#Disconnected

[saydesole]

Disconnect 📵

[classycookiexo]

[neptunes-saddest-alien]

I feel so detached from everything and everyone it’s nauseating

[heavensickness]

[chroniclesofchronicillness]

[serenityquest]

[theinterestsofinsects]

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

Stay Safe Online

[whichbasketwitchbasket]

Simple ways to get around the mundanity of life and feel less bored/depressed overtime.

1: next time you're at the store? get a new fruit. So serious. Just one. Bets are you haven't had every fruit in the store. I've made it a tradition to try one new thing every time I go. Last week I grabbed my first ever pomegranate (and realized that they aren't my favorite, but who cares). Don't hold yourself to any standard here. They can be fresh, dried, frozen, hell even pureed. Just something new you haven't actually tasted before.

2: change your phone/computer wallpaper and reorganize your apps. (mini self promo: i'm in the process of making some lockscreen subliminals that I think are really fun :) if you want to get more witchy with it). Use your widgets. Make your own, if you have the energy.

3: delete apps, photos, data. You realize how much you hold onto that you don't need. Don't be a digital hoarder. Find 2 more to add. Play around.

4: move where you do things. Even if it's not very far. I write my posts from my bedroom most of the time, but I'm slowly randomizing my spot. The library, cafe, or even just your kitchen. on the floor. On the countertop. Outside. In the closet. The world is your oyster.

5: move around your actual space. If you're physically abled, literally rearrange the room. My mom had the habit of moving our couch every month. A drawer also works.

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Remember: there is no shame in what you can, or can't do, as long as it helps. My masterlist

[gender-jargon]

[Image ID: An alternate Neut(gender) flag created by Gent of Gender-Jargon. The flag consist of six, horizontal stripes of the same size. From top to bottom, the stripes are burgundy, desaturated magenta, light lavendar, tan, desaturated green and dark green. ./. End ID]

Neut: a gender identity related to one's usage of It/Its/Itself pronouns to communicate a sense of self that is disconnected from humanity, "other" and/or neuter, but not genderless.

Also called Neutgender.

[PT: Neut: a gender identity related to one's usage of It/Its/Itself pronouns to communicate a sense of self that is disconnected from humanity, "other" and/or neuter, but not genderless. Also called Neutgender.]

Etymology

[PT: Etymology]

The etymology of this term is unknown. Neut(gender) was coined by tumblr user Wingsdownmyspine in March 2020. The Neutgender pride flag and an expanded definition were reposted to Beyond-Mogai-Pride-Flags by Mod Fy two days later.

"Neut" is likely an abbreviation of "Neuter" or "Neutral", but this has not been confirmed by the original coiner of the term.

Flag

[PT: Flag]

The original flag was created by the coiner at the same time as the term. This flag consists of four horizontal stripes of the same size. From top to bottom, they are black, grey, white and red. The meaning of the original flag is unknown.

Due to being almost completely identical to the Asocial flag designed two years prior to Neutgender, I took it upon myself to make an alternate flag, which is the main purpose of this post.

This alternate flag consists of six, horizontal stripes of the same size. From top to bottom, the stripes are burgundy, desaturated magenta, light lavender, tan, desaturated green and dark green. Each stripe has the following meanings:

The burgundy stripe represents being Neut.

The magenta stripe represents disconnection from humanity.

The light lavender represents a present sense of gender.

The tan stripe represents the usage of It/Its pronouns (as opposed to They/Them).

The light green stripe represents otherness.

The dark green stripe represents neuterness/neutrality.

The burgundy stripe is a homage to the original flag that used red alongside a monochrome color palette.

Alternate flag by Gent of Gender-Jargon, April 2024.

[squarewolf77]

I feel like I have been here for days now. Sitting idly by. walking the same path back and forth on autopilot. I hardly feel conscious most of the time, like my mind is running in the background yet never fully aware of whats happening. Sometimes, in small moments I can feel the sand blowing against me. Feel the warmth of the sun.

Tomorrow is my last day here. Been two whole weeks and not a hint of movement. Not that I'm complaining the calm is preferable to the alternative. Every now and then the sensors will light up and pull my attention to something but it's usually a stray bird or the like. The whiplash of the being pulled forward to such a state of focus and then drift back into the background can be pretty taxing on the mind. I will definitely enjoy the few days rest after this.

It's finally here, the last day. The new squad shuffled in and we are out of here. The last day is always tough. First they bring you all the way froward to run a systems check. Then you are pushed so far back you may as well be in a coma. Supposedly its cause the mind cant handle the strain of the desync. Gotta admit even in that unconscious state if feels like I am being torn in half.

All systems are in the green.

Preparing for desync

3

2

1

What.....what is this? Where am I?

Fuck my head is killing me.

Wait, I... I don't remember it feeling like this before.

A rush of air, its defining. I can feel the cold all over my skin. It's never felt this cold before. Is my body shivering or seizing?

The...The light pouring through the crack its blinding. Why won't my vision calibrate? Why can I still see it even when my eyes are closed?

Release that one over there.

I've got this one.

Ok, lets get them up.

Nice and slow.

Make sure to hold them up now we're almost there.

Fuck. I can hardly keep my head up.

I feel like I can hardly move.

Was I always this weak? No.. No I swear I could... Wait no was that?

Ok your gonna feel a slight pinch alright.

Everything is ok you're doing great.

I... I...I...I..... This what is it?

I...It's all coming back. I can feel my fingers agin.

The tendons in my arm, feels like they are recalibrating.

Each, finger

one at a time.

Ok last thing we're gonna disconnect the cable ok.

It's gonna feel a little strange ok but nothing you haven't done before alright.

Shhhhhhhhit! It feels as though my spine is being pulled out through my neck. I can feel a strong jolt through my entire body. Every part of me tense to the point I feel its gonna rip apart. Then suddenly everything lets go. There, there is nothing left, it, she's ...n.. nevermind.

Ok thats it!

You did fantastic!

Take your time ok when you're ready we're gonna help you up and get you outta there ok.

My hands come up slowly, aching, to cradle my head. I feel my fingers slide with apprehension across my forehead and through the thin layer of fuzz on my head. It's soft, cut short. it feels good as my hands lightly brush against it. My fingers slide even further back, down the back of my neck all the way to the port at the base. They trace the edges of it, where the cold metal meets my skin, the point where we were just one. My arms close around my face as I feel tears begin to roll down my cheeks.

It's more than just the desync. They rip out a part of me ever time I step out of that cockpit. I can feel memories, absent. Gaps where it wasn't just you or me but us, missing. I am only half of a whole agin. An incomplete being. They pull us apart to make us rely on them make us serve them. I always forget when we are together but it becomes painfully clear when you are no longer there.

It's ok, take all the time you need.

Your mind will reacclimate just give it time.

A lie they tell every time. Sure it becomes more bearable over time, but your absence is always felt. The echos of you in my mind linger. I know it is only a week without you but I can't seem to gather the strength to step out of the cockpit. To leave you behind. Alone. I sit motionless in your frame. Both of us touching yet unable to connect.

[th3-0bjectivist]

Face # 1: Lethargy at the museum

This year (2024) I’ll be trying to draw faces, all year long. By the end of the year, I’d like to be able to capture some truly emotive expressions on faces. I was never good at drawing any portion of the human physique, but some practice will get me closer. Sorry if these start off rough or scratchy, this is merely my first try. Just trying to improve my line work and technique in regard to sketching.

I’ve never been good with names, but faces I remember upon the first time seeing one. I was at The Mint Museum in Charlotte recently. I was alone, checking out art and this group of four girls in their mid-twenties walked into a sculpture room where I was browsing a few pieces. Among these girls was a hipster looking chick. Spikey hair, feminine in kind of a punk way, had big eyes and very plain attire. What separated her from her friends was that… she looked so utterly bored to be at the museum. She was just kind of listlessly walking around, looking kind of sad or detached, taking pictures with her cell phone instead of absorbing or contemplating the beauty of the art on display. After she came near me a few times, I started to memorize her face and the way she looked as she lethargically sauntered around the hall. I kept thinking that I wanted to capture the disconnected look on her face, so I drew it! More to come.

[unhinged-blabbering]

Jeevan ki aadhi problems toh mobile ka internet off kar dene se khatam ho jati hain

[skyexrose]

I would rather adjust my life to your absence, than adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect. 🤌🏻

[heavensickness]

Jenny Holzer, Inflammatory Essays (1979–82)

[whosadu]

how do i tell someone that it's not that i don't like them or don't wanna talk to them it's just that im at war with my mind and im keeping my heart from divorcing me and im disconnected from reality and silently digging a grave for myself and trying to keep sane at the same time