#BLOCKED actually

[theyoungwclf]

how do you think theon would react to seeing a dragon

[lovelyhan]

Count me in i had a dream where im in a relationship w toxic shua and were having gREAT SEx but eventually broke up only to end up w his best friend hannie WHO BECAME THE SWEETEST boyfriend (hes very nonchalant in my dream btw just perfect for my taste 🦭) ….. yeah and he’s a virgin and everything so i get to teach him stuff 🤪 i loved what was happening until i fucked everything up i hate it so much why was gyu in my dream as well i lost every self control in my body and cheated on hannie T^T (PLS HANNIE ONE CHANCE IRL I WOULD NEVER DO THIS TO U) i didnt get to know what happened next bc my dog woke me up hes barking so loud 🤦🏼‍♀️ anw bye kai i hope u’ll have a great day <3333

so you're telling me you had an entire fanfic ass dream about my bias line 😐

[bebx]

*me, checking my own AO3 account to see if I have posted any new fic I’ve been waiting for yet*

[cookiesnpaste]

Oh Marcille... Save me Marcille.... Lord of the dungeon.....

[noka-exe]

breaking news… local bird comes back to life and is NOT happy…

[keferon]

Don’t mind me I just like to see him go bananas about cartoonish Autobot rules

Maaan…..if Prowl was in tfp he would spontaneously combust at least once a day

[hamletthedane]

My conspiracy theory is that one of the reasons they fired Stephanie J. Block for the role of Elphaba in 2000 and replaced her with Idina Menzel at the end of the OBC workshops is because SJB played the role SO gay that it was quickly crossing the line of plausible deniability. Like she doesn't seem to be able to help herself.

And thank god she eventually got to play the role on Broadway (arguably one of the best - if not THE best - actresses who ever did), because we finally got to see her get super fucking handsy and stare lovingly into Glinda's eyes inches away from her face for three hours:

Like holy shit why do you keep looking at Annaleigh Ashford like you want to eat her alive??

Plus I cannot emphasize enough just how effective and moving this particular version of For Good is. Straight up feels like wedding vows.

(Ironically, she also has the best chemistry with Fiyero's character, and arguably the very sweetest performance of As Long As You're Mine in the entire slime tutorial universe.* So I'm just reading this as a Thropple Truther performance.)

*But that's just because she was (and still is) literally married to him. So they get uh. A little carried away in their performance. *cut to Sebastian Arcelus holding lantern up, his face covered in green makeup from aggressively making out with his wife on stage for several minutes* Apparently the makeup team HATED that song for them.

[catwouthats]

Wade: *giggling over the fact Logan uses pet names for him*

Logan: Holy shit, I need to find out this guy’s name. I can’t keep calling him Bub….

[jaytalking]

The number one Perirep hater: Timmy Fairywinkle-Cosma.

[rosieyart]

the hikoma of pain and suffering

[bluesbats]

ive been trying to get over art block and it’s been so horrible ALSO THIS IS ON PROCREATE SO ITS ESPECIALLY HORRIBLE 💔

[hootyhoowoo]

Craning just a little, Shen Qingqiu looked past the lord’s shoulder.

Luo Binghe stared down one of the most powerful cultivators in the human world, and scoffed. His lips twisted into a smile that was anything but happy. Shen Qingqiu’s heart stuttered - though maturity had given his former apprentice’s features grace and refinement, they were of course still familiar to him. But he hadn’t ever seen such an expression on them before. It was the kind of look that taunted the person across from it, as if to say ‘come pick a fight with me - I’ll enjoy watching you lose’.

The bolt of heat it shot right through him was entirely inappropriate, and he immediately decided to pretend that it never happened.

-

‘I Wish You Were My Husband’ -by Feynite Chapter 4

[bebx]

unfortunately, I will write this fic and I am writing this fic are two very different things

[that1notetaker]

Unnatural World Disaster x Love & Peace. You'll never guess which is which

[sunsburns]

i think ur oral fixation surprises both you and joaquin when you take his dog tags into ur mouth and suck on them. they're just dangling in your face how could you ever resist

oh my god?? my jaw is on the floor. this is insane. i love it. (18+)

it wasn’t like you could stop yourself.

you were already a little out of it—joaquín had been treating you too good all night. from dinner, where he played footsie with you under the table until your heel slid just a little too high, leaving him red-faced, to the way he kissed you against the door before you could even get your keys out. and now, after everything, after he’s had you gasping and writhing beneath him, you’re both wrecked and breathless, tangled together in the sheets, his weight pressing you into the mattress as his hips roll against yours.

it’s a sweet pace, a little sloppy, his rhythm faltering as his body trembles. he’s close. you can tell by the way his huffs turn into short, needy whines.

joaquín loves missionary, loves looking at you, touching you. but right now, his eyes are squeezed shut, brows furrowed tight as his fingers tangle in your hair, cupping your jaw like he can’t bear to let go.

every thrust rocks you against the mattress, the old frame creaking beneath you both. the headboard knocks against the wall in time with your moans, the wet, desperate sounds between you filling the room. and over it all, there’s the soft, steady clinking of his dog tags.

your gaze drops from his face to the chain hanging around his neck. the tags sway with every movement, catching the faint light from the window, gleaming silver against the tan of his chest. it’s distracting, the way they dangle just above your lips, taunting you. you don’t think—just act—lifting your head as he drives particularly deep, parting your lips so the tags graze your skin, clinking against your teeth before you take them fully into your mouth.

it takes joaquín exactly two seconds to notice.

the slight tug at his neck drags him forward, and his eyes flutter open, hazy and unfocused at first until he sees—

oh.

a shudder wrecks through him, his hips stuttering to a halt as a deep, broken groan spills past his lips. he stares down at you, panting, his dog tags resting on your tongue, your lips wrapped around the cool metal. you stare back, never breaking eye contact as you flatten your tongue against them, tracing over the engraved letters of his name and military rank. captain torres.

the taste is sharp, bitter and metallic, and you moan around it, letting the sound vibrate against the chain. his hand tightens in your hair, fingers flexing.

"qué… qué haces?" joaquín rasps, voice wrecked, thick with something he doesn’t fully understand yet. his brows knit together, but the heat in his gaze betrays him.

you hum around the tags, sucking lightly before letting them drag against your lips as you pull back just enough to murmur, "couldn’t help it. they were just… there."

joaquín lets out a choked noise, somewhere between a curse and a groan, his grip on you tightening. he presses his forehead against yours, exhaling shakily.

"dios mío…"

his breath is hot against your skin, his chest heaving, but you don’t let up. you close your lips around the tags again, sucking, a little filthier this time, pulling him down with you. his chain tugs against the back of his neck, making him swallow hard. his hips jerk forward on instinct, and you sigh through your nose at the way his cock fills you again, deeper than before.

joaquín doesn’t even try to hold back his groan this time. his fingers tighten around your hand beside your head, gripping like it’s the only thing grounding him. then your nails scrape against his scalp, urging him on.

that does it.

he snaps his hips forward, rutting into you with a newfound urgency, his rhythm completely wrecked. the bed creaks louder, his moans slip freer, and you’re right there with him.

he’s never going to be able to wear these without thinking about this moment again.

[corgiteatime]

I love seeing people call whatever is going on between Astarion and Gale as "toxic old man yaoi."

Because if you told them about it, Gale would look sad and say, "Toxic is a bit of a strong word. Everyone in this group has their own issues and-"

Meanwhile, the 200+ year old vampire shaking with rage behind him would shriek, "OLD?!?!?!"