#Hate me. Things like this keep me sane. They remind me that even though I’m not seen as who I am by the outside world that doesn’t mean I

[saturdaymournings]

Playing my bass for the first time in months. Is this what being a human person feels like

[requiemforthepoets]

he drives me crazy, it’s so beyond me 𖦹 LN4

PAIRINGS: lando norris x fewtrell!reader

SUMMARY: you’ve been hating on lando for a very long time now, since you were kids to be exact. only to realize that those hatred is only a mask for what you truly feel for him.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i’ve been on a slump lately, have so many works unfinished but i don’t really have the drive to finish them lol but my break from uni is near, so maybe i’ll get the motivation to finish all of it. for the meantime, hope you’ll enjoy this one! :)

REMINDER: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.

WORD COUNT: 3.3k

WARNINGS: typos, cursing, and playboy lando

Growing up being Max’s younger sister meant that you were always surrounded by his friends, and none of them irritated you more than Lando Norris. From the very beginning, something about Lando rubbed you off the wrong way. Though you had never understood why, there was something—an inexplicable annoyance that only grew stronger with time.

As kids, you tolerated him, well mainly because Max adored him and that they are racing karts together. You can’t just tell Max to stay away from Lando for no apparent reason, that would make look like an absolute ass. But as you all grew up, Lando’s behavior began to infuriate you even more, and it just got worse when he got to F1. He began dating girls and moving on as quickly as the seasons changed, never seeming to care about the trail of broken hearts he left behind. It wasn’t just his carefree attitude towards relationships or life in general; it was the way he would tease you every fucking chance he gets. If you tripped over a pebble or on air, he’d make a joke about it. Making fun of every little thing that he would notice about you. You just couldn’t stand it, and you couldn’t stand him and his whole existence.

But somewhere along the line, something strange started to happen. With all the teasing and eye rolls, you found yourself paying a little too much attention to him. Too much for your liking. It was almost as if you were noticing the first time how his aquamarine eyes sparkled everytime he laughed, or how his curly hair seemed to suit him perfectly. It made you mad—so fucking mad that you wanted to scream. How could you, of all people, start to like Lando Norris? Your public enemy number one.

Then the realization hit you like a shit ton of bricks. You were developing a massive crush on the one person you were supposed to hate. Surprised by the sudden realization, and you being you, instead of acknowledging it, you decided to bury it deep down, covering it with even more layers of loathing. If he said something stupid, which he always does, you’d snap back at him twice as hard. If he smiled that cocky grin, you’d glare daggers at him. But inside, your heart would be pounding, and it drove you crazy. It’s pretty much a fucking miracle that you have been able to stay sane.

One day, after a particularly annoying comment from Lando about your choice of outfit, you finally snapped. “You know, Lando, if I wanted your opinion, I’d ask for it. But I didn’t, so why don’t you just keep your mouth shut for once?” Then you rolled his eyes at him. You’re going out today, you don’t need this kind of negativity. “Besides, don’t you have your own fucking house? Why are you even here?”

Lando grinned, clearly enjoying how riled up you were. “I’m just saying, those shoes look like something a hobo would wear.”

You groaned in frustration. “God, you’re such an asshole, Norris! Do you ever stop to think before you speak?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” He shot back, winking at you.

You felt your cheeks flush, and not from anger. You wanted to punch him, but at the same time, there was this insane urge to grab him by the collar and kiss him just to shut him up. But instead, you turned on your heel and stormed out of the room, muttering under your breath about how he was the most annoying person on the planet.

But then there were those moments when you saw the other side of Lando, the one that made your heart ache in a way you couldn’t even fucking explain. Like the time when he won his first race in Miami. The whole crowd erupted in cheers, everyone was celebrating his win and you found yourself smiling as he won his first race, a huge smile on his face as he celebrated. Your first instinct was to run up to him and give him a hug and tell him how proud you were. But then, almost immediately, you wanted to wrap your hands around his neck for making you feel this way. He had a unique talent for pushing all your buttons, and yet, no one could make you feel the way he did.

After the race, you all went out to celebrate, and as usual, Lando couldn’t resist teasing you. “Come on, admit it, you were impressed, weren’t you?”

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t stop the small smile from tugging at the corners of your lips. “You were okay, I guess,” you said nonchalantly.

“Okay? Just okay?” Lando feigned hurt, clutching his chest dramatically. “I expected more from my biggest hater.”

“Well, don’t expect me to start fangirling over you now,” you shot back, though your heart wasn’t really in it.

Lando just playfully winked at you, and excused himself, walking away and waving at someone else. You couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to admit it. To finally confess that maybe the reason why you hated Lando so much was because you love him in a way that no one else could. But you quickly dismissed that thought, shaking your head. There was no way you’d ever let him know how much he affected you. Not when he had the power to break your heart with a single word.

As the night went on, you couldn’t help but steal glances at him. He was the center of attention, as always, and yet, for a moment, his eyes caught yours, and he smiled. Not a teasing grin that he would always send your way, but a genuine, warm smile. It made your stomach do flips, and you quickly looked away, mentally cursing yourself for being so weak.

In the middle of the night, you found yourself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying the day’s events in your mind. You hated how he could get under your skin so easily, how he made you feel things you didn’t want to feel. It was maddening, infuriating, it drives you nuts, and yet…you couldn’t stop thinking about him. How was it possible to love and hate someone so much at the same time? You didn’t know. You don’t have an answer for the lingering questions in your mind and it drove you crazy.

“Why him?” You whispered to yourself that night, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. “Out of all the fucking people in the world, why does it have to be him?”

You knew Lando could be a major asshole, but somehow, he was your asshole. No one else could make you feel this crazy mix of anger, frustration, and affection all at once, and despite all the annoyance, deep down, you knew you loved him. It made you mad, and yet, in some twisted way, it also made sense. No one else could make your heart race like Lando did, that can make you feel so alive, so frustrated, so utterly confused—and most importantly, no else could break your heart like Lando Norris, and you were beginning to think that maybe, you didn’t want anyone else to.

It has been three months since Lando’s first win, but the tension between the two of you hadn’t eased. In fact, it felt like it was growing stronger, pulling you into a confusing spiral of emotions. It was one of those days that you were grateful enough that you were back in uni, and have to forget about him even for a short period of time.

Though it didn’t last long, you can’t stay and hide in uni forever. So here you were, officially back home for a break, and you decided to stay at Max’s for the time being. Prior to arriving from uni, Max had already asked you if you wanted to come with them on their holiday trip, but you passed on it, making up some silly excuse and wanting to get the rest you need since you haven’t had the proper rest back when you were in uni. You wanted to avoid being in the same place with him as much as possible, you definitely don’t trust yourself to keep up the charade of hating him when your heart was screaming the exact opposite.

It was when they’re already back from their trip, and as usual, Lando is at Max’s place. You found yourself in exactly in the situation you’d been dreading. Max had invited Lando over to help him with something, and you figured you could just stay in your room, far away from the inevitable teasing from him. But when Max suddenly had to leave to deal with some urgent matter, you were stuck. It was just you and Lando, alone in the living room, with a show neither of you cared about playing in the background.

Lando being Lando, of course he wasted no time in getting into your nerves. “So, how long are you planning to hide up there?” He asked, his tone annoyingly casual as he sprawled out on the couch.

“I was not hiding,” you retorted, focusing on your phone and pretending he wasn’t there.

“Sure, you’re not,” he said with a smirk. “You’ve been acting pretty weird lately. You didn’t even come to the trip that we invited you on. Is everything alright?”

You nearly choked on your words. How could you even begin to explain what was wrong—that you were utterly terrified of how much you liked him? That every time he teased you, your heart skipped a beat instead of fuming with anger? That you couldn’t fucking stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss him.

“Everything’s fine,” you lied, hoping he couldn’t see the turmoil behind your eyes. God, you just wanted for this conversation to end or better yet, wishing for the ground to swallow you whole right then and there.

“Uh-huh,” Lando said, clearly unconvinced. He leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. “You’re a terrible liar, you know that?”

Your heart thudded painfully in your chest. “Oh my god, why do you even care?” You shot back defensively. “You’re just here to annoy me, right? So why don’t you just go call someone and bother them instead?”

Lando’s smirk faded slightly, and he studied you with an intensity that made you uncomfortable. “You think I just want to annoy you?”

“Yes!” You exclaimed, frustrated by his persistent questioning. “That’s what you’ve always done ever since, isn’t it?”

Lando shook his head, looking more serious than you’d ever seen him. “No. Not really.”

The shift in his demeanor threw you off balance. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He hesitated, running a hand through his beautiful curly hair that you want to touch so badly. “It means that maybe I didn’t just do it to annoy you. Maybe there was another reason.”

You blinked, your mind racing to keep up. “What reason?”

Lando sighed, leaning back on the couch and staring at the ceiling. “God, this is harder than I thought,” he muttered to himself before finally looking at you. “Look, I’ve known you since forever. Yeah, I used to tease you because you were Max’s younger sister and it was fun. But somewhere along the way, it wasn’t just about teasing anymore. I think I did it because…I didn’t know how else to get your attention.”

Your breath caught in your throat. “What are you saying, Lando?”

“I’m saying that maybe I’ve had a crush on you for a while now,” he admitted, his voice quieter than usual. “And I’ve been acting like an idiot because to be fairly honest, I didn’t know how to deal with it.”

You stared at him in utter shock, your brain struggling to process what he’d just said. All this time, you thought your feelings were unrequited, that he was just being his usual annoying self, but now, everything was different. The anger, the frustration, the confusion—it all made sense now.

“I…I don’t know what to say,” you whispered, still reeling from his confession. “Honestly.”

Lando smiled softly, a hint of nervousness in his expression. “You don’t have to say anything, I just want you to know. I get it if you don’t feel the same way, or if you’re too mad at me for being a jerk all these years. But I wanted to be completely honest with you for once.”

The room was silent for a moment, the air thick with tension and unspoken words. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. “Lando, I—“

But before you could finish, Lando suddenly stood up, crossing the room in a few quick strides. “You know what? I can’t fucking take it anymore.” And with that, he grabbed your face in his hands and kissed you, pulling you into a kiss that was both urgent and tender at the same time.

For a split second, you were too shocked to respond. But then, your body seemed to take over, and you found yourself kissing back, all the frustration and anger melting away in the warmth of his embrace. It felt like everything you’d been holding back, all the mixed emotions you’d been burying, finally broke free. When Lando finally pulled back, you were both breathless, staring at each other in stunned silence.

“Why did you do that?” You asked, your voice shaky.

“Because I’ve wanting to do it for a long fucking time,” Lando admitted, his thumb gently brushing your cheek. “And because I couldn’t stand the thought of you hating me for real.”

You shook your head, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I don’t hate you, Lando. I…I think I might be falling for you, and it’s terrifying to tell you honestly.”

Lando grinned, his usual cocky demeanor returning. “Well, that’s a relief. Because I’m pretty sure I’m falling for you too.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, the tension between you dissolving into something warmer, something that felt a lot like hope.

“You’re still an asshole, though.”

“And you’re still a pain in the ass,” Lando shot back, his grin widening.

This time, there was no venom behind your words, no hidden frustration like it was used to. Instead, there was a new understanding between you—a mutual acknowledgment that maybe the thing you’d both been fighting against all these years was exactly what you needed. When Lando leaned in to kiss you again, you realized that no one else could make your heart race like he did, and no one else could make you as crazy or as happy.

However, Lando’s confession and that unexpected kiss did leave you feeling more confused as ever. As much as you wanted to believe in the moment, in the warmth of his touch and softness of his lips, a familiar fear gnawed at the back of your mind. After all, this is Lando Norris that you’re talking about—the guy who seemed to switch girlfriends at lightning speed. You’d seen him charm his way through countless girls, only to move on without any second thought. The idea of being just another name on his list made your chest tighten with fear and anxiety.

As you sat still, still close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body, Lando looked at you with a hopeful expression, waiting for you to say something. But instead of responding with the excitement that was bubbling up inside you, all you could think about were the stories, the rumors, and the heartbreaks you’d witnessed.

“Lando,” you began, moving away slightly, creating a small but significant distance between you and him on the couch. “I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

“Why not?” His smile faltered, concern creeping into his eyes.

You bit your lip, trying to find the right words that won’t hurt him. “Because…” you trailed off, “I know you, Lando. I know your way with girls. Yes, I can’t deny the fact that you’re very charming and sweet when you want to be, but the way you get bored and move on quickly scares me. I…I don’t think I can handle being just another girl you get tired of.” You breathed out.

Lando’s expression softened, and he reached out to take your hand, but you hesitated. He noticed this right away and dropped his hand to his side.

“I get why you’d think that. I haven’t exactly been the most reliable guy when it comes to relationships, am I?” You nodded and he chuckled, “but this…this is different.”

“Is it?” You asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “Or are you just saying that because I’m here and it’s convenient?”

Lando shook his head, gaze so intense that you might melt and turn into a puddle any second. “It’s not like that, I promise. I know I’ve messed up before, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone. You’re not just another girl, and I’m not just saying that. I’m really serious about you.”

You wanted to believe him, you really did. But the fear of getting your heart broken, of being left behind like so many others, made it hard to fully trust his words.

“But what if you get bored? What if this is just a phase for you, and once you’ve had your fun, you move on to someone else?”

He looked at you with an earnestness that you weren’t used to seeing him. “I can’t blame you for being scared. But the truth is, I’m scared too. I’m scared because I’ve never wanted someone so much, something to work out this badly. I don’t want to mess this up. I know I have a reputation, but I don’t want that to be who I am with you. I want to be better—for you.”

You stared at him, your heart warring with your head. Could he really mean what he was saying? Was it possible that he could change, that you could be the one he was serious about? But even as the doubts swirled around you, there was a part of you that desperately wanted to take the leap, to believe that maybe this could be different.

“I don’t know if I can handle getting hurt,” you admitted, your voice trembling slightly. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that.”

Lando took a deep breath, his expression sincere. “I can’t promise that I’ll be perfect, but I can promise that I’ll try my best not to hurt you.” He said, tucking a few strands of your hair behind your ear, “I care about you too much to let that happen. But if you don’t want to take the risk, I’ll understand. I’ll back off if that’s what you want.”

You could see the honesty in his eyes, the vulnerability he rarely showed. It made your heart ache, knowing that he was giving you the power to decide where this would go. It would be easy to walk away, to protect yourself from the possibility of pain. But then again, what if he was telling the truth, what if this was real.

“No, I don’t want you to back off,” you finally said, your voice steady despite the nerves twisting in your stomach. “But I need time, Lando. I need to see that you’re serious before I can let myself fall for you completely.”

Lando nodded, relief washing over his face. “I’ll give you all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

You smiled, feeling a bit of the tension ease, though the uncertainty still lingered. “Good. Because I’m not sure I could handle it if you did.”

As the two of you sat side by side on the couch, the show was still playing in the background, the atmosphere between you had shifted. There was no rush, no need to force anything. It was just the two of you, slowly navigating the complicated mess of emotions that came with falling for someone who scared you as much as they made you feel alive, and maybe that this was the start of something real.

[outsideratheart]

Happiness (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: This is the third and final part of History and Hope. I hope you enjoy!

It was hard being friends with Alexia but that is the situation you found yourself in. After her injury you forget all about the past because what she was going through was much more important. It resulted in multiple trains to Spain and in the end you were able to mend your friendship. 

But here’s the thing: could two people who once cared about each other unconditionally ever be just friends?

You were beginning to find out the answer to that the hard way. You loved Caroline and deep down you knew you loved alexia, it was a feeling that would never change. The question was which one were you in love with. 

The public hadn’t seen you and Alexia together since before her injury so when the footage of you two arriving together at camp was posted the entire Sefutbol fanbase lost their minds. It didn’t help that every comment was about how it reminded them of the past and how they suspected something was going on between the two of you even though you were still with Caroline. 

Caroline trusted you and she told you this but whenever you called her during camp she questioned the how deep your relationship with Alexia went. She knew of your past and you were honest with her when you spoke of the love you had for your former best friend and co captain. 

You reassured her that you and Alexia were friends and nothing more but you could tell that she didn’t believe you. For the past few of months you could use the fact Alexia had a girlfriend to back up your statement but now they had broken up. You were the person Alexia came to when it happened and Caroline hated that your bond had returned to its unbreakable state.  

You and Alexia were told you’d be roommates for the pre World Cup camp and for the tournament. It was something the two of you were both happy about because you knew the pressure you would be facing in the upcoming weeks and it would be each other that would  keep you sane. 

After a tense phone with Caroline you didn’t know how to feel. Photos had been released from training of you and Alexia and to the rest of the world the two of you looked very close but it was simply the way Spaniards acted around each other. 

“Is everything ok?” Alexia asked as she exited bathroom pretending to not have heard every word you said.  

“I think so” truth is you didn’t know “it’s hard trying to explain, well us”

“It is. That’s why my relationship ended” Alexia knew your struggles well. 

This isn’t something you knew. You wasn’t sure why they broke up, you never asked, but you didn’t for a second think it had something to do with you. 

“I’m sorry” 

“It wasn’t your fault. She knew that I still loved you” 

“Alexia”

“I know you’re with Caroline and I don’t want to jeopardise that but it is true. I do love you, part of me always will and she couldn’t understand that” 

This is why it was hard. Friends don’t say stuff like that to other friends. 

“I’m with Caroline, Alexia. We can’t have this conversation”

“But you admit there is something here, something that we can talk about”

“There’s nothing to talk about. We are in a good place and we need to keep it that way. There’s too much at stake” 

The pressure on the two of you was enormous. The entire world was watching and waiting in anticipation and you weren’t go to let your relationship current or what could have been ruin that. 

“I understand” 

And that was true. Alexia did understand because before you fell in love with each other, you fell in love with football and winning the World Cup was something you dreamed of doing when you made your debuts together. 

The team had a couple of days off between camp and travelling to New Zealand. You took the opportunity to go away with Caroline and it was just what the two of you needed. You could back up your words of reassurance with actions. By the time you boarded the plane to go to World Cup things couldn’t have been in a better place. 

Throughout the group stages you played some of the best football you had in a long while. Every one of your team mates said it was because you and Alexia were in the best place you had been in years. This was true and you knew it was a huge reason why the two of you had been performing like you had. 

Up until now you never had a thought of straying from your relationship or thinking about being with anyone but Caroline. This all changed after the quarter finals. You had scored the second goal and the only person you wanted to celebrate with was Alexia. 

“What just happened!” you shouted as you jumped into her arms. Alexia truly did plan on wrapping her arms around your back but the speed in which you jumped almost caused you to fall if not for Alexia’s hands on the bottom of your thighs. 

“You’ve just sent us to semi final” Alexia kisses your neck. 

The feeling of her lips against your bare skin had the power the teleport you to the night you shared your first kiss in Paris. Your surroundings became blurred for matter of seconds but that is enough to let your mind stray. In that moment you wanted to kiss Alexia, you wanted to cheat on your girlfriend. You hated yourself for it but it was feeling you could no longer deny.

A similar thing happens in the semi final only Alexia isn’t on the pitch for your game winning goal. This doesn’t stop you from celebrating though as you ignore all of you screaming team mates and run straight to where she is cheering on the bench. 

“That one was for you Ale” the nickname made a return, you didn’t dislike it and it wasn’t an accident.

Once again you are in her arms and you can feel her firm grasp on your waist. 

“Mi estrella” 

This time you kiss her cheek even though you know it’s wrong. You tell yourself it is innocent as it isn’t on the lips.

The final whistle blows and you fall to your knees. You were in shock knowing that Spain were through to the World Cup final. The whole team celebrates the achievement and as the team gathers in a circle you spot Alexia opposite you. This is what you have been working towards for years and now you only have one game left to play and one team left to beat. 

Just as you were about to go to Alexia you get pulled away by Olga and Athenea.

“Come with us MVP. We have a surprise for you” your Real Madrid team mates pull you through the tunnel.

With these two anything was possible so you keep an open mind. As you reach the end of the corridor you see the surprise they were referring to and she did not look happy although to anyone else her smile was believable.

“Caroline” you truly are happy to see your girlfriend and having her in front of you makes you forget all about Alexia. 

“Congratulations Y/N” she pulls you in her arms but her hold isn’t as strong as it normally is and you know that something is wrong.

“Thank you Carino” you lean forward to kiss her and are met with a battle for dominance, something with doesn’t normally happen.

“My girlfriend is through to the final” you are too focused on the kiss that just happened that you don’t pick up on the possessive tone that Caroline uses when she says the word mine.

“Let’s get out of here” you are still dressed in your kit although you had swapped shirts with Asllani.

“What about your team mates?” Caroline asks even though she wants nothing more than to have you to herself.

“I can celebrate with them later. I have missed you”

“Looks like it” She whispers under her breath but it is loud enough that you hear it.

Once in the locker room Alexia’s eyes search for you and she even goes back out to the pitch to see if you had stayed out there knowing that this is something you do. Even as she returns to the rowdy Spanish locker rooms she is almost certain that you would be in there by now, only you’re not.

Jenni asks her what’s wrong but she shakes it off.

“I was looking for Y/N but she must be doing media” Alexia says as it is the only explanation she can come up with.

“Y/N wasn’t needed for media. Salma did it instead” their media manager confirms.

Alexia was beginning to worry as to your whereabouts but Olga is quick to put her out of her misery even though what she says makes Alexia a lot more than miserable.

“Caroline came to surprise her“ Olga says.

“And we saw them leaving the stadium just as we came back here” Athenea adds.

The Catalonian was at a loss for words. Had she been reading the signals wrong?

“She did?” Esthers says excitedly “That’s nice. They really are inseparable in Madrid and I think I speak for everyone when I say we can tell Y/N has been missing Caroline”

The players that were listening to the conversation agree with the forward and every agreement made Alexia’s blood boil. It was enough to stop celebrating and leave the room in search of some alone time.

The pitch was the place Alexia thought would be the quietest and she was right. It’s funny how much bigger it felt when it was empty and silent. She took the time to go over the past couple of days and it made her come to the conclusion that she didn’t just love you, she was in love with you. So much that it scared her because you had the power to hurt her although part of her believed she deserved it.

“Here” 

The voice makes Alexia jump. She turns and finds Misa standing next to her with a beer in her hand.

“I don’t drink during tournaments, you know this”

“You’re going to need it for the conversation we are about to have and before you say you don’t want to talk about it you should know that you need to talk about it Alexia”

Whatever was going on between you and Alexia was enough to gain the attention of the goalkeeper. This alone filled Alexia with a little bit of hope.

“I’m in love with her Misa and I don’t know what to do. We have these moments and it gives me a sense of deja vu. I am transported back to 2019 where I wanted nothing more than to kiss her and ask to be mine. I want that, I want her” 

Misa isn’t the person Alexia thought she would be having this conversation with but the two of them had grew close over the past couple of weeks and it helped that she knew you very well. She would be able to give an insight as to how you may be feeling.

“That isn’t going to happen” Misa says before taking a huge mouthful of the ice cold beer in her hands.

“I know but I can’t lose hope. Without hope I have nothing. I won’t have her and I won’t be able to have the thought of us been together”

“I wasn’t finished. It isn’t go to happen right now. She is in a committed relationship and no way will she do to Caroline what you did to her. Her heart is too pure”

Deep down Alexia knew Misa was right. You never wanted to cause pain for anyone and you definitely wouldn’t do it to the woman you love.

“I know. I don’t know what to do” Alexia hangs her head in defeat but not before taking a sip of the drink she swore not to only minutes ago.

“Do you want my opinion?” Misa asks and Alexia nods but doesn’t make eye contact “I think you need to tell her how you feel and don’t hold back”

Alexia wasn’t sure if that is something she is capable off. If she tells you then she risks losing you all together and she couldn’t have that happen. The two of you were in a good place and she’ll be damned if she is the cause for that to change. She needed to the think or more appropriately not think and her team mates that were none the wiser to her feelings would be the perfect distraction or at least that is what she is hoping.

“Alexia” Misa shouts causing the midfielder to look back at her “For what it’s worth I think part of her feels the same way. Ever since arriving in New Zealand I have seen a side of Y/N that I haven’t seen before and I think you’re the reason for that”

When the team arrive back at the hotel they do so just in time to see Caroline leaving. Given the amount of Real Madrid players on the team, most of them stop to say hi but Alexia notices that you are nowhere in sight. Now is her chance. 

She gives up on waiting at the elevator and runs up the stairs two at a time. She is breathless when knocking on your door at a rapid pace. After thirty seconds she takes a short break before trying again. This morning she didn’t plan on having this conversation with you but now she wanted nothing more. She is determined not to admit defeat but her red knuckles beg her to do just that. Maybe you weren’t in the room. 

The team is gathered in the common room when Alexia enters but still you are not there. Her gut was telling her something was wrong and she never ignored her gut.

“Have any of you seen Y/N?” She asks the entire room hoping at least one person would know where you were.

“She is in her room” Jorge states and it makes Alexia take a step back in disbelief because it means you were ignoring her reluctant knocking “She told me that she isn’t feeling well so she won’t be down for team meal tonight”

“Ok, I will take a plate up to her if I can get a key” Alexia knew that if anyone had the power to get a key for your room it would be the coach.

“No Alexia. Y/N asked me to be left alone tonight and given that she has been our saving grace the past couple of games I am going to do as she asked and I’m going to make sure everyone else does too”

Alexia was confused. You were fine an our ago, what could have changed in such a small amount of time and why where you hell bent on being left alone. Being respectful to your wishes Alexia left you alone that night and instead would talk to you in the morning only she doesn’t get the chance because the next day you avoid her at all costs. 

You didn’t intend on hurting Alexia with your behaviour but it is what you needed to do to get through the next couple of days. There was a World Cup final to prepare for and you needed to have a clear head if you had any chance of winning. 

By the time the 20th August comes around you can count on one hand the amount of times you have spoken to Alexia and you would have fingers spare. You heart was all over the place but head was locked in on the task at hand and that is all that mattered or at least it was for the next 90 minutes which would then turn into 120 minutes because the score remained 0-0 after extra time. Like many other games, this one would be decided with penalties. 

“Y/N” Alexia grabbed your hand before the team walked to the half way line.

“Not now Alexia. I need to focus” you pull out of her grasp.

It all came down the 5th penalty. Both team have scored all penalties so far and given that Spain went second the pressure was fully on your shoulders as you were the fifth penalty taker. Misa hands you the ball but doesn’t say a word. Besides she knew that you wouldn’t hear a word she said anyways.

When you hit the ball you know you didn’t get it quite right. You always went for the side netting and you had a 100% success rate. You did until this moment because instead of hitting the netting the ball hits the post and rolls away form the goal. You had just missed and cost your team and country the title of World Cup champions.

You didn’t fall to the floor, nor did you walk back to your team mates. You stood in the same spot as if rooted to the ground. If you had to describe the way you were feeling you would use the word shock. How could you miss, this one out of them all. 

Misa the first person to enter you line of vision as she crouches down to reassure you that it was ok and that it wasn’t your fault but it was. You knew it and the rest of the world did too. The next thing you do it turn your emotions off, knowing that it was better to feel nothing at all. This did mean that you shut off the world around you. The sounds in the stadium became muffled as if you were under water and the presence of your team mates didn’t register.

“We are a team. Win or lose, we do so together” Alexia wraps her arms around your shoulder and tries to pull you close to her but it’s as if the contact burns and you recoil from her touch.

“I am the captain today, not you. I missed the penalty, not you. This is on me Alexia so don’t try and make this about you” 

“Y/N, that’s not what I’m doing” Alexia tries to reach out for you. She knows once you give up the urge to fight that you will need comfort.

“Why don’t you go to Jenni! It’s what you did after the last World Cup” your words were like venom and you spat them straight at her.

Alexia remained in her place even when watching you walk away, seeking comfort in your co captain at Real Madrid Ivana Andres. It was her side that you stood as you watched the other team lift the trophy. As soon as you were allowed to and when it respectful enough to do so, you left not only the pitch but the stadium.

The energy is the locker room was awful, it was as if somebody had died. To the outside world that might seem dramatic but losing a final had an effect that was hard to explain to those who had never experienced it. Some players were still crying, some had cried all the tears they had and others sat in silence still processing what just happened.

Ivana picked up on Alexia’s wandering eyes and it didn’t take a genius to realise what or who she was looking for.

“She’s left Alexia” This not only caught the attention of Alexia but the entire locker room “She said she needed to be alone and I couldn’t argue with her. The pressure she faced during this tournament is enough to crush some people and it seemed Caroline breaking up with her was the last straw”

“What did you just say?” Alexia wasn’t sure if she heard the defender correctly.

“The pressure was too much”

“No about Caroline”

“She broke up with Y/N. She didn’t tell me but I think it was the night of the semi final”

Selfishly Alexia wasn’t focused on the fact that you had been dumped. You were now single and now was the time for her to tell you how she really feels. Still, she is torn on what to do. She is a captain of this team and with you gone they need their other captain.

“Go” Misa tells her.

Alexia waits for someone, anyone, to disagree with the goalkeeper but nobody does and that’s enough for Alexia. She thinks fast. You wouldn’t go back to the hotel because that’s where the rest of the team will be very shortly. Australia isn’t a country you knew well so it did narrow it down a little bit. Alexia’s mind is blank until she remembers you posting almost identical photos to your instagram stories of a beach. You always loved the beach so it made sense that is where you would go.

She was right. As Alexia walks down the small hill that leads to the ocean she sees you sitting close to water with your knees pulled up to your chest. Even from a distance she can tell your crying by the way you body is moving.

“It’s all my fault Alexia” you don’t need to face the figure next to you to know who it is. She is the only one that would go against your wishes and truth is you had been hoping she would because in this moment she is the only person you want to see.

“No it’s—“ Alexia wanted to reassure you but the look she received from you told her that it was best not to finish that sentence. 

“It’s not only your fault” she corrects herself but didn’t quite have the affect she desired. 

“Alexia!” 

You fall back onto the sand and turn your focus onto the stars above you. With the ocean at your feet and the universe above you, you couldn’t help but feel small. 

“Spain is going to hate, the team will hate me and you will hate me. Please don’t hate me Alexia, anybody but you” it’s almost a plea. 

“Y/N I could never hate you. I love you” 

This confession had you sitting up right in a matter of seconds. 

“Alexia in a different life maybe we could be happy together but we are not meant to be in this one” 

“Why? I love you Y/N and I know part of you loves me too. I felt it in the quarter final and again in the semi final. Give me one good reason why?”

“We just aren’t. First I loved you and you didn’t love me, then you loved me and I loved Caroline and now you love me and I don’t love myself. Love should be this hard Alexia” 

Alexia had enough. She couldn’t understand why you were so adamant on standing in the way of what could be. 

“Love is hard Y/N but it is also the most rewarding thing in the world. We spend our whole lifetimes trying to find our soulmates. I found mine when I was 15 and it was you, that wasn’t hard” 

“Alexia I don’t know what you want from me. You’ve said this before and look what happened. I gave you my whole heart and you broke it like it was nothing. I don’t think I can do that again” 

“I want to tell you I am in love with you Y/N and I know I’ve hurt you before but that will never happen again. You deserve the world and I want to be the one to give you that” 

You didn’t know what to say but you knew what you wanted to do. You lean forward, cup Alexia’s cheek and kiss her softly. Never had a kiss felt so right, so good. You pull away knowing that maybe you shouldn’t have done what you just did. Alexia on the other hand didn’t share the same belief because that kiss was nowhere near enough for her. 

She leans forward but with enough force to knock you back. She now hovers above you waiting for your permission because in this moment you held all the cards. You reach up and kiss her only for Alexia to take over. You had never experienced a kiss filled with so much love and passion. You didn’t need to listen to what your head was telling you because your body make it crystal clear that you wanted Alexia.  

Her hands began to roam your body and found their way under your shirt. It was getting heated and knew where it was going. You also knew that this couldn’t happen on a beach in Australia. 

You push her off you but when you she the look of sheer panic in Alexia’s eyes you quickly peck her lips to reassure her this is not something you want to stop. 

“I love you Alexia and if I give you a chance, if I give you my heart again, then I need you to promise me that you’ll look after it” 

Alexia stands to her feet and holds her hands out to help to you up. Once at eye level she takes both of your hands in her own. 

“I promise Y/N. I will take care of you. I will protect your heart as if it was my own. I will love you with every fibre of my being. If you give me a chance, I promise I will never hurt you the way I did”

“Ok” your tone is quiet but the smile on your face is wide. 

“Ok?” Alexia asks as if needing a double confirmation. 

“Yes Alexia. I love you and I will give you another chance” 

Alexia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She really did think that the outcome of this conversation would be different but right now in the moment, even after losing the final, she has never been happier. You had given her the chance to rewrite a wrong from four years ago and she wasn’t going to waste the opportunity.

[lirational]

Fluttering in the Mist

Yandere!Adela x Reader

Content warnings: Memory alteration, memory loss, dubious consent, fingering, yandere behavior. DARK CONTENT. DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT.

SMUT UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Clink!

As soon as the doorbell rang, you heard her voice.

“(Name)? Welcome, is there anything I could help you with?”

Her voice was familiar, comforting, followed with the scent of lavender that made your tense muscles start to relax. Though it was a small thing, it was still a gesture you appreciated.

You were giddy, eager to all but spill your newest achievement to your best friend. Though your friendship started on not so smoothly, with Adela, still a stranger at that time, offering to make you forget everything that hurts, with no prompt or explanation. You reacted as anyone sane would if they were offered hard drugs by a stranger, yet to your luck, she did not take it personally, even helping you get settled in the area.

She did not have any reason to offer you that much kindness. Not while you were strangers to each other. Yet, if you knew she would be this much of a close friend to you, you would turn back time and admonish your past self for almost turning her away.

“Just thought I’d stop by,” you answer, voice barely able to contain your excitement, “Can I get a trim, too? I mean, sure, I know you, but your skills come highly recommended by everyone here,”

“Come, now, take a seat right there, I’ll wash your hair, and you, my dear friend, can tell me what got you leaping over the moon,” she gestured at the washing table, the emphasis of the word lost on you. Humming a disjointed, happy tune, you obliged, letting yourself sink on the plush chair.

“Remember to close your eyes, now,”

Warm water cascaded from the top of your head, the temperature just right to coax you into a state of relaxation. Her fingers sometimes brush against your ears, and you had to remind yourself not to get too lost in the feeling, or you would’ve fallen asleep. Her fingers occasionally brush your ear, prompting a shiver down your spine.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

Her voice snapped you out from the comfort, bringing back the joy you had almost forgotten to tell her.

“Do you still remember the girl I met in the flower shop? The one I told you about before? Well, she agreed to go out with me this weekend!” You couldn’t keep the giddy tone out from your voice, excitement almost prompting you to open your eyes. “She said we can go for a nice meal and talk. I really can’t wait! Dammit, if only time can go by faster…”

Adela was massaging your scalp as you talked, fingers almost coaxing you to talk more with each gentle press. She seemed content to listen, while you, in your bliss, did not see her furrowed brows and stiff expression.

“Congratulations, I wish you the best. See? Living here isn’t quite so bad,” Adela replied, though in your relaxation, you did not realize that her voice wavered ever so slightly even as her hands went through practiced motions.

You still remained oblivious.

“On another note, have you considered my offer yet?” She asked, changing the topic. “I have room for one more, and you could save more by living with me, hm?”

With a distinct creak, she turned off the water, prompting you to answer.

“Really, thank you for the offer, Adela, but I would hate to impose,” you rejected, a bit more firm this time.

Snip.

You felt like you were snapped out from a long, deep daydream, brought back to reality to meet her light blue eyes. Under the dim light of the place, her eyes gleamed, hidden intentions concealed behind loving gaze.

“Why would you? You were already staying with me all the while. All we need to do is to make it official.”

“I’m… ah, you might be right, I thought—“

Snip.

“Shush, you’ve been so wound up all this time… poor little thing, you didn’t even have a proper place to sleep, and now, look at how disoriented you are.”

Her voice wrapped inside you, filling the strange cavity in your head that seemed to blossom out of nowhere. Overwhelming comfort bled from each word she spoke, hugging and grounding you to her, only letting you hear the distinct snip snip of her scissors and nothing else. Strands of your hair fluttered down to the floor, and relief washed over you each time they hit the floor.

Another snip, her finger brushed the curve of your ear, and you leaned into her touch, driven by something you cannot quite place.

“Let me just tidy you up a bit, then we can relax, hm?” Her voice have lowered to a gentle whisper, like a caress that fills the cracks forming in your memories, like liquid gold applied to mend a fractured porcelain. She adjusted your head to its proper position, eyes meeting yours for a moment before she continued.

“That is right, I do feel tired… thanks, Adela. I was so excited for the date with, with…”

Snip.

“You must be so exhausted, even forgetting the date plans with your girlfriend right here…” she finished your words, and once again, a strange calm washed upon you, the conflicting sense of wrong and right fighting for dominance in your mind with the former on the losing side. White wisps flutter in your vision, bathing the place in thin, flowing mist, yet the only other person with you did not seem to notice.

Your lover, no—

Your thoughts were interrupted with a deafening, firm snip so close to your ears, and it disappeared through your fingers, much like the mist covering your vision that you could not attempt to even grasp.

Adela never let you dwell long enough on each gaping void in your mind, and this time, there was a lilt full of desire in her words, “Shush, it’s okay, I know you were so tired these days. No one would hire you all because you didn’t have any references to vouch for you.”

There it was, once again, a sense of wrongness, only lasting for half a second at most before another snip tore through these thoughts, leaving another gaping void for Adela to fill and mend with her sweet voice. With your proximity, you could smell her perfume, the sense of familiarity stronger than anything else you could come up with.

“It’s okay, my love, I will always be here for you.”

A traitorous, oh so pleasurable shiver went down your spine, settling between your legs.

You could feel the tug of a strong, strong connection with her, a connection that stayed taut and grounding even as everything else crumbled down into the dark cracks of your thoughts. Any attempts to pull anything out from the void only disoriented you further, while her voice became an anchor, the one rock you can rely on to steady your feet.

Your hair looked immaculate, clever layering creating the illusion or volume and care you certainly did not put in. Pieces of hair littered the floor below you, and for a moment, you felt the strange urge to grab a strand.

Perhaps, it would alleviate this sense of deep, clawing wrongness.

A final snip on your bangs banished the thought, the metallic gleam of the scissors was reflected in the mirror in front of you. Adela placed the tool back into its box soon after, her lips so close to the shell of your ear, enough for her canine to graze it. Her breaths fanned your skin as she moved lower, sucking a smudged mark stained by dark lipstick, a mark that will almost certainly bloom into a bruise on your shoulder.

“Oh, is my lovely girlfriend still wound up?” She asked with a smirk, sucking another mark at the delicate spot that beats along with your heartbeat. Not giving you a chance to ponder, she spun the chair around, forcing you to face her before she locked her lips onto yours.

There was urgency to the kiss, a hunger similar to a person who was deprived from sweets so long they would crave it no matter how or what has to be done, however, she still savoured the feeling, pale hand pressing on the back of your head to force you to deepen the kiss. Her other hand reached onto your clothes, undressing you and letting your clothes lay forgotten on the chair and the floor, not caring that the hair strands might stick to them.

“See, I was right,” she smiled as she broke the kiss, licking the strand of saliva connecting the two of you while admiring you in your undergarments. With a gaze full of love, she cupped your drenched underwear, almost purring in delight at the strand of liquid that followed her index finger.

“My dear lovely girlfriend seem so stressed. Shh, let me take care of you.”

“But, Adela, wait, I think… something is missing.”

“Shush, everything is okay. I am supposed to unwind you here, after all. You struggling to think is a little against the point here, my love.”

She hooked her index finger and moved aside your ruined underwear, exposing your folds to the cold air of the place. It was like all life outside has faded into a deathly quiet, and nothing existed other than you, Adela - your lover - and the white mist that seemed to blanket the two of you. One experimental finger slipped easily in, and your walls swallowed her up, your body made desperate, so desperate for any kind of stimulation from your attentive girlfriend. A crimson flush colored your cheeks at the thought, yet she just smiled and added another finger in, pumping, spreading you apart, and pressing on that spot that made your toes curl and your fingers grip on the armrest.

“Ah… Adela, please, I—“

She started slow, gleaming blue eyes not breaking contact from yours all the while, though as she moved faster and faster, each movement accompanied with embarassing squelches and moans that slipped unbidden from your lips. Your eyes have rolled to the back of your head, drool slipping out from the corner of your lips.

She licked it off from the corner of your lips, then flashed you a smile, neither breaking eye contact nor ceasing her movements down there all the while. Her other hand rolled your stiff nipples with her thumb and index finger, before she leaned in to swirl and circle patterns onto the sensitive nub with her tongue.

This must be why you felt so giddy when you came here, after all, having such a loving girlfriend was something not everyone was lucky enough to achieve.

“Adela, I am… close!”

“Then let it all out, for me,”

She increased her speed, intent to split you apart with her fingers, and you screamed her name as you tip over the edge, your juices coating her fingers and the chair. It felt like a huge burden has been lifted from you, and as she pulled out, your body fell limp, like a doll with its supporting strings cut. Now, with your worries unreachable even as you struggled, your consciousness started to darken, sleepiness hugging you with a blanket that tempted you to just stop thinking too much.

“See? You were very tired, after all. Close your eyes. Tomorrow, your worries will be nothing but a distant dream…”

With her smile to reassure you, you closed your eyes.

[trancylovecraft]

(BLUE EXORCIST) YANDERE LUCIFER: Headcannons

(BLUE EXORCIST SEASON THREE IS OCMIJNG JAND OMG IM SO EXCITED ITS LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE MANGA ALONG WITH KNY OMG OMG) (If you haven't seen the anime or have seen the anime and dropped it, READ THE MANGA THE ANIME DID IT SO SO DIRTY) (IN CELEBRATION AND THE FACT IM VERY SICK RN AND IT REMINDED ME OF HIM, HAVE THIS)

• Okay. Lucifer, King of light. This is probably the worst yandere in aoex you could get (apart from Mephisto but that’s for another time.)

• Possessive, Overprotective, delusional and manipulative TO THE MAX. Lucifer’s a narcissistic monster so you can see how this goes.

• Possessive in the way he just won’t let you go. He views you as his and nothing more. There’s no debating him on this, You have no voice.

• Overprotective in the way that he does not let any harm come to you. Health check-ups every day, Padded room you’re locked in with no sharp edges. That kind of thing

• Delusional in the way he believes the two of you are somehow bound by fate. He may be scarily intelligent but that does not make him sane in the least.

• And manipulative in the way.. Well, Come on. He’s a glorified cult leader. Lucifer controls every aspect of your life from your clothes to your schedule. All so he can display the image he wants you to see.

• I’m going to go with a Romantic route on this one. I’ll do platonic later if anyone wants it.

• Lucifer at first is shocked. Demon’s don’t feel emotions, Not the way humans do anyways. But his heart beats when he sees you. He’s confused at first, Believing it to be an ailment or illness

• However after a while he comes to terms with it, A shocking realisation. One that amazes him deeply.

• Even though love is a laughable matter for demons, Lucifer doesn’t deny it. He believes that you’re an exception and no matter what his siblings or Homare says, It wont deter him

• Being the egoist he is, He believes you must feel the same way. No matter how much you fight or argue he knows you’re just playing hard to get.

• How it started I can see it happen two ways. One, You’re a recruit in the Illuminati and you somehow catch his eye. Number two, You’re a member of the True Cross Order and you catch his attention.

• If you’re in the Illuminati then that just makes it easier for him. Lucifer is the commander in chief and their idolized leader. You and your colleagues practically worship him. (Rose tinted glasses)

• So it’s a breeze for him to get close to you. Suddenly your assigned as his personal guard or caretaker, Suddenly he requests more time off the clock with you.

• You see it as a blessing, The commander in chief wants more time with you. And from there on there really is no escape

• In the second scenario he might of seen you while spying on the order or when he was declaring war. I’m imagining him announcing his speech before his eyes lock on you from behind the mask, He pauses mid sentence to just stare before Homare coughs and breaks him out of his trance.

• He continues on but his eyes keep lingering back to you. It makes you feel uncomfortable more than you already were, This organisation was declaring war on the order and their creepy leader kept eyeing you up and down.

• I feel like Mephisto would catch on, He’d probably deduce it easily but for the sake of plot he wont here.

• When they leave, Lucifer can’t help but drift his mind off to you. He hated human beings, He envied them for their healthy bodies that they wasted doing nothing while he rots.

• And due to that and the fact that he is bedridden most of the time makes it very hard for him to do anything. Instead he relies on Shima to tell him things about you.

• You’re a teaching assistant at the academy, A middle-class exorcist with the meister of doctor and knight. The more he learned the more he felt his heart beat.

• If you have any other romantic partners or interests (even just friendships) he starts to feel another emotion. It’s not a good one, It makes him disgusted.

• Even though what he feels for you is intense and overwhelming, He will not show it at all. Cold and mechanical

• Lucifer wants to get you away from them. He doesn’t like people touching what’s his.

• After confirming this feeling isn’t illness, He has his mind set dead on you.

• Lucifer believes that you must feel the same way. This is love, Something he had never experienced before so he knows it must be mutual right?

• He has Shima gather items from you. Photo’s, Clothing and trinkets. He has them surrounding his bed.

• So when you come along with the exwires to rescue Izumo and he views you on the camera’s his heart skips a beat.

• Lucifer orders the entire staff not to lay a hand on you. If they do then they will suffer by his hand and he MEANS this.

• So when you and the exwires are separated and shoved into different rooms, There was no demon to fight you.

• You were confused. It was just a padded cell. All until a ray of light manifested on the other side of the room

• You bared your weapon. Lucifer appeared in a fresh clone body and full uniform, Wanting to look his best for finally meeting you.

• Of course you ready your weapon but its instantly dismantled by a blinding flash, Making you drop it to the ground.

• Lucifer approaches you and takes no time to proclaim his infatuation and love for you. He says it outright because of well.. He’s convinced that you feel the exact same way about him even though you only met once on really bad terms.

• Lucifer expects you to run into his arms or confess your love back. But to his shock and dismay you only scream obscenities at him, Which is a weird way of showing your love but go off I guess.

• Or not. Lucifer doesn’t like you saying that stuff. Even though he knows you don’t mean it he still takes great offense.

• Lucifer straight up offers you to join the illuminati. A pretty high position (And conveniently works close to him)  Tells you about his ideals. His goal of making a paradise, Reviving Satan and making an equal world

• You’re rightfully disgusted. You say no again and curse him out. No way are you joining some glorified cult.

• He sighs, A tad irritated as he steps closer to you. You cant do anything but back away into a corner looking terrified.

• He approaches. The distance closes and he casts a dark shadow, His eyes glowing as he looks at you.

• You’re frozen in fear as he reaches a hand out to cup your cheek. His hands are dead cold.

• “I understand your fear, But sleep well now and you’ll awaken safely in due time.” 

• He says that to you and he places a single kiss onto your lips. His are freezing similar to that of a corpses.

• You black out afterwards, Lucifer catches you in his arms as he carries you away.

• After that its the “domestic stage”

• You sleep in a room in the Dominus Liminus. It’s both warded and protected to the nines.

• You wont speak much to anyone. A few staff here or there but Homare is the one tasked with keeping you secure and safe.

• Wherever you go (If you’re allowed out) Homare will be close behind. It wont even be hidden, Saying with a cold face that she is to escort you around the place and assist you.

• But you know it’s just Lucifer keeping an eye on you.

• As soon as your on board you instantly gain the title of ‘The Commander’s Fiancée’

• Its disturbing until you find out why. Once you meet him again he explains that your days are now leading up to your marriage with him.

• He could marry you right now. But Lucifer wants to have a ceremony, An official wedding that will involve a demonic binding to him.

• You curse him out again and try to attack him in his bed. But the Lundström pull you back escort you to your cell. Lucifer calling out your praises as you go.

• You’re fed the highest class food. It doesn’t matter what you prefer since Lucifer claims “You deserve the best”

• You also get a lot of gifts like clothing and furniture. Nothing dangerous or sharp though, Cant let you getting hurt.

• If you get close to anyone but him or maybe Homare he will not hesitate. He’s jealous and will order their death, Sometimes he’ll do it himself depending on the situation.

• Health check-ups daily. Human beings are fragile and if you died he doesn’t think he could go on without the one thing that numbs his pain. 

• Unfortunately enough you’re being taken care of by a greasy little doctor Geodinn. Of whom sucks up to you even though you can tell its an act

• If you do manage to escape he will go on a rampage. It’ll be the blue night pt2. He doesn’t care who he kills or what he destroys, Only calmed when your back with him.

• Besides. His siblings as well as all their lower class demons would be on high alert, Its impossible.

• He’s always in bedrest and it annoys him. He can’t spend as much time as he wants to with you and his rotting body wont let him.

• Sometimes when he misses you too much he’ll get Homare to drag you in and lie with him. He likes holding you to your displeasure, Its the only thing that takes away his constant pain

• When his body is new however he makes it count.

• He takes you out on little trips in preparation for your wedding.

• Him, Homare and a group of his most trusted men take you dress shopping. They make you try on a shit ton until Lucifer and you find the perfect one. You both must be in agreement.

• You try to escape but you are instantly caught by Homare and co. Who drag you back to a disappointed and confused Lucifer.

• He still doesn’t understand why you’d want to leave. You’re both in love, Right?

• He takes you out to the final shop. A jewellers where he alone picks out the ring. A silver ring with a diamond centrepiece (Also one that he made a demon under him possess to tell him your location at all times)

• Afterwards its basically time for your big day. His at least, Lucifer is overjoyed and excited for once in his life.

• You walk down the isle with a veil to cover your distraught and defeated face all while carrying a bouquet of white roses. It’s a massive cathedral. The entirety of the Illuminati is there along with his siblings..

• Once you reach the altar, Lucifer is standing there in his full military uniform. For once his expression doesn’t look mechanical and dead, It has life now and his eyes look at you with an organic gleam.

• Iblis, Egyn and Astaroth are standing off to the side. They’re very confused but they don’t question him.

• Iblis thinks its cute. Egyn is confused and Astaroth just got here

• Shima is near the front row and is currently on FaceTime with Mephisto, Whose hysterical and laughing to high hell at what’s happening.

• Homare is ordaining the ceremony. She says her part and then Egyn comes up with the rings as well as a contract.

• Lucifer lifts your veil. He hands you the contract with a pen and urges you to sign it.

• You have no other choice. You sign the paper while trying not to cry. The deal is done, You’re unable to leave entirely now

• He leans down and kisses you as the crowd goes wild cheering. Through the noise you can hear him say one last thing.

• “You look absolutely stunning.. Once I get a working body and once you become a demon eater.. I hope to see you like this for the rest of time..”

[plisuu]

Happy friday Sterling!!! last week I got some Revalas/Bull out of you, howabout some Revalas/Dorian this time? or not if you are stricken with a different inspiration. "i dunno who taught you that love comes with conditions and limitations, but mine doesn’t. not when it’s you." from the emotionally charged sentence starters.

Ooookay, man Kia you've been coming in clutch with the prompts.

This one kind of got away from me, I just started writing with a bolt of inspiration and ended up here ahahah

Here's something a bit more established for Revalas and Dorian :)

wc: 1.2k @dadrunkwriting

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Revalas swore the sound of Dorian’s ring against to bar-top was the only thing keeping him sane. Like a metronome, a steady beat against the backdrop of the busy chatter and clinking glasses and Bull shouting something behind them to a group of very drunk Chargers.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

The pace was increasing, just slightly, and Revalas finally peered up from where his gaze had been fixated on the gold that glinted against dark skin, just a few shades darker than his own. It looked good on him, on Dorian’s hands. Jewelry always did, and Revalas had spent more than his fair share of time haggling with merchants and using Leliana’s contacts to get this particular ring smuggled out of Par Vollen—a yellow-gold that stood stark and bright against the more muted, deeper golds of Tevinter jewelry.

“Yes yes, I love it,” Dorian muttered, waving his hand loosely, the word a slurred assurance that he did, in fact, realize Revalas was staring at it.

“That’s not… I’m not worried about that, vhenan,” Revalas chuckled in reply, leaning over to place a kiss on Dorian’s cheek, missing, and planting one on the mage’s collarbone instead. He could feel the warmth of his drink beginning to spread through his face, to the tips of his ears, and left his forehead resting against the perfumed linens and cool skin of Dorian’s shoulder. Patchouli and sandalwood, something smoky and a little spicy, something a little musky and human… He breathed in deeply before continuing, his voice muffled by the fabric. “You don’t even have to wear it. You could hate it for all I care, I just wanted you to have something so you’re reminded of me when you’re out,” he gestured vaguely, “doing whatever it is you do.”

“I’m always reminded of you, amatus,” Dorian said, his voice sounding a little distant, a little watery, still slurred and slow. Revalas heard the soft clink of gold against glass as he reached for his drink again. “It’s rather ridiculous, really.”

“What is?” Revalas looked back up, suddenly alert, an eyebrow raised, his hand darting out to catch Dorian’s wrist before more booze could hit his tongue. “What’s so ridiculous?”

Dorian chewed his lip and looked away. Krem and Skinner had begun to sing loudly, drowning out the music they were trying to sing to. Sera’s delighted squeal cut through the ruckus and Revalas felt the slow drip of a sloshed ale soaking into his pant leg from the bar.

None of it mattered though—they may as well have been alone in the Herald’s Rest as he gently pried the drink from Dorian’s hand and interlaced their fingers.

“Ar lath— I love you,” Revalas huffed. “Talk to me. I can see the smoke coming from your ears.”

“As astute and clever as ever,” Dorian replied, still turned away. He heaved a heavy sigh. “This seems… unwise.”

“What does? How so?”

There was silence between them. The chaos of the tavern had all but fallen away as Revalas watched the gears turning quietly, his gaze piercing, knowing exactly what Dorian meant but waiting for him to piece together the words to say it himself.

Dorian finally met his gaze, brows drawn in a way that he would have never allowed were he sober.

“Emotions are so… messy,” he finally said. “I never meant to let it get this far, you know.”

“But here we are, so now what?” Revalas pressed his lips to the back of Dorian’s hand. “It’s okay to be messy, Creators know Bull and I are just as bad.”

Dorian frowned. “Yes, but—”

“But you aren’t allowed to be? Why not?”

Revalas swore he could see the words turning over in Dorian’s head, the mental gymnastics he was putting himself through to try and justify his hesitance.

“Vishante Kaffas, you Ben-Hassrath are truly the worst,” he eventually snipped. “Perceptive asses, the lot of you. Yes, fine! Let’s make Dorian confess his feelings in the middle of the tavern, what fun! Surely he wants to share his deepest fears in public, or—no, wait—let’s make it in front of an audience! Of course!”

Hs voice cracked, and he pressed his palms into the scratched wood bar, staring at it as if trying to study a reflection that wasn’t there. Revalas brushed his thumb across Dorian’s cheek, unsurprised at the wetness he found there, and pulled Dorian to face him again. Grey eyes glittered with brimming tears, and Revalas wiped them away as best he could without smudging the khol that streaked down tanned cheeks.

“Dorian. Vhenan. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Yes… I…” Dorian shook his head. “I simply hate that I care so much. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it, to receive so much… attention? When I don’t even do anything, when I have so little to offer but these petty, drunken outbursts.” He slumped over, defeated. “There. You’ve pried it out of me. May I have my drink back, now, if you're satisfied?”

“Vhenan.”

The scrape of wooden stools across the floor seemed deafening in comparison to their conversation, but Revalas knew it was all drowned in the sea of late-night drunken chaos as he scooted himself closer to Dorian and pulled him into his arms. It was awkward, and likely an awkward sight, but Revalas held him tightly, as if his grip could quell his partner’s hitching, uneven breaths.

“Vhenan, you don’t need to do anything. You’re allowed to just care. Hell, it’s really not like Bull and I are any more practiced at this. We don’t even have relationships under the Qun.” He sighed, kissing the top of Dorian’s head, the styling oils tingling his lips. “I think about you constantly, and I don’t do anything but drag feelings out of you kicking and screaming, but you wouldn’t say the same about me, that I’m not allowed to care, right?”

“You shouldn’t” Dorian muttered, and Revalas hugged him harder, just uncomfortably so, so that he heard the air whoosh out of Dorian’s lungs.

“That’s stupid. You’re too smart to say stupid things like that. This isn’t conditional. There’s no rule that says any of us have to do anything.”

There was a long pause while Dorian finally hugged him back, fists clutching the back of Revalas’s shirt and face buried in his neck, until his shaking subsided and his breathing settled.

“I… I do like the ring.” he eventually said, pulling away. His eyes were puffy and red, but the shimmer of tears was replaced with a glint of his usual sarcastic mirth. “It’s rather fetching on me, don’t you think?”

Revalas kissed his hand with a smile.

“Ar lath. Yes, vhenan. Absolutely stunning. I bet you could even charm the pants off a Qunari with your fashionable jewelry alone. No one would even notice your dashing good looks.”

Dorian flashed him a smile before tipping his drink back and draining the glass.

“Ah, and don’t forget my unmatchable wit and irritable charm.”

“Oh, Creators, I don’t think I could if I tried.”

[ayyy-imma-ninja]

I don’t care if it’s fucking called punishment for a reason and moon, I’m starting to hate you a lot for this overreaction and consistent denial of things. Do you wanna know something interesting within certain countries in Europe, it’s illegal to own one of any social creature because without interaction, social creatures will get depressed and will try to fucking kill themselves or will have a much shorter lives

Fairies seem to have a very similar cognitive abilities as humans, and I’m gonna tell you know some humans when forced into isolation. Try to fucking kill them selves, or go further in sane. What you’re not doing as a punishment it is torture. That makes you and every other fairy that’s pro, keeping him locked up forever without any social interaction horrible fairies!

So I don’t know what the fuck you’re going on about, but if you took a second actually listen to us and compare what we are saying to the outcome of what happened to fairies that have gone through and are going through his “punishment” I feel like you’d actually have a bit of empathy which you seem to be lacking right now. Jesus Christ. If you ever find my home, stay out of it because I don’t want you taking away any nightmares, or helping me sleep, I don’t want your brother anywhere near me if he’s just like you were thinking torture is an acceptable “punishment”

It’s not. Torture will never be an acceptable form of punishment, I’m sorry for being hard and very fucking aggressive with this, but it seems being aggressive is the only way that will get through your skull that maybe, isolating someone like this is horrid!

(by the way, humans have isolation cells for criminals that can’t be around other criminals, they still get social interaction though because we understand that without it everything it’s way worse.)

I'm going to break character and address this myself. With how aggressive this ask is, it wouldn't be appropriate for me to answer as one of the boys.

Yes. You are right. What Eclipse is going through is considered the very definition of torture, as punishment for the crime he's been accused of committing. In our world it is seen as cruel and unusual punishment, even inhuman to some. Everyone has different views and morals on that. Some hold to them, and some are willing to change their perspectives.

It's already been established that the laws of the Realm are different to the ones of our world. And in both, there are laws that not everyone likes but have to follow.

Sun has his views, that have yet to be seen. Moon has his views, which you all have seen. They both have these perspectives based off of what they know and have seen. Yet one thing that hasn't been revealed yet is their relationship with their former brother. What had led them to these views in the first place. No one except me and a handful of others know their past. The whole picture has not been revealed yet. There is a reason for that. There is a reason why they feel the way they do regarding this, and that will be explored soon.

You can agree or disagree with these views if you wish, you all have that right. Those are your morals.

But also, I feel the need to remind everyone-

this is a story.

I am glad it's gotten a lot of people invested, but please remember this is just me telling a story with characters I love with an AU I have made. Characters that all have different views about certain things that will likely clash with one another.

And I will clarify: my personal views on this subject are not reflected through the fairies, especially Moon. These differing and even questionable views are purely for intended for storytelling.

[fattypat-rick-ty]

Y’all it was too much. I couldn’t watch the movie with my parents cause it was too stressful [emotionally] and they only like me cause I’m kissing up to them so they can stop bullying me like- it was all just too fake and I can’t stand being near them Idk how to act and I’m scared they’ll see through my like.. fake love? Even though I do love them but being what they want is so tiresome. I’m pretty sure they’re going to forget what holiday is coming up like every other year anyway, not that I want them to cause I don’t want to be reminded of how old and deteriorated I am I just want them to give me money tbh so I can leave the house and pretend my life doesn’t exist 😭 and the pressure to eat pizza like I’m scared it’ll trigger me and I’ll eat the whole damn kitchen like the fat blob that I am and I’ve been losing so much like I just want to be skinny for my •••••day more than anything. If I can’t celebrate the way I want then at the very least I want to ⭐️v and be the thinnest I can possibly be! God please give me that one thing this •••••day you know? I never ask for anything like gifts and such other than to go out and do something that makes me happy

Like my siblings too, I feel every time I talk they can’t wait for me to shut up and Idk if they’re just depressed or if they really think I’m that annoying and my parents I can never tell how they’ll react around me. I just want to have at least one friend to not feel like a burden around. This community is the only thing keeping me sane and from feeling crazy over how lonely I am and it feels like it’s all because I’m fat I hate my body

I love my body

I hate my life

I love myself

I could be better

PS I’m planning to at least watch Lisa Frankenstein and hopefully I figure out something to do with the other 14-22 hours of that awful day 😤😭🥹

any advice would be greatly appreciated and if you’d just like to vent you’re welcome to ❤️

[saphilous]

oh i have bpd too! i was diagnosed in october 2020 at 18 years old. however i have been struggling with mental illness ever since i started puberty at around 10 years old.

you said you are handling your bpd well, and i’m happy for you! i know it must’ve been hard so congrats! :)

but i was wondering if you could share any tips on how to control bpd? i’m struggling a lot. the littlest things make me suicidal, i can’t be left alone bc i’ll hurt myself, i have zero friends because i’m so scared of abandonment, etc

i want to get better but i don’t know how. everyone just says therapy or yoga, but therapy is too expensive and i have trauma related to yoga so….

i am on medication though and it helps, but not enough.

if you don’t feel comfy sharing your tips or answering this i totally understand! i won’t be mad if you just delete this :)

anyway i hope you have a great day or night!

Hey bud!

So I was diagnosed at 16-17 but has been struggling with it throughout my life. It sucks like a lot.. I got to a point where I was in a fully toxic relationship where the other person was actively encouraging me to SH at a point. Getting out of that relationship pushed me into a 6 month long crippling depression period where I did not leave my house at all, literally not even once.

It did take a while to get back to a relatively "normal" state. I got lucky and found some pretty good friends through a game and that was one of the things I could hold on to. But I do go BPD on them all the time, although internally. Worrying that they're gonna abandon me or worse hate me but not tell me that

I just try to distract myself from those thoughts as quickly as possible by closing chat and scrolling through Tumblr or doing something else that I'm actively obsessed with like a VG or cooking.

And I get your situation as well. Therapy is way too expensive than its supposed to be. I'm glad you're taking meds tho. They do help in the longterm even if the effects are not that noticeable immediately :)

The best advice I can give (even tho I don't think I'm qualified to lol) is to acknowledge the BPD. I know it's not easy at all. Takes a lot of energy to keep yourself sane every second of everyday. BPD is an active issue. It's gonna take a lot to bear all of that and not let it effect our lives too much. Ik everyone says it'll get better while the world is actively getting worse every single day, it is important to remind ourselves what matters to us. For me, it's pets, my writing, my plants, etc. BPD makes me feel like anything can leave me at any moment. That puts me in a constant alert mode. So I write random stories when I feel like I'm spiraling. I go and take care of my plants, cut dried out leaves, water them, etc., I cook or look at pics of my friends' pets or cats of tumblr. Mostly because these can't abandon me ig? Like anyone can take anyything away from me but not my ability to write. Makes me feel like I'm being myself. And it acts like an outlet cus most of my OCs have BPD too lol.

I try not to get too attached to my friends but it happens lol. They don't know I have BPD but they're pretty nice. Having a friend group helps a lottt! It might take a while to find them. I found it last year after struggling to maintain any sort of friends for so long. I hope you can find people like that too ❤️

But hey, until then It's important to find or create something that we can call our own.

I don't think I can ever recover from BPD. Don't even know if I can ever be "normal" But I'm gonna continue to be weird af and live life on my terms because fuck life. And it tends to fuck me a lot too lol

I have no idea if that made any sense but hey! You're always welcome to text me or send me an anon ask if you're feeling down!

If I can have a wish, it'll be to just eliminate BPD and the trauma that led to it for everyone :)

[sondepoch]

Oh, Sister! (Pierro x Reader ft. Harbingers)

You’ve always been a useless sister, a thorn at his side, his lone weakness amidst all his strength—but Pierro realizes you might be useful, for once, when he sees just how interested his fellow Harbingers are in you.  

Or: Pierro gets the Harbingers in line by giving them an incentive. You.

WORD COUNT: 3.3k

TAGS: INCEST, dubcon, implied power dynamics, dom/sub, voyeurism, exhibitionism, fingering, implied orgy, reader has a vagina and clit

PAIRING: Pierro x Reader (feat. the Harbingers)

GENERAL: This fic is part of a series. Each part of this series will feature a different character from Genshin Impact and their beloved little sister. Smut. You can read the masterlist for this series HERE.

He hates how much he loves you.

It’s always irked him. He’s the strongest man in the world, probably, someone who’s lived for centuries and felled whole civilizations at his sword, someone who’s even now plotting world domination—and yet, the Tsaritsa was able to conquer him so effortlessly with a single threat, reminding him that while he’s nigh invincible, you aren’t.

Pierro knows it’s not your fault you’re only useful for warming his cock, knows he can’t truly blame you for the way you’ve only ever thought with that pretty pussy of yours when he’s always been the brainpower for both of you—and, deep down inside, he knows he doesn’t actually hate it. Your soft, warm skin is the only thing he truly looks forward to anymore, and the comfort of your arms is the one thing keeping him sane.

Still, though, Pierro has always been frustrated with how much effort he puts into protecting you both, how little you're able to help him in turn.

Now is the chance to undo all of that.

When this is over, he’ll pepper your face with kisses until you’ve forgotten everything, until there’s a docile smile glued to your face and you’re giggling sweetly, wrapping your arms and legs around his body and reciprocating his love like the angel you are.

Now, however, is the time for order.

“P-please,” you whisper, tugging meekly on the giant robe he wears. “I’m scared. What if they hurt me, they don’t know—”

“I promise none of their cocks are larger than mine,” Pierro hums, lifting a big hand to cup your face. And, really, that much is true. Pierro isn’t exactly human, and his monsterlike body ranks first in everything: authority, power, and certainly size. Arlecchino’s waist has the girth of Pierro’s bicep, Tartaglia’s broad shoulders are the length of Pierro’s forearm, and Capitano—

Well, you might have a little trouble with Capitano.

But Pierro will make sure you’re well prepared for all of them.

“I don’t want them, though,” you whisper meekly, sniffing. Your nude figure curls in on itself atop Pierro’s lap, and the man almost considers changing his mind until he hears the sound of his fellow Harbingers’ footsteps drawing nearer. “Please, I only want you, please, brother, please just—”

“Pierro,” the Harbinger says smoothly before you can utter his name. “For this night, you must call me Pierro. Understand, love?”

“Okay, P-Pierro,” you stutter, and he can tell you hate the way his moniker falls off your lips, hate the way you can’t even call him by his true name.”But Pierro, please—”

Three knocks ring out from the other side of the hall, and the Harbinger can feel your whole body go still. He presses a comforting squeeze to your waist, kissing your forehead once, twice, and then he steels himself. For centuries, he has risked his life to keep you safe, using his body, mind, and soul to ensure nothing but the absolute best for you. Now, just for one night, he needs you to reciprocate a fraction of that sacrifice. 

“I will watch,” he promises solemnly. “And if they push you too far, I will intervene.”

Slowly, you blink back tears and nod.

That’s all the affirmation Pierro needs.

“Come in,” he orders, and the double doors to the Fatui War Chamber swing wide open. Eight Harbingers waltz effortlessly into the deep blue darkness, their armors shining in the moonlight as you whimper at the sight. Already, they’re talking, bickering, arguing, and the noise raises a familiar headache to Pierro’s mind. Their countless squabbles overlap, and the Harbinger can hardly tell whose voice belongs to whom.

“—absolutely pointless, as always.”

“Is that so? I’d love to see you decipher the sacred texts. Or would you rather continue mourning—”

“Now, now, Dottore, let’s not go that far. I doubt—”

“Oh, is going far our concern now, Pantalone? If I recall, you were the one most adamant about—”

“Please, that was Pulcinella! I could never be so unmoved. Isn’t that true, Co—”

“Not at all. If anything, this entire argument is utterly—”

“Risible? I think it’s time to find a new adjective, dearest Marionette, or—”

“Must you always interrupt? Sometimes I wonder why Pierro hasn’t put you in your place yet.”

“Maybe it’s because Pierro appreciates my commentary. Isn’t that right, o' great lord Pi…”

All the Harbingers come to a halt when they finally look to the center of the room where their leader sits—but illuminated in the moonlight isn’t his figure alone. No, their eyes catch on the graceful shape of you, perched prettily on his thighs with a terrified, anxious look on your face that has each of them aching to get a better look. No one speaks. No one moves. For the first time since Signora's death, they seem truly stunned.

Good, Pierro thinks, enjoying their awed silence.

The man's lips curl into a grin when he sees how the sight of you instantly tames the lot of them. For the first time in weeks, these hallowed halls are dead silent even with every reporting Harbinger standing between them. Under their sharp, hungry gazes, you shift in Pierro’s lap, drawing your knees in so that they can’t see your pussy, your tits, but Pierro knows that the very sight of your flesh is enough.

“Well?” he calls, his empty smile bordering on a smirk. “You’re all late. Be seated at once.”

With unusual obedience, the Harbingers all move into their places, but they want your attention, now. Eyes fixed on you, they begin speaking.

“You had us under the impression that you wanted our efficiency to increase,” Capitano calls, his empty head of armor twisted your way. “Or have you already acquired Scaramouche’s whereabouts?”

“Maybe he finally got bored of figuring out how to hunt Scaramouche down,” Tartaglia taunts. "Or maybe he's just bored of us."

“Doubtful. The Tsaritsa ordered us to locate him. This isn’t the time for…” Sandrone’s cold eyes rake down your nude body. “...distractions.”

They’re right. Pierro usually only has you sit in on the most unimportant meetings: the ones where he doesn’t really need to be there but wants to simply keep them in line, playing with the folds of your pussy while his coworkers talk because he hates how their inefficient squabbling can keep him away from your loving embrace, hates how his position as Number One forces him to keep them in line even on the days where they don’t need him present.

Today, however, they have an important matter to discuss: something they’ve been debating for weeks.

For Pierro to bring you in now, when the time for them to finally agree and unite is drawing especially near—it goes against everything he’s ever done.

“Today, I have a challenge for you all,” Pierro says, and he can feel you squirm, feel you get nervous at the idea he’s about to pitch. “Since the incentive of the Tsaritsa’s favor isn’t enough for you fools, I’ve decided to give you another reward.”

Pierro wraps his thick fingers around your thighs, and with the barest shaving of his true iron strength, he pries your legs apart and pulls your back flush against his chest. Your pussy glistens from when Pierro had sucked on your clit earlier, twitches from how you’re still near that edge, and fully contracts in response to the eight hungry gazes that pierce it, and the pitiful whine that spills past your lips makes Pierro’s next offer even more tempting.

“Whoever pitches the idea to capture Scaramouche gets to make my little sister cum.”

And instantly, for the first time, all eight of them are actually trying to figure out how to acquire the Harbinger who got away, not one of them daring to ask why the ever-possessive Pierro is finally offering to let them fuck you when he used to threaten anyone with death for daring to look at you too long. Indeed, they're trying to make sure Pierro won't change his mind, trying to now complete the task he's presented them with in haste so that he won't take this tempting offer away—especially when they've watched him fuck you in front of them for weeks, all without ever having the permission to touch—and Pierro can only smile as his colleagues begin genuinely trying to determine the best way to bring Scaramouche back.

“—need to shut off the borders to Inazuma without starting a war. I can have my men pose as bandits around Ritou, and with him locked inside the nation, we can search for him island by island—”

“A dignitary like you could never understand, but such inaction is useless. Locating Scaramouche will never be enough. We’re better off distributing spies across the nearest nations with on-call skirmisher units to—”

“And risk losing valuable men and letting him realize we’re hunting him? The only people who can defeat Scaramouche are us fellow Harbingers. And I’m the strongest mobile fighter. I should go out on a hunt—”

“Oh, because you’re capable of being in every nation at once? A single bounty hunter isn’t enough. What we really need to do is contact every bank and threaten to cut off financial support unless Scaramouche is discovered. Then, they’ll have equal incentive to find him, so—”

For the first time, Pierro starts to hear real solutions.

He grins, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“See?” he whispers to you, grinning darkly. “You’re getting them to actually do something instead of sitting here like idiots. Doesn’t that make you proud?”

“They’re all looking at me…” 

You squirm as Pierro continues to hold your legs apart, and he almost feels bad. Even as they discuss, all eight Harbingers keep their eyes fixed on you, like starving wolves staring at the first food they’ve seen in weeks. And Pierro doesn’t know how often the lot of them fuck, whether they all even have such base interests…but it’s clear that each of them wants that prize he's offering for themselves.

You seem to realize it, too, and your eyes flicker away from Pantalone's skittishly when they meet. 

Pierro wants to tell you that your bashful little act, the way you’re so obviously anxious, only fuels them further. That these are monsters for men, and that they only want you more because of how scared you are of them. 

But, your bashfulness is also what is making Pierro’s reward so tempting, so he lets you be.

The humidity in the room rises, and Pierro begins playing with your pussy. Your soft, quiet moan draws their attention instantly, and the first Harbinger raises an eyebrow when they go silent in hopes of hearing it again.

“What?” he asks. “I won’t let her cum. I’m just getting her wet for you.”

Pierro presses a finger inside your pussy, and the lewd moan that spills from your lips—a moan that taunts, tempts, and teases all of them because they’re doubtlessly desperate to hear that sound again, aching to be responsible for you making that sound again—could shatter the warming air.

Their focus on the task at hand increases in turn.

“Forget all of that. Scaramouche has always wanted to go to Natlan, let’s just search there, so—”

Something strange is in the air, Pierro can tell. It’s getting warmer, thicker, wetter—but he chalks it off to the rising tension of his fellow, visioned Harbingers.

“Fucking dumbass. We can’t ignore the chance of him being elsewhere. We should just put out a bounty—”

Pierro starts fucking you with his finger, subtly rubbing his growing bulge against your ass. A single glance around the table confirms that every other man is hard, and Pierro almost feels sorry for them.

“And risk someone else finding the Gnosis? Forget that, let’s just—”

He wipes away the sheen of sweat on your forehead, curling his finger into the one spot that always has your toes curling. It works, and instantly, you’re spreading your legs even wider for the audience, moaning debauchedly as you babble mindlessly about how good it feels, whimpering his name.

“No, no, a bounty might work if we make it Fatui-wide instead of—”

Pierro can feel your core beginning to clamp tighter and tighter around his finger, and right when you’re at the precipice, right when you’re there, he retracts.

“What if we—”

All the Harbingers fall silent when Pierro pulls his finger from you, cruelly yanking you away from your high when you were so close. At once, you start whining into the silence. “No, no, no,” you mewl, hips bucking in vain as you tug on Pierro’s robes, staring up at him with desperate, wanting eyes, ignorant to how your display of absolute whorishness will only make things worse for you. “Please let me cum, please, please just—”

Pierro feels guilty. Edging has always been your weakness, and while he’s at last grown used to your utter…shamelessness when tempted, his fellow Harbingers aren’t nearly as unaffected.

A beat of silence passes, and your lip curls into a pout.

Then, the eight Harbingers get even louder, standing up and beginning to shout ideas at each other. It's so intense that the humidity in the air starts rising again, so Pierro looks around warily at the room to see if one of the Harbingers is doing it intentionally, but all he finds is Tartaglia looking especially intensely at your quivering hole, ignoring the ongoing discussion in favor of watching your wanton expression.

What a child, Pierro thinks. How pathetic.

It’s getting too noisy for him to keep track of who’s suggesting what anymore. All he knows is that everyone's ideas are equally flawed, so he leaves the Harbingers to filter out the best plans themselves and merely continues playing with your pussy—this time focusing his attention on your clit, rubbing slow, gentle circles.

“Oh,” you moan, eyes fluttering closed. All inhibitions seem to have vanished. “Oh, oh, Pierro—”

He builds you to another high, cautiously waiting for the moment he’ll have to rip it away, and the moisture in the room continues to rise unnaturally, your skin practically glowing with shine as you writhe and writhe, so edged from before that you’re already nearing another high, and—

Pierro pulls his fingers away from your hole with a smug grin, but he notices that the moisture of the room is getting higher. That it’s starting to get so wet and humid around your body that your little clit is reacting, and—

All the Harbingers fall silent when the humidity drops to nothing, cracking dry in the sudden, absolute absence of moisture, and you're so pathetic that the slap of evaporation that tugs through your folds is enough to push you over the edge even without physical stimulation. Pierro can only watch as your eyes roll back and your mouth falls open, a disgusting look of ecstasy washing through your face as you cum for all the Harbingers to see like a cheap whore, like a pathetic slut, like the useless little sister you are who can't even be put up as a reward without ruining things.

Pierro is furious.

“Tartaglia,” he hisses when he sees how the Hydro user is grinning in naivety at how his little trick with humidity made you cum. “Tartaglia, I could banish you from the Fatui for this, you—”

"What?" the young man asks, a broad grin on his face as he winks at you. "I didn't touch."

"You—"

“Do it again,” Pantalone interrupts, his ever-closed eyes opened into slits that stare, mesmerized, at your still-orgasmic face. “We may not be able to touch her yet, but—”

"No, let me try," Dottore interrupts, his own vision seeping into the air around you, and Pierro realizes that he might have tempted his soldiers too much. 

The discussion around Scaramouche has stopped completely. Pierro realizes that they only discussed him to begin with because it was a means to an end, a way of possibly getting to touch you, and now, they've found another way to do that entirely. His leverage is lost, his stupid plan foiled, and—

And there's still a way to control them, Pierro realizes abruptly, seeing that he can still increase his original offer.

The Harbinger looks down at you, your dazed half-smile, and he wonders if you even realize that it was Tartaglia who made you cum. He can tell it just made you hornier, can feel the slick pooling on his thigh as you stare up at him with big, adoring eyes and...

Well, he thinks. This is just repayment for everything I've done for her.

Pierro glances around to room to confirm that every single person in the room is now ogling your body, the way you’re still twitching, the way you were able to cum untouched in a manner that doubtlessly has them all aching to replicate, aching to feel, aching to cause, and Pierro realizes that pitting his friends against each other was a mistake.

They all want you.

Bad enough to overcome even their hatred for each other, perhaps.

“Let me amend my earlier statement,” Pierro says, eyes dark. He pulls you closer in a silent apology, brushing his lips against your shoulder. “If all of you can come up with a singular plan to locate Scaramouche, I’ll let all of you fuck her.”

You stiffen in Pierro’s hold, and he raises the stakes ever higher.

“At the same time.”

And they react so quickly that they don’t even hear your terrified mewl, don’t even see the way you stare up at Pierro with betrayed, teary eyes that have his cock getting harder beneath those thick, furred robes. 

"Don’t worry,” he mumbles. “I’ll prepare you,” he says, and he sticks two fingers into your twitching hole, stretching you methodically because he’s now certain you’ll need it.

But he hardly has time.

The Harbingers are so overcome with desire that they unite instantly under their shared goal to acquire you. No longer are they vying to win Pierro’s coveted award alone. At last, they’re on the same team, and with eight minds thinking together, they manage to identify a plan in unison that upholds the Fatui’s standards, minimizes resources and personnel wasted, and, most importantly, will locate Scaramouche with near-perfect efficiency.

Pierro is almost surprised at how quickly they do it: three weeks’ worth of arguments settling in a manner of minutes, and he wonders if this was always their plan, if they always wanted to put Pierro’s back to a wall so that they might get a chance at touching you.

Whatever the case is, he has no time to contemplate it.

Pierro kisses your forehead twice and then lays you out on the table.

You whimper pathetically, reaching out in vain for him, but all you catch is his shadow. Terrified eyes dart to the eight faces that are about to devour you, and Pierro sighs.

“First come first serve,” he says, and as punishment for Tartaglia’s earlier stunt, the man uses his vision to slow the eleventh Harbinger’s movements just a tad, letting all the others get their prized spots first, leaving the eleventh with only a hand that he quickly smells and nips and licks—and the sight that then graces Pierro has him thinking that you might truly enjoy this, that this will feel like a reward for you as much as it is one for them. 

Then, Pierro sees the monstrous smiles on each of their faces—Arlecchino’s grin as she kneels between your legs on the table, Pantalone’s smirk as he shoves his fingers inside your mouth, Dottore’s simper as he presses both thumbs against your nipples—and Pierro realizes that he’s handed you over to monsters.

Well.

Perhaps this will be a good exercise for getting you used to their touch, their habits.

Because after seeing just how well these Harbingers worked when Pierro set you as their goal and prize, he realizes that he’s going to be doing it much more often in the future. 

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST

Word Count: 3.3k

Notes: finally had the courage to post this stuff on main!! comment who you want to see next! hopefully it wont take me nine months to update, this time

Reblog, Comment, & Like

Thank you for reading <3

[suchalonelysunflower]

Let Your Silence Grow (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood x Fem! Reader

Summary: After a one sided confrontation, Calum has to face your silent treatment

Warnings: Angst. Calum is an asshole. Language. Mentions of alcohol. Some grammatical errors (English is not my first language I’m sorry)

Word count: 7.7K

Author’s Note: This lil piece comes a bit late for @hoodhoran ‘s birthday and a bit early for Calum’s but what a way to start the Aquarius season! Remember that Reblogs, Feedback, Comments and likes are very important and they help a lot, also yelling at me is allowed ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋✨🌻

My materialist // taglist on the bio!

To be fair, he was tired. He was so tired and the week was not even close to being over. Everything was going wrong; some samples of the new songs got lost; the release date for the new single kept getting pushed back; the tour management had to cancel a few performances for scheduling conflicts that they created; and, as the straw that broke the camel's back, he hasn’t eaten for almost a day trying to figure this whole thing out before it ends up killing them, and he was starving.

“Okay, let’s go over it one more time…” Luke sighed, running a hand through his hair as he stared at the notebook on his table.

“We went over it five fucking times!” Calum groaned, wanting nothing more than to shut down the computer and go to sleep. But these meetings were mandatory, and no one was happy about it.

It was bad enough that they were forced to fix things that were out of their reach, but given that the four members of the band were scattered across the country, they had to do it over Zoom again and there was nothing Calum hated more, using that app only reminded him about the times where that was the only thing keeping him sane by communicating him with his loved ones.

Now, Ashton was somewhere hiding in the mountains, Michael was at a vineyard on vacation and, even though Luke stayed in LA as well as Calum, his throat was starting to hurt, so he opted to stay at home.

“This is ridiculous…” Calum muttered under his breath, not shying his frustration from his bandmates, and of course, not from you.

You were standing in the kitchen with a worried glance across your face, drumming your fingers upon the marbled countertop as you debated on whether or not to enter the office and offer Calum some sort of comfort.

The loud voices and frustrated groans could be heard all over the house, not to mention how talking to Cal lately meant walking over eggshells from how stressed he was. You haven’t seen him smile in so long, you were starting to worry you might forget how it looked.

With a sigh, you tried to keep yourself busy, make all of the chores all over again so you don’t have to focus on the raging, horrible mood that Calum has set over the house. You know it wasn’t his fault, but he was also not doing anything for it to change, and you were getting tired of tiptoeing around his mood all day long just for him to sulk and complain without telling you how he really feels or even acknowledges you’re there. You wish you could help him just a little bit, show him that he’s not alone in this; but the more he pushes you away, the more you think he doesn’t want you there.

It was hard enough as it is to have a conversation with him these past few days, let alone a kiss or a sweet pet name or a soft touch… And yes, that might be your neediness talking but shit, you miss your boyfriend. And, somehow, you wish he missed you as well.

An hour had passed and Calum had not come out of his office yet, the muffled voices of the conversation still rang through the house, and even though you couldn’t understand what they were saying, it was obvious they were having another argument.

“Okay, that’s enough” You muttered under your breath. You couldn’t take it anymore, all this pent-up energy that had no positive outcomes was becoming too much and you couldn’t just sit and watch without trying to at least make it better for him.

You knew he was stressed, you knew he needed a break even though he won’t take one no matter how much you could insist, but that doesn’t mean you will just let his bad humor get to him forever. Maybe all he needed was something that could make him smile, at least for a while; let him know that you were there for him and that he needn’t take this toll on his own anymore.

A simple recipe of macadamia nuts and white chocolate chips cookies will do, after all, you had all the ingredients and you knew they were Calum’s favorites. He hasn’t eaten all day, so this seemed like the best option to get on his good side.

Still, that small pit of anxiety thundered inside your chest as you started baking. You knew you were deflecting as well, always finding baking as some sort of escape from reality when things were starting to go sour, hoping to gain some feeling of control over things that fled from your power, much like Calum’s predicaments.

The walls he put up were not his fault, and all you could do was sit outside hoping and waiting for him to open them up and let you in again. He didn’t notice you waiting like a soldier outside of the Trojan walls, all he could think about was the war inside of his head, thinking of himself like Achilles and forgetting his fatal flaw. And, like Patroclus, you could only take so much as he came back after the battle, wounded and regretful, but pretending nothing had happened even though you had front row seats to his downfall.

They say when two people love each other, two hearts become one and the love they have feels limitless. No one mentioned that the pain could feel the same, especially when one feels powerless before it.

No, not entirely powerless. You have those cookies, and while it’s not a solution and it might not make everything better in an instant, it could help. All you want to do is help.

You start to carefully plate the cookies so you could present them to him, almost as if it were an offer to the King, and even though that thought made you feel silly and even chuckle a bit, you felt proud of how good they looked; made with love and care for him, for the two of you. And to let him know you’ll always be there.

With a wide smile and a heart filled with love, you started making your way toward the office, walking carefully so you wouldn’t mess up the plating or, god forbid, trip and let the cookies fall.

The muffled voices could still be heard from the other side of the door, and in order not to disturb too much, you decided it would be best if you just knocked softly enough only for Calum to hear. After all, if it wasn’t a good time, you know he would let you know.

You balanced yourself on your heels and smiled as you knocked for a second time, fearing that he might’ve not heard the first time, still, not loud enough for everyone to hear, and if he didn’t get it now then you’ll just turn around and wait for the meeting to be over.

But that smile you wore suddenly wiped itself away from your face as you heard a loud “For fuck’s sake!” coming from the room accompanied by the sound of the small wheels attached to the chair sliding across the floor. You were too slow to move.

In a matter of seconds, Calum opened the door, eyes filled with anger fixed on your face as it fell completely bearing witness to a stranger’s face. Because you knew that the person in front of you wasn’t your Calum. No, your Calum would never make you feel scared with just one look.

“What do you want?” He half-whispered, half-shouted. Not a glance spared to the plate you were holding in your hands.

The coldness of his voice made you flinch, not expecting that reaction at all as you tried to compose yourself enough to answer.

“I- I-” You stuttered, and he wasn’t having it.

“Jesus fucking christ!” Calum wiped a hand across his face, letting the anger take over “Fucking stop with your stuttering if you’re not going to say something important! Fuck, that’s all you’re going to say especially after all the fucking noise you were making!”

Were you making noise? Shit, you didn’t even know. But at the same time, you didn’t even have time to think about it as Calum’s voice kept getting louder and louder and even more impatient.

“All you fucking do is get in my way while I’m doing something important. So for once have a little respect and just shut up! Jesus, I shouldn’t even have to tell you this! It’s fucking common sense!”

You felt his eyes on you, hard and sharp like a dagger cutting through you. He stood tall, a frown everlasting on his face and suddenly you felt like a child, so small and defenseless as you looked at your feet while swallowing the knot inside your throat.

“Well?!” He yelled, rolling his eyes “You know what? Forget it! I’m in the middle of something and it’ll be great if you could just shut up for a minute and leave me alone! I’m having enough trouble as it is for you to keep bothering me…” The last sentence sounded as if he were the one who was hurting right now, but you knew damn well that he was choosing to ignore the tears that were started to gather in your eyes “Just- Go somewhere else and let me be for just one fucking day!”

You heard the slam of the door before you felt it, the small breeze it created serving as the cue for your eyes to give up the fight and let the tears roll silently down your cheeks. Your feet were still glued to the floor, knees shaking as you tried to hold on to the plate with cookies that he never even bothered to look at.

A sob threatened to escape your lips, but you bite down on it, afraid to even make the smallest noise that could make him yell at you again. It was the first time he raised his voice, and you would make it your mission to make it the last. You’ll forfeit the fight you were never meant to fight to begin with. If that’s what he wants, that’s what he’ll get. You were not going to be a bother anymore.

*

He didn’t mean to slam the door as hard as he did, but he was still so angry to even care about it at this moment. He knows you know he didn’t mean it, he was just stressed, you would understand. But now there wasn’t time to let those feelings in, not when they were still arguing about writing sessions and release dates. There were more important topics on the table than to open the can of worms he just created between the two of you.

Calum let out a long sigh as he took a deep breath while looking at the ceiling, hoping to calm down enough to go back to the video call and not start yelling at his bandmates again. But once he sat down again and saw the horrified faces of his friends, he realized…

“Shit,” He muttered, “I thought I muted myself”

“And that’s supposed to make it better?!” Michael asked, a shocked expression across his face.

Ashton didn’t even look at him as he bit the inside of his cheek, clearly holding back as he asked “What the fuck was that?”

“Nothing,” Calum grumbled.

“Didn’t sound like nothing”

“Do you always yell at her like that?!”

Calum wasn’t yelling, was he? No, he would never, not at you. He raised his voice, but he wasn’t- he didn’t… He couldn’t have.

“I didn’t mean it…” He excused himself, hating the fact that he sounded like a child that just got scolded. But he’d never seen Ashton so disappointed.

“Does Y/N know that?”

You have to, for sure you will know that he didn’t mean it. He just… wait, what did he say to you? Why couldn’t he remember it? He was so blinded by the anger and stress, so caught up he didn’t realize the words that were coming out of his mouth. But judging by the eyes of his friends, it couldn’t have been something good.

“I- I’ll talk to Y/N later,” He sighed, not even looking at them “Right now we have to figure out when Luke’s finally going to be available for- Luke? We said no phones!-”

“What? You’re going to tell me to shut up and leave as you did to her?” He said, cold as ice as he kept texting. Calum just sank more into his seat “I’m texting Sierra to check on Y/N, something you should be doing, actually”

Calum rolled his eyes “Good thing is not any of your business-”

“You made it our business after yelling at her in front of us” Luke interrupted, looking more serious as ever, the other guys matching that expression “If you’re that fucking stressed then you take it out on us or yourself but we keep our partners out of it”

“Shit, okay!” Calum raised his arms defeatedly as he got up from his seat “I’ll go apologize, jesus”

He closed the door of the office after hearing Michael mutter “I’ll be surprised if she even takes it”

The silence was something that took him by surprise the moment he stepped foot on the hall. He doesn’t know if it’s the guilt that’s making it so unsettling, he just knows he doesn’t like it.

With a sigh, he started to walk around the house, looking for you in every corner and calling your name. Your keys were still on the table and your bag was on the couch next to a very sound sleeping Duke, he knows you’re still in the house but he also knows you’re hiding from him.

The feeling of remorse kept creeping inside of him, swallowing him whole with every step he made where he didn’t find you. It was easy to pretend to have it all under control with his friends, but the longer it took for him to look for you, the longer he was starting to lose it completely.

Finally, he opened the door to your room, calling your name with a hidden urgency. The sound of the shower made him let out a breath of relief. You didn’t leave, you were still here.

“Y/N!” He called, walking over to the bathroom with a newfound hope as he knocked on the door “Babe!”

But you couldn’t hear him, or at least that’s what he thought since you didn’t answer. And, for some sick reason, Calum felt glad. He wasn’t ready to apologize yet, not because he didn’t feel sorry for what he did, but because he didn’t know what to say to make it better. He knows you deserve a good apology, not just a regurgitation of words that resemble a “sorry” The two of you need a bit of space before you could talk again, and he feels like the bathroom is not the best place to do it anyways.

So he sighed and started to walk away, feeling how his heart begged him to stay with every painful beat, knowing you could talk about it later. He knows you know. What he didn’t know was how inside the bathroom you were standing under the stream of the shower, crying silently until every intake of breath hurt like a knife across your chest.

Calum went back down, making his way to the office when he felt the dryness of his throat. He made a detour to the kitchen for a glass of water, and that’s when he noticed them.

“Fuck,” He muttered under his breath.

The cookies were still perfectly placed over the plate, with a dash of cinnamon and next to an untouched cup of coffee that you must’ve forgotten. Was this the reason you knocked on his door? Because you made his favorite cookies, knowing he didn’t have time to eat and… Shit, now he felt like a proper asshole.

He almost wished they were bad, a small reason that could lighten the guilt he felt. But no, of course the cookies were perfect. He couldn’t help but moan at the first bite, being able to taste the love and care and just… just how much of an asshole he was, now he was sure of it.

His eyes darted towards the stairs, wondering if you were already out of the shower and if maybe he should go and try again, apologize properly and let you know how much he appreciated what you did for him. But, at the same time, he wondered if you would even want to see him right now.

With a shake of his head, he decided to go back into the meeting, thinking it’ll be best to just give you both time to cool down at least for now, he will apologize later. He took a couple of cookies and went back into the office.

“So?”

“Shower” Was all he said, not missing the way his friends shook their heads with disappointment “What?”

“Nothing,” Michael answered with a sigh, looking curiously through the screen “What are those?”

Calum furrowed his eyebrows at the question until he remembered the cookies, shame lacing his next words “Oh, yeah. Um, Y/N made them”

Luke visibly cringed “Dude, you better fix this”

The meeting lasted for a couple more hours, but Calum couldn’t seem to focus or even pretend to care anymore. His thoughts were filled with you, remembering the way your eyes filled with tears and how you would look at the ground, almost as if you were scared of him. Every second that passed became another memory filled with guilt. He’s never yelled at you like that, you didn’t deserve it, and he promised himself never to do it again. Yet, he knows he should promise that to you, not to the image of you inside of his head.

It was near 9 PM when he turned off his laptop and went looking for you again. You were laying in bed, the dark room almost swallowing you whole if it weren’t for the light of the hall where Calum stood, looking at you with the uttermost regret.

It was still early for bed, you knew that, but all the crying took every single ounce of energy that you had left, and when Calum opened the door, well…

“Y/N?” He asked in a small voice, still standing at the door. You could feel his hesitation “Y/N, baby, I-”

He started his sentence, but what could he say? Would his apology even count if you were sleeping?

You kept your eyes closed, fighting with the tears you thought you'd shed already, waiting to see what he had to say. But he just sighed, and the next thing you heard was him fumbling with his clothes until you felt the other side of the bed dip under his weight. You didn’t dare to turn around, to open your eyes. You didn’t dare to make it easy for him just yet.

Calum laid next to you, looking at your back as if it were a wall that you were starting to build around him. He tried to come closer, but you felt so far away and you didn’t even move. He prompted himself on his elbow, caressing his fingers over your hair as a million words got stuck inside his throat.

“I love you,” He whispered with a sadness lingering in his voice, and it took everything from you not to say it back immediately. You didn’t want to answer to a lie, and even when he leaned to place a small kiss on your forehead, you doubted its meaning.

That night you slept a million miles apart, even when you were an arm’s length.

*

The next morning you woke up early, or at least earlier than normal, and for a moment you forgot everything that happened yesterday. For a moment you could pretend everything was fine and that your relationship wasn’t balancing on breaking branches. But reality hit once you turned around and found the other side of the bed empty, just like the past few days. And, once again, you were on the tightrope again.

Calum’s words still rang inside your head, feeling humiliated at the thought that not only did he yell at you, but he did it in front of his bandmates. He’s never done that before, and yes, he was under a lot of stress lately, but that still didn’t give him the right to do so when all you wanted to do was cheer him up a little bit and you’ve never even got the chance to.

Now, your heart was debating with your pride. You love Calum, more than anything, you love him. But this kind of hurt… you didn’t know if it was something you could fix. You needed time, not only to cure your wounded heart but also to decide where to go next. If this is how it would always be with him, how much could you allow yourself to take?

The sound of something hard hitting the ground followed by a train of cussed words reverberated through the house, making you jump out of bed and hurry down the stairs in a matter of seconds.

There stood a half-naked Calum with a frying pan in one hand and the lid of a pot in the other, surrounded by a mess of cookware scattered around the floor that he might’ve dropped by accident.

You stayed where you were and didn’t say anything, even when Calum’s eyes found you in the middle of the kitchen, an apologetic look crossing his features.

“Y/N, I-“ He started, his cheeks blushing a little bit as his eyes avoided your gaze “I wanted to grab the pan but it was so far away I couldn’t reach it, and- I swear nothing broke!” He started to panic when he noticed you weren’t saying anything “I just- I wanted to make breakfast for you, I’m sorry I’m such a clutz”

He gave you a soft, shy smile, the kind that makes his dimples pop and that has your heart thundering along with a thousand butterflies on your stomach. And while that feeling is still there, there was a pain that came with it when you remembered how long it has been since you’ve seen him smile like that.

Calum’s heart, however, started beating anxiously when he noticed you didn’t smile back when you didn’t say anything at all.

“I, um, I was hoping we could talk?” He said, never feeling this nervous before “I wanted to talk with you about yesterday. More like, apologize for what happened”

You pressed your lips in a thin line and nodded without meeting his eyes, and when he offered you a seat at the kitchen island you didn’t move. You wanted to hear what he had to say, but you still wanted to tread lightly around him. Calum seemed to understand the message, and you could’ve sworn you saw a glimpse of hurt in his eyes.

“Y/N, yesterday I…” He started with a deep breath “I was out of line and I’m sorry. I was under a lot of stress and I took it out on you and that wasn’t fair to you, it should’ve never happened and I swear there will never be a next time. I was an idiot and an asshole and I promise you, baby, that none of the words I said reflect my feelings towards you. I’m really so fucking sorry, love”

His eyes were honest, they always were. But you couldn’t help but feel like there was something of truth in his words yesterday, even when he said there wasn’t.

Calum took your silence as a cue to continue, stepping closer to you as he said:

“I love you,” no hint of hesitation in his words “I love you so much and I’m sorry I hurt you. And I know you might not-“

“Okay,”

“Forgive- okay?”

“Okay.” You said again, almost as quiet as the silence itself “It’s okay, I forgive you”

“Babe, it’s not okay” Calum tried to clarify “It’s really not, I shouldn’t have-“

“But you did” You deadpanned and your tone hit Calum like a truck “And you’ve apologized and I forgive you”

In all honesty, Calum was not expecting it to be that easy. He was ready to fight with teeth and claws for your forgiveness, truly aware of his mistake and more than willing to fix it. But you just forgive him like that? No lecture, no talks about your feelings? He could say he feels relief, but in reality, he’s worried.

“If you’re sure-“

“Why wouldn’t I be?” And that’s the first time you look at him in the eyes, but for some reason, he can’t find you there.

Calum couldn’t find a reason that didn’t sound crazy. Why would he want to fight this? Why did you let it go so easily? It wasn’t like you, but at the same time…

“Okay,” He heard himself say, taking a step closer to you to wrap his arms around you and kiss you. But as he leaned over, you moved away; walking straight towards the coffee maker and starting to make your drink.

Calum stood there in shock, not really knowing what to make of that so he just cleared his throat and pretended it never happened as he leaned over the island.

“I was planning on making you coffee today before you woke up,” He said, his voice still lingering with a mix of guilt and hope as you turned your back to him. He had to talk over the machine noise, hoping you could still hear him “I- well, the guys and I decided that we need to have a few days off since the stress was getting all over us” He explained, playing with his hands nervously, almost like the first time he asked you out “I was hoping we could spend the day together, you know? Maybe watch a movie and cook lunch, go to Target or go on a walk like the old times?”

You still had your back turned to him, not giving him a proper answer as he grew more and more worried.

“Or we could just stay at home and do nothing if that’s what you want”

His voice grew quiet on that last sentence, looking down at his feet as he felt like an idiot for even suggesting something like that. But he was running out of options, he wanted to make sure that everything was, in fact, okay between the two of you. Still, the only thing that lingered on was the sound of the machine until it was finally done.

You turned around with your coffee in hand, looking in his direction but not directly at him as you spoke.

“I’m sorry, Cal. I’m actually going out with Sierra today”

Any other day you would’ve changed your plans with Sierra; any other day you would’ve dropped anything to spend a day with Calum doing the things you love most. But not today, not when his words were still fresh in your mind and your heart, not when he asked you to shut up and stop bothering him for at least a day.

“Oh, right” Calum felt like a propper fool, trying to keep the smile on his face “Have fun, then”

An awkward silence fell upon the two of you before you said “Okay, I’ll get going then. Will you be okay here by yourself?”

“Yeah, yeah!” He tried to seem more cheerful, not wanting you to feel bad about him “I’ll just… start cleaning! Haven’t done that in a while, it’ll be cathartic” And he almost felt proud of the small smile that almost drew on your lips.

You turned to leave when you heard him say:

“I love you!”

He should’ve done something when he didn’t hear you say it back.

*

A week has passed since the incident and everything’s been pretty normal. You wake up at the same time, you eat your meals, do your work and then go back to bed. The only difference is you don’t talk as much as you used to.

It was a conscious thing at first, knowing that Calum needed to concentrate on his things and not wanting to bother him so you wouldn’t get yelled at again. You started to give him the space he asked for, getting out of his way and not talking unless directly spoken to, and whenever he did, you limit yourself to simple answers that would satisfy you both like “Yeah, sounds good” or “Not today, I’m sorry” He never asked beyond that and you thought that was what he wanted, so you unconsciously adopted that as the week went on.

Calum, on the other hand, was losing it whenever you wouldn’t look his way or you wouldn’t even let him touch you. You would wake up next to him and go spend the day away; never sharing a space for more than a few minutes before you moved to another area; you would go to bed at the same time but you didn’t cuddle anymore, never kissed him back whenever he did and pulling away whenever his fingers such as graced your skin, almost as if he were poisonous or something.

It was driving him absolutely mad and he didn’t know what to do. He thought you had forgiven him; you said you forgave him! So why does this feel like torture? Was this on purpose? Sometimes he felt as if the North Pole was warmer than your shoulder as if he was the worst criminal on death row and you were the judge prolonging the sentence until he begged and cried for mercy.

How crazy it seemed that his life turned upside down without you there even if you were just a few meters apart? He was barely functioning as it is, but not having you, not being able to cuddle with you or even kiss you goodnight, it was taking a harder toll on him than anyone could have expected. Even his friends noticed how out of it he was, they have never seen him that distracted or even that sad; he barely ate or slept a good eight hours, he didn’t keep track of the days and all he could do was hope that the next day the situation could be different. It was almost as if the two of you broke up when in reality it was much more complicated than that.

Outside of the relationship you seemed normal. You would hang out with your friends and talk to them daily; you would read your books and listen to your music. But you didn’t share it with him anymore. You stopped asking questions; stopped sharing what you were listening to with him; stopped talking about this new book, show, or movie, or even the latest gossip you heard. You act as if he were a stranger and he can’t handle it, he didn’t know how to handle it.

Today was different, though.

It started to rain before he even got home. Having spent the day at the studio after some days off, he and the guys were much more active and energized to create. Still, all he wanted to do since he left home was come back to it, try and convince you to spend the day with him, and forget about whatever other activity you had planned to avoid him.

But when he finally opened the front door, only Duke’s little paws came to greet him. He got used to the silence, but that didn’t mean he liked it. In fact, he hated how loud it sounded when you were the one creating it. But this silence felt weird, different than the others. Because even though you wouldn’t speak to him, at least he knew you were somewhere in the house. You were still there.

Calum tried to shrug that feeling off, telling himself that you might just be out getting some groceries, thinking that you’ll come back and he would tell you to get ready so you could go out for dinner and maybe even a movie if you were up for it. He was trying to make it right between the two of you again, whatever and however long it took.

He walked over to the kitchen to make himself some tea, and that’s when he saw it: up on the counter, a small piece of paper with your handwriting on it:

“I’m staying at Sierra’s”

That’s it? You were gone just like that? No other explanation?

The ground seemed to sink under his feet as a dreadful feeling filled his chest, closing it and making it hurt with every breath he took. The memory of your actions this past week flooded his mind in a rush, cursing at every sign he willingly turned his eyes from.

You were leaving him.

*

The world happened around you, and you watched as if it were a movie; not really participating or engaging, but taking note as everything moved in slow motion. That’s how it felt sitting on the couch, a glass of wine in your hands as your friends laugh along with one of the many stories shared on girls’ night.

It wasn’t their fault you were so out of touch, lately, your mind was just elsewhere most of the time. Or rather, your mind was with someone most of the time, even if that someone didn’t want you there.

“Hey, are you okay?” Sierra asked, sitting next to you and pulling you out of your head.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah” You smiled, fooling no one.

“Have you talked to him?”

A sigh escaped your lips as you shook your head, it was more complicated than that.

It’s not like you didn’t want to talk to him, you just didn’t know how. After that night you started to second guess every word before it came out of your mouth, wondering what would be too much or if it’s really worth saying it out loud if he didn’t want to hear it in the first place. You didn’t want to give him another reason to yell.

And it’s not like he’s been trying either. Every question that came out of him, every suggestion, and every touch seemed forced. You could tell he was awkward even though he apologized, but it seemed those words weren’t true and you were still somehow bothering him.

Calum was never a man of many words, but he wasn’t one to yell either. That day something seemed to snap in him and it was impossible to see him or yourself in a different light. It wasn’t fair to either of you.

“Am I pushing it?” You asked, “If I feel he doesn’t want me there anymore, is me staying making it worse?”

“Oh, baby” Sierra cooed “Of course Calum wants you there, he loves you!”

And you love Calum, with all of your heart, you love him. But you also love yourself.

“Then why do I feel like he’d be better if I just disappear?”

But just as she was about to answer, the doorbell started ringing like crazy. All of your friends kept quiet, looking around as if to make sure all of you were there and no one was missing.

Sierra got up to try and see who it was, but Luke beat her to it, having appeared from the kitchen and practically running toward the door where he started to have a conversation with whoever was standing on the other side.

You carefully turned to your friend, asking her silently if she knew what was going on, but her face read the same as you as the muffled words became louder.

“Just let me see her!”

Instantly, your body froze at the sound of that too familiar voice as he stepped into the room. Your eyes widened at the sight of Calum, completely drenched from head to toe, eyes watery and hurt as he held on to a little piece of paper in his hand.

“Y/N!” He breathed once he saw you in the midst of your friend group, voice as desperate as his eyes, almost breaking down “Can- can we talk? Please,”

Luke stood behind him, shooting you an apologetic look, and out of the corner of your eye you could see how your friends were starting to move to another room, giving you all the space and privacy you needed

It must’ve been a couple of minutes between his arrival and until the two of you were completely alone. But for Calum, it felt like an eternity as he searched for your eyes and found nothing but shock in them.

Once the room was cleared out, you asked:

“What are you doing here?”

“I- I came to talk,” Calum answered, sheepishly.

“Why are you wet?”

He looked down and for the first time noticed his drenched clothes and the small puddle he was making on the carpet as the droplets of water kept falling from his hair.

“I ran. I thought it would be faster than-”

“Why?”

Your voice had no hint of malice nor annoyance. It was curious, surprised even that he ran all the way here even though it was less than a ten-minute drive. Calum noticed it, too, seeing in your eyes the question he could only answer with the words he feared the most but he knew he couldn’t avoid, at least, not anymore.

He looked at the paper in his hand, most of the writing already gone as it crumbled due to the rain. His heart was beating loudly, but he needed to know.

“Are you leaving me?”

And maybe it was the breaking in his voice, or how small it sounded when he said it out loud. Maybe it was the way he would look at his feet, scared to meet your eyes and find the answer he dreaded the most. But something in that phrase told you almost everything he didn’t say this past week.

“What?” You couldn’t help but ask, matching his soft voice as you failed to hide your own sadness.

“You- you said you were staying at Sierra’s” He explained, “I thought… I thought that was your way of telling me we were over”

A sigh escaped your lips as you looked down “I thought you’d think higher of me than just leaving a simple note”

Calum raised his head, shoulders falling in defeat “And what was I supposed to think, Y/N?” The tiredness in his voice became apparent, almost as if he was giving up “You’re ignoring me ever since-”

“I’m not ignoring you,”

“Bullshit!” He almost laughed, he could laugh. This whole situation was getting off the rails “You barely talk to me, you won’t let me touch you. Y/N it’s been weeks since we had sex or did anything together! When was the last time you let me hold your hand? I can’t even remember the last conversation we had cause all you do is avoid me! Fuck, you can’t even look me in the eyes right now”

You wrapped your arms around yourself, holding yourself tight as you looked back at him and you almost wished you didn’t.

Calum’s eyes were open wide, watery with unshed tears as he struggled to find the right words. The words that would make you listen, maybe even talk to him. But you were so far away that he’s scared he might get lost in translation.

“I understand that I fucked up,” He said, taking a step closer to you but still keeping his distance “I understand that I hurt you and I swear there’s nothing I regret more than what I said that night, it haunts me every day and I know I can’t take them back but please, stop pretending”

You blinked at him “Pretend what?”

“That you’ve forgiven me”

“Calum,” You sighed “I-”

“I know you said you did, but you haven’t. Not really” He saw the way your eyes filled with tears almost instantly, not a word to correct him “And I understand why I’m not saying this to blame you for anything. I just… I just want you to talk to me.

Y/N, this past week has been nothing but torture” Calum admitted “I didn’t realize how much I needed you. When I’m home it doesn’t feel like it, not when you’re not there to greet me or to ask me about my day or just being there… I miss your voice and I miss your jokes, your makeshift songs, and your laugh. I miss when you’d kiss me out of nowhere or when you play with my hair after a long day of work, even when I’ve been nothing but an asshole to you. I didn’t deserve any of that, I didn’t deserve for you to care but, fuck, Y/N what can I do for you to forgive me?

If you want me to beg, I’ll do it. I’ll crawl on my knees and cry if that’s what you ask. I can’t function without you, I can’t breathe or be normal again if I don’t have you in my life and I’m so fucking sorry I took that for granted. Truth is, I need you. If I’m being honest I realized that I need you more than you need me and that’s so fucking scary, I…”

Calum pressed his lips together, looking away as he tried not to cry even though your eyes were already letting the tears fall silently.

“I got so scared when I found that note today,” He said with a breaking voice “Because I knew why you would leave, I understood and- And I hated myself for it. I hated myself because I knew I did nothing to try and make it right, to try and make you stay. I thought I lost the love of my life-”

“You didn’t,” You were quick to answer the moment it seemed like he was about to cry “Not yet, no” You sniffled, trying to compose yourself enough to know what to say “I thought you didn’t want me anymore…”

Calum snapped his head “What? Baby,” He took a step closer “Baby, no. I would never-”

“But you said it!” You cried, “That night, you said I was always bothering you and you wanted me to leave. And I thought that if I stayed out of your business that you’d want me again, that you could still want me. I thought that was what you wanted”

“Fuck, Y/N, no!” Calum shook his head, taking another step closer so that you would be face to face, raising a hand to cup your cheek so he could look into your teary eyes “I love you,”

“Then why didn’t I feel it?” You whispered “Why- Where was this love when you yelled at me? I was so humiliated, Cal” His face fell with shame “And I was so mad, not just because you yelled, but because it seemed so easy for you to do it that I believed every word. They’ve echoed through my mind since that day and even when you said they weren’t true, I couldn’t believe that. Not anymore.

And then you stopped trying to talk to me as well, and I thought-”

Your words got caught up in your mouth the moment Calum leaned over and kissed you, holding your cheeks with his hands as you melted against his body, kissing him back with all of your might.

The saltiness of your tears mixed with the sweetness of his lips, a tempting taste that only got you craving for more since you were deprived of his kiss for a long time. A million thoughts ran through your head, a million words unsaid, but only one feeling that ruled over them.

He was the one to pull away first, chasing your lips and pecking them with small kisses that soon spread all over your face, kissing over your tears and nose; holding you closer as if he were afraid to ever let you go.

“I love you,” He said between tears and kisses “I love you, I love you” He put his hand on the back of your neck, pressing his forehead against yours before hugging you tightly and hiding his face on the crook of your neck as he repeated an unrehearsed speech that came straight from his heart “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, my love, Y/N. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean- I never meant that to be the truth, I swear it wasn’t, not even then and not ever. You didn’t deserve to hear all of that, to even think that I didn’t want you around. I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it, I swear!”

You held on to him, tears streaming down your face as you tried to make sense of his words, not caring that you were now drenched with the rain as well. Once again, mind, pride and heart fight relentlessly to find their meaning. But you didn’t care, at least not for today.

“Calum…”

“Please, come back home” He begged, voice muffled against your skin “I can’t do this without you. I need you, Y/N. I need you and I’m sorry. I should’ve realized, I should’ve noticed! I didn’t mean it, baby. Please,”

“Shh, it’s okay” You whispered, closing your eyes and holding him even tighter as your hand ran up and down his back “It’s okay, Cal. We can get through this, it’s okay. I love you, too”

That night Luke offered to drive you guys back home. You stayed up until the early hours of the morning, just talking, discussing, and forgiving. Not a lie was told and no feelings were held. Promises were made and time will tell if they’d keep that way.

But when you finally went to bed, his arm around your waist and holding you as close as he could, you knew you’d be okay.

*

*

tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @villainorigincal @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @wiiildflowerrr @hoplessromantic727 @fivesecondsofonedirection @another-lonely-heart @aabc5sauce @dudethisiswhyyoudonthavefriends @fakebetch9694 @5sos-imagine @SunflowerAngel2123 @perfectnouis @in-superbloom @lukeisstillapenguin @sadcupofcoffee @superstarmarvel @personalmuyverypersonal @cnco.angels @vtte @as-hs-blog @himbohood @sofiaaraee @irwindoll @lolzkye @weasleytwinscumslut @fairytrice @colourfulcal @nibin0912 @hfkait @ashtonsunflower @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-ashl @alltimesos @wontlastimokwiththat t @ttinahood @lukespitinmymouth @perfectnouis @cncoangelss @darrensos @whywontyoulovemecami @itwouldburnupintheatmosphere @theimpossiblehologramtree @perriexed @yeah-and69 @fckingpernico @multistann @averageantichrist @a-darneddarling @tpwkcth @f-mu @kindahumanbutalsoinsane @plaidshirtyears @ihavenoideawhattodowithyou @bittersweetb4by @aria-grace-scott @thestarsandtheircoffee @bvbygxrl @luisa180206 @xxxlaura @iamdayanaz @flyingburrito123

[stope07]

Pain (Void Stiles/Issac’s Sister reader)

Aurther-eratothemuse

Cash App- https://cash.app/$Luvtoldu

Pairing- Void Stiles / Reader

Warning- You find out and read it 

You had always been good at hiding your pain. You hid it from your father, who would abuse you, and you hid it from your brother, who went through it with you.

The only difference between you and Isaac was the fact that he wasn’t left with the immense self-loathing that weighed on your shoulders after your father was killed by the kanima.

You’d hated yourself ever since you could remember. Your body curved in all the wrong places, your grades were always lacking in school, and it didn’t help any when your father solidified any insecurity you ever had about yourself. When he died, you had hated yourself for being happy he was gone.

Isaac had been the only one keeping you going. You’d been in the thick of it together, and he would take the brunt of the abuse to keep you from getting it. He was your big brother, after all.

You hated yourself for getting him into trouble.

When he became a werewolf, he had more to worry about than just you. With the threat of your father no longer there, you found yourself spending more and more time alone. It never felt right to tag along after Isaac and the rest of the pack.

You’d just get in the way.

The scars on your thighs increased the longer you were alone with yourself. Alone with your thoughts. Alone with the hatred. The more problems that arose in Beacon Hills, the worse it got.

You hit your lowest point around the time Stiles got possessed by the Nogitsune.

Looking back now, you’d say it was the unintentional turning point in your life.

That was the day you’d decided to end it. The day you were finally going to let Isaac go. Let him be happy and not have to worry about you ever again. He had Allison now. He had the pack. He had a family. He didn’t need an awkward, dysfunctional sister to ruin that for him.

You were going to make his life easier.

You’d decided to do it in the bathtub. You honestly hadn’t wanted to do it in the McCall’s house at all. You didn’t want to make a mess. You couldn’t do it in the woods, though, because then they’d waste time searching for you.

So the bathtub it was.

When you’d lowered yourself into the tub and rolled up your sleeves, razor at the ready, you heard it. A small chuckle coming from the shadows of the adjoining bedroom. You froze, peering into the darkness to meet a dark pair of familiar eyes.

“Don’t stop on my account, my dear,” he called, leaning on the wall in an almost nonchalant manner.

You flushed in shame, attempting to hide the razor behind the barrier the tub provided before answering, “Stiles? What are you doing here?”

“I could smell your misery since the moment I took control of this boy,” Stiles pushed himself off the wall and made his way to the door adjoining the two rooms. “Your pain,” he spat as he came to stand in the threshold, “Your hatred.”

“S-Stiles?” you whispered, but you knew the thing standing before you was no longer your friend.

“You’re the perfect picture of chaos,” a smirk crossed Stiles’ lips before he quickly advanced on you. Your scream died in your throat as he gripped your neck, pulling you up from the tub. You dropped the razor in place of grabbing the hand that had soon pressed you against cold tile, making it difficult to breathe.

“Those idiots couldn’t sense it. They couldn’t see how broken you are behind those half-hearted smiles you give them. How much you just want to disappear. Well,” he steps into the tub, pressing the length of Stiles’ body against yours, “I noticed.”

You shiver as he nestles his nose into your neck, inhaling deeply, “I can smell it on you.” You feel tears brimming at your eyes and let go of the hand at your neck. This wasn’t the way you’d planned on going, but if he wanted to do the job for you, you weren’t going to stop him.

“Do it,” you feel him pull back and meet his sickly eyes with your own, “If you’re going to kill me, just get it over with.”

The Nogitsune laughs; a full, hearty laugh that reminds you of how Stiles would laugh whenever he was genuinely happy, “Kill you? You think I’m here to kill you?”

Your brow furrows, “Aren’t you?”

“Why would I kill the perfect source of pain?” his hand loosens from around your neck, moving to cup your jaw. “Now, take all of that pain,” his lips are just a breath away, “and give it to me.”

You gasp as his mouth connects with yours, and you go lightheaded as it feels like he’s draining the life out of you. You brace yourself on his shoulders and feel him press his full body against you to keep you propped between him and the wall. His knee goes between your legs, locking you both there.

You hear a breathy groan pass between his lips, muffling against your own. His lips crash against yours in what seems like a desperate effort to get more. More of you. More of your pain. Whatever he was taking from you, you found yourself giving it freely as the kiss went on.

He wrenches himself away from you, panting as he wipes his mouth. He keeps one hand entangled in your hair as you look at him in a daze. Your heart is beating ferociously and you’re gasping for air nearly twice as hard as he is. Before you can even think a coherent sentence, he seems to have regained enough composure to grip the back of your head by your hair and roughly pull you to focus on him.

“More,” passes through his kiss-swollen lips as he attacks your neck. You feel that same lightheadedness as he latches onto your pulse, his free hand sliding up the hem of your shirt. As he takes more from you, you find it to be an almost ecstatic feeling. You’re unable to stop the moan that rips from your throat as he bites down, taking blood with the pain.

You feel your hands move on their own accord. They go to his messy hair, gripping him in an effort to just grab onto something. You felt so lost in this moment, as if the only thing keeping you sane were his lips on your body.

“More,” the word comes from your own parted lips this time. What are you asking for? For him to take more of the pain? For him to take more of you? You honestly didn’t know. All you knew was that this was the most alive you’ve felt in years, and you wanted to keep feeling this way.

If this demon was going to give that to you, you’d let him take whatever he wanted.

The Nogitsune seemed to know what you were asking for as his lips disconnected from your neck with a smack and he ripped your shirt off your body in one fluid movement. His hands traveled behind your back, your bra soon following your shirt. Every touch he made seemed to linger, and it wasn’t until he was between your knees, gripping your scarred thighs, that you noticed the black veins that appeared whenever he touched you.

You were still gripping his hair for dear life as he smirked up at you, sliding a hand up your skirt before ripping your panties down to your ankles, “Even now, you’re still in chaos. You’re torn between wanting to feel again, and knowing that you’re supposed to hate me.”

You were about to retaliate when he dragged his index finger along your sex, “After all,” his smirk never faltered as he pushed the skirt up higher, “I am the enemy.” You nearly scream as his tongue darts out over your clit, working its way over your core. You can feel the fox’s grin as he works you over relentlessly, gasps and moans involuntarily ripping from your throat. You know your grip in his hair must be almost painful at this point, but it doesn’t slow him down one bit.

You don’t know whose name to scream out when you go over the edge, panting and writhing against the wall of the bath.

The aftermath of your orgasm is pushed forward by his tongue as he greedily takes all you can give. He detangles your fingers from his brown hair; that damned smirk is the first thing that comes into your vision as he stands upright again.

He leaves you there, in a daze and shivering against the cold tile at your back as he steps out of the tub. He looks back only once as he reaches the door, a Cheshire grin playing at the lips which were only moments before at your most intimate of places.

“Don’t do anything we’ll both regret, my dear. That was the best meal I’ve had in the last five hundred years.”

[eplioyak]

Blueberry Bagels

Hi! This is my first fic I’ve written and I just let my mind write what it wanted, I’m thinking that’s a bagel. There will probably be a few parts to this if anyone enjoys it. If anybody could give me feedback on what I could do to make it better it would be much appreciated, thank you!

Wanda Maximoff x fem reader

No warnings unless you have a fear of bagels. If you do pls don’t read this.

Word count: 1.6k I believe

Description: Blueberry bagels have been your go to every morning. But after running out you decide to head to a cafe where you meet unique girl.

Bagels are always the answer. Every morning I start my day with a bagel. Blueberries are the best, but chocolate-chip and cinnamon (from a certain cafe) are close runner-ups. A bagel doesn’t seem significant in any usual way, because it really isn’t. One bagel in the morning isn’t enough to get a good grade. Or give me any advantage at talking to people. It doesn’t even stop my stomach from growling two hours before lunch. Yet I still believe bagels might be the best breakfast food to currently exist.

Bagels aren’t the main point of this story. Just a little ice breaker actually. It’s not like I met someone because of them, or gained their affection, or lost it through bagels either. That would absolutely never happen. It’s really impossible when you think about it. A piece of flavored bread with a hole in it, with a topping consisting of literal cheese that’s creamed. It’s the most ordinary thing I have ever heard of, quite the opposite of the last few weeks I had.

Waking up two weeks ago had been the same as every other day for the last year. Waking up, getting out of bed half an hour after, drinking a coffee 12 ounce coffee with 3 spoons of creamer and one and a half of fake sugar (it melts better), and finally…my blueberry toasted bagel with barely any toasted brown on it, covered with just the right amount of cream cheese. Most of my routine had gone by without failure, until I came to my bagel. I searched through my refrigerator for one but they were gone. Seeing the cream cheese abruptly reminded me of my late night trip to the fridge where I had suddenly been in the mood for one barely browned blueberry bagel. Whispering things that someone with a bagel never would, I decided to try something new. I was going to go to a cafe.

Cafe’s had never been of interest to me, besides Starbucks for some coffee, but even that is more coffee than bagels. Waiting for a taxi to show up had given me time to google some decent cafe’s. I had found one by the name of Maximoff’s which highlighted the one thing I actually wanted, bagels. Absorbed in my thoughts over breakfast and my rumbling stomach I had been neglectful of the taxi pulling up, not even noticing it was there until the honk of the car knocked the thoughts right out of me.

I always hated the taxi, the drivers consistently wanted to make small talk, probably the only thing keeping them sane in the all day traffic of the outskirts of New York City. Granted, I don’t dislike the drivers as a whole, I just am terrible at making conversation. I usually try to evade it if possible, but sometimes I just gotta deal with it. Just another consequence of not driving in busy cities apparently. This one was cool though. He just wanted to know the address and my favorite genre of music, then changed the radio station to fit, in my opinion, the overall best genre of music.

The design of this cafe was impressive. The outside had windows, but not so many that you would feel exposed to every person passing the street, a blue neon sign reading “Maximoff’s” that made me think of those old jazz clubs, and a brick wooden building. The cafe itself wasn’t large, just cozy enough to avoid large amounts of people while still generating a decent amount of customers. The inside of the shop itself was nothing extravagant, yet somehow felt magical in the sense of comfort. The soft chairs, small loveseats, and beanbags gave it a cozy feeling while the dark maroon walls provided a chill atmosphere rarely seen in the bustling NYC. The wall decor mostly consisted of lights hanging from the ceilings, vinyls from great albums, and paintings, one looking mystical with it's unending rows of white flowered trees in a beautiful field.

There was one person ahead of me, a blessing and a curse. The noise coming from my stomach had gradually become more noticeable throughout the drive here so I was thankful for finally being able to get some food without standing in line for another 20 minutes. The only dilemma had been the fact I had no time to actually look over the menu. What even is an everything bagel? I really need to start expanding my bagel options. The person in front of me had left the line, thus leaving me with no idea or time to decide what to order, brilliant.

Once I moved up to the register I finally ran into the barista. She was about five foot six, putting me at a slight height advantage. Her hair was a light brown color but seemed like it had a hint of auburn if you looked close enough. Not that I was looking closely. Just close enough to see basic parts of her face that any normal person could see from this distance without looking too hard. Key words, basic parts. Like how her eyes were jade green with what looked like a speck of red in them.

Her voice had brought me back to the present, where I'm supposed to be ordering my bagel. I looked towards the menu but the options were really small and I had forgone my glasses this morning. Deciding to go with my safest bet, I ask for a blueberry bagel with regular cream cheese, like I always eat. Never had any problems with it, delightful little breakfast. Her expression when I looked back towards her startled me. Her expression before had been a friendly one, this was one of confusion.

"You want a what?" She asked me in a tone that mirrored the look on her face.

"A blueberry bagel...with cream cheese, please."

"You realize you could get a blueberry bagel at the store right?" she playfully laughed, "why don't you try something a little more gourmet on this fine morning? Sorry to disappoint though, you chose one of the only kinds I don't have here."

Of course I picked the one she didn't have. Wait. Gourmet? The most gourmet bagel I've had was one that came with the little seeds you find on hamburger buns. I didn't even like that one! After hearing her clear her voice I decided to finally respond.

"I was looking for a gourmet blueberry bagel, blueberries imported from somewhere beautiful. It makes all the difference." I tell her, jokingly might I add, as I look for a response with her facial features. After a moment of purely awkward silence she finally realizes I'm kidding. I hope.

"Well although we don't sell those here, we do sell some pretty good stuff."

"I'm sorry, but I have only had two kinds of bagels in my life before, chocolate chip, and blueberry. I tried looking at the menu but I don't even know where to start."

"If that's the case then I can help. My personal favorite is the cinnamon crunch, with this cream cheese I like to call, 'honey walnut'."

"Okay… that will work, time to expand my horizons anyway."

"Amazing! I'll get that ready if you'll just swipe your card right…here, thank you!"

What was I supposed to do now? Stand here until she gets back? I think that's the right option until she gets back and tells me I can head over to any seat I want. For not having blueberry bagels around this was still a nice cafe. It surprised me since most of the places I've gone are packed with people and not as cozy as here. After 7 minutes or so she heads over to wear I'm sitting on a beanbag. She politely hands me my bagel and after a moment she tells me she's off the clock. Normally I'd give some short reply in hopes of whoever said that leaving, but something inside tells me to take a different approach. I invited her to sit with me which she surprisingly accepted. She introduced herself as Wanda, and we made small talk for a while. After adding on the cream cheese I noticed her watching me.

"Do you want some?" I asked, ready to cut off a bit.

"What? Oh sorry, no thank you. I wanted to see your reaction to such a delicious bagel."

"I hope you know I'm going to be very upset if this is not as good as you make it seem. You keep raising the bar." I lightly tease her, but truthfully I still will be kind of disappointed.

"Oh trust me the bar isn't even high enough yet. Please just try it!" She says, obviously impatient, even more so than I am usually.

"Fine" I give in and try it. Somehow it's better than blueberry. There's a taste I couldn't even start to describe.

"YES! You love it don't you!" She says with a smug look and a wide smile on her face.

"Okay I admit it…it's really good. Better than blueberry even."

"Amazing news. Now you'll never be able to go back to regular blueberries. Which means you'll need a new alternative, I bet. In light of this new evidence I will see you around soon I hope." Getting up and starting to leave before letting me get a word in. Yet she manages to find time to send me a wink before going back to the register.

This is ridiculous. She gives me the best bagel of my life, watches me eat it, then heads back to the cash register after acknowledging I will have to come back for said bagel. And it wouldn't hurt to talk to her again. I guess I'm not going to the store for bagels anytime soon. When a beautiful lady offers you bagels, you never pass it up.

[lonely-lost-soul]

Where Loyalties Lie

(Technoblade X reader) 

Request 3: Can we get a little angsty fic or headcanon of Techno trying to get the reader to leave L’manberg?

Requested By: Anonymous

~~~

     “Tubbo please take a deep breath,” You followed him around the rubble as he paced restlessly. 

     “I’m president of a crater (Y/n)!” The boy pulled on his ears with a loud whine, “What am I gonna do. I can’t believe Wilbur blew it up-” He felt your hands touch his own and gently pull them away from his oversensitive goat ears. “What am I gonna do? I-I’m a kid…” You frowned, moving to cup his cheek with your hand. He nuzzled into it desperately, welcoming the comforting touch of someone who he considered family. 

     “You’re going to get through it because you’re strong.” You told him, “and so brave little ram.” He flushed pink letting out a whine of protest especially because he was still surrounded by most of his friends. 

You watch as Quackity walked over to the both of you and placed his hand on Tubbo’s shoulder squeezing it, “We’ll rebuild. We’ll be right behind you Tubbo.” He smiled at the kid and you couldn’t help but smile over at him. 

     “Thank you both. Truly.” 

There was one thing that had you were worried you may come to regret, and that was not taking Technoblade’s hand as he fled from the country. You were close almost touching it, he looked like he wanted to beg for you too but one desperate cry from Tubbo had you pulling away. He looked heartbroken but at the same time, you saw understanding in his deep red eyes. 

Family came first. 

That day he pulled you close pressing a soft kiss on your forehead, “I’ll be back for you.” 

You murmured a soft I’m sorry, turning to find Tubbo to make sure he wasn’t injured or dying. The thoughts of the festival replaying in your head, you couldn’t go through that...not again especially because now Tubbo was officially on his last life. Tommy couldn’t fathom how you didn’t blame Technoblade for what happened that day, but to you, two things were clear: one was that Tubbo didn’t blame him which made it easier on your end to forgive him; two Schlatt was manipulative and overwhelming as fuck you can’t blame someone for something they were peer pressured into doing. Speaking of Tommy you ended up finding Tubbo and him in the rubble that day, the taller male was pressing cloth to Tubbo’s bleeding arm desperately, when you took over and Tommy seemed grateful. 

However, you had to push your possible regrets aside and focus on the new nation you’d help build, and build it you did. You worked endlessly for months on end creating a lovely new nation for people to live in, Tubbo had dubbed it New L’manburg. You felt his pride and happiness, he just loved seeing everyone together again and happy once again. Finally, the server felt somewhat normal after all that destruction, even if there was a Techno-shaped hole in your heart. Things changed rather quickly when Tubbo was, in your eyes, manipulated to exile Tommy by Dream. You had tried to argue for the boy saying that not only was he Tubbo’s friend but just a kid. You were shut down harshly by not only Dream but Tubbo as well, the look in his eyes was filled with so much loathing and frustration. It’s the first time he ever snapped and was harsh to you, you felt your own frustration bubble up in your chest. You turned on your heel and marched back up into your house, you were not going to put up with this behavior. When you slammed the door shut, and turned around to find Technoblade standing in your living room,  with your cat purring fondly on his shoulders; you almost screamed.

     “Heh- why are you scared it’s just me?” The hybrid complained his nose scrunching up, “Don’t be cringe- oof-” Techno grunted as you threw your arms around his waist, the man flushed to the tips of his ears and looked away from you, Taffy hopped off his shoulders disgruntledly, “Yeah, yeah, I missed you too.” He pet the top of your head tenderly and you looked up at him with a smile. 

     “What’re you doing here Tech? If Tubbo finds out he’ll have your head.” 

     “Then I guess we’ll just have to make sure he doesn’t find me then huh?” He mused lips, quirking into a smile, and you nodded in agreement. “Other than that just running some errands. I’m in retirement now you know. I have to say that ‘New L’Manburg’ is certainly a name.” He did air quotes around the name and you nudged him, 

     “Be nice.”

     “Boo Cringe. I’m a Blood God starlight. I don’t do nice.” 

     “Bullshit,” You punched him in the arm, “Tea?” 

     “Please.” He cracked a smile as you walked over to your tea kettle heating the water and grabbing some tea bags. 

     “So, you came here to run some errands huh? I almost thought you missed me?” Technoblade shuffled a little behind you, how could you read him so perfectly? It was complete and utter bullshit. You heard him click his tongue distastefully behind you and you couldn’t help but smirk cheekily,

     “Get off my back woman.” He stated gruffly as you laughed, “but I guess I do miss you a little bit.” You smiled fondly and softly cooed at him and he let out another scoff, 

     “A little bit?”

     “What is this interrogation? You a cop now?” You placed his tea in front of him and he took a sip,

     “Yeah, we’re gonna need to do a strip search. Drop your pants.” Technoblade choked on his drink, face turning the darkest shade of red you’ve ever seen from him. You howled with laughter sliding down in your seat beside the man. 

     “I changed my mind. I didn’t miss you at all, you’re a terror.”

     “You love me, admit it.”

     “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He murmured looking at you with a sudden softness that was out of character for him. You didn’t notice the change but it was there, oh if only you knew how much of what you said was true. He did love you. He ran his tongue across his teeth and reached out to interlock your hands within his own. 

     “Come live with me.” 

     “Tech…”

     “I’m in retirement now. I’m going to get some turtles hopefully, maybe some other pets while I’m at it. There’s a lot of room...It gets lonely all alone you know. It’d be nice to have you there with me.” He watched hesitance flicker across your face again just like the day Wilbur blew up L’Manburg. Your thoughts went to Tubbo and how much he needed you, especially now that Tommy was exiled. However, you were also brought back to a few moments ago where Tubbo snapped at you for trying to help. You took a ragged breath and pushed his hand away, he frowned sadly bringing his hand back down to his lap. 

     “I need to be here for Tubbo. He’s a kid Tech...way over his head. Dreams sniffing around him like a dog looking for his next victim to manipulate. I can’t let that happen, not to him. I know he’s President of this nation and you hate him for that, but he’s my brother and I love him. He’s a tough kid with a lot of fire, but I can’t just leave him in the dust. I love you,” You reached up and cupped his cheek and Technoblade felt his cheeks burn at the implication, “but I can’t leave until Tubbo is safe.” 

     “I’ll convince you one day.” Technoblade shot back even though his heart ached, that you wouldn’t be coming home with him. But Technoblade wasn’t known for giving up. He was stubborn as hell, he’d win you over yet. You’d come home with him, he’d confess to you and he’d make you the happiest person in the world. You just...didn’t know it yet. 

     “I’m excited for the day you do Tech.” You snickered softly, you both were startled by harsh knocking on the door.

     “That’s my cue. See you soon Starlight,” Technoblade hummed slipping right out the window, you watched him go longingly. You shuffled towards the door and opened it slowly, on the front steps stood Tubbo who was rocking nervously on his feet. 

     “Hi…” 

     “Hey LR...you okay?” Tilting your head to the side,

     “Is LR supposed to stand for little ram?”

     “Problem?”

     “No…I suppose not.” He murmured before clearing his throat and straightening his back, “I wanted to talk with you.” 

     “Oh?” You raised an eyebrow watching him nod his head sternly, you walked outside and closed the door behind you so you could lean on it. “Shoot,”

You watched as Tubbo swallowed thickly, “First off I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. It wasn’t fair of me to snap.” He watched you nod a little urging him to continue, “however, I am the President now and you have to respect my authority.” Eyebrows furrowing together in frustration you opened your mouth to counter him but he held up his hand, “Dream has an idea of how to rule. He can steer me in a better direction-”

     “Pardon me?” You let out a disbelieving laugh, “A better direction? Tubbo, are you forgetting everything we all fought for, we fought him for independence. He killed us!” 

     “He might’ve changed!”

     “He exiled Tommy!” 

     “He deserved it!” Tubbo shouted back as your nose scrunched up, “He’ll steer me in a direction that you never could!” He snapped before realizing what he said, he slapped his hands over his mouth eyes widening to the size of saucers. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that-” 

     “Go home Tubbo.” 

     “(Y/n) please,” He reached out towards you and you held up your hand, 

     “Go reset the day. You need rest,” You frowned, turning back into the house “see you tomorrow.” Inside the house you shut the door on him and slid down onto the floor, you brought your hands to your mouth and swallowed thickly. A part of you wished Technoblade was still here just so he could tell you to get over yourself, he wasn’t skilled in the art of comforting others, but he could make you laugh. To keep yourself sane you reminded yourself that Tubbo was a child and needed you now more than ever, especially if he thought Dream was dishing out good advice. But you were hurt and a selfish part of you wished you could just go live in retirement with Technoblade and not worry about the new country forming, but you couldn’t ditch Tubbo. 

Running a hand through your hair you sighed loudly, one might wonder what exactly could Tubbo do to make you listen to Technoblade’s offer. Honestly, you had no idea if anything would make you do that unless of course they just started executing people or something ridiculous like that. 

Restless was how you’d describe the rest of your night, you tried to sleep but after a few hours of tossing and turning you gave up. You decided to make yourself a ‘healthy’ midnight snack, a small bowl of mac & cheese, you didn’t care, you were sad. You sighed softly scratching behind your cat’s ears, “It’s just you and me against the world Taffy isn’t it?” Her purrs rang in the air as she snuggled against your hand, distracting you just enough to swipe a noddle from your bowl. “You fat bitch!” You hissed as she ran off back up the stairs, you leaned back in your chair and sighed, literally nothing was going your way today. Just as you finished up your snack you heard a soft ping upon your window, turning to the sound you noticed your neighbor Phil awake in his house. He held up a hand and waved at you through it, and with a small smile, you waved back. He shuffled back into his home, I guess you both were insomniacs together, Techno knew how to pick a certain type of friend it seemed. 

You walked back up to your bedroom and slid under the covers once more, maybe you were wrong and things were going to get better. 

Months went by and nothing seemed to change much to your disappointment. Tubbo and you were still a little rocky, you had forgiven him for his harsh words but he always put Dream’s and even Quackity’s opinion before your own. When you came back from visiting Niki one day and saw wanted posters of Technoblade all around the country you almost had a stroke. You confronted Tubbo about it and only half answered you before running off when Quackity called him. That worried you, he normally didn’t like lying, especially not to you. 

The same day you were walking into the market to get some fresh fruit when a hand shot out from the wanted poster and pulled you behind it. You were held flush against someone’s chest who chuckled gruffly, you recognized that chuckle anywhere. “Techno! What’re you doing here?” You asked looking up at him with eyes filled with concern, “don’t you know you’re a wanted man?”

     “I think that just makes this all the more exciting.” Techno mused running his fingers through your hair, “Plus it’s not like anyone here can catch me.” 

     “Wrong I could catch you.” He dared to laugh in your face, 

     “Sure you could, and I’m half sheep.” Technoblade mused and he watched you huff cutely, “Don’t get all huffy at me you know I’m right.” You only waved him off, “seriously though I’m here to do some trading with Phil.”

     “Oh…” You gave a nod, “Will I see you more frequently then?”

     “You could see me all the time if you moved in with me.” Techno joked again and was surprised to see your face fall a little. Are you serious? Was he getting you to crack? “Starlight?” 

     “Ask me again in a few months and I might say yes,” You teased brushing the question off swiftly, Technoblade didn’t pry but he could tell you were almost convinced. Just what was going on in this country to make you want to leave your little brother? “Now shoo, go see Phil before he gives up on you.” You gave him a little shove and he stumbled off with a huff sticking his tongue out at you in the process. 

After that encounter, you didn’t run into Technoblade for another very long stretch of time. About a month or so after that encounter, Tubbo had shown up at your doorstep a complete nervous wreck. He begged you to help him, claiming he needed diamonds for an upcoming project and wanted you to acquire them for him. “Tubbo I don’t understand why I need to go on this trip? I have diamonds I can just give you. You know I don’t care.” 

     “But I feel bad about it,” Tubbo argued with you “please just do this for me.”

     “You know I’ll do anything for you. If you want me to get them this way I’ll do it. I should be back tonight is that okay? Do you need them sooner?” Tubbo looked relieved as he took your hands in his own, 

     “No tonight is perfect!” The boy chirped sounding more like himself than he has in months, you couldn’t help but smile. You ruffled his hair a little before kissing his forehead, 

     “Then tonight you shall have them, Little Ram.” 

Tubbo helped you gather the materials you needed for a trip down into the mines, Tubbo even gave you some fire resistance potions. You thanked him for the potions before putting on your armor and heading down into the tunnels. As you were down in the mine the concept of time was always an illusion, so when you finally found diamonds for Tubbo and you left the cave you were surprised to see the sun was just setting. You hummed softly to yourself walking back into New L’manburg excited to show off to Tubbo you couldn’t help but wonder what he needed them for in the first place. However, when you entered town you were greeted by a gathering going on at the center. Everyone seemed to be there clad in what looked to be butcher’s outfits, your vibe was immediately thrown off eyebrows furrowing in concern. Quackity was giving some sort of speech and that finally drew your eyes towards the podium, locked inside a cage was a fuming Technoblade. You rushed towards the group, pushing past Ghostbur and a blue sheep, and grabbed tightly onto Tubbo’s arm. 

     “Tubbo what the fuck is happening?” He tensed turning towards your face. It was no secret that you and Techno were friends, this wasn’t good at all.

     “(Y/n)! You’re back early!” He spoke nervously rubbing his hands together as Quackity turned towards you, 

     “Welcome back!” Quackity hopped off the podium with a smirk, “Fundy grab them.” 

     “Quackity hey wait a minute-” Tubbo started as Fundy roughly grabbed onto your arms pinning you in place, 

     “Ow hey! Watch it! Let go of me!”

     “Get your hands off them!” Technoblade snarled nostrils flaring grabbing the bars of the cage tightly. 

     “Quackity you said we’d leave them out of this!” Tubbo argued and your jaw dropped staring at Tubbo, “You promised!” 

He waved Tubbo off with a scoff, “they’re just as bad as Phil, Tubbo. She needs to be punished. We can't play favorites when trying to run a country. We’ll execute Techno then deal with the other traitors.”

     “Execute?” You choked, “you can’t be serious! Tubbo you cannot be serious, since when are you okay with public executions?” He refused to look at you, his hair covering his eyes, he only nodded his head in Quackity’s direction. 

     “Do it.” 

     “Tubbo!” You shrieked watching Quackity grin maliciously, moving over to pull the lever that would allow the anvil to fall and crush the man below it. 

What happened next was a cluster fuck, someone began trying to set off TNT, and Quackity pulled the lever. It fell rapidly towards Techno and he pulled something out of his pocket, in a flash of bright colors and bursts of light Technoblade was ripped apart and pulled back together again. He was alive, Technoblade really doesn’t ever die. He hopped on top of the anvil and jumped the bars of the cage, Fundy had long since lost his grip on you, he noticed Dream ushering him inside a cavern and he paused a moment. The hybrid turned towards you holding out his hand one final time, the world seemed to stop a moment and it was just you and him. His face held a desperate look in it, almost pleading you to take his hand within your own. You flashed back to the day Wilbur blew the country up, Tubbo called your name you glanced over your shoulder once towards Little Ram. You reached into your bag and dropped the diamonds you found for him on the ground, you grabbed Technoblade’s hand and squeezed it tightly. Technoblade smiled and yanked you forward, leaving a heartbroken Tubbo in your wake.

[makeitp1nk]

PROCRASTINATE IN P1NK

Y’all I’m three weeks behind on hw so today I read a shitton of fic instead of catching up. I’ve been screaming about a couple of these throughout the day but I want to consolidated & attempt to form a coherent thought b/c I’ve been in all caps amazeface mode all day. Here it goes -- 

Unresting Death - Anon, Part of Blackcest Fest 

One of my favorite *themes* in *anything* is the inability to distinguish reality from fantasy. I *love* horror. I’m known to go to the theater to watch horror flicks by myself without issue, but throw me a Haunting @ Hill House Mind Fuck™️ and I won’t sleep for days. & psychologically fucked characters, ahem Hannibal, love them. The end of the this fic had me screaming. 

For Sale by Owner: Rose Weasley-Granger’s Virginity - @vukovich

This fic is part of FUCK HIS DAD fest. What’s funny is that it reminded me of that Bible verse -- “He is the stone which was rejected by you, the builders, but which became the chief corner stone.” Except it’s Rose and she fucked his dad. Watching her become the chief ass corner stone is glorious. Especially because she’s the thirstiest character you’ve ever read. The pining is also magnificent, as well as the characterizations of the extended family. Molly Weasley takes the cake, and the little ritual she shows Rose is just empowering as all hell. And don’t even get me started on the fabulous one-liners in this fic. Just go read it, kids.

The Best Kept Secrets - @danni-the-puff

I’ve screamed about this fic incoherently in three separate posts, so this is my attempt at being a sane person. I hate Hinny with a passion (no judgement if it’s your ship, it’s just not mine). Yet I read this Hinny because I figured it wasn’t endgame. Though the writing had me doubting it at times, the journey that the characters go through in the process to endgame Snarry is beautifully handled. There’s so much growth, and so many tough lessons learned that only *one* character gets to profit off of lol (well maybe two... ) Also, I don’t read cheating in fics, it hurts my little heart. But this fucking fic was incredible. The cheating wasn’t gratuitous, it was handled in a way where you condemn it but it’s not bitter/sour if that makes sense. It’s a sad face instead of a gut-punch, which is what infidelity usually feels like for me. Anywayyyyy the emotional complexity in this fic is next level. It has so much heart, and it’s hot as fuck. Looking back, my heart feels so good at having met these characters and how things turned out for them. You walk away having fallen in love with them all and happy with where they landed. Highly highly highly recommend.

Extra Credit - Other Things I Read This Week Because I Enjoy The Anxiety of Working On a Deadline, Apparently

After (I’ll Never Let You Go) - @famoustruth

I don’t usually read T or G fics 😉, but the premise pulled me in and I fell in love. The characterization is spot-on, it’s so well written you can *see* it and *feel* it. Overall, it’s sweet like candy and you’ll love it.

Keep Swinging Your Bat My Way - @veelawings

Dron Call Me Daddy Fest entry by Veelawings. Need I say more? I’ve been waiting for some sort of post to go around about this fic on Tumblr so I can scream about it but I haven’t seen it. So here I am, being the change I want to see in the world. This fic is fire. Ron is fire. It’s less than 1K of locker room sex perfection that is v much worth your time. 

Crawl Back Into Your Open Arms - @academicdisasterfic​

Grab the tissues, y’all. This fic resonated with me on a visceral level as someone who fell for “projects” back in the day. (I just cringed typing that sentence) So Part 5 was just gorgeous to me, I just *ached* for Draco. There’s this sentence where he says he’s a bad person when he’s in love, and I felt that deep in my bones. I knew Rooney would give me that happy ending but still bawled my eyes out when I got it. There’s so much heart in this fic, can’t recommend it enough.

Look at all the coherent sentences I wrote!!!!! If you read this far, high five!!!! I’m gonna go do my hw now 😘 maybe

[catxsnow]

HAPPINESS B.W.

Request: Will you do a Bruce Wayne x reader where the reader gets hurt because of his life and he just like super sorry and regretful? If you wanna change the bat boy that'll be okay.

Warning: mentions of blood and injury, fluff, angst 

A/N: hello good day one and all, my writing inspiration has plummeted even more but I hope everyone enjoys this. 

Word count: 1.9k 

Bruce never wanted you to be part of his life for this reason. He didn't want an innocent civilian to get caught up in his life as Batman. Someone who couldn't take care of themselves like he or his kids could. He didn't want you to be trapped in the crossfire of his battles and be the one to suffer the consequences.

You knew the risks of being with him. One night he may never make it home because of his fights. Or maybe that one of his sons or daughter would fall again, and this time never return. You knew that maybe, you would somehow be the one to get the bullet instead of someone that would have known how to dodge it.

Maybe if Bruce would have been faster, or if he ignored his pride and asked for help everything would have turned out fine. Maybe if he sacrificed himself, you would have ended up safe. Instead, you laid in a hospital bed. Cast around your arm, brace on your neck. Cuts and bruises laced your skin from the accident.

Except it wasn't an accident. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time and there was nothing that Bruce could have done to help, no matter how much he beat himself up over it. He was saving the lives of others - you would never shame him for that.

Being Batman was something you had to learn to deal with, but his need to save lives was something you could never chastise. You had your fights over it, the crying and screaming matches that seemed to go on for hours. Your pleads to get him to stop when things were going too far.

The times a young Jason Todd would come into your room with red eyes because he heard you and Bruce fights. An older Jason coming to you for comfort after hearing yet another argument with your husband. Tim crawling into your bed with you as Bruce headed out for a night on his own after yelling at you.

Dick, the child you never got a hand in raising, but being there for you because he knew Bruce's antics more than anyone. All his kids adored you, and they all knew what it was like to be on the other end of Bruce's stubborn Wrath.

Bruce was worth it. He was worth every tear, every kiss, every second. Every moment you spent with him, whether it be love or hate, you wouldn't change it for anything. Even if his love was the reason that you were in that bed.

"It's not your fault, Bruce," Dick stood behind the chair in which his adopted father sat. He came back to Gotham the moment that he heard about what happened. Damian had told him scene by scene what occurred - nothing of which Bruce could have stopped. Maybe not even if he was Superman.

Unfortunately, Dick knew all too well that Bruce would feel guilty for this. He was more protective of you than anyone else in this entire world. He would go to any length to keep you safe.

Bruce held your hand in his. The faint pulse was the only thing keeping him sane in that moment. His hair was tousled, likely from the stress he had been under these past few hours. It wasn't often Dick saw him like this. Then again, it wasn't often Bruce ever let anything happen to you.

"I knew a day like this would come and yet I still agreed to let them into my life," Bruce's voice was hoarse - nearly as much as it was when he was under the cowl. The only difference, was now he wasn't hiding behind a mask, he was forced to face the reality of what could happen to those he loved because of his life.

"Growing up, I never thought I'd see the day that you'd fall in love," Dick sat down in the chair across from Bruce. He refused to take his eyes off you, even with his son showing himself. "And then you met (Y/N). I remember them coming over to the mansion for the first time. I wasn't living there anymore but you wanted me to come to meet them.

"I've never seen you laugh, genuinely laugh, so much in one night. I could tell, from that night that they were different than the other woman you brought home. You cared about them from the start, Bruce. (Y/N) wasn't just some other person that you seduced to uphold your playboy act. They knew what they were getting into with you. You can't just force everyone away because you're scared of potential outcomes - that's part of life. Even for Batman."

"They wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me," Bruce tried to argue. Always the glutton for punishment, even when the hand didn't need to be delivered to him.

"And they might have ended up far worse if it hadn't been for you," Dick spoke, his voice steady. He too hated seeing you like this - but if Bruce wasn't going to be the stable one then he had to take that burden. "If there's one thing in this world that people like us struggle to get... it's happiness. You found yours in (Y/N). Don't lose that because of one accident."

><

"Father."

It had been days since you had been admitted into the hospital. Yesterday morning you woke up sore, but alive. Bruce was yet to leave your side. Stubble littered his face from going days without shaving. A look that you weren't able to truly appreciate from being asleep half the time.

By this time the next day, you would be allowed to leave, but that didn't make your husband any less worried about your well being. Bruce still blamed himself for what happened, even after you had told him it wasn't his fault in the slightest. You could see the guilt on his face, just as he wore every time something went wrong with you involved.

"I brought you food," Damian held a bag of take-out in his hand. If he knew his father well enough, he'd know that he hadn't eaten anything all day. It was confirmed when he heard the loud growl of Bruce's stomach the moment that he got a whiff of the food in the room. "Eat."

"I'm not hungry," Bruce waved off his son. It was clear he was in need of something to eat, though he was too stubborn to take care of himself while you were in need. Even if it was just watching over you while you slept. Damian shoved the bag directly in front of his face until he reluctantly accepted.

"You need a shower," Damian's nose curled up. He stood looking down at his father. As worried as he had been, he also was acting immaturely. Refusing to take care of himself, constantly under surveillance while you were in good hands as it was. "(Y/N) will be perfectly safe with me. Go home. Get some sleep. We'll be here in the morning and ready to go home."

"I'm fine."

"You're not." Damian eyes the food until Bruce took a bite. It wasn't often that he was worried about his father, but it had been days since he had properly looked out for himself. It was clear how far his love for you went after seeing him like this. Or more so, his guilt for letting this happen. "Do you not trust me to take care of them?"

Bruce's jaw tightened. Truth was, he didn't trust anyone with you. Not even himself. Not even Clark. Damian took his silence as an answer. Of course not. Bruce couldn't trust him for a night out alone on patrol, how was he supposed to trust him with his partner?

"It's my fault they're here, Damian," Bruce sighed. "I've never been so scared before."

This was the first time that Damian had ever seen his father so truly vulnerable. Never in his life did Bruce admit that he was scared, yet here he was completely unscathed and terrified. Dick was right, he found complete and utter happiness in you, and the thought of losing you hurt more than anything else.

He wasn't just scared. He was horrified. Nothing in this world put more fear into him than seeing you suffer, or worse.

"It's not your fault, Father," Damian assured, just as his older brother had. "You always taught me to be brave, to face what scared me most. There's nothing wrong with feeling scared sometimes. It reminds us that we're human, that we're allowed to feel things. (Y/N) loves you, this won't change anything."

><

"Bruce would you stop hovering over me, I'm fine!"

You thought getting back to the manor would mean Bruce would finally be off your back about your injuries. It couldn't be more of the opposite. He was constantly trailing behind you, ready to give you aid whenever you needed it. Honestly, you weren't even that sore.

The brace on your neck was gone before you even left the hospital. Your dark bruises were lighter in color and the cuts that required stitches were healing just fine. The only noticeable injury was the cast on your arm, and you could still function just fine without it. Bruce was just being his overly-protective self.

"If I would have known that all I needed to do to get this much attention from you was to get myself hurt, I would have done it a long time ago," You tried to joke. He remained stoic about your comment, your health was no joking matter. You placed your palm on his cheek, the warmth of his skin being soaked up by your own.

"Seriously, hun, I feel perfectly fine. I'm just thankful for you being there." He didn't look convinced. There was nothing worse than failing you, and he had done exactly that.

"Except I wasn't there," he muttered. Bruce tilted his head in shame. He wasn't there to save you fast enough, he should have been. "I'm sorry, (Y/N). I'm so sorry that my life put yours at risk."

"Bruce, my love," your fingers caught under his chin. He reluctantly met your eyes. Shame filled his entire body, he was supposed to be able to save the world, and yet he couldn't save the one closest to him. "I will never blame you for anything like this. I need you to know that. No matter what happens to me, It will never be your fault."

"I love you," Bruce's lip trembled. You were quick to bring him into a kiss. After everything that he's done, the last thing that he deserved was guilt. "I can't live without you. You're my happiness, my everything. I was, I was so scared. I can't live without you, (Y/N)."

"And you'll never have to."

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