#Confronting Workplace Problems

[tinakp]

Confronting Workplace Problems: Small Steps, Big Changes | Chris Beer, the Wizard of Ops™

Ever found yourself ignoring those big, ugly workplace problems? We've all been there. But it's time to face those issues head-on! This video is your call to action to transform your work environment into a healthier and more positive space.

[someonegoood]

THE CORPORATE EQUATION SERIES ✫ jeon jungkook

[f] & [a] warnings are stated in each chapter itself !!

status; finished! ✫ playlist

my main masterlist! ❀ send me a dm to be in the taglist!

in which you’ve always been the bright, optimistic Head of HR trying to make the workplace a better place, and Jungkook, the grumpy new CEO, makes it painfully clear he has no time for your idealistic notions—until a company crisis forces you both to confront the undeniable tension between you.

tags corporate!au, ceo!jk, headofhr!reader, grumpy x sunshine, slow burn, accidental vulnerability, mutual pining, emotionally unavailable jk, bickering turned bonding :)

❀ chapter one: the new ceo

after Jeon resigned as CEO, meeting his son —the new CEO— was not a good experience. Despite the tension, you notice hints of vulnerability beneath his moody exterior.

drabble #1: paper trails

drabble #2: a taste of normal

❀ chapter two: crossing boundaries

a miscommunication in HR leads to a near-PR disaster when an important client’s demands clash with employee well-being. Jungkook’s rigid solutions exacerbate the problem, and you are forced to step in.

❀ chapter three: a corporate crisis

an unexpected system crash puts sensitive employee and client data at risk. The crisis demands immediate action, forcing Jungkook and you to work together overnight.

drabble #3: good... morning?

❀ chapter four: under pressure

in the aftermath of the crisis, Jungkook becomes more receptive to your ideas, but his growing feelings leave him frustrated and defensive.

drabble #4: dinner words

drabble #5: a quiet gesture

❀ chapter five: the corporate ball

as the office buzzes with gossip about the growing tension between you and Mr. Jeon, jealousy makes its way into the workplace when Minseok starts showing more interest in you.

drabble #6: parents

❀ sweet epilogue: the retreat

the company heads out for a corporate retreat, where tensions run high and personal boundaries blur. During a casual evening event, the HR team inadvertently discovers the secret relationship between you and Jungkook, leading to curious glances, playful teasing, and a lot of unexpected questions.

no translations, modification, and copying allowed.

[daxisyzz]

⁺‧˚ ⋆ 𝐁𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐥 | 𝒃𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒚 𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒔 ⋆ ˚‧⁺ (au masterlist)

Pairings: ceo!boss!bucky barnes × fem!reader

Synopsis: An ordinary office worker becomes embroiled in a fake relationship with her icy, CEO boss, Bucky Barnes. A deal that begins as a business arrangement spirals out of control when his grandfather declares she isn't suitable to be the bride. As pretend dates bleed into genuine feelings, misunderstandings have them falling apart. But when Bucky unleashes a grand gesture, they must confront reality—was it ever truly pretend?

Inspired by the kdrama "Business Proposal"

Contents: fake dating, chaotic relationship dynamic, workplace romance, contract relationship.

☆[Follow the tag ⁺‧˚ ⋆Business Proposal⋆ ˚‧⁺ for updates]☆

Episode 8 is out now!!

Aesthetics ⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕:-

Episode 1: A blind date disaster

Episode 2: The contract relationship begins

Episode 3: The CEO’s new girlfriend

Episode 4: First date... Or boardroom strategy

Episode 5: Meet the Barnes family

Episode 6: The office bet & Jealousy problems

Episode 7: The Accidental Almost-Kiss

Episode 8: A soft CEO? Impossible

Episode 9: ....

Episode 10: ....

Episode 11:

Episode 12:

Episode 13:

Episode 14:

Episode 15:

Episode 16: ....

__________________________________________

☆[Follow the tag ⁺‧˚ ⋆Business Proposal⋆ ˚‧⁺ for updates]☆

Series Taglist: @calwitch, @scott-loki-barnes, @baw1066, @awesompawsum, @bucky-baby-barnes, @marianastudiesart, @pattiemac1, @maryevm, @borkybawnes, @mcira, @otterlycanadian, @mrsnikstan, @sebastians-love, @homiesexual-or-homosexual, @winchestert101, @julesandgems, @purplefluffycows, @brckenmemories, @avengersfan25, @samfunko, @mackevanstanfan80, @forthelovelyheart, @quinquinquincy, @ozwriterchick, @hagarsays, @sweatyconnoisseurstrawberry

[cookiekissers]

This one's a little personal and idk if you'll do it but maybe Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla standing up for a reader who's being screamed at by their coworker?? Happened to me recently and it felt awful :,) (both separate hcs)

[Pure Vanilla Cookie & Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader]

[head canons] [fluff]

Sorry this is a bit late anon, sorry to hear that happened to you and I hope you're doing better 🫶

[Pure Vanilla Cookie]

Pure Vanilla Cookie would hear the commotion and come running to your aid right away.

He would physically put himself between you and your coworker and keep them away from you until they tire themselves out enough so that he can figure out what happened.

He would quickly pacify your angry coworker, as that's something he's very good at due to his calming voice and gentle demeanor.

If you made a mistake, he can understand the frustration, but surely that's no reason to yell at you like that!

Pure Vanilla Cookie will give you an opportunity to go on a short break to calm yourself down and he will step in to help fix whatever problem that has your coworker so upset.

Pure Vanilla will vouch for you no matter what, and will resolve the situation peacefully.

After things have calmed down, he will check up on you with a snack in the break room to see if you're ok.

Pure Vanilla will comfort you as much as you need. Even if you made a mistake and it is your fault, he will stay with you and promises to help you fix it.

Later he would probably mention your coworker's outburst at you to a manager. Doing something like that is very unprofessional and unacceptable, especially if you didn't deserve it! There are many different ways to handle workplace conflict than screaming at someone.

[Shadow Milk Cookie]

Shadow Milk is not as nice as Pure Vanilla is when it comes to confronting your angry coworker.

He will very quickly butt into the "conversation" and quite directly tell your coworker to "shut up." Shadow Milk doesn't care if they start screaming at him next. He can take it.

Shadow Milk will point out that your coworker is embarrassing themselves by causing a scene in front of everyone, and point out all the people staring.

He will secretly cause a scene elsewhere and tell them to handle it, and while your coworker is distracted, he comforts you and brings you to a quiet area for you to calm down. Shadow Milk will also make an effort to crack a few jokes to make you smile.

This coworker is now on Shadow Milk's shit list for yelling at you. Of course, everything he does to them will be completely petty and won't be able to be traced back to him or you.

Shadow Milk will "accidentally" trip them, spill food on them, stealing their lunch, and start reporting them constantly for minor infractions to management.

Will talk shit behind their back and act sweet to their face. He will make you feel better about the situation, if your mind ever lingers on the painful memory of being yelled at, Shadow Milk will distract you with a catty comment about your coworker.

Shadow Milk is petty, but he'll always be on your side. If your coworker ever tries to pick a fight with you again, Shadow Milk Cookie will back you up.

[heroesneedalancer]

Post by u/DJConvex to r/AskReddit on Nov 6, 2024:

People who work in DC for the government, what is the vibe?

Comment by u/Meduselde:

Resigned. We are generally very good about not discussing politics in the workplace but the vibe was obviously off. My more conservative colleagues who were happy Trump won were extremely respectful. There wasn't smug gloating and they were very obviously being cognizant of others' feelings even more than normal. It was extremely appreciated. Ultimately, we survived the first administration and will survive again. It's not necessarily Trump who was the problem last time, but his inexperienced senior appointees. The world isn't going to end nor do I feel democracy will crumble at his feet. It's just gonna be chaotic, and that's the worst part as a worker bee. At least with Biden we had consistent leadership and clear guidance, even if you didn't agree with it. Under Trump, your "yes man" says "no" and that's how you rotate through four SECDEFs. But as a sign of hope, it also means that even the most loyal DO say "no" sometimes, especially when businessmen are finally confronted with the realities of governance.

They chill out REAL quick on their dismantlement plans when they see the work these agencies do and what's at stake if they don't stand up for their people. It's easy to say you will dissolve or cut funding for something when you do not truly understand it. And as much as people say we can ALL be magically replaced with "yes men," even the most stone-hearted appointees recognize that the last thing you ever want is to lose the entirety of your skilled workforce. They learn it's best to get the skilled people to work towards their vision and not hire enthusiastic but stupid people to attempt the same. If they do, they risk looking inept themselves. You don't get skilled federal workers in a blue portion of the country to work for you by being a fucking Nazi. We're cranky and will make your life hell if you behave like that. I'm not talking about some sort of organized resistance movement because we feel like it. That's wrong. But just imagine hundreds of thousands pissed off at you. If that's the Deep State at work, then we aspire to be the quality of swampy Deep State your racist uncle thinks we are. If implementing dictatorship was that easy, Trump would have taken out every agency his last term and fired us all. I am actually extremely proud of the resiliency and checks and balances that the American federal government has in place to prevent most of the shit he says he can achieve by waving a magic executive wand. (He's done this once. He knows he can't. He just lets the majority of the population believe he can.) Us feds will make it, as we always have.

And we will live up to our oath to serve the Constitution, not a president. We serve every official of every party faithfully within the bounds of legalities and our oath. Working for administrations you may not like it's just a part of the job that we all recognize. Public servants at the federal level generally hold that extremely close to their heart. The ones that don't (I'm talking to YOU, WaPo "informants!") put us to shame. We're just tired, man. I can't believe it has already been four years since the last round. There's going to be some waves, no doubt, and some people definitely are going to be hurt at upper levels. But grab a Twisted Tea and buckle up. We'll at least pretend it's meant to be a roller coaster and ride it. TL;Dr Democracy is not going to die. But a drink and "thanks" would go a long way.

EDIT: Woah! I woke up this morning and am surprised by how much traction this got. I'm sad that this was the most positive thing some people had read. I'm sorry it's been that bad. I am not predicting outcomes. I have no idea how it's going to go. It's going to be bloody. But the hope I am trying to get across is that we are a resilient people and a group of (generally) good people. It will be okay, okay? The people that really make or break your daily life are those around you and your local government. Hold those around you close to your heart and always be kind. Everybody go outside, take a deep breath, eat something you love, and hug your grandma (even if she voted differently). The world is still turning and the sky is still blue. Being surrounded by spiraling anger on the internet only makes us the losers, not those we disagree with. The only thing we can do right now is wait. We have a few months to cool off! Enjoy your holidays!

EDIT 2: I think everybody has forgotten about this, but go check out the memorandum signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff at the end of Trump's first term after January 6. The feds basically said "fuck that" when people were scared that the government was going to turn the military on them to help Trump in some way. While it was specifically addressed to our armed forces members, it was spread throughout the DOD and beyond. Partially as a result of federal workers' fear (not actually ordered, to be crystal clear) that they would be asked to turn on citizens. This sentiment was echoed across the entire government via internal emails (from Trump appointees!) as well to the civilian workforce. That's one of my proudest moments as an American and why I know we will get through it.

Emphasis mine. Link to original Reddit Post. Link to an article about the aforementioned memorandum signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Don't give up. We will get through this.

[cyberclouddream]

The 6th House and Bad Fortunes

In Hellenistic astrology the 6th house is referred to the “place of bad fortune”, connected to disease and decline in vitality. Here it’s more associated with hardships and illness than daily routines and activities. This is due to it being twelve houses away from the 7th house, which would mean imprisonment to significant commitments, like our health and vitality.

It represents the challenges that arise when our creative and romantic aspirations meet reality. By addressing the issues related to health, routines, and service we can transform the challenges here into opportunities.

Aries Rising

- tedious jobs that demand grinding

- may clean up after others or work beneath your skill level

- burnout because of perfectionism

- overworking with little recognition

- hypochondria; frequent doctor’s visits or checkups

- nitpicky with coworkers

Remedies: balanced diet; prioritize and delegate tasks; activities that promote self-improvement; face issues head-on; eliminate distractions; learn to say no

Taurus Rising

- passive-aggressive co-workers

- people-pleasing overload

- headaches or skin problems

- jobs that lack beauty or creativity

- indecisive career path

- superficial relationship with colleagues

Remedies: make workplace aesthetically pleasing; distinguish supportive relationships from toxic ones; take proactive steps to manage burnout; stay physically active

Gemini Rising

- jobs full of manipulation, power struggles, or drama

- unhealthy or overwhelming intensity at work

- anxiety, digestive issues, or fatigue

- strong desire for control over work environment and tasks clash

- help others with hidden agendas

Remedies: stop avoiding hard tasks; let go of grudges; find a life outside of work; channel rage into work; get regular check ups

Cancer Rising

- dissatisfaction in routines

- overcommitting to responsibilities

- lack of exercise, weight issues, digestive problems

- conflict with traditions or authority

- too much optimism

Remedies: learn to focus on tasks; be wary of escapism; be honest about what you can handle; establish flexible routines

Leo Rising

- rigid rules or strict hierarchies in workplace

- relentless pursuit for success

- issues with bones, joints, or skin

- missing opportunities for joy

- feelings of isolation and loneliness

Remedies: drop guilt about labor and delegate tasks; don’t take work too seriously; reassess goals if feeling stagnant or underappreciated

Virgo Rising

- jobs that feel misaligned with values or ideals

- alienation at work

- inconsistent health practices; issues with circulation, nervous system, or sudden changes in well-being

- rebel against routine tasks or authority figures

- difficulties with structure or traditional methods

Remedies: make decisions instead of overthinking; engage more with colleagues; address and change when there’s discomfort; stop idealizing job or coworkers; embrace structure

Libra Rising

- neglect important tasks and responsibilities

- elusive health issues; frustration when seeking health solutions; often feel tired without clear reason

- sensitivity leads to overwhelming emotional labor

- lack of structure in workplace

- romanticizing hardships, sacrifices, or struggles

Remedies: stop dreaming and start doing; get real about health issues; don’t overindulge in pleasures; don’t let feelings dictate work ethic; confront conversations and conflicts head-on

Scorpio Rising

- rush into tasks without proper planning

- take on too much workload at once

- headaches, high blood pressure, or injuries over overexertion

- struggles with monotonous tasks

- inconsistent motivations

Remedies: think before you speak to not burn bridges; learn to collaborate; own your mistakes; get organized

Sagittarius Rising

- stuck in unfulfilling jobs that lack progress

- overindulge in comforts; overeating or neglecting physical activity

- resistance to new opportunities and changes at work

- jobs that offer little financial security

- neglecting mental health

Remedies: don’t cling to routines or methods; avoid complacency; don’t overindulge in comfort foods or luxuries; don’t expect people to read your mind

Capricorn Rising

- erratic work performance

- overwhelmed by too many projects

- headaches, digestive issues, or anxiety

- resist structured routines

- prioritize mental stimulation over exercise or proper nutrition

Remedies: don’t take on too many tasks at once; confront workplace drama; avoid procrastination; make time for resting well; think before you speak to avoid misunderstandings

Aquarius Rising

- difficulty separating feelings from workplace

- fluctuating health issues, like digestive problems or issues linked to their emotional state

- prioritizing helping others over their own needs

- home dynamics effect work

- lack of professional boundaries

Remedies: don’t play victim; set emotional boundaries at work; don’t beat around the bush; avoid overindulgence; be realistic about your limitations

Pisces Rising

- snuggle with recognition at work

- desires for leadership clash with authority

- neglect health for status and appearance

- difficulties maintaining routine

- dramatic responses to setbacks, like unnecessary stress

Remedies: quit trying to be the center of attention at work; limit drama and theatrics; don’t let your pride blind from constructive criticism; be a team player; avoid overcommitting because of your passion;

[leaf-line]

For the request, can I please have Yandere Topaz, Jade, and Ruan Mei x people pleasure reader headcanon (seperate).

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭

Yandere! Topaz/Jade/Ruan Mei x Gn! Reader

❏ In which your selfless deeds catch someone's attention for no good reason.

cw: suggestive themes, dehumanization, isolation, brainwashing, non-consensual (french) kiss, Ruan Mei being gross.

w/c: 1,484

"Care for a drink Miss Topaz? Maybe I can help with your problems..." You offer a juice to her, and a hand. Co-worker [Name], a diligent worker in the Strategic Investment Department, seen around doing favors and extra work just for everyone... But why won't you just help her and only her instead?

"Oh, thank you! And no thank you, I can do these all by myself, how about you take care of yourself, and take a rest? You're always so helpful, [Name]." Topaz takes the juice gratefully with a smile.

"No... The same goes for you, Miss Topaz, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here having this position." You bow your head before hearing someone call you.

"[Name]! Do you have anything to do right now!? I need you assistance with this—"

"Yes! Yes! Coming right up!" You scurry to the voice, but not before giving a little wave to Topaz.

She returns the wave. Before looking back to the screen... And frowns. "It's only a matter of time." She mumbles.

Oddly enough, in the next three days after just being in the IPC, you were announced as Topaz's own personal assistant.

"This is... A bit surprising... But I look forward to being your assistant from now on, Miss Topaz." You smile, she smiles too.

"No, Jelena is fine, you're my assistant now, right? You don't need to be formal. I just have one rule... Don't assist any other workers from the IPC if it's not me, alright?" She orders.

"May I ask why...?"

"I simply don't want you to be led astray from your work, now, am I clear?"

What... a weird request, but you follow it nonetheless. For one day, that is, you only lasted one day, when that another co-worker of yours, begged for your assistance, you couldn't refuse, you weren't trained for that.

"Awh come on, [Name]! Just because you're now Topaz's assistant, doesn't mean you don't have to help your other co-workers too!" The person in front of you moaned.

"I'm sorry but, Miss Topa—Jelena advised me not to—"

"It's just very little work, it won't kill you will it? Just help me."

"...A-Alright, fine..."

...After that time, you never saw that same co-worker again the next day, from what you've seen, he was fired from his job because of workplace harassment, you don't know if it's true, you doubt that it's true... and Jelena... didn't seem happy when she confronts you about your deed.

"Didn't I personally said to you that you shouldn't assist anyone other than me?"

She sighs and shakes her head disappointedly. Your back was facing the wall as she pushes up her thigh below your crotch.

"I can't believe you would just disobey me that early, maybe I should start teaching you and training so you won't be pushed around from others like that."

Teaching you and training you like a pet, that is. A cute, little pet who won't disobey her master. That's what Topaz shamelessly labels you as.

You walked into the pawn shop nervously. You swallow, feeling like you've entered a dangerous territory.

"Welcome to Bonajade Exchange. Who are you? And what do you seek?" An unfamiliar and elegant voice rang from behind the curtain.

"I wish... To help my friends." You mumbled out loud.

"Hm? Why is that?" Though you can't see her, you can feel her smiling through her lips. "Are you sure you're here for the sake of someone else?" She muses.

"They've... Been struggling with expenses, I don't know what offer you but myself... I owe them many." You tell her with a sad tone.

"You're sacrificing yourself for the sake of your friend? That's very noble, we can arrange that. Though, since you're here at my pawnshop, I'd like to hear what you want for your own self."

"No need. I'll do what I can to help other people." You fidget, yet say with full honestly, Lady Bonajade senses that. There is not single greedy bone in your body, fellows like you were rare, it's about time she found a rare gem, just like Jelena.

"I see," She raises the curtains. "In exchange for other people's needs, why don't you work at this shop?" She offers.

You cleaned the pawnshop, bargained for Jade, advertised the shop for the people in need. You kept the store running, but you didn't show any signs of uplifting the profits into another level, you were just a side piece, keeping the shop regulating like normal, and it was insufficient for Jade.

But it's fine, Jade doesn't leave an exchange until she gets real value.

You were cut ties from your family thinking that you were just busy and working hard to provide yourself and sending a lot of resources to them, your friends were now happy and financially stable but never really checked on you whether your doing good, the people you care and know were healthy, but they don't need you. Now you find your hands weighting chains, attached to the shackle on your wrist.

If there's one thing Jade found joy in, it's reaping a pure, untaited, soul.

"Come closer here," Jade gestures you to come over, you obey, broken. You see her lips, tainted with dark red lipstick, it comes closer, not on your face.

And just as Adam bit the apple, Jade bites your neck.

"Ruan Mei, you're burnt out, please take a rest, I'll handle all of this research." You place a blanket on her shoulder.

"Would you like a cup of tea? A plate of cake? Embroider something? Please inform me, I'll... I'll handle it." You say with a smile.

Ruan Mei was tired, she had been researching Aeons for a couple of weeks, barely feeding herself. And usually, when Ruan Mei was tired, she wouldn't entrust anyone with her research... Except for you.

Ruan Mei's trusty little assistant, whom she's sure no matter what she asks you for, you would do that.

"...I want a cake." She answers, though delayed.

"Oh, alright!" You seem delighted to be doing a favor. You ran into the kitchen, preparing the food as Ruan Mei daydreams.

Why were you so insistent in helping her? Why do you do everything in your power to please her? You're strange, a strange person, Ruan Mei shouldn't care, she shouldn't care about your well being, she shouldn't care why your here to help her.

"I'm at your service, Ruan Mei."

"Do you need any help? I'll be sure to help you with what you need, Ruan Mei."

"Ruan Mei."

"Ruan Mei."

"Ruan Mei—"

"Ruan Mei, your desert is ready..." She snaps out of her daydream and glances at you, then the plate you're holding.

She blinks. "Apologies, I blanked out."

"It's alright."

You don't say her name, she's just a bit slightly dissapointed. But it was never shown in her face.

You hand over the dessert you made for her, she takes it. You studied Ruan Mei's personal favorite desserts, food, tea and how it's all tailored to Ruan Mei's tastes. Your cooking is always bound to be above her expectations.

She takes a bite of the cake and you see her lips curl up by two milimeters, which sounds a lot.

"...Would like me to share?" She must've noticed you staring at her, you shake your head at the offer. "I mean no harm, I simply want to share my food to you, is that alright?"

You obey her regardless...

She looks at her research paper, at the table, only to get a headache since none if it provided her help towards her goal. She opts focusing on you instead.

"Here, say ahh..." Using the spoon, she takes a good amount of portion of the cake and tried to feed you with it like you're a baby.

"Ruan Mei, that is a bit... Embarrassing..."

You said her name, she relishes.

"It's fine, you only deserve, after all the times you helped me, come on, you don't need to lift a finger." She pushes the spoon to your lips, so you awkwardly open your mouth and the cake enters.

"...Say my name." She orders, but your eating something... That's not a problem, right?

"Ruan Mei, wh—Mmph!?"

She intrudes, exploring your mouth with her tongue, feeling the food that you personally made for her, she takes a part of it, and exits your mouth.

She swallows the cake with your saliva coatted in it then licks her lips. "Mm. Delectable." She nods, as if she's rating the experience with 4.5 stars.

You were left there with a dumbfounded expression, confused, perhaps even grossed out.

It's fine, brainwashing isn't hard to conduct, you'll forget this ever happened in no time. Just as how you forgot you were trapped in her home against your will in the first place.

a/n: mmm... manipulative women... 😋

[dearlenore]

I just found your account recently and I have fallen in love with your writing, it's so beautiful.

Could you do something with protective reader. Like where reader and spencer like each other but are to oblivious to the others feelings to do anything but when reader finds out Spencer's being teased by some people she goes off on them (even though spencer assures it's not a big deal). And when spencer confronts her about why she did that she confesses on accident.

Hope this makes any sence 🫶🏻

A GOOD GIRL’S GUIDE TO DESTRUCTION • S.REID

SUMMARY: when you discover your workplace crush is being bullied by some loser agents with a room temperature IQ, you decide it would be criminal to allow it to stand and show them their place in the bullpen.

PAIRING: Bau!fem!reader x preseason1!spencer

tags: reader is a a little mean, reader wears heels, reader is canonly SUPER hot, lowkey bullying, use of y/n once or twice I think???, feminine reader,

a/n: WAIT this is so frickin cute also YES BABY IM BACK DOING REQUESTS!!🥹❤️ took a 2 day break (how dare I) and now I’m back, working on a Coraline / sex w a ghost inspired Spencer fic so be ready guysss also Tim Bradford content soon anyways to the fic!💋

w/c: 2K

THE BULLPEN BUZZED with its usual chaos — phones ringing, agents shuffling between desks, and voices blending into a low hum. You were perched elegantly at your desk, pretending to scroll through messages on your phone while discreetly watching Spencer across the room.

You knew how people saw you — effortlessly polished, always put together. Your glossy hair framed your face perfectly, your designer blouse tucked neatly into a fitted dress pants that showed off your figure without being unprofessional. Agents often paused mid-sentence when you walked by, some too intimidated to even meet your gaze.

But right now? You were watching him.

Spencer’s curls fell messily over his forehead as he scribbled furiously in his notebook, bottom lip caught between his teeth. His brow furrowed in that focused way you adored — like he was trying to solve the universe itself in that tiny notebook.

Adorable, you thought, your fingers drumming lazily on your desk.

That was when you heard it — the unmistakable snicker of two agents across the room.

“Can you believe this guy?” one of them muttered, voice just loud enough to carry. “He’s probably writing love notes to his library card.”

The other chuckled. “I bet he has dinner with his sock drawer — alphabetized, of course.”

Your gaze snapped toward them. Spencer, naturally oblivious, kept his head down, pretending not to hear — or maybe he genuinely didn’t care.

But you did.

It wasn’t just that they were mocking him — it was who they were mocking. Spencer, who always brought you coffee exactly how you liked it. Spencer, who explained things in a way that never made you feel dumb. Spencer, who once offered to walk you home after a late case, rambling nervously the entire way because he didn’t know how to flirt properly — but you secretly loved every second of it.

Nobody — nobody — humiliated Spencer Reid on your watch.

Game on.

“Morning,” you said sweetly, your voice carrying just enough sugar to make your presence impossible to ignore. You approached the agents’ desks with your coffee cup balanced delicately in hand — nails painted a glossy shade of crimson that matched your lipstick.

“Oh, sorry,” you added with faux surprise, setting your coffee down — directly on top of one of their open case files with a splash. The paper instantly darkened as the liquid seeped in, staining the pages in messy brown splotches. “Did I interrupt your little gossip session?”

Both men froze, their smug expressions faltering.

“Oops,” you said with a smile — sharp, intentional.

The taller of the two — Agent Neanderthal, as you’d mentally labeled him — scowled. “What’s your problem?”

“Oh, no problem,” you said airily, straightening your posture so you towered just enough to make him feel small. “I was just wondering…” You leaned in closer, your voice dropping to a low purr. “Should I mention your little trip to The Yellow Rose last Friday?”

His face twitched.

“I’m sure your wife would love to hear how ‘late paperwork’ somehow turned into a two-hour stay at a certain gentleman’s club.”

His face drained of color so fast you wondered if you should fetch him some water — if only to dump it on his head.

“And you…” You turned to the second agent, your gaze cutting through him like a blade. “I heard your performance review is coming up.” Your smile sharpened. “Did you really forget to file those evidence logs from last month?”

“That’s not even —”

You gasped dramatically, placing a hand over your chest as if you were devastated by the revelation. “Oh no! I’d hate for this to reflect poorly on your career.”

His jaw tightened.

“So,” you added sweetly, stepping back and adjusting your silk blouse like you were bored already, “maybe next time you feel like mocking someone, you’ll remember you’re not exactly invincible.”

When you returned to your desk, you didn’t just sit — you practically posed. Perched elegantly on the corner of it, legs crossed just so, you let one stiletto dangle lazily from your feet — an effortless power move. Your silk blouse hugged your figure perfectly, hair sleek and immaculate, makeup flawless. You knew exactly how to command a room without saying a word — and today, that power was directed squarely at two very unfortunate agents.

You ensured you had a perfect line of sight to the pair — Agent Neanderthal and his equally unpleasant sidekick. Both were still stewing from your earlier encounter, heads down and lips tight. Good. Let them simmer.

Moments later, Penelope approached with her tablet in hand, her bright ensemble — purple heels, a floral dress, and glitter-covered glasses — making her impossible to miss. She wore a mischievous smile, her eyes practically sparkling with glee.

“Oh my gosh,” she gushed dramatically, loud enough to grab nearby attention. “Thank you for sending me that!”

“Sending you what?” you asked innocently, your voice light but your smile sharper than glass.

“You know,” Penelope grinned, practically bouncing on her heels. “The picture of the surveillance feed from last week?”

You bit back a smirk. “Ohhh… that.”

With a flourish, Penelope turned her tablet toward you — and there it was: a glorious shot of Agent Neanderthal, visibly drunk, stumbling out of a bar. His tie hung loosely around his neck, shirt half-untucked. The real gem, however, was the moment his foot caught on the curb — resulting in a spectacular faceplant onto the sidewalk.

“Oh wow,” you said, loud enough for your voice to carry across the bullpen. You tapped your chin thoughtfully, feigning surprise. “I didn’t realize he was so… graceful.”

The agents around you chuckled quietly.

One of the men in question froze, his face turning crimson as he locked eyes with you. His hand instinctively shot up to shield his face like that would somehow erase the memory.

“Oh, don’t be shy!” Penelope chimed in sweetly. “I’ve been thinking — maybe I should edit it to include some slow-motion effects. You know, like one of those sports fail videos?”

“I love that,” you agreed, grinning wider. “Oh! Maybe you can add some dramatic music too — something classy. Like ‘Ave Maria.’”

“Genius,” Penelope gasped, clicking her fingers like she’d just discovered a new planet.

By now, the nearby agents — including Derek — were openly snickering.

“Man,” Derek chuckled, “I didn’t think I’d live to see someone out-mean girl literally any Highschool drama.”

You shot him a wink. “What can I say? Some of us just have a gift.”

Out of the corner of your eye, Agent Neanderthal shot you a murderous glare. His face was still flushed, beads of sweat gathering at his hairline.

“Careful,” you said sweetly as you passed him on your way to refill your coffee. “Wouldn’t want you to trip again.”

The bullpen had settled into a lazy hum by late afternoon — phones quieter, conversations softer, agents slumped in their chairs as they chipped away at paperwork. The air smelled faintly of stale coffee and printer ink.

Spencer was still at his desk, flipping through his notebook as usual. His curls flopped over his forehead, obscuring his face as his pen scratched rapidly across the page. He was deep in thought — his brow furrowed, lips slightly parted.

Completely willingly oblivious, as always.

And while that boy-genius brain of his could memorize entire encyclopedias, he somehow never seemed to notice the way you lingered near his desk a little longer than necessary or how you always ended up next to him during briefings.

Today wasn’t going to be one of those days.

As you strolled past Agent Neanderthal’s desk, you paused just long enough to deliver your final strike.

“Oh,” you said sweetly, your voice carrying just loud enough to ensure everyone nearby could hear. “I mentioned to Strauss that you’d be perfect for re-cataloging the evidence archives this weekend. She seemed thrilled.”

His head snapped up so fast you were almost impressed he didn’t get whiplash. “You what?”

“You’re welcome,” you said with a bright, saccharine smile before turning on your heel.

Behind you, you heard a chorus of muffled snickers — Derek’s laugh unmistakable among them.

“Damn,” Derek muttered. “I almost feel bad for the guy.”

“Don’t,” Penelope chimed in from her perch by the coffee station, eyes gleaming. “He had it coming.”

Your heels clicked sharply against the floor as you walked back toward your desk, each step a silent victory lap.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Spencer said softly, his voice pulling you from your smug haze.

“Do what?” you asked, still feigning innocence.

“Y/N…” He sighed, stepping closer. His gaze flicked briefly toward Agent Neanderthal’s desk, where the man was still sulking. “I know what you did. The coffee spill, the pictures, the whole ‘Strauss’ thing. You didn’t have to —”

“Yes, I did,” you cut him off, your voice sharper than you intended.

Spencer blinked in surprise.

“I heard what they were saying,” you continued, your tone softer now. “You sit there, minding your business, doing your job — and they still have the nerve to make you feel like you don’t belong.”

“I don’t care what they think,” Spencer insisted. “It’s not worth —”

“Well, I care,” you shot back.

The words hung heavy in the air, your frustration bubbling just under the surface.

“I care because you’re… you’re you, Spencer.” You exhaled sharply, your arms crossing tightly over your chest. “And they don’t get to treat you like you’re some kind of joke.”

Spencer opened his mouth to respond, but you weren’t finished.

“I mean, what did you think I was gonna do?” you asked, your voice turning casual, almost amused. “You’re my favorite person. I’m obviously gonna step in.”

Spencer frowned slightly. “Wait… what?”

You blinked, confused by his confusion.

“Spencer,” you said with a laugh, “I’m in love with you. You knew that.”

The bullpen noise seemed to dull in an instant — a vacuum of silence swallowing the air between you.

Spencer’s expression twisted in slow motion — brows furrowing, mouth slightly agape, eyes wide with disbelief. “Wait… what?”

You frowned, the realization hitting you. “Oh my God… you didn’t know?”

“I…” Spencer stammered, still stuck somewhere between baffled and frozen. “No?”

“Oh.” You paused, trying to wrap your head around how he didn’t know. “I just… I thought you figured it out.”

“How?” Spencer asked incredulously, his hands gesturing wildly now. “How was I supposed to know that?”

You tilted your head, counting the obvious signs on your fingers. “I make you coffee every morning. I let you ramble about statistics even when I don’t care. I watched that entire chess documentary just so I could understand what you were talking about last month — which, by the way, was four hours long.”

Spencer’s lips twitched like he wanted to smile but couldn’t quite manage it.

“I’ve been ridiculously obvious,” you continued. “Honestly, I thought Penelope was going to start making PowerPoint presentations about it.”

Spencer let out a soft laugh, running a hand through his curls. “I… I didn’t know.”

“Well, now you do,” you said with a shrug, like you hadn’t just confessed your heart to him in the middle of the bullpen.

Spencer stared at you for a beat too long — like he was trying to process some unsolvable equation. Then, without warning, he stepped forward and kissed you.

His lips were warm and soft against yours — hesitant at first, like he was still waiting for you to push him away. But when you leaned in closer, his hand instinctively found your waist, fingers curling in your blouse like he couldn’t quite believe you were real.

You smiled against his lips, heart racing.

When you finally pulled back, Spencer’s face was flushed, his eyes still half-lidded like he was dazed.

“You know,” he murmured breathlessly, “I was… uh… trying to figure out how to tell you I liked you too.”

“Oh?” you grinned. “Well, I think I handled that better than you would have.”

“Yeah,” Spencer said softly, a warm smile spreading across his face. “You definitely did.”

“Well,” you teased, fingers curling around his perpetually crooked tie to straighten it, “I’m good at a lot of things.”

“Yeah,” Spencer repeated, gaze warm as it lingered on you. “You are.”

From across the room, Penelope’s voice rang out, far too smug to be accidental.

“I knew it!”

[hritika13-tamboli]

Jeon Jungkook Fic Recs List 6....

Series...

Between the ride and the roses || biker/ motorcycle shop owner! jungkook x flower shop owner! reader | enemies to lovers || @focusonkayjay

Summary: There's an insane turn of events when your calm and peaceful life is intruded by Jungkook, a biker boy who sets up his loud business right next to your own. Your paths cross under unlikely circumstances, starting with a clash of personalities but gradually you find yourself establishing a deeper connection with the annoyingly attractive biker jerk. You both have no idea what's in store for you guys as you try your best to put up with each other.

Sugar and coffee || jungkook x reader |Pâtisserie school!AU | college!au | E2L || @jimlingss

Summary: It isn't hard to be a pâtisserie chef, but it's not a piece of cake either. It seems like for you in particular, life keeps throwing in one wrench after another. It always finds ways to make your sweets bitter. The cherry on top is Jeon Jungkook — a rival with a sensitive sweet tooth who always finds ways to complain about you.

The third wheel || boyfriendJJK x OC named Siri | Established relationship au || @smoljimjim

Summary: What do you do when you realise you're standing in the way of your partner being with their true love? Siri is faced with this predicament, and she's not sure whether to stay with Jungkook, or let him go.

Anti-romantic || Boxer!Jungkook x fem!reader | Enemies to lovers | neighbors || @armpirate

Summary: Jungkook had always been carefree when it came to love. He always believed he was worth sharing himself with everyone, and thought it was selfish of him to ever think of keeping himself exclusive to just one person.

And maybe that was exactly what got him into the big problem he was in.

A curse that kept him away from love didn't seem an issue for him. The fact that his ex-girlfriend thought he'd be affected by the idea of the girls he slept with running away from him after sex was ridiculous. She actually did him a favor, and took a burden away from him.

At least that was what he thought at first.

He had never found himself thinking of the possibility of repeating with neither of his hook ups, because they disappeared before he was able to even think about it. But when he makes the mistake of sleeping with the sexy neighbor that lives in front of him, he finds himself hoping to get the chance for a second round every time their paths cross.

Y/n hated him the second he set foot inside the building by the way he started making her life a miserable mess for no reason. Sleeping with him was a big mistake she wasn't thinking of repeating. At least not until he came up with the excuse that she rejected him for a curse. Not only she thought he was annoying, but she was also convinced he was crazy. 

There was no way she could take him seriously.

Bow to you || King!Jungkook x Queen!OC (Name: Belle) | royal au | infidelity || @flowerwrites06

Summary: fic where he’s Y/n’s husband and is unfaithful?

Corporate equation || ceo!jk x headofhr!reader | corporate!au | grumpy x sunshine || @someonegoood

Summary: in which you’ve always been the bright, optimistic Head of HR trying to make the workplace a better place, and Jungkook, the grumpy new CEO, makes it painfully clear he has no time for your idealistic notions—until a company crisis forces you both to confront the undeniable tension between you.

Night changes || fuckboy!jungkookie x reader | college au || @neonlights92

Summary: Jeon Jungkook has spent the last twenty years alone.  Single.  Solo. 

And that’s just the way he likes it.  That is, until he meets the supposed love of his life.  Suddenly he’s falling over himself at the chance of a real relationship with someone.

The only thing getting in his way? You.

One-shot...

Too late || mafia!jungkook x fiance!reader || @jksarchives

Summary: after all the promises he made, Jungkook was too late.

“Besties for the Resties?" || Jungkook x reader | Bestfriends to lovers || @jessikahathaway

Summary: Jungkook had always been your friend since the day you two met as young kids. But what happens when your friendship is put to the test? Can you remain “besties for the resties?” Or will years of friendship be lost in the blink of an eye?

The vows between us || JK x fem!reader | Arranged marriage || @armpirate

Summary: For Jungkook, marrying you was a calculated move -a necessary step to secure the company that was rightfully his. But also a move to know you'd be his after years of looking at you from afar. For you, it was an escape from the gilded cage your family had locked you in. What neither of you anticipated was the spark that would ignite in the ashes of your arrangement. But in a world where every touch felt like a promise and every whisper hid a secret, falling for him was your first mistake. Because just when you thought his heart might truly be yours, you uncovered the truth. Or so you thought.

Once upon a bracelet || Prince Jungkook x Sorceress Reader | Fantasy | Soulmates | Enemies to Lovers | Fairytale || @ladyartemesia

Summary: were born to nothing, but your powerful craft caught the eye of a charming prince. However, his distinctly un-charming younger brother challenged your betrothal and is routinely challenging you. Jeon Jungkook is (probably) a former necromancer and (definitely) the wrong prince… But the bracelets tell a different story.

A jar full of us || bestfriend!jungkook x reader | unrequited love | bestfriendtolovers || @jincapableoflove

Summary: You never meant for him to find them. Hundred little confessions, folded away, never meant to be read. But now, they’re in his hands. And Jungkook—your best friend—knows everything. But he doesn’t say a word. He just watches you, with that same unreadable expression, like he’s waiting for something. And this Valentine’s Day, you might just have to find out what.

I love you, I'm sorry || boyfriendJJK x reader | Established relationship || @wonyqt

Summary: Having an argument with jungkook

Whipped || tiktoker!jungkook x reader | Established relationship || @aquagustd

Summary: another day, another trend that you’re forced to participate in with your boyfriend. It was his idea but he somehow gets sidetracked, with his head between your thighs.

Mid night whispers two-shots || Dominant!jungkook x reader | forbidden love | toxic relationship | infidelity || @jjkssin

Summary: Jeon , a ruthless man bound by duty, his heart claimed by a woman he can never make his own. He gives her everything but denies her the one thing she craves: commitment. When love turns into an ultimatum, fate delivers a devastating price.

Dirty little secret || bf!jungkook x gf!reader || @jjkcherry

Summary: you ’re tired of being hidden away, and he’s given one last chance to show you what you mean to him.

Wherever there is you || husband!jungkook x reader || @jeonstudios

Summary: “you've been drinking tonight, haven't you?"

What money can buy || sugar baby!jk x rich/ceo female reader || @jeonstudios

Summary: in need of money, jeongguk signs up as a sugar baby, assuming he’ll be paid for sex by some old kinky woman. he never expected to meet someone like you. what were you doing on that site, and why would you have to pay for company?

Deal || demon!jk x reader | supernatural au || @jeonstudios

Summary: do you do when your teenage brother’s cancer is too far gone? well, you summon a cocky crossroad demon to make a deal; your life for taehyung’s.

Hold on to me || CeoHusband!Jungkook x Wife!Reader | Established relationship au || @kooklovee

Summary: husband forgets your second anniversary. What starts as disappointment and heartbreak soon spirals into doubt—about your love, your marriage, and whether he even sees you anymore. But when Jungkook realizes his mistake, he’s willing to do anything to prove that his love has never wavered. Can he make it up to you, or is it already too late?

[mongoosingisme]

Okay hear me out, what about Shane and the farmer having a rocky relationship, where the farmer instantly liked Shane because of his dry humor and saw past his mean act. So farmer keeps pushing Shane to open up and (very much against his will) he starts catching feelings for the farmer, and starts avoiding her (them?) out of wanting to avoid the whole feelings situation. So farmer confronts Shane and they have a huge ‘hey I’m into you idiot’ moment where Shane just gives in

(Pictured it very intense and definitely smutty but if can be sfw if you want, just dropping the idea and leaving. K bye!)

Hi Friend. Thank you so much for your patience <3 Been saving this for the right moment, and the time has finally come.

So I've been ripping my hair out the past few weeks trying to wrap this Shane series up in an emotionally satisfying way. Turns out the reason I couldn't get it to work was because we needed to hear from our farmer.

So that's what this is. Turns out our farmer has a lot to say. Sorry about that. Been tooling around with it for a bit, and have gotten to a point where I just kind of need to kick it out of the nest to keep momentum going.

To anyone who has been following this thing: thank you. I love how collaborative its been. I'm not sure if I want to wrap things up in one more fic or keep it rolling. I could probably keep it rolling if there was interest. So... let me know!

Okay. That's far too much housekeeping. Thanks for bearing with me.

Title: Einmal ist Keinmal

Series: Pepper Problems (see parts one, two, and three)

Pairing: Shane x fem!reader

Word Count: 5250 (whoops)

Rating: Explicit. 18+ only, if you would be so kind.

Tags and fic below the cut.

Tags: kissing, workplace shenanigans, vaginal fingering, dirty talk

This fic is part four of a series - start at part one here!

When the farmer was in high school she'd taken a German class. She'd forgotten almost everything she learned, but one phrase stuck in her head:

Einmal ist keinmal

Once is never.

It meant that value was found in repetition. 

If you planted a seed and only watered it once, you may as well have not planted it at all.

If you cast your line into the water and gave up the first time you pulled it back empty, could you really say you had gone fishing?

If you moved to a new town, started a new life, and only made an effort to ingratiate yourself once, have you really established yourself? Have you really earned your place?

It didn't feel that way. 

Starting over is a privilege. The farmer knew this, and she tried not to take it for granted.

It echoed in her mind, a quiet anxiety as she cleared the land, planted the seeds, built the barn, fed the dog, stretched her aching muscles. It was a privilege to be here, where it was quiet and safe. A privilege to be tucked in the valley, where words like “war” and “extremism” and “conspiracy” and “economy” carried so little weight in the day to day. It was a privilege to be here, and privileges could be taken away. 

It was hard to explain, the feeling that dogged her. The suspicion that this was all temporary. Life didn't work like this. You don't get to just pack up and leave a place that doesn't fit you, move to somewhere lush and quiet and green, build a new life that molds itself to your shape. That's not how life works. Life was rough and jagged and real, and if she wasn't very, very careful it'd swallow her back up again, and this thing she was building out here on her farm would be snatched away. 

The farmer wanted to be where she was, so she tried.

Tried to farm well.

Tried to be capable.

Tried to be a member of her new community, to be someone worth knowing. If she could root herself here, she felt, then eventually she'd belong, and what was a privilege would become her right. 

At least, that's how it felt.

So she started going into town more in the summer. Crops planted, watered by sprinklers. Cows and chickens big enough. The dog all comfortable and lazy under a tree. She could fill her bag with gifts, try to find a stabilizing presence in the other people in the valley.

She met her neighbors slowly at first, committing names to memory. Lewis. Robin. Pierre. Willy. Clint. Emily. They were all different in interests and attitudes, yet they all bore a sameness too. Getting to know them was easy. She listened and she spoke. She learned what people liked. She gave gifts. She smiled, big and wild and unrestrained. She tried to be exactly what they needed.

Talking to her neighbors made the farmer feel like she was running her hand over a well worn banister. Wood lustrous and smooth, beautiful to look at but offering no resistance, no way to find a steadying grip. Interactions felt like taking a huge step up, leaving the plane she usually walked on to join them at a higher point. It was nice up there where they were, sunny and warm and simple. Conversations about the weather, about wood and ore and the sea. There was a settledness about them she envied.

She never felt like she fully connected with that, though Yoba knows she tried. Tried to keep it light and sunny, just like all of them. Tried to be giving. It never felt like it was enough, though, for her to feel like she could stay. Like her roots had sunk deep enough to steady her. Instead, she felt shaky and uncertain, like all it would take was one good push and everything in her new life would fall away.

And that sensation, that moving up to where they were, left an ache in her. A strain in her legs, a stretch in her thigh, a burning under her hips. It was work, to get to know them. It was giving. But it needed to be done. This was their town, and even if it made her feel strange and fuzzy and off-kilter she needed to pay her dues. It was a privilege to start over, she knew, and such privileges needed to be paid for.

—————

The first time the man in the bar made eye contact with her she felt as though she’d miscounted the steps while climbing the stairs. Stepping up, expecting something solid to catch you, but instead stumbling forward with a lurch and a swoop in your stomach.

His eyes were green, bracketed by dark circles and heavy brows. He stared at her directly, like he existed on the same plane that she did. Like she didn’t need to step up to be seen by him. Like she didn’t need to earn her place.

It made her stumble over her conversation with Elliott, but she recovered quickly. Later she asked Emily what the man’s name was, if there was anything he liked. “Peppers” was the answer, though Emily had a strange look on her face when she said it.

Peppers. The farmer could do peppers. Had them planted already. It was easy to pack them in a clear plastic bag and present them to the man the next night. It was freeing, how little strain was involved with the approach. Walking across flat ground instead of climbing a mountain. There was more air in her lungs than usual as she presented her gift.

He rejected it rudely, coarsely, with a level of venom that nearly sent her reeling.

In that one short interaction he’d thrown back the curtains on her life in the valley.

It was a privilege to be here. It was safe to be here. It was warm and it was supportive and the people were nice and would love to get to know her. She could live her life here in quiet contentment, soft and blurry and sheltered from the sharp edges of the world. Sheltered, yes, but always unrooted. Always a breath away from losing it all.

Or, if she wanted, she could feel something that was sharp and true. She could run her hand over raw wood, draw it back to find it filled with cuts and splinters. Feel pain, yes, but also feel real, like she had wandered into a place that was actually her life, not a dream that would someday be taken away.

It was a privilege to choose. And if it was a choice between rough and smooth, reality and illusion, ephemeral or permanent, the farmer wanted something real.

And the man at the bar? He was as real as it got.

————

All that being said, his rejection still galled her. There were rules here, she thought. You gave your attention and your gifts, and you were welcomed into the fold in return.

The man - Shane - broke the rules. 

She wanted to do that too. Wondered if there might be a release in it.

And he kept doing it, kept rebuffing her. 

But here's the thing: Einmal ist keinmal.

Once is never.

If you only approached the person who fascinated you once, how could you say you met him? How could you shake the feeling that you needed to know him? 

She had to keep trying. 

Each time she approached he’d reject her, looking away, jaw twisting, clenching at his drink. 

But each time she approached he’d hold her gaze a little longer.

Each time she approached it all felt real for a little more time.

Until finally she bought him a beer.

She pressed.

What did he need? Nothing from her.

It felt like a weight lifted, and her body responded in relief. Drooping over the bar, mind emptying, relaxing into the understanding that there was nothing to do, nothing to say, nothing to earn. Nothing to give and nothing that could be taken away. Since the first time she moved to the valley that nameless anxiety lifted. She was okay. She was here, and could keep being here. All she needed to do was just be.

It was nice.

It was really, really fucking nice.

The farmer began to realize that she couldn't let this go.

——————

There was a lot to like about Shane, once the farmer got past his jagged exterior.

His voice - rough but warm, a slight slur softening his diction as the nights wore on. 

His humor - so dry it was almost corrosive, dark and biting and unexpected, making her laugh in a way she hadn’t since she’d moved. Longer, probably, and it kept her returning night after night.

His laugh - quiet at first, almost swallowed. The surprised look that accompanied it, almost like he didn’t recognize it as his own.

His outlook - dark and real. Like he saw the world like she did. Like he was responding to life in a reasonable way. Like he didn’t quite fit into the bucolic haze around him, just like her. 

His hands - broad, calloused, thick fingers wrapping around his glass, bringing it up to his mouth. Another thing she liked about him, his mouth, lips fuller than you’d think, expressive beneath his stubble once he got talking.

And fine, yes, she absolutely thought about what it’d be like to be touched by those hands, how they’d feel on her, all strong and rough and demanding, and what his mouth would feel like if they kissed. She doubted there’d be much finesse to it, all tongue and teeth and overwhelming and perfect.

And maybe she thought about what he’d say to her in that rough voice too, his teeth nipping at her ear, one of those broad hands spanning her throat and…

Yeah. She was into it, whatever it was he was giving. That balance of vulnerability and detachment. The way he'd slowly soften over the night. The way he'd look at her out of the corner of his eye, forehead resting on the palm of his hand, all tired and disheveled and broken and raw. 

She thought he was hot. Fucking sue her or whatever.

It wasn’t like he wasn’t into her too. He wasn’t exactly subtle about it, staring at her whenever she thought he wasn't looking. She could feel it, when she was leaning against the bar talking to Emily. Would play into it, even, a part of her enjoying how it felt to have an impact. 

Or when she was talking to someone else. She'd feel it, invisible daggers prickling her neck, though she never caught his stare. 

Emily would roll her eyes about it later. “I swear at one point he had social skills,” she said. 

The farmer had shrugged. “Social skills are overrated.”

“You’re good for him.” Emily had stopped wiping the counter to look the farmer in the eyes. “I haven’t seen his aura so green since we were kids.”

It was the kind of thing Emily said, all auras and crystals and stuff. The farmer usually just rolled with it, nodded along, but for once she wondered if she might know exactly what Emily meant. Because she could see it in herself too. Not green but a rich brown, tendrils reaching out, roots seeking solid ground. A place to latch in, to settle and grow. Something that was real, even if it was only for a day.

———————-

Einmal ist keinmal.

Once is never.

But what if… what if the man you’d been drinking with the last few months, the surly one who’d softened over time, who made you laugh, who made you feel real, who became the person you could trust to check in on your chickens while you were away… if that person pushed you up against your couch, ripped open your tights, and ate you out so thoroughly you were still feeling it days later…

If it was only once, was he still anything more than a drinking buddy?

Shane didn’t seem to think so, shutting down any chance of conversation with such a firm dismissal it was hard for the farmer not to feel it in her gut.

But what else was there to do but keep going? To keep sitting next to him at the saloon night after night? To watch him drink, watch him frown, watch him look at her with bleary eyes? What else was there to do but keep trying to crack him open, like the roots of a tree around a rock? 

Einmal ist keinmal.

But if you keep trying you can get somewhere. Get in deeper, let your roots find something to drink from. And that’s what it felt like when he finally opened up. Like she was being nourished. 

Because he felt the same way she did. He felt the weight of the future. He was tensed against what might be, about what could be taken away. 

But still, he could make her laugh, and she could make his eyes go bright and clear, and it was good, it was more than good, what she felt towards him was so much more than good, and he made it possible to feel like the life she was living was one she would get to keep.

——————

Shane started to laugh less as summer grew close.

The farmer wasn’t sure why.

And she wasn’t sure why she was the one to find him passed out in his bedroom.

And she hated the way it made him avoid her eyes after.

But she could play it cool. They were still buddies, right? She could tease him, tell him about her day.

She could think about him while she picked out a bra, zipped up her dress, did her hair.

She could ask him to dance. Ignore his quick rejection and ask him again.

She could examine the red marks on her chest later that night, scrapes from the rock he’d pushed her up against. 

She could put her own hand over her throat, a laughably inferior substitute for the way it felt to be caught up against his palm. 

She could remember the way he’d called her “baby,” his voice all throaty and shattered, remember the way he’d moved in her, and how badly she wanted it, how good it had felt, how easily he moved her, how thrilling his words were.

More than once.

It wasn’t nothing anymore.

What the fuck was she supposed to do with that?

——————

There was a point where you had to talk it out, right? If it’s not nothing? If it’s real?

And she supposed that point was different for everyone, but for her the line was somewhere between “receiving cunnilingus from a drinking buddy” and “letting said drinking buddy fuck you raw within hollaring distance of that twee little flower festival.”

So yeah. Line crossed. 

They needed to talk. Couldn’t get around it. Had to get a few basics pounded out. 

Yes, I’m into this.

Yes, you’re into this too.

Yes, I have an IUD.

No, you’re not fucking anyone else like that, right?

The basics. That’s it. Not looking for a love confession or anything deep. She knew where he was at. She knew where she was at. She was realistic. She wasn’t looking for forever. Just… just an acknowledgement. Just an assurance of what they were both getting out of this. The rest could come if it was going to.

One day at a time. One step at a time. 

Einmal ist keinmal.

Repetition. Building.

But despite whatever promises she’d wrung from him, Shane was clearly in no shape to pick up a hammer.

She wasn’t surprised when he started avoiding her, but that didn’t mean she was happy about it. She kept up her regular trips to the Saloon, but his stool stood empty. None of the other locals seemed to want to sit there. One time a tourist was in it, and the farmer had to bite down the urge to shove him off.

So yes. Shane seemed aware of what the farmer knew - that they’d passed the point where things could be sidestepped. He was even less capable of dealing with that than she was, which was terrifying. She was already feeling the impact of life without him. Roots searching but nothing to latch onto. Stepping up the stairs with the handrail all slick and smooth. None of the bite that made her life feel permanent. Over a year in the valley, and she was back to feeling like it could all be taken away.

That’s why she showed up where Shane worked.

Was it the best way to go about things? Absolutely not, but they weren’t operating in the best case scenario. She couldn’t even imagine what “best case” would be. Shane taking her out to dinner? Buying her flowers? Complimenting her outfit, asking about her day? 

Fuck that noise. 

She wanted Shane, all bleary eyed and lopsided smile and crude humor and rough words and unpredictable and heavy and real.

For now, the best case scenario would be a conversation, and that’s exactly what she was going to get.

The universe aligned with her, it seemed. She couldn’t find him in the aisles of the Joja Mart, so she went out around the back. There he was, all alone in his jumpsuit, unloading boxes from the back of a truck. She watched him for a moment, before he saw her. Watched his forearms flex beneath his rolled up sleeves. Watched the way his gloved hands gripped each box. Saw the sweat on his neck. Imagined him picking her up and moving her with the same ease he moved those boxes.

The roots in her shivered, started to grow towards him.

She felt grounded again for the first time in weeks.

“Hey,” she said, finally approaching the truck. He was on the ground now, standing next to the handcart he’d just wheeled down. Right at her level.

“Hey,” he said, just as casual at first as if she’d slid onto the stool next to him at the saloon. For a moment she wanted to sink into it, to go along, pretend nothing had happened, nothing had changed, that they could just keep on circling around each other forever, drinking and talking and occasionally fucking and it would all be good, all be fine, all be enough to keep her settled into her life.

But no. Once is never. Twice? 

You can’t ignore twice.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” No sense in beating around the bush.

Something changed in Shane’s eyes, his stance. While he hadn’t been particularly open in his greeting, he’d at least been casual. All it took was the hint of conflict, though, for him to stiffen. Shoulders tight, jaw hard, gaze shifting off of her own.

“I’m at work,” was all he said.

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I’m here, because you’re not anywhere else. We need to talk.”

“I’m at work,” he said again, then braced the handcart with his foot.

“Take a break.” She tried to put a bit of playfulness in the command, but she wasn’t sure it hit.

“Can’t,” Shane said, and the handcart was moving, he was moving, heading into the store and leaving her behind.

Well, fuck that.

Now she was a little pissed.

She caught the door before it closed, followed him into the stock room. Shelves towered around her, and she had to hurry to follow Shane around behind a row of them. It felt like their own little world, back there. 

She continued as though he hadn’t just rejected her attempts to speak. “I’m not looking for anything unreasonable here. We fucked and you promised we’d talk about it, so let’s talk.”

“You can’t be here.” He wasn’t looking at her, focused on the cart in front of him, gripping at the handles a little more tightly than seemed necessary.

“So we better get this conversation over quick. I’m into you and I want to see where this goes. You’re clearly into me too. I need some kind of indication of what’s going on here. Where's your head at? What do you want?”

There. She said it. She stood with her arms crossed. The air conditioner was turned up too high. It made goosebumps rise on her arms, on her legs beneath her shorts. They had nothing to do with how she was feeling, nervous and angry and, fuck, a little turned on, okay? By the way he was looking at her now, stupid little hat shadowing his eyes, mouth pressed tight, hands seeming even bigger in his work gloves.

He took a deep breath. Adjusted his hands on the cart. Then, finally: “whatever you’re looking for here, you’re not going to find it.”

“That’s bullshit.” It was the truth, so it was easy to say. “I’ve already got what I want. I’m not looking for anything other than what we’re already doing. I just need some acknowledgement that we’re both, like, engaged in it.”

And then she said it again: “what do you want?”

Something changed in his eyes, like a light going out. “I don’t want anything,” he said, and started to unload his cart.

He was lying. She knew he was lying. Everybody wanted something. Even if what he wanted wasn’t from her, he still wanted. It made her feel off balance, like her roots were loosening, like a strong wind would knock her right over. “You’re a shitty liar.”

He said nothing.

That was okay. She had all the time in the world. 

Einmal ist keinmal.

She had to keep trying.

He kept moving those boxes. Off the hand cart. Onto the shelves. One after another, his gait slightly uneven, his grip favoring his right shoulder

She leaned against a shelf. Settled in. Watched him. Waited.

And finally…

“I’m going to be in trouble if someone finds you back here.” The handcart was almost empty. Shane was looking at the last unloaded box.

“So tell me the truth and I’ll go.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me you want me, or lie well enough that I can walk away.” The words surprised her, but after she said them she realized it was the truth. It was him or nothing. 

Einmal ist keinmal

Once was one thing. But it’d keep happening. He wasn’t able to stop it, and neither was she. She didn’t want to. She’d keep sinking those roots into him, and he’d let her, and then he’d pull away, and she’d feel them tear, keep cycling between reality and a dream, and there was only so long a person could do that before it all fell apart completely.

Shane took a long breath, kept staring at the box. “What I want is irrelevant,” he finally said. “I don’t have much room for good in my life, so it’s better to be realistic. Go find someone else to want.”

“No. I want you.” It was easy to be emphatic.

“Why?” 

That answer was easy as well: “Because you’re the only person here who feels real.”

He looked at her, for just a moment. Just a glance. Just enough to show he heard her, that he might even know how she felt. That maybe she felt real to him in the same way.

Which made the tearing even more painful when he said “I’m not a shitty liar, you just don’t want to hear what I have to say.”

She didn’t believe him, but that didn’t matter, because he was turning away, unloading the last box, exiting the conversation, dismissing her from his presence, from his life, from this reality, it felt like, consigning her to to scrambling up, to giving, to earning, to touches that felt like nothing, like clouds drifting apart beneath her fingertips and that’s not what she wanted. It’s not what would keep her there.

What she wanted was him, stinging stubble and biting humor and rough voice and clenching fingers and splinters and things left unsaid and truth.

Einmal ist keinmal

You had to keep trying.

So that’s what the farmer did. 

Because even if Shane wouldn’t tell her the truth in words, his body wouldn’t lie.

She approached him as he unloaded the box he was holding. Wrapped her arms around his back. He was warm, his jumpsuit rough against her arms. Her lips hit the nape of his neck, just the right height to rub her nose against, to breathe in, smell the unexpected fruit of his hair, trying and failing to cover the scents of sweat and liquor and him. 

And there it was, the truth. It was in the goosebumps that rose under her nose. It was in the way he shuddered, the way the breath seemed to heave out of him, the way one gloved hand came up to cover hers where they met around his stomach, and her roots were stirring, wrapping, stabilizing her, encasing him. Drinking. Receiving.

For the first time she wondered if she was taking more from him than he could give.

She would weigh this thought later, alone in her bed, the day's events playing through her mind.

But right now she couldn’t think because she was too busy feeling. The way he was moving, turning in her arms to face her, and there was nothing stopping her from pressing her mouth against his. Warm here too, then hot as his lips parted, hot through her stomach as a gentle press turned to something rough and demanding so quickly she could barely process it. 

And yes, yes, fucking yes, it was just like she thought it could be, Shane’s mouth absolutely insistent, tongue forcing, lips bruising, groaning, his body leaning, thigh pushing between her legs, gloved hands anchoring on either side of her jaw. She was pinned between his mouth and the shelves behind her, between heat and cold steel. Grounded. Real. 

For a moment it felt like nothing could be taken away.

“Fuck,” Shane groaned, drawing back. He still had that stupid hat on. The farmer knocked it off, wrapped her arms around the back of his neck. She could see his eyes better now, all green and dark, a mixture of desire and panic that she was starting to associate with his hands and his mouth. With pleasure. With cohesion. With nourishment.

“I want you,” the farmer said.

“Fuck, baby,” Shane groaned again, and then he was biting at the finger of his glove, ripping it off, and it was just his hand, rough in its own way, pushing up under her shirt, just for a second, palm spread wide. Traveling up, gripping at her breast, squeezing, shuddering, then down, undoing the button on her shorts, fingers racing lower, and she couldn’t help but dig her nails into the back of his neck. Those fingers, hard and perfect, rubbing back and forth against her, a little too fast, a little too rough, uncontrolled, and she couldn’t help but cry out as her body tightened.

“You gotta… shit, you gotta be quiet, baby.” And then his other hand, gloved, all coarse and heavy, smelling of work, of effort, of Shane was covering her mouth. Pressing, thumb down and curling around her chin, palm broad. She groaned into it, felt the rough fabric rasp against her bruised lips, felt his fingers sliding a little more fluidly, and that made him groan too. “Yoba, how do you… you want it so bad, don’t you? Want it as bad as I do. How do you keep wanting this? I can’t… I’m not… you’re so fucking perfect, how do we keep…”

He trailed off on a groan, fingers still working, gliding in quick circles around her clit. She didn’t know what was guiding her up more effectively - his hands or his words. She wanted to talk back to him, but all she could do was gasp and whimper against his glove and pull him in closer by the back of the neck. His forehead was almost touching hers now, and she could feel the soft brush of his hair. She locked her gaze on his, tried to pin him to her with it in the same way he kept her pinned beneath him.

She wanted him to stay right there.

Because he kept talking.

“Fuck, I can’t… I fucking taste you all the time. How do you do it, huh?” His fingers were flickering even faster now, their friction dulled by how wet she'd become. Her hips were starting to hitch, matching the rhythm of his strokes. “How do you make it so I can’t stop thinking about you? It doesn’t matter if you’re there or not, I swear I see you everywhere. I can’t… fuck, I miss you so fucking much when you're not there. I can't even… I just… I don't want to be away from you.”

So don’t, she would have said if his glove hadn’t been covering her mouth. I see you all the time too. I want you all the time. How do you do it? How do I keep you with me?

“Need you to come for me, baby. Fuck, please, I need… I want to. Wanna see you come. Do it for me baby.” He looked fully desperate now, staring into her eyes. She did her best to nod under his glove, to keep her eyes open as her hips tensed, as her thighs began to shake, as heat climbed up her spine, coiling, a vine wrapping around her ribs and her arms and her throat, making her whimper and her eyes lose focus. “Fuck,” Shane breathed, his fingers keeping that perfect rhythm. “Look at that face. Yoba’s fucking Light, you’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen.  You coming for me?”

The farmer did her best to make an affirming noise, because yes, she was coming, coming hard, all tense and coiled and connected, all liquid rush and Shane’s rough voice, spilling more words than he’d ever had before (“yes, baby, yes, fuck, there you go, so fucking good, don’t you stop, keep coming for me, that’s right, that’s my girl, don’t you fucking stop”). 

It was endless.

It was real.

Einmal ist keinmal

But that moment felt like it stretched on forever.

——————

The farmer didn’t know if their talk was a success or a failure.

Maybe it was neither.

Maybe it was both.

She laid on her bed and stared at her ceiling. 

The feeling was back. Like none of it was real. Like it was all about to slip away.

She pressed her hand over her mouth. Thumb down. Palm broad. Tried to imagine it was a glove.

It felt a little better.

Einmal ist keinmal.

She had to keep trying.

She couldn't stop trying.

She couldn't help but keep trying.

Whatever this was, whatever was happening between the two of them, it wasn't a never. It didn't have to be always for it to be something. 

The something it was was the something she wanted. 

Rough and sharp and real, like calloused hands and stubbled skin and tired eyes.

The farmer sighed, pressed her hand down a little harder. It braced her, kept her from feeling like she was going to float away.

Einmal ist keinmal.

Once is never.

You had to keep trying.

And so that’s what she was going to do.

Want a part five? You got a part five. Here it is. Enjoy.

Masterlist

[mono-blogs-art]

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko - The Lesbian Office RomCom You Needed

Blatant flirting, hilarious misunderstandings, and lesbian shenanigans aplenty - this show is funny, over-dramatic, and most of all gay as hell. Here's my review! Spoiler-free version first, and a more detailed spoiler-y version under the cut. I hope you enjoy!

A quick summary: Overall: 9/10, you should absolutely watch this! Genre: RomCom, with some serious elements and a heartfelt exploration of sexuality Watch if you are looking for... : A silly and fun time, a happy ending, misunderstandings, and character development. Highly recommended to watch this with your partner(s) or your sapphic friends! Watch out for... : Although the tone of the show is mostly comedic, it contains discussion & depiction of homophobia at the workplace and past trauma relating to that Where to watch: Official TL on GagaOOLala, or Fansubs by @furritsubs (highly recommended!)

"Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko" (Ayaka-chan wa Hiroko-senpai ni Koishiteru) is a Jdrama adaption of a manga by the same title. The series premiered this year July 2024 and has wrapped up a short while ago, with a total runtime of 8 episodes of 24 minutes each.

The title of the show already says all; the plot is simple: Junior staff member Ayaka is head-over-heels for Hiroko, her senior at the company she works at. And she has decided to go on the offensive.

There are many obstacles in Ayaka's way: first of all, Hiroko is 13 years older than her (they are 23 and 36), and her superior at the workplace. Hiroko is beloved by both her superiors as well as her staff, so Ayaka's love for her is just one of many. And no matter how blatantly she ups her advances (and girl, she is BOLD), Hiroko is 100% convinced that all the flirting is just misplaced, straight-woman obliviousness.

The irony of it all is that Ayaka is absolutely barking up the right tree, because Hiroko is a lesbian, but has been firmly in the closet at work - something that she has no plans on changing. Her professional life and her personal must stay completely separate, at all cost. The only place she can truly be herself is the lesbian bar she's been a regular at for years.

^ Me when I'm a lesbian disaster doing insane mental gymnastics

However, "giving up" is not in Ayaka's vocabulary. As her seduction attempts keep escalating and being misunderstood, Hiroko's hard exterior begins to crumble bit by bit. Can Hiroko finally overcome her rigid ways, and let herself fall for someone?

Although the show is first and foremost a comedy, both Ayaka and Hiroko as characters are handled really well. They have their own problems, insecurities, reservations about the other, and both have a simple but great arc over the course of the series. Ayaka is discovering her sexuality, something she had never even considered before falling for Hiroko. What does being in love with a woman mean for her future? And Hiroko, who is already very confident in her sexuality, is confronted by her past trauma, and the fact that she's still not ready to come out despite the changing times. And while being undercover has saved her career in the past, it has also made her feel alone and isolated. She likes Ayaka back, but can't allow her true colors to show.

Something that I find very hard to achieve with comedy shows is the switch between funny and serious, and I think that Ayahiro manages this very well. Both of our main characters feel grounded enough in reality that when they get emotional, it feels relatable and sincere. For a silly show like this, striking a balance like that is crucial, and save for a few pacing issues in the later half of the show (that I honestly didn't mind at all), I think the show totally nails it. Ayahiro is not a realistic show, but it contains elements of reality that made me connect to it, despite all the insane shenanigans that go on. And because of that the show made me laugh and cry as much as it did, often in the same episode. It works, and Kudos to the writers (and actors!) for that.

Speaking of actors, one thing I must mention is that the show is very well made. The actors (especially Mori Kanna as Hiroko is the standout for me, she has a natural charisma and gay swagger) do a fantastic job, the leads' chemistry is great. The production overall has some real money behind it, with lots of changing sets that all look great and have been crafted with care. Ayaka's outfits are absolute KILLER, she is giving insane femme energy. The show also looks very pretty, the color graders turn that saturation up to 100 and it fits Ayaka's rose-tinted world well.

That's it for the spoiler-less part, I'll now get into specific characters and plot points with full spoilers up to the end of the series under the cut. If you don't want to get spoiled, I hope the review until now made you want to watch the show for yourself! I hope you enjoy!

First of all I need to disclaim that I have not read the original manga that she show is based on, so I can't compare the series to its original and how the plot is written there. I do intend to read it (I hope it gets localized to German so I can support the official release, but I might check out the English Official TL anyway before that) but for now, I will only judge the series as is.

Ayaka: Our protagonist is a femme fatale, in... another meaning of the word, I guess. She is a disaster, bad at pretty much everything she does except not giving up. Once she has set her mind to something, she will get it done. That leads her to often be inconsiderate and unable to see what others around her are feeling, which goes mostly for her best friend Risa, but also for Hiroko, whose feelings she also fails to consider even when pursuing her. Ayaka has to learn the hard way that her naivete is hurting others, and herself. She hasn't really thought her advances through, simply acting on instinct. But as the series goes on, she takes her feelings and her newly discovered sexuality seriously, and grows comfortable with calling herself a lesbian. She is also unashamedly horny, like, Oh My God, this girl is trying to get laid so bad. This is hilarious and refreshing to see, and although her seduction attempts are often played as comedic, it doesn't feel like she is being ridiculed for her sexuality by the show. Ayaka often crosses boundaries (physical and emotional) with Hiroko, both out of naivite and in deliberate attempts to seduce her. To me this was never truly infuriating, even though sometimes she really did go too far, but for me it always kept in tone with the comedy of the show. Even when Ayaka finally comes out in front of the entire office, she makes it clear that she doesn't want Hiroko to do the same if she's not ready.

Hiroko: Our deuteragonist is probably my favourite character in the show, and I think she's very relatable and well done. As an older lesbian, she's got plenty of experience, having even earned the title of "The Ace" in her lesbian friend circle for being a talented womanizer. But a traumatic experience of losing her last partner due to being found out at the workplace has changed her. She's afraid to get attached, she's unable to let people get close to her true self. So when Ayaka is fighting tooth and nail to get to her, Hiroko is caught in conflict between her feelings of attraction and her past trauma. She does everything in her power to dismiss Ayaka's advances to protect herself, and later when she learns that Ayaka is in fact not straight (duh), she still turns her down to protect Ayaka's (and her own) career. Hiroko is a bit of a conservative - something she's also called out for in her lesbian friend circle - she believes that coming out at work is impossible and irresponsible. And you know, I get it. Not only does she have personal bad experiences with exactly that, it's also not unreasonable to think it would be a bad idea to hook up with your junior of 13 years. Like, I get it girl. Hiroko is clearly attracted to Ayaka, not just physically but also emotionally, because Ayaka is everything Hiroko wants to be but can't. And that leads to Hiroko constantly underestimating Ayaka, even treating her like a child. She thinks Ayaka is not really thinking the gravity of her actions through, and she gets called out for that and has to overcome it. In the end, Hiroko ends up being a character that needs time, and needs to unlearn a whole bunch of shitty behaviour, something the show clearly also shows is being worked on and that Ayaka also respects (more on that later).

Risa: Easily the character I struggled with the most, Ayaka's best friend Risa is complicated. She's very observant but also shy, and secretly harbors a crush on Ayaka. Quietly struggling with her sexuality, she only decides to come out when she realises that Ayaka's feelings for Hiroko are serious. Oh, it's messy! She confesses to Ayaka, who in turn has to struggle with her feelings for someone else, but also not wanting to lose her closest confidant. And to her credit, Risa takes the rejection quite gracefully and continues to support Ayaka in her pursuit of Hiroko. However, Risa also outs Hiroko against her will to Ayaka, which... is just a shitty thing to do, even though she just wanted to help her friend. Good motive, still murder. After the conflict between Ayaka and Risa is resolved, Risa just kind of... is around, quietly worrying in her corner and kind of (in my opinion) overstepping her boundaries with Hiroko. I don't dislike Risa, but I thought her character was not done super well in parts, and although I understand the complicated situation she herself is in, the show doesn't really let her grow as much as the other characters. Anyway, good for her for bagging the hottest chick at the lesbian bar, though. Good for her!

The "break-up": The story's conflict comes to a peak when Hiroko finally realises there is only one way to shut this all down. She needs to fulfill Ayaka's desire, and then turn her down, once and for all. But Hiroko at this point still thinks Ayaka is immature and hasn't really thought her actions through. Ayaka sheepishly asks for a kiss, so Hiroko kisses her. "Now you've achieved everything you wanted." We're done, you can give up on me and this childish crush you have on me. And most importantly, I can let you go, too. Not realising that Ayaka wants much more. She wants a real relationship, she wants the kiss, sex, real emotions, she wants to see Hiroko's true self too. She wants a partnership.

The Finale: With the encouragement of her peers, Ayaka finds the courage to express her feelings to Hiroko one last time. And she finds just the right words to finally get through to her. Hiroko realises how much of an ass she's been all this time, how she ended up hurting the girl she loves and herself by denying herself happiness. This whole scene was so well done (Kudos to Kato Shiho as Ayaka, this is probably her best scene in the entire show), brother I cried so hard. And finally Hiroko can say what she should have a long time ago: "I'm sorry."

One year later: In the show's worst case of bad pacing, we immediately cut from their tearful reunion to "one year later", lol. I don't mind the sudden jump too much, but maybe a bit of a slower fade-out would have softened the blow, because I think a few people probably found this very jarring xD not too bad for me. I was actually positively surprised that we actually get to see the aftermath, see how their relationship has developed a year into it.

I've seen a few people complain about this "no-sex scene" (lol) and I just want to add my two cents. I actually really like how this scene played out, for two reasons. Reason 1 is that it's just very much in-character for Hiroko. We've seen her struggle back-and-forth with the intimacy Ayaka wanted from her for the past 7.5 episodes, and her own internalised homophobia and constant fear of "crossing the line". She's a traumatized person, and it makes total sense to me that even one year into the relationship, she's still struggling with sexual intimacy. Sure, a whole year is a long time not having sex with your partner (even though you both clearly wanted to from day 1) but like... it makes sense for Hiroko. She's still working through the past 10+ years of repression. I do understand how this scene can be interpreted as "the show is afraid to show them being horny and sexy together, they're cowards for making Hiroko so obsessed with Ayaka's "purity" etc" and like, yes, that is a totally valid interpretation, but IMO also a quite bad faith one.

"I'm happy to know you feel that way. Which is why, could you please wait a little more, just until I sort my feelings out?" "What?" "I want to cherish you, Ayaka." "Right." "I'm sorry for everything, Ayaka." "For everything?" "In the end, it seems like I still haven't came out yet. I understand that I'm making you endure something when you don't have to. But… I do want to be with you, and I want to keep my job. I'm really sorry for making you put up with my selfishness."

^ Like, that is the conversation that follows. It's not just about sex for Hiroko, that kind of intimacy holds a deeper meaning to her and she's just not ready for it yet, and trying to sincerely tell her partner that. And when Ayaka reaffirms her willingness to be patient in this scene and is respectful of Hiroko's choice, Hiroko realizes that she's being a stupid coward, and finally makes a decision...

... to come out in front of the whole office, who's been gossiping about their relationship the whole year anyway.

And that is the end of the show!

So really, Hiroko did manage to overcome her fears in the end, and it took her a whole year into a healthy relationship to do so. And I think that is honestly much more realistic than some people would like to believe. Is the smooch in front of the whole office silly and cheesy and over-dramatic? Of course, but that's the entire show so far. And if you think that kiss-and-dip is dumb then I can't help you, I think you just don't like fun.

Oh yeah, and my reason 2 why I thought that no-sex scene was done well is because it's just funny. Ayaka has been DTF since minute 1 of the show, and her still being unable to get it this far into it is just funny. I would have loved a little nod to them finally getting down at the very, very end, but eh, I can live with it like this. They've conquered the emotional hurdles, I'm certain they will cross that other bridge when they get there on their own time.

Conclusion: "Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko" is a great and incredibly funny lesbian show that touched me emotionally much more than I thought it would. It made me cry several times, the production and acting quality positively surprised me, and honestly deserves my Nr 2 spot of favourite Lesbian JDrama after Tsukutabe (which is a 10/10 show) for now. I really hope this type of show gets imitators, adapting relatively short stories into mini-series with great quality. I appreciate the more adult tone of this series, its shameless comedy while still being able to hit serious beats with real emotion. From what I've seen of the BTS, the actors and staff also handled the subject matter with respect and care and had a lot of fun making the show. I don't think a season 2 is needed, but I do hope that the series can inspire more similar works. I love Ayaka and Hiroko, and I'm so happy they got their happy ending, and by God, I hope they have the best sex ever in their beautiful lesbian future. God bless.

That's it from me, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this show as much as I did! Hopefully see you soon!

[astra-ravana]

Dealing With Hostile Christians

Walking an alternative spiritual path—whether as a Satanist, pagan, witch, or something in between—can sometimes lead to uncomfortable encounters with aggressive or judgmental Christians. While some Christians are kind and respectful, some others may feel entitled to challenge or even attack your beliefs. So, here's some advice on handling these situations with confidence, humor, and self-respect.

Know Your Rights

First and foremost, you have the legal right to practice your beliefs. In most countries, including the U.S., freedom of religion is protected. That means:

• You don’t have to engage in religious discussions if you don’t want to.

• You don’t have to justify or defend your spiritual path.

• You do have the right to privacy, including not disclosing your beliefs in workplaces, schools, or public spaces.

If someone is harassing you at work or in a public setting, calmly remind them, “I respect your beliefs, and I expect the same in return.” If necessary, escalate to HR or local authorities.

The Art of Non-Engagement

Sometimes, the best response is no response at all. If someone is pushing their religious views aggressively, consider:

• The Blank Stare: Look at them silently until they become uncomfortable.

• The Polite Walk-Away: Say, “I’m not interested in this conversation,” and leave.

• The ‘Bless Your Heart’ Method: A classic Southern deflection. When they say, “You’re going to hell,” just smile and say, “Bless your heart.”

You don’t owe anyone your energy. Preserve it for more meaningful interactions.

Humor as a Shield

Humor can defuse tension and keep you from getting emotionally drained. Some examples:

• Christian: “I’ll pray for you.”

You: “Thanks! I’ll light a black candle for you!”

• Christian: “You worship the devil!”

You: “I can barely keep up with my video-game addiction. Worshipping a deity full-time? Too much work.”

A lighthearted response can keep the situation from escalating while making it clear that you’re unbothered.

Setting Boundaries Like a Pro

Not everyone deserves access to your personal beliefs. If someone is intrusive, you can:

• Use the Broken Record Technique: “I’m not discussing my religion/beliefs.” (Repeat as needed.)

• Redirect: “Let’s talk about something we both enjoy—seen any good memes lately?”

• Be Firm: “I respect your beliefs. Please respect mine.”

If they persist, cut the conversation short and disengage.

Dealing with Family Pressure

Family gatherings can be tricky when you’re the token “black sheep.” To manage the drama:

• Set expectations beforehand. “I’d love to visit, but I won’t be discussing religion.”

• Use humor to deflect. “Grandma, if I summon demons at the dinner table, I promise they’ll be well-mannered.”

• Keep it simple. If asked about your beliefs, say, “I follow my own spiritual path.” If they push, change the subject.

Your family’s love shouldn’t be conditional on their approval of your beliefs. If they become toxic, setting stronger boundaries (or limiting contact) may be necessary.

Handling Public Confrontations

If a stranger starts preaching at you:

• Stay calm. They want a reaction—don’t give them one.

• Give a neutral response. “I respect your beliefs, but I’m not interested.”

• Walk away. You don’t have to engage just because someone demands your attention.

If the situation escalates into harassment, remove yourself and seek help if needed.

Finding Your Support System

Being surrounded by like-minded people can make all the difference. Look for:

• Local pagan, Satanist, or witchcraft groups.

• Online communities where you can vent and get advice.

• Friends and family (even non-magickal ones) who respect your beliefs.

Having a support system reminds you that you’re not alone—and that there’s nothing wrong with being different.

Remember: Their Fear Is Not Your Problem

Many people react with hostility because they don’t understand what you believe. Some are genuinely afraid due to misinformation. That’s their issue, not yours.

You don’t need to educate or debate unless you want to. You are not a walking religious FAQ. Live your truth unapologetically.

Being a Satanist, pagan, witch, or any other alternative spiritual practitioner in a predominantly Christian society comes with its  challenges, but you are not obligated to shrink yourself to make others comfortable. Use humor, set firm boundaries, find your community, and remember: your spiritual path is yours alone.

And if all else fails—light a candle, take a deep breath, and let their judgment roll off like water on a well-worn stone.

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

Requesting something where reader works as a barista and her boss/co-worker is flirting with her like non-stop. She finally reveals to her BF Ethan about it and of course he’s livid. Ethan/GF makes a visit to the cafe to show boss/co-worker to leave y/n alone for good. Later that night Ethan reminds y/n that she is ONLY his. Please include as much smut as you deem necessary. Btw absolutely adore your writing. 💕

Hiiii! I hope you like it💕

I Mean It - Ghostface!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: Your creepy supervisor threatens to get you fired after you reject his advances, so Ethan takes care of the problem.

Contains: Suggestions to murder, workplace harassment(Nothing graphic), oral - f recieving, p in v, rough-ish sex

A/N: I was going to post this earlier today but life happened haha

Ethan was the sweetest boyfriend to you. He loved to randomly buy you flowers just to see you smile, plan date days for the two of you, and he was always doing something to make you laugh, especially if you were having a bad day. He was also very protective. Whenever he’d be out with you somewhere, if he noticed that another guy was staring at you, he made eye contact until the person took the hint. God forbid anyone said anything or catcalled you because Ethan didn’t mind confronting someone. He didn’t want anyone else to think they could have you, but he also thought it was disrespectful to you.

You knew how Ethan could be, so when your new supervisor at work, Logan, started to flirt with you, you didn’t want to tell him. The last thing you wanted was for Ethan to pop in one day and say something, and with his occasional hotheaded tendencies, you were sure you’d get fired. You needed your job, especially with Ethan talking about how he wanted you to move in with him.

“Hey cutie,” Logan said, as you’d just put your apron on. “What are you doing after work today?”

“You know I have a boyfriend,” you said, brushing him off as you checked to make sure the coffee that was already brewed was still fresh. “Plus, you’re my supervisor. Don’t you think it’s a little unprofessional for you to keep hitting on me?”

“No,” he said, leaning on the counter beside you. “I can’t believe you’re with that loser.”

“Don’t talk about him like that,” you warned, as you once again, walked away from him. You peaked in the fridge to see what milk you needed to grab from the back, but he stayed right beside you.

“He’s not going to do anything,” he said, as you sighed in frustration.

“Seriously, Logan. Let it go. It’s never going to happen,” you said, making a mental note of what you needed before going to grab the extra milk.

He was still behind you, and you were starting to get a little uncomfortable. He was always flirting, but him following you into the walk-in cooler where no one else could see the two of you was making you nervous. You tried to push any anxiety you had to the side so you could get what you needed and get out, but once you had two gallons of milk in your hands and he stood in front of the door so you couldn’t move past him, you were starting to get mad. You huffed as you sat the milk down on one of the shelves.

“What the fuck is your problem?” you asked, staring him down as he smiled.

“I could write you up for talking to me like that…but I won’t if you let me take you out. Just once,” he said, trying to manipulate you into giving him a chance.

“Yeah, I can only imagine how that night would end,” you scoffed, as he started to smirk.

“Hopefully with you naked in my bed.”

You didn’t have time to process what you were doing before your hand connected with his cheek, the sharp sound muffled by the hum of the cooler. Your hand was stinging as you pulled it away, a red mark appearing on the side of his face as he stared at you in disbelief.

“I’m getting you fired for that,” he said, stepping away from the door as he ran his hand over his cheek. “I’ll tell the manager about this in the morning.”

“I’ll tell him about you sexually harassing me,” you snapped, grabbing the milk off the shelf and walking out of the cooler.

Your other coworkers looked at you as you walked out, noticing that you were trying to hold your tears in. You put the milk in the fridge before Logan walked out, an angry look on his face as he made his way towards you.

“I think you should go home for the rest of the day,” he said, as you took your apron off.

“Fine. I didn’t want to be here with your creepy ass anyway.”

“Expect the manager to call you in the morning,” he said, as you made your way out of the coffee shop.

On your walk back home, you knew you needed to tell Ethan. If Logan was going to get you fired anyway, you knew you’d be happier with the situation if Ethan confronted him. You dried the stray tears on your cheeks before you pulled out your phone to text him.

You: Can you come over before your late class?

Ethan: Yeah

Ethan: Wait, why aren’t you at work?

You: I’ll tell you about it when you come over.

When you made it to your dorm, you noticed Ethan standing outside of the door, waiting for you.

“That was fast,” you said, as he took in your sad appearance.

“You know I live in the next building over,” he said, as you walked up to him and rested your head against his chest. His arms wrapped around you, his hand soothingly rubbing across your back. “What happened, baby?”

“Let’s go inside and I’ll tell you,” you said, pulling away to unlock your door.

As you explained the interaction with Logan, Ethan was starting to get angry. His leg was bouncing as he tried to keep calm in front of you, but he knew that Logan needed to pay for the way he’d treated you. Ethan wouldn’t tolerate him flirting with you in the first place, but the idea of anyone thinking they’d even have a chance with you had him fuming, because you were his.

“I don’t know if I can stop by the coffee shop tonight, but I’ll take care of it tomorrow,” he lied, already having a sinister plan floating around in his head. “Maybe if you tell your manager what happened, he’ll be the one that gets fired.”

“All that man does is kiss the higher-ups’ asses, and he cornered me where he knew there weren’t any cameras,” you sighed, as he took a deep breath.

“I promise you, you won’t have to deal with him anymore,” Ethan said, as he stood up. “I’ll take care of it. But I have to run right now or I’m going to be late for class.”

“Okay,” you said, as he grabbed your hands and pulled you close. He placed a sweet kiss on your lips before he pulled away. “Wait, my roommate had to go home for a family emergency. If you think you could sneak back in here tonight, I’d love to spend some alone time with you.”

“Hmm, I like the sound of that,” he said, smirking at you. “Leave your door unlocked. I might not get here until late, but I don’t want to get caught in the hallway.”

“I will. I hope your class isn’t too boring,” you said, as he mumbled “I know it won’t be.”

It wasn’t going to be because he wasn’t going. After seeing how upset you were, and the possibility of Logan getting you fired after he harassed you, he knew what needed to happen to him. He’d go to the ends of the earth to protect you, and he’d do anything to make sure you didn’t have to see Logan’s pathetic self again.

Ethan always paid close attention to his surroundings, even when he was visiting you at work for your breaks. He’d met you at the back entrance a couple of times when you had to close…the back entrance that was never locked until the supervisor left. He knew that was his way to get in, he just needed to plan it out perfectly.

He ran to his dorm to get the things he needed, hoping Chad wouldn’t come back as he put the robe, mask, and knife in his backpack. His roommate walked in just as he’d finished zipping his bag back up.

“Hey, wanna play Mortal Kombat when you get home later?” Chad asked, as he held up the game he’d just picked up.

“No, I won’t be coming home after class. I just stopped by to grab some extra clothes,” Ethan said, as Chad shook his head.

“Don’t get caught in her dorm again,” he said, as Ethan rolled his eyes and walked out.

Ethan found a little hiding spot outside of the view of the exterior cameras of the coffee shop as he waited for his opportunity to go in. His head snapped up from his phone once he heard your coworkers talking amongst themselves as they walked out the back door. He locked his phone and slid it in his pocket before unzipping his backpack and grabbing what he needed to not get caught.

He held the knife tightly in his hand as he walked up to the back entrance and opened the door, peaking around the hallway. He noticed that the coffee shop was dark, aside from the glow of the fluorescent lighting in the manager’s office. He quietly stepped towards it, and once he made it to the doorway, he tapped the blade of his knife against the metal door frame to get Logan’s attention.

As soon as Ethan finished what he went there to do, he wiped the blood off his knife before heading towards the back exit. He slowly opened the door to make sure no one was outside before he bolted to where he was hidden before. He took off the robe and the mask and shoved it, along with the knife, into his backpack.

You kept checking the time on your phone, wondering what was taking Ethan so long. You almost thought he got caught by your RA, but you knew he would’ve messaged you to tell you that. You jumped when your door quickly opened as Ethan ran inside.

“You scared the shit out of me,” you sighed, as he turned to smile at you.

“Sorry. I almost got caught,” he said, his breathing heavy from all the running he’d just done.

His adrenaline was still pumping through his veins as he took in your appearance. You had the cutest little pajama set on, and he was dying to get you out of it.

“You know you’re only mine, right?” he asked, as he stepped closer to you. You noticed the dark look in his eyes as you curiously looked at him.

“Are you okay?” you questioned, as he let out a light chuckle.

“You didn’t answer my question. Maybe I need to show you who you belong to,” he said, as your core started to throb at his words.

“Are you still mad about the Logan stuff? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you he was flirting with me until it got bad,” you said, as he shook his head.

“You do need to tell me when stuff like that happens, but…” he trailed off, once he noticed you laying there, clenching your thighs together. Your eyes were so needy, and you were struggling to sit still. “I think you want me to show you that your mine.”

“Mhm,” you said, as he sat his stuff down and pulled his shirt over his head.

He got on your bed and hovered over you before he leaned down to place his lips against yours. Your mouths were hungrily moving together, like you couldn’t get enough of each other. You felt Ethan start to tug at your pajama shorts as he pushed his tongue past your slightly parted lips. You lifted your hips so Ethan could slide the shorts down over the curve of your ass. As soon as he got you out of them, his fingertips gently moved up your thigh.

You whimpered into his mouth as he started to rub you over your panties. He slid them to the side to rub painfully slow circles against your needy bundle of nerves. He knew what he was doing, but he couldn’t help it. He loved teasing you until you were begging him to fuck you.

“Ethannn,” you whined once he pulled away to catch his breath. “Move your fingers faster.”

He smirked at the pouty look playing on your lips as he barely changed up his pace. It was almost unnoticeable, as you gave him a ‘Really?’ look.

“Oh, you want more?” he asked, his fingers quickly rubbing against your clit. “Is this what you need?”

“Yes,” you moaned, as he started to laugh and slow his fingers. You whined in protest as he almost came to a stop. You were starting to get a little frustrated, especially after you’d thought about Ethan taking care of you in the way you needed him to the entire evening. “I thought you were going to show me who I belong to?”

His smirk dropped and his eyes got so dark at your question. You weren’t trying to piss him off, but you felt like you did as he stared at you.

“Don’t be a brat,” he warned, “I do so much for you.”

“I’m sorry, babe. I know you do,” as he scooted down the bed and looked at you from in between your thighs.

“You don’t know the half of it,” he said, before he leaned forward, his tongue licking stripes up your clit.

Your hands went to his hair as his tongue skillfully moved against you, but you still needed more. He already knew that, but he wanted you to ask him for it. You stayed quiet, not wanting to make him mad like you did before. Your bottom lip was in between your teeth as you tried to hold your sounds in, because you didn’t want anyone to hear you. Ethan loved it when you were loud, but you didn’t want him to get caught in your dorm again.

He wasn’t satisfied with your silence, a low moan slipping past your lips once he sucked your clit into his mouth and started to move his head from side to side.

“Unf, fuck,” you whimpered, your hips lifting off the bed as he fought to hold them down. “Please use your fingers.”

He slid his middle and ring finger into your dripping pussy with ease as he kept sucking on your clit. He curved his fingers just right, your legs involuntarily twitching at the feeling. Once he sucked even harder, you felt your orgasm building.

“I’m close,” you whined, as his fingers pressed harder against that spongy spot inside of you.

His eyes connected with yours as your moans kept getting louder, the feeling in the pit of your stomach getting stronger and stronger as he brought you closer to the edge. Your hands were tugging on his hair as you started to move your hips with his fingers until your entire body started to shake. He watched you fall apart as that feeling finally washed over you, your breathing shaky as you whimpered his name.

He slowed his fingers as you started to come down from your high and switched from sucking your clit to gentle licks. Once you started to pull your hips away from the slight overstimulation, he removed his fingers and sat up to look at you.

“You’re mine, right?” he joked, as you stared at him through your post-orgasm haze.

“I think so…I need you to fuck me so I can be sure,” you said, teasing him as he glared at you.

“Be careful what you ask for,” he said, sliding off the side of your bed to take his jeans and boxers off. He walked over to your bedside table and grabbed a condom before he crawled back on the bed with you.

He grabbed one of the extra pillows from beside your head and placed it under you as you lifted your hips for him. Once he slid inside of you, he gave you time to adjust to his size as he leaned down to kiss you. His tongue glided across your bottom lip as you let him deepen the kiss, but you were starting to squirm underneath him.

He started off with slow, deep thrusts. The tip of his cock was brushing against your g-spot as he caught all your moans with his mouth. Your nails ran over his back as he fucked you at a slow pace, but you were craving more. Your legs wrapped around him so he could go even deeper, but he knew what you really needed.

He pulled away to look at you as he rested on his knees, still thrusting into your soaked core.

“Are you mine?” he growled, as you nodded. “You better fucking say it.”

“Mmm, shit. I’m all yours,” you said, as he quickly sped up. His cock was slamming into you so hard that the sounds of his skin slapping against yours, along with the loud moans flooding out of your mouth, were bouncing off the walls.

His brows were furrowed as he concentrated on keeping his pace, his cheeks a rosy pink as he tried to keep his breathing as steady as he could.

You snaked your hand down to your clit, before he swatted it away and replaced it with his thumb. He was rolling circles over it, the pressure making you whimper.

Grunts were slipping past his lips as he started to drill into your g-spot even harder, your shaky hands gripping the comforter to brace yourself for your orgasm.

He knew that if the sounds already coming from your room weren’t loud enough for anyone else to hear, the sounds you were about to make definitely would be. He placed his hand over your mouth, your eyes wide as your eyebrows knitted together.

Your pussy started to flutter as you let out a loud cry against the palm of his hand, your entire body bucking as he tried to fuck you through it.

Your chest was heaving as your body started to relax, but he still kept his hand in place just in case you couldn’t be quiet as he chased his own orgasm. It didn’t take long for his hips to stutter.

“Aahh fuck,” he moaned out as he pulled his hand away from your mouth, his head falling forward as he gave a few more week thrusts, his cum filling the tip of the condom. He slid out of you and flopped on his back as he tried to catch his breath.

“Holy shit,” you mumbled, as he turned his head to look at you. You looked like you could fall asleep in that moment, so he got up to take the condom off, and grabbed your panties and his boxers off the floor.

“Let me help you, baby,” he said, as he slid your panties back up your legs and over your hips. He slid his boxers back on before crawling in bed beside you and pulling you closer.

You moved your head to his chest, and he heard your breathing slow as he drew patterns on your back with his fingertips.

“I love you, babe,” he said, placing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Love you, too,” you said softly, as you started to drift off.

The next morning, you woke up to the sound of your phone vibrating against the nightstand. You lifted your head off Ethan’s chest as he started to wake up, a sweet smile on his lips as his eyes stayed closed.

“Oh shit,” you said, grabbing your phone. Ethan’s eyes opened as you glanced over to him, your phone still vibrating in your hands. “It’s work.”

You hesitantly answered it, a nervous “Hello?” slipping past your lips. Your eyes went wide as you listened to your manager speak, your hand covering your mouth as you tried to process everything you were being told. Ethan was trying so hard to hold in his smile over the horrible crime he committed, but he’d do anything for you. He had no shame in that.

Once you hung up with your manager, you turned to Ethan, your eyes still wide as you tried to put into words what you were told.

“So uh, the coffee shop is a crime scene right now,” you said, as Ethan looked at you, fake confusion painted on his face.

“What do you mean?” he questioned, as your words got stuck in your throat. “Talk to me, baby.”

“Logan was murdered last night after everyone left,” you said, the shock fully hitting you once the words left your mouth. “Oh my god. That’s fucking crazy.”

“Yeah…I’m just happy you weren’t there,” Ethan said, as you nodded.

“Me too…I wonder what happened,” you said, as he shrugged.

“We’ll probably know something soon,” he said, as he started to laugh a little. You didn’t think it was very funny, your questioning look letting him know he needed to explain himself. “It’s not funny, but I guess you aren’t getting fired, after all. He was a scummy person…now he can’t treat anyone else the way he treated you.”

“That’s true,” you sighed as you laid your head back on Ethan’s chest.

[chalkrevelations]

So, if you characterize Langdon as ridiculous in The Pitt's Ep 15 confrontation with Robby by framing his response as, "Sure, I repeatedly stole drugs from the hospital and from patients, but you had a panic attack, so we are equally bad, so there!" - is it not clear how this trivializes what's going on with Robby?

Minimizing what happened to Robby as a silly little panic attack, tra-la, in an attempt to weaponize that scene against Langdon misses the point of a show focused on the PTSD, the ongoing trauma, and the continual demand to perform miracles in untenable conditions that healthcare workers face in the U.S. healthcare system. Robby is a hot fucking mess, and we watch the cracks get wider and wider through the course of a shift that starts with him going to get a co-worker off the roof while they crack jokes about suicidal ideation and ends with a co-worker coming to get him off the roof, coaxing him back from the literal and figurative edge. Everything he busts Langdon's ass for re: the way Langdon interacts with Santos is behavior that Robby, himself, displays toward co-workers (including Langdon) through the course of the shift. And it's Robby's perspective that we get to step into and out of as we watch him increasingly dissociate from reality as the shift goes on.

Langdon's comment about drugs vs. breakdown isn't about them being equally bad. It's commentary - on both narrative and meta levels - about them being equally fucked up by the job. This discussion - this discussion - centers Langdon and Robby as individuals who have suffered harm from their workplace environment. There's another conversation that could and should be had about the risk of harm to patients that each of them pose, but that is not what is happening right here. (Not even Robby is doing this here. In fact, Robby continues to see this through the lens of personal betrayal, making it about himself, and is only at this point taking the first baby steps to center Langdon in discussion about Langdon's own addiction.)

This conversation about the toll on healthcare workers as individuals, as people, is a vital conversation, in and of itself, even aside from getting into risk to patients. We should care about both Robby and Langdon - and by extension about the healthcare workers they represent - for themselves, not just as a risk-benefit analysis. They're people, not automatons who spit out treatment when you put your quarter in the hospital machine, and they deserve care and compassion and treatment for their problems just as much as any patient does. I feel like it's crucial that people understand - the conversation they're having, the kind of treatment regimen that Robby is laying out, it isn't about punishing Langdon for illegal, unethical behavior. It's not designed as a punitive program. It's about getting Langdon help for his addiction and getting him back on track, professionally as well as personally.

And here's the thing: Robby needs help for his PTSD just as much as Langdon needs help for his addiction, he is being harmed just as badly by his PTSD as Langdon is being harmed by his addiction, and Robby is just as resistant to admitting that he has a problem and getting help for it. Langdon isn't saying "Don't act like you're morally better than me," he's saying "Don't act like you're functional, either, because you're not." And like many, many of the things Langdon says through the course of the shift, the way he says it may be shitty - whether that's because he's naturally kind of an asshole or because it's part of his addict behavior - but that doesn't mean he's wrong. Robby isn't functional. We watch him be literally non-functional at various points during the shift. By some metrics - terrible, fucked-up metrics - Langdon is more functional than Robby, and it may be how he's gotten away with self-medicating for so long, because he keeps doing what needs to be done, pushing people through the system, through the ED, getting them treated and out, continuing to push the rock uphill, even at points when Robby is demonstrably paralyzed by his trauma, unable to keep moving, to keep doing, to keep treating patients and moving them on the conveyer belt toward admission or discharge, getting flattened under the rock rolling back over him, over and over.

I'm just. So tired of seeing people minimize his trauma as a way to score points off Langdon.

[peoniesnro]

In Another Universe

#12. RUINED and DESTROYED

Synopsis – When you are just another iteration of Park Jimin’s girlfriend in a different universe.

Park Jimin × Reader

Genre – parallel universe / kind of fantasy/ strangers to ??/ SMUT/ maybe romance/ angst/ fluff /Infidelity

Warnings- Language/SMUT- Making out/ Dirty talks/Public sex (I have done it in the end dear freinds) /Unportected sex/ Pussy slaps/ Cumming inside/Rough sex/ Word 'slut'/ Oral (m.recieving)/ Angst / INFIDELITY

Word count- 22k (╥﹏╥)

a/n- My fingers slipped and I accidentally wrote too much. Then I tried to reduce the word count and ended up writing some more. So, here we are. I give up. (Thankyou for reading babies❤️)

Taglist?

Chapter Index

Previous - Next

“Okay, I really don’t get it.” Taehyung furrows his brows before raising them in question. “You cheat on your girlfriend with someone who exactly looks like her?” He blinks at Jimin’s face. “I mean, what’s the fucking logic in that?” His mouth falls open in a perfect 'O' of disbelief.

Jimin sighs heavily. Throws his head up searching for answers he usually finds in the ceiling. This time, though, he finds none. This is not how he expected this conversation to happen. When he said he’d talk to Taehyung and there’d be no problems, he had really believed it. Except that there are so many problems now. Currently, Jimin is standing in the middle of Hoseok’s office room. This is neither the way nor the place he wishes to have this conversation. He desperately needs his genius of a best friend to shut the fuck up right now. He doesn’t.

“I mean I’m the worst person here- we all know that- but you know what’s wrong with me. I have fucking commitment issues.” Taehyung gestures at himself before continuing. “I can’t stick to one person. I mean it’s bad as it sounds but what I don’t get is what’s your reasons Jimin? Like it’s understandable if you’re looking for different tastes. That’s not the case here though. They’re literally the same person. Carbon copies. Why would you choose her when you can fucking buy a brothel for yourself.” Shakes his head.

Jimin cringes visibly at the sound of it. Just a taste? What’s wrong with his best friend? That’s not how Jimin regards you at all. How dare Taehyung would assume that. Yet, before he can say anything a second voice interrupts him. “For fucks sake, Kim Taehyung, is that the problem here? This stupid fucker here is cheating on his girlfriend and you’re wondering why he’s not doing it with multiple women?” Seokjin’s voice booms through Hoseok’s office. Everyone inside winces at the sound. Seokjin is the last person Jimin wants to be here.

That sure was a hell of a surprise when he was confronted by Seokjin instead of Taehyung this morning. Jimin was too stunned to speak at first. Then his older friend has dragged his ass inside Hoseok’s office. Where Taehyung and Hoseok were waiting patiently for them with guilty faces. In the end, it turned out that it has nothing to do with Hoseok, but it had everything to do with dear Taehyung. Jimin badly wanted to smack his best friend right across the head when he heard how Taehyung had accidentally spilled the secret for Seokjin, because he thought Seokjin knows- as Taehyung claims. See, Taehyung is a genius. Jimin can’t even bring himself to wonder why on the fucking earth Taehyung thought Seokjin would be taking part of such sordid matter. Why would Taehyung ever think Seokjin would know when he, Jimin’s fucking best friend didn’t.

Doesn’t matter now, however. Taehyung had made the entire thing worse in ten folds when Jimin returned to his workplace. Maybe if he hadn’t avoided coming here yesterday like a coward, this might’ve not happened. The thing is though, he felt like he couldn’t. So, he had paid an unannounced visit to his parents after he woke up in a hotel room. Bed empty and you not being anywhere in his sight. He simply didn’t want to talk about it with anybody even though it’s just Taehyung. But now here he is.

“That’s not what I asked Hyung. I asked him why he chose his girlfriend’s twin sister out of many other─” Taehyung starts with a very serious face, only to get thrown off guard when Seokjin yells through top of his lungs again.

“YEAH? And that’s the problem here? It’s fucking worse that he’s doing it with her but that’s not the damn problem Taehyung! He. Is. Fucking. Cheating. That’s the problem here.” Seokjin points at Jimin. Taehyung shuts his mouth immediately. Even takes a step back. Jimin feels his patience wearing thin. Why do his friends treat him like a kid. He’s a grown adult who can do whatever he wants.

“For fucks sake Hyung, can you please not do this. I really have work to do.” Jimin glares at Seokjin. He only scoffs.

“You do? Now you’re a responsible CEO? But if I can recall correctly, you decided to run away with your miss─”

“Oh my god Jin. This is not that much of a problem. Nothing happened.” Hoseok decides to bring the attention to him for Jimin’s pleasure. Yet it’s a very foolish idea on Hoseok’s part it seems. The moment those words leave his lips, Jin’s head snaps to Hoseok at lightning speed. His glare sharp enough to burn the entire universe down to ash.

“Yeah? You think so? Nothing happened? Not a problem? What the fuck are you thinking Jung Hoseok? This is all half your fault?” Seokjin nearly stands up from Hoseok’s chair where he’s been seated at. Hoseok almost takes a step back as if Seokjin might hit him. Jimin think that might be the case after all. Seokjin looks feral. Is going berserk. Jimin feels like a kid getting scolded by their father. Taehyung and Hoseok are his innocent siblings.

“Wh-what? How’s this my fault? What did I do?” Hoseok questions in genuine curiosity. Offended. Again, a foolish idea.

“You have to ask that.” Seokjin scoffs loudly. Tilts his head to the side. Pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue. Takes a moment to compose himself before turning his attention back to Hoseok, who looks bewildered. “You, my stupid friend, is the one who knew what’s going on from the very beginning. You apparently knew it wasn’t Liya but his sister who was in the cottage and also knew your asshole friend is fucking her. You decided to keep quiet you little…” Jin swallows whatever he wanted to say. This time gets to his feet. Leans forward for more emphasis and points a finger at Hoseok. “And guess what, we can forget that part. Can forget it ever happened because it could’ve ended there, and you decided to bring her here? For what Hobi? You wanted to be the fucking hero of a pathetic love story?” Levels Hoseok with a pointed look.

Hoseok gapes back at Seokjin for a minute. And when Jimin thinks Hoseok is not about to answer that question, he does. “No. I- I just- I don’t know Hyung. Maybe I wanted him to realize that he doesn’t have to be fucking obliged to someone for the rest of his life. So, sue me Hyung, for caring.” Hoseok returns the pointed look Seokjin is giving to him.

Jimin wants to laugh. Hard. This situation is ridiculous. What the fuck is his friends are talking about. He knows that they all care, but this is just too much.

“Can you guys just not make fucking decisions for me. And don’t talk like I’m not here. I can fucking hear you.” Jimin obstructs the staring competition that is going on inside the room. They both turn their heads toward Jimin. Taehyung just stands next to Jimin. Apparently, resigned to himself after Seokjin yells at him.

“What? You’re blaming me for bringing her here?” Hoseok is the one who questions, however. And that’s not the case at all. Jimin could never blame Hoseok for that. Even though he feels like conned. Like Hoseok had conspired behind him. And he certainly feels annoyed at the fact that Hoseok tried to control his life. See now, he loves his friends dearly, but if they think they have a say in his life, then they are just as wrong as Liya. Yet, Jimin can’t blame Hoseok for bringing you back to his life. No, that’s the best thing Hoseok has ever done. So, he remains silent. “See, he wants that.” Hoseok says to Jin at Jimin’s silence in the end.

“Course he wants that.” Seokjin plops back into his seat. “So, what now? What do you want Jimin to do now that your genius of a plan worked because your idea of caring means helping your best friend fucking cheating on his girlfriend. Okay, fine. Now he is happily doing that, what’s your next step Hobi? Want him to break up with Liya?” Asks mockingly.

There they go again. Jimin scowls in irritation. Apparently, his request hasn’t reached his friends’ brains.

“Well, why can’t he?” Hoseok shows his hands inside his pant pockets. Jimin wants to punch him in the face.

“Oh, she’d definitely take that very well. She’d just sit there and wish Jimin good luck.” Jin sneers.

“Why? What would she do?” Taehyung perks up back again.

“What do you think she would do Tae? Do you guys really think she’d just back away?” Jin rubs his face in frustration. This conversation needs to end now.

“No one’s breaking up with anyone. Just drop the damn topic guys. Just mind your own fucking business, will you? I can make decisions for myself verry well.” Jimin doesn’t let Jin answer Taehyung’s question. Says in a stern voice. His CEO voice. Almost leaves the scene when Jin and Hoseok both scoff at the same time.

“You’ve been doing it very well, lately.” Jin is the one who speaks in the end. “Okay, what’s your plan Jimin? Keep going on? Keep cheating on your girlfriend with her twin sister?” Asks Jimin. Well, Jimin has no answer for that. Why his friends can’t let it go. “And then what’s you gonna do when Liya eventually and inevitably finds out? What do you think will happen then?” Keeps questioning and fuck Jimin has no answer for a single one. Gladly, though, before Jin can add something more to his never-ending list of questions, Taehyung offers his two cents.

“Okay, but really, what’s the worst Liya can do? Threat Jimin? Kill Jimin? It’d be an ugly breakup and that’s it.” He innocently gapes at the three of them. An awful silence falls down before Taehyung starts again. “I mean she would yell at Jimin. She’d hate him but clearly, she wouldn’t do anything else right? She- uh she won’t….” Looks expectantly at Jimin.

“Of course, she won’t.”

“Fucking yes she will.” Jimin and Jin say at the same time. Jimin being the one to deny while Jin being the one to acclaim. Jimin snaps his head toward Jin. Questioning him.

“What’s that supposed to mean Hyung?”

“You know what Jimin. You all little shit heads know. I really don’t want to voice this out Jimin, but Liya is a snake and she’s gonna bite in revenge.” Turns his attention to Hoseok. “I don’t know what you were thinking Hobi but if you ever thought that your stupid games are gonna work, you’re the most stupid person I’ve ever seen. This is not a fucking drama.” Gets to his feet. Appears to be done with this stupid conversation slash fight but apparently is not. Walks toward Jimin. But looks at all three of them when he starts again. “Whether it’s you break up or keep cheating on her, that’s only going to end one-way Jimin. Only one way. She’s going to make the mighty Kim pull out from the company. You know she’s his princess, he’s gonna do anything she says and when that happens─” He stops for moment. Takes a deep breath. “─that shit is going to destabilize the damn stock values and look forward for that power vacuum Mr. Park.”

Everything goes into a deep silence. Jimin inhales a shaky breath. Jin isn’t just pointing out anything new. Jimin already knew. He isn’t an idiot even though he has his fair share of stupid moments. After what feels like a year in a void, Taehyung chuckles. Humorless.

“Oh, c’mon, she won’t walk that far now. Besides, we’re a valuable asset. Kim isn’t a stupid to just ruin business over private matters.”

“Really Tae? You think that naively? Dude, listen to me close, okay? We’re a valuable asset as long as we have him. The king of this world. Have him pull out and we. Are. Done.” Jin grits his teeth. Nobody says anything else for another long moment. Jimin knows there’s nothing he can say to defend the situation. Hoseok knows that too. Taehyung does too but the guy always sticks to the better part. Always finds a way to work it out. Is one of those people who thinks there’s a solution to every problem.

“Well, then we have this new launch. You know people are already crazy about it. We can make ourselves self-sufficient. I mean it would take time but….”

“You’re not seeing it Tae. Sure, we do have the new launch but that’s fucking months ahead. And in any case if you’ve forgotten, Kim is the fucking main sponsor. If he pulls out that one, do you think we’d have enough time to find a new one?” Jin rubs his face again. He’s a little red. None of these are new information for Jimin. He’s the CEO for fucks sake. He knew all. He knew what could go wrong in the end. There’s a reason for him saying to you that he can’t just break up with Liya. He would be responsible for more than broken heart if he does that. Yet, in the very end, Jimin doesn’t know what to do. And he’s glad when Hoseok raises the same question.

“So, what? You want to use Jimin as a fucking leverage for the rest of his life?”

“No- what? No for the sake of fuck.” Jin looks taken aback. Jimin feels a headache emerging. This is a complete mess. And the headache quickly turns into a throb in his head when Jin turns to him. “Nobody asked you make yourself a fucking pawn Jimin. Nobody ever did. And if you wanted an out from your pain-in-the ass relationship, you could’ve done it way before and the reason should’ve not been Li. Now bro, this is too late. You can’t fucking play around like a college student. So, maybe just fucking grow up and do the right thing.” He takes a step toward Jimin. Presses a finger to Jimin’s chest. “Figure your shit Jimin. There’s thousands of people on your hand.” Jimin just gulps harshly when Jin turns around. This time he actually walks toward the door. For Jimin’s great relief.

A relief that lived very short since Jin stops right as he opens the door. Not because he has something else to say but clearly there’s someone outside the door. Jin curses lowly which follows by a quick apology. Then he steps away to make way for the newcomer. And Jimin’s heart sinks to the pit of his stomach when you walks in. Your head is low as you bow to Jin. You don’t look at anyone. Mood somber and painful. You heard. Oh, fuck you heard. Jimin gapes at you with wide eyes when you meekly look at him.

“Can we talk please?”

……………………………………

You heard. Of course, you did. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but who could blame you for having perfectly fine two ears that work well. It was a complete accident. You didn’t even hear the whole conversation. It was just the last bit and you’re glad. It would’ve been a great heart ache if you heard everything. The bit you heard was enough to let you know that Jin was so against your sordid affair. As he should be. It seems Jin is the only normal person here. And so did you heard Jin asking Jimin to do the right thing. That 'right thing' meant Liya. Jin wanted Jimin to end things with you.

You felt as if it was hard to breathe while you stood there outside the door. Fear getting a tight grip over your heart that it physically hurt. You know Jin was right. You know what you and Jimin do is wrong. But you can’t get yourself to care. No, not now. Suddenly, the limited time you worried about wasn’t your priority anymore. Not being able to spend that time with the person you want is your new priority. Morality be damned. Everything else will be damned. You don’t want Jimin to make that decision. Hence, your terrified stare at Jimin’s face now after guys left you alone with him.

What if he ends it now?

What if he tells you that he finally got his senses back?

What if….

What if…

What if….

“Lil, I─”

“I only have a year.” You blurt out. You surprise even yourself with how quickly and suddenly the words spill out. You don’t care about that part, but you need to bide your time. Have your chances. How selfish. Desperate. And definitely stupid. But you want Jimin in a sickening way. Jimin closes his mouth instantly. Brows furrowing and expression morphing into something confused.

“What?”

“I only have a year Jimin.” You start to retell everything that happened yesterday for a second time that day. So fast that you find it hard to breathe. And when you finally stop talking like a crackhead, you’re gasping for air and Jimin is gaping at you. His expression is void of any emotions. This is one of those rare moments where you can’t read him. Your pulse is thundering, and you can feel your chin start to wobble. You desperately need Jimin to say something. And he really comes close to doing so and put you out of your misery when the door suddenly opens. Startling both of you. It’s Hoseok who interrupts this serious situation. Apparently, has a good reason, however.

“Sorry to interrupt but the mighty Kim is here and unfortunately, I don’t think you can avoid his ugly face this time boss.” He states to Jimin. Despite his effort to make the situation looks easy with his words, the tension in the room remains the same.

This is not a good time for Jimin to leave you. Maybe he can give you a simple answer like ‘it’s okay’. Maybe he can just hug you before he leave. He doesn't do either. Just nods to Hoseok.

“I’ll text you.” Says. Hands you your phone before leaving you with a Hoseok who has an empathetic look on his face.

………………………………

You had waited your whole damn life for that text. Okay, maybe you’re being a little extra but that’s how it had felt. A whole lifetime until you received the text.

Meet me at 8 PM. I’ll pick you up at Jungkook’s.

You replied to it with a simple okay. And now you can’t wait to run home. You feel nervous. There’s a whole damn battle happening inside your stomach. The anticipation is killing you. It had been that way ever since you received the text. There are two ways that this meet up can go. You’re afraid of the bad way. Yet, the best you can do for yourself now is to get the thing done as soon as possible. You haven’t seen Jimin for the entire day. It’s fairly late now. You can retire for the day in couple more minutes. All you have to do is bring Hoseok, a last cup of coffee. The moron isn’t listening to your advice not to drink coffee at night. That shit is going to mess up with his sleep. Yet, you can’t do anything about that in the end. Guess, you’ll have to listen to the boss.

You rush to his office with the cup of coffee in your hand. The faster you take it to him, faster you can go home. There’s a sense of relief building inside you even at the thought. You come really close to Hoseok’s outer office when a sudden voice interrupts you. The relief which has been building up inside you vanish instantly.

Fuck, no.

You turn around feeling annoyed to find Jin just casually stands there.

God, no.

Not now. You’re in a rush. You can’t have this unavoidable but can be delayed talk now. Maybe the next or after that day. Anytime but now.

“C-can we do this later Jin. I’m in a─”

“Do what later?” He stalks toward you slowly. Cooly. You expect him to look pissed. Annoyed. Disgusted. But he looks nothing sort of that. Just a calm look on his face. You sigh heavily. Why does he have to act like that? There’s no reason to be smug. You know your faults.

“Oh, c’mon, I know you’re here to lecture me about- uh- you know this whole thing and to tell me how wrong that is... stuff. But can you do it later?”

Jin chuckles softly at that. His eyes glinting. “Why would you think that I have to do that?” Asks with a soft smile. You just gape at his face. Not finding any other reason for Jin to wanting to approach you. It surely can’t be business related. “You’re a grown woman Li. Why the hell I would have to teach you the right and wrong.” Explains further at your dumbfound state.

Oh, that feels a lot like sarcasm. It feels like Jin is making fun of you. Pointing out how much of an evil person you are to choose the wrong when you know it’s wrong. Then he surprises you with his next words.

“No, Li, that’s not my business. Maybe, Jimin is my business but you’re not.” Another chuckle escapes him. “I’m not a crazy rich dad who’s going to pay you a billion to stay away from my son. God, I have my own problems going on. I just want to know if we are cool. Like you’re not mad at me, right?”

“Huh?” You’re truly and utterly surprised. Those words are not expected at all.  “Why- why would I be mad at you?”

“I’m sure you heard me yelling at Jimin and asking him to do- you know, the right thing. I think it must sound as if I’m asking him to toss you aside. I want you to know that’s not what I meant. You’re a good person and you don’t deserve to be treated like someone’s possession—used and tossed aside just because I or anyone else says so. Want you to know that I’m- uh- it’s not like that I have something against you. But what’s wrong is wrong and I’ll say it because I’m not Taehyung or Hoseok.”

“I know that, Jin. I mean, I understand it... uh...” You shrug, seemingly at a loss for words. Why does Jin would ever think he’d have to make amends with you when you’re just no one. Jin and you are not that close. It can be understandable if this is Hoseok. Even Taehyung would be fine. Why Jin? “Why are you worried about us not being cool anyway? It’s not like─”

“Don’t hurt my feelings now saying we’re not close. Because we are. I prefer you to make me coffee every day than drinking that nasty one my secretary makes; don’t tell her I told you that. But─” He sighs. Square his shoulders. “We are kind of friends Li. Like I don’t want you to think I have anything personal with you. Or I disrespect you. It’s just that what you’re doing is wrong. But I’m not going to lecture you about it. So, just know that I’m not the bad guy, okay?”

You take a moment at that. What Jin says makes perfect sense. Jin is the guy who won’t eat your food when you asked him not to. He’s the good guy. You know it. So, you simply nod. There’s no reason of having a beef with this sweet guy. Not that you ever thought that way. Simply because you knew he’s telling the truth. And the fact that he thinks that he has to tell you this in person touches your heart oddly. “I know. We’re cool, old man.” You give him a soft smile. He scrunches up his face.

“No, don’t do that. I didn’t give you any privileges to do that. Besides, I look way younger than you people. I mean c’mon I can hear your knee cracking when you sit down.” He gesture at your poor knees. You gasp, feigning offense.

“They do not crack.” You raise your leg to flex your knee. Just prove him your point. “See. Works silky smooth.” Jin snorts.

“Yeah, let’s think so.” You try to argue but he continue before you can. “So, we’re cool right?”

“We are.”

“Fine. And hey, I know I said I’m not gonna lecture you but uh... maybe don’t put yourself in this mess. Sure, you know how ruthless they can be. They are your family, after all.”

No, you don’t.

You just smile at that. Jin’s amused expression changed into a serious one. You know he means good. And it’s really nice of him to think about you too. It’s just too bad that you are already in this mess. You can’t find a way out. Jin nods in response. Mumble something about it being over then and almost turn around when you stop him. You don’t know why you ever thought to meddle with other people’s businesses.

“Um Jin?”

He turns back to you at your call.

“I know I called you an old man but trust me, you’re not too old for J. I like to ship two Js.” A giddy smile creeps on your face at the look on Jin’s face. He looks mortified.

“That’s- we- that was a one-time thing.” He stammers. Hoseok told you Jin knows the complete truth. That’s the only thing you were able to get out from your boss’s mouth. He was adamant that the rest of it was none of your business. And you guess that by the complete truth, Hoseok means that Jin knows it was you who were at the cottage. The one who had to hear J blatantly stating that she got Jin’s dick wet. It kind of feels liberating to be able to talk freely now. No secrets. Expect the part that you’re not really Liya’s sister.

“Sure, let’s think so.” You throw his own words at him. “But if you decide it wasn’t a one-time-thing, her birthday is coming.” Add before turning around and walking to Hoseok’s office. The coffee must be cold now, but your boss would have to do with it. You’re already running late.

………………………………….

Jungkook was late. Too late. When he sorted out his own head and decided he needed to hurry up, it was already too late. You were already drowning in the mess Jimin created. And here he is sitting on his couch, having to watch you fussing around. Stressing out about an outfit to wear to a- not a date as you claim. But then again, you’re worrying too much. Too fucking much for Jungkook’s liking. In fact, he hates this. You told him that this meetup might happen so Jimin can end things with you. Which Jungkook finds good. That’s how it should be. And it’s not entirely about jealousy. He’s jealous yes. There’s a monster roaring inside him to see you all worked up over a stupid outfit. But above that, Jungkook is scared.

See now, he might be too late already. But you told him that it was physical. You don’t love Jimin. And that leaves Jungkook with hope. He has this weird competitive side to him. He doesn’t like to lose. You’re not a prize to win. No. You’re too precious for being played to satiate his competitive ego. That’s not it. Simply, Jungkook doesn’t want to lose you. He might be sitting here watching you change ten outfits within ten seconds. Without having a say about your life. Yet, he still can try. There’s no such thing called ‘too late’. He can still very well try. Unless you’re not already in love with Jimin. That’s what scare Jungkook. If you don’t care about Jimin in any non- sexual way, why would you be so worried about this.

“How about this one?” Jungkook snaps out of his trail of thoughts at your voice. Raises his head to find you in a white dress this time. Short. Puffy- long sleeves. A low neckline. There’s a delicate necklace sitting on your neck. The dress hugs your godly curves perfectly. Then there’s your hair. Instead of putting it down, you had opted for a ponytail. Said something about a ponytail being the most casual hairstyle a girl can use without screaming overdoing it. But there are two strands of hair falling into your face. A deliberate action.

 You apparently want to appear casual. But not so casual at the same time. You had budged Jungkook for more than an hour saying how you want to look beautiful- which you haven’t said in exact words- but not looking like you’ve put in effort to it. Jungkook knows exactly what you’re doing. You want to impress Jimin but at the same time you don’t want Jimin to know that. Because you believe Jimin is going to toss you aside. Yet still you want to impress him.

And you’re doing a damn great job at it. You look God damn beautiful in that. Jungkook feels a vein in his forehead throbs. In annoyance. That monster inside him roars loudly. He doesn’t want you to look this beautiful. Especially, when that motherfucker is playing you like you’re a tennis ball. Why would Jimin get to decide whether he wants you or not. Why would you give the jerk such kind of power.

“Why are you worrying so much Noona? You just look fine in anything.” Jungkook grumbles. To which you sigh.

“I’m not worrying.”

“You said this isn’t a date.”

“It isn’t.”

“Then why thinking too much?”

You don’t answer that. Just close your mouth which you open to counter back. Just shrug. And Jungkook feels bad. You look adorable. It’s not your fault that he feels annoyed to see you doll up to see another man. He gets up from the couch slowly. Stalks to you. You just watch him approach and offer him a tiny smile as he grabs your shoulders.

“You’re fucking stunning Noona. You don’t have to stress so much.” He gives you a smile of assurance. Shakes you a little. “Besides, this isn’t a date. This is just you two meeting to talk about- uh- whatever happening and… if Jimin is about end things, just do it before him. He can’t just play you like that.” Adds for the sake of himself than you. He needs reassurance here. You roll your eyes. Snort.

“Wow… such a good advice Jungkook.” You grin. Jungkook loves that smile. “It’s not that I’m worried about that.” You start slowly. Your smile drops. “It’s just uh- I don’t know Kookie. I don’t even know why I’m worried.” Your sigh in resign. Jungkook mirrors your actions. It seems like he won’t get that reassurance. He would have to sit here in his empty apartment, imagining how it might be going. Praying selfishly that it would go the way he wants. But he can’t do anything about it. He can’t press you too much. When he asked you to stay with him. Not to move out. He promised you to be on your side. Said he’ll be fine with you despite what you do. And he is fine. You don’t disgust him. If anything, you make him forget to breathe.

Especially when you look like this. Even though it’s not for him, it’s not like he can’t appreciate it. He roams his eyes over your delicate features. You have applied a pink creamy lipstick to your perfect lips. It goes too well for you. It makes your lips look more luscious. Inviting. Your eyes sparkle under the dim light of his living room. The faint blush in your cheeks make you look hot and bothered. Not to mention that God damn eyeliner. In hindsight, you look like an art. Seductive. Deserves to be praised and appreciated. Worshipped. He would do that. Worships you like a goddess. How unfair the opportunity is, however, is in someone else’s hands. Someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Well, life isn’t fair anyway. He would just have to let you go for now. And wait. He’ll wait. Wait with you or for you. Either way he will stick to his promise, and he’ll keep trying. There’s no ‘too late’ s or ‘giving up’ s in Jungkook’s vocabulary. He drops his hands from your shoulders. Bring one hand to squeeze your cheeks. It’s not foreign for both of you. He’s always been touchy. He knows you’re comfortable. Now, he just wants to distract himself from your luscious lips. Hence, his playful squeeze to your cheeks.

But fuck! Bad idea! Wrong move.

It makes you pout. Those lips looks even more inviting now. Jungkook wants to accept that invitation. What would happen if he just presses his lips to yours. Kiss you hard till you can’t breathe. Ruin that lipstick. He wants to ruin that lipstick. Oh, this is bad. So bad.

He was sexually attracted to you from the very first day he saw you. Since the day he thought you were Liya. Could’ve actually fucked you despite knowing you were with Jimin in that time, if you ever gave a so much of a sign to him. You didn’t. That, however, didn’t make his life easy. You are hot. Undeniably and undoubtedly. No healthy man would be able to resist. Then Jungkook is not just attracted to you that way. There’s no denying that he likes you. More than in a way friend should. And it makes his situation more pathetic. He doesn't want to ruin anything. You see him as a friend, and God, it’s hard to be the Jungkook you expect him to be. He does it somehow.

“I think you have more than enough reason to be worried. That’s fine. And for the hundredth time Noona, you look effortlessly beautiful. So, stop fussing and go get this shit done.” Jungkook lets your cheeks go. You take a minute but eventually nod with a grin.

“Yeah.” You give a firm nod. “It’s not like I’m going to meet my boyfriend. It’s not like I’m about to breakup. It’s just a complicated situation but what’s the worst that can happen right? I mean, the sex is good but if Jimin thinks he doesn’t want this, then Imma gonna find me a new man. Thanks for the moral support Kookie.” Pat his arm before you turn around.

At least Jungkook got the reassurance he needed, eventually. Even though you lost the sparks in your eyes when you say that. Jungkook would believe your words. And he would keep trying. A woman like you worth a good fight.

………………………………….

Despite what you told you Jungkook, you’re nervous as hell. See now, you don’t really know why it’s hard to let Jimin go. Just like you told Jungkook and yourself, whatever happening between Jimin and you is just sex. Yet, you can’t let Jimin go. You’re afraid Jimin will say those words the moment you enter his black Élite. You don’t want Jimin to go. You don’t know a reason and you don’t care to find one now. All you want is to keep going. Hell, even your palms are sweaty as you throw a nervous glance at the man at the driving seat. In his effortless glory. He is still in his work clothes minus the tie and the coat. Yet, looks stunning.

“You, okay?” Jimin breaks the awful silence that has been filling the air since you got inside. He hasn’t started the car yet. You’re still parking near Kim’s.

“Y-yeah. I- uh… I’m good.” You try to smile. Fail. Your smile probably looks like a sneer.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t meet you sooner. Had a bunch of work.”

“That’s fine Park. I know you have work.”

“Okay.” Jimin nods. Why’s it so uncomfortable? Why are you being awkward around each other? Another pause. Silence. Nobody says anything. Like you’re strangers. You absolutely hate feeling this way. If Jimin really is going to end this, he needs to do it faster before you explode. Or you need to start the conversation. This isn’t going anywhere this way. You curl your fists. Take a deep breath. Almost open your mouth at the same time Jimin does. He beats you up to it by a millisecond.  “No, but seriously Lil, are you okay?” Asks before you can ask him anything else. It takes you by surprise that you remain silent for a moment. Just gaping at Jimin’s face until he raises a brow in question. Well, there’s nothing you’ll gain from beating around the bush anymore.

“You gonna do as Jin said?” You blurt out before you can overthink and cower again. It’s Jimin’s time to be surprised. Only for a fractured second. Then a small smile grazed his lips. His eyes instantly started to sparkle. Amusement. You know that look. That doesn’t ease your nerves, though. If anything, it makes you irritated. What’s so funny in this situation. Especially, when you feel like throwing up.

“I have something for you.” And to worsen the situation, Jimin doesn’t answer you either. You give him an annoyed but curious look as he starts to rummage through the center console. Pulls out a small box from there. His small smile widen into a full-blown grin while he thrusts the box into your hand. You don’t take it. Just look at it with skeptical eyes. What the fuck is this man doing?

“What is it?” You question. Eyeing the box as if it would contain drugs. It’s black. Matte. Has a golden butterfly carved into the lid. There’s a capital E under it. Looks beautiful. Expensive. Doesn’t make any sense to you.

“Go on Spring Roll. Look for yourself.” Jimin shows the box into your hand. Forcefully. His eyes are still glinting. Leaking lights from the restaurant makes them even more beautiful. Ethereal. You keep your gaze on him for minute, enjoying the sight before paying attention to the box in your hand. If he wants you to find out yourself, then you might as well do so. So, you slowly open it. Carefully. Still confused. Skeptical. Brows furrowed as the elegant box lid slowly opens. An instant and quick gasp leaves your mouth. There’s two crystal clear earrings. Like two rain drops. Delicate. Beautiful. Something that requires a skillful hand to create.

It takes your frozen and surprised brain time to register it. Then it suddenly hits. You’ve seen them before. Months ago. At a luxurious shopping mole. This was too expensive for you to at least consider buying it. And Jimin offered to buy it and called you homeless. You whip your head toward him. Eyes wide in surprise. In disbelief. He sure didn’t buy you the exact same pair.

“J-Jimin.” You whisper. Jimin’s bites his bottom lip.

“You like it Spring Roll?”

“Isn’t this uh- that day from the mall…”

“It is. Don’t tell me you don’t like it anymore because I had to start a mini protest until they found me the exact pair I wanted. It was sold out.” He gives you a look. That piece of information makes it worse for you. Why would he walk that length to buy you an expensive pair of earrings.

“B-but why? Jimin, you didn’t have to─”

“I know Lil. I wanted to.” You try to protest but he shuts you off by leaning forward. Coming closer to your face until you feel his breath on your face. “And don’t start complaining. Don’t talk about how expensive it is. Don’t refuse. Don’t go talking about how you don’t want my gifts because…” Pause for a moment to stare at you teasingly. “If you do, I’m really gonna get you down, bend you over the hood and fuck you out in the open where every patron inside the restaurant can see us, till you accept it. I’m not joking baby.” His voice drops an octave down as he finishes it. You stare at him dumbly. Throat suddenly dry. You’re baffled.

“Oh, wow.” You manage to mumble softly in the end. Still very stunned. Jimin really doesn’t look like he’s joking.

“So… you gonna accept it?” Asks without withdrawing from your personal space. You take your time in answering that.

“Mm.. it’s not like I have an option. I mean...” You tilt your head, so your mouth is hovering over his. “The threat is tempting Park. I’m only accepting this because I don’t want Mrs. Kim to see me. The poor woman will have a heart attack. So, yeah, I am. But can I still know why?” You don’t withdraw either. Jimin is visibly buzzing with amusement at this rate. He loves this game of teasing, it seems.

“Why?”

“Mhm. Why are you bringing me gifts?”

“No reason. Just wanted to.” His voice is a low murmur now. His eyes drops to your lips. And your heart skips a beat. Park Jimin will always have this effect on you. No matter how many times he does this. Even now you’re dying to feel his lips on yours. Excitement vibrates through your body. All your previous worries pushed behind your head. Temporarily. It’ll come back to the front when this is over. Now, however, you’re starting to get lost on this magnetic force of a man. His pull being too strong for you to think straight.

But in the end, it seems, you don’t have to delay the talk after all. Just as you think he is about to give you that highly anticipated kiss, Jimin starts speaking again. “And I wanted to apologize. You overheard us earlier. I don’t want you to think that we’re talking behind your back. Because we’re not. And baby, this is my life. I know it’s fucked up and I’m a coward to do this to both of us. But as long as you want me, I’m not gonna let you go. Jin will have to work with it. So, do you still want me?”

You thought the surprises were over. Hell, you feel like your heart is swelling like a balloon. It’s getting damn emotional. You avert your gaze down from his face. Not being able to look at him. You force yourself to talk steadily. Not wanting to appear desperate. Yet you can’t hide the way your entire body relaxes. Relief washing over you. “Of course, I want you Jimin.” You say as he brings his hand to your chin. Forcing you to look at him before that kiss finally lands on your lips. Not a hard and deep one. Just a sensual one. You don’t know what you are doing here.

“And Lil?” He calls you at the very moment he stops kissing you. Takes your hand in his. “About you having a year…. We will work on that. We have year. That’s a long time and I promise we’d figure it out.” Squeezes your hand. “Who knows whether you’d decide that you don’t want to be here anymore. Who knows if you grow to hate me and this world.” Chuckles softly. You find comfort in that. “So, let’s see where we go. What we want and if we both want the same thing in the end, I promise you I’m gonna turn the world upside down to find a way.” Your throat is starting to clog. See, what the hell are you two doing here. Exchanging gifts. Panicking about breaking ups when you’re really not in a relationship. Giving promises. Thinking about a damn future. “Until then Spring Roll, let’s just live in this moment. Okay?”

This is not normal. You are the other woman. You need to fuck and get done. That’s how casual relationships work. You and Jimin might be losing your minds. And he makes it worse again. Just after you nod in agreement to worry about your long-time problems later. To accept his promise just like his gift. Jimin softly smiles at you.

“Let’s go then.”

“Where?”

“There’s something I want to show you.”

This is not normal at all.

……………………………………

You gaze in awe at thousands of tiny lights twinkling in the distance. From the hill where you are right now, the city looks like a distant world that is a part of a fairy tale. Not something that is real. Your heart is thumping against your rib cage madly. This is stupid really. Cliché. Cheeky. Something a sweet couple in a stupid romance movie would do. Which means you shouldn’t be doing this. You’re not a couple and certainly not from a movie. Then what the hell are you doing here. Sitting on Jimin’s car hood. Sipping beer. Inhaling fresh air and enjoying a fairy scenery. Nothing about this is normal. Jimin bending you over his car hood fucking you to the next week is normal. He taking you to his favorite place isn’t. Yet you can’t help but express your gratitude over the sweet act.

“It’s so fucking beautiful.” You breathe out. Enchanted by the vision.

“It is, isn’t it? I came here often back then.” Jimin sips from his beer can. You’re sitting on the hood with your legs crossed while Jimin just leaning against it. You watch him carefully as he avert his gaze to you.

“You don’t anymore?”

“Well, I grew up.”

You scrunch up your nose in displeasure. “That’s a lame excuse Park.” Jimin chuckles. You both shift your attention back to the city sparkling in distance. You’re not really alone here. There are a few other vehicles on halt. Few other couples- surely lovers, people who are not in a messed up, wrong, and pathetic situation like you- leaning against their vehicles. Enjoying their date night. A single streetlamp provides light to the surrounding. Adding beauty to the scenery. This is nice. Sweet. Too sweet, in fact.

You can’t keep the little voice in your head suppressed. You’re thinking too much. Maybe this is just fine. Everything is just fine. You need to enjoy the moment. You only have a year after all. In any case, if you can’t find a way or you decide you want to go back, these moments will be the only memories of your time together. You shouldn’t waste it like this. Lost in your head. Maybe everything don’t need to have clear reasons. Maybe Jimin himself is enough reason. For everything. Because he is him. Park Jimin. Your dirty little secret. Your sin. A man you found from another world. Your poison and your antidote. He is enough reasons.

“Want to come here with me often then? It’s good to have company than being alone.” Jimin’s sudden voice brings you back to the earth. You slowly turn your head to him. He isn’t looking at you. Just occasionally sipping at his beer and eyes glued forward. He looks ethereal as always. There’s more black roots in his hair now. You wonder how he would look with black hair. Will a year be enough to know everything about Park Jimin? To see various versions of him. “Hm?” Jimin hums in question again when you don’t answer. You blink. Forcing yourself to focus.

“You want to come here with me often?” Reply with another question. Jimin nods. You’re not surprised at his question anymore. He gave you a pair of expensive earrings after all. “Why not then. This nice, beautiful. As long as you’d buy me food on our way back. Do you know I’m hungry Park?” You finally manage to ease your head up. Ease your nerves. Relax and enjoy the moment.

“Oh yeah? Is your stomach grumbling?” Jimin widen his eyes in mock concern. “Let me check.” Gives you no time to prepare before he is leaning his head against your lap. Ear pressing into your stomach. A loud giggle erupts through your throat after a loud gasp.

“Really Park?” You ask through your giggles. Leaning back to give him enough room.

“Oh, my poor Spring Roll is so hungry.” Jimin mumbles sadly. Dramatic. “What do you want to eat princess?” Asks but doesn’t make any efforts to get away from you.

“Something unhealthy.” You say without a beat.

“Mhm, like a cheeseburger with extra cheese.”

“And chips.”

“And chips.” Jimin finally straightens up. “You wanna leave now?”. Asks. Eyes watching you with genuine concern now. You shake your head, though.

“No ─” You cup your tummy with both of your hands. As if it’s your most prized possession. Take a moment. “My tummy says she can wait few more hours.” Say very seriously that both of you burst out laughing. Well, when you think about it, you laugh more when you’re with Jimin. He does too. You’re happy, aren’t you? Insanely happy. You take a swig from your own beer cane to calm down from laughing. Take a deep breath after. “Park?” Call him in the end. Jimin raises his brow in question. “Thank you.” You whisper. You feel like he deserved to be thanked. It’s Jimin’s time to be confused now. So, you opt to provide an explanation. “I was nervous and worried. I don’t know why but I was. Now I really feel relaxed so, thank you for that.” Shrug. Don’t want to appear so sentimental now. Think Jimin will tease you. He doesn’t.

“I’m glad.” Mutters instead. You nod in acknowledgement. Oh, how relaxed you really feel now. How nice it would be if you could stay in this moment forever. You tilt your head up, fixing your eyes upon the starry sky instead of the city lights. Let your mind wander through different possibilities and scenarios. About your insane life. Isn’t it ridiculous that you’re stargazing in a world you don’t belong in?

“You know what Park,” You start suddenly. Without any prior thoughts. It just popped on your head while you’re watching the stars. You can see Jimin is mirroring you through your peripherals. “We’re not looking at the same sky when I’m in my world.” You don’t know why you said that. You did and suddenly the air turns heavy. You regret your words immediately. It feels depressing. It’s already out now, so, you turn to look at Jimin again. He has a serious expression on his face now.

“That- uh- I never thought about it that way. It’s strange, isn’t it?” He voices out after a long beat. It really is strange.

“It is. Sorry, I shouldn’t have start talking about─”

“But do you know what I always think when I look at the sky?” Jimin interrupts your apology. You don’t ask him what. Just wait for him to continue. “You came from a star.” He answers his own question. Your heart doesn’t skip a beat, it stops altogether. A shaky breath leaving your lips. Jimin always surprises you. You can’t learn a way to not to be surprised. That’s so unexpected. And you’re getting emotional again. Why would he say that?

“I- I- uh─” You stutter on your words. Not knowing what to say.

“What? You are. You came from a star.” He says so casually. Matter of factly. Holy fuck, he makes you feel so damn special. Like you’re the only woman exist. You don’t want to feel this way. It’s so good but scary as hell at the same time. So, you’re glad when an unexpected voice interrupts you from nowhere. Slightly startling you.

“Hey, I’m sorry but can you take a picture of me and my boyfriend?” You turn around to look at a petite girl with a polaroid camera in her hands. She holds it toward you when you finally pay attention to her. You look past her to see the said boyfriend there. The girl looks at you expectedly.

“Oh,” You give a quick glance to Jimin. He gives you a soft smile. “Yeah, sure. Gimme.”

She mumbles to you a quick thank you as you start to take their pictures which quickly turns into a well-planned photo shoot. You must have ended up taking pictures for more than half an hour and are grumpy as hell when you return back to Jimin. He looks happy, though. A wide smile on his face.

“For fucks sake!” You curse under your breath as Jimin stretches his arm to catch you. You gracefully fall into his arms. “I’m sorry that took so long.” You mutter an apology to his chest.

“It’s okay, you’re a good photographer.” He rubs his hand on your back soothingly. You click your tongue in annoyance when that same voice come behind you for a second time. You really have to bunch your fists in Jimin’s shirt to hide your annoyance. You can hit her if she’s bothering you again for one more picture.

“Excuse me, do you want me to take a picture of you too?” But she surprises you. You just turn your head to look at her while staying in Jimin’s hold. “Yours and your boyfriend’s?” She adds. Here’s a second person who misunderstood you and Jimin. Because it’s easy to do so. You definitely look like a couple. Your eyes widen. You almost shake your head in denial and declining her offer, when you’re suddenly turned around in Jimin’s hand. Facing the camera.

“Why not. Thank You.” Jimin says aloud as you snap your head toward him. Brows knitted in confusion and seriously questioning his life decisions. Jimin just stare back at you with his eyes glinting and smiling wide. Beautiful. You really want to protest but your heart is back to beating madly. Especially when Jimin holds from your jaw to turn your head forward. Then he hides his face in your neck, arms circling around your figure protectively. You stare at the girl in front of you with the camera raised to her eye. Still surprised. It takes you a second to register what’s really happening. To adjust your face to the photo. Your photo face. Your gentle smile. Or at least you try to do so. Just to fail. You can’t help the laugh that escapes you. Not even when you bite on to your lower lip. Jimin simply follows you. And you’re certain that you ruin three perfect shots.

Only that you don’t. Not at all. She hands you the three polaroids. It wasn’t ruined. It’s perfect if anything. Perfect in the way Jimin is looking at you in the first. All the while you’re furrowing at him. Makes Jimin burst out in laughter at that one. It’s perfect how you are so surprised when Jimin is hiding his face in your neck. Above all it’s perfect how genuine you both look while you’re crackling with laughter. They would’ve looked better if you have pulled your photo face on. But this way, they are real. It’s real you and Jimin frozen there.

“Perfect. I’m keeping all the three.” Jimin snatches the one in your hand. Pockets them immediately.

“No what? That’s no fair.” You try to grab his arm as he walks away. Ready to leave this place.

“How come? You didn’t want to take them.” Jimin easily avoids you as he opens the car door.

“No but... You gonna give me one or else I’m gonna kick your rich ass so hard. You hear me?” You get into the car as well. Glaring at Jimin. He’s grinning from ear to ear.

Isn’t this perfect?

……………………………………

You turn to face the window as far as the passenger seat permits.

“I’m not giving you my milkshake, Park. You could’ve ordered one.”  You grumble as you’re stuffing your mouth. All the while trying your best to protect your large milkshake.

“Well, I didn’t.” Jimin leans over the center console. There’s no space for you to turn now. Yet you try your best to keep the cup away from his grabby hands.

“And how’s that my fault?”

“You made me order coffee. At this hour.”

“I did no such thing. I’m gonna bite you if you─” Your threat instantly drops dead when Jimin snatches your cup of milkshake from your hand swiftly. “Yah!” You scream as he opens the car door in light speed. How the fuck does he move that fast?

“Too bad princess.” He leaves the car promptly. Leaving you blinking at the now- empty spot. Only until you register what happens, though. When it does your entire body goes rigid. Brain switches to full-on massacre mode.

“Yah, Park Jimin!” You open the passenger door as well. Abandon your burger. Poke your head out first. Looking at the Jimin who just stands there few feet away from you. Looking smug. “You gonna regret it you know. No one’s messing with my food. You’re dead.” You’re very serious here. Jimin looks adorable, yes. Still, you’re not going to give away your food. Even though he’s the one who paid. Who cares.

You curse lowly as you hurriedly get out of the car. Regretting the decision you made to remove your shoes. Yet you don’t have enough time to pull on your sneakers when your milkshake is in a threat. So, you ignore the way how rough the asphalt on the parking lot of the fast-food restaurant where you brought your food- feels under your bare feet. Just squint your eyes threateningly. For a minute. And you’re sprinting toward a grinning Park Jimin. He breaks into a run at the same time you do, though. It’s too bad he has shoes for added leverage. Not that you’ll give up though. You’ll run over ice and fire barefoot if what it means to take your milkshake back. That is your plan. And so do you nearly come succeeding before a sharp gravel stop you mid- running. You have stepped on it squarely. A sharp sting courses through your sole as you abruptly stop. Wincing. A yelp leaving your mouth as you fight for your balance. Jimin halts immediately as well.

“Lil?” Turns around quickly to run back to you. It’s impressive how he reaches you so fast. Playful expression completely changed into a one of concern. “What happened?”

You stop hopping on one leg while clutching the other for your life. “Fuck, I stepped on this shit.” Grumble as you kick the gravel away. Just like that Jimin’s concerned expression changes back into an amused one. His teasing voice echoing around. Making fun of you for your death threat which ended up in you hobbling on one leg. You pout at him. “It’s your fault.” Complaint. Eyeing your milkshake which is still in Jimin’s possession. Brain planning on ways to snatch it away. How bad that Jimin can read you too well. Even before you could properly stretch your hand Jimin puts the straw in his mouth. Draws a long gulp that you’re certain the entire drink is gone. You whine loudly as you place your forehead in his chest. “Not fair.”

Jimin curls his free hand around your figure, holding you close. Chuckles. Ruffles your hair a bit before he brings the cup down to your lips. “Want me to buy you a new one?” Questions softly as you wrap your lips around the straw. You shake your head. Lips stretching into a smile. You take the drink from his hand. Straightening up and turning around. Jimin warps his hands around you. Hiding his nose in your hair.

“You’re mean”

“You’re cute when you’re mad.”

You huff. It’s not that you’re really mad at him. You would’ve shared the drink with him anyway. It’s more fun this way though. You blindly raise the cup to him again. “I like this.” You let out a breath. A relaxed one. Because you really do like this.

“Like what?” Jimin rubs his hand over your tummy. Takes another swig.

“Being reckless.”

“How?”

“Like how I’m drinking a milkshake, barefoot, with the CEO of RUN, in a parking lot of a fast-food restaurant, as if we are ten years old.” Jimin laughs at that. The vibration of his body reverberating through you. Making your smile wider. “What else?” He questions. Places a soft kiss in your hair. You take a minute to think.

“Mmm, like boarding a random bus and travelling without knowing where we are going.” He hums in acknowledgement. So, you continue. “Like eating extra cheese, cheeseburgers late at night when I know I’d regret this soon.” You pause to snort. Jimin uses that pause to plant a soft kiss into your ear. Hums again. This time though, that hum makes you slightly shiver. Probably because it’s a whisper in your ear. Or the way he’s mindlessly nibbling on your ear. You take a breath. Contemplating what you should say next. Feel playful. Decide you want to play with fire. Jimin is fire. And you love pouring gasoline on him.

“Like making out with you on a public lane or giving you footjobs out in the open.” It works. A mischievous smile creeps on your lips as you feel Jimin goes rigid. “Or... like allowing you to finger me outside a convenience store while all our friends were just inside.” Jimin’s grip suddenly tighten on you. Your smile grows into a grin. Easy. He might be the one who always play but isn’t it amazing how you can fluster a man like Park Jimin just with your words. See, he makes you feel special.

“Yeah, you like that?” Oh, you know that voice. It’s low and dangerous. Enough to make you shiver. You nod. Turn your head to catch his lips. “I like it a lot, Park.” Whisper against his after you pull away. Who can blame you for not being able to get enough of Park Jimin. It’s not playing with fire anymore. You’re slowly starting to get riled up.  “Want to be reckless then? I have an idea.” Mumbles in your ear. And you have to close your eyes at the shiver that runs down your spine. A spark of fire igniting inside your stomach.

“Idea?” You smile. He reciprocates. Nods. “Your ideas are dangerous Park Jimin.”

“But your sweet cunt loves them.” Jimin purrs before turning you around to face him fully and kissing you hard.

Well, you love those ideas too.

……………………………

“Holy fuck, are you serious?” You shriek in mortification. Eyes wide as you take the sight of an aged wall of a neighborhood park. Small. Closed. Vacated. Except for the patrolling guards. And Park Jimin, being the idiot he is, wants you to climb over the wall and trespass. To add more to the ridiculous picture, he’s going to fuck you after.

What the actual fuck?

“Very, princess. C’mon” He holds his hand for you. You take it yet make no movements to go near the wall. He must be kidding you. He’s a darn CEO. Old. Matured. Or he is supposed to be mature. Taking a random bus to Namiseom Island is another thing. This? This is far too risky. You’ll end up in jail. And his face will be on every platform. His career will be ruined. Liya will kill you both. His friends won’t look at his face again. Still, though, he doesn’t care. “Lil?” He tugs gently from your hand. Inspects your mortified expression for moment. His expression softens “Hey!” Turns around to face you fully. Cups your cheek. “I’ve been here before. I won’t take you to a place that’s gonna harm you. But if you really don’t want to, it’s okay baby.” Gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. Smiles.

You inhale sharply. You know. Of course, you know he won’t. And he’s giving you full control. You’re completely allowed to say yes or no. To tell the truth, you’re nervous as hell. Your heart is beating violently, and your stomach is churning awfully. There’s goosebumps on your skin. This is risky. How humiliating it’d be to get caught. Yet, with everything, you can’t ignore the tingle in your lower abdomen. Can’t ignore the way your clit pulses. Maybe there’s an exhibitionist in you. Or it’s simply the adrenaline rush. Paired with Park Jimin. Whatever the reason, this is too compelling. Tempting. Besides, you’re with Park Jimin, aren’t you?

“Why the hell you’ve been here before this late anyway? Were you dealing drugs before RUN happened?” You sigh as you make your way toward the decaying wall. Jimin’s eyes sparkle at your agreement. He comes up behind you, placing his hand on your waist.

“Highschool. Taehyung was a bad influence.” He explains the reason.

“You knew each other that long?”

“Mhm. Lucky me.” Jimin chuckles before making you walk even closer to the wall. “Gonna lift you up, okay? Think you can make it? Jump to the other side?” Gives a reassuring squeeze to your waist. You nod in confidence. The wall isn’t that high. So, you grab the edge of the wall fairly easily once Jimin lifts you up. Putting your weight on your hands with the help of Jimin to climb up. You make sure to sit on the edge before jumping to other side. It’s a bit of a collide when your feet hit the floor. You can’t remember the last time you climbed a wall. You have. As a kid. This feels like you’re doing it after a lifetime. Your adult body hasn’t been trained to jump from walls. Yet, it isn’t something hard. Even easier for Jimin, it seems. Despite his suit pants and designer shoes he jumps to your side swiftly after you.

You eye him eagerly. Not believing you’re actually doing this. You’ve climbed over a wall to enter a closed park. And he is going to fuck you here. Excitement builds up inside your stomach. Replacing all the nervousness you felt earlier. It’s becoming pure desire slowly. Jimin smirks at your state. Nothing happened yet. Nothing besides the initiation of sex. But here you are trembling with anticipation. Jimin intensifies it by slowly walking to you. You stay rooted to your spot as he grabs your hips. “Sure, you wanna do this baby?” Drags his palms from your hips to your ass cheeks. Squeezes them gently. Repeatedly. Until a low moan erupts from you. You hum in answer with a nod. Chase his lips needily when he deny you of the pleasure. Steps away from you for much of your dismay. Takes your hand in his, however. “Let’s go then. Gonna make my pretty slut forget her name, hm?” Mumbles as he starts to walk forward. You just follow him. Too excited to even being able to talk.

He doesn’t take it much further. Only until you spot the first bench. Everything is quiet and still as Jimin takes a seat and makes you straddle him. Your dress bunching up. You put your hands on his shoulders. This is a very familiar place to you now. Park Jimin’s lap. You’ve seen how he looks at you when you make yourself home in his lap before. Not that it makes it older. No. Your tummy is fluttering violently as you nudge your nose against him. Your cunt clenching around nothing while he just soothingly rubs your sides. There’s no light in the park. Only the moon and the distance streetlamps give you the gentle light to make each other’s features. And that is quite enough to see the lust in his eyes. Droopy and heavy. Enough to see the sparkle.

The wind ruffles your hair and soothes your burning skin. It’s weird. To be in this position here. But at the same time, it’s relieving. You’re the one who pull him into a kiss first. Your patience is running thin with every passing second. Jimin willingly gives into you. Allowing you to have control of the kiss. Tongues dancing together. He guides you gently to adjust your hips to slot your aching cunt over his already hardened bulge. Then into a slow grinding. Just builds the tension slowly. Working you into a brainless frenzy within few minutes. You pick up the speed. Deepen the kiss. Make it messy and moan into his mouth. And lastly pull away breathless.

“Fuck!” Jimin pants. Immediately seek purchase in your neck and jaw. You align your head to give him what he’s looking for. Moaning his name when he starts to suck new purple marks into your skin. It’s a low and subtle moan. Yet in the chilly night air it sounds so loud that you involuntarily bite on his shoulder to muffle your noises. You know there’s no one around. Except for some security guard who’s probably nodding off somewhere. You’re safe for the most parts. But the thought that you’re out in the open. Under the sky. No four walls to keep your privacy and above all, the knowledge that there’s still a risk even though it’s low, riles you to no end. Gets you panties drenched in seconds. Brain blank with pure raw desire.

“J-Jimin…”

“Hm, princess?”

“Wanna suck you off.” You whine. Pressing your mouth into his ear. Peppering kisses to his cheek. Then jaw. Nuzzling your nose into his skin and drinking up his scent. He smells good. So good. Nothing unfamiliar. But something that always makes your arousal worsen. You bury your face in his neck. Jimin gives you a light spank. Then rubs the sting away. Groans when you attack his pulse point. Hips bucking up to yours.

“Fucking hell, baby, you want that. How bad do you want that?” Touches you everywhere he can reach. Your back. Ass. Thighs. You pull away to look at his face.

“So, fucking bad.” Give him the puppy eyes, unnecessarily. Jimin won’t say no. You know he can’t say no. He curses again. Nods. Gives you a searing kiss before you start to climb down from his lap. Taking your sweet time kneeling in front of him. Keeping your eyes locked with his. Slowly start to play the game where you have control. You start it by pressing soft kisses to his visible bulge over his pants. Gets him clenching his jaw hard. Hand coming to rest in your hair. Yet, he doesn’t control your movements.

“Baby, you sure, you can- fuck- isn’t your knees- holy fuck Lil.” You interrupt his question by rubbing your face on his bulge. You know it’s involuntary how his hips jerk up seeking more friction. And so do you know what he was about to ask. Because hell yes, your knees hurt on the gravel road. Another reckless decision that you’ll regret the coming morning. But in the end, you don’t care. Jimin sounds magical above you. So, you ignore the sting. Just proceed to undo his pants. Hurriedly. Want to tease him but are too afraid to bide your time. What if someone comes and you don’t get to do this here.

“I’m fine.” Mutter quickly as you pull down his pants. He raises his hips in aid. Just enough to free his throbbing cock. Leaking pre cum already. Jimin hisses the moment the cool air hits him. You take a moment to be in awe. Appreciate. Licking your lips in anticipation.

“Take it in baby, make a mess hm? Make it wet and nice so, I can slide into your tight hole easily.” Jimin tangles his fingers in your hair again. He is getting impatient. You like it when that happens to him. When he can’t control himself. He brings you closer to his twitching cock. Holds his length upright with his free hand. Waits with hooded eyes watching intently down at you. You give him another simple nod before wrapping your lips around him. You both moan at the same time. You fall into action right away. Swirling your tongue around the leaking tip and tasting the pre cum. Moaning and whimpering at the taste. Jimin keeps a tight grip on your hair. Not controlling. Just keeping it there. Hips thrusting up ever so gently. “Deeper baby. Go fucking deep. I know you can. Fucking hell, Lil.” Grunts and groans.

And you live for those sounds. Who are you to decline his demands. You do exactly as you’re asked for. Going deeper and deeper till he hits the back of your throat. “Yes, fuck. You’re so good princess. Your mouth feels like heaven.” Jimin praises you as you try to adjust to the size and control your gagging. Slowly start to bob your head up and down. Drooling over his thick cock and making the mess he asked you to make. Sounds of slurping fill the night air with occasional gags you try to control and Jimin’s heavenly moans. You pick up your speed with every bob, dragging your tongue along his soft shaft. Tracing the veins. Curling it around his tip every time you go there. Play with his balls. Putting Jimin into a haze.

“That’s it baby, shit, I’m close, Lil.” His grip on your hair tightens. He doesn’t have to voice that he’s close. You can feel his thighs tense. Feel his cock twitch in your throat. You moan around him in acknowledgment. Whole body filling with determination to pull him over the edge in a way he’d never forget. Determination to taste his cum on your tongue. You pick up your speed. Only that his words aren’t a phrase, it’s a warning.

Just as you think he’s about to shoot those hot seeds into the warmth of your mouth, he pulls your head up with your hair. Fast and rough that your scalp stings. His cock slips out of your mouth, connecting to your lips with a trail of saliva that breaks soon as he raises your head to look at him. You wince in pain. Jimin lets go of your hair immediately. His chest heaving. Face flushed red and mouth agape. Is fighting for breath. “Sorry, I’m sorry baby. Was so close.” He rolls his head back. Then look back at you. You look at him with questioning eyes. He reads you well. “No. Not like that Lil. Want to fuck you. C’mon baby.” Bends down to help you to your wobbly feet. “On my lap.” Taps his muscular thighs. You whine in complaint but relents. Reluctantly. Ready to straddle him again. But this time he stops you. Turns you around and pulls you onto his lap, smoothly.

“Jimin.” You gasp softly as he drags your body closer to him. Back pressed against his chest. Makes you bend your legs. Your shoe soles on his knees. Just like the day he fingered you outside that convenience store. You think that’s his plan when he plays with the hem of your dress.

“Want you to cum before me baby.” He breathes in your ear. Pulls your dress up, baring your lower half to the cool air. Spreads your legs. You moan at the sensation of cool air turning your hot slick covered panties cool. Which turns into a broken tangled noise in your throat when Jimin palms your cunt. Cupping your heat tightly. Drags a finger through your slit. Smears the wetness across your cute lacy panty, ruining it. You buck into his hand gracefully. “Feel good slut? Do you like this?” Jimin teases. Keeps his ministration going. You let your head fall back into his shoulder. Closing your eyes.

“Yes, Jimin. Need more.”

“You always need more minx.” He chuckles. Yet gives you what you want. Pushes your panty to the side. Touches your drenched folds bare. Gathering the wetness in his fingers to bring them to your aching clit. Drawing figure eights at an agonizingly slow pace. You know he plays. Know he’d tease you no matter what. Disregarding the place. Just how you like it. So, you allow him. Just moaning and crying for more. Dripping a river that you stain his pants. Till you can’t anymore and desperate like a bitch in heat. The warmth of his fingers and the contrast in the night air creating a heavenly friction on your heated cunt.

“Pleasepleaseplase, oh Jimin fuck, more.” You buck into his hands like you’ve lost your mind. No, scratch that. You have lost your mind. You want his hot, hard cock. Want him to fuck you senseless. Are so glad when he relents at your first beg. His hand disappear from your cunt instantly. Your panty falling back to its place. You whimper while he brings his own cock in his hand. Stroking slowly.

“More? You want more slut? Want me to fuck you on this bench? Out in the open?” Adjusts on you in his lap so, he can rub his hard cock on your slit. Over your panties. You mewl desperately. Wanting the damn fabric to vanish. Wanting to feel his cock on your bare pussy.

“Yes, yes, yes please. Want you to fuck me like the slut I am. Holy fuck Jimin.” You turn your head down to see his cock rubbing against your slick folds. Making you almost cry at the desperation.

“Oh, I’m gonna do that baby. Gonna fuck you till you scream. But don’t you want me to play then? You love it when I play.” Jimin taunts. In your ear. You don’t know what to say. Brain hazy and a mush. Words fail you as you only whimper in return. Jimin is enjoying this. You know he is. A law chuckle rumble in his chest as proof. He takes your whimper as a yes to whatever he wants to do. And so, he does what he wants. In a second, he pushes your panties to the side again. Nudges his cock head against your folds. You sigh in relief at the contact. But then instead of dragging his cock down toward your entrance he just lets the fabric fall into its place again. Making it keep his cock pressed between your nether lips, comfortably. Your clit pulse at the sensation. More and more arousals seeping out from your needy and empty hole. You can feel his cock throbs as well.

“Fuck, Jimin.” You thrust your hips upward slowly. Making his cock drag against your slit. Making Jimin groan.

“Oh, yes. Keep doing that.” He coaches while bringing his hand to hold his cock in place. You keep rocking your hips up and down to make him rub against you. And you have no idea when you stop moving and Jimin starts it. All you know is every nudge of his dick head against your throbbing clit makes you sob. Both of your essence creating a mess inside your lacy underwear. So, you have no idea how long you goes at it. Just rubbing his cock in your slit like horny rabbits. Not even the cold night air could calm your hot skin anymore. You’re long gone.

“That’s enough. J-Jimin. Please that’s enough. Inside me please.”

Jimin is long gone too. He doesn’t complain. Doesn’t tease. Nods. You make space between your bodies by raising your hips up. Enough for him place his hard cock against your entrance. And you sink down. Taking him easily at how wet you are after all the teasing. You both groan in relief after he is fully sheathed inside you.

“So tight baby. Sh-shit so tight.” Jimin wraps a tight arm around your torso. Gives you a minute to adjust. “Make space princess. Gonna rail your cute cunt.” Mumbles as he pulls the neckline of your dress down. Together with your bra. Making your nipples pebble. “Is this fine?” Asks as he gives a light slap to one of your tits. Makes it bounce. You nod violently.

“Yes. Please move. Can’t take it anymore.”

“Got you princess.” He soothes you. Delivers another slap to your other tit as well. Then finally gives you what you want. Strating as a slow but heavenly thrust. You make space for him the best you could. Allowing him to pick up his speed. He does. Slowly but surely building up his pace. Turning it into a brutal plunging to your hole. Drags the neckline of your dress the furthest he can. Keeping your soft mounds out in the open. Occasionally squeezing and slapping them in between his harsh movements. Brings his free hand to your clit. Shifting between pinching and circling.

“Fuck yes baby. So, fucking good for me. Look at you my pretty slut. Getting fucked out in the open. Imagine someone walking in baby. They’d see how much of a fucking slut you are for me baby. You’d like that, don’t you?” Jimin picks up the speed of circling your clit. You don’t think it’s possible to feel more aroused. More heated. Yet you do. His words shooting straight to your core. Making your clit pulse and walls clenching around him hard. Yet you fail to answer him again. Jimin groans at how tight you get. Presses a kiss to you ear at the same time his hand withdraws from your cunt. You don’t get to mourn the loss, however. His hand lands back on your clit harshly. Slap. Light. But enough to make your back arch in pleasurable pain.

“Fuck!” You choke. Jimin starts rubbing your clit again. Soothing the pain. “Asked you a question baby. Answer me.” Commands. “Would you like that?” Repeats.

“Yes. I do. Fu-fuck J-Jimin. Baby yes.” You sputter, not knowing what you’re talking about. “D-do that again, J-Jimin, holy fuck do that again. Please.” Cry out so hard it should be humiliating. You don’t bring yourself to care, however. And Jimin doesn’t think that way either.

“Fuckfuckfuck, you want me to slap your cunt baby? What a slut you are?” Grunts while he does as you ask. Another slap lands on your aching clit. Making you whimper but taking you dangerously close to the edge. “You’re so damn perfect Lil. Such a good slut for me.” Slap. “Take it like that.” Slap. “My pretty slut. Is this what you wanted?” Slap. His cock drills into your spasming walls relentlessly.

“That’s a good slut. Ah keep squeezing me baby. Keep dripping for me.” Lands another slap to your clit. And just like that everything dissolves into pleasure. Your eyes rolling back as you go rigid in his hold. Crying out his name repeatedly as your intense orgasm washes over you. “Jesus. Fucking hell Lil. God baby.” Jimin moans. Trying to fuck you through your orgasm. To keep thrusting inside your tight walls. “Oh fuck, too tight. Gonna cum baby. Gonna fucking- where do you─” Jimin’s words breaks into strangled noises as you try to relax and let him keep using your spent cunt to his pleasure. He is losing the precision of his rhythm. You know he’s too close. Clenching his jaw tightly and fingers digging into your flesh bruising. “Where d-do you want me Lil? Want me to pull out.” He hides his face in your neck. Teeth lightly scraping your shoulder.

“No. Please no. Inside. Jimin inside. Fill me up.” You wail. Feeling a feral desire to have him cum inside you. To feel the otherworldly sensation of his hot cum shooting inside your walls.

“Fuck. Yes, Lil. Again. Do it again baby. Beg for my cum.”

You jump into action without any hesitation. “Please baby please. Cum inside me, hm? Want it so bad. I need you to cum inside me. J-Jimin please.” And that’s all it take. Jimin’s teeth sink it your shoulder, muffling his cry of your name as he stills his hips. Pushing your hips down to press against his. You shiver at the sensation of rope after rope of hot seeds spilling inside you. It’s heavenly. Everything about Jimin is heavenly to you.

Jimin keeps his face hidden in your neck. His bruising grip on your body lightning but his hands never leaving. Instead, he starts to rub your tummy soothingly. You wait there in blissful silence. Finally starting to feel the cold air on your heated skin again. Senses coming back to your mind as you feel Jimin starting to soften inside you. It’s getting cold now. Yet he is warm against you. You both are covered in sweat. Sticky. Yet you can’t complain about him holding you so close. It’s so good. Jimin and this moment. Crazy. Unbelievable. But yet so good.

Jimin is the one who proceeds to make a move first. Raises his head from your shoulder. Breathing slowly calmed down. “You good baby?” Asks tenderly. You just nod. “Yeah? Can you move?” Again, you don’t give a verbal answer but raise your hips, so he slips out of you. Jimin fixes your underwear into its place. You wince at the drenched feeling. It’s only getting worse as his cum has started to seep out of you. You open your mouth lazily to complain when a sudden sound of dry leaf crunching reaches your ears. Undoubtedly footsteps. You both snap your heads to where the sound came from. Eyes wide and suddenly alerted. Your gazes falling on a white spot in the close distance. Moving. A torch. Patrolling guards.

You suck in a sharp breath. Your brain starts blaring alarms. Jimin curses aloud, immediately pulling your neckline up. Makes you stand up. He does the same. Starting to fix his pants. Your legs are a little shaky but there’s nothing you can do about it now. You look at Jimin with wide panicked eyes. The beam of light getting closer to you. You both look like shit. There’s a hard stain of both of your cum on Jimin’s pant. And you know that his cum will start to leak down through your thighs soon. There would be no more humiliation than getting caught in this state.

No. This can’t be happening right now.

“What would we do?” You whisper yell in your shaky voice. Jimin looks around you frantically. The light is coming closer and closer. You feel your heart beating in your throat. Faer turning your blood into water. You clutch Jimin’s hand for emotional support. “Jimin.” Call him frantically. It feels like you’re about to get hunted down by a predator. Jimin turns his attention to you. For a moment he looks like he doesn’t know what to do. Then it disappears. A small smirk displays on his mouth. You merge your eyebrows in confusion. Jimin’s smirk widens into an amused smile before he bends down. Plants a soft peck on your lips. Pulls away to stare at your scared eyes.

“We run princess.” States slowly. That’s the only warning you get before he takes your hand in his. Turns around and start running at the same time when you hear a loud gasp behind you. Beam of white light directly lands on you. Showing you the path ahead.

“Yah! What the hell are you doing here you little pricks? Stop right there!” A loud voice booms across. You wince in horror. But you’re already on the run. Through the lane you walked inside. Jimin’s hand clutching yours protectively. This is ridiculous. Just like how it was to drag Jimin inside a random bus. Who can complain though. You wanted to be reckless. Stupid. And this is exactly what you wanted. The rush of adrenaline as you run away from a yelling man. Wind sweeping past your face. You don’t even care about the wetness dripping down your legs. You let Jimin guide you. And you run.

A wide grin appears on your face.

……………………………

You had plans for J’s birthday. Or Jungkook did. A surprise. You were supposed to help him with planning. That’s not what’s happening apparently. It turns out that your surprise really wasn’t a surprise when J had called Jungkook. To tell him to stop planning her surprise birthday party. You had snorted so hard when a somber looking Jungkook broke the news to you. Had comforted him saying it was fine. And her reason was that Jin was giving you all this fancy dinner at a fancy restaurant where broken college students like you could never afford to go. So, of course, J would choose Jin’s invitation above all. You’re more than surprised at the fact that Jin actually had taken your words seriously. It’s good. Really.

Only that Jungkook isn’t happy. He huffs as you stand in the entryway to the lavish restaurant. Five fucking stars. You bump into his side. “Oh, c’mon Kook, no need to look like a grumpy old dad. This is good for your pocket.” You reason with him as you did all day long. Ever since the day J asked him not to throw a party for her. Jungkook clicks his tongue.

“She’s a bitch to turn me down.” He pouts hard. You know he isn’t truly mad at J. Maybe he’s feeling insecure. Jealous. You’re not sure.

“She didn’t turn you down. Besides, you’re here, aren’t you Jungkook. You should be happy she’s getting a fancy dinner.”

“I am.” He purses his lips. “This is ridiculous though. I mean J and Jin? Since when?” Jungkook turns to look at you with wide doe eyes. Lights of the restaurant reflect in them. You roll your eyes.

“You were so observant of me, but you didn’t know your best friend fucked Jin at the cottage? Way to go Jungkook.” Jungkook gasps loudly at your words. Now looking at you with his mouth hanging open too.

“And she didn’t tell me?” Questions with disbelief.

“Have you asked her? Oh, c’mon, let’s go inside, can we? Don’t act like a jealous boyfriend.” You hook your arm with his. Starting to walk forward, dragging him with you. He asks some more questions about how on earth he would’ve missed it. You ignore them. Smile to the pretty hostess. Tell her about your reservation and keep dragging Jungkook as you follow her lead. Your table is a corner one. Secluded. Private. Large. Enough to fit all of your friends. It’s mostly empty as you arrive, however. Seems you’re early. It’s just J, Jin, Yoongi, and your dear boss Hoseok there. They all raise their heads to acknowledge you as you approach the table. J gets to her feet immediately. She looks elated. Pretty. A little tiara on her head. And you’re definitely not surprised to see her hair pink. That’s just J.

You let go of Jungkook’s arm to hug J. “Happy birthday baby!” You squeal as she hug you back tightly, practically squeezing the life out of you.

“Thank you.” She pats your back. Slightly pulling away from you, grinning. Opens her mouth to tell you something only for it to turn into a surprised yelp. And she isn’t the only one who yelp. You yelp as well when something collides with your back, plunging you forward to plaster with a wide-eyed J. It takes your brain two good minutes to realize what collided with your back is Jungkook’s chest. He wraps his arms around you and holds you and J at the same time. Sandwiching you between himself and J.

“What the fuck?”

“Jungkook.” You and J exclaim at the same time. Annoyed and irritated.

“Happy birthday traitor. I do not wish to touch you at this time, so, this is how I’m gonna wish you a happy birthday. Using Noona as my shield.” Jungkook ignores your yelps as he states in a calm voice. You groan.

“For fucks sake Jungkook!” J whine, trying to wriggle herself free. Making it worse for you. Jungkook doesn’t even budge. You and J both start to complain. Halfway starting to giggle as well.

“Are you serious Kid.” Jin butts in too. Jungkook turns his head to throw a glare at the older guy.

“Yes, very. What’s your problem?” He asks Jin in a low growl as you do your best to free your hands at least. Until you realize it’s a lost game and give up. Accept your fate. Just look over J’s shoulder to wave at your boss. Who looks frustrated sitting next to a bored Yoongi.

“What is this? Everyone has a date?” Yoongi is the one who speaks first though. There’s no proper greetings will be exchanged between you, considering Jungkook would never let go you or J. J is still struggling while Jungkook is at a staring competition with Jin. Who looks taken aback. “And you didn’t tell me to bring one?” Yoongi gives an incredulous look to Hoseok. He rolls his eyes.

“As if you have someone to bring.”

“Of course, I do.” Yoongi gasps. Which Hoseok completely ignored as he pays his attention to you.

“Would you mind letting my assistant go Jungkook. I want her alive please.” Talks to Jungkook instead. In vain. Jungkook dramatically explains how he’s not going to allow these men steal all of his friends. You are really making up your mind to eat your dinner while being squeezed between two people when a voice behind you saves you.

“Okay, what did we miss? Why’s Jungkook trying to kill those two?” You recognize Yoona’s voice. Jungkook’s grip loosens on you as he tries to turn around. Both you and J sigh in relief. You immediately step away from Jungkook. Not wanting to risk it again. Nearly turn around to face Yoona and Namjoon when Yoongi lets out a groan.

“See, you prick, everyone has a date!” He levels his cousin with a pointed look. You catch a faint glimpse of Hoseok flipping Yoongi off as you turn around. Grinning brightly. Eyes landing firstly on Namjoon who is crushing J in a tight hug. Then your eyes dart to someone who has arrived now. Taehyung and Seoyeon. Taehyung in his always cheery mood as he shows Namjoon away to take his chance to hug J. You chuckle softly to yourself before letting your eyes wander behind Seoyeon who stands beside Taehyung. And like that, the wide grin that has been adorning your face drops to the floor. Instantly. Not even a sign of a faint smile is left on your face.

Blonde man is the first one who you notice. He should’ve been a reason to even deepen your grin. That would’ve been the case, if it isn’t for the woman, you notice next. Casually leaning against Park Jimin. Her arm hooked with his. A faint smile on her lips. Glowing. Elegant.

You didn’t know Liya was coming.

How come no one has warned you. You feel your heart sink to the pit of your stomach. Creating a void in its place. A strange sensation clouding over you. You can’t help but turn around to look at Hoseok. In question. You don’t know why you expect he should’ve been the one to warn you. It’s not his responsibility. If anything, it’s Jimin’s. Yet Hoseok gives you a surprised look. Shrugs. Shakes his head. That tells you one thing. He didn’t know that either. So, you turn back to newly arrived guests. Jin is now on his feet greeting everyone. Your eyes land on Jimin. He looks abashed. As if he would like to be anywhere else than here. Troubled. Your eyes meet for a second. Only for a second as you turn your gaze away immediately.

This is not good at all. You really don’t wish to be in the vicinity of Kim Liya at all. With people or alone. But above all, you don’t wish to be in her presence when she’s with Park Jimin. Her boyfriend. The man who fucks you behind her back. How ridiculous. You have no right to feel any remorse at this moment. Yet here you are. You hate to be in the same room as Kim Liya when you feel your insides twist uncomfortably at the sight of them. A feeling you can’t quite explain. It’s uncomfortable. Makes you want to run away. That shitty feeling only intensifies as you assess Liya. The way she looks. You think it’s amazing how she looks that gorgeous when you and she are the same person.

Jungkook snaps you out of your misery by placing his hand on the small of your back. “Noona? You, okay?” Mumbles. You nod. Forcing yourself to snap your eyes away from Liya. Away from Jimin. To pull on a smile. You can’t appear moody all of a sudden. It’s true that most people here know about your pathetic situation. Yet, there are people who don’t, and you wish to keep it that way. Besides, you need to act indifferent in front of Liya. So, you just allow Jungkook to guide you towards a chair. Next to Hoseok. And you’re so grateful for Taehyung when he beats Liya to the chair right across from you. It would’ve been fun to look at her face directly throughout the entire night.

You don’t want that at all. Yet, the thing is though, it’s quite hard to keep your gaze focused on anywhere else than the said woman. Or the man sitting next to her. You feel irritated. Partially at yourself for feeling this way. Partially at Jimin for what reasons, you don’t know. It’s such a shame how a great night turns into a full-on torture. The food must taste heavenly considering how your friends react after your table is full of a feast. You don’t feel that, however. Every bite you take turns into ashes in your mouth. You find it impossible to keep up with the conversation that is flowing around.

You’re getting heavily distracted every time you catch a glimpse of Jimin. He sits on the other side of the table from you. To your left. You can see him in your peripherals easily. Not to mention the amount of time you turn your head too. He locks his eyes with you more than hundred times. Something clearly written on them. The gut twisting, irritated feeling you’re getting, however, makes you turn away immediately without trying to read him. You’re mad at him. He should’ve texted you. Told you that Liya would be here. You don’t know what you’d have done if you knew but it feels like Jimin ignored you.

And to add more to your irritation, you hate the way Hoseok, Jin, and Taehyung glance at you occasionally. As if they’re afraid you’re a bomb about to explode. Tonight is going to be great for you.

“Noona, you want to leave?” Jungkook whispers in your ear. You bite back your annoyance as you pay your attention to the man sitting with you instead of the man sitting with another woman. No, you’re the other woman. Jimin is with his woman.

Fuck you need to stop.

You can’t stop.

“No, Kook, I’m fine.” You stab at your food as your eyes wander back to the couple back again. Liya laughs at something Seoyeon tells her. Damn, she looks so fine even when she cracks up with laughter. Then she turns to Jimin. Probably to recite the same story. Her sweet lips grazed over Jimin’s ear. It hurts your hand how hard you clench your fingers around your fork. You want to scream. Pull Liya away from Jimin. What the fuck? Why would you want to do that now? You know who you are. Know your place. You’re the secret. You have no right to feel this way. This is immature of you, really.

You need to put your shit together.

Only if it’s that easy. Because it isn’t. Entire dinner feels like a dream to you. You offer so many fake smiles and laughs. Opinions about things you have no single idea of. And by the time you’re finished with dinner and Hoseok is obviously doing a shitty job at conversing with you, you want nothing but to disappear. Jungkook has his hand on your thigh. Talking with Namjoon.

“Hey guys!” J suddenly perks in. Has been mumbling with Jin all the time. Everyone turns their head to look at her. You think she’s about to deliver a thank you speech. Good. Since you can leave after that. “Want to hit a club? I don’t want the night to end.” And like that all your eager hopes are crumbled into dust. J looks elated. Excited. Is giddy like a schoolgirl. Maybe you can excuse yourself. The table breaks into a messy conversation where everyone is trying to decide what to do next.

“We can leave if you want to. I’m fine.” You turn your head toward Jungkook to find him giving you a soft smile. You sigh heavily. If you want to leave, then Jungkook will follow you. Which seems very unfair to you. He shouldn’t be missing out on his best friend’s birthday because you feel shitty to see your secret fuck buddy lives his life with his girlfriend. What is wrong with you? Maybe hitting a club would be good for you. A drink or two would help you to clear your mind. So, you shake your head. Let Jungkook knows that you don’t want to miss out at all. And apparently, everybody else on the table decide the same thing.

………………………

J chose a club that is within walking distance of the restaurant where you had dinner. And just five minutes into clubbing, you’re regretting it greatly. You shouldn’t have come. Then you wouldn't have to keep looking at Jimin and Liya. You sit in your booth. Eyes boring holes on to Liya’s head. She’s standing near the bar with Seoyeon. Jimin being nowhere in your sight. That’s really good. A short lapse of relaxation for you. Liya has been clinging to Jimin like a leech. And how your blood was boiling.

Now though, since she is alone and the man in question who makes you feel this irritated, has disappeared you need to take your eyes away from Liya. Yet you find yourself unable to do that. You annoyingly take into notice about every single detail about Kim Liya. The way her hair is longer than yours. The way she has applied her makeup. Yours is bold. Maybe you shouldn’t have done a bold look. Her dress. It’s fancy and long. Doesn’t quite fit for a club but she wasn’t prepared to come here. It was an addition to the plans. The way she dressed perfectly suits for a fancy ass restaurant. You look at your dress. Short. Black. Flared. Strappy. It definitely suits a club. Damn, you shouldn’t have worn this to the restaurant. Jungkook had whistled when he saw you. Had told you that you are the human version of hot. But maybe he lied.

“Careful now, I might think you’re jealous of her.” A sudden voice next to your ear gets you jump on your seat. A loud curse spilling through your mouth as you turn to catch the intruder. Frowning. Your eyes find a smug looking Yoongi. Gracefully sitting next to you in your booth. Hell, you haven’t even noticed him arriving.

“What the fuck, Yoongi.” You huff in annoyance. Not paying attention to his earlier words.

“Sorry for startling but you need to learn how to do poker face better than that, woman. Jesus, you’re burning with jealousy.” Yoongi chuckles softly. Leaning against the back rest. Crosses his arms. You deepen your frown.

“Sorry, what? What are you talking about?” Yoongi doesn’t answer but point his finger at Liya. You follow his finger. Scoff. “Really? You’re telling me that I’m jealous of my own sister? Please Yoongi, I’d rather be jealous over that poor woman over there.” You point at a woman who’s evidently on a fight with a man who you assume to be her boyfriend. It looks steamy. Probably leading to a breakup. Yoongi laughs softly. Looks at where you are pointing at briefly.

“Well, that’s not your face and your actions say. You’ve been ogling your sister and her boyfriend for the entire night. And glaring like you want to murder them with just your eyes.” That’s not true. You want to laugh. Yoongi doesn’t let you. “And we’re at a club Li Li, there’s plenty of fun things happening but here you are, staring at your sister like she’s offended you in hundred ways possible.” Shows you a gummy smile. In another time, you would’ve found that adorable. Now, though, you’re annoyed at this man. What is he even talking about. Jealous? That’s not the case at all. You’re not jealous. Right? It’s just that Liya makes you uneasy.

“Oh, c’mon, why would I be jealous of her now? Business? I don’t give a fuck about business Yoongi. Success? I─”

“Maybe, him.” Yoongi cuts you off by pointing at someone else. This time as you follow his lead you meet with the man who’s been not around for a while. Park Jimin. With Taehyung. And his eyes are already at you. You don’t know how long he’s been there. Eyeing you. You’ve caught plenty of times Jimin staring at you. He looks like he’s having the worst night of his life. You haven’t seen him smile let alone laugh at least one time tonight. He’s tense. For some reason, that realization makes you relieved in a sickening way. You really feel relaxed. Boring into Jimin’s eyes from such a distance between you. How odd.

You get so enthralled by Jimin’s eyes that you almost forget that Yoongi had initiated something. Had pointed the cause of your jealousy- which you’re not- is Park Jimin. Which is quite dangerous. And you only come back to the earth and to your senses when you catch the sight of the woman who waltz toward him. Delicately. Her long hair flowing around her. Like that, insufferable, gut-wrenching sensation consume you whole again. You click your tongue in annoyance. “You should think about what you’re talking about Yoongi. That’s really outrageous of you. Accusing me of─”

“I’m not accusing Li. My stupid cousin doesn’t know how to keep secrets from me.”

You snap your head toward Yoongi so hard that you’re certain you break your neck. “What? What the hell? Hoseok told you?” Your eyes instantly start to roam over the club for any hint of your so-called stupid boss. “I’m gonna fucking cut him into little pieces and…” You grit your teeth hard. Hard enough that your jaw hurts.

“It’s not really his fault. I know how to make him talk.” Yoongi provides excuses for his cousin. You scoff.

“Oh, yeah? So, then it’s your fault?” You turn back to him. Shoot a glare. “What’s your point then Yoongi? Now, what to do you want from this shit?” You’re thoroughly annoyed, you can actually strangle this man to death. Yoongi’s eyes widen as he shakes his head slightly.

“Nothing. I want nothing. Why would I want anything from you when I barely even know you?”

“Then what’s the point of bringing this on? Why would you press Hoseok to tell you something that won’t affect you at all?”

“Because I love making my cousin suffer and tea is tea Li.” Yoongi shrugs. Nonchalant. The nerve of this guy to bring up this conversation like this when your brain is frying.

“Good. No this is great. Let’s start a fucking club with all the people who know I’m fucking my sister’s boyfriend and─ fuck, who doesn’t know it at this rate? Do you think Namjoon knows too? Yoona? J? Fucking hell, I think Liya might know too”

“I don’t think so.” Yoongi turns back to the two people in the far corner of the club. You force yourself not to follow his line of vision. “I’m the only one who heard it from Hobi. I can assure you he’s good at keeping secrets. It’s just he’s not good at keeping them from me. I know the guy too damn well.”

“He told Jungkook too.”

“He didn’t. He just told him you’re with Jimin and Jungkook put two and two together.”  You throw a skeptical glance at Yoongi. He knows that too? Is he and Hoseok just cousins or are they fucking married? He’s right, though. You know that’s what happened. A heavy sigh leaves your mouth. You don’t know what you’re doing. Feeling riled up. Sitting in a club. Having this conversation with Yoongi out of all the people. What’s wrong with your life. “And if you are planning on keeping it a secret, you shouldn’t visibly show how jealousy you are.” Yoongi adds. You groan loudly.

“I’m not jealous Yoongi… I just─” You don’t know what to say. It’s hard to explain what you’re feeling. And Yoongi makes it even harder with the small smirk he gives you. You try to rake your brain for suitable words. Feeling frustrated. That’s when Jungkook’s voice interrupts you. You turn your head upward to look at him. Grateful for the distraction. Even more appreciative when he shows you a pack of cigarettes.

“Wanna have a smoke Noona?” He shakes the pack. You jump to your feet without a beat of hesitation. “You wanna join too, Hyung?” Jungkook asks Yoongi too. For your pleasure he shakes his head. Says that he’s not in a mood. Gives you a soft smile. Enough to melt your irritation slightly. So, you return the smile before you sigh.

“Well, welcome to the family, Yoongi.” Mumble before you allow Jungkook to lead you away. Explaining to him that Yoongi knows too. Yoongi just chuckle as he waves you off.

……………………….

There’s a smoking area inside the club. But of course, Jungkook brought you to the dark alleyway behind the club. Having CEO friends’ privileges. You’re glad though. It’s refreshing to be outside. Away from the blaring music of the club and Liya’s hovering presence. You lean against the wall next to Jungkook. Your head resting against his upper arm as you share a one cigarette as always.

“You’re on edge Noona.” Jungkook blows out a puff of smoke. Brings the cigarette to your lips. You don’t raise your head as you wrap your lips around it.

“I don’t like Liya. “Simply state a half truth.

“Yeah? Why is that? Because you feel guilty?”

“Maybe yeah. I don’t know. It can be that. She makes me nervous.” You’re not being completely honest or dishonest. Because you don’t know what’s the uncomfortable feeling for yourself either. It’s not jealousy, though. It’s not. Why would you be jealous? Then it should be the guilt. Not being able to look her in the eye. Jungkook sighs. Not a heavy one. Takes another puff.

“Then you don’t have to do this Noona. You can always stop it.” Says as he exhale. You chuckle. Get comfortable in your position.

“It’s not easy as it sounds.”

“Why not? If it’s just sex, you can always just end it. He’s not the only man alive. I’m pretty sure, there’s plenty of men who can make you cum better than Park Jimin.”

That’s exactly the thing. It’s not just sex now, is it? Only if you can find words to describe it the way you want. “It is sex, yes but I’m enjoying it Kookie. It’s not about good orgasms. He kinda make me feel fucking special.” You fix your eyes upon a distant streetlamp. You can feel Jungkook tenses as you speak. “You see, I’m not a person who had the best kind of life. It’s not bad either but I’m from a middle-class family. I had everything and had nothing at the same time. You know like my parents brought me a phone, but I had to budge them for weeks kind of life.” You tug from Jungkook’s hand for another puff before continuing. “My sister was the rebel. She didn’t want to get a degree or work hard for her life. So, she got married early because she thought college is a waste of money. And my parents thought it was their fault. They were disappointed, heartbroken, and there was I, who thought it was now my duty to fulfil the things my sister couldn’t. I know it’s silly, but I did.”

You finally raise your head to look at Jungkook’s face. He’s expressionless. Still tense. Yet is listening to you intensely. You take that as your cue to keep going. “I’m not saying my life is bad. But it isn’t good either. I feel like I never had a life. I have a best friend who loves me, a good family, I’ve dated, I drink, smoke, and hell I go to clubs. But I don’t think I have ever enjoyed anything. I always wanted to balance it out, control it. It was uh…” You avert your gaze to your heel clad feet. “Dull.” Start playing with an old cigarette but someone had left there. “But this─” Raise your head to look around you. Gesture to your surroundings with your both hands. “Is exhilarating Jungkook. I never had a friend group. It was just Key and me. Now look at me, I’m surrounded by people whom I never thought would take notice of me at all. I’m in love with this life. And Jimin is a huge part of it. I know it’s very wrong and I’m a bitch, but I think… uh… maybe I love the thrill.” You perk up. Suddenly feeling like you’ve found an answer for the math problem you’ve been stuck at for hours. “Yes. I love the fucking thrill. Doing something dangerous. I feel like living.” Look at Jungkook expectantly. He still looks emotionless.

“So, that’s it. You’re ruining yourself because you love the thrill?” Questions with a strained voice. It’s weird. You blink at his face. “Then will you end it if you’ve ever found something more thrilling than that? If you found someone who makes you feel special, better than him?” Adds. You become motionless. Will you? You honestly don’t know. Will there be anyone who will do it better than Park Jimin?

“I… will…” You shrug. Jungkook is waiting for your answer. “But now since I only got nearly a year I think, maybe I can live this life and then leave it behind.” You rumble. Starting to become uncertain again.

“So, you would leave?”

“What else I can do?”

“You were panicked and so worried about leaving before.”

“I still am Jungkook. It hurts to think that I have an end date to this life. And it’s not only about Jimin. It’s about everything. I mean I don’t think I’d ever find a hot, tattooed, pierced, buff housemate, who’ll share his cigarette with me.” You nudge him with your shoulder. That finally got Jungkook’s stony face to crack. A small chuckle escapes his pink lips. “But a year is a long time apparently, and I’m trying to live this life to the fullest. And I’d like to pretend what I’m doing is fine.” He nods finally. Brings the cigarette back to your mouth.

“But will you consider it if I ask you to stay in the end. Like you did with Jimin? Am I important enough for you to consider it?” He watches how you suctioned your cheeks to take a long drag. You stop it midway through to look at him surprised. He looks serious back again. You don’t know an answer to it. Jungkook isn’t Park Jimin. Yet he is very important to you. He is your comfort person. You’ve become really attached to each other. You take the cigarette to your hand. Your expression softening.

“Course you are important. Very.” You offer him a soft smile as his entire demeanor changed into something bright. His Bambi eyes sparkling. He bites on to his bottom lip to contain the smile that is threatening to spill. And you feel relaxed too. Your earlier discomfort disappears. See, Jungkook is your comfort person.  Jungkook opens his mouth to say something, but his moment get ruined as the back door opens suddenly.

You both turn your head toward the newcomer. You half expecting to see Hoseok or Taehyung for no reason. But your smile falters at the not expected sight of Jimin there. The relaxed feeling you felt pops out like a bubble. That uncomfortable feeling settles back inside you. You know you’re not being reasonable, but you really feel mad at him. Childish. Jimin’s eyes flicker between you and Jungkook. You think he looks pissed for a moment. Then he changes it into a calm one quickly. He can’t be mad at you. Despite his words saying he’d be jealous, and you’d be his, he can’t hold the same words toward Jungkook. You live with Jungkook. Just like Jimin lives with Liya. And you have no reason to feel any resentment toward Jimin or Liya. You do, however.

“What are you doing?” Jimin’s voice sounds strange to you at this moment. He looks like he’s battling an invisible battle. Trying hard to keep a fire from blaring. You hold the cigarette in front of his face. Forcing yourself to act normal because being mad at Jimin is embarrassing.

“Smoking. What does it look like?” Fuck, you fail miserably. Resentment and malice pour off with each word. Jimin clenches his jaw. His calm exterior starting to break down.

“Can we talk?” Yet he’s doing it better than you. Manages to ask it in a normal voice. Not without gritting his teeth or sounding bitter.

“I don’t want to.” You’re making it worse. You need to act like an adult. Not a jealousy bitch- because you’re not. What’s wrong with you. You take a step back, away from Jimin and press yourself against Jungkook. And finally, Jimin fails too. You visibly notice the fire inside his eyes.

“I’m not asking.” Jimin takes a step toward you. Your heart skips a beat. He looks dangerous. A wild combination for angelic looking Park Jimin. You love that look. But you’re mad at him. You open your mouth to ask him to fuck off. Jungkook beats you up to it, however.

“I think she said she doesn’t want to Mr. Park.” Jungkook grabs your wrist instantly. Pulls you back at the same time he steps between you and Jimin. Everything falls into a deafening silence. Everything goes still. So quiet that you can hear the music very clearly now. Your irritation replaces with a sudden panic as Jimin looks dead in the eye with Jungkook. Jungkook does the same. They both look like two bulls ready to fight till death. Waiting for starting signal. Even the sight is enough for your mouth to go dry. This is not good. You step away from Jungkook abruptly. Drop the cigarette in your hand to the floor. Step on it.

“I need to use the bathroom.” Walk around the two men who stop their glaring competition to pay you attention. “I’m fine Kookie.” Reassure Jungkook before opening the door and disappear behind it, knowing very well that Jimin would follow you.

……………………………..

He does. You only get to make it halfway toward the bathrooms when you are yanked back with a rough grip on your upper arm.

“You’re moving out.” Jimin shouts as he turns your around. You feel a ringing in your ears. All the frustration and anger you've felt the whole night explode at his tone. Fucking authoritative. Demanding. As if he owns you.

“Like hell I would.”

“Who the hell does he think he is?”

“I don’t know. Maybe my friend. Let me go, Park.” You try to wriggle your arm free. Clenching your teeth. You’re standing in a corridor leading to the bathrooms. Mostly empty save for the two people who walk past you without giving a fuck about what’s happening.

“Why the fuck are you mad at me, Lil?”  He pulls you toward him. Eyes boring into yours. Hell, what’s your answer now?

“Why the fuck are you mad at me?” So, you answer him with a question.

“Because I’m fucking jealous.” Jimin’s grip tighten so hard that you whimper. He brings his face closer to you. So close that his nose nudges against yours. “I’m fucking jealous Spring Roll.” He lowers his voice. It turns into a grumble. You blink at him in surprise. Reveling in his warmth. Can smell alcohol on him. Your heart starts to hammer inside your chest. He got you speechless. Dumfounded. Park Jimin is always annoying when he is honest. When he admits. Oh, how freely he admits that. “I told you I’d be jealous Lil. Told you I’m gonna be fucking annoying to you. Told you I won’t be sharing you, in any. Fucking. Way.” He manhandles you roughly. You don’t even realize what’s happening until you’re pressed against a wall. Jimin’s bruising grip never leaves you. He brushes his lips over yours.

“I’m mad because I couldn’t be the one to sit next to you whole night. I’m mad because Jungkook had his hands on you every fucking time I look at you. And you didn’t even look at me. I’m fucking mad you stepped toward Jungkook instead of me Lil.” His hand finally leaves your arm. Just to cup your cheeks. “Don’t do that, dammit.” You suck in a sharp breath when presses his lips hard against you. It’s fleeting kiss. Bites your lower lip gently. Pulls away too fast for your liking. Making you fruitlessly chase his lips. Wanting more. He doesn’t give it you. “Don’t fucking chose someone else.” Presses his lips hard to yours again. “I understand that you live with him and he’s a good friend and all that shit but don’t walk to him.” Another kiss. Then another. Starts pressing fleeting kisses to your lips like he’s gone mad. “You’re mine, princess. You agreed to be mine. And fuck baby, you look so damn good.” Lets go of your cheeks too. “You have no idea how bad I wanted to rip this damn dress off you.”

Wraps his arms around your body and finally gives into a deeper kiss. Rough and bruising. Tongue pushing past your lips harshly. Shifts between nibbling and sucking. Gets you breathless. You pull away from him with a struggle. Jimin doesn’t let you go far, however. Presses his lips against you the moment you suck in a short breath. Not enough. Your lungs are screaming for oxygen. At the same time, you can feel the fire inside your stomach. Making you curl your hands around his neck. Pull from his hair as you kiss him tenderly. His soft lips work seamlessly against yours. Slotting perfectly. He drags his tongue across your teeth as you press your body tight against him. Wanting more friction. Arousal is already starting to seep out and your nipples grazing your bra uncomfortably. You groan into the kiss. This time managing to escape his lips and panting for much needed air.

Jimin uses the opportunity to bury his face in your neck. His arms drops to your ass. Pushes you harder onto him. Peppers your neck with wet kisses. Trailing them toward your shoulder and teething at the thing strap of your dress. You let your head fall back, hitting the wall behind you. How fascinating it is that your moods are changing faster than thunder. Gone is the irritation and anger you felt mere seconds ago. Desire replacing it. And you’re at ease all of a sudden in Jimin’s arms. You don’t worry about finding the reasons for your irritation anymore. What does it matter, anyway? Despite everything, Jimin is here, isn’t he? Despite everything he was mad and jealous that he couldn’t be with you. He wanted to talk. He followed you. That is just enough for you. Weird how that makes you content but all that matters is the feeling. So, you give into that feeling willingly. The comfort of Park Jimin.

Jimin’s hands wander over your ass cheeks. Squeezing your soft flesh while he grinds his hips onto your body. Letting you feel the evidence of his arousal. Hard against your stomach.

“Jimin..” You call him breathlessly. He drops one of his hands from your ass to your thigh in response to that. Hikes up your dress as he rubs and touches your sensitive skin. Hooks his hand under your thigh to lift your leg up. Place it on his waist. Grinds hard.

“Are you wet?” Jimin purrs in your ear. You stare at him with lustful eyes. Nod. “Yeah? Shall I check?” Doesn’t wait for you to finish nodding as his hands sneak under your dress. Two fingers dragging along your slit. Over your panties. Hums in approval at the wetness he finds there. “Shit baby, you’re always fucking wet for me.”

“Yes, like you’re always hard for me.” You make your point by bucking your hips onto him. You both chuckle in unison. Oh, you’re not mad at all. It’s all past. Your laughter dies down when Jimin presses his finger to your clit. You moan softly before pulling him into another kiss. Starting to fall back into a senseless state. Head spinning. Everything around you dissipate in that state. Leaving you and Jimin alone in your own world. His hand working over your wet slit relentlessly as you grind against his hard cock. It’s just you two. Nothing else. His lips on yours. You close your eyes to delve deeper into that. Clinging to Jimin for your dear life. Deeper and deeper. Losing your minds on each other─

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

You snap your eyes open at the sound that suddenly blares over the loud music. Lips still on Jimin’s. He is the one who pulls away first. Both of your heads turn to catch the person who interrupted you. Breathless. It takes your lust induced brain a split second to realize what’s happening. When it does, Jimin has already dropped your leg down to the floor. Withdraws from you so fast as if you’ve burnt him. His eyes wide. Skin turns pale. You’re sure you don’t look anything different. Your stomach sinks as you feel your legs buckle.

“L-Liya!” Jimin stutters uncomfortably. Painfully rooted to his spot and gaping at Liya like she’s a ghost. Liya takes a step forward. Then stops. You watch stupidly how her face changes from disbelief to anger in a fractured second. She opens and closes her mouth like a fish. Says nothing as she turns around. Storms away. “Fuck! No, Liya!” Jimin calls after her in vain as Liya disappears from your view in a heartbeat.

To you it feels like things are happening in slow motion as Jimin turns to look at you. Hastily. It’s a quick glance. Then he breaks into a sprint. Following Liya. Disappearing after her. Leaving you to stand in a corridor leading to a bathroom. Alone. He follows Liya. Like he should.

……………………………

You stand there, rooted to the floor, with no idea how long it has been. Your heart is beating in your ears. Your sight blur. Your head is spinning. To say you’re shocked is an understatement. It’s a mixture of shock, guilt, fear, shame, and sadness. And above all you feel utterly stupid.

You can’t believe that you’ve allowed yourself to do something stupid like that. To get carried away. You were in an open corridor for fucks sake. How could you have let that happen. You steady yourself by pressing your hand to the wall. Your legs are shaking badly. Your mind races, replaying everything you could have done to avoid this. But every stupid mistake you made led you to this. Now you’re standing here while people walk past you here and there. You can’t stay here forever, though. You can’t hide away. It happened. It’s already too late. The very thing you feared the most has happened.

Now there’s no good that will come by just standing here. You take a step forward. Slow. Feeling like your feet are suddenly heavy. You can’t move them freely. Then another. One by one. Yet it doesn’t really feel like moving to you. It’s like your body is leaving without you. And with every step you take, your heart comes close to exploding. You turns around the corner to meet with the flashing lights. People going on with their happy, exciting night. Nothing has changed. Everyone is oblivion to the inner turmoil you’re feeling. World is going on normally. You can’t really hear any sounds, though. Can’t see anyone else either. It’s all blurry and sounds are hazy. Still, you manage to drag your heavy feet forward. Slowly nearing your booth.

You don’t know what you expect really. To have Jimin already gone or waiting for you. But when your eyes finally land on the figures next to your booth you realize that it would’ve been much better if they’ve left. It would have caused you a great heart ache to think, Jimin once again chose Liya, but that would’ve been much better than this. You can’t face them. Absolutely cannot. So, you freeze. Just few feet away from them. Everybody is there. Liya is standing near Jimin. You can’t hear what they are talking about. But you know Liya is yelling at Jimin, who’s trying to calm her down, if his raised palms are anything to go by. Liya points a finger at him. Says something animatedly. Looks like she’s on the verge of crying. You feel your heart twist.

You can’t walk there like nothing happened. You’re oh so fucking ashamed. You’re the one who caused this ruckus. Their relationship is crumbling and you’re the reason. How can you walk there like nothing happened. You need to hide away. Wait till they leave. That’s exactly what you’re trying to do. Nearly succeeds at it when Liya’s eyes averts away from Jimin. Landing directly on you. Jimin turns around to check what she’s looking at too. So, does everybody else. And it all happen so fast. You don’t even get to take a proper breath before Liya strides past Jimin. He tries to catch her in vain. She’s too quick. Is standing before you with a burning glare. Her glorious face twisted ugly in anger. She only says two words.

“You bitch!”

And her palm hits your cheek with a loud smack.

For the initial shocking period, you feel nothing. Then there comes the sting. And the loud music that had been a white noise in your ears comes all clear to you. Sounds of people talking becomes all clear and noisy. You turn your head back to Liya. Slowly. Eyes starting to prick with tears. Due to the embarrassment. The shame. Humiliation. Liya has slapped you in a club full of people. You don’t dare to look around you, but you know people are watching. Seeing. Talking. Mumbling. This is drama here. You want the floor to split up and swallow you as a whole.

Unfortunately, though, that isn’t an option for you. Liya yells something else that doesn’t reach your ears as you look back at her. Then she nearly lunges at you again. This time though, Jimin drags her back. His hands tightly wraps around her to keep her in place.

“Enough Liya. That’s fucking enough!” His voice booms through the hundreds of other noises. A pair of hands do the same to you as well. Drags your limp body a step back.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You recognize that voice to be Jungkook’s. Then as you look down you recognize his tattooed hand as well. Encircled around your middle. You feel like dreaming. Liya tries to escape Jimin’s grip. Ready to attack you like a sow who lost her cub. What a slip in Liya’s demeanor. She always stays calm. At least in front of people. In your eyes she always looked matured. The power woman. CEO. Now, however, she is going berserk. Well, she just found her boyfriend’s hand inside another woman’s dress. Fair. You don’t even realize that you’re surrounded by people. Seoyeon reaches Liya as well. Trying to aid Jimin. You don’t hear what they are saying. You only catch glimpses of your friends. Saying million different things. It all comes down to you one minute and then vanishes.

“Have it with your motherfucking boyfriend crazy woman.”  Jungkook bellows from behind you. Still keeping you close. You don’t know to whom or for what he’s replying. Your hazy eyes catch J reaching you.

“Are you okay?”

Your ears ring.

“Dude, we can’t do this here.”

Your ears ring.

“Press is going to have field day.”

Nothing.

“Take her away you idiot.”

Rings. Nothing.

“Calm down please.”

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

“We’re leaving Noona.” Nothing. A shake. “Hey! Baby, let’s go.” You zero your eyes on Jungkook. “Let’s leave, okay?” You nod. Without knowing what you’re agreeing to. Your eyes wander back to Jimin as Jungkook starts to half walk and half drag you away. Liya is calmer now. Jimin has his arms around her still. Around her. Not you. Someone else is taking you away. Jimin is staying with Liya. Like he should. Everything is a mess. Utter chaos. You finally notice how troubled and furious everyone look. You caused that.

You ruined everything. J’s birthday. This night. Liya. Maybe your friendship with these people. So much more than you can even fathom. You ruined it all. Above all, you ruined you and Jimin.

Fuck, you ruined it. All because you were so stupid. Wasn’t thinking straight. You try to keep your eyes on him as long as you can. And at the right time Jungkook drags you through a door, Jimin lifts his head to look at you. Eyes emotionless.

I just can’t go and break up with Liya.

He made it clear from the first day. If it ever come to this kind of situation, he’s going to choose Liya. Because you are the other woman. See, you’ve done it. Even before it starts properly, you have ruined it.

That’s what happened.

RUINED and DESTROYED.

..............................................................................................................................

a/n- Leave a note if you enjoyed this one!

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Taglist - @chimmy-licious @graydolan12 @smoljimjim @likemeforme @sugas-baby-girl @canarystwin @jkayy @floboo6 @sunshinenmidnight @fiddlebiddls @unlikelycheesecakeenthusiast @mar-lo-pap @angelicsmilesworld @jimincrystal @datspjm @shakes0peare @butterymin @angellekookie @futuristicenemychaos @minijagiya @anumita-2007 @joulekanitz

[vanilladollette]

Will you able to do part 2 of the sweetest poison please? 🥺♡

The Sweetest Poison Pt. 2

Pairing: Yandere Jeon Jae-Joon x Fem! Sweet Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Summary: After two months of silence following their breakup, you discover that Jae-Joon has been obsessively watching them, leaving unsettling gifts and messages, until you finally confront him—only to realize he has no intention of letting you go.

Warnings: Toxic, Stalking

A/n: I was thinking about making it a Part 2 🤭🤭

The moment you left Jae-Joon, you checked into a hotel. Even though you had been with him, you had always maintained your own independence—your own money, your own career. You knew that if you ever chose to stop working, Jae-Joon would have provided for you without hesitation. But that was never the point.

As soon as you entered your hotel room, you blocked his number. You weren’t interested in hearing his voice or whatever excuses he had prepared. Yet, even with that barrier in place, your phone still registered his desperation—thirty missed calls, forty unread messages. Each one a plea, an explanation, a regret you refused to acknowledge.

You let the phone rest on the nightstand, face down. You wouldn’t read them. You wouldn’t call him back. That part of your life was over.

Two months have passed.

At first, you had braced yourself for the inevitable—Jae-Joon showing up at your workplace, waiting outside your apartment, reaching out through mutual friends. He wasn’t the kind of man to let go easily. He had always been relentless in pursuit of what he wanted, and in the past, that determination had been one of the things that had drawn you to him.

So when the days passed and he didn’t come looking for you, you were… surprised. Then the weeks passed. Then a month. And then another. Not a word from him. No texts. No unexpected visits. No signs that he was trying to insert himself back into your life.

It was unlike him.

Jae-Joon doesn’t let go.

Jae-Joon doesn't give up.

At least, not when it came to you.

And yet, here you were—completely untouched by his presence, living a life that should have felt like freedom.

You weren’t naive enough to think he had moved on so quickly. No, you knew him better than that. Jae-Joon wasn’t the type to jump into another relationship just to forget. He wasn’t the kind to drown himself in fleeting distractions. When he loved, he loved deeply. That was something you had always known about him.

So where was he?

What had stopped him from chasing after you the way you had expected him to?

Maybe he had finally understood that there was nothing left to salvage between you. Maybe, for the first time, he had decided to respect your decision. Maybe—just maybe—he was learning to let you go.

Or maybe, just maybe, something was stopping him.

But that didn’t matter anymore.

You weren’t dating anymore.

He was no longer your problem.

Yet, even in his absence, he lingered.

Some nights, you still woke up expecting to hear his voice from the other room. Some days, you caught yourself glancing over your shoulder, half-expecting to see his car parked outside your building. When you went home, you hesitated before unlocking the door, irrationally bracing yourself for the impossible—that he was inside, waiting.

But he never was.

Jae-Joon had disappeared.

No calls. No texts. No sightings. Not even a whisper of him from mutual acquaintances. He had gone silent, and for someone as obsessive as him, that wasn’t just unusual—it was unnatural.

Until tonight.

You had been working late. The office was nearly empty when you finally stepped out, exhaustion weighing on you. The air was cold, the city streets quiet except for the occasional honk of a distant car. Your new apartment was only a ten-minute walk away, and you had taken this route dozens of times.

But tonight felt different.

You told yourself it was paranoia, that your nerves were playing tricks on you, but you felt it—an itch at the back of your neck, a lingering gaze that wasn’t there moments ago.

It wasn’t until you reached your building that you saw it.

A car.

Parked across the street, sleek and familiar. A model you knew well. The same car that had driven you home countless times.

Jae-Joon’s car.

Your stomach twisted.

He wasn’t inside—it was empty. But the message was clear.

He wanted you to know.

Your pulse thundered in your ears as you hurried inside, forcing yourself not to look back. You locked the door behind you, bolting it for good measure. Your fingers shook as you reached for your phone, pulling up his contact. Your blocklist still held his name, but you hesitated.

No.

You weren’t going to call him. You weren’t going to feed into this. If he wanted to play games, you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of a response.

Setting your phone aside, you took a deep breath and tried to shake off the unease.

But sleep didn’t come easily that night.

And the next morning, it got worse.

Your routine was disrupted the moment you stepped out of your building.

There—on your doorstep—sat a single item.

A bottle of your favorite perfume. The one you had worn all throughout your relationship.

New. Unopened.

A silent reminder that he still knew you. That he still paid attention. That he hadn’t forgotten a single thing.

You picked it up with trembling hands, your eyes darting around the empty street.

Nothing.

No sign of him.

You dropped the perfume into the nearest trash can and left without looking back.

But it didn’t stop.

A week later, a package arrived at your office with no sender listed. Inside, you found a small, delicate pendant—the same design Jae-Joon had once admired on you, the one you had lost years ago.

Two days after that, a note slipped under your apartment door. No name, no declaration of love, just five words written in his unmistakable handwriting:

“You don’t have to run.”

That night, you barely slept.

You knew what this was. A warning. A reminder. A patient predator waiting for his prey to come back willingly.

And you also knew that Jae-Joon wasn’t going to wait forever.

You should have gone to the police. Should have told someone. Should have done anything other than what you did.

But when you found yourself standing outside his apartment building, heart hammering in your chest, you realized something terrifying.

You weren’t just here to tell him to stop.

You were here to see for yourself—to confirm that the man you once loved was still the same one who could never let you go.

The door was unlocked.

He had been expecting you.

You stepped inside, your breath catching as you took in the familiar space. Dim lighting, the scent of expensive cologne, the meticulous order of everything. Nothing had changed.

Except for the wall.

Your pictures were still there.

Not just from your relationship, but recent ones—photos of you at work, at the café, walking home. Images from the past two months, proof that he had never truly left you alone.

You turned slowly, and there he was.

Jae-Joon leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, watching you with that infuriating smirk that had once been charming.

“You finally came back,” he murmured, his voice smooth as ever.

Your fingers curled into fists. “This needs to stop, Jae-Joon.”

His smirk didn’t falter. “What exactly do you want me to stop, sweetheart?”

“Following me. Leaving things for me. Pretending like we aren’t over.”

His expression darkened. “We’re not over.”

“Yes, we are,” you said firmly. “I don’t love you anymore.”

A muscle in his jaw twitched. “That’s a lie.”

“It’s not.”

He stepped closer, and despite your resolve, your breath hitched. His presence was suffocating—too close, too familiar, too overwhelming.

“I gave you two months,” he said, his voice eerily calm. “I let you have your little taste of freedom, your little rebellion. But let’s be honest, Y/n.” He reached out, his fingers ghosting over your wrist before you jerked away. His gaze darkened at the rejection. “You were never meant to be without me.”

“I was never meant to be yours,” you shot back.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Then, Jae-Joon exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. His patience—so carefully maintained—was beginning to crack.

“You don’t get it, do you?” he muttered, more to himself than to you. Then, with unsettling ease, he straightened and smiled again—cold, calculating. “That’s alright. I have time.”

A chill crawled down your spine.

This wasn’t over. Not for him.

And as much as you wanted to believe otherwise, you knew—deep down—that he would never let you go.

Not truly.

Not ever.