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ro-is-struggling · 1 year

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For Your Eyes Only || Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: The three times you and Spencer managed to keep your relationship a secret and the one time you got caught.

Warnings: Garcia!Reader (but the reader's race/ethnicity is not specified, she could be adopted idk), mutual pining, love confessions, reader being a little insecure at one point, suggestive tones, implied smut, possible 14x01 spoilers, canon typical violence, angst with happy ending, fluff

English is not my first language

Word count: 11700 (I'm not even sorry)

Notes: This is based on a dream I had after binging the show so I’m sorry if it’s weird lol

Things between you and Spencer had always been complicated. You first met when you were young and inexperienced when you ended up crashing at your sister Penelope's place after losing your job and apartment all in the same week. She had offered to help you until you could get back on your feet, inviting you to live with her so you could save some money to move into a better apartment. And living with her also meant living with her second family, the BAU, so just a week after you moved in, Penelope organized a get-together with all her friends and co-workers so you could get to know each other.

Spencer stood out to you from the very beginning. He was shy and awkward and too young to be part of the team. You were a little intimidated by him at first. Despite his calm demeanor, he had an intense gaze that sent tingles down your spine every time his eyes fell on you. You felt a little self-conscious under his watchful eyes, feeling as if he was studying you. You knew he was not only a profiler, but also a genius with more than one college degree. There was no way you couldn't feel awkward under his gaze.

That was until he opened his mouth, rambling excitedly about some random piece of information that he seemed to know a lot about, but that no one seemed to want to hear about. No one except you. You found his enthusiasm adorable and his voice soothing. He was a fascinating person who immediately piqued your desire to get to know him better. So that's exactly what you did.

It was clear from the first moment that you shared a special spark. Within minutes of meeting you were already off in your own little bubble, chatting as if you had known each other all your lives. Spencer had never felt so comfortable with a complete stranger before, although he supposed it made sense given that you were Penelope's sister. The apple doesn't fall that far from the tree and all. You became friends in record time and fell in love even faster. But, as mentioned before, you were both too young and inexperienced to do anything about it. You didn't quite know how to deal with the feelings you were experiencing, so you did nothing.

You were always afraid that things wouldn't work out well between you, that somehow Spencer would get bored of you and leave you. You didn't want things to be awkward for your sister, you knew that if you two broke up she would feel the need to choose sides and you couldn't let her get into a fight with her friend and coworker because of you. And Spencer... Well, he had almost no experience in love or dating. It had taken him longer than he wanted to admit to even understand his feelings for you and once he did he didn't know what to do about it, so he did nothing. And when you finally went out to live your life on your own, he watched you walk away, burying his love for you in a box with a thousand locks, hidden deep in his heart so he could forget you. But he never forgot you and you never forgot him.

Timing was never right with you. You were perfect for each other, but there was always something that got in the way, as if fate itself didn't want to see you together. Even though your feelings for Spencer never died, you had given up hope that anything would ever happen between you. Apparently it wasn't in the cards for you to be together and you accepted it, settling for living with the what-ifs as your only consolation. At least that was until a new opportunity presented itself in front of you at Penelope's 41st birthday party. An opportunity you were not willing to pass up.

You were once again crashing on your sister's couch that year, only this time it was until you found an apartment in the city near her. Penelope's job was risky and in the last few years she had been targeted by psychopathic killers on several occasions. You hated the idea of her living alone and since you were now in a financial position to choose where to live, you decided to move close to her so that you could come to her aid in case of an emergency. You had to admit that your timing wasn't great since she was in the middle of planning her birthday party, so you postponed your apartment search until after the event, concentrating all your energy on helping her first. Luckily David Rossi offered to host the celebration at his mansion so you didn't have to make any more mess inside Penelope's apartment which was already a mess because of you. And planning such an event was always much easier when it wasn't your house that was going to be turned upside down.

Spencer was in his mandatory retirement when you arrived, concentrating on his new found love of teaching. For that reason, Penelope hadn't had a chance to talk much with the boy wonder so when he showed up at Rossi's house for the celebration and saw you there he was greatly surprised.

You were laughing with Penelope and Emily and didn't notice his presence until you heard JJ call his name. When you looked up your eyes met his, those beautiful hazel eyes that you still saw in your dreams. It felt as if time stood still for a moment, the world around you disappearing as you became lost in each other's gaze. Memories of moments shared with Spencer came back to your mind in flashes, once again awakening those feelings you thought you had buried deep in your heart.

Spencer looked different, that was the first thing you noticed. He had changed, not only physically but also emotionally. He looked more serious than you remembered and seemed to have matured quite a bit. You didn't expect anything different knowing everything he had been through lately, the change was only natural. However, when he smiled you recognized the Spencer you loved so much. His essence was still there, a part of his innocence and charm still shone in his eyes. That made you smile, you were glad to know that despite everything he was okay.

Penelope was the one who snapped you out of your trance, giving you a subtle nudge in the ribs to bring you back to reality. She knew about your feelings for Spencer, you had never told her, but you didn't need to for her to figure it out. You guys were actually pretty bad at hiding your feelings, which is why she couldn't believe how you still weren't dating. God knows she hadn't stopped trying to push you in the right direction at every opportunity —Penelope loved to play cupid—, but so far nothing had ever worked.

Even though your sister successfully brought you back to reality, you were not able to give Spencer even a few words of welcome. You were still too overwhelmed by his presence, so you preferred to play it safe until you found the right words to express yourself. In the end you didn't get a chance to have a proper talk until late in the evening once everyone present began to show signs that they had had a few too many drinks. You went out into the garden to get some fresh air, getting away from the laughter for a moment to clear your head. Spencer followed you out and before you knew it you were engaged in a casual chat, catching up on things with a level of comfort that was unbelievable considering the level of tension that could be felt in the air when you were together.

It was always easy to be around Spencer. Despite all the pent up feelings between you, you were able to maintain a good friendship. You didn't see each other very often, but whenever you met again it was as if you had never been apart in the first place. That's how strong your connection was.

"I missed this," you admitted after a few seconds of silence, your gaze fixed on the horizon, lost in thought. "I missed our talks."

"Me too," Spencer nodded, admiring your profile as if he were trying to memorize every little detail of your face. "I missed you." His voice sounded more muffled that time, heavy with the sadness accumulated after years of your absence. The mood in the air changed completely from casual and funny to sad and serious, letting you know that the time for explanations and excuses had come.

"Why did you leave?" It broke your heart to hear the way his voice cracked as he spoke. You knew about his fear of change and his abandonment issues, he had opened up to you about it a long time ago. You left to take that job three states away knowing full well how much your leaving was going to affect him and now you were regretting it. It wasn't as if it hadn't hurt you too, but at the time you thought walking away was the best option for both of you.

"I..." You didn't know what to answer. You had a long list of made up excuses you'd thought of over the years, but when you looked up to face him you didn't have the heart to lie to him. Spencer wasn't stupid, he could tell when you were lying, so what was the point? He deserved to know the truth. You deserved the truth. "I got scared and I ran away, just like I always do." You muttered, ashamed of your past actions.

"Scared of what?" Spencer frowned at you, confused by your words. You didn't respond verbally, you just looked at him and that was enough for him to understand what you meant. He could see it in your eyes, the fear, the insecurity. He couldn't believe how he hadn't noticed it before. Suddenly it all seemed so obvious to him that he wanted to yell at his past self for not doing something sooner.

"What we had... I-I never felt anything like that before and it scared me." You finally confessed after so long, keeping your eyes on the floor since you couldn't bring yourself to look Spencer in the face. It felt good to finally tell the truth, even though you felt a little exposed and vulnerable under his intense gaze. But it was worth it if it would finally bring closure to your story.

"I wish you would have told me." This time it was your turn to look at him with confusion. "I liked you too."

You froze in place, Spencer's voice echoing in your head as you tried to process the situation.

He loved you too.

All this time you had spent wondering how things would have been if you hadn't been such a coward when you actually could have found out if you had just opened your mouth at the right time. Spencer loved you too and you had done nothing but waste time.

But then the cynical voice in your head asked the question you were so afraid of. Why did he love you? There was definitely nothing extraordinary about you, you were the most common and boring person that existed on the planet and he... he was the perfect man. He was sweet and sensitive, effortlessly beautiful and as if that wasn't enough he was also a literal genius. You couldn't understand how someone like Spencer could find someone like you interesting or worthy of his love. Being friends was one thing, but being a couple was a world apart. You were convinced that you were not compatible, despite all the love you had for each other. There was no way a genius like Spencer wasn't going to get bored of you in a matter of weeks. It just didn't make sense.

You opened your mouth to say something, but before you could react to this new revelation, you were interrupted by your sister's voice announcing that they were about to cut the cake. You didn't even get a chance to look at Spencer before Penelope dragged you back inside, too tipsy to realize she was interrupting a very important moment.

You had to put on a smile as everyone sang happy birthday to Penelope, feigning happiness when you felt anything but that. Confusion was the predominant emotion, but you also felt regret and a crushing emptiness in your chest that made it hard to breathe. You wanted to be there for your sister, but your mind couldn't stop replaying Spencer's words, having trouble processing the situation.

You couldn't believe that all this time he had reciprocated your feelings. All the time you had spent mourning for what couldn't be, all the tears you had shed for him, it had all been wasted. You felt like a fool, though you couldn't deny that sabotaging your own happiness out of fear or insecurities was something you did more than you'd like to admit. It was hardwired into your brain, an automatic response that you could almost never stop. And now it was once again too late to do anything about it.

Spencer looked happy as he laughed with his friends, unaffected by the revelations that had just come up in your talk minutes before. It confused you a little, wondering how he was able to go on as if nothing had happened after hearing your confession. But then you noticed a detail that tightened the lump that had formed in your throat.

'I liked you too.'

He had spoken in the past tense. He loved you, implying that he no longer did. Spencer had moved on from his feelings for you, putting an end to your story. And the worst part was that you had no one to blame but yourself. You were the one who had pushed him away, the one who had run away from your feelings instead of facing them and now you were paying the price.

Your mind was lost in horrible thoughts, imagining how many women had occupied that special place in his heart since you left. That special place you so longed to occupy, that place that should have been yours... that was yours without you knowing it. You wondered who had dethroned you, who had been able to erase you from his heart to take that place.

Imagining Spencer in the arms of another woman made you feel sick. You knew he could date anyone he wanted —you'd had your fair share of failed relationships yourself over the years—, but for some reason this was the first time it felt real. You hated to think that another woman had come to occupy that special space in his heart, that she knew what it felt like to kiss him or wake up next to him. The thought of Spencer feeling safe and at home in the arms of someone who wasn't you crushed you. You knew you had no right to feel that way, but you couldn't help but feel jealous that someone else had the chance to experience what you fantasized about every night before bed.

Suddenly the room began to feel small, the walls closing in on you as the laughter around you grew louder and louder. You needed to get out of there, to get away from all the noise so you could calm your mind overwhelmed by the swirl of emotions that weighed you down. So you took advantage of Penelope complaining about the lack of ice to escape from there, jumping up from your seat as you offered to get more.

The kitchen sheltered you from the noise of the party, giving you the peace and quiet you needed to try to work out your problems. You took a moment to take a deep breath, repeating to yourself over and over that everything was fine. It was a big lie, but you were more than willing to fake it til you made it. You poured yourself a glass of water and drank it in one gulp, hoping it would help loosen the lump in your throat.

'Keep it together, this is Penelope's night!' the voice of reason echoed in your head, trying hard to keep your emotions in check. You knew she was right, even though you were pretty sure your sister was too drunk at this point to notice the change in your mood, that didn't mean you had a free pass to ruin the party. You had to find a way to put aside what you were feeling for her.

"Is everything alright?" Spencer's voice startled you and you almost dropped the glass you were holding. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. It's just thought that you were taking too long and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Oh yeah, sorry. I needed a moment away from all the noise." You forced a smile in an attempt to let him know you were okay, but the smile didn't reflect in your eyes. You could barely hold eye contact with him as you spoke, which made him think you were hiding something from him.

"I guess they are pretty loud, huh." He walked over to you, leaning back against the edge of the island in the middle of the kitchen. You tensed as you felt his closeness, feeling the warmth of his body against your side as the scent of his cologne assaulted your nostrils. It was as if he was doing it on purpose, as if he knew the effect he had on you and was using it to torture you. But when you looked up at him you were met with his usual innocent expression, with big eyes looking at you curiously as if he was studying you.

"Yeah and it's been a while since I've been around them, I have to get used to the chaos again." You lied, lowering your gaze. You could no longer stand the intensity of his hazel orbs staring at you as if he could read your thoughts. You knew that was impossible, but what he could certainly do —and very well— was read your behavior. You were sure you were being very obvious and it was only a matter of time before he realized what was really going on with you.

"What's on your mind?" Spencer spoke in a soft tone, breaking the silence that had formed in the room. You bit your tongue, debating whether you should answer his question honestly or not. You wanted to lie, but you knew it was pointless. He would know you were lying, if he didn't already.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about us... about how strange life can be sometimes." You let out a bitter laugh, thinking about how different things might be if only you had done just one thing differently years ago. "D-do you think things between us would have worked?" Your voice was small and unsure, looking up at him hesitantly. You weren't sure if you were ready to hear his answer, but you couldn't contain your curiosity.

Spencer looked at you, studying your face for what felt like an eternity. You felt small under his gaze, but you maintained eye contact this time. You needed to know the truth, to read in his eyes the sincerity of his words. Only then would your brain know peace.

"I don't know," he finally murmured. "I guess we'll never know."

Spencer's eyes did not leave yours, nor did yours leave his. You felt him moving closer to you, the warmth of his body enveloping you as he tilted his face toward you. You copied his actions without even realizing it, desperate to feel closer to him. It was as if you were in a trance, lost in the beautiful hazel color of his eyes.

"Yeah, I guess we won't," you said absently, letting the scent of Spencer's cologne flood your system and wash away what little reason you had left. Your eyes traveled to his lips, reflecting the thoughts that occupied your mind. There was nothing you wanted more at that moment than to close the distance that separated you and join your lips in a kiss. You were desperate to know what it would feel like to kiss him, you had been dreaming about it for years. But you knew it wasn't appropriate, so you used your last bit of strength to hold back.

When you looked back into Spencer's eyes you noticed that something had changed in them. He was looking at you in a different way, with a sparkle you had never noticed in his eyes before. It was... desire. He wanted you as much as you wanted him. He wanted to kiss you too, but he was holding back just like you. You were once again dancing around each other, hiding what you truly felt, waiting for the other to make the first move. You were tired of it and you weren't going to make the same mistake again.

So you leaned into Spencer, letting him know that you wanted this as much as he did. Time seemed to slow down, making you feel like you were moving in slow motion as you drew closer to shorten the small distance that separated you. The tension in the air was strong, almost unbearable, as you lost yourself in Spencer's eyes, anxiously waiting to feel his lips on yours.

Your heart raced as you felt his warm breath mingling with yours, the tips of your noses brushing and awakening a wave of electricity that coursed through your entire body. You shared one last glance before letting yourself be carried away by the moment, joining your lips in a long awaited kiss.

It was shy and experimental, a simple brush of lips that did nothing more than leave you wanting more. Spencer caught your upper lip between his, caressing it with a tenderness that made your knees weak. It wasn't a full kiss, but it was still better than all your fantasies because this one was real.

You broke apart almost immediately, opening your eyes once again to study each other's expression. Neither of you needed to speak to know what the other was thinking, it was enough to see the glint of happiness shining in your eyes to confirm that you both felt the same. So without wasting another second you brought your lips together once again, only this time in a more confident and passionate kiss.

You let his lips guide yours, allowing yourself to get lost in the euphoria of the moment. Spencer's hand cupped your cheek, holding your face against his gently to deepen the kiss. His fingertips sparked a warm tingle on your skin and you leaned into his touch, clinging to his lips as you tried to keep up with him. Your lips closed over his lower lip, your tongue caressing it gently asking his permission. He granted it and you didn't waste a second exploring his mouth. He tasted like cake, the sweet blend of chocolate and cream still present on his tongue.

You didn't want the moment to end. You didn't want to separate yourself from Spencer's lips ever again. You had fantasized about this moment for so long and wanted it to last forever, but unfortunately for you that wasn't possible. You were in the middle of a party and it was already taking too long to get back to the others. If you didn't pull apart now someone was going to find you like this and you didn't want to face the awkward moment, so you reluctantly broke away from Spencer.

"That was..." he trailed off as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Late." You finished the sentence for him, letting out a chuckle. That kiss was long overdue and you couldn't believe it had taken you so long to get to this moment. "We should get back to the party." You said, making no effort to pull away from him. You were still so close to each other that your noses brushed and your breaths mingled in the air. And that's how you wanted to stay for the rest of the night, even though you knew you couldn't.

"Yes, we should." Spencer nodded, but instead of pulling away from you, he shortened the small distance that separated you even more, bringing your lips together in a quick kiss. You reciprocated immediately, allowing yourself to get lost in him once again.

"I mean it!" You exclaimed, parting from his lips for a second before being drawn into them once more.

"Me too!" Spencer murmured against your mouth, making you giggle into the kiss.

You allowed him to distract you with his kisses for a little while longer, taking advantage of the privacy the kitchen provided to explore a little more of whatever it was that you two had. That room was your little refuge, your little bubble in which there was only you and the tension in the air that had followed you all these years. It was your safe place, one where you didn't have to explain what you felt in front of anyone. You only had to look into each other's eyes to understand what you were feeling. Going through the kitchen doors meant facing the real world and that only made everything more complicated.

"I don't want to stop." You confessed finally, leaning your forehead against Spencer's as you looked into his eyes.

"Me neither."

"Maybe... maybe we should try this out, see where it takes us." You didn't know why you were nervous to speak, you could see in Spencer's eyes that he wanted the same thing you did. You supposed it was because you weren't used to expressing your feelings in clear, concrete words. You hated feeling vulnerable even though you knew you were safe with Spencer. "I want to give us a chance, if you want that too, of course."

"I do! That's all I ever wanted." Spencer gave you one of his big, adorable smiles of his, the kind that made his eyes crinkle and radiated nothing but happiness and positive vibes. It warmed your heart every time he smiled at you like that, genuine joy written all over your face. It was hard not to return the gesture, his smile was so contagious.

You shared one more kiss, the perfect seal of your deal. Even though you were running out of time, you took a moment to enjoy it, trying to memorize every detail, every sensation, for the future. Spencer took your face in his hands, pulling you closer to him and tilting your head so he could deepen the kiss, making the most of every second you had together.

It left you completely breathless and a little stupid to be honest. So much so that you almost forgot you had gone there to get ice in the first place. He had to remind you before you left the kitchen empty handed, feeling secretly proud of his skills.

"Wait!" you called out to him before Spencer disappeared behind the kitchen door. He turned to look at you with a raised eyebrow, wondering if there was something he had forgotten.

"What is it?"

"We should keep this between us, for now at least."

"Oh." He mumbled and didn't need to say anything else for you to realize he was disappointed.

"It's not that I don't want to tell people," you rushed to say, taking a few steps towards him. "It's just that... you know how annoying Penelope can get with stuff like this. I want to explore our relationship without having her asking me about it all the time." You tried to explain, hoping he understood where you were coming from.

There was nothing you wanted more than to go out there and shout how happy you were about all this, but your sister couldn't find out about anything yet. She had bugged you to go out with Spencer from the very beginning so you could only imagine how annoying she was going to be when she found out her wishes had been granted. You knew she meant well, but she could get a little intense at times and you'd rather have the freedom to explore your relationship with Spencer without feeling pressure from your sister every second. Besides, if things between you two didn't work out the way you hoped, you didn't want things between her and Spencer to get weird at work. You needed time to process your feelings so you'd be ready to deal with the intensity of your sister's love when she learns the truth.

"I promise it won't be for long, just until we make sure we... work together, you know."

Luckily for you Spencer was not angry with you. On the contrary, he agreed with you when you brought up Penelope's attitude to these issues. He wasn't one to share much about his private life anyway, so he didn't find anything unusual about keeping your relationship a secret for a while. He liked the idea of having you all to himself behind everyone else's back. It was as if you had your own separate world, your own little piece of paradise on earth. And that was exactly what he needed at this point in his life, a haven where he felt safe at all times.

So you shared one last kiss before emerging from your little bubble to face the real world, struggling to hide your happiness from a room full of profilers. It was not an easy task, but for that night you had alcohol on your side to help you.

Spencer knew from the beginning that keeping his relationship with you hidden from the team was going to be difficult. They were not only excellent profilers, but also his best friends and knew him too well to notice when he was hiding something. He liked to think that he was relatively good at lying since it was a tool he used from time to time in his work. However, lying to a suspect or an unsub was not the same as lying to his friends. He expected suspicion and curious looks from his teammates at some point in the near future, though he had to admit he was surprised at how quickly JJ seemed to realize something was up.

It was late at night and the team was stuck in the office finishing up paperwork. Spencer couldn't wait to get out of there to be with you. Tonight was date night and even though you didn't have anything too fancy planned —just dinner at Spencer's apartment, you had learned the hard way that it was best to play it safe with his crazy work schedule—, but still, he couldn't stop counting down the minutes until he could see you. Things between you were going great and he felt on cloud nine every time you kissed him or held his hand. He couldn't believe that after so long of dancing around each other things had worked out and now he wanted to spend every spare second of his day by your side to make up for lost time.

As soon as Emily allowed them to go home, Spencer was quick to pack up his belongings. He wanted to be the first one through the glass doors, to disappear before any of his colleagues could delay him any further. However, he wasn't quick enough since JJ managed to intercept him before he reached the elevator.

"I've been meaning to ask.... Is everything alright with you?" she asked him, lowering her voice so the few agents passing by wouldn't hear them.

"Yes." Spencer hesitated to answer, sounding more like a question than a statement. "Why would there be anything wrong?"

"I don't know, you tell me." JJ folded her arms, waiting for an answer. When she got nothing more than a confused look from Spencer, she added, "You've been acting weird lately, like you're hiding something. You got a new phone! And you're always the first to walk out the door." JJ sounded genuinely worried about him and Spencer immediately felt bad about having to lie to her. Although he knew she would understand.

"Whatever it is that's going on you know you can talk to me, right?"

"Nothing is going on, I'm fine!" He tried to convince her friend, speaking in a calm and slow voice in an attempt to reassure her.

"Spence, do I have to worry?" JJ insisted, remembering what had happened the last time he had kept something from her.

Spencer could read the genuine concern in her expression and hear it in her voice as she spoke, so he tried his best to give her an answer that made sense but at the same time didn't give away his little secret. "There's nothing to worry about." He affirmed, giving her friend a warm smile. He appreciated that she cared so much about him, but this time it wasn't necessary. "I got the new phone so I could stay in contact with my students when I'm teaching. Apparently accessibility is a big part of the teacher/student relationship now days and I need to pay more attention to my emails."

That wasn't a lie in its entirety. The truth was that he had bought a newer phone so he could keep in touch with you. He didn't want to at first, but you managed to convince him that more modern technology would make it easier to keep your long distance relationship afloat when he traveled away for work, but it would also help you keep things hidden. Spencer knew that if you wanted your relationship to move forward you had to spend time together as a couple to actually know if you worked well together. And after having to cancel your first date three times because of a case, Spencer decided that maybe it was a good time to upgrade a little. The benefit of being able to communicate better with his students when he taught was an added bonus that had played almost no part in his decision.

JJ looked at him with narrowed eyes, trying to search his expression for something to tell her if he was lying to her. She still felt he was hiding something, but when he smiled at her she saw pure happiness in his eyes. Then she realized that maybe there was a good reason behind his secrecy. "So I don't have to worry then?" Spencer shook his head and she smiled. "Good."

They walked together to the elevator, changing the topic of the conversation to something more trivial as the metal box transported them to the exit. As they parted ways, Spencer pulled his phone out of his pocket and hurried to let you know he was running late, but he was on his way. You responded with a picture of his apartment door, letting him know that you had arrived at his place. He then gave you permission to use the emergency key under the welcome mat so you wouldn't have to wait for him in the hallway. After all, it wasn't the first time you went to his apartment and it definitely wouldn't be the last.

Opening his front door and finding you there with the takeout food ready to eat gave him a sense of joy he hadn't experienced before. The worries of his job, the gruesome crime scene photos and the wicked look of the unsub they had caught, all vanished from his system the moment you greeted him with a smile, telling him how much you had missed him. You were in your own little world when you got together, one that had no room for the stresses of work or everyday life. There was only peace, happiness and love. Suddenly the outside world ceased to exist, it was just him and you exploring the feelings you had hidden for so long. It was incredibly liberating in a way and made it all worthwhile. He could get used to that feeling.

Spencer wasn't the only one who had trouble keeping your secret hidden. You might not work with excellent profilers, but you lived with Penelope Garcia herself, which was almost the same thing. You thought that maybe the fact that your sister had such a demanding job or that Spencer traveled from state to state on a regular basis would play in your favor —you had no big plans to hide from anyone and Penelope was hardly ever home to pick up on anything anyway—, but you were wrong. Penelope didn't need more than a quick glance in your direction to raise an eyebrow accusingly.

"You're seeing things." You tried to defend yourself when she confronted you about it. "I think you need to take some time off, the stress is getting to you."

"Oh no, you can't lie to me. There's something going on with you, I can sense it." She insisted, chasing you into the living room and standing in front of the TV so you couldn't avoid her gaze.

"You can sense it?" you repeated in fake disbelief. You were sure she could, she knew you too well not to realize you were hiding something from her.

"Yes! You're glowing, you have this, this... happiness aura you didn't have before. What's going on?"

You rolled your eyes, though you had to bite your tongue to keep from smiling. You did feel like you were glowing and, although it was inconvenient, it was nice to know that others could notice it too. It was the happiest you had been in a long time and it was all thanks to Spencer's company.

"Nothing is going on, Penelope." You tried to convince her. "I promise."

She looked at you for a moment, squinting her eyes as if deciding whether it was a good idea to believe you or not. Finally she said, "You would tell me if there was something going on with you, right? You wouldn't keep it from me, would you?"

"Of course not! I promise you that when something good happens to me, you'll be the first to know." You felt terrible as soon as the words came out of your mouth. You didn't like lying to your sister, but it was for the best. Your relationship with Spencer was too new to be announced to others, you wanted to be able to enjoy a little more of the privacy and intimacy you were able to have by keeping everything a secret. Penelope would learn the truth eventually, but for now you wanted to keep things as they were. You were sure she would understand.

Penelope didn't say anything, she just sat down next to you and turned up the volume on the TV to watch whatever you had on together with you. You thought you were in the clear, that you had effectively eased her curiosity with your promise, but then your phone vibrated. The screen lit up with a new notification, drawing two pairs of eyes to the device resting on the coffee table. You reached out to grab it, immediately recognizing the contact who was texting you, but Penelope was quicker.

"Who is... 'S plus heart emoji' and why are they asking you if you can go over to their place?" She looked at you with an accusatory raised eyebrow and you almost let out a growl of frustration. How could she be so lucky? You and Spencer hardly ever texted, you always talked on the phone, and the one time he texted you she was there to read it. Fate hated you.

"That's... Sophie, my friend from work." You lied, hoping you sounded convincing enough so Penelope wouldn't ask too many questions. "She's going through a tough break up and I'm helping her whenever I can. Her ex boyfriend is an ass and I told her that whenever she felt bad and had the urge to talk to him she should call me instead."

Penelope couldn't argue much against that, leaving you alone the moment you mentioned broken hearts. Once again you felt guilty about lying to her, but all your worries disappeared when you set foot in Spencer's apartment. The smell of wood and old books hit you as soon as he opened the door, making you feel at home. It wasn't the first time you were there, since you were still living with Penelope most of your secret meetings had to be at his home to avoid being discovered. You were already more than familiar with the place and the beautiful scent that you could identify as the very essence of Spencer. It was your favorite smell in the world since it reminded you of him.

"I don't think she's onto us, but she definitely knows something’s up." You told Spencer as you snuggled on his couch. You didn't have any plans in mind, you just wanted to feel each other's warmth close by, taking advantage of Spencer's day off to relax together like a real couple. You had your head resting on his chest, listening to the soft beating of his heart as he wrapped his arms around you, his nose hidden in your hair, inhaling the floral scent of your shampoo. It was his favorite scent in the world, associated with happiness and love since he recognized it as your very essence.

"Would that be so bad?" he blurted out without thinking before speaking, letting his heart take over his lips. "Getting caught, I mean. Would it be so bad if the others knew about us?" It was a question that had been bouncing around in his head for a while now. When you had sat down to talk through the implications of your arrangement, you decided it was best to keep things under wraps until you found out if you worked as well as a couple as you did as friends. The point was to keep things from getting weird with the rest of the team —especially Penelope— if things between you two didn't work out. Spencer thought it was a good idea and agreed to wait to announce your relationship to the others. But now that some time had passed since that day, he couldn't help but wonder how much longer you'd keep hiding it.

It wasn't that he didn't like it, he loved your secret dates and sneaky texts. Your relationship had become a kind of refuge, a sanctuary where he could go to escape the outside world. Yet he couldn't help but wonder if maybe the reason you wanted to keep things secret was that you weren't sure how you felt about him. Spencer was ready to let the world know he loved you and thought you felt the same way, but lately he wasn't so sure.

"I mean, w-we were supposed to do this until we figured out if we worked as a couple, right? I-I d-don't know about you, but I think this works, right?" Spencer added, stumbling over his words because of nerves. He didn't want to sound like he was pressuring you, far from it, he was willing to wait as long as he had to for you, but he needed some kind of confirmation that you felt the same way he did in order to ease his anxious mind. "I'm not trying to pressure you or anything, we don't have to tell people if you're not ready... I just-"

"Spence," you interrupted his ramblings, lifting your head from his chest so you could look him in the eye. He looked terrified in the most adorable way possible, looking at you with wide eyes as he waited for a response. "It works." You stated with a smile and felt him relax beneath you. "We work great together. That's not why I want to keep us a secret anymore."

"Then what is it?" You let out a sigh as you tried to find the right words to express what you felt. It wasn't that you didn't want to tell the world how happy you were with Spencer by your side, god knew that keeping your mouth shut was a challenge that was getting harder every day. But you knew that the moment you did, you would lose the special kind of intimacy you had now that no one knew about you. You knew that the moment you made your relationship public you would have Penelope bugging you with her questions, wanting to know every detail after pushing you to date him since day one. And you knew the other members of the group wouldn't be far behind. You and Spencer were like the babies in the family that was the BAU so it was inevitable to have them hovering over your shoulders looking over your shoulder with every step you took.

"I just... I know the second we tell people they're gonna be all over our business and I hate that. I love what we have and after all the time it took us to get here, I just want to enjoy this a little more, have you all to myself." Your answer seemed to be enough to erase the doubt in Spencer's eyes. He smiled at you in relief and you reached up to kiss him.

The lingering doubts in his mind vanished as he felt the way your lips moved over his, your tongue caressing him in that slow, sensual way that drove him crazy. He let your kisses soothe him, losing himself in you and in the warm sensation that your closeness always aroused inside him. You worked your magic on him, replacing every negative thought in his mind with love and comfort just with the touch of your lips on his. It was amazing how quickly you could invade his mind, making him forget the world around him in a matter of seconds. It was an ability that only you possessed and it showed how madly in love with you he really was.

“Besides, you can't deny that keeping it a secret makes things more... interesting.” You whispered against his lips as you pulled away in need of air. There was a mischievous sparkle in your eyes that revealed exactly where your mind was going and he couldn't help but blush. Flashes of the nights you had shared together appeared in his mind, the sound of your agitated voice pronouncing his name like a mantra as you came undone under his touch replaying in his ears.

"Those late night calls while your colleagues are only a few feet away, sleeping on the jet or separated only by the thin walls of a motel room." You teased him, your voice low and sultry as you settled into his lap. The atmosphere in the room changed quickly, the tension heavy in the air as you playfully teased Spencer, scattering kisses up and down his neck. You could feel him tensing beneath you, his hands flying to your hips, clinging to your skin in warning.

"Those pictures that I sent you while you were still at work," you purred in his ear, grinding your hips against his. Spencer closed his eyes, letting out a long gasp as he remembered the episode you referred to. Nothing could have prepared him for those messages, seeing you lying on your sheets wearing only one of his unbuttoned shirts and a red lace bra was too much for his poor heart. He had been lucky that his colleagues were distracted, otherwise he would not have been able to hide the clear reaction of surprise and desire that your messages had awakened in him.

"I thought we were just going to hang out today." Spencer said, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. He tightened his grip on your waist, guiding your slow movements and pressing you against his growing erection.

"I got bored." You pouted. "I wanna play."

Spencer couldn't resist your charms even if he wanted to.

You didn't realize that agreeing to go to a bar with the BAU team was a mistake until it was too late. When Penelope invited you, you thought it would be a good idea to get out of the house for a while and it would give you a good excuse to be close to Spencer. You were prepared for the tension and having to hold the urge to kiss him in front of everyone, at this point it was part of your routine. What you weren't prepared for was how many women seemed to find your boyfriend attractive.

You couldn't blame them though, Spencer looked especially sexy in that black suit with his hair slightly messed up. The knot of his tie was loose and his shirt sleeves were rolled up, exposing the skin of his forearm. Your eyes got lost following the path of his veins, remembering the way they stood out more clearly every time his hand closed around your neck or your hips when you were alone in his room. It was honestly torture to have him in front of you looking so sensual and not being able to do anything about it. Even worse was having to watch every woman in the bar try her luck with him, coming up to flirt whenever he was alone. And there was nothing you could do about it, not without revealing your little secret at least.

"You should have listened to me, little one." Your sister's cheerful voice startled you. You looked away from the woman chatting with Spencer at the bar to turn your gaze to Penelope, who was looking at you with a smile that said I told you so.

"Huh?"

"If you had listened to me when I told you to go for it, you wouldn't have that look on your face right now."

"What look?" You played dumb, taking a long sip of your drink. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You were staring at boy wonder talking with that woman over there." Penelope rolled her eyes, tired of hearing you deny your feelings for Spencer. It had been clear to her from day one that you were right for each other and she couldn't understand how you still weren't together.

"I was not!"

"Are you kidding me? If looks could kill, that poor woman would be on the floor right now."

"Very funny, Penny, but I wasn't looking at them." You tried to lie, avoiding looking your sister in the eyes for fear she might read the truth in your gaze. Keeping your relationship with Spencer a secret was one thing, but hiding your jealousy was something you apparently couldn't do.

"If it makes you feel any better he doesn't seem that interested in her." Penelope continued speaking, completely ignoring your previous comment. "You should go talk to him, I'm sure he'd rather be with you anyway."

"No. You know what I'm gonna do?" Penelope shook her head, watching you drink what was left in your glass in one sip before rising from your seat next to her. "I'm gonna buy another round."

You walked away from the table before your sister could protest, heading to the bar to get more alcohol. You were going to need a lot more to be able to handle this whole situation, otherwise jealousy was going to eat you up inside. You bumped into Spencer on purpose as you walked past him, successfully getting his attention.

"Careful with those, the rest of the team is pretty drunk and I'm going to need your help to make sure they get home safely." Spencer said, appearing at your side only a couple of minutes later.

"I can handle my liquor, I'll be fine." You sounded colder than you intended, mistakenly taking your jealousy out on him. Spencer noticed something was wrong with you right away, frowning at your sudden moodiness.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes!" you lied to him, answering without even looking at him. But you immediately regretted it, realizing that it was stupid to lie when you were doing such a bad job of hiding your jealousy. "No, it's not! That woman was flirting with you."

"No she wasn't!" Spencer said and you looked at him with narrowed eyes, deciding if he was serious or if he was playing you for a fool. It didn't take you long to figure out that the confusion in his expression was genuine and then you couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh.

“You can’t possibly be that naive! Half the women in here have been eye fucking you since we arrived.”

“So what? I don’t care about any of them.” The casual tone in which he spoke was almost as annoying as the women in that bar. You knew he was right, you didn't doubt his feelings for you, but you still hated having to watch all those strangers approach him thinking they had a chance. Spencer was yours and you were desperate to let them know, but you couldn't and it was driving you crazy.

"It's annoying, that's what!" you complained, crossing your arms and pouting. "I can't even hold your hand to let them all know you're mine." Spencer's hand traveled to your cheek, taking advantage of the fact that you were far enough away from the rest of the team to be seen. You leaned into his touch, enjoying the warmth of his skin against yours. You missed him and honestly didn't know how much longer you could stand it in this place without being able to touch him or have him near you.

"But that's part of the fun, isn't it?" He echoed the point you had made when he had come to you with a similar concern. You suddenly felt the urge to hit him, and you would have if it weren't for that adorable smile on his face. You couldn't stay mad at him when he looked at you with that face.

"You're lucky you're cute." You warned him, pointing an accusatory finger at him and making him laugh.

"C'mon, I'll stay with you the whole night if that makes you feel better." Spencer promised you, helping you carry the drinks to the table with the rest of your friends.

He kept his word, sitting next to you and not moving from his spot, but that didn't make you feel any better. You could still feel the curious glances of the women around him, wondering if he was single, hoping to get a chance to talk to him. You hated it and the alcohol in your veins wasn't making it any easier. You weren't necessarily drunk, but you did feel a little more liberated and uninhibited. You were a little tipsy and something you did a lot when you were in that state was touching and hugging anyone who was unlucky enough to be next to you. That combined with the jealousy that overwhelmed you was a recipe for disaster.

You started with simple, inconspicuous things, taking Spencer's hand under the table and bringing your leg up on top of his. No one could see you, but it gave you a sense of closeness that calmed your anxious mind. But as the night progressed those hidden caresses turned out to be more and more about satisfying your need for him.

You needed to feel his warmth embracing your body, his lips on yours as he showed you how much he loved you. But, since you knew that wasn't possible —at least not until you left that place—, you settled for resting your head on his shoulder as you chatted, snuggling against him as if you were the only people there, too distracted by the ridiculous way your drunken friends danced on the dance floor. It was as if you were in your own bubble, enjoying your night together as a couple without anyone knowing. It was nice to share that complicity, to look into each other's eyes and understand each other without having to use words.

"Are you feeling better?" Spencer asked you, taking his eyes off the dance floor to look at you. You smiled and nodded, feeling your heart fill with love as you lost yourself in the changing color of his eyes. You had to try hard to contain the urge to kiss him that came over you at that moment. And you were lucky you did because otherwise Emily, who appeared out of nowhere, would have discovered you.

"Hey guys, have you seen my phon...?" Her voice trailed off when she saw the pose you were in, her eyes immediately noticing your hands clasped together on the table. You pulled away from Spencer as quickly as you could, but you still weren't able to stop a smile from forming on Prentiss' lips - though you were grateful that she had tried to contain it.

"Nevermind, carry on." She said, disappearing as quickly as she had appeared in the first place. You let out a growl of frustration, hiding your face in your hands as you promised yourself that you were never going to drink again.

Your heart dropped when you heard Emily's voice on the other end of the line telling you that Penelope and Spencer had been kidnapped. You hadn't even cut the call and you were already running out of your apartment, rushing to your car and on your way to the FBI headquarters where two of the most important people in your life worked. Your brain was on autopilot, reduced to controlling your movement and basic life functions. Your mind was blank, too shocked and scared to even try to process what was happening. You knew that the moment you started thinking about what might be happening to your sister and the love of your life was the moment you would lose your sanity, so you tried your best to keep your mind free of all thoughts. You had to stay strong for them, concentrate all your energy on your desire to see them safe and sound again and maybe the universe would listen.

You lost all sense of time as you paced around the office where Emily had allowed you to wait while they worked, promising to get back to you as soon as they made any progress on the case. You felt like a caged lion, pacing back and forth while muttering to yourself that everything was going to be okay. Both Penelope and Spencer had had this job for so many years, that had to count for something, right? If anyone had the tools to survive a situation like that it was them.

You felt like you were going crazy locked in that dark office. But then the door opened, revealing a very shocked, but safe and sound Penelope. You ran into your sister's arms, letting tears roll down your cheeks as you clung to her, relieved to feel her sweet embrace once again. You went back to your childhood for a moment, remembering the one time you had shared a hug like that in the past. You had just learned of the fatal fate your parents had met and through tears and sobs you clung to your sister. You cried together for what felt like an eternity, and in that embrace you vowed to always be there for each other. Just as you were doing at that very moment.

“He told me to run, so I did… I left him there, how could I have left him there?” Penelope sobbed into your shoulder, feeling responsible for Spencer's future. Through tears, she managed to tell you how she had managed to escape thanks to him, how she had had a small window of time to run and how she had had to ignore the sounds of the commotion Spencer had created in order to escape —even the sound of gunshots. You'd be lying if you said your stomach hadn't dropped when you heard her say that, immediately fearing for your boyfriend's safety, but you knew that wasn't the time to panic. Penelope needed you to be strong, so you swallowed your emotions so you could comfort her.

"Penelope, listen to me." you said, pulling away from her so you could look her in the eye. "None of this is your fault, okay? Spencer made his choice, he's a smart man, you know that. He probably has a plan, he knows what he's doing. He's going to be fine, the team is going to find him and bring him back." You tried to reason with her and yourself, seeking to comfort your sister while calming your nerves with your own words.

"But what if they don't get him in time? W-What if... what if they hurt him before we can get to him?"

"That's not gonna happen, not as long as you're out there using that brilliant brain of yours to help your team to find him." You assured her, giving her a warm smile as you wiped away her tears with your thumb. "You need to stay strong for him right now, alright? You have to help him get back home." It was a plea for help hidden in words of encouragement, a subtle way of begging her to bring Spencer back into your arms. It wasn't fair to ask that of her after all she'd been through, you knew that, but you were desperate.

You knew she was just as desperate as you were, though, so she nodded at your words, wiping away her tears and letting out a long sigh before putting her glasses back on and heading back to her office to do what she did best.

Once again you were left alone, pacing around the empty office with your thoughts as your only company. You hated the waiting, the uncertainty and the fear tightening in your chest and making it hard to breathe. You wanted to believe that Spencer would be okay, but the truth was you didn't know. There was no way to be sure the team would get to him in time and the mere possibility that something bad could happen to him was driving you crazy.

Your eyes were glued to the screen of your phone, reading over and over again the last texts you and Spencer had shared as you prayed they wouldn't turn out to be your final conversation. He had warned you that he would be a little late and apologized for ruining your first dinner in your new apartment. You had been quick to reply that it wasn't a problem, assuring him that the extra time would help you finish preparing dinner. Your last message telling him you loved him and to be careful still remained unread and you couldn't help but wonder if he really knew how much you meant it. You hoped he knew how much you loved him and how happy you were to have him in your life. He was the best thing that ever happened to you and you refused to accept that your story would end like this after all you had gone through to be together.

Just as you were about to go to Penelope to ask her if they had any progress on the case, your phone vibrated with a message from her. You almost dropped the device to the floor when you read the words 'Spencer is fine', feeling your muscles relax as a wave of relief swept through your body. You didn't even answer her, opting to go find her to ask her what she knew. However, you discovered that she wasn't in her office, so you went to the conference room where they used to have all their meetings. Then you saw through the glass the crowd of people gathered in the bullpen, among whom you distinguished the figure of Spencer being hugged and kissed by his friends.

You ran out of the office into his arms without a second thought, breaking some speed record in the process. When you called his name he turned to you and your vision blurred with tears as you noticed the purplish red tone on the skin of his temple and the corner of his lips. You hated to see him hurt, even though it was minimal considering the complexity of the situation. You knew things could have turned out much worse, but you still couldn't help but be upset at the image of the love of your life beaten and hurt.

“Thank god you’re okay, I was so worried.” You murmured against his chest as Spencer pulled you tightly into his arms. You let the warmth of his body envelop you, slowly calming your nerves. He was there. He was okay. He had come back to you and that was all that mattered to you.

"I'm okay," he assured you, placing a delicate kiss on the crown of your head. The scent of your hair brought him back home, filling his insides with that warm feeling that only you awakened in him. He was fine, he had you in his arms and that was all he needed to regain his composure.

You pulled away briefly so you could look at him, taking his face in your hands while your eyes scanned his wounds. It was nothing serious, just a couple of bruises that would disappear in a few days. You let your fingers caress his skin delicately before shortening the little distance that separated you, joining your lips in a kiss. You didn't think about the fact that you were in the middle of the office or that the entire BAU team was behind you watching the scene, the world around you wasn't a concern at that moment. You only cared about Spencer and the way his lips moved against yours, showing you how happy he was to be back in your arms too.

It was a delicate, yet powerful kiss. You didn't want to put too much pressure on his lips so as not to hurt him, but you didn't need it to let him know how much you loved him and how worried you had been about him. For a moment you had thought that you weren't going to get another chance to do that, to kiss him with everything you had, to tell him that you loved him one more time. It was something that terrified you, so now that you finally had him back with you, you didn't want to pass up the chance to join your lips one more time.

However, your beautiful magical moment was interrupted by the high pitched voice of Penelope, who was admiring the scene with surprise.

“Oh my god! You two!”

You abruptly pulled away from Spencer, finally realizing what you had done. You were grateful to have your back to the team, so the only one who could see the panic in your eyes was your boyfriend, who smiled at you in amusement. You knew the situation wasn't so terrible, but this wasn't how you had imagined telling others about your relationship with Spencer.

"I fucked it up, didn't I?" you whispered so only he could hear you.

"Yep."

"And they're all staring at us, aren't they?" Spencer looked over your shoulder for a moment, passing his gaze over the group of profilers who were admiring you with surprised and happy expressions on their faces. Then he returned his gaze to your face and nodded, earning a grunt from you as you hid into his chest, seeking refuge from the inevitable comments and questions that were to come.

"I can't believe you two! How could you keep this a secret?" You heard Penelope complaining behind your back, speaking increasingly faster and in a high-pitched tone. "How long has this been going on?"

"You don't really want to know." You told her, emerging from your refuge in Spencer's chest to face your sister. She let out a gasp, clearly surprised by your response.

"How long?" she insisted, almost feeling betrayed that you kept something so important hidden from her for who knows how long.

You and Spencer shared a look before you let out a sigh. "Since your birthday party at Rossi's place." You confessed and Penelope's jaw dropped, unable to believe that you had been able to keep your relationship a secret for so long. "Oh and also, since we're sharing, I don't have any friends named Sophie." You added, amused by your sister's expression.

"Oh I'm so mad right now, but I'm also so happy for you guys! You’re so lucky I love you! Come here!" Penelope enveloped you in a tight hug before you could object. She planted a loud kiss on each of your cheeks, repeating how happy she was for you, before letting the rest of the team congratulate you.

"I knew I saw something between you the other day!" Emily stressed, remembering when she had caught you together at the bar. Now that she knew the truth it was obvious that you were together, but at the time she hadn't given it much thought. You guys had been dancing around each other since she had joined the team so many years ago, so she thought it was just you being you. She was happy to be wrong though, you two deserved to finally be happy.

You were enveloped in the warm love of your friends, who showered you with positive wishes for your future. It was a nice ending to such a horrible day, exactly what you needed to finally quiet your troubled mind. It definitely wasn't the way you imagined revealing your relationship with Spencer, but you were happy it had happened. It reminded you that as long as you had Spencer by your side and your family close by life was beautiful no matter the adversities.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x female reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer x fem reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid x reader angst

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obeymeshallwedateaddict · 1 month

Text

Master list

Last updated: 20/09/24

———————————————

Sorted by:

Prompts:

FLUFF:

The love letter

Accidental first kiss

Love and water - slight NSFW included!

Shower heat - NSFW mentions included!

The unexpected rainfall

Devildom 'I love you' day

Beach day and 7 kisses

You're beautiful - contains NSFW mentions

You're beautiful part 2 - contains NSFW mentions

The first 'I love you'

NSFW:

Your clothes, my body, shared passion

ANGST:

Simeon's troubles - contains: Angst/Fluff

When souls collide

Be careful what you wish for

Lost what once was mine

A letter to Lucifer - contains: Angst/Fluff

I was supposed to protect you - brothers

I was supposed to protect you - dateables

Others:

The apple doesn't fall far away from the tree

The secret to Lucifer's happiness

MC's inner dominance

It was never different

MC is an unpopular idol

Demonopoly night

The ring of light (Nightbringer)

The brothers' reactions to MC being an actor in a movie

Solomon's cooking

Characters:

Brothers:

Lucifer:

A letter to Lucifer - contains: Angst/Fluff

Mammon:

Barbatos x Mammon relationship hcs - contains: Fluff

Leviathan:

Thirteen x Levi relationship hcs - contains: Fluff/NSFW (slight)

Satan:

Hold my hand - contains: Fluff

Dateables:

Barbatos:

Barbatos x Solomon relationship hcs - contains: Fluff

Barbatos x Mammon relationship hcs - contains: Fluff

Simeon:

Simeon's troubles - contains: Fluff/Angst

Solomon:

Barbatos x Solomon relationship hcs - contains: Fluff

Side characters:

Thirteen:

Thirteen x Levi relationship hcs - contains: Fluff/NSFW (slight)

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funnyscienceman · 1 year

Text

listen listen listen listen. i am never going to get over singed & viktor. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE MENTAL ANGUISH. THE MESS OF EMOTIONS VIKTOR HAS TO DEAL WITH. he's so steadfast with his morals and ideals. hextech must not be weaponized. dangerous science is fine as long as the only person at risk of getting hurt is me. the moment it kills someone else he's fucking BROKEN by it and just throws in the gd towel. YET SINGED WAS THE ONE WHO TAUGHT HIM. like just. imagine, ok. imagine— take the premise that singed & viktor were actually pretty close. viktor was lonely as a kid, but he found company in rio. in singed. singed provides a space and opportunity for viktor to do his science stuff. "we can be loners together." here's someone he probably has a decent amount of affection and respect for, maybe even admires like a kid would a mentor/role model/parental figure. and he hurts rio. and viktor doesn't understand, he can't reconcile this. "we can be loners together," but also, "you did this?" viktor's got like a whole slew of emotions to deal with. What the fuck? How could you? I hate you. But also, "I told you, I was consulting a friend about our quandary."

"You built this? Why aren't you playing with the others?"

"We can be loners together."

Like just what are you supposed to do when someone who provided for you — who took care of you, who looked after you as a kid — hurts someone? Someone that you care about? What the FUCK are you supposed to when that person is willing to torture and kill for science — something that you are also passionate about, the very thing you both found commonality in, bonded over — and does it all without even a hint of remorse? What are you supposed to think?

Are you allowed to find comfort and safety in that person anymore? Can you still have good memories about them, and look back at them fondly? Can you be thankful for all the good that person's done for you?

What does it say about you, if they're the one who influenced you so much so early in your life, and here they are now?

Viktor gets Sky killed, and can you imagine what must've been running through his head? I'm no better than him. I'm turning out just like him. I am just like him. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

AND IT'S JUST.

AAGGHH!!!

#sorry this is so disjointed it's 11pm #singed arcane #arcane singed #viktor arcane #arcane viktor #THIS ISNT EVEN TO MENTION THE BATTLECAST SKINLINE BTW #LIKE GODDAMN #THESE CHARACTERS #riot would get so much money out of me if they made stuff for them fr #everyday i lose my mind over these two #it's such a great contrast to all the other parent-child/mentor-protege relationships in arcane too cus #vi's taking vander's lessons to heart #jinx doesnt give a shit about the bad stuff silco's done #the closest resemblence to singed & vik is mel & her mom but it's like #same text different font style yknow #singed is the background character you don't think twice about #ambessa's much more proactive #heimer & jayce have a similar dynamic too i think but im not gonna clog the tags #and i only have the braincells for singed & vik lmfao #arcane #god s2 pls dont fuck these characters up im praying im begging on my gd knees

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howi99 · 7 months

Note

Grimm au

Salem called ozpin!? God how did that go? Like with a grimm or by phone?

Ooohh bigger question is Salem with the times she knows what a phone and tv is? Or is she behind the times?

Ozpin: Salem, so good to see you. You really should get more outside, you look grimmly pale.

Salem: Ozpin, my dear, how goes your aching back? We both know you shouldn't strain yourself too much at your age!

Mama arc: I accepted to use my home for this meeting. If both of you don't stop being passive aggressive right now, i'm going to kick both your raggedy ass out of the house.

Ozpin: ... Sorry Nicole.

Salem: We will... Try being less... Antagonistic.

Mama arc (aka Nicole): Good. Now i heard from Salem that one of her henchmen did something to my baby boy. Now, i hope it's either not something that will cause irreversible damage to Jaune or make anything?

Salem: *sigh* Don't worry dear, he isn't in any danger. In fact he might be the only human truly out of danger from the grimms.

Ozpin: *nods* I could see during the initiation that the creatures of grimm weren't attracted to Jaune as much as to the other students.

Nicole: i heard he got some physical mutations... If my boy becomes a grimm/human hybrid, i swear to god.

Salem: There's no risk for him to... Well, to turn like me, if that's your concern. The "parasite" is more symbiote and needs the host to be at his best. Both physically and mentally. I technically could take partial control over him but i won't ever hurt my descendent... Not like high and mighty over there.

Ozpin: His behavior didn't drastically change, though i did notice a lack of... Awareness?

Nicole: let me guess, he doesn't see any hint from a girl that likes him?

Ozpin: the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

Nicole: *sigh* so, aside from my boy turning into a weregrimm, you both agree to the ceasefire, correct?

Ozpin: I read the document Salem sent to me, yes. *Turning to Salem* I'm still surprised you have a working scroll and an internet connection.

Salem: I also need entertainment Ozpin. What else am i supposed to do? Look at a window all day?

Ozpin: I meant i was surprised you have access to the cct tower from that far away.

Salem: ... I know a guy.

Nicole: Hey, focus you two!

Ozpin: Sorry. I do agree with your terms, a truce until the end of his education, your pawn at my school are not to be armed and you will help me save the fall maiden. Did i miss anything?

Salem: No. Those are the terms.

#jaune arc #rwby #rwby au #grimm au #oc #salem rwby #professor ozpin #answer

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anyaharveyii · 6 days

Text

there's no way the batkids haven't each had a phase where they had a crush on one of the villains they're supposed to be fighting (I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree)

#dc #dcu #batfam #batfamily

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notsofunsenpai · 7 months

Text

This is part 3 ,but it works out as a oneshot as well so no one misses out on what happens!:D

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Alastor was woken up by soft sniffles along being gently shooked awake by little hands,if he was in a deep sleep he wouldn't have felt it,he opens one eye to see his daughter crying,"What is it honey?" He asked groggily,trying to wake up some.

"Bad dweamm dada.." she sobs as Alastor is now fully up,he take her in his arms, holding her close along with rubbing her back,"It's okay,you're safe, darling.." he said, hugging her,glancing at the time that read five in the morning. "You can stay in here for a bit." He said,wanting to lay back down. Charlie happily babbles,nuzzling against her father, who lays back down with her,putting the blanket over them. Alastor closes his eyes for what feels like a few seconds,ending up falling back to sleep. Charlie, who was still awake, moved off of her father,going to her mwama, who was dead asleep. She stares at him and then playfully smacks the blonde in the face,earning small groans from him. She giggles as she then pokes his chubby cheeks repeatedly before jumping on him,hearing an oof sound from him along with some movements from under the covers for him to look at her.

"Good morning, Charlotte..." he says half awake.

"Charlie!" The young blonde said, puffing out her cheeks as she playfully jumps on Luficer again.

"Okay.. im up..." he raspyly said, sitting up,hugging his daughter.

"It's so early.." he said, looking at the clock,"Why are you up?" He asked,thinkin that her sleeping schedule is gonna be fucked.

"Monsters!" She says.

"I thought i spray them away."

"Bathroom."

"I didn't spray there.. I'll do it later on." He said,truth be told there was no monsters he knows no one dares try to break into their home if they have a death wish, so to ease her worries he always spray some air freshner to make it seem like he scare the scary monsters away.

"Come on kiddo- wait did you wake your dad up?" Lucifer asked,hopefully he could hand Charlie over to his partner so he could sleep.

"Wake me up and you're a dead man love." Alastor says suddenly.

"Damn." Lucifer pouts,"Let me make breakfast for you and Char Char then.." he said,leaning over to the night stand to get his white robe and tying it around his scarred body,he was already wearing duck pajamas bottoms. He still havent gotten his other pjs out of the dryer yet so this will do,he picks his daughter up,"Do you want anything love?" He asked his partner.

"Peace and quiet. "

"Starve."

"You're always a terrible cook." Alastor replied back.

"Hey!.. so mean." He then gets up with Charlie in his arms,leaving the room he goes to the kitchen along with turning on the living room and kitchen lights so he doesnt trip over things again. He sits Charlie in her high chair,he goes into the fridge to get her some juice,"I'm making oatmeal this morning." He said, handing her sippy cup filled with apple juice. Charlie immediately starts drinking her juice,it's her favorite..or was it orange juice? She didnt know,they were both tasty to her.

Lucifer started making oatmeal the ones that you can just add water then microwave under 3 minutes,once it's done he tasted it to make sure it wasnt to hot for Charlie.

"Hey!!"

"I was just checking the temperature, I wasn't gonna eat it." Lucifer defended himself,setting the bowl in front of her as he happily puts her hands in the bowl and eating.

"You have a spoon for a reason.." he said as he watches her make a mess with the oatmeal.

Lucifer goes into one of the cabinets to get another bowl out and pour himself some cereal,he took the spoon Charlie was supposed to use for himself,and sat down next to her as he eats his dry cereal,realizing at the last second they need milk and two that he eating dry cereal..

He ate it like a champ,not minding it. He thought the spoon was an overkill when he could just use his hands.

Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

He was quick to finish his cereal, and he got up and put it into the sink as he got himself a bottle of water from the fridge and drank it.

Charlie was now playing with the small amount of food she had,Lucifer decided she was done and took the bowl from her as he finished off the rest by using his hand,eating the remaining oatmeal. He then puts her bowl in the sink along with washing his hands,"Come on, charlie, let's get you ready since you are fully awake." He said taking her out of the high chair,as she holds onto him,getting oatmeal onto his robe. He takes her to the bathroom where he helped her brush her teeth along with washing her up some,brushing her unkept hair along with dressing her up. She was wearing a red deer onesie with the feet being little black paws and on the backside a small red deer tail with white underneath can be seen. "Im papa!!" She beams,practically jumping up and down.

"Yes you are sweetly." He smiles,it was a habit for Alastor and Lucifer to dress Charlie up as their loved one,for an example when Charlie was first born Lucifer had put a deer beanie onto her along with a red onsies as she sleeps. He did it at first because laundry wasn't done at the time but ending up liking the idea and thought it would be cute,another reason is that he didn't want his girl to end up forgetting about them or hating them for some reason.

Alastor thought it was cute and funny so he kinda just went along with it,not really questioning Lucifer.

"Imma let you play for a bit,then after play time we gotta go to the store for some stuff."

"Oki!!" Charlie said practically running out the door.

"I hope she doesnt make a mess." He said smiling softly,as he quickly brushes his teeth along with brushing his hair,whicing ended up more poofyier than normal because he didn't want to wet or do anything with it.

He passed Charlie's room to see her talking on her toy landline,he smiles at her before going to his shared room to get dressed.

He opens the closet,going through it just picking out something to wear which he picks out blue jeans and a white shirt. "Do you need anything from the store love?" He asked,taking the robe off,showing off his scars once more before putting the shirt on. The scars were old,the ones that were on his upper arms that the shirt hid were when he went through depression. He doesn't like to talk much about it because it'll make him cry and he wants to be strong for his family.

"Get me the ingredients for jambalaya,we're having that for dinner tonight, please. I've been craving it but haven't gotten around to it." Alastor said awake,he knows he won't go back to sleep.

"Okay." Lucifer then goes over to him and kisses him," Always So beautiful when you wake up,i love you."

Alastor who felt like a zombie lets his lover kiss him. He's usually a morning person, but lately, he's been sleeping later than usual. He feels fingers run through his messy red hair, then the feeling of his ears being scratched,he leans into the touch,smiling softly.

No matter how many times Lucifer touches Alastor's ears, he always loved how soft they were. "I'll be an hour,think you can survive without me ?"

"Definitely. " The other remarks.

"Supposed to say no -"

Alastor laughs,making the blonde puff out his cheeks,"Fine, see if i care." He said, leaving the room.

Alastor counting backward from three ,"three..two..one"

Lucifer pokes his head out from the other side of the door,"Do you really mean that?" He asked,giving him his puppy dog eyes.

Alastor softly sighed,"No, i don't mean that,I'll miss you."

"Okay, good. You better." He said before going back to Charlie.

The radio demon smiles,"That's my idiot. " he softly says to no one but himself.

Lucifer gets Charlie, who reluctantly stopped playing to go to the store. She loves adventure and helping out as much as she can. He puts her in her red car seat,making sure she's buckled up, then gets inside of the red Kia Forte, then drives to the store. Charlie had her own little steering wheel. That way, she could drive along with her mama, too.

"Vroommm!" Charlie says,hitting her little horn while turning the wheel constantly,"Wook, I'm drivin!!"

"I'm very proud of you,you're an amazing driver, hon." Luficer smiles at his daughter through the mirror's view as they soon arrive at the store.

#hello tumblr #no proofreading we die like men #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #appleradio #radioapple #soft alastor #soft lucifer #little charlie #charlie morningstar #lucifer morningstar #my writting

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angelisgonnastartchangingurls · 6 months

Text

dad on a saturday

annie's dad dropped by as he often did on saturday morning. robbie was out -- he'd been out with jim last night and they'd gone back to julia's parents' house in the suburbs to double-team her. annie answered the door in a bra and panties -- she'd been to another fundraiser with richard last night, and they'd fucked in his limo on the way back. annie had bounced on richard's cock with her panties pulled aside in full view of the driver. it had been really hot. she could still feel richard's dried cum in her bush.

he asked where robbie was, and so annie pulled up a picture jim had sent of his cock in julia's ass and robbie's cock in julia's mouth.

"it doesn't bother you to see pictures of your brother like that?" he asked.

"of course not, he has a nice cock," annie said. "apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"sorry about that," he said. "a little too much scotch."

"don't apologize for that," annie said. "i really appreciate the intimacy."

"i know you value that," he said. "but maybe a little too much."

"nah, i have my priorities straight," she said. "did mom get you off this morning?"

"yes," he said. "gave me a blowjob."

"good girl," annie said. "come talk to me while i shower, i have to get the cum out of my bush."

annie left the shower curtain open so she could chat with her father and stand fully naked in front of him. she literally put shampoo in her bush, which was kind of funny, but it worked.

when she got out, and as she was toweling off, she was surprised that he reached out to touch her pubic hair. "nice and soft now," he said approvingly. "sorry for touching," he said.

"you can touch me anywhere you want," annie said, not even in a flirty way, just a frank admission of the truth.

"you're a little hairier than you mom at this point," he said. "she's practically shaved."

"i really like having a bush right now," annie said. "i like it as a cum target."

he laughed. "yeah, that's always fun."

"where is your favorite place to cum on mom?" annie asked.

"her tits," he said.

"i'd like to see that," she said.

"your mother films us all the time," he said. "i'm sure she has some video."

"i can't ask her for that," annie said. they were in her bedroom now. she had pulled on white panties. her bush was still wet and left a damp triangle in the front.

"i think you two could bond over being so horny all the time lately," he laughed.

"i've always been horny all the time," annie said. "i didn't always think to act on it."

"what helped you learn that you could?"

"my mentor, at school," she said. "dr. lawrence, remember him?"

"sure," her dad said.

"well, he sort of told me i wasn't sexually adventurous enough to handle what some of my patients were gonna throw at me because i was a pretty woman and so i'd attract people who wanted to talk about sex."

"i suppose you were not very sexually adventurous in college."

"no, i'd been with like three guys. so i started fooling around with julia and a bunch of my other friends, and i fucked dr. lawrence, and i turned it around."

"you fucked dr. lawrence, your mentor?"

"yeah," annie said. "it was very cathartic."

he laughed.

after her dad left, robbie came home mid-morning. annie was horny, so he ate her pussy with her panties pulled aside on the couch, and then told her he had a story.

it was 2am at julia's house and he'd gone to the bathroom, naked, after falling asleep in bed with julia and jim. julia's stepmom had walked in on him pissing, and apologized, but just stood there in a tank top and panties. so he'd just looked at her with his cock out and said, "you gonna take those off for me or what?" and she pulled her panties down and said "i thought you'd never ask." he said she was shaved, and he fucked her bent over the sink and she asked him how her pussy compared to her stepdaughter's.

"that's fucking hot," annie said.

"i know right?"

"what did you tell her?"

"i told her to shut up and she started to cum."

"good boy," annie said.

he told her he went back to the bedroom and told julia he'd just fucked her stepmom and julia went down on his flaccid cock so she could taste her mother's pussy.

later that day, julia sent annie a screenshot from one of her brothers' snapchat accounts. it was a picture, shot through an ajar door, of julia getting spitroasted in bed by jim and robbie, and it was captioned "tfw your slut older sister moves back home."

"LOL," annie replied.

"It's not funny!" Julia replied.

"You're right it's not funny, it's hot."

"It's a LITTLE hot," Julia admitted.

annie asked jim what the dynamic was like at julia's parents' house. he said julia and her stepmom are both always walking around in their underwear. he told her he asked the brothers if they ever spy on their mom and they showed him footage of a secret camera they'd set up in the bathroom, video of her getting naked and getting in the shower.

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wakacreations · 2 months

Text

House of Hope: Writing for Decorum

Summary:

The tadpoled adventurers all gathered before the bed in the boudoir for Haarlep had a story to tell for what was the relationship between the yapping cambion, the disapproving archdevil, and the coquettish incubus. It would be a perfect time to complete Raphael’s order of written decorum as well as to have live audience feedback.

Storytime with Haarlep

Lord of the Eighth and the Master: A Haarlep's Tale

There once was brat not a prince. His father did not care to reminisce. He had a bastard little heir that would endlessly stare at the crown that surely wouldn't be missed. The cheeky cambion child couldn't sit idle for they were greedy for power beyond reach. The foolish half mortal went through turmoil when the child’s father did come to claim the crown.

Oh did they rage. Oh did they rage. The “Master” of the House of Hope did tear their own home in two for he was but a foolish babe. The poor incubus had to bear the caretaking of such a terrible tantruming half devil heir for their father couldn't stand for the comedy to unfold. It was under their lord eighth’s orders to entertain the kid’s boredom for it was the only way to keep them under a watchful eye.

He could not stand for a rumour to spread of the cambion bard jester with jiggly bell shoes from Cania. For who could sire such a being from their loins. The man of Hellfire would not see to it for Asmodeus’s jab at his son’s lack of professional decorum.

What devil and cambion never knew under the brat’s guise the incubus laughed for what did they clearly have not seen. They are mirrored copies in different bodies.

Different names with the same tack for the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

The mouse and their companions cheered for another story. Just when I, Haarlep was to recall a tale of Raphael's first love sick ballad...

"Haarlep! Who ordered you to have unscheduled guests in the boudoir!?!"

The uptight little brat had to make an appearance... I suppose they could not stand for there is another capable of enrapturing the mouse's attention. Maybe next time little mouse~

"Little mouse.. what are you doing here?~"

Our dear narrator makes a mad dash to the portal room.

"Haarlep get back here! You and I are to have a word." The cambion chases after the scantily clad incubus.

"Till next time mouse~" the Master of the House of Hope snaps.

#bg3 #bg3fanart #bg3 art #my fanart #fanart #art #digitalart #raphael bg3 #raphael the cambion #bg3 raphael #bg3 fanart #haarlep #bg3 haarlep #haarlep the incubus #raphaels orders

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randomprose · 1 year

Text

*post-canon with reference to ch 385*

now posted on ao3!

Guan Shan is watching another one of his blasted idol shows.

It’s been twenty minutes since He Tian sat beside him and Guan Shan still hasn’t paid attention to him.

It’s not often that he thinks about it, but he suppose that Guan Shan has a penchant for pretty things. Not that He Tian blames him. It’s human nature to be drawn to beauty. And he’s not susceptible to that himself considering the way he gravitates to Guan Shan.

It’s just that…He Tian wanst to be the only pretty thing in Guan Shan’s line of sight. He never quite outgrew that childish side of him that feels like he’s going to fucking expire if Guan Shan doesn’t look or acknowledge him.

He Tian is loath to admit it but he really does share a lot of uncanny traits with his brother. Naturally, perhaps considering the man practically raised him. For instance, He Cheng tends to get easily jealous whenever Brother Qiu's involved. He thinks he’s subtle about it, but everyone and their mother knows he’s weirdly possessive of Brother Qiu. The shit he pulled on that one National Day holiday party at his island was just one in a long laundry list of his brother’s jealousy rearing its ugly head.

He thinks it runs in the family — is pretty sure it runs in the family. From what little he remembers of him, his father was also a very jealous man when it came to their mother. He always hated it when she goes out too much, when she doesn't pay attention to him as much as he wanted her too — which was all the time. He wanted her to be consumed by him as much as he was with her.

He Tian is pretty much the same with Mo Guan Shan. He’s not proud of it, hates that the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree, but he can't help it when it comes to him. He’s trying his best to not be like the other men in his family in any way, but especially to the people he loves.

He wants to love Guan Shan the right way, but the man just awakens every impulse in He Tian in ways he cannot control. Impulses he was taught to conceal well and he thought he's learned to control.

Then again, Mo Guan Shan has always been an exercise for self-control to He Tian.

It’s been thirty minutes and Guan Shan still hasn’t paid attention to him and He Tian has had enough

“Why do your eyes always stray?”

“What?”

Guan Shan sounds distracted and He Tian hates how his eyes doesn’t even leave the TV. He’s right here, dammit. The show’s on commercial break right now. What could possibly be more interesting than He Tian with his arm around him and practically on his lap? How could Guan Shan be more invested on idols dancing on the screen than him? He Tian even wore the cologne that he knows always drives Guan Shan crazy and makes him want to fuck him.

“Your eyes,” He Tian says, thinking about what to say next to get Guan Shan to look at him instead. “You still look at other people even when I’m around. Am I not enough for you?”

“What?” That got the desired effect as Guan Shan turns to look at He Tian in incredulity at the sudden accusation. “What the fuck are you talking about? My eyes don't stray. My eyes have never strayed.”

How can it when He Tian has been on his face and up in his business since they were fifteen. Not that Guan Shan particularly mind. Much. Now.

“They do.” He Tian tells him, tone flat but Guan Shan can hear him pouting — can see him pouting. “You couldn't keep your eyes away from those girls dancing in the street before.”

“Wha—” For a second, Guan Shan honest to god does not know what He Tian is talking about until a memory, a very embarrassing memory, of He Tian dancing against him in the middle of a park pops into his mind's eye. “Are you still not over that shit? That was years ago! I was a teenager! We’re engaged.” He raises his left hand and points to his finger with the silver band. “And I said I just liked the way they danced!”

This does nothing to get He Tian out of this particular mood he’s put himself in because for sure as hell Guan Shan didn’t. Moody, fickle bastard. Why something that happened when they were fifteen will set him off like this, Guan Shan doesn’t know, but he figures He Tian is just having one of those days — and by that he means days when he just woke up and decided to be more of a pain in the ass that usual. Specifically to Guan Shan.

He Tian nods at the TV. “You watch a lot of girl group idol shows,” he continues because of course he’s not done. It’s too early in the conversation for him to see reason and leave Guan Shan alone to enjoy his show in peace.

“Jesus, Tian. Are you seriously riding my dick for liking female idols?”

A glint flashes in his eyes and He Tian opens his mouth to make a quip about riding dick (because of course he would) but Guan Shan bulldozes over him.

“I’m not blind. They’re cute and easy on the eyes. They dance well. I like the songs.” These are all objective reasons, but Guan Shan should only be so lucky for He Tian to see them that way. “What do you want me to say?”

“I’m cute and way easier on the eyes.”

‘Cute’ isn’t exactly the word Guan Shan will use to define He Tian. Calling He Tian cute is like calling a shark with its teeth bared or a switch blade cute. But he’s definitely easy on the eyes alright, so, sure, he’ll give him that.

“I never said you weren’t.” There. That’s vague and true enough for He Tian to get the message. Hopefully.

“If you want me to sing and dance you just have to ask,” He Tian shrugs, trying for casual, but the fact he’s started this whole asinine conversation doesn’t really help his case. “I can even do a routine right now and ride your dick for real in a more literal sense.”

Yeah. He Tian just really needed to get that one out.

“Are you seriously jealous of idols?”

Guan Shan meant his question to sound exasperated and in a way that will finally make He Tian hear how ridiculous he’s being. But then He Tian hits him with—

“I'm jealous of anyone that catches your attention.”

He Tian says it without missing a beat, completely dead serious, and the sincerity of it catches Guan Shan off-guard that whatever retort he has at the tip of his tongue and any annoyance he’s feeling about this whole thing vanishes into thin air.

Motherfucker always does this. Fucking He Tian and his stupid ability to charm and endear Guan Shan. How does he not get embarrassed saying shit like that?

“Unbelievable,” Guan Shan says, shaking his head, more amused now than anything. “Unbe-fucking-lievable. You really are the most jealous man I know.”

“You know other men?” He Tian’s brows crease and a dark look has started to loom over his features. The seriousness of it all makes Guan Shan want to laugh especially considering he’s pretty sure the line came from a meme. “Out of curiosity, what are their names? Where do you know them? I need to know. For safety purposes.”

“He Tian, fucking seriously?” He Tian has leaned over him in his inquisition and Guan Shan has to push against his chest to make him back off. “The safety card, really?”

He Tian shrugs, “My family has a lot of enemies. You never know.”

Fuck this shit. The commercials are over and the show is back on. Guan Shan is done talking with this psycho. “Alright.”

“No, wait,” He Tian catches him by the wrists holding his hands still on his chest. “I’m serious.”

“He Tian, seriously. Where is this coming from? Did I say or do anything to get you like this?” Guan Shan tries to pry He Tian’s hands off but he only tightens his grip. Whatever humor he found in this exchange has vanished and the irritation he initially felt when this whole conversation started out of buttfuck nowhere is starting to come back fullforce. “Tch. No, wait. Did you hit your head in your last assignment? Is that why you're acting crazier than usual? That must be it, huh?”

“No. I—” He Tian cuts himself off. Something passes in his face that makes him think better than say what he was going to. “It's nothing. I've just been thinking.”

He Tian does this sometimes. Starts shit that Guan Shan thinks is just him being a menace and wanting to get a rise out of him, which is usually the case. But sometimes things veer to a different territory—away from playful and silly and towards something that makes He Tian close off.

Guan Shan sees that, for whatever reason, this really seems to bother him. He feels a little guilty and hates himself for it. Sometimes he forgets that, for all his confidence and bravado, He Tian sometimes gets hit by insecurities too.

What does it say about Mo Guan Shan that he finds comfort in that? That he’s one of the people, if not the only one, He Tian gets like this and shows this side of him? What does it say about Mo Guan Shan that it practically makes his heart sing?

Ah, whatever. Their relationship has always been kind of fucked up anyway.

“Alright, dipshit. Listen up,” Guan Shan sighs as he shakes off He Tian’s grip on his wrists so he can hold his face and keep his eyes on him. “I have never fucked or gotten fucked by anyone other than you since we were teenagers. Which is kind of pathetic when you think about it. I never thought I'd be a monogamous one-man son of a bitch so early in my life and for the rest of it. But.” He shrugs. “Here I am. Here we are.”

“You sound disappointed,” He Tian grumbles and he looks so put off that Guan Shan has no choice but kiss him sweetly on the nose. Just to chase that stupid pout off his face. He’s been hanging out too much with Jian Yi.

“Tch. I’m really not. I like that I never need to get tested because other than—and I am saying this again so it will get through your thick dumb skull—I have never screwed anyone other than you my entire fucking life, I'm pretty fucking sure you've never fucked anyone other than me judging by the conversation we just had.”

“Why would I want anybody else when I already have you?”

Guan Shan just hums. Goddamn shameless earnest fucker.

“Also, again, you idiot, we’re literally engaged. We’re flying to New York in three months for the ceremony. We’re actually going to be legally married with actual papers and legal documents and shit.” Guan Shan pinches and stretches He Tian’s cheeks, ignoring his sounds of pain and protests, before kissing him sweetly on the lips. “Now, can I go back to watching my idol show in peace?”

He Tian pouts as he rubs his cheeks and Guan Shan thinks if he doesn’t stop pouting like that he’s gonna—

“You've never even thought of being with someone else other than me? Really? Ah, Little Mo!”

“That's what you got from all that? Seriously?” Guan Shan rolls his eyes but He Tian’s giddiness is contagious that it comes off more fond than anything.

He Tian wraps his arms around Guan Shan from the side and leans his head on his shoulder, cheeks squished against his arm when he says, “I love you.”

“Tch. Aish. Whatever, dickface.” Guan Shan is a little miffed that he missed half of his show but he still turns his head and kisses He Tian's forehead.

They stay like that in comfortable silence as He Tian finally lets Guan Shan watch his show until the host announced the last performance and he stands up.

“Where are you going?” Guan Shan asks.

“To the gym. And maybe the spa for a haircut and a facial.”

“You're so vain.”

“Well, I gotta be if I'm to keep your eyes on me and be the only man you'll ever fuck for the rest of your life,” He Tian snarks as he pulls a face. “It's hard to complete with idols. Not that it’s much of a competition anyway.”

Arrogant prick. Guan Shan hates that he’s really not wrong about that. He Tian easily trumps most celebrities in looks alone. And Guan Shan really hates it so much that it’s not just him being biased.

“If the wedding isn’t literally months away and we haven’t sent out all the deposits I swear to fucking god.” He’s still within hitting distance so Guan Shan swings one of the couch throw pillows at him. “Fucking leave already. God.”

“And when I get back maybe you'll give me a facial yourself, hm?”

“The fucking mouth on you. I swear to fucking god.” He Tian is leering over him so Guan Shan pulls him down by his collar to plant another kiss on him.

He Tian pulls away with a satisfied curl of his lips after stealing another quick chaste kiss.

“Don't get your hair cut too short and I just might.”

This catches He Tian off-guard and he blinks in surprise before chuckling and giving a two-finger salute.

His laughter echoes in Guan Shan’s ears long after the front door shuts.

now posted on ao3!

#19 days #tianshan #wanted to do a spin on the old 'jelous he tian' trope #but he's jealous of celebrities #of all people #lmao #he tian #mo guan shan #reference: ch 385 #old xian #writing

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haveyouseenthisskeleton · 6 months

Note

Can I get UT toriel, Papyrus, alphys, undyne, and grilby's reaction to frisk telling them that sans once said if he didn't make a promise to toriel, then they'd be " dead"?

Undertale Papyrus - Papyrus suddenly choked on the pasta he wasn't even eating yet. What? You probably heard that wrong, Sans would never say something like that, he loves children. ... Right? Well, anyway, it's in the past so who cares? He quickly changes the subject to not talk about it. He still will confront Sans later who explains why he did this. Papyrus is a little shocked he could say something like that to a child, but yeah, he can guess why. But that was still terrible. But he can understand. Sometimes, he wishes Sans confess a little more to him, but knowing he's trusting at least Toriel to give up on such crazy plans is still comforting him. Sans needs more real friends he can rely on, and that's a long time since Papyrus resigned to not being one of his confidants. Sans is too scared to hurt him to be sincere. Not that Papyrus is that sincere with him either though. But, well... Maybe it will be better someday.

Undertale Toriel - She acts like it's nothing in front of Frisk, but it's upsetting her slightly. She's glad Sans trusted her on this and (more or less) protected the child on their journey, but... She can't stop thinking about what would have happened if she never answered that weird jokester back then. Could Sans really have killed a child in cold blood? Maybe she doesn't know her best friend all that much after all. She's still looking for a chance to have a heart-to-heart with him about this.

Undertale Undyne - She gives the kid a big tap on the back and says with a big shark smile that if the Hotlands weren't this hot they would be long dead too and that she perfectly understands the feeling! ... Uh, thanks Undyne, I suppose. She can't really blame Sans anyway when she puts so much effort into destroying the kid Underground lol. She doesn't take Sans' words seriously, he is always a little weird.

Undertale Alphys - She quickly looks down and pretends she didn't hear any of this. She is closer to Sans than most people think and she knows it wasn't words he said only to scare them. He was thinking each of these words. She saw him hesitate on the cameras at the entrance of Snowdin, as he followed you. She saw him hesitate several other times through your journey. Sans didn't attack you only because he's one of the most empathetic monsters she knows, and he cares deeply and grew attached. A lot more than what people think. Everyone sees Papyrus' kindness because he's a lot more expressive, but Alphys knows that Sans raised him and that the apple never fall far from the tree. She can't say to Frisk that Sans wasn't serious, but she won't call him out either. When she needed help, Sans was always here for her, and she wants to be a good friend back and not call him out for his past actions.

Undertale Grillby - He's a little disturbed by Frisk's revelations, but not too surprised. Grillby has known Sans for a long time, but more importantly, he witnessed a lot of things Sans said when he was completely drunk. Grillby is one of the first who got concerned about Sans' evident depression and tendencies to sabotage himself. He talked with him a lot about this, trying to get him to find some help. But Sans is way too stubborn. So of course, when an opportunity to finally leave this hell showed up, the first thing Sans would think about was to take it and kill a child. Grillby is not sure if Sans would have done it. Oh, he definitely could have done it, Grillby knows he's stronger than he seems, I mean, have you tried to drag a drunk angry Sans home? But he also knows he would never have forgiven himself for this. He cares too much to be a cold-blooded murderer. That wouldn't have ended well for him, so he's glad he gave up that stupid project.

#undertale #sans #papyrus #toriel #undyne #alphys #grillby #undertale ask blog #undertale asks #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons

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aimfor-theheart · 3 months

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Hello!

If you're still accepting requests! Could I have Gojou Satoru + Flowershop AU?

Thank you!!!

hello dear!! <33 yes of course you can have gojo + flowerhsop au!! thank you for submitting!!

flowershop au

gojo x reader

cw: none. reader referred to as "girl" gojo is a menace.

∘₊✧───────────────────✧₊∘

the peace is broken by a chiming bell.

you pick your head up from the bouquet that you're arranging, hands gliding carefully along stems and soft petals. it's a beautiful bundle; summery and bright and fragrant.

gojo satoru waltzes in to your little shop with all the grandeur of a large, peacocking bird. he may as well be one among all the flowers.

"how's my favorite florist today?" he calls, sauntering up to your worktable and peering at the bouquet you're currently working on.

"gojo," you reply flatly, "need another apology bouquet?"

"you wound me—i'm not always sending out apologies, you know?"

"the last three were—"

"alright, alright, take it easy. you'd think you'd be sweeter since you work with these pretty flowers all day."

"what do you need today?" you ask instead of rising to his bait.

"i need something special," he says, leaning forward against your worktable. his eyes, blue as stars, peer over the edge of his dark glasses at you.

"oh? what's it this time? one month anniversary?" you tease, propping your chin in your hand to look at him.

"cheeky," he replies, "but no! not for a date at all, actually."

"oh? so no red roses this time, i suppose."

"no, no—i'm thinking something blue. light blue. and full—sorta classy? whats your most expensive flower?"

you snort at that, but press on, "do i get to know what this one is for? might help me make a decision."

he lets out a dejected sigh, shoulders falling. so dramatic.

"my mother's visiting." he says, "and she can be—a lot."

"apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"you're a brat." gojo says, "so mean to me. always with such an attitude."

you wave him off, "yeah, yeah, poor you—so you want something classy?"

he turns to really look at you, and it's just shy of serious, "need your best, blossom."

you roll your eyes at that stupid nickname, but let go of an irritated huff. an expelling of your annoyance. you return his gaze, sincere.

"you always get my best, gojo."

he smiles, a little sharp, just that flash of wild you catch in him from time to time that makes your stomach flip.

"atta girl—that's what i like to hear."

#thank you for submitting!#cielo chats!#cielo plays!

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thoughtfullyrainynightmare · 4 months

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A/N: This is a collab between myself and @loosesodamarble that we finished a couple days ago! I just got around to posting it ^^' It's for the 1.6k follows event from some weeks ago ^^ Caelum belongs to Erika, and Leonidas is mine

Summary: Caelum Roulacase, who is a later bloomer and has been in Spade to learn magic from King Yuno, is now back in Clover. But... he is dealing with some thoughts and a lot of emotions that he'd rather first get out, and discuss with someone else. And the best person he can think of for this purpose is Leonidas Vermillion. The two young men hit off a conversation and... perhaps start a new friendship Genre: General Pairing: Caelum & Leonidas Length: ~5.5k Contains: ...Philosophical discussion? Some manga references? It's very safe imo

And for a moment, Cal smirked with a kind of a huff, and looked up in what appeared to be amusement. Which it was. Since in that moment, Cal thought about how much the mannerism appeared as that of Leon's father.

An apple doesn't fall far from the tree, or how was it? He thought in passing before opening his mouth again.

"Is this seat taken?" He asked, gesturing to the other seat around the table.

Leon glanced at the seat, which was vacant. And it wasn't the only seat, or the only table, available outside. Or inside for that matter. Which in itself was telling.

But there was no reason to decline the request as he wasn't expecting anyone.

"No, you're free to join me," he nodded with a kind smile, which was returned with another nod. "Do you want to get something to drink first though?" He continued with a slight wonder.

But Cal let out a sigh while sitting down, and picked up the menu card on the table lazily. "Depends on what they have on offer."

The tone was tired, and more downbeat than one might have expected. Perhaps something was bothering him?

The two boys sat in silence for a moment as Caelum perused the menu.

"I, uh, suppose I should be saying 'welcome back'," Leon said while resting his hands on the table. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Caelum blinked in surprised and looked up at Leon with a half-hearted smile. "Oh. Yeah. And thanks."

This crossing of paths was made awkward not only by the fact that the boys weren't particularly close but also due to them not seeing each other in the last three years. Not for a lack of effort. Simply, Caelum hadn't been in Clover Kingdom whatsoever.

"I wasn't even aware you'd come back," Leon again broke the silence. "And here I thought I'd hear about it first from Dawn-"

"Ahahaha... That's the thing..." Caelum's laugh was clearly forced, making Leon pause and furrow his brow. He and Cal locked eyes, prompting Caelum's answer. "Dawn doesn't know I'm back. Right now, only my family and Uncle Langris have been told."

Leon nodded, not entirely sure what to say to that.

Leon kept quiet long enough for Caelum to wave over a server and put in a drink order for himself. When the server left, Caelum put his attention back on Leon.

"I was kinda hoping to talk to you first, actually," Caelum admitted. His fingers drummed against the table's surface. "'Cause I know we're not really buddies but I was kinda hoping someone would hear me out."

Leon raised a brow. "And that someone can't be Dawn?" Whatever could Cal be worried about? And what would it have to be for him to seek me out over Dawn of all people?

Looking at Caelum, there was a lack of warmth from the boy. They weren't close, but Leon recalled him usually being smiles and gentlemanly grace. But now, he was stiff and muted, like a dimmed light.

"No." He simply said, eyes down, and lacking of that very glimmer that he used to hold, which was only emphasized the blunt answer.

Leon leaned back in his chair, opting to make himself assume a more relaxed and open position, over that of questioning. "Well, in that case, I'd be happy to lend an ear," he stated, to which Caelum nodded.

And it almost felt as if in that nod, there was a thanx.

"So... You've spent time abroad too, right?"

Leon quirked an eyebrow and glanced to Cal for a moment, because it seemed almost as if a rhetorical question.

Cal knew that he was only half-Cloverian.

"Yes. I travel quite frequently, but most of the visits are short in nature. At least these days. Though it's a goal for me to spend some extended period of time back in Thea again, to know how it is to really live there. See the kind of insight to the country that you can't get from a short visit," he explained, factually, but in a rather casual manner.

And again Cal nodded, listening to the explanation. "How was it?" He asked, but before Leon could answer, he corrected himself. "I mean... I'm not looking for an explanation about what kind of a country that is, or the customs or the people or the..." he trailed off, his voice fading in the slightest as the words kept pouring out of him.

After which, he sighed, and rubbed the back of his head.

"I ... How was it to live there?" He spoke with a heavy tone, as if it had been an ordeal, whatever it is that he went through while in Spade. And granted that there were plenty of stories still in the air about Spade, the weight of the tone wasn't all too surprising.

"Caelum..." Leon said while leaning forward and placing his hand onto the table. "It doesn't sound like that is the question you'd like to ask from me."

Cal's lips parted for a moment, but as he was about to speak, the server brought him his drink.

"Thanks," Cal stated, and Leon nodded. After which, as the server left, there was a brief silence that hung over them.

A train of thought that was lost, perhaps. Or just words that would have jumbled together no matter what.

Until, finally, Cal sighed again. "It isn't," he admitted, and picked up his glass, taking a sip. "I just thought that someone who has been travelling could... maybe... I don't know, understand how I feel."

Leon let out a thoughtful hum. "Well... if we want to split hairs, I haven't been 'travelling' that much. I spend time between two countries. But if you want to talk to someone who has been travelling, I can direct you to my mother."

Cal let out an amused scoff as a reply.

"You didn't just visit, or travel, to Spade," Leon pointed out. "You lived there for an extended period of time. And... I can't imagine how anxiety inducing that must've been."

A look of recognition, perhaps awareness was the better word, flickered across Cal's face before he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"It was rough at times but I wouldn't say 'anxiety-inducing'," Cal said.

"Come now, you don't have to downplay any of your troubles. You shouldn't be, really." Leon smiled at Cal, his eyebrows raised, making his expression and words a bit more inviting to his companion. "Cal, you said you wanted to talk to me and now you're closing up?"

"Hm. Aha... Caught me," laughed Cal. While he smiled, it still wasn't full. But a hesitance and tension seemed to ease from Cal. "I don't want to look back on my experience as negative. But there was just... a lot. The Grinberryalls are good people and they took care of me, but it always felt awkward because they're family friends of family friends and, well, just hearing it, it sounds-"

Leon nodded, chuckling despite himself. "The degrees of separation felt like too much. And perhaps you felt like you were taking advantage of a flimsy connection?"

"Y-yeah!" Cal's face colored up to a rosy pink. "I think everyone in Spade got sick of hearing me say 'I don't know the royals directly but my parents are coworkers with the king's foster brother'... But it was all I had."

Leon laughed again. It was amusingly familiar.

Someone reaching to establish a connection and reap its benefits was nothing new in the realm of nobility. Son of Whichever Family. Heir to Whatever Title. People wanted to justify getting a chance to interact with someone, no matter how tenuous the link might be. In Leon's experience, though, people rarely showed shame when attempting to appeal to his parents or Leon himself. Folks usually behaved entitled to what they desired.

But Cal felt shame for grasping at the thin thread that gave him a chance to speak with King Yuno. Not that Leon blamed Cal. Sometimes, even the best people had to stoop to uncomfortable levels to achieve their goals.

"Hm... If you ask me, I think you don't need to be so ashamed of the opportunity you were granted," remarked Leon. "You're humble enough to admit that your connection to King Yuno isn't strong but you didn't have any ulterior motives, unlike some. To be perfectly frank, I don't think he would've taken you in if he believed your intentions weren't pure."

"Really?"

"Without a doubt." Leon sipped from his drink.

Cal stayed quiet for a moment, just thinking about it.

Sure, King Yuno had an... unusual background to say the least, and was someone who didn't take the suck-ups seriously in the slightest. Not that a lot of the higher ups did, but where King Yuno differed, was that he didn't entertain the gestures or attempts, or take advantage of the gold-digger behaviour. Which... by extension also meant that he, at least, didn't think so about him.

"I... suppose you're right" Caelum admitted with a faint, relieved smile.

"And... in case it becomes a talking point," Leon continued in a rather casual manner, because it seemed within reason. "I don't think anyone here thinks that you were trying to take an advantage of the loose connection either."

"Well... here people know me," Cal stated. "I wasn't exactly ... well, hoping for them to have forgotten who I am."

"And they haven't."

"It's just that I was reminded of it so often while in Spade."

"I get it."

There was another silence that settled into the air, as the two sipped their drinks. The world went by. People had errands to run, or they were just enjoying the weather, same as them.

"Is that what you were so worried about?" Leon inquired, glancing to Cal from the corner of his eye.

"I... suppose.." Cal rubbed the back of his head. "It's... as said, I was reminded so often about seeming like I was just... a gold-digger that it... I'm just..." he trailed off for a moment, and looked back into his glass, as his mind settled into a sea of static.

"You wanted to be reminded that you're a good person, with well grounded morals and ideals and wouldn't take a advantage of a person like that?"

"...Something like that," Cal chuckled.

Which was replied with a chuckle from Leon too.

"Dawn could easily have told you that," he noted. Which was true. Dawn would have given him the same reassurance. Though maybe it would have been coupled with something more in addition.

"Yeeahh..." he uttered, smiling a little bit. "But it's different," he tried to argue. "When you have someone who has been in the same place and situation, or at least similar, then... there's... you get a better educated response and opinion than from someone who hasn't been in your shoes."

"Hmmm..." Leon hummed while trying to choose what to say, because there were a few replies that he could give. "Well... to be perfectly fair, I haven't exactly been 'in your shoes' since my situation is different from yours," he argued. "Because when I go cak to Thea, I stay with my grandparents. Who I know well, and there is no question of lineage or trying to take an advantage of them because... they are my grandparents. So, what would they say? That I can't visit them? That it would be unreasonable for me to visit people within close family?" He paused for a while, looking at Cal. "If anything, I think you had it more difficult, and had more ... opportunities to rise to the occasion."

"Man, I wouldn't call what I did 'rising,'" Cal said through his laughter. "More like I was scrambling to... not even keep up but to catch up to my peers. And I was trying to prove that I wasn't wasting King Yuno's time."

The ending of the statement carried a weight, an insight to Cal's anxiety.

"Mhm. Well if that's how you're thinking of it, then do you think you accomplished your goal?" Leon questioned. "Catching up and spending the time well?" He gazed at Cal expectantly.

"Well..."

Cal raised his hand and a concentrated sphere of light formed over his palm. It was a basic seeming spell. But for Caelum, who had been unable to output a fizzle of magic for 12 years, it was a testament to his newfound strength. Cal looked upon the star-like sphere above his hand and beamed.

"Yeah, I do think so. I trained as hard as I could and did my best to focus on what I was there to do." Caelum closed his hand, extinguishing the light in a smooth motion. "Wasn't easy though. It felt... really weird. Like everyone was watching me but also ignoring me because my circumstances were weird and I was an outsider."

Cal opened and closed his hand a couple times before locking eyes with Leon.

"Do you ever..." Cal's eyes narrowed and his nose scrunched up, as he seemed to weigh his words. "Is it like that for you?"

Leon blinked at the sudden shift. Sure Caelum had been able to talk out what had been weighing on him but turning the attention to Leon in the midst of the conversation felt like whiplash.

"Is it like what?" Leon asked.

"I know you said that you have an easier time visiting Thea 'cause of family but... is it still kinda like my situation?" Cal said. "Do you both get noticed and get neglected because of what makes you different from the rest of Theans when you visit?"

Leon let out a long "oooh..." then pursed his lips, considering the question.

Leon wasn't a total stranger to Thea the way Cal was to Spade. But he wasn't entirely belonging either. That was true.

Leon sat back in his seat and intwined his fingers loosely onto his lap in thought. "I never thought about it, really," he admits. "Because... I think that wherever you go, there will be people who'll ignore you, and some who pay attention to you. That's just how humans are."

"But that's not what we're talking about," Cal interrupted, making Leon nod.

"Which is why I think I can relate to the feeling," he admitted. "I'm... not full Cloverian, and I'm not full blown Thean either; I have components of both." He paused for a while, thinking about what to say.

And after a little bit of pondering, he sighed. "Here, though they didn't downright say it to my face, after most people of my age got their grimoires, I was considered 'left behind', because I didn't have one," he stated while manifesting out his grimoire.

Its red surface glimmered in the sun, and its golden design danced around the surface, as if streams of fire and light. And the way it floated around in the air, as if pulsating with fire and light and pure warmth, was... strange. Not unpleasant, but strange. While it held something comforting and familiar, something else about it felt foreign and wild.

"I took my time crafting this," he finally said while looking at the grimoire. But closed his eyes, and dispelled the book of spells, just as quickly as he had manifested it. "Which is why here, I was considered ... weak-er, among other things. Or defective, I suppose," he uttered. "And when I'm in Thea..." he sighed, "while, again, people don't say it to my face, they see me as weaker because of my paternal lineage."

Cal frowned at the words, which earned a glance from Leon.

"It's... complicated," he only explained. "But umm... the thing is that my paternal lineage also makes my mana more secure and grounded, and inhibits mana depletion. Which is a merit."

"And you're not... bothered by any of it?" Cal asked, careful and silently, as if under his breath.

"Well... as said, my family is supportive of it. And... having comparatively more secure mana is hardly something to be sorry for," Leon half joked. "But, there is a long answer to the question, which I've already started," he chuckled apologetically. "While the short answer is: They ignore and notice what they want to notice."

Cal groaned, "I guess you're right..." He tilted his head to the side as he sighed, causing the fringe of his hair to fall in his face. "And to think you have to deal with that here in Clover and Thea."

"Unfortunately, yes. But at this point, I'm largely used to it." Leon lazily waved a hand through the air.

As sad as it was to think, Leon and his sisters would never truly "belong" in one place. With one people. Their births. Their magics. Themselves as people. They were distinct from other citizens of both the Queendom of Thea and the Kingdom of Clover, being both but neither at the same time. While they could understand the parts of themselves that came from either nation, such as the grimoire Leon crafted in line with Thean tradition, the children of House Vermillion still had so much of themselves to determine because of what set them apart thanks to the circumstances of their births.

Leon understood that all people had to define themselves beyond their bloodlines. But it felt particularly pressing for himself, Cyra, and Nora...

"Y'know..." Cal's voice brought Leon back to reality. "It's strange to think that even with multiple kingd-" Cal caught himself and raised a finger. "With multiple nations working together, the citizens are still kinda sorta looking down on each other. Not totally but a judgey-ish thing..."

"Mm, yes, there is a condescending-ish-ness sometimes."

To Leon's response, Cal let out a short burst of a laugh. It wasn't impossible for Leon to loosen up, the pun battles he had with Alistar were proof enough. But hearing the prince take on a similar speaking mannerism as him tickled something in Cal. He felt a pang of regret not being able to befriend him sooner or more deeply. But, he thought with the optimism taught to him by his parents, that it wasn't too late to start befriending Leon in the present.

"Call it national pride or perhaps cultures being slow to accept and integrate," Leon said. His tone was light but his lips were pulled into a thin frown of disapproval. "But we can't deny that relations are much friendlier than before."

"Hooo yeah!" Cal full on cackled and threw his head back. "Twenty years ago, the only thing I could've learned in Spade was how dungeons looked and smelled. Still..." He shook his head. "Life's being kinda unfair to a guy like you. Since you're stuck in the middle. Sorta kinda..."

"Unfortunately, yes. Though I feel honored to know you see it as an injustice towards me," Leon remarked with a light tone and touched a hand to his heart.

"Hey, I'm only telling the truth," said Cal as he brushed his hair back and tucked the strands behind his ear. "A guy as knightly as you doesn’t deserve to be looked down on, Leon. And you being so amazing is probably why Dusk is always trying to visit House Vermillion, to learn a thing or two from you."

Leon's lips twitched for a second.

"That'd be flattering..." Leon spoke under his breath while Cal took a long swig of his drink. "But I don't believe that to be the case..."

Cal's cup hit the table with a faint thunk.

"What was that?"

"Even if that were the case, I shouldn't let the opinion of others distract me. Be it negative or positive evaluations," Leon said, gracefully dancing around the implied topic that wasn't his or Cal’s to comment on. "What truly matters is fulfilling what you seek to accomplish. Whether that's crafting a grimoire." Leon gestured to himself. "Or taking a crash course in how to use magic." He gestured to Cal. "And as we've both shown, our goals have been reached."

Cal stared ahead of himself, thinking about his experiences. Thinking about the lessons he got, and the ones that he didn't... quite yet understand. And frowned. "Shouldn't..." he hesitated while leaning forward, and supporting himself with his elbows. "Shouldn't there be a feeling of accomplishment then?"

Leon let out a hum, lifted his chin and stared to the side, to the city streets with a directionless gaze. "I suppose how grand of an emotion are you expecting," he just said.

"What do you mean?" Cal asked, hoping for a clarification.

"Like..." Leon uttered with a faint frown, thinking about how to formulate the idea into words. "You did accomplish something, while in Spade. You became more familiar with your magic, right?"

"Yeah," Cal replied, but it was lacking in confidence, and was laced with frustration. Because his... accomplishments were basically in getting to the level that was expected of someone of his age. Which most wouldn't deem as an accomplishment.

It would be seen as the bare minimum.

"And... are you not proud of what you did?"

"I think it was necessary for me to do, if I want to get anywhere in life," Cal half admitted, half stated. Because there was an honest truth in it too. In this world, you still needed magic, of some kind, in order to get anywhere. I don't want to be a burden to those around me...

"That isn't what I asked," Leon gave Cal a kind smile, but earned a kind of a frown from the other young man, who was now looking to the side. "Because I think that... if you wouldn't have wanted to make something out of yourself, you would have stayed. You're choosing to be a better knight, and a mage. Which in itself is an accomplishment."

Cal just listened, in silence. Partly because he didn't exactly know how to reply, and partly because he wanted to hear where Leon was going with this.

"Sure it might have taken a bit longer for you to gather the tools you need," Leon shrugged. "But because you've worked to earn the place you're in now, you know that you can do much more. And you have that... ability and determination to continue from there."

Cal listened, while realizing that Leon hadn't actually replied the original question about feeling accomplished.

"You're hungry for me," Leon commented. "You aren't... fully satisfied, or have this ... grand sense of accomplishment, because you recognize how much further you can go."

Caelum stared at Leon as the other boy as his words sank into his mind.

He's unsatisfied because he knows there's further he can go. That was the truth of it all.

For so long, Cal felt like he'd been trailing behind those around him.

Socially, he was behind someone like Dawn who would be the one to break the ice with strangers whereas he waited for someone to introduce themselves first.

When it came to academics, Silver Adlai eclipsed Cal, being an effortless genius who had skipped grades twice.

Leon was well-mannered and good-humored, making him adored by nobility and the lower classes, which anyone, not just Cal, could be jealous of.

Alistar garnered admirers from a young age thanks not only to his good looks but his exceptionally strong magic.

And then the one who Cal was behind the most: his younger brother Raphael. Raphael had the coveted Spatial Magic that came from the Vaude bloodline. It had the ferocity of Langris offensive spells. And the precision of their father Finral's teleportation spells. And he showed so much potential long before Cal ever performed his first spell.

Cal loved his brother dearly. He adored his friends. And admired those he wasn't as close with.

But his anxiety over his abilities, specifically his magic did come from seeing how easily it came to others. While he was busy grasping the basics, others were strengthening and refining their abilities. What he learned in Spade was indeed valuable and helped his grow. But his step forward wasn't nearly large enough to close the gap between himself and his peers.

Cal saw those around him. And he knew he still had a ways to go with his own powers.

For that reason, seeing that he still lacked in comparison to others, Cal's accomplishment felt so weak.

"So am I...?" Cal grit his teeth. "Will I never truly feel accomplished? Is that my fate, Leon?"

Leon gave Cal another compassionate smile, which quickly turned into one of amusement.

"Y'know, I asked something similar from my father not too long ago," he chuckled. "I don't remember the exact wording of my question but... I remember what he talked about in his reply."

Cal stayed silent. There was a kind of an anticipation in him. But it was tangled with something that ached to defeat.

Hell, he had just gotten started and he felt like giving up already? Was that really what all that work added up to? It was almost enough to make him laugh in his grief.

"His reply... He asked from me, how... I thought he felt when he became the Wizard King."

There was a pause... during which Cal frowned.

"How... it felt to become a Wizard King?" Cal repeated, as if wanting to makes sure he had hear it right.

To which Leon nodded. "I didn't have a reply either," Leon glanced at Cal with a smirk. "But then he went on to talk about how... that place, that profession... He told me that he remembers standing in that office for the first time after the official 'coronation', and how he just looked around the room like... 'this is it. I have come as far as I intended. This was the goal, the dream.'"

There was another pause, during which the two young men around the table, didn't exchange looks. Instead, their eyes were down to the depths of the table, or the pavement beneath their feet.

"To him... growth had been one... important thing. As long as you can grow, and decide to do so, there's a way forward. That is what drives him. But when he stood there, he had reached an end of the road."

Cal felt like he knew the feeling. What Leon was describing.

"There was no grand feeling of victory."

Cal's eyes closed.

That was it. That was the feeling.

"And then he talked about how... he remembers my mother entering the room and asking how he felt. If he was happy? Satisfied?"

Cal's eyes opened, back into the void in the table.

"He didn't answer," Leon commented with a half of a joke, which was delivered with a kind of a grin. "But he told me that mother knew, and said that... He had ran out of titles. Merits that can be given as medals and diplomas. But that... didn't mean that growth needs to stop. That... there were once mages who didn't have those titles and certificates and medals, but... they continued forward all on their own. That growth never ceases, unless you choose it to end."

This was again a long route to the answer to the question that had been asked. Cal didn't mind. Actually, he thought that he preferred, in these kinds of discussions, the long answer.

"And he could look back all the accomplishments that he had achieved. He could be proud about all of them. Take a breather. But in the end he would continue forward."

Cal's eyes flickered.

"So... there are senses of accomplishment. But they're not these grand end points. They're middle steps. Because... stopping the journey would make life awfully dull."

Cal closed his eyes, tapped his fingers against his cup, and sighed. It wasn't a melancholic sigh though. His anxiety, though not entirely washed away, had ebbed like a river. There was relief in that soft exhale. A sense of understanding and calm that came with hearing how even a great man like Fuegoleon was faced with a problem not too different from Cal's own.

"Weird. You say something that should be taken as a definitive answer and yet I can't help but feel like it's another question."

"And what would that question be?" Leon asked.

"'What comes next'." Cal answered. "We can grow and learn and accomplish. But then we can still ask 'what else can I do?'"

"Hm!" Leon seemed to perk up at the reply. "Not a bad way to see it. So long as you don't ask it with too much anxiety."

Cal nodded in agreement before his eyes drifted to the sky.

The heavens, for which he was named, were partially cloudy that day. Spring was in full swing. Meaning...

"And what's next for me is my getting my grimoire," Cal said with a beaming grin.

"Mhm. A momentous occasion for you and our peers." Leon traced the rim of his cup which was now close to empty. "And after that, you'll be joining the Magic Knights?"

"If all goes well."

"For someone like you, there's not a doubt in my mind," Leon assured. He paused then touched his chin. "Well, maybe there is one doubt."

"Hm?" Cal raised a brow. "You worried for me, Leon?"

Leon's expression didn't give off a sense of worry though. There was a mirthful smile playing on his lips instead.

"Frankly, I don't know which squad you'll be joining. Pick the wrong one and you could be squad-ering your potential."

"... Snrk!" Cal slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Do you think your parents will have a cow if you don't join the Black Bulls?"

"Pfffff!"

"And don't worry about not joining my squad. We got the lion's share at last year's exam..."

Cal clamped his other hand over his mouth.

Leon chuckled to himself as Cal fought his laughter. While not his best material, it seemed to do the job of expelling the last remnants of Cal's tension.

There was a moment of an almost silence that fell between the two, as Cal tried to catch his breath, and Leon chuckled to himself under his breath. But at the end of it, Cal leaned back in his chair, the same as Leon, and they sipped their drinks.

Cal looked across the table, and thought about the reasons why he wanted to have this chat. Or a chat. More of an 'a chat' because he hadn't known what to expect. Not really anyways. And ... though the conversation had taken a lot of unexpected turns, it had been a good conversation. A very good conversation.

"Y'know... Leon?"

"Hm?"

"I ... wouldn't mind doing this again-, like... hang out," Cal rubbed the back of his neck. "And maybe talk about something less serious."

Leon let out an amused hum. "But in all seriousness..."

Cal gave him a look; eyebrows lifted, and chin lowered, almost as if to ask if Leon was being serious.

"I wouldn't mind either," he admitted with a small smirk.

"Maybe Dawn and I can come to the Crimson Lion Kings' headquarters some day, and Dusk can tag along to enjoy the good discussion," Cal suggested.

To which Leon hummed. Maybe one of these days his sister and Dusk would... either realize that they were in a relationship, or would make it official. He himself wasn't quite sure which one it was at the time but... it would sort itself out in some point. Things had a habit of falling into place like that, as long as one kept moving forward.

#black clover fanfiction #black clover oc fanfiction #caelum roulacase #leonidas vermillion #I had so much fun while doing this!!!

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