#Also don't disrespect aromantic people. I see you people who disrespect them

[ceaselesswwatch3r]

this is a reminder that asexual means little to no sexual attraction. Because even though I can understand that asexual can be used as an umbrella term, I've seen so many people mistake it for being aroace (which is little to no sexual AND romantic attraction) and I can't help but feel like some of my identity keeps being misunderstood. If you don't want to say aroace that's fine, I just want to remind people that they aren't the same thing

[lu-lus-duckies]

rant about shipping asexuals

I can't with the discussion around shipping asexual characters anymore. You know what? As an asexual (or someone on the spectrum, haven't figured that part out yet) I give you permission to draw/write/create all shipping things you want to. Next time someone tells you "you can't do that, it's disrespectful to the asexuals" tell them lu-lus-duckies is ace and gave me permission to draw all the asexuals as sexy people doing hot gay sex.

Actually, tell them lu-lus-duckies told me to make this art, because I want you to. As an asexual who's not repulsed by sexual topics, give me all of your art! I want to scroll through my feed everyday and find the most beautiful, jaw-dropping, toe-curling pieces of art you can make.

I honestly don't see a problem as long as in canon, they remain asexual and don't go the whole "they found the right person" route because fan content will always be fan content and that shouldn't discourage people from making art. I love art. I love every kind of art. You don't even want to see my rule34 folder, the shit I have on there would make the kinkiest of you do a double take.

It's honestly more annoying seeing mischaracterization of asexuals than the actual shipping. My man alastor wouldn't be all head over heels, he'd be an ass, enemies to enemies with benifits, a "I'm going to be in a relationship with you because it benifits me and maybe you too".

Just please be mindful to who you send those to. I am perfectly fine with all of this, but someone might not be. As long as you aren't actively sending them things they are uncomfortable with, there is no problem. If your art that ships asexual characters shows up on their feed that's not your fault. The people who find that disturbing or uncomfortable can easily ignore/block that content and that'll be the best solution for everyone. Sure it's not perfect, but forcing people to stop making something they're passionate about isn't something I'd like to see at all.

I respect other aces wishes to not see aces depicted in ship art and i also expect that other asexuals respect my wish to want as much fan content of this asexual character, including ship art, as possible. At the end of the day, it won't happen in canon and people just like seeing their favourite ace character interract with another, so they make their own shit and that's badass.

And of course, it's all okay as long as it's fictional. Please don't go around telling ace people in real life they should go have sex with someone because they'd be cute together or something stupid like that.

Edit: this goes for the aromantic bit too. (I'm also definitely demiromantic, that I've figured out. so I'm not sure how much I have a say in this considering i do feel some form of romantic attraction, but i think the same can be said with aromantics.)

[wronggalaxy]

Some random queer stuff that you don't get told at initiation but are expected to know anyway because people are bad are remembering past experiences like being a baby queer(dictionary and edits at the bottom):

1) Being aromantic does not mean you're loveless/heartless but some aromantic people are loveless/heartless and that's okay too.

2) A lot of queer people are also disabled, especially neurodivergent, especially autistic, so learn about those communities as well.

3) If you don't like queer slurs then tell your friends, that's a boundary, but you have no right to tell anyone they can't say them, especially if you don't know the person. Unless you know for a fact they aren't queer, then kick them in the crotch(I don't care their genitals, this will hurt).

4) Queer may be an identity now and widely used in the community, but it is still a slur so if someone asks you to not call them queer/say queer around them then don't. Non-queers can say queer if they're talking about an identity(i.e genderqueer), but otherwise shouldn't. And if they're using it in an insulting way, kick them in the crotch.

5) Person who menstruates, menstruation/period products, person with uterus, etc. forever. All of us, or none of us. You don't get to ignore trans people just because you're cis.

Dictionary:

Aromantic: A person who feels little or no romantic attraction or only experiences romantic attraction in certain circumstances.

Loveless: An aromantic person that does not feel, understand, or connect with love in any form.

Heartless: An aromantic person that feels separated from romance and any or all forms of love.

Neurodivergent: Differing in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal; not neurotypical.

Genderqueer: Denoting or relating to a person whose gender identity does not correspond to conventional binary gender distinctions.

Menstruate: Discharge blood and other material from the lining of the uterus as part of the menstrual cycle(AKA period).

Trans(gender): Of, relating to, or being a person whose gender identity differs from the sex the person had or was identified as having at birth.

Cis(gender): Whatever gender you are now is the same as what was presumed for you at birth.

Edit for confusion: Queer identity=queer community, including fictional. Tell me if anything else doesn't make sense(but don't be rude about it because disrespect doesn't lead to respect and at best I'll just delete the comment/ask)! This is all a bit vague since it was like 3 AM and I hadn't really expected more than 2 or 3 people to see and interact.

[zephyra-in-the-house]

Helloo! I wanted to say that I loved second chances sm, when I found a random chapter last year I read the entire fic in a couple days bc I had to know what happened next, then reread it every now and then while waiting for the updates

I like how we can see both sides of the coin with shadowpeach, how they both care but are still struggling for different yet similar reasons, their struggle with what they went through, dealing with each other's personality traits and habits(their own too) that are still hard to let go of, the glimpses of the consequences of the punishments and their backstory in general

And maybe it's a me thing, but I feel like your Wukong acts like he's a bit aro spec, maybe demi aromantic, and I love that he does, especially while still explicitly loving(and like longing for?) Mac sm

I got that feeling after rereading one of the conversations shadowpeach had in the kitchen when Wukong said something about just wanting to be near Mac, and having him as his best friend was so great kinda like there couldn't possibly be anything better

I know it's probably to show how he grew up, or his personality, and that he's dense (specifically when it comes to reading Mac's feelings towards him) but I feel that just adds to the similarities with the aro experience bc there's a side of the aro community that is blind to more romantic stuff, and romantic-coded gestures or more intimate closeness is just closeness all the same

And your Wukong gives me the impression that he just wanted Mac to be close to him, didn't matter what kind of close, and that he holds the title of "best friend" as a really special thing. Be it BECAUSE of Mac, or maybe since before becoming friends with him, like not just anybody would be his best friend (Also it was maybe to show his trust issues, but still)

I think Wukong said somewhere that he just wanted Mac to be happy to be around him, as happy as SWK was to be around Mac. And I know his inability to put his feelings(love) into words more than referring to a strong or special friendship is probably to show that he's not good with Feelings™, but I like to think that maybe he is enamored in the way a queer platonic love would feel like, so calling it a strong or special friendship kinda does cut it to some degree I think

Also the way Mei (everyone really, but she's more expressive about it, and we see her more than other characters) sees Wukong as a hopeless case, but I think Wukong would see Mac loving him strongly in any way as the best thing ever, as long as it's strong love, he wouldn't mind, love is love, like he just wants to be as special to Mac as Mac is to him

Also I'd love to see them be together even if they don't have the same kind of love for each other, bc the love they have for each other would still be just as strong, and would let them have just as strong of a bond, (in the future, as things are going I have hope, I do hope they end up together in this universe, even if nothing of what I'm saying fits them by the end)

I mean no disrespect to your original idea, or if that's not what u intended, I tried looking through your blog and I haven't found any mention of something similar or headcanons about it

But yeah, idk if u mind ppl putting headcanons on your stories? Some ppl do mind, so idk I just wanted to say that regardless of that hc of mine, I think how you write them is so cool and interesting, and I find that about Wukong really cool even if it's not really where the story is heading and it's been really fun to reread

Also sorry for the weird english, it's not my first language ^^'

First things first:

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

I absolutely love in depth analysis like this it's so interesting to read and to hear what people think of my story. I 100% love writing this story specifically because it demonstrates how these two are completely different and yet eerily similar people who are just struggling to reconnect with other people despite them both having their flaws and traumatic experiences. It's really fun to write and explore and I absolutely love everything that you said here about it~

Duuude!! I fuckin looooveeee that headcanon! Holy shit that's so awesome! Honestly, I didn't even realize I was writing Wukong that way but now that it's been pointed out I can totally see it!

As someone who is kind of on the ace spectrum, I think I may have just subconsciously made it that way. Just like every other author I know, I have a habit of adding my own traumas/ideologies to my stories so I really shouldn't be too surprised LOL

But don't worry! I don't mind people making headcanons about my story~ In fact, that's my favorite part of writing is seeing how people interpret the story and seeing how they formulate it into drawings or headcanons like this! It's so cool!

Initially, my intention was to write Wukong as being oblivious/in denial about his own feelings and in general just bad with feelings. However, I really love your idea too! It's definitely one of those things where Wukong is just happy to be around Macaque. Macaque is "his person", the one he feels happy and comfortable around, the one he feels he can be open and honest around... and yeah I just realized how much that sounds like the beginnings of a queer platonic relationship LMAO

In any case!

I absolutely love your analysis and I 100% agree that Wukong would be okay with Macaque loving him in any way, shape, or form so long as Macaque feels as safe and comfortable and happy as Wukong himself feels when they're together. ❤❤

Thank you for reading!

[donniesexceptionalmind]

Ok so i'm a straight AroAce but how do we actually know we're AroAce ?

Like, what if i am simply straight and it's just that me being autistic make it diffucult for my ways of expressing love and attraction toward girls fits into what society call "romance" and "attraction"

Who says what's romantic and what not anyway ? I'm still AroAce (?) Since i lack both things but sometimes i wonder "maybe it's just society that decided which is which".

You understand me ?

If i seemed to say anything that's disrespectful towerds AroAce or autistic people i apologize, i really didn't mean to. I'm on your side anyway boys and girls.

-star Anon ⭐

I understand you very well, Star Anon!

Did you know that autistic people are most likely to be queer? [📃]

This might be because compared with neurotypical people, autistic people may be less influenced by social norms & therefore may present their internal selves more authentically!

As an autistic person with alexithymia it's even MORE difficult to manage. I have learned to not bother with fitting to society in terms of gender expression or relationships.

Some thoughts about being aromantic:

I do not yearn for romantic partnerships & I feel fulfilled without such a connection.

However I still have intense, loving feelings, they're just not romantic in nature. There are many forms of love & society is very focused on romantic love. Just look at the movie industry or pop music culture. Romance is everywhere.

Being aromantic doesn't automatically mean you're emotionally cold (it can represent like that). I can form emotional & personal connections & they are deep enough for me to feel satisfied with my life.

Thoughts about being asexual:

People who identify as asexual experience little or no sexual attraction to others - I simply don't have the urge to participate in this field of physical contact. Feeling a form of physical attraction to someone is partly biological but also influenced by society (see beauty standards)/ cultures.

An asexual person can be straight, gay, bisexual or queer because sexual attraction is only one kind of attraction!

If you feel well described by those terms it's absolutely okay to use them. You don't have to label yourself at all, if you don't want to.

Romance has evolved in the last few thousand years. The ancient Greeks created different concepts to describe love.

Eros was romantic love, while storge was family love. Philia was brotherly love or friendship, and agape was an all-encompassing, unconditional love for a partner, God, or someone important to you.

There is no right or wrong.

I hope I was able to provide input!

[elinaline]

It's weird stumbling upon a post from a terrible era of Tumblr and realizing people laugh at it because they do not know how it was and just think people are being stupid.

2016-2018 were fucking awful years to be asexual or aromantic on here, because some very prominent Tumblr users had decided that aspec people weren't queer, were taking resources away from the "real" queer community, and had discussion about cultural behaviors and expectations that made them uncomfortable to question. There was a monstrous wave of harassment, bad intention "jokes", suicide baiting in the aspec tags, ridicule of aspec culture... It was honestly traumatizing, and it killed the aspec community, it's something we just now talk about a bit more, but all our discussions, our jokes, our academic writing... It's pretty much gone. These jackass harmful behaviors still fucking hurt everyone to this day by the way, because that's where all the tentatives to do taxonomy on being queer stem from. As if the exact correspondence to words was of any fucking importance.

Notably, one of the thing that was going on was mocking the positivity posts and the tries to keep that culture here, and we all know how much Tumblr users love telling people that they are valid and their feelings are valid.

Thus here's what happened, on that fateful week of 2017 all of those above comments were made: op, who scrapped their old posts but clearly were somewhat involved in the infamous ace discourse on the "I don't think asexuals are queer" side, made this joking post. Maybe not with the aim to bully maybe they just genuinely thought of that fun pun like this ! But it still very much felt like a dogwhistle and that's what user 2, traumatized by a year of harassment, was trying to say. User 3, who was very much extremely aphobic and also a literal child in 2017, just jumped on the occasion to make another "asexy" look like they were being too dramatic and stupid.

In 2023, when you're not aware of this history (it is history ! This wave of online harassment soon translated into real life gatekeeping and many ace orgs simply vanished into thin air) all you see is someone doing a pun, the biggest most ridiculous over reaction you've ever seen in your life, and someone clever making fun of it, making you wonder if maybe asexuals aren't a bit childish and dramatic. And that's how dogwhistles work you absolute fucking disrespectful morons.

[hanselpayaso]

Hello, welcome to my publication where I am going to try a little of this character of mine, although I admit that his story and appearance gradually changes until I feel satisfied with the story of the comic that I am still writing (and I don't know if I will release it very soon but I'm not in a hurry to show it since this comic is a hobby and I want to enjoy it)

Hola bienvenidos a mi publicación donde les voy intentar con un poco de este personaje mio , aunque admito que su historia y su apariencia va cambiando gradualmente hasta que me sienta conforme con la historia del cómic que aún escribo (y no se si lo sacaré muy pronto pero no tengo prisa en mostrarlo ya que esto del cómic es un pasatiempos y quiero disfrutarlo)

I have warned that this character is a little wild and the truth is that she believes him to be a couple and also an Antagonist so she has a slightly toxic attitude and also believes her with every intention of being sexy or minimal without shame

Tengo advertí que este personaje es un poco salvaje y la verdad lo cree para ser una pareja y también un Antagonista así que ella tiene actitud un poco tóxicas y además la cree con toda la intención de ser sexy o mínimo sin vergüenza

I warn that I am going to live contradicting myself, I am still not clear about what I want with this character

advierto que me voy vivir contradiciendo aun no tengo claro lo que quiero con este personaje

This is like Keyla's human appearance (since in my story Ben is supposed to know her with this appearance) in my mind she is a mixed race girl although I like to think that she has a lot of Latina, she takes this appearance to blend in people and live a life of inconict

Esta es como la apariencia humana de Keyla (ya que dentro de mi historia se supone que ben la conoce con esta apariencia) en mi mente es una chica de raza mixta aunque me gusta pensar que tiene mucho de latina, toma esta apariencia para mezclarse entre las personas y vivir una vida de inconicto

Keyla is a Bisexual or Pansexual person and a little aromantic, she had several partners throughout her life and was involved with women and men from different alien species, although she is the type that does not like commitments, she has the idea who is a free spirit (all the drawings are based on randown ideas or role-playing games that I had with friends)

Keyla es una persona Bisexual o Pansexual y un poco arromantica, ella tuvo varias parejas a lo largo de su vida y se involucro contó con mujer como hombre de diferentes especies aliens, aunque ella es del tipo que no le gusta los compromisos ella tiene la idea que es un espiritu libre (todo los dibujos son basados en ideas randown o juegos de rol que tuve con amigos)

Despite being such an extroverted and conceited girl, the truth is that Keyla has many insecurities regarding her appearance and her abilities and these increase when she meets other Revonnahgader who seem (in Keyla's eyes) to be better than her in every aspect and That makes Keyla work harder to improve her appearance and conictive skills.

Apesar de ser una chica tan extrovertida y presumida la verdad es que Keyla tiene muchas Inseguridades con respecto a su apariencia y sus capacidades y estas aumentan al conocer a otros Revonnahgader que parecen ( a los ojos de Keyla) ser mejores que ella en todo aspecto y eso hace que Keyla se esfuerce más en mejorar su apariencia y habilidades conictivas

Keyla is generally shown as someone who is disrespectful, indifferent, irrational, and has a tendency to change her mood easily. She has a knack for reading people and telling them what they want to hear. She is generally playing a character so you will rarely see her true essence. because she doesn't trust anyone enough to show herself as she is, and it's easier for her to be someone else to please and win over people and get what she wants than to simply be herself.

Keyla generalmente se muestra como alguien irrespetuoso, incuerente,irracional,y de tendencia a cambiar de humor con facilidad, tiene una facilidad para leer a las personas y decirles lo que quieren oír, generalmente está interpretando un personaje así que rara vez verás su verdadera esencia porque no confía en nadie lo suficiente para mostrarse como es además le resulta más fácil a ella ser alguien más para agradar y ganarse la gente y obtener lo que quiere que simplemente ser ella misma

[aceamamicore]

What's your opinions about Rantaro being aromantic/asexual headcanon?

Personally for me, I can see the asexual headcanon and have used it before, but I am a bit hesitant to see him aromantic. Partially due to me like seeing him in ship, but also because it's hard to tell based on how little there is to go off of him (in the main games, I haven't really seen much from UTDP and DR:S). Most of his events surround the killing game itself and his sisters, only a couple of throw away moments about his looks and such. So while it can be interpreted as aromantic, you can also see it as him being stretched thin based on his quest to find all of his sisters.

But I don't blame people if they like it or play around with the idea. There is not a lot of aromantic characters in media and they have to look around to find representation. Otherwise, I'm just genuinely wondering your opinion. Thanks.

hmmm, well, before i give my headcanon, i do want to say that i don't think people should need to give justifications for why they headcanon something. sexuality and romantic orientation headcanons are often extremely personal to the people having them, and i don't think it's something you need to find canon basis for-- though it is still important to have characters who are canonically these things, so that people different from the cisheterosexual mold have characters to see themselves in.

rantaro is asexual. i do not engage with content where he isn't, just as a personal preference, but i also headcanon everyone in dr as a different flavour of ace so (shrugs) you know how it is. i think rantaro's lack of interest in interpersonal connections (sexual and otherwise as demonstrated by his love hotel) is largely circumstantial, to be sure, but rantaro also expresses canonical discomfort with sex and being thought of in a sexual way so i'm pretty confident about that being as close to canon as i'm going to get an ace hc.

i do not personally headcanon rantaro as aromantic. i will NOT be bashing the headcanon here as i find that extremely disrespectful, and there are some really good threads out there by people who do think he's aro on why they think so, or even just why they like the headcanon. my buddy craig glownary is a big aro rantaro guy and he's soooo based about it.

i will say though that i find it pretty aphobic when people make rantaro aromantic to take him out of the equation in a fic. do you know what i mean? he's aromantic as a background character, to make sure he can't get in the way of any of the main pairings. even though you don't have to be aromantic to be focused more on your family than dating or you don't have to be aromantic to not want to date somebody. oftentimes i feel like people in fandoms use incompatible sexualities as a reason to justify why two characters aren't in a relationship and i just think... it's one hell of a hoop to be jumping through, and additionally... it relegates arospec asexual people (like myself) to the backseat, where we've been, and i just find it to be extremely disrespectful.

so in essence headcanons are extremely personal but tbh i rarely see aro rantaro content where he is the focus of the story (aside from stories about his aromanticism, which is great esp if you're aro and projecting but you can also be aro and just living your fucking life ya dig) so it makes me wary.

[daggersandarrows]

People using characters who share their sexuality to represent and explore the way in which they experience their sexuality is probably one of the most common headcanon/fanwork activities in the book, and yet anytime an aspec person does it for an aspec character of any variety, people seem incapable of accepting that. I know there are a lot of factors that go into this, like the limited understanding of aspec identities, and other aspec people becoming very defensive because they don’t want to experience even more erasure, but honest to god. Can ya give us a fucking break and let us explore our identities through fictional characters the way everyone else does. It’s honestly exhausting. Cad is quite literally the only canon aroace character I can think of, stop policing how actual aroace people view one of the only characters who share their sexuality. Please. You don’t have to like it, you don’t even have to interact at all, you can easily curate your own experience, just stop fucking policing our actual experiences and how we use fiction to explore those.

(also I accidentally unfollowed you trying to send this ask becasue tumblr settings be a bitch)

thank you omg ;_; yes exactly

honestly when caduceus came out, fandom was nothing but hell for me and a lot of my friends for quite a while. the thing is, most of us had already decided that the bit in talks where taliesin said that caduceus understands jester's porn but "just isn't into it" was confirmation enough.

i'd been writing aspec!cad in relationships for months by the time he came out...and all of a sudden, it wasn't allowed anymore. all of a sudden i was disrespecting ace people. i knew several people who were literally harassed off of ao3 by their supposed "friends" for daring to write shippy cad fic.

don't get me wrong, i saw my fair share of "well but ace people can fuck so i still get to ship him right" takes that drove me up the goddamn wall. i get it. it's frustrating. and a lot of aroaces, repulsed or not, never want to be in a relationship and like seeing representation of that--and that's fine. i just wish the rest of us were allowed to exist too.

like the worst thing about this is that the vast majority of harassment and hate i've gotten is from other aspecs who tell me i'm not "really" ace for my desires, past relationships, etc. it drives me crazy. i've never felt more unwelcome in a community of my peers.

i think people might be surprised, given my very shippy nature, at the extent of my ace headcanons. i think percy is asexual. i happily clung on to the popular interpretation of aromantic grog. i think jester is an aromantic pansexual. i think fjord is biromantic asexual. i think beau's demiromantic and yasha is somewhere on the asexual spectrum, and caleb's always been vaguely arospec to me. this is how i write them in every one of my fics. i don't announce it or tag it as such, but it's how i feel about them--but if any of these were canon, honestly, i don't think the way i write them would be accepted at all.

(also i saw you refollow and got really confused lol...dw i've definitely done that in trying to send an ask before too)

[mittensmorgul]

Incoming sad rant about the spn ending. Don't read if you're not interested in reading something like that, but I literally don't know anyone in real life I can talk about this with, and I really need an outlet:

Sometimes I can put the way SPN ended out of my head and think "it's just a stupid show. I don't have to accept the finale, and the writers/network are wrong." But other times I just get gripped with really intense sadness at the disrespect that was done to my favorite characters. To the point where I'll sit still for hours a day, just wallowing in it. It ruins my whole day and mood. And then I think to myself "I'll just find some other stories that end better!" but then I get sad again, cuz I don't think I will ever love other characters as much as I love Dean and Cas, and then I spiral again thinking about all the potential this unique beautiful love story had, and how we're never going to get the closure we deserve.

I really hate that after all this time, I'm a grown ass adult getting sad over fictional characters. I know it's not that trivial, but I sometimes wish it was so I could get over it 😞

Hi hi, and first of all *socially distanced internet hugs* I’m sorry you don’t have an outlet, but you’re always welcome to chat with me (if you come off anon we can talk privately if you want. My DM’s are always open, even when it takes me a bit to reply. no one should have to feel alone in this.)

I’m actually gonna start at the bottom of your message and work my way up, because I also, as a grown-ass adult, get sad over fictional characters. And I need to emphasize that this is the *point* of fiction. A well-written and developed fictional character is *indistinguishable in our minds from an actual real human being.* The way we react to them *feels exactly the same to our brains and bodies* as how we react to real people, and that’s a testament to just how well developed Dean and Cas were in canon.

I am not a young person. I have engaged with a lot of media over my life, and have *never* felt this strongly about fictional characters before, so I understand what you mean when you struggle to think about finding another story that ended better, or struggle to think about finding other characters you might become this attached to or experience this sort of emotional investment in. And I think there is another factor you didn’t consider there: The vast majority of other media I have engaged with, I was able to relate to on a level of “oh that’s nice for them” or “wow that sucks for them.” I have never, and possibly never will again, feel so utterly invested in fictional characters, to the point where it affects my real life as much as Supernatural has. Period.

I will likely never experience *literal physical lovesickness* over two fictional characters ever again. I hadn’t ever experienced it *in my own real life* before, and yet 15.18 triggered all those symptoms in me. As an aromantic person, this was pretty shocking to me. It also says a lot about just how real these characters feel to us, and how important they have become to us. They make us feel this! This is not an accident. It’s *incredibly difficult* to create fictional characters with this range and depth of emotional connection, and yet here we are.

I think that’s the biggest evidence possibly to present in defense of the statement that THIS IS NOT JUST SOME STUPID SHOW.

Other evidence: this fandom, still going strong after 15 years. Look at every SPN convention for proof. Look at AO3, where there are more posted stories about Dean and Cas than literally any other pairing on the planet (by a not-small margin, too). If that isn’t enough evidence, we have fanart to look at as well. Look through @theroadsofararchive where at the time of this posting there are over 40,000 artworks catalogued, and more being added all the time. Same with @canonspngifs where you can search through through nearly 75,000 gifsets organized by an excellent tagging system and made by dedicated fans out of love for the thing. This is all proof that you are not alone, that so many of us care just as deeply about them as you do. Not even mentioning the people who have written hundreds of millions of words of meta, articles, and even masters theses and doctoral dissertations on Supernatural and the fandom. This is a unique thing, even within the larger fandom culture. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your feelings for it are stupid or irrelevant or wrong.

But also don’t let anyone try to convince you that you must accept the finale as part of the story if you don’t want to. Don’t even let *yourself* believe that if you don’t want to. This show has done more to play with the themes of “what is reality” and “who gives a story meaning” and alternate universes and curses and djinn dreams to easily account for whatever the heck the finale was.

my current go-to theory: everything after Chuck’s defeat takes place in the Mockumentary Alternate Universe... it fits way too uncomfortably well... and then I just apply the fic I received in a cosmic transmission from the actual supernatural universe wrote detailing the events of what *I* hoped would transpire afterward. I know this doesn’t work for everyone, but it works for me, mostly because it *has* to. It means far too much to me not to.

You are not alone in having invested yourself into this story, and these characters. Your feelings about them are not wrong or stupid or frivolous. And the proof is everyone else who feels the same exact way, who connected to this story (and to each other through this story), and whose lives have been forever altered through this journey together. The fact that Dabb turned out to have been Chuck Junior and couldn’t see (or was prevented from showing us) what Team Free Will would’ve chosen to do with that after defeating their original creator just stands to prove to me that the finale can’t possibly be The Truth, you know?

I don’t know if any of this will help you, or provide you some small comfort right now, but maybe it will eventually. We’re all processing the loss of the show and the abject failure of story that was the finale in different ways, and I’m sure our emotional reactions will shift over time. It was just A Lot to process all in the span of a few incredibly emotional weeks-- not even mentioning how all of that emotional response was compounded by the american elections and surrounding nonsense, the general stress of enduring a global pandemic and all that entails, and *waves hands around broadly at everything else contributing to the trauma occurring in the collective of humankind right now.* We’ve all been emotionally compromised, so be kind to yourself in how you feel you’re coping with it all.

And know that no matter what, you are not alone in how you’re feeling. The grief is real, and our brains don’t care if it’s felt for fictional characters or real people. This was honestly a once in a lifetime experience for a lot of us, and not even the wtf of the finale can kill it for us if we don’t let it. I reject that particular piece of rusty rebar and choose to believe in a just and narratively coherent resolution. To do anything less feels like dishonoring the story and characters who have drawn me in and made me feel so much for them over the years. If the story itself couldn’t honor them properly, then I can choose to do so myself.

<3

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

This is super personal but I'mma rant into the void anyway.

So, heads up for relationship trauma, s-xual & romantic orientation questioning, & general existential crisis.⚠️

~~~

So....

I don’t experience s-xual attraction. But I have a “normal” s-x drive & I’m not repulsed. The thing is, honestly....

with the right person, & with consent, I’d probably still Do The Do™. But for me there’s never gonna be attraction or s-xual fantasies (I don't get any of that, I just...don't 🤷‍♂️). It’d be purely consent. I consent to participate, & he or she or they (maybe multiple people too, I love the idea of having 2 partners) consent(s) to participate, & we just...are intimate together. No attraction needed.

And then for romance, it’s like....more confusing & complex.

Because I want //a// romantic relationship. I love the idea of romantic QPRs. But I also like.....I don’t get romantic attraction, I think, but I eventually fall in love. I don’t ever start a friendship or relationship looking for romance, & I don’t feel drawn to people that way, & I don’t even view them as more than a friend for....years.

The first 4 or 5 relationships we had were toxic, because we were in a bad place seeking our worth from other people & allowed our boundaries to be disrespected. The 5th/6th wasn't toxic, but it still took around a year for us to fully fall & start getting flustered & being excited to hear from them. But we still didn't get ✨butterflies in the tummy✨. We got more of a peaceful “I can see me spending the rest of my life with you”, which...could also be platonic.

So ¿if we don’t fall in love until we’ve already been dating for a minimum of a year, was the first year or two unintentionally romantic QPR?

& if we're right, if we're aromantic, then....¿what would that mean?

Because we still love participating in & consenting to romantic interactions & things that are usually exclusive to romantic relationships. Kisses, (& I know cuddles can be romantic for some,) dates, flirting, etc. But if we don’t get attraction, & other people do, then it wouldn’t be fair for them to be in a relationship with me when I can’t reciprocate all the feelings that they get. The attraction. But I can still fall. I still want romantic love in general. I can reciprocate feelings, yet my interest is more difficult to keep because I can move on fast since there’s no attraction. & if that’s true, ¿is it fair to ask anyone for the level of attention & love that it would take? ¿Would we ever be able to be in a relationship?

And then there’s being a mentally ill, disabled, & neurodivergent multiplicity system. We’re a lot. & we can no longer hide & mask it all. We have to be open about all of it....but it's a lot for even us, let alone potential partners.

There’s around 700 of us right now. When we felt safer there was still around 200 of us. We doubt we'll ever have less than 20 people, & plan to heal towards functional multiplicity (meaning we’ll never be just one person). We have varying levels of trauma, trust issues, & touch starvation. We would (& have) interact similarly to or extremely different from one another around/with a romantic partner.

We're a lot.

So ¿would we ever be able to have a partner, or multiple partners? ¿Would anyone love us despite (or even because of) it all?

& it’s no longer than feeling that I’m/we’re unlovable. I love myself. I know I’m lovable. I adore my headmates & know they’re lovable. Now it’s just....self awareness & an existential crisis.

We're a walking contradiction & always will be.

& we can accept that. But we’d like to have partners that accept it too & love us in spite of & because we’re complicated & too passionate & messy & a lot. We’d love to find singlet allies (who don’t just think it's Cool™ that we’re Different™, & don’t think we’re all the same person or just pieces of one broken person), & to finally have a partner / partners who stay(s).

~Nico (co-host, protector; he/they)

[ace-queen-of-arendelle]

I'm looking to write my second ace!Elsa fic, and I hope it's not rude to ask - is there anything you do/ don't see in fiction or fanfic about asexuality that you'd not like/ would want to see? (Can be more specifically relared to Frozen if you'd like)... I'm not ace but I can totally see Elsa being asexual. Again sorry if this is rude of me!

No worries, I don’t find this rude at all :)

First off, it’ll make a difference whether you’re writing Elsa as aromantic as well as asexual, or if you’re going to write her as having romantic feelings but not sexual ones (e.g. ace lesbian Elsa). If you’re writing aroace Elsa, make sure you include aromantic/aro in the tags as well as asexual, so you don’t look like you’re conflating the two. If you’re writing romantic ace Elsa, make sure you avoid things like ‘Elsa is asexual but don’t worry, she can still fall in love!’, because that’s super disrespectful to aromantic people.

Elsa as a character is naturally disposed to angst about things and she has struggled a lot with her self esteem, so she may well have negative feelings about being asexual, and it wouldn’t be unreasonable to show that. BUT. If you’re going to include Elsa feeling broken or deficient, make sure you have another character (e.g. Anna, a love interest, a minor character who happens to be ace too) reassure her that this is not the case. Being asexual isn’t a tragedy. However, you could just as easily decide that while Elsa is stressed and depressed about a lot of things, her sexuality isn’t one of them, and have her embrace her asexuality without too much fuss. If you’re not ace yourself, I’d advise you not to focus too much on the negative feelings.

Make sure that you keep Elsa’s asexuality separate from her fear of getting close to others (physically and emotionally) because of her powers. Maybe she thought those were the reason she wasn’t interested in physical intimacy (and/or romance), but discovered that wasn’t true once her confidence grew but no sexual attraction surfaced. Yes, some real people are asexual due to trauma, but it’s not something that should be written by non-ace people because it runs very close to harmful misconceptions about asexuality as a whole.

Some people think that for representation to ‘count’, the label has to be outright stated word for word in the text. There’s nothing wrong with that, and if you want to drop the word ‘asexual’ into the dialogue that would be great, but I don’t think it’s compulsory. It might sound awkward or clunky to put a modern word in the mouths of characters from Elsa’s setting and time period, so it would be enough to have her describe her lack of sexual feelings or desires in words that better fit the story. And include the word asexual in the tags.

If your Elsa is alloromantic (i.e. not aro), you could show her being affectionate with her love interest in non-sexual ways. E.g. hand-holding, cuddling, kissing. You could have her love interest be interested in having sex but have Elsa explain that she’s not comfortable with that. If the love interest is meant to be sympathetic, make sure they react with acceptance (a bit of confusion and disappointment is okay but if they’re getting mad at Elsa for not putting out, you have to make it clear they’re in the wrong.) Alternatively, some ace people do have sex, so you could have Elsa agreeing to have sex with her partner but feeling surprised that they wanted it because she forgot it was a thing, or not really getting why it was so important to them.

If your Elsa is aromantic as well as asexual, show her enjoying her independence, or bonding with friends and family in a platonic way. Maybe she doesn’t get why romantic relationships are so important to other people. Maybe she feels left out because of that. Or maybe she’s glad she has one less thing to worry about. One thing I personally like seeing as a fan of aroace Elsa is exploring the differences between her and Anna, who’s a huge hopeless romantic, in a way where neither sister comes off as having the ‘right’ idea, and they love and support each other despite their differences. Anna doesn’t really understand how Elsa can not want a partner, and Elsa will never truly get why romance is so important to Anna, but they do understand that this is what makes their sister happy, and so they’re happy too. It’s also really funny to see Elsa just being nonplussed by romance. Also if your fic is set a few years in the future, consider: cool auntie Elsa.

Anyway, provided you steer clear of the main problems, I’ll just be stoked to have more ace Elsa content, so you go write that fic! Also I’ve noticed that you said second fic. Please show me where to find the first one!!!

[marshmallowgoop]

Some of us lesbians want diversity in our representation. We don't want them all to be perfect, and we accept that we can have representation that isn't moral just like every other sexuality. You can't speak for everyone, especially as a non-lesbian, and declare Ragyo unfit for being a gay character. Go back to talking about the talking shirt.

LET US HAVE RAGYO WHAT THE FUCK

your latest take really hurts me, goop. i started following you awhile ago because i love kill la kill. but as a lesbian and someone that loves ragyo (while not excusing her) your claim that she is “too evil” to be representation for me and my people really turns me off of this blog.

Should’ve stuck with what you know. You obviously aren’t aware of the symbolism behind Ragyo and anything about her beyond her calling Senketsu ugly.

I can’t tell if this is all the same anon or not, but I’ll address it all at once.

I’m sorry if I came off as saying that Ragyo is “too evil” to be representation. That was 100% not my intention, and I’ll have to work on my wording even harder if it sounded that way. It is never ever my intention to “take away” representation from anyone when I share my headcanons. I’m just sharing what I personally think.

And personally, I might see Ragyo as aromantic and asexual. I also might very well see her as a lesbian. I’m open to it. I don’t deny the rainbow symbolism or that she is definitely depicted as having an affinity towards women within the show. Once more, I am open to the possibilities. You can see that in all of my headcanons. 

It’s more than fair if you find my headcanons offensive. But on the same note, it’s more than fair for me to find Ragyo’s presentation in Kill la Kill offensive. If you, however, are happy with her representation? I’m not about saying that you’re wrong. I can see what you’re saying, even if I disagree personally because I am a survivor and a wlw (who might very well be a lesbian, by the way, but I’m still questioning my attraction to men and other genders) who finds this portrayal disrespectful to my own life experiences. 

If you enjoy her, you enjoy her. I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m simply expressing my own issues with Ragyo’s representation in the show. I feel there are much, much better ways of portraying a villainous lesbian than to have such fanservice-y, glorified presentations of incestuous female-on-female abuse. I feel that Kill la Kill could have had more positive representation to even out all the negative representation. I know the team can do better. I think they are doing better now.

I knew sharing my thoughts would upset others because I am clearly not good at expressing myself well when it comes to these serious topics. But I didn’t expect such a hostile response. I am open to viewpoints. I am open to what you have to say. There is no need for personal attacks, for saying that I have no brain cells, that my work is all horrible simply because you disagree with it, that I’m just too stupid to understand a series that I have dedicated so, so much to. These messages hurt me. I’ve been on the verge of tears because of all of this. 

I am genuinely sorry if I’ve been hurtful with what I’ve written and expressed. But please understand that all of this… is hurtful, too. I’m trying to be better. I’m trying to learn. It’s plenty fair for you to find what I’m saying offensive, but it’s not fair to attack me like this. I’m not shutting down anyone as you are here. I’m not saying that you’re wrong. I’m simply saying that I, personally, find something offensive and disrespectful. And you can find that stupid and lacking brain cells, fine. But I’m not gonna be okay with being insulted like this. It’s cruel.

[d3pr3ss3d-qu33r-fairy]

Why Don't People Get It?

I have seen a lot of people who are mad about that transgender person (a man) about his biologically being a woman and getting periods. It makes me mad for everyone misunderstanding.

For a good majority of older people, I get that your thinking is different from (most of) us millennials, but is it that hard to be accepting or to listen?

I have transgender friends and they are NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS.

THEY ARE HUMAN!

THEY MAY NOT BE LIKE YOU, BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE THEM “NON HUMAN!”

Let’s get two words straight that most opposers of transgenders can’t grasp:

SEX VS GENDER:

SEX IN THIS DAY AND AGE; Sex is what you are biologically… male or female.

GENDER; Gender is what you feel or identify as. This can include things such as a woman wanting to be a man, a woman wanting to be a woman, a man wanting to be a woman, a man wanting to be a man, or simply no gender identification whatsoever for any reasoning.

Whether you like it or not, THERE ARE people out there that don’t feel comfortable as the gender they are born as and will change it or possibly not identifying as other and feeling no gender limitation. They have the right to be this way. YOU MAY NOT BE THIS WAY, BUT DO NOT TAKE AWAY SOMEONE ELSE’S RIGHT.

Also, what’s with the hate of being Aromantic, Asexual, Gay, Bisexual, and all other classifications? If someone is a certain way, that is the way they were born to be! Just like transgender people were born one way but feel another.

BEING THIS WAY

IS

NOT

A

CHOICE!!!

I have many friends among the pride community and there are many combinations, and I love every single one of them. They are kind hearted people who are expressing themselves and doing what they love! I love every single one of these people and it makes me happy to see them happy. They deserve to be happy. Just because YOU are ONE way DOES NOT give you the right to say that THAT WAY IS WRONG AND THEY DON’T DESERVE HAPPINESS OR RIGHTS!

If you can’t understand after all of these explanations, I don’t know what to say. But at least don’t be rude and disrespect these people.

Put yourself in THEIR shoes.

Think about all of the hate you are giving or the hate that other people are giving to these people and imagine that hate towards you.

WOULD YOU APPRECIATE IT?!?

WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT AMOUNT OF HATE?!?

All I have left to say is everyone deserves happiness and to be able to express themselves. Everyone is beautiful and developing in their own ways. Respect all sides, even if you don’t identify, agree with, or love the same way as another.

Thank you.

[ofcowardiceandkings]

hi rory, i'm sorry but i just don't understand anymore, and i don't know where else to ask. can i not headcanon sherlock as ace anymore? when did that become wrong?

mmmmmmmmmmm okay this is a complicated issue but i’ll do my best

basically, theres nothing wrong with you thinking sherlock is ace (and gay), so youre not doing anything wrong on that front and thats still a point you could reasonably argue. the problem comes in with how “he’s asexual” is the reply to him being gay as if the two are mutually exclusive - you can be gay and asexual - and it is a homophobic argument

theres a long-standing history of taking queer-coded characters and deciding theyre asexual / aromantic because it makes them still not interested in other genders but also not gay, its a kind of “purification” thing and it IS from a place of homophobia. its a similar kind of homophobia to queer identities being seen as not suitable for children because we’re all dirty nasty gays who only think about sex, but everyone is bombarded by straight sex every goddamn day of our lives right from the word go. its something thats been happening literally since people have picked up on any kind of queer-coding, its disrespectful to the authorial intent and absolutely an excuse to not face the reality of that intent to make a character not straight

“i see x character as asexual as well as gay” ; good“im going to hijack this post about a gay character to tell the op i think theyre wrong because i see x character as asexual not gay” ; bad

EDIT: ferrefolk says:to add to this! a lot of the impetus behind saying 'x character can't be gay theyre ace' comes from an assumption that being gay is about/defined by sex, and so saying 'he cant be gay he's ace' often comes across as homophobic bc it implies a) being gay is inherently abt sex and b) you're trying to distance yourself from the idea of gay sex in particular