbour and cracking it open. She took a swig, wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, and waved.

“Hi, Tayce. Here we are, then!”

“Yeah,” was the only thing Tayce could think of in response. Really cool. Very clever.

But Aurora was talking animatedly about how much she’d missed the sun, as she pulled a pair of sunglasses from her pocket and leaned back against the deck chair, claiming “Tesco are having them on sale - two for £12, so I got two - what else am I gonna do on furlough other than sunbathe!”

And the more the Fosters flowed - their neighbour’s 24-pack almost completely gone before 5pm, he seemingly wanting to give a can to the whole block - the more Aurora opened up her life history to Tayce. 

How much she wished she was still in Worksop and could go on the long walks into the forest. How she’d give anything to hug her mum, a care-worker, and how she FaceTimed her shielding grandad every Sunday at 6.30 just after he finished his tea. 

But most of all, how lonely it was every single night being alone in a flat in a huge city. Aurora dabbed her watery eyes with her thumbs as she described how much she loved everything that London had to offer when it was full of people, not dead to the world like it was now - and in this hollow place that lockdown was, she’d discovered that a city - any city, however exciting - was just a built-up area if you had no one to share it with. 

Tayce hadn’t expected to cry. She’d cried maybe once or twice this whole time in lockdown, still too numb to have taken everything in that was happening. But the moment she’d opened her mouth, suddenly the Fosters had started talking for her too, and she was spilling out her worries onto the pavement below them as Aurora rubbed her back. 

How her mum was furloughed from the hairdresser and her dad was always out in the lorry up and down the country. Her brother and sister-in-law, and her niece, were all still fine in Newport, but Tayce had missed her niece’s birthday, having to settle for blowing her a kiss down FaceTime and promising her through gritted teeth and cold fear that she’d give her the biggest cwtch ever as soon as this was over.

But now Tayce was in tears again, this time on Aurora’s shoulder, releasing her sorrows onto this woman who she had only exchanged written words with; now seeing her true soul laid bare in emotions that just refused to stop once she started. Aurora’s gentle hands ghosted through her hair, but then gripped Tayce tightly to her chest, planting a long, tender kiss on her hairline. 

How had this happened? How had social distancing become this? Two people, thinking they were islands, clinging to one another for dear life?

Tayce held her for too long.

Aurora’s hands froze as she realised what she had done at the same moment Tayce had.

Cherry is gonna kill me.

Aurora walked with Tayce back to her flat as the sun was setting. It was nine in the evening, the heat finally starting to break, and both of them were aching and tired, spent from their tears. Aurora gave Tayce’s hand a gentle squeeze but said nothing else, her eyes red underneath her sunglasses, and Tayce had felt herself harden once again, turning the key in the door and closing the outside world back to where it should be.

——

After two weeks had passed, both of them not developing any symptoms after their contact, Tayce had an idea. 

She put the letter through the letterbox in 7D at midday when she broke for lunch, and had a reply by half past one, a new record for Aurora.

‘Tayce, I’d love to form a support bubble with you. I thought you would have one already thats why i didn’t ask! Want to put on a film tonight and just chill? Bubble bud? Aurora xx’

So Tayce saw inside Aurora’s flat for the first time that same evening. After work, she practically sprinted up the stairs, thankful to get away from more of u k hun xx and her still-simpering colleagues.

It was very clean, as if it had only just been cleaned that day - freshly-washed surfaces, hoovered carpets, a sparkling bathroom - and Tayce marvelled at how tidy and orderly things were, a stark contrast from her own living space which had evolved into a nest of mess by now. Aurora’s living room and kitchen space were one area, with a mismatched sofa and chair facing the tv screen, hooking up a PS4 - Tayce hadn’t counted Aurora as a Dishonoured player either. The wall opposite the window was filled with small pictures of past fashion models - Kate Moss, Agyness Deyn, Cara Delevigne - all with matte black frames which had obviously been painted in lockdown, as one was on the coffee table drying over a copy of Hello magazine.

“My housemate’s not coming back, I can see it happening now,” Aurora shrugged, “so why not make the house the way I like it while I look for someone else to live with?”

Aurora poured Tayce a huge glass of wine, and that was followed by another; while she topped up her own glass liberally and kept shifting on the sofa as if trying to get comfortable. Tayce, for her part, took the chair instead, while Aurora tapped on the PlayStation controller to try to get Netflix up. The more she drank, the more cumbersome the controller seemed to become in her hands, until Tayce leaned over and took it away from her, Aurora’s fingers lingering a little too long on it before relinquishing.

When Aurora got up, meaning to pour them both a fourth glass of wine, she slipped on something and tumbled into Tayce’s lap in the chair, tittering something that sounded like “god I’m clumsy” through the giggles that came from her, unable to stop. Tayce slapped her on the back as she started coughing, but as that died down, Aurora straightened up, picking up Tayce’s hand in hers and drawing her up and away to join her on the sofa.

Lockdown had been so fucking lonely.

Aurora’s hand in hers was all Tayce needed to dissolve every wall she was still rebuilding from May Bank Holiday.

Aurora’s eyes were on her, she knew; through her peripheral vision as she tried desperately to cling to her focus on whatever episode of Tiger King this was.

When Tayce finally met her gaze, she averted it, turning her face to the window opposite them. Almost … playfully.

So Tayce looked back at the TV screen, but Aurora’s hand squeezed at hers, thumb in her palm pressing right in the centre, the pressure somehow travelling all the way to her gut. Tayce turned back to her, and this time Aurora did not look away.

“God, you’re gorgeous.”

Aurora looked at her through her eyelashes, lips parted in a smirk, curiously searching Tayce with her gaze as if wondering what her next move would be.

Tayce blinked incredulously. “Me? Like this? What do you mean, I’m gorgeous? Have you seen yourself?”

“And that accent, oh my days -“

“Go to Newport, we all sound like this.”

But the wine was hitting hard now and oh god lockdown is so fucking lonely and Tayce’s feet on the floor suddenly felt unsteady and Aurora was so fucking close to her on the sofa -

——

Once the hangover was gone, the memory of rest of the night felt like a dream, or maybe a nightmare. Tayce wasn’t entirely sure when she’d gone back to her flat, but she had, long before night had fully fallen and long after she was sure the burgeoning friendship she was finally making with someone lay in tatters two floors up from her.

The wine had washed away the strength she’d had, leaving her raw and vulnerable, and all the affection that had been growing since Aurora had first held her bubbled and burst into life. And Aurora must have felt the same magnetic pull, drawing them together across the sofa, nail marks still present in Tayce’s back that she could see in the mirror, a bruise forming on Tayce’s collarbone as Aurora had dipped a little lower. 

It had been Tayce who had halted it - not because she hadn’t wanted to, but because she couldn’t decipher how much of this was affection and how much of this was just two lonely people, starved of company, starved of normality, seeking and clinging to it in any form.

And now it was the following day, and Tayce still didn’t know.

The group call at the end of the day was interesting. She stretched over the back of the sofa in her living room to grab her water, and that must have been enough to flash a sliver of skin. 

“What’s that?” Lawrence asked loudly, prompting everyone else to go quiet. “Tayce? What’s that on your chest, hmm?”

“I didn’t see anything.”

“You’re not wearing your glasses, Ginny, you can’t see shit. What’s that on your chest? Why d’you have a bruise there?”

“Hi!” Ellie’s voice as she joined the call unexpectedly saved Tayce any further embarrassment; everyone shrieked when she came on, having missed the last two zoom calls following her move. “Thank God my internet is working now, I’ve missed all your faces!”

Tayce silently thanked Ellie’s timing and contentedly listened to the rest of them as they chatted about everything and nothing that they’d all missed. All of them were there; even Cherry showed up about twenty minutes in to wave at them and blow them kisses, her face even more pallid than before; before ducking back out to go to bed. 

Only Veronica was still missing.

“She’s been messaging me,” Tia explained, “and she said she’s feeling a bit better, but since she got furloughed, she’s feeling like there’s no point getting out of bed or getting ready because there’s nowhere to go.”

“Send her some love,” Tayce said, but Tia snorted.

“You send her it! She’s gonna feel better if she knows we all miss her.”

It was true though, Tayce realised after they all disconnected. They all seemed to be drifting apart, no more energy to continue with these online gatherings, even though there were so many virtual meetup groups and apps that there almost seemed to be no excuse now.

She looked back through her phone messages. She hadn’t messaged Veronica since early April, taking her silence as a sign that she wanted to be left alone; but what if it wasn’t? Veronica was a closed fist, everyone knew that. And Tayce’s brother? Again, early April, and a quick call the week after for her niece’s birthday. 

Lockdown, and self-isolation, seemed to be one and the same. 

So Tayce spent the rest of the afternoon sending messages to everyone she had neglected since then. Maybe they would reply, and maybe they wouldn’t - but there was no harm in reaching out, no negative consequences. 

By the end of the day, she was fielding messages back and forth from everyone she thought she’d lost through lockdown, the grey cloud over her head starting to lift, the fuzzy feeling disappearing and clarity settling in. She felt light, lighter than she had in weeks; and warm as the summery days they were getting in this late-May spring.

Towards the end of the day, she got a message back from Veronica at last.

Veronica: I’m doing ok. I got up and went for a walk today just to the park and back. It’s really nice although my hay fever sucks. Thanks for checking in on me i appreciate it x  Veronica: Oh also Tia said you had a hickey on the group call haha tell me what her name is x

Tayce was surprised to realise she was grinning at the phone as she read Veronica’s message, her fingers stroking the mark on her collarbone as if to savour the vivid image that it sparked in her head.

——

It was three days after their drunken kiss on the sofa that Tayce had another letter through the door. The same red glittery pen, the same scrawl, but the writing a little smaller as if Aurora wanted to diminish herself.

‘Hi Tayce. I’m really sorry if i came on too strong this week. Can we go back to friends? Want to hang out tonight, bubble bud? Aurora xx’

Tayce swallowed down the part of her that immediately rose up and cried that she … didn’t want to just be friends. 

Then it hit her.

God. I only met this girl properly this month. What’s wrong with me?

But she replied and immediately started clearing the house. 

She put the pile of Viv’s birthday cards and presents from the hallway floor into a cupboard under the sink, giving it the middle finger again; put the six-weeks worth of laundry on to wash; cleaned all the dishes; and dragged the hoover out of the tiny airing cupboard and got to work on the carpets. The hard floors she swept, and carried the bin bags out to the communal bins, all before midday.

“Who needs Joe Wicks workouts?” She muttered to herself, panting, as she tugged some marigolds over her hands to sort out the rest of the kitchen. 

By the time it was six, and time for Aurora to arrive, Tayce thought the house looked much better, and honestly, she felt much better too. The little spring clean she’d given the place had cleared a little clutter from her head as well. 

It’s nothing to worry about. She’d just coming over for food and -

Tayce grimaced as she realised she hadn’t thought of what to do for food. She thought back to the beans on toast she’d had at four and kicked herself for not thinking of that. Dominos was still delivering, so she brought up the app and busied herself looking through the list of pizzas.

Aurora hadn’t arrived by ten past six, and Tayce started to worry.

Maybe she’s changed her mind.

But Tayce refused to let that thought take any root. She looked at the clock, which of course seemed to slow down from having eyes on it, and firmly told herself that she would message Aurora at quarter past if she wasn’t here before.

With a minute to spare, Aurora turned up, grinning merrily and waving the bottle of rose in Tayce’s face.

“Hey bubble bud! Sorry I’m late, well I’m always late, sorry in advance if you expect me on time for anything!” Aurora took a step inside and her jaw dropped. “Wow, your place is well nice!”

“Thanks,” Tayce grinned, although she wasn’t sure what Aurora was looking at. Tayce wasn’t allowed anything on the walls from what her landlord said, but Aurora wouldn’t stay still - checking out the titles of the handful of CDs Tayce had brought down to London with her; scanning a nail along the books on the shelf above the TV.

“It’s nice to hold a book sometimes,” Tayce shrugged, “rather than just read it on the kindle app.”

When Aurora got to the kitchen, Tayce cringed. She’d have to confess.

“I haven’t got in anything to eat. Only - only some bread.”

“And pot noodles,” Aurora added, opening a cupboard and helping herself to the contents as if she’d lived here her whole life.

“And pot - oh, are you thinking, maybe …”

“No way!” Aurora slammed the cupboard door and grabbed her keys again. “Be right back!”

Ten minutes later and Tayce was at the hob over the oven with Aurora, dicing onions while she cut up a red pepper, mince that Aurora had grabbed from her own fridge was out and ready to go in too.

“I needed to use that up anyway,” she shrugged. “Please tell me you don’t just eat bread and pot noodles, Tayce, please. I need to give you a cooking crash course if you do! Didn’t you learn to cook at uni? Or didn’t you do much cooking before you went? Oh my days - no fry the onion off first, with the garlic - I’ll chop the mushrooms, Jesus Christ pot noodles …”

“I know how to cook, give me some credit!” Tayce murmured, but she couldn’t stop smiling. “I just haven’t been to the shop yet, it’s been a long week.”

Aurora closed her eyes and hummed in appreciation. “Just keep talking to me, please.”

“What about?”

“Anything! Your life, your family - I don’t know, house prices, I don’t care - but that accent, ugh -“ Aurora shivered.

“Yours is cute, too,” Tayce smirked.

Aurora looked at her reproachfully. “You’re lying.”

“Yeah, I am.”

It was no use. The air was full of electricity, static around them, and before Tayce knew what was happening, suddenly they were kissing again, this time stone-cold sober, while the onions burned shadows into the bottom of the pan.

——

Viv gave her notice on the flat at the start of June. 

“I just can’t afford to live here anymore,” she explained, sighing, when she got back and started to pack up everything in her room. “I’m gonna see if I can get some work back home.”

Tayce was numb, although she knew Viv didn’t mean it personally. It wasn’t her fault that she’d been made redundant straight after the lockdown ended, and it made sense that she wanted to be near her family. It was now four months since Tayce had seen hers, and she missed them every day, although she had been sticking religiously to her new routine of calling her parents every Saturday night and her brother’s family every Sunday afternoon. 

“I’m sorry that’s putting you in a tight spot, Tayce,” Viv muttered, hugging her, and Tayce hugged her back.

“Can’t be helped,” Tayce replied, which was all she could think to respond with that wasn’t an inarticulate growl in frustration.

Viv was adamant she would pay her final month’s rent, and pay her half the utilities even though she wasn’t there. But she had to go home.

“How was your move?” Tayce asked Ellie on the next group call on zoom.

“Shite,” Ellie replied, “but partly because we struggled finding someone to move us. There’s plenty of places around, plenty of places to rent and stuff, because everyone’s moved back to where they came from.”

“You’ll find somewhere else to live, bab,” Ginny murmured in a soothing voice to Tayce, stroking the side of the laptop screen as she liked to do to show affection now that she couldn’t hug anyone. 

“I know,” Tayce sighed. “It’s just a pain in the arse.”

She wasted no time. One of the spare room websites was always open in the background, and she was refreshing, looking maybe a little further out from central London to see if anywhere was cheaper, but nowhere was.

Then she spotted the dot in her own block of flats, and clicked the advert.

That’s - that’s Aurora’s flat.

Now she remembered. Aurora had mentioned something about her housemate moving out! It must now be official. 

She read through the advert - how was it £50 cheaper than what she was already paying? - and looked at the contact name for the housemate, and there it was in black and white pixels: Aurora Martin, use form below.

Grabbing a piece of notebook paper - one of the last bits left, she’d been ripping them all out to write to Aurora - she penned a letter, one of what might well be the last ones, and jogged upstairs to post it through her letterbox.

The response came back to her in less than an hour, a new record for Aurora.

‘Tayce! I’d love it if you wanted to move in here! OMG. My landlord will want references from yours, but if you can get them quick then he can approve you really fast, he’s working from home. OMG you made my day. Come up at 7pm xx’

“Work contacted me today too,” Aurora beamed as she settled with Tayce on the sofa. “They want me to start back next week! Can’t wait. Need to get that coin again now! I mean, I’m dead grateful, you know, that I still have my job and I was on furlough so the government paid most of my wages, but it will be nice to have the full package again!”

“What is it you do again?” Tayce asked.

“Oh - I work as a fashion buyer. But because fashion’s kind of stopped right now, most of the designers are shut. Reopening now, especially the ones in mainland Europe! Can’t wait to be on the phone to them all again.”

“Wait. You speak to designers in other countries?”

Aurora nodded. “I speak French and Spanish.”

“You -“ Tayce was dazed. “I didn’t know that!”

“Well why would you? I mean you’ve only known me a couple of months!” Aurora laughed, and leaned back closer to Tayce, her perfume overwhelmingly sweet in the air. “You’re not gonna know everything about me yet, bubble bud.”

“No,” Tayce purred, “but I can’t wait to find out.”

——

By the Monday after the move, early July, Tayce was all set up to go. She’d moved the bed into the corner as she liked it, arranged her books into a rainbow as she liked them, and unfurled the posters she’d been unable to hang in her last flat, mostly punk bands that she liked, Bimini’s band’s poster, and the noticeboard with all the tickets tacked to it of all the gigs she’d been to. The vanity with the mirror that she’d brought from home fitted perfectly next to the window so she could do her makeup with natural light; and it was large enough for her work setup, which was where she was now.

The flat layout was almost identical to the one she’d just left, and the room was the same one - Aurora having the slightly bigger room - but it felt a lot more comforting, knowing she wasn’t alone here any more, knowing she had a little more freedom in decorations, and knowing that the hollow feeling in her chest was starting to slow down for good.

She turned off her work laptop at five as normal, which was when Aurora came in. Tayce pulled her in, giving her a peck on the lips. 

“They’re gonna love you, I promise.”

Aurora just made a moan in the back of her throat and put her face in her hands, shrinking away from the vanity.

Tayce turned on her personal laptop, logging into zoom and connecting to the group chat. Her monthly uni call was set to half four today for some reason, and everyone else was already all there.

“Tayce! We wondered where you’d got to!”

It was Veronica’s voice, and Veronica’s face was in the top left. She still looked a little tired, and the shirt she was wearing looked suspiciously like a pyjama top, but she was here with them all, and this was a big step for her.

Tayce beamed at her. “So good to see you!”

“The move went alright then, bab?” Ginny asked.

Tayce nodded. “And there’s someone you should meet.” She pulled Aurora into frame, who still looked uncharacteristically shy for a moment before waving at the people on the screen. “This is Aurora.”

“Aurora!” Tia squeaked. “Like the princess!”

Aurora rolled her eyes. “Yes.”

“So we’ve got Rory and Ronni here together at last!” Lawrence exclaimed, while Veronica gave the camera two fingers.

But Tayce just grinned at her friends on the screen, far apart but together in this strange way. Aurora’s nails dug into her shoulder, still a little nervous, but even that was fading as she got more comfortable. 

Aurora had been right - the city was just a lot of bricks in intricate patterns without someone in it that made it a home. 

And this just might be becoming one.

[fatalezr]

The Recruiter

Yelena paused by one of the many souvenir shops in the city and pretended to look at some of the sunglasses on sale. In reality her eyes wandered to the mirror, searching behind her. She saw her. She looked to be a woman in her 50's with a short haircut and wearing a grey trouser suit. She too had stopped by a newspaper vendor and was seemingly scanning the front pages. It confirmed Yelena's suspicions - the woman was following her. She was puzzled. It was the middle of the Manhattan day and the woman had made very little attempt to conceal herself, and who was she anyway?

She started walking down the avenue again, her black boots hitting the sidewalk with purpose before she turned down a street to her left. There were less people here and she disappeared down an alleyway at the side of a bar before edging into another alley that intercepted it. She paused and reached into the pocket of her blue jeans - she had a small knife concealed within and she brought it out, spinning it in her leather-gloved hand.

Yelena heard the click of a woman's heels entering the alleyway. She had followed her down here and her trap was ready to be sprung.

"Yelena". The woman's voice echoed around the alley. She was British and well-spoken, similar to the other English woman Yelena had met earlier that year. She did not move. "Could we talk please?" the woman repeated, speaking into the empty air in front of her. Her heels continued clicking on the floor as she walked closer to the intersecting alley where Yelena lay. "I have a proposition for you".

Yelena spun round the corner and grabbed the woman in the grey trouser suit. She pulled her out of view of the street and pushed the knife to her throat. The woman did not seem perturbed by the situation. "Good afternoon" she said calmly.

"What do you want?" Yelena asked her quietly, gripping the knife tightly - this whole situation was strange. Was it a set up of some kind?

"As I said, just a conversation" the woman replied calmly, "perhaps without the knife?" Yelena was stunned by how calm the woman remained. She used her free hand to check inside the woman's jacket and around her waist - she was not armed. She took her purse and stepped back. The woman straightened her jacket.

"Who are you?" Yelena asked curiously.

"These days I'm operating as a recruiter" the woman replied, "and my client would be interested in offering you some partnership"

Yelena snorted. "I'm already employed" she said.

"By Mr Falcano, yes" the recruiter acknowledged, "but purely as a labourer. What my client proposes is to give you a true seat at the table, an opportunity to set strategy".

"What do I care about strategy?"

"I think you could care a lot, Yelena. Killing for pay is fine, killing for power is....exhilarating".

Yelena paused. "I'm going to leave now. Don't follow me" she told the recruiter, "or next time..." She made a cutting motion with the knife and glared at her.

"As you wish" the recruiter responded, still calm, "my client would be prepared to offer a sweetener with this that your current employer desires - the location of Gio Gambelli".

Yelena stopped dead in her tracks. The mob boss Gambelli had been gone for weeks now - nobody had a clue where he was since the raid on his private bank that Yelena and Raoul had carried out. There were rumours he may have even left the US. "Bullshit" she told the recruiter - it had to be a lie.

"I assure you it is not. Have a look in my bag" the recruiter offered. "Blue folder".

Yelena still did not trust the woman but did so cautiously, opening her black bag. Inside was a blue folder and she took it out and opened it. There were pictures of Gambelli drinking by a pool. Someone had zoomed in on a paper next to him. It was dated three days ago. Yelena looked up puzzled at the recruiter. "Where is this?" she asked.

"I can offer the full location in return for your help completing some work".

"Strategy work?"

"No, this is more akin to your usual labourings" the recruiter admitted, "but consider this a good opportunity to impress before any long-term discussions, in return for which you get to present Mr Falcano with an opportunity to wipe out one of his opponents and be rewarded with $20,000 from my client".

Yelena was tempted. 20K for one job was more than Tony was paying her and the chance to get the information on Gambelli and bring him his head was also too good to pass up. "What do you need?" she asked.

The recruiter smiled. "There is a journalist at the New York Times, Bob Andersen, who has been chasing a story we do not wish to see published. He has ruffled a few too many feathers and it is time for him to be silenced permanently".

"That's it?" Yelena asked.

"That's it," the recruiter repeated. "The rest of the details are up to you. By all means use your knife or pump him and his household full of bullets in the middle of the street. The benefit of working for pleasure, Yelena, is that it should be pleasurable. Shall we say we meet again at the Hilton bar on Broadway, 11:30pm, two days from now?"

Yelena nodded. She still had her suspicions but could put them aside for now. She dropped the recruiter's bag. "Don't follow me" she told her again before turning and leaving the alleyway.

------

Two days later, Yelena sat in a coffee shop in Greenwich at 8pm. She wore her traditional black leather jacket with black leather trousers but she also donned a blonde wig to cover her brown hair. She kept her back to the camera in the shop. She had spent the previous two days investigating the works of Bob Andersen. He was an investigative journalist, responsible for a major piece in recent months about corruption within the mayor's office and it looked like he may be building towards a larger piece on the criminal underworld. Yelena had noticed he often mentioned places in Greenwich village within his articles and it did not take long for her to track down his address using a couple of informants.

She was sipping her coffee and pondering what the recruiter had told her. She had worked with Tony for some time and he had always been a generous employer to her, rewarding her with loyalty in a criminal underworld where it was not uncommon for killers to in turn be killed after their services were no longer required. He paid her well and of course had given her the opportunity to meet and love Raoul. Yet at the same time she knew she and Raoul, trusted though they were, would always be outsiders in the Falcano family. Tony had three sons who she knew would inherit the business one day and what might become of her then? She did not sit at the top table. She carried out tasks and was good at it, but was that all she wanted for the future? What would happen if there ever came a point she wished to stop?

The thoughts ran around her head as she drank. She had not told Raoul about her plans or the conversation with the recruiter, preferring to keep this to herself until she had any information that could be shared. She was still unsure about trusting the woman but so far had no real reason to distrust her either.

A movement outside the cafe caught her eye and she dismissed the thoughts in her head as Bob Andersen walked by wearing a long brown coat over a shirt and thick gloves to protect against the winter air. Yelena watched as he crossed the road to enter a non-descript tenement block where his apartment was, taking off his hat and revealing grey hair underneath. She downed the rest of her coffee and left some money on the table to pay for it.

"Working for pleasure should be pleasurable" the recruiter had told her and she remembered those words as she crossed the street towards the apartment block. Yelena had thought about it a lot - what did she want from a kill? What made them special? She preferred guns to knives. Whilst a knife was certainly effective at a close range and silent, nothing compared to the feeling of pulling the trigger for her. She had always enjoyed the feeling of power that it gave her, seeing a resigned and fearful look in her next victim's eyes. Recently the killings had given her a more sensual thrill. It was no coincidence that her most passionate lovemaking with Raoul came after some of her works and she wanted to explore this side more. Tonight could be the beginning of a deliberate experiment.

She walked around the back of the building to the fire escape stairs that were on the outside. She climbed them as quietly as possible, making her footsteps soft on the metal. Even in her all-black look she might be visible to someone casually looking out of their window. She knew that the window for Andersen was on the fifth floor of the building and she paused as she reached it, giving herself a chance to listen for any movements. A yellow light shone from the window and curtains were drawn but there were no shadows that she saw moving inside the room.

She unzipped her jacket, revealing her black tanktop and removed her Beretta Px4 from her shoulder holster and it's suppressor from inside her pocket. She savoured the feeling as her gloved hand assembled the pistol, her fingers delicately twisting the long black tube onto the barrel. She quietly chambered a round and crouched beneath the window. There was still no movement from the room and she used a free hand to slide her knife from the pocket. It was less fun to kill with, but a lot easier to use to break a latch on a window. Within a few seconds, it was done and she eased the window up before slipping through it and on to a carpeted floor.

Yelena covered the room with her gun. It was a sitting room, with sparse but pleasant furniture, including pictures of Andersen and a woman who she presumed to be his wife. She listened. There was a radio talking in a room to her right but straight ahead of her she heard footsteps coming from the corridor that joined all the rooms in the apartment. Yelena moved across the room and hid herself by the door. The footsteps passed her position and she sprung out and grabbed the back of the passer-by. It was a blonde woman from the photographs in the sitting room. She wore a strappy purple undershirt and grey comfortable shorts. Yelena shoved her gun into the woman's back and had her hand round her mouth before she could react. Her cries were muffled by Yelena's gloves. "Ssh, ssh" she whispered to the woman, "no noise".

Yelena kept her gun in the woman's back and forced her to walk in the direction she had been going, towards where the radio was talking. It was a bedroom, again neatly furnished and Bob Andersen was folding some clothes on the bed. He had ditched his coat and was now wearing a plain white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and brown trousers. "Sweetheart, have you seen-" He stopped as he looked up and saw his partner entering the room but with Yelena behind her.

"No noise" Yelena said softly to him, making sure he could see the weapon pressed into the woman's side. He nodded and stood slowly, raising his arms as he did so. He had the fearful look that Yelena craved. It made her nipples harden and she allowed herself to enjoy the feeling for a split second. "I'm going to take my hand away" Yelena whispered to the blonde woman who was still shaking, "remember - no screams, no sounds". The woman nodded her head and Yelena slowly released her mouth.

"You - where is laptop?" she asked Andersen. Whilst it was not part of her brief, Yelena guessed that the recruiter's employers would be after it. If she could retrieve it she could gain the upper hand in the event that any information about Gambelli proved to be false. The journalist hesitated and Yelena could see him weighing up in his mind what to say.

"It's...it's not here. I keep it at my office". The lack of conviction in his voice was clear. Yelena sighed.

"I will make this simple" she told him coldly, "tell me where it is or I strip her" she moved her gun up to the blonde woman's head, "and then I shoot her". She cowered as Yelena used her now free hand to pull the spaghetti straps off the woman's shoulders and pull her top down, exposing a plain white bra beneath.

"No, wait, please, you must believe me" Andersen said. Yelena responded only by pulling down the woman's shorts. She was wearing pink pants with black polka dots and Yelena felt herself growing more excited. She looked over to Andersen.

"OK, OK, don't shoot!" he said urgently. He gestured to the side of the bed where a backpack was laying. "It's in my backpack". Yelena turned back to the woman who was doing her best not to whimper. She forced her to walk to the bag.

"Open it - show me" Yelena whispered to her. The woman reached down slowly and pulled the bag onto the bed. Yelena kept the gun pointed into her side and saw Andersen's frightened look as she pulled out a Dell laptop. Yelena smiled. "Very good" she said to her.

"Please, you have it now - will you let us be? Just take it and go?" Andersen asked. Yelena was a little saddened. She had expected more defiance from an investigative reporter.

"Get on your knees" she commanded him and he did so, keeping his arms raised. "You too" she told the woman in her underwear and she took the same position next to Andersen. They both whimpered a little and looked pleadingly at Yelena. She did not care. She levelled her pistol at Andersen's chest. Pfft-pfft. She punctured his white shirt with a quick double-tap of the trigger. His partner shrieked and tried to catch him as he toppled forward but another pfft-pfft from Yelena hit her in the side and cut her screams short. Yelena kicked the woman over so she was lying on her back and staring up, her eyes widening as Yelena stood over her.

"Very pretty" Yelena said to herself before taking her gun in two hands and feeling an excitement in her. Pfft-pfft, pfft-pfft. She pierced both bra cups with two shots. Yelena smiled - this was pleasurable indeed. She took a couple of steps back and walked her shots up the woman's chest pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, creating a neat line between belly and neck as she did so. The partner's eyes had gone still and Yelena breathed deeply as she admired her handiwork. She felt herself growing moist at the sight and dropped one of her hands from the gun to her crotch. She closed her eyes and moaned softly "mmmm" as she shot her final four bullets, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft into the woman's torso.

"Ungh, no, ungh" there was a husky sound from the woman's side and Yelena opened her eyes to see Bob Andersen turning and looking at her bloodied body. "No..." he said again, spluttering a little from his own wounds. Yelena smiled at him.

"Yes" she said simply, part in reply and part in ecstasy. She unloaded the empty magazine from her gun and reached into her shoulder holster for the spare. She took her time placing it in the gun and chambering a round, making sure Andersen could see every move. "Yes indeed" she said, aiming one-handed at him. Her other hand dropped to her crotch again, this time inside the pants she was wearing and she massaged herself and her trigger at the same time. Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft. She watched Andersen's body jerk from the impact of her bullets. She found herself working faster with own hand and she moaned as both bullets and her own self exploded in unison pfft-pfft-pfft-pfft-pfft-pfft-pfft-pfft-pfft-click-click-click. Yelena let out a high-pitched moan and almost stumbled backwards in pleasure. The feeling was incredible. She wanted to strip off her clothes there and then and continue her fun but decided that would have to wait. She holstered her empty gun, grabbed the laptop and left down the fire escape she had climbed to begin.

In the bar of the Hilton, she saw the recruiter sitting alone at a table, this time in a black dress. Yelena sat next to her.

"My client is very impressed," the recruiter said. "I believe this is what you've come for," she said, passing Yelena an envelope. Yelena took it and examined the contents briefly - photographs of Gambelli, property deeds, blueprints and...an address. "Tell me" the recruiter's voice made Yelena look up, "what do you intend to do with the laptop?"

Yelena smirked. "My insurance. If your client wishes to have it, tell him to come and meet me in person". She stood. "Pleasure doing business" she said, referring to the envelope. She turned to walk.

"Yelena" the recruiter said and she stopped once more, "who says my client is a he?" The recruiter smiled and stood, before heading towards the elevator in the lobby. Yelena watched her go and thought of her response. Where was this leading? She shrugged it off and turned back to the envelope. Gambelli was in Miami - it was time for a road trip.

[tonystarkissist]

I don't know if you're taking requests (don't have to do it if you don't want to) but Peter's on a mission with the Avengers and gets hurt he tried to tell the other Avengers (he doesn't want to to worry Tony) they think it's just small thing and cap tells him to walk it off. After Tony finds him he asks why didn't you tell anyone "I did and cap told me to walk it off" Tony is angry and gives cap a good talking to. Bonus: After this Tony and peter cuddle on the couch while watching a movie.

Alright here we go! Sorry for the kinda long wait anon. It’s been a while since I’ve written a one shot.

WARNING: Mild Description of a Panic Attack

“Alright Peter, you got this. You got this, Peter,” Peter whispered to himself under his breath. “You got this.”

He flipped his way through the chaos, shooting webs from every angle he was able. He saw Falcon zoom by him, taking out whatever androids he had missed on his way by and Peter couldn’t help but grin. It was like he was actually a part of the team and he couldn’t help his fanboy heart from swelling so big it warmed his chest.

Tony would be so totally pissed once he found out… but still, this was totally epic.

“Kid, pack of 10 with Nat at your 4 o’clock.” Falcon’s voice crackled in his ear through the comm system Captain America himself had FRIDAY transfer through Karen when he’d jumped in and joined the fray. 

“Got’em thanks!” He chirps, maneuvering midair to throw himself towards the group of evil bots attacking Black Widow… The Black Widow. Oh boy he was gonna fanboy so hard when this was all over. No doubt.

He helped her take them out no problem and she winked at him. Like… actually winked. 

“Don’t know why Stark’s kept you under wraps so long, kid.” Peter grins through the mask at her backhanded compliment and then she was running away, flipping off the hood of a totaled car to kick a droid in what Peter assumed to be its face. Then she was talking again, but it was through the comms and Peter may or may not have started hyperventilating. “The kid’s got skill, Steve. You might be able to use him against the big guy over there.”

“Alright, catch that kid?” Steve Rogers' voice crackles through his earpiece. “Meet us up here on 15th. Be careful though, this guy’s got a mean swing.” 

Peter couldn’t believe it… he was actually going to fight alongside Captain America. He wasn’t going to just be on the outskirts of the real battle helping to catch the stragglers and evacuate citizens. He was going to do something important. 

Oh god Tony was so gonna kill him. 

But that didn’t deter him at all as he swung his way to join Captain America and Co.

It was going fairly well until it wasn’t.

He’d gotten back handed by the huge robot several times already and, okay, maybe his insides felt like they’d been shattered multiple times, but he was fine! He was totally fine. The adrenaline was keeping most of the pain at bay, so he was fine.

Then he was thrown through a wall, rolling across the hard cement floor of some building before he came skidding to a halt at the center of the large open expanse… It looked like a parking garage. 

He groaned then hissed in pain, rolling onto his other side as he hugged his chest. His head was throbbing and he’s pretty sure every rib in his body had been fractured. No. Every bone.

God that hurts.

“Peter. Several injuries have been detected. Shall I alert Mr. Stark?”

Hell no, Peter couldn’t help but think. There was no way he was going to interrupt Mr. Stark in DC when the man had given him explicit instructions to lay low and be safe while he was gone. Besides… if Mr. Stark found out, he’d make Steve take him out of the fight and Peter can’t let that happen. He’s gotta help or else a lot of people would get hurt and it’d be his fault.

So, he scrambles to his feet and winces when he felt a slight throb in his right ankle. Yeah… not good. “No, Karen,” he winced, “I’m fine. Don’t tell Mr. Stark.”

Then there was a loud rumble and the ground beneath him shook. He stared down at the space between where his feet were awkwardly planted and his eyes widened when he heard several small pieces of gravel from the ceiling over head splatter on the ground. Peter swears he hears a distinct crack too and-- oh god the building’s gonna fall.

It was going to fall. He had to get out of there! It was going to fall and he was going to be trapped! And he was going to be all alone and nobody would ever be able to find him!

“Spiderman!” Captain America shouts through the comms with a pained grunt. “Where are you?! Get out here we need you! Hurry it up!”

Peter whimpers. He hugs his chest tighter, head whipping around to find his quickest exit because he had to get out of here before it fell on top of him and trapped him forever. The building was going to fall. It was going to fall right on top of him and he’d never be able to get out.

There’s another rumble and a harsh shake, followed by even more crumbling pieces of cement along with several chunks of rock raining from above as well. Peter cries out in a panic, arms flying up to cover his head as he cowers away from the falling debris. He’s frozen to the spot, eyes blown wide as he focuses his energy on controlling his breathing so he could actually force himself to MOVE goddammit! Oh god, he couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. He needs to get out of here!

“Spiderman!” Steve calls again over the comms with frustration lining his tone. Peter winces at the noise, but he answers despite his discomfort.

“Here sir,” Peter whispers, cowering away from the sound of his own voice. It was too loud. Too loud.

Ok… so maybe this is worse than he thought. Panic attack… not good.

“Get out here then, kid.” That was… that was Falcon's voice this time.

Peter gulps and he forces his foot forward, then the other. He watches the ceiling carefully as he makes his way through the half full parking garage, watching to make sure it wouldn’t catch him by surprise. He runs through the instructions Mr. Stark taught him for when he was having trouble breathing in situations such as this… he imagined the man’s voice coaching him through his breathing.

“Um-um sir…” Peter swallowed thickly once he caught his breath… Maybe Steve could help him. Maybe he could help like Mr. Stark helps him. “The-the building is going to fall.” Or maybe he’d realize that he’s not doing so well and sit him out just like Mr. Stark would do.

“What building?” The Captain at least had the decency to sound concerned.

“The building I’m in. The Parking Garage.” Peter answered, stepping closer and closer towards an open space he could escape from.

“Are there any civilians?”

“No.” Peter answered, sounding ashamed and childish.

“Then get out of there and get out here!”

Peter swallowed. He knows he shouldn’t… his whole body is screaming and now that he’s stopped fighting he can feel every cut on his body, and every step he took felt like his entire body was screaming. And god, he can’t breathe again… oh god. The building’s gonna fall and the only person that cares enough to actually get him out is a whole state away. 

Maybe he does need Mr. Stark after all.

“Um-um sir… I got um… I’ve gotten pretty banged up. I don’t think Mr. Stark would want me to--”

“Just walk it off, Spiderman. If you can still walk, you can still fight. We need your help.”

So Peter gulps down his panic and takes a running leap out of the building, landing in a deserted alleyway just outside. His breathing is still labored, his chest is still burning, and he’s pretty sure his ankle had officially snapped from the landing… but he’s out. Oh goodness he’s out. He got out. The building didn’t fall.

He falls to the ground, gloved hands covering his masked face as he leans against the alley wall and brings his knees to his chest. He’s out. He’s safe.

Then he cries… he knows it’s stupid. He knows. He should just walk it off like Captain America told him too, because that’s what a real hero would do. But, instead, he cries. Maybe it’s from relief or from the influx of input attacking his senses or maybe it’s the adrenaline completely wearing off and allowing him to finally feel the fatigue and the pain  encompassing him, controlling him, and screaming at him. His muscles tightened as he fought off the urge to scream and he just-- he couldn’t move. 

The commotion going on in the battle around him was so loud the vibrations reverberating on the ground beneath him shook him to the core which only heightened the throbbing pain in his head. He wanted to get out of here. He needed to get away but he couldn’t move. It was too loud! He needed to get away… but he couldn’t tell Captain America… he has to be better than this. He-he can’t be knocked down by a few bruises, a stupid trauma, and some loud noises. He was Spiderman for god’s sake.

“Just walk it off, Spiderman. Just walk it off.” He repeats it like a mantra until his teeth are gritting with such strength he’s sure he’d have broken his jaw by now if he were a normal human.

He needed to get out of here… 

“Peter, you are in severe distress. Contacting Mr. Stark.”

And he doesn’t protest this time.

***

Tony had gotten the call from Steve that New York was under attack… again. So he had politely dismissed himself from his meeting with the President and began the uneventful flight back to the city, knowing good and well the fight would probably be over by the time he got there anyways. 

He hadn’t felt the impending panic to rush until a half hour later when he received an alert on his HUD transmitted from Peter’s suit. He tensed, a cold sweat springing forth, then commanded FRIDAY to patch him through to Peter with a worried waver in his voice.

The line clicks and Tony doesn’t hesitate.

“Peter?! Peter! Peter do you hear me?”

Nothing. 

“FRIDAY, is he unconscious?” He’s panicking. What if the kid was hurt from the attack? Had he tried joining in to help?

“No sir,” FRIDAY answered. So Tony tried again.

“Peter, buddy. Peter, answer me pal. C’mon. You got me worried here.”

There was a small whine of acknowledgement and nothing else. At least the kid was alive. He was almost to the city… he was almost there, but he pushed the suit even harder. “FRIDAY, track his suit and get me on the team’s comm.”

“On it, Boss.”

He was met with a pained huff from none other than Captain Rogers himself. “You almost on site Iron Man?”

Tony doesn’t bother with pleasantries, but he does his best to tap down on his panic and remain calm.

“What the actual F*CK, ROGERS?!”

Ok, maybe not so calm.

“Wha-- Tony. I’m sorry to interrupt your important meeting but I believe this constitutes as an emergency.” Tony hates that he taught the man sarcasm, but at least he sounds peeved at his rudeness. Good. 

“Where’s the kid?” Tony spit, coming up on the outskirts of the city, dipping lower and beginning to weave his way through the skyscrapers to reach the location of the blinking dot on his HUD. He was going a bit faster than he probably should, but he needed to get to Peter.

“What kid?”

“You know DAMN WELL what kid! Where’s Spiderman?!”

“He was fighting with us just fine Tony. Calm down. We haven’t seen him for a few minutes, but I’m sure he’s fine.”

“Well he’s not,” Tony spat. “I gave you one order--”

“You don’t make the orders Tony,” Steve interrupted, sounding just a little more pissed off at his attitude, but Tony was not having it right now. 

“No!” He snaps, “This is where you shut it! The only reason you’re in charge is because I’m too goddamn busy keeping the world intact to micromanage and babysit all you idiots all hours of the day. You understand?! You put my kid in danger when I explicitly told you to stay the hell away!” And with that, he zooms right past the pitiful “threat” Steve, Bucky, and Sam were duking it out with, straight towards an alleyway behind an unstable looking parking garage.

“Tony! We need your help. The kid will be fine for a few minutes. You need to--” 

FRIDAY thankfully cut off communications before he could lose it on Steve and say something he wouldn’t regret. He landed with a harsh thud and he stumbled out of his suit, rushing towards Peter’s form huddled in the corner of the alley.

“Hey, kiddo,” He whispers softly, grabbing for the edges of the kid’s mask to pull it over his head so he might be able to breathe properly. He sees the trail of tears falling along his cheeks and the redness around his eyes as his chest heaves up and down with each struggled breath.

“Hey,” he tries again, this time grabbing the kid’s shoulders and pulling him close. “Calm down, Buddy. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

And then he sees the blood.... And the mangled foot... Okay, maybe he’s not so okay.

“FRIDAY. Scan him for injuries,” he instructs his AI under his breath. “Kiddo,” he then addresses Peter, “can you tell me what hurts?”

He’s met with a quiet keen as the boy slowly lifts his hands to clamp over his ears. “Loud,” he whines, curling further into himself as a loud crash erupts near the battle site.

Tony instantly knows what’s wrong and he begins rummaging through his pants pockets as he scans the list of injuries FRIDAY displayed on his watch. Broken ribs, broken leg, dislocated shoulder, lots of abrasion and gashes, lots of bruises, and a possible concussion… what the HELL was Rogers thinking? 

He tamps down on his anger and is able to fish out the special earbuds he always carried around for instances just like this. He moves forward to pull Peter’s hands away from his ears so he could insert the devices gently, being careful to not jostle him or touch his skin too much. The kid may not say anything about it, but Tony isn’t ignorant to the pain and discomfort that comes with touching when Peter’s senses are going haywire with hypersensitivity.

Once both are fitted in either ear, Peter’s body visibly sags with relief and Tony pulls him close, combing hair out of his face with a soft brush of his fingers. He’s careful of the cuts and bruises dressing the boy’s face and he swallows past a lump of fury as he slowly turns his comms back on.

Steve was already shouting at him, but he was quick to interrupt him with a quiet fury. He’s sure Peter could feel the rumble of his deep growl vibrate through his chest.

“Tell me what happened,” Tony interrupted with a huff.

Steve paused, obviously not a fan of being bossed around, but he gives in anyway. “This guy showed up in a powered suit which we think is supposed to be a knockoff of the Iron Monger--”

“I don’t give a shit about that lousy fight. Tell me what happened with my kid.”

“Stark,” Steve scolds, a sharp bite to his tone, “you seriously need to get your head on right. Get your priorities in check. The kid is fine. He can take care of himself.”

“I swear to GOD Rogers. If you don’t tell me what the hell happened this instant, the world’s gonna have a jolly ol’ time figuring why Iron Man blasted Captain America’s head into Timbuktu. You copy?” He moves away from Peter to allow the suit to surround him, then he picks him up carefully. One of the kid’s knees were busted and ribs on both sides were fractured so he tucked the kid close to his armor and tried not to jostle him, chest to chest and Peter instinctively wrapped his limbs around the armor.

Then Steve was explaining with helpful details pitched in here and there from the others.

“The kid was freaking out about the building falling and not feeling all that great or something and Cap told him to get on outta there and to walk it off so he can get back to helping--” 

“He did what?!” Tony shouts, boots already igniting as he slowly ascends. He’s heard Steve say that too many times to count and it never bothered him all that much before… but he said it to Peter? That was NOT okay. “You told my kid to walk it off when he told you he was hurt and scared? Do you have any idea how long it took for me to drill that self-preservation into him?! Do you have any idea how much pain this kid can withstand without complaining?! He is a child and he was HURT!”

“I didn’t think he was that hurt Tony!” Steve immediately defended. “I thought he was just being--”

“What? Dramatic? You thought a fifteen year old kid who was just thrown through 2 feet of concrete after being tossed around like a limp rag doll was being dramatic?”

“Ok, but--”

“Uh-uh, no buts.” Tony snapped. He turns his suit to face the “threat” the team was oh so struggling against. “I’m done discussing this with you.” He lifts the arm not supporting Peter and aims. “I want you all back at the Tower in an hour for a special meeting since none of you seemed to get this explicit stipulation the first time around.”

“You can’t be serious,” Natasha argued, “this thing is still terrorizing the… city…” Just as she finishes off her sentence, Tony’s newly designed missile hit it’s mark and the hunk of metal fell to the ground without so much as an explosion, along with its fleet of lousy robots. 

“One hour,” Tony growls. “If you’re late, then you can find somewhere else to sleep and mooch off of from now on.”

Then with that, he hugged his kid closer and took off towards the Tower, already contacting Helen and instructing her to get the medbay ready.

**Bonus**

Tony locked himself and Peter away in the penthouse after Helen finished treating the last of his injuries. He’d kept himself busy after she kicked him out while she was operating by telling each of his teammates off for putting his kid in danger and ignoring his small plea for help. Thankfully, they all kept silent during his harsh lashing, even Steve… he supposed it might be because he seemed a little unhinged, and, well, they’d never really seen him emote any type of emotion except for maybe a little irritation here and there. So he supposed their stunned silence was excusable.

But, he’s sure he was able to get the point across this time around. They’d never dare do anything like that again unless they wanted to find themselves facing some serious consequences. Hell he has all the power in the world to make their lives miserable. They depend too much on him to dare risk going against him.

So, now, here he was with his kid huddled close to him as they watched movies long into the night as his team licked their wounds a few floors below. 

“Tony,” Peter whispered, voice hoarse from disuse. Tony turned down to look at him. “I’m sorry.” The kid sniffed and maybe it was Tony’s imagination, but the kid’s arms seemed to squeeze around his waist just a little tighter.

He sighed and leafed his hand through Peter’s shower damp hair. “Don’t be sorry… just… next time, listen to me, yeah?”

Peter nods. 

“I just… I wanted to-- I couldn’t just not help.”

Tony humms, nose pressed firmly against his crown. “I see your predicament… you did good by the way. Just… I don’t want you getting involved with things like that without me there to back you up, alright?”

Peter pulled away far enough so he could look up at him with a frown. “You’re not always gonna be there to protect me Tony,” he argued, “I can do things myself. You said you trusted me.”

“I do trust you,” Tony agreed, “it’s just all the other bastards in the world I have trouble trusting.” He pushed back the kid’s hair, the backs of his fingers brushing against his forehead. “I just need to know you stay safe, and I know I won’t always be there… but I can try to be.”

“How will I ever grow if you never let me do things on my own?” Peter continued arguing petulantly, and Tony could sense the boy’s irritation rising. 

“Peter,” he replied sternly, “whether you like it or not, you’re my top priority. I don’t care if you’re fifteen or fifty, I will always do everything in my power to make sure you’re safe. You understand?”

Peter’s lip stuck out and he nodded his head pitifully, body falling against him once more. “Yes’sir.”

“Good. So, maybe next time, instead of deliberately disobeying me, give me a call or something if I’m out of town so I can at least be your voice of reason as I’m commuting. That way I may be able to keep you from flying head first into something you shouldn’t. Or maybe wait till I’m there and can properly assess the situation.”

“Fine,” Peter grumbled.

Tony smiled, and FRIDAY cued up their next movie. 

Half an hour in and Peter was yawning nonstop, eyes blinking lethargically until they eventually slipped closed. Just when Tony was sure the boy had fallen asleep, the kid surprised him again.

“You totally told off Captain America.”

“Sure did,” Tony chuckled.

He could feel Peter’s grin spread across his face as he whispered once more before finally slipping off to sleep. 

“So badass.”

Hope y’all enjoyed! Hit me up with any other fic requests. Can’t guarantee they’ll be done in a timely matter, but I try XP

[a-forgotten-spirit]

Dabi x (Ex)Hero Reader (8)

Pairing: Dabi x Fem Hero in training, Shinso x Reader (Platonic), Bakugou x Reader (Platonic), Bakugou x Todoroki

Summary: Why would I want to be hero when I can be happy. 

Words: +-3200

Warnings: Dating Dabi, anxiety, crying, depression, villain reader, mind control, Reader’s quirk is used for ‘evil’, feelings, slight gore, blood, swearing, violence, on the news, presenting, sneaking into UA, soft Bakugou, Slight TodoBaku, sad Bakugou, Sad Shinso, calling the boys by their first name. ANGST

Tags: @wnygirl2012​ @chaotic-neutral-logic-sass​ @immortalwolf18 @shigadabi-for-the-win​ @x-a-delama-x​ @star-witchs-blog​ @skeletonbun​ @axerrri​

A/N: First off I’m sorry. There is nothing wrong with being deaf or heard of hearing, it’s also ok to be a backstage coffee maker, it’s ok, I only put it in for the story. This is the final chapter, thank you for reading. If you want a feel for the first part of the chapter listen to “Blood Water” by Grandson.

Masterlist

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

________________________________________________________________

Chapter 8 

The night had passed as I expected it too when I decided to unenroll from UA, my mood was done and after my crying and telling Dabi what I had done he had held me and then given a bath as I sat staring at a wall in sorrow. All I wanted was to be a hero, I spent so much of my life on a pointless dream. My phone had been thrown across the room later that night in an angered rage at all the phone calls, messages and emails I was receiving from teachers, peers and my parents. I didn’t care, once thrown Dabi had decided for me to turn the phone off and place it on the bench then said not to enter the kitchen and to ask him if I needed anything. I had started crying again later on into the night, I was brought into his arms. 

“You’ll always be a hero to me” he had whispered, why did his words make my mood lift? A villain of all people, no, he was my boyfriend. My loving and caring boyfriend, the one who had held me when the world turned its back, the one who believed in me. 

I didn’t sleep that night, wrapped in one of Dabi’s jumpers, I had moved to the balcony somewhere in the early rising of the sun. I felt numb, I felt empty. I tried so hard yet nothing I did was good enough. Since the second I got my license my career had gone down steadily. I walked back inside, rummaging through the bag I had brought with me. 

I pulled off the jumper being left in a lace bra, I pushed my arms into the mesh shirt, I looked deeper into the bag and the ripped jeans I loved so dear were then pulled up my legs. Socks and boots, a nice look I had to admit. I pulled the makeup from my bag and walked to the bathroom, I did the most amazing makeup I had ever done. Winged eyeliner to put professionals to shame. Putting the rest of my makeup on I looked at myself in the mirror seeing colours and beauty, strength. I smiled. Fingers gliding through my hair I walked out of the bathroom and saw Dabi still asleep on the bed. 

When making it to the door I saw his coat he wore whenever he went out with the league. Smirking I took it from the hoot and let it sit comfortably on my arms and shoulder, he wouldn’t mind. The door closed behind me as I walked down the hall and then out of the building door. I would show everyone who I was, who they so desperately wanted me to be. I moved to the middle of the street and began my walk, people looked at me and then looked at the cloak and phone were being taken out. Good, video me. You all wanted something to gossip about. 

Under fifteen minutes I was at my first destination, a beat began as I walked into the building “Miss, you are not allowed in here” a receptionist smiled and when I turned to look at the female her eyes widened “The siren girl” her eyes then slowly tracked down and went wide. I saw her hand move and then a glint of a phone. 

“We’ll never get free” I sang slowly and her phone was thrown across the room with a loud bang I walked forward going to the elevator “Lamb to the slaughter” I pressed the button and slowly rose to the top floor, the caster's room. The slight ding of the elevator rang and then guards were running “What you gon’ do” they fell clutching themselves in pain. I walked into the caster's room seeing the female shaking behind her desk “When there’s blood in the water” she slowly stood and walked forward as I smiled. I looked around and within a few beats, she had a camera in her hand. “The price of your greed Is your son and your daughter” I walked through the building and the camera was rolling live. “What you gon’ do” I smiled into the camera and left the building “When there’s blood in the water” 

Walking into the next building was a little harder with all the entrances blocked. “Look me in my eyes” they opened, I made my way to the top of the building once more but the castor was gone “Tell me everything’s not fine” Within a few clicks he was found in an abandoned room. “Or the people ain’t happy” a camera rolling in his hands. “And the river had run dry” someone tried running at me with a kitchen knife, “You thought you could go free” he pulled the knife up as everyone turned to watch and the camera continued to roll “But the system is done for” the knife now lay in the screaming man's hand dug into the wall “if you listen closely” I smiled walked past and out of the station, I could now see pro heroes outside “There’s a knock at your front” they had no idea how powerful I am, I would rule this stupid little city. They wanted me to be a villain so bad why not give them what they want. 

“We’ll never get free, lamb to the slaughter” I walked down and they all stilled, these weren’t heroes I knew well. Did they think I wasn’t worth the real heroes? “What you gon’ do, when there’s blood in the water” as I walked through the heroes they began to attack each other, I couldn’t be blamed, I was just singing, I was worthless, I was never going to become a hero. “The price of your greed Is your son and your daughter” I could see people pointed phones at me and within seconds those phones were thrown to the ground, doing anything they could to destroy their devices. “What you gon’ do when there’s blood in the water” one more stop, just one. 

Rounding the corner I could see heroes at the end of the street, in front of the final station. They thought they could beat me, of course, they did. I wasn’t strong, I was nothing. “Beg me for mercy” I watched as Aizawa walked forward and then his eyes were covered. He tried to pry off the unwanted hands. His quirk could ruin my plans. “Admit you were toxic” I looked up at the top floor seeing pros and police alike. The camera was still rolling. “You poisoned me just for another dollar in your pocket” I walked down the street head high and shoulders back. All the pros stopped some even falling to the floor. “Now I am the violence” I yelled out and with a wide smile and one camera facing me and the other the building I shouted, “I am the sickness, Won’t accept your silence” this caster wanted to talk so much why was he hiding. “Beg me for forgiveness” the windows of the building shattered, small pieces dancing from the sky onto the street below. Now he could hear me. 

I could feel his coat flapping in the wind, I felt empowered, I felt strong. This is who I wanted to be. I didn’t want to be a hero, I wanted people to know my name. “We’ll never get the free lamb to the slaughter” I screamed loud and proud “What you gon’ do” doors were being unlocked “When there’s blood in the water” Pros were moving out of the way “The price of your greed” phones were being taken out of pockets “Is your son and your daughter” live streams opened camera facing the door “What you gon’ do” the door opened showing the man I wanted “When there’s blood in the water” he stepped out and the camera followed him, walking through the pros “When there’s blood in the water” the music continued as I smiled and his scarred face, I wanted him to remember this.

The Pros and police alike moved to form a ring around us I smiled and tilted my head letting his compulsion fade as he stood there shaking. “I am the people” the song started again and I walked forward “I am the storm” with a wide smile as he tried to scramble away “I am the riot” everything was rolling, the whole world would see me today, I would prove who I am “I am the swarm” my arms rose and he stood my head tilting. “When the last tree’s fallen” a nail ran down his cheek a tear following suit, the cameras zoomed in “The animal can’t hide” they treated me like this, this is what they wanted. “Money won’t solve it” nothing could help them now, I was in charge “What’s your alibi” I yelled, phones turned to the electronic news boards. I controlled this city.

‘I wanted to be a hero’ the words slid across the screen. ‘I am pathetic in the eyes of the news’ it continued. His eyes widened “I am a disgrace to the hero name” I watched another tear run down his face in fear. ‘I will never be a hero’ 

“What’s your alibi?” I screamed again, I still had a camera on me as more of his words and posts, videos were shown about me. The video of Shinso and I ‘he was my best friend, he laughed as well’ “What’s your alibi” I screamed for the final time.

‘I did just as you asked’ the printed words came up quickly and then slid off the screen ‘You didn’t want a hero, I became what you all wanted’ eyes went wide, people were starting to get it. More videos and posts, comments and theories. ‘Remember, this is what you wanted’ the cameras came back to me and the male. 

“I’m sorry” he stuttered out in fear, tears rolling down his face, he dropped to his knees kneeling on the ground “I didn’t mean it, you are so strong” he nodded frantically. People really would do anything to save their ass. “I was wrong, so wrong” he was. He was dead wrong. I looked down at him as he shook and stuttered over his words. 

“I wanted to be a hero” everything went silent though no one moved. “I worked my ass off to get where I was and you took that away from me” I laughed and shook my head shrugging “What can you do” I smiled again and sighed out, “You said you were going to ruin my career” I walked forward crouching down and moving the hair from his face before tightly gripping his chin “You just started a new one for me” his eyes widened “I’m going to be the most dangerous and well-known villain” my hand moved to dust off his shoulder “for you and the entire fucking world” I poked his chest. “And to start my new career, I’m going to ruin yours. Karmas’ a bitch” my hands rose next to his ears as he shook his head but couldn’t move. “I want a full coverage for this, wouldn’t you” I started twisting my hands slowly and a scream left his lips “You know nothing about sound waves” blood began to trickle from his ears slowly down his head “I don’t want to kill you, that’s too easy” I dropped my hands and he was looking around frantically. A noise left his mouth and with that, I slowly balled my hand into a fist and the noise stopped. “With no hearing and no voice, you can enjoy your new life as a backstage coffee maker” I stood up. 

Walking forward to the camera I smiled into the screen “Welcome back to channel whatever I hope you enjoyed this brand new top exciting story of the ex hero in training. I have a few questions to answer before this wraps up” I smiled and then began “Yes this is Dabi’s coat, I know it's shocking. She’s dating him, wow didn’t see that coming. No, she was not a spy for the League, she genuinely wanted to become a hero but as you can see that didn’t go to plan now did it ladies, gentleman, everything inside and out” I laughed lightly nodding “I hope to see 1-A become heroes, be the best you can be. Do it for me, the one who wasn’t allowed” my voice went dark but I let out a sigh “Anyway, this ends the show, hope you enjoyed this special of Radio Silence, the new top villain. Good afternoon” my hand went over the screen and all the cameras stopped rolling. 

~

Since that day my power and coverage have only grown. Dabi and I were the most wanted villains in the city. He did the dirty work and followed after my lead, he left the league and joined me in my new journey. We went after heroes abusing their power, strong civilians wreaking havoc just because they could. I was no longer seen as a disgrace, people followed me, people believed in me. New criminals would arise and seemingly die within a few days. I had destroyed my phone after my debut and left letters with two certain students in secret. I smiled at him as Bakugou and Todoroki caught me leaving his room through the window. 

“Y/N” Bakugou whispered, I didn’t even want to look at him, how could I. He had been taken by these people, they had taken him. What right did I have to even so much as look at him “Please” I swallowed thickly and turned looking at both of them? He looked at the letter. 

“You weren’t meant to be back for another twenty minutes. Your runs always last ninety-three minutes. You go and get a drink after” I whispered and Todoroki looked down and closed his mouth “I’m sorry” I whispered and as I was about to jump down I heard a sniffle. 

“We were meant to become heroes” Bakugou was crying, Todorokis’ eyes were wide and I was on the verge of letting all my regrets come flooding back “We were meant to start an agency and work together” I looked down and licked my dry lips. “I believe in you” I blinked trying to hold myself together. “Please don’t get caught” my eyes flashed to his, tears falling down his face and cheeks pink “Don’t get caught. Hurry up, go” I looked down and bit my lip and brought up my boot. I frantically pulled the laces off, had little music notes on them.

“Come here” I whispered and he walked forward. “Hand” his hand rose “To remind you of me I guess” I whispered and began to tie it around his arm “As soon as I leave feel free to destroy it, burn it, explode it. I don’t care but this is for you” I looked up and he was still crying “Become a hero Katsuki, become number 1” I finished trying the lace around his wrist and then hugged him tight and rough. “Todoroki, look after him for me. I’m counting on you” he bowed and I looked back to Bakugou “Goodbye” I fell from the window and I was gone. 

Bakugou was hard and now it was Shinso, how could I even look at him. I knocked on the window and his face rose with vigour, he was running over. The window flung open and then I was brought into his arms. I couldn’t stop the tears as I hugged him back. 

“I got into 1-A” I smiled and laughed at his revelation, he got my spot just as I asked. “It’s different without you. People turned on Bakugou and me” I looked down “Reporters begged for anything about you” he shook his head “If this is even half of what you had to deal with, I had no idea what you were going through” I sighed out and smiled. 

“I’m so happy Shinso” I shook my head and smiled “I am so happy with my life” he bit his lip and nodded as tears pricked his eyes. His arms were still on my waist. I wanted to stay here, like old times. Have a sleepover and watch bad movies and impersonate them. 

“I just want you to be happy” he whispered and I smiled. I moved and pressed the letter to his hand. “What’s this” how could I ever face him after all I’ve done. He had tried so hard to be in the hero course and one of his best friends is now the strongest villain. 

“It took me a long time to realise I wasn’t happy and what I wanted to say to you” I brought his wrist up and took out the shoelace smiling as I began to tie it “Sleepless nights and bursts of anger. I never wanted to hurt people Hitoshi, especially you and Katsuki” I shook my head and pursed my lips crying to hold back more tears. “I’m taking bad people off the streets. The streets are littered with hate and lies. Authorities don’t care unless a hero is involved” I swallowed “I’m trying to help, not in the best way but I am trying” I smiled and looked up to him finally finishing tying the shoelace. “I'm happy Hitoshi” I grabbed his face and smiled “I’ve never felt more free” 

He nodded and smiled “I know” I smiled and brought him into another hug. This was the last time I was going to talk to my best friends. This was the last time I would ever talk to them. The last time I would be in their presence without them coming after me. The last time we wouldn’t be hurt if they were seen with me. This was the end of our time, now it was their time. 

“Be a hero Hitoshi, for you” I smiled and moved back turning and moving to the window placing a foot out “Be the hero you want to be” I jumped from the window and I was off running through the school and climbing over the walls and making my way back to Dabi who had waited. 

“Are you ok?” he asked and brought me into his arms as I sighed and smiled with a nod. They were going to be the best heroes in the business. No one would cross them, they would make the world proud. 

“I’ve never been better” then we were off running through the city and screaming lyrics at the top of my lungs letting the whole city know who was awake and here to stay. Heroes chasing after me. Boots with no laces and a smile on my face as I ran from them. 

The next time I saw them, I saw their shoes. One with simple black laces and the other, the other had small music notes littering them as they fought the villains in the city. Together. 

“Dabi, I don’t think I want to be a hero anymore” I smiled placing my hands on my hips looking down at them, they were going to be heroes and I would be able to watch them. “I am happy” I turned to see my partner, smiled and moved to brush our lips together as the wind flowed around us.  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fin~

[silverinia]

I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

[matrixaffiliate]

Christmas in Quarantine

New Story! FFN and AO3

Quarantine has a way of making us want to have the best things in life, the things we can't have now. For Harry and Ginny, this involves hauling out the holy, playing carols, holiday treats, and a little of Christmas, right this very minute. Modern Muggle AU.

This little story was requested and prompted by several wonderful people on Tumblr. @gryffindormischief named the fic and wanted it written for Hinny. @petals-to-fish (who put up so many wonderful fics in one day for all of us and it really was Christmas) wanted to see a snowball fight, baking cookies, and mistletoe kissing. @inakindofdaydream (who adores Christmas after my own heart) wanted to see them almost getting caught by Santa Clause. And @shining-jul-of-hope who pointed out that it's nowhere near Christmas right now. :P I'm so grateful to these lovely people for sharing in the magic with me, and trusting me with their fabulous ideas!

For those of us not part of the UK, cornflour, apparently is what we call corn starch.

Christmas in Quarantine

It was strange, how little Harry Potter's life changed with the Pandemic, but as a blockbuster author who spent most of his time in his office writing the next installment of his fantasy novels, he was more or less socially distanced to begin with. What changed the most was that Ginny was home now. The football leagues were all canceled and that meant Ginny's professional career had been put on hold until further notice.

For the first week or so, it was fun. Harry put off the manuscript in exchange for keeping Ginny company in all the best ways. But then his publisher was emailing him about maybe getting more done since the world had shut down, and his editor started calling and so Harry reluctantly went back into work mode.

He figured Gin would be alright. She had the treadmill and other assorted workout equipment and her team did daily Zoom meetings now. When she wasn't goofing around with the team - he's walked into the kitchen when she's in those meetings, he knows what they're talking about - both their mothers liked to call and check-in, Marlene hosted a Kindle book club now, and Luna taught painting lessons through live videos, so Harry felt confident that Ginny didn't need him to be underfoot trying to "entertain" her.

But he started to wonder if he had underestimated what social distancing would do to his wife when Harry walked out of his office for a snack and heard the sound of... show tunes?

"Gin?" Harry poked his head into the sitting room.

"Alright, Potter?" Ginny was lounging on the sofa in front of the telly, watching something that looked horrendous on their high def screen.

"What's this?" Harry gestured to the telly.

"My mum always said I should watch the musicals she loved as a kid." Ginny shrugged. "And I've got time now, so I thought I'd give a few a go."

Harry chuckled, "You had me worried there. I've never heard you listen to show tunes and I wondered if you'd gone stir crazy."

Ginny rolled her eyes at him. "Don't let that book keep you past dinner again."

Harry shoved his hand in his hair. "I've got an alarm today, I'll be all yours the moment it goes off."

Ginny's returning smile left him wondering if maybe he ought to move that alarm up an hour.

After a week of Ginny watching the musicals her mum grew up with, Harry became accustomed to the show tunes playing from the sitting room. Gin would put on whatever one he assumed her mum had recommended and Harry would come out to assorted big band songs playing. It reminded him of going to his dad's parents' home when he was little, which felt oddly comforting given the way the world was attempting to implode upon itself.

And that was probably why Harry didn't think to question Gin's newfound obsession.

And when she started watching the same one at the start of every day, well Harry just figured that she really liked the music or the story, after all, the bits that Harry had seen were set during the Great Slump and he was starting to wonder if the world wasn't heading for another 21st-century repeat.

Harry was a bit taken aback after a week of her starting the day with the musical Auntie Mame to walk into the kitchen to grab lunch and find Ginny baking mince pies.

"Alright, Gin?"

Ginny grinned up at him from the pie crust she was rolling out.

"Thought I'd make us a bit of a treat."

Harry brushed some of the flour from her cheek.

"Mince pies?"

"You love mince pies." She set the rolling pin down to smear a floured hand across his cheek.

Harry tried to pull back but wasn't quick enough and laughed as he reached for a towel.

"You're right, so I guess the proper response should have been more along the lines of 'thank you' or maybe enthusiastic snogging?"

"I'll take the thank you now and the enthusiastic snogging after these pies are baked and cooled." Ginny kissed him and Harry moved closer to her, letting his lips move slowly against her, loving the way she melted against him.

"Thank you for making mince pies in April. I'll make sure that you get far more than enthusiastic snogging once I'm done working on this blasted novel."

Ginny bit down on his lip. "I can't wait."

Harry was surprised by Ginny baking mince pies. But the next morning he was downright floored to find their Christmas decorations out and mostly up when he stepped out to refill his tea.

"Gin? What on Earth?"

"We need a little Christmas, Harry." Ginny adjusted where she hung an ornament on their tree.

"It's April…" Was all he managed to say as he realized how much she'd managed to get done in the roughly three hours he'd been writing.

"Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!" Ginny laughed and smiled at the telly where Lucille Ball's character was talking about building a home for Jewish refugees.

"Right…"

Ginny moved back to the last couple of boxes of their Christmas decorations.

"I have a surprise at lunch. So don't work through it."

Harry blinked. "This isn't a surprise?"

"We need a little Christmas, Harry!" Ginny pulled the Santa hat or if the box and stuck it on her head.

And then it clicked.

"Are we in that musical?" He gestured to the telly.

Ginny huffed and dug into the box closest to her. "Well, I thought it looked like fun!"

"I can't sing," Harry grinned and moved to the boxes with Ginny. "But we could haul out the holy, maybe fill the stockings, turn on the carols."

Ginny's eyes filled back up with hope, "Bake Christmas cookies, have a snowball fight, watch for Santa?"

Harry slipped his hand into the box next to him as he smiled down at Ginny.

"I have no idea how we'll have a snowball fight, but yes, I'll go close out of my document for today and we'll have ourselves a little Christmas."

Then he lifted out what he'd been digging through the box for.

"But shouldn't we start our Christmas off right?" Harry held up the mistletoe over their heads.

Ginny chuckled, "Very smooth, Potter."

"I had to write a few romance pieces at university." Harry leant closer to her.

"Why have I never seen them?" Ginny smirked, leaning back away from him.

"They were rubbish. I tossed them the moment I had the grade." Harry finally pulled her close enough to capture her lips.

She laughed against him. "Go tell your boss you're out for the day while I go hang this above our bed."

Ginny snatched the mistletoe from his fingers and skipped to their bedroom.

By the time Harry had finished saving everything and putting a few ideas down in his notebook, Ginny was standing at his office door in her bikini with his swimming trunks in hand.

"What happened to Christmas?"

"I figured out how to have a snowball fight!" Ginny tossed him his trunks. "Come on!"

Then she headed for their balcony.

Harry couldn't change fast enough.

"Here," Ginny shoved a bowl at him as he stepped out the door to join her. "This is your ammunition, use it wisely because I'm not using any more of our cornflour for it."

"Cornflour?"

"Yes, and hair conditioner, which I've already told Amazon to send more of."

Harry laughed at how Ginny had moved their two patio chairs to make a battle line.

"I can't believe you managed to get us snow when it's 19 degrees out." Harry stuck his hand in his bowl of fake snow and grimaced at the texture.

"YouTube," Ginny shrugged and then jumped to one side of the chair battle line she'd created.

The moment Harry shut the door, she threw a ball of the 'snow' at this bareback and he grimaced at the way it felt sliding along his spine.

"This is an awful cross between that wretched Halloween slime we made in primary and store-bought decor snow."

"Wouldn't know," Ginny shrugged, "seeing as I haven't been hit by any of it."

Harry didn't move fast enough as she threw another 'snow ball' at him and it slid down his side. He groaned as the feeling of it crawling along his side sent shivers across his skin before reaching into his own bowl and tossing a large handful back at Ginny. She ducked and it splatted against the wall behind her.

There wasn't really much 'snow' between the two of them and when he missed Ginny by a hair for the third time, Harry decided to go all in. He jumped up on the patio chairs and pushed his foot on the back of the chair, tipping it over and taking his wife by surprise as he dumped his bowl over her head.

Ginny yelled and shoved him back onto the toppled chair as she threw the last of her snow at his face. Then she collapsed on top of him and laughed as they tried to keep the 'snow' from their eyes.

"I think a shower is in order." Harry pushed his caked glasses up into his hair. "And then what would you like to do next?"

"I have everything out for some Christmas cookies, icing and all." Ginny wiped some snow from her forehead before it could slide completely into her eyes.

"Baking and Christmas carols?"

"And maybe a bit of something else…" Ginny moved to kiss him but immediately backed away when more 'snow' tried to sneak into her eyes.

Harry laughed and pushed them to stand. "Lead a blind man to the shower, won't you?"

After a long shower, Harry wrapped his arms around Ginny's waist as carols played through her phone and she measured out the flour.

"Aside from the tank top, this feels like Christmas."

"Maybe we should spend Christmas in a warmer climate from now on," Ginny brushed a bit of flour on his nose.

"Our mums would probably hunt us down for something like that."

"Ooo, adventure and a holiday, sounds like a book waiting to be a bestseller."

Harry laughed and helped with the cookies and icing. Slipping his phone out here and there to jot down a few notes.

"I thought you told the boss you were off for the day." Ginny pouted as Harry set his phone down to ice another cookie.

"Just writing a few ideas down," Harry leant over and kissed her cheek.

"Typing, not writing," she teased.

"You said you had a surprise for me and to not work through lunch." Harry redirected their conversation.

"Well, I was going to use it to convince you to go along with having a bit of Christmas in April. But since you decided to jump on board without it, I'm saving it for tonight." She bit her lip.

"Tonight, eh?" Harry stood and moved to the fridge.

"Alright, Potter?" Ginny frowned.

"I know that look," Harry started pulling out sandwich fixings. "I'm going to need more than sugar cookies and icing for lunch if you've got that look."

Her laughter felt more genuine in that moment than it had since the world hit pause, and Harry grinned.

They really did need a little Christmas.

They spent the rest of the day 'virtual caroling'. For which his parents not only thanked them but joined in, taking the phone along as they dug up all the Christmas boxes and argued if they could thaw the ham overnight or if they should just make whatever they had on hand for a family Christmas dinner the next day hosted via Zoom meeting.

Harry scrounged up everything for a shepherds pie dinner and they put on A Christmas Carol after as they ate the iced cookies and drank hot chocolate for dessert.

It felt like Christmas.

Harry felt light and he felt happy and he could see the happiness and lightness in Ginny as well. They definitely needed a little Christmas in all of this pandemic insanity.

"Thank you," he kissed her hairline.

Ginny smiled up at him, snuggling closer to his side. "Thank you for being on board. This has been so much fun. I forgot about how awful it is out there."

Harry kissed her, letting himself indulge in the softness of her lips, the taste of chocolate and sugar on her lips.

"Do I still get to see that surprise?" Harry kissed along her jawline to the spot behind her ear that made her breath catch.

Ginny laughed, "Wait here."

She pushed up and slid out of the room with a confidence that made it a strenuous exercise in self-control for Harry to not follow her out of the sitting room.

To distract himself he took out his phone and jotted down a few more notes.

"I might just throw your phone in your office and lock the door."

Harry quickly locked said phone and tossed it on the side table.

Then he looked up.

Ginny had on a Father Christmas cloak, white wig, and a set of glasses that had the white beard attached.

"Wow…"

Ginny laughed and undid the belt that held the robe shut.

Harry's initial confusion dropped instantly as his wife's body was revealed, no imagination needed.

"We're losing the beard," he smirked and moved to gently pull the glasses-beard combo off Ginny's face.

"What Father Christmas doesn't have a long white beard?" She teased as her fingers moved along his waistband.

Harry kissed her slowly as his hands moved slower against her freckled skin.

"The one who is actually my wife," he pulled back before sweeping Ginny into his arms and carrying her back to their bed, and the mistletoe hanging over it.

The sun long set and the moon high in their bedroom window, Harry waited patiently until Ginny's breathing became even and he was sure she was fast asleep. As quietly as he learned to move when he was a child spying on his Christmas gifts, Harry snuck out of their bed and down to his office.

It took the better part of an hour to get it how he wanted it. Then it took another half-hour to get the printer to print it the way he wanted. And another half-hour after that to find the freaking wrapping paper. But after roughly two hours of trying to be silent, Harry snuck into the sitting room to set the gift under the tree.

He went to grab this phone from the side table when a cloaked image came into his peripheral vision and he almost cried out as all the anxiety of a child being caught by Father Christmas came rushing up at him from years as a boy trying to spy on Christmas gifts.

"Why are you out here?" Ginny's groggy voice sounded and Harry felt relief rush through him like a tidal wave.

"Just grabbing my phone. I forgot to plug it in to charge while we slept."

"Come to bed, you're how I don't freeze to death at night."

Harry slipped his arms around Ginny and led them back to bed with a smile on his face.

He hadn't been caught by Father Christmas, but more importantly, his wife would still get her surprise on Christmas morning.

And just like childhood, Harry awoke far too early, and far too excited to go back to sleep. Though rather than for what he would receive, it was for what he was giving.

"Gin," he nuzzled her hairline and kissed her cheek.

Ginny made a sound that was a cross between a moan and a grunt.

"Don't you want to see what Father Christmas left for you?"

"I'm Father Christmas and I didn't leave anything out because it's not actually December the 25th." She mumbled into her pillow.

Harry chuckled. "Let's just go have a look."

Ginny blinked her eyes open and frowned. "Only if I get to come right back to bed."

Harry put his hand over his heart. "I promise, well go see if there are any surprises and then come right back to bed."

"Fine," Ginny pushed up from the bed, her Father Christmas robe slipping from her shoulders. "But if this is how you're going to be with children then we're rethinking our future plans."

Harry laughed and forced himself not to run full tilt down the hall and leave his adorably sleepy wife in the dust.

He held his breath as Ginny moved to the tree and his lone gift that sat wrapped below its branches.

She turned to look up at him, bewildered, "What's this?"

"Open it," he shrugged.

Ginny pulled the wrapping away and slid the booklet from the manilla envelope he'd used to hold it.

"A Holiday and an Adventure," She read aloud. "Harry, what is this?"

Harry stuck a hand in his hair. "Well since you're not on the team for the foreseeable future, and you've always got the best ideas when I'm stuck in a story, I thought maybe, maybe you'd like to write a book together, you and me. All those pages in the booklet are the notes I was jotting down all day yesterday. And I've organized them out the way I do with my novels. If you like the idea and we finish the story, we could send it over to my editor. See what she thinks."

Ginny looked up from the booklet, eyes wide. "You want to write a book with me?"

Harry smiled, "I kind of already do. You're my sounding board and you find more of my plot holes than my editor does. So I guess I'm really asking you to be an active participant so we can put your name on the cover too."

Ginny looked back down at the booklet before launching herself at him. Harry caught her and managed to spin them around so he fell on the sofa and not his back.

"So is this a yes?" Harry chuckled as he kissed her hairline.

Ginny kissed him enthusiastically before jumping up. "Come on! I want to start right now!"

Harry snagged her around the middle before she could go running off. "What happened to wanting to go right back to bed?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Ginny laughed, "do you have any idea how badly I've wanted some real control in your novels?"

"Now you have a story to be in control of." Harry kissed her. "Happy Christmas, Gin."

Ginny's smile shone like the rising run out their sitting room window. "Happy Christmas, Harry."

[the-magic-lava-lamp]

Ragnarok & Roll

Summary: Thor rolled his eyes. “Of course, I miss you.” He shook his head. “But this is our path. We’re both working really hard right now, chasing our science-y dreams.” He laughed, tongue slightly peeking out of his smile. “And while we’re on the subject...” 

Bruce raised his brow. 

“Maybe listen to the radio station while you’re working.” 

Ships: ThorBruce (mentions of ValJane)

Word Count: 5,010

“Seeing three concerts a week, that’s what got me the gig.” 

Peter Quill smirked in a way that might’ve come across as rude if he wasn’t simultaneously looking blissfully proud of himself. 

Gamora glanced at the back of her boyfriend’s head as she passed by his conversation, headphones slung around her neck. To put his interviewee to wise would mean admitting that Peter only truly got the gig because he was just the best at pestering the project head. She restrained herself from sharing that story because Peter was far to fond of music, in a way she just couldn’t understand, and seemed to be taking this quite seriously.  

“They saw my dedication to good music and made me the main DJ host.” Quill swirled his spinning chair and made a wide gesture to his equipment. “They haven’t regretted the decision since.” His hands cupped the back of his head as he made a care-free shrug. 

The interviewee, Thor Odinson, looked amused as he smiled. “Not even that time you accidentally left while you were still on air?” 

Quill chuckled. “Not so much...regretful. Maybe more...pleasantly surprised that I handled it so well?” He smirked but tilted his gaze in a way that looked incredibly flustered. Thor laughed with him, liking the back-and-forth. “Now, judging by the long hair and all-around...” Quill swirled his finger around his own face. “Hippie look that you’ll be down with our style here. Our ‘Awesome Mix’, if you will.” 

Thor’s eyebrows drew together as another hearty round of laughter escaped him. “I am most pleased with your collective taste.” He gestured towards the two of them. “You and your crew seem to have a lot of fun on air.” 

Thor continued smiling to himself as his eyes drifted around his college’s radio station studio. The room wasn’t particularly small but sort of tight with large posters on the bland walls. The desk was chunky on it’s own but the three large mic stands (which could swing out) didn’t help either. 

Quill looked rather proud at that last sentiment, which Thor took as a good sign. “Yeah we are a fun bunch.” He looked positively joyous and would probably burst if he saw the way Gamora’s sincere smile took over her face. “Why should you be part of our team?” 

                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

—CUT—- 

  ~*REC*~

The fuzziness focuses to the warm setting of the space between Thor’s chin and chest. He shook his head and thumped his hand on the side of the bulky camera. There was a few seconds of frizzling sounds before it seemed to beep awake. “Is it on?” His voice was soft and confused, growing even quieter as his head twirled back. He was attempting to glance at his friend behind him, who’s only part in the current shot was his fast-moving hands. 

“Is the red light flickering?” 

The shot wiggled again as he examined the camera and finally looked through the viewfinder. There was able a slightly foggy vision of their small apartment, he moved slightly and it zoomed right in on Bruce’s focused stare.

There was a small pile of what should be parts for their kitchen table in front of him but looking at the mess (and zooming in further)...it looked like junk. “Yes! We are officially recording.” Came Thor’s undeniably joyful voice. 

Bruce peeked up from what looked to be a wooden leg and smiled, bashfully as he pushed his glasses up the slope of his nose. 

The sun was in it’s sweetest spot, hanging just outside their window. The peace of domestic life came with it and bathed them each in bars of golden light that broke through the new blinds. The shot didn’t do it much justice, picking it up in a sort of light-fuzz. 

Stubbornly but patiently Bruce went back to his directions. He threw open the pamphlet and clicked his tongue. The glossy pages easily flipped and flung from his fingers. He smacked a page down, gliding his finger down the spine and landing it on top of the black and white fuzzy photo of the completed piece of furniture. “I have no idea how to turn this-” Bruce waved the table leg around the pile of pieces “Into this.” He held out the photo to Thor & his trusty camera. “Do you honestly think it’s possible?” 

“I don’t know. Let’s ask the audience.” Thor chuckled and turned the shot onto himself with the happiest smile. 

-“So...Loki now or us in like ten years?” Bruce smirked and Thor burst into happy, hearty laughter. The true and genuine affection he so obviously felt from the mention of 10 years in the future was clear on his face. 

“It was my idea first. Loki just gave me the camera.” He shared a observational glance with the equipment. “I want to log our memories, Banner.” He tore his eyes away to put his full attention on Bruce again. “Loki just wants to have footage of me embarrassing myself for future amusement.” 

The shot spun around the room a few times before landing back on Bruce’s crouched position again. The man smiled in that way which suggested he understood the true intentions behind Loki’s gesture. Which...he did. They both did. 

Thor and Loki’s relationship had grown much stronger over the last few years. After dealing with the rough passage of their younger years and struggles with their father, at some point they’d just decided turning on each-other was stupid. 

For years, Loki felt inferior. Which stemmed from the fact that his codependent need to gain his fathers favor was never resolved. That much was obvious to Bruce and at some point, Loki finally explained that all to Thor, who felt awful for being so ignorant despite his own issues. 

So Loki’s memories of growing up weren’t always warm & fuzzy. That’s why Bruce figured his amusement & support of ‘Home-movies’ being made now wasn’t just for the sake of trickery. Maybe that was just a bonus. 

Bruce’s train of thought was seen in the shot but obviously couldn’t all be interrupted correctly just by viewfinder. “It is a nice idea.” Bruce wiggled his body to get comfortable on the hardwood floor. “Considering, I can put them on in the background when we’re away from each-other.” Bitterness was clear in that tone. 

Thor’s voice hummed from behind the camera. As of late, both college students had become swept up in their course-work and spent long hours apart. Bruce was deep into his back-and-forth with biochemistry studies while Thor was in the midst of his astronomy/astrophysics major. It was a bit of a strain on both of them. 

Most frustrating were the few hours Bruce spent down at the lab to study & experiment. Thor didn’t like the idea of his boyfriend rattling around the place by himself, bothered & stressed. Bruce didn’t exactly love it either but the isolation proved to help his focus. 

The camera shot wiggled once more as Thor placed it on the cushion of the lounge chair next to him. An accidentally well-framed scene, with both men in the shot looking incredibly domestic. Bruce still fumbling with the table pieces while Thor glanced at the instructions for himself. 

“The goal is to have it put together by your Birthday.” Bruce shot Thor a smile smile. 

The red light kept flickering away, forgotten until the battery ran itself out, proved worth the extra long footage. Capturing Thor’s wild yet softly earnest grin as he reached out and grabbed for Bruce’s hand, who instinctively squeezed back.  

—CUT—-

                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“-Now, these are probably the worst hours to host. Like straight up boring.” Quill smiled as if that wasn’t an odd way to advertise the job. Thor decided he liked the weirdo. “But if I offered you the chance to be the regular Co-host DJ for the 1 to 5 am time-slot on Tuesday & Thursdays you’d say?” He waved his hand out with excitement. 

“Yes.” Thor happily tipped his chin and reached out to shake hands on that deal.

Quill looked surprised but at the same time, beaming with appreciation. Gamora was peeking from over her shoulder as she reorganized some of the records that she was sure Peter would forget to do. 

“Good deal, man!” Quill reached out and swung their grasp up-and-down a few times before leaning back in his chair. “Let’s break this interview for lunch and then we’ll let you have a feel for what the job while be like.” 

: : : : : : : :

“I want to introduce you to the little crew which will accompany you during your shifts.” Quill ran around the hallway as if he owned the place which was a sure sign that he was appreciated by his peers. His grin was hearty and his walk was more like a happy bounce. 

With a sharp turn, he was opening the studio door and slurping down the rest of his soda. The creaky thing swung open and a girl with wavy blonde hair stood up straight from where she’d been previously leaning. 

“That’s Carol Danvers.” Quill pointed and flashed a little finger-gun to her. “She’s the other co-host.” 

Carol shot Thor a tiny, corner grin and waved her hand. She was almost exactly how Thor pictured a college radio DJ would look like. The flannel tied at her waist and tightening her ‘Bob Seger’ concert t-shirt were the perfect attire for an unofficial uniform. “Excited for every insomniac in town to know our names?” She popped her knee out slightly and smirked. 

Thor smiled softly and nodded his head. “Very.” 

                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thor! I’m so tired that I might just pass out. This workload is slowly killing me. Good news though, you can save some time and just bury my body under the piles & piles of papers I have to do! ” Bruce started talking, or rambling really, before he even had the apartment door fully open that first Tuesday afternoon. 

Thor frowned softly as he slouched forward. Both of his arms glided across the counter but the right hand was serving as a stand for his phone. Bruce almost thought his boyfriend had given up on the bulky camera to film their home-videos but before he could speak-

“I never knew you to be that dramatic, Bruce.” 

Thor turned the phone around to reveal Loki, in the middle of his makeup routine with a tiny smirk on his face. Bruce registered him and chuckled while he started to put his things all over the small counter (table still in pieces on the floor). 

“Should’ve seen me during my Freshman year of High-School, buddy. To this day, the most use I got out of a purchase was my .99 cent addition of Elton John’s ‘I Think I’m Going to Kill Myself’ to my music library.” Bruce pursed his lips in a joking manner but Thor wasn’t all that fond of thinking of Banner in that way. He reached his free hand under the table and gently pulled Bruce closer, who naturally leaned into it. 

“Good look, by the way-” Bruce tipped his chin towards Loki on screen and cut himself off with a sip of Thor’s water. “Going somewhere special?” 

Bruce and Loki hadn’t gotten off on the best foot, nor the worst foot really, when they were first acquainted. But it had been sort of awkward due to the evolving involvement in each others lives that Thor & Loki were experiencing. 

The brothers were closer than ever these days which Bruce couldn’t be more grateful for. He wasn’t a therapist or anything but he knew just as soon as he & Thor started dating their Senior year of High School; The two of them desperately wanted to bond, even if they had a hard time showing it.  

They had just started to feel more like close siblings when college came into the picture, which sent Thor to New York and Loki to California later. 

Loki flashed an accidental genuine smile. “Thanks.” He mumbled, swiping at his eye. “And no. My roommate is insisting we go out and do something. You remember? I told you about her.” 

Thor nodded. “Yes. You described her as the-...?” He trailed off, looking to Bruce with the cutest thinking face. 

Bruce glanced over from cleaning his glasses. “The weird girl?” He chuckled. “Who you moved in with after a week of knowing her?”

“I thought you said she was closed off? You didn’t know if you got along.” Thor added. 

Loki hummed, tapping a tiny brush against the sink. “Yeah well, I like her now.” He shrugged. “She thought she was a witch when she was a kid and she has Halloween sound effect records from the fifties. And I think she actively listens to them.” Loki pointed his thin brush.

“That’s how I pick my friends.” Bruce chuckled softly. 

“Plus, her brother is also the complete opposite of her.” Loki smirked and picked up his phone to walk carefully through his apartment. “So we have that in common.” He lowered the shot and seemed to loose interest in looking at the screen. “Ok. I’m gonna hang-up soon.” 

Thor chuckled. “Make sure you have your work done before you go out. One time I-”

Loki frowned. “Do you have to try and bond with me while Bruce is listening? It’s embarrassing.” He smirked, obviously uncomfortable. 

Thor just smiled again. “Have fun.” 

“Bye.” Loki put his phone down and hung-up. 

Bruce wrapped his arm around his boyfriend and started rubbing small circles on his back. He set his glasses down on the counter and gently leaned closer to kiss Thor’s warm hair. 

“I love you.” Thor mumbled gently and no matter how many times he’d heard it, Bruce still needed a second to breathe that in. 

“I love you too.” He let his chin rest atop Thor’s head. “Sorry about my long nights at the lab.” He added miserably. “I won’t do it on your Birthday.”

Thor pulled away slightly and eased into their next touch; dragging his hand down Bruce’s arm and grabbing his hand which dangled between their bodies. He met his eye-line and couldn’t hold back an ounce of his adoration of Bruce from bleeding into his stare. “You don’t have to apologize.” 

Bruce didn’t seem entirely too convinced. 

“We’re gonna be in each others lives forever, Banner.” a shrug rolled off his shoulders as if it were just that simple. Life and the great beyond. “I think we can afford sacrificing a few days for the sake of your passion.” Thor raised their grasp and shook it lightly. 

“My mother always said I was a...visionary child, determined too. I had big plans at eight years old.” Thor rolled his lips together. “I have been dreaming of our life together since I met you.” He looked away, sort of bashful. “We’re gonna be just fine.” Another shrug. 

Bruce pursed his lips and might’ve blushed. “That was really cheesy.” He chuckled and admired the way Thor giggled. “But don’t you get lonely...dreaming about that all on your own while I’m up in the lab?” 

Thor rolled his eyes. “Of course, I miss you.” He shook his head. “But this is our path. We’re both working really hard right now, chasing our science-y dreams.” He laughed, tongue slightly peeking out of his smile. 

“And while we’re on the subject...” 

Bruce raised his brow. 

“Maybe listen to the radio station while you’re working.” 

                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{ *Faded notes of Zeppelin’s classic; Immigrant Song, as it ends*}  

:

: {*Steady static*}

:

:

: 

: {*Loud Record Scratch*}

Carol playfully smacked her fist onto the table next to the co-host who’d suddenly faded off. 

Thor picked his head up and finally reached over and lifted the record from the player. “Now, I know what you’re thinking.” He smirked as he lowered the microphone closest to him. “Oh no, who’s this guy and what has he done with Quill?” He chuckled warmly & waved his arms about to nobody. 

The tiny buzzing of the neon sign outside the door (reading ‘RECORDING’) bounced in his ears. 

“I’m sure the five people listening are thinking just that.” Carol fiddled with her mic, the blondes shared a quick smirky grin. “I’m Carol and that’s Thor-” Both DJ’s gestured as if people could see them, Thor even waved into the microphone. “We’ll be the hosts for all you nocturnal friends.” 

“Ask me why I took this junk time-slot, Carol.” Thor bumped his new partner’s elbow. 

“Why did you take this time-slot, Thor?” She happily obliged.

“I’ve been dating my boyfriend for nearly three years now.” Thor spoke with earnest ease that Carol couldn’t help but admire. “He’s incredibly hard-working and dedicated to his studies.” He pulled his mic even closer. 

“But that means he’s off doing his research alone, in a lab into the early hours. I didn’t like for him to be so lonely.” He shook his head, rolling his lips together. “So, because I can’t just stay with him, I thought I could accompany him this way. It just so happened to align with his study days.” 

“We love cute couples!” Carol spun around in her chair. “My girlfriend & I decided to race each-other on the way to the studio.” She slapped her hand over her heart and sighed affectionately. “I cheated and took a short-cut & she still beat me. Now she’s asleep in a spinny chair in the corner even though she bet me five dollars that she wouldn’t be too tired to listen the whole show.” 

Thor glanced at Maria, still asleep with the pair of headphones on. He smiled. 

“I love her so much.” Carol slid her hand off her chest and leaned her elbow on the table. “What song do you want to dedicate to your boyfriend, Thor?” 

Thor paused in thought, hoping that Bruce was listening. He prepared the song to play with an eager yet nervous expression. “This is ‘You Got It’ by Roy Orbison...for Bruce.” 

:

{ *Faded notes of Roy’s intro*}

: : : : : : : :

“I'm glad to give my love to you I know you feel the way I do.

Anything you want, you got it Anything you need, you got it Anything at all, you got it Baby...”

Bruce was alone yet still felt the need to hide his embarrassed grin behind the cupped palm of his hand. 

                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce had patiently waited until the morning to say anything about the show, due to the fact that Thor was asleep when he came home & he was too dead tired to wake him. 

When he woke up to find himself alone in bed, he figured Thor was allowing him to sleep in because he knew it to be his free day. 

And though Bruce was still exhausted, he found the energy to roll out of bed and bound to the small kitchen area where his boyfriend was eating eggs & reading through a textbook. 

Instead of initially speaking, Bruce darted past him and gently pushed Thor’s head as he went past him to grab a plate for himself. He could almost feel the heat of the man’s blush. 

“Did you like the show?” Thor leaned so far back that his chin was pointing to the sky in order to watch Bruce go about his morning routine. 

Another smile was hidden, behind a coffee mug this time, as Bruce sipping at the pre-made cup. He slowly glided over (Thor timing the speed in which he lifted his head accordingly) and started running his hands through Thor’s hair. 

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” 

Thor took that as victory and hummed happily.

“But seriously...” Bruce paused. “I loved it. I love hearing your dumb voice when I’m about to explode from stress. Always calms me down.” He chuckled. “But you really don’t have to keep yourself up on those nights too.” He frowned but felt all bashful again when Thor shook his head. 

“I love making you happy.” Thor shrugged and Bruce shook his head with a smile. “Can we go to that drive-in root-beer place that I’ve been dying to try for dinner?” 

Bruce pursed his lips and glanced at their ‘table’ on the floor. “The one that’s across the street from the abandoned 7/11?” He asked, remembering the time he’d gotten his last Slurpee there with Valkyrie. She had gotten a roller hot-dog and dipped it into her slushie. And he’d nearly fought that worker for dropping the first dog on the floor and trying to shove it back on the tray before they noticed. That place was probably better off closed...

“Yeah. I want one of those Root-beer Floats.” Thor grinned. 

“You don’t want to save the little trip for your Birthday? What’s your schedule like for today again?” Bruce ran his fingers out of the blonde and took a seat next to Thor on the couch. 

“I have my experimental physics class with Heimdall and Jane at three.” He gestured to his textbook. “But that’s all for today.” 

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

—CUT—-

 ~*REC*~

-”Oh, I got it! Bruce, look!” The camera shook and got a few glamorous shots of Thor’s bumbling legs as Bruce moved to look through the viewfinder.

“Now what?” Came a voice came from the right. The camera whirled around to get a well framed shot of Valkyrie leaning against a stop sign, holding a forgotten chip up to her mouth.

“This is Valkyrie as she was on this fine Saturday, folks.” Thor narrated, zooming in close on her face. Valkyrie scowled and reached over to playfully slap him, the camera shook and the shot fuzzed a little. 

“Hey! That cost us a pretty penny.” Bruce chuckled and Thor smiled, giving the camera the finger to show he was ok. 

“Charming, isn’t she?” Thor zoomed in once again while Valkyrie’s laughter got louder and louder. The camera turned and shook as Thor’s hand came into the shot. The sound of the pebbles crunching becoming the main sound.

The three of them continued walking down the sidewalk and into town to enjoy some of their free-time. 

Valkyrie strolled slightly behind the boys, making the occasional face at the camera. “I thought the idea was to record family videos? Why are you so desperate to zoom in on me-?” She wrinkled her nose playfully as the sound of the zoom buzzed from the camera. 

“You’re apart of our family!” 

Both boys made offended sounds. The camera captured a cute shot of Bruce turning to bump her arm & Valkyrie bumping him back with authentic joy all while Thor was still trying to explain how important she was. 

She skipped forward and leaned her elbow atop Bruce’s shoulder. “Your radio shows have been really entertaining by the way.” She glanced up at the taller man with amusement. “How’s someone get a song dedicated to her?” She teased. 

Thor smirked. “She could try finally asking out Jane & maybe she’ll call in a dedication for her-” The camera lost it’s focus as Valkyrie tried to whack him again.

which inevitability turned into her chasing him down the sidewalk.

“Woo-hoo! Run Thor!” Bruce shouted from behind them. 

As the chase ended officially, Thor whipped the camera around to get a good shot of Valkyrie but ended up tumbling on his ass. He was laughing so hard, he nearly dropped the camera.

Thor stretched his arm out, allowing Valkyrie to swipe the camera. She raised it, turning it to her own face, Bruce way in the background. “Future me, these two seem to think I’m in it for the long run so I hope you’re still being the glue that holds this group together.”

“Don’t flatter yourself! We all know that’s Heimdall!” Thor shouted from where he was laying in the grass. 

She turned the camera to get a shot of Bruce now charging after them. Once he got close enough, she bent her knees slightly and took on the tiny man’s weight as he jumped on her back like he’d done it a million times. 

With Bruce nervously on her back, she gently tossed the camera to Thor. 

—CUT—-

                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{ *Faded notes of rock music*}

: : : : : :

“That was ‘Jukebox Hero’ by Foreigner. Lovingly dedicated to Maria Rambeau, who allowed me to perform that song to her during karaoke night. She’s most likely asleep right now but just know, I’m with you baby.” Carol giggled. 

“If anyone happened to record that moment, please call the number to let me know-” Thor chuckled as Carol thumped her elbow into his side. “Anyway, keep on listening because here comes the start of our AC/DC Rock Block--” Thor prepared the music. “Requested by the great Tony Stark, who never sleeps.” 

As ‘Shoot to Thrill’ faded in, both DJ’s peeled off their headphones and tended to their immediate cravings. Carol went to the tiny coffee machine to brew herself some energy & Thor went to the bathroom. 

When he returned, he plopped back down in his soft chair and took the offered cup of coffee Carol made for him. He was enjoying the slight burn that came down his throat as he drank when three sharp and soft knocks came at the door. 

Thor got up to let the person in & couldn't be happier with the new company. “Banner!” He grabbed his arm and closed the door behind them. 

Bruce slipped in, books to his chest and a soft smile on his face. “Hey. I finished up what I was doing in the lab early so I just came to...see the magic.” He chuckled. “Hi, I’m Bruce.” He politely reached his hand out to shake.

Carol smiled back. “Carol. I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

She watched as Thor kneeled down next to the chair Bruce sat in and started up a small-chat. It was endearingly close as the two men where startlingly in sync with their movements. 

Bruce flattened his palm and rested his chin in the small dip of his hand. Thor casually threw an arm around his shoulder and warmed his back as he curled up on the velvety chair. The pile of books poked slightly into his stomach, reminding him that he should probably be sitting up straight. Though he made no move to do so. In fact, he snuggled down further and his eyes followed his boyfriend’s fingers as they played with the top notebook, flipping it open. 

: : : : Bruce ended up falling asleep near the end of the show, glasses slowly slipping down his nose but never falling off. 

                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce Banner set up that lovely camera on the kitchen counter before he entered their bedroom...& hopped directly atop Thor. “Good Morning to you too, Banner!” The blonde rolled over and sat up against the headboard. 

“I made pancakes.” Bruce hopped off the bed and held out his hand (as if Thor needed his help to get up). 

                                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*REC*~

A sleepy looking Thor was the first to enter the shot, following Bruce out into the dark space of their living area. He was rubbing a curled fist into his eye & yawning when the lights suddenly turned on and--

“Surprise!”

The room was suddenly revealed to be filled with their closest friends and Thor nearly jumped clear out of the shot. Bruce looked on with a beaming smile. “Happy Birthday!” He picked up the camera and strolled over to poke his boyfriend’s side. 

The screen fuzzed over as Thor lifted Bruce up with adoration & cleared it’s focus on a closeup of his beard. A few people whistled (Tony Stark’s was perhaps the loudest). 

“Must you do that in public?” 

The sudden (and close) voice of his brother nearly caused Thor to drop Bruce but he’d managed a safe landing. “Brother!” 

Loki shrugged with a smile and Bruce tried to zoom in on the kind expression... 

—CUT—-

                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*REC*~

"-Loki?….Loki?….Loki?!”

“What?!” Loki whipped his head around to look at Thor who was sheepishly sitting on the couch. Loki was leaning against the wall closest to the radio.

“Can you turn it up?”

He rolled his eyes and turned the radio up. It was clear that Jane had the camera, considering for some reason she was the only one with steady hands.

'Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now’ faded in and was met with mixed emotion. Quill wasted no time spinning Gamora and initiating the dancing. Carol & Maria wasted no time either, singing along every once in a while.  

“Somebody dance with me! It’s an emergency!” Jane hopped up and handed the camera off to Loki. He whipped the camera around to view Valkyrie being poked over & over by Bruce. Jane grinned and reached out a hand, wiggling her fingers, waiting for the girl to go uncharacteristically shy and accept the offer. It didn’t take long. 

The camera was handed off to Heimdall, as Loki had no interest in recording.

—CUT—-

                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*REC*~

The shot was grainy and fuzzy but clearly Heimdall didn’t care much. He continued to quietly film everyone. They were all in sitting around making conversation, Nat and Clint leaning on each other and occasionally whispering.

Bruce’s head was in Thor's lap as he was waving around and gesturing while he told some childhood story. Bruce’s legs were in Valkyrie’s lap, who was drumming on them while she listened intently on Thor's story.

Loki jumped in every once in a while to add more to Thor’s rambling & occasionally they’d bicker to everyone’s amusement. 

—CUT—-

                                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

~*REC*~

The radio was still going but a little softer. That was until the beginning of a song faded after another.

Thor began to happily (and a bit drunkenly) sing along to the Beatles...

 “Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends...”

It didn’t take much longer for all of the guests to be singing their hearts out and dragging each other into shot. They were all passionately singing the lyrics in no time. Falling on top of each other with the biggest smiles on their faces.

Thor spun Bruce under his arm and made a note to play the song on his next show with Carol. 

—CUT—-

                                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*REC*~

A shot of Thor, and everyone trying to squeeze in behind him on the living room floor. 

the camera fades to black.

—CUT—-

[itshardcandy]

The Ramen-Noodle Incident

Min Yoongi x Reader 

1870 Words

Genre: Fluff, Crack 

Warnings: Friendship, Clumsiness, Swearing, Reader is dumb, Yoongi is equally dumb and also a sweetheart, Hospitals

Summary:  You were meant to spend a chill evening with Hobi at his place when Yoongi kinda burns your plans to the ground.

Preview:

“No one, except us and the reception lady, knows what happened, so keep cooling your skin and let me finish this, ok?”

You pouted but didn’t talk back until he had given the registration form back to the lady and led you to the waiting area to sit. He sighed heavily when his butt met the chair and pulled his beanie off to ruffle his hair, before putting it back on,

“that sounds awfully strained, considering you’re not the one cooling her ramen-burned-boobs right now”

You said, annoyance definitely obvious in your voice,

“Don’t remind me of my ramen… I still haven’t eaten anything”,

You had to bite your lip as to not laugh, he was unbelievable,

"I'm on my way, I'll be there in 20 minutes, ok?"

You sent the quick voice message Hobi's way before you clicked the door shut behind you.   Apparently, he didn't live that far away. You'd never been to his place before, so you didn't know if taking the car was the best idea, but it was certainly the most comfortable. Hopefully parking wouldn’t be a problem, wherever he lived.

Turns out parking wasn't a problem at all, since the building had its own underground lot. You asked Hobi just to be sure it was the right one. It seemed more like a business complex with lots of office space, than a housing unit. He was waiting for you down by the elevator, dangling a set of keys in his hand. He greeted you with a big smile and a quick hug,

"How are you? Did you have any trouble finding the place? Are you hungry?"

Hobi asked and swiped a card against a pad next to the elevator to call it,

"Good, no and not yet"

You answered with a smile and when the elevator announced its arrival and opened its doors Hobi ushered you inside,

"I'm sorry to spring this on you but I've got to quickly take care of something and then I'll be back, ok? This is the key, it's the first door on the left. No one's home, so just get comfortable. I'll get take out on the way back"

He explained and before you could even say 'what the fuck' the doors closed. Well, you thought, at least he's getting you dinner. And then the elevator transported you to Hobi's floor.

_____

After getting the key stuck in the wrong door and profusely apologizing to the people, who live in the apartment and opened the door on you to try and find out who was trying to break into their apartment, you found the right door and let yourself inside. You left your shoes and coat by the entryway and then walked further inside to find a big, open living space and kitchen combination. It wasn't really what you expected, since it was way bigger than the bachelor's place you imagined Hobi living in. You realised it was way bigger, when you explored around the corner and found 3 locked doors and the bathroom down the corridor. Of course, you didn't mean to be rude and snoop around but... He did leave you alone, so... There was even a staircase leading upstairs. How much space does one man really need?  You decided to just take a quick look upstairs and you discovered more locked rooms and another bathroom. Nothing spectacular here. You heard the sound of a door clicking open and shut. Must be Hobi. You climbed down the stairs and rounded the corner to the kitchen and living room only to bump right into Yoongi and the bowl of hot ramen he was carrying,

“Oh sorry!”

You exclaimed and Yoongi stumbled backwards a little, a bit of the soup dribbling over the edge of the bowl and onto his hand,

“Fuck that’s hot!”,

“Let me help y- oh fuck that’s really hot!”,

“Oh no, I’m so sorry”

You tried to help him stabilise the bowl but ended up rocking it again and scalding your own hand in the process. Yoongi tried to pull the bowl away from you, so you wouldn’t hurt yourself again but you didn’t realise it and when he pulled, your hands snapped the bowl back and its contents spilled all over you,

“Shit, shit, shit”

The empty bowl clattered to the floor and Yoongi stared at you with wide eyes,

“Fuck, I’m sorry, YN, are you ok??”

Before you could answer, he pulled you to the sink and let cold water run over your hands and arms,

“Why do I have to be so fucking clumsy…”

You muttered to yourself,

“Don’t say that, it’s not your fault, I was the one with a craving for ramen…”

You chuckled and looked at Yoongi from an awkward angle,

“I ran into you! I should have been more careful…”

He ignored what you said and gently lifted your hands out of the sink to examine the damage. You winced and he pulled his hands away immediately,

“Ok, this looks bad, and it got all over you… we should get someone to look at it, I don’t think cold water is gonna do much more to help”,

“I don’t know, it’s not that bad…”,

“I can literally see you biting your lip and holding back tears, YN, I’ll get you a new shirt and then we’re leaving”

He was already zooming to his room before you could protest. Ok, maybe letting someone have a look at the burns was not a bad idea. They kinda hurt. A lot.

_________

“I thought you meant a normal doctor, not the fucking ER!”

You were agitated when you whispered in Yoongi’s ear, while he filled out some form to get you registered. You had already received some cooling packs after you showed the nice lady at the reception your reddened skin,

“Well, this is the easiest and fastest way to get someone to have a look at you”

He was stating calmly, the sound of his voice muffled by a face mask. He’d given you one, too, after you had changed out of your soiled clothes agonizingly slowly, as to not irritate your skin even more,

“I guess you’re right but I feel so exposed in here, this is super embarrassing…”

You could probably still find some cooked noodles in your hair if you tried hard enough. Yoongi chuckled and looked away from the form in front of him,

“No one, except us and the reception lady, knows what happened, so keep cooling your skin and let me finish this, ok?”

You pouted but didn’t talk back until he had given the registration form back to the lady and led you to the waiting area to sit. He sighed heavily when his butt met the chair and pulled his beanie off to ruffle his hair, before putting it back on,

“that sounds awfully strained, considering you’re not the one cooling her ramen-burned-boobs right now”

You said, annoyance definitely obvious in your voice,

“Don’t remind me of my ramen… I still haven’t eaten anything”,

You had to bite your lip as to not laugh, he was unbelievable,

“Sorry, next time I’ll try and not get scalded by your soup, so you can enjoy it”,

“Ah thank you… but it’s no use… I can feel myself growing weaker… maybe I should register, too, for malnutrition”

He made his voice sound gruff and held a hand to his chest to look more dramatic. You didn’t hold your laughter this time and smacked his arm with the area of your palm, that was not burned,

“You’re unbelievable! Get a snack from the vending machine if you’re hungry”

He snickered next to you, the evil fucker.

You let out a long breath and relaxed as much as possible. With boredom slowly settling over you, you let your gaze travel over the other patients waiting in the area and that’s when you noticed a group of two girls and a boy checking you and Yoongi out. You looked over to Yoongi, who had pulled out his phone held it close to his face, like he wanted to hide behind it. Then you looked back to the group; they couldn’t be older than 16-17, they were still teenagers. Still, how they looked at you and started giggling and whispering made you feel uncomfortable. Sure, it didn’t help that you were wearing a shirt, that didn’t fit you, and some noodles or vegetable pieces showed it your hair but that didn’t mean you appreciated being made fun of. You wiggled in your seat and then got up, deciding to go to the restroom for a break. Yoongi’s head shot up when you stood,

“What are you doing? Do you need something? You know I was just joking about the food, right? I didn’t mean any—”,

“Relax, I was just going to the bathroom”,

“Oh, sorry, don’t mind me, then…”,

“…”,

“…”,

“You want something from the vending machine?”,

“Yes, please, get me those shrimp chips, pleeease”

You rolled your eyes and smiled at his pleading. Sure, you’d get him the chips on the way back.

_________

It didn’t take long for your name to be called after that and the doctor who examined you, didn’t comment on your ramen-accident, although you could see, he desperately wanted to. He put some lotion on your arms and hands and gave you a tube to take home and apply to the rest of the burns and then he discharged you.

Yoongi was waiting for you in front of the main entrance, ready to take you home and probably more ready to prepare a new serving of ramen, not minding that you were now experiencing PTSD-symptoms just thinking about them.

You walked back to the car and after you settled inside and fastened your seat-belt Yoongi spoke up again,

“I just wanted to say, I’m sorry, again”

He was pouting a little and drumming his hands on the steering wheel,

“Don’t worry about it, I burned myself at home more times than I can count”

You tried to laugh it off but he looked a little serious all of a sudden,

“I’ll make it up to you, ok? Give me your number, I’ll send you the money for your clothes, or the cleaner, if they’re salvageable…”

He had pulled his phone out already and you blinked at him in confusion,

“Ah… ok”

You pulled yours out carefully, as well and went to look up your own number when you spotted the missed calls and messages from Hobi,

“Oh shit, I completely forgot to text Hobi and tell him what happened…”

You made an expression that said yikes in Yoongi’s direction and he copied it,

“Better let him know now, I’ll text him while you look for your number”

He said and was engrossed in his texts a second later, so you did as you were told. Quite frankly, you didn’t need him to send you any money, since the shirt had been an old one and your pants were barely even hit by the soup but you figured he felt a little guilty still and so you didn’t object. And also, judging from the things Hobi told you about all his friends, they were loaded and you weren’t, so there was that,

“Ok, he said he’s waiting for us with food”

He probably said a little more than that, knowing Hobi and his dramatic ass,

“Alright, sounds good. I could really use some food now, too…”

Yoongi smiled at you expectantly,

“Not ramen!”

You added with an even bigger smile and he held up his hands in defense,

“Fine, fine, I won’t be coming at you with ramen for a while. Now, gimme your phone”

He snatched the phone out of your hands and typed your number in his before he called yours and saved his number in it,

“Now let’s get back and not keep Hobi waiting”  

[thinking-ji]

Why does TXT’s “We Lost The Summer” MV work?

Hi, I’m back again to overanalyse TXT’s MV for “We Lost The Summer”. After first watching it, I was overwhelmed by sadness but didn’t know why. After all, there have been literally tons of videos and songs about COVID-19. Until 2h ago, perhaps the most heart-wrenching song I’d heard about the topic was FINNEAS’ “What They'll Say About Us". Yet I was more deeply affected by “We Lost The Summer” thanks to its combination of brutal honesty, clever cinematic juxtaposition and images of kids suffering (from first world problems, but problems all the same).

I think what makes the MV work so well are two things:

The song conveys a message of longing for the past, for the "normal". This complements all the contrasting shots of "what is" and "what could have been". It hurts to see kids who could have had a fun summer with their friends out in the warm sun be banished to self-isolation with no one but themselves (or in some cases, a soft toy or a dog) for company.

Their acting. Their facial expressions do tons in expressing the plot, especially in the scenes where they look longingly at the camera. As cheesy as that sounds, their expressions line up perfectly with the almost resentful mood of the song.

Click ‘read more’ for frame-by-frame analysis of what makes the MV work:

0:09-0:15 Taking photos as a group in front of the toilet mirror, probably in school. Bright. Just a normal day in school with ya bros, no problems hugging one another.

0:16 Cut to Yeonjun receiving a Public Safety Alert. He's using an iPhone - this feature was not available until a few months into the COVID-19 outbreak (20 May 2020). Two possibilities - 1) This marks the point at which everything changed i.e. when the pandemic became concerning enough that quarantine was necessary (note the strict warning on screen - "If you leave home, assume you were exposed to COVID-19."); 2) canon-compliant sequence of events - this was in May 2020, when there was also a spike in cases in South Korea (see: Itaewon spike). The former is more likely, considering the lyrics "left alone on the evening of an endless March 1".

0:16-0:17 Back and forth shot - we first see the Public Safety Alert (with a jarring alert ringtone), then the video cuts to the group's concerned reaction, then back to the Public Safety Alert. Almost as if they cannot believe what they're seeing. Note also that the second shot of the Public Safety Alert is clearer than the first - they're paying more attention the second time around.

0:18 Cut to awkward Zoom call (with dog!).

0:19 Intro to main protagonist Yeonjun. Interesting styling choices here - Yeonjun doesn't himself have tattoos; these are fake tattoos. I see this as an effort to represent every kind of young person - it's not only the studious, clean-cut kids who choose to stay home. Now, even the stereotypical bad boys who would usually stay out are forced to stay home as well (that is, if they choose to be socially responsible).

Yeonjun is also putting on a simple singlet here. This is a clear departure from his school uniform. He's chosen to dress comfortably and looks disappointed. Perhaps he feels that nothing matters at this point. This will be a recurring theme throughout the video.

0:24 He gets up to hug his teddy bear, likely a source of comfort. He appears to be alone. Maybe the teddy bear is his only companion when he's at home. A stark contrast to the beginning of the video, when he had a squad of friends to hang out with.

0:26-0:27 Yeonjun starts to dress up for the Zoom call with his friends later. He seems to be in a much better mood with this semblance of normalcy. Or maybe he's just practicing his smile for the camera. His room is bright despite the blinds being drawn; it's the morning.

0:28 We realise that Yeonjun was smiling in the mirror. His expression changes as soon as he looks away. He's not happy about the situation; guess he's just practicing his smile for later.

0:31 The squad's coming online, just waiting for Yeonjun. Everyone is dressed up in bright colours, against their very bright and cheerily-coloured rooms. Juxtaposed with the rather dull school outfits and blue walls at the beginning of the video.

0:33-0:36 For the first time since being at home, he appears to be truly excited. He waves enthusiastically at the squad. Interestingly, his curtains are drawn and the only source of light is a neon green light in the corner of his room. It's unclear what time it is.

0:39 Classic eyes closed, close-up shot of Kai's face. Sadness. Slight increase in exposure near the end of the shot - reminiscence of a time when the surroundings were brighter.

0:41 Flashback to old times in school with the squad. The setting is brightly-lit. We'll see that this changes as the MV progresses.

0:47 Sharing earphones. Ah, the good times.

0:52 Taehyun throws a baseball across the open area. Something you won't get to do inside unless you want to break something.

0:54 Cut to Soobin lying down on the floor of his room (peak relaxing position tbh). He's just dropped his phone on his face. First world problems. Sucks that even little things like this will happen more often now that they're home alone with their phones being their only connection to the outside world.

0:56 Guess Soobin is trying to preoccupy himself by putting together a (big, may I add) puzzle. Seems like he also tried to distract himself with whack-a-mole. But he can't help but watch old videos of him and his friends - this is marked by the school uniforms. Again, reminiscing the old times.

0:58 Closer look at the video Soobin is watching.

1:00 Dude fell asleep with a puzzle piece on his face omg. Clearly bored/frustrated/tired of being stuck at home with puzzles being the most interesting thing he could possibly do alone.

1:01 Yeah, he's not happy about it.

1:03-1:08 Beomgyu is at home with his dog. I can't tell much other than that his dog doesn't hate him, which is a good thing when your dog is your closest companion at home.

1:09-1:12 I can't think of this shot of them syncing the choreo over Zoom being anything other than a cool way to transition to the dance and juxtapose with them performing the choreography together (see: 1:13~1:19).

1:20 Jamming out to the song together.

1:21, 1:24, 1:25, 1:27, 1:28: Yeonjun jamming out alone.

1:31 It's raining/snowing...

1:32 In their hideout in school (remember it's only partially covered). Also note that the colour scheme in the school setting has gotten much duller than before.

1:34 Taehyun catches a baseball. Note that he isn't in his school uniform, so we can assume he is alone here while everyone else is staying in.

1:35, 1:38, The squad escapes the rain.

1:40 Yeonjun admiring his image in the mirror while trying on a different jacket. Compare this and the previous images of him looking into the mirror, with a later shot of him looking into a mirror. Here, we can see both him and his reflection, which gives us the impression that he isn't alone.

1:44 Beomgyu is on the floor hugging his dog. Maybe he's given up lol

1:46 Beomgyu opened the blinds a little to look outside. "Want to see you again."

1:48, 1:50 I'm not sure what Kai was trying to do, but he definitely messed up that smiley face. Seems like an allusion to how everything was fine and dandy, but then this virus just had to come and ruin it for everyone.

1:51 Seems like Taehyun is playing baseball with himself.

1:56, 1:59 Repetitions show that Taehyun is going through the motions. Has nothing better to do.

2:03, 2:07 These shots confused me at first, but "I hate my face drained of expression" clears it up. Communicating online has reduced us to avatars, profile pictures and our digital versions of ourselves. A pretty digital avatar void of human emotion - that's what Soobin has become.

2:13 Beomgyu seems pretty happy creating his personal Jurassic Park...

2:15 But yeah, there could've been better things to do.

2:16 I know Beomgyu is creating an obstacle course for his dog, but his constantly changing environment (e.g. additional bowling pins in this frame) makes it seem like he's trying every possible trick in the book to occupy himself while he's alone.

2:22 Again, the introduction of Beomgyu's dog makes it seem like he's exhausting all his sources of entertainment. I'm not complaining though, it's cute to see him try.

2:25-2:26 The transition to a wide shot showing that Beomgyu's dog is leashed indoors is jarring when you think twice about it. There's no reason to leash his dog when they're indoors, but maybe he's trying to simulate being outside.

2:28 From here onwards is where the structure of the MV changes. Before this, we'd been getting shots of TXT at home interspersed with flashbacks of their time together pre-COVID. But now they're out on a large, empty road on a bright day. They would not be dancing on such a wide road if it weren't empty because no one needs/wants/is allowed to go anywhere. Also note that these are different outfits from previous cuts of them dancing, where they were dressed in their school uniforms.

2:31 Taehyun pastes a sticker of pixel ver. squad on his drone. Perhaps highlighting the fact that the only reminder he has of them while they're separated is their online presence.

2:33 Taehyun is wearing a helmet to fly his drone even though he doesn't really need to. It's not like he's travelling outside or anything. But anything to escape the feeling of being stuck at home, I guess. You do you. Also, the fact that he's flying a drone is symbolic of his wish to travel or at least wander outside. He can't do it in person, so he lets his drone do it for him.

2:33 The squad arrives on the rooftop! Note that Yeonjun is wearing the jacket he tried on the second time - this is still during COVID times. How were they able to get on the rooftop with Taehyun when they were all supposed to be at home? REBELS. Maybe this is all just a dream... unless? Last thing - it's sunset here, which links to...

2:47 It's snowing and dark outside in their usual hideout in school. Note that Yeonjun is wearing the same outfit as in the dancing on the road cuts. Clear juxtaposition between hopes and reality.

2:48 Their bench and things are covered in snow, almost as if the winter has stopped them from doing whatever they were doing before. "Endless winter."

2:53, 2:57 They're taking photos alone. Interesting upside-down shots.

2:55 They're trying to have fun in the winter but for Beomgyu it's just not the same.

3:00 The brightly-lit toilet is juxtaposed with - gasp! - not its reflection. Without his friends, Yeonjun perhaps finds that staring into a mirror alone isi like staring into a dark void, or a duller version of reality.

3:02 Also, it's snowing on the other side. Note that in all the 'winter' shots we've been getting, it's always dark.

3:09 Is Yeonjun trying to check if there's a mirror, or reach into the void?

3:11 We get confirmation that there is a mirror in reality, but to Yeonjun it feels like a void. This image of him telling his reflection that "it's all gone" is honestly heartbreaking.

3:14 The squad is together, but the winter is depressing.

3:20 The most direct reference to COVID in this entire MV. "It's all gone". The masks serve as a tangible representation of the new normal. Their expressions are all gone now ("I hate my face drained of expression") since half their faces are hidden. It no longer matters if they smile or laugh; no one can see it anyway.

3:21-3:25 Direct reference to social distancing.

3:25 The toilet gets progressively darker.

3:36 It's snowing on the road now, almost as if the bleakness of their reality has permeated through to their imagination of a brighter future.

3:39 Interestingly, compared to the past few shots of the boys in the dark winter, they seem to be slightly happier here, getting used to the new normal.

3:40 Butterfly on Beomgyu's face a representation of summer.

3:46 Cut to someone's phone on the bench, the only thing that hasn't been covered in snow, the only bright thing in the darkness. Looks like this is the last video they filmed while they were out on the road dancing.

Overall, it seems that:

bathroom, bright school hideout scenes = the past

road scene = last time they were able to see each other, transition period OR a time between strict quarantine and "new normal" where cases were low enough that people felt comfortable going outside

home scenes = quarantine period

winter scenes = new normal

[mingtiddies]

36. things you said but didn’t mean

member: jihoon

genre: angst, slight fluff? can it be considered fluff? idk

word count: 2764

warnings: it’s kinda sad, like it hurts kind of sad

There was no doubt about it; Jihoon was a workaholic. He never really knew how to stop, except that when he did, he truly knew how to rest. His girlfriend admired how much of himself he put into every song he wrote and composed. It gave those a piece of authenticity that was peculiar to Jihoon’s talent.

After quite some time, she came to realize it wasn’t all that good. Jihoon didn’t usually neglect his health for work, but every once in a while, always nearing a comeback, he would forget to get dinner, and would spend so much time on a song that he would lose track of time and work late into the night until it became day.

Consequently, his girlfriend made it her mission to remind him to eat or go home when a significant amount of time had passed while he worked. One thing she had noticed when her boyfriend lacked sleep was that he would hum his songs more frequently, and most of the times they weren’t songs he was currently working on.

Today was one of those days. As were the three previous days. With their upcoming comeback right around the corner, Jihoon needed to have songs ready for the company to approve of a title track. He had been at it for over twelve hours already; the sun had set and most members had gone home. While the rest hung outside of the studio as to not disturb their genius producer in his creative process.

But it was getting awfully late… Given the ungodly hour at which she knew the boys had to wake up for an early schedule the next day– or rather, today–, she got up from her comfortable seat on the small sofa and strolled up to her boyfriend. “Hoon?” She paused, waiting for an answer and when he hummed, she continued, “You need to go home.”

He kept humming a random song, eyebrows furrowed and nodded at her, without completely paying attention to her. “You can pick up where you left off after your schedule tomorrow,” she added.

He hummed in response again, and went back to jamming to one of his songs. And she let it go for the time being… She walked back to the sofa and sat, watching him furiously type away and arrange melodies on his computer.

After what felt like a blink of an eye, she suddenly realized that she had been dozing off. Checking the time on her phone, it read 12:18am and she sighed at the thought of her boyfriend not moving a single finger from his spot on his chair since they had last talked over half an hour ago. And there he was, still sitting in his chair.

“Jihoon?” she called out, sleepiness still filling her voice. When she got no response from him, she stood up from her seat again and walked up to Jihoon. “Hey, I really think you should go home, it’s late,” she softly said. “You can always come back after your schedules.” Still no answer from him. “You have to rest, Hoon.” She called his name a second time, and a third time.

He slammed his fist on the table, startling her. “Just stop! You’re not my fucking mom! If you wanna go, just go!” he yelled. She froze. She had never heard him raise his voice at anyone like this. There was a clear difference between this, and the annoyed attitude he sometimes had towards people. She stood there for a few seconds, maybe even minutes, she honestly couldn’t tell.

Tears pricked at her eyes, as she felt something inside her break. Maybe she nagged him too much about going home... Suddenly she felt insecure about all those times she had told him to go home and rest, all those times she had imposed herself and brought him meals or forced him out of the studio to go to lunch or dinner. Because now it seemed like she had done just that; impose herself.

The muffled sound of her ringtone sounded in the room. She took a few steps back and turned away from her boyfriend, pulling her cellphone out of her pocket and swiping the answer call button. “Is everything okay?” Seungcheol’s worried voice asked. “Hm? Yeah...” she absentmindedly answered.

But it didn’t convince him very much. He heard the way her voice quavered. “Are you?” She wasn’t... And she wanted out of this place, as fast as possible. “I’ll uh... I’ll be home in a few,” she abruptly announced. On the other side of the line, Seungcheol frowned at what she told him. What was she saying?

Not bothering to take back the jacket and the bag she left sitting on the sofa, she bolted out of the studio, zooming past the few members that had stayed behind. Seungcheol called her name, in vain, and immediately ran after her. He caught her arm, hoping that she would turn around and look at him but she tried her best to not let him see the tears that threatened to stream down her face.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, not really knowing what else to say. “It’s alright, I just need to get home.” She sounded so unconvincing and the sadness in her voice made Seungcheol see red. If there was anything he hated more than seeing his members and his family upset, it was seeing her upset. She was considered family by all of the boys, from the moment she and Jihoon had started seeing each other. And as the leader, Seungcheol took it upon himself to take care of her like he would his fellow members.

He let go of her arm and stormed off in the direction of the studio, gesturing to his friends that he would handle it on his own. He stood there for a few seconds, watching Jihoon work on his computer like nothing had happened. “What just happened?” he asked. “Nothing. She just left,” the boy mumbled, not looking up from his screen. The oldest scoffed. Right.

“Coincidentally after you yelled at her,” he noted, hoping to get a reaction out of his younger friend. Up until now, Jihoon had felt nothing but annoyance nipping at his brain, because of all the distractions that everyone was so set on creating. But upon hearing how Seungcheol enunciated the word yelled, something in him clicked. He had yelled at his girlfriend.

He had yelled at the one person who always made sure that he ate and got enough sleep. The one person who tried to help him balance everything so that he could always finish his work in time, while maintaining a healthy lifestyle. As healthy as he could anyways.

The leader noticed the change of attitude in his friend’s posture, and his eyes shifted to the space on the sofa that was occupied by things that belonged to none of the boys. “God, she left all her stuff here,” he muttered, reaching out to pick everything up. “Fix this, Jihoon,” he ordered. “You find her tomorrow after the shoot and you fix this.”

He walked out without waiting for his answer, and ran past his friends to catch up with Jihoon’s girlfriend, wishing that he wasn’t too late. Thinking about it, he felt stupid for letting her go in the first place. He had been so set on making it known to Jihoon that he had messed up, that he forgot to at least tell one of the boys to walk her home.

As luck would have it, he found her sitting in the stairs leading to the first floor, her face buried in the safety of her folded arms. His heart shattered into more pieces seeing her like this. He cautiously approached her, step by step, and realized that she wasn’t crying. There was nothing in the way that she held herself that indicated that she was crying.

She wanted to. She wanted her tears to spill and to let them stream down her cheeks until her heart settled down. But she held it in. But at the same time, she didn’t want to cry. So she opted for silently wishing she had gone about it in a different way. She was so sure that she had done things right.

She knew how much he hated to be babied and she tried to make it as natural as possible. She thought- hoped, that he wouldn’t feel like she was babying him.

So she sat in the stairs, unable to get home for two reasons. She rolled her eyes at her own stupidity. She left her belongings in Jihoon’s studio, including the keys to her place. And there was no way she was going to go back up there. And home? Home was where Jihoon lived. She shared an apartment with him in the same apartment building where all the boys lived. If she wanted to avoid him, her best bet was to not go home.

“Hey…” She slowly lifted her head to look up at the owner of the familiar voice. “Hey Cheol…” He handed her jacket and her bag, with a small reassuring smile on his lips, “I think you forgot something.” She almost snorted but accepted her personal effects from Seungcheol. She really was stupid.

“Kinda hard to go home without your keys,” he added. The idiocy of it all finally got to her, and she let a soft chuckle past her lips. “I’m probably the one who actually needs rest.” He paused for a second, giving his idea more thought and concluded that it would probably do her some good.

“You wanna grab something to eat? You spent all evening in there,” he said, referring to the studio. She nodded without hesitation. As unhealthy as it was, she tended to eat her emotions and troubles away, even if it was just a small snack. “What about the others?” He reassured her saying that he would text them to go home and to make sure they took the stubborn and hardworking boy with them.

They exited the staircase and headed to one of the nearest convenience stores. He made her wait for him at a table outside of the store and walked inside to buy a few snacks for the both of them. He contemplated getting a few cans of beer, but opted for a sweeter alternative; strawberry milk. Once everything was paid for he carried everything to the small table Jihoon’s girlfriend was sitting at.

She chuckled at the strawberry milk. “You realize that you never get me drinks?” she asked, grabbing the small bottle of milk in her hand. She stuck a tiny straw into it and watched with amusement as Seungcheol was at a loss for words. “It’s okay. I didn’t want alcohol anyways. This is perfect,” she smiled.

He considered his mission accomplished the minute he managed to make her crack a smile. The night went on like this until they finished everything Seungcheol had bought. Maybe it was the scenery change; not being inside an enclosed space. Or maybe it was Seungcheol’s ability to make things feel like they would be okay. But she felt better, save for the slight pang of sorrow she had.

Before she could even move, Seungcheol stood up, cleared the table of all the waste and disposed of it. He beamed at her and told her it was time to go. They walked home in silence, both grateful for the time away from troubles and responsibilities. “Thanks, Cheol,” she said, when they approached their apartment building.

“Don’t mention it. Are you gonna be okay?” he asked. She sighed, “Yeah, I guess. I know he’ll apologize eventually...” He entered the security pin code, the keys’ sound echoing into the silent night. As soon as the doors opened, he ushered her in and walked in after her. “Some of the guys are right down your hall if you need anything.” She nodded in awareness as they neared the elevator.

He was the first to reach his floor; he turned to her and waved. She smiled and waved back. She was so grateful for Seungcheol’s big brother’s antics, despite being the youngest of his family. “Call me if you need anything,” he said. She acquiesced and watched him wave one last time as his frame disappeared behind the elevators’ doors.

As she only lived on the floor above his, it only took under two minutes to reach her floor and walk to her door. She pulled out her keys and inserted the right one in the keyhole. The apartment was deadly quiet, and only the living room’s light seemed to be on. Her first instinct was to check the door that led to Jihoon’s home studio; it was closed but there was no sign that anybody was inside.

Getting him out of the company’s studio was never really an accomplishment until she was sure that he wouldn’t go straight to his studio at home.

She took off her shoes and dropped her belongings on the couch, on her way down the corridor that led to the room she shared with her boyfriend. The lights were off. Was he even home? She pushed the door opened and observed that he was lying on his prefered side of the side, still in his day’s clothes. She sighed. At least he was sleeping now.

She stepped closer to the bed, carefully checking his face for any sign of him being awake. She took in the way that his chest rose and sunk in slow movements, indicating that his breathing had slowed as well. He definitely was sleeping. Face squished on his pillow, lying on top of the comforter, jacket still on him.

She helped him out of his jacket first, trying her best not to wake him. He had a distinctive sleep pattern and he could wake up at any given second, the same way he could sleep through the entire process. Watching him sleep and looking at the way his features were relaxed, she couldn’t imagine him yelling at her again. She pondered how to get him under the comforter, but her train of thoughts was disrupted by a sleepy hum, undeniably coming from her boyfriend.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, voice filled with sleepiness. When she didn’t respond, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers as he moved to sit on the bed. “I’m really sorry. I never want to say hurtful things like that again. I-” he sighed, “I have no excuses. But I really am sorry.”

She kept her gaze on their hands, not daring to look up at him. For some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. Not right now anyway. “You can do all this tomorrow,” she whispered, “You still have to rest.” He light-heartedly chuckled. “I know... I just- I couldn’t let it sit between us. I know that what I said hurt you,” he admitted, lowering his eyes in shame. He looked up at her again, “I had to let you know that I appreciate everything you do. And that... I love you.”

She rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand. It was so unusual for her to hear Jihoon speak this way. But then again they had never fought to that extent. So maybe it was normal after all. He softly tugged on her hand, scouting her reaction when she finally looked him in the eyes. “It did hurt,” she said. Discomfort and remorse tickled his heart. “And I love you too.” The ghost of a smile spread on his lips upon hearing the words.

“But... If it ever gets too much, if what I do becomes too much, please let me know,” she pleaded. He nodded in a swift motion, “I promise.” She pouted and playfully hit his shoulder. “And if you feel like work is making you on edge, take a break. Two minutes, five minutes, a whole nap, I don’t care. But don’t let yourself be stressed out enough to be yelling at people...” she added.

“I’m so sorry,” he apologized again. “I’ll work on it.” She accepted the boy’s words as a promise that he would truly try his best to not let work get the best of him. “Let’s just go to sleep now, okay?” He silently agreed and they both changed into more appropriate clothes to sleep in. He didn’t apologize again, but that night he held her close and held her hand up until morning.

[flemingtech]

BECOMING A KEYBOARD JEDI USING SHORTCUTS(WINDOWS 10)

Dr. Dave Bradley has been given the task of writing the basic input-output system of the IBM personal computer. The year is 1980. In his hands is the most advanced piece of technology. Even with an elite team of engineers and designers, nothing runs smoothly when you are building a computer. Programs crashing during development stage is the norm after every five to ten minutes. The only way to restart the computer is to turn the power off, wait a while and turn the power back on and the computer would go through a very long self-test. An ingenious way for the restart process is urgently needed. 

The first thing that comes to mind is placing a reset button. Its downside is that one can accidentally press the button, and all data gets lost. His team decides to create a three key sequence to reset the computer, which couldn’t be hit by mistake. Their deliberations yielded this solution: a single control key, a single alt key, and all the way to the right-hand side, a single delete key, and the computer would restart. It also enabled them to skip many tests, which would generally take 1-2 minutes, took only 10-15 seconds. It wasn’t a big deal at the time because there was a pile of issues they had to fix. That solution just brought one of the 99 problems off their backs. Other programmers began developing that feature into their application, and thus Ctrl+Alt+Del was released into the wild. The rest is history. When Chrome decides to freeze your computer, hit Ctrl+Alt+Del, and you unlock the terminator mode. The force was finally within us by using the Three Finger Salute.

There is no doubt that keyboard hot-keys make computer usage seamless. Some keyboard shortcuts save one from a quagmire while others are just cool. Windows 10 now supports cool trackpad gestures to make life easy, but they can’t beat the force of keyboard hot-keys. Possessing the force requires knowledge and practice. Some of the useful hot-keys you should be using are:

1. Change Case Keyboard shortcut

You are typing an essay while rushing to meet the deadline when you realize you left the caps lock on the whole time. The only way you can think of to edit this error is to redo. Stress hormones begin to flood your mind. I am here to end that nightmare (knight in shiny armor vibes). In order to edit this error, highlight the affected sentences and press Shift+F3 once to go all caps, again to go to initial caps, and again to go all lowercase.

2. Opening Task Manager

When running many programs simultaneously, your computer may freeze. In order to unfreeze it without having to restart it due to fear of loss of valuable data in other background programs, press Ctrl+Shift+Esc to access the task manager, which will enable you to force quit the unresponsive programs. 

3. Lock Screen

When you have a program(s) running on your computer, and you want to leave the room for a short period and assurance that no one will meddle with your work, press Windows key+L. Your screen will lock and require your security authentication to access it. 

4. Minimizing Windows

Let’s say you are doing something confidential on your computer, and your friend enters your workspace abruptly. The fastest way you can hide what your doing is by pressing Windows Key+D. This minimizes all windows instantly, and he/she will wonder why you are staring on your blank desktop vehemently.

5. Split Screen Between Two Apps

If you want to split the screen between two apps without using your mouse to allocate screen space and snap windows, you can press the Windows Key+Left Arrow key (<) or Right Arrow key (>) and your current window will snap to the left or right smoothly.

6. Creating and Rename Folders

The alternative way of creating a folder is by pressing Shift+Ctrl+N. Renaming a folder traditionally uses two clicks, but an easier way is by selecting the file or folder and press fn+F2.

7. Creating and Switching Between Virtual Desktop

Mac users are more familiar with this functionality. Windows 10 is the first Windows to have this feature. When you press Windows key+Ctrl+D, a new virtual desktop will be opened. If you want to switch across those virtual desktops, press Windows key+Ctrl+Left (<) or Right Arrow key(>). This will enable you to run different programs without the need to crowd one desktop.

8. Paste Without Formatting

When copy things like references from multiple websites, the text may get pasted in a formatted method and will make your document look messy. To maneuver this, copy in the usual method but paste using Ctrl+Shift+B instead of Ctrl+Shift +V.

9. Taking screenshots

It’s one of the easiest hot-keys to remember due to the need for capturing screenshots and snippets. In order to capture the whole screen, press Windows key+Print Screen key. The picture will be saved in Pictures>Screenshots folder. For capturing a part of your screen, hit Windows Key+Shift+S. This will open the Snip & Sketch app, which will allow you to create your screenshot. You will have to paste it and save it manually.

10. Game bar

When you launch a game on Windows 10, a pop up on starting the game bar appears. It recommends you should press Windows key+G. That will enable you to access Xbox tour directly, record live gaming sessions, and broadcast the gameplay on Xbox Live. One can also use it to take screenshots.

11. Zoom Shortcuts

If you want to zoom something on your screen, press Ctrl+Plus key/Minus key to zoom in or out, respectively. To return to the original resolution, press Ctrl+Zero key.

12.  Open Taskbar apps

In order to launch your taskbar apps quickly, press Windows key+1 to open the first app from the left. If you want to open the third app on the taskbar from the left press Windows Key+3 e.t.c. 

13. Opening File Manager

This is an inbuilt shortcut from Windows. Press Windows key+E.

14. Opening Settings App

Press Windows key+I.

Finally, you can create your own Windows shortcut by right-clicking the app or folder in question. In the pop-up, click the Send To option and create a desktop shortcut of the app or folder. Right-click the shortcut on the desktop and head down to properties. In the properties there is a shortcut tab, click on the shortcut key option and press the keyboard shortcut you want. Anyway, have fun with these hot-keys, and the more you practice, the more you are going to get good at them. May the force be with you in your quest to be a keyboard Jedi and keep it fleming.