#(and the letters and the graves. which. You Know)

[echotunes]

wipes single tear from eye. it's beautiful (the extensive list of references on pac's miraheze wiki page)

[beloveds-embrace]

(john price x reader who basically manifests him into her life)

It all started with a pie.

A blackberry pie, to be exact. One that you’d spent a good part of the morning perfecting- balancing the sweetness and tartness with the precision of a master alchemist concocting a love potion. You were almost convinced that this particular pie might finally be the answer to your mother’s prayers: an offering so mouthwatering that it would distract her from once again insisting you marry that insufferably dull miller’s son, Thomas.

You had just placed it on the windowsill to cool, the aroma curling through the cottage like a siren’s song, when your mother barged in, cheeks flushed with determination. “I’ve invited Thomas for supper.” She announced, as if she was a witch summoning a dark spirit.

You almost dropped the teapot. “Mother, no.”

“Mother, yes. Darling, you’re not getting any younger.” She clasped her hands like a pious martyr, staring heavenward as if appealing for divine assistance. “Why, you are practically ancient now. Do you know how many children I had at your age? Three! And you- still unmarried. People are talking.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but that’s when inspiration struck. Perhaps it was the sweetness of the pie that made your thoughts reckless, or perhaps the desperation of avoiding Thomas’s endless ramblings about grain prices, and so you straightened your spine. “… But I already have a suitor.”

Your mother paused, mouth pursed like she’d bitten into a particularly sour lemon. “You what?”

“Yes.” You adjusted your apron with all the gravitas of a queen revealing her long-lost heir, except you were revealing a beloved. “He’s a soldier. Off fighting bravely in the war. Captain… John Price.” You plucked the name from thin air, thinking it sounded stalwart, military-ish and utterly believable.

Your mother’s eyes narrowed. “And why haven’t I heard of this… Captain before?”

“Well, we didn’t want to make a fuss. You know how people talk.”

Her suspicion melted, replaced with gleaming hope. “A soldier, you say? A captain?”

“Yes,” you continued, your voice growing bolder. Let ir never be said that you did not inherit some of your father’s love for theatrics. “He writes to me. Beautiful letters, whenever he has the chance to, and I always reply. I’ll… I’ll show you one!”

That’s how you found yourself hunched over your rickety desk that night, ink staining your fingers, spinning an epic tale of love and longing so good you justknew Shakespeare was probably rolling in his grave

Dear Captain John Price,

My heart is but a lonely swallow without you. The days stretch long and tiresome in your absence, but I hold steadfast, knowing that one day you will return to me- my brave, rugged soldier.

Yours, faithfully.

You took great care in writing the letter, wanting it to look as if it had been penned by a devoted girl waiting patiently for her beloved captain. Before folding it, you pressed a dried flower between the pages and lightly scented the paper with a dab of your favorite perfume, the fragrance soft and sweet, leaving no doubt that the writer was a gentle, affectionate soul and not an absolutely insane woman tricking her parents. You even tied it with a delicate ribbon, imagining how any soldier would feel cherished to receive such a letter.

To your utter (non)surprise, it worked. Your mother clutched the letter to her chest with a tearful sigh, whispering something about true love. And from that moment on, Captain John Price became your imaginary lover, a sturdy bulwark against matchmaking attempts.

And so, the years passed, and John Price became a part of your life. You wrote letters to him whenever the pressure to marry reached critical mass, each one a little more elaborate than the last. You even took to carrying one of his supposed letters (which you also wrote yourself) in your apron pocket, just in case anyone questioned your devotion.

You never expected, however, for the Captain himself to show up at your doorstep.

It was a crisp autumn evening when the knock came. You barely registered it, too busy trying to salvage the stew that was steadfastly refusing to thicken. When the knock came again, louder and more insistent, you huffed and flung open the door, still clutching your wooden spoon like a weapon and a mighty glare on your face.

There stood a man. A mountain of a man, truthfully. Tall, broad-shouldered, with a commanding presence that seemed to make the very air hold its breath. His face was framed by a well-groomed beard, his eyes a piercing blue beneath a well-worn cap. And clutched in his large hand was a bundle of letters- scarily familiar letters, actually.

His mouth curved into a slow, wolfish grin. “Well, love. You’ve got some explainin’ to do.”

You froze, spoon hovering mid-air. “You- how- who are you?”

He chuckled, the sound more than a little smug. “Name’s Captain John Price. You might recognize me from your rather… heartfelt correspondence.” He held up one of the letters, the familiar scrawl of your handwriting a stark betrayal.

Your stomach dropped. “…Coincidence.”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” he drawled, stepping inside as if he owned the place. “Imagine my surprise when your letters kept landing in my hands. At first, I thought it was just some lonely girl scribbling fantasies. But the boys kept handin’ them to me- said they lifted spirits, readin’ how you were waitin’ for me.”

You spluttered, backing up as he prowled forward. “But- how did they-“

He shrugged, almost casual. “You put my name and rank on the letters. Found their way to me eventually. You’ve been rather… devoted, haven’t you?”

You sputtered. “Devoted? I was just- avoiding marriage!”

His eyes darkened, jaw tightening. “Didn’t stop me from thinking about it. About you. When I read how you longed for me- waited so faithfully- made a man think. Would’ve kept any other bastard from sniffin’ around, I’d hope.”

Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth. “I didn’t think you were real!”

He leaned closer, the scent of tobacco and gunpowder curling around you like a trap. “Oh, I’m real, love. And now I’m here. Reckon you owe me a bit of hospitality after all those love letters, no?”

Your mouth opened and closed like a landed fish.

“Didn’t matter if you didn’t mean it, you still wrote it. Made me think of comin’ home to you, of claimin’ what’s mine.” His fingers brushed your jaw, thumb tracing your cheek with surprising tenderness. “You made yourself mine. And now, I’ve come to collect.”

Before you can muster a protest, he leans down, capturing the corner of your lips in a kiss, your face frozen solid in shock. When he finally pulls back, his thumb brushes your swollen lip.

“That clear enough for you, wife?”

p2

[alovelywaytospendanevening]

Edward Carpenter was at the forefront of British romantic socialism, whose philosophy was inspired by Walt Whitman but had a clear political agenda and active "engagement" to radically reform social institutions. He practiced what he preached, giving away most of his money and earning a subsistence living as a sandal-maker as well as lecturer and journalist. His book of poetry Towards Democracy, consciously modelled upon Whitman’s Calamus poems, is a forthright celebration of gay love. George Merrill was an uneducated odd-job man from the slums whom Carpenter first met at a railway station in 1891 and with whom he eventually developed a romantic relationship. Carpenter described him as "the most interesting and satisfying character I have ever met. Knowing as I do thousands of people of all classes—and many very intimately—I still doubt whether I found anyone more natively human, loving and affectionate, and withal endowed with more generous good sense and tact than he." Carpenter’s philosophy of brotherhood was no abstract concept; he had occasional affairs with some of the intellectuals and gay writers who came on pilgrimage to his home at Millthorpe, and Merrill had occasional flings with hired hands and the local farm boys. Merrill served as a model for the game-keeper in E. M. Forster’s gay novel Maurice, which Forster acknowledged was a direct result of a visit to Carpenter.

In his later years, Merrill would often be found drunk and incapable in their front garden; but Carpenter’s affection never wavered. Fairness makes it necessary to add that Merrill was a gay fellow, naturally musical—he would sing Schubert while Carpenter accompanied him on the piano—and expert at housekeeping. While inclined to be moody, he could be the life and soul of the party. His early letters to Carpenter testify to a genuine affection. He once chased away a clergyman who came to the door to give him a tract: "Keep your tract," said Merrill, "I don’t want it. Can’t you see we’re in heaven here—We don’t want any better than this, so go away." Carpenter took Merrill to live with him at Millthorpe in 1898, and they remained together till the latter’s death in 1928. "They are putting him in the cold earth," Carpenter cried, and for the short remainder of his life he seemed but the ghost of a man. A year later, he was buried in the same grave.

— Rictor Norton, My Dear Boy: Gay Letters Through the Centuries (1998) & Edward Carpenter, Edward Carpenter: A Restatement and Reappraisal (1970)

[stiltonbasket]

Short crack Prompt:

Wei Wuxian inherited many things from his mother, but he got his father's hair, thick, long, lustrous and silky. His hair has always been longer than most and darker than midnight. He doesn't want to cut it, but hates it coming onto his face, on his hands on his sword while he's doing anything, THUS, ✨he braids it✨.

It's a long thick braid, reaching below his thighs and sitting on his shoulders without his permission. Whenever he turns around or is sword drilling, it swishes behind him like it has a life of it's own.

Bonus: wwx in braid is many people's gay / straight awakening. Jc and yzh has to keep away suiters (and creeps) behind wwx , cuz he's oblivious to other's crush on him. As he's busy looking at lwj 🙃

"Lan-xiong," Nie Huaisang says one afternoon, while Lan Wangji is trying to meditate in the courtyard behind the Yashi. "There's something you ought to know before the guest disciples get here."

Lan Wangji squints at him.

"What is it?" he says flatly. Knowing Nie Huaisang as he does, he guesses that Huaisang intends to relay some piece of gossip; but as telling tales about others is strictly forbidden in the Cloud Recesses, Nie Huaisang ought to know better than to attempt such a thing before the clan's Head of Discipline.

"It's about Yunmeng Jiang," Nie Huaisang says.

"What about Yunmeng Jiang?" Lan Wangji has had little to do with the cultivators of Yunmeng Jiang, but he doubts that a class of their most talented disciples could cause much trouble at the lectures. "Have Jiang-zongzhu's daughter and her shidimei decided not to come?"

Nie Huaisang waves his fan in dismissal. "Oh, nothing so serious as that. It's only—well, have you heard of Wei Wuxian?"

"Briefly. He is Jiang-zongzhu's head disciple, is he not?"

The aforementioned Wei Wuxian's instatement as head disciple was an occasion of some note in the Jianghu, Lan Wangji remembers. For one thing, Wei Wuxian is not a bloodline member of the clan: though this is not so uncommon amongst the latest generation of head disciples, especially in sects where clan disciples are not the majority. For another, Wei Wuxian was apparently disfavored by his shimu from the day Jiang Fengmian first brought him to Lotus Pier at the age of five—and when the news of his appointment reached Lanling Jin last year, there was a great deal of murmuring about how Yu Ziyuan had taken it.

"He is the head disciple," Nie Huaisang says gravely, "but that is of no importance here. The trouble is—oh, it's just a word, don't look like that—is that Wei-gongzi is a calamitous beauty, and his shidimen wrote to me asking whether the Cloud Recesses would be willing to assist in his protection during the lectures."

He holds out a letter and passes it to Lan Wangji. "Here. Jiang-xiong explained everything."

Much to Lan Wangji's regret, the letter's contents are exactly as Nie Huaisang described them. Apparently, Wei Wuxian—referred to in the letter as da-shixiong, as it had been penned by Jiang Wanyin and his biaodi Yu Zhenhong—is both too handsome for his own good and dangerously charming; and as a result, Jiang Wanyin professes, his shixiong leaves a trail of broken hearts wherever he goes.

The last time we visited Lanling—which we would not have done if we had any choice, but the fact of my sister's betrothal ensured that we had precious little say in the matter—five of Jin Zixuan's cousins came to blows at the sight of my shige, each insisting that she and no other would be engaged to him in the future, Jiang Wanyin writes. One of the girls jilted her intended on the spot, vowing that she no longer wished to see him again as long as Wei Wuxian walked the earth; and her intended tore off the yaopei she had gifted him and flung it into the nearest koi pond before declaring that she need not worry about keeping their engagement, for he no longer had any love for her and now wished to bring our da-shixiong into his clan as a bride.

Lan Wangji looks up in dismay. "What?"

"Read on," Nie Huaisang advises grimly. "It gets worse."

Yesterday, he stole a flower from a local bun-girl and went to market with the bloom behind his ear; and later, we received news that the sight of him caused six carriages, nine produce wagons, and two riders on horseback to crash when he stopped to cross the street. He returned home after buying all the ruined produce and helping the women who were bruised in the melee, without the slightest idea that it only occurred because the driver of the first carriage was blinded by the sunlight reflected upon his hair; and the next morning, Fuqin received so many petitioners asking for Wei Wuxian's hand in marriage that he hung a sign at the gates to announce that he would entertain no suitors until after Wei Wuxian comes of age.

"Guanyin in heaven," Lan Wangji hears himself croak, stunned. "How—?"

Nie Huaisang shrugs. "If you ask me, it's the hair."

Lan Wangji shakes his head and looks back down at the letter in disbelief.

Thus, it is my hope that you will inform the second Young Master Lan about the two latest incidents, and impress upon him the importance of restraint in the Lan disciples—and in all the others who will come to study under Lan-laoshi—well before we arrive. (This passage is written in a more graceful hand, likely Yu Zhenhong's.) Our seventh shimei once fell off the pier and into the lake because da-shixiong smiled at her, and no trouble came of it because Lingxi-shimei is a strong swimmer; but if Lan-laoshi's disciples keep falling down the mountain because da-shixiong braided his hair instead of putting it up, someone might truly end up coming to harm.

"This beggars belief," Lan Wangji says doubtfully. "Can one man truly...?"

"I've seen him," Nie Huaisang replies. "And yes. Keep reading."

"'And if it would not be too much trouble,'" Lan Wangji reads aloud, "'please also consult Lan-er-gongzi or Zewu-jun on the subject of da-shixiong's safety.' Safety?"

Nie Huaisang winces. "Wei-xiong is very lovely to look upon," he offers, "and from his dress, it is not always clear that he has the backing of a great sect. Some men do not take well to being told no by a beauty."

"And by some men, you mean the men of Lanling Jin?"

"One never knows where such dangers may come from," Nie Huaisang tells him. "But if you ask me, you ought to keep an eye on the Jins anyway. Apart from Jin Zixuan, I doubt there's a single man in this year's course who doesn't hate Wei Wuxian for enchanting all the Jin girls."

Lan Wangji nods and rises to his feet. "I will handle this matter," he says decisively, turning towards the open door to the Lanshi. "You write back to Jiang-gongzi, and inform him that the Cloud Recesses will be duly prepared for his shige's arrival."

The Lan disciples are prepared accordingly; for over the next week, Lan Wangji orders all the male disciples between fifteen and twenty-five to copy the sect precepts concerning restraint, and ensures that none of the maiden disciples over the age of twelve will have cause to meet Wei Wuxian save for his own sect sisters. Fortunately for everyone concerned, Wei-gongzi is said to be twice as brilliant as he is beautiful: which means that Shufu is easily persuaded to place him in the advanced lectures reserved for disciples who would be hampered by study with the rest of their age-mates. Lan Wangji is the sole male disciple allowed to attend those lectures; so for much of his time at the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian's only classmates will be a pair of married women and Lan Wangji himself.

Lan Wangji thinks better of the arrangement three weeks later, when he is carried to the infirmary after meeting Wei Wuxian on the mountain path and falling thirty feet into a copse of trees below.

"I'm so sorry. Lan-er-gongzi, I'm really sorry," Wei Wuxian gasps, gripping Lan Wangji's clenched fists as Xiongzhang and one of the healers set his broken legs at the other end of the bed. "You can hold on as tightly as you like, all right? Zewu-jun is nearly finished."

Lan Wangji closes his eyes tightly.

"What have I done?" he hears Wei Wuxian mutter to himself. "I'm so clumsy. I'll look after you until you're better again, second Young Master, just say the word and I—"

"Lan Zhan."

Lan Wangji feels his brother's fingers twitch against his knee.

"What?"

"Not—not Lan-er-gongzi," Lan Wangji wheezes. "You may call me Lan Zhan."

Wei Wuxian beams at him with tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. "You're not angry?"

"No."

His eyes fall shut again, provoking a sound of utter desolation from Wei Wuxian. "Here, I'll take that ribbon off," Wei Wuxian says soothingly, his rough hands stroking Lan Wangji's hot forehead. "Your ears are burning up. You'll feel better as soon as it's gone."

At the foot of the bed, Lan Xichen makes a choking sound: but Lan Wangji cannot bring himself to care.

"Mm," Lan Wangji sighs, smiling. "Thank you, Young Master Wei."

[deebris]

The Misteryous Visitor 4

Batfamily x batsis (platonic!)

Synopsis: Bruce finally confronts Damian, and hates how tonight's events seemed to turn out just to remind him what a terrible father he is. He felt like he didn't deserve you, and he wanted at all costs to avenge the injustice Talia committed with you two.

Warnings: Family discussion; maternal overprotection; Bruce has psychiatric problems and is mentally unstable, besides being very angry; mentions depression, post-traumatic stress and the like.

Word count: 3.7k

Note: I apologize for taking so long to post the fourth part. I was looking for inspiration to continue in other fandoms. Now I feel engaged again to continue posting

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

"She is not a secret." Damian tried to sound firm, looking Bruce in the eyes to avoid suspicion. But no matter what he did or how long he tried to maintain the lie, his father had already decided what to think about this enigmatic and strange situation.

"Hmm..." He let out a disheartened murmur, and the boy never thought something like this would happen, but he frowned with worry as he saw Bruce pour another drink. It wasn't like his father to act this way.

When Damian first met him in person at ten years old, he could have sworn Bruce and Talia were somewhat enjoying themselves that day, even with the barbs hidden in some exchanged sentences. Or maybe he was mistaken; after all, it had been so long. Perhaps he had preserved a false memory.

"How much have you drunk?" The boy asked with a disdainful voice, trying to hide that he was truly concerned.

"Why have you never talked about her? She is your sister, Damian." Bruce ignored the question but in a kind of silent acknowledgment, he rested the glass on the side table, preventing himself from getting drunk.

"Why are you acting like this? As if it's a big deal." He made a face of confusion. "Why do you care so much about this? She isn't even your problem. I won't stay here being interrogated because of her." Damian got up, taking hurried steps to the front door. He was running away, and he knew it.

"Where are you going?" Bruce stood to follow him, finally showing some kind of emotion beyond stoicism since they had been alone in the room.

"I'm going to wait for my mother outside. And when she appears, I'll come back to fetch Y/n. Then you won't have to see her anymore, ever again." Damian said, and although Bruce didn't know if in the last part his son was referring to you or Talia, he didn't dare ask for the detail.

"Why didn't you ask any of us for help when you found out she was missing? If she is someone so close to you, you could have talked to us." Bruce was speaking in that strange way again, like when he found out Jason was the Red Hood. He was hurt, and as if a whistle had snapped in his mind, Damian understood that his father was like this because of him. It wasn't Talia or how she always ended up causing problems; it was him. "You hid from me that you were still talking to your mother."

"And did I need to inform you that I talk to my mother?" The boy tried to maintain a haughty tone, repressing the urge to shout so that Bruce wouldn't see his conflicting feelings.

The truth is that it hurt to lie like this. It hurt even more to lie to you. Damian didn't show or openly say what he felt; his mother once told him that was weakness, but honestly, now he was disgusted with himself.

"You didn't need to inform me, but you made an effort to hide it!" Bruce didn't shout. His voice was grave, authoritative, and deep down had a tone of betrayal that had twice the impact of a shout. He seemed to reflect on something, and patiently Damian awaited a lamentable outburst, but just as he himself would do, Bruce was avoiding becoming emotional.

"I don't understand why, but you came to live with me and seemed to exclude her from your life because of us. She is your sister and didn't even know I am your father! You sent letters, which I'm sure you hid not just from me but from her too. And she ended up here in the middle of the night like a fugitive. Will you tell me again that all this has no reason?"

"Even if there were a reason, it wouldn't be your business." The young man replied harshly, and once again: it was a lie. It was his business. Seeing Bruce's angry scowl turn into a defeated look made one of his fingers tremble. Realizing only after saying something that what he did was wrong made a panic arise in his chest.

Bruce sat back in the armchair, giving up on the discussion once and for all. He felt so stupid for thinking he was succeeding in freeing his son from the League of Assassins' clutches, that he was doing a good job showing him he didn't need the blind loyalty Talia taught him to have. He feared that Damian would succumb to a villain's life, exactly as Ra's al Ghul wanted Bruce to be: cruel and ruthless.

Talia stirred bad reactions in him, and his sense of justice hammered in his head. How could he simply hand you back into her hands after you came here tonight? That woman was a bad influence on anyone, and it didn't matter if you were her daughter; you were a child. And wasn't that what he did with all his children? Took them from the streets and bad parents?

He wanted to vomit at the idea of allowing you to continue being raised by someone like her, among those people, but if he couldn't even change Damian, what could he do for you? Bruce couldn't force you to stay, but at the same time, he grappled with the internal conflict of corroborating that one day you would become like they. He is Batman, his duty is to protect. He should protect you too.

Bruce rubbed his eyes, feeling an intense headache and he day was already dawning again"Your mother isn't coming, Damian." He asserted, noticing that a long time had passed since they started waiting, getting up to return to his own room.

"You said we had a lot to talk about." Suddenly, the boy felt the need to prolong the conversation, if this could even be considered a conversation. It was as if they would never speak again if he allowed his father to leave.

"We don't anymore." Was cold, and that made the boy swallow hard. Bruce knew he would regret being so harsh, but at that moment, he wasn't thinking straight. The rational part of his brain was being dominated by his impulsive side.

Bruce opened his bedroom door with unusual violence. Lately, these episodes of anger were frequent, perhaps due to interrupted sleep; this damned insomnia was worse than in the last months. Alfred had already suggested he see a psychiatrist, but Bruce was sure he would leave there with a worse diagnosis than expected, so he avoided it as much as possible.

The butler once dared to mention that he might have some type of post-traumatic stress, but Bruce was stubborn and that led to an argument. He was a controlled man, but that day he shouted. The reaction was not unexpected, considering the tension from the chaos Scarecrow was causing in the city at the time, but Alfred was observant and knew the problems went beyond that.

The death of his parents was a delicate subject, and combined with the pressure of being Batman, Alfred saw Bruce become more obsessive, anxious, and even depressed over the years. Fortunately, the emergence of Dick was a break in the sad loneliness for him. And then came Jason, Tim, Damian, and things improved for a while, but the relapses still existed.

Bruce sighed as he admired his bed, wishing he could sleep again, but knowing he wouldn't be able to without taking another dose of pills, which certainly wasn't an option. Then he noticed your coat there. The garment had been left in his room, carefully placed on the arm of the room's couch.

He walked over and picked up the coat, rubbing the soft fabric with melancholy and noting how well-kept the garment was. It would probably be a good idea to return it to you; Would also be an opportunity to check if you were well accommodated.

Cautiously, he walked to the guest wing. Bruce thought he would need to check the rooms one by one to discover where Alfred had placed you, but a beam of light leaking from one of the doors indicated which one. He hesitated to turn the knob; it felt too intrusive. So, he knocked: three soft taps on the wood. He waited a few seconds, but you didn't come to open it, and he gave in to the act of opening it himself.

In slow movements, he leaned to look inside the room, without entering yet and checking if everything was okay. He saw your figure well wrapped in the covers, eyes closed and breathing in a consistent rhythm. You were sleeping, and the light he saw was the bedside lamp.

He entered, doing everything to control his steps, going to a chair to place the coat there. He felt the need to be gentle with the garment for some reason, handling the coat with such care, as if holding you in his hands.

He was envious of how pleasant your sleep seemed, wishing he could sleep like that too. He thought of turning off the lamp, but regretted it when he saw that his act interrupted your sleep. As soon as everything went dark, he heard the rustle of the covers, signaling that you had woken up. You stayed still for a while, staring at the shadow in front of you, knowing someone was there but too embarrassed to ask who it was, until the light was turned back on and you saw Mr. Wayne.

"Sorry, I think I woke you," he said softly, genuinely feeling guilty. "I brought your coat. I left it to dry better; it's still a bit wet," he continued, gesturing towards the chair.

"Thank you, Mr. Wayne," you replied groggily due to the minutes you spent sleeping. Thinking he would leave, you clasped your hands as if praying and placed them under your cheek on the pillow. A common but funny position.

"Call me just Bruce," he sat on the edge of the bed, looking at your face. He had a question stuck in his throat and thought it would be a good idea to start a conversation. "Are you okay?"

"I am. Thank you for letting me sleep at your house." you answered serenely, and he nodded in agreement. "And you?" You asked back. Bruce blinked, surprised by your question, realizing that your eyes were shining. The truth is he couldn't say how he felt, so he said what anyone would say: 

"Yes, I'm okay," he said, more focused on your face, knowing you might be uncomfortable with that but wanting to see you better. 

“Can I ask you something?” He seemed anxious, and you waited expectantly in silence, which he took as a yes. “Why did your mother separate you two like that? Why didn’t she tell you anything?”

You stared at a random spot on the mattress, feeling a pang in your chest at the memory. “She did, in a way. Mom doesn’t like you very much, Mr. Wayne. I think that’s why,” you said, looking back at him, seeing him raise his eyebrows in amusement; you corrected yourself with a gasp: “Bruce.”

“Did she speak badly of me to you?” Bruce was curious like a silly child, even though a serious scowl was etched on his face.

“Not exactly about you. Mom and Grandpa hate Batman.” By this point, you had already figured it out. It wasn’t hard to connect the dots between your family and Robin with him after a few minutes of reflection. “It’s you, isn’t it?”

Bruce let out a dry laugh, caught off guard. “Yes, it’s me,” he confirmed, and you shifted to sit more upright on the bed, excited.

“Is it true that you killed the Joker?” Your question made Bruce’s scowl turn puzzled. So that was the kind of rumor circulating.

“No, I didn’t kill him. He just... disappeared one day,” the same day Bruce thought he had lost Jason, and although deep down he wanted very much to have done it, he didn’t find it appropriate to admit that to you.

“I’m confused,” your voice became more relaxed, he thought it was due to the casual tone the conversation was taking. “If Damian is Robin now, what happened to the other one? He didn’t die, did he?” You asked the last question in a whisper, fearing it was true.

Bruce laughed at this. He had never thought about how people assumed Robin was a single person all these years. “No, he’s fine. You’d be surprised if I told you five different people have been Robin.”

Your eyes widened, and suddenly you remembered a detail: “There was a girl, wasn’t there? I remember seeing some photos in an old newspaper.”

Bruce was perplexed at how much you seemed to know about him, but in a good way. “Yes, there was a girl. She’s Batgirl now,” when he said that, your smile widened even more. It seemed like you were a secret fan, he would say, since in your own words: "Talia hates him" and Bruce knows she would hardly allow you to have such admiration.

But your smile faded, and that worried him for a moment until you spoke: “I didn’t know that man was Hugo Strange,” you looked at him with regret. “If I had known, I would have caught him for you.”

“Would you?” He asked, doubting you really could.

“Well... I would have tried,” you defended yourself, shrugging your shoulders.

“Very brave. But it’s good you didn’t do anything,” he said playfully, stopping to think for a moment. “Y/n, what did he tell you?”

He saw you wrinkle your nose in a grimace before answering. “I thought we met by chance. I was walking and saw a man smoking a cigarette on a corner. I was going to walk past, but then he asked if I needed help.”

“Which corner?”

“I don’t know, but it wasn’t far from home. I was trying to figure out the street on a map I found in the municipal library’s phone book,” you sighed, frustrated at not being able to give the information. “I ignored him, but he followed me. I got scared and started running, but he said he was a cop, so I trusted him.”

“Did he have a police car nearby?”

“He said he was undercover. But I don’t know what that means; I thought it was the same as being off duty.”

“It could mean that too.” Bruce saw your guilty expression, your lip trembling and your hands nervous.

“You don’t need to feel bad for believing him,” his larger hand enveloped both of yours like they were nothing. Were warm, and it was comforting. “I know Damian said horrible things, but he speaks in the heat of the moment.”

“It was not in the heat of the moment... He never just speaks,” your voice dropped so low it was almost inaudible. Your eyes burned, but there were no tears. Crying for your brother would be the last thing you would do again. “What was in the box?”

“What box?” He was confused by your sudden change of subject.

“Didn’t Dick give it to you?” You asked, feeling his hand move away from yours and touch his left pocket. What Dick had given him was a card and not a box. Maybe he had taken what was inside. “I guess he forgot.”

“No. He didn’t forget,” he quickly responded, snapping out of a stupor. A curiosity grew in his chest, a need to know what was in that card.

Bruce fumbled in the pocket where the card still was and pulled it out. He quickly examined the paper, turning it over to check the back for anything. For a long time, his voice was muffled, and Bruce could only hear a buzzing in his ear. It was impossible for those words to have any real meaning. His breathing became loud and shaky, as if he were in the cold, and you were startled to see his eyes blinking frantically.

“Are you okay?” You moved to approach him, seeing moisture suddenly form on his forehead. It was cold sweat.

“How is this possible?” You heard him ask himself, bringing his fingertips to his eyes, rubbing them to make sure he was really seeing. That card had left him unsettled, you realized, and hesitantly, you tried to take it from his hands to remove it from him, but his grip tightened at the feel of your fingers, so tight that it completely crumpled the paper. “Sorry. It’s nothing,” he stammered, seeing that the abrupt movement had scared you.

He got up from the bed, completely oblivious to you or anything else now. He staggered before reaching the door, very disturbed and seeming out of it. Maybe it was you who did something wrong and didn’t realize it?

He didn’t seem fit to walk, so you quickly removed the covers from your legs and went to him, supporting and guiding him to the chair where he had left his coat. He was very heavy, but he was so disoriented that he went limp. He seemed so shaken that he didn’t protest and simply sat there. You stood in front of him for a few seconds, not knowing what else to do to help him.

“Shouldn’t I call someone?” You asked.

“Dick,” he mumbled without looking at you, and that worried. It seemed intentional, as if it was too difficult to face you.

“Where do I find him?”

He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking of something, but Damian’s voice on the other side of the door caught his attention:

“Y/n, open the door.” You stood still, recognizing your brother’s voice, until he continued: “Mom is here. She’s going to take you home,” he said as a warning, opening the door after a moment without even asking. “Come on. Why are you standing there like a statue?”

He was perplexed when you didn’t respond, and then he noticed his father sitting beside you in terror.

“Dad?” He approached, kneeling to assess the severity. He was having another episode. Lately, Bruce had only been getting worse every day and still refused to ask for help.

“What happened?” Your brother turned to you, but your face already showed that you had no idea.

Damian tried to place his hand on his shoulder, but Bruce pushed it away aggressively. Your father would never act like this just because of the argument they had before, much less give him a venomous look as he did now, but beneath it all, there was hurt. He had found out about you, somehow.

He should have felt bad about how the news seemed to have been revealed, but he was relieved not to have to lie anymore. At the same time, he regretted choosing to cater to his mother’s whims once again, deceiving his father this way. But the omission had grown so much over the years he spent in the mansion and, after so long, it didn’t matter when he told him, the damage was already done.

Bruce wasn’t in a perfect mental state. He wouldn’t react like this normally, and knowing that, the man felt pathetic in front of the two of you.

“He asked for Dick,” you said to Damian, giving him space to breathe by stepping back.

“Forget Dick,” Bruce replied firmly, surprising. In an instant, he had a fit, and as quickly as he entered this state, he left it. Now, he seemed furious. “Where is she?”

This was a ploy by Talia and Strange. They were planning this together to hit him, a way to weaken him. It could only be that. It was too much of a coincidence Strange had found you just that night; nothing made sense. When had he and Talia gotten involved again after that day that led to Damian? He couldn’t remember and wasn’t good at recalling such old things. Maybe that wasn't even true. It was as if there was a big blank page in his mind.

“Get out,” Talia’s silhouette appeared at the door where she was leaning. Like most times when referring to the children, her voice was imposing, leaving no room for contestation. “Both of you.”

“You were supposed to wait downstairs,” your brother tried to contradict her. Despite everything he did for your mother, unlike you, he was the only one who had the courage to face her.

Her frown deepened at Damian’s defiance, but her stern expression softened at your trembling voice: ‘Mom...’ She sighed and opened her arms to you, casting a challenging look at Bruce, who returned it with an even harsher one, as she wrapped your smaller body than hers in a tight hug.

She knelt to your level, her hands gently brushing your cheeks and hair, noting how frizzy and messy it was. ‘Look at you. Your hair is all disheveled.’ She ran a finger down to your lip, grimacing at the cut there.

‘I’m sorry.’ Although less anxious now that you knew she wasn’t angry, you still regretted disobeying her.

‘My sweet girl,’ she said in a soft, genuinely affectionate voice. She kissed your cheek, casting that same malicious glance at Bruce again, as if provoking him. He felt a wave of nausea seeing her use you as a pawn just to taunt him. ‘Let the adults talk,’ she ordered, standing up and regaining her authoritative tone.

‘I’m staying,’ Damian protested. Leaving his father alone with her in his vulnerable state was a mistake.

‘Go and stay with your sister, Damian,’ Bruce was as harsh as Talia, but unlike her, he was seething with anger.

The boy closed his eyes in frustration but gave in, knowing it was useless to argue. He glanced at you, who had already walked out of the room and into the hallway. Damian was about to follow, but his father’s voice stopped him again:

‘She’s not leaving the house, Damian,’ his firm tone carried the weight of undeniable authority, with bitterness seeping through. The coldness in his voice left no room for warmth; it was distant. Bruce had finally gotten the push he needed. The possibility of you being his daughter gave him a sense of entitlement, and it made Talia’s arrogant expression falter for a moment; she looked apprehensive. ‘Do you understand?’ It was a question directed at both his son and Talia.

‘Yes,’ the young man replied simply, avoiding eye contact with his mother as he left. Damian paused in front of the door before fully departing, and his mother slammed it shut in his face.

He resisted the urge to eavesdrop and turned to look for you in the hallway, but you had vanished.

‘I deserve this,’ he muttered impatiently. You were avoiding him, and Damian couldn’t help but feel irritated at how childish that was. But he was one of the villains here; he was the one who lied, insulted, and rejected you. Realizing this filled him with shame, and unlike the first time, he repeated the words, this time with a tone of regret: ‘Yes, I deserve this.’"

Tag list:

@lafrone @sylum @mileskisser @belowbreadcrumbs @riddle-me-im-sirius

@rafa-the-beautiful @shehrazadekey @fairuzwhat @bedeater @arianapjs

@idonthaveanameforthisacc @azulawayne @nciolisa @lovelywritersgarden

@spideybv28 @faimmm @formula-space @cherry-peach-flavored

@godknows-shetried @randomrosie01 @whatsupstark @paastaboi @m3ntally-unstable

@masterradd-28 @justanormalpersin @6000-fandoms @fennecspage

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@strawberrymangoes @lorastone-000 @starryhiraeth @worldussysblog

@urminebutidontwantyou @herondale-lightworm @nyra-42 @ohnoivefallen

@an-introverted-nishinoyasimp @ellie-x0xo @blkmystery

[luvst4rc0r3]

Loser!Jinx x Reader Headcanons

Jinx wasn’t just a loser—she was the loser. The kind who sat in the back of the class doodling in her notebook instead of taking notes, who always had a random bruise from doing something stupid, and who somehow had a negative GPA but could explain the entire plot of an obscure 90s anime no one had ever heard of.

She wasn’t exactly hated at school, but she was weird, loud, and unpredictable, which made people avoid her. Except for Vi, who was always yelling at her to “Get your shit together, Powder,” and Sevika, who only tolerated her because Vi forced her to.

Then there was you.

The first time Jinx saw you, she short-circuited. She was just trying to make it through another miserable day of Algebra when you walked into the classroom, and suddenly, math didn’t exist anymore. All she could think was:

“Oh no.”

You were effortlessly cool—new to school, good at everything Jinx wasn’t, and way out of her league. But you were nice. Too nice. The kind of nice that made Jinx go home and kick her feet while screaming into her pillow because why would you ever talk to her unless you were planning to ruin her life?

- The first time you talk to her, it’s because you sit next to her in Algebra.

You: “Hey, do you have a pencil?”

Jinx, panicking: “Wh—uh—I—yeah—no—I mean—” (frantically digs through her backpack, pulls out a crayon).

You: “…Thanks?”

Jinx: “Yeah! Totally! I only use crayons, actually. Pencils are a government conspiracy.”

You: “Oh? Tell me more.”

She thinks you’re messing with her. But you don’t laugh. You actually listen. And when she rants about whatever nonsense is currently living rent-free in her head, you just nod along like she’s making sense.

She falls in love immediately.

- Jinx is the type of loser who spends all her time online, plays obscure indie games, and has a concerning amount of conspiracy theories about random things (like why the school vending machine is always out of strawberry soda).

- She is hopelessly, painfully, pathetically in love with you. Like, full-blown kicking her feet and giggling into her pillow kind of crush. She doesn’t even try to be normal about it.

- If you so much as glance in her direction, her brain short-circuits. Immediate blue screen of death. Malfunctioning Jinx noises.

- She swears she’s being subtle, but the entire school knows she’s down horrendously bad for you. Like, it’s embarrassing. Vi has tried to stage an intervention. Sevika has bet money on how long it’ll take before she faints in front of you.

- If you actually talk to her? Oh, she’s done for. Stammering, tripping over her words, probably dropping whatever she’s holding. You could ask her the simplest question, and she’d be like:

You: “Hey, do you have a pencil?”

Jinx, sweating bullets: “Uh—uh—uh—uh—I—pen—yes—no—I mean—I do? Maybe? What’s a pencil?”

- She definitely stalks your social media. She has your entire posting schedule memorized, knows all your interests, and tries to bring them up in conversation to impress you—but it just makes her sound insane.

Jinx: “Soooo… I heard you like frogs.”

You: “What?”

Jinx: “Uh. Frogs. Y’know. Ribbit.”

- If you compliment her, even as a joke, she will take it to her grave. Like, you could say, “Hey, cool jacket,” and she’ll wear that same jacket every day for a month straight.

- One time you called her cute. She has not recovered.

- She tries to act cool around you, but she’s the type of loser who fumbles everything. Drops her phone. Walks into doors. Trips over air. It’s a miracle she hasn’t spontaneously combusted yet.

- If you so much as smile at her, she’s writing about it in her diary like it’s the most life-changing event to ever happen.

“FEBRUARY 8TH, 2025. 3:47 PM. Y/N SMILED AT ME. I CAN DIE HAPPY NOW.”

or

“February 8th, 2025. 3:47 PM. Y/N TOUCHED MY ARM. I CAN NEVER WASH IT AGAIN.”

- Jinx, in her head, planning out all the ways she could confess to you: Writing you a love letter? Making a mixtape? A grand, romantic gesture?

- Jinx, in reality: “I like your face.”

- If you start liking her back? Oh, she’s doomed. Malfunctioning. Exploding. Game over.

People still don’t understand how you two work, but at this point, it doesn’t even matter. You and Jinx are in your own little world, and honestly? It’s kind of perfect.

- You keep hanging out with her. At first, just in class, but then at lunch, after school, texting late at night. She stops feeling like a loser when she’s with you. She starts hoping.

- The first time you realize you like her back, it’s because of something dumb.

You’re at lunch, sitting with her, Vi, and Sevika. Jinx, being a disaster, spills her drink all over herself. Instead of being embarrassed, she just goes, “Guess I’m drinking it the hard way.”

And something about the way she owns her weirdness makes your heart do a stupid little flip.

- The first time you flirt with her, she malfunctions.

- The first time she realizes you like her back, it breaks her brain.

It happens after school. You’re both walking home together when you grab her hand, lacing your fingers through hers like it’s nothing.

She nearly trips over her own feet. You just laugh and squeeze her hand tighter.

Oh no, she thinks. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

She’s never going to recover from this.

(She doesn’t want to.)

Random Cute Couple Things:

- Jinx is the kind of girlfriend who will 100% steal your clothes.

Not just hoodies—everything. She once showed up wearing your jacket, your socks, and your backpack, and when you pointed it out, she just went, “Yeah, and?”

The worst part? She looks stupidly cute in your clothes, so you can’t even be mad.

(You started “accidentally” leaving extra hoodies at her place just so she’d always have one of yours to wear.)

- She gets insanely clingy when she’s sleepy.

Jinx isn’t really a cuddler during the day—she’s always bouncing off the walls, getting into trouble, dragging you into her weird ideas. But the second she gets tired?

Good luck getting up.

She’ll wrap herself around you like a human koala, mumbling something about how “you’re warm and smell good” and refusing to let go.

(You’ve accepted your fate. You live here now.)

- She makes the dumbest bets just to get kisses.

• “Bet you can’t solve this riddle. If you lose, I get a kiss.

• “If I make this paper ball into the trash can, you have to kiss me.”

• “Okay, rock-paper-scissors, best out of three—winner gets a kiss.”

You caught on pretty quickly and just started kissing her before she could suggest a bet. It completely breaks her brain every time.

(She still tries, though.)

- She doodles all over your stuff.

If you lend Jinx a pen, it’s over—your notebooks, your arms, even your homework will be covered in little scribbles.

Sometimes they’re just random sketches. Other times, you’ll find little hearts with your name inside them.

(She denies drawing them. But the blush on her face says otherwise.)

- She absolutely loves when you play with her hair.

She pretends she doesn’t care at first—shrugs it off, acts like it’s whatever. But the second you start running your fingers through her hair, she literally melts.

(If you braid it, she’ll leave it in all day, even if it looks ridiculous.)

- She’s always touching you.

• Holding your hand? Obviously.

• Leaning against you when you’re sitting together? Yup.

• Linking pinkies just because she can? Of course.

It’s like she needs to be physically connected to you at all times.

(If you ever pull away too soon, she’ll dramatically gasp and go, “What, you don’t love me anymore?!”)

- She makes up the dumbest excuses just to hang out with you.

“Babe, I need your help with something.”

“What is it?”

“I dunno, I just wanted to see you.”

And honestly? You wouldn’t have it any other way.

I love Jinx

I want sleep

[bunny-extract]

Two lads in a snipers nest passing the time how you’d expect. No homo </3 gaz misses his girl, bad.

Price is on first watch.

Kyle is half propped on his backpack, an arm thrown over his eyes. Lets out a sigh that’s not tired, or idle. Intentional. He doesn’t want to repeat himself.

Price doesn’t look, but he hears it. Knows what it is already.

“Mind if I..?”

It’s polite, which only throws him off internally. Most blokes would be crude, make a show to strip the meaning. Not Kyle.

Price stays facing the ridge line. No privacy up here unless one of them fancies scaling down to the river to get off. He just shrugs. “Your watch is in two hours.”

There’s a puase, then movement. Quiet, though not apologetic.

So Price lights a cigar. Keeps his eyes on the water. Listens.

Hears everything.

The sharp intake of breath, the rhythm turning harsh. Doesn’t stop scanning the water below for wildlife even when breath turns harsh, comes slow through the nose like he’s trying to be quiet about it. Then slick. Filthy and honest and unhidden.

Price doesn’t flinch. He takes a long drag, reaches for his canteen and grabs his flask instead. He’ll ignore his own ache until they change shifts, when it’s his turn to lay down and strip bare a piece of him that still feels human. Can’t blame a man for that.

Price drags.

The minute follows.

Kyle’s not cleaning up.

”Must be some girl you’ve got,” John finally says, voice rough.

There’s a pause before the smirk is in Kyle’s voice, breathless. “Proper gal to the lot, Captain. Sweet as anything. Only time I see that side of her is in public.”

“Sounds like you met you match.”

There’s a stutter, a laugh that gets bitten.

“What gets her like that?”

Kyle must shake his head, fondness curling around the filth. “Can’t hardly keep track, sir. Fuck, talking. Dirty mouth she’s got, puts it to good use. Spells it out real sweet in those letters she sends.”

”That’s what you keep reading, then.”

”Half the time,” Kyle hisses, “Swear she thinks about it ‘s much as I do. Makes it look so pretty when I call her, she loves showing off.” He’s trailing off now, voice pitching low and gravely. “Loves when I watch. Drives her mad that she can’t touch herself like I do.”

Gaz groans, his fist slick. “Gotta make it back to her. Smiles when I fuck her rough, Price, she’s a fuckin’ minx, mate. Sweet things probably losing it by now.”

Kyles voice pitches, a sound that’s almost a gasp. Then the following silence. A loud swallowing.

Price ashes his cigar. The burn in his gut has nothing to do with the drink, but he’ll table that for a later time. Behind him, Kyle exhales like he’s been shaken for all he’s worth, loose limbed and spent.

There’s a long moment before Gaz speaks, but his voice is light. Listing just on the edge of teasing. “Just lettin’ me embarrass myself, then?”

“No witness. Except that mess you’re sitting in.” Price snubs his cigar, watching it fly towards the river. “Next time, aim for the rocks.”

Kyle stands, slow like he’s being rebuilt. “Might as well switch now, then.”

Price laughs, knocking him on the shoulder. “Should I prepare you for parental leave?”

“Christ, don’t give me ideas.”

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

Infects you with brain worms. Infects you with brain worms. Cmon. Cmon you know you want to write Vampire Bat Stan being afraid of heights and climbing his brother. Cmon you know you want to write Ford using a toothbrush to do the brushie brushie on a sleepy Bat Stan. Bat is only one letter away from cat cMON YOU KNIW YOU COULD. INFECTS YOU WITH BRAIN WORMS INFECTS YOU WITH BRAIN WORMS

I'll do it, but only because i really want to and I heard its your birthday. And I was half tempted anyway.

Someday my tags will get by unseen. Someday.

"So how's this supposed to work," Stan asked, standing in Fords vampire death lab, "Because if it involves yelling anything, I'm out."

"As far as I can tell there's no incantation," Ford said, "All the vampire's I've seen transform just do it."

"Maybe think bat thoughts!" Fiddleford yelled, still on the other side of the lab and in his 'safety bubble' which he'd set up shortly after Stan had been dragged into this whole mess. Since it was only a matter of time before the hunger became too much and Stan lost it, they'd put up several safety precautions so that Fiddleford hopefully wouldn't be his first target. Ford was determined to 'contain' him when that time came, but Stan had exchanged enough glances with Emma-May and Fiddleford to know that they wouldn't hesitate to put him in his permanint grave.

But for now, there was a ring of garlic around Fiddleford, as well as a several silver chains cross-crossed around him. It made Stan hurt just by looking at it, so he tried not to. Stan and Ford were on the other side, in the little area near the door Ford had set up so that Stan had somewhere to hang out down here that didn't make his skin want to crawl off, and kept him out of sight if any townsfolk happened to sneak down here for whatever reason.

Since Stan had dedicated himself to their cause and promised to help either clear out the other vampires surrounding the place or find a way to help the townsfolk outlast them, he'd been working on his 'vampire powers' that Ford said he should have but no one had bothered to tell him about.

Too busy being 'mysterious' and 'edgy' probably.

"What does that mean? Bat thoughts." Stan muttered, "I'm not flapping my hands, if that's what your saying."

"You shouldn't have to," Ford said. His brother was standing a few feet away, somewhat less garlicy than usual and silver lined coat hanging on a nearby chair so he wouldn't burn Stan while he was down here. Stan thought it was stupid, but Ford was dead set on it after they'd brushed arms once and Stan's arm had been seared.

"Like I said," Ford continued, "all the vampires have gone from one form to the other without doing any kind of verbal incantation or movement. Some have done it from standing, others running, jumping, and in one particular case, cartwheel."

Stan groaned, then rubbed his face. That was less than helpful. All of those vampires were probably dead and the secret of tranformation gone with them. And it wasn't like Stan could stick his head out and yell out to the crowd.

"Alright," he shook out his hands, then narrowed his eyes, "Bat thoughts. Just gotta think like a bat... what do bats think about?"

"Blood sucking, i reckon." Fiddleford called out, and Stan shot him a glare. The man ignored him, tinkering away at whatever vampire killing machine he was working on now.

"Maybe think about the act of changing form," Ford said, drawing his attention, "the freedom of movement a smaller form provides, or escape."

"Escape, huh?" Stan could get behind that. Escaping was practically his... blood and blood? Neck and blood? There wasn't a good vampire play on bread on butter, only having one food source.

Whatever.

Stan tried to focus on being smaller, less noticeable, just a small, regular guy. Nothing to see here, just your run of the mill, more natural blood sucker.

Ford let out a gasp, and Stan yelled as the ground disappeared from under him. Quickly opening his eyes, he saw the cold hard floor fast approaching, and tried to bring his arms up to catch himself. Instead two giant black sails jerked down, and he was catapulted back up. All the noise in the room seemed twice as loud, and disorienting him and making it even harder to focus on what he was doing.

"You did it Stanley!" Ford cheered. Stan would have loved to join him, if he wasn't waving his arms around and screaming. Despite now looking like a bat, he didn't fell any kind of natural instinctive way to flap his wings to actually fly like one, and seeing the ground so far below him wasn't helping.

Before he managed to slam himself into a wall or the floor, he was grabbed out the air by a pair of disgusting smelling hands. His entire body fit into the palm of one of them, but his giant wings spilled over the sides. He pulled them in, struggling to figure out how to move everything, then hooked his thumbs around the nearest fingers.

"Hmm. Ford said, suddenly much larger and louder than before, "I didn't realize flying wouldn't come naturally. Something to practice."

"Practice-smactice!" Stan hissed, thankfully still able to talk, "This sucks! In a non-vampire, terrible way! I'm tiny! Why would I ever want to do this?"

"To escape notice, or flee," Ford said, holding his hands up and way to far off the ground, "Now off you go."

Ford jerked his hands up and let go, but Stan wasn't having it. Turning into a bat seemed cool in theory, but actually doing it not so much. The ground seemed twice as terrifying at this size, and his arms were already tired from his mad flapping earlier. Stan clamped his thumbs around Ford's sleeve, then kicked his legs until he found a finger and held on tight.

This felt much more natural than flapping his arms around. He tightened his grip when Ford grunted and started waving his arm, but even as a bat Stan was much stronger than him now, he wasn't coming off unless he wanted to.

"Come now Stanley," Ford said, bringing in his other hand to try and pry him off, "You won't get any better if you don't try."

"Too bad," Stan hissed, holding tighter, "Its not happening. Lets just move onto less horrible, more useful vampire powers."

Ford sighed, but he did stop prying at Stan and instead just held his arm out, "Very well. Change back and we'll move on. You might be able to turn into mist, and there's a few others that might be worth trying."

Stan nodded, then tried to think of... not human, vampire thoughts? His thoughts hadn't really changed much the last year, just got more annoyed by how much unlife was one downside after another, and trying to ignore the gaping pit in his stomach and how dry his throat was all the time.

Regardless, he thought his thoughts, trying to will himself back.

"Stanley," Ford said, giving him an unimpressed look as he continued to hang off his arm, "We can't move on until your back to your original form."

"I know!" Stan replied, using his thumbs to crawl higher up Fords arm so his feet weren't holding Ford's fingers and were instead clutching his sleeve, "I'm trying! Its just that I'm-" Stan smirked, "-winging it here."

Bingo. Fords face twitched as he snorted, then he coughed into his other hand when Fiddleford sighed.

"But seriously," Stan said, squinting at the ground that was still way too far away, "I'm not sure what kind of thoughts scream 'turn back into a vampire'."

"Blood sucking!" Fiddleford yelled, and Stan leaned over so he could glare at him again.

"Not helping!" he called out, then yelled when Ford moved his arms. The one he wasn't holding went up to rub at Ford's chin, while the one Stan was clutching to for dear life crosed under it, squishing him into Fords chest.

From here, he could really hear Fords steady heart beat, strong and powerful, full of delicious untouched blood. He could also smell all the garlic, making him gag and burning his nose as he struggled to free himself from Fords arms.

"Hmm," Ford said, oblivious to Stan's struggles, "Well if escape turns you into a bat, then maybe attack? Try thinking aggressive thoughts."

"Believe me," Stan wheezed, garlic making him dizzy, "I'm thinkin' all kinds of painful thoughts."

Ford finally seemed to realize that maybe holding him so close to his garlic aura was doing more harm than good, and he muttered an apology as he stuck his arm back out. Stan took a few deep breaths, trying to clear his head. The garlic smell didn't go away, but it wasn't as bad as before.

"Ugh," Stan coughed, then climbed further up Fords arm so he wouldn't get squished at any unexpected arm movements, "Why'd I want to do this again? You look awful from this angle."

"I believe you said something about wanting to" Stan yelped as Fords arms came up to make quotation marks, making him loose his balance and slide so he was hanging upside down, "'one up those stuck up assholes' by using your shared power set against them. I'm not sure why we started with turning into a bat. It just seemed the right course of action."

"Well," Stan muttered, using his wing thumbs to hook onto Fords shoulder and swing up, "next time I suggest something that involves my feet leaving the ground, remind me of this."

The garlic smell got worse the closer he was to Fords neck, but he'd take it over being swung around like a handbag while Ford talked. He eyed his brothers chest, then wiggled so he could climb down and hang down by his stomach.

"What are you doing," Ford asked, holding a hand out behind him. Hopefully to catch him if he fell, and not to squish him.

"Trying not to get flung off," Stan said, hooking a thumb into the shirt and grabbing it with his weird little legs, "Your whole face makes me want to pass out, so i'm gonna-" another smirk, "-hang out down here."

Stan was bounced slightly by the force of Ford's chuckle. The smell wasn't as bad down here, and the sounds of Fords stomach gurgling and his lungs working helped drown out his heart beat. He jumped when something touched his back, then bent his head backwards to see Fords hand, supporting his weight.

"I see," Stan grunted as Ford started moving, making the shirt and therefore Stan swing slightly, "I'll try to review my notes and accounts of some previous encounters, see if I can find a common trait for you to focus on."

"Sure, sure. Whatever," Stan said, pressing his head into the fabric of Fords shirt, focusing on the sounds of his brother's living body. It was different, being so close, louder.

Warmer.

Stan hadn't felt warm in ages. The closest he'd gotten was not-cold or burning. The heat of the sun was agony, the press of other vampires nothing but more cold corpses. Not even staying down south helped, the air cooling with the setting sun before Stan could enjoy it.

The last time he'd been warm had been the last time he'd lost it, ripping into Rico's men and stealing the warmth from their rapidly cooling bodies.

This wasn't anything like then. It was steady, constant. Not stolen, just the heat of his brother, soaking into him. The pangs of his hunger didn't go away, but it felt soothed, and the dryness of his throat wasn't nearly as demanding.

Stan shoved his face into Fords stomach, pressed his ear as close to his skin as he could, and listened to every beat, every whoosh, ever creak and groan. All the evidence of life he'd forgotten.

All the things he missed. All the proof that being a vampire really was its own form of hell.

"Stanley?" Ford asked, an hour or so later. There wasn't much detail on the hows and whys of vampiric abilities, but he'd gone through what he could fine, along with his own written accounts of the various vampires he'd taken care of since starting down this dark and- well it was lonely at first, but it was hard to claim the title with Fiddleford tinkering several feet away and Emma-May upstairs patrolling, along with all the townsfolk taking shelter in his house.

And the vampire, who was all but snuggling into Ford's stomach. He'd fallen silent some time ago after Ford had grabbed his books and sat down at his hastily cleared desk. He'd thought Stan was focusing on turning back into his original form, but a quick glance showed the half lidded eyes and Stan's wings slumped against him.

His brother made a high-pitched chittering sound, then nuzzled his squished bat face further into Fords shirt. The thumbs clutching the fabric pulled, then slowly eased.

"Stanley," Ford said again, smiling softly. Stan chittered again, sounding annoyed, then kicked his legs until he could grab on a little higher and push his face further into Fords shirt. Ford chuckled, then frowned.

Stan looked innocent and harmless now, but he'd seen blood crazed vampires before, and he knew it was only a matter of time before Stan lost whatever control he had. He'd been making preparations to try and contain and neutralize Stan when that happened, but the thought of what could happen if it didn't work- If Ford was forced to put down his own brother-

It sickened him. Stan shouldn't have to suffer something so terrible.

His thoughts were interrupted by another chitter, and a small eye squinted up at him. Ford chuckled again, then looked around his desk. It was risky putting his hands so close to Stan's head when he was half asleep like this, and the last thing he needed was to be turned by his own sluggish brother. He rummaged around some nearby drawers, then pulled a toothbrush out with a small 'aha'.

He'd stuck a pack down here when people had complained about his smell in the bathroom upstairs, and had resigned himself to doing his morning preparations down here. He made sure to grab a clean one, then looked back down at Stan's squinty, fuzzy head.

He really did look like a bat, down to his squished nose, large ears, and sharp teeth. The only hint that he was more than he appeared was how the fur around his neck was thicker, slightly curled, and gave the impression of a bat with a mullet.

That, and the stillness of his chest, the strength in his tiny digits, the paleness of his wings, and how cold he was. Like a corpse.

Ford brought the bristles of the tooth brush to the bat-mullet, gently brushing it down. Stan's eye narrowed, then closed, and he let out another chitter before settling down. Ford was tempted to pet him, but there was no telling how tempted Stan would be, so the toothbrush would have to do.

"If you get bit," Fiddleford called out, after a few minutes, "I'm not gonna stop Emma-May from staking you."

"I'll be fine," Ford reassured him, "I'm wearing another layer underneath my shirt, his teeth wouldn't be able to pierce it at his normal size."

Fiddleford humphed, and Ford shook his head, going back to brushing Stan's head. He'd have to make the bars of the containment unit smaller, now that Stan knew how to do this. Maybe a silver mesh, so that Stan couldn't slip through the larger bars.

Then... well, Ford was a scientist first, hunter second. If anyone could figure out how to cure a vampire, it was him.

[artytaeh]

hey babe! how are you doing? hope you are doing fine :) I know you are probably full with requests or projects, so please don't feel pressure to answer this :( But I was wondering, how do you think Mattheo would be once he realizes he is in love/developing feelings? Do you think he would try to push them away at first?

. 𖥔 ࣪˖ hello bae, i'm doing fine, tysm for asking! i am a little overwhelmed, however !! i hate the idea of discarding/ignoring the asks i receive <3 everyone is so lovely here. it ended up being a full-on lengthy thought... thank you for interacting!

THE (CATASTROPHIC) ART OF FALLING IN LOVE ; mattheo t. riddle.

mattheo doesn't know how to react to being in love with someone. one thing is physical attraction — mattheo is acquainted with the feeling of desiring someone, perhaps lusting over some physical contact here and there.

but that's something that eventually disappears, like a wave that comes at full force and fades into a gentle touch at the shore, drawing back to the large ocean. mattheo can be so attracted to someone today, then perceive them as someone who mingles with the crowd like, less than a month later. the problem here is that when feelings develop, they linger — and stay, for longer than one can control.

and why would that be a problem? well.

mattheo isn't used to attachments.

for someone who's been passed from hand to hand, born from two people who wanted to conceive power rather than someone to love, mattheo taught himself to rationalize that everything is temporary. that death eater lady who took care of him during his toddler years? yeah, somewhere along the way he was sent to another couple, then to someone else, and that formed a sequence of bad, worse and less bad historic of mattheo riddle's caretakers.

things are temporary. dangerous feelings like attraction — mattheo knows that lust can easily be mistaken with love — are meant to be short lived. desire, conquer, fulfill, abandon. and that's that.

but developing feelings for someone — merlin forbid, falling in love — is a much longer process. like falling asleep, one falls in love, sometimes for reasons that not even merlin himself could properly explain. mattheo doesn't like the vulnerability; one thing is wanting to fuck someone, another totally different thing is wanting to hold hands just because, spend time together for the hell of it without expecting some sort of carnal reward in return.

mattheo riddle fucking hates it.

because in a selfish world where the strongest suffer the least, mattheo can't afford weaknesses. he's already alone, very much prejudiced because of his recent and ancient bloodline, not a wizard with many people who would defend him.

so to want to protect someone, when he should focus on protecting himself, is dangerous. it's foolishness. it's another weight to his already heavy shoulders.

and this, anon, so i can give you the right context to why mattheo's first instinct is to be fucking angry about this stupid person that stole his well guarded heart. because mattheo doesn't have an history of exemplary adults to look up to, he can be, hm... childish. even in his anger, the way he seeks solutions for his problems can either be violent (mhm, to assert dominance) or some stupid shit that apparently, makes sense to him.

said stupid shit is sending an anonymous letter that goes straight to the point.

get the fuck out of my school, you freak.

very mature. definitely meant to provoke the desired outcome.

for a good while, probably during the time span of mattheo slowly — veeeery slowly — coming in terms with his feelings, mattheo goes through the five stages of grief.

DENIAL, even though the handful of slytherin outcasts he can count as friends will use any. given. chance. to absolutely wreck mattheo's patience with jokes regarding how much he's in love — which he isn't, thank you fucking much. mattheo will deny to his very grave that he couldn't care less about her; at most, sure, she's kinda cute and even stunning on days that he's more distracted and less guarded, but that's it! lust, everyone! hormonal boys being boys, alright?! nothing romantic about that.

even though he can't help but follow her with his eyes, mentally distant from whatever conversation to see her walking by. the sight of her existing totally unaware of him, probably hurts so good that it sends mattheo into another wave of denial. even if he was in love, it wouldn't work — so there's no feelings involved.

are doomed children even able to get such good things? no, mattheo assumes not.

ANGER, because these little things start to accumulate a heavy burden to his fragile patience. like a mad dog waiting for the chance to bite, mattheo starts warning draco and pansy to shut up about the puppy-in-love jokes, and even gives a warning glare to theodore and blaise, hoping that there's some peace from their side, too. mattheo feels like exploding whenever he's given lame advices for corny situations.

it's anger, because sometimes, mattheo thinks that he can't feel anything else.

BARGAINING, whenever the evidence becomes too obvious to ignore. at this point, mattheo has to, begrudgingly, admit that his excuses are so stupid that it gives him secondhand embarrassment for himself. for fuck's sake, voldemort's son excusing his lovesick actions for must-have-been-the-wind kind of excuse.

the gradual path to acceptance, although through baby steps, forces mattheo to reinforce the idea that he's in control of this whole situation.

if-only's are followed by what-if's, like a push and pull sort of situation, where mattheo sways between a stage of anger and denial, while unknowingly crawling his way to depression and acceptance.

DEPRESSION, because how can he convince someone to put up with his shit for longer than what, one night stand? despite his terrible reputation, there are girls more than willing to make out in a corner of some dorm party, or even more than that for the hell of it. but more than that? nah, no one is crazy enough to do that — remember? lust and love can be mistaken, but in mattheo riddle's case, it's easy for people to distinguish it with him. so yeah, just his luck.

as much as his friends might try to help him, mattheo is hardly convinced. it seems some stupid karmic trial sent his way, because he is, supposedly, not struggling enough. sure, throw some heartbreak and highschool failed romance on his way.

the whole 'depression' stage is filled with overthinking. either silly daydreaming of what will never happen, to following the sight of her everywhere she happens to exist where he does, too. then, it happens to be unintentionally noticing very little things about the person he likes — and convince himself that it only serves as more incompatibility, because you'd have to be crazy to be with someone whose surname happens to be riddle.

yeah, some things just aren't meant for him, are they?

ACCEPTANCE, however, is the stage that finally offers some peace of mind to him. mattheo accepts that bargaining and getting angry at his feelings won't do shit — by now, he's used to the whole butterfly-stomach-bs that some fourth-years were chanting about in the great hall, and the natural anxiety he feels whenever she's near. the tingling in his fingers, because he wants to touch, to protect, to be equally loved too, but ends up being another fistful on his pockets' fabric in the end.

unfortunately, this acceptance might only be fully achieved upon some major event. mattheo has to act subconsciously to accept that there's no way around it anymore — he's in love, he wants this person in the least selfish way possible, and he's fucked because of this.

if you want my opinion, the easiest trigger to this stage would be anything that sparks mattheo's protectiveness. the moment that he feels good about having helped her, it's over. mattheo isn't his own priority anymore — she is.

after trying to push her away, even if that means to distance himself from every little thing that reminds mattheo of her and, consequentially, his weak feelings for this girl, mattheo will surrender to it. this time, he carefully reapproaches her — tiptoeing his way back, ambitioning for a possible connection, or the slightest friendship that allows him the peace of being in her presence.

it could take a good amount of time for mattheo to convince himself that he can, and should, take a chance. it's not the same as flirting with someone into getting something carnal out of it — it's the attempt to open a potential door for a relationship, which he really, really wants to, even though mattheo has no good examples of it. at fucking all.

but for her?

he'll try.

and merlin help him if he won't even read some stupid book to properly understand it. give him a chance — and he'll be a good boyfriend.

as good of a boyfriend as bellatrix lestrange and the dark lord's lovechild can be.

[bullet-prooflove]

Hello lovely!

23. That boy he takes my breath away, I can't find the words to say

For Spencer Dutton please? 💗

Tagging: @kmc1989 @justforthesimcc @demi321win-chester @dontwanttobeanamericanidiot @toasted-stiletto

Companion piece to:

Of Dead Men & Broken Dreams - Spencer makes a relisation while stationed on the front.

Ink Stained - Spencer finally reads your letters after a near death experiance.

It’s the sound of hooves outside that lead you to pick up the gun that you keep in the bed beside you. It’s a Springfield bolt action rifle, one that was handed down to you by your daddy, just like the ranch he put in your brother’s name, knowing that James would never step foot on it.

You’ve kept it close since the shooting six months ago, since Banner tried to murder you and the Duttons in an ambush on the road. Your families have been close since they settled, Cara taking you under her wing after your father had passed away a few years ago. Their cowboys take care of your herd after your own scattered to the winds because they won’t listen to a woman, especially not after you put a carving knife through Cal’s hand for trying to coerce his way into your bed.

“There’s a madness in that one.” He’d heralded to the others as he spat on your porch, cradling his bloodied hand to his chest. “She’d rip your dick off if you tried to fuck her.”

They’d dispersed after that and you couldn’t say you were sad to see them go because the truth is you hadn’t trusted a single one of them after Donald Whitfield had come sniffing around trying to buy the land. Cal wasn’t the first in a long line of men trying to make their fortune by putting you on your back, you’re certain he won’t be the last.  

Your white cotton nightdress flutters in the cool air as you raise from the bed, snatching up the rifle. You hurtle down the wooden stairs, tearing open the door, stepping out onto the porch in bare feet. You cock the weapon, your jaw tensing as you jam the barrel against the space where the bullet infiltrated your body. Your sight adjusts to the darkness as you line up the gun with the man racing towards you on horseback. Your finger tightens on the trigger, squeezing and the gun bucks against you, your bullet sailing through his hat, knocking it clean off his head.

“That was a warning shot.” You call out as he tugs at the reins, staying his horse. “The next one goes through your skull.”

“Why don’t you put it through my heart? Lord knows I deserve it.” He says getting off his horse and tilting his head up toward you.

The moonlight catches his tanned features and the air rushes out of you because it can not be Spencer Dutton standing in front of you, it can’t be the man who promised you the world and then disappeared from it.

You don’t lower the gun as he steps towards you, instead you press it against his chest. His hand grips to barrel, guiding it higher so there’s no doubt about which organ your bullet will pierce if you pull the trigger.  

“You wanna kill me Kit, do it.” He tells you with a ferocity you feel in the depths of your soul. “I died the day I left you, you’d just be finishing the job.”

“You die, I die.” You say as you look into his eyes with a fierce look of your own. “Isn't that what we told each other before you took off to the front?”

If he’d died on that battlefield you would have followed him right into that grave, you both know it. You lower the gun and his gaze strays the scar peeking out from underneath the collar of your white night dress. He reaches out, his fingers drawing the fabric away so he can see the wound in all it’s glory.

Just half an inch lower, he thinks as he studies it. He flattens his palm against your chest, feeling the thrum of your heart underneath his fingertips.

“Do you still feel me here?” He asks, his voice raw with emotion.

“Yes.” You whisper, your hand covering his. “Every damn day.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[merakiui]

100%

yandere!malleus draconia x (female) reader cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, pregnancy, implied baby-trapping, captivity, very vague and slight implications of codependency, angst note - your mobile phone was at 100% when he took you away. with time, the percentage has diminished. so, too, does your hope for a brighter future.

The windowpane is spattered with rain.

Sitting cozy in a cushioned alcove, you watch the droplets slide down in regal rivulets, consolidating to form single streaks. The scenery beyond the window is bleak and dreary—a despondent landscape of gnarled, leafless trees and scratchy brambles stretching towards a dark, dismal sky. Sometimes you liken the rain to tears, wondering if Mother Nature weeps for all creatures or simply for you and your situation. Rare are the days in which the sun shines upon the craggy stone façade of your captor’s castle, and she is as benevolent as she is cruel.

For all of its sumptuous splendor, generational wealth filling the interior with priceless heirlooms and relics, it is an empty, cold structure. You’ve taken to enveloping yourself in thick furs, if only because these furs do not speak like the monster who so humbly offers his embrace. Though you’ve always considered yourself of strong, sturdy mind, your restraint is thinning. As the days pass and you shed clothing sizes like they’re second skins, you find yourself drawn to warmth.

Which is, ironically enough, contradictory to your current temperament. The windows, frigid like the grave, provide solace you cannot find anywhere else—for it is only tender warmth you receive from him. Had he not been so merciful, perhaps it would have been easier to shrink away and truly loathe him with every ounce of your being.

And yet, in order to escape the warmth which enshrouds, you seek the cold, bitter windows and their rain-weary countenance.

Lying beside you on the pillows, snoozing the afternoon away, a calico cat snores idly. She was a gift from him. You were neglectful of your mental health and thus, as per his guard’s suggestion, he sought to find a cat to cure your loneliness and inspire some form of happiness. You appreciate Silver—genuinely, you do—but the good luck a calico brings is not nearly enough to rescue you from captivity.

She was a stray, a scrawny thing with a limp and one bad eye. You took to her right away, scooping her up in your arms and lovingly naming her Cotton. Similarly, she returned your affections, rubbing her head against your palm and purring pleasantly.

Now she likes to nudge the dome that is your stomach, a great, round thing at only six months. Sometimes you think she’s more motherly than you are. You’ve never been able to care for much of anything. Plants wither under your touch, recipes spoil even when you follow them to the letter, and your electronics crack.

Your phone, more fractured than your very heart, is cold in your hands. The screen is blank; it’s dying. It was at 100% before. Now it’s been reduced to a sad 7%. There is no reception or connection to be had in Briar Valley. Your phone, once so powerful and all-knowing, is but a hollow shell. Useless. A digital photo album will expire at its final hour, and there’s no charger. He offered to use his magic to charge it, but he has never known his own strength and you couldn’t risk losing the treasured memories stored within.

Sometimes you’d return to old message logs and read through them. Now you can’t do that, lest you drain the battery quicker than intended.

“So this is where you’ve retreated,” Malleus notes, poking his head around the corner of a towering bookcase. Concern settles on his features. “Are you well? Sebek tells me you were absent for breakfast.” “I wasn’t hungry,” you mutter, watching his reflection through the stormy glass.

Malleus glances at Cotton and then at your phone as it rests in your clasp. “May I trouble you to eat just a little, if only some fruit?”

“I’m not hungry.” He nods, stalling. “Will you join me for lunch?”

“If I must.”

A small smile lifts his lips. “Are you cold? It can’t be very comfortable to sit there for such a long time. You’ll catch your death.”

“I hope.”

He tuts in disapproval and shrugs out of his cloak, draping it over you even though you’re already wearing a fleece robe. Malleus assesses you with a fleeting once-over.

“It doesn’t hurt to layer. You must understand where I’m coming from, dearest. Extreme temperatures serve to weaken those who are already so fragile.”

“I’m not fragile,” you snap, turning to scowl.

He doesn’t flinch at the heat smoldering in your eyes. “You’re human.”

“How many times did you have to practice that to come to terms with it?”

Malleus’s verdant stare narrows; his frown tightens. “It’s the truth.”

“I didn’t think you’d confront it.”

“I must if I’m to understand…” He exhales through his nose, deflating somewhat. “You’re in fine health. The physician tells me so. There’s no need to worry ourselves with ineffectual what-ifs.”

You turn your gaze on the sprawling forest next, unwilling to discuss the report and its subsequent conclusion: If she remains in good health and follows the recommended diet for an expecting mother, she’ll carry to term.

“My phone is dying, Malleus.”

“Is that not life? Lilia once said so.”

“My pictures… My everything is stored in this phone. It means so much to me.”

“Truly? Is there not a way to make physical copies of these photographs?”

“Unless Briar Valley has the technology to do so…”

“I’m afraid not.”

Malleus takes a daring step closer, endeavoring to comfort you. Cotton cracks her good eye open to peer at him. She hisses low in her throat, a protector standing small against something so tall. Pouting, clearly disheartened, Malleus heeds her warning and chooses to linger just within the bounds she deems acceptable.

“Yeah, that’s what I assumed.”

You heave a dejected sigh, your shoulders drooping. Seeking to cleanse your visual palate, you power the device on. 5% blinks back at you, an insignificant number sitting in a corner that you normally wouldn’t have paid much mind to. Now it weighs heavy, a reminder that the end is encroaching.

“I would’ve liked to keep these photos forever,” you whisper, mostly to yourself. Malleus hums his acknowledgement; you think he knows the feeling—or some variant of it, at least. “If I lose these pictures…”

“Do you not have memories?”

“I do, but it isn’t the same. One day I’ll grow old and my memory will be frail. I won’t remember nearly as much as I do now. Those memories will become ghosts and eventually I’ll—”

“You will not.” There’s a finality to the declaration—you won’t leave me; you won’t drain or die like this mobile device.

You rest your head against the window. The cool glass soothes your soul. I wonder what the others are up to right now… You place your hand upon your belly. I wonder if they’d have any good ideas for a name. I’m terrible at naming things. I can never pick something that feels right.

“I’d like to have a funeral for my phone.”

But maybe there is no right thing.

“Of course,” he agrees, perfectly serious. You will have that phone funeral, just as you will have every other request you make—however patently absurd it may seem. (Every other request except for freedom, of course.) “Materials may not have the same worth as a loved one, but the experiences they provide are just as valuable. Surely, no? Otherwise I would not feel so troubled when Roaring Drago…” Pausing to search for the placeholder, Malleus glances at your phone. “Perhaps there is no greater tragedy than existence itself.”

“It’s the most bittersweet burden,” you echo, scrolling through each picture with wistful remembrance. “But then I’d rather know the fleeting frivolity of life than endure hundreds of years of solitude. It makes me appreciate everything that much more.”

You stop at a picture of you and Malleus, a photo snapped by Lilia himself. Part of you often wonders why he chose you—why he adores you to such a degree when you, like everyone else, will inevitably perish. But therein lies the allure: That which is unobtainable is even more tempting. And because there is only one of you, a human destined to one day return to her home world, your very presence is more fleeting than a dream.

To Malleus, who has always dreamt, fond and fervent, of the unobtainable mundanity of normal life, you are a sweet, tangible blessing.

“Horns, do you think I’ll ever get another chance to have my phone at 100%?”

He softens under the nickname. It means more to him than his lofty station. “Would you like to know that joy?”

“It would be nice, yes, but then I’d just get sad when it reaches zero. I guess I should be grateful it’s stayed alive for this long. Sorry, it’s a stupid question. Just forget it.”

“Nonsense. There is no such thing.” He reaches to touch your cheek, but Cotton hisses again and so he refrains. She stands on unsteady legs and climbs into your lap, perching awkwardly in spite of your rounded belly. The sight draws a deep chuckle from him. “Your feline friend is quite taken with you.”

“It’s probably because I’m warm. She likes my belly a lot.”

“As do I.”

You roll your eyes.

“Your beauty is most beguiling. There’s a certain radiance to your person. It’s very charming. Do you not agree?”

“Flattery will get you nowhere—definitely not in Cotton’s good graces.”

“I’m simply voicing a fact.”

Your hand slides down from your stomach to pat Cotton. She purrs under your touch, and a weak approximation of a smile tugs at your lips. Amidst all of this sorrow, she is a glimmer of hope. In a way, she’s like you—a stray without a place in this world, snatched from the cobbles she once wandered and confined in a cage of royal opulence. Your similarities are striking, if not immensely devastating.

“Fact or not, I don’t care if I look pretty. It means nothing to me.”

“To be impartial towards appearances… Quite a noble mindset.”

I never once thought you were scary or strange, Horns. Even now.

You look at your phone once more. 3% flickers back.

You’re just lost, and in being lost you found me. But I was also lost. I never even belonged in this world to begin with…

“I’m not going to be a good mother.”

“You can’t know that.” 

“I can’t even take care of myself.”

“I shall care for you when you find yourself unable to.”

“I’d rather you not.”

With Cotton having curled on your lap, slumbering peacefully, Malleus chances to close the gap. His broad frame leans to make up for the difference in height, and he runs cold fingers along your cheek. He brushes away the tears you weren’t even aware you were shedding.

You grip your phone in shaky hands, your shoulders hunched. There’s a piercing ache in your chest, pain stabbing all the way through to your heart. It persists when you power it off, unable to delight in pictorial reminiscence for a moment longer. Silent like death, you sob; seismic dismay shudders through you in waves. Distantly, in a forgotten corner of your brain, you suspect this may be the last time you’ll ever use your phone. The last time you’ll ever look upon the photos you’ve amassed. Photos of friends, class notes, food. Photos snapped by mistake, blurry and unfocused. Photos taken when Ace and Grim stole your phone. Precious memories are preserved within the permanence of a photo album—an album that only remains everlasting so long as you keep your phone charged.

Your final shred of the world beyond Briar Valley vanishes in a blip, leaving you with the dark void that is an empty screen. Brutal is the agony, contorting your face, and you bawl like you’ve just witnessed the end of a life.

In a way, you have. You held it in the palm of your hands, and you watched it wither. Watched the percentages drop through numbers, double digits easing into singles. Watched every week and tried to spare your beloved phone of its fate. Watched and attempted to stall the impossible—a foolish undertaking. This was inevitable; you knew this, and yet you’re still mourning.

Perhaps that is the most tragic facet of existence. From the moment one is born, they are mourning. Humans mourn losing time—of allowing it to slip through their fingers when they should have put it to better use. Humans mourn aging even though it is celebrated yearly. Humans mourn for things that are inhuman—for robots stuck in an endless cycle of some menial task while gears grow rusted and systems shut down or trapped on a distant planet, never to return home. For the fruit that falls from trees and rots, trampled and forgotten. For the endings, good and bad, of novels. For art that will never see the light of day because it has been destroyed or stolen or silenced. For the friends they meet, have met, and will meet.

You mourn because you know it’s impending, and you spend all of your life coming to terms with it, only to break down when it finally happens because the truth of the matter is that you will never be prepared no matter how much you prepare yourself. You mourn because you’re a complex human with complex emotions, surviving in a complex world with millions of intricacies, and the only way to weather misery is to mourn.

To the little life cradled in your womb, who knows not of these difficulties yet, they cannot fathom the anguish that accompanies loss. And right now that is all you can hope for—a life without loss.

But that is impossible because loss is true to everyone’s experience. It is part of existence, and existence is inescapable.

Malleus does not gather you in his arms. He will do so if you ask, and he knows you want to ask, which is precisely why he waits. But you’re stubborn and you refuse to give in to the temptation, let alone grant him the satisfaction. It doesn’t offend him.

The windowpane is spattered with rain. So, too, is your phone, spotted with tears and snot.

Briefly, you wonder if you still look beautiful to Malleus.

Even at your ugliest, he would still cherish you. Desperately, as if he might lose you.

Knowing this does not soften the gutting grief.

[mixolya]

ᓚᘏᗢ — eternal echoes. rin itoshi.

synopsis: in which it doesn't matter which year it is, you and rin itoshi would always find back to each other.

warnings: death (it's a semi-happy ending). wc: 5,7k

note: i enjoyed writing this too much aaa!! sad letters are my thing 💔💔

year 1858. emperor and empress.

the first time you met him, you were royalty.

rin was the emperor of a vast, sun-drenched kingdom in ancient japan, his rule as unyielding as the mountains that bordered his lands. you were the daughter of a powerful daimyo, your marriage to him a strategic alliance meant to unite your families and bring stability to the region.

you did not expect to fall in love with him. but the moment you saw him standing at the altar, his eyes meeting yours, you felt it. that pull. that magnetic pull.

the wedding was a grand affair, held in the imperial palace. the air was thick with the scent of cherry blossoms, the sound of traditional instruments filling the courtyard. but all you could focus on was him. rin. the way his hand felt in yours, the way his voice sounded as he recited his vows, the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the room.

"do you think we shall be reincarnated as a married couple as well?" you asked him one night, as you stood on the balcony of the palace, the moon casting a silver glow over the gardens below.

he didn't answer right away. instead, he reached for your hand, his fingers intertwining with yours. "perhaps," he said finally. "in another life."

you didn't know if he meant it, but it didn't matter. because in that moment, you knew you'd follow him anywhere.

your life together was full of challenges. political intrigue, wars, the weight of ruling an empire. but through it all, you had each other. and that was enough.

until it wasn't.

the war came suddenly, like a storm that had been brewing on the horizon for years. rin led his armies to the front lines, his determination as fierce as the fire in his eyes. you stayed behind, ruling in his absence, but your heart was with him.

when the news came, it was like the world has stopped.

rin had been gravely injured in battle.

you rushed to the battlefield, your heart racing. the sight that greeted you was one of chaos, smoke and blood and the cries of the wounded. but all you could see was him.

he was lying on a wooden bunk, his armor stained with blood, his face pale and fatigued. but when he saw you, he smiled. a smile, a faint smile, but it was enough.

"you have come," he said, his voice weak but filled with warmth.

"how could i have stayed away?," you asked, your voice breaking as you knelt beside him.

he reached for your hand, his fingers intertwining with yours. "forgive me," he whispered.

"do not," you said, tears streaming down your face. "do not apologize. only stay with me."

silence stretched between you before he spoke. instead, his eyes locked onto yours, searching for an answer. "in another life," he said finally. "in another life, i shall seek thee out and find thee once more."

and then, as the tears fell and the world faded away, he was gone.

you held him in your arms, the weight of his body a cruel reminder of what you had lost. but even as the pain threatened to consume you, you held on to his words.

"and i shall find thee too," you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper.

year 1898. true fate.

the second time, you were philosophers.

you met in the bustling streets of kyoto, the city alive with the energy of scholars and seekers, all drawn to the ancient capital in pursuit of wisdom. you had come to study under a renowned master, your heart set on unraveling the mysterious of existence. but it wasn't the teachings of your mentor that would change your life. it was him.

rin.

he was standing on a wooden platform in the heart of the marketplace, his voice flowing smoothly over the crowd’s murmurs. rin's words were sharp, thougtful, cutting through the noise with an intensity that demanded attention. you stopped to listen, drawn not just by the sound of his voice but by the way he carried himself.

"the universe is not confined to our understanding," he said, scanning the crowd. "it exists beyond our perceptions, beyond our fears, beyond our desires. to seek truth is to acknowledge that we may never grasp it."

the crowd murmured, some nodding in agreement, others shaking their heads in dissent. but you stood there, mesmerized and fascinated.

when the lecture ended, you approached him, your hands clutching the scrolls you had been carrying. "your words," you began, your voice trembling slightly, "they have struck a chord within me."

he turned to you. "did they truly?"

you nodded, your throat suddenly dry. "indeed, i have long held that truth is not an object to be possessed, but a pursuit we must forever follow."

a faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "you are different," he said.

"what is it you mean?"

"most people come to these debates with the intent to prove their righteousness," he said. "you, however, came to listen."

you felt your cheeks flushed, but you held his gaze. "i believe there is more to be learned from the questions we ask than from the answers we claim to have."

he studied you for a moment, his eyes, those beautiful eyes, searching yours. then he nodded, as if he had found something he was looking for. "come with me," he said.

you followed him to a quiet spot by the kamo river, where the water reflected the lanterns that lined the banks. the night was cool, the air filled with the soft chirping of crickets and the distant sound of laughter. you sat beside him on the grass, the silence between you comfortable, almost familiar.

"do you believe in fate?" you asked after a while, your voice soft.

no answer from him. instead, he looked out at the river, his expression thoughtful. "i believe in choices, yes," he said finally. "but i also hold that some things are simply inevitable."

"like what?"

he turned to you, his eyes meeting yours. "like this," he said.

your breath caught in your throat. "what do you mean?"

"i mean," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, "it is as if i have known you before. as though we have spoken these words a thousand times, across a thousand different lives."

"do you think such thing is possible?" you asked, your voice trembling. "to find one another again, in another life?"

"yes."

year 1924. poetry lives forever.

the third time, you were writers.

you met in a small, dimly lit café tucked away in the heart of milan. the air smelled of coffee and old books, and the sound of rain tapping against the windows filled the silence. he sat at a corner table, his hair falling into his eyes as he scribbled furiously in a notebook.

you noticed him immediately. not just because he was beautiful, though he was, but because there was something about him that felt familiar.

you didn't mean to approach him. but when you dropped your pen and it rolled to his feet, he looked up, and your eyes met. for a moment, the world stopped.

"yours?" he asked, holding up the pen.

you nodded. "thank you."

he handed it to you, his fingers brushing against yours.

"i am rin," he said, his voice low.

you told him your name, and he smiled.

that was the beginning.

you started meeting at the café every day. he was working on a novel, and you were writing poetry. at first, you talked about your work, his characters, your metaphors, the way words could build worlds. but soon, the conversations turned deeper. you talked about life, about dreams, about the things that kept you up at night.

"do you ever feel, as though you are endlessly searching for something, though you cannot name it?" you asked him one evening, as the two of you sat by the window, the rain still falling outside.

he looked at you. "all the time," he said. "yet i do not know what it is."

you didn't know either. but you knew that being with him felt like coming home.

one day, you showed him a poem you had written. it was about reincarnation, about the idea that souls find each other again and again, across lifetimes.

"i'll find you in another life," you read aloud, your voice trembling slightly. "no matter where you are, no matter who you become, i'll find you."

when you finished, you looked up at him, scared of his reaction. he was silent for a long time. what did he think?

"how beautiful," he said finally, his voice low.

you felt your cheeks flush. "thank you."

he reached for your notebook, his fingers brushing against yours. "may i read it once more?"

you nodded, handing it to him. he read the poem slowly, his eyes scanning the words as if committing them to memory. when he finished, he looked up at you.

"how curious. i, too, write of reincarnation," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"you do?"

he nodded. "it speaks of two souls bound by an eternal pull, always finding one another, lifetime after lifetime. they do not always recall their past encounters, but the connection that never fades."

your breath caught in your throat. "do they ever uncover the reason?"

he looked out the window, his demeanor reflective. "i believe it is because they are destined to be together," he said finally. "though first they must release all that holds them apart."

you felt your chest tighten. "do you think such thing is possible?"

he turned to you, his eyes meeting yours. "i do not know," he said. "but i believe it is worth seeking, with all that i am."

year 1941. childhood best friends.

the fourth time, you were childhood friends.

it was 1941, in a calm, tiny city. the world was on the brink of war, but in your small corner of the world, life was simple. rin and you grew up next door to each other, your lives intertwined from the moment you could walk.

you spent your days exploring the woods behind your houses, building forts out of fallen branches, and chasing fireflies as the sun dipped below the horizon. rin was quiet, even then, but he had a way of making you feel like you were the only person in the world.

"do you think we will always be friends?" you asked him one summer evening, as the two of you lay on the grass, the stars stretching out above you.

he reached for your hand, his fingers intertwining with yours before answering.

"i think we will always be more than friends," he said finally.

as the war loomed closer, the atmosphere in your small town grew tense. boys you had grown up with began to enlist, their faces filled with a mixture of fear and determination.

rin, however, stayed behind. at least for a while.

"are you not going? why?" you asked him one evening, as the two of you sat on the porch swing, the sound of crickets filling the air.

he looked out at the horizon. "i don't know," he said. "i just feel like i am supposed to be here."

but eventually, the call to duty became too strong to ignore. the day told you he was enlisting, the world seemed to stop.

"i have to go," he said, his voice steady but his eyes betraying the weight of his decision.

you felt your chest tighten. "i will write to you," you said, tears slipping. "every day."

he smiled. "i will write back," he promised.

the letters started almost immediately.

rin's first letter arrived just a few weeks after he left. it was short, just a few lines scribbled on a piece of paper, but it was enough to make your heart soar.

"dear y/n,

i miss your voice. the nights here are too quiet, and i hate it.

are you doing okay? tell my parents i am fine, even if it is a lie. tell me about home, about anything. just write to me.

i miss you. more than i should.

rin."

you wrote back immediately, pouring your heart onto the page.

"beloved rin,

thank you for keeping your promise, but it feels so empty without you. the town is the same, yet it feels like a ghost town - maybe it is just me. there are more women than men, though. did they all enlist, too? i do not remember. i only remember you.

school is dull without you. who should i tell about the stars now? i don't even know what is happening in the world anymore. only that you are not here.

every night, i look at the stars and wish for you to come back.

promise me you will.

please come back. i miss you. so much.

sincerely,

y/n"

his letters became your lifeline. they were filled with stories of the other soldiers, of the places he had seen, of the things he had learned. but they were also filled with something else. something deeper, something that made your chest ache.

"dear y/n,

i dreamt of you last night. even though my nights are restless, i forced myself to sleep for a few minutes, and there you were - just like always. we were home again, lying on the grass, watching the stars. you were talking, but i do not remember what you said.

i only remember the way you looked at me, the way the night felt warm, like nothing in the world could do anything to us.

it felt real. too real. like we had done it before, maybe in another life. maybe in a life where i never had to leave.

i miss you too. more than i can say. more than i should.

i will come back.

rin."

you wrote back, your hands trembling as you held the pen.

"my beloved rin,

i dreamt of you too. maybe it is fate. maybe we were always meant to find each other, in this life or another. i like to think that no matter where we go, no matter how far, we will always find our way back. don't you think so too?

i can not wait to see you again. but you did not promise me you would come back. you almost did, but not quite. do it next time, okay? you would not want me to be sad, would you?

i love you i miss you more than words can hold. some nights, it feels unbearable.

sincerely,

y/n"

but then, one day, the letters stopped.

at first, you told yourself it was just the mail being delayed. but as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, the silence became unbearable.

you wrote to him every day, your letters filled with hope and fear and longing. but there was no response.

"my beloved rin,

it has been weeks since your last letter, and every passing day feels like an eternity. i tell myself that you are just busy, that the war keeps you from writing, that the mail is slow. but the silence is louder than any excuse i can make for you. and maybe, just maybe, you have chosen it.

i tell myself a thousand little lies just to keep my heart from breaking, but i think it is already shattered.

i do not know if you are safe. i do not know if you are cold or hungry, if you have enough to eat, if you have made friends or if you are alone. i do not know if you still think of me. if, in the quiet moments between gunfire and marching orders, you close your eyes and see my face the way i see yours every time i close mine.

i miss you. i miss you in ways that feel unbearable, in ways that make it hard to breathe. i miss your voice, the way it could turn the worst days into something softer. i miss your laugh, the one you used to hide behind your hand when i said something ridiculous. i miss the way you used to hold me, like i was something precious, something you could not bear to lose. and yet here i am. lost. left behind. abandoned to empty nights and unanswered letters.

i still look at the stars, rin. every night. just like we used to. i try to find the constellations you loved, the ones you traced with your fingers against the sky, whispering their names like a prayer. and sometimes, for just a moment, i let myself believe that maybe you are looking at them too. that maybe, somewhere across this vast, war-torn world, you remember me.

but what if you do not? what if the war has changed you? what if the boy i love has been swallowed by something i will never understand? what if i am writing to someone who no longer exists?

i want to be angry with you. i want to scream and curse your name for leaving me behind, for choosing this war over me, for breaking every promise you ever made. you once swore you would never leave me, do you remember that? do you remember pressing your forehead against mine and whispering, "always. no matter what."

was that a lie, rin? or did you just not think i was worth staying for?

i know you wanted to be someone great. i know you thought enlisting would make you a man, that it would give your life purpose. but what about our life? did it ever hold any meaning for you? or was i just a quiet part of a life you were always meant to outgrow?

i try to be strong. i try to go about my days as if i am not coming apart at the seams. but everything reminds me of you. the sounds of boots against the pavement. the scent of fresh rain on the earth. the way the wind moves through the trees.

i wish i would have told you my feelings i hold for you. i wish i would have told you how much i love you and how you should not go to the war. that you are walking into death.

i have to ask. do you miss me at all? or has the war taken even that from you?

i do not know how much longer i can do this. how much longer i can keep waiting for letters that may never come, for a love that may no longer exist, for a boy who may already be gone. i do not know if you are alive, and that uncertainty is eating me alive, rin.

but if you are alive. if you are still out there, still breathing, still the same boy who once swore we would always be together. please. please write back. even if it is just to tell me that i no longer have a place in your heart. at least then, i will know to stop waiting.

with all the love i have left,

y/n"

but there was no response.

"do you think he is okay?" you asked your mother one evening, your voice trembling.

she didn't answer right away. instead, she reached for your hand, her fingers intertwining with yours. "i don't know, dear," she said finally. "but i think he would want you to keep living."

you didn't know what to say to that. but as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, you began to understand.

one night, as you lay on the grass, it felt like rin was laying right beside you.

"i will find you," you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper. "in another life, i will find you again."

and as the tears fell and the world faded away, you knew it was true.

year 1997. poetry truly lives forever.

the fifth time, you were desk mates.

the world felt both vast and small at the same time. you were both in high school, sitting in a classroom that smelled like chalk dust and old books. the desks were arranged in neat rows, and you found yourself seated next to him. rin itoshi. he was quiet, always scribbling in a notebook, his dark hair falling into his eyes as he focused on whatever he was writing. you didn't know much about him, but there was something about him, but it seemed like you couldn't figure that out.

the teacher stood at the front of the room, holding a worn anthology of poetry. "today," she said, her voice crisp and clear, "we will be analyzing a poem by y/n l/n, a poet from the 1920s. y/n, since you share her name, why don't you read it aloud for us?"

of course you have to read it a loud. you were named after the poet. your mother loved her since she was a kid. still, your heart skipped a beat. you weren't used to being called on, especially not in front of the whole class. but you stood up, clutching the book in your hands, and began to read.

"i'll find you in another life," you read aloud, your voice trembling slightly. "no matter where you are, no matter who you become, i'll find you. across lifetimes, across oceans, across the stars. i'll find you."

the room was silent when you finished. you glanced up, your eyes instinctively finding rin's. he was staring at you, his expression unreadable, but there was something in his eyes, almost unsettling.

"thank you, y/n," your teacher said, breaking the silence. "now, let's discuss the themes of the poem. what do you think the poet is trying to convey?"

the class erupted into chatter, but you couldn't focus. you kept glancing at rin, who was now scribbling furiously in his notebook. when the bell rang, you gathered your things, but before you could leave, rin stopped you.

"that poem," he said, his voice low. "it's familiar."

you blinked, surprised. "familiar?"

he hesitated, then opened his notebook and handed it to you. inside were pages filled with his handwriting. lines and lines of poetry, all about reincarnation.

"i dreamt of you last night," one line read. "not as you are now, but as you were before. in another life, in another time, i knew you."

your breath caught in your throat. "you're writing about reincarnation too?"

he nodded, his dark eyes searching yours. "yeah. i don't know why, but it's like i can't stop thinking about it. about the idea that we've lived before. that we have met before."

you didn't know what to say. the poem you had just read, the words rin had written. it all felt too coincidental, too real.

"do you think it's possible?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. "to find someone again, in another life?"

"i don't know," he said. "but if it is... i think i would find you."

your chest tightened, your heart pounding in your chest. "and if you did?"

he smiled. "i'd tell you the same thing i'm telling you now."

"what's that?"

"i'm glad i found you."

from that day on, the two of you became inseparable. you spent hours after school in the library, analyzing poems and sharing your own writing. rin's notebook became a treasure trove of stories about lifetimes and love, and you found yourself drawn to his words - and to him.

one day, as the two of you sat under a tree in the school courtyard, rin turned to you, his expression serious.

"would you try to find me in another life? if i would die today?" he asked.

you looked at him, surprised. "why would you say such things?"

"would you?" he ignored your question, his gaze unwavering, determined to get an answer out of you.

the weight of his question hung in the air, heavy and unrelenting. you hesitated. but then you looked into his eyes - those dark, intense eyes that always seemed to see right through you - and you knew your answer.

"yes," you said, your voice firm despite the tremor in your chest. "yes, rin, i would."

for a moment, he didn't respond. he just stared at you. then, without warning, he leaned in, his hand cupping your cheek as his lip met yours.

the kiss was soft at first, tentative, as if he was afraid you might pull away. but when you didn't, when you leaned into him instead, your hands gripping the front of his shirt, it deepened. deepened, becoming something more. something desperate, something aching, something that felt like it had been building for lifetimes.

when he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, his breath warm against your skin.

"good," he whispered, his voice rough. "because i'd find you too. no matter what."

you didn't know what to answer, but you didn't need to. because in that moment, under the shade of the tree with the sound of the wind rustling through the leaves, you knew it was true.

no matter how many lives you lived, no matter how many times you had to start over, you would always find each other.

you thought.

year 1978. strangers.

the sixth time, you were strangers on a train.

it was a cold winter morning, and the train was packed with commuters. you sat by the window, your breath fogging up the glass as you stared out at the blur of snow-covered buildings rushing past. the rhythmic clatter of the train on the tracks was soothing, almost hypnotic, and you let yourself drift, your thoughts wandering.

that's when you saw him.

he was sitting across the aisle, his dark hair falling into his eyes as he stared down at a book. there was something about him - you feel like you know him, but this was your first time seeing him.

who was he?

you found yourself glancing at him more than once, your heart skipping a beat every time he turned a page or adjusted his scarf.

you didn't know why, but you felt drawn to him. like a magnet pulling you closer, even though you were sitting perfectly still.

days turned into weeks, and you began to notice him every morning. he always sat in the same spot, always reading, always quiet. you never spoke, but sometimes your eyes would meet, and for a brief moment, it felt like you knew each other for decades.

one morning, the train was unusually empty. you sat in your usual seat, and to your surprise, he sat down across from you.

"mind if i sit here?" he asked, his voice low and smooth.

you shook your head, your heart racing. "no, not at all."

for a while, neither of you spoke. he went back to his book, and you pretended to focus on yours. but then, out of nowhere, he looked up and said, "do we know each other?"

you blinked, surprised. "i don't think so, why?"

he hesitated, then closed his book and set it aside. "i don't know, i feel like we know each other from somewhere."

"oh," you said, as the train neared your station. "i have to leave. i'll see you around," you smiled at him before hurrying out the train.

the next morning, he wasn't there.

you waited, your heart sinking as the train pulled into the station and he didn't appear. the days turned into weeks, and still, there was no sign of him.

you didn't know why, but it felt like a piece of you was missing.

year 2025. bury your feelings.

the seventh time, you were his manager, though neither of you was happy about it.

rin itoshi was a force of nature on the soccer field, a prodigy who had no patience for rules, authority, or anyone telling him what to do. he'd gone through managers like water, firing them one after another, until his mother - a woman as formidable as she was elegant - decided enough was enough.

that's where you came in.

you were the daughter of a close family friend, a rising star in sports management with a reputation for being as stubborn as you were brilliant. when rin's mother assigned you to be his manager, you knew it wouldn't be easy. but you also knew you couldn't say no.

your first meeting was a disaster.

rin stormed into the sleek, modern office of the team's headquarters, his dark eyes blazing with barely contained fury.

"i don't need a manager," he snapped, his voice low and dangerous.

you didn't flinch. "good thing i'm not here to ask for your permission, then."

he glared at you, his jaw tightening. "you think you can handle this just because you're oh-so-brilliant?"

you met his gaze without hesitation. "i know it."

from that day on, your interactions were a battlefield. you pushed him harder than anyone ever had, demanding perfection in every drill, every practice, every match. he resisted at every turn, his pride bristling at the idea of someone telling him what to do.

"you're not my boss," he stared at you after one particularly intense practice session.

"you're right," you shot back, your voice sharp. "i'm the person who's going to make sure you don't waste your talent. whether you like it or not. i promised your parents."

he didn't respond, but the look he gave you could have melted steel.

despite the tension, there were brief moments when you saw something beneath the surface. like when he stayed late after practice, perfecting a shot until his hands were raw and his breath came in ragged gasps. or when he quietly helped a younger player with his technique, his usual arrogance replaced by something softer. every time, you were there, watching him.

one night, someone knocked at your apartment door.

you didn't want to open the door. it was late. too late for anyone to be standing in front of your door. but when you peeked through the peephole and saw rin standing there, you knew it was going to be one of those nights.

you took a deep breath and pulled the door open, ready for another round of heated arguments, only to freeze when you saw him.

he was leaning against the doorframe, his duffle bag hanging loosely from one hand, his other clutching his phone. his usually perfect hair was a mess, dark strands sticking to his forehead, and his pale face looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"what?" you asked, crossing your arms, though you couldn't help but noticed how his eyes, usually sharp and focused, were dull with exhaustion.

"i forgot my keys," he muttered, voice hoarse and rough. "can't get into my place, and i have no one to call."

you narrowed your eyes at him. "you expect me to let you in? just like that?"

rin's lips twisted in a familiar, defiant smirk, but it didn't reach his eyes. "what's the alternative? i sleep in my car?"

you felt the familiar flare of irritation rise up within you. you hated the way he always seemed to get under your skin. the way he acted like he was always one step ahead. but when you took a second look at him, pale, tired, and standing in your doorway like he was too exhausted to even be annoyed with you anymore, you felt a sudden, unwanted pang of sympathy.

"fine," you said, stepping aside reluctantly.

he stepped inside, shoulders sagging slightly as he dropped his bag by the door. there was a strange tension between you both as he stands there, not making eye contact, like neither of you knew what to say next.

the silence stretched, thick with the usual animosity, but there was something else hanging in the air, something you couldn't quite place.

"i didn't think you'd actually let me in," he muttered, looking at the floor.

you shrugged, turning toward the kitchen. "i didn’t think you’d show up at all. it’s not like we’re best friends, rin.”

you both knew it’s not the full truth. you had fought tooth and nail from the moment his mother handed him over to you as his manager, but somewhere along the way, the constant bickering had turned into something else. a little more tolerance. a little more understanding.

still, you couldn't let him off the hook that easily.

“you really should’ve called sae,” you added, tossing a bottle of water his way.

he caught it, staring at it for a second before his lips quirked upward, just a little. “are you teasing me?”

you almost smiled at that, despite yourself. “no.”

he sank into the couch, closing his eyes and leaning back, his exhaustion finally catching up with him. you could see it now. the way his shoulders were tense, the way his hands were trembling just a little as he took a sip of water.

it was almost strange, seeing him like this. the usual confident, untouchable athlete is gone, replaced by someone who looked human, vulnerable even. it made the usual anger between you feel a little more fragile, like it could break at any moment.

“do you need anything else?” you asked, trying to hide the slight softness in your voice.

rin shook his head, not opening his eyes. “just don’t make me go back out there. i don’t know where else to go.”

there was a heaviness in his words. and for the briefest moment, you thought about it, about how much of him had been buried beneath the mask of a football star. but you didn’t dwell on it.

you stepped back, pretending not to hear the vulnerability in his tone. “don’t get comfortable. you’re only staying for the night. i have a ton of work to do, and i'm not babysitting you.”

rin huffed out a laugh, even though it’s weak. “babysitting me? despite you being my manager, i'm still older than you.”

the tension between you two simmered beneath the surface. but for the first time, there was a flicker of something else in his eyes. it was fleeting, barely noticeable, but you caught it.

it was something like trust. or maybe need.

you couldn't tell.

but for now, you let him stay. and when you finally turned away to leave the room, you thought about how this felt like there was something the universe tried to tell you both.

[sweetkpopmusings]

stray kids soulmate aus | h. jisung <3

a/n: oh boy do my jisung feels have me dizzy ! i love him so deeply and eternally it's ridiculous :,,,-) pics not mine <3

content: fluff, soulmate au | wc: 1.7k | warnings: none really! | pairing: soulmate!jisung x gn!reader | requests: open

♡ chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin ♡

the year you’ll meet your soulmate, you receive a one-sentence description of how you’ll meet.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

“jisung!” chan called from the entrance to the apartment, “you’ve got mail!”

jisung appeared with a confused expression, not able to recall any recent purchases that would result in a delivery. his confusion grew when he saw how bright and wide chan’s smile was. if he weren’t so sleepy from the nap, jisung probably would’ve put the pieces together as soon as he held the lavender envelope in his hand.

inside, there was a small piece of paper, with one sentence typed perfectly in the center: after a near-miss, they’ll recognize you by the sound of your voice.

chan shimmied his shoulders, “what does it say?”

jisung’s brain buffered, still not quite understanding what this was about. it clicked after the fifth or sixth time he read the sentence.

“how does this help me?” he groaned.

chan gently picked the fateful piece of paper from jisung’s hands and read it himself, “huh.”

jisung scoffed, “yeah.”

“at least it’s…..romantic?”

jisung’s unamused look was enough to make chan giggle, which allowed a smile to peek through jisung’s annoyance, “romantic, but an entirely unhelpful clue as to how i’m going to meet my soulmate.”

“ah come on jisung,” chan patted jisung's shoulder, “you’ve got the whole year to sort out what it means. let’s at least celebrate the fact that you’re meeting them within the next 12 months!”

though frustrated by the ambiguity of the letter, jisung could not deny the way he got an adrenaline rush at the thought of his soulmate becoming a part of his life soon. even if he couldn’t anticipate the circumstances of it happening, the inevitability of it changed his perspective on just about everything. the months passed, and the meaning behind the sentence never became clearer. but, by the time he could count the weeks until the year’s end on one hand, jisung couldn’t get the idea of love out of his head.

“jisung!” hyunjin laughed, “you’re making no sense right now!”

“what do you mean?!” jisung retorted, “is it really that crazy of a thing to say?”

seungmin joined hyunjin’s laughter, “yes, it really is that crazy. thinking of love so much while writing these songs must have melted your brain.”

jisung groaned, following behind his friends as they exited the clothing store, “i don’t even know why i’m arguing with you. neither of you have met your soulmates, so clearly you wouldn’t get it.”

“hey! you haven’t met yours either!” hyunjin frowned.

“even if we had, i doubt we’d agree with…whatever it is that you’re claiming,” seungmin made a face of disgust.

jisung’s eyes grew comically wide, “i’m not saying love is related to someone’s feet! i’m just saying, theoretically,” he used his hands to emphasize the fact it was hypothetical, “shouldn’t you know how to describe someone’s toes if you really, truly, deeply love them?” 

hyunjin grimaced. jisung gaped at his friends with desperation. a laugh burst into the air beside them and then wafted away, prompting seungmin to laugh.

“someone, a stranger, just laughed at your theory,” seungmin smirked, “now you’ll never convince me that it’s logical.”

jisung frowned. when he opened his mouth to make another argument, hyunjin shook his head and started walking to their building. this probably saved jisung from digging his grave even further, but it didn’t save him from overthinking the interaction. with each step, he felt a pang in his chest. it seemed unlikely, but what if that moment was the near-miss he’d waited for? he had been talking about love when they laughed at his statement. that had to be some kind of sign, right? 

jisung considered all the possibilities. by the time they made it back into the practice room, he convinced himself he was just desperate, grasping at straws for a sign. he never even saw who laughed, so he couldn’t be sure that they were laughing at what he said. in the end, jisung felt next to no hope and tons of embarrassment. maybe one day he could joke about this story with his soulmate. today, unfortunately, was not that day.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

you set your bag down, sighing in relief at the fact the day was over. 

you went about your evening routine, decompressing from work and listening to your favorite music. your workload was a bit stressful, so you were thankful that the day wasn’t particularly notable. if asked, you probably couldn’t describe anything about your day that stood out. seeing as your brain felt fried, you weren't going to complain about an uneventful day.

as you were getting ready for bed, you glanced at the lavender envelope on your nightstand. it sat there, carefully placed, for almost an entire year. every night you looked at it, trying to figure out any possible scenario that would match its narrative. nothing seemed to fit, not even your most imaginative scenarios. still, like clockwork, you picked up the envelope and traced your finger over the words inside: one day, they’ll make you laugh from a distance, and the next day they’ll confess their love.

you scoffed. sure, sometimes the fact that soulmates existed seemed too good to be true. but this? it felt like it was something that could only make sense in a romance movie, and a farfetched one at that. as you settled into bed, however, you remembered the only interesting thing that happened to you today. it was a fleeting moment, probably nothing special. yet you could hear the person’s voice so vividly, as though they were in the room with you. 

shouldn’t you know how to describe someone’s toes if you really, truly, deeply love them?

you laughed. whoever said that certainly had a mind of their own, which impressed you. still, you had a hard time imagining what would prompt that sentence. perhaps because of its ridiculousness, you wondered if that could be a sign. on the street, you had laughed–too loudly, you feared–when you heard them say it. you felt your heart rate rise, hopeful and excited.

you didn’t want to risk getting your heart broken like so many other times this year, though, so you ran over the situation again and again and again. you hadn’t even seen who posed that strange question. how could you know whether they were your soulmate? it wasn’t the first time a stranger made you laugh, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.

you tried to convince yourself that you couldn’t trust the encounter to mean anything, despite how that person’s voice filled your mind as you drifted off to sleep. a part of you felt that you would hear that voice for the rest of your life, even if only in your memory. 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

the next day was not as lackluster, but not in a good way. at work, nothing seemed to go right: plans went awry, mistakes were abundant, and every meeting went over time. you sighed deeply when you stepped out of the office, and you sighed again when you checked the time. the only thing you’d been looking forward to was the walk home because there was the potential that you could run into the person behind the voice again. given how the day had gone and how late it was, deflation replaced the small hope that you had clung to all day.

still, you felt your body relaxing as your workplace grew farther and farther away in the distance behind you. there were fewer people around as the evening commute rush had come and gone. you appreciate that, if nothing else, this walk home had offered you peace and quiet.

at least, there had been peace and quiet until someone bumped into you.

“ah! oh my god! i’m so sorry!” 

the person stared at you with wide, flustered brown eyes. you held your hand up to signal that you were okay–and that they could take a breath–but something kept you from speaking. brow furrowed, you tried to figure out what seemed so familiar about this person in front of you.

“wait! you’re the love and toes person from yesterday, right?”

you looked at the stranger with amusement, and jisung’s jaw dropped. he grew more flustered and his ears turned bright red. the embarrassment was quickly balanced out by elation. jisung’s mind recited that frustrating, fateful sentence over and over, until he knew it had to be true.

“i’m in love with you.”

jisung internally kicked himself for that reply. thankfully, you spoke before he had to stumble through another apology.

realizing that this was the laughter to confession of love plotline you’d been waiting for all year, your face lit up, “so it is you. i was hoping there was a reason that i couldn’t get your voice out of my head last night.”

jisung blushed even harder, grinning all the same, “yeah! it’s me! and it’s you! wow!”

“i’m y/n,” you chuckled, charmed by jisung, “what’s your name?”

“jisung!” he answered quickly, “y/n…y/n…” he paused to appreciate how it felt to say your name, “i love your name!”

“well, jisung, i would hope so, given that you are apparently in love with me.”

jisung laughed, hiding his face in embarrassment. at least his soulmate had a sense of humor. he bit his tongue, both to prevent himself from saying something ridiculous again and to cherish the feeling of you being right in front of him after an eternity of waiting.

“sorry again for bumping into you,” jisung rubbed the back of his neck, smiling apologetically, “where are you headed?”

“it’s really okay. it kind of worked out in our favor,” you smiled, which made jisung's knees feel weak, “i’m on my way home from work now.”

“oh! nice! would you…uh…do you think…could i maybe walk you home?”

you felt your cheeks hurting from grinning so much at how endearing jisung was, “you want to walk me home?”

he nodded enthusiastically, “yes, please! i’d love to have a chance to memorize your voice the way you memorized mine.” 

your heart skipped a beat. maybe you were already in love with jisung too. 

unable to think of a reply that could match the sweetness of his answer, you turned your head in the direction of your home, “i live down this way. while we walk, would you mind explaining to me your toe-related claim about love?”

he groaned, “if i do, do you promise not to bring it up again?”

you giggled, stomach doing flips at the way his pace matched yours right away, “that depends on how good of an explanation it is.”

“i’ll take it!” 

jisung’s eyes sparkled as he spoke to you, and you knew that, regardless of the subject, you genuinely could listen to his voice for the rest of your life.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[essektheylyss]

Hello, I am GAUGING INTEREST for a CR FIC ZINE.

I sent @ariadne-mouse this prompt (which she wrote a DELIGHTFUL ficlet for) a week and a half ago, and had the thought that one could make a VERY fun zine purely with ficlets of random encounters and scenarios at or around the Fjorester wedding, considering half of Exandria's invited, and wedding interactions can get wild. So I'm considering running one!

I am talking Shoestring Budget Production level zine. First ever Critical Role episode production level. Mid-tier but not bad "professor's scan of a PDF" level. Legible, but definitely minimal effort DIY. This would be super basic, on basic letter paper folded in half, none of this "zine that is basically an art book" stuff—I'm thinking all ficlets would be required to fit on at most one spread of pages, which is a bit over 600 words, so I'd probably cap it at 600 just to be safe. No fancy formatting, all fic for easier printing purposes (sorry), as the ultimate goal would be to print a bunch of copies to bring to the live show.

For this reason, if there was a ton of interest and submissions beyond the feasible scope of what I could print, there would probably be two versions; one comprehensive digital version that people can print at home if they want, and one shorter one to print for the event itself, prioritizing writers who are attending the live show because it's fun that way (with some kind of link or QR code for the full version). No money exchanged in any direction, no limitations based on taste or quality. It wouldn't really matter if some of them contradict, and there would be no expectation of consistency in terms of wedding details, but I would encourage ideas that are, if not wholly canon compliant, somewhat realistic within the confines of Exandria lore—i.e. Cerrit coming back from the grave to attend a random Borderline Celebrity Wedding doesn't necessarily make sense, but if there was a concept involving Dairon dragging along an Agrupnin descendant OC who is also an expositor because they know that Beau is going to be occupied with best man duties and needs someone to talk to so she doesn't have to make small talk, that could be funny as hell.

So, to recap, the general parameters:

takes place at or around Fjord and Jester's wedding

fics of 600 words or less

open submission

no continuity or consistency expectations or requirements across submissions

very loosely canon compliant (roughly up to the end of c3)

* I'd consider putting art into the digital version, but again, given this is meant to be as minimal cost as possible, I would not include art in the printed version regardless—especially as it would be printed in B&W.

[daretolovemyrambling]

the Medarda Clan

(picture above is from the arcane artbook, it's concept art for Mel, Kino, Ambessa and Kino's unnamed father. Mel's father isn't named or shown anywhere yet)

I don't think Arcane necessarily retconned this, so I wanted to talk about the Medarda Clan in the League of Legends Universe.

Mel Medarda, while banished from Noxus, likely still retained a high status because a part of the Medarda family also resides in Piltover.

It makes sense that Medarda family members don't just reside in Noxus. Ambessa says herself that she send Mel to Piltover in order to oversee their family's interests. And would it really be called "Medarda House" by Piltover residents if only Mel is in it? Mel would have also been only about 23 when she enters Piltover and 26 when she was a councelor in season 1 act 1 (here is a timeline I made for arcane: x) it's insane, even for her, to establish a well respected house in such a short time in Piltover.

In Legends of Runeterra (a Riot card game that explores the world of Runeterra in more detail), there is a card named Jae Medarda.

His description reads: "Heir apparent to Piltover's prestigious Clan Medarda, Jae preferred hunting ancient artifacts over managing the family business... much to his father's chagrin."

There also some other Medarda family members that we know of; on the League website you can find a map named "Medarda Heirloom", it shows trading routes the Medarda's use. It's a pretty old map though, I think it's from 2016 so I wouldn't really say this very relevant.

On the map you can find a letter by a Medarda Merchant named Jago writen to his nephew, Salob, who seems at risk of being banished.

I tried my best to make out every word:

Nephew Salob,

As much as I am forced to admire your frankly staggering & baffling level of self-belief in the face of numerous failures, failures that would have punctured the ego of the staunchest Zaunite braggart. I would like to confirm, in writing, that control of the Medarda Clan's commerical portfolio and access to the clan trade map. Which you have long coveted, shall not be granted to you - not now - not in time - nor never.

I suggest you take on a profession more befitting your natural talents - perhaps as a chem-lamp lighter - and be grateful to your aunt, my dear wife, that your ties with the clan are not severed completly.

This will be the end of the matter.

Sincerly,

Jago Medarda

The Medarda family seems to love exiling children that don't fit into the family.

I think Jago is now kind of retconned if Arcane is the new canon, or he's at the very least not the head of the clan and has married into the family. Sun Gates are what made a lot of the families in Piltover rich 200 years ago, it's not mentioned in arcane but we do see them in some arcane maps.

In Arcane Ambessa mentions that she fought battles from the Bloodcliffs to the Dalamor Plains. The Black Rose mentions that she might have had an affair while travelling through Basilich, at least fake-Kino claims that this is the area he heard rumors about Ambessa's affair in. I marked all these places with a red dot on the Runeterra map. Basilich is a Port City, if the affair really did happen here, Mel's father could be from any place in Runeterra.

I'm hoping they will expand on the Medarda family in the future, the Ambessa book will likely have some interesting lore about them in it. It comes out in Feb 2025.

From the Synopsis we already know that there will be a cousin of Ambessa that is named Ta’Fik. I'm guessing he knows that Ambessa had an affair and has bad blood with the Black Rose.

Ambessa Medarda: Warrior, general, mother. She is a woman to be feared, and the Medardas are unrivaled in their pursuit of glory. She has led conquests and armies. She has slain legendary beasts. She has made grave sacrifices in her ascent up the ranks. And for this she was rewarded: She entered the realm of death and was granted a vision of herself upon the throne of the vast Noxian empire. But before she can lead her empire, she must become head of her own clan. Yet the title is contested by her cousin and former confidante, Ta’Fik. He knows the bloody sins of Ambessa’s past. And he knows he cannot allow her to rise. They will fight a war for the very soul of the Medardas. But the war won’t be fought on battlefields alone. Ambessa’s daughter, Mel, can deftly break through the walls around anyone’s heart, and she’ll put her talents to use for her mother. Yet despite Mel’s strength, Ambessa sees only a child who lacks her killer instincts. Mel knows she can be the leader Ambessa wants her to be, if only she gives her time. With her family betraying her, enemies closing in on all sides, and unseen forces moving in the shadows, every day proves more dangerous than the last. But Ambessa will not bow. She will burn the world down to claim her place in it.

[sleepymarimo]

toji x fem!reader // sfw! a little meet cute moment with some sprinkles of sadness synopsis: reader cleans and maintains abandoned graves, including that of toji's late wife.

𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 doesn’t visit his late wife’s grave often, if ever.

it’s easy to say that it’s because he doesn’t care, that he’s lost all respect for the world and those on, or buried beneath it. yet, the reality is that he’s ashamed, a bit of a coward. how could he face her again? how could he read the letters of her name knowing he’d been unable to grant the one request she’d given him? take care of megumi.

he doesn’t know why he’s walking in the direction of the cemetery, an old, surely run down patch of land that’s now nestled between some homes just outside of shinjuku.

maybe the weight of his most recent job gets to him. maybe it’s nearing what would’ve been their anniversary. maybe the weather reminds him of her funeral, in which him and baby megumi were the only attendees.

a rock gets kicked a good few meters away as he remembers that day. her family had cut her off after she’d married him, seeing nothing good coming out of their future, feeling disdain at the mention of their daughter marrying man with not a thing to his name. toji scoffs. perhaps they were right.

the overcast sky does nothing for the scenery ahead, which consists of old, rusted cemetery gates and a wall made of dull, greyed stones.

however, a splash of color stands out against the monochrome background. it’s all instinct, the way his senses hone in, but it’s not because you’re the only other person in the cemetery, not because your colored scarf makes you particularly identifiable.

no, it’s because you, a stranger, are standing in front of his wife’s grave.

despite the numerous leaves on the ground, the rather quiet environment, you don’t hear him approach.

you’re focused on your task, your brows ever so slightly knitted, a bristly brush in your hand which you use to scrub away at any debris wedged between the letters of this grave. dust, mud, leaf litter… it gets removed with each gentle movement.

a bottle of cleaner is in your other hand, spraying the stone every now and then when it gets too dry or when a particularly stubborn piece of debris refuses to be erased from existence.

one little stain catches your attention, so much so that you ignore how the autumn wind nips at your cheeks. it’s just about removed. a little more, a little more…

“what are y’doing?”

a small gasp leaves you, or maybe you choke on air, and your hands retract from the gravestone as if you’d been burned. you take a couple of steps back, a natural response, wanting to put some distance between you and whoever else has decided to join you in the cemetery.

the sudden move results in you kicking over your coffee cup, your mind a mess as you crouch down and keep it from spilling any further. you put your tools away, too, placing the brush and spray bottle into a tote containing a few other items.

toji doesn’t mean to intimidate or scare you.

it’s just… how he is. it’s in the energy he carries, how he presents himself to the world that’s done him more harm than good. he’s suspicious of you, reasonably so.

when you finally stand and look up at him, he can see the anticipation in your eyes. your hands fidget, unsure of whether to retreat into your pockets or rise in self defense.

“i’m so sorry,” are your immediate words, sincere. “i didn’t know she had visitors.”

she.

why are you talking about her like you were a part of her life? toji is sure he’s never met you before. he doesn’t remember his late wife saying a thing about weirdos who hang out in cemeteries, either.

those green eyes of his narrow, just a bit. he doesn’t have to say anything more, his stance is enough. you haven’t answered his question and he isn’t going to ask again.

“i, um, clean graves,” you answer after a few heartbeats, a little put off by his stare. “i’ve been coming by for the past year, clean up every month or two. i usually wait and make sure no one comes by. i thought it was abandoned, i’m so sorry.”

the situation isn’t entirely new to you. it’s not the first time you’d been ‘caught’, and the reactions you’ve gotten have ranged from grateful to furious, but it’s jarring each time. how could it not be? you’re not a fool, you know these people meant something to someone, that they represent more than the headstones ever could.

your eyes remain on his, equal parts apologetic and bashful, clearly genuine.

toji’s posture relaxes, just a bit.

a part of that has to do with the smidge of guilt he feels. abandoned. he couldn’t be surprised. after all, he never visited, never paid for cleaning services.

perhaps a normal person would say thank you, but the words fizzle out on his tongue. he’s not one for such words, or at least that’s what he tells himself.

“it’s fine,” he ends up saying, curt, to the point, not giving away the extent of what he’s thinking or feeling.

even those two words have you feeling relieved, a long sigh leaving your lips. you can’t deny that you’re itching to leave, still a little unnerved. being alone with a strange man in a cemetery isn’t exactly on your bucket list, so you reluctantly reach down and grab your things.

your bag gets slung over your shoulder, but your coffee… well, you’re pretty much left with an empty cup now. the liquid had spilt all over the concrete floor when he’d spooked you earlier.

“i’ll leave her alone,” you promise him, truly not looking to cause any conflict. “sorry again…”

for a second, toji considers leaving it at that.

his eyes drift from you to your empty cup. he should feel bad, should be a decent person, but can’t find it in himself to reassure you.

he needs a nudge, and that nudge is given to him in the form of an acorn falling from the tree rooted over his wife’s grave.

the small object hits him right on the head, reprimanding him for his actions. toji grunts, his hand coming up to rub at the spot where the damn thing whacked him. he should’ve sensed it, should’ve been aware of its existence as soon as it snapped off the branch.

his eyes look up toward the sky, almost glaring, and for a second he can almost hear her voice, scolding him.

“don’t be mean, toji!”

with a click of his tongue, he looks back at you. you, who’d taken care of his wife in death as he’d cared for her in life.

inhaling, he decides to screw it all and take a step toward you. maybe being a decent human wouldn’t kill him. maybe.

“look, i didn’t mean to freak you out or make you spill your drink,” it’s the closest thing to an apology he’ll give, but it’s better than nothing.

he recognizes the logo on your cup, then nods his head toward the cemetery gates. “let me at least buy you a new one,” he offers, though by the sound of it, it’s quite clear he wants to do this for you. “what’s your name, anyway?”

you tell him, then he gives you his.

the sun starts to burn away at the clouds, warming the earth just as you’re about to leave the cemetery. things grow a little brighter, a whole shift in the atmosphere.

toji doesn’t comment on the gust of wind ushering you two out of the gates, the rustle of leaves which could pass as a hushed cheer. no, he won’t say anything, not even if the breeze on his back feels like the hands of his late wife, pushing him toward something new.

his eyes flicker down, watching you, noting the curve of your cheeks and the slope of your nose. he shakes his head, steels his heart, ignoring the small jump it does as you look back at him.

no, he won’t say anything, not at all.