#*breaking down*

[heyitsspaceace]

i’m still sobbing over the way that in the end it was nobody but the doctor who could tell the doctor that they could stop, that they could rest, that they could heal

and i think that expression of self love and care is so important and i almost cry when i think about it

[superhaught]

Breaking Down (Chapter Three)

Pairing: Leighton Murray & Reader, Leighton Murray x Tatum (background)

Warning(s): description of panic attack and vomiting, slight reference to eating disorder, angst

Words: 1600, Part 3/?

Part 1 / Part 2

Leighton attends the fundraising party for the Women's Center and things go badly. Luckily, reader is there to help again.

You attended the Women’s Center Fundraiser party dressed in an outfit that you hoped was giving “Shane from the L Word’s leather ensemble.” Not that you really saw yourself as a “Shane,” you just wanted to look hot. 

You were leaning against a wall, drinking a mocktail and talking with two of your friends, one dressed as Santana Lopez and the other in a “League of Their Own” style uniform, when Leighton Murray entered the door to the Women’s Center. 

Her costume was unmistakable - Cate Blanchett in “Carol.” Absolutely classic. You smiled and tried to catch her eye, which felt foolish. You doubted that she would remember you. It had been a number of days since you met her mid-panic attack and she hadn’t texted you. 

But Leighton saw you and her eyes lit up with recognition. She smiled and gave you a polite wave of her fingers, which you returned. She looked like she was going to approach you, but then her eyes darted elsewhere, your friend asked you a question, and you lost sight of Leighton in the crowd. 

The night continued uneventfully. You kept catching glances of Leighton; first, talking to Alicia (dressed as Elton John, Leighton’s ex - you were informed), and later, on the arm of a blonde you didn’t know (notably not in costume, Leighton’s current girlfriend, not her doppleganger as her appearance would suggest. Tatum, junior - you were told). 

Your friends caught your eyes following Leighton throughout the party and they teased you but indulged you anyways, supplying you with the context about who Leighton was with, likely to alert you to the fact that the girl who you were so clearly crushing on was not available. 

Your group was on your third round of drinks (just orange and cranberry juice for you, bottom shelf vodka with about as much juice as found in a LaCroix for them) and dancing along to the party music. But no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t keep your eyes off the blonde. 

Leighton and Tatum were examining the table of auction items. Leighton was smiling and reading the description of every item. Tatum was making a disgusted face as she picked up a handmade pinch-pot. 

You couldn’t hear what went down, but visually, the couple clearly got into an argument. After a moment of the heated exchange, Tatum stormed out of the building and slammed the door behind her. Leighton was frozen in place for a second before Alicia swooped in to talk to her.

You grimaced at the scene. Your friend gently touched your arm, “she’s like… the epicenter of lesbian drama, you really should let her go.”

You frowned, “yeah… maybe you’re right.”

Alicia left Leighton in peace and Leighton quickly darted to where drinks were being served. She angrily threw back two shots of vodka in rapid succession and then began counting in her head while waiting for the bartender to pour her a third. 

Leighton felt like the room was spinning. She wasn’t that drunk already, was she? Over the next few minutes, she became a victim to an onslaught of sensations: her throat tightened, her mouth filled with weirdly warm saliva, her ribs hurt, her hands tremored and all she could hear was her own racing heart pounding in her ears. 

Leighton beelined for the bathroom and barely got the door locked before she was retching into the toilet, this time, completely involuntarily.

She started sobbing as she flushed the toilet and the sobbing quickly evolved into hyperventilating. Leighton crouched on the floor and hugged her knees to her chest while spiraling down into the worst panic attack she’d ever had. 

Almost an hour passed and you hadn’t seen Leighton reappear after she had spoken with Alicia. 

“I’ll be right back,” you told your friends as you walked away and approached the brunette, “hey, Alicia, do you know where Leighton is?”

“Oh, um, I think she was going to grab a drink? Why?”

“I’m just looking for her, thanks.”

You started to squeeze between people at the party, heading toward the drinks. 

When you passed the bathroom, you saw someone banging on the door and shouting, “come on, you’ve been in there for like thirty minutes! I gotta piss!”

There was no answer from inside the bathroom. The yelling party guest tried the door handle again and it was locked. 

You slid past the shouting person and knocked on the door, “hey, uh, Leighton? Is that you in there? It’s… it’s your genie…”

You heard a gasp and a sniffle from inside the bathroom and then the door unlocked. You grabbed the handle and opened the door. 

“Hey what the fuck? No cutting the line!” 

“Find somewhere else to piss!” You responded before closing and locking the door again and finding yourself standing over the form of Leighton Murray crouching on the bathroom floor, tears streaming down her face. 

Leighton could barely speak while hyperventilating, she choked out words between gasps for air, “it’s… happ- happening… again!”

You knelt down beside her and wrapped your arms around her, “Leighton it’s okay… you’re safe. You’re going to be alright.”

Leighton trembled in your arms and continued to sob. Her breathing was ragged and high in her throat. She gripped your forearm tightly and nearly carved crescent moons into your skin with her nails but you didn’t mind. 

You slid the fur coat she was wearing off her shoulders and untied the costume scarf around her head, “is this okay?” 

She nodded, so you took the pins out of her updo and ran your fingers through her hair to ease it out of the tight style and let it fall down her back.

Slowly but surely, Leighton calmed. Enough, at least, to speak, “I hate this… I wish this wouldn’t keep happening… I’m falling apart…”

“Oh, Leighton…” you hugged her as tight as you could and rubbed her back. 

She buried her face into the crook of your neck while her crying slowed and her breathing continued to steady. Leighton sniffled, pulled away slightly and wiped her nose on her sleeve, “I’m… I’m such a fucking mess…”

You wiped the streaks of tears off of her cheek with the back of your hand. You didn’t have the faintest idea of what to say at this moment so you just remained quiet, giving her the option to fill the silence if she wanted to. 

“Why… Why do you keep rescuing me?”

“I don’t know, Leighton… it just seems like you need it right now."

She stared at you for a moment with wide eyes, wet and red from crying, “what do I do?”

“Let's just focus on getting you out of here, kay?”

Leighton nodded. 

You took her hands and slowly stood with her, “there, take it slow, that’s it. I’ve got you.”

You led Leighton out of the party with your arm around her shoulder and the other hand holding hers.

Leighton interlaced her fingers with yours and squeezed you so tight that it almost hurt. Once you were outside of the building, she took a deep breath of chilly air and closed her eyes for a moment. 

When she was ready, you started along the path to her dorm, which you knew now.

“Can I make a strange request?” she asked softly. 

“What’s up?”

“Could… could I maybe crash at yours? Just for tonight, of course… I don’t… I don’t want to go back to my room…”

“You’re sure that’s what you want?”

Leighton nodded nervously.

“Then, yes, of course. You can come to my dorm.”

You instructed Leighton to sit on your bed while you grabbed a pajama shirt and sweatshorts of yours for her to sleep in. 

Handing her the folded clothes, you said, “the bathroom is just through there. Do you need anything else? I think I have a backup toothbrush around here somewhere…”

“I… that would be nice… are you sure this is okay?”

“It’s totally okay, I promise.”

You found an unopened toothbrush and gave it to her and Leighton went into the bathroom to change. 

She came back out a few minutes later while you were laying a blanket and pillow on your futon couch and opening it up to it’s flat position. 

“Thank you,” Leighton began, “you’re really a godsend.”

You smiled, “you’re welcome, but it’s nothing really. I’m happy to help. The bed is all yours, I’ll sleep here tonight.”

“What? No, no! I’m the one crashing let me take the couch-”

“No, Leighton. Please, take the bed. I want you to.”

“That’s… really sweet.”

“Are you ready for bed now, or do you want to do something to wind down first? We could watch something, or whatever you want really.”

Leighton smiled softly, “I’d like that. I should also text my roommates so they know I’m not dead.”

“Good idea,” you sat down and opened up your laptop, loading Netflix, “ooh do you want popcorn?”

Leighton’s eyes lit up, “you have popcorn?!”

“Yeah, just the microwave kind. Is that okay?”

“That sounds incredible right now.”

Leighton texted her suitemates that she was okay while you popped popcorn in the dorm kitchen on your floor and then you found yourselves sitting beside each other on your bed with your laptop in your lap. You ate popcorn and watched the pilot of The Good Place and laughed until Leighton was fast asleep on your shoulder. 

You turned the show off and carefully slid out from beneath Leighton’s head while laying her down on the pillow. She stirred while you put the blankets over her and cracked an eye open.

“Hey, you fell asleep…”

“Mmmkay… g’night…” she mumbled. 

You giggled, “night, Leighton. See you in the morning.”

“Mmhmm…” Leighton closed her eyes again and was out like a light.

[sunnirainbow]

florence + the machine - breaking down

[emowithcuff3djeans]

Bedless // Pierce The Veil

[c3rb3ru2]

My fav girl

[insomniacirl]

RIPTIDE EPISODE 110 SPOILERS !!

"Have you enjoyed it?"

"I think I had a pretty rough start, but uh- yeah... yeah, even the worst parts- maybe more than I should've. Yeah I have."

"That's all that matters."

"Even if it's all inevitable, I'm glad we got written in the same story."

And what if that killed me. Dead. On the ground. Forever.

[monachopsis-muse]

After death's soliloquy

I tried to kill myself yesterday.

All I could see was the floor covered with blood, and the bloody fingerprints left by my every touches. My vision are blurry and every steps pained me. Yet, I keep tiptoeing at my own death, just so I'll leave no trace for 'them' to mock my despair. Because at that moment, I knew, I wont die - at least, not yet, not tonight. But I dont have anymore strength to force out my soul out so with my bloody hands, I gathered the red liquids gushed out from my sinful skin - mopped it clean.

How idiotic, to bath yourself in your own blood just so you can feel an ounce of warmth, that was never given to you. For an affection that wasn't even yours to begin with - you ought to suffer. It's insufferable for a child to hate their mother, yet still waited for her cold gaze to turn warm.

(@monachopsis-muse)

- I'm not even a child, I'm in my twenties, yet, yet, I still reach out my hands to her - hoping that for once, we could be saved; just for her to pull me to the deepest of despair that she created for both of us. How foolish am I...?

[fanfictiondramione]

I'm sorry, I'm crying It's just that the darkness comes down and disappears In frozen time

Disappearing without a trace But why can't I stop it? My last favor

(Make me forget.... no, remind me)

I'm breaking, falling apart Shining in the darkness Living in consciousness within my memory

It's our fate, fate But as fate, it coolly crushes me I'm getting denser in this darkness that has turned red

Empty life, my last wish

Breaking Down by Ailee (letter adapted by me)

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Is It Enough? (Tower: Day 99)

for Angstpril, Day 19: Breaking Down

cw: imprisonment, beating, strangulation, vague noncon implications

prev ///// masterlist ///// next

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"See to it he never does this again."

The command, spat at the guards, was the last thing Alexei heard before they threw him back into his cell, ears still ringing from the punch he'd taken. The door locked, and for a while it was quiet. In the cell, in the hall. Quiet everywhere but in his head.

The dread building inside him was so potent he was sure he'd be sick, and try as he might, he couldn't direct his thoughts away from it.

Cold blue of a clear sky—

(What are they going to do?)

Flaking rust, crumbled iron—

(What are they going to do to me?)

Clear, cheer, deer, fear, gear, hear—

(What are they going to do to me?)

He'd been stupid. He wasn't going to pretend otherwise. The city council had been invited on a tour of the prison, something about securing funding, or acquiring votes for a new bill. Wade had told Lex about it beforehand as he hosed him down, forced a comb through his hair, a toothbrush into his mouth.

"Even the mayor will be there. Be good, or else."

They'd unchained him from the wall and had him stand in the doorway, flanked by two guards. The warden had thought he was helpless. Half-starved and wearing power dampeners and missing his fucking arms. His mistake.

When one of the council members had reached out to touch him, like a child on a double dare, Lex had fought past the dampeners, focusing until he thought his very blood would boil, and set her expensive silk blazer on fire.

 And now he was about to find out exactly what 'or else' meant.

The cell door opened before long, guard after guard pouring into the small space. Lex knew what was coming; he curled into a ball and ignored them, waiting for the blows to start flying. And when they inevitably did, he tried to find a poem, or even a rhyme to cling to, make it all more bearable, but every boot in the gut only served to scatter his thoughts, and in the end, he was resolved to simply waiting for it to end.

The beating was the worst one he'd taken since coming here, leaving his body shuddering, blood oozing from his lips, breath coming in short wheezes—he'd felt several ribs crack during the assault.

The voices above him were fuzzy. He didn't care. He didn't need to know what the guards were going on about—

"But is it enough?"

That pulled his attention, shoving him into a cold-blooded clarity, words sharp enough to cut into his skull.

"What do you mean, 'is it enough'? Look at him."

"They get beaten all the fucking time. Lopez said—"

"What do you suggest? We're not supposed to do permanent damage."

"That's what the healer's for."

The conversation was quickly turning to argument, and the words were bleeding together. He could only catch scraps.

"...strung up." (Shut up)

"Nothing to tie on…" (Bygone)

"...in the break room." (Doom, plume)

An arm curled around his torso, pressure on newly-cracked ribs, and he bit back a whimper as more hands latched onto him and lifted his body. His instincts screamed at him to fight back, but it hurt to move. He could only hang there limply as they carried him out of the cell and down the hall. Going where? Why? (Cry, pie, lie, die.)

Movement stopped, a switch was flicked on, and Lex squinted as bright light flooded his vision. He could hear garbled words from a TV, music coming faintly from a radio, the slight squeak of boots on the floor.

Break room.

"Stand him up!" one of the guards called. Lex blinked away the spots in his vision, letting his eyes adjust to the fluorescent lights. As he did, he saw that the guard's number had dwindled down to three.

"I don't know if he can—"

"Well he'll remember to really fucking fast."

Hands held him up on either side, and something was looped around his throat, pulled tight against flesh and knotted. (Spotted, clotted, dotted, no no no—)

He was vaguely aware of the other end of the thing around his neck being tossed high, over a metal ceiling beam, and caught, yanked.

Lex's body jerked as it cinched on his throat, and he choked, trying to take in air, finding he couldn't unless he stood perfectly straight, and even then it was only barely. All his body wanted to do was curl in on itself, and his ribs throbbed as he tried to hold position, closing his eyes against the harsh lights. 

"Fucking hell man, this is gonna kill him."

"He passes out, you let him down. Hand me the whip."

"You sure we're allowed to touch it? Rentals—"

"Rentals won't give a shit as long as we return it clean."

A whistling sound pierced the air, followed by a sharp slap across his back. Lex arched forward reflexively, cutting off his own air with the movement.

"Dude. That was weak as shit, let me try."

Lex braced himself, but it wasn't enough. The whip cracked as it hit the air this time, striking him on the shoulders. Another was right on its heels, lighting a line of fire that ran parallel to his spine.

With every blow, it was getting harder to hold himself up, to keep breathing. It was only the fear that kept him awake, that animal terror that struck him when he couldn't reach the air.

A strike cut across several marks at once, and Lex cried out, his knees buckling.

"Maybe we should stop—"

"He's fine."

He managed to get to his feet, gasping, tears streaming down his cheeks. Wasn't it enough? How could this not be enough?

The next lash pulled a scream from him, cut off rapidly as he stumbled and the rope closed his throat. He didn't even have the energy to hold back a strangled sob. How could this not be fucking enough?

Another strike, and he lost his footing, the pressure on his windpipe crushing, legs shaking and useless and failing.

"For God's sake."

The rope suddenly went slack, and he crumpled, gasping, unable to choke down the whimpers that came crawling up his throat.

"Jeez, David. Buzzkill much?"

"I'm not losing my fucking job for your entertainment."

The linoleum floor was cool on his face, and Lex clung to the feeling, trying to focus on anything other than how much it all hurt.

"He literally tried to kill Senator Collins. He should count himself lucky right now."

"Lucky? He's practically dying at your feet."

"Yeah, we're supposed to ensure this never happens again. Gotta make sure he never forgets." Lex heard fabric shuffling above him, the faint click of metal on metal.

"Fucking hell, dude,"

"No one's making you stay and watch."

"He's already had the shit beat outta him."

Another sob escaped Lex. They were done now, right? Fuck, he'd hoped they were done, they had to be done—

"But is it enough?"

•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•

@whumpacabra @enteredin2eternity @kixngiggles @whumpsday @kiichu @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @shywhumpauthor @distinctlywhumpthing

[superhaught]

Breaking Down (Chapter 2)

Pairing: Leighton X Tatum

Warnings: eating disorder, description of vomiting, angst, smut (brief/not super explicit)

Word Count: 2000, Part 2/?

Part 1 / Part 3

Leighton's anxiety continues to have aftershocks. She feels insecure about herself and in her relationship with Tatum.

Leighton tossed her heels on the ground and crashed onto the couch in the common area of her suite when she got inside. She groaned and scrolled through her phone for a bit, wanting to decompress before going to bed. 

It didn’t seem like the other girls were home. Leighton felt weirdly lonely and she was still reeling from the earlier panic attack. She considered immediately texting the sweet person that she had just met but thought that would look really desperate so she didn’t. 

She scrolled for a bit longer and then went into her room with the intention of getting ready for bed. She looked at herself in her floor-length mirror and frowned upon seeing how bloated she looked. She turned to look at her side profile and she sucked in her stomach but still just felt disgusting. She thought about everything she ate at dinner with Tatum and their dad and that feeling of anxiety she had been fighting all night came rushing right back. 

Leighton went to the single stall bathroom on their floor and leaned over the toilet as she gagged herself and threw up everything that she ate. 

There came a point where her brain just turned off and she focused on feeling empty. Empty of thought. Empty of feeling. Empty of food. 

A few minutes later, she wiped her face with a paper towel and rinsed her mouth out with tap water and felt good as new. She went back to her room and was surprised to see Tatum standing outside of her suite door, waiting. 

“Tatum?”

The other blonde looked up from her phone and smiled at Leighton, “hey you, I didn’t want to go to bed without saying goodnight, and I didn’t want to leave things the way we did at dinner.”

Leighton nodded and feigned a smile, “come on in, then.”

Leighton and Tatum went into the younger girl’s dorm and sat down on the couch in the common area together. 

“Are you okay? You know, after telling your dad?”

Leighton genuinely thought for a moment about telling Tatum the truth about how she felt about the whole thing, but for some reason, she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She wanted Tatum to see her as perfect, She didn’t want Tatum to see the cracks that she kept hidden. 

“I’m really fine, Tatum, and I really don’t want to talk about it anymore. What’s done is done.”

Tatum wasn’t stupid, she could tell that Leighton was being less than forthcoming, but she didn’t really want to push it either, “alright, Leighton. If you say so.”

Leighton felt satisfied, “now, do you think, you could maybe help me with something?”

“What’s that?”

“Can you make it so that I don’t have to think anymore tonight?”

Tatum raised an eyebrow and gave her girlfriend a cheeky grin. 

The girls went into Leighton’s room and Tatum pressed Leighton up against the bedroom door and made out with her adoringly. Leighton blissfully let herself go and let the intimacy with the older blonde numb her mind. She grabbed Tatum’s ass and let her take her to the bed and give her the pleasure she so desperately needed. 

The couple got under the covers together and Tatum slid her hand down Leighton’s body and gave Leighton her fingers until Leighton came undone, no longer tormented by any of her anxieties for a short while. 

After that, Leighton quickly gave in to sleep, the exhaustion from the night forcing her body to quit. Tatum smiled and gave Leighton a soft kiss on the forehead before taking her leave, conveniently timed with Bela coming in for the night. 

Leighton slept in considerably the following morning, feeling completely drained from the panic attack and everything that followed. Her suitemates didn’t want to wake her unnecessarily, so they just let her sleep through the Saturday morning. Kimberly saved her some pancakes and coffee from the dining hall before heading out for her shift at Sips. Bela left for the day to go work on some writing, and Whitney hunkered down in the common area to study. 

At 1 PM, Leighton still hadn’t awoken. Whitney was starting to worry and was about to check in on Leighton when there was a polite knock on the door. She answered and was surprised to see Tatum and Leighton’s father, Henry, standing out in the hall. 

The blonde glanced around then turned to Whitney, “is Leighton alright? She hasn’t answered my texts this morning…”

“She’s still asleep. You’re welcome to go in and check on her, we just didn’t want to bother her. Is everything alright?”

“That’s what we’re here to find out,” Tatum answered. Henry Murray came inside and sat down on the couch while Tatum went over to Leighton’s room, knocking gently before opening the door and quietly going inside. Tatum set her bag down on the floor and crawled into the bed with her sleeping girlfriend, wrapping her arms around Leighton and pressing soft kisses on the side of her neck to wake her. 

Leighton stirred and cracked an eye open. Seeing Tatum, she smiled and closed her eyes again, “mmm hi baby…”

“Hi sleepyhead, it’s pretty late in the day… Are you okay?”

Leighton groaned, “why do you keep asking that?”

“Well, if I’m being honest, you worried me last night. And your dad, too.”

“What? My dad?”

“He’s out in the living room, we’d really like to talk to you if that’s okay.”

Leighton sat up straight, suddenly very alert, “what?” Leighton quickly got out of bed and side-stepped Tatum and went out into the living room. Whitney made eye contact with her roommate and left to give them all privacy to talk. 

“Dad, what are you doing here? I thought you were heading back home.”

Henry stood up and faced his daughter, “Hi honey, I just wanted to check in with you one more time before leaving. I ran into Tatum and we both expressed that we were feeling worried about you.”

“I don’t understand… Why are you worried about me? I'm literally fine.”

“Can you please sit down, sweetie?” Henry asked. 

Leighton looked to Tatum who echoed Leighton’s dad, “Please, Leight, we just want to talk.”

Leighton’s eyes filled with panic but she sat down in a chair across from her dad and Tatum sat down, too. 

Henry reached out and took Leighton’s hand in his, “honey, it’s just that, it’s only your second trimester at school and I feel like you’ve already been through so much. Too much for any one person to be able to handle alone.”

“I’m not alone! I have Tatum and my roommates-”

“You’re not confiding in me, and I don’t think you’re letting your roommates in, either.” Tatum says.

“I don’t want to see the same thing that happened with your friends from high school happen again, Leight. If you’re struggling, the people who love you want to help you.”

Leighton couldn’t believe what she was hearing from her dad. She dropped her head into her hands and started to shake. 

Henry continued, “Tatum, do you think you could give us a minute?”

Leighton felt Tatum lightly rub her shoulder and then leave the suite. 

“Leighton, I think I know what’s going on.”

“You have no idea, dad… you don’t…”

“Then tell me.”

Leighton took a deep breath and then finally spilled everything to her dad. She sobbed as she told him about all of her stresses and anxieties. She explained how hard it’s been to make friends outside of her roommates, how heartbroken she was (and is) over Alicia, how navigating being queer on campus has been a nightmare, how doing well in her classes has only intensified her crippling fear of failure, how she doesn’t have Nico’s guidance anymore, how scared she is of disappointing her family, and how desperate she is to look good and be thin.

Henry held her hand and listened to it all as Leighton bared her soul, revealing the panic attacks, the eating disorder, and the relationship drama.

They talked for a while, Leighton eventually ended up joining her father on the couch and curled up beside him like she would have when she was little. He validated her fears and reminded her how important it was that she take care of her health. 

Leighton got a text on her phone so she looked at it for the first time that morning. The most recent text was from Tatum and it read, I had to go but I will check in later, okay? There were a few other texts from Tatum throughout the morning, but there was also a message from Alicia that was sent late the previous night: thinking about you, can we meet up soon? Leighton sighed and set her phone face down. 

“How are things with Tatum? You seem like you really like her.”

“I do really like her. She’s really great, but I don’t know… sometimes I feel like we’re not the right fit for each other. Someone totally random helped me through my panic attack last night… and I felt more safe then to just exist as myself than I do with Tatum or did with Alicia… but I don’t know…”

“If you don’t feel like you can be yourself in a relationship, then that relationship isn’t a safe space for you. But, I can tell that Tatum does care for you. She was very concerned about you and could sense that you were hiding it from her.”

“I’m not trying to hurt her…”

“I know that, honey, and I think she does, too.”

Leighton and her dad sat quietly for a while and then Henry asked, “well, kiddo, what’s our next step? I think it would be best for me to broach the subject with your mother first, but maybe you should facetime your brother soon. And, you and I can talk about setting you up with a therapist to talk about the anxiety and the eating disorder. How does that sound?”

Leighton nodded, “yeah… that sounds good.”

Leighton’s dad gave her a kiss on her head and said, “no more trying to be someone else, just be the incredible woman that you already are.” 

Later that afternoon, Henry left for his flight back to New York and Leighton showered and caught up with Tatum around dinnertime. When Leighton found her in the dining hall, she immediately ran up and wrapped Tatum in a hug. Tatum smiled and rubbed Leighton’s back and then pulled back to give her a kiss. 

“You interventioned me and you didn’t even know the extent of what was going on…”

Tatum winced slightly, “I know, are you mad?”

Leighton shook her head, “No, I’m grateful. I really needed that with my dad, so thank you. And I’m sorry for not letting you in.”

“Look, Leighton, if there are things that you don’t want to share with me, I understand that. I just want to make sure you have someone, okay?”

Leighton nodded slowly, “I’m just worried that I might be a completely different person than the version of me that I’ve curated for you.”

Tatum furrowed her brows, “what do you mean? I think I know who you are pretty well, we’re like, cut from the same cloth.”

“Yeah… I guess.” Leighton considered Tatum’s words and knew that they worried her, but she really did like being with Tatum and she wanted to keep trying to make it work. “The Women’s Center is hosting a fundraising auction in a few days, will you come with me? I think you should meet some of my friends at the Women’s Center and see what it’s like there. It’s also a costume party!”

Tatum hesitated to answer at first but then said, “I will go with you, but you cannot make me wear a costume.”

Leighton grinned, “and you can’t keep me from trying!”

Next Chapter

[furiousgoldfish]

Hello!

What can person do, to not mentally breakdown, when they can't leave their abusive situation, can't get therapy, because parents wouldn't allow it and they don't have the money to pay for it?

I am trying my best to try to live my life despite the circumstances, but it is so rough as every day it is always at least one situation that I have to deal with, but it is just hard to not mentally breakdown.

I'm really sorry you're in this situation, this is awful. It sounds like a complete nightmare to be stuck in abuse, without access to therapy, and being sabotaged from even trying to get help. You do not deserve that, and nobody does.

I can only imagine how hard you're trying not to fall apart completely, but this is one of the situations that is made to break people down, and I wouldn't be able to stay normal either, anyone would break down, every now and then, from going through all of that stress and pain. It's not fair, you could be trying abnormally hard and still not be able to hold yourself together, because the situation is made to break people.

In these circumstances, I remember all I could do is to run away into fiction, imagine a better other world where I would be okay, or imagine running away and planning a life where I wouldn't have to deal with this. In some cases it's impossible to even imagine a future, because of the abuse, and I completely understand if you can't, I couldn't either (but I still got to that future.)

If you're able to share your pain with some friends or anyone who could offer some support to you, it means a lot in abuse to get even a little bit of attention, acknowledgment, support, understanding, comfort, and someone on your side. I know abusers often isolate us, but that's pretty much the only thing that can help someone endure and not break down during abuse, having support and knowing you're not alone, and people are on your side, rooting for you, believing in you, convinced that the abuse towards you is wrong and you do not deserve this. I might not be able to give this to you continually, but I am on your side, and I hope you do get out.

[howifeltabouthim]

Tears of shame stung her cheeks, and she felt crazy, unhinged, hysterical, unlovable, and worthless. She was sinking into mental debility, and the realization that she no longer had control over her thoughts, feelings, actions, and senses filled her with unspeakable dread. She was truly going mad.

Anna Biller, from Bluebeard's Castle

[shoe-def1sh]

Heartbreak high season 2 finale spoilers

ARE YOU KIDDING. AMERIE WONT GET MALAKAI'S LETTER?!

SCREAMING

CRYING

THROWING UP

[anotherrantinghoe]

aarzoo rakhte ki tumhari aankhon me kabhi aansu na aaye,

humne naa jaane kab khudki aankhon me daryaa bana dala

tumhari wafa ki talaash karte karte,

humne apna saara sukoon luta daala

tumhare jism se tumhari rooh paane chale the,

humne toh tum par apna imaan gawa dala...

[retro-memo]

So, you remember this picture of Tony and Peter in Endgame?

And we know thanks to the latest extra scene of No Way Home, all pictures of Peter are altered or changed. Which also would include this picture and now no one can see Peter with Tony anymore :)