#Artemis fowl fanfic

[unlucky-number-4]

I started reading a fanfic and the immersion was immediately broken as the author referred to Mary Jane's (shoes) as Mary Sues. it is 4 in the morning I CANNOT BE LAUGHING AT THIS

[deliah-the-writer]

The writers info

heyyyy! I'm deliah, and I write shite now! Here are some infos about me and my fanfics:

About me:

I'm a minor, so all nsfw/ explicit asks will be deleted and probably blocked.

I post on quotev too, under the name Ravengal49

I go by she/her, but I don't mind if anyone calls me they/ them either.

I own various rp accounts ( @goddess-of-bubblegum @smart-girl-diana @rosie-the-fashonista-prankster @zoe-aura-of-d3ath @little-birdie-cass ) on multiple fandoms

Tag under fanfics= deliah has written

Tag to mention me @deliah-the-writer

About this blog:

Anon/ regular asks fir requests and ideas for fanfics welcome!

I'll mainly write for Artemis fowl, percy jackson and epic the musical

I'll do: oneshots, fanfics, oc x character, character x character, reader × character

Fanfics I'll post here:

A TRAGEDY TURNED COMEDY :

A pjo x epic the musical crossover

[More to continue]

Moots, welcome back! @sillypuppetmeister @demigod-jack-hearth @braydons-world @thefallenwaxwinged @bast-the-best26 @reyna4ever

[geek-22]

Okay, for my skullduggery Pleasant, Artemis Fowl crossover I'm considering Azriel Rune for Artemis's chosen name

Thoughts? It's got a similar ring to it

[weeinterpreter]

Part 6. All is Revealed.

What’s a Trope Bingo?

What’s the Evil Association of Evil Villains?

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5][Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8]

Artemis swallowed. 

"Don't move, Butler," he ordered. It wasn't the best thing to tell a bodyguard. Butler's hand twitched. Several more red dots appeared on the bodyguard's face and chest.

"I'd listen to the boy, if I was you," a voice said from the shadows. Artemis and Butler turned to the familiar woman, stepping into the dimly lit reading room. It was the librarian. Except whereas she had been a mousy bookworm with dull and baggy clothes in the afternoon, she now sported a bloodred figure-hugging suit.

Artemis cleared his throat. "There seems to be a misunderstanding."

"Really? To me, it looks like you tried to break into my library to steal a book."

Two more people joined in the reading room. A gangly man with wide-rimmed glasses pushed a boy forward, a shotgun pushed between his shoulder blades. Artemis' eyes widened when he recognised the boy.

"You?"

The boy looked around with wide eyes. 

"Where am I?"

The librarian stemmed her hands on her hips.

"Really?"

The boy shrugged. "Sleepwalker. It's a horrible condition and-"

"And a lie. Don't play games with me, Alex."

Alex stopped himself, paling at the familiar address. The librarian pushed her hands into the pockets of her tailor-made suit, her cool demeanour returning.

"Yes, I know your name. Knowledge is everything, my dear Alex. Something that would have kept you from getting into trouble."

She gave the man behind Alex a nod, turning to the stairs. 

"Follow me. You can try to flee, of course. In which case, Mr Iljitsch will shoot you in the back. He or the sharpshooters I have positioned throughout the library."

Artemis placed a hand on his bodyguard's arm.

"We'll follow. No need for violence."

The librarian looked over her shoulder and gave him a knowing smile.

"How lovely." 

***

The librarian and her henchmen manoeuvred Alex, Artemis, and Butler to the back of a jeep, keeping them separated from the driver with a darkened screen. A one-way mirror, no doubt about it.

Butler wasn't too worried, despite their captors driving in circles and turning at seemingly every corner. They weren't trained. They hadn't even frisked him. He was still armed and had his personal tracker hidden inside the left sole of his shoe. Arno would easily track them down.

Eventually, they stopped. Butler had to keep himself from rolling his eyes as they were led through an empty warehouse. Such a cliche. He wondered if there would be chains hanging from the wall somewhere. 

Two giant steel doors at the end of the warehouse separated it from another smaller room. It was just as bare, save for three chairs and the hall's back wall, filled with rows and rows of computers, all sending and receiving a plethora of information. 

Butler sighed. The sound reverberated in the space like the sneeze of an elephant in a mausoleum. 

The librarian turned back with a frown.

"You find my lair ridiculous?"

Butler shrugged. "Cliche."

"Do you know what this is?" the librarian asked, pointing up.

Butler, as well as Alex and Artemis, followed her finger and looked at... 

"Books?" Butler asked.

The librarian's frown turned into a grin.

"Indeed. Suspended above your heads are, in fact, 2 tons of books. 1000 copies of War and Peace. Some heavy stuff, isn't it?"

She laughed at her own joke. Her henchmen joined in.

"Are you planning to kill us now?" Artemis asked once their laughter died down.

Butler groaned, but she only chuckled, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Is that what you villains usually do with your prisoners? How diabolical,” she said as she bent over a keyboard, sending out commands. "I need you to get off my back for a bit."

"Then why are we here?"

The librarian leaned against the console, crossing her arms over her maroon suit jacket.

"Your little shenanigans were impeding our progress. First, the almost brainwashing of the entire planet. Then the almost volcano eruption. Then the almost poisoning of the drinking water. You wannabe villains are truly busy."

Butler frowned. "Are you also villains?"

The librarian scoffed. "Geez, of course not. We're the Association of Librarians."

Butler knitted his eyebrows, but he couldn't place this Association. He had heard of the Association of Evil Actors, the Association of Evil Whisky Drinkers, even the Association of Evil Coffee Drinkers, but Librarians? That one was new. 

Regardless, they needed to distract the librarians for a little while longer until Arno arrived. All he needed to do was to ask a few questions to keep the librarian engaged. Standard procedure.

"Is the Association of Librarians part of the Evil Leprechaun Coven?"

The librarian glared, but before she could answer, a white cat sprinted into the room. Following her was Opal Koboi. And following her, albeit slower, was Jon.

"No, Diamond!" Opal screamed, as the cat jumped into the arms of the librarian. "Don't run to the evil woman!"

"Diamond?" The librarian made a disapproving sound and stroked the cat's fur. "Her name is Mata Hari,” she said and noticing the understanding dawning on Artemis' face, the corners of her mouth turned up. "Much better suited, wouldn't you say?"

Her henchmen pointed their weapons at the newly arrived villains, who had the decency to look ashamed.

"We have run out of chairs, but please make yourself at home," the librarian said.

"What's your plan, then?" Butler asked through gritted teeth. "World domination?"

"I'd rather call it a new world order."

Alex snorted.

"Let me guess. Everybody has to bow to you, the new Queen of the World?"

The woman scoffed. "I'm not interested in power, boy. I want the world to pick up books again, rather than wasting their time on social media. I want to educate the world."

Now Alex laughed. "You want to get rid of social media? How?"

The librarian straightened with a sigh.

"Do you like your social media, Alex? Friendstagram, Chirper, ClickClack? Do you surf the internet?"

Alex nodded cautiously.

"What would you do to access these platforms? To open the internet?"

Alex didn't answer, and the librarian turned towards the screens again. "Launch the program, Mr Foaly."

Artemis chuckled. "I see."

Butler lifted an eyebrow. "You do?"

"It's actually quite clever, although not very diabolical."

The librarian inclined her head. "That's why we are the Association of Librarians. Note the missing Evils in the name?”

Alex groaned. "Can somebody please tell me what the plan is?"

"As soon as the program has launched,” the woman explained with a glint in her eyes, "everybody who wants to go online has to solve questions. Anything from General Knowledge to Quantum Physics. If you and your friends want to spend your time watching silly dance challenges or, even worse, compete in them, you'll have to study first. Quite ingenious, if you think about it."

Butler blinked. "That's it?"

Artemis shook his head. "I told you. Not very diabolical. Your plan has a major flaw, though. I know the answer to any question you could ever ask me."

"Who directed Some Like it Hot?"

Artemis opened his mouth. And closed it again. The librarian smirked. She tapped the side of her head.

"Knowledge."

Butler shook his head. "And who decides the type of questions?"

"I'll choose them depending on progression tests as well as the history of consulted books and learning materials."

"Isn't that a violation of my privacy?" Butler asked.

"Looks to me like you are not not evil," Alex chimed in.

The librarian shrugged. "Perhaps I'm not. A good leader sometimes has to utilise force if it's for the good of the people."

"Machiavelli?" Artemis asked. The librarian beamed.

"Very good, Artemis. Keep it up, maybe you can join the Association."

"So, what will happen to us?"

The librarian crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Once we have launched, you can go. Now, if you'll excuse me. I have to do a speech.”

She was almost out of the room when she turned around once more.

"Oh, and one more thing."

She gave Butler an almost apologetic look. "I really didn't want to do this, but it was necessary."

To be continued.

[me-fangirlingxxx]

Should I finish my Artemis Fowl X Doctor Who WIP???

[a-strange-brain]

“Enemies to lovers” this “enemies to lovers” that. I raise to you:

ENEMIES TO FOUND FAMILY

[actually-ao3]

artemis fowl is asexual

[valhelos]

It isn't a journal entry but have Fowl siege text messages between Root and Vinyáya.

[haveyoureadthisfanfic]

Summary: Two months after his father disappeared into the Arctic and one week after the damnable lemur incident, Artemis Angeline Fowl II cut his hair, burned his dresses, and began studying fairy tales. To get what you want, you have to give everything else up first. And Artemis Fowl has always been willing to sacrifice it all to get what he wants.

Author: @yellowocaballero

Note from submitter: @nymm-of-night

[themundanemudperson]

i wanna go back and reread the first fic i ever read, for the nostalgia, yknow?

but i also know that the fic was very, very bad. i don't want to have to take off the rose coloured glasses

[fortisloid]

also i wrote a thing!

come on arty let's go party!

[unlucky-number-4]

You ever read a fanfic so good you want to make fanfic for the fanfic?

Because that's me with this.

[bewitched-forest]

WIP ASK & TAG GAME

Ahahaha! @gremlin-bot, my beloved spouse, tagged me in this. I am terrified cause I've got some wild ones bouncing around here. Anyways~

RULES: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs. 1. How to Fowl a Bat

2. Formula for a Crime Scene

3. The Rebirth of Tim Drake

4. Now We're Stuck Here to Decay

5. Under Guiding Star-Lit Sky, We Will Learn How to Say Goodbye

6. Hellblazer Tim x DP

7. Danny Phantom & Batman in The Mystery of the Mystery Kids

8. Cryptology of Caross I'm tagging: @half-dead-ham @precarious-hermit @disillusioneddanny

[geek-22]

If anyone wants updates on how purgatory is going, um... I'm deciding how much chaos I want.

I deleted most of a scene cuz I didn't like it but I WILL WRITE this chapter if it KILLS ME.

Apparently, John Constantine is going to be in it, who knew

Anyway! It's well underway!

Feel free to DM me about if you want by the way!

[weeinterpreter]

Part 7. The thing about brackets.

What’s a Trope Bingo?

What’s the Evil Association of Evil Villains?

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5][Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8]

A shadow fell over the librarian as she spoke. She stepped to the side.

Butler felt it even before he saw it. His heartbeat increased as manic giggling accompanied the figure, stepping into the light. It was a huge clown. And he was armed.

"Please make sure they don't leave while I'm gone, Vincent," the librarian said. 

Vincent cackled and loaded his shotgun.

"A clown?” Alex laughed. "How is he going to stop us?"

Butler breathed through his nose. He wanted to laugh it off, too. It was a man in a clown costume. There was nothing to be afraid of. It wasn't even the same one. He knew all this. Then he glanced at the clown and felt his hands go sweaty.

Suddenly, he was eight years old again. The strongest eight-year-old there was. He was invincible. Felt like it, anyway. He'd soon learn that no eight-year-old would stand a chance against a full-grown adult with an axe in his hands. The smell of the shrill screams, the sound of the metallic blood rose around him like the walls of an impenetrable fortress. It was all in the past. And so was the trembling child, praying fervently that someone would come and save him.

Artemis grimaced as he tried to move his wrists.

"Butler, anytime now, get us out of this mess," he hissed. "If you couldn't tell, I'm in discomfort, something I pay you to get me out of."

Butler only stared at the chuckling clown. Surely coming up with a plan to rescue them all. He could have at least acknowledged him, though. Artemis turned his attention to the boy, who was tied up next to him.

"I suggest you let my bodyguard take care of the situation," he said.

Alex threw him a sour look, but didn't answer. Misinterpreting it, Artemis felt a jab of annoyance and the urge to straighten his tie that he knew was immaculate.

"Judging from your look, my criminal endeavours disgust you."

Alex snorted. "As far as I'm informed, all your criminal endeavours are hardly successful. That lady is a bigger criminal than your whole association combined."

Artemis couldn't decide if he wanted to point out all his successful missions first or find out how Alex knew about the association. He decided on the latter.

"Your association is interested in us, then?"

"For some reason," Alex said through gritted teeth.

"We can't be that unsuccessful then," Artemis said confidently.

"No," Alex spat out. "The MI6 thought you all so inept at committing a crime, they were more worried that you might succeed by sheer idiocy. We actually thought you had somehow messed up the Internet by accident."

Taken aback by the outburst, Artemis frowned. "Well, we didn't and your anger seems a tad inappropriate."

Red spots of anger appeared on Alex's face, but he kept his voice low. "You're such an idiot."

"Actually, my IQ is higher than Albert Ein-"

Before Artemis could finish, two things happened. First, a bang. Then the crumble of stone. And then…

***

Arno Blunt was many things. He was big, and mean, and deadly. He was a professional. One thing he wasn't, was subtle, though. It was the reason he failed to win the scholarship at university. It was the reason he didn't know how to talk to Sid Commons. And definitely the reason the events in the warehouse went down the way they did.

It didn't take him long to locate and find Butler after he didn't return from the nightly… whatever he did. Arno didn't really care. What he did care was having to pause his favourite podcast on gravitational waves just as it was about to get interesting. The giant man parked his truck with a grunt and jogged to the warehouse. He went to the back and, climbing onto some empty barrels, easily jumped to the ledge of the second storey. After shimmying through a half-open window, it was only a matter of minutes to pinpoint where his fellow villains were.

Sneaking along the metal gangway, high above all the chaos, he was tempted to pinch himself. Surely, he was dreaming. There was no chance a ridiculous clown with a shotgun would antagonise Opal Koboi and Jon Spiro (how did they get there in the first place?), Artemis Fowl and Butler (the Butler), and a random blonde teenager.

Villains. You just couldn't let them out of your sight for five minutes.

Looking around his vantage point, Arno focussed in on the huge number of books suspended in the air. He could tell that the ropes holding them up were industry grade. No point in trying to cut them. Cable brackets, on the other hand, were a notorious wild card in construction. One wrong hit, and the entire building would crumble. Arno learned that the hard way during a stint in Bangkok in 1993. What had started as a scare tactic ended up with the collapse of the hotel complex. Time to see if he could pull it off again. Drawing his pistol, Arno aimed and shot.

And then…

***

Vincent, the clown, stopped giggling to look up. The last thing he ever saw was the ornate decorations of a thousand copies of War and Peace coming at him at an incredibly rapid pace.

***

Arno jumped off the ledge, ignoring Artemis' glare as he loosened his ties.

"May I remind you that this stunt was highly dangerous?" Artemis said in a clipped tone.

"How so?" Arno asked.

"If your calculations had been wrong, this copy," Artemis said, pointing at the book that had landed a hair width away from his foot, "would have hit me in the head. Next time, I suggest you consult me before you decide to kill us all." 

Arno shrugged, swaggering over to Butler to punch him on the shoulder. 

"We'll have to have a talk about those clowns, mate," he murmured under his breath. Butler gave him a sharp nod, busying himself with freeing Opal and Jon. Artemis, in the meantime, inspected the wall of computers before he began typing furiously on the main keyboard.  

Alex jogged over, watching him silently, until Artemis made a disappointed sound.

"What is it?" 

"The program has already advanced too far to be stopped, but…"

Alex kept glancing from the screen to the pale boy with a quizzical look. "But?"

"But I could probably change its target protocol to stream another outcome–"

Arno, who had come over as well, slapped a hand on the console. "Okay, in English would be good, smarty pants."

"Instead of knowledge questions, I can prompt something else to be displayed," Artemis explained. "Are you following, Mr Blunt?"

The giant nodded. "Hey, I understood that. So, what are you waiting for? Change it."

Artemis rolled his eyes. "Would that I could. It needs to be something that someone with a pea brain can understand. Any suggestions, Mr Blunt?"

"How about the time I need to bash your face in, kiddo?" Arno snarled.

"Recognising landmarks?" Alex interjected, while Butler held Arno back. "Or objects?"

Artemis considered it. "I don't have any pictures and it would take too long to download them from the internet."

Opal held up her phone. "What about these pictures I have of Diamond? I've got tons."

"That could work," Artemis murmured.

To be concluded.

[me-fangirlingxxx]

His Weak Point

Summary: I got bored and thought about this scenario where Holly and Butler are trying to convince Artemis with something, but he wouldn’t budge, so Butler uses the secret weapon which is…. Sophias pout..

———————————————

For the weekend, Holly, Butler and their relatively new friend Sophia, are gathered in Artemis’ study to discuss this new “mission” that their genius friend dragged them into.

Apparently there have been some alarming actions that have taken place at some institution in America and Artemis is convinced that it could be a potential threat to the People. His plan was solid and backed with evidence. As always.

However, his friends are worried about a certain man named Louis Cain, one of the founders for said institution. Butler wants a more in-depth background check “I smell something fishy” he said. Artemis didn’t know what fish had to do with their situation, but looked passed it saying he did all the research possible and that Louis was just a clueless decoy. Unfortunately for Artemis, Holly and Sophia were on Butlers side, but he didn’t budge and stood his ground, confident in his work.

After all, Artemis Fowl the second rarely missed a piece of info in his researches no matter how small. Right?

“I trust him, but I’m still not convinced..” said Butler from his standing place by Artemis’ desk after he left the room “Holly, any ideas?”

“I’m with you, but I’m also empty handed” answered Holly crossing her arms while sitting on top of the backrest of an armchair…

“Artemis can see reason, but he’s also pretty stubborn” Sophias statement drew a chuckle out of Holly. Captain Short liked this new girl, but nothing really seemed to surprise her anymore since her adventures in space and fighting aliens. Holly envied her for it sometimes, but she’s also fresh out of death wishes after everything she went through in the past years.

“I have an idea!” Said the bodyguard suddenly “enlighten us” told him Holly. Butler didn’t elaborate any further, he just looked at Sophia who was sitting on the couch with a rare smirk on his face..

Holly was confused and so was Sophia, but not for long before shock and then disgust painted her face.

Sophia crossed her arms and looked away “no way in hell!” She exclaimed. “Come on Soph!” Said Butler, using the nickname he and their Time Lord friend adopted for her. Artemis thought it was ridiculous to shorten someones name like that (apart from what his mother calls him but he wouldn’t admit it).

“I said no! It weirds me out and makes me feel…thing” countered Sophia

“But you know it’s affective on him”

“What? What is it?!” Holly was growing curious and impatient really quickly..

Sophia closed her eyes and took a deep breath as if convincing her self “ok…here goes nothing..” Holly was still confused so she looked at her friend for and an explanation, but all Butler served her was a wink and a thumbs up. Well, if he says so.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting” Artemis spoke walking into the room with three files in his hands “worked on these last night for you to take a look at. I know digitally would have been better, but written is just a preference of mine” he told them handing the files “yeah we know” said Holly looking through hers.

Artemis went about their plan about stopping and possibly eliminating the American institution and by the end, and before he concluded their brief meeting “any questions?” He asked..

“Yeah I have one..” said Sophia raising her hand like she needs permission to speak, an adorable habit Artemis thought of it.

Holly was on the edge of her seat, or her seats backrest for that matter, what could Sophia possibly say or do?

“Why can’t we just investigate this Louis man more? You might never know, it could helpful..” she said Artemis crossed his arms “as I said, I already did my thorough research on everyone there and he’s useless to say the least” he answered.

Holly didn’t what was this “idea” that Butler implied until..

A frown appeared on Sophias face and she..pouted?!

Sophia was pouting at him and then looked away like a child that got denied opening their birthday presents before the cake.

Artemis uncrossed his arms, sighed a long one and a smile crept on his face “alright..” he said “..a take another look, but no promises” Sophia smiled at him.

Holly looked at Butler as she tried to holed her jaw together and saw him holding a laugh. Captain Short thought if she did what Sophia did right now at any given moment in her long life and Artemis’ humanly short one, he would probably comment about how childish she is acting.

At the end of it all and while Holly was ready to fly out of here back to her home underground, Butler whispered to her “he didn’t realise it yet”