#-who’s got eyes”

[moltengoldveins]

molten, having never seen the Hobbit films: ehh. I read the Hobbit a thousand times when I was a child (really not an exaggeration, thrice a week for at least three years and once a week or so for another like… four?) think I’d know if there was actually anything to the whole Bilbo and Thorin ship. I think this is the internet Internetting again. Molten, three films and an Absurd Quantity of Blatant Staring later: …. Alright. So. I still don’t think this is canon. However.… there is very little someone can do to explain That without… Like. That’s… a lot of Unnecessary Looking. At Each Other. Like. Please. There are children present (gestures vaguely at the Li brothers) could you not do that in public like that.

[captainjonnitkessler]

>Join a union

>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on

>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members

>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on

[soranker]

98 lovemail doodles >_<

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

why aren't there more mysteries that take place in nursing homes & retirement communities. i want to watch a group of deranged retirees-cum-amateur-detectives combine their powers of:

decades of life experience

boredom-fueled busybody shamelessness

access to the most gossipy next-door-neighbors in existence

"I am too old to be arrested and/or give a shit" attitude

and solve crimes. this should be an enormous subgenre.

[redsray]

Batfam AU where Jason never dies, so Tim doesn't join the family the standard way. Instead, he continues pouring most of his time and energy into his photography, eventually becoming known as a popular photographer for events and all that. So now, picture this: Tim gets hired to be a photographer for a Wayne gala. Obviously, he's ecstatic, because he can take pictures of Batman, Robin and Nightwing and be in their presence for a whole night. Since Tim is so naturally talented in stealth and taking pictures unnoticed, the second one of the fam realises this they're like: this kid is good. Tim manages to go unnoticed by all 3 of them (all bat-trained, one literally batman) multiple times during the night, and even when he is noticed, he disappears before they can manage to get a good look at him; to the sheer amazement of Dick and Jason.

Jason, (very discreetly putting snacks in his suit pocket): i know you're under the table, kid.

Tim: don't mind me, Mr. Todd-Wayne, sir, just taking a few pictures

Jason: right... Jason's fine, and what pictures were you taking from under the table?!

Tim, showing him perfectly good shots of him: these.

Jason: how did you get that. it looks like you took it from the rafters

Tim, nodding: I did.

Jason, glancing at the ceiling: ...what?

Tim, gone:

Jason: no fucking way.

Dick, hearing a very, very faint camera shutter from behind him:

Dick, turning around and finding no one there: what the actual...

Dick, getting the feeling of being watched and whirling around to find Tim staring at him from across the room: ... huh.

Jason, pulling Dick aside: you see that kid too, right?!

Dick, nodding: the camera kid, yeah?

Jason: who is that.

Dick: he's one of the hired photographers, apparently. one of the best in his field, despite his age.

Jason: he's good. like, really good. snuck up on me 4 times already, the little bastard.

Dick: you too? i swear he's constantly watching. it's creepy how well he can sneak past both of us.

Jason:

Dick:

Jason: you don't think...

Dick: no. B would've told us.

Jason:

Dick:

Dick: did he get another kid and not tell us somehow

Bruce: what do you mean another kid?

Jason: you heard us. did you adopt another kid and not tell us?!

Bruce: no?? how would I even?? ... what's this about?

Dick: one of the photographers has managed to sneak up on both me and Jay multiple times already

Bruce: what.

Jason: he also can't be more than like. 15 or 16. so forgive us for assuming you took another one in.

Bruce: do you know his name?

Dick:

Jason:

Bruce: really?

Dick: in our defence, he's very hard to catch. i wouldn't be surprised if he's snuck up on you, too.

[camera shutter noise]

All of them, whipping their heads toward the sound only to find nothing but air:

Tim, smiling from the other side of the room:

Jason: do you see what we mean?!

Cue an entire night of shenanigans where it's just Dick, Jason and Bruce trying to catch Tim and learn about him. Upon finding out who he is and where he lives, Dick immediately asks to keep him as an honorary member of the family. Jason is hesitant at first but at some point Tim calls Bruce Batman instead of Mr. Wayne on accident and Jason laughs so hard he's basically won over. Bruce can do nothing but watch as Tim proceeds to come over almost every night for sleepovers and is coddled by both of his sons. And he can't deny, the kid's investigation and stealth skills are top tier. By the time Dick and Jason both start referring to Tim as 'their younger brother' Bruce has just accepted his fate.

[cor-lapis]

"If we must fight, Sethos... I shall defeat you with the power of my friend group of employed adults who miraculously have regularly scheduled meet-ups, and also my daughter!"

[redesigns]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I know those eyes.

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[gatoburr0]

Hehe hiii samurai shiver Hii um!!

Also yes I designed the tattoos from scratch and I still gotta do the one on her back 😪

[cosmicgamer]

The way Luz's thank you drawing got rejected by the person it was for when she thought she finally found someone who wouldn't make fun of her for her eccentric behavior, that she is worthless..and then the drawing does get recognized, that it's beautiful and why would it get thrown away. She was finally understood (I am in shambles help-)

[thetruecthulhu9]

Hey anyone want to be crushed by the reality that in stopping the unknowing Jon became unknown to everything around him. He stops being Jon and becomes The Archivist and the only person who acknowledges that there's anything left of the person he was is Martin.

Nikola failed a doomed ritual but it still made the Archivist a Stranger

[mbohjeezart]

Hermit a Day May: Day 18, Joe Hills, The Puppet, the Puppeteer!

@joehills And here's his full portrait without the text and background:

[heartorbit]

find another role, carry on the show

[demigods-posts]

we already have the percy whose scalp is always somewhat damp because he wants to feel the moisture on his skin. the percy who takes bubble baths twice a week soley so he can nap underwater when he's away from the beach. the percy who once drank four gallons of water in two hours and felt like he was king of the world for a week straight. but give me the percy who gets overstimulated from being in the water too much. the percy who spent his three-day weekend putting a stop to a war between the fish of the pacific and atlantic ocean. the percy who returned home with his hair dry as a bone. the percy who locked himself in his room and refused to touch water unless he was nearly dying of thirst. the percy who damn-near asked his father to disown him for a few days because being directly linked to water made him want to cry.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Congrats you got another haiku bot post

HAIKU BOT MOMENT!!!

(Original post)

[hinamie]

idk about yall but life is good again

[syoddeye]

thinking about going out to trivia with your friends and immediately beefing with the table of nitwits across the bar.

drunk men who look too pleased with themselves after you and your friends vocalize your disgust with their team name—the secret cervix.

god, and that fucking bastard in the baseball cap thinks he's so smart just because he named more countries that start with 'm' than you. (he named 20, you named 19. you insist he got lucky with monaco.)

he's the worst of the four and proves it through the night. you go toe-to-toe over football. redacted album covers. celebrities and their astrological signs. your teams end up tying and end up at the mic with the host for the tie-breaker question.

he introduces himself—kyle—and asks if you want to make it interesting. you're not one to back down.

"name your terms."

"if i win, i get three minutes alone with you."

"three minutes? that all the time you normally need?"

"oh babe, we can knock it down to a minute. 'cause that's all i'll need to convince you to come back to mine."

you consider it. he is good-looking. he's smug and tipsy, but handsome. "if you make it that far, we'll go to mine."

"and if you win?"

"buy our drinks for the rest of the night."

"no afters?"

you shrug and extend a hand. he shakes on it with a smile that suggests he's puzzling you out.

the host clears their throat and pitches the tie-breaker question.

"what is the origin of the word 'sniper'?"

your eyes widen at kyle's expression. a big grin slowly lights up his face. that's when his friend with the mohawk nonchalantly raises his arm, flashing a SAS tattoo. 

fuck.