#Aphrodite x Hephaestus

[sarafangirlart]

Debunking some misinformation about Hephaestus and Aphrodite’s Marriage

I’m so sick and tired so I’m making a thread, enjoy. I’ll break it down into several points.

1. Hephaestus demanded Aphrodite’s hand in marriage in exchange for Hera’s freedom and Aphrodite was forced into the marriage

You’d be surprised by how this isn’t even attested in ancient sources, rather it’s just a theory made by modern scholars bc of how spotty and limited our knowledge about this marriage is, let’s look at the actual sources:

Notice how Aphrodite isn’t even mentioned mentioned as the “prize”? Hephaestus does ask for a goddess in exchange for freeing Hera, but it’s not Aphrodite, it’s Athena. The usual course of events is this:

Hephaestus is angry at Hera for her mistreatment and sends a golden throne that traps her

The other gods try to persuade him to free her but he refuses

Dionysus convinces him by getting him drunk

Again the theory that Aphrodite was the prize for whoever gets Hephaestus to Olympus is just that, a theory. Not a really good one either bc wouldn’t Aphrodite be married to Dionysus instead? It’s a really shallow portrayal of all figures involved tbh, why would Ares only be interested in freeing his mother if it meant he gets to marry Aphrodite? Why would anyone on Olympus not be worried about their queen being chained up? Believe it or not but Hera isn’t as disliked as one would think lol

Now even if Aphrodite wasn’t a prize how did she end up marrying Hephaestus? And was she forced into doing it? No actually (Lucian’s Dialogue of the gods):

That’s not to say this wasn’t an arranged marriage (it most likely was) but arranged marriage and forced marriage are not the same thing. If you think this is a forced marriage then what about Cadmus and Harmonia? Heracles and Hebe? Both these marriages were arranged by Zeus but no one would claim they’re forced marriages.

2. Aphrodite hated Hephaestus

Now this is more open to interpretation, after all love is subjective, but to say they outright hated each other would be incorrect, there is this myth that Aphrodite cursed Lemnos to have the men abandon their wives and female family members, usually bc they neglected on worshipping her (tho a late Latin source says it’s revenge for exposing her affair).

Apollonius of Rhodes' Argonautica:

However this bit seems to be rather… genuine? Almost as if she might have truly felt bad for what she did and wanted to reconcile, sounds like someone with a deeply messy and complicated relationship with their partner, but not outright hate.

Also there is this moment in Lucian’s Dialogue of the Gods which is pretty funny:

3. Hephaestus only saw Aphrodite as property

Ok I don’t like using the “it was a different time” card but like… it really does apply here lol

Now we’ve already established that Aphrodite was never a prize for Hephaestus to begin with so what about the betrothal gifts he gave to Zeus? Obviously that means he was buying Aphrodite right?

Well, no actually this is a normal part of Ancient Greek marriage (obviously it varied between cities and time periods but it usually goes something like this), the father of the bride and the groom exchange gifts with each other to establish a bond between the two, the bride herself wasn’t the “gift” Zeus’s gift to Hephaestus was most likely his place on Olympus.

To say that Hephaestus bought Aphrodite would mean that Odysseus bought Penelope, or Hector bought Andromache, both are ludicrous claims.

4. Hephaestus is an incel and Ares is this big feminist icon

No, just… no.

Ares was never considered “the protector of women” in Ancient Greece that’s tumblr fanfiction and plenty of other ppl have made posts debunking this (including me) so I won’t repeat that here. Now about Hephaestus being an “incel” all the male Olympians have at least one story where they harm an innocent/defenseless woman, all of them, yes including Ares who persecuted Leto while she was heavily pregnant by Hera’s orders.

5. Aphrodite cheated to “regain her sexuality”

No Patrick, cheating on your disabled spouse with his brother in the bed and palace he made for you is not a girlboss move it’s being an asshole (all the gods are flawed, how thought provoking). Hell, even Zeus wouldn’t pull shit like this with Hera.

Aphrodite and Ares most likely did this hoping it would be the last place anyone would suspect an affair, since Aphrodite could’ve had sex with Ares in his own place or some meadow somewhere but that might cause ppl to be too suspicious.

6. Ares is a big dumb brute who can’t take a hint and only saw Aphrodite for her beauty

Believe it or not, just bc I criticize Aphrodite and Ares doesn’t mean I hate them lol. Now look, all the gods care deeply about looks but that’s not the only thing that Ares and Aphrodite love about each other. Here is Ares being a total simp and actually listening to her:

Iliad book 5

Thebaid book 3

7. Aphrodite felt neglected by Hephaestus bc he’s too busy at the forge

No lol, she straight up works with him at the forge, why wouldn’t she? If anything this claim makes Aphrodite even more shallow than she actually is.

8. Aphrodite and Ares didn’t care about being humiliated in the golden net and Ares straight up brags about cucking his brother

Yes I’ve heard such claims and no Ares and Aphrodite are actually capable of feeling shame lol, almost as if they were in the wrong. Also why would Ares actively antagonize the guy who makes all his stuff? Maybe that’s why Athena keeps beating his ass, bc Hephaestus purposely gives Ares shitty weapons and armor lol

Anyways umm… I think that’s it? Maybe I missed a few things bc I’m frustrated af rn

Just so y’all know, I’m not a scholar I’m just autistic and read a lot lol. I hope I didn’t miss something or get anything wrong.

Have a good day (or night).

[thingsphoenix21]

Aphrodite: And I was like why are you so obsessed with me? Hephaestus*chilling*: Who wouldn't be? Aphrodite*blushing*

[0lympian-c0uncil]

Aphrodite: Build a bear? Yeah I give my husband his T shots! I know how to build a bear~

Persephone: Call him build a bear the way I'm stuffing him and bringing him home!

[godsofhumanity]

Aphrodite: Personally, bad english is such a turn off for me. Hephaestus: You don't need to put "for me" after saying "personally".......

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Aphrodite: 🔨

Hephaestus: I don't think you understand how much I love you.

Aphrodite: Hamber

Hephaestus: Like.... It is.... Indescribable.

[standardlilith]

MY BABIES!!"!"!$+$;

[roserougefanee]

Hephaestus : Why do you hate me so much ?

Aphrodite : I do not hate you ! Besides, I like you !

Hephaestus : So why are you cheating on me like this ?

Aphrodite : He was hot!

[perish-the-creator]

Aphrodite: You'd have to be sick to look at THAT man and want to fuck him unironically. Aglaia: **uncontrollable coughing, wheezing, and gagging** Aphrodite: **grabs Hephaestus** Actually-

[wolfer13579]

Aphrodite: I wasn’t THAT drunk last night!

Athena: You were flirting with Hephaestus.

Aphrodite: So what? He’s my husband.

Athena: You asked him if he was single, then started crying when he said he wasn’t.

[wandalives]

Hephaestus, god of metalworking, the son of Hera, and Aphrodite, goddess of love, the daughter of Zeus, were married. Together, they were the parents of Eros, the god of love and sex.

Sansa Stark as Aphrodite and Tyrion Lannister as Hephaestus

[natiesims]

“Softer than a little wild bird's wing ; Are kisses that she pours upon my mouth.”

Aphrodite & Ares & Hephaestus theme by: @samssims Gorgeous room by @nexility-sims Poses @madebycoffee

[sarafangirlart]

It’s interesting how Hera refuses to divorce Zeus no matter how much he cheats but the millisecond Hephaestus found out Aphrodite cheated he divorced her. Learning from your parents flaws and mistakes to heal generational trauma me thinks.

[thingsphoenix21]

Hephaestus: I'm sorry... I-I'm probably just boring you with all of this metals facts. Aphrodite: No, no. I think it's cool. It's just your passionate it's just impressive to me... *Hephaestus blushes since no one ever listened*

[0lympian-c0uncil]

Hephaestus: Wow, you talk a lot.

Aphrodite: We’ve known each other for over 7 thousand years, married for 5 thousand of those and you just now figured that out?

[godsofhumanity]

Hermes: Dude, we shouldn't do this. I'm backing out. Dionysus: No, you can't back out! We owe this to Hephaestus! This guy banged Hephaestus' wife! Hermes: So did you..? Dionysus: Dionysus: Yeah, but that's different.

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Aphrodite: Did Ares just tell me he loves me for the first time? Haphaestus: Yeah, he did. Aphrodite: And did I just do finger guns back? Haphaestus: Yeah, you did.