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#Don't ask how this was made because i blacked out while doing it lmao
jmkho · 1 year
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✨️HAPPY BIRTHDAY @oliverreedmasterass ✨️
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🥳 Wishing Aly a wonderful birthday today! I hope you have a wonderful birthday with lots of giggles & goodies 🎂 🥳
🗡 It took me some time to get Oliver Reed to stop running around chasing everybody!🗡
The gif is so quick I'm so sorry! The text reads -
🗡🥃Welcome all!🥃🗡
It's very astute of yew to join me, to celebrate Aly darlin's BURF DAY!
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Do you have any advice/suggestions/requests for non-black members of fandom as far as how to respond to racism in fandom spaces? Obviously we shouldn't be speaking over black voices, but it doesn't seem fair for black members of fandom to have to do all the work of making a fandom space safe and welcoming for themselves.
You are correct! Tbh, these are tips for being a good ally in general:
Amplify Black Voices!
Odds are, whatever manifesto you have in your mind about the injustice of antiblackness in your fandom, a Black fan has already said it multiple times. While I appreciate the sentiment, I must admit I'm salty when I see that people are more supportive of (usually white) voices that discuss my lived experience, over my own voice and my lived experience. What does that really solve? You need to be following Black fans too, that way you're actually in the know when these things are happening.
Don't be a Bystander!
If I'm getting jumped and you (who had the power to help) show up afterwards to say "I really empathized with your pain", I'm not going to think "wow they cared, I'm so grateful". I'm going to think "WOW they really let me get my ass beat!" Same idea with this. That's honestly the most painful part for me; it's not the lone racist themselves, but the hordes of people who back them up, and the rest (some of whom you may even consider a friend) who might disagree but say absolutely nothing.
When you see that a Black peer is being railroaded and you KNOW it's wrong, step tf up! Be willing to say "you're out of pocket for behaving this way, and I will not be supporting you now that I know you're a racist". I will never know you're an ally if you're only an ally in your head! It's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!!
It's going to be uncomfortable! Stand on it!
If you share that you're against antiblackness in fandom spaces, but next you're reblogging whitewashed art, or an artist known for whitewashed/racist pieces, or still following someone who's made covert/overt antiblack statements, etc. just bc you "enjoy their stuff"... You're not being an ally. Be willing to hold those creators accountable, and when they disappoint you, unfollow them. Be willing to tell your friends, "hey, that person did/said this thing that was anti-black and were unapologetic about it". And if your friends don't care? Now you know who's around you. I'm not saying it's easy, but... Do you stand on business, or would you rather allow racism so that you can stay comfortable? Because your Black peers have to live under this discomfort you're only momentarily experiencing. It's far harder for me to approach these people and hold them accountable. And if I see that you're still kicking it with known antiblack racists... I'm probably not going to assume highly of you, either.
Educate yourself on what these aggressions look like!
You might not know what to look for, and if you don't, you're gonna miss a lot. What is actually antiblackness will often be posited as "drama" or "fandom wank". Or, if they're really trying to sound progressive, it'll reveal itself as dogwhistles in other important topics like queer representation or misogyny (e.g. how white women often claim misogyny when confronted with their racism, or TERFs). That's how it gets swept under the rug. Learn to recognize microaggressions, learn to recognize the signs. It requires work! Listen to and believe your Black peers when they explain what they saw! Bc trust, once you see it... You'll realize there's a lot of it lmao. And that's what many fans are afraid of confronting.
That's what I have for now, if anyone else has anything to offer. 👍🏾 Thanks for asking!
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astrophileous · 11 months
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What about bau!reader who gets shot on a case and Morgan gets angry? like really angry. i leave the rest up to you but i’m kicking my feet and giggling to the thought of morgan getting all angry and mad🤭
if any of you saw this post I made abt agent anderson, it was about this blurb lmao. ty for the request sweetie! I hope this is to your liking 💞
Warning(s): gn!reader, injured reader, talks of gunshot, derek is angry 😠, profanities
This blurb was written as a part of the "Zara's Birthday Bash and Road to 1K" celebration.
Zara's Birthday Bash and Road to 1K Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist
Heavy footsteps thundered along the white stark hallway. People scampered like hunted rabbits when they saw him, but Derek didn't care. Nothing else mattered to him right at that moment except for reaching the destination in his mind.
Emily Prentiss was the first person Derek saw in the pristine waiting room. The black-haired woman stood to her feet the second her eyes landed on him. Emily had never seen such fury in the man's eyes. She didn't think she would even recognize him in this state if it weren't for the familiar face drilling holes straight through her skull.
"Anything?" Derek bellowed, his voice echoing against every available surface in the room.
Emily shook her head.
"How bad is it? Tell me."
"I don't know," the brunette lamented. "They already ushered (Y/N) inside when I arrived. I don't know anything."
"Well, somebody has to fucking know something." Derek started to pace, his posture domineering in the middle of the room. "Where is—"
Before he could formulate the name in his mind, the person in question appeared from the hallway with Spencer hot on his heels. Agent Anderson faltered in his tracks when he spotted Derek in the waiting room, his countenance getting paler as the latter stalked towards him.
"You," Derek seethed. "You tell me what the fuck happened out there, right now."
Anderson couldn't even look at Derek's face without trembling. Spencer stepped in between the two, trying to push Derek away by his shoulder but the older man wouldn't even budge.
"Morgan, this is not the time nor the place," Spencer warned.
"I'm not doing anything. I'm just asking a question," Derek sneered. "Am I right, Anderson? We're just having a conversation, right?"
"R-Right."
"Good. Now tell me what fucking happened."
The atmosphere thickened in the room. Anderson's eyes darted everywhere as if looking for a reprieve. It was a futile attempt, really. There was nowhere that the man could run where Derek couldn't follow.
"It was supposed to be routine questioning. We didn't—we didn't know that the guy had a warrant against him. I only heard the gunshot before I found (Y/L/N) in the backyard."
"Where were you? Why weren't you two together?"
"We... we, uh, we split up."
"You what?"
"(Y/L/N) said—" Anderson stopped himself when Derek proceeded to glower, forcing the younger agent to backtrack and choose his words more carefully, "—like I said, we didn't think the guy was any threat when we arrived. He shot (Y/L/N) and ran while I was calling for help."
The muscles on Derek's face twitched. "So, not only did you put (Y/N)'s life on the line, but you also let the shooter go free?"
"What? I didn't—we weren't—the injury isn't even that fatal!"
Anderson regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. Spencer physically winced after hearing the sentence, and from across the room, Emily was frowning, shaking her head in disapproval as if she was reprimanding her young child.
"I see. It's not even that fatal, is it?"
"T-That's not what I—" gulping down, Anderson tried to scour for his voice, "—I just meant that the, um, the bullet? It didn't even go through. It only grazed (Y/L/N)'s side."
Spencer let out a tired sigh from between them.
"Yeah? You're lucky it didn't go through, Anderson." Derek stepped forward, his index finger blunt but piercing as it fell on Anderson's chest. "Because if the bullet did go through, I would've made sure that you'd fucking pay—"
"Excuse me? Anyone here for (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?"
Derek's threats were cut short by the doctor's appearance in the room. Anderson breathed out his relief as Derek approached the physician.
"I'm the fiancé, Doctor," Derek informed. "Can you tell us anything?"
"Well, I've cleaned and patched up the wound. The bullet only grazed the side so there aren't any shrapnels in it. Just needed a few stitches, really. It could've been worse," the doctor disclosed.
Derek nodded along during her entire explanation. "Can, uh, can I...?"
"Oh! Yes, of course. Just head down this hall. It's the second room to the right."
Derek barely managed to rush out a quick thank you before sprinting down the hallway shown by the doctor. He knocked on the second room to the right, hearing you yell a come in! before he went to open the door.
"Hey, you," Derek said once he was inside the threshold.
You were sitting on a stretcher, your shirt buttoned only at the top as your fingers deftly did the rest. Derek caught a glimpse of the bandage on your side and his heart was in a peril of jumping straight out of his chest. The harrowing feeling was eventually chased away by the sight of your blinding smile.
"Hi, handsome," you greeted.
Your voice was still the same exultant lull that he knew and loved all too well. In fact, if he didn't know any better, there was no visible indication to reveal the horrific encounter that you just went through a couple of hours prior. You looked the same. Normal. Derek allowed the relief to flood as this knowledge dawned on him.
"Why do you look like you just suffered through a massive heart attack?" you asked, bemused as you reached out a palm to his direction.
"Because it feels like I did just have a massive heart attack." Derek accepted your palm and kissed the knuckles before securing your joint hands inside the pocket of his jacket. "You scared the living shit out of me, sweetheart."
"I'm sorry, love. We were blindsided. Didn't mean to worry you."
"You're okay, though?"
"Uh-huh. Just a little sore. And it kinda hurts when I do this." You extended your arm, flinching when a surge of pain instantly ran down your side.
"Stop it. Don't do that. Why would you do that if it hurts?"
"To demonstrate," you replied nonchalantly. "By the way, you shouldn't have been so harsh on Anderson."
"What? How did you know?"
"I didn't. But I know how you are, and your answer just confirmed everything to me." Derek didn't know whether to feel deceived or impressed by what you just said. "You should ease up on him. It's not his fault, you know?"
"I don't know, sweetheart. When two people are paired together and one of them ends up in the hospital with a gunshot wound, I think it's fair to blame the other half of the pair for it, don't you think?"
"But it's the shooter's fault, Derek, not Anderson."
"The shooter may have pulled the trigger, but Anderson didn't have your back." Derek used his free hand to brush a knuckle against your cheekbone. "You wouldn't be here right now if he did."
You huffed an aggravated breath, detangling your fingers from his own in a rebellious act of frustration. "If the situation were flipped, and it was Anderson who lay here instead of me, you would've gone well out of your way to convince me that what happened to him wasn't my fault."
"If the situation were flipped, Anderson wouldn't even be lying on this hospital bed in the first place."
"You don't know that!"
"Maybe. But you don't know what could've happened, either." Derek's hand slipped along your elbow, tugging it gently as he shuffled closer to you. "C'mon, baby. We need to get you home."
"No." You shook his hand away from your arm, getting off the bed as Derek blanched in surprise. "I can do it myself."
Derek watched dumbfoundedly as you staggered towards the table where your jacket, gun, and credentials were stowed. He kept an eagle eye on you as you tried putting on the jacket by yourself, cringing internally when he heard the wretched hiss escaping your lips.
"Okay, baby, stop. That's enough. (Y/N)." Derek snatched the jacket off your back, rearranging its position before helping you slide each arm into the sleeves. "Just let me help you, dammit. Why are you so stubborn?"
"I don't need help from someone who berates other people for fun," you grumbled.
"That's what you think? That I'm doing it because it's fun?"
You paid Derek no regard as you teetered towards the lone chair in the room, sitting yourself down slowly before bending to fix your shoes that had become untied. It turned out to be an arduous feat to do with your injury, and for the next minute, you found yourself shifting into various positions to find one that wouldn't feel like a dozen knives being plunged straight through your flesh.
Across the room, Derek stared at every one of your movements in agony.
"C'mon, baby. Let me do that for you."
"No."
"You're literally in pain as we speak."
"I can take it."
"Why the hell are you doing this?"
"You know why."
Derek sighed.
"Fine," he relented. "I'll apologize to Anderson. Happy now?"
You stopped fiddling with the end of your shoelaces. Your entire face lit up like a kid in a candy store when you found his eyes from the distance. "Really?"
"Yes, really." Derek strode forward, kneeling in front of you so he could help you tie your shoelaces. "Just let me help you when you need me to, okay?"
"Okay!" you exclaimed, leaning down to leave a kiss on Derek's forehead.
Your fiancé had to contain his smile from your adorable but unexpected gesture. "You're lucky I love you, sweetheart."
Even as he said it, Derek knew that deep down, he was actually the lucky one.
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hijackalx · 9 months
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BG3 NON-COMPANIONS/NON-ORIGIN COMPANIONS TURN ONS/KINKS +18
FEMALE BG3 COMPANIONS
MALE BG3 COMPANIONS
characters included: halsin, minthara, jaheira, gortash
*dark content warning for gortash*
HALSIN
SIZE DIFFERENCE
OBVIOUSLYYYY lmao. he loves how small u are in comparison to him. i mean everything about him is large— hands, arms, chest, thighs. also, i feel like he likes that he has to help u when u take control because ur smaller or weaker than him. like, when he has to subtly help u pin his wrists by moving them in the direction u want lol
THIGH RIDING
this also plays into the size difference thing. like his thigh is just so big/muscular, and he loves watching u grind on it (or he can bounce his knee to help u get off too). the type to grab u by ur hips and assist u when ur rhythm starts to stutter. he also loves the wet spot that forms in ur underwear if u keep them on 💗
DEEP THROATING/FACESITTING
OK HE LOVES BOTH like i said everything about him is large (😈) so he loves to see u try to swallow him whole. the way u gag and struggle to take him in is soooo hot to him. also all the drool that spills out of ur mouth 🤤🤤 as for facesitting u better sit ur ass tf DOWN !! HE CAN TAKE IT !! lovessss when u grind on his face/mouth, also loves to squeeze ur ass during it
THREESOME
THIS MAN IS GENEROUS !!! LOVES to share !! always wanting to invite people to have sex with y'all. he feels like it's so much more fun and also loves to watch u get fucked/have u watch him get fucked. will want to do spit roasting too.
SWINGING
sooo into exchanging partners with other couples. or just fucking other people in general. of course he won't do this if u don't want to though. but he gets really excited if u do 😹😹 probably gets off while sharing ur experiences with each other
MINTHARA
KNIFE PLAY
likes the way u shake and whimper as she brings her knife close to ur skin. will leave small cuts and want to carve her initials into ur skin. also slightly into bloodplay too ?? i feel like she'd be into smearing ur blood on her hands and making u clean them off with ur tongue OOF
BONDAGE
she would absolutely cast web and use it as bondage restraints LMAO. will have u in some crazyyy positions too. kind of in a shibari way but with webs. the webs are actually pretty gentle though and have some give so she's not like, totally sadistic with it 😌💗
DACRYPHILIA
SHE DOES LIKE TO SEE U CRY THOUGH LMAO like something about how weak/pathetic u look turns her on so bad— as long as SHE'S the one that made u cry. if it's because of somebody or something else it's lowkey a boner killer for her 😹😹😹 will say really horrible, mean things to try to bring u to tears and then get wet af. will not comfort u after either
GAGGING
likes to use a ball gag but will honestly use whatever she has at the moment. a rag or her fingers even. she likes that u can't speak and can only moan/whimper. also into the way u drool. will purposely ask u questions and then punish/degrade u for not being able to answer
BOOT WORSHIP
LOVESSS making u kiss her boots. will want to hold u down with her boot and make u praise her endlessly. or step on ur face. might even be into giving u a little kick in the diaphragm if u want 😹😹😹
JAHEIRA
MIRROR SEX
WILL WANT TO BE FUCKED IN FRONT OF A MIRROR!!!! with her face pressed against it while she's getting backshots or even with one propped up beside the bed so she can watch how good she looks while she rides u. lowkey will put on a show for herself and get off to it 😹😹
LINGERIE
loves lingerie of all kinds. the garter straps on her thighs are her favorite part tbh. probably prefers to wear black or red— like classically sexy colors. also probably likes it if u wear some too, and will want to keep it on for the full duration of the sex. LOVES lace
STRIPPING
^^ ALTHOUGH.... she also really likes to strip for u. like going nice and slow while u try to restrain urself lol. will probably give u a lap dance too and is pretty playful with it sometimes. particularly loves to see how u get progressively more horny the longer she takes, also into seeing u touch urself a little bit during it too
NIPPLE PLAY
sucking on/playing with her nipples is a MUST. HUGEEEE erogenous zone for her. can probably cum from nipple stimulation alone. likes when u make it hurt a little too, like pinching or twisting them
DEGRADATION
kind of into u calling her names.... like whore or slut. tell her she's a dirty whore while u pull her hair and fuck her from behind. will also talk down to u if ur not really doing the best job LMAO like u better fuck her right or ur gonna get it 😹😹 she'll straight up be like "is that the best u can do?" or "this is pathetic."
BONUS:
GORTASH
BREEDING
HE NEEDS HEIRRRSSSS !!! ALWAYS wants to cum inside. an actual babymaking MONSTER like he cums so much its crazy. loves to see u stuffed full of his cum, it really makes him feels accomplished after all of his hard work 💪🏻💯😹
DADDY DOM
he is so into being called daddy. depending on the context he’ll get rock hard but also likes if u call him that outside of sex too. u can basically get anything u want from him if u add a ‘please daddy’ at the end of it— like he just can’t bring himself to say no. he’ll do anything for u to keep calling him that lol
*** DUBCON ***
DEFINITELY into coercing u/figuring out ways to get what he wants. likes when u get overstimulated and start telling him it’s too much or trying to push him away (u do have a safeword). also the fact that he can overpower u if he wants gets him sooo hard
POWER PLAY
LOVESSS having u at his beck and call. the more pliant and submissive u are the better. won’t do this outside of the bedroom unless u want to or if u initiate it since he prefers the idea of only him being able to see u like that. he’s the only one you’ll roll over for, so to speak lol
COLLARING
makes a special collar for u with expensive imported materials and shit lmao. thinks u look absolutely gorgeous in it and will tell u that all the time. loves the way u gasp when he sharply tugs on its leash. will also tug on it while giving u backshots. likes how it chokes u a little bit too, and the bruises it leaves behind when he’s too rough with it
MALE BG3 COMPANIONS
FEMALE BG3 COMPANIONS
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python333 · 1 year
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your writing is literally the best in the cod fandom. we need more injured reader angst. it's too good
don't breathe — python333
— — — —
synopsis [reader] gets buried alive after refusing to give intel to enemy soldiers and *slips up and writes reader almost dying again* oops how did that happen haha
relationships platonic!price & gn!reader.
characters cap. john price.
word count 2.7k
warnings suffocation [reader], just generally really depressing thoughts, near death??, 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [code name/call sign].
note aww tysm :(( dont say its the best im gonna get a complex LMAO but i appreciate it!! and yes i agree injured reader angst ftw :3 i present to you: reader gets very injured and theres a lot of angst and its basically just you suffering for a good 3/4 of the fic while the last quarter has the actual comfort!
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“Hello?” You try again, your voice cracking and your tone as desperate as it can get, “Please, God, say someone can hear me.” 
You’ve been trapped in a casket for about five minutes now—at least, you woke up five minutes ago. God knows how long you’ve been stuck in the stupid thing, but realistically, it’s probably been much longer than five minutes.
The last thing you remember from before you were buried is being in the interrogation room of some small terrorist group’s facility, one you and the others were led to believe was abandoned weeks ago. 
Unfortunately, whoever gave you the information must’ve either had incredibly outdated information or was setting you all up for failure, because the facility was very much not abandoned and was instead full of enemy soldiers.
You all had already gotten into the building before you knew that, because of course you all had to be in the same spot at the same time—practically sitting ducks for the enemy—and of course you all had to be clueless about the possibly hundreds of people in the facility until it was too late. 
As far as you know, everyone managed to escape. Everyone but you. They didn’t mean to leave you behind, of course they didn’t, they were more focused on just booking it out of the facility. However, because of that, you were now stuck—you assume—several feet underground in a casket that has a limited amount of oxygen that drops every time you take a breath. 
You let out the breath you’re currently holding and suck in another deep breath, holding it as you think. Your strategy of holding your breath until you no longer could mostly worked, but it wouldn’t for long, you knew that soon you’d suffocate in all of the carbon dioxide gathering in the enclosed casket.
You don’t know how long you’d been unconscious in the casket, breathing in oxygen carelessly in your slumber, which made the whole situation worse. You didn’t even know how much time you had left. 
You hate to waste your breath checking your comms, but the enemy soldiers had accidentally left your earpiece in your ear—the small device apparently going undetected under their radar—and you wanted to make the most of it. You move your arm from your side and press onto the PTT button on your earpiece, wincing a little at how cramped the casket was.
“Does anybody copy?” You ask again, staring up at the almost pitch black space above you, “I repeat, does anybody copy?” 
It’s a vain attempt at contacting your team, really. You don’t know if they’re thinking about you, if the signal is going through, if they even have their earpieces on—you know nothing, and that terrifies you because you really don’t want to die right now but there’s literally nothing else you can do besides helplessly talk into your earpiece, not knowing if anyone’s listening. 
Your lungs start to burn and you let out the breath you were holding, taking another deep breath and beginning to hold that one. The air feels… thick. It’s starting to get harder to breathe, and you know you shouldn’t panic but you can’t help the few worried thoughts that come to the forefront of your mind. 
What am I going to do when I run out of oxygen and the only thing left for me to breathe in are my own discarded breaths? What will I do when all there is to do is suffocate? Am I going to try, in one last desperate attempt, to break out of the casket, or am I going to just lay here and die? Will my team try to find me, or will they forget about me? Have they already forgotten about me? 
Before you can listen to any more of those depressing thoughts, a voice comes from your earpiece. 
“H—lo? [c/n]?” It’s hard to tell with the static and the cuts in between the words, but you think it’s Price talking. 
“Price?” You ask immediately, all thoughts of preserving your breath forgotten. “Holy shit, you can hear me?” 
“Je—s— whe—e—” He cuts out for a moment and your stomach drops when all you can hear is static for a moment. 
“You’re— You’re cutting out, Captain, what did you say?” 
“Wher— —re you?” It takes you a moment to realize what he’s saying, your mind working much slower than it usually does, but once you do you shake your head negatively despite him not being there to see you. 
“I don’t— I don’t know,” You respond, taking a deep breath before adding on, “I think I’m underground, I just know I’m in a casket and it’s getting harder to breathe and—” 
“Okay, o—y,” You hear Price’s voice crackle, his voice becoming more distant and sounding almost muffled to you, “Sa— —ur bre—th, I’ll try to g—t some—e to track your— —tion.” 
With the constant cutting out of his words and the distortion of his tone, you can barely register or process what he’s saying, and that only panics you more but you refuse to let your emotions get the better of you even in the state of disorientation you’re in, so you keep holding your breath. 
A minute later, Price’s voice crackles through your earpiece again. 
“Okay, we’ve got your loc—tion,” Price’s voice sounds… oddly far away, “We can—” 
His voice slowly becomes muffled, and you release the breath you were holding without realizing it, slowly blinking up at the ceiling of the casket. A sort of haze falls over your mind and you can barely even hear Price anymore before you suddenly snap back to reality and hear his now much clearer voice loud in your ear. 
“[c/n]? [c/n], are you still there?” You recognize his tone now, and you’re just a little shocked at the sheer amount of worry in it. 
“Haven’t moved an inch,” You breathe out, before lying, “You cut out for a second for me, sorry.” 
“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay,” Price reassures you, “I said we got your loc—tion and we’re hea—g out th— —w. It’s not t— far away from where —e alre—dy are, we’re ba—ely three clicks away.” 
“… Clicks?” You ask, your eyebrows drawing together in confusion.
“Yes, clicks,” Price replies, sounding concerned, before hesitantly asking, “… You know what those are, right?” 
“I don’t—” You struggle to find words for a moment before you speak again, your own voice starting to sound distant, “I don’t think so?”
“What do y—u mean you don’t thi— —o?” Price asks, his voice sounding freakishly close, “Are you okay?” 
“No, yeah, I’m fine,” You lie through your teeth, not wanting to worry Price further, “I just… how far away are you?” 
“Just ab—t two cli—ks now,” Price says, before pausing and clarifying, “Two kilometers.” 
Two kilometers… how far is that? “And that’s… is that far, or?” 
“No, it’s not too far. It’s just a mi—te away, we didn’t ge— —o far before Laswell got your loc—tion,” Price tells you, “We’ll be there soon, ok—y? We’ll get y— —ut of there.” 
“A minute—” You cough and feel tears pricking at your eyes from how hard it is to take another breath, “A minute?” 
“Yes, a minute— [c/n], are you okay?” Price asks again, before laughing nervously, “You know what a minute is, do— —ou?” 
“...” You struggle to answer the question, thinking long and hard for a few seconds before hesitantly answering, “… Yeah, I do, sorry. It’s sixty seconds.” 
“Why’d it take you so long to answer?” 
“I don’t know, I’m sorry, I—” You take a few shallow breaths, and feel a headache start to build up, “How far away are you guys?” 
“We’re alm—t there,” Price promises you, “The heli’s ab—t to l—nd, and we’ll dig you up, and—” 
Why is it so cold? Price’s voice cuts off and when he stops talking you realize that you’re shivering. You ball your fists up and can’t even feel your nails digging into your palms, your hands having gone numb from the cold, and realizing that makes you discover that your lips feel numb too. 
Your ears start to ring and you feel that uncomfortable pins and needles feeling in your hands, the sensation slowly traveling up your arms, making you both wanting to peel off your own skin and also grateful that you can at least feel something besides the cold.
In the midst of your thinking, you hear muffled thumping coming from above you—whoever buried you couldn’t have buried you anything below six feet. 
“—llo? [c/n]? Are you still there?” 
You bring your hand up, the movement slow and sluggish, and you try to search around the side of your face for your earpiece. You eventually find it and when you do you press against it until you feel the PTT button being pushed. 
“Still here,” You confirm breathlessly, coughing again as you take a few more shallow breaths, “I think I’m running out of— of… what’s the fuckin’ air that you can breath in, it starts with an o…” 
“… Oxygen?”
“Oxygen, yeah,” You slowly blink up at the ceiling of the casket, “There’s— I think— I don’t… I think… I think I’m gonna pass out, Captain.” 
“[c/n], don’t you fucking dare,” Price growls, “You stay awake, I swear to fucking god.” 
“I can’t—” You take a few more shallow breaths, before coughing, the tears escaping your eyes reaching the corners of your mouth. 
You can hear Price briefly talk with someone else, his voice the most serious you’ve ever heard it, before he talks directly to you again, “How much longer do you think you have before you run out of oxygen?” 
It takes you a moment to register the question, but when you do, you answer, “Uh… I don’t— I think… maybe a few more minutes? I can’t tell, it’s just hard to breathe, I can’t…” 
“Okay, okay,” Price softly says, gusts of wind blowing into his mic as he talks, “Give me a second, okay? We’re almost there, kid, we’ll— we’ll be there in just a minute, we just passed over you, I just need you to stay awake.” 
“In a minute,” You repeat to yourself, before taking a deep breath, hoping that you have enough oxygen to make it out of this casket because you really don’t want to die here, not when there’s help just a minute away. 
After what you assume is a minute or two, instead of thumping, you hear something cut into the dirt above you. The sound, however, is heavily muffled, so muffled to the point where you don’t know if you’re hallucinating or not.
Is that a symptom of CO2 poisoning? Hallucinations? You lay still in the casket and can’t help but release the breath you’d only just taken, the ringing in your ears starting up again and growing louder faster than they had before. 
Your entire body is numb, your chest is heavy, and you can feel a sort of fog fall over your mind. You can distantly hear Price yelling through your earpiece, but you can’t find it in yourself to respond, instead simply laying there, your blinking starting to slow down before it eventually stops, leaving your eyes closed. 
— 
For a moment, you think you died and went to heaven, which would be weird, considering all the things you’ve done in your life. Not saying you’d go to hell, just saying God would probably hesitate for a second before letting you in through the pearly gates. 
You blink awake, slowly but surely, and the first thing you realize is that you can feel things again. You tilt your head down to the bump under the white bed sheets laid on top of you, and squeeze your hand into a ball, watching the bump move and feeling your fingers dig into your oddly sore palms.
You let out a sigh of relief and pull your hand out from the sheets, bringing it up to your face and feeling the oxygen mask that’s been placed over your mouth and nose.
“Don’t mess with that,” You hear a voice say to your right. You turn your head and see a very tired Captain Price, dark eyebags hanging under his eyes and arms crossed, his hands having a white knuckle grip on either one of his elbows. 
“…” You don’t say anything, instead you simply stare at him until he sighs and gets up from his seat. You watch silently as he leans over your bed and bends down, before pausing, and then quickly snaking his hands under your back to pull you up just enough for him to properly hug you. 
You reach up with shaky hands and tentatively hug him back, not nearly as tightly—not that you don’t want to, but you physically can’t with how weak your arms are right now—but with just as much sincere affection. You can feel Price’s beard rubbing against your neck and hear his small sniffles as he embraces you tightly. 
Maybe it’s his sniffling, or the way you can finally feel warmth for the first time in what feels like forever, or maybe it’s just the fact that he’s holding you with so much care and affection that it almost makes you burst at the seams, whatever it is, it causes you to tear up as well. 
Those tears quickly become sobs that bubble up in your throat and crawl their way out of it, forcing you to tuck your head into the crook of Price’s neck and muffle your sobs in it, muttering a small ‘sorry’ after each one. 
After each ‘sorry’, Price responds with, “It’s okay, let it out, sweetheart, you’re okay,” and those reassuring words only make you cry more because God, you didn’t even think he’d find you, yet here he is, letting you cry into his neck and is reassuring you after every apology that it’s okay. 
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry—” You mumble a litany of apologies into Price’s neck, your breath stuttering and hitching as you try to hold back your sobs. Price only shushes you and rubs his hand up and down your back in a comforting gesture, bringing his head up to kiss the top of your head. 
He tucks your head under his chin, “Don’t apologize, it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 
And fuck, you know it’s just words, but it only makes you cry more. 
Your sobs eventually stop, leaving you hiccuping against Price’s neck, silently crying as he continues to rub your back. 
“I thought you died,” He whispers, his hand stuttering on your back, “I thought you died and I was going to dig up your dead body, when you didn’t answer me.”
You stay silent, letting him continue, “I thought you were dead when we dug you up and needed to feel your heartbeat for myself to confirm that you were still alive.” 
He pauses for a moment before continuing, “I’ve been here ever since they put you in here. I haven’t slept, I’ve just stayed here, waiting for you to wake up so I could tell you that I—”
He chokes up for a moment before taking a deep breath and continuing, “I’m sorry for not even thinking to drag you out of the facility with me when we all ran out. You were— you were right there, and I couldn’t just grab your arm and take you with me, I just had to leave you behind and I—” 
“You watched me while I was asleep?” You ask quietly, your eyebrows drawing together. 
Price pauses and pulls his chin off of your head, and pulls you away from his neck so he can properly give you the most incredulous look he can pull, before saying, “I’m pouring my heart out to you and apologizing for practically leaving you for dead, and that’s what you’re worried about?” 
“Well, I’m not worried, I’m just—” You shrug, not knowing how to explain it. Price sighs and chuckles quietly before tucking your head back under his chin. 
“You’re insufferable,” He mumbles, sniffling a bit. 
“… I forgive you, by the way,” You say after a moment of silence, “I didn’t really blame you in the first place.” 
“You had the right to.” 
“Sure I did.” 
“But you didn’t blame me.”
“Right.” “…” Price stays silent for a moment before pressing another soft kiss to the top of your head and saying quietly, “You should blame me.” 
“Maybe,” You mumble back, “But I won’t.” 
Later, maybe an hour later, if the others see you asleep in Price’s arms while he keeps your head tucked under his chin and rubs your back affectionately—no they don’t.
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wordsarelife · 4 months
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𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐱: 𝐢'𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲
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pairing: theo nott x fem!reader
summary: theo tries to make everything right, but it might seem to be too late. all while your brother makes an unexpected appearance and interfers with your love life
warnings: mentions of a loved one dying, car accident, trauma, underage drinking, angst
notes: feels like an eternity since i posted the last chapter lmao
previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter
one year ago
cormac had left the party an hour ago. he had just left you there, standing in the middle of the dance floor, as he bid off the passenger seat of his cabrio to a girl whose name you couldn't even remember now. all you knew was that she was sitting on the passenger seat that had been supposed to be yours.
you were drunk out your friend and had zero idea in which direction your house was. you took a look out of the window. it was raining and it would be a stupid idea to just blindly walk in one direction in the dark.
you thought about a way to get home, when a voice behind you made you perk up.
it was theo. he was taking to two guys you had never seen before. you smiled as your heart beat calmed down.
you knew theo, theo would help you.
"theo" you slurred and hiccuped.
theo did not look as happy to see you, as you were to see him.
"cormac" you hiccuped again "left me and i wanted to ask if you could drive me home?"
"i told you, he was bad news" theo rolled his eyes as the two other guys walked away.
"i know" you hiccuped "and you were right"
he nodded. his eyes already fixated on something or someone behind you.
"could you please drive me?" you asked "it won't take long, i promise"
"it would take half an hour" theo argued "we're not in town anymore. do you even know where you are?"
you shook your head and he sighed. you thought he would maybe say yes and rip you a new one on the drive home, but theo shook his head and your heart sank.
"call a taxi or something"
"please, theo" you pleaded "please, help me"
theo laughed sarcastically. "just yesterday you told me we couldn't be friends anymore, because i don't approve of your asshole of a boyfriend. so tell me, why should i do anything to help you?"
tears were running over your cheeks at this point and you could only watch as theo threw off your grip on his arm and walked away from you.
you got your jacket from the hanger at the door, before you walked out into the cold. the rain was dripping into your face, but you didn't mind. you started walking in any direction, as you took out your phone and dialed your older brother.
"leo?" you hiccuped as soon as your call was answered.
"y/n?" leo's voice was hoarse, he had probably been asleep.
"i'm sorry for calling you so late" you cried into the phone.
"is everything alright?" he was sounding a lot more awake now. "what happened?"
"cormac left me at this party and i don't know how to get home"
"i'll come and get you" he was moving around, probably getting dressed "can you find out where you are? can you send me your location?"
"yeah" you said and quickly did as he has asked. "i'll wait on the street"
"okay" he checked the location you had send "that's pretty far from mum's house, but it's not as far to dad's place, i will probably be there in ten minutes"
"okay" you said "thank you, leo"
"of course" he said, before the two of you ended the call.
you waited ten minutes, twenty, thirty, before your drunken mind decided that walk in the direction leo would probably come from. maybe he had gotten lost in the dark.
you weren't sure if it was intentional, but at some point you had just started to follow the sound of sirens that were coming from the street a few hundred meters away. the lights were making it hard to miss.
he was already dead when you arrived. the police was busy pushing back the people, but you had recognized your dad's car. and you could see his hand slipping out from under the black cloth. he was still wearing his bracelet and you were wearing the same.
your tears mixed with the rain that was still dripping from the sky. you screamed and two police officers came to check on you.
"are you alright, miss?" the man couldn't have been older than twenty-six.
"that's my brother" you cried.
he turned around to look in the direction of your eyes.
"that's my brother" you repeated. "please" you begged.
the officer helped you to stand up, before he took you by the arm and brought you into the middle of the street, where an older police officer was waiting. the younger one brought you a blanket when he noticed how much you were shivering.
"what's your name?" the older asked
"y/n" you stuttered, your eyes still fixated on leo.
"she's not older than sixteen" you could hear one of the medical assistants whisper.
"how old was he?" the other asked.
"eighteen? or nineteen?"
no you wanted to scream he's only seventeen
“where do you live?” the police officer asked.
“can’t i see him, please?” you cried. the police officer exchanged a look with one of the medical assistants, before he nodded.
you followed them to your brother, who was still laying on the street unmoving, but they wouldn’t raise the cloth. you just touched his hand and the bracelet on his arm. his hand was cold and your heart shattered even more.
“come on” the police officer said. “i’ll drive you home” you didn’t react when he softly took your arm and walked you to sit in his car. you just told him the address of your dad when he asked and watched the street as it moved past you.
he followed you to the door and you could see the smile on your dads face die down when his eyes fell on you. “where’s leo?”
“i’m sorry, sir-“ the police officer began and you blended him out. your eyes were focused on the jacket in the entryway. did leo leave it? did he drive without a jacket to get you? he must’ve been cold.
your fathers sobbing was what brought back. the police officer excused himself, before he pushed you inside the house.
“he wanted to pick me up” you said as you stared up at your father.
and then the screaming began. it only stopped when it was half past three in the night. your father send you a last look, before he told you to grab your things.
he didn’t want you to stay the night.
he stopped the car in front of your mothers house and told you to get outside.
“dad, please” you had begged, but he hadn’t even looked at you.
“i don’t want to talk to you” he had said before he drove off and left you standing in the middle of the street.
you opened the door with your key and as you walked inside, someone turned on the light.
“y/n!” your mother screamed “where have you been? you’re soaked!”
you had sat on your bed and started at the wall for what felt like days. april came to look after you, but both of you didn’t speak. the boys came, but you told april that you didn’t want to see them, so they left.
the only person you wanted to see was theo, but he didn’t come.
the funeral was beautiful, from what you could notice through tear filled eyes and april stayed close to you the entire time, clutching your hand like her life depended on it. hers didn’t, but yours maybe did.
the boys had come, all but theo and after the funeral you all had went to the lake, because it had been leo’s favorite place in the world. it had been his idea to throw together some money and buy the garage. it had been pretty run down when you found it and all of you spent half a year renovating, but in the end it was worth it.
it was the perfect place for all of you and the perfect place to practice songs for the band theo and leo had started.
before enzo, leo had played the guitar. now the band was missing a member and none of them new if it was even fair to go on.
after a few months, enzo, mattheos little brother started playing for them. they continued rehearsing in the garage, april went from time to time to watch them play, while your visits became less and less.
you didn’t want to see theo and from what you heard he didn’t want to see you either, because he stayed away whenever you were near.
weeks turned into months and what seemed like a separation for now turned into normality.
you had almost been glad when theo started talking to you again, even when it was in a malicious way. but that was safe territory, you were having a relationship that allowed both of you to not talk about everything that had happened. you could just ignore it that way.
now
theo spent his days running around his room, thinking about ways to make it up to you, to excuse his actions.
there were lines flowing through his head. a song was forming and he couldn't stop the need to sit down and write everything down, everything that you deserved to hear.
he didn't have the intention of airing out anything. he just wanted to show you what you were worth to him and how sorry he was that he had been the reason you had felt so alone. he had robbed you of your friends, he had robbed you of him, when you had needed him most.
later that day he drove up to the garage to use enzo's guitar. he wanted to feel the words, to make sure they were the right ones.
he played the first few notes, slowly and gently. before he began to sing, crossing words and adding new ones that fitted what he wanted to say better.
when he was finished he called enzo, begging him to send you a message, because you would ignore any message he would send anyway.
can you please come to the garage? please, i really need your help, it's about april
the message enzo had send made you worry. april didn't answer when you tried to call her, so you got the leo's old bike from the shed and rode there as fast as possible.
when you arrived, you walked inside quickly, searching the place with your eyes for kind of sign from enzo or april.
"hey" your eyes fell on the couch where theo was sitting.
you turned around, ready to walk back outside, but he quickly stumbled to his feet, holding your arm before you had the chance to flee.
"did you get enzo to send that message?" you asked "i thought something had happened to him or april. i was worried sick" you slapped a hand against his chest, trying to push him away.
"i know, i'm sorry"
"sorry-"
"doesn't cut it this time, i know" he interrupted "just please, sit down and listen to this"
"another song?" you huffed.
"please, y/n"
you sighed, before you sat down on the couch, you watched him walk around the keyboard, before he took the acoustic guitar and sat down across from you.
"it's called matilda" he muttered "and it's everything i want you to know"
you listened attentively as he played the chords, his voice only a whisper.
you were riding your bike to the sound of "it's no big deal" and you're trying to lift off the ground on those old two wheels nothing about the way that you were treated ever seemed especially alarming 'til now so you tie up your hair and you smile like it's no big deal
your heart beat faster when he looked up and found your eyes.
you can let it go you can throw a party full of everyone you know and not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love you don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up, mmh
your eyes filled with tears as the soft shiver in his voice and you realized that he was crying too.
matilda, you talk of the pain like it's all alright but i know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside you showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days it's none of my business, but it's just been on my mind
this song felt realer than any he had written before. it felt like everything theo wanted daddy issues to be, before it had been used in a way to hurt you.
you're just in time, make your tea and your toast you framed all your posters and dyed your clothes, ooh you don't have to go you don't have to go home oh, there's a long way to go
you can let it go you can throw a party full of everyone you know you can start a family who will always show you love you don't have to be sorry, no
you knew he was referring to the boys and april. it had taken you way too long to realize that they had been your family all this time, even during the hardest year or your life, they had tried to be close and show their love, you had just been too stubborn to accept it.
but love wasn't something that could end. not this kind of love. you had always loved them and you had always loved theo, but right now your heart was too heavy to forgive him, even if you so desperately wanted to.
"thank you" you said and theo looked up with hope in his eyes. "but did you think a song would be enough to fix everything that is broken between us?"
his heart sank and he shook his head.
"i tried to ignore it these past weeks, tried to be your friend" you muttered "because it was easy, it was familiar. but it's like everything that you did this past year comes back anytime i look at you and it makes me wonder how you can say you love me when that was the way you acted"
"i hated myself for what i did" theo admitted "it was my fault that leo needed to come and get you in the first place. i could've brought you home, but i didn't want to, because i was so damn jealous and stubborn"
"why didn't you come to the funeral?"
"because i was ashamed of what i had done that night" he looked down and for a moment you were sure he was gonna grab your hand. he didn't. "but i'm gonna make it up to you, if you just let me"
"it's too late" you shook your head "i appreciate your effort, but it's just too late, theo. i'm sorry"
"just give us one more try" he begged "i know that we belong together"
"theo" you said as you softly touched his cheek, he leaned in, capturing as much of your warmth as possible. "it goes great for a while and then we start fighting. that's just our nature. and we're so fucking immature when it comes to the other"  
"we can make it work"
you shook your head "no we can't" you looked to the ground "you were right when you said that we weren't good for each other. it's because we're not good to each other, at least never for long"
you left the garage and took all in you to not turn around when you heard him sob. there was a part of you that so desperately needed to be close to him, but an even bigger part was just hurt at his actions. that part had been in constant pain since leo had died and you truly did not know how to get rid of that pain.
theo tried calling you about a thousand times, you didn't answer and after some time just blocked his number. he stared at your window all day, but you kept the curtains closed.
you didn’t even mind him telling dave that you would be playing pixie dream girl on saturday, it was just that he had lied to you. and on top of everything else that hurt the most.
enzo had called you too, apologizing for the way he had led you on. he also told you that he had been at the doctors and gotten his cast removed. his hand was well enough for him to play saturday, so there was no need for you to show up.
you had been happy to hear that. after all that had happened you weren't sure if you had had the strength to stand on that stage with him.
it was friday, one day before the concert, when you sat down on the floor of your room and your hands went under the bed, pulling out leo’s box. you were looking for one of his photos, your favorite one of him and you, but you couldn’t find it.
“where is it?” you muttered, as you got back on your feet and looked around the room.
maybe it was downstairs. maybe it was in his room. maybe your mother had took it.
you walked down the steps slowly and carefully, as to not wake her.
leo’s room looked like it always did. it was organized, everything was were it was supposed to be. it had looked like that ever since he had moved in with your dad and only spent the weekends in here.
you walked around the bed and to the shelves where a few photos were displayed. you and him, him and the rest of the band. photos from your childhood, from summer at the lake, from band practices and late nights spend renovating the garage.
you opened the drawer that was filled with his clothes. parts of him that were still here, while he was so far gone.
you didn't find it and your eyes just slipped past your mother when you left the room. before you could continue your search in the livingroom, the doorbell rang.
"go away, theo" you said loud enough for him to hear through the door.
"it's me" a voice said "matt"
you opened the door and it was indeed mattheo who was leaning against the wall.
"if theo send you, you can tell him-"
"he didn't" mattheo interrupted, before his hand went to the back pocket of his trousers and he held a small box in your direction.
it had been wrapped and looked like a birthday gift.
"what is that?" you asked suspiciously.
"it's from leo" mattheo explained "he made me keep it, because you always searched his things for presents, remember?"
you did. you had always done that. it had been a way for yourself to try and react the best way to the gifts you were getting.
"it's from a year ago" mattheo continued "he made me keep it from you. i would've given it to you sooner, but i honestly forgot about it. i just found it because i had to clean out my drawer"
"which drawer?"
"i'd rather not say"
you nodded.
your birthday had been just a few days after the accident. april had baked you a cake and you had spent the day with her, laying in your bed, eating cake and watching movies. it was probably the saddest birthday you had ever had, mostly because you felt leo's absence extra hard.
he had loved birthdays. and he had loved giving gifts.
"thank you" you said finally, as you took the box from his hand. "do you know what's inside?"
mattheo nodded. "i don't want to tell you what to do"
"then don't" you smiled, ready to close the door, but mattheo wouldn't let you go so easily.
"yeah, but i will" he grinned "what happened was pretty messed up, okay? everything with your mum and dad.. theo acted like a fucking idiot and i'm not saying you should just forgive him, but just- both of you should stop punishing yourselves for something that wasn't your fault"
"matty-"
"just because leo died doesn't mean you owe him something" he continued "none of you is at fault for that. it was that fucking drunk driver okay? you and theo aren't cursed or anything and leo wouldn't be angry if you just stopped beating yourself up for something you had no control over"
"i appreciate-"
"just watch what's on this" he tapped the box "then we can continue this argument"
you finally nodded and watched as he walked back out to the street, he waved at you before you closed the door.
despite the uneasiness, you slowly opened the box. in there was just a dvd. you raised your eyebrows. leo had been a bit old school with these things.
you walked into the living room, turning on the dvd player and putting the dvd in, before you started the video.
"hey, y/n" leo was sitting right where you were now. "happy birthday! hopefully you like my present, at least you definitely need it. it's fine if you really like cormac, but don't forget us and uh, don't forget theo, hm?"
what followed was a black screen and then laughter, your laughter. a video started playing. your were chasing theo around the lake, while you could hear leo cheer you on behind the camera.
before you could start to wonder, music started playing and not just any music. about you, theo's unreleased song. so leo had known about it, about the song and probably also about the way theo had felt.
you began crying as other videos followed. leo and you trying to hit the last two bowling pins and failing. mattheo, enzo and you as you tried to make a human pyramid. laughter was heard all throughout as draco, blaise, april and you ran a race that you and april lost by far.
there was a video april had taken of you during practice, as you had sat on the ground before the band. your eyes had been fixated on theo the entire time. you didn't even know this video existed.
"who's taller?" theo asked into the camera. "what do you think?" the camera swung to leo, who smirked.
"you or her?" he pointed between you and theo. "is that a serious question?" your brother laughed and the camera swung back to you, making a face and crossing your arms.
"you're just saying that, because you like him more than me" you muttered with fake offense.
"never" leo laughed, before he pressed a kiss to your cheek, which you immediately rubbed off.
the last video was one of you all sitting at the fire. theo was playing the guitar and you were sitting next to him, watching his every move.
leo turned the camera around. "they're in love" her whispered with his mouth close to the lens, before he turned the camera back at theo and you and zoomed in on you, as you sang along to the song theo was playing. "theo doesn't want to admit it to me" leo continued "but she is his pixie dream girl" you could hear him laugh about the joke to himself as the video ended.
that's where theo had gotten the song title from. someone must've showed him the video at the campfire, maybe that was what tempted him to write about you.
"he was happy in his last months, wasn't he?" you almost shrieked as you suddenly heard your mother speak. you turned your head. she was standing behind the couch and she looked unusually awake. her face was as tear stained as your cheeks and you nodded.
"he was" your eyes fell on the on the photo she was holding pressed to her chest. she followed your eyes and sighed.
"i'm sorry" she exclaimed "i found it in your room and took it. it wanted to have my children near me and i always loved this picture of the two of you. i was about to give it back"
"it's alright, mum" she was so clear all of a sudden.
"come here, baby" she sat down beside you and opened her arms, so you could crawl under the blanket next to her. "i missed you"
"you did?" you asked surprised.
"i know it's my own fault" she said "i shut you out. you didn't deserve the way i treated you, i'm so sorry"
"mum" you muttered. "it's alright"
"no it's not" she pressed a kiss to your head "i will get healthy, okay? i promise. i lost my son that night, but my daughter is still here and i have to become a better mother"
"it was my fault" you whispered "that's why you got so sick"
"oh, baby" she shook her head "it was never your fault, i should've gotten help for myself immediately, but i just wanted to be alone. i never wanted you to feel like anything that happened that night was your fault and i was wrong to worry you, to let you feel like you had to get through this alone"
"i wasn't alone" you assured her "i had april"
"and theo right?" your mother pointed to the paused picture of you and theo at the campfire.
"theo and i don't really talk anymore"
"why not?" your mum asked surprised "you were always so close"
"we started falling out before leo's death and after that we didn't really talk to each other anymore" you explained "we became friends again, but he did some pretty hurtful things"
she looked at you expectingly, waiting for you to continue.
"he wrote a few songs about me and he messaged dad"
"oh" your mother breathed, before she cleared her throat "do you think you'll ever be able to forgive me?"
"there's nothing to forgive, i was never really angry" you admitted "i just felt so alone"
"i know, sweetheart" she nodded "i promise i will make it up to you" she nudged your arm "but if you're able to forgive me after all the horrible things i did to you these past months, don't you think you will be able to forgive him too?"
your eyes fell on the tv. you thought about the way theo's and your eyes connected and you thought about what leo had said.
they're in love.
"yeah" you nodded "maybe i will"
authors note: what do you guys think? should pixie forgive theo? :)
taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy
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marleyybluu · 8 months
Text
Glasses
Husband!Oscar x black!wife!reader
Word count: 2k
Content warning: fluffy fluffy, Oscar is a stubborn husband, a little sexy flirtatiousness at the end, just your typical married couple and we love it, reader is hot for Oscar and his glasses (I mean I would be too tf)
A/N: bare in mind that i don’t have glasses idk how the process goes lmao I just made shit up so sorry if it’s not accurate I guess. Who cares we’re in make believe land rn
Sorry for typos && bad translations if any
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(I know these aren’t glasses glasses but… you get it lmao)
"Mama..." Rafa says poking your arm, you look down at him and smile. "Yes?"
"Why is Dad making that face?" He asks pointing over to Oscar who's holding his phone down in his lap with his head tilted up slightly so that he can see the screen better. You shook your head. That old bastard was a stubborn one. You have noticed for months now that Spooky is squinting to read everything, he's holding things at certain angles just the see the words correctly. He even has the kids reading things for him when he flat-out can't make out any of the words.
And of course, you've confronted him about it, saying if he wanted you could schedule an appointment with an optometrist and get his vision checked but he tells you— "No, mamita, I'm fine."
Stubborn Jack ass.
You roll your eyes and sigh dramatically. "Mi hijo, maybe you can talk some sense into your big-headed father. Because he won't listen to me." You say loud enough for your husband to hear. He grumbles and looks over at you, so tempted to say something disrespectful but your son is there. You wiggle your eyebrows taunting him.
"Papa, I think you need gafas."(glasses)
Spooky breathes heavily like a dragon, you swear smoke comes out of his nose too. "Mira, baby, let me just take you to check your eyes. If I'm wrong I'll eat my words and do anything you want."
His ears perk up at the offer. "Anything?"
And you knew what that tone meant. Spooky had been asking for another baby sooner rather than later but you constantly rebuttal with the fact that your third child, Emilia, was only a year old and you refused to have two under two. "Yes, anything." You reply confidently knowing you'd win this battle. He says it's a deal and you smile proudly keeping a reminder to make his appointment later.
-- --
In the days leading up to the appointment, he swore up and down that you'd be wrong, that you'll soon be walking around with a round belly all over again and he couldn't wait to see it. You remain quiet and shrug, occasionally giggling at how cocky he was about this.
After dropping the kids off at your mom's, you two head over to the Optometrist. You're pleasantly greeted by the woman at the front desk who asks you who the appointment is for. Oscar finds himself a seat and huffs like a child. You roll your eyes and mention his name. "I'm assuming you made the appointment." She smiles light-heartedly. "That obvious?"
"Trust me, I've got one at home whose chain I have to pull to even get him to the doctor. They're all like that."
You giggle and look over your shoulder at him as he pouts and looks at his new shoes. The receptionist says she'll let the doctor know you two were there and be back to guide you to a room. You take a seat next to Oscar who immediately puts his hand on your thigh, squeezing at your supple flesh. "So, what do you think the next baby will be? I hope it's a boy, I can't lie."
"Will you shut the fuck up? You are not winning this bet, Diaz."
He looks around before trailing his hand up your dress, your eyes widen when his fingers brush over your panties. "Who you talkin' to like that? Don't let this bet get you fucked up."
You swallow your attitude and shrink in the chair, he removes his hand and gently kisses your temple. Maybe he'd get another baby out of you regardless.
It wasn't long before you two were called in. Once in the room, Oscar was told to sit in the chair that was hooked up to everything while you sat in the extra chair not too far from them. He starts by asking Oscar about his medical history; and if anyone in his family has problems with their vision but he says, "Not as far as I know."
You watch as he's asked to read the chart across the room and he instinctively squints, you cover your mouth to stop your giggles.
Even with the act of squinting he ends up getting a lot of them wrong.
He's tested furthermore and, honestly, it was not looking too good. He was struggling so much that it was truly getting to him, his nails scape at the jeans over his knee caps-- taps them once in a while whenever he lets out a frustrated sigh. You were beginning to feel bad for him, wanting to whisper the letters to him so he didn't feel so... shitty.
The lights in the room turn on and the optometrist sits in his chair. "Mr. Diaz, unfortunately, I do think you'll need some prescription glasses. You are more farsighted in your right eye than you are in your left. The left eye seems to be fine for now. So, I will put in an order for a pair of lenses and when they're ready we'll give you a call to pick out the frames."
Oscar sighs, he sounds so defeated. You two thank the doctor and make your way out of the office building and back to the car. He sucks his teeth while buckling his seatbelt, he crosses his arms and waits for you to put the car in drive but you don't budge. "Why are you acting like this?"
He shrugs. "Let's just go."
"No. What are you upset about?"
"I'm old."
There was a moment of silence, took you a a minute to realize he was serious. "I'm old, mama. I can't see shit, I'm tired, I'm cranky. I'm fucking old. Next thing you know I can't play with my kids, can't play Fútbol con Rafa, dios mio." (Soccer with Rafa, my God)
He was genuinely spiralling. "Papito, I hate to break it to you but we're supposed to get old." You say to him but it (obviously) doesn't help.
"Lo sé, mi amor, pero, they still have to make it to middle school and high school, I gotta see them through college."
"Who says you won't? Mi marido, (my husband) we will be there for all of their events, for all the big changes. We will still be there when they all leave the nest to create their own, and when they come back to visit." You reassure. "I'll still be next to you in a rocking chair. We are not going anywhere, anytime soon. Entiendes? No hay prisa." (Understand? No rush)
He nods, still pouting. You lean over and plant a loving kiss on his lips. "If you ask me you will make a sexy Abuelo. Glasses and all."
"En serio?" A little bit of confidence coming back to him.
"Sí, papi chulo." You purr pulling him in for another kiss. "You know we have a lot of time before we got to get the kids." He grumbles his lips travelling down your neck. "Let's go before you get us in trouble in this parking lot."
He shrugs. "Wouldn't be the first time."
You laugh. "I know, I don't want to relive it."
-- --
Days passed and Oscar finally got the call to pick up his lenses and choose the frames, you offered to go with him but he said he wanted to surprise you. You'd been waiting all day excited to see what would walk through the door.
You sighed flipping through the selections on Prime, the house was quiet with the kids either distracted or sleeping and you were bored-- until you heard the car door slam shut and his keys jingle right outside the door. The door swings open but he doesn't enter, not yet. He calls out for you and when you answer all too eagerly he chuckles at your excitement. "You been waitin' on this all day?" He asks.
"Yes, hurry the fuck up." You rush. He appears from behind the door and stands with his arms slightly open. "Cómo me veo?" (How do I look?) He asks. Your eyes widen and your jaw slacks. They were simple black frame glasses, they weren't obnoxiously thick or oddly small, and they were good enough to fit him. You sit up on your knees and lean over the back of the couch. "You look... good. Muy guapo, papito." You slur feeling a heat spread in your lower belly. His eyebrows raise in surprise, he knows that look anywhere.
"Quierida..."
"Oscar... " You had the filthiest line ready for him to hear until a pair of footsteps descended from the steps. "Whoooooa! Elliana, Mira! Papa got glasses!" Rafa announces rushing down the stairs to get a better look and shortly another set of little feet made their way over. The two children were so interested in what was on their father's face and how different he looked. "Can you see better?" Elliana asks and he smiles giving her a sweet kiss on her head. "Sí, mi corazón. Thanks for asking."
Rafa turns to you. "Mama, doesn't Dad's glasses look cool?"
Their eyes were on you but you could feel the taunting nature of your husband's eyes. "Yeah... mhm, he looks... they look-k good." You stammer causing Oscar to smirk.
He had seemingly found an upper hand on you with these glasses and he wasn't afraid to use it over the next week. He had them on even when he didn't need them to see that look on your face— the lust, the adoration— your pupils seem to expand whenever you see him in those spectacles. He just looked fucking hot.
It was the best when he walked around in his grey sweats, alone, with no shirt. Just his tattoos and glasses to complete his look and you ate it up every time. You tug on your bottom lip as you paint the picture in your mind. But why imagine, when you can just go see. The house was quiet, all the kids were sound asleep, you shifted out of bed as carefully as you could to not wake Emilia. Once you are successful you grab the baby monitor and creep downstairs, the television is off and the whole first floor is dark-- the only form of light shines through the windows courtesy of the moon. 
"Why the fuck would you do that!?" 
Ah yes, of course, he was in his habitat. The basement. You sneak your way down to see that the ceiling light is off and he just has the ones around his monitors on, though they are bright enough for her to see where she's going. His back is turned and he's so zoned in that your presence goes unnoticed for quite some time. You cross your arms and dramatically clear your throat to let him know you're here. "Yall give me a minute, wifey is here." You can hear the collective; "Hi wifey!" "Hola señiorita!" "What's good Mrs. Spooky?" 
You smile and greet them right back before he mutes his mic. "What's up?" He spins his chair to give you his full attention. "Emilia's awake?" 
You shake your head. "No, she's still sleeping. Just came to hang out." Your eyes ogle the print in his sweats. He follows your line of sight and chuckles. "You sure?"
"Mhm." You swing your leg over his legs and perch yourself on his lap. "I mention how fucking good you look in these glasses?" You purr leaning in. "They havin' an effect on you, ma. That I can see." He hums ghosting your lips with his. "And that's why you should listen to your esposa (wife)more." 
Your lips finally meet and it's not long before you two are practically nibbling at each other with a mutual desperation to end the sexual tension that's been created over time. "Let me hop off the game-" 
"No, it's okay. They can't see you right?" You smirk gnawing at his jaw. "No, they can't."
You reach between your bodies and slide your hand into his sweats. Oscar reaches up to adjust his glasses and when they begin to fog up he cleans them off and reaches to put them on his desk when you stop him. 
"The glasses stay on, Diaz." 
if you liked this fic, feel free to like this fic, reblogs and comments are appreciated. peace and love, see you in the next one🤙🏾
🏷️: @darqchilddaydreamz @educatorsareslutstoo @realhotgurlshit @bigenergy777
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gothlute · 5 months
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Since you said it was okay to send you asks about Lute (and I really wanna talk about her ajshgs): do you have any headcanons for her as a character, fallenwings and/or guitarspear? :)
Also, as a doodle idea: fallen angel Lute!
I love this so much!!!!
Okay so the fallen angel Lute doodle will be done a bit later since I ordered a graphic tablet and I wanna draw it on it. I'll tag you!
Ive already made a post about Guitarspear headcanons too :D I might post more if I get ideas!
___________________________________________
Lute headcanons.
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• Metalhead & likes goth music
• Had an emo phase, obviously, tho she won't admit it
• She's REALLY into music, either listening to it or making it. Adam and her make music together! She can sing and kinda play drums (tho she's a begginer)
• Her favorite bands is Type O negative
•Her favorite colors are black and red
• Super picky eater, and so is Adam
• High IQ, and possibly autistic, she gets told to get tested a LOT but she doesnt want to
• Is SUPER good at make up, she does her eyeliner super fast
• Very very good at strategy games. She's overall very smart and learns fast. The kind of kid to learn how to read super early and then get pissed at other kids because they can't do it
• Super serious most of the time, but the most unhinged mf with Adam because she trusts him deeply. She actually makes almost as much dirty jokes as him when it's just the two of them
• Both bi and homophobic : she was raised in a SUPER religious family and feels attraction to girls but is deeply ashamed of it.
• Had a situationship with Vaggie, but had too much internalized homophobia for it to work. She's SUPER bitter about it
• Pretty interested in mythology
-She's pretty muscular and very strong, she works out a LOT and pretty much all gay exorcists have/had some sort of crush on her (and everyone's aware of it except for herself)
• Wears a band shirt and black sweatpants like 50% of the time when out of uniform
• She would LOVE the Saw movies. They have gore, interesting lore and she'd love to learn about all the traps (she would wanna try them on demons LMAO)
___________________________________________
Now let's dive deeper into the Lute and Vaggie part.
Fallenwings headcanons (sorta)
!!CW interalized homophobia
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I don't believe Vaggie and Lute dated. I do think they had something going on though.
To begin with, I think Lute is bisexual, with INSANE. amounts of internalized homophobia and religious guilt. She's plain homophobic, and thinks it's a sin, while ignoring the part of her that likes it. It has been easy at first because she wasn't into ONE specific girl.
But when she started liking Vaggie, everything was way harder. Her feelings were too hard to ignore. She felt genuine physical attraction, to the point where training with her was getting hard. Everything was complicated.
And Vaggie felt this way too. She started flirting with Lute, and even though she felt painfully guilty about it, she gave in.
They kissed a copious amount of times (never in public), slept together almost as much, and genuine feelings were developping for both of them.
But Lute's self hatred was only getting worse, and it was getting in the way. She would rather die than make their relationship official (though let's be honest you'd have to be blind to miss the sexual tension during training), and Vaggie had to constantly remind Lute that it was okay, that it didn't make her a sinner.
She didn't believe it.
She sometimes pushed Vaggie away when she initiated any contact, even chaste and friendly, and got very cold and disgusted to talk to her. Because after all, she's gay.
Vaggie tried to be as understanding as possible, but it was getting too far.
Her and Lute got into an argument.
Vaggie was like "this is stupid, you insist that we hide when we see eachother, you seem uncomfortable and it's clear that you don't really like me SO we should probably just stop". She wasnt that mad just a bit annoyed and sad
Except Lute took it very badly, and got VERY defensive and mad, because Vaggie was right. She got mean and lashed out on her, Vaggie left and they just...stopped talking
Basically, Vaggie thinks Lute used her to "try it with a girl" while Lute had actual feelings, and she HATES Vaggie because she let her see her weaknesses and thinks she's disgusting for making her fall for her!! She was a lesbian after all.
+ She betrayed heaven and it was OVER. It was the proof Lute was waiting for, proof that Vaggie was just a filthy sinner, disgusting, that she deserved to rot in hell, and that Lute's little phase was over, probably a test from God she passed.
Sometimes, Lute still dreams of the filthy sinner, of her sweet words and the warmth of her embrace. She still feels all warm when seeing two girls kiss, she still gets jealous. But she knows better than to indulge in those feelings now, she's a warrior.
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hunterbunter3000 · 2 years
Text
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.We're Just Buddies.
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Summary: Bakugou's girlfriend is making him feel things and he goes to confront her about it. Sucks that they're bad feelings.
Katsuki Bakugou × black!reader
Notes: Damn how do I suck at summary's as well? LMAO I DONT WRITE ALOT PLS HAVE MERCY this has been in my drafts for a while and its pretty short, so why not-- also why do I WRITE him so much he's not even my favorite🤨 (am I lying to myself rn🫠) ALSO REALLY SUPER SORRY THAT I'VE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG
Warnings: jealousy, insecure Bakugou, suggestive talk and action so JUST TO BE SAFE 18+ MDNI college au(?) Its so quick tho, adult lovers Bakugou is in his 20s and so is reader, hurt/comfort, little drabble of sub!Bakugou because g o d that has me on a chokehold, mention of Kaminari x reader, Bakugou being treated like the princess he is
Reader: black, female, she/her pronouns, use of quirk but it's unamed, same height as Bakugou, bit of a dom!
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"Do you like him?"
Bakugou breathes heavily when that question seethes from his mouth. His eyes shielded by his blond hair, not wanting to look his girlfriend in the eyes when she answers the question that has been haunting him for the past month.
"Uhm.." She chuckles. Bakugou dragged her into their bedroom to ask a vague question? "What? Bakugou, what are you talking abo--"
"Do you. Like him." His voice almost cracks, but he wants to keep up his angry facade. No, he needs to. He can't cry in front of her.
She blinks as her face contorts into confusion. "Baby, you're gonna have to be more specific."
Fucking hell. Bakugou grinds his teeth. Does she want to torture him? This is already hard enough, he can't take much more if his heart is already breaking.
"Fuck! Denki! Denki fucking Kaminari! The yellow bitch who you always hang around, the guy who makes you laugh so much, the guy who you're always smiling with!" He yells out. His clenched fists are trembling, just like the rest of his body. Let's dub it as trembling with anger.
Her eyes grow wide. Oh, he's serious about this. "Bakugou--"
He interrupts her again. "Do you like him or not!?"
She sees the desperation and hurt in his bright saffron eyes. His thin eyebrows knitted together, making crevasses in his forehead. A moment of silence passes through the air, making it hard for Bakugou to breathe.
Her face stays neutral, yet her eyes are soft. Soft enough for Bakugou to see the truth. "Not the way you're thinking, no. I don't like him like that."
He doesn't believe it.
She smiles and walks closer to him to rub his arms in comfort. "We're just buddies! I--" He steps back from her, eyes going unfocused.
"Bullshit. I see how he looks at you. Like you made the fucking sun and life itself. And you just-- let it happen! I--"
"Katsuki."
That two-syllable name carried so much power, it made him shut up immediately as her velvety voice sliced through his mind. She never calls him by his first name unless she means business. And she means business.
He looks up at her, now sitting on his bed like a goddess on her throne. She does things effortlessly and gracefully. It makes sense for Denki to fall in love with her. She has him around her finger, just like Bakugou.
She taps beside her, beckoning Bakugou to sit next to her.
"Come."
Bakugou frowns. "Y/n, no." His voice betrays him, making it to be weak and cracked. She says it again, with just the same soft force she uses every time someone doesn't listen to her. "Come here."
He lets out a shaky breath and trudges slowly to her. He plops down next to her, her addictive scent taking over his mind. He always felt safe and small next to his girlfriend. And he feels it now; but he also feels like he's in trouble.
She puts her hand on his naked shoulder, goosebumps already forming from her gentle touch. "Remember what we talked about? About voicing our feelings better?" She says. Bakugou remembers. Instead of killing his vocal cords and exploding everything in anger like he used to do when he was younger, she taught him how to have better communication skills. Not just with her, but with everyone. He's gotten better. But it's just so easy to go back to the old habits.
Bakugou nods.
She hums. "I understand that you're mad. But, please. Talk to me like an adult. Not a kid."
That's right. They're not kids anymore. They're grown now. In college. Owning a shared apartment. Owning a car. Paying bills. Being pro-heroes.
And with a situation like this, it's best to have a sit down and talk about it thoroughly.
Bakugou breathes out. His fingers playing with each other. He's so tense you could throw a boulder at him and it would break. The quiet makes both of them feel on edge, but Bakugou needs to find the right words.
"When we go over to the dorms, and I see you and Kaminari play those stupid ass games," He can feel the anger bubble up again. He won't let it take over, so he clears his throat and takes a deep breath. "And I see you leaning on him, and how..."
It hurts him to say this.
"--Natural, it looks... I get this pit in my stomach that doesn't go away. Even if I leave the room, it's still there. It lingers for a long time. And then I get those thoughts in my head. That I'm not good enough for you. That I'm not caring, or attentive, or funny enough for you to act like that around me. I just... I get so jealous and angry that he--" He sniffs, nose getting runny. He can feel it. The tears welling up in his eyes. "That he might take you away from me. And I don't want that to happen. You- you mean everything to me. I love you so much and I'm sorry if I'm not good enough for you--"
A deep kiss stops him from finishing that sentence. He closes his eyes and melts into it, feeling at home.
"Don't you dare say that about yourself. Ever. Do you understand?" She frowns at him, hurt across her face because he said those horrible things about himself. He whimpers a little and nods. Her hands go up to his face and cradle his cheeks.
"Katsuki, baby, you are enough for me. You're honestly way more than I can ever imagine." She chuckles. She searches for his eyes, and when she finds them she smiles. Eye contact means everything to her. It's the doorway to the soul, and words have more meaning when you look into someone's eyes. "You're perfect for me. Your mind, your body, your soul. Everything. And also, Denki is my friend! I've known him since middle school. I've told you this."
Fuck.
His cheeks start to burn. "Oh. Right. I-"
"Forgot? Mhm, I can see that. But I understand where you're coming from. I have been hanging out with him more than I thought. And I forgot about my darling boyfriend." She kisses his forehead and draws him in for a hug. His arms go around her waist immediately as he molds into her. "I'm sorry, baby. Please voice how you feel more." Her voice is laced with care and sincerity. She cares for me. He thinks. He screws his eyes closed and sighs.
She loves me.
"I will. I will, I swear. I just- I missed you. S-so much." He whispers. Who knew a hunk of a man can shrink down to a vulnerable boy.
Bakugou sniffs, tears now falling on his cheeks. "You just do so much with him... I thought I felt you slipping and I panicked--" She shushes him delicately while massaging his scalp. That action always made Bakugou calm down and find serenity. He cries some more into her chest until she pulls away and looks at him.
"Baby I do such little things with him. He's not my focus." She coos. She bumps her forehead on his before whispering these words that made Bakugou's heart soar.
"You are."
Their lips connect in a deep, passionate kiss. All the insecurity splatters away from his mind. She loves me.
She loves me. She loves me. She loves me.
"Answer me this, Katsu. Who do I kiss every waking moment?"
He gulps. "Me."
She hums. Her legs drape over his lap, big hands going to her supple hips quickly.
"Who helps me when I have trouble doing my homework?" She slowly pushes him on the bed, neither of them breaking eye contact.
"Me."
Now laying on the bed, her nimble fingers go under his tank top. The weight of her fingerpads and the slight scratch from her nails feels heavenly.
"Who do I give presents to?" She says lowly, the moonlight hitting her skin perfectly.
Bakugou can't breathe. He can feel himself submitting to her. He's not complaining. "Me..."
She starts to peck his neck with soft kisses, making him groan.
"Who do I cuddle with at night when we sleep?"
He breathes heavily. "M-me."
They both lowly moan against each other. Her lips still kissing his searing skin, and her hands still caressing him. The tank top flew off somewhere, now his tanned skin now on display. Her fingers feel up his waist, his abs and his chest. Bakugou relishes in the feeling of being touched like this.
And being kissed like this.
He stifles a moan when she places a hickey on his collarbone. She sighs and whispers in his ear.
"Who do I pleasure almost everyday?"
He bites his lip and whimpers, tears forming in his eyes again.
"Me...!"
She giggles when his voice goes up an octave as she tweaked his nipples. It always made his brain turn into mush. Her hand cradles his blushing cheek.
"Who's name do I scream out at night?"
His heart feels like it's going to burst out of his chest. The teasing, plus this? Soul is gone.
His face turns into a shy emotion; eyelashes fluttering. "Mine..."
She smiles widely.
"Exactly. I am yours."
She kisses his lips again, like forming a signature for a contract.
"And who's name do you cry out when you're getting fucked?" She let's out a breath when she feels his hips buck into her. He lets out a broken whine.
"Y-yours."
She kisses him again, but with more force. More tongue. She's signing the contract again, and this is final. He moans in her mouth when she pulls on his hair.
She let's him breathe again, strings of saliva connecting to their lips. She wipes it off with her thumb and smirks.
"And you are mine."
Her eyes sparkle with a neon blue hue, and so does Bakugou's. He feels... different. But it's a good different. Like he can see from her eyes. And feel what she feels. He feels connected to her on such a universal level, he can't explain it.
"We belong to each other, Bakugou. We always will; ever since the first year in UA. That will never change. Understand?"
"Y-yes. I understand."
She smiles as she kisses his cheeks. Her arms go around his neck and pulls him into a hug.
"I love you, my darling baby boy. I always will." She whispers in his ear. Bakugou's cheeks heat up. His lips form into a soft smile.
"I love you too." He mumbles into the crook of her neck.
Such bliss, such peace.
Peace within him, within his mind. Bakugou's so lucky to have some one like her in his life.
After about ten minutes of comfortable silence, she speaks up.
"Denki is with Jiro and Shinso anyway. He doesn't like me like that."
Bakugou jolts. "Wait, whAT"
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Likes and reblogs are appreciated! .♡
Or something like that idk
931 notes · View notes
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re: professional writers implementing the n slur in the story, what's the nuance between okay and terrible? though i get it wouldn't go above okay...
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First, don't jump on Vinca or anon, because they made interesting points and I want to continue this portion of the conversation!
So there's a key difference here, like y'all are saying: the first question asked how I would feel if a white author wrote Black characters saying the n word to each other. That's a dynamic that is intracommunal, that I would not trust amateur and many professional white writers to do, not at all.
To put it bluntly: what you're asking about here is the hard "-er". There is a difference in usage (not that nonblack people should be using either term!)
When someone is using the hard "-er", there's no ambiguity about it. It's being used as a slur, point blank. You understand as the viewer/reader that they're being violently racist. It's supposed to elicit a negative response. So Vinca, when you mentioned how it upset you that a white NPC threw that word in GTA at a Black character, you were supposed to be mad! You were supposed to turn around and be like "who the fuck are you talking to??" (I hope you beat their ass, it's GTA for God's sake. And the new game's in Florida? It'd be weird if it weren't lmao)
There's a lot of professionally made, historical media where it's used- 12 Years A Slave comes to mind most viscerally. Can't really make a movie based off an autobiography of a Black man (Solomon Northup) who experienced/witnessed slavery, r*pe, and the human trafficking and mutilation of Black bodies without mentioning the racism of those perpetuating it. It was an integral part of such a violating experience, part of the dehumanization.
So if you're writing something with racists, it wouldn't be "wrong" per se. White people can write about White racists. That being said, you shouldn't have to let the whole word come out to drive home the severity. Have some tact! You're going to look quite sus if I see the hard "-er" all over your work, especially if nothing else in your writing (or about you as an author tbh) suggests you understand antiblack racism outside of "they used a slur!"
The writing should drive home just how deeply in danger your Black character is, and how they're feeling- racist white people rarely just say that word suddenly. Their behavior is gonna indicate that a Black person is in danger, often long before that word drops. I've walked into rooms before and clocked the threat in seconds. And while the use of the slur is very much White history too... I'm not sure that a white author can depict the response of a Black character without having Black peers and having done their research and understanding more than just "they were racist!" Think about your Black readers- they're going to certainly feel some type of way seeing it! If Black readers feel like it wasn't handled with care or understanding for the character or them.... 😬😬😬😬
In summary, If they're not... Aware enough or educated enough on antiblack racism and how we have to navigate these situations- and trust, it will reveal itself in the writing- no, I do not think white authors should be wielding such a strong word to drive home their point.
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pansysbbg777 · 3 months
Text
— how i mini-shifted for the first time
so, the first and only time i shifted was about two years ago (i took about a one and a half year break from shifting which is why i haven't made much progress since then LMAO) when i had a streamer dr. i'm not exactly sure what lead to this happened, but i can tell you all that i did before and during trying to shift.
method: the lucid dreaming method
how, you ask?
living in my imagination :: i was really adamant on shifting there and probably tried to shift there for four, maybe five months? my thoughts were constantly consumed with that dr, i was always imaging it and thinking of scenarios, etc. all the damn time.
reality checks :: i wasn't really consistent with this but checking to make sure i wasn't dreaming - trying to put my finger through my palm, counting fingers on each of my hands, clamping my nose shut and trying to breath through it, etc.
recording my dreams :: since i was using the lucid dream method, i decided to record my dreams upon waking up - i'm not 100% sure why you're supposed to do this, so don't quote me on this, but recording your dreams consistently helps you remember them better, and when you wake up and think back on your dream, you can recognize what things in that dream can tell you that you're dreaming and not actually awake
i probably lucid dreamed approximately three or four times before i successfully shifted through a lucid dream. how exactly did i shift through my lucid dream? it was two years ago so i can't recount exactly, but here's what i remember:
once i went lucid, i immediately closed my eyes and began to affirm that i would shift to my streamer dr through my lucid dream
it was very quick into affirming that i suddenly felt pulled and when i opened my eyes, i was floating in this black void of nothingness for a moment - it all felt very hazy and dreamy
suddenly, i began to hear someone calling my name ("chloe? chloe wake up!")
and i started to "actually" open my eyes in my dr - everything was really blurry and it slowly came into focus; i could see parta of my dr bedroom, much like how i imagined it (beige walls, mahogany bed posts, other blurred out wooden furniture in the distance)
i could see someone's arm in front of me, gripping my arms and shaking me awake (it was my s/o, i know it was him because while i couldn't see his face i could see the distinctive tattoos on his arm and i could recognize his voice)
i felt really panicked because like WTF THIS ISN'T WHAT IM USED TOO and i felt my dr slip away and i woke up in my cr bed
so yeah, i hoped that helped some people <33
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fluffytheocelot · 6 months
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Hello it’s extremely late oops. Did not realize how long this thing would take (28 and a half hours apparently according to procreate lmao) but finally, here it is!
Carmen Week Day 8: La Femme Rouge
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Holy crap that was a lot of characters! For day 8 I wanted to draw all the ways I've drawn/imagined Carmen over the last 5 years! There are many I didn't do for one reason or another, but it mainly boiled down to space lol. These 10 (11 including canon Carmen) are (most) of my favorites of my AUs :)
this turned out so cool im putting it in a frame when i get a chance lol
Info and solo drawings for each under the cut! it is. so long lol
as usual, i'll gladly answer asks about em :) i have plans to write a few for sure, but it's gonna be A While for them lol
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Cat:
Both a Warriors AU and also just my "_____ as a cat" style!
This ones a lot less fleshed out so just bear with me lol. (ATM there might only be 2 clans, ACME and VILE, idk yet lol. idk what to name em either cos stickin "clan" on the end don't feel right XD)
In the Warriors AU, Sheeppaw grows up learning 2 contradictory versions of the Warrior Code: The true one from Shadowstalk, and the VILE version from older warriors. She gets made an apprentice a couple moons early, but is relegated only to camp duties until shes 6 moons old.
She trains alongside Cracklepaw, Tigerpaw, Molepaw, Goatpaw, and Silentpaw. At her first gathering she meets another apprentice, maybe a few moons older, from the other clan: Jewelpaw. The two hit it off and become good friends (and develop little mutual crushes). Sheeppaw also sneaks out and meets a kittypet: Player, who she also becomes very good friends with.
When her mentor, the deputy, Shadowstalk fails her on her final warrior assessment she pretty much has most of the same reaction as the show, just in the WC style.
After witnessing a murder, she hightails it out of there and encounters the newly named Crackletail. Panicked, she hastily and vaguely tells him she saw something and needs to Leave.
She makes it to Players yard and lays low for a while, and he introduces her to the neighbor cats, a sibling pair named Zack and Ivy. The four brainstorm and Sheeppaw is renamed Carmen. They know they cant let VILE keep doing what they're doing. So rogue Carmen and her kittypet friends start figuring things out from behind the scenes.
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Pirate Cat:
Exactly as it says, bipedal cat world. Black Sheep was dropped off at a random orphanage in England, with a small stuffed black sheep (where she got her name). Since everybody are cats, Black Sheep isn't that atypical of a name. Sorta a mix of normal people names and cat names.
She grows up there alongside her self-appointed older brother Graham. When she's about 10-11ish she meets the princess: Julia Argent. Childhood friends to lovers letsgoo (its a recurring theme in these lol. its cute i like it).
The two eventually get together (in secret, yay homophobia and also societal status) It doesn't help that Black Sheep had a habit of getting in trouble so she could see the princess her princess.
The two get caught one night, and Black Sheep is nearly executed for "corrupting royalty", but Julia manages to talk her father down from that. Instead, she is exiled. If she ever sets foot in the kingdom after dawn, she WILL be killed this time.
Julia visits one last time, and Black Sheep promises to return someday when she finds somewhere where they can be together freely. She gives Julia her stuffed sheep to look after while she's gone, and asks her to take care of Fuega while she's gone (on one of their sneak-outs, they found a baby dragon that Julia managed to convince her dad to let her keep). Julia gives her the triangle choker. yay tearful goodbyes ;-;
Black Sheep and Graham (because no way is he letting his little sister go into exile without him) go from place to place, stealing when they need to and end up accidentally stowing away on a VILE pirate ship.
VILE pirate training to avoid death, they escape. Graham appoints the newly named Carmen Sandiego captain of their little ship, and they also pick up Zack, Ivy, and Player along the way. Carmen becomes very well known around the globe: civilians/lower class people see her as a Robin Hood hero (correct), while most royals and nobles see her as nothing but a filthy pirate (incorrect).
A few years go by when suddenly the crew gets word that the King of England is trying to marry off his daughter, who has recently come of age. Cue panicked race home + childhood lover reunion.
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Daughter of Poseidon (Carmen Sandiego and the Olympians):
Percy Jackson AU! Replace Percy with Carmen, Grover with Player, Annabeth with Julia, and switch/move around some plot points and that's about it lol. I keep telling myself I'll do some scene rewrites of this one so we'll see. Includes PJO and HOO acting as prequels for Carmen Sandiego. Def wanna do dome rewrites for the canon show for this AU too lol
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Dino Squad:
I'm out here combining one obscure kids show with another lol. If you haven't seen it, Dino Squad is this early 2000s animated show about these 5 teenagers that get mutated and can turn into dinosaurs, and go around stopping the bad guy from turning everything into dinosaurs. (I think the entire series may be on youtube lol. its goofy but man i loved it as a kid. i wanted dino powers so bad)
This is basically a high school au but most of Team Red has dinosaur powers. :P
In this, Dr. Bellum is experimenting with bringing dinosaurs back, but instead of just cloning them, she figures out how to mutate already-existing organisms into others.
(in the OG dino squad, the bad guy IS a dinosaur that evolved into a human--long story--and believes everything should still be dinosaurs. hes technically right, tbf, if the meteor hadn't hit they prolly still WOULD be dinosaurs. why does bellum want dinosaurs? because she's Bellum and she Can lol)
Carmen Wolfe and her twin brother Graham (they're fraternal twins. why? bc i thought it would be funny. yes he still has his accent. its my world i do what i want) are raised by Carlotta and Dexter Wolfe in Kittery Point, Maine. Carlotta is a paleontologist/biologist and Dexter is a history and geography teacher at the high school. They do know of VILE and what Bellum was working on and have been monitoring it in secret from the kids.
Carmen and Julia are those friends that met bc they were both hiding under the slide in like. Preschool and just stayed friends lol. They're the kind of best friends that will just. Show Up. usually Julia at Carmen's house because "You have better snacks" also Julia's parents just Don't Like Carmen. (Why? idk bc i said so. idk they think she's a bad influence. she's really not lol) Literally Julia has like a spot on the couch and a table setting. She's basically the third twin these three have known each other essentially their entire lives.
Zack and Ivy joined the group in middle school, when Ivy had the same class as Carmen, Julia, and Gray. Zack joined via association. (Zack and Ivy, on the other hand are not twins. again. bc its funny. each sibling pair thought the other was like them. zack and ivy thought Carmen and Gray were just normal siblings, and Carmen and Gray thought Zack and Ivy were twins. Julia had to explain to all of them it was not the case lol)
Player is Carmen's online friend that the whole group includes. they all game together and he gets ALL the public school tea. hes about the same age as Zack, so about a year-ish younger than Carmen, Gray, Ivy, and Julia.
At the end of their freshman year, Carmen and Julia start dating. Their friends and Carmen's parents know, they keep it secret from everyone else. At the end of the summer everybody (aside from Player) go to the beach for one last day of freedom before school starts. They swim through the mutant goo, and over the next few days discover their powers.
Carlotta IDs each dino: Carmen is a (large/person sized) pyroraptor, Gray is a T. rex, Julia is a troodon, and I still cant decide on Zack and Ivy's dino forms lol. Carlotta and Dexter explain the whole VILE thing and the group just kinda simultaneously goes "welp guess we're superheroes now. cool"
so yea dealing w highschool and also mutant dinosaurs and superpowers. this ones fun bc they can just be stupid kids lol
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The Last Wolf:
My werewolf AU. The one that started all this mess and my love for making AUs of this show. It was my first fanfic i ever wrote, and it is very near to my heart. it's also gotten out of hand and become a franchise at this point it's ridiculous. (Seriously i've got a prequel of her parents planned and also a series of shorts set in the universe) It's gonna be a long ride, boys. Hope people still like CS by the time it's done lol
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A Thief's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse:
Zombie apocalypse AU! Talked about this one a bit for AU day, and also as of this post I have ~1k words written of the first chapter! I also have a bunch of the major plot points outlined too ;) I wouldn't expect anything soon tho lol.
She wears a wetsuit under the coat bc it's really hard to bite through, especially with rotten jaws. She's got some boots she probably scavenged or traded for, and of course: the Walkman she probably found looting some abandoned building. She collects cassettes to listen to. Gotta keep sane in the end of the world.
How is this one a literal apocalypse and its still more lighthearted than the one based on FNAF lol
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Redd Wolf (Five Nights at Redd's):
FNAF AU. I've truly lost it lol. I have this one completely outlined, nothing written but a lot of things are VERY clear in my mind. This ones uh. a lot more intense than even Thief's Guide. It's FNAF. its immense violence and child death. Seriously, Carmen, Player, Gray, Ivy, Zack, and Julia all end up possessing animatronics at some point. It ends happily, but it is based off a horror thing so if that's not your thing b careful <3
its supposed to be more of a mystery that gets unraveled, but if anyone wants specifics of it u can drop an ask :) i only have animatronic designs for Carmen, Julia, and Gray so far tho. I have ideas for the others too.
This is one I wanna share with y'all at some point. its probably the shortest of the AUs I have outlined so far, so yk. maybe in this lifetime lol.
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Carmen and the Age of Wonderbeasts:
Mega Jaguar Carmen. This ones more of a ~vibe~ than an actual plot but i like drawing mega jag carm :)
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Plushie Dragon:
This one's not an AU, but actually based on doodles of these 2 plush dragons! Matching red/gold and blue/silver dragons named after carmen and julia lol. I'll get around to posting more drawings of em cause they're cute
the plushies <3 (they have spikes u just cant see em:
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ik they look goofy i lov them anyways
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Wings of Fire:
Wings of Fire AU! Carmen is a rainwing/skywing hybrid (rainwing dad, skywing mom) She can camoflauge, fly decently fast, and has a prehensile tail. She can't breathe fire or use typical venom, BUT she figures out her venom, while not face-melting by itself, IS in fact flammable. again, more of a ~vibe~ than a story and plot, but I like drawing dragons.
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Canon Carmen:
She's front and center, the one that started all this.
Way back in 2019, the autism and ADHD departments in my brain came to an agreement: This show is the greatest show of all time.
It was the first fandom I actively contributed to/interacted with. (I still read fics from other fandoms before, but had never been active in a fandom) Like I mentioned with Last Wolf, I had never actually written fanfiction before, and definitely never posted it. I love writing and telling stories (and boy howdy do I have A Lot of stories rolling around my brain). between all of the AUs ive come up with, I've gotten to practice so much worldbuilding and characterization. English classes usually focused on expository stuff, with like. a brief fiction writing thing. So I've definitely gotten to stretch my creative writing muscles with this show, and hopefully I can put em to use on original projects someday <3
I fell in love with the first season, and got ridiculously excited for every new season and the interactive. (heck, i played every possible option for the interactive the day it came out, and binged every subsequent season the day they aired.)
This show has been a big part of my life the last five years, and the original show will always be special to me. It's the reason I started learning to draw people lol, I have a drawing of Carmen from 2020 that I'm still really proud of. It's hung on my bedroom wall to this day.
So thank you, Carmen Sandiego. For everything.
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rat-n-atty · 1 month
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MEET MY SMG4 OC CLOVE!
(fucking finally)
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(Also a bit of a redesign since I kinda changed my style a bit lmao)
Meet Clove! (Enid) a 22-year-old "mad" scientist who has made the poor decision to be Smg3's assistant but who exactly is she? What's her lore? What are her goals? Why is she an Ex-villain? and all the other amazing questions you might have (or don't idk) will all be answered here!...hopefully...
"Enid Gadd" (Backstory)
Enid comes from a long line of talented and successful scientists (like her grandpa, E. Gadd more on that in a bit) but she was always seen as a black sheep of the family in short.
Ever since Enid could even talk, she has always aspired to be a great scientist just like her family but it seemed like everything she did, it meant nothing so she became E. Gadd's student when she was young (considering she was practically raised by the guy damn)
It seemed like everything Enid did though was still not enough for her parents so she said "fuck it" and decided to become someone else's assistant in hopes that she could be a better scientist than all of them and that is when Smg3 comes in...
"Clove" (assistant days)
Now, Bowser was a terrible assistant so Smg3 decided to get a new one instead so one day while Clove was just walking around the Mushroom Kingdom city; she saw a purple Mario recolor next to a stand on the side of the street with a sign that said LOOKING FOR AN EVIL ASSISTANT (WILL NOT GIVE VACATION DAYS) (why would look for one in broad daylight you dumb bitc-)
So she took her shot, lied to 3 about being "inherently evil" but she also added that she was pretty good at making bombs (which was also a half-truth) so she became Smg3's assistant from that day on.
She didn't really know what to expect at first and she thought that Smg3's main goal of being a villain at the time was kinda dumb but it was better than home so she stayed and she stayed for a long time.
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She eventually became evil and she got better at her inventions and her scientific studies all for the goal of ruling the world with Smg3 and telling her entire family (not including E. Gadd) to suck it...which now brings us to the YouTube Arc...
YouTube Arc (this is where shit goes down)
Smg3 and Clove had just started on their goals of making Snitch Productions but after Smg4 destroyed it all for no damn reason (like wtf man?) they wanted revenge and they wanted it bad (Smg3 more so than Clove)
So they came up with the anti-cast and got to work but after that failed Clove said "fuck it" and started her own projects again but she found out about the YouTube remote while she was doing her research ("The World's Cursed and definitely Powerful Objects that would destroy the world if laid on the wrong hands" (great title I know) ) So they all came up with the plan to steal it.
Things had started to take a toll after they had successfully stolen the Remote per sae because now Smg3 was drunk with power to the point where it was kinda concerning Clove a bit and this is the part where Clove found out Smg3's true intentions of using the YouTube remote; It was so much more than taking over Smg4's channel, it was deleting Smg4's and his crew's entire existence. Clove knew it was too much, even for 3 but she kept quiet about her conflicting feelings (but put a pin in this later )
A big-time skip later where Clove had actually caught Mario trying to steal Smg3's phone (to hopefully get everyone out of the graveyard, you probably watched the Arc lmao) but she betrayed Smg3 by giving it to Mario anyway and freeing the entire cast out of the internet graveyard in order to stop Smg3; Everyone was confused why but they didn't ask.
WOTFI 2020 (redemption arc begins)
The final battle was here and after Clove was revealed to be a traitor and helping the Smg4 crew, it's no wonder that Smg3 lost but he was never expecting his assistant, no...someone closest to him like a friend to betray him like that.
Since Clove was the only one who really knew how to work the remote (and she was the one who had it in her hands at the time) she was the one who sent Smg3 to the Internet Graveyard for the greater good of everybody else but now that 3 was gone...she felt like she had no meaning...no purpose anymore...
After she had gotten forgiveness from Susan, Smg4 offered Clove to stay with the rest of them at the castle but she declined and said she would just lock herself up in her lab instead.
Clove's lore goes on for ages...so I'll have to make a part 2
BI GUYS!
(update: there is a part 2)
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gothic-thoughts · 10 months
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Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy
now me personally, I don't have a mask kink but this man is just...attractive...for some reason
König x Black Fem Reader Fluff (angst?)
Medic!Reader, Mutual Pining, Drabble
CW: Ghost pops in (lmao), she/her pronouns
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I walk into Ghost’s quarters to give him his results only to freeze in place when I hear light snoring. Is he sleep? I just told him I'd be back later. I place his test results on the dresser and step around the foot of the bottom bunk to see König's giant leg hanging off, boot firmly planted on the floor. Oh! Oh. The other one was tucked under his massive thigh while his chest rose and fell evenly under his crossed arms.
What are you doing here? And how are you fitting on his bed like this? His phone was on the floor with earbuds still attached so I sneak closer, hoping he wouldn’t wake up as I pick it up. Ghost steps into the room and before he can open his mouth, I shush him.
“The fuck are you doing?” He asks in a whisper.
"I was just picking up his phone. What are you doing?"
“It’s my room. You get the results?”
“On the dresser. And like I said, you don't have any allergies."
"Bullshit."
The screen turns on, revealing his Spotify playing Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy from a playlist called "Ask Her" making me gasp softly.
"What, now?" Ghost asks.
König...likes somebody? Is it me? Way to jump to conclusions, but it's not like he talks to many people. Who could it be? He must have it bad—he even made a whole playlist with this song. I look over at him to see him lifting his hat from his eyes. Before I knew it, he was towering over me with a soul-piercing glare from the eyeholes in his mask. He grabs his phone from me, letting both headphones hang to his knees.
"Shit--"
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing, I just came to see Ghost and I saw your phone was on the floor."
"Doesn’t explain why you’re on it."
"I wasn’t. It just turned on."
König's eyes narrowed briefly before he looks away. He sighs as he stepped around me and left the room wordlessly. I look over at Ghost with narrow eyes and crossed arms.
"Gee, thanks."
"For...?"
"Backing me up there."
He shrugs, putting the papers down. “I didn’t even know what you trying to achieve to help.”
“I wasn’t going through his phone! I was just on his lock screen!”
"Looks like you were from over here.”
 I suck my teeth and lean against the bunk with a groan. He’s definitely not gonna like me now, great. Not like it'd make sense anyway, I'm a medic.
“He’ll get over it.”
I gasped, getting an idea. “So...Ghost~”
“No.”
“I- what? I didn’t even say anything.”
“You want to know who his playlist is about and no.”
"So you do know?!"
"Never said that."
"Simon--"
"Not only do I not know, I also don't care."
“That’s...fair. But it’s König.”
“Why are you so curious all of a sudden, huh?”
“Well cuz...um..."
"Because...?"
"Because who the hell could a faceless, anxious man possibly have a crush on?” I play off, “Is it someone you know?”
“What part of ‘don't know, don't care’ was confusing?”
"Ugh, fine. Whatever."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After (Y/n) leaves, I wait a bit before walking the opposite way to knock on König's door. Once I hear his muffled voice tell me to come in, I walk inside to see him cleaning his knives. I lean against the wall, watching the cloth move along the blade of his dagger as the door shuts next to me.
"Subtle."
"Shut up."
"Just saying. I think you should just tell her, you're a grown man."
"Right, because you're so good with feelings like these."
I shrug slightly, “Maybe your phone has it out for you.”
“Who’s side are you on?”
“Neither.”
He groans, staying silent as he puts down the knife and begins to clean another.
“Well, after you stomped away, she pressed me for a bit. I think she likes you too.”
“I don’t need your false hope, Ghost.”
“I mean it. She was asking me who it was about, she sounded pretty desperate—jealous if you look deep enough into it.”
“Or she's just curious.”
“She thinks it’s someone we know.”
"Ja?" He flips a knife and cleans the handle, “Well, she's not exactly wrong.”
“You have to say something eventually, I can't have you this distracted on our next mission.”
“I'll think about it.”
“Whatever, do something about it...." I start to walk out the door, "Preferably before she meets someone she knows.”
His eyes flick from the knife to me, glaringly, “Don’t put that in my head.”
“Then do something about it.”
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bloodsuckingfiends · 7 months
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More Than Enough
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Summary: Whilst at the Elfsong one evening, Tav runs into someone she would rather forget, and Astarion reminds her that she's more than enough.
Pairing: Astarion x fem!Tav
Warnings: a shitty ex who's said some not so nice things to Tav, Astarion attempting to navigate how to handle sensitive/emotional situations
Word Count: 900+
A/N: I know this is such an oddly specific idea, but that's because it's self-indulgent, and I've been thinking about how my ex told me this and it still makes me feel like shit, and I needed comfort lmao. SO, if you've ever been made to feel like an object, this one's for you
It had been a long and arduous day, from locating severed pieces of a clown, to wiping out the steel watch. The party had certainly earned a hot meal, a bath, and a drink. Emphasis on that last one.
Tav stood at the bar waiting for the barkeep to come back around, while Astarion was upstairs finishing bathing, and the rest of the party was tucked away into a corner booth. Tav could feel herself spacing out, the fatigue of the day wearing on her as she stood and leaned against the bar.
"Tav?"
She froze. She knew that voice. She wished she didn't, but she did, and quite frankly, it belonged to one of the last people she wanted to see at the moment.
"Alberich... fancy seeing you here." Tav lies, slowly turning on her heel to face the half-elf.
He hadn't changed... much. His hair is still long and black, albeit a bit frizzy, and his nose still a bit large for his face. She notices the cocky smirk on his face, and wishes she could slap it right off.
"I was just visiting, and was hoping I would see you here." His dark eyes casually sweep down briefly to look at Tav's chest before looking up again, his smirk immediately falling.
Tav felt a gentle hand at the small of her back, and the comforting presence of Astarion at her side. He could tell. He could always tell at this point, when her body language clearly read uncomfortability.
"Hello, my sweet. Who's this, I don't believe we've met before?" Astarion says smoothly after kissing the apple of Tav's cheek and locking eyes with the half-elf before him.
Tav blinked for a moment before introducing the two, "This is Alberich. We were partners for a short while, many moons ago. An Alberich, this is Astarion, my... partner." She leaned a little more into Astarion, taking comfort in how grounding his form felt against hers.
"How lovely it is to meet you." the pale elf drawls, offering a hand to a silent half-elf. Alberich merely nods in response. A rare occurrence in which he decides to be quiet for once.
"Well, I do believe Tav and I must get to bed now. Was a hard day for Tav, being a hero and all that. Not that you would know much about the subject." Astarion gesticulates casually as he speaks. "Have a wonderful evening, Alberich." The vampire gently leads Tav away by the waist towards the tavern's staircase, whilst she threw a half-hearted wave back at the stunned half-elf.
Once the two elves were in their shared room for the night, Astarion closed the door, and Tav began unlacing her corset with shaky fingers. Of course, Astarion's watchful eyes take notice.
"Little love, are you alright?" he asks in a soft manner. He had made his way over to her, resting his chin over her shoulder and wrapping his arms loosely around her waist.
Tav stiffens for a moment before relaxing into his touch, "Hmm? Oh, yes. Yes, I'm alright." Her voice sounds a bit distant, her hand letting go of her corset laces, and instead holding over Astarion's own hand to ground herself.
"Tav, I know I'm new to this whole, emotions, thing, but I'm here for you, if you should need to talk." He turns her around in his arms to face her, searching her shifting eyes. She breaks away from his hold to sit on the bed. Astarion follows to sit beside her.
"Everytime I think that I'm over it, he pops back up somehow and reminds me." her long fingers worry over the fabric of her skirt. She looks up to see a slightly bewildered look upon her love's face.
"Oh no! I don't mean like that! I've been over him in that way for a long long time. You've nothing to worry about." She give him a soft smile, taking his hand in her own. "Alberich was my first partner, in every sense. When we first got together, I was hesitant about sex, nervous. Not long into our being together, were intimate, and that was that. That is until a couple of years later." Her eyes meet Astarion's.
"He had casually told me years later, that had I not given it up soon, he would have broken it off with me. That he had thought about it." Tav swallows at the memory, and Astarion soothingly rubs her knuckles. "While I was falling in love with him, all he thought of was how he would leave me if he didn't get to fuck me soon." A muscle ticks in Tav's jaw, anger furrowing her brows. Tears prick at her eyes, and he cups her cheek in his palm.
"Now I'm sure you've been told this far too many times to even count, my dear, but he never deserved you." gently, he thumbs away the tears breaking from her waterline. "You are more than just something to be objectified. You should be cherished, and loved, and I feel honored to be the one that you chose to trust to do so. And I thank you for returning that kindness to me everyday, for showing me that it is possible." She leans forward to cling to him, her nose buried in his neck, arms holding him tight, and despite the feeling on her tears sticking his shirt to his skin, Astarion hugs her back. Holding her close to him like that evening she had hugged him after his confession back at Moonrise Towers.
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qhoaaaa · 8 months
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Milo with piercings and other features I imagine he has (and some hcs with Sweetheart hebehebeeheb)
Piercings!!/jewelry
He has them Dahlia piercings (lol) look them up they’re so cool
Has piercings on his ears, a few studs as well as a nose ring
Definitely buys different kinds of earrings and stuff to decorate his ears depending on the event
Brow piercing, especially on the right brow UGHH
They’re all gold colored, he also has some regular silver and black, has a few green colored studs as well
He’s gotta own a few gold chains (as a gold chain haver myself lmao), he keeps them in good condition
Sweetheart got him one as a gift and he teared up, kept asking them how much it was and they only said for him to not worry about it(it was expensive) - he wears it everyday and night and even in the shower
His neck sometimes gets nipped by the metal and when Sweetheart sees him bring a hand to rub at it, they ask, "Why don't you take it off?" And he says, "Eh, I don't wanna... it's from you, sure as hell I'm not gonna take it off."
Features:
Symmetrical beauty marks under his eyes (Sweetheart absolutely LOVESSS them, kisses his eyes a lot because of them), and on his cheeks too (genetics are INSANEEE)
Sharp canines,,, yesssss
Few patterned beauty marks on his shoulders
Most of his skin is just bare and smooth but Sweetheart loves when they see his beauty marks on his shoulders or his face when he’s taking a shirt off or resting
His back has a few long scars from sparring with the other wolves when he was younger, he didn’t want them healed fully, let them scar as a learning experience, Milo lets Sweetheart massage them or put a balm on them so the tissue doesn’t get weird, he feels all mushy (in a good way) when Sweetheart unexpectedly kisses down his scars (he makes sure to tell him it feels good too AWGWGW)
Really REALLY soft hands
Light chest hair (HSBSHS WORK WITH ME OKAY LET ME COOK)
Chest tattoo, it’s a singular design he made up himself (drew it and everything), it’s probably a symbol that’s important to him/his mother and his way to honor her, he has accompanying designs on his fingers
Tattoo of Sweetheart’s name on his nape (tell me that this wouldn’t look nice,, I’ll wait)
(Off topic but I saw a post where Marie and Colm have tattoos of Milo’s first paw prints of when he shifted for the first time and he would def do the same if he and Sweetheart have kids)
He and Sweetheart get ring tattoos on their ring fingers when discussing getting rings (I love that audio), they wear the actual rings on their thumbs
My personal opinion but he would not have grills ❌❌ (never liked those but to each their own !)
He has golden eyes (all wolves do and it’s just a variety of shades but his are golden golden and they’re so pretty, he wears brown contacts/Unempowereds see brown to cover the color)
Sweetheart has smile lines, they popped up after meeting and getting with Milo, Milo ADORES them
They used to hide their smile before meeting Milo, needless to say, they smile widely now, teeth and all and its the cutest to him, seeing that smile is how Milo knows that they're comfortable and relaxed and having fun
Theyre at least 6'3 , buff and curves THEY GOT IT ALL
Sweetheart works out at the gym semi regularly and Milo practically drools when he sees them and their muscles , they have long legs(LEG MUSCLES TOO) and he's all over them
Sweetheart loves his arms, no reason, they just do
They like to feel up and down his upper arms and his shoulders, he likes the touch
He has super curly black hair, got it from his mom (we love you Mama Greer) while most of his sisters have straight/wavy hair like their dad, no facial hair
He’s just reaaaaaalllllyyyty hot in general ouughhhhh 🫣🫣🫣
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