#Complaint Script

[gothamite-rambler]

Batman has to constantly remind them he's not going down with the sinking ship when it's not his fault

Superman: Yeah, so we're turning ourselves into the government. Do you want to meet us there, or should we meet with you?

Batman: …

Wonder Woman: Batman, we're on a time crunch. Just give us your answer.

Batman (while driving, hesitating): First, I'm fine, thank you. How are you? Second, my son, who is in the car with me, is also fine… thankfully. Third, are you on crack?

Superman: I… We as a team voted that it's best if we turn ourselves into the government.

Batman (flatly): That's a decision you made. You guys have fun with it. Can I go now?

Wonder Woman: You’re part of the team! You have to turn yourself in!

Batman: Says who?

Wonder Woman: We decided as a team!

Batman: Yes, good for you. Why am I being dragged into this?

Wonder Woman and Superman: YOU ARE PART OF THIS TEAM!

Damian (in the background): Father, can we get McFlurrys later?

Batman (to Damian): Why do people eat those? They taste disgusting.

Damian: You have to get the one with the Oreos.

Superman: We’re still on the call!

Batman (annoyed): Right, not going in. Bye.

Wonder Woman: Don’t end the call! You have to hear us out.

Batman: I should just hang up, but I’m bored and need something entertaining to listen to. Proceed.

Flash (speaking first): Take one for the team, Bruce.

Batman: Okay, first, when I'm on a call with any of you, call me by my hero name. Commissioner Gordon can get away with that, but I’m not on that level with most of you. Second, I’m not on this team if you want me to do this ridiculousness. Third, seriously, are you on crack?

Green Arrow (in the background): Thank you for not saying heroin.

Damian (in the background): Father, why do they think you’re dumb?

Batman: Because they’re not very smart.

Green Arrow (expecting this): It’s amazing how badly this is going. I told you guys he’d say no, but nobody listens to me.

Batman: This is one of the rare times I agree with Arrow. I didn't sign up for a team where we all turn ourselves in for something I didn’t do.

Superman: It’s a team decision.

Batman: I don’t care.

Superman: But it’s for solidarity.

Batman: That I don’t care about.

Superman: Again, we’re a hero team. We’ve saved the world together; can’t you do this one little thing?

Green Lantern (Hal): And his response is…

Batman: Fighting villains, I enjoy. I wouldn’t be on a sports team, a firefighter team, or a doctor team with you if you're going to be this dense, and I sure as hell won't be on this team if you want me to do something this stupid. Is the brain cell you share gone for the day?

Superman: Okay, well… Kara is going with us.

Batman: And I've lost a little respect for her.

Supergirl: Hey! Wait, you had respect for me?

Batman: Did you contact any of my adult kids? Nightwing? Red Robin? I know Red Hood would just laugh before hanging up.

Superman: We haven't called them yet… but I bet they'd say yes!

Batman: No, they wouldn’t. I know that because they just texted my youngest son, who’s with me, and their messages say, “Not a chance in hell.” I didn’t even have to say anything. I raised them well.

Superman: Can’t you put aside your ego and just do this for us?

Batman: Who’s going to pick up my son from school? Go to my daughter's recital? Attend my other son’s group therapy session? Talk to my future fiancée about where I’ll be? Just curious, which one of you will handle that?

Batman waited for a few seconds, and none of the members responded.

Batman: Right. As stated, I'm not going, and if you call me again with this stupid request, I'm cutting the power to the building for a month. I will let that building decay to prove a point.

Damian: You tell 'em, Father!

Batman ended the video call without another word.

Wonder Woman: He’s getting calmer with his reactions.

Green Arrow: Yeah… Guys, maybe we don’t turn ourselves in this time. Maybe we… do something else? Anything else, because he has a point. I'm not sinking in the Titanic when there's a lifeboat.

Aquaman: Good Titanic metaphor.

Green Arrow: Thanks, man.

[whispers-of-gallifrey]

It's thinking about Maxwell and Jacobi hours

[corellianhounds]

The thing is, I’m disappointed in how the story in The Acolyte is being told, but because it has a diverse cast, I’m worried Disney executives are going to blame people’s criticisms and dislike of the show on the cast instead of the writing. I don’t want it to be a case of “See? People of color just don’t draw audiences in, it’s not financially beneficial to us to invest in stories with them as the leads”. It’s unfair to place blame on the cast when their presence is not the cause of a story’s failure. It’s clear the actors did what they could with what they were given but what they were given is mediocre and amateur writing and directing at best

[swans-chirping-in-the-distance]

Unpopular kotlc opinion: some of these 'girlbosses' aren't a girl's girl

I can see what you're saying

[homielander]

fanon alicole is very sanitized compared to what it is in canon yes but i also think everyone is way too mean to the shippers considering their version of alicole was canon until like ep 9. there's literally no indication alicent feared him and didn't genuinely see him as a good friend prior to that point. and it is difficult to adjust that view given that nobody in that writers room cares about criston cole being a coherent character

[cargopantsman]

it's an odd quibble i have with a recent firefox update, but i do not like that when long processes are going in the browser that it just shows a static hourglass now and not the spinning circle.

the spinning circle let me know i hadn't completely frozen the browser. . .

[gothamite-rambler]

Jason gripped the leg of the man who’d spent the last day trying to kill him, dangling him over the edge of a steep cliff. The goon sobbed, scrambling for a way to escape.

Jason: Remember when I promised I’d kill you last?

Goon (glistening with sweat): Yeah, yeah man, I remember!

Jason: I lied.

With that, he released his grip, and the goon plummeted down the cliff, landing with a sickening thud in the churning waters below. Roy sighed as Jason looked over the edge of the cliff to confirm the man did in fact land on the ground with a splat.

Roy: Commando.

Jason: I wore underwear today.

Roy: No, you—there are days where you go—nope, not dealing with that. You totally stole that from the movie Commando.

Jason (feigning innocence): No, I didn’t.

Roy: Yes, you did! Arnold literally says “I lied” before dropping the guy like a sack of potatoes.

Jason (still lying): Is that a new movie? Maybe it came out when I was dead or hanging out with the Al Ghuls.

As Jason walked past Roy, he started humming a tune from Epic the Musical.

Roy: That movie came out in the eighties! You’ve seen Commando! Don’t lie!

Jason (smirking): No idea what you're talking about.

[marklikely]

i feel like every new movie i watch now im like hm. that was well made and could have been really good but the script kind of sucked

[single-malt-scotch]

I'm listening to the new imp and skizz about WL (and grian is there too) and I totally get them on making jokes about things being "scripted" but also the more they joke that, makes me realize how much I just am not around any part of fandom who complains about it to That degree? Where are all those claims coming from? There's no way so many people think a majority of the series is "scripted" right. I must not hang around those people

[misericordae]

i think the worst and laziest opinion on fantasy is by far the stupid gotcha of "oh, don't you have the imagination to think of a world without imperialism or colonialism? it's fantasy, you don't need that!" like that doesn't meaningfully cut you out of engaging with so many cultures in a fantasy setting include my own. soooo in line with the people who like to pretend unpleasantness doesn't exist

[somecunttookmyurl]

Am the last anon, it was DirecTV before they got bought out by AT&T (no idea if you have those there). But they were really strict, especially in the tech support department for god knows what reason.

we do not have those here but good to know

[britneyshakespeare]

i like how bernard hill and brian protheroe are the same age and yet when bernard hill plays the father of brian protheroe. mm idk i just believe it

[opinion-haver]

super duper agree with most of this but im going to misconstrue the point of the post to nitpick. “i dont know a single country” china. china does this. did you forget to include tiktoks country of origin in your blanket generalization. chinese people censor swears on douyin and they even censor clothed nipples sometimes.

but they DO swear, and joke. “lowbrow” american culture is rife with swears (king kunta kendrick lamar for instance, is a celebration of black american history AND features a well timed “bitch” in its chorus off the top of my head). thats case in point, that conflating culture with its authoritarian regime is folly at best and strengthening their authority at worst.

You know what really fucking Annoys Me about internet censorship is stuff like swear words being heavily censored because that's entirely an American cultural hangup being forced on the rest of us. I don't know a single country where swearing is as taboo as it is in America. In fact most languages have swear words that would have the same effect on an American as giving a Victorian chimney sweep a pepsi max cherry.

[sysig]

Your Weekly TV Guide

On Monday you can expect:

2:30 PM: Star Control II - Hanahaki

And Tuesday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Hanahaki

Wednesday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Hanahaki

Thursday:

2:30 PM: SCII

Friday:

2:30 PM: Clinical Trial

Saturday:

2:30 PM: Clinical Trial

Sunday:

2:30 PM: Clinical Trial

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[gothamite-rambler]

Red Robin (calmly untying his bindings): You made a big mistake. I just want you to know that.

Joker (in a mocking tone): That's doubtful, seeing as Batman isn't coming for you, little Robin.

Red Robin (deadpan): Joker, you'll be on the ground with many broken bones before he can step one foot into this building.

Joker (raising his metal bat): If you’re referring to the other rats making it here in time, then I have bad news for you!

Red Robin grabbed the bat before it could make contact, having successfully undone his bindings. He swept his feet underneath the Joker’s legs, sending the clown tripping to the ground. Red Robin picked the bat up and examined it with an indifferent expression.

Red Robin: Tsk, tsk, Joker. Your knot skills have never been the best. Shame, I do wish you’d let me finish talking before I untied myself. But what I was saying is, Batman isn’t who you should fear at the moment. Nightwing, Red Hood, Spoiler, Orphan, and Signal can’t hold me back, and I’ve been dealing with a lot of crap this past year.

With that, Red Robin raised the bat and struck down on Joker's right knee first.

Red Robin: I forgot it was Mom’s birthday because I had to deal with a man who carries a flamethrower and prides himself on being an arsonist. I’ve been putting up with a jerk at work who I can't punch, and lately, I’ve had this weird, tingly pain from when you froze me and tried to auction me off to the highest bidder. But that’s okay; you’re going to be my punching bag for the next twenty minutes.

A malicious smirk spread across Red Robin’s face as he struck Joker in his left knee next. Twenty minutes later, Red Robin left the building, whistling happily and pointing to the entrance for the group to come in and apprehend the Joker.

Signal quickly stepped away, his jaw dropped in shock, as Red Hood’s laughter echoed in the distance.

Signal: What the hell did you do to him?

Red Robin (resting against the building wall): That’s for God and me to know, but pretending he was Kylar from work definitely helped me not hold back.

Signal (impress, but slightly terrified): I forgot how hardcore you are, and I’m sorry for that.

Red Robin: It’s okay. Where’s Batman?

Signal: He got held up. You’re lucky he isn’t here yet.

Red Robin shrugged and closed his eyes as he waited for the others. Nightwing and Red Hood emerged, dragging the Joker out while Orphan approached Red Robin.

Orphan (worried): You intended to… let him live, right?

Red Robin: Oh yes, I want him to live and suffer. Death is too good for him.

Orphan shrugged, nodding in agreement.

[leaving-fragments]

also i need you to know, because it is extremely funny, that the contestant who is most strategic and buys into this whole show the most has his occupation listed as ceo. of a company specialised in public speaking. of course.