#Hidden Struggles

[wickedzeevyln]

An Afterthought

Sixteen days into the new year… Somehow, I see us as gophers popping our heads out of a hole and Life is always trying to conk us on the head with a giant, rubber mallet. We don’t get far without a throbbing bump. Yes, Life is unfair, but it’s unfair to everyone. Some, behind the glittery glitz and pompous pearly smiles, are mum while mucky monsters are gobbling them, but their image tickle our…

[alvirasuha]

The Call of the Void

I reside on the second floor of a residential area. Nearly every other night, my family and I bear witness to the jarring sound of something moderately heavy crashing to its doom on the sunset surrounding our windows and balcony. We cannot ascertain the weight of the objects, nor their nature since this seems to happen near, if not much later than, midnight. The exact weight and nature of these objects elude us, as these incidents occur near or well past midnight. Like many urban residents, I have formed my own theories. Here’s what I have deduced: 1) The object that is doomed to its death plummets from at least 6 stories above. 2) The object is being thrown from a window.

𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦: 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯

I reside on the second floor of a residential area. Nearly every other night, my family and I bear witness to the jarring sound of something moderately heavy crashing to its doom on the sunset surrounding our windows and balcony. The exact weight and nature of these objects elude us, as these incidents occur near or well past midnight. Like many urban residents, I have formed my own theories. Here’s what I have deduced:

1) The object that is doomed to its death plummets from at least 6 stories above. 2) The object is being thrown from a window.

3) The object is being thrown by a woman.

I cannot fathom why the person throwing the object should not be a woman since such covert coping mechanisms come to either children or women; both of whom can be rendered helpless in a domicile. I firmly believe it is the inability to throw herself off that floor is what prompts her to throw inanimate objects to their deaths.

Despite all my assumptions, I am yet to muster the strength I would need to actually probe the situation.

This probably tells you more about me than the person throwing things from up above.

Correct?

[qoldenskies]

i think its so funny when people take the way donnie acts at face value even though its a horrible lie because he's a horrible liar, while understanding leo is bullshitting very well despite him actually being GOOD at bullshitting. many such cases

[undead-cypress]

Full Moon Full Life

(I'm normal about not having the right graphics card to play this game. I am coping so well. I am the most mentally healthy about depression simulator reloaded. )

[wigglebox]

Destiel Pride - Day 7; Queer Joy

[nevvn]

here's the thing i made for my giftee, for the @obeymeholidayexchange event! happy holidays everyone!! weeee!! (∩^o^)⊃━☆

[bullywugprincess]

As an autistic person, I think some autistic people (and neurotypicals attempting to be good allies) are sometimes doing more harm than good with how insistent we are that autistic people are as capable of achievements as anyone else.

I’m feeling quite tired right now and writing this first go without thinking too much about how I’m wording it, so please bear with me while I explain how I mean that. Basically I just saw a post of a father saying his son is autistic and has struggled to get a job because of it, but he was a really polite, sweet young man, and because of his personality one employer overlooked his struggles and gave him his first job. The post was him showing pride in his sons hood personality and spirit, and half the comments were autistic people saying it was patronising and “of course he can get a job, autistic people can do normal things and achieve things like everyone else.”

And look. I get it. We’re tired of being treated like children. We’re tired of being the subject of “inspo porn”. We’re tired of people acting like we can’t do things just because we’re autistic. But I think a lot of autistic people who are more well adapted and low-needs (again please excuse my terming, I know we don’t use low functioning/high functioning labels anymore but I don’t know what the alternative is) get offended by people acknowledging that some autistic people DO struggle, whether it’s with making friends or academically or with getting and keeping a job. Statistically speaking 3 in 10 autistic adults are in full time employment, compared to 8 in 10 non-disabled adults. And yeah that statistics probably off because of how many people go through life undiagnosed, but the point still stands. Because of learning difficulties, problems with socialisation or being unable to cope in a work environment due to sensory and other issues, many autistic people are unable to work. I don’t know the situation of the son from the post, but it is clearly something he’s struggled with, and the dad is not being patronising by acknowledging that struggle and praising him for overcoming it. By responding to a post like that by saying “of course autistic people can get jobs”, you are doing what ableists do. You are implying that people who can’t work because of their autism are actually just not trying. You are making autistic people who feel really proud of themselves for getting a job despite the difficulties they face seem stupid for it. And, if you’re not careful, you become someone’s excuse to claim autistic people don’t deserve accommodation or disability allowance/benefits because “they don’t need it, autistic people are perfectly capable of getting jobs.”

Another thing to consider: think about that person who said “you’re autistic? But you don’t behave like my 7 year old nephew? That’s not what autism is.” By saying autistic people can do something because YOU can do it is setting a rigid view of What Autism Is. Which like. We’ve all established is bad.

Again I’d like to apologise for how badly worded and ramble-y this is but autism is a disability, and it effects everyone with it differently. Let’s not diminish other people’s struggles

[viveela]

That bowling dress is super cute

[simmersofia]

Autumn Oasis Springs, 07:47AM

Nancy: Malcolm. Did you enjoy yourself yesterday?

Malcolm: Huh?

N: At the party, I mean. I heard you coming back very late last night.

M: I’m sorry, mother.

Nancy: I don’t mind you attending parties, it’s good for appearances. For making connections. Just make sure you don’t let it affect your grades.

Malcolm: Of course.

N: Or your reputation. We don’t want you doing anything stupid while under the influence, now do we?

M: Ehum, yeah. No, I won’t.

N: That’s my boy.

[hergurlc]

Hellllp~ I’m not strong enough for this. This is sooo cuuuute. Now Netflix needs to release two special episodes during the summer showing what everyone is doing during their summer break. Make it a complete 10ep season like the first. They’ve done special eps for other shows before so it’s not too much of a stretch right?

We want the MOONCOVEY summer tour moments before they return to KISS!!!

[laurachouettepoetry]

A soul is a monstrous thing, weaker than the heart yet stronger than the mind. What you can’t give your heart, feed your soul with— and reveal everything hidden.

Laura Chouette

[aventurineswife]

Prince!Kaveh x Librarian!Veritas x Knight!Reader. I don't really have a specific idea in mind.. maybe angst with a happy ending? The prince is in a secret relationship with both Veritas and Reader, but they constantly have to hide their relationship away from the public due to it's nature, so they always meet secretly behind closed doors and wary nights away from the prying eyes... I have no idea how this will have a happy ending, but oh well. Can be one part or multiple ones. Whatever you see fit!

A Love Not Meant to Hide

Summary: Kaveh, a prince torn by the weight of his secret relationships, struggles with the pressures of living in the shadows with both Ratio, the brilliant intellectual, and you, his loyal knight. Despite the love and connection they share, secrecy takes its toll on their bond. As tensions rise, they come to a turning point where they must decide whether to continue hiding their love or face the world, no matter the consequences. Together, they find strength in each other and take a bold step toward living their truth, no longer fearing judgment or the price of their love.

Tags: Kaveh x Reader x Ratio, Polyamory, Angst, Romance, Hidden Love, Emotional Struggle, Slow Burn, Introspection, Knight x Prince x Poet, Secrets, Self-Acceptance, Character Growth.

Warnings: Mild angst, Emotional conflict, Secrecy, Self-doubt, Societal judgment, Adult themes (related to relationships).

The moonlight slanted through the cracks in the high tower’s windows, casting long shadows on the stone floor. Kaveh stood by the window, looking out into the vast expanse of night. His hair seemed to glow, even in the dim light, and his sharp eyes reflected the quiet turmoil inside. His mind raced, as it always did in moments like these. The weight of his secret relationships with both Ratio and you, the knight, pressed down on him like a thousand-pound stone.

The silence was broken by a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," Kaveh’s voice was strained, but calm—an echo of the serene face he showed the world. It was only in these hidden moments, with you and Ratio, that his true vulnerability would come to light.

You entered first, your heavy armor clinking softly as you walked, your expression full of resolve. You always carried that quiet strength, the one that made him feel grounded even when everything else around him felt like it was on the verge of falling apart.

Behind you, Ratio stepped in, his usual self-assured stride a little more cautious tonight. His hair, as always, swept across his face in a way that seemed deliberate, adding to his aloof yet magnetic presence. His piercing eyes studied Kaveh, as if seeking answers to questions Kaveh had yet to voice aloud.

"How long will this continue, Kaveh?" Ratio asked, his voice sharp, yet there was an underlying softness—concern, maybe. His intellect rarely softened in such moments, but Kaveh knew the gravity of his words. This secrecy was starting to wear on them all.

Kaveh turned to face the two of you, his hands gripping the edges of the windowsill, the weight of his own ideals and sacrifice heavy on his shoulders.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this," he admitted quietly, his voice trembling only slightly. "Being with both of you in secret, hiding everything from the world—it’s tearing me apart."

You stepped closer, your presence a calm beacon in the storm of his emotions. Kaveh’s eyes met yours, and you could see the exhaustion, the self-doubt, the vulnerability he so rarely let anyone see. You reached out, your hand resting on his arm, grounding him in the warmth of your touch.

"Do you think we’re happy with this too?" you asked softly, your voice steady but full of pain. "But we understand why we must keep it hidden. For your safety, for all our safety."

Ratio’s eyes flicked to you, a fleeting moment of shared understanding before he turned back to Kaveh. "I have no patience for this secrecy," he said bluntly, "but I also understand its necessity. The truth must come out eventually. We cannot live like this forever."

Kaveh let out a long sigh, leaning into your touch as if it were the only thing anchoring him to the present. "I want to be with both of you, openly. I want to share our love with the world. But I fear the consequences… the backlash, the judgment. You both deserve more than this shadowed life."

You gave a soft, bitter laugh. "We both knew the risks when we decided to be with you, Kaveh. We knew what it would cost us. But our love... our bond... that’s worth any sacrifice."

There was a long pause, filled only with the heavy sound of breaths in the silence. Kaveh, for all his brilliance and idealism, had always been afraid—afraid of losing the people he loved, afraid of the world’s unforgiving gaze. But now, in the quiet sanctuary of their secret meeting place, he realized something important.

You and Ratio, despite the differences in your worlds, had always been there for him. Both of you had offered him your support, your trust, and above all, your love. And maybe, just maybe, it was time to stop hiding.

"Maybe… maybe it’s time we take the risk," Kaveh said, his voice stronger now. "Maybe the world will never understand, but we don’t have to live for their approval. We live for each other."

Ratio was silent for a long moment before nodding, a rare warmth in his gaze. "If you’re ready, then so am I. We all deserve to live freely—without fear."

You smiled softly, stepping closer to Kaveh and pulling him into an embrace. "No matter what happens, Kaveh, we’re in this together. All of us."

Kaveh let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, his heart lighter than it had been in months. With you and Ratio by his side, he felt a spark of hope for the first time in ages. They would face the consequences, whatever they might be, together.

In that moment, the three of them stood there, in the quiet warmth of a hidden room, with nothing but the sound of their hearts beating in unison. It wasn’t perfect—nothing ever was—but it was real. And that was enough.

The day came when the three of them were no longer willing to live in fear. Kaveh made a bold decision—he would no longer hide in the shadows of his love. Together, they faced the world, each step forward a testament to their courage, their love, and their belief in each other.

The road ahead would be difficult—society wasn’t kind to those who defied its rules—but for Kaveh, Ratio, and you, the journey was worth every challenge. After all, the beauty of love, like the beauty of art, had the power to change the world. And as long as they had each other, nothing could ever tear them apart.

In time, the world would come to see that the bond they shared was something worth celebrating—proof that love, in all its forms, could bloom even in the darkest of places.

And maybe, just maybe, that was the greatest masterpiece they could ever create.

[graynide]

Officer Lily "Ms. Pretencha" Doodles, my Dogman Sona

[turns-out-its-adhd]

Holding eggs

One of the things I encounter a lot while trying to communicate my struggles with ADHD to those who don't experience it is the ever present "Oh, everyone is a bit like that" and yes, everyone can be late, messy, forgetful, disorganised etc. and struggle with the same things. But the extent to which it impacts my life is many degrees greater.

I can't express succinctly how tiring and frustrating these often well-meaning but misguided comments can be. So please bear with me for an incoming overly complicated analogy.

How many eggs do you think most people could comfortably carry in one hand? One or two at least? They conventionally come packages of six, so as a society we've probably accepted that six is too many. 

How many do you think you could probably carry but it might be tricky? For the sake of this analogy let's go with four eggs.

For most people, carrying four eggs in one hand would probably be at least a bit stressful. Just a bit too much of a handful of breakable and potentially messy items. But you might manage, most of the time, to carry four eggs in one hand. Sometimes you might drop one and end up with three eggs.

‘Oft, there goes an egg! I've made such a mess, carrying these four eggs is so tricky!’, you might think (wondering why the hell you have to carry four eggs in one hand, not knowing you are just part of an overly complicated analogy in this universe)

Now imagine you are a person who has no thumbs. Or maybe just three fingers. Or maybe very small and greasy hands. 

Carrying those four eggs would be quite a bit more tricky. You very often drop two or three eggs, some days you drop all the eggs. Sometimes, with a lot of practice, careful balancing and intense concentration, you manage to carry all the eggs. Hurrah.

When you drop the eggs, other people (in this analogy created universe of egg holders) will commiserate and say:

"Oh dear, don't worry I drop an egg all the time! Everyone struggles with the eggs!"

And they do, you see them dropping one or two of their eggs now and then and sighing and shaking their heads and you think - we all drop our eggs sometimes, I should just clean up this mess and make do with the eggs I have left.

You really start to believe you should be able to carry the eggs, and that you probably drop about the same amount of eggs every now and then as everyone else.

But you don't have any thumbs, or just three fingers, or very small and greasy hands.

You are dropping a lot of eggs.

You are spending a lot more time cleaning up sticky egg mess.

You are getting very upset with how small your omelette is.

You go to your fully fingered friend and sigh and say :

"Oh, carrying these eggs is so hard, and I am always dropping so many, and spending so long cleaning up sticky egg mess"

And they pat your shoulder and sigh with you and to comfort you say:

"Yes, we all drop the eggs sometimes. Don't worry about it so much though, that's normal!"

And you look down at your thumbless, or three fingered, or very small and greasy hands and think : 

‘No, I think it might just be harder for me - somehow’

And you're so tired of carrying eggs, and you're angry that no one sees how hard you are trying to carry the eggs, and that they won't acknowledge that you are dropping more eggs even though you are trying harder not to.

And that's a bit what it feels like to me trying to tell people who don't experience what I experience, just how hard it is for me sometimes. A lot of the time. Most of the time.

[23z567]

[jq37]

Just to throw my two cents on the Rat Grinder discourse: They weren't worth the Intrepid Heroes' time. We didn't get the full picture of what's going on with the Grinders until the last quarter of the season. Before that they were just this other clique that hate the main characters, so in-character why would the Bad Kids bother giving them so much attention when they've got so much of their own crap going on. Kristens quest to get Cassandra back and her presidential campaign, Gorgugs courseload, Riz's million and one plates that he's been spinning all season, Adaines financial problems, Figs curse and her doubts about what she wants to do with her life. Fabian's the only one who might have had the time, but he had to be Maximum Legend. There genuinely was no time or even an incentive on the IH's side to develop the Rat Grinders characters.

I still think it's fucked up that these teenagers got taken advantage of by adults they trusted, but we didn't learn any of that until we only had two roleplay episodes left. Too little too late to even try anything diplomatic even if they didn't spend all their time after the Last Stand in hiding.

And a thing about Ivy that no one is roasting her about and really should: An elven archer? Really? Wow, never seen that before.

Yeah totally. Like, from a meta level, I see where the players themselves could have been more curious about the Rat Grinders. There are obvious plot threads that could have been teased out there (though, in fairness to the cast, the adult manipulation aspect didn't become clear until way later in the season--the rivalry and foil aspects were more obvious). This final confrontation could look really different if they'd played that all the way out all season.

But in character? The Bad Kids really didn't have a good reason to waste time on the Rat Grinders. They came into this school year already burnt out from their Night Yorb quest and wanting a break. But they don't get that because they immediately are beset by problems they have to deal with--Kristen's god is on death's door from neglect and she's on the brink of expulsion, Riz is running himself ragged trying to boost his resume for college, Fig is having a whole ass existential crisis, Adaine is struggling with money issues she doesn't want to talk about, Gorgug is taking FOUR YEARS of school at the same time, and Fabian is multiclassing and dealing with his empty house/not having parental support (or Cathilda's support) for the first time. They are dealing with SO MUCH high stakes, personal stuff before the plot even kicks in. And, mechanics-wise, this is represented with the downtime system that means that any time they spend on the RG's is time they can't spend on something that matters more to them. IMO, not prioritizing your haters is actually pretty mature. Like, they weren't proactively using their free time to bully them or anything (except for arguably Fig). They were snippy with them when they crossed their paths and that was it. As opposed to the Rat Grinders who literally had to be told by Jace to stop antagonizing the Bad Kids (though they must have been pretty ineffectual at it because the Bad Kids hardly noticed, which I bet stung considering they were so obsessed).

And also, it's not like they didn't try at all with the Rat Grinders. Early Insight checks on Kipperlilly just got, "This is a polished steel orb of a personality" which doesn't sound very worth interacting with in a sympathetic way if at all and then the next big thing they learn is that she had hated Riz since Freshman Year and that she wants Riz and Kristen dead. And that's AFTER we saw her smile and kill her party cleric. In their position I'm not spending further time trying to empathize with this person, I have made my judgement and it's up to the Jawbones of the world to find if there's something in there to be rehabilitated.

And that's not the only case. Adaine straight up saved Ruben from disintegration during the Frosty Folk battle when she easily could have saved the spell slot, but that didn't soften him towards the Bad Kids any. Adaine also was really keen to Scry on the Rat Grinders to find out what was happening at their meetings. But, in scene at least, she was never able to do that so we never got a scene of them, huddled together, clearly unsure about the path they're on but not feeling like they can walk it back or say no to the authority figures in their lives. She didn't get anything humanizing that would cause her to rethink their position on them the way that she did with Aelwyn for instance. So why would they think they're anything but gleeful co-conspirators?

Hell, the one RG Adaine was even slightly curious about was Oisin and now we know that he was feigning interest in her which, man, can you imagine how much worse that would have felt if she'd actually taken the bait and pursued him beyond just thinking he was cute? Of course, it's possible that her interacting with him more along with some good charm rolls could have changed the narrative in some way but we can only go off of what we know to be true in canon and those facts are (1) He tried to get closer to Adaine while actively planning the downfall of her and her friends, (2) he (along with Ivy) was mean to Buddy behind his back while tricking him into a plan that would force him to go against his religious beliefs, and (3) he called his KVX related dragon ancestors to try to kill the Bad Kids and endanger the entire student body population. Three strikes, you're out. If I'm a Bad Kid I'm not super interested in whatever else is going on with him. And again, literally all of Adaine's friends (except Riz) gave her help to do an Insight check on him during their confrontation in the hallway so she was looking for something there worth engaging with, but she didn't get much.

Fig was fully doing CIA, MKUltra, Fantasy Geneva Convention violations on Ruben to try see if she could get information or flip him. I think she did it in an objectively insane way so I'm not entirely shocked that it didn't yield the exact results she was looking for. But she never found the smoking gun (or whatever the opposite of that is) in his head that would absolve him/show the Rat Grinders were being controlled and her messing with his dreams never flared his conscience enough to make him try to break free (as far as we know) which is what I assume she was going for. If I was Ruben looking for a way out but scared of the repercussions, I might go to Adaine who saved me from certain death earlier the same year and has helped saved the world 3 times with her party and their friends in high (and low) places. Maybe that's what Fig thought might happen but it didn't so from Fig's POV? Gave him a chance. Time to start blasting. And again, at that age, if I walked in to the first day of class and the first thing this random boy does is sneer at me and flaunt his musical success, I'm popping up on his Nemesis Alert at that moment. Doubly so after he tries to trick me and my friends into doing drugs so we get expelled. I'm surprised she tried at all with him.

Fabian absolutely tried to interact with Ivy--in large part for self interested reasons of course, but that doesn't change that he did it. And she came across as callous and unkind from the jump. Their final conversation before the latest episode is the one where she talks about wearing Mazey like a sweater and then says that Fabian missed his chance with her before stalking off. That's a pretty open and shut interaction. No way 17 year old me is like, "Hmm, but why is she acting so mean? Perhaps I should examine that more closely to further understand her." Nah, I've decided she sucks.

And Kristen has tried with Buddy literally up until the last moment. She rolled an Insight check on him right before the fight started and she got a 1. She got nothing from him.

Mary Ann is actually the only Rat Grinder who hasn't done anything to make a bad impression on the Bad Kids--the only thing she did was have a really good Bloodrush tryout. So no reason to hate her specifically (and, in fact, she is also the only Rat Grinder that at least half of them are positively obsessed with), but no reason to explore her further. And Kristen still tried giving her a stuffed animal and her response was that she already had that one and that she was going to give it away. What are they supposed to do with that?

Even when they tried, they didn't get information that was worth chasing when they were so busy and had to manage their free time. Gorgug didn't even slot in downtime to talk to his bio parents when they visited. Why would he spend any time on Mary Ann to figure out her deal? Maybe if they were given more explicit opportunities to interact with them in passing. If Mary Ann was shown at Bloodrush Games. If during class time Oisin tried to interact with Adaine. If Kristen ran into Buddy and Bucky talking. If any of their forays into talking to them or looking into them yielded anything actionable or that piqued their interest--they opened the door for Brennan to give them something more than once. But they never got anything that was worth investing more of their limited time into.

(And also, they didn't learn that Porter was involved until WAY into the last quarter of the episodes. Which absolutely could have changed things since, as far as they knew the RG's were working alone to raise this god which isn't crazy for them to think because Kristen literally did that last year and it was of her own free will. If they knew early that the RG's were smaller players in Porter's plot then maybe they would have been in more of a rescue mindset--especially since Fig has always mistrusted him--but that's not information they had and by the time they got it, the RG's were in deep hiding, like you said.)

And so, coming into the last few episodes, that's who the Rat Grinders are to the Bad Kids. A group of kids who they first heard about in the context of, "they famously hate you," even though they'd never interacted before. A group of kids who they already thought sucked even before they tried to kill the entire study body an hour ago. A group of kids who are trying to doom all of Elmville to eternal rage and who are willing and ready to kill them to do it.

With that context, yeah I think their actions are pretty understandable.

(Also, lmao. Yeah, I think calling Ivy basic would probably hurt her more than most things you could say to her.)