#Bullet Point Tag

[3-2-whump]

Bullet Point Tag Game

The rules: Summarize your story in fifteen 2-5 word bullet points (as though you were trying to summarize it in fifteen seconds).

Since I have only one work (for now), I’ll be referencing Eternal

Thanks for the tag @generic-whumperz

No pressure tag: @bamber344 @melpomenelamusa @defire @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @scarletfish8eta and anyone else who sees this and thinks ‘I could do this!’

At the risk of missing any themes or potential symbols or life lessons, I took the easy route and just did the plot summary 🙃🫠

• Mourning? Buy a kid!

• Promoted? Buy a kid!

• Have trauma ™️? Buy a kid and traumatize them too!

• Daddy? Not Daddy

• I want what you cannot give me (or, I want what you refuse to give me)

• You mean my boss lied to me?!

• Hola 😏

• Oh shit, you almost died

• Oh shit, I almost died

• Murder? Murder.

• Buy Yourself Free ™️ a 20-year program

• Fuck you; no fuck you!

• Oh shit, I almost died (again)!

• Early Onset Stockholm Syndrome

• Run, bitch!!!

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Bullet Point Tag

I was tagged by @willtheweaver for this :D

And I'll tag, if you feel like doing it: @cc-writes-stuff and @writingphoenix and an open tag!

This one's for All of our Lives:

Aw they're so cute

She's dead

No, she's not

Ow

Oh gods, now she's dead

Thank the gods, she's not

… or?

Well THOSE are really dead

More ow

Oats

Murder (stabby edition)

I'm sure NOW she's dead

Spoiler, she's not

Super duper ow

More oats

More murder (poison edition)

Even more murder (accident edition)

A bit ow

The kids fight

No murder

Is he dead???

The kids make up

Oats, but with flavor

The real whump is trying to find a job and affordable housing

Also, the panic attacks

The End

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @theink-stainedfolk!

Bullet Point Tag

Describe your wip in bullet points

This is basically just my outline for Starbreaker lol

Mineshaft gun shoots dead people straight into space for the pursuit of science ☝️

Anarac has a panic attack pt.1

Freshman gen ed icebreaker

Alien dirt autism

Oh shit none of these people can fight

Anarac has a panic attack pt.2

B.S. the card game ported directly into fantasy

Man overboard!

A peek into the mind of your average dnd murderhobo

Dumpling quest

Yes, please let this man with a dissociation problem supervise four chucklefucks in a casino

The consequences of the previous chapter

Craft night!

Scientific debate, lesbian flirting, who's to say?

Indiana Jones, but no one knows what tf they're doing and also there's skinny dipping

Anarac has a panic attack pt.3 but he's working on it

Music night!

The eldritch horrors start horroring

It's prison planet time!

Oh yeah Nyda actually is a famous scientist, forgot about that

Tokyo drifting a galleon through space 🔥🎸💯

Ngl I haven't plotted past this point

I'll tag @mk-writes-stuff @jev-urisk @wyked-original-writing @darlingplanetary @vesanal and anyone else who wants in <3

[generic-whumperz]

Bullet Point Tag Game

The rules: Summarize your story in fifteen 2-5 word bullet points (as though you were trying to summarize it in fifteen seconds).

Thanks for the tag @mj-iza-writer!

No pressure (& open!!) tag: @3-2-whump @whumped-by-glitter @whumpty-dumpty-doo @whumpyourdamnpears @pirefyrelight

We aren’t surprised that this is for the only thing I got going for me, The Aid:

Enter bitcoin, make boy scream

War-ravaged post-apocalyptic world

Boy sells freedom for family

Escaping doesn’t equal freedom

Sealed fate, but stay hopeful

Radioactive diseased cannibals, survival horror

Buy Now: Mystic Oracle caregiver

Corrupt system, underground rebellion

Betrayal, resilience, and revenge

Hot, ripped apocalypse swamp daddy

“Chebon/sha/cher”

Bad, badder, and baddest

Found family in unexpected places

Cover your tracks and run

Drugs, money, blood, power, empire

*(“Daddy” cause he got hella kids, I’m not being weird, I promise)

[writingphoenix]

Bullet Point Tag

Thank you for the tag @i-can-even-burn-salad!

I will no pressure tag @tildeathiwillwrite, @mj-iza-writer, and open tag if you feel like doing this!

The rules: Summarize your story in fifteen 2-5 word bullet points (as if you were trying to summarize it in fifteen seconds).

I decided to do this for my story which is currently untitled but is called Brinnande in my WIP folder.

they're friends in high school

she's hiding pyrokinesis

they think he's hiding it

they kidnap him

she asks trainers for help

they say no (too risky)

she tries to find him

success (several weeks later)

he's not in good condition

they escape

they are followed

big fire fight

they survive (severely injured)

secrets are revealed

happily ever after (for now)

[space-writes]

bullet point tag

tagged by @willtheweaver, thank you! I’ve not done this for Obsession yet, I don’t think, so here we go! (ignoring the word limit on the bullets a bit because. im having fun)

Rules: Summarize your WIP in 15 2-5 word bullet points (as if you are trying to summarize it in 15 seconds)

[ID - a red decorative divider]

the love language is stalking

Vizaeth’s no good terrible horrible very bad day (the series)

vivisection, but make it sexy

being horny for Lolth in a Goddess-honouring way

imitation is the most unsettling form of flattery

the consent has always been dubious

blood magic is fun!

self harm is self care

transgender body horror

spiders…sexy, actually?

local drow has identity crisis: this is now everyone’s problem

chew toy protagonist

OC x canon but fucked up

This Is Your Brain On Dysphoria

the student/teacher aspect is the least problematic thing here

[ID - a red decorative divider]

no-pressure tagging @talesofsorrowandofruin @ceph-the-ghost-writer @monstrify and @zmwrites

Obsession taglist: @foxboyclit (ask to be +/-)

[ninthprime]

now that hxh is officially coming back here's my attempt to count how many plots are going on at once right now

a plot: the kakin royal family, joined by beyond netero, has chartered an expedition to the forbidden dark continent on a huge whale ship with thousands of civilians. the hunter association signed on to join with the plan of actually sending the ship to a fake “new continent”, dropping off the family and civilians there, and then continuing to the real continent. the problem is the king of kakin is also using this expedition to force his fourteen (legitimate) children into a death match, with the survivor as heir

b plot: kurapika has discovered that kakin’s fourth prince tserriednich is in possession of the remaining scarlet eyes and, in order to get close to him, has signed on as a bodyguard to the fourteenth prince, baby woble, and her mom queen oito. as it turns out all the princes have autonomous nen beasts so this is a more complicated job than it looks. by which i mean at one point he gave up a substantial part of his life to possess a cockroach

c plot: to get more specific, kurapika has been trying to keep the peace by inviting the servants and bodyguards of the other princes to come to nen classes taught by him (read: he and fellow bodyguard bill are just forcibly opening their nen abilities), but a mysterious nen construct called “silent majority” killed most of woble’s other servants and now keeps killing people in the classes. there are apparently multiple people who can use nen in the classes already and who are mostly not telling him.

d plot: the three big mafia families of kakin (the hei-ly, xi-yu and cha-r) have been invited onto the ship mostly because their leaders are all illegitimately related to the king and been told to not cause any trouble…but the king’s illegitimate daughter morena, the new leader of the hei-ly and certified #gamergirl, actively wants to the destroy the world and is breaking the peace by spreading nen to her followers using her ability and letting them gain “levels” by killing people on the ship.

e plot: the phantom troupe has shown up knowing that hisoka will have followed them here and are trying to track him down and kill him. they’ve split into groups and the only group we’ve followed- phinks, feitan and nobunaga- have teamed up with the xi-yu and cha-r to deal with both hisoka and morena. during this we get an extended flashback about how the phantom troupe used to be tween anime dubbers and originally became criminals to track down those who killed their friend.

f plot: unbeknownst to the phantom troupe, the xi-yu’s underboss hinrigh has already met with hisoka (or at least someone who looks a lot like him) and given him a passage to the top level, where the royal family is, because the mafia knows a fight against hisoka will be more trouble than it’s worth while also trying to stop morena. in other words: hisoka is going to where kurapika is

g plot: tserriednich, the previously mentioned guy with the eyes, is also a misogynist serial killer and has gotten interested in nen, so his bodyguard theta has decided to teach him nen herself in order to slow him down and potentially stop him. unfortunately he’s a nen genius and has already developed an ability that lets him see into the future and overwrite reality by reacting accordingly, which he used to get out of theta shooting him. his nen beast has now marked theta for lying to him twice and will make her “no longer human” if she lies a third time.

h plot: melody, hired to be here by kurapika, attempted to sneak the teenage twin tenth and eleven princes off the ship only for the tenth prince (and the other hunter she was working with) to be killed, revealing the princes cannot leave the ship. thankfully the tenth prince kacho’s nen beast is basically her ghost. melody is now likely going to have to deal with an investigation into her actions and has also noticed that eleventh prince fugetsu is rapidly having her nen depleted. kaiser, a member of the justice bureau, claims to have fallen in love with melody after she performed her music for the ship and intends to help her, but melody doesn’t trust him and thinks he’s using manipulation nen on himself. oh and a large amount of the princes have invited her to perform for them, including tserriednich.

i plot: first prince benjamin, a nen user, has control of the military and has used his customary status as firstborn to send one of his guards to each of his younger siblings, which in at least one case led to a successful kill (the eighth prince). he’s in lockdown currently however because second prince camilla, also a nen user with an extremely powerful ability that seems to prevent her from being killed, attempted to kill him herself, and the justice bureau on the ship is trying to figure out who started what.

j plot: camilla has a group of ultra-loyal guards from the lower caste who have developed nen curses to kill her siblings in exchange for their own deaths. their captain, sarahell, has been developing a curse on woble and intends to attend kurapika’s class to deploy it.

k plot: ninth prince halkenburg, a baby marxist who progressive civilians and the younger princes both see as a potential savior, tried to kill his father and then himself after the first death in the succession battle and got stopped by nen beasts both times. he has responded to this by going apeshit and developing an ability that appears to allow him to put the souls of his guards into other people. his testing of this involved having one of his men shoot himself while in the body of one of benjamin’s men, so benjamin has him arrested now too.

l plot: third prince zhang-li’s nen beast is dispensing mysterious coins and zhang-li is dispensing said coins amongst his guards as well as to melody, whose performance he liked. zhang-li also appears to be hiding that he’s actually the son of the king’s illegitimate half-brother onior, the head of the xi-yu, who he’s asked to look into the last succession battle.

m plot: hanzo and bisky, also hired to be here by kurapika, were working as bodyguards for the twelfth and thirteenth princes until the twelfth prince was the first death of the war. the kindergarten-aged thirteenth prince’s stress in response to his sister dying now appears to have led his nen beast to trap their group in some sort of reality bubble. bisky had to reveal her battle form to head servant vergei to explain nen and what was happening, which has mostly just led to vergei getting a mad crush on her.

n plot: izunavi and basho are also here on kurapika’s behest guarding the sixth and seventh princes, who both have not done much yet; sixth prince tyson has a mysterious religious creed that izunavi has convinced her to pass onto her father and seventh prince luzurus mostly likes to smoke weed everyday but seems surprisingly perceptive and, more importantly, apparently funds the cha-r.

o plot: despite being a deranged maniac, tserriednich has a group of childhood friends working fairly standard military guard positions on the lower floors; they’re trying to find out more about nen after picking up that the hei-ly, which tserriednich was allied with before morena took over, are using it.

p plot: fifth prince tubeppa, aware she has few allies and little knowledge of nen, has been trying to meet with kurapika for a while. the literal last thing teased before this hiatus was her bodyguard longhi revealing to kurapika that she knows nen and kurapika agreeing to meet with tubeppa.

q plot: the rest of the phantom troupe has split off: machi and franklin are both on their own (but nobunaga wants to go get franklin), chrollo is making a plan with shizuku and bonolenov that appears to involve a disguise ability bono has, and illumi joined the troupe on hisoka’s request so they could have a yaoi death battle and is with kalluto. speaking of which:

r plot: mizai ran into illumi and kalluto and has them staying in a room in the quarters the zodiacs are using. he’s currently trying to figure out whether he should be telling kurapika the troupe is on the ship or not, knowing it could risk the well-being of both woble and kurapika himself. (he also secretly gave melody clearance to try to save the twins.)

s plot: beyond netero is still in lock up and being watched by members of the zodiacs. he hasn’t done anything yet, but it has been implied he’ll try to escape at the fake “dark continent.”

t plot: ging and pariston have a group allied with beyond who are going to the dark continent themselves; ging joined because he knows pariston must be up to something. it remains ambiguous whether they have their own boat or are on the whale somewhere.

u plot: leorio and cheadle are working at an understaffed clinic near the zodiac headquarters, meaning that once again Leorio Is Just Offscreen

v plot: a random member of the cha-r is trying to get the autographs of the phantom troupe members. this has been used to dispense plot info about how far we are from being out of contact with land. pray for his success

TOTAL PLOTS COUNT: 22

[saedyne]

nobody asked but my hot take is that i think kon's struggles with

being literally made to be superman

being given roles and expectations (as a hero/boyfriend/etc) based on that/how he looks and squeezing himself down into those expectations

being torn between duty/obligation (even and perhaps especially of the self-imposed variety) and his own sense of self

feeling like he outlived his purpose after coming back from the dead and not knowing what he's supposed to be now that he's done the superman thing (maybe even feeling like he needs the unbearable weight of expectation because without a job to do or a box to fit into he might dissolve into nothing because he's always avoided examining who he is when there's nobody he has to be i wonder why that is)

could. uh. y'know. all that could be read as quite...queer. in a pretty genderful way. but what do i know.

[seraphont]

Been writing out a story outline for the au (:

[arodykeism]

but my heart is like a claw machine

[junkdrawerfan]

I know it’s for the angst and maybe it’s a thing in canon cause comic books. But if the batfamily are just human — Just straight 100% human — then they cannot hide their injuries.

A sprained ankle, once sprained, is easier to sprain. A bruised rib can turn into a fractured rib. A cut can get infected. A bruise can be hiding internal bleeding. All injuries, if ignored, can get worse.

First off. Just to clarify. The reality of the situation is that our very fun fleshy human characters just cannot be getting as hurt as frequently as they do in fics. In the comics, Bruce getting bruised ribs is a sign he is not taking care of himself and is being reckless and dangerous after Jason’s death. This might have changed in modern comics (that’s dumb. Batman doesn’t get hurt because he’s skilled and prepared. If they’ve changed that for shock or vibes, it’s stupid.) but it just can’t be true. The human body doesn’t heal that fast. There is no “magnify the sun to heal faster” tech for the batfamily. It’s one thing if Bruce used magic so they could insta-heal. But he doesn’t like magic either!

Bruised ribs and sprained ankles which seem “not that bad” in a lot of fics can keep a professional athlete from practice for weeks if not months. Let’s not even get into how it can affect a professional during the actual game/race/event.

The batfamily — who must be operating at peak physical fitness and pushing their bodies to the physical limit on top of the rigorous training/working out they do to enhance their skills — must 1) treat their bodies intelligently, 2) have some kind of rest day system so their bodies don’t shut down from the stress and 3) treat every injury seriously and timely to avoid exasperation and unnecessary healing time.

I get its comic books. I get Damian has such perfect awareness of his body he can shift his organs (ew.) to avoid being fatally stabbed. He’s still just a guy! They’re all just guys in super cool futuristic body armor and some neat gadgets.

(Side note: That body armor has gotta have some kind of kinetic dispersion system like Black Panther’s to keep the bruises minimal. Which means that body armor has to be good at stopping knives and guns from piercing the human flesh underneath. Which means that body armor cannot have any obvious flaws or weaknesses like only the cape is bulletproof and short shorts revealing the femeral artery!

(What I mean is maybe Dick and Jason had some like flesh colored armor leggings. Please let me live in delusion!)

Plus there has to be under layers. The color pattern top might be spandex or some kind of colored Kevlar-like fabric, but there must be special under garments, jock straps, compression shorts, ankle and wrist wraps. Something! Just Kevlar against bare skin would be impossible. Think of the rash! The sweat!There must be some kind of sweat-slicking layer or something that keeps you cool while you exert yourself running around a massive city like Gotham*. Otherwise they’d pass out from overheating!)

And since they’re just guys, when they get injured it is a big deal! They cannot hide their injuries, especially if they’re working with others. Injuries mean physical limitations which means your teammates have to pick up the slack. If your teammates don’t know they have to pick up the slack, not only are you endangering yourself but you are endangering your teammates.

And no matter how frustratingly emotionally constipated the bats are, no way are they choosing to risk their friends and family welfare for the sake of pride.

Think about it:

If you have mobility issues then you’re on sidewalk duty? Youre walking or motorcycle. Either way you’re off rooftops until you can safely grapple without pulling some stitches on your side or exasperating the ache in your upper back.

If you hide it and then you lose your gripe on your grapple because you have a full body flinch from pulling something and your teammates have to catch you or you die. Well that’s stupid. That’s a stupid way to die. No ego is worth that stupid death.

If you’re not sleeping which means your reaction time is sloppy** then you’re just not patrolling. There is plenty of work that doesn’t require the bats to be fighting around the city. The detective work can be done at a desk looking through camera footage, tracking down informants or victims or witnesses, or just mining the web for info. Plus paperwork, gadget maintenance, and the other fussy work that happens when you don’t have a company dedicated to maintaining your status of superhero like Ironman does.

All I’m saying is I know the cool part is the swinging and the patrolling and the fighting. Having an injury — a serious one with bone and blood — sounds cool and adds tension. Hell hiding an injury sounds like something they would do because they’re emotionally stunted idiots who don’t want to be a burden on their loved ones, right?

But they’re Bats! They’re effective, efficient, smart. They are human with human limits that can keep up with Supers and Flashes and Themyscirans. But to do that, they have to be managing their human limits intelligently.

TLDR: The BatFam cannot be getting injured that frequently or hiding injuries from teammates — the family or otherwise — without becoming massive liabilities in the field which would make their jobs nearly impossible to complete at the level of excellence they must do to keep up with the rest of the superhero community.

——

* By the way, Gotham is a city with a population of 10 million. For reference, NYC has 8 million people. Gotham also has enough land to have entire city blocks permanently unoccupied. Think about that! If NYC had a plot of land unoccupied, it would be built up into housing and business space immediately because space is a hot commodity in a city of 8M! How much fucking space does Gotham have!!!

** Yes you can survive without any sleep up to 30 days but that’s because by day 30 your organs shut down. Lack of sleep starts costing you as soon as 36 hours without sleep. They have to be sleeping a full 8-10 hours (or more because again they’re moving so much!) at some point to keep up. If they have insomnia then maybe they take something to go to sleep like a special bat-ambien.

[sforzesco]

WINTER BREAK

much like marriage matches, the stakes are pretty high for getting into the cardinalate. you might be a little on edge if the brother that's been earmarked for the role isn't really jazzed about the whole thing, in addition to trying to convince the pope that it's in his best interest to let this happen.

A Renaissance Court: Milan Under Galeazzo Maria Sforza, Gregory Lubkin

eventually I'm going to get the whole cast of sforza siblings drawn. there's just. a lot of them.

[raiiny-bay]

summer '93

[mizhxa]

LEARNIN THE BLU'S ART DUMP, I'M LEAVING THIS HERE AND RUNNING AWAY

@blubushie

[louhinks]

barges into the tag with the scruffiest propaganda for the Scratch = Seine quack theory

+ congrats! your evil doppelganger has pursued a higher education and has been awarded a BA in film studies!

[scribesynnox]

Jazz and Prowl Meet Cute

Fuck it, I have too many thoughts about mer au Jazz and Prowl and how they met, I'm not confining my ramblings to the tags anymore. Text post be upon ye. @keferon for their apocalyptic ponyo au

Everyone has been writing such excellent ideas for jazz and prowl, and I'm gonna add my own.

language barrier my beloved, jazz can understand humans, maybe even MULTIPLE human languages due to getting bounced around a lot, but doesn't have enough practice with mer and can only speak in a bastardized chimera version that is 10 different dialects in one ugly torn up trenchcoat. And also it's limping. He only knows that much in the first place because that's what he was able to pick up from the short conversations he has with other trapped mers.

Meanwhile Prowl doesn't know ANY human speech because as far as the merfolk are concerned, humans are like land dolphins; smart and cute but also clever enough to know it and very capable of being assholes. Still not as intelligent as them though, and language being a mystery to merfolk. Like, Prowl will recognize certain tones and gestures, sure, but he doesn't know enough to be able to hold a conversation. He didn't know they could even DO that!

which leaves them both in an awkward position. Neither knows the other's language enough to hold a proper conversation, and Jazz is woefully very very unpracticed speaking with another mer (the humans were scared Jazz would eat/hurt any other rare mer that gets put in the same tank as him so Jazz remained woefully alone alone ALONE).

Jazz overhears the humans talking about bringing another orca mer in with him and he is SO EXCITED!!! Finally, FINALLY!!! Something new, something different, and stars and moon above, something that can TALK and treat him like a PERSON!!

because he IS a person, he IS! The humans took a lot away from him and treat him like a dumb animal, but he knows he isn't, he's smart, he's clever, and he is so so SICK of not being treated like a PERSON.

and this orca will be with him for an extended period of time! Not just a small wave or quick snatches of simple conversation during performances or check ups. The orca will be WITH him, long enough to TALK.

Long enough to plot, even!

So Jazz is maybe a little overenthusiastic when Prowl wakes up from being drugged and Prowl maybe doesn't react super well to a strange orca after having just recently fallen asleep from trying to nurse his wounds from the LAST orca mers he met.

then you add language barrier on top of that and the two are kinda just left there staring warily at each other.

no matter! Jazz has a goal and by the MOON he is going to GET it.

Call Jazz an octopus with the way he keeps escaping captivity (sometimes he sees them on his own nightly escapes and it makes him laugh at seeing the little guys be just as bored and disdainful with captivity as he is), but he still hasn't actually. you know. ESCAPED escaped. But with Prowl here, he has a better chance!

Prowl REMEMBERS the outside! Remembers what the ocean is like, clearly is old enough and experienced enough to have lived to adulthood, and maybe! remembers how close to the ocean this place actually is!

Prowl has INFORMATION and Jazz does not. He needs information if he is ever going to get OUT of here and get back to where the water is not Wrong and Forward doesn't run out after 5 idle tail swishes, and also not DIE immediately in the new waters because Jazz isn't stupid. He knows this place isn't the ocean and knows his chances of surviving in the ocean after spending most of his life in captivity is going to be low. It's going to be one hell of an adjustment.

(I'm starting to realize why I'm constantly running out of tags in the posts now, wow, this is getting long. Better go put this under a read more)

Jazz is going to need information if he is ever going to get HOME.

(but what is home? Is home a fuzzy, blurry memory that he doesn't remember anymore? He doesn't even remember what the water felt like anymore, he only knows that the water here is WRONG)

(What a joke. To remember enough that the water feels Wrong, but not enough to remember when it was right)

Well Home sure as hell isn't HERE, so Jazz is going to get OUT, and this new mer here is going to help him!

Meanwhile on Prowl's end, he just woke up from being poisoned by the humans and is trapped in a weird artificial ocean. He must be in one of those structures the humans like to build, and as fascinating as it is to BE in one such structure. It also does not bode well for getting BACK to the ocean because humans are very infamously land bound.

Then all of a sudden a weird loud orca mer is in his face and speaking in the most dizzying language he's ever had spoken to him. One klik and it's the low, loud notes of the open sea dialect, the next klik it's the rapid staccato of the lake dialect, and in another klik it's the sing song tones of the northern foggy dialect! Prowl can barely keep up, even as the mer is clearly slowing down to speak with him.

Prowl doesn't know and he doesn't care, the other mer is a stranger and Prowl doesn't know WHAT is going on. Is he one of the orcas that fought Prowl earlier, who ended up getting dragged here with him? Is he a random orca that just HAPPENED to also be caught?

The chances of a random orca being here by coincidence is low, and so Prowl assumes it's an orca who had tried to come back after him to finish the job but got caught along with him.

It doesn't explain the horrifying butchered language being spoken to him however.

Unfortunately for Jazz, Prowl is still keyed up from being injured and now from being poisoned, so he whistles harshly "STAY BACK" at him anyways, and Jazz doesn't know what was just said, but he can tell when hackles are raised as well as anybody else, so he raises his hands and slowly backs away.

It takes a couple more tries and several hours of being in each other's company where nothing happens before they both calm down enough to actually get anything done. They both want to escape, and they both can't understand each other.

Yet.

Prowl pantomiming "what is your name?" to Jazz and Jazz replying with a very distinctly human noise of "Jazz".

Jazz immediately clocking in the sneer/pity on Prowl's face at the name and he is Offended! Like, it's HIS name! HE chose it, and so help him Moon, Prowl is NOT allowed to be all judgey about it. So he likes jazz music! Sue him! He's allowed to name himself whatever he wants!

Because stars forbid he get to decide anything else about his own life.

If he wants to name himself after a human noise, then he will name himself after a human noise! He doesn't want to hear anything from Mr. "low throat rumble with a weird echoing undertone to it", whatever that means. He's going to call him Purr for short. Isn't that nice, now they BOTH get to have human names.

"Is it JazzProwl if they're not lying to each other about something?" Now it's a a little tricky given their language barrier, less opportunities TO lie, but I live to please, and I can work with this.

Jazz is a performer. He knows how to put on a show. He's done nothing BUT put on a show his whole life.

Act cute. Act docile. Act dumb. This is what protects you.

Jazz is TOO used to putting on a show. He automatically hides his intelligence and skills from Prowl.

Wait no, even better: Prowl lies to Jazz about something, taking advantage of the fact that Jazz doesn't understand mer language yet or is ignorant about something. Maybe he lies about what someone said to them or maybe he's lying about a secret. Or maybe he's just lying because Jazz is one weird and suspicious orca and Prowl just doesn't trust like that.

Either way, Jazz realizes it and gets so so so MAD that Prowl is treating him like a dumb animal just like the humans did and THAT'S when Jazz starts acting dumber and less competent than he actually is, because if Prowl wants a dumb animal, then he's GETTING a dumb animal.

Jazz starts pretending that he doesn't understand what Prowl is saying, even when he does, and he doesn't do things to help even when he COULD, but it would leave him vulnerable/involve trusting Prowl to hold up his end of the deal. I.e., they need to get to the other side of a collapsed building but the only way through is up and over. And Prowl doesn't do "up". Jazz does, but in order to do it, he'd need to trust Prowl to lift him over, or maybe there's like, mutant birds in the area (or just regular seagulls, the vicious little fuckers) and he'd need Prowl to keep watch or something along those lines. Or maybe it would just hurt to go over the wall because there's broken glass on the ground, and he COULD hurt himself to go over, and then help Prowl follow through without hurting him, but Jazz decides to not let Prowl know that he can go over the wall. They go to find another way around.

Act dumb. Dumb is what protects you. Performing keeps you safe.

Well this got HELLA long, so I'm going to cut it off here. Plus I am eepy. Time to hit post and leave this for future me to find every spelling mistake ever, later. Or never. Who's to say.

I am just Consumed with mer thoughts. They must be released.

Edit: i cut this one a little short cuz it was getting long, so here’s a second part. Bonus content let’s goooo.