#COULD BE BETTER though but i get not ever episode can be life changing

[riseoftherose]

ok update on atla netflix: started final episode, it opens with the attack on the north. its pretty freaking great. frame for frame accurate w the show, and (other than some so so costuming choices, or a few fight-bending scenes with lower budgets) the only changes so far have been for the better

its- wow

its good

katara needs to go apeshit have have some more backbone fr, yue's costuming is god awful im so sorry amber midthunder queen you deserved better, and the overall customing for the northern watertribe is giving lowkey halloween/live action fmab but everything else??? top tier

[drownedbycoffee]

THEY AREN'T THE FEARS ANYMORE!! THEY'RE DESIRES

(SPOILERS for TMA, and all of TMAGP episodes so far)

Okay, here me out

Tmagp1: Darla wants to hear Arthur's voice again. She even says: "I just couldn’t face the thought of the rest of my life never hearing him again, I had to try" and later on she even says: "But I had to know, so I went to the cemetery."

Tmagp1: RedCanary wants to know about the Magnus Institute. They want to know why it's listed under 'cleared' when there's no evidence of it. Hence why they go and explore it.

Tmagp2: Daria wants that absolute perfection. She wants to change who she is and get out of that dark place. When she talks about the thing that she felt was missing, she says, "... and that’s when I decide I need a tattoo. I had a couple already – just little things on my shin and my wrist – but I decided I needed something big. Something that really changed my look." She also mentions when talking about Ink5oul that "they just kept pressing me about my life, about why I wanted the ink" instead of asking what design she wanted. And when she got the tattoo she describes herself as now being, "Someone I wanted to know more about." Afterwards she even says how "For the first time ever [she] wanted to attempt a self-portrait. Something real and physical, [she] wanted to feel the brushes in my hands and the oil on [her] fingertips." I think a lot of her statement is about her desire and impulsive need for that perfection and that wholeness that she has been aspiring to for her whole life.

Tmagp3: Samuel wants to stay hidden. He wants and he "need[s] to get up, get out of here for treatment." He wants to get better and most of his delirious thoughts are the things that he wants, or feels like he needs. E.g. "I so much want to see it [the sun] again. This night seems endless. I want to be warm again. I am terribly afraid. Thank god for Maddie. I need to treat her better."; "I just need to rest."; "I need to be careful or we’ll drift apart." And then obviously as the narrative continues, Samuel wants to grow and 'put down roots'.

Tmagp4: The narrator wants to be revered and accepted into the Royal Court Orchestra of the Palatinate. He wants to show off and impress. The violin "was a creature with needs and purpose of its own. The needs were simple enough. Blood. Flesh." It has these needs and desires.

So far, I'm interpreting it to be that everything so far can be interpreted as a desire of sorts, varying in the strength and intensity of it. Obviously, fear is still a big part of it all, because if you want something so badly, aren't you afraid of it being stolen from you? Of it being out of your grasp? Of it being unachievable or impossible in some capacity? Of it being a lie?

Even Sam wants to find out more. He wants to know the why and the reason for things. Gwen wants Lena's job. Collin wants to fix all these bugs and keep Freddie running. Alice wants to just get on with it because she found out that wanting to know the 'why' of things is dangerous.

I think that somehow when the Web took all the Fears into a different universe, they morphed into something else. Or they changed to fit what was the most prevalent thing in that universe, because after all, everyone wants something, even if it's something small and inconsequential. Life and aspects of it has always been characterised by that desire for something. Like people wanting food, shelter, safety, love, warmth, happiness, etc. And I think since the Web was so intwined with Jon and Martin, it absorbed some of their emotions when it found its way into this new world, because after all Jon and Martin wanted to stop Jonah/Elias, to stop the apocalypse, to destroy the Panopticon, to be safe, and they wanted each other. I think the wanting and fear of things are really entwined in it all, though this could be absolute bullshit haha

[piebingo]

The more I think about the ending of ep5, the more I like it, even if I dread to watch it again. They both hit a wall so hard during Wille's birthday, and they're as low as they could be (well... I hope for them lol) and I think this was very necessary for them individually and together.

Realistically, there's no way Wille would have ever been happy in the monarchy (my anti-monarchy ass is SO happy that they explored that on such a high level). And sure, maybe he would have stayed had he not met Simon, because as he once told Boris, it might sometimes be better to not know how things can feel. But I'm so glad for him, even through all of the heartbreaks, that he finally has the possibility to get out of there. That he's found someone who gave him a snapshot of what life can be out of that insane institution. Someone who opened a window and gave Wille a chance to see sunny days for once. That even though he's at rock bottom right now and he's hurting himself and Simon, he has the possibility to see how bad it's hurting and let go of it. And although the ending of ep5 hurts like hell, I'm really glad he's hitting this wall and that Simon decided to have a conversation about how nothing is working. Because while this might feel like the end of them (which I don't think it is) I think this is exactly what they need to be better together, if they choose to do so. But the fact that they might have a chance to talk about things and make that decision is really good for them.

And on the other hand, I really love what Simon is going through too. He's also at rock bottom, he's lost himself in the process, but he's finally realizing that for real. I think this is his chance to finally put himself first. Sure, this conversation they ended with in ep5 is as much to save Wille and perhaps their relationship as it is to save himself, but I think Simon also really needed to hit this wall to realize that he can't erase himself for others. Because he knows he does that, Sara said it to him very explicitly in s1, yet he still does it (and it's hard to change bad habits). Is his storyline surprising to me this season? Not at all, because that's always what he's done: put others before himself. This season it's just a much bigger version of that, and I think Simon desperately needed to lose himself to see it.

And I really hope that this next episode can let both boys explore healthy ways to start dealing with their shit and the chance to make a decision together. And that, for me, is one of the reasons I think they can make it: because they will finally be able to address what they haven't been addressing for so long. They'll finally be able to see what they both need to address.

[alastor-is-best-deer-boi]

The Littlest Morningstar

Rating: Gen

Warnings: None

Tags: Pre-canon, fluff, domestic fluff, parenthood, canon compliant for the most part I think except maybe one headcanon

Word Count: 1k

Summary: Lucifer and Lilith Morningstar admire their newborn daughter, Charlotte.

Note: After episode five I just had to write this! I had it stuck in my head and needed to get it out. I know posting it right before new episodes tomorrow seems crazy, but better now than tomorrow I think. Hope you enjoy all the fluff! This is my first Hazbin Hotel fic, so I hope it's not ooc.

Also, I know the title is ironic considering Charlie grows up to be taller than her dad, but it fits in this context.

Additionally, we need more little Charlie gifs! I know it's not accurate to the fic, but it's the best I can do.

Also Read on AO3

Lucifer sat slightly curled up with his wife, Lilith, on their bed. The couple leaned against each other, taking in the quiet, peaceful moment with the newest addition to their family, their newborn daughter.

He watched how his wife doted on her sleeping daughter, bundled up comfortably in a soft blanket. Lilith whispered sweet words to the infant, a smile on her face. Lucifer felt like he’d fallen in love with his wife all over again, his heart full of love for his precious family.

“What’s on your mind, dear?” Lilith spoke, still keeping her tone soft to not wake up Charlotte.

Lucifer looked up at her, a small smile on his face. “Just thinking about how lucky I am to have both of you in my life… and, I don’t know, I guess I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with love right now.” He chuckled softly, wiping a tear from his eye.

Lilith beamed, taking his hand in hers for a moment, rubbing gentle circles with her thumb on his skin.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

She let out a small sigh, though still with a happy expression. “Tired… but overjoyed.”

“It was a lot to go through, but you, of course, handled it gracefully throughout the whole thing.” He kissed her hand.

“The whole thing? I feel like you may be exaggerating just a tad.” She joked.

“No, I mean it. How could I possibly lie about my beautiful, strong, and amazing wife, huh? It’s not something I’d do.” He grinned, meaning every word he said.

“Thank you, honey.” Lilith smiled and placed her hand on his cheek, leaning closer to kiss him.

Lucifer gladly accepted, closing his eyes and enjoying her presence. They eventually parted and rested their foreheads together; both smiling.

He pulled away when he heard the tiniest-sounding yawn he’d ever heard in his life; causing a wave of emotions in his heart. Lilith and he looked down at their tiny daughter. Her face had scrunched up, and with some effort, she opened her eyes.

“Oh, just look at her, Luce…” Lilith cooed, making sure her daughter was still settled comfortably in the blanket.

He could feel tears welling up again, quickly wiping them away and smiling. “She’s beautiful.”

“She looks like you, has your eyes.” She murmured, looking down at her with a small smile.

Lucifer felt a swell of pride seeing how similar his daughter’s eyes looked to his. Long ago, he struggled with some of the changes that had been done to him when he fell, the color of his eyes included. But seeing them in his daughter, they suited her wonderfully.

“Her eye shape is like yours, and she kinda has your nose,” he commented. “I think she’s a perfect mix of us, right?”

Lilith couldn’t help but smile again. “Absolutely perfect. Do you want to hold her?”

“Oh, really? You sure you’re ready to hand her over? Just look how small she is, practically the size of my hand! So fragile… I just… well, I…” He chuckled nervously, stammering.

“Honey, you won’t hurt her. It’ll be okay.” She cut off his anxious rambling, attempting to soothe him.

Lucifer looked up at her, slightly furrowing his brows and nodding, attempting to get his nervousness under control. “I’m sorry, you’re right… I guess I’m just…”

“Scared? I understand. You’re not alone in this.” She gave him an empathetic look. “We’ve been practicing for the whole nine months. You got this.”

He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and nodded again. “Thank you, Lili. I’m ready.”

“Don’t forget to unbutton your shirt a bit. Skin-to-skin contact is important for newborns.” She explained.

“Oh, uh, right.” Lucifer muttered and worked on unbuttoning a few top buttons on his shirt. He was significantly dressed down for the whole experience, wearing a long-sleeved plain button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and slacks.

When he was done, he held his arms out, carefully taking the infant in a secure hold as his wife slowly passed her to him. Little Charlotte blinked a couple of times, looking around the room. She had managed to wriggle one of her tiny hands out of the swaddle, still having her little fingers in an instinctive fist.

Lucifer held her close to his heart, hoping she could feel all the overwhelming love coming from the people who loved her most. He smiled, listening to her soft breathing and quiet coos.

“We’re so glad you’re here with us, little one,” he spoke softly, noticing how curious she was, continuing to look around. “Yeah, it’s a big change… all these new sights and senses. But you’re safe here with us. I promise.”

Lilith rested her head against her husband’s shoulder, watching them both lovingly.

Lucifer gently touched her soft, chubby cheeks. His thumb carefully rubbed the adorable little red circles on her face. They were just like the ones on his face.

Charlotte made a little content coo, already heading for the process of babbling. Though it would be a long while to get to that point. She reached her tiny hand out, gripping Lucifer’s finger.

“Wow… she’s way stronger than she looks.” He chuckled softly. “I suppose she takes after her mother.”

Lilith placed her hand on theirs for a moment, not fighting the urge to smile again. “She takes after both of her parents.”

He nodded, feeling tears in his eyes start to well up again. “She’s perfect… thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a father, I mean it.” He looked at Lilith, feeling nothing but pure love.

She smiled and gave him a quick kiss. Next, she kissed her daughter’s head; causing the newborn’s face to scrunch up in surprise for a split second.

Lucifer chuckled at her adorably confused expression. “You okay, Char Char? I guess it’s another new thing to get used to.”

“Char Char?” Lilith repeated, an amused smile showing on her face. “She’s barely hours old and you’ve already come up with a nickname?”

“Ah, well, I guess I couldn’t help myself… she’s just so cute!” He blushed a little from embarrassment.

“Of course she is. Look who her father is.” Lilith teasingly flirted a little. She laughed shortly, seeing how red his face turned.

“Thank you, dear.” Lucifer smiled and looked away for a brief second before looking back down at his daughter, gaining his composure somewhat.

Even though she wasn’t at the age yet to know how to smile, the corner of Charlotte’s mouth pulled up a little, giving the appearance of a smile.

Lucifer rested his face against Lilith’s shoulder for a second. “I don’t know if I have the strength for this Lili.” His voice muffled slightly.

She picked up on why and chuckled quietly. “Why is that?”

“Just—look at her! My heart can’t take how cute she is,” he said in a hushed tone, turning to look at his daughter again.

“I guess you’ll have to get used to it.” She smiled.

“I have no choice.” He sighed, clearly smiling as well.

Charlotte cooed again, and he gently patted her head, feeling the soft golden curls of her hair.

“I can tell she’s getting sleepy again… or maybe hungry… or both.” He furrowed his brows. “I’m going to have to learn all the differences.”

“You’ll get them in time,” she replied.

“Do you want to take her again?” He asked. “I don’t want to hoard all the baby cuddles…”

“If you’re okay with it, and there’s no such thing as hoarding baby cuddles.”

Lucifer scoffed lightheartedly. “Yet.”

He kissed Charlotte’s little red cheeks before handing her back to her mother. He watched her settle back into her mother’s arms, yawning again.

“Oh, you were right about her being hungry… I’m guessing after this she’ll probably fall asleep again,” Lilith spoke, nursing her daughter.

“Sounds about right. That’s the life of a baby, especially one as new as her.”

Eventually, as they had predicted, Charlotte fell asleep. Lucifer listened to her calm breathing again, feeling at peace, which had been hard to come by in his life before.

“We’re parents now,” he stated. “This is our new life…”

“Still feeling glad about it?” Lilith asked.

“I’m overjoyed.” He spoke honestly. “It’s just a lot to take in.”

She nodded. “I’m sure after a bit we’ll settle into our new routine.”

Lucifer looked up at her and smiled, appreciating how wise she was being. What would he do without her?

“I know I sound like a broken record, but I’m so lucky to have you two… I love you both.” He managed to keep his voice steady.

Lilith kissed his cheek. “I feel the same.”

Lucifer hoped he’d be good at this whole father thing. He knew that realistically every parent made mistakes, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t give it his best. And it didn’t change the fact that no matter what, he would love his daughter with everything he had.

“I love you, Charlotte. More than anything.” He thought.

[darlingshane]

Salt of the Earth ~ Part 1

Pairing: Michael Berzatto x OFC

Summary: She was Carmy's best friend growing up, and Michael never looked at her as anything other than that until years later when she comes back to Chicago to start over. In the process, she turns his sorry excuse of a life upside down.

Content/Warnings: Friends to lovers, Fluff, Angst, Family Drama, Dysfunctional relationships, Implied/referenced drug addiction, Alcohol mention, Divorce, Pets, Pet names, Dialogue heavy. Undisclosed age gap (in my mind Michael is late 30s and OC is late 20s, but it's really up to your interpretation).

Word Count: 6.8k // 4 chapters // AO3 link.

A/N: This is set in the year of the Fishes episode on season 2. It starts in summer and slowly builds up to that Christmas.

— This was an anon request that I got a few months ago, I hope you're still around. I tried to fit all the ideas you sent as best I could. There's a bit of info dump on the first chapter, but I hope it isn't too off-putting.

Chapter 1: Best thing since sliced bread

Seconds stretch into minutes, minutes elongate into long hours on slow days like this at The Beef. Especially in summer when the air conditioner stops working for the second time in the middle of August. Any living soul that crosses that door must have a dying wish or be the devil themselves to adventure themselves to what has become Michael's personal hell.

It's been a testing year, and there's so much he can do to fix this place right now. While he waits for Fak to come check the damn AC unit, Michael tends the front while Ebra takes his lunch break.

Turning the paper's pages on the counter, he comes across an article about the extensive fires eating different parts of the country. A wretched thought crosses his mind as he reads – maybe it'd be better to burn this place to the ground and start over. He entertains the idea for a second until the door swings open, inviting more heat into the boiling pot.

He lifts his eyes from the words to find a familiar face approaching the counter. It's not Fak, but a much better vision of someone he used to know.

“Mayhem Maya.”

“Magic Mikey.”

That former thought of burning down this place disappears somewhere in the midst of that beautiful aura that saunters with her big brown eyes, long raven hair, nervous smile, and firm steps.

“It's been a while, Maybird.” Almost ten years since she set foot in this establishment. “What brings you to this hole in the wall?”

“Came to collect that meatball sub you promised at uncle Teddy's funeral, remember?”

“Oh, right.”

Ever since she moved to a different state, he only had seen her a handful of times when she came back for the holidays. Last time he saw her was at the beginning of spring, when her uncle, Ted Silva, passed away.

“I also had an interview at the new vet clinic on the next block.” She places her cross-body bag on an empty stool while she perches her ass on the one next to it.

“How's that going? Did you get tired of California already?”

“No, I love California. But I needed a change of scenery. It's been rough after… you know…” the divorce. She wasn't married for long, but she still can't bring herself to say the word.

“I’ve heard some of it.” He’s pretty much aware of how everything went down. Well, he’s got grapevine’s juicy version of the story, but he never heard her side directly.

Though Michael and Maya know each other as if they were related, they were never close confidants. She always thought he was the coolest guy in Chicago. And he always thought fondly of her, given their families association, and Maya’s close friendship with his brother.

Michael places an order for her sandwich and grabs a soda for her, while she explains she has two more job interviews later.

“Does your mother know you're back?” He folds the paper and props his elbows on the counter.

“She probably does.”

“Still not talking, huh?”

“It's not my fault she made me the black sheep of the family. She’s like vitriol on steroids.”

“Yeah? What happened at the wake? You left before I could say goodbye.”

Michael recalls the tension at the funeral, particularly at the wake when Angela Silva grabbed Maya by the elbow and took her youngest daughter outside the house as if she was still a child that needed to be scolded.

“Nothing. I barely said a word that day. Guess everything I do feels like a personal attack to her. I can admit that I'm not perfect, and that sometimes I've acted up just to get a reaction out of her, but that day she just went off again…” She pauses without finishing that thought to take a refreshing sip of her coke. “And that wasn't nearly as bad as the day I told her I was getting…”

“Divorced? Why can't you say the word? It's not Voldemort.”

“What the hell do you know about Voldemort?”

“How do I… Who took you and Carmy to buy those damn books? Have you forgotten?” Maya shakes her head. “You even tried many times invoking his name, so I was haunted by eaters or something like that. You two were real potterheads.”

“And you were just a pothead,” she laughs, stirring the ice cubes in her drink with a straw. “I totally blocked that out. We were just a couple of nerds.”

“I’d say!”

“Meatball sub!” Richie calls from the pass-through window and takes a second look when catching Maya in the joint. “Maya Papaya?!”

“Please, don’t call me that.” She scoffs while Richie promptly abandons the kitchen and goes around the counter to give her a welcoming hug.

“Did you know she was coming?” He asks Michael, as he props his ass on the bar.

“Had no idea. She just showed up.”

“Did you tell her about Carmy?”

“What about him?”

“He’s in Copenhagen.”

“Oh, I knew about that.”

“You two talk often?”

“Sometimes, I guess.” Barely more likely. They don't even text anymore. She's tried but there's been nothing but crickets at his end for months.

While Richie grills her about Carmy and what she’s been up to, Michael can’t help but look around the shop to notice, from every corner and wall, memories bouncing all at once in his direction. It takes him back in time to those days when she and Carmy were as thick as thieves.

Their shared history goes back to that same street their families have lived on for over thirty years… It’s still clear in his mind, like it was yesterday, when he was forced to babysit them when they wanted to go to the movies or trick-or-treating or the bookstore. That was a little annoying back then, now he fondly remembers all those times in summer, when they’d go to the convenience store to get ice pops on their bikes. Then they’d ride back and sit in the middle of the swanky rug in their living room and watch TV for hours. More than once they were yelled at by Mama Berzatto when she would come home to find melted colorful stains in the fabric. She would lose her shit. Carmy was used to it. Maya wasn’t, but the girl never flinched once cause Donna and her own mother were cut from the same unstable piece of cloth.

Maya and Carmy were really close up until they went separate ways for college. Their bond was something to admire. They had something so special that inevitably, Carmy fell in love with her. She was his best friend and confident. They kept each other's secrets, and Carmy thought she'd feel the same in return. It wasn't a crazy notion. They spent so much time together, everyone thought it'd lead to something more, but that never happened.

Mikey and Richie used to tease the youngest cub relentlessly. They tried multiple times to encourage him to ask her out, but he never found the guts to do it. Especially if it could potentially end their friendship. Carmy didn't want to lose that. Though he never confessed his feelings, Maya always knew. Even in her teens, call it a woman’s intuition, part of her already knew. Maya wished she'd felt the same toward him, but the heart wants what it wants, and she couldn't change that.

What was really fucked up was that she had the most ridiculous crush on the older Berzatto when she was a teen. While she knew he'd never look at her as anything other than Carmy's annoying little friend, that didn't stop her from daydreaming about it for years. It was a secret that no one ever knew and that was placed in a drawer at the back of her mind after she left Chicago.

After graduating, Maya and Carmy stayed in touch for a long time, until their calls and texts became less frequent. They followed different dreams that required a lot of attention and sadly their friendship got hurt in the process.

While she attended Vet School on the west coast, he became a chef on the east.

Maya thrived at school and work. She really went out on her own, and became the woman she always wanted to be. Unsheltered, confident, outspoken. She outgrew her shell and opened herself to new experiences and people. She loved it all. It wasn’t smooth sailing, but for the most part she was pretty happy with her choices.

And now she's back in Chicago, set on a new path and awaiting to see where it takes her.

She’s living in a house in Oak Park with her dog, Coco; Richie fishes out of her. Apparently, she got some money from uncle Teddy, and she’s invested it in a home for her and her beloved staffy.

“Does Carmy know you’re here?” Richie circles back.

“No, I haven't talked to him in months.”

“Why? Did you two have a fall-out or something?”

“There's no why. We're just busy.”

“Mike, help me out here. Weren’t these two fools supposed to get married?”

“Yeah, everyone thought you'd ended up together.”

“Man, I don't know what to tell you, we just didn't,” her head sinks between her shoulders.

“Just get over yourself and hit him up. The kid has been hung up on you since forever. It looks like things didn’t go so well with your marriage and all. You should take that as a sign, you’d never find anyone better than Carmy. The boy could really use some excitement in his life. And so could you.”

“C’mon, leave her alone. Go back to work, Cousin.”

Michael throws her a lifeline, noticing how miserable she looks every time Richie opens his unfiltered mouth.

“He’s not wrong, you know? You and Carmy… it looked like you two had something special.” Michael offers once Richie is back in the kitchen.

“It’s called friendship. You should look it up.” She points out.

“I have Richie.”

“Exactly. You have Richie. Why don't you two marry the other and leave me alone? If you think about it, you were as close to Richie as I was with Carmy. Even more. Should everyone assume you are in love with him? Cause that's what you're implying.”

“Touché. I'll drop it.”

“Look, as hard as it is to believe, there was nothing else between us. I was aware he felt something for me, but I didn’t feel the same.”

“You should give him a chance sometime. He might surprise you.”

It’s not the first time these two have been trying to play matchmaker between Maya and Carmy, and it’s bizarre to see they still do at any given opportunity.

“Okay, if I give Carmy a chance, you have to give Richie a chance. Those are the rules, Berzatto.”

“Oh, I've tried. He's not into me,” he remarks, amused, and leans closer to confess something in a lower voice. “Do you wanna know a secret?”

“Uh, sure.”

“He and Tiffany are having a baby. He just told me a few days ago.”

“What? You let him reproduce? I'll pray for Tiff.”

Chapter 2: Cool as a cucumber

Everything falls slowly into place as Maya settles back in Chicago. She secures the job at the clinic near The Beef, which is a huge relief after her rushed decision of moving back to her hometown without securing a job first. It was part of the plan all along to practice what she loves but never thought this would be the year. As much as she loved California, once her divorce was finalized she felt like something was trapping her there. And the money she got from her uncle gave her some leeway to improvise, get away from all that, and start over.

Maya is spending her morning going through the stack of unpacked boxes, finding a good place for everything, making it feel more homey. It's not a big house, but spacious enough for the two of them. The big selling point was the backyard for Coco to zoom around and cool down in her wading pool, which she loves. It didn't take long for the five-year-old pup to get used to her new neighborhood. They've even made a couple of friends at the park nearby.

A moment before the doorbell rings, Coco whines from her spot by the window, where she often sits to watch passers in the street.

“Who is it?” Maya playfully asks her dog as she makes her way to the front door.

Through the peephole, she sees Michael's profile as he inspects the porch.

“Hi,” her eyes widen as she opens the door. “Didn't know you were coming.”

“Yeah, I would've called, but I didn't get your number the other day.” But he got her address from Richie's intense questioning when she visited the shop.

“I knocked on two different houses until I got the right one,” he explains as Coco curiously circles around his feet, sniffing his pants, hitting his crotch with her nose in the process.

“No, Coco. Sit. How many times have we talked about no nut-tapping?” Maya glances at her with amusement as the dog sits on her haunches.

“It’s fine,” he snorts. “All dogs do that.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. But she’s not any other dog. I thought I had taught her better. So what brings you here?”

“This.” He offers the paper bag hanging in his hand. “It's just a little house-warming gift.”

“You didn't have to.” As she takes the bag from his hand she ushers him inside before closing the door.

“It's nothing, really.”

He glances around as Maya takes out the box from the bag.

“Wow, a set of knives? That's not nothing.”

“Everyone needs one good set of knives. But you can exchange them for something else if you want.”

“No. I like these. But I gotta warn you that I'm not much of a cook, and I'll probably use the same one for everything.”

“That's fine I can show you sometime though. Is she friendly? ” He points at the dog that keeps staring at him. “Can I pet her?”

“Yeah, she loves everyone. Go ahead.”

Michael cautiously pets the brown coat of her head as her floppy ears lower at the passing of his hand.

“Never pictured you with a pit bull.”

“Me neither. I always thought I'd be a cat lady. But I met her at this adoption drive when she was one, and she stole my heart.”

“I can see why.” Michael crouches down, and pets Coco with both hands. “She's really sweet.”

He lets her lick his chin a couple of times before standing back on his feet. Then they go on a tour around the house.

“It's still a work in progress. I'm thinking of painting a few walls, but we like it so far.”

“Yeah, it has good bones.”

“So you don't have to work today?” Asks Maya.

“No, we've had some trouble with the gas line, and we've been shut down for a couple of days.”

“That sucks. Now where am I going to get my sandwiches and coffee on my way to work?”

“Heard Starbucks is pretty good.”

“Shut up. Don't even joke about that.” She playfully shoves his shoulder as they go back to the living room.

“Are you doing something later?”

She shakes her head. “Why?”

“I don't know, thought you were having a comeback party or something.”

“I don't really have any friends here. And I don't feel like inviting my family yet. As you can see, I still have a lot to unpack.”

“Physically or mentally speaking?”

“Both,” she scoffs.

“Let's do something then? Just you and me. We could grab some pizza, or go out for a drink for old times’ sake?”

“Old times’ sake?” It's amusing, surprising and confusing his sudden interest in her. Maybe he can see how pathetic she thinks she is, and he's taking pity on her. Although, that was never Michael style.

“Yeah, c'mon, Mayhem. You look like you could use some fun.” He picks up a book that's sitting on top from the box opened by the couch that's titled — Dating Again with Courage and Confidence: The Five-Step Plan to Revitalize Your Love Life after Heartbreak, Breakup, or Divorce. “And maybe a rebound or something. You don't need a fucking help book. You only need me to show where to get the best guys, or girls. Whatever you're into.”

“Give me that. I don't need a rebound, a help book, or you for all matter finding me a date.”

“No? Then why do you have that?”

“My friend Paige thought I should give it a try.”

“Maybe she was onto something there.”

“I'm perfectly fine. Just want to finish organizing everything, focus on work and this handful I have right here.” Her hand gestures at Coco. “What are you so interested in my love life anyway? First you try to play matchmaker with Carmy, and now you want me to do what, exactly? Hook up with the first guy I see?”

“No, I'm just asking you to go out and have some fun. I know Carmy was the only friend you had here. And if I was in your shoes, I'd feel pretty lonely.”

“I'm not lonely, Michael. Do I miss my friends in Sacramento? Sure,” she admits. “But I don't wanna force anything. I'm just taking it slow. When the time comes I'll jump right in but for now, this is all I need. Really. Stop pitying me.”

“I'm not pitying you, sweetheart.”

“No? Then what is it? Where is this coming from?”

“I don't know… I've always thought you were the salt of the earth. And though we never really hung out together, I thought you could use… But I can see now that you're different, and that you know what you need right now, so I'll just shut up and back off. Let you do your thing.”

“Thank you. I do know what I'm doing, by the way. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine. But I appreciate you coming here anyway.”

“Yeah, of course. And I can help you unpack if you need.”

“Hm, if you don't have anything better to do, be my guest. We could grab a pizza later, if the offer still stands. Or just order some food.”

“Sure.”

Michael helps Maya unpack all the boxes and put everything in place in half the time it'd have taken her alone. They order some food for lunch and spend half the day talking and laughing until late in the afternoon when they decide to go out for some drinks to keep the good vibes going.

At the end of the night, she offers to drive Michael back to his apartment as a thank you for inviting her.

“Did you have fun?” Michael asks from the passenger seat as she pulls up in front of his building.

“Yeah, I did. I'm glad I changed my mind.”

“Me too. I didn't know you were this fun. You're nothing like I remember.”

“Yeah, I was kind of weird growing up. You guys probably thought there was something wrong with me. ”

“Nah, don't be so hard on yourself. We were all weird in our own way.”

“Uh-uh. No Michael Berzatto. You were the coolest guy back in the day, and you still are.”

“I don’t know about that,” he scoffs. “For the record… I never thought there was anything wrong with you.”

“You were probably the only one… Anyway, thank you for today. I know I said I didn't need this, but I guess I did.”

“You're welcome, Maybird. I'm glad you’re back.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Thanks for bringing me home,” he softly squeezes her arm before reaching for the handle to open the door.

“No problem.”

“You know you can call me if you ever miss your friends, y’know?” he throws casually.

“I uh…sure. I will.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” she echoes back as he pulls the handle and the door opens.

“Have a good night, Michael,” she says as he gets one foot on the pavement.

“You, too, sweetheart.”

He closes the door and vaguely waves as she sets the car in motion and watches her drive away.

Chapter 3: Don't cry over spilled milk

In the few weeks he's been spending time with Maya, Michael has found himself enjoying her company more than he'd like to admit. Being with her grounds him. She makes him forget for a little while all that's wrong in his life. She's like a beacon in that immerse darkness that his sorry existence has become. Despite having her own set of problems, he's watched her rise above all that with poise. He wonders what it's her secret to her steadfast determination, even when her own family has disavowed her.

After closing shop, he dives into his stash to tame that brewing headache before driving to Oak Park to pay her a visit. She told him earlier via text that she was at Home Depot buying some paint to update the color of her bedroom and asked him to come over to hang out after work.

For some reason, he couldn't say no. Not even the storm in his head is strong enough to deny her request. He has a pull on him, tugging him hard like a dog tied to a leash in her hand, he can’t help but follow her lead.

When he arrives at her house, she's halfway done. Two of the walls shine bright new in a lavender tone as she starts working on the next one.

After having beer and playing a tug of war game with his new friend, Coco, Michael offers his help to finish painting the walls. He uses a brush to paint the corners, while she gracefully uses a roller like a pro with her denim overalls over a tank top, and her raven hair pulled up in a ponytail sprinkled with lavender paint beads. When she lifts one of her arms, he catches a glimpse of a tattoo on the side of her rib cage, leveled to the roundness of her chest that looks like the outline of a dog paw.

“What are you looking at?” She asks after catching him staring.

“You have paint on your chin.”

“Oh.” She wipes it with the back of her hand, but she just spreads the stain along her jaw. “I made it worse, didn't I?”

“Yeah.”

She shrugs it off and continues with the task ahead until the whole wall is covered.

“Is everything okay, Bear?” Maya puts down the paint roller. “You're quieter than usual.”

“Yeah, everything's alright.” It sounds so honest, he almost believes it. “It's just been a long day.”

“I'm sorry that I put you to work.”

“Don't be. This is relaxing.”

“Yeah?” She takes a step back and surveys how much brighter her bedroom looks already after covering most of the former downcast grey. “Is the color right? Do you think it's too girlish?”

Giving the room a once over he says, “it's a good shade. I dig it. It doesn't matter what I think or if it's too girlish, as long as you like it. Do you like it?”

“Yeah. I do.”

She dips the roller on the tray to cover another section of the wall.

“You never told me what happened at the funeral with your mom,” Michael leans on the stepladder, taking a short break.

“Do you really wanna know?” She glances over her shoulder.

“Yeah. Everyone does. I’ve heard some crazy stories about it. Thought I should get it straight from the source.”

“I never pegged you for a gossip girl.”

“I’m not. I’m just making conversation.”

She mockingly narrows her eyes, drawing a lopsided smirk, “liar.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t wanna. But yeah, can’t help being a little curious about it.”

“I don’t mind telling you, but it won’t be as entertaining as those crazy stories people have made up.”

“I’m not here for entertainment. I just wanna hear your side of the story, Maybird.”

Maya lets out a heavy sigh and while keeping her focus on the wall she shares with him what really happened. She’s right to say that is not the best story she’s ever told, though when it comes to her mother, all her stories tend to have a surreal element even she can’t fathom sometimes.

That day at the funeral, she was taken outside during the wake by Angela Silva to get scolded about her imminent divorce. It wasn’t finalized by then, and her mom invoked one last Hail Mary to convince her to stay with her husband, who was also currently dating someone else. It was a messy situation that Maya couldn't wait to get out of, and the fact that her mother never offered an ounce of support wasn’t surprising, but still devastating. Somehow, Angela found that the reason for her separation from her husband was that Maya didn’t want to have kids, and that really vexed Angela. All she wanted for her three kids was to follow the same traditional path Angela was forced into, no matter how miserable she was. Her two older sisters followed her mother’s narrowed traditional values. But Maya, ever-the-nonconformist, swore she would never follow anyone’s drum beat but her own. Her husband thought she’d change her mind eventually. He was wrong. She knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, which led her here, to this moment.

“Is your mom ever happy?” Michael has always wondered.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her happy, except when she’s drunk. That’s why she has to make everyone else miserable.”

“Yeah, but she’s always had a fixation on making you miserable.”

“Like I said, every family needs a black sheep, and I’m it.”

“Is that why you became a vet?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“So, it's true, you don’t wanna have kids? I’m not judging. I’m just curious.”

“I honestly don't know. I just knew that when he told me he wanted to have a baby right away, it didn’t feel right. I said that maybe in six or seven years I’d be okay with it. Told him I wanted to travel and just be us for a while, and he said that was too long to wait. I don’t know… he stopped talking to me, and it was clear that he wasn’t changing his mind, and I wasn’t changing my mind, so. At some point I got tired of trying… He got a girlfriend as soon as I filed for divorce and I got a text from Paige the other day that said he got her already pregnant, like… that was never me. I guess it served me right… I married him on a whim, an impulse without really talking about what we wanted…”

“Hey, don’t feel sorry for yourself. You dodged a bullet there.”

“You really think that?.”

“Yeah, I do. You stood up for yourself and knew when to step back when it didn’t feel right. Not everyone has the balls to do that. Think how miserable you’d be by now if you had tried to please him or your mom. You seem happy now. That's what matters.” He means that with all his heart, and wishes he had the same drive to follow those same steps. As much as he loved the restaurant, he chose to run it to please people within his family. And that love turned into a nightmare he couldn't escape.

“You know… I liked you better when you were quiet,” she quips.

Michael huffs a soft laugh, picking up his brush to resume painting.

When the room is finished, she plugs a couple of fans and closes the door to keep Coco away.

Maya washes her hands and face in the bathroom sink. When she comes out, she catches the motion of Michael's arm as he shoves what looks like a pill into his mouth before taking a gulp of water from one of her glasses.

“What was that? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. It's just a headache,” looking down, he runs a palm over his short growing beard.

“Is it the fumes?”

“No, I had it before coming here.”

“Michael,” she sighs softly at his name. “You should've told me. I wouldn't have let you help if I knew.”

“Would you stop that? I wanted to help.”

“Okay, c'mere. Let's sit down.”

“No, I think I should get going.”

“Nonsense. I'm not going to let you drive until you feel better.”

He yields with a long exhale, and follows Maya into the living room, where her bed is settled askew in the middle of the space.

She takes a seat on the edge of the mattress and waits for him to sit next to her.

“Give me your hand,” she shows her palm up, as his eyes narrow. “C'mon, don't be a baby, give me your hand, Berzatto.”

“When did you become so bossy?” He slowly lifts his hand and as he lays it on top of her palm, his fingers tremble upon contact with her skin. Maya then uses her opposite hand to clip the webbing between his thumb and pointer fingers with her own and begins massaging that spot.

“My friend Sierra is really into acupressure. She says this is a pressure point that helps with headaches.” She explains while slowly increasing the force. “Does it hurt?”

“Not one bit. Is that like acupuncture?” His voice comes as a whisper as he focuses on her diligent fingers.

“Kinda. I think. I’m not really sure.”

“You don't have to fix me, you know?”

“I'm not trying to fix you, Bear. I just wanna make you feel better.”

“Admit it. You just love a good wounded animal.”

She smiles softly, placing his hand down on his knee and picking up the other. “Does it feel any different?”

He’s not really sure, it wasn’t truly a headache that led them to take that pill but the annoying rambling of his thoughts. She shouldn’t have seen that. And he shouldn’t have lied. But having her hands on his like this is straight up lovely. Inside of him, it truly feels like something is broken, wounded, and missing, and this is giving him a sliver of relief as he waits for the pill to kick in. If he was a better man, he’d tell her the truth. But he’s too far gone for saving. All he can do is keep that facade up.

“Does it?” She insists after not getting an answer.

“A little.”

“Do you wanna lay down?”

Swallowing, he responds with a nod, and they both lean back on the mattress at the same time. Looking at the ceiling, she keeps kneading that pressure point, unsure if she’s even doing it right.

They stay in comfortable silence for a good five minutes and when she finally places his hand down, Maya glances to the side and sees that his eyes have closed, and his chest gently rising and falling. She calls his name softly, but she can see that behind the sharp edges of his face and the ever-growing shade of his beard, he’s truly exhausted, so she doesn’t insist. She extends her hand to turn off the lamp, and curls on the other side of the bed without disturbing his sleep.

“Good night,” she says softly and closes her eyes.

From a dusty corner of her mind comes crawling that little forgotten part that used to harbor a lot of feelings for Michael. Though a few weeks ago he seemed practically the same Michael she knew, over the past month she’s keenly noticed little changes here and there. His eyes sometimes cast a dark shade tainted in nothing but sadness, it’s barely noticeable for other people. It comes and goes, but it tells her he’s not truly as happy as he pretends to be.

Michael wakes up disoriented at the crack of dawn.

It takes him a few seconds to remember he’s still in Mayas’ bed in the middle of her living room and that the weight that has his arm pinned is her body pressed against his. She’s warmly snuggled on his side, with her arms tucked between his chest and hers, and a peaceful expression on her beautiful face. She’s so awfully close, he can smell the scent of her hair, and feel the heat of her breath every time she exhales.

It's such an odd moment for him to have her that close. He's unsure of whether it would be better to slip out of bed unnoticed before she wakes up, or just stay there and watch her sleep for a bit longer. Either option would make him look like a creep, he thinks. So he opts to gently wake her up. His free hand reaches to his forehead to move a stand of hair away. Her brow scrunches as his light-feather touch grazes her skin. His lips curve up as he traces the shell of her ear to see her stir awake. She blinks slowly a couple of times until her focus shifts onto him.

“Hey, Maybird.”

“Hey.” Her lips move, it's barely audible.

“Sorry, I fell asleep.” His fingers absentmindedly massage her earlobe.

She's so stunned by waking up to that level of intimacy, she simply nods, as her mouth softly draws a smile.

“It's fine. Does your head feel better?”

“Much better. That pressure thing really worked.”

“I'm glad.”

“Listen, I gotta go open. Maybe we could do something later?”

“Okay,” she swallows nervously, hoping that waking up with him like this isn't just a dream. “Can you do me a favor first?”

“Sure.”

“Can you stay five more minutes?”

“I uh… I think I can,” against his better judgment, he decides he can stay for a few minutes more holding her.

The way her lips pull up timidly at the corners, revealing the dimples framing her mouth, completely disarms him. He’s always felt a certain affinity towards her, but being this close to her awakes a longing within that feels dangerous. He can’t bring someone new into his life. Not while everything around him is falling apart. It’s already hard enough having to pretend around other people.

He couldn’t do that to her. He won’t.

Michael will have to fight harder because when her arm tucks around his waist he can’t help but press his lips against her forehead.

Chapter 4: Hard nut to crack

Four months later…

After that initial moment of weakness when he fell asleep on her bed, he fought hard to elude that odd longing that has only grown into a big mass of love toward Maya. To anyone else in the world, a feeling as big as that would be a blessing, especially when it's reciprocated. To Michael, it's a weakness he can't afford right now.

Spending all that time with Maya has been like discovering a whole new planet Michael never thought existed. She's all vast, uncharted territory that fazes him more than it should. Despite his best efforts, he’s fallen into her alluring orbit and can’t find the way out into his own universe.

Far gone is that moody teenager that would mumble a few words here and there. And now there's this tragically stunning woman that looks you directly in the eye, says anything that crosses her mind, and laughs without a care in the world.

Though falling in love with her wouldn’t be completely wrong, it's not quite right either. It fills him with guilt to think about her in that manner. Moreover, it feels like a betrayal to Carmy, who’s far away in a different continent, prospering in his craft.

Michael tries to fool himself into believing that this is just temporary infatuation. He’s even attempted several times to convince her to get in touch with Carmy but hasn’t succeeded. It’d be easier for him if she were to put her focus on someone else instead of him. He has nothing to offer to her and has deemed himself unworthy of her, or anyone for that matter. If she only knew what’s really going on with him, she wouldn’t want Michael nearly as she believes she does.

Layer by layer, she’s tearing all his walls and defenses down. And after all the back and forth, he's absolutely sure she wants more than he can offer her. She’s been giving him the right signals. She doesn't shy away from it. Maya is direct and impulsive, and everything about her is fascinating and intimidating.

It’s time to either cut her loose, or accept that he’s madly in love with her and do something about it.

Amidst coming to terms with a final decision, he's lured into a surprise party she's organized for his birthday.

Michael is left speechless by her determination. And a little annoyed too for reasons he can't explain. To be honest, he’s never been a fan of surprise parties, but the main problem is that this would make things much harder for him to let her down easily. She’s carved herself into his life and the longer he drags this out, the worse this is going to hurt.

He’s aware that it’s selfish and obtuse of him for being that ungrateful that someone who cares that profoundly about him, that they would go all out to prove that. He feels like an asshole, but the train has already left the station.

Using the same tiring self-defense mechanism, he draws his best smile and brings out the Michael everyone seems to love. Not without help. There's always that crutch tucked in his wallet in the form of a pill. Being high numbs him enough to deal with the situation.

The cherry on top comes at the end of the night, when he walks her up to her car and asks if he's had a good time. He lies through his teeth and for the first time, he can tell Maya is not buying it. Perhaps she never did, but he's well-versed on her tells by now, and he can clearly see she's fed up with all the bullshit that comes out of his mouth.

“Look, it's not that I didn't like the party. It's just that I hate surprises, and I was exhausted today. But it was a nice thought, sweetheart. I just… I wasn't in the right mood.” It's seemingly convincing the second time around, but her face shows nothing but regret. “I love the jacket you bought me, though.”

Michael has never been interested in fashion, but he's always loved vintage jackets, and the one she picked it's a perfect addition to his collection. It's a bomber jacket, aviator style, in brown leather with a couple of patches and fur collar.

As they reach Maya's car, they come to a stop. She turns to him, “I know I can be a little too much sometimes. But I promise no more surprises from now on.”

“You and I both know, you won’t be able to keep that promise even if your life depended on it. That's part of what makes you– you, sweetheart. Don’t let my bad mood ruin that.”

“I’ll try.”

After a beat, without hesitation she leans in to leave a goodnight kiss on his bearded cheek and on a whim, she decides to press a second one on his lips.

It takes him completely aback. He wants to dive so badly into her mouth, but he freezes on the spot. And when Maya attempts to deepen the kiss, he finally reacts by placing a placating hand on her shoulder as he pulls his head back.

“I'm… I'm sorry we can't do this, Maya.”

“Wait, I thought… Did I misread something?”

“No, you didn’t misread anything. I just can’t do this.”

“Why?”

“I can't.”

“You can't or don’t want to?”

“Guess I don’t want to.”

“Can you at least tell me why? Did I do something wrong?”

“You did nothing wrong, sweetheart.” He wants to spill out the old – it's not you, it's me – excuse, but he refrains. Every thought and action go against every good instinct he's ever had. He hates himself for making her feel insecure. And yet, he can't backtrack now.

“Stop calling me sweetheart. You see how misleading that is?”

“Sorry. I think I gave you the wrong impression.”

Her eyes narrow, and he can see the gears turning for a long moment before opening her mouth.

“I don't think you gave me the wrong impression, Michael. I think you're too chickenshit to admit that there's something between us and, for whatever reason, you're just taking the coward's way out. You've been weird the whole night, especially with me. I just threw a party just for you, the least you can do is tell me why.”

“I didn't ask you to do that. And I don't owe telling you shit! I was trying to let you go easy, but nothing is ever easy with you. So I'll just say it. This, you and me, is never going to happen.”

It sounds ridiculous as it comes out of his mouth, but he stands firm on that statement as her heart breaks in front of him.

In the end, it'd be better for her, he believes.

[breathing-the-same-air]

Hey, lovely souls. Just here to spread a kind word for anyone who's feeling (understandably) down today🩷

So OFMD has been officially cancelled. Is this the end? Of course not. It will never be.

I mean, even if we'd got S3 there would have been an end to it too. Is it unfair that our awesome cast & producers didn't get to finish what they started in the way they envisioned it? Of course. Is the tv industry absolute shit? Hell yes! So many good shows are cancelled every day, and so many more never even get to exist. We got OFMD for two seasons, a blessing none of us ever expected, that changed our lives in so many ways, that saved so many lives. And if you think about the ending, even though the last episode was rushed and budget was cut and all, we still got such a wonderful, poetic ending, Ed and Stede are together in their inn, love in their eyes, they're safe, they're happy, honestly I couldn't have asked for anything better.

The thing is, things in life are limited (apparently), but the underlying truth to that is that things that truly matter are infinite.

How so? I'll tell you a scientific truth: time does not exist, at least not as we understand it. Because time is just like space, ever-present, every moment in time is actually forever alive. Nothing can ever truly die.

Which leads to another truth: we are infinite, just like the Universe, for we are Universe too. We are stardust and love, and Love is infinite.

We are all one, you and I and everyone out there, we're one same thing. There is no end to something that was created with love. And damn, I've never seen such an outrageous, wonderful outburst of love in my whole life! There is true magic in what we created together, fans, cast, crew, producers... we healed one another, we came together because one day someone just as crazy as us envisioned this absolutely mad world of kindness and inclusion and diversity and sheer joy and against all odds the moment we saw it we jumped on the ship without thinking twice. We made it possible for this show to get a second season, and more than anything, we built this wonderful world around it.

Stories are so much more than imagination, they're not just actors playing a role, there is a point where it stops being just a story and becomes a world on its own, and that world translates into our world, and when that magic happens, when that bridge is created, something so much bigger emerges that forever merges both worlds. It's magic and it's a blessing and I can't but be thankful for it.

My loves, I know you're sad right now. I know we all are struggling for one reason or another, we're all fighting our own battles, be it about physical or mental health, work, study, family, discrimination, or anything else. And OFMD has fought by our side and helped us win so many of those battles already. So when you're in middle of the darkness and can't imagine there could ever be light outside, remember this: we are all with you, right here, right now. Wherever you are, we are with you, and OFMD is with you. Because the things we love do never truly leave us.

We keep saying that OFMD changed us, right? That means that it's become a part of us.

OFMD is and will forever be a part of who you are—and in you, it will live on forever. Be grateful, be immensely grateful, for gratefulness is the vibration that heals the fabric of the Universe and makes miracle happens. Crew, we got something we could never have imagined to begin with!! We are so, so lucky to have had this blessing.

Take the time you need to heal, cry, let out all your pain. But then please be brave and choose kindness, just like OFMD has taught us to. Choose to raise your vibration to that of love and gentleness and dare to believe that life has wonderful things waiting for you. There is hope, there is light, there is magic in your future, a whole life just waiting for you to have the courage to take the next step.

What do you think the crew of the Revenge would have done if they had been told their ship was going to forever stop sailing? They would have thrown another Calypso's birthday party just to celebrate the chance they had to spend so much time there together, and they would have looked forward, found new reasons to be happy, and a new life. Open an inn, for instance!

They would not want us to cry, they would like us to smile and be happy because of the journey we've shared. Or at least, smile through our tears!

You are loved, you are important, your very existence is an absolute blessing to this world. Please never stop being your awesome, beautiful, magical self, because the world needs you exactly as you are- that is why you are here!

Cheer up Crew - we have been so immensely blessed. Can only be thankful 🙏💜🏴‍☠️🖤

[eyesonstars-feetonground]

Jamie didn’t forgive his dad’s abuse; he let go of the control his father has over him: Ted Lasso 3x11

Watched Ted Lasso 3.11 last night, and I really regret going on social media to see peoples’ takes before watching the actual episode. Based on some reactions, I went in scared about how bad they fucked up, and came out bewildered at a general lack of media literacy and bad faith people have in shows they profess to like?? 

Tons of people with more relevant life experience have spoken about the controversial plot line of Jamie “forgiving” his dad, but it truly did not read to me like a story of a victim forgiving an abuser and letting them get away with stuff or even inviting said abuse back in their life. His mom, who had the most significant conversation with him in the episode imo, insists that his dad won’t change and embodies the “fuck him” attitude. 

However, this episode also makes it clear that isn’t working for Jamie! He is constantly affected by the specter of his dad (looking back in the stands over and over, clearly worried about seeing him after a long gap), regardless of his dad actually being there. 

Explicitly, textually, within the show, any forgiveness would be for Jamie, not his dad. But also, nothing in the show indicates that Jamie actually forgives his dad, even after talking to Ted. 

Instead, to me, it reads far more like Jamie letting go of the control his dad has over him, despite not even being present. Before the conversation, the stands are a source of fear and anxiety for him (get Phil Dunster an emmy!!), but not only because the Man City supporters are booing him, but because he connects that to his dad (his mom literally says that his dad will be in the stands booing him, for him, all those Man City fans hating him could camouflage the larger threat of his dad).

After the talk, he taunts the crowd back, essentially letting go of that fear to better heal himself, taking control of a threat that isn’t really a threat at all. He is taking his mother’s advice to let his father out of his life, to stop proving anything to him, to stop setting himself up in opposition of his dad - hence the crucial climax of him making a “selfish”, solo goal, despite that being something his dad would want from him. 

In regards to the text to his dad at the end, it was the most bland text I’ve ever seen. There was no forgiveness or emotion to him hoping his dad would be okay, it’s like a text you sent to an acquaintance from ten years ago because you heard their dog died. Instead, this is also Jame in fact letting go of his anxiety and fear - multiple times, he is anxious *because* the last time he talked to his dad was when his dad showed up unexpectedly in Wembley, and he’s constantly paranoid it will happen again. In my mind, this is Jamie taking control of the situation while being emotionally distant in order to cut that sense of anxiety out and make the first step toward that inevitable meeting again. He is reducing his dad from a terrifying unknown to a situation he starts and can control. 

Because this time Jamie knows he will be able to handle whatever is thrown at him; not because he deserves or accepts abuse but because even if abuse is doled out to him as a result of reaching out, the rest of the episode shows how much love he is surrounded by, how much support. When the announcer says “this must be so meaningful to his family,” it is his mom + stepdad, his coaches, his fans, and his team we see first. His dad is an afterthought (though I think it is completely in character for the “forgive and humanize everyone” show to have his dad also choose to heal - completely separate from Jamie’s own journey or even his knowing.)

And that the direction he has chosen to take is in honor of that love, and for that love of his team and his real family. 

People keep saying he should have cut his dad out entirely, but he is already doing that at the start of the episode, and for this specific person and situation, it isn’t working. It isn’t contributing to his healing process, and it seems kind of one note for everyone to insist that all victims be able to or willing to cut people out of their life. Peoples’ relationships to their abusers is not black and white, which the show has already demonstrated with the fact that Rebecca and Rupert can have good times together while she still has strict boundaries and knows he was and is abusive. 

I thought Jamie’s story was a well done, nuanced take that didn’t give an inch to his father’s previous treatment of him, from Jamie or the people around him. I believe even Ted offers the path of forgiveness because he recognizes Jamie is in a place for it - an emotional place where he has moved beyond anger and spite, and a physical place where his dad doesn’t present physical danger to him. The episode was so sincere in showing how badly his dad’s abuse has hurt and damaged Jamie, and how forgiveness, for him, means choosing to let that relationship stay in the past and move on.  

Respect to everyone’s opinions though!!! I think it’s totally okay to be critical of the show, especially when some story lines are so important and sensitive. I just truly didn’t even see the biggest issue most people have with the plot line, which is a sincere forgiveness of abuse i.e. that the abuse was okay. I definitely also think him blocking his dad would be another way to get control over his anxieties, but not one I think meshes with the tone of the show.  

Anyway, sorry for the rant, but I loved the episode—though I do think next week will rip my heart out. 

[witchykittyy]

Agreement 💖

@marcyyywukinnie asked: Hi could you make a fanfic Yandare Blitzo x reader x Yandare Stolas where they just fight about reader, before coming to terms that theyll share them??

I am soooooooo sorry about how late this is!!! I really am. Life's been really hectic and I went through a very depressive episode but I promise to be on top of stuff more often! I really hope you like it! ❤ Sorry if its not really enough fighting per say. 😅

TW: Demons, Hell, Blood, Arguing, Cursing (lots of it), Mentions of kidnapping, Stalking, and other yandere themes.

"Damn that was a fuck ton of clients!!!" Millie jumped up into Moxxie's arms pumped and covered in blood. "Yea it was and it was so fucking awesome! But I think imma head in for the night." You're the newest member of I.M.P. A few days ago you saw their help wanted poster and decided you needed the extra money so you decided to join. You got along really well with Moxxie, Millie and surprisingly Loona. The only person who doesn't seem to like you is Blitzo. He was always staring at you. Watching your every move like he's waiting for you to do something wrong. So you always tend to keep your distance.

"Yea I think me and Millie have had enough excitement for today as well. Goodbye sir! Goodbye Y/N!" "Bye Blizto! Bye N/N!" Moxxie and Millie wave goodbye as they leave. "Whatever, bye." Loona continues on reading her magazine. "Bye guys!" You wave goodbye to them sweetly. "Bye lovebirds! Don't get too kinky while I'm away!" You can almost hear Moxxie rolling his eyes at those words and you chuckle. Now its just you, Loona and... Blitzo. Though your back is turned you can feel his eyes burning into info our skin, its very unsettling so with out turning around you decided to say your goodbyes and leave. "Bye Blitzo! Bye Loona!" "Bye dork." Blitzo doesnt say anything and you start to walk off sill feeling his gaze on you. Suddenly he says "See you soon Y/N"

You got home and were extremely exhausted as you flopped down onto your semi comfortable bed. Due to only recently having a job you dont have that much money to buy yourself a nice place so for right now you're stuck in this crummy apartment. Even though you didnt mind your situation someone else did.

Stolas has been watching you from the day he saw you in the I.M.P headquarters while he was visiting Blitzo. He's been obssessed with you ever since he saw you and has stalked you finding out your likes, habits, dislikes and everything else about you. He truly believes that you deserve so much better than what you have. He loves you and believes you deserve to be treated like a queen. A problem with that is that Blizto is also in love with you. Stolas notices the stares he give you and the longing look in his eyes. He's sure Blitzo has noticed his interest as well and thats probably why Blitzo hasnt spoken to him. But nevermind that.

You change into your PJ', get into bed and start scrolling through Helltok. "Ah shit its getting dark and I have to work tomorrow" you sigh. "I guess I should go to bed as Moxxie would say thats the responsible thing to do." You turn off your phone and go to bed. Stolas stares at you from the window wishing that he were next to you.

After a while he sees someone climbing onto your balcony. He's about to go stop him but then the two lock eyes. "Stolas?! The fuck are you doing here?!" He almost tumbles off the balcony from the surprise. "I should be asking you the same question Blitzo." "Look dipshit im doing the same thing you are but going inside." Blizto starts opening the window. "Wait! We shouldnt do that it invading her privacy." He goes to stop him but then Blitzo slaps his hand away. "Oh and stalking her isnt invading her privacy?! Look just leave ok if you dont wanna do this. Not like I want you stealing my girl anyways." He grumbles the last part but Stolas is able to hear him. "Well I sure as hell am not leaving her alone with you." "Then come in with me." He grabs Stolas's hand and stealthly brings him into the room. Stolas blushes at the sudden contact. 'Wait why'd he blush? What the hell is happening to him?'

You're dead asleep on the bed. "So smart ass what do we do now?" He tries to cover up the fact that grabbing Blitzo's hand made him blush. "We look around bird brain." They start looking around the crummy place, dodging the clothes thrown on the floor. Eventually after looking around for a while Blitzo decides to look your computer as Stolas watches you sleep peacefully. Out of the corner of his eye Stolas sees him breaking into your computer. "Hey!" He yells silently. "What do you think you're doing?" "I'm looking through her computer dipshit." Blitzo rolls his eyes as though its obvious. "Well yes I know that but why?" "To make sure she ain't seeing some other loser."

Blitzo searches and suddenly stops dead in his tracks. "You need to see this birdie." They stare at the computer reading you're messages with some guy named Dennis. "Oh hell no" they growl out in unison. You whine and shift in your sleep as they go dead silent. Once they're sure you're not awake they continue. "We can't let this shit happen." Blitzo growls with malice. "I completely agree. This dirt bag isn't good enough for our Y/N." Stolas nods. "Wait, our?" "Well yes I suppose we'll need to team up to stop this guy and ensure that she stays with us. Is that an ok arrangement?" Stolas questions. "Yea.. Thatd be great." Blitzo looks down blushing madly.

[semisolidmind]

How did Wukong find MK and decide to adopt him?

non-spoiler answer: wukong found mk when he was small, had a rare moment of empathy, decided to adopt him and raise him as his own.

(season 4 spoilers: context taken from later episodes in the season. also bad end mk lore, ig)

spoiler answer: stone egg.

mk comes from a similar place as wukong; made from the same stone, although mk came out as a young child instead of a fully formed adult. despite having a small thought about "sparing" mk the pain of a life as a monkey demon by killing him then and there, wukong decides to adopt mk and raise him to be as strong as he can. think of it like an extra middle finger to heaven from the monkey king (that and the fact that the only person wukong ever would have felt comfortable having kids with has been dead for thousands of years and he isn't sure if she's gonna reincarnate, so mk may be his only chance at having a legacy).

i have a theory that the reason mk looks human in the show is because he saw humans when he wandered into the city, so he unconsciously changed his form to look more like them. like, the magic that created him knew he'd be safer if he looked human.

however, seeing as villain wukong decided to adopt him and raise him alongside the other monkeys of ffm from the beginning, mk's form in this au is similar to the monkey form we see in the show. he has better access to his powers that way, on top of swk actively discouraging him from looking human.

it's like the reverse of what we see in the show. mk has been raised (by wukong) to believe that humans are mostly terrible, so he should be happy being a monkey demon. when he does his gold magic glitch-out thing from the later episodes, he looks human during said glitch. it's a sort of reflection of his mental state; he's come to see himself as more human because of his exposure to mortal society and his changing ideals, but the distrustful, cautious side of him can't face that fact.

the mk of this au has some considerable differences from the normal mk. the biggest one being his skill level in combat. in this iteration, swk has been training him from day one, so that classic mk clumsiness is practically nonexistent. the kid's basically a living weapon (almost) on par with one of the greatest fighters in the world. there's an innate power and grace in his movement.

he's a lot more brutal in his fighting style as well. you get trained by a villain notorious for going all-out, you learn to not pull your punches no matter the opponent.

this is compounded by the fact that mk has his own staff. villain wukong isn't about to give up his signature weapon, and it doesn't seem like that much of a stretch to just...go steal another magic pillar from the eastern dragon palace.

"Like that old codger could stop us. C'mon, kid, let's go get you a real weapon."

another difference is mk's general attitude. sure, he's still a fairly happy kid, but he was raised to always keep his guard up. strike first, ask questions later. his first meeting with mei was an all out battle, because he didn't understand that this dragon decendent wasn't trying to hurt him. he's a bit more serious here too, and it's mei who's the upbeat one between the two of them. she's also the one that introduced him to pigsy, sandy, and tang. she's kinda his safety net as far as mortal interactions go, teaching him the ins and outs of mortal culture.

this version of mk can kick red son's ass stupidly easily. the whole dbk family, really. to the point that red son's terrified of him, though he tries to hide it behind a superior attitude. this could go for all the demons in the show, really. mk scares all of them to a certain degree.

he wouldn't reallyneed his friends help, in this au. he's got this idea in his head that he shouldn't be dragging his much less powerful friends into fights he can easily finish on his own. he's been raised with a "help yourself, because noone else will. in fact they'll be in your way" type mentality when it comes to battle.

his story in this au is more of a "allow people to get close to and care about you, not everyone is trying to kill you" arc, instead of a power-up, training arc. mk needs to learn to let people help him, and allow himself to be open.

to sum it up; mk is seen as a monster like his father, and is learning to be less of a monster. he wants to be a hero.

"I...I don't wanna be like him. I wanna be better, I want to use this power to help people, to protect them! I just...don't want to be what the world thinks I should be."

[olreid]

riverdale is.. schrodinger's show? ??

lol re tags on this post i assume? this is actually alfie @hypokeimena's phrase #alfiepilled and literally just means that he does not watch the show but does watch us watch the show and so always at any time any plot point or series of events is possible because riverdale exists in a state of totipotency right up until the moment of viewing the footage to see what actually happened which again he crucially never does.

HOWEVER i have adopted this phrase into my own riverdale lexicon because i think it helps to get at something which is usually kind of difficult to articulate about riverdale's method. riverdale, more than your typical tv program, IS a show where anything can happen, and that quality has not changed or diminished over the course of its run. typically, in tv, as you build out the world and the characters, you become better able to predict what will happen next; the window of probable events grows smaller, even if only slightly. people pair off, foreclosing other relationships; they pick a career, choosing one life over other possible lives they might have lived. even shocking plot twists are operating under a set of basic rules that govern how the setting and the genre operate such that the overarching parameters of what is possible in the world don't change. but not so in riverdale! it's not committed to the sanctity of its own canon, which frees the team up to create a show that reminds me more of a collage; different narrative pieces get swapped around to see what kinds of meanings they might produce with very little preciousness about continuity or canonicity compared to other programs. different storylines are repeated by filtering them through new genres to see what emerges. season 7's premise is a perfect example of this!

the other thing about riverdale that makes it schrodinger's show to me is that it is always operating on multiple registers of reality simultaneously, so that any number of things might be happening at once depending on how you're reading it. for example, in the season 3 g&g plot, many episodes are framed by games of g&g that precisely mirror real-world events going on concurrently in town, e.g. jughead accurately describing archie's prison break as it's happening even though he's not physically there. maybe this is just an extradiegetic narrative device; maybe particular characters are omniscient or psychic in some way; maybe the game itself has powers that allow it to shape the world or the story; maybe riverdale itself only has a certain number of pre-set stories that it can tell. the list could go on. the point is that all of these are equally likely; riverdale does not privilege realism or groundedness, really the opposite, but neither does it often confirm for certain that something supernatural is happening. rather, the viewer is left to interpret for themselves; to choose between these options if they want, or perhaps instead to hold them all simultaneously. indeed, riverdale never forces you to pick, to narrow it down; in riverdale, more than any other show i've ever watched, you can have everything you want, and you can have it all at once, because there is no definitive reality, which means everything is pretty much equally (un)real. the cw is pioneering quantum television and we're here to witness it! what a time to be alive!!!

[call-sign-jinx]

Endless Love (Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw) - Chapter 1

summary - Y/N Y/L/N and Bradley Bradshaw have had a rivalry ever since they both attended the same academy. Every chance they took, they always tried to one up each other. One day, Bradley takes the rivalry too far and Y/N ends up in the hospital with serious injuries. Will it make Y/N want to get him back twice as worse? Or will it make her realise that this rivalry between them is childish?

warnings - swearing, enemies to lovers, mention of serious injury, traumatic episodes, reader traumatised from what happened, smut, slowburn, seizures, flashbacks

a/n - hiya girliesss! this is my very FIRST series on here! i rlly hope u guys like it! enjoyyyyyy! xx

Bradley Bradshaw and I have always had a rivalry since we were at the academy. I think I'm better than him, he thinks he's better than me. However, on paper, we were just as good as each other. Same scores on all tests and practical tests. Same amount of medals. Same amount of almost everything. I realised that, but wanted to change the fact that we were the same. Because I earned my place at Top Gun. I literally flew from Greater Manchester to San Diego for Top Gun! I had to work hard enough for the money, enough money for the ticket, visa, small shitty apartment, furniture. Everything.

When I was talking to Cyclone the other day - because of an argument that me and Rooster had - he said that we were actually quite alike. I scoffed at the idea. How could me and Bradshaw me similar? I completely disagreed with Cyclone and voiced my opinions, knowing what the consequences of opposing my superior, but to my shock he respected me for standing up to him as not many people do these days. His words, not mine. 

It was now the first official day at Top Gun, well, not really, but everyone was going to be at the Hard Deck to meet each other and celebrate that we got into Top Gun, the best of the best.

I was one of the last to arrive (shit traffic) and my eyes immediately found another female aviator. Thank fucking God. So glad I'm not the only one. I confidently walked over and introduced myself.

"Hi, I'm Vandal. But you can call me Y/N." I stick my hand out for her to shake and I can tell she is just as relieved as me to not be the only woman here.

"Phoenix, but you can call me Nat." She had a confident smile on her face.

She told me everyone's names, Hangman (who she calls Bagman to piss him off), Coyote (basically Hangman's ass kisser, Nat's words not mine), Fanboy, Payback, Bob and then she pointed to the person I disliked most in the world, Bradshaw. Great, I knew he was coming to Top Gun because he tried to shove it in my face when he found out, but I just wish he wasn't here right now. Phoenix obviously saw the way I rolled my eyes with a groan. 

"What? You don't like the pornstache?" She has a smirk on her face as she points over to Bradshaw who is most definitely locking lips with some poor blonde girl who thinks he's into her for more than sex.

"Well, on top of that, we went to the same academy. He was a total prick. But so was I. In a way, we kind of have a rivalry going on. About who is better than who." Phoenix raised a brow as she listened.

"Oh so you're the 'British bitch' he's always complaining about!" Phoenix has a happy but surprised look on her face.

"British bitch? He needs some originality with insults." I roll my eyes as my gaze finds Bradshaw, as per, picking up girls after ditching the blonde. Guess he got bored of her.

"Why do you two have that rivalry anyway? I've asked Rooster about it but he never actually answers it." I roll my eyes again and sigh.

"Because we both can't put up with being the same, one of us has to be on top. It best be me though, I don't like coming second." I cross my arms as I glare at Bradshaw. I hate him. Why can't he just put up with being second? I mean, I had to most my life until I joined the academy, so it mustn't be that hard.

"Seems you're quite the competitive one." Phoenix has a smirk on her face as she crosses her arms. "Want a game of pool? Heard Bagman is 'undefeated' so I really hope you can burst his ego."

My ears immediately perk up at the mention of a competition. especially someone who is 'undefeated.' Not for any longer though.

--------------------------------------------

"Oh come on! Beginners luck!" Hangman couldn't deal with the fact that someone actually beat him at pool, let alone a female. I smirk at him as I have just potted the winning ball.

"Come on Jake, you gotta just deal with finally being beaten." I raise a brow, my smirk growing bigger as Hangman's anger is seeping from him.

"What about a game of darts? Closest to... 180 wins." Hangman sticks out his hand for me to shake, I fake thinking about it for a second before eagerly shaking his hand.

"Ladies first." Hangman gestures for me to stand in front of the dart board.

"Age before beauty." I gesture for him to stand there, he stood in front of the dart board in defeat. He threw all 3 darts and scored 175. Now its my turn.

I take a deep breath and focus. I threw my first dart. It landed on a triple 20! Now I just have to get two more. I threw my second dart, landed on a triple 20 again. I could hear Hangman groan. Which only made my confidence grow. I threw my last dart. It landed on another triple 20!

"That's 180 Hangman! I win!" I had a triumphant smirk on my face as Hangman has all but defeat in his eyes.

"Aww don't be so upset Hangman, you're still second best." I had an evil smirk as Phoenix can't help but laugh.

"How? No one and I mean no one has ever beaten me at darts!" Hangman runs a hand through his hair as he gets a better look at the dart board to see if one of my darts was just close enough to the area above or below it. They weren't.

"Guess because I wasn't here." I pat him on his back and gesture to the bartender if I could get two more beers. One for me and one for Hangman.

"Here Bagman, to make you feel better." I giggle as I pass him the beer.

The rest of the night went by like a breeze. Hangman demanding a rematch every 10 minutes, me and Phoenix gossiping, Fanboy, Payback and Coyote playing pool, Bob sat near the wall nearly out of sight, and Bradshaw, at the piano with another girl on his lap as he sings Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis.

[skibasyndrome]

hi i just have to say! that i think the writing for wille is perfect this season. kinda annoys me that this is a hot take but! i think it makes SENSE. everyone wants wille to be this perfect boy but he actually doesn’t have the foundation to be that person. he had a sterile and isolated upbringing where he has never had any agency while at the same time having obscene wealth and anything he could ever want except for LOVE. like cmon the only people who have probably ever said no to him were his parents!! and they were absent and loveless! and then he loses the closest person in his life only to find out that he wasn’t who he thought he was and AND that maybe he wouldn’t have accepted him. and for so long wille kept erik’s love close to his chest and used it as a life raft. his parents can’t accept him his classmates can’t accept him the world can’t accept him simon can’t see his side but erik. erik would love me through all of this even if my parents won’t. but that comes crumbling down! and i know i am just rehashing the plot of the series but BE FOR REAL EVERYONE. he was set up to be a cold, selfish, privileged asshole and the fact that he fighting back against this and having this deep internal struggle of just wanting LOVE and wanting to be with the boy he loves but he can’t and no one understands is! brave and really hard! the isolation he must feel!!! and also like!!! HE IS A PRINCE HE IS SURROUNDED BY YES MEN!! ofc he has an attitude. also he’s a teenager hello??? the writing makes sense it’s so goooodddd to me personally and edvin Understands wille and portrays this insane struggle so so well. anyway i felt the need to step in and say my piece bc everyone always gushes about how they love that wille isn’t perfect but when they portray all this internal struggle coming to the surface in unhealthy ways everyone throws a fit and turns on him. justice for wille!!!! yeah he’s an asshole but he is trying!!!!!!!! (sorry this is long no one i know irl watches this show so i have opinions)

don't apologize for this anon, THANK YOU for your great points!!!!

I agree 100% with this. Wille has always been this very flawed, very sheltered character and I LOVE what they did with him in s3 even though it really, really hurt to see it, naturally, because I just want these characters to be happy together (and I still think they will be, after some work and more talking and Wille making some decisions). But yeah, this isn't new for Wille, Wille wasn't "ruined" this season, that's the Wille we know and love and yeah, that makes a bunch of questionable decisions because of the fucked up way he grew up. But I mean that's the beauty, right, he found a guy who can finally show him that that's not something he has to be stuck in, that change is possible, that working on himself and getting better for himself and the people around him is not only important but possible. I mean Wille literally told Simon he learns from him. This id anything but easy and anything but a linear process, but he's there and he's willing to do the work!!!!!

I really try not to get too deep into any of the discussions, especially about character morality, just because we're still one episode short and also because the onslaught of theories and opinions and everything is nerve-wracking as is and I try to guard a last piece of sanity, but seriously THANK YOU for this. You put into words what I haven't been able to 💜

and feel free to come discuss YR with me any time! I know the struggle, so please, let those thoughts out :)

[nozomijoestar]

LIFTING THE SPOILER WARNING ON THIS POST FOR LAUNCH DAY

Here's my initial analysis and thoughts on Asuka's ending (character episode) in Tekken 8

caught yearning in 1080p

handsome

thinking abt getting students now that the Zaibatsu ate shit (btw you don't find out the Zaibatsu is pretty much on track to being done with no leader again, which is why they continue the tournament presumably after the final battle unless you look through the character episodes, not the main story, for some fucking reason)

Asuka finally smiled at her accepting her and the feeling is mutual, this ending had great role reversal in the sense instead of previously only getting clear insight into Lili's feelings and thoughts now we're openly getting them from Asuka in response- she also felt tempted to give in to her old reaction first think later ways but here she's finally thinking before deciding it doesn't matter why, she enjoys fighting Lili and she finally seems to recognize what Lili's schemes are about on a level (wanting Asuka's attention and getting back at her for having lost), this is the closest so far we've ever gotten to a "I like you too"

this is on top of the teasing and compliment she gave Lili's ability in the same scene, and also correcting Lili on the Kazama Motto Asuka learned, which only Asuka could have told her at some point suggesting further closeness

"Softness overcomes hardness" you two are (HOPEFULLY) starting to change your relationship to be softer (also the hilarious hypocrisy of Asuka BARELY being a person living by any softness in practice)

I love that she even refers to Lili as "That noble (rich) girl", an ojou-sama, which is far better than calling her by nothing or using a rude form of You (anta) as in the past (and generally she's given up calling Lili by rude terms be it in the story mode or otherwise including Shaheen's ending, which is honestly more about AsuLili than him lol, it's also incredible seeing Asuka glad Lili's life was protected and joking about Lili being a handful with someone else)

And despite provoking Asuka in a very shitty way reminiscent of Feng, the premise of this ending is Asuka beating Lili at the tournament so Lili will honor her word of putting Asuka's dojo back the way it was before she bought it- which Lili does after losing rather than refuse out of spite, even if she then uses taking it in a fight to provoke Asuka again, it's nice that she IS willing to listen to Asuka when it comes to promises

honestly if you cut the entire scene into only my screenshots here it still looks so fucking gay

Video source ( @ 1:03 )

This is the de-facto best Asuka ending yet, at last she's happy, hopeful, not confused, and at some form of peace and connection in her life

ALSO ASUKA DIDN'T CALL LILI A DINGBAT SHE CALLED HER AHOU (Idiot/Moron) LIKE ALWAYS AND IT WAS SOFT THIS TIME 😭😭😭😭

Plus Asuka might finally get the dojo back up and become the next leader with Jin's image being fixed and thus how people would see Asuka since they're related, as well as the current war being over- though Reina's new devil bullshit will probably ruin this in the future

EDIT: I FORGOT TO MENTION

PAIR OF BIRDS; BIRD MOTIF FOR KAZAMAS RETURNS

I doubt these are Jun's birds specifically it's more likely just symbolic of Asuka and Lili if it means anything at all. Also doesn't have to specify meaning lovebirds, in general their characters will always be put together. But it is funny how Jun's birds always appear to show her connection to someone she loves, so there could be a parallel here that Asuka's bird imagery would represent the same sense of connection. If it is a visual metaphor for lovebirds though by the time we get Tekken 9 then, the cinema of it all.

ALSO Harada has said Jun attracts animals because of her spiritual mastery over martial arts. She's at a level of power where animals don't run because of sensing her aura; she can suppress her fighting spirit. With how at peace AND in control of herself Asuka is in this ending, maybe the birds imply she can move in a similar direction from here on. And it makes sense too because Asuka has returned to a state of equilibrium now that she doesn't have the stress of the world being in chaos affecting her. As a person who prefers being in control, she's back to feeling some control over her life.

----

THINGS I DIDN'T LIKE:

1. It's great that the tone of their relationship is now friendlier, but like in story mode and other places they appear as a pair, we're never shown anything on how they started transitioning from fighting all the time to agreeing to listen and partner up in general, nevermind during a global war they're supposed to have their own personal stakes in beyond not wanting to die (those personal stakes ended up being entirely irrelevant anyway which is it's own problem)

There's a problem present where you're shown the end result of an emotional shift with none of the journey or even a simple scene explaining how they got there, much like the main story and other characters in general many plot points and character changes are resolved off screen showing only the results with no explanation the majority of the time. In the main story this gets even more egregious because even how a character knows specific information usually doesn't get explained at all either unless it relates to Jin understanding the devil gene. This writing makes a lot of things simply happen like it's checking off a list.

In essence, WHERE is a scene connecting Asuka who did nothing but fight Lili and get pissed with her to the Asuka who's tolerant of her, is more catty and accepting than outright angry, is now willing to joke and play around with her, who taught Lili the Kazama Motto she learned (though I guess this one you can say Lili found it while looking up Asuka's family, something we ALSO don't get Asuka's thoughts on beyond surprise) and so on

2. The fact this scene ends with provoking another fight, as much as I like that it's friendly now, isn't the best direction. This fits again into problem 1; there's no on screen room to let these characters breathe and illustrate what made them change now to the viewer. There's no fresh angle given about their relationship outside fighting or even a new approach on their relationship within it. There's no pause in the formula which many people are tired of (and people are already back to calling Asuka a useless piece of shit who's a complete fucking joke, and I can't really blame them entirely because on a surface level all they see is the exact same situation as it's been for twenty years of cutscenes).

Also the logic of having this scene exist is confusing in itself. Nothing in the game story clarified if Asuka sat the tournament out or did participate but was eliminated and decided to follow Lili's progress in Rome as a spectator. A scene explaining either of those would give better weight and context to this one.

3. Zero mention of Asuka's father or his current condition

4. Having Lili imitate what Feng Wei did to dojos like Asuka's is the cruelest way she's ever provoked her. Whereas before it was often ridiculous, silly, and teasing, involving an event that led Asuka to spiral adds something uncharacteristically spiteful toward her from Lili's end. Insofar as what Lili has previously used to get her attention anyway. Keeping Asuka's trauma out of it has always seemed to be a line Lili was willing to respect. And it's off too because this is happening when they're supposed to be becoming friends/are friends now. It's too personal to be brushed off the way it is.

The only way I can rationalize it is if Asuka has let go of her anger towards what Feng did in part (but she still has a special intro where she wants to attack him on sight saying they finally meet so, I don't fuckin know, that may as well have been included as an easter egg if they're gonna do nothing with it) or she never really gave enough of a shit about the entire thing in the first place. You can make a loose argument using prior games to show Asuka never really cared about the revenge aspect as much- but her behavior sorta contradicts this at the same time. So really who fucking knows. Based on how she reacts here I guess it's not a big deal at this point cuz she doesn't get mad and jumps into messing around with Lili like a friend anyway.

Maybe this could be explained too by whatever made them act friendly now in the first place, but again we never saw that. So instead it comes out worse than if we knew.

5. WHY THE FUCK DID THEY MENTION THE ENTIRE MAIN KAZAMA FAMILY WAS ELIMINATED BY OGRE IN THE STORY MODE THEN HAVE THE NEWS NOT IMPACT ASUKA AT ALL

We also never see them discuss what Lili knows about the family in any depth between themselves

Viva le sex gay I guess but now I have more questions than answers and that's a problem when the game acts like I've been given answers it never provided. I got something I wanted but with nothing to show for it.

EDIT 1/27/2024 : However that won't discount that I do love what I received and the potential it represents; I adore this shit.

[russolover]

can i request 7 + 8 + 6 frm prompt 2 fluff/ other (6) list or 120+74+34+42 from prompt 1 please if thats okay please

Apocalypse

I’ll post your other request in a separate story :) Btw - all the titles for my fics are songs I got inspired by while writing them

Apocalypse - Cigarettes after Sex

6. “I don’t care what they think, to me, you are perfect.” 7. “You’re not going to lose me.” 8.“Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that.”

Social Media was many things. A platform for people to connect and spread happiness or to update friends and family on your life. But sadly it was also a place where lots of hatred was spread.

You and Alessia have been together for 2 years but only decided to come out to the public a few weeks ago. There were many positive messages and a lot of ship names thrown your way but there was also a certain amount of people who decided being spiteful was their way to go. Especially to the Italian.

You didn’t care about the comments since you didn’t use social media that much but if you came across one you didn’t hold back since you saw what kind of an effect it had on Alessia.

It was one of those lazy Sundays, laying on the sofa, binge-watching some episodes of friends while your girlfriend was sound asleep on top of you. You mindlessly ran your fingers through her silky hair while an occasional sigh was coming from the blonde.

The silence was interrupted by your phone ringing. On the screen you could see it was no other than tooney.

“what’s going on tooney”

You stated rather quietly not to wake your girl up.

“Why is less not picking up”

She asked abruptly.

“She’s asleep but Thank you for asking tooney, I’m fine as well”

You chuckled but quickly stopped when you heard the serious tone of her voice.

“Y/n have you been on Twitter recently”

“what no.. why?”

You started panicking slightly.

“Remember Alex?-

“Alessias ex?”

You interrupted her.

“Yeah, they released some old pictures of when they were together an-

“What the hell?!”

You screamed into the phone, startling the Italian on top of you.

“I’m sorry baby”

You squeezed her thigh as she sat up. Poor thing had no clue what was going on.

“Why are you shouting and who’s on the phone?”

She mumbled as she rubbed her eyes trying to get rid of the tiredness.

You pulled the blonde closer before putting tooney on speaker, knowing what was about to happen. Alessias Ex was a tough subject for you and for alessia. Mainly because they were trying to profit out of your girlfriends name.

Everyone wants to know why the relationship ended- how it began- how fame was changing their relationship- Questions that should never be discussed by the public or random journalists.

Once tooney explained what was going on, you and alessia took a look at Twitter to find the most spiteful and nasty comments you’ve probably experienced until now.

They started calling the Italian a cheater, since her ex didn’t state when those pictures were taken.

“Y/n should’ve never gotten with her”

“Not Russo cheating on the Football God”

“Y/N can do so much better”

You could hear alessias breathing picking up.

“Less?”

Her frown started getting bigger and the tears started rolling down her cheek. You immediately pulled her closer to you, wrapping the blonde up in a big hug.

You were furious at the people calling the most wonderful, loyal and kind hearted girl you’ve ever known those malicious things.

The crying didn’t stop, less was full on sobbing into your chest trying to form sentences.

“Baby I need you to breathe”

You whispered softly into her ear trying to calm her down while still holding her as close as possible. She only shook her head.

“Less.. c‘mon my love”

“Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that.”

This eventually guided her into slowing her breathing down and stop sobbing. The tears were still flowing though.

“I swear I didn’t chea-

She tried to say but was interrupted by you immediately.

“hey I kno-”

"I don't want to loose you"

She whispered while her breathing started picking up again.

"“You’re not going to lose me.”

You said while cradling her face in your hand trying to rub all of the tears away with your thumbs.

"Less listen to me, you're the most important person in my life and no one is going to ruin that, not those haters and especially not Alex"

"But everyone thinks-

"“I don’t care what they think, to me, you are perfect."

She didn't say anything but the tears slowly stopped and the frown was still prominent on her face. She looked down at the promise ring you gave her for your one year anniversary and started fidgeting with it.

"Come here"

You whispered, pulling her onto your lap.

"You, Alessia Mia Teresa Russo, probably have the biggest heart on this entire planet and for people to take advantage of that is not right. Those people saying mean stuff have no idea what's really going on and they try to make up fucking stories only to spread misinformation. But that's what it is, they're just random people who would never dare to say something to your face, and if they did I would have a talk with them."

A little smile appeared on her face after you finished your last sentence and repeatedly left kisses on her cheeks.

"I love you so much Y/n"

She turned around to face you and planted a sweet kiss on your lips.

"I love you mi vida"

Your heart broke at her tear stained face but you were glad that she was feeling a little bit better.

"How about ordering something from your favourite sushi place and watching Dirty dancing?"

Her blue eyes lit up by the mention of her favourite food and she gave you a proper smile which you immediately returned.

"I thought you hated dirty dancing?"

She raised her eyebrow at you while pulling you closer by your necklace, which only made your need to kiss her grow larger.

"Yeah but I love you, so I have to deal with it"

You chuckled and pressed your lips on hers, instantly relaxing into the comforting taste of her strawberry flavoured chapstick.

[inukag-archive]

Hi, I’m looking for fics where Kagome and/or Inuyasha deal with depression/anxiety. I like longer stories but one-shots are totally fine too. I would prefer stories from before 2019 so there’s no Yashahime influence. Also please no sessrin in the recs. Thank you so much!

Hi anon, thank you for the ask! Most of the fics we could find that fit your criteria are one shots, but there are a few longer stories sprinkled throughout. In order to provide more reading material, we split the list into stories written in 2019 or earlier and stories that were written after 2019 but contain no references to Yashahime (characters, plot, or otherwise). There shouldn't be any SessRin references in any of the fics either.

This is a difficult subject to search for without having read a story in its entirety, so we strongly encourage anyone who knows of any others to leave more recs in the reblogs/replies!

[2019 or Earlier]

He Just Wouldn't Stop by @artistefish (G)

Just because she's back doesn't mean there aren't scars. Some wounds take more than time to heal, and some never heal at all. A post-canon look at an unexpected repercussion of Kagome's three year absence.

--

Guilty Hero by Eggry (T)

The city is recovering after a crippling war against Naraku. But while time moves on, Inu-Yasha doesn't. Plagued with guilt over a terrible deed, alcohol is his only escape from the nightmare of reality. At their wit's end with him, Sango and Miroku are on the verge of giving up until Kagome Higurashi arrives to take him under her wing.

--

Sleep, My Dear by Stars_Sky_See (T)

Kagome was quickly adjusting to her new life with the help of her now husband. Life had all around been easier since her return and everyone was grateful. However, life wasn’t so merciful, with every two steps forward there was always one step back.

--

The Ghosts of Suicide Forest by @splendentgoddess (T)

Aokigahara, known by some as Suicide Forest. It is a place of mystery, beauty and death. Roughly 100 people go there annually to commit suicide, but why? The better question, though, is can Kagome find and rescue Yuka before it is too late?

--

Broken Glass by SleepWalkingChickens (M)

Growing up is hard, especially when things are changing. Kagome is plunged into a new world, complete with new problems. The past is hard to let go of and baggage builds up. Unravel it and you’re met with truth. Can love win over Inuyasha's sins?

--

It Goes Like This by @witchygirl99 (G)

It goes like this.

“Hey! I haven’t seen you in a while!” Kagome exclaims, smiling at him. Her eyes are dark brown and beautiful, captivating.

Five different answers pop into his head, all of them friendly and inviting for conversation. It’s not what comes out.

Inuyasha isn't the main character of anyone's story. With Kagome, that feeling starts to change.

--

[Post 2019 w/ No Yashahime References]

Pictures of Happiness by @memilylove (M)

The loss of his high school sweetheart changed more than Inuyasha realized. With the encouragement of friends, he finally gives himself another shot at getting help. The path is not easy, but he soon finds that perhaps there is a point to all this. Is it really possible to be happy again and to find that you love another?

--

Other Reasons to Stay Awake by @ajoy3fanfics (NR)

Kagome suffers from PTSD after she returns to her side of the well

--

Shattered by My-Crazy-Awesome-Sox (T)

Oneshot: Leading a double life has got to be stressful. What happens when it all starts falling apart for Kagome? Everything has been pent up for too long, and now it's all crashing down around her. For anyone who's ever had a breakdown...

--

A Horse With No Name by @roseheartwhitefox (T)

The story of what happened to Inuyasha after Kagome disappeared when the well closed for 3 years, heavily referencing the episode "The Old Sugarman Place" from "BoJack Horseman". I feel as if after everything that happened and Kagome disappeared, Inuyasha would need time to grieve the loss. This is that story. Deals with themes of depression, loneliness, and loss. 

--

Stay by @akitokihojo (G)

He nodded again, pulling away to gently press his forehead to hers for a moment. "I get it." Inuyasha breathed before leaning back to look her in the eyes. "But, one of these days you'll understand that no matter what happens, I won't take a damn thing back. You'll see that I don't want it back. I feel like my heart's safer with you, anyway."

--

Kagome's Unwitting Depression by @cstormsinukagblog (M)

Kagome sees something that she isn't meant to see, and it kind of breaks her. Can she and Inuyasha repair the damage before she gives up hope?

--

Breaking the Habit: Rewrite by @kstewdeux (M)

After being separated for six years, Inuyasha and Kagome are reunited on her side of the well. TW: SI, Mental Illness.

--

The Voice Inside My Head by @fawn-eyed-girl (E)

When Kagome returns to the Feudal era a week after a particular nasty fight with Inuyasha, he realizes something’s not right. Is it too late for Inuyasha and Kagome—have the years of fighting broken them apart for good? Or will they be able to find a way forward, together?

--

Feel free to add your own recs in the comments or reblogs! Check our Masterlist of previous lists to see which topics we've covered.  After reviewing our submission guidelines, send us an ask (here).

[napakmahal]

“ Did all this happen because I left?”

Pause girlies because this is actually kinda serious. I just got out of a depressive episode and just really wanted to give the depression girlies a lil treat. Remember: you need other people in your life when you have depression. Make friends not resources. I love y’all (angst)

How can something be so painful yet so numb at the same time? The human brain is one of the most complex systems in the universe, aside from the universe itself. How it can feel so many polar opposite things simoultaniouly, and in that creating an entire civil war within itself. How could the brain, the thing meant to be in charge with your care and wellbeing one day just decide to decrease its own activity and make you miserable? It was the worlds greatest betrayal.

You’d been lying in your bed for the past week, and you might have gotten up twice a day. Once to use the bathroom and the other to get some food and bring it right back to your bed. Everyone said it wasn’t a big deal because you were young and you were probably just in a bad mood because of your hormones. Hormones were evil enough to suction blood from your reproductive organs (usually) once a month, they couldn’t possibly be cruel enough for this.

On your overheated and whirling computer was an endless loop of lousy reality T.V shows you’d watched over and over. There’s been therapists that have said that in these times of depressive episodes, you should revert back to adding some life and movement back into your brain. Which meant doing things like crossword puzzles, working out, math games, and reading 200+ page books. All things that you could totally do and things you liked to do. But not right now. Now all you wanted was junk food and shitty TLC shows. Not some slow burn, or some huge mystery TV show that required you to remember tiny details from the beginning of the season. Reality TV was entertaining, effortless, and on loop but you’d be lying if you said everytime you heard the freaky eaters intro a little more of your brain died.

That’s the funny thing about depression. Because even though you can feel yourself slipping and drowning in total misery, there’s nothing anyone can do to save you. So you get stuck in this endless loop of self detructive behavior hoping that the pain you experience on the outside is enough to kill the thing on the inside.

You were clinically depressed, and nothing nobody did was ever going to change that. But these episodes weren’t always like this. For a while, episodes were bearable. Your ‘friend’ made them better.

You’d known Hiro for a while, meeting him on the downtown bus during sunset on a spring saturday. You thought he was cool, he thought you were pretty. But the whole girlfriend-boyfriend thing seemed uncomfortable and the labels meade things weird.

Granted you were each others first kiss. The two of you had tried to convince each other it was just because you got asked out to your eighth grade formal and you wanted to be prepared. It also didn’t help much that the more you described the dude that asked you out, the more Hiro wished he hadn’t skipped all those grades.

You never told anyone about that. Sure you could say it was a one time thing but it was hard to use that as a defense when you’d made out with him because you were bored under the dock near the beach during the summer carnival, and when you were just playing video games in his room, and when you were sitting on the steps of the museum of Japanese artifacts while sharing a soda, and the time you two were at the skatepark after it closed and you two were making out- only except that time he’d taken off his jacket.

Sure you were both fifteen but you watched people make out in the hallways at school everyday. Kissing didn’t seem like this massive thing. Hiro grew up isolated from the true highschool experience, he didn’t know. All he knew was that making out with you was cool and pretending he only did it because he was bored (and not because he would swear on his teen hormones that he loved you) was even cooler.

His aunt and brother had liked to tease you for it, but that’s all it was: teasing. The two of you would never live down the torment you’d likey face if they found out about your “I’m bored, let’s make out” sessions.

Speaking of, your mom didn’t really know you and Hiro were like that. She was only partly sure you liked him and you only thought that because one day after she caught you being particularly smiley that night after having him over to stream a new song she came into your room, played with your hair and said: “So you and Hiro are friends? That’s nice, he’s seems nice. Just, make sure he doesn’t make it worse.”

That was also kind of a silly depression thing: People and their influence could make it worse for you, others, and even themselves. Bad influence already makes bad people, but bad influence on people with depression tends to make them miserable, desperate, and self loathing.

But contrary to what your mom had said, Hiro didn’t make it worse. He made it better and she would soon figure that out after you’d tried texting him multiple times despite knowing he was at an expo outside the city. And he’d respond as fast as he could with the best messages, but when he’d go dead silent for almost ten hours each day it just dampened your mood. You’d kept reminding yourself not to be selfish, that your lack of ability to be happy shouldn’t stop people from living their lives. But from the hours of 7 a.m. - 5 p.m. you were left with no friend and a fat headache.

——————————————————————————

The intro to a show you couldn’t remember the name of played for the tenth time that day, drying out your eyes and causing an endless headache. You were surprised you hadn’t at least gotten a stomach ache from all the Tylenol you’d been taking. Someone knocked at your closed bedroom door before gently opening it.

“Y/n,” Your mom squinted through the darkness of your closed blinds and at the glowing computer screen. “There’s someone here to see you.”

With your back faced to her you couldn’t say anything other than a low, “Oh.”

She left for a bit as you continued to lay there, helpless almost dead. Thinking about death is something everyone does up to a certain extent. Questions like: How will I die? What comes next? Are ghosts real? All normal.

But when you and people like you thought about death it wasn’t like when other people thought about death.

Suddenly, your door creaked open and you didn’t even have the energy to look back but you just knew. Hiro had looked around at your depression room and sighed. He hadn’t even been around you for more than thirty seconds and he already wanted to cry. This was bad- so bad. The boy gently crept up to your bed and sat down. You felt the dent of his body in your mattress and still didn’t move.

“How are you?” His voice was quiet.

You responded barely above a whisper, “Fine.”

“When’s the last time you left this room?”

You didn’t even reply. At that moment, breathing was too much work. Having to think about the air going through your lungs and exhaling it out was a chore.

Hiro leaned over your body and shut the laptop closed before moving it off your head and placing his body in it’s spot. You two were now face to face, laying on your bed like the lovers of valdaro. It was bad this time and everyone knew it. Guilt had been eating him alive since he read the shift in your texts. How could he enjoy himself at this expo while you were there suffering?

“Did all of this happen because I wasn’t here?” He whispered.

You grabbed onto his hand. “No. I’ve always been like this.”

“Do you promise?”

“I swear it.”

“But it’s never been this bad before. If I was here then-”

“You couldn’t have done anything.” You cut him off. “Hiro I’ve been like this all my life. And you shouldn’t feel obligated to hold yourself back because I’m not normal.”

Once while playing around at the park at midnight you told Hiro that a therapist you had said these episodes will wax and wane. In the good there will be bad and in the bad there will be good. But there would never be moment where it would just be good. You’d be this way for the rest of your life, sad, in pain, and left with a feeling of mania and worthlessness. And there was nothing he could do about it.

“Do-” Hiro’s voice started to shake and a tear from my eye scurred across his face. “Do I at least make it any better?’

The thought of making it better by being there would in turn make him feel a little less guilty about not being able to be with you all the time.

For the first time in a week, you gave him a weak smile. No teeth, just lips. Before you leaned forward and gave him a prolonged kiss. In return, he brushed your hair from your face and started petting your head.

“Yes,” You whispered. “You do.”