#“It's not supposed to be like this”
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Fic Rec - New Carraville!!!
absolute fucking instant classic Carraville. Amazing writing!!! Anon if you can hear this-- well done!!! I am IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
Gary glances up at him and there’s a flash of recognition in his eyes, like Jamie’s words have some double meaning that he’s just now understanding. (They don’t). Staring back into the bottom of his glass, he says: “No. I couldn’t. I just… belong to David. Always will.” It’s strange to hear Gary refer to him as David — Jamie thinks he’s only ever heard Victoria call him by that name, in oversaturated, sickly-sweet television interviews. “But,” Jamie says, like he’s grasping at straws, “Even if—” Gary cuts across him quietly. “Even if he doesn’t want me anymore.” His shrug is well-practised; it implies he’s resigned himself to this fact a long time ago. “That’s just how it is with him and me.” The pub is still chattering all around them, an old Stone Roses song playing so loud everyone has to half-shout to be heard, and Jamie is unbearably lonely. He knows quite acutely that he’s never been in love before, not like that. He has no fucking clue what to do with that information, that he’s only ever glimpsed the real thing once, in a moldy, low-lit stairwell at twenty-one years old. He feels as though something’s passed him by, something he never knew he wanted in the first place. So far behind him it’s already out of reach. All his life, Gary Neville has flaunted the fact that he only ever wanted one thing, that playing for United was the only dream. It was one of many things about him that rubbed Jamie the wrong way. And now, to learn he’s only ever wanted one person too… Jamie lets jealousy crash over him like a wave, even though he knows it’s misplaced. To have one dream instead of a drawerful, to be so pure and uncompromised— what must that be like? As though he can read Jamie’s mind, Gary says: “It’s not supposed to be like this. I love him, but it’s not supposed to be like this.” When he glances up, though, Gary’s not looking at him, and Jamie can see Gary didn’t say it for his sake.
#carraville#fic rec#“To have one dream instead of a drawerful--what must that be like?” WHAT A GORGEOUS LINE#Gary articulating Jamie's thoughts#but he's not even looking at or thinking of Jamie#what an amazing little 'show don't tell' moment to show Jamie's longing#unarticulated and unacknowledged and unrequited#absolutely magnificent#“It's not supposed to be like this”#GARY TALKING ABOUT DAVID BUT REALLY COULD BE JAMIE AND HIS UNREALISED LOVE FOR GARY#GUUUUUUHHHHHH#wonderful
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this
#and by 'everyone' i mean me. im just hoping other people relate lmao#someone asks me about a thing i like and im just like h..................#been thinking about The Character for a solid 6 months+ and let me tell you. expldoeing soon#this is about ffxv btw . how am i supposed to say how much it lives in my brain . i cant think#text#1k#5k#10k#15k#20k#great googly moogly#30k#40k#50k#60k#boooy what da heeel#70k#80k#90k#will this be my first ever post to hit 100k... it remains to be seen#good lord. we did it#100k
147K notes
·
View notes
Text
phenomenon
#milosartstuff#comic#meme#fandom#edit: this was supposed to be about how the fans treat eachother not what the fanworks are like#and if you were curious im mostly talking about the postal fandom for the latter
42K notes
·
View notes
Text
(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
20K notes
·
View notes
Text
The remorseful player
#deltarune#kris dreemurr#deltarune player#deltarune vessel#utdr#comics#goomyart#once again tumblr gets it early#my test group befor ei post on twitter#anyway#hi. different player interpretation here#i guess kind of inspired by like#people looking at my prev player stuff and saying ‘id never treat kris like that’#which isnt the point but like Whatevar#its not supposed to be entirely literal#so instead i present to you: the ‘good’ player that would never say those things to kris#and yes kris still cant bring themself to like you#Because you are controlling them. it doesnt matter how good of a job you do#lack of autonomy is everything.#without freedom what’s the point of it all?#‘why arent you happy? your prison cell is so nice!’
19K notes
·
View notes
Note
Is there beef with the Holstein cows and you or what was that joke lol
It's kind of wild It's just never come up on this blog before, but I HATE holsteins. Bottom 10 cow breeds for me. I hate how they're so common they account for the majority of milk produced. I hate that they're the "default" cow to the point where some don't even know cattle HAVE other colors. I hate their tiny horns (IF THEY EVEN HAVE THAT. LOSER ASS HORNLESS COW) and their painfully massive udders.
Legit I'm trying so hard to not launch into a No Mouth Must Scream style AM speech-- shoot my hand slipped.
(AM speech about why i dont like holsteins below the cut)
For starters, I have to give a brief lesson on what these terms mean; the "Holstein" is the American strain of the "Frisian" breed. Frisians are an ancient breed from Frisia, in the north of what we now consider the Netherlands. Crosses between the breeds are "Holstein-Frisians."
(There’s even more to this but im keeping it as simple as possible. Also one of my friends is Frisian and she is probably going to kill me for describing it like that.)
Historically, livestock was adapted to the environment they lived in. Frisians were bred by the Frisii people for hundreds of years in extremely grass-rich, lush, flat environments. The "polders" of the northern parts of the Netherlands. They're huge and eat a LOT of food.
Traditional Frisians were developed to produce as much meat and milk from a single individual as possible, without compromising the health of the cattle with constant inbreeding to get quick gains. We are talking about a breed that is over 2000 years old. They had the perfect environment to make The Ultimate Food Cow and by god they did it. I can respect that.
So, take that, drag it across an ocean to a place that does NOT have polders, and add the rapid enshittification of capitalism to it. BAM you've got a fucking holstein.
There is ONE goal for "improving" the holstein. Make More Milk. As long as the black and white milkbag leaks enough, nothing else matters. Health? Fertility? Feed ratio? Ability to not die of infection? WHO CARES. MILK LINE GO UP.
Over 90% of holsteins are inbred to start with, because Milk Line Go Up. To the tune of having an average COI of 8%-- where extreme negative effects (think Hapsburgs) start to crop up around 10%
Holstein bulls are aggressive bastards (many dairy bulls are), so no one wants to keep intact males in their herds, meaning most cows are artificially inseminated
Not being limited by the natural lifespan of a living bull means that the same stud can keep having direct offspring for decades after his death
Toystory the bull had 500,000 calves before he died, and hit over 1 million offspring in 2015. That's ONE animal and to put this in perspective, there are 9 million holsteins in the US.
DON'T WORRY IT GETS WORSE
Not only can 99% of holsteins be traced back to just two bulls-- 99% of male holsteins share one of two exact Y chromosomes with those two bulls.
The gene pool is so small that it's equivalent to about 60 individuals. Warrior Cat allegiances are larger than that. That's barely bigger than modern ThunderClan.
"Massive lack of genetic diversity" does not begin to capture the existential dread of this situation. Mark my words, WATCH, when the Bird Flu finally mutates a strain that rips through a mammalian population, it's gonna be in the USA and it's going to be through our dairy cattle.
This is not prophecy or me laying a curse on the land, this is the natural consequence of basing the stability of US milk production on the equivalent of 9 million clones of two classrooms worth of individuals, and then packing them in close quarters
And we don't have to wait for doomsday for the impacts to be apparent on the cattle themelves
Holstein fertility has also dropped by half since the 1960s when the intensive inbreeding really kicked into high gear
Because their whole body is dedicating all of their resources to milk production, they have a notoriously "bony" frame.
Show judges, however, like this because they think that's a very "feminine" look for a 1600 pound ruminant. Very normal thing to think.
Like. I don't know if i can communicate this to people who don't look at cows a lot (it's not quite as obviously dramatic as a pug skull) but here is a comparison of an "ideal" show holstein and an "unselected" holstein from a herd that's been established as a sort of "control group" for what they looked like back in the 1960s;


The way that the artery on the "modern" cow's belly runs to the udder like a big pink worm freaks me out the most ngl
The udder also bulges out from between the back legs
The show cow is so thin
And then compare these both to a Holstein-Frisian cross who leans more on the Frisian side;

Proper weight, developed legs. Its biggest "problem" is actually just the udder shape-- deep udders, which "hang" low like that, aren't optimal for milk-focused breeds because the higher away from the ground the less chance there is of infection. In that department, the "unselected" holstein clearly outclasses the holstein-frisian.
But it probably won't be surprising to hear that the "show holstein," with its massive, swollen udder, is SUPER prone to infections such as mastitis.
But it is also just more prone to getting sick generally
And, to keep up with these insane demands, holsteins need a TON of food. You aren't going to just turn these things out into a pasture and be done with it. Even its ancestor the Frisian needed premium Dutch polder grass to be such a good cow-- crank that up to 11 with these Monuments to Humanity's Hubrice
The Texas Longhorn developed in semi-feral conditions and can eat a bush to become the best thing in a 10 mile radius. The Scottish Highland was iron-forged in upland moors with a steady diet of turf and rain.
Meanwhile if a Holstein has less than 5 homemade meals a day without poland spring bottled water it will die to death.
And the WORST part? You have to use these if you want to make money in dairy farming. It's WAAY too expensive to just run a suboptimal farm. Their milk isn't great, but they sure do make a lot of it.
...so Holsteins and Holstein-Frisians (and other "super efficient" breeds) have absolutely decimated heritage cattle. The American Milking Devon is a deep reddish brown with gorgeous horns and low maintenance; rare. Randall Linebacks are painted with lines of white speckles down the back and can be used for any purpose; critically endangered. The Niata was a pug-faced cow who could fight jaguars; extinct.
And THAT'S what makes me hate them most of all. I LOVE cows, but whenever I see a reference to one, it's a holstein. It's always boring black and white splotches with big pink udders. They're practically synonymous with "cow" when their homogeniety is actually hiding much cooler breeds from you.
Did you know cows can be tiger-striped?

And that England has its own type of longhorn?
Or that cow horns can twist upwards like an antelope?

And that they can have REALLY LONG ears?

And that they can be blue?

And that's not even getting into some of the cows that have gotten a small crumb of attention lately, such as Highlands, Ankole-Watusi, and Texas Longhorns. There's so many cool cows out there! And they're all really different from holsteins! MOST of them are also a lot healthier and produce tastier milk and meat!
TL;DR yeah i don't like holsteins and I like sniping at them. For reasons both legit and petty.
#Not wc#Cows#Yeens and cows are my favorite animals btw#Cows my beloved#Again kinda interesting it just never really came up until now? But this is a cat blog I suppose#But yeah cows are one of my special interests and have been for like... 10 years now
22K notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes I think a lot about my mom's cat
My mom's cat is a common domestic shorthair we found on the side of the road as a kitten
Regular cat, not a maine coon or one of those massive breeds. His mom was smaller than a loaf of bread
But in a sort of a Clifford The Big Red Dog situation, he grew super fast, and really really big, and took a super long time to stop growing
Worried that she was overfeeding him, she eased back his portions, but he stayed a massive round baby
When he started having kidney problems, she took him to the vet.
The vet took a look at him and said, "holy fuck, what are you feeding him", checked the nutritional listings on his chow, and told her "Yeah, maybe he's reacting badly to the amount of grain in this, try a meatier diet"
So my mom wound up special-ordering this specific high-protein prescription cat food made of like. Kangaroo meat or some shit that cost like sixty bucks a bag
And, as typical act two in an episode of House, he somehow got worse on the fancy specialized stuff that was supposed to be Primo Athlete Olympic Feline Blend
Like. WAY worse. His guts were inflamed and his kidneys were shutting down and he was all sore and HE WAS STILL HUGE, just miserable and sad
So shetook him back to the vet, where they had to help him pee (he was apparently close to bursting and had some kind of blockage too) and went "Yeah no this is NOT normal and we don't know what's going on, we're gonna do some tests but in the meantime you should go back to what he was eating before, at least that wasn't actively killing him" so she did
And he still wasn't great, but he also improved
And so they take his blood and do an ultrasound and a couple g's later she gets a call back like "this is gonna sound crazy, but we want you to put him on a low-meat diet. Just the least amount of protein and iron and shit. We need you to find the grainiest, filler-iest dollar tree kibble available and give him some of that bad bad shit"
And my mother is a woman of science. So she did
And he GOT BETTER
His energy picked back up, inflammation went down, he started drinking normally again, got back to pissing like a fuckin champion
And so it turns out that out of all the random ass freeway bonus cats we possibly could have scooped out of a ditch, WE got the one-in-a-million freak of nature with a SPECIFIC genetic defect that means a paleo protein free range diet is essentially poison and he THRIVES on cheap ass garbage
Like. He medically NEEDS junk food
I dont really understand how that works, but i cant argue with results.
If we had four of him, they'd outweigh my mom. And he's FINE
Also blind, but that's unrelated
Im not using him as a symbol or a metaphor or anything. I just keep catching myself thinking about my mom's Big Fucking Cat
#I'm sorry#I feel like this is supposed to be some kind of message from the universe#Like maybe I'm the cat and the garbage food is. Something#But nope he just lives in my head rent free#The biggest fucking boy
30K notes
·
View notes
Text
diglett & dugtrio
#art#my art#pokemon#diglett#dugtrio#character design#I suppose!#they also look like swinub a little bit
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
Thunder and rain. Sun and Storm.
Finally got the motivation (mostly) to color some of my story planning comics for TROD AU. Have some little guys and a little lore :)
#trod au#the rehabilitation of death#narilamb#cult of the lamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#doodles#i am aware that the flower on narinders head is switching places a lot but i am far too tired to go in and fix that#since this was supposed to be sketches anyway#still not happy with it cause i started this so long ago that it has old art style pieces of it i dont like#but it was nice to color
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
Watching Star Wars in chronological order is so funny.
Obi-Wan Kenobi really took one look at R2D2 in the middle of the desert and said “No, Luke, I’ve never seen this fucking droid in my life. Looks like a real bitch though. Not that I’d know. This is my first time meeting the asshole.”
No one in that whole franchise was Gatekeep-Gasslight-Girlbossing quite like “Ben” Kenobi, regular human-man.
#star wars#obi wan kenobi#r2d2#luke skywalker#More like Regular Human Cave Hermit I suppose#and R2 didn’t even rat him out???#I’m almost positive that there was a moment off-screen where R2 and Obi-Wan were alone in the cave hovel#just absolutely glaring at each other silently while Luke was using the rest room or something#R2 probably whirled around that cave bitchily#like Danm bitch#you live like this?#so uncivilized#and Obi-Wan was like#actually I think I WILL go save Leia#but only so I can drop this useless bucket of bolts on Anakin Skywalkers fucking doorstep and dissapear into the force forever#Honestly#the real plot of A New Hope was Obi-Wan desperately trying to get rid of the world’s bitchiest R2 unit#that somehow managed to find him again after decades#R2 found where he was hiding and Obi-Wan was like:#Guess I’ll die then.
17K notes
·
View notes
Text
for whatever reason tumblr has flagged this post from a deleted blog as explicit so I can't even reblog it anymore which is a shame because it's one of my absolute favorites
33K notes
·
View notes
Text

The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart and all that
#jayvik#jayce talis#jayce x viktor#arcane jayce#viktor arcane#arcane#arcane fanart#art#illustration#digital art#fanart#comic#artists on tumblr#clip studio paint#csp#i saw both these screen shots at different times and they KILLED me#like HUH????#what was i supposed to do
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
pnf revival challenge day 13: Stacy!
Hosted by @howtonerdoutovereverything! ✨
Stacy girlie forgive me, having to rush your day out of them all felt like a huge crime, I’ll make it up to you, I prommie 😔 anyway ofc I made it a Stacy and Perry coffee hang out, I am who I am ncnjdhhmfm
#IM LIKE SUPPOSED TO WAKE UP SUPER EARLY TOMORROW CUZ IM GOING HIKING AND ITS ALREADY SO LATE CHFHJDD. pray for me tomorrow#I ALMOOOOST GAVE UP FOR TODAY LIKE AN HOUR AGO BUT I COULDNT GIVE YP ON STACY DAY#ANYWAY GOODNIGHT#kad draws#phineas and ferb#pnf#pnfrevivalchallenge#stacy hirano#perry the platypus#linda flynn fletcher#long post
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
we need to step away from viewing marriage as inherently romantic, or the primary goal of romance. marriage is a legal contract we use to create important ties--financial, medical, next-of-kin, mediating shared property and parental rights. the details vary a lot based on where you are and what paperwork you sign. which is not very romantic! but it does have many real-world effects on our ability to share our lives with our partners.
first and foremost, marriage is a legal right we use to build and protect our families, whatever that family may look like
#it's an important option for life partners to have! but we need to treat it more like a legal tool#and less like 'This Is What An Ideal Marriage Looks Like'#a marriage is a relationship and relationships vary a LOT#there's no one-size-fits-all#but BEING married is a legally defined thing. with (boring but important) legal benefits and consequences.#and the way we talk about it should reflect that#we need to stop treating it as 'marriage is the romantic ideal and also a milestone that people are just Supposed To Do'
16K notes
·
View notes
Text

Locked in because it reminded me of that one scene

happy late valentines 💜
#cookie run#cr kingdom#cookie run kingdom#cookierunkingdom#crk#crk fanart#crk art#pure vanilla cookie#cookie run fanart#shadow milk cookie#pure vanilla crk#pure vanilla fanart#shadow milk crk#shadow milk fanart#shadowvanilla#i mean if thats what u like go for it#supposed to be a blade runner reference#i drew this on the plane#art
19K notes
·
View notes
Text
superbat might not be everyone's cup of tea but you have to admit "person who wears glasses as their secret identity but doesn't need them" and "person who avoids wearing glasses until they absolutely have to" is a hilarious dynamic for a relationship.
#superbat#batman#bruce wayne#dc#clark kent#superman#stumbling out of a broom closet like fuck which one of us is supposed to be wearing these#clark: you#bruce: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
8K notes
·
View notes