#Cave Paint Adventure

[poshtearexdoodles]

Was messing around with photoshop brushes and had a fun idea of a side scrolling adventure game in a sort of cave painting style with various prehistoric creatures as the boss fights, I think that’d be fun.  (Fun lil detail, the back drop for this is a picture of the other side of my fossil of a shrimp)

[zehpeh]

"SOJOURN" - acrylics/ink/digital - January 2024

[alwaysmanages]

Season 3 had so much focus on Little My and how she grapples with the concept of family and the kind of love and attention she needs I’m so heckin  proud of this little lady!! 

One thing that I’ve always admired about Little My is how her character in all adaptations follows that unbreakable aspect of her. She always seems unbothered no matter the situation and is able to carry herself and push through each problem with grace and a grin. But I love that Moominvalley goes deeper into her character in believable avenues like ‘who is her father and why does it matter to her?’, ‘what is family really like for a girl who grew up having to be the worst of her many siblings just to stand out?’, ‘what happens when she finally receives the love and attention she so desperately needed?’.

This unbreakable title is something she’s had to build for herself after growing up feeling like she doesn’t matter enough for undivided love and attention. She tells herself to assume the worst so the worst doesn’t surprise her. It’s all so very sad, but very simple, Little My has been hurt many times by the family she’s grown up with and she’s only just now learning to let her new family chip away at her walls, and I’m so so so proud of her!

I feel like this season gave her HUGE steps with being at peace with herself, her family, and her upbringing. The Moomins have taught her so much about patience and kindness that she did something I don’t think I would’ve expected from her in an earlier episode of the series: she forgave her mother for who she is--for how she raises her children, and I can’t imagine how much she toiled with her feelings ever since her mother left the first time. The Moomins have shown her time and time again that she is truly loved and a part of their family, that kindness and patience provides the absolute best results as opposed to violence and allowing anger to keep a tight hold on your actions, and all of this has allowed her to find some peace and common ground with her mother.

I’m so overcome with emotions y’all, she’s so loved by her found family and she’s making so many positive strides I’ve cried 3 times already I love her so much. ;A;

[wombocombo4x3]

Made some Nepeta fanart for someone I can't remember the name of. (They made a cool Pikachu art as a gift back.)

[ariannafarricella]

Swordtember day 1: Crystal

A mysterious adventurer, a crystal cave, a sword stuck in the cave for who knows how long, patiently waiting for someone worthy enough to wield it.

This is the start of our story, the adventures of the Swordbearer, and it all starts with this first encounter, in a deep, dark, time-forgotten crystal cave…

---

This challenge is created by Faith Schaffer on IG, I’m following their prompt list! I’m trying to do kind of a one panel story with each prompt, i hope to be able to do all the days, it’s a challenge more with myself and getting back doing stuff I love.

It’s a while that I was considering posting back here on Tumblr, I’m kinda fed up with all the other socials and here there’s always so much more warmth <3

Happy Swordtember!

[thelegendofjamieroberts]

Chapter 9, Page 223

– BUY VOLUME 1 | CHAPTER 1 PDF | CHAPTER 2 PDF | CHAPTER 3 PDF | CHAPTER 4 PDF | GET LEGEND OF AZU-MI | GET EARLY ACCESS

[alyssapettitart]

Revisited a piece from September for one of my finals

[scribeofnight]

⸝⸝ ꒰ 𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐋, 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃. 🫧ㆍ₊⊹

✦ 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 ;; rafayel x gn!reader ✦ 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾 ;; fluff, pure fluff and brainrots, not fully coherent thoughts ✦ 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍 ;; 0.7k ✦ 𝗌𝖼𝗋𝗂𝖻𝖾'𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 ;; obsessed and thinking about husband rafayel 24/7 - so a little filler drabble while i finish up the zayne oneshot and before i go to bed. enjoy my seashells <3 (currently can't add my yellows - i'll edit the format tomorrow)

✦ 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘵 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦 (𝘧𝘪𝘤/𝘩𝘤𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘴 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯!!) ♡.

⟢ husband! rafayel who makes sure there's always a place for you to sit or lay down on when you're in the room watching him paint

⟢ husband! rafayel who smears paint on your cheeks while you're sleeping, only to feel bad and paint a small sunset or ocean or sunrise or the sky or anything, really, across your cheeks

⟢ husband! rafayel who will trace miscellaneous shapes on your collarbones and shoulders - connecting every freckle and mole

⟢ husband! rafayel who looks at your stretch marks and kisses them gently, tracing every curve and smiling up at you, stopping to only tell you how much they look like stardust

⟢ husband! rafayel who would cave when you give him puppy eyes and a pout - he's weak for you, he knows

⟢ husband! rafayel who once reserved a whole restaurant because he remembered you saying you don't like eating in front of a lot of people, just so you would be comfy on your date night

⟢ husband! rafayel who would collect seashells everyday as he walks on the beach with you, telling you stories about his adventures when he was a little kid in lemurian waters; placing them in a tiny jar that he gives to you - and his grin is so blinding and hug so warm and kiss so tender when he sees it on your desk and in your bag.

⟢ husband! rafayel who thinks you look exceptionally pretty in pearls, but he thinks you're ethereal when you're in his bed, curled up around him, bed hair and sour breath and all

⟢ husband! rafayel who grew fond of cats because of how much you love them - who fell in love with the way you looked and loved cats, and could never think of cats as harmful ever again (especially when you look at them like how you look at him)

⟢ husband! rafayel who buys you dresses upon dresses, if only to see you wear them and spin around like the disney princess you deserved to be but couldn't affort to be

⟢ husband! rafayel introducing you to little fishies during a swim in the ocean, calling you his wife and watching with awe as the fishes boop your nose and circle you two, guiding you both through the waters to the prettiest coral reef ever

⟢ husband! rafayel who lets you see his silvery scars from fighting for his kingdom, letting you trace them even though he flinches from the memories - only soothed by your fingertips and gentle kisses to his skin, your calloused thumbs wiping away falling tears

⟢ husband! rafayel dedicating a whole exhibit with every painting of everything you've ever loved and liked, with the centerpiece as both of you dancing at the banquet, with the words "for my ocean" as its caption

⟢ husband! rafayel who has never thought of having kids until he took one look at you with your nephew, and decided he wanted some then and there

⟢ husband! rafayel who brings you trinkets and tidbits from wherever he travels to, be it in Linkon or overseas, because every little thing reminds him of you (he'd rather live with your memory and you by his side than have to lose you again)

⟢ husband! rafayel that would not let you go anywhere without him - he knows you can defend yourself, but he wants to be able to see you and touch you just in case; he likes protecting you (if only to make up for all the time that he wasn't there to protect you - could you blame him? he wanted you to forget, he was sure you would)

⟢ husband! rafayel that would cook for you when you return home from work, shit-faced and weak, wobbly, exhausted legs - who would feed you and hold you close as your words slurred, a fond smile on his face as he squished your cheeks, watching you fall asleep, your features so beautifully calm and peaceful

⟢ husband! rafayel who never wants to see you cry, but would sit there on the bathroom floor at 5am, wiping your tears away when memories of you both together centuries ago flooded your mind, his heart aching as he watched you cry over not remembering him when it really was his fault

⟢ husband! rafayel who would hold your hair back when you didn't like the way it felt, tying it up into a bun and decorating it with little seashell clips so you felt pretty

⟢ husband! rafayel who would see his child hold a paintbrush, painting a very wonky looking apple and sing with glee - who would frame the apple painting and title it "[child's name]'s first painting"

⟢ husband! rafayel who would tell his child how wonderful of a mother you are, spinning the baby around before he tucks the baby onto his hips, holding her close

⟢ husband! rafayel who would rest his forehead against yours at least 5 times a day, loving the peace and love that radiates from you, seeping into him and soothing his bones, a quick kiss on your lips sealed the deal

⟢ husband! rafayel who always tells you that he's glad to finally be yours, to kiss you and hold you close

⟢ husband! rafayel who looks at you like you hung the moon and stars when you tell him you love him

⟢ husband! rafayel who is just so happy you come home to him everyday

♡. head empty only husband rafayel.

✧˖°. header creds ;; @editshan <𝟑

♡₊˚ 🪼・ copyright @scribeofnight all rights reserved ;; do not copy, steal, plagarize, reword or repost to other platforms without proper permission || all credits to original owners and creators of the characters from the media + pictures that are not my own.

[stardustedknuckles]

I know they had to reset some things for the handful of people starting their loz adventure with Tears of the Kingdom, but if you've played an inordinate amount of Breath of the Wild the beginning plot is fucking hilarious. You and the princess went missing under the castle for an as-yet-unspecified amount of time after seeing your history duplicated in someone else's cave paintings. Half the people you meet back in Hyrule are worried sick about you. Half pretend they have never seen or heard of you. And a handful are literally selling your old clothes. The implication that you two went missing and everyone went "welp. He's not gonna need that stuff for at least a hundred years. But also we have to look for them."

(Hestu is especially funny to me. I've decided he just says that to all the Hylians bc he's faceblind af)

[kpthoughts]

<Sam’s little sister>

-Colby Brock-

—————————————————————————

Before dating:

Sam hated the idea of his best friend dating his little sister

That’s why Colby held his feelings off for so long because he didn’t want to make Sam uncomfortable

But soon the feelings were too strong to ignore

You got closer very easily might I add

Everyone had a hunch you liked each other, the mainly knew he liked you.

Especially fans

He seemed very protective of you in videos, more than everyone else

In haunted videos he would always check up on you, make sure you’re not going in first or in any danger

You like the thrill though and he knows this but he can’t help himself

Fans picked up on all this and started to ship you

As much as you denied it you both knew it was true

You always seemed to gravitate towards each other even when you’re in a big group/crowd

For example you would sit beside each other, walk side by side, talk to each other more, find ways to be alone

This is what led you to dating

When at a party you both hid away in the bedroom

One conversation led to a deep conversation and he kissed you

You were shocked but didn’t fight it

Sam finding out:

You both hid this from your friends to avoid drama between everyone

They soon picked up on it though

Sam being the first to ask Colby about it.

He asked if anything was going on between you and Colby and because Colby didn’t want to lie anymore he admitted you were dating for the past month

Sam was rightfully upset

Not because you were dating but because you hid it from him

He came around though and was your biggest shipper

Dating Colby would include:

He always has his hands on you in some way

Not sexually though

He would hold your hand, your thigh, have his arm around your waist etc

Filming together

Sam teased you two SO MUCH

He’ll come in while you’re in his apartment or room and just tell something stupid before leaving

Colby finds it funnier than you do

“It’s a little funny!”

“No I hate him!”

He’s very protective of you and will constantly make sure you’re ok and safe

Especially in videos when you’re exploring or ghost hunting

You’re usually the little spoon but if he’s had a bad day it switches

His fans love you and are also protective of you when it comes to haters

He loves seeing you in his clothes

Hoodies, t-shirts, rings whatever

You steal his rings a lot

He knows you do and gave up asking you if it was you who took them because he already knows

Adventures when you want to get out somewhere

You’ll just drive until you find somewhere interesting to look around like a forest, cave or abandoned building

Checks up on you daily and knows when something is wrong

He’s not overly jealous but can get a little annoyed when a guy shows you a lot of attention

You don’t give the attention back though

Instead you go to Colby and kiss him in front of the guy

He loves it when you do this

When you kiss he always has his hands on your waist or back

He knows what spots to put his hands every time

During makeouts he’ll put you on his lap and hold your hips down

He’ll leave hickeys in less obvious spots because of videos and you two not wanting to share that part of your life

Your friends always see them though and you don’t hear the end of it

Forehead kisses all the time

When cuddling he loves to play with your hair and loves it when you play with his

He tried to braid your hair once but it didn’t end well

You paint his nails a lot and he loves it

When you’re bored you’ll draw on his arms or colour in his tattoos with felt tips

He just lets you do it while he scrolls through his phone

Stargazing is something you love to do as you know so much about Stars

He sits there and listens to you talk about it and he loves it

—————————————————————————

Master/Request Page

[carpbread0]

NPC Life is the best

(Genshin Impact x gn reader - sagau)

(second person pov)

Part 1 —> Part 2 —> Part.3

————————————————

Now that your kaeya predicament was gone, it was finally time to decide what to do for a living. to be honest, you didn’t have to worry about money since you were an accountant and had a few properties in real estate. So money just was never the problem.

but now that you’ve landed in teyvat it seems that all of your hard work has gone out into the gutter. real estate didn’t seem like a good job considering-

well

the fact that you had barely enough mora for four more meals. and accounting didn’t seem all that good either since the store managers in teyvat never seemed to need an accountant at all.

well unless if you wanted to work for the fatui and slave away while also having the chance of being hurt at any moment..

so past jobs just weren’t gonna cut it.

maybe a.. painter? You did paint as a hobby, but then again you didn’t have money for the costly supplies anymore..

oooo! Or maybe a baker? You did enjoy baking with your ex, but then again it was mostly him doing the work while you just stared at him lovesick..

mm.. maybe an adventurer? The pay seemed pretty good and you would get to explore all of teyvat at the same time. However.. the Khaenri’ah quests broke you so hurting a innocent hillichurl would probably break your heart..

who knew picking a job would be so hard?

as you grumble about what to do, a flyer from a nearby wall suddenly flys off gently and straight into your lap. A CHIBI drawing of a familiar figure prancing around piles of mora is dead center as the text above says

NEW!!!

Liben is back in town!! Those with valuable goods such as ores or whatever I’m craving- will be paid handsomely! If you wish to trade with me, please come next to the fruit stalls at the front gate if you wish to trade for a handsome amount of MORA!

teyvat has blessed you

Your holy savior is back in town!

but.. what could liben want today? Then again, his silly little flyer said it could be anything of value. Maybe you should try your luck at getting a precious ore! It shouldn’t be too hard right?

. . . . . . . . .

it was too easy

the moment you trekked out into a small cave near eagle coast was the moment you found two large emerald like ores that were easily plucked out. It was as if teyvat wanted to impress you in how it could bend to your wishes so easily.

you made your way back to mondstat and headed to the location Liben was usualy found.

weaving through the busy street you found yourself before the flamboyant looking man. He was as tall as you’d thought he be but with a very chill attitude just like his in game dialogue.

“Hi! My name is Y/n. I saw your flyer and I was wondering if you’d be interested in my ores” you show him your two ores which were as large as small watermelon.

“Hmm, these will certainly do. How about 1 million mora? These fine ores must cost a hefty price no?” Liben nods with professionalism.

“Mm.. how about 1.4 million mora?” You look up at him with a pitiful look. “I worked very hard to find these ores so it would be nice if you could raise the price a bit. Of course, if you don’t want to it’s fine.”

Liben ponders for a minute before diligently responding with “how about 1.3 million mora? Will that suffice Traveller?”

“Deal!” You look up at him happily.

“Good! Let’s set this trade then”

Liben proceeds to grab three hefty bags of mora and hands it over to you as you gently hand over your ores. As Liben hands you the bags of mora you can only ponder about how to fit the into your little pouch..

well that was until a backpack symbol popped up onto your pouch.. it seems like the bag you had stolen wasn’t any ordinary bag after all. Pressing on the symbol, the back pack screen popped up like in game. Liben didn’t react nor did anyone who was passing by. It seems like this screen was only visible to you.. how neat!

placing the mora into your inventory you see the mora bar fill up. Although you’re a little guilty about guild tripping Liben into giving you an extra 300k, times are hard and with such a good opportunity you must take it! Come on look at you now, 1.3 million mora would probably last you almost a life time in teyvat, but you can never be so sure. After all, being so stable with money in your old world sure puts you on your feet now that your hard earned fortunes are of no use. The more mora, the better!

. . . . . . . . . . .

Once you finished sharing small talk with Liben after your godly trade, you decided to explore the city of freedom.

it was about 3 pm now since you spent a few hours walking out to go find ores. Now that your stable with mora the flooding thoughts of being the creator really hit you.

Surprisingly, it hasn’t been on your mind at all. But now that you’re heading to the cathedral and the venti statue, the thoughts of being treated like a divine being throws shivers down your spine. While living in luxury would be a dream of some, being stuck in a cold and quiet throne room seems just as horrible as living on the cold streets.

now that you think about it, you haven’t heard talk about the creator at all. With how little you know about yourself you can’t help but be nervous. Is there an imposter on the throne? Do the people of teyvat sacrifice human beings in your name? these thoughts can’t help but send another shiver down your spine as you finally reach the top of the long stairs.

the venti statue stood high in scale, obviously more magnificent then it could ever be in game. The crowd that surrounded the statue was much larger as well. With nuns preaching about lord barbatos and so forth. you look at the cathedral to see another nun preaching, she seemed to be talking about the creator.. it’s best if you listen in on her words.

scurrying over you manage to find a nice spot amongst the large crowd of people.

“The divine creator has yet to descend but as diligent followers we mustn’t rush their return!” The nun says loudly as a few people cheer.

“Once they descend we will finally see their divine features, features not even the best scriptures could describe.”

“We will bathe them in gold like the color of their holy blood! And we shall never kill in their name lest we sully their robes!” The nun preaches like a zealot and the crowd yet again cheers.

well, that sure answers your question. At least the people don’t kill in your name.. you couldn’t be so sure about gods though.. well it’s better than everyone doing it, that’s for sure.

The nun also said that the creator hasn’t descended yet.. which means you’re not in the imposter au! Woo hoo! Now you surely have a better chance to live as an NPC.

walking away from the crowd you decide it’s best to go look for an inn. The gothe hotel is an obvious contender but it’s taken over by the fatui.. maybe you should walk around the city a little more and decide.

heading down the stairs to the town square you sit down on a bench, now realizing the toll of walking down the large amount of steps.. how do the locals do it *sigh*

unknown to you a certain soft spoken alchemist can’t help but be captured by the sight of you. With his interest peaked he walks over to you quietly without you noticing a thing.

“Excuse me, is it alright if I sketch you?”

——————————————————————

carp bread- wasn’t sure how I was supposed to write Liben 😔👆

[marlynnofmany]

Walkway Aesthetics

The door opened from the spaceport to the city proper, and I couldn’t help saying, “Oh wow.” I’d expected a regular walkway, maybe with a moving sidewalk or hovercarts, probably with ads and decorations. The last few big cities we’d visited had all been pretty bland in terms of entrance-way style.

This one was an aquarium. The long tunnel curved away under a domed ceiling with vast sea creatures undulating by overhead, and others darting about in flashes of scales. Subtle blue-and-purple lighting lit up both the benches alongside and the water above. Specks of phosphorescence danced everywhere like fairies under a starry sky. The effect was breathtaking.

I ventured out into the purple-blue wonderland. “Wow, this is amazing.”

Three of my coworkers followed, and were less impressed.

“Eh, it’s not very original,” Kavlae said with a flip of her frills. Under the lighting, her sky-blue skin was a shifting purple. “Water scenes are pretty tiresome, honestly.”

“You said it,” agreed Mur down from floor level. He tentacle-walked along like the opinionated squid alien he was, blending with the bluish shadows. “Once you’ve seen things swimming past, you’ve seen them all.”

I asked, “Are you serious? This is beautiful.”

Paint huddled close beside me, her orange scales turned an indistinct brown. “I think it’s scary.”

“What? Why?” I asked.

She clasped her hands, shaking her head. “That’s a lot of water, and a lot of creatures. What if the barrier broke?”

“Well yeah, that would be bad,” I admitted. “But it’s not going to.”

Paint walked faster. “Still scary. Look at that one! It’s so big!”

The alien whale or whatever that coasted past had bioluminescent swirls along its underside, and a cloud of the glowing water-pixies flitting along after it. Beautiful, and awe-inspiringly close.

“Ah, that’s so cool!” I said, turning in place as I walked to keep it in sight.

Paint just squeaked and scampered ahead, followed by Kavlae and Mur.

“C’mon, we’re leaving you behind,” Mur told me.

“I’m coming,” I said. There were glowing eels or something up ahead, and I jogged to get a look. The other three continued turning up their various noses the whole way down.

When we finally reached the other end, a family of humans were just entering the tunnel. Their awestruck expressions were vindicating.

“Ohhh, wow!”

“This is lovely!”

“Look at the size of that one! I can almost touch it!”

“Don’t smudge the glass, honey.”

“But it’s so cool!”

I joined my coworkers at the exit with no small amount of smugness. “See? They get it.”

Mur waved a tentacle. “That just shows that your entire species has poor taste in decor.”

Paint shuddered, stepping into the brighter light of the station. “I would feel much safer with solid ground on all sides instead of all that water.”

I laughed. “See, that would make me worry that it was about to fall down on me.”

“A proper burrow would never!”

Kavlae walked past us both. “You planet-born folk have the silliest ideas about these things. I’ll stick with my windows into space.”

The rest of us immediately jumped in to agree that the risk of a hatch blowout was scarier than any cave-in. But the view of stars and galaxies could be pretty dang beautiful, so it was worth it.

~~~

Inspired by this art by @ellohcee.

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love Part 2

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 2.1k

Part 1 ←→ Part 3

Masterlist

You and Rafe had spent the better part of the week getting to know each other. He would come to bar after work, pester you to leave until you caved, then you’d find yourself on some sort of adventure whether it was sneaking onto the beach after hours or just watching a movie in his apartment. There was no denying you were attracted to him but at least you both had established some sort of friendship. You had actually come to enjoy his company and you assumed he enjoyed yours too. Even Mila and Randy had come to enjoy him, liking how he brought out the leisure side of you. Considering all you ever do was work. They liked that you finally found someone that could pull you away to enjoy yourself. Too bad it wasn’t real.

That’s why when he shows up to the bar at seven o’clock on the dot as always, it takes no persuading from you to grab your bag and join him on the other side of the bar. His hand slides easily into your own, smirk worn proudly on his face, and you almost hate how simple all of this is. How he has become such a natural part of your routine in only a short time. It makes you realize how much harder this will be when it has to end. So you push away the feeling of despair, ignore the confused looks from customers, and tell yourself to worry about this another day.

“Have anything in mind for tonight?” Rafe leans down to whisper in your ear over the loud music in the bar. You try to ignore the shiver that crawls down your spine as you look at him.

“Not particularly” and this response paints a devious smirk across his features as he leads you out and to the same truck he’s been helping you into all week.

“Good because I have an idea” he grins at you once in the drivers seat and the minute he turns out of the parking lot you have a pretty good idea on where he was taking you.

It’s not a far drive to the beach which is where you realize he is taking you. The moon is almost full tonight, illuminating the black water in a white glow. You’ve discovered Rafe has a soft spot for the beach, you have an inclination it has something to do with his childhood. Yet you never bother to ask and follow him onto the dark beach instead to provide some company for him. You realize he was even prepared for this as he lays the blanket on the soft sand and helps you down to the ground. It’s when he joins your side you decide to speak up.

“Felt like the beach tonight huh?” you smile at him and Rafe’s eyes cast over you, so dark in the night but glimmering with admiration. Friendly admiration.

“Sometimes I forget how much I miss it. Before being this important person I was once just a kid who spent every day itching to get out on the water and surf” you see the pain in his eyes, the confusion, and if you were closer you’d know what to do to comfort him. Sadly he was still just a stranger, someone you had known for a week.

“We can surf sometime, I’m not very good but I enjoy it nonetheless” you tell him and what you don’t expect is the smile that cracks across his face.

“You’d go surfing for me?” you roll your eyes at his teasing tone but smile at him anyway.

“Sure you big dope” you tell him and he smiles before leaning back to lay in the sand. The stars reflect in his eyes and you find yourself imagining a life where Rafe could like a girl like you for real, to look at you with those same stars in his eyes, and choose you above anyone else. In fact, you wished there was any world that was possible.

“It’s crazy how fast you can go from caring about the things you like to what others think of you” the words he utters holds weight he doesn’t understand. You assume for the both of you. Rafe went from caring about things like surfing to pleasing others, the same way you went from enjoying life to hating what you had been dealt. Hating what you looked like and the outcome of that. Trying so desperately to change, to lose the weight, and in the end know that maybe you’d never trust someone for liking you as skinny if they never knew you when you were fat. It would always be there in the back of your mind, wondering if they’d have been here if you stayed the same.

“If it helps I think everyone does. You lose those little kid goggles and get thrown into the real world. Hence why middle school is so scary” you tell him, laying beside him and praying he doesn’t notice the way your breasts expand across your chest, the way your chin doubles due to the position change, and how your stomach sways to whatever side you lean towards. It’s the position that had those boys making beached whale jokes, is this position that makes you vulnerable and unattractive to most.

“I want to be carefree again. I forgot what it was like to live my life for myself and not others” he tells you and you nod, eyes scanning over the big dipper in the sky, the waves slowly crashing in your ears.

“We can do that too you know, this agreement between us doesn’t have to be just dating. We can help each other enjoy life again” you don’t know why you suggest it. You’re already nervous about the agreement you have going on, the last thing you need is another clause. There’s just something about Rafe Cameron that can’t keep you away.

“I’d like that, which brings me to my next thing” you turn your head to face him, eyebrows furrowing at his sentence.

“Next thing?” you question and his head rolls to face your own, palms resting across his stomach.

“I have a work event tomorrow night, I was hoping you’d attend” this has you sitting back up, heart rate accelerating at the thought of this finally becoming public. Had a week been enough for you to be convincing? After all your friends were convinced, Mila ecstatic for you. This was Rafe’s work friends, professional people.

“Wow, um yeah” Rafe sits up beside you, hand falling to your shoulder.

“I know it’s soon, I didn’t think it was a date event until today. I figured I should probably bring my fake girlfriend” you nod and he can see the nervousness in your eyes but just like the first time you both met he sees that fierce strength behind them. The will to not let anyone undermine your power.

“I’ll go, just tell me a time and dress code” you find yourself saying and he smiles which you return until that hand on your shoulder is running behind your hair and pushing it from your face.

“I was thinking we should kiss” this has you gaping like a fish, brain actually malfunctioning over his words.

“Kiss?” he doesn’t miss the fear that floods your features and he vaguely wonders what kind of emotional damage a person would have to have to react like this over a kiss. Something he had done a hundred times but has an inkling you’ve only done a few.

“Yeah, I know you said not a lot of PDA but I’m a touchy person. Those guys know that and I figure if I show up with a date I’m not affectionate towards they’ll catch on” you let his words settle in, try to let them ease your comforts. He watches you swallow away your nerves before adding on. “I figured our first kiss will be better to have in private then there”

“So a practice run?” you ask and he knows this is you trying to convince yourself of this, that something as simple as a kiss couldn’t be real.

“Yeah, work out all the kinks and stuff” and this has you snorting in laughter which makes him happy to know he’s lessened the pressure on you.

“Yeah, so hopefully we don’t smash noses or something” you tease back with a laugh but the laugh is cut short when his hand presses against your jaw, fingers curling behind your neck. You suck in a sharp breath as you prepare for what he’s about to do. You’re repeating over and over in your head this isn’t real but when his thumb slowly brushes across your bottom lip you find it to be useless. Rafe has bewitched you in every way a man can to a simple girl like you. Which means you’ve already broken the contract, a rule you made. A rule you’ll never admit to breaking in just a week.

“Ready?” and he knows you can’t answer but over the week he has also gotten to know you and if you didn’t want this you would say it.

So he leans forward, watches how your eyes flutter close and for a moment admires how God damn pretty you are before reaching his face to your own. You shudder against him when his lips just barely brush yours and his hot breath fanning across your face has your stomach doing somersaults. Finally he closes the gap, lips closing around your bottom lip before opening and moving in sync with your own. You desperately want to grab onto him but this isn’t real. It’s practice. So after a few beats and the most mind numbing kiss of your life he pulls away with a soft smile and you vaguely wonder how he looks so calm when he just kissed you stupid.

“See, nothing” and your stomach drops, butterflies killed. Rafe turns back to the water, not realizing what he just said had ruined it. You needed to get better at reminding yourself there is nothing to ruin. It was practice, practice that felt all too real and reminded you of exactly why this agreement was dangerous for you. You loved big, not fake.

“If you’re having me come to this dinner thing I do have something to ask” you muster up the nerve to say and he turns his attention back to you, lips a little swollen and eyes glossed over. He looks like a boy who’s just been kissed and for the first time you realize there doesn’t have to be feelings for him to look like that.

“Anything” he tells you earnestly and you stretch your fingers across your legs, feeling a bit silly for asking.

“Could you come to my apartment one of these nights? Mila has been bugging me about how we’re always at your place and never at ours. I figure if we were dating it would make sense for you to come over to mine too” you say and he nods while he takes to thought what you’ve just said.

“Yeah, that’s sounds fine. We could have dinner with Mila a night” he says and you smile to hide the nervousness of him agreeing. This wasn’t nerves for your feelings towards him, this was nerves over your best friend getting close enough to notice this might possibly be fake.

“Thank you” you tell him and he smirks his signature smirk and wraps an arm around your shoulders as his eyes cast back out and over the waves. To the naked eye you look like a real couple, staring gazing on the beach, and in the silence you pretend you are because you can keep yourself from ever telling Rafe how you feel but at least you have this. Pretend, something to hold you over for the rest of your life, because if you never had this for real you surely wouldn’t now.

So tomorrow when you officially start this agreement between you two, you make yourself promise to be prepared for the end. At then end of the day you agreed to prove a point but that wouldn’t take forever. Rafe will soon have to leave and marry the girl of his dreams and the girl you could only wish to be. Tomorrow was practically the end already but at least he was yours in some sense of the word for only a moment. A moment you would cherish forever.

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[dailyadventureprompts]

Dungeon: The Tithing House

For decades the gang of highwaymen known as the Gallerwood Outlaws were famed and feared for equal measure, melting out of the forest to rob merchants, nobles, even mages, before vanishing back into the trees. Even after their awful deaths at the hand of a bountyhunter some years ago folk still sing of their deeds, and of the secret hideaway in which they stored their ill gotten gains.

Adventure Hooks:

Folk have been saying that the ghosts of the Gallerwood outlaws have been stalking the roads near where their bodies were hanged, still looking for one last haul. The party are tasked with investigating rumours after a fearful carter was set upon by these spectres, losing something precious in the process. This provides the excellent framing for a first adventure as each member of the party can be invested in retrieving something different out of the carter's cargo giving them a reason to work in the same direction.

As they investigate, the party will discover that these ghosts are infact local toughs who have dressed up and painted themselves phosphorescent cave lichen in order to shake down passers by. After giving them a thrashing and a Scooby-Doo unmasking, the party can retrieve the stolen goods and return to the inn for celebratory drinking. In the dead of night one of the party awakens to a shadowy figure looming at the foot of their bed, spectral face illuminated by the ghoul-light that flickers in the bowl of their pipe. Evidently the story of the party's antics has spread, and it appears one of the real ghosts of the Gallerwood wants a word.

Frauds and phantoms aside,  entirely possible for the party to stumble across the dungeon while exploring the surrounding swampland, only realizing it served as a bandit hideout after stumbling into the remnants of their camp. 

Setup: The ghost introduces himself as the late Cullen Carver, once founding and now final member of the Gallerwood outlaws. Cullen has an offer for the party, and is willing to guide them to the cache kept by his fellow bandits if they will perform for him a last request. As Cullen explains it, neither he nor the other outlaw spirits will be able to rest so long as there is no end to their tale, and there can be no end so long as the mystery of their hidden treasure remains unsolved in the common imagination.

Cullen is in high spirits despite being dead, so the party should expect some gallows humour as the hanged man leads them through the swamp's hazards, eventually arriving at the outlaw's secret base: The Tithing House, a long abandoned temple of Erathis concealed within the depths of the wilderness that's become infested with all sorts of mire creatures since the thieves met their end.

Challenges & Complications:

The Outlaws kept their treasure in the temple's crypts, and to access these the part are going to need to venture through the gauntlet of dark chambers and traps the bandits set up to keep eachother's hands out of the cookie jar. Cullen can help with some of these, but the whole point of the traps was to keep his fellow thieves honest. The only other way into the vault is through a heavily reinforced door, the key to which is currently in the possession of the bountyhunter who hung the Gallerwoods from trees in the firstplace.

While the party has the pick of spoils, Cullen points out a particular chest kept apart from the rest and calls upon them to fulfill their end of the bargain. This chest was Cullen's nestegg, put aside from numerous heists and robberies to be delivered to his wife and children in the event of his death. With no surviving highwaymen to carry out the promise Cullen's REAL unfinished business comes to light. The party can keep their word, or they can snipe the treasure for themselves, earning the spectre's undying enmity and curse to boot.

To get out of the the Tithing House the party will need to face off with a demon of avarice.. but not in the traditional form of bossfight. He'll approach just as they're leaving the dungeon, taking the form of a plump old man with a grandfatherly smile who wears the spotless robes of an Erathian friar despite the flooded cemetery in which they stand. He is all calm words and politeness, congratulating them on making off with such a fine haul and urging them to never mind that silly old ghost and his wishes, banishing Cullen beneath a nearby grave so that they can talk cordially. The Smiling Friar explains that he had a deal with the highwaymen; feeding off the greed of their crimes in exchange for concealing their hideaway and passage through the forest. There's no reason the party couldn't renew the deal, become the new band of legendary thieves, save that they'll have to forsake their ghostly guide and his last act of charity. Should they turn him down the Smiling Friar will call up the dead of the cemetery to slaughter them, clearing the way for the next band of ambitious treasurehunters.

Art 1 Art 2

[ja3hwa]

Jongho | Blue Lagoon

「Synopsis」 : You head out to sea in hopes the storm hadn't hurt your lovers. But what you are met with was more than expected.

「Word count」 : 2.0k

-> Genre: Smut. Fluff. Fantasy. Adventure.

Paring: Vampire!Pirate!Jongho x Siren!Reader

[Warnings] : Swearing. Pet name. Blood. Bodily fluids. Blood drinking. Sir kink. Blowjob. Throat fucking. Dirty talk. Nudity (Sexual & Non-Sexual). Let me know If I missed anything.

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The cave was warm compared to the freezing storm out at sea. Yunho gave the all-clear when he jumped from the deck to the sand bank. He made sure the anchor was set so they wouldn’t float away, also giving the grounds around them a once over just in case something else decided to pick the same cave as a place of refuge from the hell-bent storm. Wooyoung shouted about getting dinner started making everyone head for the lower deck, sensing their stomachs empty and in need of Wooyoung’s cooking.

Jongho however stayed on the stern deck, looking out to the waterfall that had an opening in the cave roof, making some rain pour in with a loud trickle. He noticed little lagoon pockets, most of them looked shallow but he knew all too well that they were indefinitely deep, making a cave system right beneath their feet. Some blue glowworms gathered on the wet roof, lighting up the cave, making him suddenly see a shadow out of the corner of his eye. He turns and stood up from his slouched position on the railing, trying to get a better look at the figure in one of the small lagoon pools. Maybe it was something to fear or something that could harm the ship, but he suddenly saw a light mixer of colour painted on a long and elegant tail. He knew exactly what he was looking at and it made his heart skip a beat.

The sea was calming around your body. It’s quiet and peaceful compared to the world above. You took a large inhale, letting the gills on the side of your neck filter the water inside your system. It was comfortable, familiar. You missed being underwater, but you loved the surface world as well. You missed your tail every day, but not as much as you liked your legs. It was lonely in the sea. Being an outcast from your home because of your special ability. Being a shifter. A rare form of Siren, a mermaid crossbreed. In other words, an abomination. Something that shouldn’t exist, but I guess your parents didn’t get the memo about that.

You navigate the ocean with ease following the scent of the destiny―the ship Yeosang was aboard―. The smell of wet dark spruce, a hint of honey and chard coal, the scent you loved whenever you stood on the deck of the beautiful vessel. You look up to the break where the water meets the opened air, seeing rain dancing on the face of the big blue. It’s getting heavier, you thought, worried the boys might be in trouble, but when you spot teal blue light bubbles, you knew there is a cave system nearby. Maybe they took their ship into a cave?

Swimming through the small crevasse you try your best not to get your large tail suck. But luckily you were just able to wiggle yourself through. You see thousands of lights from glowworms in your blurred view. The surface. Your hands are the first to exit the water feeling the warm air on your cold fingertips. You close your eyes cutting through the water's face before taking a sharp breath of oxygen in, feeling your lung fill with air as your gills close and seal up against your skin from the loss of water around them.

You open your eyes, looking around the large structure, rubbing your eyes in order to clear your vision. A skip in your heart makes your worried nerves finally calm down, seeing the ship sitting out of the storm. Safe. Placing your arms on either side of the lagoon pocket trying to pull yourself up and after a small attempt you got up, twisting your body so your butt could sit on the ledge. You look around the large hollowed rock structure, suddenly grazing on a figure heading in your direction.

“Shit.” You flopped your tail out of the water, placing a hand on your chest before whispering an enchantment allowing you to shift from your tail to your human legs. You prepared to try and explain to whoever was heading your way why you were naked in a cave but before any excuses come to mind a sigh left your lungs as you spot who it was. “Jongho…”

“Hey there Honey. I thought it was you.” His soft voice and kind smile made your heart flutter. He knelled down to your sitting form not dropping his graze from your face. Such a gentleman. He opens a satchel that rests on the side of his hip, pulling out some clothes for you to dress in. He spoke of keeping clothing for you in the past once you told him about you being a shifter. You found it sweet that he and Yeosang were wanting to care for you so much. You always felt love with their protection.

You take the long shirt from the kind male, smiling with a small thank you leaving your lips. Pulling the cloth over your head to take notice that he finally dropped his view, looking at all of you now that you are covered. He let out a gulp as if he wanted to say something. But he couldn’t seem to find the right words.

“You okay Jong?” You tried to get up so you could stand with him but your legs wobbled and your knees buckled making you fall forward. Luckily Jongho caught you.

“Careful honey. Don’t want ya hurtin’ yourself.” He chuckled wrapping his arms around your soft waist, his fingers diving into your plump skin with care. His face was suddenly inches from yours, feeling his heart rate spike from the distance. Time froze as his red eyes glowed while they gaze into your teal ones. You lent in closer, hoping he would seal his lips against yours but he pulls away instead.

“Why are you here Sweetheart?” he whispers, making you let out a huff while rolling your eyes slightly.

“The storm… I wanted to….” You felt a lump in your throat overthinking basically setting you up for failure but yet here you are. Wanting to make sure he was safe. That they were all safe. Jongho gave a small kiss on your forehead, closing his eyes for a moment, taking in your scent that has lingering hints of sea salt.

“I get it…” His lips trail down from your forehead, the crease of your eye, cheeks, jaw and neck. You took a sharp inhale, letting your fingers slip into his belt loops to pull him closer to you. He placed open mouth kisses down your neck until he finds the right spot making you groan softly. A hunger was brewing in his gut, letting his fangs graze your jugular.

“Are you going to bite me, sir?” You teased suddenly feeling your head starting to spin. He just chuckled in response, licking a long strip up your neck before letting his fangs pierce your flesh. You let out a gasp, hands flying to his chest, scrunching the fabric of his blouse. Your blood trickles into his mouth letting him taste the sweet iron twang on his tongue. You felt lightheaded, trying your hardest to keep your body upright. He finally breaks his fangs from your skin. He watched the blood spill out of your neck, dripping down to your collarbone. Fuck, you are so beautiful when covered in blood.

“Baby…” He went to speak but you wasted no time in pushing him against the large flat rocks that lay beside the lagoon pools, making him lean back with a widen stance of his legs. You grinned while you watched him wipe your blood off his chin. You drop to your knees stalking over to your lover. He watched you with a sly smirk, feeling his cock twitch at your excitement. You really got horny from him drinking from you? Yes… You pull down his briefs and took his cock out quickly. Wasting no time in giving him a lick from his base to tip, flicking your tongue on his slit. Jongho let out a soft moan from your action. You lick him like that for a moment, getting him wet and sloppy. You wrap your hands around him and started jacking him off at full-speed. The filthy sounds of him getting wet and you pumping him echoes in the one side of the cave. The feeling made him close his eyes for a moment to just get lost in the pleasure before they popped open when you swallowed him.

“Honey─” He gasps, his hands flying to your head instinctively. His fingers curl as he felt your head move up and down at a quickened pace. He hums deep in his chest making you dig your nails into his thick thighs before pulling off him with a pop.

“Jongho please,” you moaned. “Can you please..use me.” You pressed kisses all over his cock, occasionally licking it from base to tip. Jongho cursed under his breath and took a hold of your head with both hands. You hum excitedly while he sighed deeply, looking at you as you open your mouth as your permission.

“Damn,” he whispers and with one more low curse, he slid himself in your mouth. Your throat muscles immediately hugged his hard cock tightly, and he felt them moving as you swallowed. He groans, hips moving back and forth slowly at first, giving you some time to adjust, but after a small tap on his thigh that he could translate as a go-ahead he picked up his pace. Soon, he was fucking your throat at a pace that could count as fast,

“You want me to use you, huh?” He rasped. His breath was coming out in pants. You swallowed and hummed around him. “Alright, baby, here it comes.” He tightened his hold on your head and thrusts in. He could feel you struggle a little, throat muscles spazaming and after a couple more seconds of having you there, he pulls your head off, and you gasps wetly and loudly. Your face was a mess, but holy shit did it turn on Jongho more than he ever got before…

“You look so ruined, Fuuck,” he curses. You moan and bent your head to take him in your mouth again, making him thrust in and out of you a couple more times before keeping himself buried there for a moment. He felt you gag softly, nails digging into his thighs, but he didn’t pull out, didn’t move, he just kept your head on his cock. The gagging intensified a bit, the spasms of your muscles following. Just when you dug your nails painfully deep, he pulls out. The gasp you let out was louder than the first one.

“Sir, shit,” you whispered. Your voice, horses and your face was painted with tears. Jongho clenched his jaw and buried himself deep in your throat making you moan when he did. Immediately, you start to swallow around him as you snake a hand to grasp his balls. He gasps when he felt the tight grip you had on them, doubling over, but not pulling out this time for a breather. You fondle his balls, holding them tightly, pulling on them and swallowed around his cock. You heard a strong thud before Jongho let out a punch sound and a choked moan, and he came down your throat. When he finally pulled out, he watches a string of saliva follow, connecting your mouth and his dick together.

“Holy shit,” he pants, breathless. You just smile making his heart flutter. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” he laid down on his back, letting the cold rock cool his body temperature.

“You love me.” You giggle using the lagoon water to wash your face and neck, letting the salty water tend to your wound.

“Of course I do.” He replies.

-

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[cellarspider]

Spider's Big Prometheus Thing: Index Post

Being a list of all the posts produced in the course of this inexplicable project of mine. This post will be updated as more entries are added, on days when I remember I made an index for these.

All entries will have at least a minimum level of citations for where to start looking for more facts on a subject. Be aware that there's also hidden rambling and bonus facts in the image alt text.

0. Introduction

Setting the scene, including my background, my intent, and where this movie is going.

1. Opening

Expectations, landscapes, and aliens.

Rambles: DNA, whether aliens would have it, and why it doesn't look like a pale bacon ladder.

Alt-text rambles: nano-bubbles.

2. Discovery

The Isle of Skye is gorgeous, the movie attempts to establish its themes, and why it had already got my hackles up. Rambles: how cool ancient and pre-modern peoples were, the implications of humanoid figures in European cave paintings, and misplaced lions. Alt-text rambles: seriously, Skye is just so cool. Erich von Däniken and modern publishing royalties are not.

3. David

We meet the loneliest android, and his fandom of choice. Rambles: I go nuts for a paragraph over Proto-Indo-European. Alt-text rambles: Help me remember a dude's name, that time Ron Perlman saw Sigourney Weaver do something so cool he forgot to act, and a Coronation Street conspiracy theory.

4. Humans (Derogatory)

We meet the human crew, and analyze why they're a mismatch to the movie's established expectations, and what subgenre they fit in most. It isn't the one the movie seems to be aiming for. Rambles: 50s B-movies and their Men Of Science, modern movies and their quietly suffering scientists. Alt-text rambles: inconsistently moist characters, Idris Elba's christmas tree decorations.

5. Pseudoarchaeology (Extremely Derogatory)

We meet Old Man Capitalism, poor logistics, and how the movie began to really lose me through dropping in some racist pseudoscience tropes. Rambles: more logistics (of alien bioengineering), historical art styles, what the world was getting up to in the 600s CE Alt-text rambles: Linguistics, more ranting, the life and extraordinarily ornate death of Kʼinich Janaabʼ Pakal. Rants: the existence of writing, people who don't look like you can still think, stargazing and how conspiracy theorists don't understand it.

6. Roads

Poor firearm safety with Chekhov's Gun, when movies move too fast, atmospheric chemistry, and the moment I began to yearn for blood. Rambles: First contact protocols, why 3% CO₂ won't kill you but it will make you weird, my personal experience digging up a Roman road. Alt-text rambles: the logistics of securing items in moving craft, linguistics, atmospheric science, colorblind-friendly diagram design, swearing about orology, and cursing the crew for their fictional crimes against archaeology. Rants: Why they should've stayed in orbit, and my impassioned defense of historically significant transportation infrastructure.

7. Masking

The bit that made most people realize these characters were idiots. Featuring an attempt at themes. Rambles: NASA's policies on biological contaminants Alt-text rambles: Benedict Wong having nothing to do, helmet design, driving on dusty track, the tiny overlap between archaeological horrors and Minecraft, the CDC's excellent captions on men sneezing. Rants: Nominating a man for the Heinrich Schliemann Archaeology Award, all these people are catching space covid

8. Ghosts

Comparing the Engineers to their series antecedents, and I develop a slight soft spot for the geologist. Rambles: Set design in Alien, how carbon dating works. Alt-text rambles: Adventure games, GET DOWN MISTER PRESIDENT, I get very excited for Dune: Part Two, the archival devotion of people with rare blorbos.

9. Dignity

Personal, professional, social, and media context for the treatment of people's remains. Rambles: Personal experiences around the archaeological discovery of human skeletons, professional codes of ethics, movies that handle dead bodies better by being more crass about it. Alt-text rambles: None, the main text gets full focus this time.

10. Atmosphere

How intertextual imagery is overused, how the one major character arc is developing, and a whole grab bag of miscellaneous shambolic events. Rambles: How tourist-breath can destroy artifacts, and a deleted scene Alt-text rambles: Whether explaining mysteries is always the wrong decision in fantasy, the usefulness of helmets, Mass Effect's loading screens, please someone give me more recommendations for things where Giger creatures aren't all bad, and how cultural variation in gestures can make you look like an asshole. Rants: they aren't done desecrating the dead oh boy it's just gonna get worse

11. Decontamination

How to present an audience with events that make no sense, how to do it eerily, and how Prometheus does this by accident. Rambles: NASA's Apollo 11 quarantine policies Alt-text rambles: How 2001: A Space Odyssey put on a cosmic lightshow, how traditions are faked for political and social power in Midsommar, confusing lab equipment, robot arm safety, the use of camper vans in space exploration, umarell behavior, and robot horror movies. Bonus text rambles: pressurized gas cylinder safety, and how the cargo of one truck apparently tried to join Roscosmos. Rants: Laboratory safety

12. Shocking

Mary Shelly would not be proud of them. Rambles: Which home electrical appliances their tomfoolery is equivalent to. Alt-text rambles: Semiotics and Alien, reuse of props and art department equipment, the cast's inability to look at things, how the first chestburster scene intelligently incorporated spontaneity, and I completely lose my mind over a single computer readout, finding out in the process that the Engineers are close cousins to the common house mouse. Rants: I didn't think that "don't stick electrical plugs in people's ears" would be something that needed to be said, but here we are.

13. Family Tree

A soothing ramble about some of the cool bits of my job. Rambles: How evolution has made some vertebrate blood white or green, how genomes are sequenced, and how to determine the relatedness of species. And more. A lot more. I love my job. It's so cool. Alt-text rambles: How Nickelodeon slime was made, how hecking tiny molecules are, why blue-tongued skinks have blue tongues, my review of Dune: Part Two, how hard I worked to not turn Gene Wilder into a jumpscare, lots of enthusiastic explanations of DNA sequencing techniques, the aesthetics of the machines wot do that for you, how "snip" no longer sounds like a verb to me, and how I started out as a computational scientist.

14. Cheers

David poisons a man, and how his character arc ties into christian-influenced existential dread. Rambles: series continuity, gnostic theology, Ridley Scott's beliefs. Alt-text rambles: How to ruin petri dishes, Vickers' questionably carbon-based existence, the game of Operation, hand doubles in filming, how the funniest possible misidentification of an early church figure is wandering around the internet, the cool genders of suit actors, gnostic Archons, and the Engineers as Sophia. Rants: Holloway seems unaware that archaeologists study dead people, Ridley Scott is his own biggest problem.

15. Unworthy

The movie does something I'm not going to joke about. Don't read this if you're having a bad day. Big content warning for Holocaust imagery.

16. Intimacy

Your asexual commentator grapples with Hollywood's terrible track record on romantic and sexual chemistry. Rambles: Why we don't say an archaic-looking species is "older" than another, how religious scientists do what they do Alt-text rambles: the human family tree, Abbott and Costello, pitcher plant cultivars, the creative possibilities of a Buddhist version of this movie, and Stephen Still's lack of accordions. Rants: I've never been a boyfriend but I'm pretty sure that's not how you do it

17. Threat

Prometheus takes a hard turn into old slasher movie tropes. Rambles: A movie trailer that gave Wee Spider the screaming heebies Alt-text rambles: The age rating of Prometheus, a spontaneous X-Files crossover AU, Pitch Black, how likely it may or may not be that the images in the post will get flagged, critter behavior, insufficient EVA suit design, and the content balancing I take into account when selecting screenshots. Rants: This movie does not seem to know what it is. Alt-text rants: Ditto, focusing on characterization.

18. Flames

"Mac wants the flamethrower!" Rambles: I wandered off in the middle to watch a 40k comedy video, does that count? Alt-text rambles: More content-balancing, what kind of very English critter David appears to be, dune buggy design, Star Wars: The Old Republic is worth your time, Dune: Part Two is worth your time, an extremely long ramble about integration of CG background elements, and Oblivion memes. Alt-text rants: Movie color grading and lighting, undercutting scares.

19. Stars

The movie shows how good it can be when no dialog is involved. Rambles: The movie Contact and how Prometheus could've learned from it. Alt-text rambles: How I estimate large numbers from a still image, a brief Baldur's Gate 3 appearance, the set design and staging of a room made for giants with squishy computers, the use of color to make a cohesive scene, facts about Uranus, visual intimation of threat, VFX wizardry, practical FX wizardry, Michael Fassbender's wordless acting.

20. Expectant

The movie shows how good it can be when character choice is removed from the horror. Rambles: the inspiration and place of chestbursting in Alien movies, the continuing religious symbolism in the movie, the clunky dialog, how to build or undermine tension, and the good blending of practical and CG effects, and how tiny creatures of the ocean manage to be more uncanny than horror critters. Alt-text rambles: reading details the prop department never meant for you to see. Alt-text Rants: the return of the head-exploder and the first sight of actual PPE, slowly mangling a plot point's name until it has been thoroughly folded, spindled, and mutilated.

21. Underdelivered

The movie shows how terrible it can be when horror doesn't build tension. Rambles: Contortionists in horror, hillbilly horror/hixploitation movies. Alt-text rambles: Resident Evil 7, Dead Space and "strategic dismemberment"

22. Hubris

The movie tries to do some themes again Rambles: my ineffable desire to genetically sequence ditch weeds, Left Behind Alt-text rambles: Brad Dourif's commitment to the bit in The Two Towers, nigh-invisible wheelchair product placement, the Fallout series in general and the upcoming show in particular, praise for an epic-length critique of Left Behind, Robert Zemeckis' bizarre quest to mocap everything Rants: This movie does a terrible job representing both religiosity and atheism

23. Informed

Exposition is delivered, and plot points try to knit together. Rambles: The Silent Hill movie, Pacific Rim Alt-text rambles: Pyramid Head's secret unclothed backside, demanding environmental enrichment for scientists, greebling, Tumblr's favorite shitty copper merchant Rants: What could've been done instead of an exposition dump and daddy issues Alt-text rants: these people and their interior design are tempting fate and testing my patience

24. Inscribed

I go rogue and ramble about constructed languages and cuneiform for an entire post. Guest appearances from Klingon pop music and a delightfully eccentric Assyriologist. Rambles: All of it. Alt-text rambles: the self-awareness of conlangers, fingernail length, Schleischer's Fable as a warm-up for the next section, my primary conlang derangement, speculation about whether cuneiform was legible for the blind, my beef with the cowards at Lucasfilm for refusing to use Star Wars' coolest letters, my love for Warframe's Grineer, going into far too much detail about redesigning Prometheus' Engineer script, and finally, the many crocodiles of ancient egyptian hieroglyphs. Rants: None/all of it

25. Judgement

We discuss some of what the movie doesn't. Rambles: Fiction and morality, Blade Runner, biblical allusions the story could've made and doesn't Alt-text rambles: Lance Henriksen's insane career, the paintings of John Martin and a surprise George Washington, Rutger Hauer's effect on Blade Runner, my tentative plans for the next essay series. Rants: Germs, old man makeup. Alt-text Rants: The characters are reading ahead in the script again, the half-assed Engineer writing system continues to hurt me

26. Awoken

I go bananas over PIE. Rambles: fix-it fic for this damned movie, PIE, how to avoid PIE, how to analyze PIE, and my personal alternative to PIE. Alt-text rambles: calculating how long the Engineer's overslept, their potential spiritual kinship to Moominpapa, behind the scenes photos of the suit actors, Prometheus rants in the days of LiveJournal, the game Hades, how hard it personally is to get PIE right, the linguistics nerdery of the Hittite empire, and watermarks. Rants: how the movie fails its premise and hurts my soul with linguistics

27. Shortcomings

The characters, and movie, fail to get their message across to someone bent on their destruction. Rambles: David's confused religious symbolism, Star Trek Alt-text rambles: My desire for fanfic, behind the scenes photos, what other critters the Engineer's suit actor has played, the naming of Australopithecines, crash-proofing a movie set, alien gender, Gandahar and how French animated SF in the 80s was awesome, Scorn and its expert consultation from a cenobite, and Doctor Strangelove. Rants: the assumptions of the human characters, I go from trying to be measured to actively spiting the writer for his take on thoughtful SF Alt-text Rants: Del Toro is the only one who gets me, the movie has forgotten its main character just had a major surgery, one last rant about how terribly unsafe the Prometheus was as a ship, before it becomes definitively not a ship.

28. Momentum

It's the bit where she doesn't turn. Rambles: How to fix the dumbest thing we've seen in a hot minute, Edge of Tomorrow and feeling Tom Cruise's fear, how the dead thing is never really dead in horror. Alt-text rambles: How hard it is to find the most catchy song in We Love Katamari, more behind the scenes pictures of my blorbos, Friday the 13th Part IV, bad braille, and trilobites. Rants: I mean how can you not when the movie forgets how space works? Like, the idea of 3D space as a concept? Also, a particular rock earns my ire, and my ranting about interior designs on ships finally pays off.

29. Dissonance

The ending of the movie, and its tonal incoherency. Rambles: Protagonist-centric morality and lack thereof Alt-text rambles: Star Trek TNG, green blood, caecilian teeth. Rants: shallow christian themes, sequels that could have been, Shaw's confusingly deployed robo-racism Alt-text rants: sequel disappointments, inadvisable post-caesarian activities, how the hell do you fit that much 'burster into one chest, biological plausibility in alien extend-o-mouths

30. Justification

A breakdown of a post-release interview with Ridley Scott, explaining some missing details. Rambles: Gnosticism again, Mesoamerican and European human sacrifice and the exoticization of shared cultural practices, and a hearty book recommendation. Alt-text rambles: Icelandic volcanoes, The Collector (2009), Stephen Speilberg's War of the Worlds and how scaring the shit out of someone isn't necessarily the job of a horror film, the Tollund Man, unique cultural practices, Hello Future Me, and my opinions on what we've seen of Alien: Romulus. Rants: Ancient peoples weren't stupid, an unexamined christian-centric worldview, an unexamined christian-centric worldview, I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGh