#(in that weird way) it's always w a girl. which is literally fucking just the beginning of these tags restated. bc that feels like the thin

[ghostlypawn]

the way quarantine changed the way a large chunk of people consume tv is so obvious to me and it needs to change asap

[chaotic-history]

i am. thinking about the barbie movie

[b4tasquad]

Can I ask for a filly imagine?? Something like the guys finding out that he's seeing soneone?

MESMERISED: YUNG FILLY

Authors note: no you’re not mistaken… b4tasquad actually posted for someone that isn’t Niko😭 love love filly, so here’s this🫶

Warnings: none!

…

“What the fuck is up with you, man?” Filly, who had been previously giggling, looks up from his phone. For the past hour or so he had completely ignored all of his friends, instead texting you as the two of you made it a habit to send the funniest videos you could find. “You’re grinning like a mad man.”

Chunkz is not impressed as they’re currently loosing the match which they had been paired against Aj and Sharky for. He had noticed his best friend’s weird behaviour weeks ago. It was when he’d arrive to their meet-ups with his thoughts elsewhere, eyes shining and the weirdest explanations to back up his lateness.

“Don’t tell me it’s that gyal you won’t tell me about” Aj pauses the game, too invested in the topic to continue playing. Sharky himself is turned around to get the tea himself. At Filly’s silence, Chunkz rolls his eyes. “ Why won’t you show me her? You make it seem like she’s facially deformed with the way you’re hiding her.”

“You’re so fucking funny.” Filly counters, not being cool with his brother talking about his girl like that. Sure, Chunkz didn’t know you, curtesy of the agreement between you and Filly to keep it hidden, but he still didn’t appreciate what he was insinuating. To Filly, you were genuinely the most beautiful girl ever.

“You know I’m joking, bruva.” Chunkz laughs, and it’s impossible to stay mad at him.

“And besides, if she got you this hooked, she must be beautiful.” Sharky, the most respectful person says.

“Or mystery girl must be providing him the most pussy- whipping ride ever.” Aj’s quick to move off of the couch, protecting himself as Filly’s whole body comes at him. “I’m joking! I’m joking!”

The Colombian relaxes against the couch again, a smile resting on his face as he gets a new message from you. To this day, 6 months into your relationship, he had managed to keep you somehow hidden, but now he just couldn’t.

“She’s just so perfect you know?” He breaths out. “Every thing she does or says I repeat in my mind and play it in slow motion, because I’m just so…”

“Mesmerised?” Chunkz tries and his friend nods.

“Exactly!” Chunkz, Aj and sharky were literally known for violating at all times, but right now as they saw the absolute love on their friend’s face, they couldn’t help but admire it. “This isn’t just simping. I genuinely believe that she’s the only one for me. I get sick thinking about other girls, let alone even touching them-“

“Okay now.” His best friend stops him with a laugh. “Mandem’s getting a little too carried away.”

“Sounding like he’s putting a ring on it today.”

Filly pushes his friend, as the thought of marrying you gets in his head. “Shut up Aj. I’ve had enough of you.”

A couple hours later, Filly is sat against the couch, bowl of his favourite Colombian dish in hand. You were positioned between his legs, eyes moving from the tv in front of you to your food once in a while. Waking up today, you were feeling extra appreciative of your boyfriend and everything he did for you. He always went above and beyond to make sure the smile on your face never faltered and while it was just casual acts of giving for him. You looked at it entirely different.

As a person who had never experienced this level of kindness in a relationship, there weren’t enough words to describe the gratitude you felt towards him. In an attempt to try and show some of it, you had recreated a dish from his home country you knew he loved. It took you hours, a change of clothing and three different recipes, but in the end you had done it.

Filly noticed the second he walked into your home, the smell being a clear giveaway. Running into the kitchen, very childlike, he took a hold of your jaw to pepper kisses all over your face. You were sure your makeup would be ruined, but you didn’t mind, and it didn’t seem like he cared about having a little product on him either. He thanked you with the most genuine smile you had ever seen on a person, muttering Spanish words as he hugged you. With your little Spanish ability, you could faintly translate them to affectionate names he had called you in the past.

That brings you to now, the two of you cuddled up against each other as you watched a Netflix series you had been begging him to watch with you for months. As a particular scene that always managed to rile you up played, you could hear the faint gasp from your boyfriend as he puts down your food.

“Did that just happen?”

You nod as you copy his actions of putting away the food. There wasn’t anything more you hated than that scene as you could practically feel the betrayal through the screen.

Filly just looks baffled at the screen. “Wait why would she set her friend up? Lying to her like that.”

“Because she’s a bitch?” Turning around, you instead opt to lay with your chest on his. Taking a hold of his jaw, you slowly start to caress it. “Not everyone’s such a loyal friend like you, Felipé.”

He laughs at the use of his actual name, and not the username he had became accustomed to. “The govy? Wow you must really mean it.”

“I do” you hum, connecting your lips with his. With the awkward position you’re laid in, filly instead pulled both your legs on either side of his body, making you sit on him properly. As he trails his kisses from your mouth and to your neck, you giggle. “You basically tell them everything.”

Your words had no intention behind them, but filly stops and pulls away from you as he remembers what he had told them just hours ago. He wasn’t too sure how you would feel if you knew, but there was no doubt that telling you was better than lying about it. So with a a painful sigh, he rubs at his temple.

“Listen.” He drags out, making it sound much worse than it actually is.

Seeing the look of utter terror on your face, filly shakes his head quickly. “No, no. It’s nothing like that.” The Colombian reassures you, knowing you were thinking to deep into it. You cross your arms, still sat on top of him, as you wait for his words. “I might’ve let it slip that you and I-”

“No”

“Yeah.” He confirms, scratching the back of his neck.

“What happened?” You’re quick to ask, just wanting to know who, and why he had told his friends about the two of you when you had agreed to keep it to yourself for a while.

“I was hanging out with the guys and you and I were texting. Long story short Chunkz was like ‘I know you’ve got a gyal, you’re all in love, who is she’ and I just couldn’t hold it in ya’know? I just love you so much and-”

You cut his words of with a firm kiss, sensing how nervous he was becoming. Filly kisses you back with the same intensity, only managing to relax under your comforting touch. Once the two of you pull away, he’s quick to question you.

“Are you mad?”

You just smiled, finding it cute that he was this worried. Figuring it was from a place of care, you shook your head. “How could I be mad at you?”

Filly huffs a breath of air in happiness, a little grin on his face, and it’s probably the best thing you’ve ever witnessed.

…

Tag list:

@p3drii , @jiusz , @n1kodl , @shuuuuush , @w1shes43 , @alltoowill0w, @slutforpablogavi

(Check pinned to be added!)

[eddiesghxst]

crying bc i take a human geography class and apparently these people have a group chat with other friends and were talking and my name was mentioned bc i have connections to what they were discussing BUT a guy in the class goes “that’s my girl” when my name was mentioned bc i’m good friends w him

and a girl in said class said wtf

and later on he said “mine”

i have ZERO attraction to him because we’re friends and all and he’s (not attractive sorry) but i just need loser eddie to say that

mine mine mine

DHDNDJD IM SORRY THE NOT ATTRACTIVE ACTUAKLY SENT ME ROLLING BESTIE UR SO REAL FOR THAT

OKAY BUT now i’m thinking about eddie who’s in your history class and god that class is so fucking boring, so one day you find yourself just casually talking to eddie about literally everything under the sun.

which is fucking weird, eddie thinks, because you’re one of those people who’s not exactly popular but you mingle with the popular groups and that’s enough to get you just about anywhere you need to be in hawkins. so yeah it’s fucking weird that you and eddie have this super cool super nice super freaky friendship thing going on, but eddie can’t find a reason to care because he’s been crushing on you for years now.

and then one day during lunch you pass by eddie’s table with your little popular group of friends and you wave with a cute litte “hi eddie!” that has eddie practically seeing stars, but he acts all cool and waves as he says hi back. and the hellfire gang is looking at eddie like ??? what the fuck was that???

and gareth’s like “since when did you two become… friends?” and eddie just shrugs all cocky and cool like his heart isn’t racing, “what do you mean? that’s my girl.” and the gang goes ballistic.

but eddie won’t give those shitheads any details because well… there isn’t much detail to give aside from the casual friends you’ve become, but then eddie’s thrown in for a loop when he gets to history class later and you turn to him and you’re like, “so… i’m your girl, huh?”

and eddie is just waiting for the floor to open up and swallow him whole because oh my fucking god you were not supposed to hear that!

but then you shrug and you’re like “here i thought i would at least get a few dates in first.” and eddie’s looking at you like you’re a fucking alien because there’s no way you just hinted at wanting a date with him. and then you’re like “…now is when you ask me out on a date, eddie.” “oh! oh, fuck, yeah, i mean— wait, are you serious?” “yes, ed—” “holy shit— okay um… would you like to um…go on a date sometime?” and you smile all pretty like you always do and nod, “i’d love to.”

and god, the boys of hellfire practically lose their minds when you start sitting with them a few weeks later because how in the hell is eddie munson dating you?!

[g-xix]

Sidemen NSFW Alphabet | JJ Olatunji

Girl don't get in debt offering your life out for smut 😭😭. That being said I have just put my mortgage on the line for the Lionesses against Spain, and we did in fact lose. Devastating news. Cheer myself up w a JJ pic tho:

THAT'S THAT FINE MF I BE WRITING FOR 📢📢📢 Alr, enjoy the alphabet tho n suggest who's next xox (link to Harry's NSFW alphabet)

-----------------

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex) Both of you are so blissed out afterwards that he can't even think about getting up to do anything. I feel like his style of aftercare is just spending time together afterwards. Once that horny-brain mindset has worn off he's back to just adoring you and sticks to you like un-floured dough on your fingers- hugging you 'round the waist, cuddling and watching movies, pressing little kisses against your face and telling you how much he loves you...

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's) He absolutely loves his cock. Yeah, fat surprise that one. Loves his cock just out of pride for what it can do and the effects it has on you. And despite saying he's an ass guy, I feel like he's lowkey a tits guy. Or he loves them both equally. Either way- seeing either of them is always a massive turn on. Loves seeing your ass in leggings and always needs to whack it and run when he sees you bent over- but equally also loves just resting a hand on a titty when you two are just sat down cuddling. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) I think he literally loves seeing his cum on you or in you. Something about it is so weirdly hot for him. I think me most likes finishing in your mouth though- literally asking for you to stick your mouth open afterwards so he can see it on your tongue, before swallowing. Something about that feels so weird in hindsight as he gets his post-nut clarity, but in the moment it feels too hot not to do.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) One time whilst doing missionary he spotted a sort of protrusion in your stomach which caused him to stop for a moment in pure surprise, having never seen that in his life. Pulled out slightly so that he could examine it more, but noticed that as he pulled away it disappeared. Thrusting back in, it reappeared- and placing his hand over your stomach, he realised that it was his cock inside you that he was seeing- the tip pressing against your inside and causing that little bump. Something about that turned him on so much that now every time you do missionary he keeps one hand on that bottom bit of your stomach, unbelievably turned on at the feeling of his dick through your tummy each time he thrusted.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?) I think he's made it quite clear he knows what he's doing, and I believe every word he's said about it. He knows exactly what to do and probably knows the ins and outs of your body by heart- all the places that'll have you moaning so loud the neighbours are sick of hearing JJ's name.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Probably missionary just because of how the two of you have slowly adapted it to make it the best. Pillow under your ass so that he hits all the positions you need him in, he can wrap his hand around your neck to choke you how you always like it, and best for him, he gets to see your face and tits each time he thrusts...

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) I think your minds are too horny-filled to think about cracking a joke. All of that comes after the deed, when the two of you are spending quality time cuddling.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) There's hair there but it doesn't matter. He keeps it clean +  grooms it so that it doesn't become overgrown

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Fuck intimacy. He likes being able to make eye contact and speak to you, suree... But it isn't like he's trying to make it romantic. Fuck. That. This man is trying to get as rough, sexy and passionate as it gets. All the romantic loving comes in the aftercare- whilst doing the deed- he isn't focussed on being romantic.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) As much as the two of you like sex with one another, you also appreciate that sometimes j jacking off is the vibe. Thing is, JJ never wears earphones when he's watching something on his laptop with lotion in his hand- so if you're in the next room- you're hearing exactly what he's hearing.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Lowkey loves choking. He's generally more dominant and he loves just wrapping a hand around your throat whilst in missionary- gently squeezing the sides, looking down and seeing you with your hands wrapped around his own- almost begging him to apply more pressure. Something about it is just so sensual to him and always turns him on more

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Literally has zero shame. He likes doing it in the bedroom, sure, but something it just so hot about the thought of doing it somewhere he know the two of you shouldn't. The first time he'd had you bent over the kitchen worktop of the new apartment, he realised he wanted to do that shit in every position, in every possible place in the apartment. And it doesn't stop in the apartment. Wherever he could, he would do it with you. The car, hotels, hot tubs- sometimes you wondered whether he was a bit of an exhibitionist.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) It isn't hard for him to get turned on. But generally, it's just seeing you in even a slightly suggestive position, and his mind starts wondering. His motivation is thinking "Hey, we've never had sex here", and suddenly he's got you bent over the kitchen worktable with his head between your thighs. 

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs) Pretty down to experiment, but wouldn't try anything properly weird like scat or piss. Would assume that was a joke if it was ever even mentioned, because there's no way he'd do that

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Doesn't mind giving head, but receiving it is a completely different type of pleasure for him. I'd imagine he would say on Sidecast "My girlfriend gives the most MINDBLOWING HEAD", which makes everyone on set crack up, but JJ wouldn't be joking at all. This man has his hands clenched on the bedsheet or on the back of your head, unbelievably blissed out which your head wrapped around his cock. Isn't generally very loud or makes many noises whilst fucking- but whilst getting head, he's virtually shouting his moans.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Depends on the mood, but I think fast and rough is the way to go. As said- aftercare is when JJ loves being all soft, but whilst doing the deed I reckon it's a completely different ball game

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) I reckon he loves them. Loves anything to do with sex, and something like a quickie that adds a bit of risk, he's all up for. Plus he always gets kinda turned on seeing you in work attire, and so he always tries to sneak in a quickie before you have to leave for work

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) I think something about risks actually turns him on. Doing it somewhere he knows he shouldn't is like an achievement and he wants to do it everywhere he can. Would he take a risk like going no condom and relying on the pullout game, though? HELL NO. He may be stupid sometimes but he isn't stupid enough to take risks that harmful to the two of you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) He's really physically fit, so I'm tempted to say that he could go multiple rounds. Plus oftentimes, he's so blissed out and turned on at the same time that even after he's cum he wants to go another round just because he's THAT horny for it

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Sidemen literally BUY this man toys on videos. OF COURSE HE USES THEM. Often times just tries them once to see how they are, but has kept a few just based on how good they are. Probably finds you after using it and explains whether it's shit or whether "I don't think I've ever felt such convincing silicon in my lie"

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) I think he'd love teasing. Little bit of making you wait it out, having you beg- he knows it only makes it even better when he finally gives it to you- and he uses that to make the both of your orgasms just that much better

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Probably some low noises like groaning. I think he's deffo one to talk during sex, and I think he leans more towards degrading than praising. He used to praise more, but you admitted you kinda liked degrading and wanted to try it... Initially he was really bad because he didn't know how to say anything that was degrading but not genuinely mean- but once he started getting into it, the two of you REALLY started getting into it. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) Has probably tried roleplay before. One Halloween the two of you dressed together in a couples or a matching outfit, and whilst clearing a few years later, you found them again. One thing led to another and you agreed to try roleplay in them. I think JJ would've taken roleplaying seriously because he was actually turned on by the idea, but you couldn't stop breaking character and laughing because it was too much for you. Ended up just taking off the outfits and having sex without roleplaying, even though JJ discovered a new kink that day

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes) Probably big. Around seven to eight inches, average width. He's been CONSISTENT in calling himself a grower not a shower and icl i think I believe it. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) So mf high. Literally, he'll just be doing something and then the thought of sex crosses his mind and suddenly- BAM- he's got a hard-on and is coming to you. Doesn't help the fact he's so attracted to you that he can't see you do anything remotely sexual without his mind wandering.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Doesn't fall asleep afterwards, probs in a good mood afterwards. Can go and get on with his day if it's a pre-work quickie, or if it's post-work, then he'll just spend time with you- cuddling and spoiling you with his love 

-----------

Hope you enjoyed reading!! Feel free to interact- whether that be a comment, vote or follow! Requests open, feel free to submit what u wanna see... Much love!!

To see more, here's my MASTERLIST

And here's my WATTPAD, with 50+ more oneshots to read

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 1

Propaganda Under Cut

Mai

she’s constantly pushed aside for the zuko/sokka ship :/ like i’m not a fan of mai/zuko but they always forget her or make her a wingwoman or make her a villain. 

She's a very interesting character who had the misfortune of being the love interest of the series' most popular character, Zuko, which immediately made her public enemy No. 1 in certain parts of the fandom. Tbh I think she's more a victim of zutara (an m/f ship) than zukka (m/m) but zukka also screwed her over so it counts. She's at best sidelined and at worst demonized. There's a whole section of the fandom who'll swear up and down she's abusive for telling Zuko to deal with his mental health issues himself. There's whole essays on it and I'm not exaggerating.

tell me WHY people think she's abusive just because she?? got mad at zuko?? when zuko was being a horrible boyfriend to begin with?? because theyre both teenagers and they were literally Acting Like Teenagers?? anyway no more mai hate the world has moved past the need for mai hate

Elizabeth Midford

She started as just a cutie fiancée trying her best, turns out she's also a swordfighting genius, very under pressure to perform feminity in the Victorian Rose type of way. Fandom crucifies her bc she's Ciel's fiancée and they want him to be with his butler, Sebastian, the demon he sold his soul to for revenge

anime was a shitty canon divergent adaptation that butchered her character down to her "cutesy silly girly" persona, which obviously made the 2008 anime fans hate her with a passion (nothing wrong w being girly I'm just saying the adaptation made her super one dimensional) anyways fujoshis used to treat her as a villain because she's the fiance of Ciel,, who as u might know already was HEAVILY shipped with his butler, Sebastian back then (now it's kinda looked badly upon, nice tbh that ship sucks ass xD) She's a bit similar to Misa Amane from death note in the way she was treated. (Like an obstacle the yaoi ship must overcome rather than a person)

she's my silly little rabbit! i could gush about her character but i'll keep it short and just say that she's really well written and one of the best characters in the series. anyways she's ciel's fiance and she's like, rightfully annoying as any other 13 yr old girl would be but the fanbase fucking crucified her for even existing. she gets demonized for being 'annoying', but then ciel gets yaoishipped with an even more annoying guy. there is 100% an argument that lizzie/ciel is weird bc they're cousins (i personally don't ship it) but that falls flat when her detractors then ship the 13 yr old ciel with an eons old demon who Canonically looks like his father. the anime also never reached her main character development until years after its peak and that was only in a movie, so she really got the bad end of the stick here. not me though i had a giant crush on her when i was 12

[monggay]

holy fucking shit you guys. um. i came across. a treasure trove. of um, my past self. came across an old group chat w some friends back when i was like, 12-13, and. holy shit.

good news: apparently i did use to be somewhat talkative and not quite as anxious to talk and interact ! i used to be able to carry conversations! not well or inawkwardly but very much plenty! i used to be able to talk and joke around without taking a million psychic damage just trying to send a message and even just saying whats on my mind carefree without being anxious that itll be weird or that they didnt want me to say that or that i didnt have to scramble for words or be unable to come up with quips or anything to reply other than just 'lol' or 'lmao'!! i feel like these days i only know how to talk and word things in a given or meme way aka all my vocabulary is just. tumblr memes.

bad news: holy fucking shit i was so cringe. like. on another level. on levels unimaginable. i was straight up just. weird. you know, horny preteen discovering sex jokes and crude language and sex humor for the first time? straight up had no filter, loved to ramble, except also had zero social sense still and rambled to a weird and overly and uncomfortable degree where it was just awkward and often said things that just. made the conversation weird? i embraced that weirdness and like, good on me i guess, but i think i just usually ended up saying things? blurting anything on my mind, that well. technically arent bad? or seriously fucked up or anything but just like. will probably haunt me for the rest of my life if i look at it now.

also like. i dont remember any of it ??????? i vaguely remember a Few conversations, but a lot of it? just straight up. unfamiliar to me who the fuck is that i dont remember saying any of that shit that past me is so fundamentally different and alien to me i literally dont recognize or remember anything i did then anymore

apparently i was just a giant nerd who read way too much smut and was just a little too unashamed and had very little sense of appropriateness which yeah i get given my age then its that. age of you know. just got exposed to people being vulgar, recently transitioned to high school from elementary, which is probably like. a way more. fucked up thing that people realize sometimes. cause in elementary i always thought i was still like you know. a little kid. but going into high school (which is younger than in US hs, at 12 y/o) youre suddenly treated or like, expected? to be older? more knowleadgeable? you know that thing about how kids these days are all trying to be adults now and how theres really no more media like the disney teenage live shows that separate little girl to grown lady? i think that jut like, hit me a lot in 7-8th grade + the introduction of nsfw shit and fandom and the internet (cause like. i did not have internet in elementary school, At All. and then suddenly in high school i was supposed to have a messenger account for school, i had a phone, i could use the laptop, i think i had a weird relationship w the internet then, cause at that point all my friends were already exploring facebook and posting etc, but i was so anxious and shy about that already that i just never started (which like, continues to today, i still dont use fb at all, cuase it feels so weird and awkward to start now when i was so adamant against not using it in the past) aaaand ive lost my train of thought and the point of this sentence

[lafleshlumpeater]

・❥・ɪ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ꜱᴀᴠɪɴ' ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ, ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ

Out of all of the sad, stylish, lonely men I have liked which one did you ship me w most and why DETAILED PLEASE SINCE YOU WANT DETAILS FROM ME SO BAD.

・❥・ɪ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ꜱᴀᴠɪɴ' ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠ�� ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ, ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ

ˢᵉⁿᵈ ᵐᵉ ᵃ ᵍᵉⁿᵈᵉʳ ᵖʳᵉᶠ, ᵃ ᶠᵃⁿᵈᵒᵐ ᵃⁿᵈ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ˢᵖᵉᶜⁱᵃˡ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ⁽ᵃ ᶠᵘⁿ ᶠᵃᶜᵗ, ᵃ ˢᵉᶜʳᵉᵗ, ᵉᵗᶜ⁾ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱ'ˡˡ ˢʰⁱᵖ ʸᵒᵘ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵃ ᶜʰᵃʳᵃᶜᵗᵉʳ!!

remus lupin masterlist

i don't think you understood what i was asking for. but okay since anything you tell me i'd probably know anyways

moony ofc.

(all pictures from pinterest)

he's literally the best and i feel like you two would vive i mean vibe so much. for trope it's 100 percent be best friends to lovers bc i love that trope. and it's so appropriate for him (like i don't think you can see him falling in love with a girl from going on a blind date or smth). like you two would just click and then just be bffs. you would read together, do auror tings together, compete in promotions, like do everything together.

the moment he realised he was in love with you was when you got a magical tattoo which counted down the days until the full moon and on the night of the full moon it reads "moony". when you showed him, that was the moment he knew. little did he know, your excuse for getting it in the first place ("i always forget how many days are left until the transformation, this makes it easier") was actually because you always wanted a part of him to always be with you (doing this one bc ik you like adult moony better)

or if we're talking school years, then definitely enemies to lovers. like he'd be like "ok just bc she's slytherin doesn't mean she's bad" blah blah but then one day you get 100 percent on a test and he gets 98. and he's so. livid. bc 1. he's never gotten 100 percent before and 2. you were so smug that you got higher than remus lupin, the previous smartest student in the year. ever since you found out how much you could annoy him with even the smallest jibes, you took every opportunity to do so. slughorn said his potion was 'absolutely perfect'? whoops, how did those peppermint sprigs get in there? overheard him talking to someone about how much he wanted to read a book? the next day, coincidentally, you were reading the exact same book, a sly smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

one time, the latter occurred with a book about lycanthropy. you assumed he'd wanted it for an assignment, and you borrowing it from the library was sure to make him unable to complete it. you began to read, as you saw him make his way over to you.

"give that to me," he demanded.

you smirked, ever amused to get a rise out of him. "why should i?" you looked up at him innocently. "not my fault i got it from the library before you."

he growled and rolled his eyes, and only then did you notice the dark circles around his eyes, making him look like a panda. "just give it. i'm honestly not bothered to do this today."

"yeah? why should i do that?"

he snapped, having had enough, the exhaustion and frustration from last night channelled into his words. "because i'm a fucking werewolf and the transformations are fucking horrible because my joints get twisted all out of place if you didn't know, and some of them won't even go back in place properly and because of that my hip fucking hurts and the scratches on my chest are probably bleeding right now because i didn't leave the hospital wing with madam pomfrey's permission because last night was a full moon and i didn't want that stupid creep snape to get even more suspicious than he already is, and i need that stupid book to help me and fucking tell everyone for all i care because i'm sick and tired of all this crap and i'd rather get kicked out of this stupid school sooner rather than later. thanks for understanding," he ranted, punctuating it with sarcasm at the end as he grabbed the book from your limp hands.

as a slytherin, you had a weird knack for just knowing when people were lying. and from the sincerity in lupin's words, you knew he was speaking the truth.

and you just sat there, in shock, very unlike yourself as you took it all in.

back in the boys' dorm, remus was panicking.

"lily, i told her. i snapped and told her everything, she hates me, she's gonna tell snape and i'm gonna have to leave this god damned school and-" he sighed, hating the fact that tears of anger directed at himself were pricking at the back of his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

lily stroked his back comfortingly. "remus, i'm sure she won't tell a soul. she may seem to hate you, but honestly i don't think she does. and i don't think you do either."

"i- what are you on about?" remus questioned. lily smiled, her dimples deepening.

"whenever other girls annoy you, you don't give a single damn. but with her... she didn't even intentionally annoy you, and you were so pissed off when she got that 100.

"as for her... i know her well, and she's no attention- seeker. but she likes your attention, moony, and that's why she keeps irritating you. she likes getting a rise out of you."

remus shook his head.

"she hates me lily," he mumbled, slightly forlorn, and tried not to think about how he sort of liked how your eyes flashed mischievously when you ruined his potions, or how lily's words had suddenly made him realise how much he replayed your encounters in his head when he was trying to sleep at night.

you don't know why, but after that you began to be more lenient on him. just him. not stupid potter or his stupid best mate black or the pettigrew boy, just lupin.

it isn't an honourable thing to do, to give someone shit when they're already feeling it, you told yourself. which arse of a person makes things harder for a person when they're already going through so much?

you also decided to keep his secret. all whilst telling yourself:

just to spite him. just to prove him wrong, that i can keep a secret. that not all slytherins are the same.

you also found yourself becoming no kinder to snape, and began to notice how irritating and nosey he actually was. all coincidental, of course.

a month later, remus found a note addressed to "Lupin," in small cursive with a small vial in his bag at dinner after potions. curiously, he opened the note and:

"Lupin,

For the full moon tonight. It should help."

Nothing more.

And when remus scanned the great hall in half suspicion and half wonder to look for his culprit, his usual sharp vision missed the way your eyes flickered from his hands back down to your plate.

okay ngl i got very carried away with this but i kinda like how it turned out but it is a tad rusty

taglist: @kimorna @quickslvxrr

READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

[munamania]

bitch post time!!!!!! many revelations ok last night's vibes were HEINOUS but it provided so much for me and lydia to talk about and now i am gonna share with you yippee storytime

k so we plan to go to this valentines day showcase thing that the college radio is putting on last night. mind you at my place of work where i pretended that i had a family emergency and had to go home cause i didnt feel like going into work yesterday morning lol idiot... i was so paranoid my boss was there in disguise or some shit it was stupid. sorry um. yeah so ok i was largely like this could be a chance for friend groups to come together and maybe ill be able to talk to sams roommate and also like i do want to see more live music and it's free! so. anyway ok wait let me tell u abt the first part of the day

so me and lydia drive over some wine bottles to sam for him to use as props in a film. and sam and the roommate are sitting on their porch and we chat a little bit acc sam said as i walked up 'you always look so suspicious' and i was like 'ok u guys were literally just staring at me' cause they WERE and roommate was actually really nicely like 'oh no you're okay' and generally was just kind of inserting into our convo which well i had fun with naturally. um anyway and then who comes running up but teko! our buddy teko. and sams like have yall met and im like Of course and teko gives me a hug and i cant lie it was actually so sweet. i am also extremely touch starved but it was a nice hug. anyway. then i had to help roommate pick shoes alongside teko's fit and then i was like um Ok Bye. when i got back in the car lydia was like so i saw a neon sweatshirt... and i was like yeah <3 that's my man <3 sorry ok vibes get worse as the night comes

me and lydia end up getting to sam's late to 'pregame' this show and ig it was supposed be like. it was encouraged to dress formally. and i was wearing a dress that was too small and my chappell red tights and docs. kind of a serve but me and lydia were serving much more valentines day than formal. anyway. roommate does swing around to be like hi! and THEN i see my girl chloe i looooove her shes so fuckin funny and weird and we made this weird little short together in class last semester and i was kinda intimidated by her so i was so happy shocked when she was like I was so excited to see u :D WEEE shes so cool guys and has the funniest fuckin laugh and well honestly the high points of the night were us and lydia fucking around and dancing and being weird and offputting wallflowers cause again this thing SUCKED. ok

we did also smoke beforehand and i accidentally took this huge hit and then thought id be fine w a little more but brother was i feeling funny. did not eat enough and didnt take water it was atrocious. so. we get there and let me tell you if I WAS WORKING i'd have been able to fix the fact that it was soooooooooo fucking loud in there like bad bad bad audio distortion etc i wanted to kick this dude off the mixer but like what ever... it hurt so bad. and the lights were mostly on until chloe and sam duped this guy into dimming some of them but even still it was giving middle school dance. without the fun cheesy music. some of my instagram gay people are there. um but sorry there was simply no way i was going near that dance floor like the bands lowkey highkey sucked (i mean it was just a bunch of white college dudes and they did not slay. shocker. sam kept being like 'they're so good' and we were like um haha... straight face emoji)

we acc disappeared for a while to another floor for the br and just chilled for like half an hour (and security came to find us lmfaooo but ended up just leaving) and i was feeling odd and out of body and too aware of how i looked and it was just not great i was like we're the only bitches serving cunt here... um. anywho. so like later theres a slow dance and roommate is dancing with this other girl i only know from instagram till this point and i suppose if i was really feeling myself i could have tried to make a move but i was not. once again. vile vibes in this place. like i dont mean to be a pussy i typically would be much more charming and fun if i wanted to flirt and kinda felt the vibe from them but i was not really enjoying myself LMAO

then some more of the friend group shows up at the end and sam's like 'drama is actively going down' and im like Wuhhhh the fuck and i feel like a few of them r looking at me and i was just like get me OUT of here but for some fuck ass reason was still like nooooo we should go over and have pizza w sam and them. forgive me for thinking they had like frozen pizza or smth and i could get some free food out of this no we had to sit there and wait for dominos or whatever

AND THE MOST ANNOOOOOOOOOOOYING AWFUL TERRIBLE GROSS MEN YOUVE EVER MET SAT THERE AND JOINED THE BRIEF SMOKE CIRCLE AND THEN WERE JUST THERE AND LIKE YOU COULD JUST FEEL THEM TAKING UP SPACE AND US 'GIRLS' WERE MADE TO FEEL SO SMALL ON THE FUCKING COUCH I WAS SOOOOOOOO TIRED. had to get a sweater cause i felt so uncomfortable. girl i really was only there in case i could have a saving grace moment with roommate im so serious. well and for chloe but otherwise me and lydia shoulda been outta there

literally chloe was so excited to show our little video to people and sam cut us off from getting there to show us the fucking fidget spinner game he has on his tv. girl get out! oh my fucking god. finally lydias like Cool anyway so - like sams misogyny jumped out in previously unprecedented ways. it was bad. these boys were truly making me want to kill myself im sorry like it was so bad i have curated my experience so as to be away from that for so long it was really jarring. and what you need to understand about sam is that he's almost died twice and kind of has a funny little gender vibe going on and so for a while now yeah we've gotten along through silly odd things we relate through but holy shit....... that was so offputting i cant even wrap my brain around it

also sam very much walked me into like yaoi-fying him and his best friend and then was like haha noooo why r u calling us gay ur so weird bitch just fuck him already im tired and also dont care.. hes so attention seeking and not used to um not being the center of attention. sorry! oopsies anyway so

so then im like ew like i kinda need to reassess um. the people im around. and again cant stress enough how gross and judged and just kinda old i felt surrounded by these ppl even tho theyre all like within a year of age? and like roommate still seems maybe cool but since we didnt actually talk and they were off w the other roommate/other ppl i cant help but associate them w the odd vibes but like. honestly idk i might just try to uh slide into their dms rlly casually. bc. well idk how the friend group is fracturing and it wouldnt surprise me if they were annoyed with sam esp living with him but obv i dont really know. but again let me stress this friend group has been friends since their freshman year like what r yall doing yeah u do need to break up....

so i figure since they're hot (and kinda tiny i cant tell if they're shorter than me or just right around my height) (but also they kind of scared me by giving Instagram face while posing for a pic last night i cant do any more people giving off dorian gray rn. but i was also under the influence so um that didnt help) i could just yeah be brave see how it goes and worst case scenario it's not a vibe yk. and best case scenario i get to hang w them and teko. teko so gives francis. anyway

OH also sam and the friends insisted on listening to this ai generated… thing like idk guys i think i was in hell fr

also had several men yell out of their cars at me and staring at me as we walked to the bus stop :/ so men really do ruin everything btw

um. so. that was the night! thx for reading if u did. i am excited to be around other fun silly cool queer people god bless fuck these people

[star-sim]

OK HI AGAIN SORRY I WAS WASHING THE FREAKING DISHES 💔💔💔💔🤬🤬🤬

anyway erm...guys my OWN FRIEND who used to be MY CLOSEST FRIEND is going for MY EX whom she called when i was dating him and omfffgg she suddenly likes all the things that i liked about him (+ my interests in general which she too also dragged me for calling me childish 😭) ABD i confronted her the other day about it and i cut her off immediately cus i am not dealing w her bs anymore but it's the way she has no shame in continuously talking to him ?? and it's also the fact that she did this to my OTHER friend too and it's fucking crazy cus what im getting from this is that she did NOT learn from that 😭😭😭 like i genuinely thought she did but i guess not cus she wants to pull shit shit w me?? LIKE HELLO...ok sorry for the long ass ask LMAOAOA um...pls help people r so toxic here MY LOOTTRFFFD dude it's the way my ex also started to talk to me again but then decided that he had feelinhs for my friend like r u fucking serious make up ur mind (he's ugly Byw just putting that out there)

LIZZZZZ

GIRL START SWINGING

i have no patience for ppl like this, i would get so angry omg

YES CUT HER ASS OFFFFFF

i literally do not understand how ppl do this, the sheer amount of shamelessness is actually insane. this is fr so fucked up... have some DECORUM will you

her doing this one TWO SEPARATE occasions speaks volumes good lord... HAS SHE LEARNED NOTHING 😭😭😭

and your ex.... why is it always the Ugly Men

in socal everyone has this weird ego problem and they think that theyre all that... cuh youre 16 with a B+ in spanish 2 you are NOT all that 😭😭😭

thanks for stopping by lizzie wizzie! come again soon so we can shit on socal ppl bc... lbr they deserve it

<3

[pesterloglog]

Porrim Maryam, Kankri Vantas, Karkat Vantas

Act 6, page 5263

PORRIM: Kanny, leave this po+o+r kid alo+ne.

KANKRI: I'd appreciate it if y9u w9uldn't call me that. We've talked a69ut this. That's what y9u call a wiggler. D9 I l99k like a wiggler t9 y9u, P9rrim? N9, I d9n't. It's 6een three sweeps, plus eternity, f9r, excuse me, "fuck's" sake. I think we can safely retire that particular term 9f "endearment". Call me anything 6ut that, even my 9ther nickname. I'm actually 9k with that 9ne.

#micr9aggressi9ns #n9 wait #MACR9agressi9ns m9re like

PORRIM: I'm no+t calling yo+u Insufferable, Kanny. Well, no+t unless I'm using it as an actual adjective.

#And even then, pro+bably no+t to+ yo+ur face.

PORRIM: Well...

#No+t o+ften I mean.

KANKRI: It w9uld 6e nice if y9u'd at least use my pr9per name in fr9nt 9f my studi9us y9ung Alternian descendant. It really kind 9f er9des my credi6ility, and I d9n't need that in the pr9ximity 9f a fresh faced y9ungster wh9 clearly thirsts f9r kn9wledge. Why w9uld y9u want t9 sa69tage a fine y9ung man's educati9n like that?

#Fresh #Faced #Y9ungster #Kn9wledge thirst

PORRIM: Ro+lling my eyes here.

PORRIM: Can yo+u see? Do+ yo+u want me to+ light them up fo+r yo+u?

KANKRI: N9, 6ut thanks f9r 9ffering. C9uld y9u g9 r9ll them 9ver there? Thank y9u. N9w where was I.

#H9w d9 y9u even r9ll eyes with9ut pupils?

PORRIM: I do+n't think he cares.

PORRIM: Hey, there. Karkat? If yo+u do+n't mind my asking... are yo+u even remo+tely interested in the lo+af supplement this guy's serving?

KARKAT:

PORRIM: Go+tcha. Yo+u just said all yo+u needed to+ say.

PORRIM: Yo+u kno+w, yo+u are actually very cute.

PORRIM: That girl who+'s been wandering aro+und in the drago+n suit is a very lucky lady.

KANKRI: 9k, w9nderful. That c9nversati9n just came t9 an end.

KANKRI: P9rrim, please d9n't hit 9n my re699ted kid ancest9r-descendant. It's really weird. N9t t9 menti9n, he l99ks exactly like me? I mean, kind 9f 96vi9usly? S9 when y9u're hitting 9n him, it's like y9u're hitting 9n me at the exact same time, which like I said. It's weird.

#It's weird

KANKRI: N9t t9 get int9 all this again, 6ut the th9ught 9f dating y9u... it's just a strange and vaguely 9ffputting idea. N9 9ffense. It alm9st makes me understand at a visceral level the 6izarre human anathema 9f incest, which is s9mething I can't really explain. I'm just saying.

#Trigger warning #Incest #Anathemas #Viscerality #Vaguely #9ffputting

PORRIM: (Very deep sigh.)

#Oh my Go+d.

KANKRI: I'm S9RRY, 9k? I'm s9rry that I am, perhaps literally, the 9nly 9ne n9t t9 ever fall prey t9 y9ur tireless 9mnidirecti9nal s9licitati9ns, 9r t9 get swept up in 9ne 9f y9ur innumera6le flushed 9r caligin9us flings. I happened t9 always prefer y9u as a friend, and in any case, I always preferred t9 lead a relatively chaste existence, as it keeps me f9cused 9n fighting 9n 6ehalf 9f truly imp9rtant pr96lems. Alth9ugh staying "relatively" chaste t9 y9u I supp9se is n9t saying much.

PORRIM: ...

#Hey.

KANKRI: 9nce again, I ap9l9gize. I've 6lundered int9 the pr96lematic territ9ry 9f vacillati9n shaming, thus 9pening the fl99dgates t9 the myriad ways 9ne may 6e disadvantaged up9n 6y its staggering shame radius. I f9rg9t t9 check my piety privilege, and here we are. I was g9ing t9 c9ver this t9pic in a much later chapter 9f my lecture, 6ut we've g9tten 6adly derailed here.

#TW #Derailment #Train wrecks #Ch99 ch99 catastr9phes

KANKRI: Karkat, I'm s9rry f9r this interrupti9n. I pr9mise I'll get 6ack t9 my critical lecture as s99n as this pr9miscu9us 6usy69dy leaves us in peace.

#Village tw9 wheel device

KARKAT:

PORRIM: Yes, critical lecture. I'm sure.

PORRIM: And am I right in being just as sure yo+u are assiduo+usly deco+nstructing every co+nceivable, hypo+thetical fo+rm o+f injustice no+ matter ho+w o+bscure, except tho+se that I happen to+ think are kind o+f impo+rtant?

#Yes

KANKRI: N9. Just, n9, P9rrim. We're n9t d9ing this.

#N9

KANKRI: I am n9t g9ing t9 p9llute Karkat's utterly imperative crash c9urse, in which he is intr9duced t9 the A6S9LUTE 6ASICS, 6y indulging in y9ur pet issues.

PORRIM: Yes, ho+w dreadful it wo+uld be fo+r yo+ur sixty nine millio+n wo+rd essay to+ get bo+gged do+wn by even the faintest reference to+ the ro+les o+f gender in Befo+ran and Alternian civilizatio+n.

#"HUMAN SARCASM"

KANKRI: L99k, it's n9t that I'm insensitive t9 y9ur c9ncerns 9n that t9pic. I'm interested t9 discuss them with y9u 9n an academic, primarily the9retical level.

PORRIM: Theo+retical?

#...

KANKRI: I just think there is inherent danger in muddying the waters 9f disc9urse 6y intr9ducing s9cial issues which are suspect at 6est, thus c9nsuming crucial res9urces fr9m the limited cache 9f rhet9ric which pr9pels these narratives. And furtherm9re, 9ne c9uld argue it's m9re than a little pr96lematic, 9ffensive even, f9r y9u t9 6e appr9priating the lexic9n 9f sensitivity used t9 advance awareness 9f maj9r issues, thus reducing it t9 the level 6uzzspeak and pseud9science. It makes it m9re difficult f9r th9se 9f us wh9 are genuinely f9cused 9n p9sitive change t9 6e taken seri9usly, that's all.

PORRIM: Appro+priating??

#That's no+t #what that even #means?

PORRIM: PSEUDOSCIENCE???

#Yo+u did no+t just...

KANKRI: I'm s9rry, I just d9n't think there's much there. We aren't like humans, wh9se species 6izarrely en9ugh includes highly specialized r9les f9r 69th sexes in the pr9cess 9f repr9ducti9n, and s9 this naturally had s9cial ramificati9ns f9r the way their civilizati9n ev9lved. 6ut that's n9t h9w it w9rks f9r us, s9 I fail t9 see h9w gender fact9rs int9 the discussi9n in a way that can 6e effectively and rati9nally pr96lematized. Where is the r99m f9r unexamined privilege in the dich9t9my? I d9n't see it. And appr9priating the talking p9ints and awareness-raising tactics f9r du6i9us issues like this is, frankly, fr9wned up9n, t9 put it p9litely. Such appr9priative gestures 9nly serve t9 marginalize and invalidate th9se su6ject t9 seri9us, real life struggles and 9ppressi9n, and I guess I'm a little disapp9inted t9 see y9u 6eing s9 6lithely and inappr9priately appr9priat9ry.

#Fr9wned up9n #Fr9wns all ar9und #Welc9me t9 fr9wn t9wn

PORRIM: Kanny, I'm starting to+ feel just a little bit triggered by all this "appro+priatio+n" bullshit.

#Trigger warning: #Abo+ut to+ kick yo+ur tall pantsed ass

KANKRI: 9h! My sincere ap9l9gies. I sh9uld have d9ne a 6etter j96 tagging my statements, 6ut f9r future reference, it's helpful t9 alert y9ur c9nversati9nal partners t9 y9ur triggers well in advance. Sh9uld I g9 fetch y9ur m9irail t9 help settle y9u d9wn? And if s9, wh9 exactly w9uld 6e filling that quadrant t9day?

#It's the may9r, right? #G9tta 6e the may9r

PORRIM: Alright. Obvio+usly yo+u're in o+ne o+f yo+ur bratty mo+o+ds. I'm go+ne.

KANKRI: D9n't 6e like that. Really, we can talk a69ut whatever y9u like later, and I'll 6e really sympathetic, I pr9mise. Just n9t ar9und my pupil while he is still learning.

KANKRI: 9r... my descendant. What did I say? Haha. Karkat, I mean. Anyway, Karkat, again I ap9l9gize f9r that.

#N9w where was I?

KARKAT:

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 2 - Resurrect Bracket (Losers Bracket) Side A

ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to [make it to the finals]

John Gaius art cred @exmakina

Propaganda below ⬇️

Flayn Propaganda

she’s honestly so much more interesting than people give her credit for. like she often gets written off as “funny little girl who likes fish” but like,,, she is so strong?? after you save her in chapter 6 and seteths first instinct is to hide themselves away from the world again and shes like fuck that shit! she has so much more of a connection to humanity than the others of her kind and that shows in her solo ending vs her paired ending w seteth, wherein she emerges from hiding as soon as she can when on her own but she and seteth emerge to a fódlan thats changed a lot technologically, so far far later. and i love her supports with everyone and shes so genuine and sweet and kind. flayns great i love her.

Patron Saint of Fish 🐟

John

book quote from the chapters where he's relating how he got necromantic powers and people freaked out!! this is pre-apocalypse and resurrection so it's implied he took a lot of inspiration from this incident . He said, Then we took off. Thread after thread on message board after message board. People wanting proof. People asking what the fuck it meant. People talking about the LUCIFER telescope and saying we were aliens. People calling me the Antichrist, which was a trip. People writing up these long posts on how the trick was done, how I got the meat into the pie. Was I fake? Was I real? If I was real, what did it mean? Suddenly there were hundreds of people, all there at our front door. They came in caravans, they were sleeping in their cars or putting up tents. A hell of a lot of them had flown out internationally. He said, Some of them wanted to see the miracle. Some of them wanted my help, like, Oh, you’re the magical death man, can you do something about my body? Can you fix my fibromyalgia? Thing was, I could. That surprised me. I could take out their tumours. I could fix their macular degeneration. Big damage was easy, unless they’d actually lost the limb or whatever. Couldn’t grow those back. But I spent hours and hours a day playing Jesus. That was nice, those were some of the nicest hours I got to spend. He said, But when you’re doing the whole Go, my child, your knee cartilage is fixed, you’re going to get a lot of visitors. I had to turn people away because I had to eat, I had to sleep, even though I didn’t want to. M— had brought in her best friend, the nun, and I was worried I was going to get the Antichrist bit from her too, but she was just like: stop doing this! Read your Bible! This was Christ’s whole problem! I was like, What are you talking about, Jesus cured the lepers and everyone was all, Hooray, thanks man. M—’s nun was all, Are you kidding, Christ never said no and never asked anyone to pay and got way too much attention and brought the heat down on everybody. Christ didn’t keep to office hours, she said. Don’t do that. He said, So we limited Jesus stuff to one hour a day, and I always had to eat breakfast. But by then the whole world was on our doorstep.

look this is kind of weird but he is the only survivor after nuclear bombs destroy the earth and he has weird necromancy powers so he revives his friends and a few other people to be his subjects and basically makes himself a god to them. there's a lot of layers since he's literally the only character in the entire series who remembers the world before and has a concept of the religion he's copying for his own. he treats the other characters like toys he can push around for his own amusement and everything is a joke but he does this world-weary act that somehow gets the reader to kind of feel for him even when he's being atrocious. and he's the only one who remembers memes. which is a torture all of its own.

I said "yes" but to be more clear: he was canonically Catholic when he was still mortal, but that was 10,000 years ago and he kind of killed everybody on the planet. Just slightly. Some of them got better. Now he's the Emperor Undying and his empire is very Catholic-coded.

OP note: I got some replies saying he's not actually canonically catholic and this is "as Catholic" as he gets

[fecto-forgo]

top 5 robot characters

ok brain do noooot fail me now lets recall some cool robots.also ive decided to rate them on both how much i like them n how interesting i find the usage of them being robots.tho apology before hand it seems two robots who r only those in quotes due to technicalities made their way in

5.five pebbles (rain world)

ok so i love pebbles V dearly.character i heavily sympathize w, frankly one of my only favorites who actually expresses regret over doing bad things.that being said.hes.hes a giant computer im only letting him in here bc the iterator puppets border on being robots, n i think the way theyre used is cool! its a rly neat way of making iterators able to communicate w the player n the way theyre kinda puppeteered around by that giant arm is rly cool.but again barely counts.thin ice buddy.if anything moons a bit cooler bc she lost most of the computer part yeah actually pretend shes in the title of the entry too my girl deserves it.she put up w sm.

4.susie (kirby)

susie.is a weird case where.idk man we just dont know! shes a robot *to me* but ive seen ppl treat her like a cyborg some other mechanical being or straight up just some fucked up looking alien.n theres not a lot of robot thingies going on w her either.this always disappointed me a bit so its my lifes work to make my susie gijinka as explicitly a robot as possible.that being said still got no explanation for how she eats.shes just superior ig

3.metatton (undertale)

the trans allegory w how his body was made perfect for him n he loves it is rly cool but its been literally nearly a decade since my undertale phase so i sadly have lost a lot of my attachment, hes a rly entertaining character n all of his designs r rly good (someone saying they were struggling w beating his boss bc they were scared of their mom walking in on them fighting him n having to explain why the robot has such sexy legs lives in my head rent free) (also neo deserved better?? im still mad toby made it a fake out comedic fight </3)

2.gir (invader zim)

i have to obligatorily bring up gir bc.cmon this is a 2000s scene girl blog.he just has such a cute little design n bc its a cartoon its all squishy n stretchy n its so fun.that being said.idk i just dont have a lot of robot centered points to give him hes just a nifty little man made out of rubber metal

honorable mention:metal sonic (sonic)

i cant go without reminding everyone my boy exists.cmon its metal sonic.tragic guy ever.trapped in a narrative in a cell of capitalism bc any development to him would change too much from the status quo.i love him.his design is so fun its such a neat way to make a robotic sonic.his counterparts like chaos n shard n all the other robot sonic models all got cool points too ! great guy

1.cyn (murder drones)

ik ik i just bought her up i have her in my icon i kin her this is a safe blog for painfully biased ppl.but the reason cyn of all the drones wins number one spot for me is bc of how she moves n talks ! being a zombie drone she doesnt seem to function properly, shes constantly fixing her head from falling over n walking around a bit cowered n generally seems her movements dont flow naturally, she announces her actions while doing them (likely bc of some error from the zombie thing just making her naturally do that) n fully borrows her voice from the absolute solver (likely bc of some issue w her own) n generally the fact shes a robot that accidentally rebooted after being discarded n is clearly not running as intended is rly visible n i love it !!! i love robot characters whose roboticism is extremely relevant to their whole character instead of just being a quirky design thing.n ofc this all also resembles how puppets move which is such a fun double meaning thing to how shes the absolute solvers first host

[imnotoverlyobsessive]

In Your Dreams

Moodboard by @softhecreator

Epilogue

AO3 info one two three four five six seven epilogue

All my work is 18+.

He says, “Ooh, baby girl, you know we’re gonna be legends. I’m the king and you’re the queen and we will stumble through heaven.”- Halsey, Young Gods

“No way,” Lea’s younger sister, Ari, screeched over the phone. “I’m getting on a plane to New York right now—”

“You’ll do no such thing,” their older sister, Lina, cut in firmly. “You’ll stay in California. Your semester is starting soon.”

“I figured he was an Otherworlder,” Ari continued as if Lina hadn’t spoken, “like, obviously, look at his face, but an incubus, oh my god—”

“It’s really not as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be,” Lea said into the phone, which was currently on the dining room table of Lina’s apartment, with Sam, her best friend since childhood, and Lina—who liked to think of herself as the family’s voice of reason—seated around it.

“It sure sounds like a big deal,” Sam countered. “I didn’t know incubuses had mates that they, like, had to feed from or they’d die.”

“I didn’t, either,” Lea said.

At the same time, Lina interjected with, “It’s incubi, not incubuses.”

Ari groaned. “Don’t be such a know-it-all, Lina. Now is so not the time.”

“Yeah, Lina,” Sam snarked playfully, sticking her tongue out at the older girl.

“Are you guys not freaking out?” Ari demanded shrilly. “How are you guys not freaking out? Lea is the mate of a movie star who is also apparently a fuckin’ sex demon, and he will literally die without her, and oh yeah, let’s not forget, she’s also pregnant with his demon spawn!”

Lea groaned miserably, burying her face in her arms. “Don’t call it demon spawn,” she pleaded.

“Why not?” Ari demanded. “That’s what it is! He’s a demon, you’re carrying his spawn—“

“You’re embarrassing her,” Lina scolded.

“Maybe you should be at least a little embarrassed,” Sam pointed out. “Not about who you’re dating, ‘cause that’s dope and you’ve got bragging rights—“

“I don’t have bragging rights,” Lea muttered. “That would be weird, plus it’d draw attention to us both.”

Sam, however, continued on as if Lea hadn’t spoken at all. “—But ‘cause you’re pregnant at twenty years old, Lea, for fuck’s sake—“

“I didn’t exactly plan it,” Lea snapped. “I figured my birth control would work just fine!”

“Shoulda had him pull out, girl,” Ari chimes in. “Always have the dude pull out.”

“How is it fair that you lost your virginity before I did?” Sam whined. “He must be, like, so good, too—”

“Oooooo, yeah!” Ari exclaimed, clearly excited. “Tell us how he was! Spill, bitch!”

“I do not want to hear this,” Lina said, grimacing in distaste.

“Two against one,” Sam declared without hesitation, raising her eyebrows at Lea expectantly.

Lea fidgeted awkwardly. “He was, uh… good, yeah. Very good.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Ari said dryly. “I could’ve told you that. What else?”

“Like… intense, y’know?”

Sam’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean by intense?”

“He’s, uh…” Lea gulped anxiously. “He’s very grabby. And, like, rough or whatever.”

Lina frowned. “Rough? Does he hurt you?”

“Chill, Lina,” Ari told her flatly. “Good rough or bad rough? Did you like it?”

“I did, yeah,” Lea said quietly, flushing and twisting her hands in her lap.

“Good rough, then,” Ari decided.

Sam stared, perfectly manicured brows furrowed in confusion. “How is there such a thing as rough being good?”

“I’m not explaining sex to you, virgin,” Ari said, and Lea could practically hear her nose in the air.

“Hey—”

“Oh my god, who cares?” Lina groaned. “Lea is pregnant, she’s gonna live forever, don’t you guys wanna talk about that instead of whether or not you’ve had a dick up you?”

“Wait,” Ari cut in, “what’s his dick like?”

“Big, I’m guessing, ‘cause he’s a freakin’ sex demon,” theorized Sam.

“Well, yes,” Lea admitted, examining her hands and trying her best not to picture the barbels along the length of her boyfriend’s shaft.

“I know that voice,” Sam said suspiciously. “What else is there?”

“W— well, um…”

Even Lina looked interested now, leaning forward. “What is it?”

“He, uh… he has, like. Piercings.”

Sam blanched. “He has piercings on his—”

“No way!” Ari screeched for the second time that afternoon. “Timothée Chalamet has a pierced dick?! For real?!”

“Yeah,” Lea squeaked out, blushing to the roots of her hair.

“What kind?” Ari demanded. “Is it a Prince Albert or something else?”

“What the fuck is that—” Sam squawked, aghast.

“I dunno what they’re called,” Lea admitted, squirming in her seat. “He’s got these, like, metal bar… things… in there.”

“More than one?” Ari gasped. It took a lot to shock Ari.

“Uh. Yeah. There’s a few. Like, three.”

“What does that even feel like?” her younger sister wanted to know.

Lea frowned, pursing her lips. “Normal, I guess?”

“You don’t know what normal is,” Ari insisted impatiently. “Can you feel it?”

“Uh… yeah?”

“Okay,” Lina finally said, “I’m gonna need you guys to stop right there before I throw up.”

“It’s not our fault you’re a prude—“ Sam whined, displeased at having her eavesdropping interrupted.

“Some of us actually like dick and wanna hear about this—“ Ari was saying.

“Too bad,” Lina said firmly. “Have your dick discussion in earshot of someone who isn’t me.”

After several beats of silence, Ari decided, “Okay. Lea, your homework is to draw a picture of what it looks like. I want detailed photorealism here.”

“W— what—?!” Lea sputtered out in horrified shock. Sam was nodding with a determined expression on her face while Lina looked like she had smelled something particularly distasteful.

“It’s important,” Ari insisted.

“Uh, no,” Lea said firmly. “Not gonna be doing that. Nope.” 

“Oh, come on,” Ari whined.

Just then, a text came in.

Tim

When will you be home again ? I miss you so much and I really really need to be inside you, if you come home I’ll make you cum at least four times before I even fuck you and then…

Sam squealed with delight, grabbing for Lea’s phone. Thankfully, Lea was fairly used to this sort of thing and intercepted the movement, to which her friend pouted.

“What, what happened?” Ari demanded.

“Timothée sent an obscene text to your sister,” Lina declared as if the three of them didn’t have the same parents.

“Ooooo, what’s it say?”

“I dunno, she won’t let me see!”

“Okay,” Lea cut in, “I’m gonna go home.”

“Yeah, so your demon boyfriend can bang you again, like you aren’t already pregnant—”

Lea’s face flamed. “Shut up, Sam, oh my god.”

“Lea,” Ari cut in, her voice sounding halfway between excited and desperate, “do the drawing! Send it to me! It’s for science!”

“No!“

“I missed you so much,” Tim groaned against her neck, having pinned her against the entryway wall as soon as she locked the door to the apartment.

“That doesn’t warrant essentially sexting me while I’m meeting with my sister and best friend!”

“Couldn’t help it,” he muttered. “I don’t even have any naked pictures of you, y’know. I must compensate by seeing you naked in person as much as physically possible.”

He was kissing her neck and fondling her breasts, and, well. When he was doing that, she couldn’t exactly argue with him, now could she?

“Where do you want me?” Lea breathed.

“That’s my good girl,” he growled. “Right here, baby. Gonna fuck you against the wall. Would you like that?”

Nodding eagerly, she wrapped her legs around his waist when he hoisted her up.

“So greedy,” he chuckled. “Gotta get your panties off first, don’t I?”

“I want it now,” she whined.

“Patience, sweetheart,” Tim scolded gently. “I promised you four orgasms before I fucked you.”

“I want your dick in me way more than I want orgasms,” she insisted with a rapid shake of her head.

He laughed outright at that. “Fuck, I love you. Okay. Whatever you want, baby. Let’s get your panties off.”

It felt like an eternity before he was sliding into her, but when he finally did, only then did it feel like she was home.

“You didn’t know you’d get pregnant?” Nicole asked, shocked.

Lea was sitting at a table in Tim’s parents’ house—the one he’d bought them fairly recently—with Sam and Lina for moral support in a discussion with her boyfriend’s—should she call him that when they were literally destined to be together for the rest of time?—mother and sister. Not that either woman was unpleasant, it was more that the topic was stressful.

It was weird being around Nicole, because she looked like she wasn’t any older than Lea herself was.

“Uh… no.”

Pauline stared at her in disbelief. “How did you not know?”

“Well,” Lea hedged, “there’s a lot of stuff about incubi that’s not really… common knowledge, so…”

“But he didn’t tell you?” Nicole persisted.

At this, Lina frowned and turned her gaze on her sister. “Yeah, why wouldn’t he tell you?” she asked, suspicion etched clearly onto her face.

“We didn’t discuss actually…” She wrung her hands anxiously. “When he told me what he was, he didn’t explain too much about what would happen if we— if I agreed. And then when he woke up, I didn’t think to ask.”

“And you didn’t know that hormonal birth control doesn’t work with Otherworlders?” Pauline clarified, eyebrows raised.

Lea shook her head, embarrassed. “I… I guess I never thought about it. Before I met Tim, I’d never known any others, really. Not well, anyway. Just kinda in passing, y’know?”

“What about Grace Robertson?” Sam asked, referencing a girl they’d gone to high school with. “Everybody said she was fae.”

“She wasn’t,” Lina said, her tone flat.

“How do you know?” Sam demanded, annoyed at being corrected.

Lina shrugged. “I dated her the summer after I graduated. Not a fae, she’s just like that.”

“There must’ve been some secretive ones, at the very least,” Nicole mused thoughtfully.

“No clue,” Sam admitted. “There’s not exactly a huge Otherworlder population on the North Carolina coast.”

“So…” Pauline began thoughtfully, but her mother cut her off.

“Where are you wanting to raise the baby?” Nicole asked.

Lea blinked, startled. “I… don’t know?”

“You should consider getting a few different houses,” Nicole explained. “Children need a great deal of space, and Timothée’s traveling constantly.” She waved a hand dismissively, as if this was somewhat of an annoyance to her. “With regard to what you should expect, he doesn’t know, as pregnancies aren’t terribly common, but it’s important you’re aware.” She fixed Lea with a look that was somewhere between amusement and sympathy. “He will be an absolute nightmare the entire time.”

Lea’s eyes widened. “W— what? Why? How?”

“He’ll enjoy that you are carrying his child,” Nicole began, the other four women listening with wife-eyed fascination—and mild disgust on the part of Lina and Pauline—as she explained. “He will want to feed off of you almost constantly—“ Lea choked at this, unused to such a pragmatic discussion of sex, but Nicole didn’t seem to notice, continuing, “—and then he will feel terribly guilty for making you tired as a result of feeding off of you. He will be ridiculously overprotective and will not want you to do anything at all, which I found particularly annoying.” She rolled her eyes at what Lea presumed was a memory. “For your sake, I hope he’s not having to do any work over the course of your pregnancy. He’ll be even worse then.”

Lea frowned. “Should I just… stay with my mom during it?”

Nicole’s eyes widened and she shook her head firmly. “No. He’d lose his mind if you did that.”

Sighing, Lea wrung her hands in her lap. “It sounds like he’ll be awful to be around,” she admitted.

“There are some upsides,” Nicole told her. “He’ll go out of his way to make you happy—even more so than normal—and will want to do things for you. He’ll be very excited for the baby, as well. It’s not so bad, overall. Neither of my pregnancies were particularly difficult; it generally isn’t too bad for the human mate.”

“Is there any, uh…” Lea gulped anxiously. “Weird demon-y stuff I should expect?”

Nicole shook her head. “The baby will be a normal human until they come into their inheritance in early adulthood. That usually happens around seventeen to eighteen.” After a moment, Nicole clapped brightly. “Now then! Let’s discuss what sort of house you’d like here in New York.”

Nicole, as it turned out, was correct.

Tim was a total nightmare.

“Lea, sweetheart,” he was attempting to placate, “we need a minimum of six houses.”

“We do not!” she insisted shrilly.

“I’m in Europe all the time,” he explained gently, “and I want you and our daughter to have a stable home no matter where we are—“

“You don’t even know if it’s a girl,” she groaned for the bazillionth time.

“I want a girl that looks just like you,” he reminded her. “And don’t change the subject. We need multiple houses.”

“It’s excessive,” Lea informed him. “It’s an unnecessary expense.”

“It’s completely necessary,” he corrected her, “and it’s not like I can’t afford it. What’s the big deal?”

Lea threw her hands up in exasperation. “Alright, alright!” She grabbed her purse and made to leave the apartment.

“Where are you going?” he asked, concern evident in his voice.

“To get some coffee.”

“W— what?” he sputtered. “Lea, sweetheart, you’re pregnant, you can’t have caffeine!”

“I can have a small amount a day.”

“Says who?!” he demanded.

“The doctor, Tim!” she finally snapped. “God, you’re driving me crazy!”

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, sounding sheepish. “I just… I love you so much, and I worry about you.”

Lea sighed, turning to face him with her arms crossed. “I know. I love you, too. Just… just try and let up a little bit, okay? I know you just wanna help and take care of me and stuff, but stressing me out isn’t gonna help me or the baby.”

“Okay,” he agreed. “How can I help you de-stress?” Then he perked up, a thought occurring to him. “I can think of a few ways, actually.”

She snorted. “I’m sure you can. Why don’t you come with me to get coffee instead?”

Tim grinned brightly at that, taking her hand and leading her out the door.

She was surprised when he took her hand, threading their fingers together.

“Aren’t you worried about people seeing?”

He shrugged. “You’re my mate and the mother of my child. They’re gonna find out at some point. I don’t see any reason to hide it, really.”

Lea frowned as they made their way out of his building. “You haven’t even told anyone what you are.”

“No one’s ever asked, to be fair,” he pointed out.

“Well, it’s rude to ask someone you don’t know,” she reminded him, “and anyone who does know you wouldn’t say anything.”

He hummed. “Lots of Otherworlders have mates, though. And I think most people kinda assume I’m something, anyway.”

“That’s certainly true,” she agreed.

“Our usual place?” he asked as they made their way out onto the sidewalk, the breeze ruffling the hemline of her pink Ciao Lucia sundress. When Lea nodded, he changed the subject with a smile. “Have you decided on a name yet?”

She laughed. “I’m only a few weeks along!”

He grinned down at her. “So? It’s best we decide these things as soon as possible; I’m planning on getting a house for us not too far outside the city as soon as I can—I considered doing it while you were out for winter break, but you’d be five months along, and I don’t want you going through a move when you’re that far along—so we’ll be fine on that. The sooner you make decisions about the baby, though, the better.”

They went into the coffee shop and got in line. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her in close to his side. She leaned her head against him, inhaling his scent.

The cashier stuttered throughout the process of taking their order, looking at Tim as if he were a ghost.

Once they’d ordered, they stepped back to stand against the walls of the coffee shop, nestling in close together. 

“Excuse me,” came a tentative voice to their side.

They both turned to look at the girl who’d spoken. Lea blinked. “Uh… hi?”

The girl’s eyes widened, as if she hadn’t noticed Lea was there. “H— hi,” she stuttered out before looking back at Tim. “I’m so sorry to bother you, but if it’s not too much trouble, could I have a picture?”

Tim smiled politely. “Of course!” He pulled his arm away from Lea. “Can you take it, sweetheart?”

When she heard the endearment, the girl’s eyes got even wider, if that were possible. She didn’t say anything about it, though, giving her phone to Lea with a small smile.

Lea smiled back, snapping a picture of Tim with the girl, who thanked him profusely before leaving.

As it turned out, paparazzi had managed to get a bunch of pictures of them. They hadn’t even been out that long, but Tim had kissed her on the way back. Even if he hadn’t, though, the arm he had around her waist was telling enough.

There was what amounted to an online manhunt for Lea’s identity, and it didn’t take long at all for her to be located. She privated all her accounts, but she’d gotten plenty of hate already.

Tim flew them down for Thanksgiving. She knew she had to tell her mom about the situation during their visit. There was no way around it.

The house Lea had grown up in was a yellow coastal style home with five bedrooms and a large porch. The front door was, technically speaking, on the second floor, but this was not uncommon for houses built right on the beach. The living room, kitchen, and dining room were all on the third floor, as was the small guest bedroom. 

Directly to the left of the front door was the master bedroom, which was occupied by the only full-time resident of the house: Lea’s mother, Rosalie. Ahead of the front door, on either side, were two bedrooms connected by a shared bathroom. Each one was decently sized and had access to the balcony, so Ari and Lina were quite content with the rooms. To the right of the front door were the stairs to the third floor, and next to the stairs were a door that, if opened, led downstairs to Lea’s bedroom.

Lea liked it because she had an entire floor to herself, complete with her own bathroom and a private entrance. Her room may not be as big as her sisters’, but the privacy more than made up for it.

This privacy, she knew, would be absolutely essential with Tim there. He’d offered to get them a hotel suite, but Lea had insisted that for his first visit as her boyfriend and father of her child, it was important they stay with her mom.

Lea had told her mom she was bringing a guest. She knew Rosalie was assuming that the guest was Sam, who would, of course, stay in the guest room.

Lea was not looking forward to telling her mom about Tim. Rosalie did not like or trust men, and she would be very upset indeed about Lea getting knocked up by an incubus.

“Mom?” Lea called as she shut the door behind her. Tim had just popped up behind her in his customary black smoke, suitcases in tow.

“Upstairs!” called Rosalie.

Lea stepped inside hesitantly, gesturing for Tim to leave their luggage in the entryway. She didn’t think her mom would disallow them from staying, but she wasn’t sure how welcome they’d be after Lea broke the news to her.

Neither of her sisters had gotten there yet, so it was just her and Tim. “My room is down there,” she told him quietly, pointing at the door to the right of the stairs. “C’mon. If she explodes, she explodes.”

“Do you really think she’ll be mad?” he asked. She could hear the frown in his voice.

Lea snorted derisively. “Oh, yeah. Definitely. More at you than me, most likely.”

“At least there’s that,” he hummed. “None of this is your fault, after all.”

“In the kitchen, honey,” her mother called out as they reached the top of the stairs and turned the corner towards the kitchen. “I figured you and your guest would like something to dri— oh!” she cut herself off with a gasp when she saw who Lea was with.

Rosalie Blanchard was nearly fifty. Like her daughters, she had brown eyes and curly red hair, though it was graying at her temples now. She wore it in a bun at the base of her neck.

“Who’s your guest?” she asked, her voice as tight as the curls she kept pinned to her scalp.

“Mom,” Lea began, “this is Tim. He’s my boyfriend.”

Rosalie’s lips pursed. “Your boyfriend.”

Lea nodded, and Tim stepped forward with a somewhat sheepish smile. “Hi, Mrs. Blanchard. I’m Timothée. Or Tim, whatever.”

“Hello,” she greeted stiffly.

“Tim,” Lea said brightly, “would you go take our bags to my room, please?”

“The door next to the stairs, right?” he clarified.

Lea nodded, and he squeezed her hand encouragingly as he went back down the stairs. She knew he’d give her and her mom space as she explained the situation.

“You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend.”

Lea winced. “I wanted to tell you in person.”

“Is he good to you?”

“He’s wonderful, Mom,” Lea said quietly. “I love him very much.”

Rosalie’s eyes widened. “You love him?”

Lea nodded. “We should sit down.”

Rosalie looked scared now, swiftly crossing towards the living room and settling into a chair. Lea sat on the couch kitty corner from her.

“What’s going on?” her mom demanded in a voice that indicated she really, really didn’t want to know the answer.

“What do you know about incubi?” Lea asked after several tense heats of silence.

Rosalie’s eyes widened further. “Is… is that boy one?”

Lea nodded. “Yes. I’m his mate.”

Her mom shook her head rapidly. “No, you’re not. You can’t be.”

“That was my initial reaction, too,” she agreed, nodding. “I am, though. That birthmark I have, the one of the eight pointed star? It’s a symbol of a mate.”

Rosalie shook her head more. “It can’t be. Your sisters have the same one.”

“I know, yeah. I’m trying to figure out how to break that news to them,” Lea admitted with a wince. “But that doesn’t matter right now. I need to tell you about Tim.”

“Is he gonna come back up?”

Lea shook her head. “Not until I call him.”

“How long have you been with him?”

Lea twisted her hands in her lap anxiously. “Remember when I had to cancel my last visit during the summer?” When her mom nodded, she went on, “It was because I’d found out what I am to him. He was… he was very sick. He needed me.”

“Sick? I didn’t even know Otherworlders got sick.”

“Well…” Lea grimaced, trying to think of how to word what she needed to say. “You know what incubi feed off of, I’m sure.”

Rosalie made a face like she’d smelled something especially unpleasant. “I’m trying not to think about it.”

Lea looked down at her hands, still twisting anxiously in her lap. “Well… we met, you see, and we became friends. I didn’t want to have feelings for him, so when they developed, I just ignored them. But then…” She took a deep breath. “He wasn’t going to tell me. He just wanted to see me beforehand. One last time, he said. But he looked so sick, Mom.” She looked up at Rosalie then, trying to convey how strongly she felt about Tim, how scared she’d been. “I made him tell me what was going on.”

“What, exactly, was going on?” her mom asked slowly.

“He can’t feed from anyone but me now that we’ve met,” she murmured, looking away and flushing to the roots of her hair. “He was going to starve. He almost did.”

“And he never told you?”

Lea shook her head. “He knew I didn’t want a relationship with anyone, so he didn’t tell me. He said he didn’t want me to feel like it was my fault.”

Her mom hummed thoughtfully at this. “That was good of him.”

“I know.” Tears came to her eyes at the memory of how close to death he’d been. “He almost died because of me, Mom. He would’ve died if I hadn’t accepted him.”

“But you did,” Rosalie observed.

Lea nodded. “I did, yeah. I love him. I’m happy with him.”

“Aren’t incubi immortal?” Rosalie asked shakily.

Lea nodded. 

“How old is he, then? He looked to be not much older than you, but if he’s immortal…”

“We don’t know how old he is,” Lea admitted quietly. “He mentioned the Fall of Troy at one point.”

“So he’s over three thousand years old, then?!”

Lea shrugged. “At least that, yeah. Probably more.”

“You aren’t even twenty-one yet!” her mother snapped. “Besides, isn’t he sucking your life force away?”

She shook her head at that. “No, Mom. He lengthens my life, actually. If I’m with him, I could potentially just… never die.”

Her mother blinked at her. “Oh.”

Lea wrung her hands. “There’s something else.”

Rosalie tensed. “What else could there possibly be?”

“Well,” Lea began hesitantly, “there was a bit of a miscommunication, you see. When we… y’know…” Her mom winced, but she continued, “he had reason to believe I knew that hormonal birth control doesn’t work on Otherworlders. So we weren’t using anything other than that, and as a result…”

“You’re pregnant.” It was a statement of fact rather than a question.

Lea nodded. “I’m keeping it.”

“How in the hell do you plan on affording a baby, Amelie Juliana?” Rosalie demanded, using Lea’s full name the way she did when she was especially angry.

Lea hesitated. “Well… Tim can afford it.”

“He can, can he?” Rosalie scoffed.

“I know you’re not big into pop culture, Mom,” Lea began, “but Tim is an actor.”

Rosalie rolled her eyes. “Actors are just another brand of starving artists.”

Lea shook her head. “He’s not a small-time actor. He’s been in major blockbusters. He has plenty of money for us. He refuses to let me work, actually. Not that I’d want to anyway, but still.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Rosalie griped. “Alright.” She sighed. “Bring this boy of yours up.”

Lea nodded. “Tim!” she called.

He appeared in a puff of black smoke. Rosalie jolted.

“You told her, I take it?”

Lea nodded. “I explained everything.”

Rosalie stood then, striding over to Tim and completely ignoring the fact that he towered over her. “You got my daughter pregnant,” she accused, her voice sharp.

“I did,” he confirmed.

“Are you going to take care of her and the baby?”

“She’s my mate,” he explained. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.”

Rosalie pursed her lips, looking Tim up and down. She took a step closer to him, and he blinked down at her. “I don’t care who you are or what you are. If you hurt Lea, you’ll never see the light of day again.”

“Mom,” Lea groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I won’t hurt her,” Tim promised gently, glancing back at Lea.

Rosalie nodded, finally taking a step back. “Well then. I’m going to the store. Hopefully they’re not out of turkeys yet.”

Ten minutes later, he had her pressed up against the wall of her childhood bedroom as he kissed her neck and hiked her blue Burberry miniskirt up her thighs.

“This is a nice room,” he muttered against her skin. “Can I fuck you in it?”

Lea giggled mindlessly, snaking her hands up around his neck.

“I’d be insulted if you didn’t, actually.”

An hour and a half later, Lea was passed out—naked, which was how he preferred her—in his arms. It would be at least another hour or two before she’d rested enough to wake up.

Then, he heard the front door open from the floor above them.

“Lea!” a voice he didn’t recognize called, though it was slightly muffled. “Where’s your boytoy?”

Tim extracted himself from Lea’s embrace and quickly pulled a pair of sweatpants out of his suitcase and yanking his t-shirt from before over his head.

He gave Lea a swift kiss on the forehead and left the room as quietly as he could. Taking the stairs two at a time, he smiled at the pair of women. One he recognized as Lea’s older sister, Lina, and the other, he figured was her younger sister, Ari, whom he hadn’t met.

“Hello,” he greeted politely. Both girls looked so much like Lea—and her mother, too, if he were honest—that it was startling. They had the same curly red hair, the same dark eyes. They were even of a similar stature. “Nice to see you again, Lina.” Then he turned to the younger of the two. “You’re Ari, right? I’m Timothée.”

Ari stared up at him with wide eyes. Lina merely pursed her lips, unimpressed and asked, “Where’s Lea?”

“Taking a nap,” Tim explained. “She’s very worn out.”

“From an hour long flight?” Lina asked skeptically, an eyebrow raised.

“Errrrrr…” Tim grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably.

Finally snapping out of her trance, Ari rolled her eyes and stepped forward, hand outstretched. “Nice to meet you, Timothée. Lea’s told me a lot about you.”

“All good things, I hope,” he remarked with a good-natured smile.

Both girls opened their mouths to respond, but whatever they would’ve said was preempted by the front door opening again. Rosalie stepped through, carrying several bags of groceries.

Tim immediately rushed over to take them from her. “Here, let me get those. Are there more?”

The woman nodded once, then said, “Girls, unpack these, if you would.”

When Lea woke up a couple of hours later, she was surprised to find that Tim had successfully charmed her mother and sisters.

“I dunno how you did that,” she admitted that evening as he climbed into the shower behind her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mom smile at a guy before. She doesn’t even let Ari bring home anyone.”

“Dunno,” Tim said with a shrug, leaning his head forward to wet his hair. “All I did was help with the groceries and cooking and whatnot.”

She leaned back against his chest with a grin. “Maybe they just could tell how much I love you and decided to give you a chance.”

He hummed, wrapping his arms around her waist, one hand on her barely protruding stomach.

“They kept asking about the baby, y’know.”

Lea smiled. “And what did you tell them?”

“That you’re fifteen weeks along and refuse to accept that it’s a girl.”

Laughing, she turned slightly so as to kiss him. “We don’t know what it is yet. It could be a girl.”

He hummed. “We’ll have more either way.”

“Yeah?” She leaned up to kiss him again.

“Mhm,” he confirmed. “Ideally, you’ll be pregnant a fair amount of the time.” He trailed his hands up her torso to cup her breasts, teasing her sensitive nipples.

“Tim,” she said breathlessly, arching into his touch, “can I suck your dick? Please?”

“Fuck,” he groaned, squeezing her breasts roughly. “Anything for you, baby. Anything you want.”

She turned around and sank to her knees without hesitation, completely disregarding the shower beating down on her. She was unable to resist him long enough to even tease him before she took him into her mouth. His hand found her hair, and he guided her up and down his length, the barbels catching on her lower lip.

“Such a good girl,” he moaned. “Suck me so well, baby. Make me feel so good.” He was watching her, and she knew from the red in his eyes that he was feeding from her, too. Excited by the thought of this, she reached between her legs and started rubbing her clit. “Oh, fuck, Lea,” he said hoarsely. “Are you touching yourself, sweetheart?”

“Mhm,” she hummed around him, moaning softly.

“Like sucking my cock that much, huh?”

She moaned again, eager for more of him.

“Like that, baby,” he groaned, the hand in her hair clenching. “Suck it like that, fuck. Good girl. Such a good little slut, all for me.”

She rubbed her clit faster, loving how he talked to her.

“You gonna make yourself cum for me, baby?” he demanded. “You gonna cum with my cock in that pretty little mouth of yours?”

She moaned mindlessly around him, wishing he’d pin her down and fuck her, right there in the bathtub with the shower running.

“That’s it,” Tim encouraged. “Make yourself cum, sweetheart. Such a good little slut for me, aren’t you? Getting off on sucking my cock.” When she did nothing but moan, her hips rocking into her hand, he continued, “C’mon, baby. Cum for me.”

She moaned again, this time long and loud, and the vibrations must’ve been too much, because he spilled into her mouth.

She was dazed as he pulled her up, kissing her slowly, leisurely. She kisses him back, leaning into him as she did.

“C’mon, love,” he told her gently, “let’s get you clean and into bed, okay?”

“Mmkay,” she mumbled sleepily, her eyes drooping.

He washed her hair and body, keeping it surprisingly nonsexual—for the most part, anyway; he hadn’t been able to stop himself from squeezing her breasts as he lathered them with soap—before quickly bathing himself, too, and then drying them both off. He settled her into bed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her naked body close against his own.

“Wait,” she mumbled against his chest. “Did’ya lock the doors?”

“‘Course I did, baby,” he told her with a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Top of the stairs, back door, and bedroom?” she clarified.

“Mhm,” he confirmed. “Sleep, Lea.”

“Mkay,” she mumbled, nestling in closer to him. “Love you.”

He tightened his arms around her. “I love you, too, sweetheart.”

“You mad it turned out to be a boy?” Lea asked, glancing up at Tim from where she was bottle feeding their newborn son in their bed.

He settled down beside her. “No,” he promised with a smile. “I’d’ve been happy with anything. You know that.” After a pause, he added, “Besides, it’s not like we can’t have more.”

“Lea,” Tim said one day after she had put Theo down for a nap in the nursery they’d set up at their French estate, “why haven’t we gotten married?”

Lea froze in her tracks, blinking up at him in disbelief. “Uh… because you haven’t asked me?”

He stared down at her. “Oh. Alright, then.”

Approximately a month later, Tim took her out to dinner at Guy Savoy in Paris. He had rented out a private dining room for them, the way he usually did, and when he got down on one knee and told her that if he could’ve crafted the perfect mate for himself, he would’ve made her just as she was, she teared up. When he told her that as far as he was concerned, she already was his wife and that they just needed to make it official in the eyes of the law, she cried, nodding eagerly.

He slid the ring on her finger, and then he’d insisted upon finding a bathroom to fuck her in.

She’d needed some coffee after that.

As it turned out, Tim had several cousins. Shockingly, Ari and Lina turned out to be the mates of two of them.

Lina in particular was skeptical of this, concerned that her Mark indicated that she’d end up bound to a man, an incubus, but it turned out to be a succubus.

Ari, on the other hand, had zero issues with the whole thing.

Sam fell in love with a fae who was friends with Tim, who regularly gave her nectar to keep her from aging, and Lea’s mom insisted upon being turned into a vampire, refusing to leave her daughters behind.

It eventually got out that Tim was an incubus. He hid it for a very long time, but nothing remains a secret forever. By that point, however, it was quite clear that he wasn’t human; humans aren’t in the public eye for several hundred years without aging, after all. Still, he generally didn’t discuss his personal life, and that suited Lea just fine. No matter how long things went on, no matter how many lifetimes she lived, she never really got used to the idea of publicly being the wife of a celebrity.

Not that people weren’t aware, of course. She attended events with him and everything, he just wouldn’t discuss their relationship.

They had a lot of kids. Not all at once, or course. Their first five were in rather quick succession—over the course of eighteen years, if one could count that as quick—and then they waited a good long while to have more. But after awhile, when all five children were grown with lives of their own, he convinced her to let him get her pregnant again.

Family reunions were very hectic indeed. Eventually, Tim had to purchase what Lea insisted was a palace. To be fair, a house—though referring to such a large estate as a house was more than a bit of a stretch—of that size was a necessity if they were to house their entire family—their children, descendants, and relatives—at once.

“Oh, goddammit,” she muttered as she stared at the results of the pregnancy test.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” came Tim’s voice. He’d only just strode into the room.

Irritated by his apparent inability to control his jizz, she tossed the test at him.

He caught it without thinking, fumbling with it for a moment before examining what she’d thrown at him. He looked up at her with wide, shocked eyes, a grin slowly splitting his face. “Again?”

“Yes, Timothée,” she snapped. “Again. Learn to control yourself, for fuck’s sake! We have great-great grandchildren!”

He pouted, almost whining when he said, “It’s not my fault! You’re just so sexy, you don’t look nearly old enough to warrant adult children, after all, let alone anything beyond that—“

“No,” she told him slowly, “the issue is you’re a glutton.”

He frowned outright then. “Do you… do you not want it…?”

She pursed her lips, turning around and going towards her closet. “I didn’t say that.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on top of her head. “I’m sorry. I honestly don’t mean to. I just… I love you so much, y’know?”

Lea put her hand over his, lacing their fingers together. “Yeah, Tim. I know.” She sighed. “I love you, too.”

“Does that mean you’re keeping it?”

Lea snorted softly. “Of course I’m keeping it, stupid. It’s ours; yours and mine.”

“You’re mine,” he murmured, tilting her head up so as to kiss her.

She smiled against his lips, threading her fingers through his hair. “And you’re mine.”

Tag list

@ellamaianderson @shika1200 @blackqueenstarseed1 @gatoenlaciudad @esmaada @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @softhecreator @timolaurence @timmymyluv @oddlyenoughiamweird @leecrunchybones @s-we-e-t-t-ea @almostg @leespparker @bubblebuttwade @glizzymcguirex @starberry-cake

To be added, please ask 💗

[kylejsugarman]

Please don’t ever feel like you’re annoying us w your au! It really makes me feel like I’m watching Jesse live out his Happily Ever After in Alaska which is all I’ve ever wanted, your characters are so drawn out they’re basically canon to me now <3 Baby esp speaks to the Weird Little Girl I used to be who was also obsessed w marine biology (I esp love Orcas… Baby hit me w some Orca facts pls??) also would love to hear more ab this au + Mike lives w Jesse in Alaska au bc you know that’s my favorite 🥺👉👈

IM 🥺 literally i just need to know that things will be ok for him in the end, ill make the spinoff sequel show, ill build his little alaska world. it really means a lot to hear that people actually Like the au and the characters because its super special to me!! we all need some love and warmth and a little kid who pretends to be coral and fact checked the "blackfish" documentary, and no one deserves all that more than jesse tbh 💕

and u also know that my love for the mike + jesse dynamic got dialed up to 11 the first time i got within 10 feet of ur blog, so of COURSE i was going to figure out a way to get them back together. it just makes me so emotional to think of jesse not only having the closest thing he ever had to a positive male role model back in his life, but having someone who Knows what exactly he went through and how specifically, granularly fucked up it was. someone who knows what he means when he says "i thought i saw Him in a crowd today", someone who will listen and understand the extent of the depravity when he talks about his captivity. that just feels so important, to have one positive connection to his past that jesse can bring into his new life and also that connection gets to be mike!!! best friend mike!! who was already getting soft for the kid and seeing him here—free, in control of his life, no one telling him what to do—and with a soft place to land in his family just makes the heart grow fonder. mike is of course cursed to always be a crusty old man, but that doesn't mean he can't take the family fishing (towards the end, before everything fell apart, he'd started thinking about maybe teaching jesse to fish. it'd probably be too boring for the kid but its a good skill to have) and get baby one of those plastic "my first fishing pole" poles. it just really makes that aching emptiness in his chest that he's been trying to fill ever since matty feel smaller when mike comes up the cabin and opens the door to demi instantly taking his jacket and telling him that she recorded the toronto game for him since he was driving up during it, to baby solemnly informing him about how salmon migration patterns have changed in the area where they usually fish, and to jesse who always looks at him like that first time they first crossed paths in alaska, with that kind of pitiful, kind of heartwarming combo of disbelief and childlike glee. like he's afraid this is all a dream but doesn't want to wake up and found out. mike's less stingy with hugs these days.

[temporarymoods]

mwah

scatch what i said on that last post. idk her. im CHILLINGGGGG!!!

MarMon today: yes I celebrated. you gotta. duh. Patriot's Day-- a Mass thing!? Hilarious.

We went to the race and yelled and screamed and cheered on at various points. Walked a bunch. Got sunburnt in that shallow way, but my nose is pink. It was pretty emotional! So proud of everyone. Kept thinking that this is kind of one of the best things humanity can do. Anyway-- B)

Got sambas, lmfao?! Trying to look like a boy. Followed by some really good pasta. and then trying to look like a girl. i went to a frat! for the first time! i got champagne on my sambas. christened. the person who clocked me as queer at the party said "christened" after i had minutes prior. yeah. a good thing

- - i know the gender thing of it is ridiculous but for some reason my soft complicated body craves that sexual weirdness between men and women and particularly these young men and women in that..disgusting atmosphere. a disgusting atmosphere. really hungry for that generalization.. it's true. im really attracted to men

other than that^ being tough,

i went DANCINGGG!!!!!1!1!11!!11!!

and I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!!111!1

What a GREAT night!!! i can't put into words how amazing i feel even though that is why i came here...shucks. has the moment past? did i spend too much time on the queue?

My foot is sore as I type this. I came home so inspired and read up on country swing vs other kinds (I knew jazz swing was the thing, and swing dancin aint line dancin !) then i listened to a lot of good music:

Slow Dancing - Aly & AJ * total classic for me lmao. damn they have the best spotify top 5

Let's Get Married - Bill Elliot Swing Orchestra * when i didn't yet understand that i had to look up **country** swing music. now i know ;) god i cant wait to go again

-- what is it?! i think its that i really love to dance, to move my body, to try and get it right, to improve? to be good? to have fun in a choreographed way. to conform. the do the correct thing. idk

here's what i think its really about: i think i like smootheness. and i like the click of a phenomenon you can't pull a word for. and short counts. and intention. and shape. mostly shape. beat, sure, too. i like beat. i like rising to it, and not tiring. i dont know how i get so obsessed. i need to go back. that was exactly what ive been looking for for months, and what i thought i found but only got in part in the club, which i go to for the dancing, the loud music, the blindingness. but i dont contribute there. my ears are filled but the sound can only vibrate me a little. im not, swung, literally. and i cant provide energy to the space like you can witcha boots awn. so yeah, i think thats really it. dancing. i fucking love dancing. ive always fucking loved dancing. for real! really! i never got that good, yeah. but i fucking loved it thats for sure. i always wanted someone to actually teach me shit. they didnt do that enough in theatre. maybe they did. maybe i just wasnt that talented. not now though. dead. fucking. ass. just input my entire work calendar that i have access to because this shits getting real my life is mine and theres fan fucking tastic things to be doing with it.

alright...i could continue...i'll pick up the rest in my dairy ;* not gonna get too personal, phew. uhm. eh hem.

That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain

Tequila - Dan + Shay

End of Beginning - Djo * lmao i got on this because i saw some interview w him online as im jamminggugghh i got sucked in. then all this happened:

Change - Djo * so much better than the one blowin up btw

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics, etc * i looked up more songs like Change :| hahaha. then all this happened:

Lifetime - Yves Tumor

Pop Song - Perfume Genius

Here Comes the Rain Again - Eurythmics, etc

Here Comes Your Man - Pixies

Eye in the Wall - Perfume Genius

Boys - Amen Dunes * at this point my original mission is fucked. the intention's gone. i'm so far from where i started: country lovin

at the same time the joint i rolled before we went out and shared on the way home is getting its way through my system for sure. its approaching 2am, woah! full day tomorrow but not nearly as inspired at this one. this one's literally how you're supposed to live . well maybe beer not getting stolen at the bar mmmm. mhm. yeah i'll tack that on as well.

i didnt, dont, want to let go of tonight skrrreorgihveouhv!!!! uuuummm! yeah i should keep thinking about it. : ) : ) hehehehehe

Man! I Feel Like a Woman! - Shania Twain

<3 , so much ;)

Kate