Vaggie: "Okay ha ha, very funny. Who stole me and Charlie's laundry out of the dryer again- Angel Dust!"
Angel Dust: "Wasn' me."
Vaggie: "Are you wearing my fucking skirt!?"
Angel Dust: "Ooooh~ it's a FUCKIN' skirt, huh? This one kept special for when Charlie jumps ya?"
Vaggie: "Que te la pique un pollo- NO."
Angel Dust: "Aw c'mon toots, we all know you have one~"
Vaggie: "Give me back. My skirt. You. Ass."
Angel Dust: "Speakin' of... is it really still YOUR skirt, Vagina, if MY ass is the one lookin' so utterly fine and fabulous in it?"
Vaggie: "YOU DONT HAVE AN ASS, ANGEL DUST."
Angel Dust: "Yeah? Then what's this beautiful thang here, hmm?"
Vaggie: "I don't know because there's nothing there for you to even POINT at, twig twink!"
Husk: "HA!"
Angel Dust: "Ugh fiiine. Since you're being nice an' usin' my preferred pronouns-"
Vaggie: "Twig???"
Husk: "Twink."
Angel Dust: "-I'll hand over the girlfriend-fucking skirt. The delicius heat from the dryer's mostly gone now anyway. Jus' lemme grab something to throw on over it first..."
Vaggie: "Seriously? THAT'S why you took it?? Dryer heat?"
Angel Dust: "Next best thing to hot bath at the end of a day's hard work, baby! A day's VERY hard, throbbing, aching work-"
Vaggie: "I will throw this spear at you. I WILL ruin your stupid hair."
Husk: "Fucking do it."
Vaggie: "YOU shut up too. You're the one who taught him this in the first place, aren't you?"
Husk: "WHAT? I don't put on your fucking skirts!"
Angel Dust: "Wha' about her non-fucking ones?"
Husk & Vaggie: "Shut up."
Angel Dust: "Touché~ Protestin' too much, me thinks~”
Vaggie: "Husk- we all know you're the one waiting for the dryer to finish so you can drag the laundry onto the floor and sleep on it!"
Husk: "That's bullshit- you've got no proof-"
Angel Dust: "Cat hair, Mr. Whiskers."
Husk: "The fucking hotel has a cat!"
Vaggie: "That smells like a bar and also sheds feathers?"
Husk: "FUCK."
Angel Dust: "Don't break yourself up over it, kitten daddy- If you hadn't shown me the joys of laundry shopping, I'd never have known how GOOD I look in this jacket."
Vaggie: "???? You- IS THAT CHARLIE'S!?!?"
Angel Dust: "Goes good with the skirt, huh? If you two had a kid, they'd fucking SLAY."
Vaggie: "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING HER JACKET"
Angel Dust: "Look- she's the only one in this fancy prancy hotel that's got the same measurements as me, at least in the shoulder, hips, and torso department! The only one who's clothes don't smell like dead deer and dusty old radios, anyway!! I'm kinda low on options here, okay?"
Vaggie: "WHAT ABOUT THE OPTION OF DON'T StEAL OUR STUFF?? THAT'S LIKE, THE EASIEST FUCKING OPTION YOU COULD HAVE!"
Angel Dust: "Orrrrr, you two could adopt me as you gay lovechild and give me some fuckin' hand me downs. Or money."
Vaggie: “OUR WHAT!?”
Angel Dust: “Fuck it, give me money an’ I’ll buy my own clothes, mom.”
Vaggie: “I. Am. NOT-”
Charlie: “-hey guys! Has anyone seen my….”
Charlie: “…uh, Vaggie? Why is Angel Dust dressed like our gay lovechild?”
Angel Dust: “HA!”
Charlie: “And did he just call you ‘mom??’”
Vaggie: “I give up. Anyone needs me, I’ll be in the laundry room, shoving myself in the dryer on the hellfire setting.”
Husk: “You’ll have to fucking drag Niffty out first.”
Vaggie: “What.”
Charlie: “What?”
Angel Dust: “WHAT”
Husk: “She was crawling in head first when I left after waking up- uhh- after getting something.”
Angel Dust: (shrieking) “AN’ YOU LEFT HER THERE???”
Vaggie: “Oh shit-”
Charlie: “Vaggie- go! Fly!! Go go go now Now NOW- EMPLOYEE IN THE INDUSTRIAL CLEANING EQUIPMENT THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!”
- meanwhile, in the laundry room-
THUMP THUMP THUMP
THUMP…. Thump………… thump
Alastor: “…”
Alastor: (reaches over to knock on dryer door)
Alastor: “Having fun, dear?”
Niffty: (flopping limply half out of dryer) (battered) (scorched) (GRINNING) “Ow pain!”
Alastor: “Quite.”
Niffty: “Heheheh… heHEHEHEH.”
Niffty: (sets the dryer to max again) “More…. PAIN!!!” (shuts door from the inside) (grins from other side with her face pressed against the glass)
Alastor: “Fascinating.”
Thump…Thump. Thump. THUMP THUMPTHUMP-
Cherri Bomb: “…”
Cherri Bomb: “…Know what? You kids have fun. I’m just gonna go, like, break into someone’s house and murder them so I can use their washer and dryer. That’ll be less fucked up than….. whatever this is.” (hefts basket of bloody laundry and bombs) (waves over her shoulder while leaving) “Bye~”
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the cats of the park is just frostpaw finally getting some therapy
tbh tho I feel like them being separate from clan life would help her immensely. They’re not so wrapped up in this culture of battle so they have a new and refreshing perspective (and also frost doesn’t have to worry about ulterior motives because they are STAYING AWAY from THAT trainwreck that is the clans)
RE: Nothing in BB!ASC is set in stone until the arc is done BUT
One excellent thing ASC has done with the Park cats that is commendable, is that they're treated as legitimate. Not inferior or malicious. They're just another culture that Frostpaw is going to learn from. The bar is UNDERGROUND but we've finally hopped over it.
So I'd want to keep and acknowledge that.
I think I might have an interesting idea for Frostpaw's journey. Also, side note... I'm thinking BB!ASC will rename every book because these titles are actually awful, im sorry. So I'd call this one ASC: The Source of the River
Gonna jot these down;
So, to begin with, Frostpaw calls the human. While being heavily sedated, she has her first vision of Riverstar.
FROSTPAW DOES NOT HAVE A SPECIAL CONNECTION TO STARCLAN.
She NEVER would. Screw that. Instead-- learning to connect to this vision of Riverstar, to her ancestors and their wisdom, is a SKILL she would learn.
Frame the journey less as Riverstar's Side Quest and more as Frostpaw chasing the Revelation she had while anesthetized.
So when she wakes up, she's thinking about how incomprehensibly VAST Riverstar was. She can't even imagine how there's enough space in the world to contain such a being.
Even the Lake itself... the lake is just a droplet, being suckled like a kit on the teat of the Southern Inlet river
For a second, her troubles seemed like a small flea on the nose of a great, cosmic being. But as she reconnects with the mortal plane after her dream, the flea becomes an infestation. She doesn't know where to begin, or how she can save her Clan.
She thinks back to Riverstar. The river that feeds the Lake. Was that what he was trying to tell her? That she has to follow it to the source?
STOP 1: RIVER WARD
The BB!Tribe is massively overhauled. The Tribe of Rushing Water defines themselves as three Wards (Cave, Mountain, River), connected by living on the same stretch of river.
From them, she learns about connections. They are simply able to call upon each other for all they need, there's no need to "appoint" someone to manage everything.
Families and friends hold each other accountable, networking and negotiating constantly. When the group must act as one, it casts stones.
Their Stoneteller is a religious leader, but all cats connect with their ancestors by personally interpreting omens, even without needing to go see him.
(Contrast to BB!Clans, whose Clerics are the KEEPERS of holy knowledge, and it is a sin to interpret StarClan's will on your own)
Yet, there are downsides. She can see ostracised cats who skirt at the edges of the Ward, especially the descendants of a particular group (called Flicks) that she learns once tried to invade the River Ward.
Though they welcome travellers and have a positive view of Clan cats as "family," she learns that they freeze out those who break taboo. Even for smaller offenses-- social faux pas and personal disputes have caused rifts within the Ward.
And the personal omen interpretation means that two cats can try and justify their feelings with religious commands, leveraging any "soothsayer" (particularly religious cats) connections they have like a social pissing match, unless they're both willing to get dragged to Stoneteller.
From all this, Frostpaw learns that she CAN connect to Riverstar and her ancestors, even if she can't speak to them... and that she must LISTEN. Not allow herself to twist her ancestor's words.
And all the Wards are connected, by the source of a river. Suddenly she answers her question.
"How could the world be big enough to contain a being like Riverstar?" Because water isn't all in one place. It's everywhere. It pools where it can and flows where it cannot.
And yet-- a single people is connected by its water. Three wards, one River. Five Clans, one Lake... three siblings, one belly.
Her heart aches thinking about Curlfeather.
She thinks of when quarreling Tribemates are brought to Stoneteller to arbitrate, and be taught the truth. Brought up the river, to its source at the waterfall.
That has to be it! The source, the BEGINNING.
Stop 2 would be WarriorClan as she heads south, but I'm not sure what they'd teach her yet lmao. Monkeystar says "Hi! Do you want to learn how to play a kazoo"
STOP 3... I'd want to rename the Park Cats. Maybe the New Park cats.
(evil brain: "Neopark. Make terrible petsite joke. Be reincarnated as a lotus flower)
There would also be a BIG recap of Ancient Park culture, and the River Kingdom. Frostpaw knows they had KINGS.
And a lot of aspects that modern Clan cats have-- ceremonial sparring, mentors and apprentices, the Law of the Deputy... those came out of the River Kingdom, before its collapse in the Code Era.
But these cats are NOTHING like the glorious tales of a Kingdom warrior. In fact... this is THE park!
THE park that was destroyed, which King Arc-of-Park lead his people away from. How could it have been ruined if it's still here?
(Reality: the Park was shrunk and landscaped. It was destroyed in that time to the perspective of cats. Maybe she'll have some visions of the past through meditation...)
But the survivors, and those who chose not to follow their King... they remained. And they continue to thrive.
Like canon, have them teach her the ability to meditate. Unlike Tribe cats, meditation is about SIGNS, not OMENS. Omens are physical. Signs are psychic.
(Also i like Bee so im probably gonna keep him as Frosty's yoga coach)
She sees Riverstar a few times, has details of Curlfeather's scheme revealed to her in enough chunks to piece together,
but is eventually bowled over when her best, most productive meditation yet... results in a black shadow.
He has a shining pearlstone adorning his head, and deep, wet pools for eyes. Very few other features can be made out, besides his paw, which is shockingly normal compared to his wraith-like body.
Somehow, Frostpaw understands she is looking at a Patron. But she doesn't know who he is until he tells her, he is King Arc-of-Park.
Though remembered, he is not invoked often. The details of his appearance are lost. All that remains of him is his paw-- carried on in a few expressions and the -paw suffix. The one which Frostpaw herself currently bears.
Since Riverstar, his beloved son, so rarely speaks in straightforward terms, he has come to give Frostpaw her answers.
But before she speaks, trembling with desire for finally FINALLY getting the truth, almost frozen by the sheer volume of things she needs to know, he stops and tells her,
"You have earned the truth, Frostpaw. Be not afraid to ask for what you are owed-- but we only have time for three questions, and I shall ask three in turn."
Question 1: "What did you need me to learn?"
"Many things. How to find your own answers. The perspective of the thousand eyes you've met. The wisdom that only a pilgrimage can bestow. I, too, was no leader before I brought my people up the river, and now you too must save RiverClan. Have you learned what we sought to teach?"
She feels unsure... "I don't think I can know if I have, until I go home."
Even though he has no mouth, she can hear his smile, "That is a yes, child."
Question 2: "What am I learning about RiverClan and its history, if these New Park cats are nothing like my Kingdom ancestors?"
He hums, "You have come to the source of the river, and are vexxed to not find the water that is already swirling downstream? No cat stands in the same river twice, for it is not the same river, and they are not the same cat. Are my people gone, Frostpaw, or do they live on?"
Stunned, her jaw hangs open ever so slightly. She thought she knew the answer right away, but his simple question becomes a riddle on her tongue.
He tells her not to worry. She does not need to answer his questions immediately, as they're running out of time. Ask your last.
Question 3: "...did my mom love me?"
IMMEDIATE, "she did. Child of my distant blood, she loved you like a king loves his prince. Ferociously, ambitiously... selfishly."
He cradles her face in his one, massive, silk-soft paw, like he's reaching out of the shadows, across time itself. His last question, "She put you in a terrible position, didn't she?"
A lifetime's worth of love and agony bubbles out of the kid, "SHE DID. She DID and I never did ANYTHING to deserve this, I did everything she told me, and I just wanted to make her happy, and... and i miss my mom."
When she returns from her trance, she's crying.
But her companions are here to help her unpack all of what she just learned.
Will probably end up letting her recruit a little DND party lmao... maybe one cat from each pit stop. Heartstar shouldn't be the only girlie who's allowed to get expansion packs.
Make a little found family here that Frostpaw returns home with.
RE: NOT. CONFIRMED YET. NONE of this is BB canon yet. Just thoughts I need to get down.
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