#'so i have a tendency to have something upset me and just end up totally unable to change my mood'

[syekick-powers]

every time a medical professional of some sort tells me i have a high degree of self-awareness, it makes me have an external reaction of "thank you i try" and an internal reaction of "honestly i think having as high a level of self-awareness as i do is at least a quarter of why i'm so miserable. :')"

[januaryembrs]

ahhh can I ask for a drabble for sunshine reader x Spence when they're out with the team at a bar or something and reader is obviously a clingy and giggly drunk?

MY BABY'S SWEET AS CAN BE | Spencer Reid x Sunshine!Reader

description: Spencer's girlfriend loves karaoke when she's drunk, but she loves him even more

length: 1k

warnings: literally just fluff

He smiled at her unabashedly as she flitted through the crowd, the top of her head bobbing in between other patrons as she shoved through the sea of bodies, and he heard the odd “Excuse me, oh I’m so sorry, excuse me, Sorry-scuse me,” which let him know the mop of hair with two little bows in it was exactly who he thought it was. 

Not that he’d need to try hard to find her, his eyes hadn’t left her all evening. She had a tendency to get upset if they got parted when she’d had a couple to drink, and he hated the look she got on her face when she welled up and felt sorry for herself. 

She burst out the throng, her eyes quickly scanning across the group, and Emily barely had time to hand her a Frozen Daiquiri before she’d launched herself where Spencer leaned against the bar.

“Honey! Oh, I missed you so much,” She said, immediately homing into his waist, her ear pressing against his chest where his heart beat particularly loudly, because whatever affectionate streak she carried on a day to day basis was dialled to one million when she got like this. 

“Baby, I saw you five minutes ago,” He chuckled, wrapping an arm around her nevertheless and running his large, warm hand down her spine where her backless dress gave him free rein to feel everything. 

She looked up at him with an aghast stare, “You didn’t miss me, too?” 

“Oh, I never said that, now did I?” Spencer asked, his words sweetened with his smile, and adoration stained every single syllable like coffee over clean breath, “Did you have fun?” 

She giggled, leaning to steal a quick kiss, and her hand brushed over his stomach to pinch the soft pouch of fat gently, “I did! Did you see me, I totally outsang Luke,” 

“For the last time; karaoke is not a contest, we’re supposed to be singing together,” Luke said, his forehead sweaty where he’d pushed through the crowd himself trying to keep up with her as she’d bolted off the stage to get back to her spot tucked under Spencer’s arm. 

She stuck her tongue out at him, rolling her eyes when he gave her a more obscene gesture, and turned back to where Spencer had yet to rip his eyes off her, his pupils dopey and wide and full of puppy love as she looked at him. 

“He’s just mad becaus he wanted to sing Beyonce’s part, and I made him be Shakira,” She said on chuckled breath, “But I think our cover of Beautiful Liar could top charts, like, nationally,”

“Ofcourse, I reckon you could go global if we got you a good agent,” He humoured her, and her eyes lit up with glee, bouncing on the balls of her feet to the point he almost spilled his beer. But he didn’t care, he just loved seeing her so happy. 

“Really! Really, really?” She asked, quickly stealing another adoring kiss from his lips like she could only go so long before she needed another one to fuel her words, like she didn’t even realise she was doing it as there was little to no pause in her end of the conversation. 

“Well, sure,” He said, his mouth interrupted when she pecked him again, and he wondered if she genuinely understood they couldn't kiss and talk at the same time with the way she was going, “But, if my sweet girlfriend becomes a popstar sensation overnight, who’s going to be there when I want to do this?” He said, wrapping an arm around her waist, his fingertips caressing the dip of her back, already knowing which moles sat beneath his touch and where, as he gave her a real kiss, one that made her squeak a little and the sound of it forced an even bigger smile out of him. 

He parted from her reluctantly, and he didn’t even care that he usually didn’t like PDA all too much if it meant she would look so content and glowing, her eyes creasing as she sighed with a besotted expression. Spencer never thought he would get so lucky to have anyone look at him like that, never mind someone who he loved with his whole entire being, and everything else left of him. 

“You raise a good point, my genius love,” She said, pressing her burning face into his sternum, her hands still never leaving where they’d buried into his waist, “I guess I’ll put my debut album on hold and stay to kiss you some more,” 

“Will you guys stop being so disgustingly sweet, it’s making my punch taste sour,” Penelope said, even though the team didn’t seem to mind their soppy exchanges. Spencer sometimes seemed like his old self again when he was with her, something boyish and teasing and loving returning back to his rough hands and exhausted expression, and for that the two of them could rip each other's clothes off for all they cared. 

Because they were one of those couples that made everyone else feel lucky to just see that kind of love so close, not envious or repellent, like finding a fawn sleeping on your doorstep. It was rare and pure and warmed everyone right through to their marrow. 

The two of them smiled at one another, and she leaned in to steal a few more kisses from his lips that tasted faintly of beer, only for another song to start playing and she gasped, her mouth dropping in excitement. 

“I love ABBA, we have to sing this song together!” She said, lacing her fingers with his and tugging his stubborn, lithe figure over to the stage, “Please, Spencer, please, please, please,” 

And he gave her exactly what she wanted, because when could he ever say no to a face like that. 

[ddejavvu]

omg part two for hotch scrolling through your ig pretty please 😭😭 like IMAGINE penelope gathering the rest of the gang so they can collectively stalk your instagram and she accidentally likes one of your pictures while lurking

Penelope isn't often scared of Hotch, because the man has a soft spot for her, and she knows it. But now he's staring at her with a stern glare, something she's not usually on the receiving end of. She shifts on her heels, strangely speechless.

"Sir? Is everything okay?"

He lets her suffer in silence for a moment longer, then gestures towards his phone face-up on the desk. It's lit up with a text notification, and she faintly recognizes the name that it's attached to.

Y/N Y/L/N: Isn't this your computer whiz?

"Open it." Hotch instructs, his voice unfailingly calm, which sets Penelope even further on edge. She reaches out with a trembling finger to tap on the notification and it opens your thread, the screen entirely consumed with a screenshot you'd taken of your instagram. Sure enough, in your notifications page is a note: baby_girl_penny_g liked your photo.

"Um," Penelope stalls, and despite her rampant creativity, she can't bring herself to fib, "Well, I- the tags were-"

"There were no hashtags," Hotch stops her in her tracks, "The only way you could have found that photo was on her profile. How long ago was that posted?"

Penelope scrolls to the bottom of the post even though she doesn't want to, and mutters "2018."

"Five years ago. Five-" Hotch steels himself before he gets too upset, pinching the slim bridge of his nose, "Garcia, did Morgan tell you about this?"

"it wasn't his fault," She pleads his case, "I could tell there was something on his mind! So I got him, like, super drunk, and we-"

"Penelope, this was none of your business." Hotch speaks over her. He doesn't like cutting her off, but he knows her, and she'll talk for hours just to try and weasel her way back into his good graces. He watches her squirm with a stern expression, hands folded on his desk while he clenches his jaw.

"I won't tell anyone else." She promises weakly, and Aaron raises a single eyebrow at her. Secret-keeping is not her forte, and they both know it.

"Okay, so-" She crumples, "I- I totally will. But Hotch, we're gonna be happy for you! I'm already happy for you, you deserve this! You deserve love, even if you try to use this job as an excuse not to find it! You found it, and you should own it."

"I purposefully did not share the status of my relationship with our team. It was meant to be private."

Penelope regains some of her boldness now, even in the face of Hotch's scowl, "Well tough shit, Hotchner! We love you, and we were all there when you lost Haley! We watched you die inside, and we deserve to watch you live again! We are part of your family, Hotch, whether you like it or not, and we're not gonna walk away just because you get snippy with us! So help me, Hotch, I will handcuff myself to you until you realize that we are here. We are here, and we love you, and we always will! You can tell us about your life, because we want to enjoy it with you."

Perhaps she shouldn't have been so forward. Perhaps she shouldn't have said the H-word, or brought up Hotch's infuriating tendency to distrust people's care for him not out of malice, but out of self-loathing. Perhaps she should have hung her head and apologized, but Penelope Garcia is headstrong, and she does not fear the tense wrath of Aaron Hotchner simply for loving him.

For a moment, she worries that she's flaunted a red cape around a bull. Reid's words echo in her mind about how it's nothing to do with the color red, and everything to do with the movement of the fabric, but now is not the time, Doctor Reid, thank you very much. She waits for him to charge, knows he'll withdraw now that she's faced him with the terror of being known, of being cared for, and she can feel her heart sink to the nearly-numb heels of her feet.

Then something in his jaw shifts, and he glances away from her, blinking.

"Thank you." He murmurs, and she thinks she may have heard him wrong.

"What?" She whispers, and he gnaws at the inside of his cheek, caving it in.

"Thank you. For being firm with me." He clarifies, "I... I'm glad that you're here."

Tears spring to her eyes and she nods vigorously, incapable of speech but overflowing with emotion. He swallows, clearing his throat, "In the future, please do not stalk my romantic partners. And... in the future, I will introduce you, so that you don't need to stalk them."

"Okay," She grins through her misty eyes, letting him steer the conversation back towards his comfort zone, "Okay, Hotch. We love you. And- and we're really happy for you, and can I please go and tell the others?"

He laughs despite himself, and doesn't bother steeling himself into composure anymore. He grins, "Fine. But leave out the details of her most recent posts, please."

"The ones where she talks about being sore in the mornings?" She fixes him with a devious grin, already making for the door intent on shouting the news from the rooftops, "I won't say it in the bullpen, 'cause Reid couldn't handle it, but I'm totally gossiping with the girls about it, Hotch."

[pikahlua]

Not the same anon, but there was a thread on X summarizing problems with this chapter and how rushed it feels. I think these are pretty valid criticism if I am being honest. [link removed] I really love MHA and I want to enjoy this epilogue, but I really do feel like it is being rushed in some places.

I resubmitted this ask to remove the link. I'm not interested in sending critics flying at someone I disagree with.

The link you provided is for a criticism that is precisely the sort of commentary my blog exists to correct. Why are you guys judging the story based on a bad fan translation??? Is that really what the issue is here? If you're feeling like a chapter is rushed based on Rukasu's rushed summaries or my own disjointed, unnatural-sounding translations or the fan translations that just push along with awkward translations they clearly don't research that well, yeah, I bet it does seem pretty rushed.

Fan translation (left) vs official translation (right)

Some differences are stark and some subtle, but they all lead to totally different readings!

And as for this criticism:

And while I get what Horikoshi was trying to communicate here, the execution is just... Absolutely tone deaf

I don't understand how anyone could say something like they know what the author intended in good faith when they KNOW they're reading a fan translation.

Starting with the 1st page: now, I get Horikoshi is trying to this monologue more for the audience to highlight Uraraka's self sacrificial tendencies similar to Izuku in order to explain her behavior and showcase her flaws. [...] Because, in universe, Uraraka is breaking down with guilt and grief over someone she finally reached/understood sacrificing her life for her, something only SHE knows, and Izuku shows up, ignoring what's going on, and starts "explaining" her flaws and HIS feelings about it all. [...] Now, again, I understand that Hori is trying to communicate to the audience that Izuku has realized Uraraka's flaws and struggles and is deciding to become her support instead.

This reading completely ignores the fact that Ochako doesn't want to open up. Izuku is trying to convince her to! That's what's happening in this scene! He's not "ignoring" what happened with Toga--because he doesn't even know what happened! That's part of why Ochako is so upset!

I've explained before how the western fandom has a bad reading on these so-called self-sacrificial "flaws" Izuku and now ostensibly Ochako have. This is not the first time a character has realized they relied too much on another person's strength and let that person shoulder their burdens alone. All Might acknowledged the same thing with Katsuki after DvK2. I do not think what Izuku is doing here is "explaining her flaws and HIS feelings about it all." My reading of this scene is based on their conversation after she lost to Katsuki in the sports festival. He's saying the same stuff she said to him back to her. He's talking about HIS OWN flaws. He's saying "You are my hero, the way you've been since the beginning is heroic, I admire you, when you're hurting I'll protect you just like you protected me, I won't be a burden by relying on your strength to get you through and letting you handle your pain alone anymore, I'll pull my own weight and be here for you now that you need me, it will be easier to shoulder the pain together." That last part is coming from her UA speech, of course, and I don't know how it could be more relevant to addressing Ochako's pain. "Please open up to me, just like you encouraged me to do." That's what he's saying!

Now, the other criticism this person levies is that using Izuku as a vehicle of exposition is clunky. I don't disagree, but the thing is...this isn't new. This isn't unique to the ending. He's been like this really since chapter 1. I've criticized this before. This isn't a sudden change that makes the ending feel any more rushed than any other part of the story. To focus on this just feels like an attempt by the critic to FIND something to criticize.

I do think there is an emotional reaction at play in the fandom's general response here, but I'm not convinced that the criticism I've been reading actually gets to the heart of what's upsetting people. Something IS upsetting people. Is it BAD WRITING? I'm not sure. In some (not all) cases it seems to be a bad reaction to tragedy or anticlimax. I do also think there are people who have convinced themselves such and such will be addressed, that these two characters will talk about X, etc. etc. and they're panicking that there may not be any space allotted for that in the end, and that's why they feel things are being "rushed." I certainly have some criticisms I could levy at the ending, but I'd like to wait until the ending (the OFFICIAL ending) before I put them on the record.

The thing is, in the end, "what Horikoshi was trying to do" is entirely irrelevant to the final product. If all we do is just argue over what we each think Horikoshi was trying to do, we'll get no where. This was hammered into me in my education, that what an author intended is useless to literary analysis. When I find something in a story that doesn't make sense to me, I take a step back and try to figure out what reading does make it make sense. Sometimes I have to ask others their opinions to puzzle it out. I do appreciate that you sent me this criticism, but I am not yet convinced the fandom has truly identified any concrete issues with the actual writing of the ending as of now. I'm not saying the ending is perfect, just that the problems I see with the ending are very different from what the fandom so far keeps talking about.

[another-day]

its time for to review something i’ve been waiting for for four years now

finally, i am very happy to say, we have EPISODE IN REVIEW for the fresh new episode of SEASON TWO EPISODE 15!!!!

spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched it already!!!!

i feel like i knew where this episode was going from the start, but we’ll get there ;]

first off; taco was such an interesting character in this episode, and i’m really glad they took the time to flesh her out!!!

obviously yeah she has a whole song about her desires and all, but even through dialogue and interactions she is taken care of very well and i really appreciate that!!

her desires are still humanised even though she’s the anti-hero of the season, and i think it really shows you that she was a contestant too at one point, and she had a negative experience with the show. does this mean i don’t think she was totally manipulating the final four? not in the slightest, but its still peculiar.

this time skip had me a little confused, because from paintbrush’s statement in regard to lightbulb “missing a lot”, one can assume that season three already ended

i’m hoping this’ll be explained at some point but i’m just confused!!!

i could essentially guarantee she was going to be eliminated from this line alone, probably by her own choice. lightbulb has a tendency to fixate somewhat on things she finds important in sentences, so i knew from here.

LOOOOOK AT HIIIIIM HE’S HERE!!!!

okay but for real; this was a masterful song, and i absolutely adored all of the musical progressions and just EVERYTHING. Rheagan Rizio’s vocals were amazing and the song was totally captivating, i love it.

this scene was incredibly interesting to me, this being the moment after suitcase says she genuinely befriended balloon and didn’t do it out of spite.

its like taco forgets people have different desires, and almost believes them to reason things the same way she does, because she knows that if she were in suitcase’s situation at that point that she would’ve done it out of spite, SO INTERESTING!!!!

this was one of my favourite scenes by far, because it brings to light an underlying storyline that has been there since the beginning

knife has been trying to be a better person throughout season two, and this is where that kind of comes crashing down for him. its something so rarely brought up, but bringing it into fruition like this was a fantastic choice, especially when his beliefs of “getting better” are immediately brought down, because his “better” may not be what actually is “better” overall.

ough,,,,,, season two episode twelve parallel save me i love these two so much i had to include it

i had a feeling after episode 14 that lightbulb would be out in this episode, because she was mentally at the weakest point she’d ever been in, but now i can see how much mental strength it must’ve taken to leave behind something that has been such a constant in her life for something that she found mattered to her much more.

she’s such a wonderful character, and i know people will be upset, but she’ll be far happier like this, and that’s already made very clear in later scenes

and to finish, there he is again !!!!

i’m so happy they’re canonically friends too!!!

but overall, taco’s development has been so interesting this episode. i really think she’s starting to fully understand what she wants now, and i suppose now i can only hope she’ll actually talk to them about it next episode

i freaked when i saw this

its not the fact that mephone has his name saved only as steve cobs, but the fact that he has it saved at all.

i understand that this could just be an embedded contact from creation, but i still feel that cobs wouldn’t just put his name in as such, and that mephone wouldn’t have just deleted it by his own accord.

also the fact that COBS is calling HIM. steve cobs has been shown to show little to no interest in mephone following season one, rather focusing on his newer phone models, so what triggered this? if the timeskip is correct, then i’d like to assume its the prime shimmer that influenced him to call mephone. i dunno why, but its a thought yknow!!!

but in conclusion, this was a spectacular episode. a friend of mine screen recorded the entirety of taco’s song so i am very excited to listen to that again, and i hope to see you all next time oooooon… episode in review!!!!

[yippieitsarvensart]

Tweels hc doodles + notes!

Goodness me, I've not been working on these for very long but here's all of what I've thought of within 2 days of thinking about them!! I basically started writing about them the moment I finished drawing "the fuck you brothers" post (9/24) (and today, 9/26) I totally have been thinking about them more after I wrote all this, so I will be continuing on with my hcs right here, under the cut :3 (keep in mind I have not yet played twst! If I get anything gravely wrong correct me!) (9/28, edit: I downloaded twst y'all...)

Both of the twins are autistic, just being on very different ends of er... intensity? Idk how to word that. I just mean that Floyd is someone who has trouble regulating his emotions and stims a lot. Jade doesn't stim as often, he probably would if he were infodumping about mushrooms/his terrariums or whatever else. I think I mean. That Jade suppressed his autistic tendencies by a lot to seem more like a gentleman, while Floyd doesn't really give much of a shit and probably doesn't even know he's autistic.

on that note they both have ADHD. AuDHD brothers.

Anyways as I way saying abt Floyd stimmies; He stims a LOT. Just, all the damn time. It gets so annoying for a lot of people and everyone knows he can't control it. His clingyness is also stimming, he's very touchy. A lot of stim toys don't actually help him but he does calm down significantly more when he's wearing headphones and listening to loud music. That's what stimulates him the most.

Jade only stims when excited, yeah I mentioned that. But did I mention he also stims a lot when stressed. In front of costumers, if he was stressed he might only fiddle with his fingers behind his back. But as soon as he gets away it's full body stimming time baby. Mans is not okay but he cannot let that mask slip!! (I forgot the word before, but I meant to say in my first dotpoint that jade is better at masking than Floyd!!)

Floyd mcr liker >_< (songs about depression and drugs to think about violence to!) Floyd also likes shit like "41 mins of roblox music" or any spongebob music. skull emoji.

Jade Laufey liker :33 (calm songs to think about violence to!)

Floyd likes dancing around in his room to music. Like really getting into it. Putting one song on loop and doing the same dance moves over and over again. (stimming) (oh my god I'm PROJECTING AGAIN stop....)

Jade likes drawing mushrooms. He's really good at drawing nature and when I say "good" I mean if you looked at it, you'd think it was a picture. Like abnormally good for someone who used to not even have paper available...

I saw this from a moot once on twitter I think, but they both (+ Azul) probably had a hard time adjusting to walking around everywhere instead of swimming when they first came onto land. And I think there was something about holding on to bars on stairs WAYY too tight because they feel so wobbly going up them. Same with like, escalators? and elevators? didn't fucking trust them. And they still don't sometimes... Adding onto this I think that they'd both get really frustrated at first with it. Like genuinely really upset; Floyd dramatically falling to the floor and flailing around on the verge of tears while Jade punches the ground over and over... They obviously got better at land things after a long while but for a bit they were just so. not okay LOL

I think for casual/home clothes they'd both be really into big fluffy jumpers. massive fucking huge fluffy shits. They'd be all over the texture and it would be so so texture /pos drooling emoji

I had a little thing that I thought of where I would give Floyd Heart shaped eye shines PLUS an extra smaller not heart eye shine. And giving Jade a square shaped shine with no extra shines. It just makes so much sense to me. Like I can't explain it very well but if you get it, you get me. Do you get me...

WHICH leads me to say then that when Floyd gets MAD he would have NO eye shines. Do you get me. I totally make sense right/. And Jade getting happy about anything even if it doesn't show on his face it would totally show in his eyes... Which also brings me back to something I wrote in my doodle notes with the pupils being like cats... OUGH I'M GOING INSANE DO I MAKE SENSE

another thing my twt moot said !! Floyd would hate necklaces/rings/other accessories and jewelry! It relates back to my point about Floyd hating the feeling of tight clothes, and things touching his skin too much. I feel like if he had say, a necklace on for like 0.1s he would rip it the fuck off, destroying the necklace in the process

Floyd: :3 (aggressive)

Floyd loving to squeeze people but hurting them is 90% of the time on purpose hurting and 10% accidental hurting and when it IS accidental he gets so upset about it. I like to think Floyd is the more emotional out of the two... just so many emotions in that boy. like he just !! wants to give you love !!! but he's so strong he breaks ur ribs !!!! many of ur ribs!! ur honestly surprised you haven't punctured a lung yet!!!

On that note they BOTH are extremely touch starved. Floyd would fucking LOVE it if someone were to lay down on top of him for hours he would feel so squished!! and warm and nice!! and comfy!

Jade on the other hand, LOVES holding hands. holding ONTO something holding onto someONE.

Jade is a gift giver (love language) I bet you can't guess what Floyd is

His love language is Physical touch. Yeah

Jade getting people way too many gifts when it's a special occasion for them because he thinks they might think it's weird if he gets them a gift on any other day.

Floyd hyperpop liker (just overall really likes loud thrashy music or whatever)

Floyd also really got into those games where you have to beat the shit out of a dummy. He doesn't like ones where you have to TIME a hit to make it work (makes him annoyed bc he can't do it) Games like Pou I think....

While Jade enjoys colour by number or those hue games? just doing it in his free time.

[bambi-kinos]

There is something I noticed in this fandom, that's been bothering me for a while and I'd like to hear your opinion as well.

It seems like there is a tendency to gloss over John's streaks of aggression, violence and the obsession with sex. That post about anon asking if John was demisexual especially reminded me of that.

A lot of times I see untruth perpetuated that John only slapped Cynthia once and was so regretful of it, when there are so many accounts of him being violent with other women: hitting Thelma Pickles when she denied him sex, hitting a woman at Paul's birthday party after he grabbed her tit (same party where he hit Wooler), strangling May almost to death.

I think at the core people are trying to re-write John into someone he wasn't, and that's unfair to him and for the other people around him. He did make amends and become a better man, but that was way after Beatles ended. But at the core, John was aggressive and violent, just because he had soft side to him doesn't make him soft. He also knew how to manipulate people really well.

Also, I think his violence/agression is what actually attracted Paul to him because Paul liked danger. He liked when John behaved as a total prick, which made Paul pretty fucked up as well. But that's personally why I like their dynamic so much.

First of all, expecting demi-sexual John anon to take a pitstop in the middle of their fantheory, look at the camera, and say "did you know that John Lennon beat his wife?" like that dude from The Onion is not great.

Secondly, centering John Lennon's abuse of the women he came into contact with is doing a disservice to them. Cynthia, May, and Yoko are more than John's victims and they all have made it clear how they want their relationships with John to be remembered. They have their reasons for loving him and they communicated those. It's not asking much to respect that. They are all more than that and they should be remembered for other things besides "being John Lennon's victim."

Third, fans want to hang out in fan spaces doing fan stuff. Whether that's discussing musical technique or quoting a book or looking at song lyrics. Are we supposed to put legal clauses at the end of our posts and chat messages saying that we don't support John's DV and do not endorse blah blah blah blah blah?

Fourth, it's not an "untruth" that John regretted hitting Cynthia (and he did much worse than hit her, he grabbed her by her skull and slammed her headfirst into a set of exposed pipes) just because he kept being violent afterwards. This is the same guy that cried in public after he beat the shit out of Bob Wooler and kept saying "what have I done" because he thought he had killed someone. Smokers regret being addicted, that doesn't mean it's easy for them to quit smoking right on the spot.

John actively admitting what a massive fuck up he was is pretty much his only saving grace but it's also really important that he said that. Because wifebeaters don't typically do that, they just screech and shit and wail about how "it's my RIGHT as a MAN REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" and refuse to accept blame for what they did. The fact that John did accept that blame says a lot about who he was as a person.

Fifth, fans aren't trying to "rewrite" John, we're trying to fit together the pieces of a complicated man who hurt a lot of people but also helped a lot of people.

And the thing is, I get it, I GET IT. I've seen insane shit go down before! I've seen people giggle and laugh about John beating women! I've seen fans say that John's violence is overblown and that fans are taking it too seriously, and every other horrible thing you can think of. All of this, and more, is present in Beatles fandom. So I get it! I understand that it's upsetting sometimes. I don't like it either. I piss on people who do that. I am still angry about that.

But how many fans are doing vs how many fans just aren't talking about the stuff you think is important?

We can fully acknowledge that John did many awful things and treat it seriously. We are also adults capable of nuance which means we can acknowledge and appreciate that softer side of him and be a fan of his art and public personality.

What else are we supposed to do. Genuinely.

(Thanks to @the-world-is-treating-me-bad for talking this out with me last week.)

[livingfast04]

You know, I read like a shit ton of fics (Mostly Steddie fics) about Steve being a complete pushover. Saying No, and then still going along with it? Being uncomfortable with something and still letting the kids get their way.

Or Steve attempting to set boundaries, and then The Party still blows through them and Steve just doesn't seem to mind? He gets upset about them pushing issues, asking about things he doesn't want to talk about, a huge theme is about him not flirting with girls and mostly it's from Dustin. Just an Example that I can think of. And then, they (mostly Dustin) trample through the boundary and in the end it's fine. And It's like Steve was never upset after the fact? Like in a "I love them so it's okay." or a "Well it ended up being fine, so I don't mind." I- hate this. I hate this so fuckin much??? Because it's not, and sure it's always in a "Steve and Eddie get together because of this" or a "Its well meaning and causes no harm" It doesn't matter it shouldn't?? Like yeah in the show Steve tends to say no, and then ends up doing it anyway. but Only ONCE, do we see Steve say No, and then change his mind. S3. And then some in S4, and it honestly seems more out of just annoyance of the possibilities of it happening again. Or because the children hijack his place of work. In season 2, Steve completely puts his foot down, and then in the end Has to be Full Fuckin Kidnapped to go along with it. And then with Dustin and D'Art. Which, is also maybe a form of kidnapping, but this kids got a monster on his hands and he never actually says no? (I can't remember, I need to go back and watch it, so don't quote me on that) And Erica, is just Erica, she's terrifying and Steve was also working a job where his employer would probably believe her over him- That's different. BUT. In Season one, Steve sets a boundary with Tommy and Carole. Calls them assholes, drops them. Now it's been a total year- And you know for a fact that wasn't the only interaction they had after that. It was November for fucks sake. Not Once, does Steve actually have Pushover tendencies when it wasn't a moment where he literally couldn't back out of it??

Out side of that, it doesn't matter. Why is there a huge like, thought throughout the entire thing, that Everyone just walks all over Steve and Steve lets them??? and I mean EVERYONE, people have Robin do that, Mostly I've seen it with Dustin. I get, good angst point. But never is it like. "He said no, stop asking." Never. And Sure time period, yeah. I guess? But Steve is never upset afterwards. Never. And if he blows up about it, it's always, "Way to be an asshole, Steve." Or "I was just trying to help." THATS LITERALLY GASLIGHTING. I, I just really don't. Like it. The lack of reaction, how it's just okay for them to do that because Steve loves them.

It doesn't make sense to me

[notmanagingmymischief]

𝒩.𝐵. || 𝒶 𝒽𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝑔𝑜.

WOW, USER NOTMANAGINGMYMISCHIEF ACTUALLY STILL POSTS ORIGINAL WRITING??? :000000

shocker, i know

~~

word count: 1,964

warnings: death/dying, mentions of incestual tendencies on Norman’s part, survivor’s guilt, ambiguous ending?

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tag list:

@takemercyonme @when-i-miss-you @damagnificentcookie @straight2hades @marvelgeek09 @herashifts @crime-ninja @onebigsimp @emiliaisdead @sapphic-stress @nonbinary-cryptid-baby @merci-bitch @feartheclipse @mxbeezkneez @fxoehy @ahoy-gays @sythaerin @consciouschunkofmoss

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~~

enjoy xx

~~

I had been in love with Norma Bates for as long as I could remember. From the moment I laid eyes on her, probably. It took almost two long years for me to finally confess to her, and three for us to completely and totally settle down with each other. It was on what was supposed to be a calm, easy day—one where neither of us had work to do, and we could just exist with each other—where something finally went wrong.

Well, that isnt entirely true; the past couple of days we’d been having this weird tension between each other. Norma had been busy with the Motel, Norman was being a pain in my ass, and my estranged family had decided to reach out again after years. All of the stress culminated today, though. When we had nothing to distract ourselves with, and somehow it ended up in an argument. One of our worst we’d ever had, in fact. I mentioned something about my parents getting on my ass, which led to the conversation of Norman. This was already a rather sensitive topic for everyone, and I’d been too stressed to filter myself. A stray comment I made had Norma all up in arms, and so here we are; in a screaming match in our shared bedroom.

“You can’t say that! I know you don’t get along, but Norman is my son, whether you like it or not!” Norma exclaims, throwing her hands up exasperatedly. I scoff and cross my arms. “Yeah, thats the problem, Norma. He’s your son.” I give her a Look, “He acts like he’s your boyfriend. Have you seriously never even been slightly freaked out by that?” I make perfectly valid points; Norman has always been weirdly attached to his mother, in a very creepy way. But Norma was unwilling to acknowledge that. We bicker back and forth some more, poisonous words thrown back and forth between us. “At least he didn’t abandon me!”

That. That was the final straw right there. Norma knew exactly how to get to me. I confided with her about my family issues and there she was, using them against me. I reel back with a hiss. “You—what?” I spit, glaring at her. But Norma doesn’t even take it back; I sense we’re both too upset to really consider each other's feelings. I shake my head. “No, thats too much. I can’t—you know that isnt what I did!” Norma mirrors my action, shaking her head and giving me an exhausted look. “Isn’t it?” she asks, and I have to clench my fists to stop from hitting something. We stare each other down for a moment, neither of us willing to speak. And then she does.

“That’s it. I’m done. We, this,” she gestures vaguely between the two of us, “is done.”

It hits me like a bag of bricks. I’m not stupid, or dense. “Are you breaking up with me right now, Norma..?” I ask, tears stinging in my eyes. “I didn’t want to say it but yes, I think that’s what has to happen. I just—I’m done.” I keep staring at her in shock, trembling violently. I can’t speak, can barely even breathe, and Norma wont even look at me. Finally, I choke back a little sob, and with a cracked little voice, I go “Fine. Fine, then. G-Goodbye, Norma Bates,” before turning on my heel and doing my best not to run from our room, from our house, from our life. It doesnt take me more than twenty minutes to grab some essentials, only what I’ll need for a couple days before I can come pick my stuff up, and throw it and myself into my car. Not once does Norma show her face, and I’m almost grateful for it. I only spare one glance up at that old house on the hill before pulling out of the lot and onto the freeway. I don’t know where I’ll go, I don’t know what I’ll do—I just need to get away.

I drive down the highway, vision dangerously blurry from tears, for what could be minutes or hours. I have the radio up as loud as it’ll go, I’m clenching my fists around the steering wheel to the point of my knuckles aching. But nothing matters, because everything just hurts. Everything hurts so much.

It hurts so much that I don’t notice myself shaking so badly my driving has become erratic. It hurts so much that I don’t see myself accidentally veer to the left with a particularly body-wracking sob. But it doesnt hurt enough to stop me from seeing the headlights blinding me. And all I have time to do is let out a choked gasp and shrill shriek before—darkness.

~~

Norma had been a wreck. Since she watched you from what used to be your bedroom’s window, watched you drive away and not look back, since she realized what she had done. She fell onto your—no, her bed—and put her head in her hands. She didnt cry, she couldn’t. But she did just sit there in silence, running through everything that had happened in the past hour in her head. When she did finally get up, her stare vacant and eyes dull, she went about the rest of her day without any of her usual fervor. Dinner with Norman was filled only by him, telling her about whatever taxidermy he’d done that day. And when she went to bed, Norma finally let herself cry. When she went to bed without you, and realized how cold her bed was. When she realized that the sheets hung too loosely over her shoulders because your body wasn't behind her to elevate them with your own. She didn’t sleep that night.

The next morning, Norma Bates is roused from her exhausted silence by her phone ringing. Not by her alarm, it was much too early for that. No, this was a call. With a sleepy groan, the blonde turns to grapple for it, answering the thing without reading the caller ID with an unimpressed “What?”

“Is this….Norma Bates?”

Norma didnt recognize the voice on the other end. “Uh…yes, this is she. Why..?” she mumbled, rolling onto her back. “This is Pine Bay Medical Center. We have Y/N L/N here with us…you were her emergency contact.” This immediately snaps Norma’s exhaustion out of her and she sits up in bed quickly. “What? You—what happened? Y/n? Is she alright?” “Ma’am, please breathe. Are you sitting down?” Norma’s breathing is already rapidly increasing, and she nods before realizing they cant see her and quietly choking out a “Ye-Yes, I am.”

“Mrs Bates, I regret to inform you that Miss L/N passed away this morning at…15:23 PM.”

The world goes silent. It falls out from under Norma and leaves her reeling; she nearly drops her phone from her hands as she just…stares. Stares at her wall in silence. The woman on the end of the line must be speaking to her, but all Norma can hear is a persistent buzzing behind the ringing in her ears as those words bounce around her head. After too long, the woman finally croaks out “Can I see her?” The moment she’s given the okay, she hangs up and snaps into action. She throws on the closet dress she can find, and doesnt even bother checking on Norman as she practically throws herself out the door and down the stairs.

Norma makes it to the hospital in record time, thankfully not stumbling across Alex to give her a speeding ticket, and the car is barely in park before she’s out the door and sprinting into the ER. Her voice shakes something fierce as she begs the receptionist to let her see you; as though begging them to bring you back. It takes too long for them to understand her but when they do, they give her a knowing look. “She’s..already at the mortuary, second floor.” Norma doesn’t bother thanking them before she’s gone, up the stairs and frantically searching for the room.

It doesn’t really sink in, she thinks, until she gets through to the workers and is finally led to the wall. When the small door is opened and a metal slab is slowly pulled out. And when she stares down at you. Down at her girl; peaceful but cold to the touch. It doesn't sink in that you’re gone until she rests a trembling hand on your cheek and can’t feel the warmth of your skin, when you don’t automatically lean into her touch. It isn’t until that moment that the world, reality, finally comes crashing back in and down onto her shoulders. The reality where you’re….not here.

Without being able to stop it, a shrill sob falls from Norma’s lips, and just like that she collapses against the wall. The mortuarists don’t intervene—they’ve seen this happen too many times—and let her grieve. They let her sob and plead and press her fingers to every cut and scratch on your pallid complexion, until she’s finally guided slowly and carefully from the room, still crying and repeating your name desperately. She’s sent into an empty room to be by herself, but she can’t even make it to the chair before she’s on her knees on the ground, sobbing all over again. Face in her hands, nearly screaming with the agony filling her entire body and soul. Gone, gone, gone, gone. You’re gone. Nothing Norma can say or do can take back what happened, and now you’re gone.

You’ll never wake her up with breakfast in bed again. You’ll never laugh at her stupid jokes. You’ll never hug her from behind and press your face into her hair as you grumble about the workweek’s stress. She’ll never kiss you again. She’ll never stay awake talking until past midnight about anything and everything again. She’ll never even…see you again.

Norma doesnt know how long she stays like that; eventually someone must have shown up because now she’s sitting in an uncomfortable chair and being asked too many questions, being talked at too much, and everything’s too loud. And Norman is there. He appeared a few hours back, but didn’t dare try to speak to his mother. She was too deep in her grief to even recognize his presence yet, and when she answers questions they’re brief and mumbled. The clearest thing that passes by her hearing is a doctor saying “Your wife was very strong in the OR. She fought hard, and it’s a real shame she didn’t make it.”

Her wife? When had she been put into the role of your wife? It was only once she was given your phone that she realized her contact was titled “wifey <333”, her name only written in the subtext inside the contact info. This brought on a new wave of tears. More unidentified time passes, until Norma is finally left alone with Norman in silence.

“I’m done.”

Norman looks up at his mother with a confused look. “What did you say, mother?” She slowly raises her head from her hands; “‘I’m done.’ That’s the last thing I said to her,” she breathes, eyes glistening with more tears that prepare to join the ones already streaming down her cheeks. “The last thing she thought she knew was that I hated her,” Norma chokes, sobbing again and letting her head fall back into the wall. She doesn’t even register the dull sting, too consumed by guilt and shame and grief.

What flowers will they have at your funeral? Did you ever write a will? Who would they tell? Would she let your family know?

But worst of all—how would she live with herself knowing that this was all her fault?

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Getting to know myself again

PAIRING | Bucky Barnes x Mid Size!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 3.5K

SUMMARY | Both Bucky and Reader have been through life-altering situations that made them unsure of their bodies. Through their eyes, we will see what they will do to show each other how they can get to know and love their own bodies all over again after everything that has happened to them.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Bad body image, low self-esteem, suicidal tendencies, physical assault on Reader, talk about the loss of blood, body dysmorphia.

A/N | Hi all! This fic is based around the fact that I have always struggled with my body image, but I tried to put a positive spin on it in the end. Remember, every single person is different, but perfect in their own way! 🖤

Likes and reblogs would be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

It was promising to be a fun night out with the girls, but that wasn't how it turned out to be. Never did you think you would end up bleeding out in the emergency room of the hospital, but that is exactly how this night ended. Alone on the gurney waiting for them to fix you up, even though you'd rather have them leave you alone so you can just go without anyone knowing you'd even be gone. No one would even miss you anyway, or so you thought. The moment Bucky heard what happened, he was racing his way to the hospital to find his best friend who needed him more than anything at this moment.

Wanda and Natasha asked you to go clubbing with them, which you usually didn't do but figured it wouldn't hurt to go with them for once. They already asked so many times, and you didn't want to disappoint them again. ''Okay, but I don't have anything to wear, nothing looks good on me,'' you say, but the two ladies didn't want to hear any of it. ''Babe, you're absolutely perfect, everything looks good on you!'' Nat said, but you figured she only said that to make you feel better, not because she actually meant it. You are in no way close to the way they look. You have wide hips, thick thighs, a pouchy belly, and boobs that are way too big for your figure. Every time you had to pick something from the racks in a size 16 or 18, your heart immediately sank to your stomach, and you just wanted to turn around and leave.

''How about we go shopping together? That way we can find something that will make you look irresistible!'' Wanda offered, but the doubt immediately crept back into your mind. Irresistible? She must be joking right? but you decide to go anyway after a deep sigh. The least you could do is see if there was anything you liked to begin with, you could use some new clothes since most of your old ones are starting to fit rather tight for your liking. The three of you are going out to the mall when you run into Bucky. ''Hey, Buck!'' you say and a big smile appears on your face. ''Hey doll, looking good as always!'' he said with a flirty tone and a wink. ''Where are you heading off to?'' he asked. ''Just shopping with Nat and Wanda, I finally caved and we're going clubbing tonight..'' you said a little unsure. ''Sounds like a lot of fun! I'll see you later,'' he said and walked away to his destination.

''Really Y/N, I don't understand why you don't just give into your feelings for him already, I can tell he is really into you as well!'' Nat said. ''You must be joking? There is no way he would fall for someone like me, he just said that because we're friends, nothing more!'' you scoffed and turned red, you knew it was a bad idea to tell them how you feel about him. You were perfectly fine being friends with him, that way you could still hang out with him whenever you wanted, no strings attached. ''Yeah, he's totally into you! How about we go pick out an outfit that will make him go absolutely crazy for you?!'' Wanda says, but you don't feel up for that. ''I'm sorry Wanda, but I'd rather just pick out something I actually feel comfortable in,'' you said with a sad tone in your voice.

Natasha and Wanda go all out in the mall, buying multiple outfits, shoes, and accessories, but you just walk out with a simple outfit, a pair of black heels, and a small silver necklace for tonight, nothing over the top. The girls talked you into getting a simple black crop top that accentuated your boobs really nicely, and a pair of blue ripped jeans that made your ass look very good. It wasn't something you'd usually wear, but you would just step out of your comfort zone for this one night, it is the least you could do. ''You look gorgeous with that outfit babe. When we go back to the compound you should show it to Bucky and see what he thinks of it. I bet you aren't leaving tonight when he sees you in it,'' Wanda said with a grin on her face.

When you get back to the compound it is dinner time, and you decided to eat some takeout with the girls in your bedroom, so you could talk about your game plan for the night. These plans usually existed of deciding what to wear, how much to drink, and finding a cute guy to take home, even though that last bit wasn't on your mind at all, since it was already occupied by Bucky. ''Allright, I'm going to go change and I'm gonna say bye to Bucky, I promised to swing by before we would leave.'' you say and you walk into your bathroom after which you close and lock the door. You take your clothes off and look into your mirror, but you immediately regret doing that when the bad thoughts creep back.

Nobody loves you when you look like this. You're way too fat to be friends with them. Lose some weight so you'll actually fit in with everyone here. How are you even an Avenger with that body? It is a shame you even exist, everyone's life would be better without you.

As much as you try to keep your tears at bay, you fail horribly and let out an uncontrollable sob and the girls hear you. ''Babe, are you okay? What's wrong in there? Can we help?'' Nat and Wanda ask all at the same time, but you don't want to bother them with your low self-esteem and bad body image. Nobody needs to know about it, you already cause enough problems just being here. ''I'm fine, sorry. Nothing is wrong!'' you say through your tears and you turn on the faucet so you can splash some water on your face. After this you step out of the cotton underwear you're wearing and grab the lingerie you bought as well today, hoping it would turn your self-esteem up a little. It was a light yellow thong and a bra in the same color that pushed your boobs up nicely, to show off some cleavage, but not so much that you're entirely uncomfortable.

After this you step into the jeans and put your belt around it, you put on the black crop top and the silver necklace. You step into your heels and open the door, finally showing the girls the way you look. ''Damn girl, you look phenomenal!'' they said in unison, and it did feel good to hear them say it, even when you didn't believe it. You still feel like your thighs are way too big, and your belly is way too visible, but you decide to push the feelings aside for now and enjoy the moment. ''Thanks. I'll just go do my hair and make-up before heading to Bucky, I'll see you at the compound entrance at 10 okay?'' you asked and they agreed, both going to their own rooms to get ready.

You decide to go for a simple smokey eye with dark blue tints to complement the jeans you're wearing, and a light lipstick to not take away from the make-up. You straighten your hair, which you barely do so it is nice to do it every once in a while to change it up. When you're done, you walk out of your room and head toward Bucky's room, as you promised. You knock on his door and almost immediately it swings open. For the first few seconds, Bucky doesn't know what to say when he sees you, his mouth hanging open a bit when he takes in your outfit and make-up. ''Damn doll, if I didn't know any better I'd think you did this all for me! You are looking gorgeous right now!'' he said and he got a deep red blush on his face when he saw you walk into his room.

''Thanks, Buck, it means a lot,'' you say with a deep crimson color on your cheeks now. He always gave you compliments about your body, but he never looked at you like that, and you couldn't help but feel like you wanted him to look at you like that more often. ''You wanted to see me?'' you asked and you sat down on his couch in your usual spot. ''Uh, yeah, I did actually,'' he said with a sigh, not sure where to begin. ''I've been feeling like absolute shit today, and I don't know why, so I was hoping that seeing you would cheer me up a bit, and it really did. I had a pretty bad nightmare again last night, and ever since then I've really been on edge today..'' he said, not looking at you out of shame that he admitted having nightmares again. ''Are they back? Your nightmares?'' you asked, they had been gone for quite a while, but every once in a while they would pop back up, mostly when he was stressed. ''Yeah...'' he said, but he didn't want to admit he had a nightmare about losing you, he couldn't get himself to that point.

He came to sit next to you on the couch, and he put his hand on your thigh as a loving gesture, which went straight to your core. You put your hand on top of his, knowing he was looking for some comfort, and a small smile appeared on his face. You stayed there and talked about it some more, and eventually it was time for you to leave and go to the club with Natasha and Wanda. ''I have to go now, but I'll make sure to keep in touch with you when I can, allright?'' you said to him and pulled him in for a much needed hug for both of you. He put a soft kiss on your temple before you let go, and his lips lingered there for a few seconds, your eyes fluttering shut when he did it. ''See you later, doll, have fun.'' he said when you walked out his door to grab your purse and phone.

Once you arrived in the club with the girls, you immediately wanted to start with some shots in order to loosen up a little, and they didn't say no to that. You could handle your alcohol pretty well, but after a few too many shots you were a little unstable on your feet. Behind you, you heard some girls talk about you, and you could hear them talk about your body and the outfit you were wearing that night. ''If you don't like the way I dress, you should really go somewhere else.'' you said, but that was a mistake. ''Those clothes aren't made for someone with your body. You look like a fat pig in that!'' they said and they laughed hard at you. This is when you had enough, and you swung your fist at the girls, hearing bones crack when you hit a jaw.

One of the girls started fighting back, and all of you ended up on the ground, Natasha and Wanda trying to pull you off but you were so angry you couldn't help yourself and kept hitting and kicking them. When you suddenly felt a knife in your stomach and after that in your chest, you slumped over and everything went black. They pulled a knife on you, and hit you pretty deep with it. The girls were immediately contained and looked over, Wanda and Natasha took care of you and pushing on your wounds to make sure you don't lose any more blood. ''Shit Y/N, why did you do that? Please stay with us, we can't lose you!'' they said and the bartender called 911.

About 10 minutes later you were hauled into the back of an ambulance, but Wanda an Natasha were held back by the police since they were witnesses and couldn't go to the hospital with you. ''Please, let us call someone to be with her! We need to call Bucky!'' Nat yelled at the police officer, and he agreed. She quickly grabbed her phone and called Bucky sobbing, barely able to get the story across of what happened. The police officer took over her phone, and said ''Hi, this is officer Jones with the NYPD. We want to inform you that Y/N Y/L/N has just been taking into an ambulance and to the hospital, after she obtained multiple stab wounds.'' he said and Bucky immediately started running out his door, not even waiting for the officer to finish his sentence after he said you were taking to the hospital.

''Woah Buck, easy now!'' Steve said when he ran past him, but he didn't listen, all he could think about was you and how scared you must be right now. When he was in the garage and on his motorcycle, he raced to the hospital not caring about any speed limits, he would deal with the consequences when all this was over. Right now you needed him, and that is all that matters.

When you arrived in the hospital you were still unconscious and you have lost a lot of blood, but they took good care of you in the ambulance. You were immediately rushed into surgery, and right after you got wheeled away Bucky arrived in a panicked state. ''I'm here to see Y/N Y/L/N, is she here yet?'' he asked frantically and out of breath. ''She just arrived and got wheeled into surgery. If you wait in the waiting room, I'll send a doctor your way once we know more.'' the lady behind the desk said in a calm voice. He called Steve when he calmed down a little, having his breathing under control now. He explained all he knew so far, and Steve made his way to the hospital together with Tony, so Bucky wouldn't have to be alone.

''Any update yet?'' Tony asked when they ran into the waiting room, but all they saw was a distraught Bucky shaking his head no. ''She's been in there for 3 hours now, I'm really worried we're gonna lose her...'' Bucky said and tears finally ran down his face now that Steve was here to comfort him. ''She'll be okay Buck, she's strong and she will get through this,'' he said with a soothing voice whilst Bucky cried on his shoulder. ''Sir?'' a doctor asked Bucky after the nurse pointed out he was waiting. ''You're here for Y/N right?'' the doctor asked. ''Yeah?'' he asked hopeful. ''She's out of surgery and she will make a full recovery. She had a collapsed lung where the knife hit her in the chest, but in her stomach there were no major organs or arteries hit. She will need to be on bedrest for a while, but like I said she will make a full recovery.'' the doctor said with a reassuring smile.

''Can we go see her now?'' Steve asked, since Bucky was too relieved and just started crying again. ''Yeah, the nurse will show you to her room. I wish her the best.'' the doctor said before walking away, and a nurse pointed her into the direction of her room. ''Oh my fucking god doll...'' Bucky said and he made a few quick strides to reach you. He placed a soft kiss on your forehead and grabbed your hand softly. ''I'm so glad you're okay, I love you...'' he said but you weren't awake yet. Steve and Tony heard it perfectly fine however, but didn't mention it until later. Right now he just needed to be left alone with you for a little while.

When you opened your eyes, you were glad to see the blue eyes of Bucky, who was looking at you waking up. ''Hey beautiful, you had me scared for a while there...'' he said softly, and your lips curled into a small smile. ''I'm sorry,'' you croaked out and Bucky couldn't help but let out a little chuckle at the sound of your voice. ''You don't have to say anything, it's okay. The doctor said you would make a full recovery, so that is good. Just... don't ever scare me like that again, okay?'' he said with a bit of sadness in his voice and you nodded a bit. You listened to Bucky talk about work for a little bit before drifting back off to sleep, and the next day he was there to take you home. ''Welcome home, doll!'' he said when you walked back into the compound, while you had your arm hooked into his for some stability.

Every Avenger was in the kitchen to wish you a warm welcome, and you couldn't help but feel appreciated, although it was still a bit much for you now. ''Thanks everyone, but I need to lay down.'' you said and Bucky led you to your room. ''Will you stay with me?'' you asked and he obviously said yes. You got comfortable on your bed and Bucky laid next to you. When he found a comfortable position you grabbed his hand and intertwined your fingers with his, so you could have a bit of comfort in this moment. ''Thank you for everything, Bucky. I know I don't deserve everything you do for me, but I'm still grateful..'' you say in a soft voice. He immediately shot up and looked at you.

''What do you mean you don't deserve it?! You're the greatest person I have ever met in this lifetime, and that is saying a lot seeing that I'm over a hundred years old. Granted I can barely remember 70 of them, but that's not the point here. You deserve everything and more doll, you deserve the sun, moon, stars and everything else. And most of all, I love you, Y/N. I have since the first time you baked me cookies when I wasn't feeling well. I love you so fucking much it actually hurts, and seeing you in that hospital bed only confirmed it to me. I love you, and I'm in love with you, doll. Don't you ever dare to say you don't deserve me, because you do.'' Bucky said, and when he saw a few tears escape from your eyes, he gently wiped them away with his thumb.

''I love you too, Buck. I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember, but I was too afraid to admit it. I can't even love myself, so how was I supposed to let you know I love you?!'' you said, only making the crying worse and full on sobbing despite the pain you're in. ''Doll, I know how hard it is to love yourself again after everything that has happened to you, but you deserve to love yourself. You're more than worth it, and everyone who tells you otherwise can go touch grass. You have an amazing personality, a laugh that lights up the room, and a body to fucking die for. That is why I love you, doll. You're absolutely perfect, and it hurts me that you can't see that. But I also understand the feeling, seeing how I went through it myself with my arm.'' Bucky sighed.

You tried to sit up, but instead, Bucky came to you, and he slowly leaned in for the kiss you were wanting to give him. You slowly closed your eyes when you felt his hand on your cheek, yours went to the back of his neck. When you felt his soft lips on yours, every single worry melted away for a second, all you could think about was you and Bucky at this moment, sharing the most gentle, soft kiss you ever had. All the love, anxiety, scared feelings, and amazement were mixed into this one, soft yet passionate kiss. You didn't want to leave his lips, but you still have to breathe so you reluctantly pulled back. ''Wow..'' is all you could mutter and a smile appeared on both your faces.

''Doll, I will be by your side forever if you want me to. I'll show you every single day how much you mean to me, and how perfect you are. I will do everything I possibly can to make you see yourself the way I see you, no matter how hard it will be every now and again.'' ''I would love that, Bucky.'' you said and you sealed it with another soft kiss, just like the one you just shared. ''But first, I have to tell Nat and Wanda that they were right!'' you giggled, and pulled your phone out to tell them that you and Bucky were finally together, after everything. ''I love you, doll,'' he said and placed a kiss on your temple before you drifted off to sleep not long after that. ''You too...'' you said.

[roxineedstosleep]

Yes Dad... No Dad... I will not apologise to Ms Fitzer for what she said.

I kind of gift for @batmiilf after she gneerate that post asking about Jason and his possessive tendencies.

I hope you like this Sweethearth!!!

______________________________________

"Jason"

"Pfff" his son replied, covered head to toe in the millions of blankets he had on his big bed in his new room.

"Jay"

"Pffff" Jason still didn't come out, which was surprising, since that was one of the few times Jason used his own room.

He usually refused to sleep anywhere else but with him. Unless he had a sleepover with Roy.

"Jaylad?"

"Mmm" His son's sweet little head managed to make out a little under so many blankets.

"Baby?"

"I'm not going to apologise to that old woman" his baby now replied, who had pulled his face completely out of the sheets, and was showing a terrible and not at all amused pout all over his face.

Oh, so that was what had Jason so upset. They'd not recently returned from a Gala, completely exhausted, Jason more socially drained than he should have been; and him completely exhausted from all the time he'd been standing around.

He had heard from Oliver, who had thankfully taken Roy to the Gala, that the kids had had an ugly conversation with an older woman. Roy kept grimacing every time the woman was mentioned, and Jason looked like he was going to throw all the etiquette classes out the window at any moment when he heard the lady's voice.

Since the woman never approached him, he didn't think it was anything extremely serious, or at any rate, something that was taken for what it was: a comment in the heat of the discussion. If there was one thing he had to thank the upbringing of that generation, it was that they often didn't take things to heart, especially with children involved.

But his son was still upset, so much so that he didn't even want to eat the peanut ice cream Roy managed to steal from the kitchen.

And well, since his baby had started to regain a healthy level of weight and fat, he'd never had a problem with wanting to eat snacks before; Bruce'd even opened a small portable freezer in the Batcave for that very reason, so Jason could eat all the snacks he wanted whenever he wanted.

He really had to be mad about something.

"Well, I don't know what you'd have to apologise for Jay, no woman came to tell me anything" he tried to calm him down a bit "Would you be so kind as to tell me your side of it so I can tell that was lady not to bother you again?"

"She said I needed a mum" Oh… well, yes. That woman touched a nerve, definitely. "But I don't want a new mum."

Oh.

That sweet boy.

His perfect, unruly baby.

"No sweetpie, of course not" he tried his best to calm Jason down, he knew how delicate the issue of a mother in his life was for him; he knew how frustrating it should be for Jason to know that his mother was somewhere totally alone and mistreated "You don't need a mum, and believe me when I tell you this, I don't plan on getting you one. You have your mum and no one is going to replace her. Ever."

His son's face had clearly started to relax, but, his frown was still somewhat furrowed. Hadn't it just been that?

"It's not just that" well, at least he was more open to a conversation "It's just that… I only need you, just you and no one else."

Couldn't his son be any sweeter? What had Bruce done to deserve such a blessing as a child?

"Oh Jaylad, I love you so much too."

"That lady said that when I grow up I'm going to leave, I don't want to leave" exclaimed Jason, completely terrified of the words she quoted "She said that children grow up, they grow up and leave their parents' house. I don't want to leave because you're going to be all alone, Dad!

Well, in the end, his heart would have a cavity from all the tenderness and adoration his son professed for him.

"I- I would miss you so very much" Jason continued, growing closer to him "I would miss you, I would miss Alfred and even Dick! Even if he eats my Wonder Woman cereal! I would miss him soo much Dad!"

"That's very kind of you JayJay" Bruce managed to exclaim, sticking his son to his side as he tries to settle in next to him on the bed "And believe me, we'd be pretty sad without you too. We'd miss you a lot!"

"Promise me" demanded his son, his baby, clutching him quite tightly to his stomach, as if he was trying to function with his father after that terrible and exhausting talk "Promise me that you won't leave me".

Oh, his poor child.

He knew Jason would still have distrustful tendencies, as Alfred, Leslie and the odd child specialist had mentioned that now that Jasone was in a better place, he wouldn't hesitate to pull various possessive behaviours on his loved ones.

"It will be a passing thing" they told him after several sessions so that Jason could adjust better in the family and at school "from what you tell me and what Jason mentions, he never had anyone who loved him or that he could consider from his family group. When he notices that you will be there for him more often, he will slowly let go of those possessive traits. He'll be fine, he's a good kid.

"Jay, if it were up to me I'd shrink you down to the size of a peanut and take you everywhere with me" he began, trying to explain to his son, his sweet Jay "But I can't promise you I'll never leave you"

"Nope!" Jason tray to stop him, almost at the point to start a tatrum.

"BUT, that does not imply that I will never stop loving you. I will do everything possible to always be with you and I want you to know from now on that no matter what you do, I will always love you with all my being" He, luckily, managed to cut the possible tantrum of Jason "Understand?"

"Even if I turn into a furry little green worm with googly eyes and a million feet?" Jason asked

"Sure Jay, I'd build you the most beautiful terrarium in the universe and I'd let you build apple houses and all the fruits you want" Bruce replied, pulling Jason away from his hiding place inside his stomach and trying to carry him on his lap "I even I'd get a little TV so you can watch all the Wonder Woman movies you want."

"Thanks Dad"

"Come on, honey… but I'd like to know what you told the lady"

"I'm sleepy pa-"

"Jay"

"I told him that I was too old and had few children to talk about my father," he confessed.

"Well… you're not wrong, but I'd rather you give her at least an apology so I don't have problems with her later on" Bruce asked.

"But Dad!"

"No buts Jaylad" he replied, staring into his son's baby blue eyes "I know you're a pretty polite kid. At least for me?"

"pfff- fine… but only because you ask me to"

"You're a heaven Jay Jay, that's my good boy"

"Yes, YOUR good boy. Only yours."

[ihatepannacotta]

I was just thinking about Russel x Winry the other day!! Kind of along the lines in a modern au of them agreeing to fake date in the hopes of getting Ed jealous (winry tried and failed multiple times to flirt, and ed does have his jealous tendencies, so the logic is that by seeming like she’s interested in a guy she knows ed Does Not Get Along With that the sort of protective jealousy would kick in, russel is totally willing especially if it means being able to hold something over ed). but then it doesn’t work. ed is a bit judgy in the sense of “really winry??? You’re into THAT guy??” but is otherwise in the “it’s her life, she can do what she wants” mindset. And then russel and winry realize that Oh, Oh no, I actually like you, what now??

Ed and ling (who are dating, up for interpretation on if Ed is gay, bi, pan, or demi) are just watching the relationship from the sidelines sipping at smoothies or something just watching russel and winry be absolute disasters trying to figure out how to date each other, not knowing that it’s fake dating that somehow ended up turning real dating.

Also, I think Al and fletcher would be cute!! Fletcher potentially thinking it’s some Romeo and Juliet level thing because their older brothers Don’t Get Along. Like, how does he tell his older brother he has a crush on his rival’s little brother?? (I am looser with my al ships than my ed ships, so like, up for debate on if it goes well for them or not? I ship al with winry, paninya, mei, and fletcher, so whatever works for whatever thought process I’m having at the current moment I guess)

But I only have vague ideas of characters from 03 and haven’t had the chance to analyze them yet past what wikis say they’re like and because it’s 03 the tringham brothers are like… NOWHERE in fma fanfic I’ve come across. I do know they’re like… a parallel of sorts to the Elric brothers with a few key differences.

AAAAAAAAAAAA YESYESYESYESYES!!

I'm so happy!! We need more Winry x Russell propaganda, they would be so cute together 😭

And YES, I can see Russell being the stupid one who said "I have an idea" thinking it would be amazing and the best idea ever. "We should have a date" he said, very proudly of himself. Winry just watches him in silence for a long time, completely confused because she doesn't understand how that correlates with Ed in the slightest. When 5 minutes have passed in silence, Russell laughs awkwardly and explains the plan, and since they both began to share a neuron since they became friends, Winry tells him "YES! YOU'RE A GENIUS!"

But maybe while all the fake dating is being planned, Ling and Ed are not together yet (I mean, of course they have a crush on the other, but neither of them has taken the first step, they are just being awkward and dumb with the other) that's why Russell and Winry think one of them have a chance. And when they are ready to start the plan, Ling asks Ed for a date, but Winry is oblivious about that.

They start to be together all the time, and when the gang (Lan Fan, Paninya, Al, Ed, Ling and Mei) want to organize something, Winry says that she already had plans with a "friend". Ed looks clearly upset because this is the fifth time she did that, and angrily asks who this guy is who can't leave her alone for a second.

"You know him, remember Russell Tringham?"

"...You're fucking with me"

A week passed and Ed is still really really angry about that "relationship" and Ling is trying to calm him down, saying Winry is his friend and he should be happy she found someone, Ling reminds him that Winry was a little upset before she started dating this guy. So Ed reluctantly agrees he is right.

One day, Ling sees them and comes up with a plan to make Ed calmer and show him that Winry will be fine. He takes his boyfriend by the arm and drags him to where the other two are.

"We should all go out together. You know, a double date!"

Ed, Russell and Winry are shocked but for different reasons.

Ed, with a frown, thinks Ling is an idiot for coming up with that idea (although there's a bit of red in his face because Ling looks so pretty smiling ajhfkwbrksjfjs).

And on the other hand, Russell and Winry are panicking because the two of them were together?! since when?! How did this happen?!

The chaos begins. Ling and Ed were so confused during the date because Winry and Russell don't feel like a real couple?? They seem so awkward with the other and every time Ed or Ling asks them something about their relationship they look at each other with panic.

Dude, I really love that idea javdjwbdnsbjfhs

OKAY I WILL STOP NOW 😭

Talking about Al, I ship him with Mei jdjsjjfka but I think he and Fletcher would be amazing bff's! And Ed doesn't have a real problem with the younger one, but his big brother????? Omg someone kill him please.

I really enjoy your ask! Thank you so much, and sorry for being late with the answer!

[heartfiliaccc]

Fairy Tail 100 Years Quest episode 10: thoughts + opinions

Uneasy Erza omake

I'm totally not shocked that Juvia has practiced kissing in front of the mirror at some point in time (she has to perfect it for her beloved Gray, am I right?)

but she's so adorable regardless

Gray's facial expression tells me this isn't the first time he's seen her doing it

Juvia the secret Jerza shipper ⚔️✨

J: ''Before I leave, I would like to encourage you to do some training of your own.'' E: ''Y-yeah, I'm okay, I think...'' J: ''Your kissing has to be up to snuff, or else Jellal will be displeased!''

I love how Erza is trying not to think about Juvia's words and is also trying to convince herself she's not bothered by that, although you can tell she's clearly disappointed she and Jellal aren't a thing yet (I know they aren't technically a canon couple, but they are canon to me because it's so obvious they have feelings for each other and have so much history together compared to the other big 3 ships) + I love how she starts practicing kissing as well lmao

Tattered Gajeel omake

aww, I love how Gajeel's been taking on more jobs because he and Levy are expecting a baby😭❤️

they look so cute snuggled up against each other + Levy's hand on her baby bump

Lily being a part of their little family, awww

Lucy's Leo x Virgo Star Dress Mix is soooo pretty😭😭😭

I love Lisanna's reaction to the Star Dress Mix lmao

wow, Lisanna getting one-shotted? geez, what a surprise🙄

Mira still standing isn't a shocker considering the fact that SHE'S A S-CLASS MAGE, but Elfman still standing did suprise me though

I LOVED VIRGO NOT SHYING AWAY FROM HER MASOCHISTIC TENDENCIES AND WANTING TO BE PUNISHED

AHHHHHH, A JERZA ENCOUNTER COMING UP! 🎉

I CAN'T WITH THEM

E: ''Why did you strip?'' J: ''Because you're here. Enjoy it.'' 😏😏😏 E: ''Wow, he's completely out of his mind! I've got to take him down before this goes any further.''

Gray vs. Thunder Legion rematch?

I LOVE JEALOUS JUVIA! // ''Has she touched him with the bare skin of her feet?''

nice logic Fried: turning into a demon when you're going against a devil slayer?

is this the same Thunder Legion that kicked ass during the Battle of Fairy Tail arc? welp, they pretty much all got their asses handed to them by Gray lmao

the whole ''stop it, he's already dead'' meme but Fairy Tail edition

they way Gray used Evergreen's and Bickslow's powers to beat them was really hilarious and smart!

aww, I love how Gajeel didn't want to lose yet another battle to Natsu and how upset he was over the fact that Levy joined the battle despite being pregnant; I also can't believe Natsu aimed for LEVY'S STOMACH, but as much as he can be dumb as fuck sometimes, I'm so glad he was hesitant about attacking her in the end

''Because no matter what happens, you are my number one.'' 🖤🧡

sillies🫶🏻

J: ''I almost forgot how strong you are.'' E: ''Stop, you're too close!'' J: ''I'm just trying to get a better look. Who could blame me?''

goofy goobers

sillies #2 🫶🏻

''Woah, looks like I'm interrupting something.'' // WELL LAXUS, YOU MOST CERTAINLY ARE

EVEN THOUGH HE'S BRAINWASHED BY THE WHITE MAGE, JELLAL STILL DOESN'T WANT TO HURT ERZA AND WANTS TO PROTECT HER😭

Wraith's one hell of a weird dude, idc

As much as I really looked forward to all the Jerza moments getting dubbed, this episode wasn't the best one to watch, mostly because of Jellal's VA change (I hope to gods this is just temporary, because no one can do Jellal's voice like Robert McCollum, period).

[valictini]

(Kind of a follow up to my silly little comic since I had WAY too many thoughts and I couldn't fit them in because I wanted it to stay light hearted)

My personal take on komahina is that they both absolutely end up falling in love at some point, but Nagito would never allow Hajime to date him.

(Warning, it’s kinda long)

Not only would he feel like Hajime is too good for him, that Hajime would be wasting his precious time on trash, but it would also make Nagito too happy, and Nagito has a bad tendency to link his happiness with his ultimate luck. It would make him think that the joy of dating Hajime would cause catastrophes, so the best, most hopeful thing he can do is avoid dating altogether. In his head, he’s doing the reasonable thing ! He's shielding everyone from his bad luck ! But he would still love him so he would absolutely tell Hajime how much he means to him and hang out and even flirt with him…. so long as he doesn’t reciprocate. Which would probably upset Hajime at first, thinking he’s being played with.

It would require serious mental wrestling to convince Nagito that it’d be ok for him to date anyone, let alone the Ultimate Ultimate. You’d need to convince him that his happiness isn’t always tied to his luck. Dare I say, you’d have to make it so that him being treated with respect and even affection isn’t an exception anymore, just a normal part of life, thus not something he'd feel overly lucky to have. (That one would be more of a collective, long term effort though)

It’s a very arduous task, especially with how unconvinced Nagito probably would be. ESPECIALLY especially if you take into account the fact that you’re on a goddam timer because of his illness.

There is a possibility that Nagito feels more of an equal to the others post game though, since they were all bad guys and thus, all much closer to his own perceived level of trash (not a particularly good way to think, but it's a start nonetheless) I can see everyone working on themselves and their guilt and learn to forgive themselves for the horrible things they all did, and Nagito on the side being like “you all are doing such a good job!” Without realising that he could apply this to his own existence… though he would probably think it can’t apply to him. In his head, he'll forever be trash.

At the end of the day, I think the quickest way for them to make this happen is for Hajime to bring up his talents and basically tell Nagito that his luck is nothing compared to his own luck, and therefore can’t hurt anyone with it. Althought it's probably the most convincing argument in Nagito's eyes, one might wonder if it's really the best solution for these two, especially for Hajime who most likely has his own bagage to unpack regarding his talents. Like, first of all, is Nagito in love with him or the hope his existence apparently brings to the world? Or maybe even Izuru? There's just.... So much to take into account man

Tl;dr komahina is a really cool concept and they totally fall in love but the real challenge is HOW they end up dating because i can't see Nagito allowing that to happen so easily. To me it would either take an extraordinary amount of hard work AND/OR use Hajime's talent flex. But then is that really a good solution when Hajime probably has a complicated relationship with his talents?

Not saying that it's impossible but yeah. It's so hard to pinpoint how ! And I still feel like I'm missing some parameters !

(Not bashing on anyone else’s interpretations btw, just sharing my own, these two have invaded my brain as you can probably tell)

If you’ve read through all this, congrats, here’s a random sketch I drew while figuring out how to draw the comic lmao

[alena-reblobs]

Trigun Bookclub Trimax Vol5

Vol01: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Vol02: Part 1 | Part 2

Trimax: Vol01 Part 1 Vol01 Part 2 | Vol02 Part 1 Vol02 Part 2 |

Vol 03 Part 1 | Vol03 Part2 | Vol04 Part1 | Vol04 Part2 | Vol05

Here's my Trimax vol5 review! Gonna keep it short because I'm a bit behind and all the good stuff has already been said! :) I'll just be reiterating the stuff I enjoyed and general thoughts! (Also vaguely not spoiler free for around up to vol8.)

Chapter 1:

Oh yeah the July flashback of Vash. God this is so so intense, emotionally. Notonly Vash's faces, but also how the story is told...it really is the mix between incredibly well drawn emotions AND knowing how to build up tension, how to convey the feelings of the characters and everything that makes Trigun so so good.

Look at that beautiful panel sequence of Vash not having a good time #742.

I just love this page as it is so aesthetically pleasing. The qietness. The foot holding in place after Vash nearly stumbling...the self control emitted by the pose only betrayed by the silent tears streaming down his half-hidden face...

Aaaand Zazie left the stage. Man those sand worms are really huge.

And I love how even though Meryl is definitely going through one or possibly THE worst days of her life...she's making this face at the end looking like she goes internally "UGH this CAN'T be happening to me" or "fuck this shit I'm far too cute for this stuff" (my interpretation because she is really cute).

Chapter 2:

Ah the chapter were Wolfwood is creeping up on Midvalley (as far as I understand...since he can't see atm is Wolfwood sensing Midvalley in a way? Like feeling he's here around somewhere.

And then it's Milly who saves Wolfwood and also Vash by getting in the way of Midvalley! (that is correct right? This whole stuff still has me vaguely confused even on my third read) Both girls have such great agenda in this story!

Chapter 3:

*cries* Because he's someone who wants to protect at heart!!! AAAAH!

SUCH a BEAUTIFUL page! Of course also cruel because of the pain Vash endures, his transformation as well...but...it looks just so pretty! So etheral! I think someone else said it looks a bit like a blooming flower and I totally agree!

Little peculiarities, like occasionally closing one eye. I can't cite other moments but I'm sure we've seen the twins do this some times (at least Knives, but I think Vash, too?) Oh oh I just thought of an analysis: Knives doing this, closing one eye...now think of the moment which we'll see in vol07 I think, where he smears blood over half of his face. His duality, little innocent Knives and a tortured Knives that is scared and knows only violence to defend himself. Inner conflict represented by the unconscious tendency to close one eye.

Chapter 4:

Aah now Meryl gets to see Vash's memories. She gets to know and understand him so much better, but it's all a bit too much to take in at once...She'll need time to process all that for sure but in the end I think it was able to make her belief in Vash so much stronger, because she saw what he went through and how he STILL has resolution, and not abandoned hope.

Oh yeah and the scene between Midvalley and Vash. Lots of other readers upset about Midvalley's use of the pronoun "it" for Vash and I too, am appalled as well! You people out there wrote enough great analysis about Midvalley and Wolfwood here and that, so I won't add anything. Just the beautiful contrast of Midvalley calling Vash something so unhuman, and Wolfwood even calling Vash nicknames, which is just the total opposite, and which I find very endearing.

CAAARDGAAMES ON MOTORCYYYCLEEEES

(I hope someone gets the joke so it doesn't seem too random? it was very funny in my head)

Wolfwood sir do you perhaps recognize the look on Midvalley's face as the face of someone who's about to betray and attack their boss? Do you have anything to say on that matter, sir?

Chapter 5:

Oh hmm yummy Legato crushing Midvalley under his bike...yucky

(or as I wrote in my notes in german: JUNGE Legato beruisch disch)

They were also very generous when they worked on Legato's body with the length of the limbs. They are definitely longer than one needs their limbs to be. Or, re-looking at the next chapter, they are the limbs of his helper-underlings? Still too long!

Aaand Zazie is back in a new body!! I love that character, they are so cool!

And of course, the most awesome surprise in this stand-off: MERYL popping out of under Vash's wings and turning the tables completely!!

Chapter 6:

Pages that make me love this poor boy even more, #4522

#4523

#4524 (the storytelling!!! raaaah)

Oh yeah and these pages below:

This chapter just has so many strong pages, depicting Vash's turmoil in general (and probably in this moment where he is caught into this transformed state)

And we get Elendira in this chapter!! She's the coolest B)

Even though filled with nothing but hatred towards Vash, this guy gets it (Vash is just such a pretty boy)

Awww this hug is too sweet!

And that's it for this volume!

[birdofmay]

i totally understand if you don't want to answer this, because of the situation with the other bad faith anon, and i hope this isn't triggering or upsetting, and i'm really sorry if it is.

so if you feel comfortable - i'm confused about what you said about FC, because i looked it up as i was unfamiliar and was only able to come up with sources that say it's scientifically discredited. how can their be studies that support something if it just isn't scientifically supported?

again, i understand i probably sound a lot like the other anon, but i'm just confused because while i think it's horrible that someone is going around trying to pick fights and discredit actual real autistic people on tumblr, i think there's a piece i'm missing on whether FC is real or not. any guidance or information or perspective you have would be appreciated, but i am not expecting a response as this seems like a pretty serious issue right now that you're having to deal with.

sorry to bother, hope you have a good rest of your day!

I re-read my text and figured that it could come across a little rude or angry. So just to reassure you: I'm not angry, I simply explain things.

What I meant with this post was that it was a website that didn't even try to come up with some possible "good points", even if it only would be "Well, in the end we can't look in the individual's head, and therefore we could miss something. If it helps the individual to get used to pointing to things until eventually they develop the ability to do so themself, that's good. We should make people aware that it's easy to abuse people without actually having this intention, but there are only tendencies in science, never a complete yes or no, but rather "leaning to yes" or "leaning to no", or if it is, then it's only a temporary "yes" or "no" until proven otherwise.

I can't process complex language, and unfortunately studies are written in complex language, so I'm not the best person to ask about studies.

But I know that until not that long ago science thought that autistics who struggle greatly to communicate were always intellectually disabled because it wasn't always possible to reliably test that. They saw that those of us who were diagnosed with "Kanner autism" often didn't understand what they wanted from us and that we scored low on IQ tests. So their conclusion was that we are intellectually disabled. It didn't occur to them that it was their approach that was wrong or that we couldn't let our body do what we wanted it to do. They couldn't look into our heads, they made conclusions only on what they could observe.

People also thought that I was intellectually disabled at first. I didn't understand what they wanted me to do in those IQ tests. And they couldn't tell me because my language processing was bad. I didn't even understand spoken language until I was 3 years old. And I can't speak, so they couldn't ask me. It was only because I could read at a really young age that people suddenly questioned their assumptions about me.

And there are autistics who couldn't read at a young age and can't communicate their abilities to other people.

And that's what bothers me and what I meant. It could be possible that our approach to FC is wrong and we're not aware of it because those who actually benefit from FC aren't able to tell us that reliably. And this website doesn't even think of that possibility, even though it happened SO often that scientists were wrong about an established point of view regarding autism. It still happens very often. And it takes psychologists/neurologist/etc. extremely long to get rid of their outdated viewpoints when it comes to autism.

So yeah. Even if you can't find studies that support it, it's always possible that their approach doesn't cover certain things and that we miss something because these people simply can't reliably tell us what's going on. We should always keep this possibility in mind. We can't say that something is "always absolutely bad" if it's about a group of people that can't communicate on their own.

Slightly off topic but: There once was a study that tested if a "gaydar" is real. They showed participants photos of people, and the participants should tell if the person in the picture was LGBT+ or not. Most people didn't even get 50% right. The conclusion of this study was that a gaydar isn't real.

........they literally told people that what they definitely experience isn't real. Even though these people do experience it. Strange, huh? Yeah, it was because of the pictures. It works with real people in a real situation in real life. The picture approach was flawed.

Now imagine people benefit from FC and that's their reality, but the studies' approach is wrong. We don't know that for sure.