#AN ENEMY OF STEDE IS AN ENEMY OF ME AS WELL

[lovebunnie]

if anyone talks shit about my best friend stede bonnet being an ass there will be hell to pay. it was the first time in his entire life he wasnt mocked. he thought he had it all. hes a middle aged man who for the first time in his life feels like he was doing something right. yea he was gonna be a bitch because at the end of the day he is a bitch. but hes growing

[sixstepsaway]

so here's the thing

i've seen a bunch of people say on twitter and stuff how... ed's behavior is very abusive and his anger is dangerous and he isn't romantic lead material because of it

and i get where they're coming from

but to me the main issue isn't putting ed in the position of a romantic lead, but not crafting the narrative around his characterization so that it allows for a spicy romantic pirates-in-love narrative instead of...whatever this is.

i'm going to try and explain this. idk if i'll do well but i'll try

the way she show presents stede is as an innocent baby who isn't really equipped for pirate life. he goes into a fugue/disassociative state whenever there's any real violence, apparently, and needs protecting by other characters when things get too rough - for example when ed is telling ned lowe not to take the poker to stede.

that's fine! it's honestly adorable to see a masc character being so soft around the edges and being protected by other characters this way.

(i'm not going to touch on stede's... eh... not great characterization this season rn)

then there's izzy, who is shown as a bit violent, a bit rough around the edges. he's more likely to draw a sword or throw a punch or hit someone with a chair or take a punch like a champ. violence is just part of life for him and that's okay, it just Is, from small things like smacking stede on the ass to bigger things like being wall slammed, it's not all that big or bad for violence to happen around and with him, he tends to give as good as he gets (there's some nuance here but i'm talking the macro themes not the micro of what izzy does vs is done to him)

and finally there's ed

ed is presented as violent (stabbing knives at guys, telling fang to use the snail fork etc) and used to a life of violence, and then in season 2 he's presented as really violent, his anger coming out in dangerous and terrifying ways

and frankly, i'd be super into it if he and izzy were the main ship and that twisted dynamic from the first two episodes of s2 was explored and fleshed out into something deeper

friends to enemies to lovers who fight and fuck. angry pirates who lay hands on each other, who break the whole ship with each other in the heat of passion.

except instead, s2 gives us... abuse. it gives us izzy cringing and lowering his head and trying to protect the kids crew from ed's angry outbursts.

so when stede comes back and he's still soft around the edges and ed headbutts him and it's deliberate, it's... not a great look, and the vibes are a bit skewed

if stede fought back, if when ed struck out at him he struck back, if they fought rather than it being one-sided, if it was friends to enemies to lovers and not presented as healthy, but maybe they can work their way there, who knows, maybe even more like anne bonnie and mary read because hey, they were doing something very similar?

except they were both into it. they were both enjoying the fighting and the fucking and the burning down the house.

stede's not enjoying it.

i cannot describe how much i hate this sequence just because of the way stede flinches

anne and mary don't!! mary jumps at the unexpected bang but she doesnt flinch, she doesn't cover her face like she thinks the vase will be coming for her not the wall and anne? looks so into it

and the thing is that in real life, no, you don't want to date someone who throws shit around, or headbutts you

but in fiction when it's two fucked up people doing this shit together like anne and mary?

that can be fun.

but instead what we've been given is stede flinching and apologizing to ed and then all of ed's...what, semi-redemption???? is done away from the other collection of people he abused, and then he spends some time on a fishing boat wearing a dog collar and everything is fine because he's good now and won't be doing anything bad ever again

and it's just... poor writing. the vibes are rancid.

i spent a really big chunk of time between s1 and s2 defending ed. i kept saying how what he did to izzy by making him eat his toe wasn't abuse, it was a one-off and abuse isn't a one-off thing it's a pattern, and then s2 made it a pattern.

explicitly. explicitly a pattern.

not just one toe but three.

jim saying "you're in an unhealthy relationship with blackbeard"

and all ed offered izzy was a "sorry about your leg" which might've been fine if izzy survived and they could work on this more, but instead that's all the apology and closure izzy will ever get

ed threw a chair and a vase and made stede flinch in fear and stede was right to do that. what part of any of this implies this will never happen again? that stede won't press the wrong button at some point and be on the receiving end? none of it

and if we'd been presented with a s2 stede bonnet who could handle himself and stand up for himself and fight back, then maybe i could imagine that turning into a weird sexy fucked up anne/mary like thing and maybe that could be why they put that episode in, but instead it feels like that episode was going, "look, see, ed's violence is fine because these two are fine with it with each other"

but stede isn't

ed and izzy or ed and stede in an unhealthy battle of a relationship could be such a fun, interesting and downright sexy thing to watch unfold on tv, and could honestly end somewhere far more down the chill end of the spectrum, but that's not what we've been given here

i cannot argue that ed isn't an abuser anymore, and not just of izzy but of the whole crew. he terrified frenchie.

it's not good writing to try and lean into the idea that ed and the pirates are violent and live a life of violence, so it's okay that ed's been violent, while simultaneously presenting his violence as traumatic and abusive, and then less than three episodes later saying oh it's fine now, he's just a little meow meow who can do no wrong, see?

especially considering they had him murdering people at the end of the season. and sure, you can say the english are just cannon fodder and they dont 'count', but they did before. ed explicitly did not kill before, and that included the english, or the spanish, or anyone else. so either they count or they don't, but flipping him on a dime makes no sense.

ALSO

having ed be the son of an abusive man who threw plates at his mother and made her cringe and then having ed kill his father to protect his mother and then a season later having ed become the kind of man who throws chairs and vases and makes his love interest cringe is, again, not bloody optimal

i want to say again i dont CARE about tv always presenting healthy relationships or tv always giving us aspirational goals. i want messy fucked up dynamics and terrible people making terrible choices, and still, to this day, i fucking love ed teach. i would honestly love to have seen them continue with ed's darkness and bring stede into it and see where they went with that, to have stede kill ned lowe and not just bury his feelings in ed but get off on it, enjoy the violence, and see where that led, but no

and so instead all we end up with is a protagonist who is being set up for a lifetime of abuse from an intimate partner, and a romantic lead who abuses his love interests (and yes. izzy is a love interest, he is set up like one and positioned like one and treated like one), frightens his love interests with his violence, is erratic and most of all inconsistently written. he was so sorry about scaring fang as though he hadn't been deliberately terrifying the whole crew for fuck knows how long? what?!

the whole fandom has spent so long saying, "no no, i know stede bonnet irl was a slave owner, but ofmd is using the names and not any real piracy, it's more disney piracy, you know? so that kind of stuff doesnt exist!" and then they flipped around and went "blackbeard is blackbeard and so he is evil and does all these horrible things" and i dont know how to rationalize the two sides of that because it feels so out of place

i'm getting rambly, this isnt a particularly well constructed thought process, i just feel like we were robbed both of a toxic, violent relationship that could be fun to see explored on tv and a soft and sweet love story between two middle aged men exploring their first loves in one fell swoop and there's no way for s3 to bring either of those things back because they got utterly torpedoed by making ed a horrible person

ugh

[skepwith]

More Parts of the Revenge for OFMD Fans

Part of a series: Revenge Master Post.

This post is about stuff in the body of the ship, going more or less from top to bottom. I’m saving the sails and rigging for my next post. If you want to know more basic terms like fore and aft and bow and stern, look for “Parts of the Revenge” in my master post.

Obviously, using these terms is entirely optional, since David Jenkins et al. are free and easy with the ol' historical accuracy. This list is for pedants like me and people who like historical and specialized language. Enjoy!

Main Deck

The low “walls” on the sides of the open decks were called the bulwarks—they were to keep people from falling overboard. On the Revenge, the bulwarks are topped by a rail (railing).

A gap in the bulwark, together with a set of rungs on the hull, was called an entry port. It allowed people to climb aboard from a dinghy.

The top edge of the bulwark was the gunwale, pronounced gunnel. The expression “loaded to the gunwales” is still used to mean very full. The top edges of a dinghy are also called gunwales.

An opening in the deck is called a hatchway. I wrote about hatches a while ago, but what I didn’t realize was that the hatch is the part that covers the hatchway. The wooden grid that lets light and air through is called the grating.

In the bow, the curving rail that goes from the figurehead to the hull is called the head rail, which would’ve been really helpful to know for my toilet post. Oh well.

Stede’s journal could at a stretch be called a logbook (or log). This was a book in which an officer noted details of the ship’s daily progress and journey. Probably a bit less fanciful than Stede’s version.

Weaponry

The Revenge has guns (the word used for cannons) on her main deck and her gun deck. Before a gun was fired, the barrel was cleared with the sponge, then loaded with gunpowder and shot and wads of cloth, all of which was tamped down with the rammer. There were different types of shot, or ammunition; cannonballs were called round shot.

To fire a gun, a lit fuse (usually a slow match) was brought in contact with the vent at the top of the gun—called the touchhole—to ignite the gunpowder. (The wick added in OFMD isn’t accurate. Shocking, I know.) The slow match was usually held with a staff called a linstock, tucked into a notch on the end. You didn’t want to be right next to the cannon when it went off, because there was a non-zero chance it would misfire and explode in your face.

Despite what you see in movies, cannons didn’t produce a lot of fire and smoke; the cannonball did damage by going unstoppably through hulls, masts, and people—often many at a time—like a deadly Energizer bunny.

The gunpowder was kept in kegs in a small room called the powder magazine. (A magazine is an ammunition storage area.) This room was in the hull of the ship, below the water line, to minimize the chances of a stray spark sending the whole ship up in flames. The shot was kept in the shot-locker, a small room in the hold (though this word wasn’t recorded till 1805). As we know, Stede calls this the ball room.

Besides the regular cannons, the Revenge also has swivel guns, small cannons mounted on swivels. These were too small to damage another ship; they were there to fire at boarders and approaching boats. Or, you know, to set off fireworks.

To take an enemy ship, sailors might use a grapnel (or grappling hook). These were attached to a rope and thrown at enemy bulwarks or rigging so the ships could be pulled together for boarding.

The Gun Deck

Everything on a ship had to have a special name: stairs were always called ladders; the floor was called the deck; and a wall or partition inside the hull was called a bulkhead.

Some of you may know that a ship’s kitchen is called a galley. However, this usage wasn’t recorded until 1750; the earlier word was cook-room.

Likewise, the mess is where you eat on a ship, but this sense wasn’t recorded until the late 1800s. In OFMD’s time, mess meant “a group of people who eat together,” like officers of the same rank or sailors on the same watch.

You might know a berth as a shelf or box to sleep on, like Stede’s (and Ed’s) bed, but this usage wasn’t recorded until the 1790s. The earlier meaning, used from at least 1706, is “a room where a particular group (such as officers or midshipmen) eats and sleeps.” So you might call Jim’s room a berth—except that it changes hands, and its name has been firmly established as the Room.

A berth is also a place in a port or harbour where you can moor (park) a vessel, and thirdly, the safety margin around another vessel or object, which gives us the phrase “to give [it] a wide berth.”

Finally, the area where the animals (remember them?) were kept was a small triangular area in the bow called the manger. This seems to be where the Revenge’s en suite is, at least as far as I can figure, but if you want to include the animals for whatever reason, they’d probably live somewhere around there.

Storage

Some of the stuff on board was stored in casks, a.k.a. barrels. These could be any size, but a large cask was also called a butt. A scuttlebutt was a butt full of water attached to the deck for sailors to drink from. Unfortunately, the word wasn’t recorded before 1800, and the “gossip” meaning not till a century after that. But it’s a great word and you should use it anyway.

A keg was a small cask, usually less than ten gallons, used for things like gunpowder or rum.

A sea chest was a wooden box used to store an officer’s personal effects—or to confine a nosy hombrecito.

The Ship’s Bottom

(As it were.)

In several of my posts and diagrams I said the lower decks of the Revenge were the gun deck, the orlop, and the hold. But my friends, I made a grievous error: the Revenge has no orlop. I know!

In season 2, for the first time we get to see what’s below the gun deck. When Frenchie opens the secret passage in the kitchen, he reveals a set of stairs—sorry, a ladder—down to a grim, damp space. The kitchen is on the gun deck, so this is the deck immediately below it, and while on most ships that would’ve been the orlop, in this case it’s the hold.

The hold was the lowest compartment of the ship, used for storage and cargo. It also sometimes held the ballast—heavy stuff (e.g., pig iron, gravel, stones, lead) put there to improve the ship’s balance. The lowest part of the hold itself was called the bilge or bilges—the area where bilgewater collected and had to be pumped out.

Episode 3 shows the water on the floor—sorry, deck—making it pretty clear we’re in the bilges of the hold. On top of that, an Instagram post by crewmember Will Giles (shared on Tumblr by @ourflagmeansbts) mentioned repurposing the “bilge set.”

Which all proves that the Revenge’s hold is immediately below the gun deck, with no orlop in between.

The keel is the structural piece that runs lengthwise along the middle of the hull’s bottom. Keel-hauling was to drag someone along the outside of the keel, underwater, as a punishment—very nasty, often fatal.

Also underwater, at the stern, is the rudder, whose movement makes the ship turn. On a dinghy you steer by moving the tiller, a horizontal bar attached to the rudder post. On a ship like the Revenge, you turn the ship’s wheel, which is attached to the tiller via cables, and that moves the rudder.

That’s all for now! Coming next: sails and rigging, in port, and more sailing lingo.

Sources: Wikipedia, historicnavalfiction [dot] com, Oxford English Dictionary

[fairfowl]

As promised! Izzy-centric fic recs!

These are all gonna be pre S2 (and all Steddyhands because I was obsessed for like a year)

@crabgrave

Starting off strong with

1) Battle of the Boyfriends

This fic makes you laugh before it makes you cry. A steddyhands centric dramady mostly from Izzy's point of view, and I love this Izzy very much.

Isn't he precious? They absolutely hurt his feelings

2) Doldrums

This one is a two part series that starts with Izzy leaving the Revenge as Stede and Ed reunite post S1. He recruits Calico Jack and becomes captain of his own ship while he and Jack have a lot of sex (I actually enjoy Jack in this one lol) Ed and Izzy eventually partially work things out

The second part involves Izzy back on the ship in the beginning stages of steddyhands

I think the real strength of this series is Izzy's interactions with everyone, but especially Stede and Oluwande

3) The Nook is for Talking Shit

This is a Calico Jack hate!fic and I'm here for it. Also steddyhands because I've got a problem

In this fic Stede and Izzy bond offer a mutual enemy, and Izzy teaches Stede how to craft the perfect insult

I like that they laugh together, and I really like it when Stede stands up for Izzy ♡ (I also like that Izzy has a very good reason to hate Jack that involves him having been injured very badly)

4) Navigating By the Light of Your Stars

A delicious sandwich of a trilogy where the bread is BlackHands and Stizzy relationship studies, and the meat is steddyhands smut.

Featuring: GrayAce!Izzy, whump, Stede’s introduction to BDSM, and discussions of mortality ♡

5) A Pirate Triptych

Another steddyhands trilogy!

This is one I've seen on many recommendation lists and it is worth it. These men and their guilt I swear ♡

Post S1 Izzy schemes to get Stede back into Ed's good graces at his own expense.

If you like Izzy whump this is the fic for you

6) More Vivid than Sunsets, Brighter than Stars

On a shorter and sweeter note this little steddyhands bdsm fic explores Izzy running his mouth and Stede and Ed going a little too far in order to punish him. Everyone gets their feelings hurt ♡

Everyone is characterized well here but Ed is kind of the star of the show, he has to mediate this incident and he's hilarious

7) House of Mirrors

This one is pure Izzy whump with steddyhands caretaking. Izzy is sick, Ed spirals, Stede is Exhausted (tm)

I reread this one often

anyway I think this is what I have for now, I might post another list at some point because there are a couple of longfics that are very near and dear to my heart, plus S2 is not gonna stop me from reading new fic. I look forward to seeing more amputee!Izzy

[collinrobinsonsglasses]

Too Soft to Be a Pirate

Izzy Hands x Reader (GN)

Chapter 2: A Damned Man

Summary: Following the events of Season 1 Episode 2 of Our Flag Means Death. You've been on Blackbeard's crew for a year. You and Edward are secretly great friends. Izzy gets bested by Stede Fucking Bonnet and you try to cheer him up.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter}

{Next Chapter}

With his spyglass in hand, Izzy fixed his gaze upon the ship Ivan had spotted, now stranded on the shore. “Fucking idiots” he muttered to himself lowering the telescope from his eye. Standing on the quarterdeck, he surveyed the crew, and his eyes locked onto you. You were helping Ivan prepare the dinghy for the trip ashore.

Izzy was surprised you had lasted a year on Queen Anne’s Revenge. You proved to be a hardworking deckhand, effortlessly completing your tasks around the ship. However, what set you apart from the rest of the little shits on the crew was your respectfulness. Unlike the pirates Izzy was accustomed to leading, you never talked back, obediently followed orders and treated him with kindness. That was the problem. You were too fucking soft to be a pirate and you made the rest of the crew weak. 

Izzy had observed that during raids, Ivan always positioned himself closer to you, acting as a protective shield against the stray swipe of an enemy's sword should they get too close. You returned the favor by assisting him in collecting gold teeth from the fallen enemies. On shore leave, if the crew went out together and you drank too much, Fang would carry you on his back to the ship. You were constantly doing favors for the rest of the crew, and even Izzy himself. The crew loved you, and were protective of you. There was no room for love on a pirate ship. Even though Izzy consistently recommended dropping you off at the nearest port, Blackbeard insisted on keeping you on the crew.

Blackbeard joined Izzy on the quarterdeck, his eyes following the same direction as Izzy's — towards you. "How's our little mouse doing, Iz?" Blackbeard asked with a smug grin.

Izzy’s demeanor hardened, feeling embarrassed that he had been caught staring at you. He grimaced at the nickname he had inadvertently given you the first day he discovered you aboard the Queen Anne. Ed now used the nickname fondly whenever asking about your progress. Surprisingly, it turned out to be an appropriate nickname for you. You were quiet and quick, very challenging to catch in a swordfight. Most of the time, you were relatively gentle unless the situation demanded you to be aggressive. 

"They're doing fine, Edward," Izzy grumbled to his Captain, rolling his eyes. "I don't know why you insist on keeping them on this crew. They aren't a pirate."

"They look like a pirate to me," Edward insisted, gazing down at you, dressed in all black. "They’ve made it this long, which I think is pretty impressive."

"They’ve made it this long because you ordered me to keep them alive, Captain," Izzy shot back, glaring at Blackbeard.

"You're right, and that's a standing order, Iz," Blackbeard whispered with a smirk, inches away from Izzy. He condescendingly patted Izzy's face before giving the order, "Go get us some hostages," and then headed back to his cabin.

You watched the dinghy as Izzy, Ivan, and Fang drifted farther away from your ship toward the shore. Then you began making your way to the Captain’s quarters — a routine you were accustomed to when Izzy wasn’t on the ship or when he was attending to other matters. 

In the initial few months of your time on the Queen Anne’s Revenge, your conversations with Blackbeard were infrequent, typically happening on deck during the quiet nights when you were on watch and no one else was around. You felt at ease around him, and it was evident that he was comfortable in your presence as well. As your interactions became more frequent, he invited you to drop by his cabin whenever you had the time to talk. You kept your interactions with Ed between the two of you, recognizing that this level of kindness wasn't extended to the rest of the crew. 

You knocked before letting yourself in. "Hey, Cap," you said sweetly, then settled cross-legged on your usual chair across from Blackbeard’s desk. He lounged with his legs up on his desk, occupied with the task of sharpening his knife. 

"Whose ship is that stuck on shore?" you asked curiously. "They have like four different pirate flags, and I don’t recognize a single one. I actually like their cat flag. We should consider stealing it.”, you said with a grin. 

"You would like that flag, wouldn't you?" Edward chuckled, rolling his eyes. "I actually don't know who they are. They have English hostages though, which wouldn't be a bad profit for us."

You observed as Ed’s eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought. You watched him fondly, and tried to guess the thought that was on his mind. “They have English hostages, but they also ran their ship aground?”, you asked, raising your eyebrows.  

"Pretty fucking intriguing, don't you think?" he exclaimed, excitement gleaming in his eyes. He stuck his knife sharply into his desk, leaving it standing upright, before continuing. "What kind of pirate has four different flags flying on their ship? That’s insane. It makes no sense."

You offered a nonchalant shrug, finding amusement in your Captain’s curiosity in this other ship. Over the past year, it was very rare to see Blackbeard captivated by anything. It was clear to you that the pirate lifestyle was growing stale for him. “Pretty fucking intriguing” you echoed with a smile. “I reckon that’s worth a closer look”. 

“See”, Blackbeard remarked with a grin, playfully wagging his finger at you, “This is why I like having you here. You don’t have all these irritating opinions about what a pirate should be. Pirates have no fucking imagination” he finished harshly. He got lost in thought again before mumbling “Izzy should take a page from your book.” 

“He’s just doing what he thinks is right”, you countered gently, “He’s only looking out for you and the rest of the crew... Mostly you.”

A mischievous glint appeared in your Captain's eye, a look typically reserved for moments when you stood up for Izzy. "How's it going with you and our first mate?" he mocked playfully, leaning forward in his chair. This was Edward’s favorite topic of conversation. 

After spending about six months on the Queen Anne's Revenge, against your better judgment, you found yourself harboring an undeniable crush on Izzy Hands. You were terrible at hiding your feelings, a trait that Blackbeard, Ivan, and Fang took great pleasure in teasing you about. Thankfully, Izzy seemed oblivious, likely preoccupied with the challenging task of navigating Ed’s ever-changing moods. 

After Edward discovered your feelings for his first mate, he seemed to find every excuse to force you and Izzy to spend time together. He ordered Izzy to teach you sword fighting and wouldn't accept no for an answer. While you appreciated the lessons, given that Izzy was an exceptional fighter, you couldn't shake the feeling that Ed was relishing in the chaos. You imagined these frequent lessons were only serving to increase Izzy's annoyance with your presence on the ship.

You playfully glared at Blackbeard, the lack of real anger evident in your eyes. "You're well aware of how it’s going," you muttered, "He hates me. And even if he didn't, he only has eyes for one person on this ship”. 

He rolled his eyes at your statement before playfully continuing with his teasing, “You've got weird taste in men. To be fair though, I shouldn't be surprised. The last guy you liked threw you off a ship.”

You shot him the middle finger, accompanied by a sarcastic smile. Deciding to leave before the teasing could intensify, you stood up to go. “I’m going to sneak back later to hear more about this mysterious ship stuck on the beach.” you declared. You left his cabin quickly, but popped your head back in. "I think we really should consider flying a flag with a cat on it," you suggested.

"Fuck off," he responded with a playful shake of his head.

When your three crew mates returned later that afternoon with an English hostage in their custody, you noticed Ivan with a hand over his nose, blood staining his fingers. Fang escorted the English officer into the brig, while Izzy headed straight to the Captain’s quarters. 

You rushed toward Ivan, concern painted across your face. "What happened?" you exclaimed.

"Some bastard hurled a massive rock at my nose," Ivan growled with anger.

You guided him below deck to help assess the damage. Ivan leaned his head on your lap, recounting the events of his afternoon as you cleaned the blood from his face with a rag and warm water. You listened attentively, as you always did when Ivan talked with you about his day. "Think it's broken?" Ivan asked after recounting his story.

“I don’t think so,” you replied, examining Ivan's face, “but I am not an expert in medicine or noses.” 

"That's fair," Ivan mumbled, appreciating your honesty. "I'll survive. It's not the first time I've taken a hit, and it won't be the last."

You and Ivan returned to the deck to join Fang. The three of you watched the distant ship slowly move off the beach.

“Well there go those fancy boys”, Fang huffed. 

“Shame we couldn’t murder ‘em”, Ivan grumbled, “Even a little bit of murder would’ve been nice.” 

You squeezed Ivan’s arm gently and offered him an apologetic smile.

Izzy walked up to join the three of you, eyeing the distant vessel. “Captain says follow that ship”, Izzy stated with a hint of exasperation.

“Oh, really, why?” Fang whined. 

“How should I know, the man’s half insane. Just do it”, Izzy snapped, yanking Fang’s beard closer to his face. “No one asked you to fuckin’ think”. 

“I hate it when he does that. It really hurts”, Fang complained, quickly moving away from Izzy. 

“You should say something about it”, Ivan whispered as the three of you headed to the opposite side of the ship, away from the seething first mate.

“Ah, What’s the point? I can’t believe that Blackbeard wants to meet that ponce”, Fang muttered angrily. 

“What a knob”, Ivan replied. 

You subtly smiled to yourself, fully aware of why Edward wanted to meet the man who had gotten the upper hand on his first mate. You playfully reached up to scratch Fang's beard gently, mimicking Izzy’s previous action but with a loving touch. “I’m sorry you all had a shit day”, you expressed sympathetically. 

You watched Izzy silently fume, glaring into the ocean, and cast a concerned glance his way. "What if I asked him to practice sword fighting tonight?" you suggested quietly, directing your question to Ivan and Fang.

“He might just decide to skewer you,” Ivan remarked with certainty.

"Oh very nice," you replied sarcastically, rolling your eyes. "Maybe a sword fight is just what he needs to blow off some steam. He’ll knock me on my ass like he always does and it’ll take his mind off of today". 

"It's your funeral," Fang added with a sly grin.

"Well, if Izzy turns me into a human pin cushion, I demand a burial at sea,” you joked, sealing the comment with a kiss on Fang's cheek. Then, you walked toward Izzy apprehensively. 

"Izzy, sir?" you asked in a calm tone, positioning yourself next to him against the ship's railing. His expression stiffened as he turned to face you upon hearing your voice. 

"Did those twats send you to mock me for losing to that fancy fucker at swordplay?" Izzy spat with venom in his voice. "I won't tolerate insults from a second-rate pirate like yourself, especially one who's shit with a sword."

“No,” you replied quietly. It was clear why Izzy would be defensive; you had witnessed the satisfaction Edward and the rest of the crew took in teasing him. “Considering what Ivan told me, It sounded more like an ambush, very unprofessional of them. If it was a real fight, I know you would have won”, you offered with a genuine but shy smile in response. 

For a brief moment, before catching himself, it appeared as if Izzy might return the smile. Izzy examined you curiously, attempting to figure out the game you were playing. "What do you want, then?" he asked, his tone softer than before. 

"Well, speaking of me being a second-rate pirate who's shit at swordplay… I was wondering if you'd be up for another lesson," you asked, your tone a mix of nervousness and humor.

“Fine”, Izzy responded curtly. 

As Izzy and you sparred with your swords, the scene was charged with intensity and focus. Izzy, confident and skilled, moved with precision and control. His eyes gleamed with sharpness, and every motion carried the fluidity of someone well-versed in the art of combat. In contrast, you were determined but less polished. You met Izzy’s moves with a mix of nervousness and eagerness. The rhythmic clashing of swords echoed through the air, the sound of steel on steel resonating across the ship’s deck. 

As you headed below deck to meet Ivan and Fang after the lesson, Izzy's voice called out to you, "You're improving." You felt your heart skip a beat. Turning around, you offered him a grateful smile before rushing off to join your mates.

Izzy watched you departing, a smile unintentionally forming on his face before he quickly composed himself. “Fuck,” he muttered, his thoughts circling back to what had been on his mind earlier that morning. While Izzy would never admit it, he had begun growing quite fond of your company. You seemed to possess the ability to see through people’s facades and give them what they needed in the moment. He had long understood why Ivan and Fang were so protective of you and why they treated you differently from everyone else on the crew. You could break down people’s defenses and make them feel safe. That’s why he knew he needed you off this ship as soon as possible – you were a liability.

{Next Chapter}

[saltpepperbeard]

losing my mind losing my whole ass mind-

leaked tv spot 2: electric boogaloo. i have thoughts of course. yes i know the proper trailer is coming out in like 16 hours. no i absolutely CANNOT HELP MYSELF AFTER THIS (x)-

"I think I hurt him pretty bad." FUCK. FUCK. HE IS INDEED GOING TO PUT THE PIECES OF THE PUZZLE TOGETHER, HUH. LIKE HE'S NOT JUST GOING TO BE BLINDLY OPTIMISTIC. HE'S ACTUALLY GOING TO REALIZE THAT ED WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM TO THE POINT OF LEGITIMATELY BEING AGONIZED BY HIS ABSENCE HUH.

HIIIIIII BABY HELLO ED BABY HELLO MY DARLING HI HELLO <333

seeing him with his hair back and with the pearls and like,,, idk, hearing HIS VOICE??? HEARING HIM TALK IN A WAY THAT'S MORE LIKE,,, THAT'S CLOSER TO JUST...ED????

WHAT ON EARTH.

ANGEL NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AND THE FUCKING WEDDING TOPPERS SHDJKSHDJKLS

i mean i knew full and damn well he was going to cry/sob/have a hard time but like

DAVID I ALSO DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS THANKS </3

THIS HOWEVER,,,

THIS I SIGNED UP FOR. BUT DIDN'T AT ALL EXPECT. BECAUSE HSDJKDKS WHAT IN THE FUCKING WORLD,,,

HUSBANDS??? DOING ERRANDS?????? VIBING????????????????

W H A T??????????????

"jodi this is a rom-com and the show is their relationship" H U H LMAO???????

LMAO THE WAY I'VE SEEN ED HEADBUTTING STEDE IN ART BEFORE SO THIS IS JUST INSANELY WILD TO ACTUALLY SEE

BUT ALSO STEDE'S HAND ON ED'S CHEST DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME GO AWAY GO AWAY DON'T LOOK AT ME EITHER HSJKDKLS

holy hell us stiddies girlies (gn) STAY winning SDHSJKDS

BUT ALSO STEDE HONEY WHAT HAS YOU LOOKING THAT DISTRAUGHT. ARE THEY HURTING YOUR MAN. FUCK THEM UP BABE I'LL HOLD YOUR FLOWER

oh cool

cool

that's fine

i'll just

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OUCH @ THAT WOUND ON STEDE'S CHEST?????

izzy and stede interacting more shdjksdkls holy shit. ENEMIES TO,,, TOLERANCE HSDJKLSDKLS????

season 2 i'm too weak for all of this

season 2 i Cannot Go On,,,

[tresdem]

So to caveat this, picking out characterization from canon is YMMV, everyone their own interpretation and it's fine. Talking about Izzy on the internet is a dangerous sport. All that being said! I think sometimes there is too much credit given to Izzy as the one controlling Ed and Ed's image and to little credit given to Ed himself. Is it there? Yes. Is it problematic? Yes. Both Izzy and Ed do some things in S2 that cross so many lines with each other and this is not a post to debate who did it worse or who suffered more for it. (because the conversation is more nuanced than I want to get into on tumblr)

What I do want to talk about though is that, for me, Edward enjoys being Blackbeard, or enjoyed once upon a time. He likes the mystique. He likes the drama. The chaos. The life. He likes to enchant people in his own spooky bwahahaha (ala ye olde smoke machines) just as much as Stede likes to swan in to swash some buckles. And his quarters on the Queen Anne's Revenge is a reflection of his personality. He's a packrat as much as Stede is. He likes cool stuff. He likes spikes.

While I do think that Izzy controls the Blackbeard image to an extent, I feel like it's rarely when Ed is around. We never see Izzy tell Ed: this is not something Blackbeard would do, in front of others. Yes we do have the scene at the end of S1 where he essentially threatens Ed to shape up or else, but other than that he doesn't directly confront him (other than being pissed about Ed risking their lives to get trounced by the Spanish and then I think it was mostly because he just hates Stede)

So, for me, again, Blackbeard is Ed, but a facet of him and a facet that he's grown out of, even if there's parts of it he still enjoys. I feel like he likes the fuckery of it, the drama of it, the absolute mad chaos-- but not if he can't participate. Like what's the point of everyone freaking out if he can't even come onto the boat and terrify them face to face? Lame.

And as for Izzy, because I don't want to get too deep into that, but Izzy-- like everyone on this show-- is a healthy mix of badass and idiot. And I think he can be personable if he wants something, he can play well with others if he doesn't feel like they are beneath him or their not an enemy (which Stede is on both counts). And I think that Izzy truly cares for people esp given what we see in s.2, but he has a lot of his own personal bullshit to shovel through and a lot to unpack. And yes, he is manipulative and he did things he really should not have and etc. But for me he's not the sole cause of anything and not the sole blame for anything. (and I have my thoughts on that situation but...again...don't wanna get into those weeds)

Ultimately for me it's super important that Ed is the main driving force behind his own legacy, his own persona, his own look. Yes it got out of hand, but divorcing all the Blackbeard aspects from Ed I feel takes away from Ed's personality. Does he get trapped in it? Yes. But it's still him. He is a man who likes to put on a show.

Anyway! If you disagree that's fine and I don't hold anything against you. :) There's plenty of room for all kinds of interpretation in this fandom.

[izzysillyhandsy]

Prince Ricky and Izzy Hands - WTF actually happened there and why?

Yesterday I was rewatching the finale with my first-time-OFMD friend, and she was absolutely baffled by Ricky shooting Izzy with his own gun.

In her words: "Nobody took it off him, that's not realistic! That's impossible, totally impossible, I can't buy that, you don't just forget a gun on a prisoner?!?!?!?"

And on my first watch I thought the same thing (as we all did), and then forgot about it a bit, but now I want to speculate. Because WHY did that happen?

The easiest explanation is, of course: Ricky needed a gun and it doesn't really matter where it came from. The writers didn't think it was important and neither should we.

But I'd like to expect a bit more from this show - I remember that I was taken out of my immersion quite a bit by this obvious "mistake". Ricky is a hostage who was just about to kill every single pirate we know - and nobody notices he's armed? And he's led through the enemy lines by Izzy with only a small knife to his back?

If Ricky still has his gun, that means that they took his sword but noone thought of searching him properly (and to really rub it in, Ricky is shown cleaning his gun in an earlier scene). The gun also seems very accessible later, so it probably wasn't even hidden well.

So why didn't the writers have Ricky take Izzy's (or Black Pete's) gun? I know Izzy almost never carries a gun (which is interesting in itself), but they were all in Navy uniforms anyway. Why not take the weapons too? Or have Ricky stab Izzy with a hidden knife (in a way that the other characters won't notice, like with the gunshot, presumably)?

Or was the whole thing actually deliberate? In a "it doesn't really matter if you take it at face value, but if you look closer there might be another explanation" kinda way?

(that was a really long introduction to what I'm actually here for, I'm sorry)

Who actually searched Ricky and took his sword? Was it the same person who stayed next to Ricky during the cool dressing up montage? Who led Ricky through the woods?

(Hint: it's the guy who's always in the background when these 2 are kissing)

Of course we have no proof that Izzy searched Ricky, but I think it is very probable.

Izzy had just been talking to Ricky. He'd been sitting next to Ricky when he was knocked out.

Izzy had just deeply insulted and provoked Ricky and made himself the spokesperson of piracy - "It's about letting go of ego for something larger." - "Kill me. Kill us all. Our spirit will last throughout your entire fuckin' empire." - thereby almost goading Ricky into killing him.

And then Stede presents his nebulous plan we never actually hear, and Izzy (why Izzy?) is put in the most dangerous position, right at the frontlines leading the hostage. Did he volunteer for that?

And are we really expected to believe that Izzy wouldn't double-check that Ricky was unarmed?

I really don't like where this is leading, by the way. Because the explanation that makes most sense from a Watsonian perspective is that Izzy either didn't mind or actively wanted to be killed/wounded.

The show went out of its way to portray Izzy as older, wiser and more resigned in the last 2 episodes - he looked like he'd aged 10 years in a few days, he moved around slower and seemed to be in more pain (and groaning when sitting down, etc.). Also, he seemed to have made peace with everything and everyone, and he seemed... tired.

(I know he's just been shot here, but he just looks exhausted)

I think there might be a possibility that Izzy let Ricky keep his gun because he did want to go. Stede's "It's only suicide if we die!" sounds almost to fitting in this context. Izzy might have thought that the one conversation Ed needed, the one where Izzy could set Ed free, could only happen on his deathbed (as I said elswhere, Iz and Ed are closest in life-and-death situations).

Or (and this is what I choose to believe until S3 comes around), Izzy took Ricky's pistol while he was unconcious, took the bullet out and faked his death to set Ed and himself free. He very pointedly doesn't want Ed to see his wound, after all (Ed: "It's not even that bad!"). If it's only about the deathbed absolution, and removing himself (and the spectre of Blackbeard) from the situation, Izzy doesn't actually have to die, does he?

This also fits with the song played over the end sequence, panning to Izzy's grave:

And don't speak too soon For the wheel's still in spin And there's no tellin' who that will be namin' For the loser now Will be later to win For the times they are a-changin'

Yeah. A bit too conspiracy-theory-like maybe. But it was the first assumption my friend made - 5 seconds after the scene: "The gun can't have been there by accident, that's just stupid. Oh no. Did Izzy arrange that? Did he really want to die for Ed?" and I thought - you know what? That was my first thought as well. I just immediately dismissed it for being too dramatic.

So, either Izzy is the most reckless, stupid and negligent pirate ever (which he obviously isn't, quite the opposite) - or he trusted the person who (badly) searched Ricky (oooh, new conspiracy theory - it was Ed! Sorry.) - or there was something else at play.

OR

...maybe it was just lazy writing after all.

[bookshelfdreams]

aaaaah no i saw another "Izzy can't be homophobic you idiot I headcanon him as gay and anyway, he's right to hate Stede for being soft and inexperienced and rich" post send help (ik all of this has been said before and better, I just need to get it out of my system)

First of all, Izzy is a white and maybe not straight but definitely traditionally masculine man in a society where racism/sexism/homophobia/associated bigotry exist. Okay? Okay. These things exist in the ofmd universe, there's no arguing that away. It therefore stands to reason that Izzy, who grew up in that environment, harbours homophobic sentiments, because it is literally impossible to avoid that.

Detesting Stede for being effeminate and gnc is homophobia. Plain and simple. That's the core of homophobia. It's not about who someone finds attractive in their heart, it's about doing gender wrong. It's not so much about who you have sex with, but how you're doing it.

(And this is what Izzy and Calico Jack and the Badmintons and everone who ever bullied him hate about him. It's not that he's upper class. It's not that he's rich. It's this.)

Homophobia and the patriarchy go hand in hand. Under patriarchy, anything masculine is good and superior and anything feminine is weak and detestable. A good man, a proper man is defined by what he isn't (=not ever feminine), and any association with femininity is degrading. This is why Stede is called a woman (derogatory) by people who are perfectly aware he is a guy, why he's called Baby Bonnet: Both these things say You are not a real man. Does anyone who hurls abuse at him think he's gay? Who knows! It's well known he's married and has children, for fuck's sake! But it doesn't matter what's in Stede's heart, it matters how he behaves, how he speaks and carries himself, his interests, his inability to fit it.

Why do you think he's called fat when he isn't as an adult and wasn't as a child? It's the same thing, it's not logical, just a way for people to express their vague discomfort with him in the most hurtful way possible.

The way Izzy talks about him and the way the Badmintons talk about him parallel each other and that's not a coincidence. Izzy talks about Stede as having "done something" to Ed's "brain", Chauncey Badminton says he "ruined" Ed, that he's "not human" and a "monster". This is the exact violent, dehumanizing rhetoric that has forever been flung at gnc gay men, effeminacy as a corrupting, contagious influence, good upstanding manly men being seduced (hah!) into the Gay Lifestyle. You're not a person, you're a disease.

Fop and ponce may be old fashioned but they are also homophobic slurs.

Izzy doesn't detest the upper class. He has no trouble at all weaponizing his whiteness against Ed when he sends the English after him, when he attempts to buy Ed for himself with Stede's life. Izzy can fit into that world well enough to use it for his own gain as long as it will let him, and sure, he'll be crushed as soon as he's no longer useful but that doesn't stop him from aligning himself with the literal enemy, does it? That's what makes Izzy a class traitor (derogatory) btw, and why analysis that tries to paint him as "just a working class guy who hates the rich" a little silly.

("We're not bigots we are just ordinary salt-of-the-earth working class guys who hate the out of touch liberal elite and anyway, they're all perverts" hmmm, where have I heard this before?)

It's baffling to me that people watch this show and genuinely think "Izzy isn't homophobic, he just hates Stede because he's rich" is a good argument like??? Who expresses this exact sentiment in the show????

Look. I know where this comes from. I too read Izzy as queer. But queer people are perfectly capable of being homophobic towards each other.

Izzy can accept Ed having sex with men who are not him. He's fine with that, and sure, that seems to be proof that He can't be homophobic! at first glance. But, under patriarchy, not liking women sexually is - well, maybe not ideal but under certain circumstances acceptable (after all, under patriarchy, not liking women is perfectly reasonable and encouraged, so it's not a huge leap). But what is not acceptable, what needs to be violently suppressed at all costs, is men being insufficiently masculine.

Which is what Izzy detests about Stede, and what he attacks Ed for in ep10. And this is homophobia in a nutshell.

[our-death-means-flag]

izzy hands x reader with enemies to lovers. that’s it. that’s the ask. im so in love w that angy little man

Bonding Under Duress

Ship: Izzy Hands x Reader  Summary: Stede really wants the crew to get along or at the very least tolerate each other. Unfortunately that includes you and Izzy. So the two of you get sent on an errand for the captains with the actual goal of the two of you getting to know each other. A storm has other plans and you and Izzy learn much more than you wanted to about each other… Warnings: minor descriptions of injury, Izzy being very mean to himself, angst, hurt/comfort

“Absolutely fockin’ not!”

“As much as I hate to agree with that asshole, no.”

For once you and Izzy agreed on something, both of you glaring at each other when you realized.

Stede wilted. You immediately felt the urge to comfort him. “Captain, I’m not trying to question your judgment here, but really, no. There’s no need for this.” You reassured.

Izzy scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Fockin’ ridiculous…” He grumbled under his breath. “I don’t take orders from you, you posh twat.” He snapped at Stede.

You immediately shot him a deathly glare. “God, you're predictable. Get some new material or just shut the fuck up.” 

“Hey now, both of you. I’m not asking.” Stede puffed his chest out a tad. “It’s an order from your captain. I’m not expecting you two to become best friends or anything. All you need to do is go on that island and bring back some peaches! Shouldn't take more than a couple of hours and who knows, you may learn something about each other.” Stede seemed very optimistic. 

You sighed, already nodding, well aware of how far Stede was willing to go for an idea like this.

Izzy seemed to be about to protest when Ed leaned in. “An order from both of your captains actually!” He chimed in.

“Edward…” Izzy all but whined.

“Izzy.” Edward echoed, even mockingly copying Izzy’s whiny tone.

You watched as Izzy’s face flushed every shade of red, though whether it was rage or embarrassment or maybe both, you couldn’t tell. You bit your lip to keep yourself from laughing.  Izzy must have noticed since that seemed to set him off. “Oh fuck off. I’m not going to some stupid fockin’  island to get some stupid fockin’ peaches with this stupid fockin’-

“Bye! See you in a few hours! Have fun, you two!” Ed yelled cheerfully as he was towed away.  

You waved while watching Izzy in your peripheral vision. The bastard looked furious. So much so that he was practically vibrating with rage. Then again he had been thrown over Ed’s shoulder like a bag of potatoes and all but dragged here. 

“So…” You finally asked, drawing the word out, on guard in case he decided to bite you. “Let’s go find some stupid fockin’ peaches, eh?” You couldn’t manage to mimic Izzy’s voice but if you said so yourself, your ‘fock’ was pretty accurate.

Izzy snarled. “Piss off. We’re not working together. I’m going one way and you go the other.” He turned on his heels and stormed closer to the edge of the forested part of the island. You merely waited. He paused, deep in thought, glanced one way, then the other and then seemingly realized what you already knew.

You, of course, decided to rub it in. “I sure won’t stop you if that’s what you want. But I’d recommend against it. Not only is it against captains’ orders but when was the last time you did any navigating on land?” Izzy seethed and you grinned. “Also I have all the stuff, since rather than acting like a feral dog, I actually packed so… again, all your call of course.”

Izzy very obviously considered running off on his own if just to spite you but instead he turned quickly and stormed up to you. “Fine. You’re right.” He said it like the words burned his throat. “But I swear if you get us lost-“

“Yes, yes, I know, you’ll maim me and/or kill me in some creatively brutal and violent fashion.” You waved a hand dismissively. Deciding to go further you added. “Which you and I both know you won’t do since that’d piss off the captains.” You knew you shouldn’t keep teasing but you enjoyed watching Izzy turn red.

With a seething Izzy following you, you started trekking into the forest. Luckily you’d come prepared and had brought along your wide knife to cut through the foliage. The terrain of the island wasn’t quite the same as the ones you’d been on before but it was close enough.

The two of you walked mostly in silence with you occasionally warning about upcoming hazards in your path. You easily navigated the uneven terrain but Izzy had significantly more difficulty. Probably because he was used to a ship. As much as a ship swaying could mess up your balance, it was not comparable to uneven weird terrain like this. 

The first few times you’d chimed in with a “careful” or “watch your step” Izzy had snarled back at you to “Fuck off”. But after nearly falling on his ass a few times, he started to take your warnings more seriously.

(Honestly you deserved sainthood for not laughing until your lungs failed every time he almost fell. Especially since he’d always flail and pinwheel his arms to keep steady.  Something made even funnier by the fact that he was unharmed beside his ego.)

Luckily for both Izzy and your composure, you managed to track down the peach tree quickly enough. As you clambered up the tree and gathered up the requested fruit, Izzy stood around looking woefully out of place. 

You really were trying to work on Stede’s ridiculous bonding plan but you couldn’t resist and pelted Izzy with a peach. You nailed him dead center in the chest. He jumped clearly not having expected the sudden fruit attack but somehow his reaction time was quick enough to catch the peach as it bounced off his chest. He shot you a glare which you returned with a smile. Izzy tossed the peach in his hand, clearly silently considering throwing it back at you. However you simply motioned with the extra bag you’d brought which was currently full of peaches, making it readily apparent that you would in fact, return fire and that you had much more ammo. He backed off.

You climbed down from the tree and just as you were sorting yourself out…

BONK.

A peach contacted the side of your head. You spun to face Izzy and he had the gall to look confused and  innocent despite the fact that he clearly no longer had a peach in hand. You couldn’t help but smirk as you ducked down to pick up the peach and as you were standing up (but before you fully did) you threw it at him.

It just kept going that way as the two of you walked back. The peach being tossed back and forth with varied strength. Whether or not it was possible to break someone’s nose with a peach, Izzy sure as hell was trying to. Hell he’d nearly succeeded throwing the peach so hard you nearly hit yourself in the face with your own hand just from catching it. You on the other hand, had a simpler goal, you wanted to land it on his head. Izzy seemed to assume that you were aiming for his face so his defenses were focused there instead. You were certain you could land it before the two of you made it to the beach but you didn’t get the chance.

You noticed first. Izzy seemed really uncomfortable on land so that’s probably why he missed it. However you’d thought the air felt off all day. But it was only when the first thunder crack pierced the mostly quiet area that you realized that the off-ness you were feeling was the same way you’d feel before a storm.

Izzy had been mid throw when it happened. The peach hit you in the leg and was instantly forgotten as his attention immediately darted towards where you knew the shore was, doubtlessly worrying about Ed. “We have to get to the Revenge.” 

Izzy looked genuinely concerned so you didn’t give a snarky answer. “We can’t. There’s no way they can get a dingy out in what’s about to be a storm.” Your words were immediately emphasized when rain started pouring down. “We can’t make it back now. Let’s find somewhere to hunker down and get back when the storm passes.” Izzy still looked moments away from booking it back to the ship. “Ed, Fang, and Ivan are all on that ship. You don’t have to trust anyone else, just trust that they can handle it. Don’t risk making them worry about us on top of managing the ship.” 

Izzy cursed under his breath as he visibly struggled with the choice but luckily your logic won him over and you didn’t have to drag him. “Fine.” He hissed the word out harsher than any curse word. 

The storm hadn’t been gracious enough to give the two of you any time to talk and the wind and rain was already getting stronger. Despite just having had to talk Izzy out of this exact thing, you couldn’t help but worry about the Revenge. The island was pretty much all tall mountains, you doubted that your crew had gotten much warning. But you had to accept your own logic. They’d handle it. You could trust Ed and Stede to keep the ship safe (admittedly mostly the former).

The wind and rain made traversing the nasty terrain even more difficult than it had been before. The wind knocked you off balance and the rain made the ground slippery. The warm day you’d been having moments ago had vanished, the rain coupled with the wind made you nearly shiver. Despite the cold, you couldn’t run for cover. You had to painstakingly walk carefully to avoid falling.

After you got dangerously close to losing your balance at the edge of a small valley, you decided to reach out a hand to Izzy since you could tell he was struggling. His frantic stumbling was significantly less funny when he was actually in danger. Of course, Izzy didn’t appreciate your offer. You took it as a testament of how much you’d seen Izzy swear that even over the deafening roaring wind, you could tell he was telling you to “Fuck off”.

You could feel the mud under your boots shifting and you were incredibly worried about it giving out in a mudslide so you tried your damndest to move as quickly as possible. You nearly fell when your boot slipped out from under you. If the wind wasn’t so goddamn loud, Izzy might have actually heard your warning. But the sound of your voice was easily overpowered by the wind.  

Then the ground gave out from under both of you. You just barely had the time to launch yourself backwards, slamming none too gently into a tree for your troubles. Izzy wasn’t so lucky. You were immediately back on your feet and spotted him lying at the bottom of the small valley.

“Izzy?” You called out as loudly as you could. No reply. He didn’t so much as stir. Even if he hadn’t heard you, you doubted Izzy would just lay on the ground. “Shit.” You mumbled under your breath and quickly as you could, you made your way down, none too gracefully. You were at his side shockingly fast. Izzy was a little banged up but he was breathing thankfully, though it looked like he’d hit his head. He was out cold. “Well, shit.” You mumbled to yourself.

You ducked down and were able to carefully maneuver Izzy into your arms. For such a small man, he was shockingly heavy. But the universe did give you a bit of mercy when you spotted a small cave, looking to be most protected from the storm. You managed to drag the two of you inside. You put both Izzy and the bag of peaches down and dropped down to the ground, exhausted. Even though you were out of the wind in the rain, you were still soaked and you were still freezing. You forced  yourself to get back up. 

Luckily, the wind blew quite a few sticks further into the cave so you weren’t stuck trying to build a fire with wet tinder. Cold and uncomfortable as you were, it was incredibly difficult to be patient enough to slowly grow the fire but your dedication paid off. Before long You were basking in the warmth of a newly made fine.

You pulled off your overcoat which, while completely soaked, had protected most of your clothes. Izzy had given you shit about it, how a long coat wasn’t practical in the Caribbean (ironic, coming from a man in leather pants and a leather vest). 

Despite what you wanted to do you knew you couldn’t just sit by the fire. You had  to take care of Izzy as well. You dragged yourself up and knelt down by Izzy. He had a small cut on the back of his head but luckily it didn’t seem to be that bad. You didn’t hesitate to tear off one of your sleeves to wrap it up. You pulled Izzy as close to the fire as you dared but he was still shivering a little. You managed to pull him up so you could start the daunting task of getting him out of his vest and shirt. His vest was pretty easy but his shirt was completely soaked and probably responsible for sapping a lot of his body heat. 

As you untied his cravat you noticed the ring around it. You’d spotted the ring before (gotten a pretty close look when Izzy decided he needed to get into your face to yell at you). He always wore it. It was clearly important to him so you didn’t want to just set it aside and risk it getting lost, so instead you slipped it into one of your pockets. At least it would be safe there until Izzy was conscious enough to not lose it.

You had to rest his head on your shoulder so you could wrestle his dead weight out of his shirt. ‘Please don’t wake up right now. Please don’t wake up right now, ‘ you silently begged the universe, because, while you usually followed Stede’s ‘talk it through’ method, that was a conversation that you didn’t want to have. Luckily for once in this dumpster fire of a day, you at least got that and Izzy stayed unconscious. 

You definitely did not glance at his chest, taking in the mix of scars and tattoos that you’d never seen before. And it definitely didn’t look incredibly attractive on him. Not at all.Your jacket was dry at that point so you laid it over Izzy as a makeshift blanket. You considered taking his sword since you didn’t want to get stabbed on instinct when he woke up, but you also figured he’d probably feel better if he had it with him. 

You crumpled against the opposite wall of the cave and basked in the warmth of the fire. Since you were the only one who was conscious, you had watch duty by default. You glanced at Izzy. Hopefully he’d wake up soon. You doubted you could carry him back to the dingy and leaving him behind so you could get someone to help you made you incredibly nervous. 

It was strange to see him so calm. With his face so relaxed and your sleeve wrapped around his head, he looked like a completely different person. You let yourself stare at him for a moment before focusing on something else. Luckily your bag full of peaches was within arm’s reach. Quite a few of them had been crushed or otherwise mangled by the rough journey but you managed to find one that was mostly intact.

At least you had snacks…

---

It wasn’t easy to gauge the passage of time in a cave but you’d have to guess it had been around an hour. You’d had to go grab more twigs and tinder for the fire and the rain seemed to be slowing. That was something at least. Looked like the storm was going to stop soon. Then you’d have to figure out how to get Izzy and yourself back to the Revenge. 

Before you could worry about that a low raspy groan caught your attention. Izzy was waking up… He immediately grabbed at his head, hand going for the injury at the back of his head. 

“Careful!” You said, more on instinct than anything else.

His eyes immediately darted to you and after a brief moment where he seemed to take in his surroundings, he immediately drew his sword and pointed it at you and skittered away as best he could until his back hit the wall. His whole body seemed shaky and uncertain, the hand holding the sword was trembling.

You held your hands up in slight surrender, not wanting to freak him out any more than you already had. “Well, good morning to you too…” you managed, voice shaking slightly with an awkward chuckle. He stared longer. Not knowing what to do, you cracked a joke to ease the tension. “I know, the one sleeve thing looks great on Ed but it sure looks stupid on me eh?” You motioned with your bare arm for emphasis.

“What the fuck…?” He managed to hiss out, he looked genuinely confused.

You furrowed your brow. “Do you remember what happened?” You weren’t a doctor by any means but memory loss could happen with head injuries.

“I…” Izzy managed. He lowered his sword and clutched at his head. “I fell?” He mused, more to himself before a look of clarity passed over him and he hissed out “stupid fockin Stede Bonnet. Stupid fockin peaches.” 

You breathed a sigh of relief, if he was pissed off, then that was back to the status quo for Izzy. “So you definitely remember then. How’s your head?”

“How the hell do you think it is? It fuckin’ hurts.” He snapped at you. He glanced around getting a proper look at your surroundings. “What the fuck happened?”

Glad that he seemed more calm and had stopped pointing a sword at you, you explain what happened: how he’d  fell, how you’d dragged him here. When you reached the part where you’d taken his shirt off, he’d immediately looked down and seemingly realized that he was in fact, not wearing a shirt. He pulled your jacket up to cover himself more, looking almost comically like a blushing lady. 

“Why the fuck?” He immediately snarled at you.

You rolled your eyes. “Because it was soaking wet and you were shivering? You would’ve frozen your damn tits off if I hadn’t.”

He looked like he was moments away from snapping at you when he stopped himself and his hand immediately shot to his throat. Before he could say anything you jumped in, well aware of what he was about to ask. “I have it, don’t worry.” You patted the ring in your pocket. Izzy stared at you almost nervously. You probably would’ve teased him at any other time but you could tell he was genuinely concerned, so you didn’t. 

You stood slowly and walked around the fire, choreographing your movements as not to take him by surprise. “Here,” you said as you gently placed the ring in his hand. He clutched it tightly to his chest, one hand clutching his ring and the other toying with the fabric of your coat. You sat back down and leaned against the wall of the cave.

You expected Izzy to break the silence with an insult or a sarcastic comment, instead you got a soft, shaky, “Why?”

“You wear that ring all the time. It’s clearly important to you and I didn’t want it to roll away or get lost or  something. I-“

“Not the ring.” Izzy interrupted. You raised a brow. “This.” He motioned at himself and the cave around the two of you. “All of this.”

You didn’t expect to somehow get more confused after his explanation. “What do you mean by ‘this’? I mean, sure a cave ain’t all that cozy but it got us out of the storm…. Besides-“

“No!” Izzy snapped, clearly furious. You immediately shut up, not sure what to do. He luckily didn’t raise his sword at you but he leveled a finger pointing at you accusingly. “Why did you do any of this?”

You furrowed your brows, trying to figure out what he meant. “Uh, you know that if I’d left you back there, you could’ve died?”  

He nodded as you thought he might get it then he spoke again. “You hate me.” He said it so matter-of-factly, as if it were just a given, a fact of the world.

You blinked. The pieces clicked together. “I don’t hate you.” You explained softly. Izzy scoffed, disbelief clear on his face. “No, I’m being honest. I don’t hate you. Granted  you can be a fucking asshole. But, I only give you shit because you give my crew shit. I don’t hate you. And even if I did I sure as hell wouldn’t have left you for dead.”

Had he really expected you to just leave him there? 

“Wait…” Though, that did raise a concerning question… “Are you telling me that you would have left me?”

Izzy rolled his eyes. “Of course not. You’re one of few people on that ship that knows what they’re doing. Besides, even if I wanted to, the crew wouldn’t believe me.  Even if it was an accident, they’d all assume I killed you. But they actually like you. Even the captains. You could come back drenched in my blood and they’d still believe whatever you said.” Izzy chuckled humorlessly.

You stared, too stunned to speak. Suddenly, you felt awful about teasing him before. No wonder he was so incredibly hostile if he thought you could murder him and get away with it, that you hated him enough to do it. You buried your face in your hands. “Damn it, I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” You glanced up to see Izzy was staring at you, confusion clear on his face. 

You hesitated, trying to figure out how best to phrase it so it wouldn’t sound patronizing. “I’m so sorry for anything I did that made you feel like you weren’t safe with me. I doubt my words mean much but, I really wasn’t going to do anything more than tease… or hit you with a peach… Sorry about that too.”

His expression only got more confused. You watched as he went from confused to a little scared then immediately to annoyed. “Don’t pretend to care!” He snapped. “If you're planning on lowering my guard for some later attack, it wont work.”

 The ‘it won’t work this time’ was implied. Sure, you hadn’t been a pirate all that long, but you certainly knew how awful people could be. You couldn’t help but wonder about Izzy’s scars. Had he gotten any of them from crew members who hated him? Just waiting for a moment of vulnerability to pounce. 

Izzy Hands was making far too much sense for you all of a sudden. 

“That’s happened before?”

Izzy all but growled at you for that then he actually looked at you. He seemed surprised by whatever he saw. “Of course.” He replied, again his voice matter-of-fact as if that was somehow supposed to make sense. 

 But you were undeterred. “That may be how some people are… But you’ve made it pretty clear how soft and pathetic the Revenge Crew is.” He didn’t seem convinced. “If I really wanted to do something like that, we literally would not be having this conversation right now!” You emphasized. 

“Unless you want something from me.” Izzy snapped immediately.

“Well, I don’t. Not really. You don’t really have to believe me. But I’m not going to hold this over your head. Really, I would've done the exact same thing if anyone else got hurt.” 

Izzy stared at you, eyebrow raised. After a long moment, he huffed and broke eye contact. “I can’t understand you…”

You sighed. It seems like the two of you got completely opposite things from this. You could finally understand at least in part why Izzy was like that, while he was completely baffled by you. You were saved from the uncomfortable silence by noticing that the rain had finally subsided. “Ah, the rain’s gone. Finally, we can get back to the ship.”

---

Izzy watched, pensive, as you stood and stretched, grabbing the bag filled with those stupid fockin peaches, carefully putting out the fire and generally cleaning up. He couldn’t help but notice your bare arm, the one whose sleeve was currently wrapped around his head. 

“Oh, here!” You tossed him his vest, shirt and cravat. They were all in good condition. You’d clearly taken care to take them off without damaging them. Eager to put all this strangeness behind him, Izzy wrestled his shirt and vest on, keeping an eye on you as he did.

None of this made any sense. 

You hated  him. He knew that. You’d made it clear from the moment you’d met. You were Bonnet’s first mate, loyal to your captain and protective over your crew. You’d made it no secret that you didn’t like how he did things. 

Izzy had been hated before. Of course he had. He had a position that people wanted and he was well aware that he wasn’t all that likable. At least before people had a reason to fear him as well. You didn’t. You had an entire crew behind you and with Edward so wrapped up in Bonnet, Izzy didn’t have anyone to protect him. 

Well, except… You, apparently.  You, who’d had every opportunity to get rid of him on this stupid trip even before the storm came in.

 And yet, here he was. Unharmed. Not only had you not tried anything besides the same teasing as usual, but you’d actually saved him. That alone was completely ridiculous. But you’d done more than that. You’d gone out of your way to take care of him. (His ring felt like it was burning in his hand as he put it back in place.) Even if you weren’t going to kill him solely out of respect for your captains, you wouldn’t have needed to do any more than drag him here. Yet, you’d not only torn your shirt to patch him up, you’d given him your jacket and even taken the time to make sure he didn’t lose his ring, just because you knew it was important to him.

He tried to stand but he was quickly overcome with dizziness and nausea so he stumbled. He braced himself to hit the ground but… Instead he found himself leaning against your chest, your arms wrapped around him.

“Shit! Izzy you okay? Ah, fuck dumb question, sorry. Are you feeling dizzy?” Your voice was still so fucking concerned. No mockery. You gently pulled away, seemingly unphased by the fact that he wasn’t responding to you, still supporting him so he didn’t fall. “You… uh… can hang on to my jacket if you like?” Your words made him realize that he was still desperately clutching your jacket.

He hissed out a “Fuck off” on reflex but… Fuck it. He slipped your jacket on. It didn’t really fit all that well but it was warm. 

You smiled. “How about this…” You let him wrap an arm around your shoulder. “I don’t think you should be walking on your own but I sure as hell can’t carry you anymore. For such a tiny man, you’re rather heavy…”

Izzy scoffed. “Not my fucking fault you’re a giant.” He grumbled. There was less bite in his tone than usual but it was absolutely still there.

You smiled at the insult. “I’ll take that as you feeling a bit better. You’re already being a snarky asshole.”

It had been a pain in the ass to clamber back up the hill he’d slipped down. Honestly, Izzy was surprised you managed to clamber down in the middle of the storm and not fall as well. 

The walk back was generally quiet only broken by your occasional comment of “careful” or “watch your step” which, Izzy was realizing, you’d done before. He’d assumed that you were being condescending. But now, considering everything else you’d done you must have been genuinely warning him. The more he thought about it the more he realized how you’d never really been that bad. You teased and occasionally the two of you would get into genuine arguments, but you never did anything particularly malicious. And you clearly cared about your crew. You’d check in on everyone (himself included he realized suddenly) after a raid, make sure everyone ate, and, while you were far too lax about it in Izzy’s opinion, you did make sure chores got done.

Hell, considering how much of non-captain Stede fockin’ Bonnet was, Izzy had little doubt in his mind that you’d been mostly running the ship.

You were still soft. Too soft. But, clearly, it was working to some extent.

You were actually making far too much sense for him all of a sudden. 

Dammit.

Luckily, it didn’t take long for the two of you to find the beach. The Revenge was visible in the water and even from this distance, Izzy could tell that it was undamaged. A dinghy was also already enroute and its passengers all immediately waved at the two of you once they spotted you. 

Edward, impatient as ever, decided he wasn’t going to wait and jumped off the dinghy and waded the last few feet of water before sprinting over to you. “Izzy! Y/N! You two okay? Nasty one that was, huh?” (Any other time, Izzy would have probably chastised him for jumping into the water like that (especially after a storm) but right now, he was just glad to see his captain was safe. )

“Izzy hit his head. Pretty sure it's not that bad but he might have a concussion.” You reported quickly. “Is everyone else all right?”

“Everyone’s fine!” Ed replied.

“The ship?” Izzy asked.

“Fine as well, Iz. No worries.” Edward assured. A pause. “Well… Aside from a few of Stede’s books.” 

Izzy rolled his eyes. Of course.

The dinghy ride back was irritating. Roach seemed determined to check Izzy for a concussion right then and there. Though, it seemed that he agreed with you. Izzy would be fine. He’d definitely feel it tomorrow but he’d live.

The moment the two of you set foot on the Revenge, Stede was there. “Oh thank goodness! We were incredibly worried! I’m very sorry about all this! The storm really surprised us.” 

Luckily, Izzy’s head had calmed enough that he could pull away from you and lean against the railing instead. He quickly glanced around, the deck was messier than usual but didn’t look all that bad. His attention couldn’t help but drift back to you…

You were giving a quick report of everything (far more professional than Stede Bonnet deserved) before presenting him with the bag full of peaches. Bonnet was quick to announce that everyone was getting some kind of peach dessert that Izzy had never heard of as a reward for making it through a storm. Izzy scoffed. The reward for making it through a storm was being alive.

As Bonnet ran to the chef so he could explain this weird dish, you walked back to Izzy, leaning against the railing next to him. “I can handle everything up here. You should probably lie down.” You explained softly.

“Don’t need to lie down.” Izzy grumbled back.

You rolled your eyes. “What’s the point of having two first mates on a ship if you can’t take a break? I’ll get Captain Ed to drag you if I must.”

“Fine.” Izzy spat. A long pause. Izzy glanced around. Everyone seemed not to be focused on the two of you. “Thank you.” He said quickly.

You smiled. “Yeah, of course. Don’t worry about it.”

“...I’m still going to be a dick.” He confessed.

That actually made you laugh and Izzy couldn’t help but think that he liked that sound. “Duh. I’m not expecting anything to change. And I’m still going to give you shit.”

Izzy chuckled himself and nodded. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

You pushed off of the railing and waved goodbye. “Well, I’m off to ask Stede if I can borrow one of his shirts for a bit. See you around!”

“Good luck.” Izzy replied, both of you well aware that you were going to be dragged into Stede’s wardrobe and not return for hours. You chuckled. 

Just as expected, the moment you asked, Stede’s face lit up and you were immediately dragged off into his pastel colored hell.

Before Izzy could even take a breather, Ed was all but leaning on his shoulder. “Hi. You’re going to lie down.” His voice held the same force as an order. Izzy sighed, well aware that resistance was futile.

As Izzy was all but dragged back to his cabin, with a promise that someone would go check on him later, Ed decided to talk. “So,” His captain began with a grin that heralded problems. “Nice jacket.” Izzy’s eyes widened as he realized he was still wearing your jacket. “Guess you guys really got to know each other huh?”

“Piss off.” Izzy grumbled but made no move to take your jacket off. “My clothes were wet.”

“Ooh! So they saw you naked too?” Ed teased and Izzy all but short circuited.

“I- Ah… My shirt and vest were wet.” Izzy clarified, somewhat shakily.

Ed merely hummed. Izzy knew him well enough to know he wasn’t done. “So… when's the wedding?”

“Edward.”

A/N: Izzy’s one of my favorite characters so I have to be mean to him. Also, I've gotten a few requests for enemies to lovers with Izzy, so, there will be more coming soon. (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

[writingraven]

Hello, would you be able to post tips on how to start a pirate au? This is my first time making one.

【 Hi! My tip for any au (or any story, really) is simply research. It’s important to understand the dynamics and realism. So I put together some pirate knowledge for you! I’ll probably make more posts on this soon. I’m thinking pirate terms, ship terms, common weapons, things like that. If you’d be interested, let me know. Hope this helps, and good luck on your story (: 】

The Pirate Life

warnings: violence

✶

↳ Drinks

⇝ portable drinking water was hard to come by so many ships carried an abundance of wine, beer, and rum

⇝ a famous mariner drink is grog (sugar-water, lime juice, and rum) which was known to prevent scurvy

⇝ another is bombo/bumboo (sugar-water, nutmeg, and rum) or rumfustian (water, raw eggs, sherry, gin, beer)

↳ Eye Patches

⇝ not only worn because someone lost an eye

⇝ worn to keep one eye adjusted to darkness

⇝ when fighting/raiding below deck they could switch the eye patch instead of waiting for vision to adjust

↳ Flags

⇝ not all pirate flags were black with a skull and crossbones

⇝ most pirate flags were plainly black or red (completely red flags were known as the most aggressive)

⇝ if there were designs, many adorned hourglasses to represent the inevitability of death

↳ Freetime

⇝ when not working, pirates often played cards or dice (although, gambling was against the rules on some ships), sang, danced, partied, etc.

⇝ stopping at ports was a fairly regular occurrence so they could take a break from the harsh sea to sell goods, repair the ship, and of course find women

↳ Life of Crime

⇝ sure, some people became pirates for the life of crime, but the overwhelming majority were simply sailors who abandoned their jobs due to horrendous working conditions

⇝ pirates were treated far better by their captains than navy men

⇝ there were even periods of time where pirating wasn’t illegal — governments would enlist pirates during wartime to plunder enemy ships. these pirates were labeled ‘privateers’ and legally allowed to operate under ‘letters of marque’ which basically made them military contractors

↳ Longevity

⇝ pirate careers were a few years long tops (even the famous blackbeard only lasted two years)

⇝ many were killed or injured especially because medical facilities were practically nonexistent

↳ Positions

⇝ well-run ships had a clear division of labor

⇝ positions included captain, quartermaster, boatswain, carpenter, cooper, gunner, navigator, etc.

⇝ the captain had absolute command during battle and chose where/when to go somewhere

⇝ the quartermaster oversaw ship operations and divided the loot

⇝ pirates were not as chaotic as media portrays — they were actually quite democratic

⇝ but the illusion of being brutal would be beneficial for plundering as the possibility of surrender was increased

⇝ most pirates were illiterate, but there were quite a few who actually came from higher social classes

↳ Raids

⇝ looting gold/silver was much less common than looting supplies (food, drink, candles, navigational tools, repairing equipment, medicine, etc.)

⇝ most pirates didn’t want to kill people — they would steal the goods and leave the crew (or let the crew join them) especially because the bounties weren’t usually worth it

↳ Rules

⇝ most pirate ships took their rules very seriously, with punishments being severe

⇝ common rules were against lying, stealing amongst themselves, fighting on board, gambling, etc.

⇝ walking the plank was not a common punishment (it actually rarely ever happened) — punishments were usually flogging, dunking, tying to the mast, hanging, marooning, or keelhauling

✶

Famous Pirates to Check Out for Motivation: Stede Bonnet, Anne Bonny, Francis Drake, Calico Jack, William Kidd, Henry Morgan, Mary Read, Bartholomew Roberts, Edward Teach (Blackbeard)

[ladyluscinia]

Your post about Ed's trauma vs. the Stormtrooper fights is right on the money imo. What gets me is that it didn't have to be an impediment when there could have been a fuckery! The reunited Revenge crew, now even stronger b/c of Izzy's integration, could have pulled an amazing Theatre Kid con that highlighted Ed and Stede's creative chemistry and this underdog group's ability to Bugs Bunny their way past better fighters with no casualties. Instead, Ricky has the biggest fuckery of s2, wtf?

Re: This. I think the fandom might have made the idea of fuckeries more interesting and important than canon intended to, in hindsight.

Like the idea of doing piracy through primarily theatre gay productions that upend the risk of dying in combat in favor of special effects hijinks was a really good comedy concept. And it worked well with the two main character types we got in S1 - silly theatrical underdog who cannot win a swordfight for the life of him + dramatic hidden depths guy who became a legendary pirate but can't actually kill people himself - and the rest of the crew's vibe in general - eclectic misfits that will not be intimidating anyone. I even liked it for Izzy! I know we liked to say he was from Black Sails but tbh he really wasn't, and the guy who slashed up Stede's shirt without breaking skin was made for selling that kind of bullshit as dangerous.

But - for all the extensive meta tracking how Stede's underdog trickery comes out on top again and again (primarily from Stede blogs, obviously, though everyone seemed to agree it was pretty solid) - canon only describes 2 instances as fuckeries: the introduction of the concept in 1x06, and Stede faking his death in 1x10. Everything else - even in S2 - is just fandom extending the concept because we think it's cool and makes sense. Ricky doesn't do "a fuckery", he just betrays Zheng with a trick and makes a pun about it.

Looking back, I think fuckeries only exist as a thing in OFMD meta because we liked the thought of them, and the kind of comedic canon they would support (team crafts, hijinks, no danger, muppet logic). I think S2 makes it clear canon only viewed a "fuckery" as the symbolic first step in Stede being a pirate. He's introduced to the concept when he's not ready yet, and then he successfully crafts and executes one at the end of S1 (against people who aren't trying to fight him, crucially) to show his rebirth. Now in S2 he's free to move onto real piracy - life threatening situations and swordfights. The penchant for trickery and underdog jokes is just character flavor, not an actual pursuit of its own.

That's why raids in 2x05 are just raids, talking in 2x06 is just talking, and the Navy dress-up in 2x08 is not an alternative to getting past the British mooks, but some kind of leg up on surprise attacking them (at least that's what it kinda looks like?). It's not "a fuckery" - it's a battle plan that can be sprinkled with hints of fuckery to spook, befuddle, or surprise. You still win with skill at violence.

Piracy is an action/adventure genre about killing your enemies with swords, guns, and cannons, and apparently OFMD was never looking to challenge that - just play in the space of our cast getting good (or maybe getting out).

[hauntingcryptids]

Waking Up Beside The Two Of You

Edward Teach x Reader x Stede Bonnet

Summary - The Reader wakes up in the arms of their boyfriends.

Warnings - nothing, I think, just fluff

Word Count - 439

A/n - Gender Neutral Reader. Not Requested.

--------------------------------------------------------------

A calming purple cloud swam around your head as you rode on the back of a dolphin through the sky. You were dreaming, you knew that, but you didn’t want this fantastical fiction to end. Though, you did wonder what was going on around your sleep-ridden form. 

A few voices drifted in and out of your ears. It was Ed and Stede. You could tell that it was them even in your dreamy state. Conversations about pirates and plans were being had by the voices, causing the dreamworld you were in to shift to a fanciful version of the pirate life. Just you, Stede and Ed sailing a flying ship through the purple clouds. Occasionally, one of you would pull the other into each other's arms and dance and kiss on the deck while sailing to your next adventure. 

Some sunspots began to shine through your dream and some of your partner’s conversations began to echo in your mind more clearly. You knew that you were beginning to wake up now. 

“What if we created a multi-barrel cannon? Multiple barrels for multiple shots meaning more damage.” Ed gestured. 

“Revolutionary!” Stede whisper-shouted slightly louder than he and Ed had wished.

“Shush! Don’t wake them up, man!”

Despite Ed’s statement, you stirred. Most of your dream world disappeared into the darkness, but the images of your boyfriends remained in your mind. With your eyes still closed, your arms stretched out into the air, and you felt a hand on each arm caressing your skin.

“Good morning, dear.” Stede welcomed you as soon as you opened your eyes.

“Mornin’, love!” Ed winked at you before continuing to speak.

“Finally joined us in the world of the awakened, I see.”

“Good morning Blackbeard and The Gentleman Pirate.” You often teased them with their pirate names, especially as cheeky morning hellos and nighttime goodnights.

“Did you sleep well?” Stede asked genuinely.

“I had very interesting and pleasant dreams. What about you two?”

“We were just planning out some brand new weapons.” Stede was very excited, more than usual one might argue.

“Well … I don’t know if it’s new, but it will scare the life outta our enemies, I’d say!” 

“You must tell me what you are planning!” 

“After breakfast you two. We have to be all ship shape … ahhhh … before we get to the pirating.” Stede lept out of bed excitedly while you and Ed shared a jokingly-annoyed look about Stede’s horrible pun. The three of you, once fully out of bed, then ventured over to Stede’s secret wardrobe in order to get dressed before enjoying your breakfast and morning together. 

[jims-strap-on]

ABOUT:

hi i’m ash!! 27, any pronouns, genderqueer/bi/ace. i’ve been rping since 2009, and have been on fbrp since 2012. i decided to try out tumblr again. im married and have four cats.

i’m a multimuse rp account in the our flag means death, acotar, supernatural, good omens, marvel, phantom of the opera, and harry potter fandoms. my main fandoms are OFMD and ACOTAR, and my main muses are Jim, Izzy, Rhysand, Azriel, and Feyre. OC and crossover friendly.

I love writing angst, hurt/comfort, and romance, including (optional) smut. i can do either canon or AU. i especially love themes like enemies to lovers and mafia AUs.

I’m okay with dark themes such as violence, blood/gore, self-harm, drugs and alcohol, etc.

I don’t reply terribly consistently so writing with me requires patience, I work full time and suffer from PTSD/depression and can’t reply while in funks. I will not tolerate my partners nagging me for replies.

i’m not picky about reply length, there is NO need to match mine. sometimes I tend to rant and reply length gets away from me, I don’t expect the same detail in return. however I do prefer para/lit. usually I’ll write a couple of paragraphs.

𝙁𝙀𝙔𝙍𝙀 𝘽𝙄𝙊

𝙍𝙃𝙔𝙎𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝘽𝙄𝙊

𝘼𝙕𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙇 𝘽𝙄𝙊

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH:

Muses: Izzy Hands, Jim Jimenez, Edward Teach, Archie, Stede Bonnet

Izzy/Stede

Izzy/Ed

Ed/Stede

Stede/Izzy/Ed

Oluwande/Jim

Jim/Archie

Oluwande/Jim/Archie

A COURT OF THORNS AND ROSES:

Muses: Feyre Archeron, Azriel, Nesta Archeron, Rhysand, Eris Vanserra

Feyre/Rhysand

Nesta/Cassian

Azriel/Elain

Azriel/Gwyn

GOOD OMENS:

Muse: Crowley

Crowley/Aziraphale

SUPERNATURAL:

Muses: Sam, Dean

Dean/Castiel

Sam/Ruby

Sam and Dean (NOT shipping NOT as a pairing!! but I love brother interactions!)

HARRY POTTER:

Muses: Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger

Draco/Harry

Draco/Hermione

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA/LOVE NEVER DIES:

Muses: Erik, Raoul

Erik/Christine

Erik/Raoul

MARVEL:

Mus𝙚𝙨: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers

Bucky/Natasha

Bucky/Steve

Bucky/Sam

Bucky/Tony

Bucky/Zemo

Bucky/Clint

Steve/Tony

AU WISHLIST:

enemies to lovers mafia boss AU: our muses are both leaders of rival organized crime rings. they are both alone in the world and have spent their lives looking out for number one, falling into a life of crime desperate for money with no other options left. could take place in the present, or 1940s brooklyn.

sugar baby AU: my muse is a successful, professional business owner searching online for a baby to take care of long term and spoil. the arrangement is strictly platonic and sexual, until feelings start to develop.

sugar baby mafia AU: our muses meet on a sugar baby website. my muse is a crime boss who is interested in your innocent muse as a live in submissive in exchange for a handsome monthly salary. your muse is interested in the world of organized crime, letting my muse show yours the ropes while providing sex as a stress relief. bonus points if your character ends up joining a life of crime and running the crime ring with mine

BDSM club owner AU: my muse is a BDSM club owner who meets your submissive character at the club and frequently run scenes in my character’s private room at the club. it turns out they compliment each other in the bedroom well; your muse is the brat who likes to work for their rewards, while mine is the brat tamer who has all the time in the world. possible kinks include degradation, masochism, knife play, bondage, spanking, ropes/cuffs, cock warming, voyeurism, praise—open to suggestions. i’m also open to a pleasure dom and eager submissive dynamic.

mafia boss/police officer AU: our muses match on bumble, meeting up at a club my muse owns for a first date. your character works as a police detective, not knowing that their date is actually the owner of several clubs which secretly are coverups for sex work and drug dealing. the very same crime ring that your muse is assigned to taking down.

slave auction AU: your muse is sold to mine at a slave auction, only my muse only purchased yours to take them away from this life, gain their trust, and slowly heal them over time. maybe my muse is also just a little lonely and wants companionship. my character keeps yours safe while only ever treating them with gentleness, which your muse is not used to after such a hard life. this could also be sunshine x grumpy, my muse being the brooding grump who has a not-so-secret soft side.

Other plots:

enemies to lovers, our characters hate each other and have frequent hate sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism to serve as a distraction. they are in deep denial about their feelings and keep the arrangement strictly physical, until they can’t any longer.

good omens only: crowley and aziraphale decide they want to explore the human act of intercourse, exploring what each other like in the bedroom as they learn about their boundaries and various kinks, leading to BDSM. they are only friends wishing to indulge in a new human interest they realize they really enjoy, leading to eventual relationship. dom!aziraphale

These are only possible specific plot ideas I enjoy, of course i’m open to anything; as mentioned earlier, my favorites are angst, hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, found family, fwb to relationship… feel free to come to me with ANY of your own ideas! shipping/NSFW is not a necessity, i’m open to a lot!

[tizzyizzy]

Stede’s back, and Ed plots revenge. The only snag in the plan is that is he needs someone aboard Stede’s new ship, guiding him into his cunning trap.

Ed gives Izzy the order. But, Izzy says, Stede and the crew hate me. They’ll never trust him, if they even let him set foot on the ship. Ed makes it very clear this isn’t his problem, and if Izzy wants a position when he gets back, he’ll be creative.

So Stede ends up in a chance meeting with Isabella Palmes, a former associate of Blackbeard’s who is willing to trade information for passage. She’s a well-built, older woman with an aquiline nose and gray streaks in her raven black hair. Unwilling to disappoint such a dignified lady, and without other leads, Stede invites her aboard.

At first, Izzy is taciturn and solitary, afraid the slightest misstep will reveal his ruse. He nearly has a heart attack when the Swede asks what Izzy Hands is doing there, and why he’s in a dress? But the entire crew comes down on him like a ton of bricks and Stede spends the rest of the day apologizing, claiming the crew aren’t used to the company of the gentler sex on the boat, swearing that nothing of the sort will happen again.

Izzy thought this would be hell. Mostly, its just boring. Izzy can’t remember the last time he was free of responsibilities, but Stede won’t allow him to help with even the most mundane tasks. “You’re our guest!” he says. “If you need anything, just ask.” All he can do is read, and drink tea, and talk.

It’s strange, being talked to like this. For years now, he’s been Izzy Hands: First Mate. A taskmaster to the crew. A dangerous enemy to outsiders. Right-hand man to Edward. But Isabella Palmes commands neither fear nor contempt. Roach asks for her opinion on his latest macaroon recipe. Wee John sews the ruffle back to her gown, chatting about his mother. Lucius, miraculously alive, shares juicy gossip while he sketches her on deck (clothes on). She takes tea with Stede every day, who apologizes for their sparse accommodations and inquires after her every comfort.

Soon, Izzy finds the support of the stay and weight of his skirts more freeing than the leathers of First Mate Izzy Hands. He doesn’t need to be tough here. He just needs to be himself. He sits by Stede during story time and makes wry comments that send the crew into peels of laughter, but puts his hand on Stede’s knee so he knows Isabella means no harm. They tell him about themselves. In return, Izzy reveals things he never has before, altering only the most identifying of details.

But this can’t last forever. Izzy is in distress for days as they approach the trap, hiding from their concerned looks in his room. He betrays his friends, or Blackbeard. Either feels unconscionable. Revealing his true identity would, somehow, be even more painful.

In the end, he leaves a note in Stede’s bedroom. He confesses to having tricked them. He tells them how to get the drop on Blackbeard, and prays that Edward and Stede can reconcile. Then he takes a dinghy out in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately, stormy weather roils in and capsizes the dinghy, the sodden folds of the gown weighing him down. Worse, Stede’s crew come to the rescue.

Izzy expects fury and confusion. He knows what Blackbeard would have done in similar circumstance. Instead, he is offered forgiveness and concern.

If he hadn’t spent weeks as Isabella, Izzy might have maintained a grip on his emotions. As it is, he bursts into tears. He tells them he’s so, so sorry. That he doesn’t know what to do. That things used to be good between him and Edward, but it had all gone rotten, and he was just trying to fix things. To prove his lov-loyalty. That he knew what he was doing was wrong, but didn’t know how to back out, felt like he had no choice but to go through with it. That he’d betrayed Edward and now had nothing.

He spends the evening bundled up with one of Stede’s robes in the captain’s quarters to beat back the chill. Stede and Izzy talk about Edward. About love, and regret, and hope until Stede insists Izzy take his bed for the night.

The next morning, Stede finds Izzy watching the sunrise on the quarterdeck. He dismisses Buttons, then asks whether Isabella has ever had the pleasure of steering a ship before. Izzy says she hasn’t.

He finds himself urged to take the helm. Stede covers Izzy’s hands with his own in guidance, pressing the length of his body against Izzy’s back. He rests his chin on Izzy’s shoulder, and speaks in a voice so soft it is almost a whisper.

“You were ill-used by Edward,”Stede says. “No matter what happens at the end of all this, you’ll be taken care of. Edward and I, you and Edward...you and I. I promise.”

Izzy body burns. He swears he can feel his heart breaking in his chest.

[avastyetwats]

An End to the War (but not to us, never us).

Continued from here. @izzyeffinhands

Gunshots. Screams. Canon fire. Screams. Bloodshed. Screams.

It was all so much. It was all too much. Stede Bonnet has been involved in battles before, but nothing like this. Nothing with this amount of bloodshed and death. He tried to prepare because they knew it was coming. They knew this battle, this war was inevitable, thus why they worked tirelessly to unite all the pirates and crews that they could, to bring everyone together so they could all fight as one crew and put an end to this war once and for all. He trained with Israel, he trained with his crew, he trained with Zheng, with Ed, they all trained and prepared together and Stede took initiative. He gave speeches about hope and heart, he inspired and motivated, he helped unite, he proved himself as a pirate, he proved himself as a Captain.

And yet, he felt completely unprepared. Shocked and horrified. Frozen. He was fucking frozen as the explosions and screams filled the air around him, as gunshots rang out and bodies fell to the floor, as screams of pain and screams for help echoed around the port. There he stood, bloodied sword in hand, having added to the death toll of his enemies, in shock with himself and all that was happening. He still wasn't used to killing, but he learned it was a necessity not only to stay alive, but to keep his crew alive, to keep his family alive, and he accepted it, but it didn't exactly make it any easier either. Which was a huge fault of his, a flaw. Because he felt useless. He felt weak.

"You're nothing but a weak-hearted, soft-handed, lily-livered rich boy and that's all you will ever be."

His father's words played over and over in his mind and he could feel his eyes welling with tears, he could feel his hands shaking, his knees shaking, close to giving out from under him. He thought he was ready for this, for the war, but all of the training, all of the raids, were nothing like this. The life of a pirate was nothing like Stede Bonnet imagined back before he was one and he knew he was naive, he learned that rather quickly after becoming a pirate, and yet, he continued on. He was determined to succeed, and though he's grown and has certainly become a better pirate and Captain, he was still a long way off from becoming the best. But he's proven himself more and more, he's protected his crew, he's helped them grow which is what he wanted, he's held his own in battle, having once thought being in the field was his thing, blacking out and the adrenaline taking over, but yet... here he stood frozen.

Because this was unlike anything he's been part of, unlike anything he's trained for. And he knows he needs to snap out of it. He knows he needs to raise his sword and fight alongside his comrades, along side his crew that was counting on him. They needed him and he was failing them. He needs to help them, he needs to fight, he needs to--

“ Bonnet? —Honey, honey look at me. I want you to.. — “

That voice. Oh, that sweet, sweet voice. It snaps - no, it rescues - Stede from the daze that nearly cost him his life because he can see the new body laying next to his feet, but he pays it no mind. No, he only looks at Izzy. At his love, at his light, at his husband. His savior in this moment, too, among many others and oh god, he was failing him, too. He was failing the person he loved most in this world, the person that helped fill him with so much confidence and pride, that made him feel loved and cherished and important, the man that prepared him for all of this, sticking by his side through every good day and every bad, the man he didn't deserve in this moment but here he was, having saved his life, now cupping his face and reminding him of the plan.

The canon fire makes Stede flinch, ducking down with Izzy in his arms as the canon flies right by them, hitting a nearby building that was thankfully vacant, having evacuated those that could not join in the fight. There are tears in his eyes when his head comes back up and he's holding onto Izzy's arms, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Izzy. I'm so so sorry. I'm... I'm failing you, I'm failing everyone. I didn't -- I wasn't -- oh god. I'm sorry." He apologizes over and over, his grip on Izzy tightening, almost bruising at this point, but then Izzy lightly shakes his body to snap him out of it, Stede goes quiet and listens to him. Izzy always had a way with grounding Stede, with calming him down, with pulling him out of the darkness and back into the light. Because he was Stede Bonnet's light.

He remembers the plan but god, he can't leave Izzy. The thought of being apart kills Stede, especially if something happens to him. If he -- "Izzy, no. I can't... I can't leave you. I can fight. I can fight with you. Please." Tears spill from his eyes as his hands now hold Izzy's that are holding his face, reciprocating the kiss that makes even heaven sigh and kissing him again, terrified that any of these kisses could be the last and oh god, he feels sick just thinking about it. He can't lose Izzy. He can't. He can't just let everyone fight while he hides. He refuses. He knows the plan. To hide. Or at least that's what it felt like. He knows there was a reason for it, not only to keep them safe, but a reason to stay hidden so they could attack from the shadows, but it felt so wrong. He was a Captain, he needed to be out there with everyone else. He needed to fight. He needed to defend.

But he knew what this kiss meant. The way Izzy kisses him with such desperation, the way he crushes his body against Stede's. He can't accept that. "You're not dying, Israel. You're saying goodbye and I won't say it back. I can't. We still need to have our wedding after this, right? You promised me we would." He could feel his strength returning to him, he could feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins, he could feel his blood boiling - it's exactly what he needed. The thought of losing Israel, the thought of anymore death, filled him with anger, with determination, with resolve.

"Uh... g-guys, they're coming! Wee John and the other's gonna need us!" Roach's voice yells over the gunshots and screaming in the background, sword in one hand and gun in the other.

"Fuck." Stede curses under his breath, forehead falling against Izzy's, terrified of letting him go. But he had to... Izzy was needed at the battlements and Stede was needed at Market Way. They had places they both needed to be and unfortunately, that wasn't together. "Do not die, Israel. Do you hear me? That's an order." But also a plea. He couldn't live without him. He just couldn't. So, with one last deep breath, he holds Izzy's head to his and closes his eyes. "Je préférerais nager dans des mers agitées avec vous, plutôt que de naviguer dans des eaux calmes avec quelqu'un d'autre*." A reminder of their promise together. Of their future. Words he's spoken - once written - to Izzy before, that were for him and him only.

And with one last kiss to his lips, they part ways. Tears continue to fall from Stede's lips as he runs with Roach to where Wee John waits, seeing in the distance the soldiers coming down the way and as soon as Stede takes cover beside Wee John, he looks up at him with resolve in his eyes. "Blow them to hell."

(*I would rather swim in stormy seas with you, than sail calm waters with anyone else.)