#I LOVE YOU I'M GENUINELY SO SORRY AGAIN I'VE BEEN HAVING A TERRIBLE TIME

[malscare]

I don’t know how you do it but you find the best Columbo stuff on here. I hope my last message came through (just a bit worried, if it did it’s all good, pls don’t apologize!). I hope you’re doing alright!! Things have been kind of tough for me. But!! I get a week off of work and I’m gonna watch some Columbo and terrible horror movies and cuddle with cats!!

I’m not good at editing but I do keep thinking back to your comment about making a fancam of him lol. Maybe I’ll just make a phone widget that shuffles through my pictures of him so that when I get on, I get a dose of joy. Hope you get some joy soon too.

- 🤎 Columbo anon

I'M SO SORRY I FEEL LIKE I FAILED YOU, i haven't been in a good place either so I've been saving my response for it for when I'm more capable of focusing properly and giving a good response ;w; I always remember after my free time runs out and I'm really sorry, I hope it's still ok if I answer it soon!!!!! (I'm answering this one first bc that feels probably more polite and relevant hopefully)

I love u dearly and I hope you're able to enjoy your week off peacefully!!!!! Pls keep me updated on your time, I'd love to know if you have any recs for bad horror too bc that also seems rly good right now. ik i started watching all the Friday the 13th movies around this time last year, so I might continue on w those myself in the meantime!!!!! pls give the cats lots of pets and kisses for me I'm so jealous lol

PPLLLLEEAAASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE A FANCAM ESPECIALLY IF IT'S LIKE CAPCUT EDITS OF LIKE JUST IMAGES U HAVE OF HIM. THAT'S EPIC

also not to be too serious but I really hope things get better for you soon, I'm sorry to hear you've been having a shitty time too. im rooting for you so hard

[diagonal-queen]

HELLO!! i keep requesting them sotty im obsessed but what about hunting dogs with a s/o who has a child😅😅i got silly again

Hunting Dogs with your child

♡ pairing: Fukuchi Ouchi, Jouno Saigiku, Tecchou Suehiro, Teruko Okura (platonic), Tachihara Michizou x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How do these goofballs fare as stepdads? (or, in Teruko's case, fun auntie?)

♡ cw: Swearing, unofficial stepfathering, unrealistically good stepfathering, reader's ex situation is not established but it's assumed that their baby momma/daddy is not in the picture (Tachihara), mentions of violence

note: I just haven't written anything in ages, and for that I apologise. Wow, being in university is time consuming! I've had block for months and it's been an absolute pain in the arse but I'm back babey! Keep your requests coming anon- I am the Hunting Dogs whisperer and I will write them till I die. Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Fukuchi:

My dude is so so so enthusiastic. You mean to tell him that he gets a beautiful loving partner AND a new little guy to hang out with?? Sign him tf up

This man buys your kid so many presents it's genuinely concerning. Your child is spoilt to hell and back by Fukuchi. You need to discourage him from this behaviour STAT

He constantly uses dad words like 'buddy' and 'pal' and 'kiddo' to refer to your kid and they eventually start responding to these nicknames lol

He would totally also do dad stances and just embrace the fatherly aura that is slowly overtaking him day by day (bro starts falling asleep on the couch while the game's on at 9pm)

He's actually surprisingly gentle with your child. If they cry he'll pick them up and comfort them very well. He's like a whole different person when your kid is scared or sad- it's the cutest thing ever

If your child ever gets him a Fathers' Day present he'll probably cry like old man tears of joy. In fact if your child ever does anything nice for him he'll be incredibly touched. Kinda reminds him what he's doing his job for :')

Tells your child great exaggerated (CHILD FRIENDLY) stories about his heroic achievements as a soldier before bed. It's genuinely super cute you guys

If the kid ever runs up to him in excitement when he arrives home in the evening he returns the energy and is like 'omg there they are! that's my kiddo! how have you been??' and picks them up and AUGH they're so cute

Just....🥺🥺

Jouno:

Your child is probably scared of him at first. Within their first meeting he probably makes them cry.

Sorry y'all 😭 but he doesn't exactly come off as much of a teddy bear...and nor does he really act like one with anyone else other than you in private

Jouno just isn't good with kids. Not in the sense that he's scared of them but that he doesn't really know how to interact with them without being intimidating or otherwise just detached

But he really loves you, and he wants to be a good parental figure to your kid, so he tries to warm them up to him by getting them a gift. That probably helps- he might not know much about kids but he's right to assume that they fucking love receiving gifts

Whatever your child's hobbies/interests are, Jouno genuinely does try to connect with them over it, and after a while it does work.

Soon enough your child and Jouno are inseparable and your child is spewing sadistic military rhetoric and oh dear god you've made a terrible mistake introducing the two of them

Yeah, Jouno probably teaches your kid all KINDS of horrible things. He will tell your child stories about times he's tortured suspects, or slaughtered gangs, and just stuff that is not family friendly. You have to nip that behaviour in the bud or else...

He's generally pretty good at taking care of your child, but like, if your kid cried because they were scared there was a monster under the bed, Jouno would probably be like "Yeah. There is. Good luck." and then turn off the lights and leave 💀

Just give him time. He'll learn how to be an emotionally available parent at SOME point

Tecchou:

He's not the step dad. He's the dad that stepped up

Tecchou is definitely very aloof and awkward around your child- like, he knows how to interact with you, but children are different. Children are frightening. And they are his biggest fear maybe

In spite of this, he is fiercely protective of your kid. He will make sure that child is as safe and calm as possible at all times, and he certainly prefers to show that he cares through actions rather than words.

He usually wouldn't initiate physical contact with your child but if they hugged him he would hug back, if they gave him a hi-five he would do it back, etc etc. he will never let your kid down

If your child likes make belief, you can bet you'd walk into a room and find your kid all dressed up, off their rocker in full theatre mode, while Tecchou is sitting on the floor, also dressed up, but looking more depressed than ever before

Save him from your baby. They are taking YEARS off his life

He probably accidentally sends your kid to hospital at some point because he cooked for them. Damnit Tecchou, how don't you realise that a child's stomach wouldn't be able to handle a combination of chocolate and beef

It's okay though, he does learn from this. Plus, he takes care of your child and buys them presents and hangs out with them until they're better <3

He might not join your child in the ball pit, but he would watch them swim around in there with the softest, faintest, most affectionate smile on his face. And that is all that matters folks

Teruko (platonic):

The funnest, meanest, coolest auntie ever

Teruko will lead your child down a dreadful path. Limit their visits to holidays and birthdays for your own sake and the sake of your young one

She's really more than happy to negatively influence look after your child if you need her to though, and they love her because she's super chill and lets them get away with all kinds of things (that aren't violent crimes against humanity)

Your parent says one cookie after dinner? Screw it, have six. I won't tell if you won't. - Teruko, probably

She uses her ability to entertain your kid sometimes- usually she'll decrease her age so she can join them in things like building pillow forts and playing on jungle gyms

I'm just picturing them playing at the park and some concerned parent coming up to them asking where their guardian is and Teruko just fucking transforms into a grown woman on the spot and goes 'WHO'S ASKING' 😭

Teruko is a super cool fun aunt. But she is very wise, and she really will give your kid good life advice on occasion.

She'll also cheer them up when they're feeling down, and if they're feeling scared she helps them step out of their comfort zones and confront their fears (in a safe way!!)

If your kid is like, getting picked on at school or something, Teruko will nag you to phone their school about it. If you don't, she does. If they don't do anything about it, she does. Bottom line is NOBODY fucks with your kid when Teruko is around

I guess technically she really is scary dog privilege lmao

Tachihara:

Help he's so nervous at first? Tachihara this is a child, not a wise sage- you can be normal around them

He just wants to make a good impression on the child okay he's doing his best

But (obviously) your kid immediately loves him, and thinks he's the coolest guy ever, and wants to hang out with him all the time

Tachihara has a bit of a concern that the kid will think that he's trying to replace their other parent, which is fair, but it's unfounded because your child absolutely adores him and does not care about that at all

If your child ever calls him 'Dad' watch his soul fucking transcend to a new plane, he's so surprised and honoured that this beautiful person's child would consider him their parent

Your kid has Tachihara wrapped around their tiny finger. He will oblige them with anything- if you've got a toddler who likes uppies and piggybacks, say your prayers for Tachihara's upper arm and back muscles because he will carry them for hours

You really need him to stop leaving weaponry around the house, though- the absolute HEART ATTACK you had when you saw your precious baby carrying around an unloaded pistol

Also, Tachihara, babe, STOP SWEARING SO MUCH AROUND THE BABY. I CAN'T HAVE MY KID SAYING 'FUCK' TO STRANGERS - you, probably

Doesn't really ever talk about his job(s) with your kid, all they know is that he 'kills bad guys', and they think that's cool as fuck

He's not perfect, sure. But he is trying so hard to be The Perfect Parent™ and, more importantly, he loves your child to bits

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen

of course, thank you to anon for this req!

[pacifymebby]

I cry when people yell at me(parent issues™️) and I was wondering how the peakys would react to that, like I can handle most things but yelling is like a big nono for me, would they be concerned or tease me for that, I don't think they will but I'm interested on how they'll react to it for the first time it happens, or if I yell back for the first time? You just do a great job at writing these characters💛

( im sorry if this is too personal or whatever)

AN: not too personal my lovely dw, here at Pacifymebby dot Tumblr dot com we (me) totally specialise in ✨ fanfiction as therapy ✨ haha. Sorry these have taken me ages to do. I'm also a crier when men shout at me so I hope I've written this how you wanted!!!!

Tommy

🌿 Is genuinely very shocked when, mid argument, you start crying. You've seen so much worse than this, you've witnessed some terrible things because of him and his brothers, the fights they get into every week. Only last week you'd watched with as calm a demeanour as one could manage, whilst Arthur had a violent breakdown and smashed a chair up at the dinner table. You'd not shown a shred of fear. But now, here you are, silent, heartbreaking tears streaming down your face and why?

🌿 because Tommy raised his voice at you.

🌿 you couldn't even remember what you'd been arguing about now. You'd seen red and blue fear in your mind the second he'd raised his voice. You'd watched him lose his temper with you, his jaw tense, his face going red as he yelled at you, his expression so angry, so cold and unforgiving. And it had shocked you. Tommy had never raised his voice at you before. You'd seen him shout at his brothers but he'd never shouted at you.

🌿 and the sight of you suddenly drained of colour, your skin taking on that strange bloodless translucency as you starred back at him wide eyed and fearful... it shocks him. You're looking at him like you don't recognise him and suddenly there's a lump in his throat.

🌿 He reaches out for you but you flinch away from him, backing away slowly and then suddenly fleeing, running away, vision blurred by your tears. You don't really know where to go and you can here him calling after you, but his voice raised shouting down the hallway for you only makes it worse. Only adds to your fear.

🌿 you're certain that you're in trouble so you don't stop even when he calls after you. Thing is he hasn't even said he's sorry. Hasn't realised why you're running from him.

🌿 "Y/N love for fuck sake what're you doin... we need to talk about this... Y/n stop!"

🌿 He's chased you out to the gardens, still shouting, still not getting the hint... it's only when he shouts again, louder this time, screaming your name across the lawn that you freeze. His voice seems to shake the whole world and it strikes the fear of god into you. So you stop. And he thinks thats the problem solved, that you've stopped running away from him now so he can return to you and you can talk like grownups.

🌿 but when he gets closer to you you back away some more, and even when he warns you to wait for him you edge away. Every step he takes you take one back until you find yourself backed up against a tree, looking at him with all this fear in your eyes.

🌿 He's careful as he approaches, one arm out to you, trying to coax you back to him... he can see that something has absolutely terrified you but it's only when he gets close enough to touch you, only when he brings his hand up to fix your hair that he realises what you're scared of.

🌿 "Don't hurt me!" You gasp, eyes squeezed shut, your body rigid with fear as you bring your hands up to protect your face. And it's that which makes him realise. That movement, that fragile tremble in your voice as you beg him not to harm you that breaks his heart.

🌿 and the realisation hits him like a freight train, chokes him. He can't believe you're frightened of him. He can't believe it's him who has caused you all this terror. You're trembling, your hands shaking the way a rabbit shakes when it knows it's being hunted.

🌿 He let's out a sigh, closes his eyes and tried to steady his own shaken nerves. He doesn't want to scare you anymore.

🌿 "Y/n, angel listen to me girl, I'm not going to hurt you..." he says, his voice a gentle caress as he takes your trembling hands in his, draws them away from your face and places them on his chest. He holds then both to his heart underneath his hand and with the other he cups your cheek. Makes you look up at him, catches your tears with his thumb and brushes them away.

🌿 "I scared you," he says looking at you ever so mournfully, he feels so guilty and you can see the hurt in his eyes. It just makes you feel worse and you shake your head trying to apologise. You can feel his heart beating beneath your hands, it's racing, his adrenaline too high and you feel guilty yourself because you made him angry.

🌿 "I'm.. I'm so sorry Tommy I made you angry I shouldn't have pissed you off its not..." but he cuts you off, finger pressed to your lips to hush you as he steps closer to you, his body so close to yours that you have to tilt your head back to look up at him. His head is bowed to look down at you.

🌿 "Shh now angel I'm talkin yeah, my turn to talk now eh so listen to me..." he's being ever so gentle, his hand holding your hip, the other tucking your hair behind your ear and stroking your cheek. He doesn't look harsh or sharp anymore, instead of anger his eyes are full of love. "Don't you apologise to me sweetheart, please don't do that... I'm sorry I shouted at you angel, shouldn't have done that but listen to me now eh cause this is important..."

🌿 You can't take your eyes off him, you're still shaking, still crying, your hearts still racing, but you're not frightened anymore. He's looking down at you with such an intense honesty, you can see the remorse in his eyes when he talks to you in that sweet gentle voice.

🌿 "I will never hurt you alright, I promise... even if I'm angry yeah, even if we're havin a blazing bloody row, I won't ever lay a finger on you like that sweetheart, I won't ever hurt you.."

🌿 You'd probably start crying all over again, burying your face in his chest, feeling his arms wrap around you and hold you tight. His hand stroking your back as he bows his head to place a kiss on yours. He'd cradle your head against his body and rest his chin in your hair. Close his eyes, hold onto you tight and treasure the feeling of you in his arms.

🌿 "You really fuckin scared me Tommy..." you'd sniffle struggling to calm yourself down.

🌿 "I know angel, I know and I'm really fuckin sorry alright..."

Alfie

🐻 He didn't mean to shout, Alfie's never raised his voice at you before because he doesn't believe in shouting at women and girls. He has a very firm, traditional view on that and he's stubborn about it too. No swearing, shouting and hitting women and girls.

🐻 The only reason he shouted is because he panicked, you were wandering around in a daydream so you hadn't noticed the tension in the bakery when you'd entered through the back door on your way to see your beloved. Tommy Shelby had just left, informing Alfie that he'd set up a trip wire to ensure his safety, that if he tugged on the string in his hand he would pull the pin from a grenade which would blow up half the bakery, starting a monstrous fire which would probably kill all inside. All those barrels of rum would go up in flames.

🐻 And you were one step from tripping that string which Tommy had tied to the leg of Alfies desk all, "I'll let you deal with this, have a think about what I've said whilst you work eh, careful though, its a delicate procedure..."

🐻 So when he'd seen you Alfie hadn't thought twice, shouting "Y/N stop! Stay there, fuckin don't move!" and luckily you'd frozen. Your body going rigid as the fear struck you like lightning.

🐻 He'd startled you for sure but more than that the sound of his voice ricochetting around the room, the voice of a man who was usually so tender and gentle with you, always so protective of you.. He'd never spoken to you like that and hearing it now struck ice cold fear into the very bones of you.

🐻 Alfie doesn't even notice at first, doesn't notice how you've gone white as a sheet, can't even move, he's too worried about that wire, too busy trying to work out what to do. Hoping there's a chance Tommy was bullshitting him. Hoping that actually there's nothing to fear.

🐻 And poor you, you're just stood there, hand clutched over your mouth starring at your love in shock. You don't know what to do because you don't want to embarrass yourself by bursting into tears over a little shouting, but you already know it's too late. Alfie really scared you, and he's never scared you before.

🐻 So you can't hold it back, you're trembling all over with the effort of fighting your tears, some have already escaped, you've swallowed down a sob already but it's the fact that Alfie's not even looking at you. The way he shouted at you so sharply, so harshly, and he isn't even looking at you now. You're struggling to reason with your own anxiety, convinced that you've done something wrong, that he hates you...

🐻 but then he hears it. The sound of your choked sob, one you'd tried and failed to hold back. And once the first escapes the damn breaks and you're in floods of tears. You don't move, frozen to the spot but your hands are over your face and your crying so mournfully that the sound sends an icy shard through Alfie's heart. Suddenly the hidden explosive is the least of his worries.

🐻 "Fuck," he grumbles to himself, telling himself off for snapping at you, "gentle Alfie what have I fuckin told you man, sometimes yeah you have to be fuckin gentle..." he's grumbling to himself as he reassesses his predicament. He knows he needs to get to you and get you to safety but he knows he can't get to you without risking your safety.

🐻 So he sighs. "Ziskeit, my dear, y/n poppet I'm sorry yeah, didn't mean to shout at you ziskeit, didn't mean to shout.. that was just me you know... panickin right, but I shouldn't have shouted at you yeah lovely girl I'm sorry..." he's making his way towards you very slowly and very carefully, talking soft and gentle, hands out because he doesn't want to startle you. His eyes flickering with concern between you and the wire you almost tripped.

🐻 "See my ziskeit, down there right by your feet yeah, there's a wire right and I need you to be very careful cause it's very dangerous yeah..." he doesn't want to scare you more than he already has but he also doesn't want you to move and accidentally set it off.

🐻 When he finally gets to you he doesn't hesitate to wrap his big arms around you and give you the warmest, tightest bear hug. He holds you firm against his chest, strokes your hair and cradles your head, burying your face in the crook of his neck. His beards tickley on your cheek and you're all wrapped up in the comfort of his musky scent.

🐻 "There, there my little ziskeit, s'alright now yeah, your Alfie's got you my darlin an he ain't lettin you go.."

🐻 He takes your hands from your face, won't let you hide and then he wipes your tears away with his thumbs. You can't just turn the waterworks off though and the tears keep coming.

🐻 Alfie feels so guilty.

🐻 But he'd hold your face in his hands and put his forehead against yours, looking down into your watery wounded eyes with such an intense devotion.

🐻 "Didn't mean to scare you poppet, please don't be scared now yeah, I'm here, I love you... I didn't mean to shout."

🐻 He'd probably call Ollie or one of his trusted men for help, he'd be instructing them on how to undo and disarm Tommy's trap, all the while still holding you and hushing you. The contrast between the way he barks orders at his men and then turns to you with the most tender, soft voice, shushing you and stroking your hair.

🐻 Promises he'll never shout at you again, but also, because he knows what he's like he also promises that if he does raise his voice at you, it won't be because he's angry and it won't be because he hates you. It'll be because he'd a stupid old man who forgets himself sometimes.

🐻 You'd sniffle, this shy smile on your lips as you tell him "you're not a stupid old man..." and he'd just chuckle, kiss your nose and brush your hair away from your tear stained cheeks, probably catching another tear on his thumb. "I am for making my ziskeit cry, but, you have my word now don't you girl, ain't ever gonna make you cry again..."

🐻 It's a big promise but Alfie is truly devoted to you and so protective of you that he really does hold it against himself forever. He's always viewed himself as your protector so the idea that you were scared of him is horrifying to him. He really does intend to keep his promise.

🐻 Will set a rule in the bakery and the warehouses that if you're around nobody is to raise their voice for any reason. He'll spin some bullshit about how it's very fucking rude and inconsiderate to shout when there are women and children present. If anyone breaks that rule Alfie will not hesitate to silence them in his own special way.

Arthur

🍂 It's probably not the first time this has happened let's be real here, this is probable not even the first time this has happend this week...

🍂 Arthur's emotions aren't exactly the easiest thing to endure... for either of you. He has a quick temper and he doesn't know how to express himself. If he's scared he turns to violence, if he's upset, he turns to violence, if he's angry, violence... even when he's happy or excited something usually gets broken, he usually forgets himself, talks too loudly... shouts...

🍂 And even though you're used to Arthur and his loud, uncontrollable and often unpredictable ways, you've never been able to get used to his yelling. You've always been easily startled and people yelling, raised voices has always set you on edge. And when someone shouts at you well, you always cry. You can't help yourself and you feel so stupid for it sometimes too... especially when it's Arthur who has made you cry because you know you should be used to it by now. You know what he's like... when he shouts and you start crying you always feel like a stupid child who can't control her own emotions.

🍂 But Arthur understands how that feels. It's not like he can control his either...

🍂 So of all the Blinders Arthur is the most sympathetic. It's not just that he feels terribly guilty for making you cry, it's that he hates how bad about yourself it makes you feel too and he wants you to learn not to be so hard on yourself.

🍂 So, he's always trying his best not to shout, for whatever reason... sometimes he comes home ecstatic about something that happened at the Garrison, he's half way through shouting through the house for you when he cuts himself off.

🍂 "Nah what have I fuckin told you Arthur Shelby, indoor voice for y/n, nice, gentle indoor voice..."

🍂 But of course this is Arthur and no matter how hard he tries he forgets himself and loses control on the regular. And when he does you also lose control... Arthur is an intimidating man at the best of times and when he shouts he is so fucking scary... especially when he's shouting because he's angry, and especially if he's shouting because he's arguing with you...

🍂 When that happens you probably don't just cry, you burst into tears, really dramatically... you'd shrink away from him, curl up on the floor crying your heart out, shaking, sobbing into your skirts and then when he realises what he's done it hits him in the gut and he does cold, panicks. He feels so guilty for scaring you again and rushes to try and hug.

🍂 Gets down there on the floor with you and bundles you up in his arms. His whole demeanor changes in an instant, all the fight knocked out of him in seconds as he rushed to comfort you.

🍂 Cradles you to his chest, rocking you to sooth you as he apologises over and over again. "For fuck sake darlin come here, fuckin 'ell I'm such a bloody idiot, I'm sorry my darlin I'm fuckin so sorry alright... didnt mean to scare you girl, y'know I love you don't I, ain't gonna hurt you, didn't mean to scare you just forgot meself that's all, you're alright my girl, I've got you eh, your Arthur loves you very much an he's very fuckin sorry for being such a fuckin dinlow eh..."

🍂 You'd be clutching at his shirt, sobbing into his chest, doing your best to calm yourself down, mentally chastising yourself for being so stupid because you know he didn't mean it, you know it was an accident, that you're safe with Arthur, that he won't ever hurt you... but even so, he scared you so much...

🍂 you'd push yourself up in his lap and try to wipe your tears away, probably trying to pull away from him and act as though everything was fine even though all you want to do is nestle deeper into his embrace and hold onto him until your heart stops racing.

🍂 And Arthur knows you well enough to recognise what you're doing so he isn't going to just let you go and pretend you're fine.

🍂 "Right now where dya think you're goin darlin..." he'd start, catching your hand and tugging you back into his lap, his arm locking around your waist, the other hand using his sleeve to dry your eyes. "Look at me yeah, got all the time in the world eh so I don't know what you're rushin off for darlin..."

🍂 "S'alright I'm alright now Arth was just being stupid wasn't I, you didn't scare me it's fine just bein..." but he'd cut you off shaking his head, giving you that frown which means 'dont give me all that rot y/n, I know you.'

🍂 "Nah," he'd say, "now don't start with all that shit now darlin, not wi me eh, I did scare you and you ain't stupid for bein scared neither... you ain't stupid at all..." "but..." when you try to argue he holds your face in both hands, your nose pressed up against his, his scruffy hair tickling your cheek as he gets right up close to you. His eyes are so intense when they lock with yours. "No buts now sweetheart, I fuckin scared you, I know I did and I'm fuckin sorry for it too... I'm the one who lost control so I'm the one who has to apologise right love, so I'm fuckin sorry yeah sweetheart, I hate scaring you an I never wanna do it again yeah... need to start using me fuckin brain eh love..."

🍂 But you hate seeing him put himself down so you're there holding his face in your hands too, looking up at him with such intensity, such stubbornness, it would be infuriating for him if he didn't currently feel so guilty. "You're not a fuckin idiot Arthur... don't call yourself stupid alright..."

🍂 For you and Arthur these scenes always end in the most loving of embraces, him holding you tight against him, you sitting in his lap on the floor, the two of you holding onto one another so carefully, so lovingly, your eyes locking as you tell eachother again how much you love one another. Your lips meeting in a desperate adoring kiss. One neither of you want to pull away from.

🍂 "Fuckin love you my darlin, don't even mean to upset you eh, I'll try harder yeah, Indoor voice from now I promise..." he says in as close to a whisper as Arthur Shelby can manage, kissing your face all over. Kissing away the last of your tears.

🍂 He always promises he won't shout at you again, you always promise you'll stop crying when he does. Both of you know that in a couple days time you'll be going over the whole routine again.

John

🌼 For all that John is a very laidback man, he has a temper on him and he has a very strict sense of morals, right and wrong (despite all of his moral activities) and when he feels strongly about something he will argue about it... and he has a temper on him.

🌼 When he loses his temper things can get messy, too emotional... He doesn't usually lose him temper with you though and so when he does it comes as even more of a shock.

🌼 He doesn't mean to start shouting at you, he already knows you don't deal well with it... Your voices have both been raising slowly as the arguments been escalating and when he finally starts really shouting you shout right back...

🌼 He didn't even realise he'd shouted until he heard your voice shouting back... suddenly cracking because you're trembling, because you've been fighting back your tears and they've just escaped.

🌼 He sees the tears streaming down your face and realises that you aren't even shouting because you're angry, your shout was one of fear. A "Stop it! Stop fucking shouting at me John fucking stop it!" Your hands over your ears as you shout at him from across the kitchen table, your eyes desperate with heartache and fear.

🌼 For a second you're looking at him with real upset and shock, like you don't recognise him at all, like he isn't your John anymore...

🌼 He feels terrible. He's gripped with guilt, a pain in his throat squeezing and aching, he's choked up by tears in his own eyes. Sometimes feelings are too big and John can't handle them.

🌼 Views himself as being the good family man, a loving, caring husband, a protective father, the man who looks after everyone, provides for them, so the idea that he could have done to his wife the one things she really can't handle, disgusts him. He's really disappointed in himself and he's determined to make it up to you.

🌼 He'd raise his hands up in surrender, his eyes full of guilt, his cheeks a little flushed as a tear escapes his eye, he's stepping away from the table, approaching you cautiously.

🌼 "Am sorry flower, I'm sorry..." his voice is wobbling but he's talking quietly now, as if lowering his voice like this is going to make up for the violence of his shouting at you moments before... and it does a little, or at least, his sudden effort to be gentle and careful calms you, lets you know you're not in danger.

🌼 He'll wrap his arms around you carefully, waiting for you to come to him, waiting for you to let him hold you. But when you feel the outline of his embrace you crumble, throwing your arms around him, sobbing into his neck as he closes his hold around you a little tighter, keeping you secure.

🌼 He'll hush you and rock you, doing his best to calm you down, all the while apologising for losing his temper.

🌼 "I'm so sorry little flower, I shouldn't have shouted at you, shouldn't have lost me temper that was fuckin stupid of me wasn't it..."

🌼 Lots of kissing your hair and your forehead. Will hold you as long as you need to calm down.

🌼 Will wipe your tears and tap your nose. Will hold your face in both his hands, thumbs brushing over your cheeks, forehead to forehead promising you very passionately that he'll never shout at you like that again. You can see it in his eyes how strongly he feels, he's got tears in his eyes and he's perhaps crying a little too. He's talking but his jaw is clenched and the words are forced through his teeth so they come out really shaky but certain.

🌼 You catching his tears on your thumbs and brushing them away. The two of you eventually smiling at that, making a little joke about how over emotional you both are.

🌼 If you try to apologise for having cried, or if you try to joke about your tears, how silly it was of you to cry just because he shouted at you he will shake his head, cut you off all "no, no... no way flower, you ain't silly for cryin, you ain't supposed to like bein shouted at and your husband definitely ain't supposed to be shoutin at you like that neither..."

🌼 He'll be extra sweet to you for many days to come, bringing you flowers, talking particularly gently to you too. Lots of affection, hugs, kisses, holding your hand whenever he can, layering it on thick so that you know he still loves you... he knows how sensitive you are and knows that you'll still be worrying about the argument days later, so he'll do as much as he can to show you he loves you.

🌼 Once during a particularly heated family meeting Tommy shouted down the table at you for something you said, John was livid, white as a sheet with rage as he put his arms around you and stood protectively behind you. He was glaring so sharply his stare could have sliced Tommy open. Later you heard them scrapping when everyone else had left.

Bonnie

🍀 Bonnie is such a calm lad, he never shouts even when he's threatening other people. He's not the kind of man who raises his voice unless he really has to, he's usually the quietly threatening, controlled anger, spitting his threats through gritted teeth, not yelling...

🍀 It would take one hell of an argument, you'd both be feeling fragile and desperate, both of you shaking with he strength of the heartache and distress you're feeling.

🍀 Whatever you're fighting about it's been brewing for awhile so you both have so many thoughts, so many troubled feelings you need to get off your chest...

🍀 And when he does shout its because he feels a sudden panic, has a sudden fear that he will never be able to explain himself, never be able to make you understand... it's a truly desperate shout, almost a plea... "Would you just listen to me for a second love I'm trying to..."

🍀But he doesn't even finish the sentence, the second he realises he's yelled at you he feels a wee bit sick, his hands shaking and suddenly he can't speak at all. He's watching you, you're frozen, starring back at him with these terrifyingly sad wide eyes...

🍀 he can see he's just broken your heart.

🍀 For a moment theres silence, you're just starring back at him in shock, he's watching you, scared to move or say another word because if he does he's worried something between you will break. That you're both hanging on by a thread.

🍀 And when the thread snaps and you come back to life, your hand rising to cover your mouth and catch your sob, your eyes closing as your whole body shivers with the effort of fighting back tears, Bonnie watches you with this hollow weight in his stomach, this cold lump of guilt.

🍀 Swallows a lump in his throat, his voice quiet and shaky when he speaks again.

🍀 "Fuck, fuck I'm so sorry dove... don't cry, don't cry dove I'm sorry," he's speaking softly, hesitant to try and hug you because he saw the fear in your eyes and he's not sure you want him to come any closer now. "Please forgive me y/n I'm sorry, can I..." he trails off reaching for your hand, tugging you gently into his arms.

🍀Whatever you were fighting about it simultaneously ceases to matter to him and also becomes completely unsolvable...he's scared youre never going to look at him the same way again. He's supposed to be your man, your protector, the one person you can always trust and now he's let you down, he's scared you... he really resents himself for that, can't forgive himself for scaring you.

🍀"I'm sorry little dove," he'd whisper, his voice soothing, his breath brushing your cheek as he promises he won't shout like that again, "s'okay sweetpea, s'alright..." but he doesn't feel like its alright.

🍀 He'll hold you as snug as he can, but carefully too, treating you extra delicately, he's really hesitant to hug you too tightly or kiss you in case you're scared of him now.

🍀 "Don't be scared of my dove, you're breakin me heart," he says it with a teasing little smile, trying to get a giggle from you or something but you can hear the heartbreak in his voice and you know he's really telling the truth.

🍀 When you settle down a little you nuzzle into him, "Sorry Bon..." you sniffle trying to dry your eyes, caught out and speechless when he catches your hands in his and, strokes his thumbs over your palms. "What you sayin sorry for eh sweetpea? Am the one whose sayin sorry now..." he chuckles, holding your palm up to his lips and kissing your hands.

🍀 Even if you feel better quickly, soothed by Bonnie's sweetness, he won't feel better about it. The guilt will stick with him for a long time, one of those memories that comes back in the middle of the night and makes him cringe.

🍀 He's extra soft with you for the rest of the day and the morning after too, treating you like he's scared you're going to break. He speaks quietly and gently and he'll treat you with such tenderness, holding you at every opportunity, holding your hand even if you're just sitting together. Any excuse to kiss you or tell you he loves you.

🍀 Because he knows how upset you get when someone yells at you, if anyone else ever makes you cry by raising their voice at you Bonnie's fierce protective side will snap and he will be raring to defend you. You have had to talk him down from fights because of this.

Isaiah

🐀 He'll be so shocked when you start crying... he's seen you witness so much "worse" than shouting before... so he really wasn't expecting you to burst into tears when a drunk man at the bar raised his voice at you. He turns with a frown, brows tugged in in confusion as he blinks at you struggling to process the sight of you with tears streaking your face. He honestly didn't think anything could phase you...

🐀 For a second he's stunned but he soon snaps into action... "For fuck sake man now look what you've done!" He groans turning to the man behind your tears, "gone and made me girl cry ain't you... now I have to hurt ya..." he says with a cruel grin, as if he hadn't been intending on hurting the stupid cunt who'd been eyeing his girl up with lecherous eyes all evening anyway. "Don't get me wrong like... I wanted to anyway yeah, you've just given me a good excuse..."

🐀 Once he's satisfied he's fucked the stupid bastard up enough, he turns his attention back to you. He's not expecting to see you still crying, in fact he'd kind of been hoping he'd just imagined it, been hoping he was just going crazy like Arthur... but he isn't, and you are still crying.

🐀 And Isaiah isn't good with crying girls, doesn't know what to do about all those tears, feels totally at a loss.. especially because he's never seen you cry before.

🐀 will try to joke about it, not teasing you harshly, just making a little joke about how 'easily' scared it turns out you are... "You had me fooled mousy..."

🐀 This earns him a pretty firm slap from Ado who's jaw has just hit the floor... "Fuck sake dinlow whatre you doing making it bloody worse!" She'd be all arms crossed and shaking her head, muttering about how men these days are all the fucking stupid same.

🐀 but her slaps gotten through to Isaiah at least who is looking at you now with a somewhat more awkward smile, but he takes your hand and offers you a hug. This is the most stunted a conversation with Isaiah could possibly be and you're beginning to feel a whole different kind of anxious.

🐀 "Right for fuck sake, I've had enough of this.." Ada cuts in, "you.. give your girlfriend a fuckin hug alright," she'd say pointing at Isaiah and then pointing at you, "and you.. god sake girl get yourself a better fuckin boyfriend eh?"

🐀 "Alright Ada piss off yeah I've got her, she's alright now ain't you mousy..." Isaiah would groan, he's embarrassed by Ada pointing out his flaws but hes showing it as frustration instead. He will take her advice onboard however, he isn't that stupid.

🐀 He'll put his arm around your shoulder and squeeze you into his side steering you outside for a cigarette and some cool night air. He knows you'll be embarrassed about crying so he wants to take you somewhere quiet.

🐀 "Sorry for laughing at you doll you just took me by surprise... ain't like you is it... crying..." he'll say gently, he's sharing a cigarette with you, taking a drag or two and then placing it between your lips carefully. This is something he only does when he's trying to make you feel extra close and cosy with him.

🐀 He's quite curious about it, wants to understand why you cried, wants to know what it is about raised voices that you just can't deal with. And this curiosity isn't so that he can mock you, it's so that he can help you. He never wants to see you cry like that again so he wants to help you get over your fear...

🐀 He will offer you lots of reassurance, "you know I'm always here for you love, won't ever let anyone hurt you yeah... so even if someone does shout at you you ain't got nothin to be scared of yeah?"

🐀 He'll remind you that now you're with the Peaky Blinders you're always going to have someone near by to protect you. That men like "that cunt inside" will think twice about raising their voice at you...

🐀 Will hold your hand for the rest of the night, giving it reassuring squeezes at seemingly random moments. His affections will be subtle but constant all night and he'll make sure you feel safe.

🐀 If ever he shouts when you're nearby he'll remember himself quickly, apologising to you as soon as he can, making sure you're alright. If other Peaky lads chastise him for this he'll sock them round the back of the head no hesitations.

🐀 He's too easy going and because he doesn't want to shout at you, he avoids arguments like the plague, he'd rather just let most things slide until an issue absolutely has to be addressed because he's worried that if he gets swept into a row with you he won't be able to stop himself from losing his temper. He isn't sure yet whether this tactic is going to serve him well.

Michael

☘️ Its a heated argument, one which really give meaning to the phrase "blazing row." You and Michael are both furious with one another over a disagreement which has been stewing and bubbling away for weeks. One about Tommy Shelby and the unreasonable pressure he puts on his younger cousin.

☘️ When the row started it was because you wanted Michael to stand up to his cousin, you'd tried to encourage him to put his foot down, to start saying no every now and then when Tommy's demands crossed boundaries, but Michael didn't want to. he said you didn't understand the family, that you were sticking your nose into something which doesn't concern you.

☘️ And because you care so much about Michael you can't let go, won't back down. And because he cares about you and doesn't want you winding up in trouble Michael refuses to back down too. And thats how you end up screaming at one another in the middle of breakfast one morning.

☘️ He's so angry he doesn't notice that you aren't just shouting to match his fierce temper. He doesn't notice that you're trembling all over, that your cheeks are flushed and your eyes are wide and white - more like a deer in the headlights than a dragon.

☘️ The argument would peak with you unleashing all your fear and hurt, all your desperation into one shattering scream, "Leave me alone Michael for fuck sake leave me alone!" you shout over your shoulder when you go running off into the garden and he follows. HE doesn't listen however and it takes you picking a rock up and throwing it in his direction for him to get the message and let you go.

☘️ You run away for the rest of the day, go disappearing down the lane storming into the park up the street, finding a bench or a tree to sit beneath, hugging your knees to your chest and sobbing into your skirts.

☘️ Meanwhile at home Michael is pissed off, pacing, getting angry, damaging furniture as his temper gets the better of him. He's fuming, he can't get his head around why you ran away. Why you were so upset. . He thinks you behaved childishly and doesn't understand why you ran off like a little girl...

☘️ It takes you both a long time to calm down and when you do you really don't want to go back to the house, so you go to Polly's instead, you don't tell her about the row but you drink tea with her and wait for Michael to turn up. (Pol assures you he always comes to her when you've been fighting)

☘️ And when he does show up that evening he's been drinking whiskey and his mood is bitter and self pitying.

☘️ "Let me guess Michael my boy, you and y/n had a row... she got upset, she ran away, she..." "Came here," he smirks shaking his head with a small self deprecating smile, "hiya love..."

☘️ He won't apologise for shouting because you were shouting too, and because Michael never apologises for anything. But he will pour the two of you some tea and try to talk to you a little more softly than before.

☘️ "You worried me love, running away from me like that...gave me a scare..." "You were shouting at me," you shrug sullenly. He would be struggling not to let his temper flare again. "You were shouting at me too to be fair love... and anyway, you're not a little girl are you, you don't run away from someone just for shouting..."

☘️ You'd bristle, getting defensive, fresh tears glossing your eyes then, a painful lump in your throat when you realise he doesn't understand and maybe isn't going to.

☘️ "No," you say, voice catching in your throat, "but what kind of man likes screaming at his girl?" When you ask him that he won't be able to ignore the guilt he feels. He'll be struggling to swallow down the lump in his throat too and he'll reach for your hand across the table, brush his thumb over your knuckles as he looks you in the eyes, tries to find an unspoken equilibrium between the two of you. Something to two of you can hold onto despite your differences.

☘️ "Alright," he says finally, let's out a little sigh and squeezes your hand. "No more shouting eh how does that sound?"

☘️ When you nod your head, your smile forming slow but wide, he mirrors your warm expression and leans back in his chair, tugs your hand across the table so that you'll stand and come sit down in his lap.

☘️ "No more shouting it is then y/n," he says holding your waist in his hands, feeling closer to you at last, enjoying the comfort of your familiar shape beneath his hands. He'll point to his cheek then all, "come on love, give us a kiss eh? Forgive me?" and he'll wait until you do lean in to place a kiss on his cheek before he catches yours in his palm and steers your mouth towards his.

AN/ hope these were what you were hoping for lovely, I honestly am not sure I've done your request justice but I don't think I can write much more so sorry about that :/

Taglist:

@jomarch-wannabe @zablife @call-sign-shark @marwwfairy@toddlerbodybag@mollybegger-blog@inalovesrabbits-blog @elina-777@impossibleheartflower@liliac-dreamer@everysage@itsghostgirlyo

[gnomewithalaptop]

I'm still too distracted to write so here have a list of YJ-cast centric fics that make me froth at the mouth

Kon-centric recs:

I Want It That Way (1990s Tim/Kon) by WynterSky / @wynterstars -- A revamped, 90s-style Superboy origin story with added Lex Luthor AND a lil bit of 90s Robin for spice and flavor. Honestly, this whole series is so elite -- goes hard with the Superboy mythos + angst PLUS the third fic leans hard into the secret identity shenanigans in a way that'd make Miraculous Ladybug jealous. The first fic splits its attention between Tim and Kon, but the latter two are solidly Kon-centric

one plus one (easy math) by connerdrakewayne / @comphetkoncass -- Cassandra Cain and Kon go to a gala together. I'm always a sucker for a good Cass + Kon friendship. This one's very short and sweet, and it gets the job done -- 10/10 would read again

a timeline can be a haunted house by connerdrakewayne -- post-universal reset Kon angst + terrible coping mechanisms! This one goes so hard I read it three times. Tbh this author has an excellent handle on Kon as a character in general, so I honestly recommend just checking out their whole fic stash

Tim-centric recs:

Top 10 Secret Identity Fails by @havendance -- Tim's new English teacher is his on-again-off-again superhero teamup Helena Bertinelli (aka the Huntress). This one's just fun, okay -- the whole thing reads like it could be straight out of Tim's 1993 solo run, plus I love the dynamic between him and Helena. Overall just a very cool vibe

only the dead stay 17 forever by Sky_Dust (couldn't find their tumblr sorry) -- Listen, I've really been restraining myself here, because I realize my love for time-travel bullshit is not universal, but I genuinely couldn't not include this one. This bad boy is a Tim-centric time-loop featuring a seriously unhinged Tim -- definitely a darker tone, but I can't stop rereading it

Bart-centric recs:

reflections on respawning: a gamer's uncertainty by merils / @mamawasatesttube -- Bart has a hard conversation about his death and subsequent resurrection (feat. Kon) man, I just vibe with this one so hard. It's such a thoughtful take on Bart's more contemplative side, while still managing to keep his personality intact

the backlash to the backlash to the thing that's just begun by @kermit-coded -- trans/gnc impulse my beloved <3 also we get some funky Max & Bart bonding, made much rawer and more real by the fact that it's the 90s and nobody knows what they're doing. Again, feels like it's straight out of Bart's solo series

Cassie-centric recs:

you and I, we are more than just this armor by @suzukiblu -- KonCassie bonding + gender feels. They're both so trans in this, and the author does a great job of really digging deep into their complicated feelings (both about gender and about each other)

(also PLEASE somebody give me more Cassie-centric fic recs I'm literally begging you)

Team recs

I'm all yours but you're all mine by suzukiblu -- Poly Core 4 Soulmates AU! Essentially, everybody gets their 'soulmark'/soulmate-identifier (not really, but the best word) right when Kon wakes up in his pod, and because Superboy hasn't really made his big splash yet, they misidentify their soulmate as Superman; this is an issue mainly because 1) they're all 14-15 and Superman is roughly 30-ish, and 2) by the time this fic takes place, Superman is pretty verifiably dead. Currently in-progress, but this is such an interesting and fun take on the usual soulmates trope. I pinky promise you won't regret reading it

Love, Not Loved series by @popsunner -- hoooomygod this series makes me cry literally every time I read it, it's genuinely one of the most realistic representations of grief I've seen on AO3. Basically explores the general fucked-up-edness of pretty much the whole YJ Core 4 Squad dying one by one, with each fic focusing on a different funeral (complete with survivor's guilt, regular guilt, and just plain old complicated feelings). We get Cassie feels, we get Tim feels, we get Bart + Kon feels -- it's the whole shebang. Don't worry -- there's a happy ending eventually, but you def gotta work for it. This series beat me up and stole my lunch money and I'd happily do it all over again

Lost the Last Piece of Me by InsaneTrollLogic / @last01standing -- YJ Core 4 Animorphs AU! I'm sad to say I've never read the original Animorphs series, but every single Animorphs AU I've ever read has been such high quality. Unsurprisingly (I love this author, okay), this fic is no exception to that rule. Solid alien-invasion plot, character driven, and the world-building is explained well enough that even a newbie like me can understand (feat. some TimKon, but it's not the main focus)

Ikonoclast by anantipodean (couldn't find a tumblr) -- Tim and Kon get sent to an alternate reality that's almost (but not quite) like their own. This one's just fun for me -- I love the TimBart buildup and the worldbuilding on the other Earth is a funky time. Also, the other universe's Tim is goth and absolutely cannot stand mainstream-reality Tim, and I find that extremely funny for some reason

[kteezy997]

Daddy’s boy prt two rnnnnnn

Daddy’s Boy-Part Two

Warnings: angst, angry Timmy, cursing

“How could you fucking do this, y/n? He’s my son!” His thick brows were furrowed with anger. “Why did you keep him from me? Why did you keep me from him?!” Timmy was more than right to be angry with you, but he kept his voice low as to not startle your son who was in his room trying to sleep.

“Timmy, I am so sorry. There’s no way I could possibly make it up to you or him. I feel awful about not telling you. There’s been so many times that I almost called you.”

He put his hands on his hips, and narrowed his brows at you. “Then why didn’t you?”

You started to cry as all of the old, hidden away feelings came back. “I don’t know.” you trembled, “I just thought that you were done with me. That you wouldn’t want to see me, much less raise a kid with me. I thought you had better things going on in your life, that you wouldn’t want to be tied down. I knew you didn’t have time for me, so adding a kid would have been worse in my mind.”

“That’s ridiculous! He’s my flesh and blood, I never would have shunned either of you. You know me, y/n!”

“I know. It’s terrible, looking back now. I was just in so much pain from losing you back then. I didn’t want to put myself in a position to get hurt again. I was selfish.” Tears flooded your cheeks, and you put your head in your hands out of shame.

You heard Timmy sigh, and you felt him come closer to you. His hands were on your arms and he said, softly, “I never wanted to hurt you. I shouldn’t have broke it off with you. I never should have let you go.”

You weren’t expecting him to put his forehead on yours, or for him to wipe the wet tears from your face, but he did. You nearly shivered feeling his touch finally, after so long.

“Timmy, if you want to hate me, I would understand. But you have every right to be in Theo’s life. I won’t keep him from you.”

Timmy ran his hands through his hair, obviously exhausted, taking a seat at your kitchen table, “You should know that I could never hate you. I tried talking to you so many times after we ended things. You chose to ignore me. But you could have told me you were pregnant then.”

You sat down at the table as well, “I know. I’m sorry. I’d take it all back if I could”.

He took your hand, holding it in a resting position on the table. “It’s okay. I know you would, y/n. But there’s really no point in dwelling on the past, or the way things could have been. I hope we can move forward and get to a good place.”

You looked him, smiling softly, feeling the genuine warmth from his words. “Of course we can. This is a lot right now. We can take time to decide how to raise him. I assume that you want to."

"Yes. Now that I've met him, I don't want to be without him. Nor do I want him to feel abandoned, or that I don't love him."

"He is so much like you. He feels things so deeply and he thinks a lot. Now that you've met, I can just see your relationship growing. He has longed for you, Timmy." you gently gripped his hand, the hand you used to hold with all your heart, and you did in this moment as well.

He smiled softly, the long hours and heavy weight of the day was plain to see on his otherwise handsome face. "I can't wait to get to know him better. He's perfect, y/n, you've done a great job with him." he looked into your eyes, "I'm proud of you." He then squeezed your hand lightly.

"Thank you." you said, trying not to blush. This man still had an enormous effect on you, even after not seeing him in the flesh for years.

"I should go." he declared, standing up from his chair, "I have a bunch of meetings tomorrow, but would it be okay if I called tomorrow night? I wanna ask Theo about his day."

"Of course." you stood up with him, "You can call or come see him anytime."

"Good." he smiled. His eyes looked so dreamy, a stray curl fell along his forehead. You seemed to have forgotten how tall he was. And he had put on more weight since you’d last seen him, he had really grown into a man. He wasn’t just the skinny, goofy boy you knew anymore.

Before you went totally weak in the knees, you said, "Let me walk you to the door."

Timmy followed you to the front door, and once you approached it, he said, "It's weird. I thought I'd really never see you again."

You turned and looked at him, "I know, I'm glad that it has happened, though. Is it weird for me to say that I've missed you?"

He chuckled, "No, not at all. I've missed you too." his eyes narrowed at you, and his gaze lowered slightly and you could have sworn he was staring at your lips.

"Timmy.." you said his name in a whisper, in a moment of hope that this moment meant something.

He leaned in, his eyes slowly closing.

You felt the need to close your eyes so he could kiss you. You’d melt at the feeling of his sweet, soft lips again.

But his lips didn't even graze yours.

You popped your eyelids open and heard him clear his throat. Apparently, he had stopped himself.

"Um, I'll call you tomorrow." he nodded at you, then took ahold of the doorknob, opening the door. "Goodnight, y/n."

You swallowed the lump in your throat, "Goodnight, Timmy."

As the door was shut behind him, you said to yourself, "What the fuck?"

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @tchalamss @softhecreator @ducktapebar @bitchyunknownuser @lixzey @aoi-targaryen @kpopgirlbtssvt @yukideadinside @mel-vaz @thatoneweirdgirl17 @iwishchalamet @jindongdongie @elloise0 @timotheechalametsgfnotclickbait

@rennyd26

[frickingnerd]

i hate loving you as much as i do

pairing: luka couffaine x gn!reader

summary: left heartbroken by a missunderstanding, you end up getting akumatized. but luka seeks you out and clears up any missunderstandings by confessing his love to you!

tags: angst to fluff, missunderstandings, happy ending, mentions of marinette/lukanette, luka × reader endgame, wholesome fluff

everything would've been different, if luka had been by your side, like he promised. you never would've gotten akumatized if he had been there. luka would've been able to get through to you with his words and save you. but you were all by yourself when that akuma took over your body. and nobody could prevent what was about to happen…

luka couldn't believe his own eyes when he saw you on the ladyblog, as an akumatized villain. he was late to meet you, when he got an akuma alert and checked the news. and that's when he saw you.

without even thinking about it, luka rushed to the spot you were last seen, knowing he needed to talk to you. as much as he trusted chat noir and ladybug, he knew you better than they did. they'd only hurt you by trying to restrain you. but luka was convinced that if he was there, things would be different! but he was wrong…

“you are the worst thing that happened to me, luka. why would you think your words would do anything to convince me to stop this? i despise you! acting like you care about me, just to forget all about me when she wants to see you–!”

your words were cruel and your voice was different than what luka knew. it was much deeper, almost twisted. the akuma had done more than just change your appearance.

but while your words sounded too mean to truly belong to you, something caught luka's attention. that girl you mentioned, that made him forget about you…

“do you mean marinette…?”

“ha, so you do know what i'm talking about! did you grow tired of playing dumb? of course i mean her! you're always with her! and you can't even see how much you hurt me when you're with her…”

luka's heart sunk. he never knew you were this hurt by him spending time with marinette. but there was no reason to be jealous of marinette!

“marinette is just a friend! you're the one i love!”

for a short moment, your facade seemed to crack. that mean glare on your face vanished and you looked genuinely surprised. but quickly, you grew bitter again and a sad expression covered your face, that made luka's heart ache.

“stop giving me hope. it hurts so much more than if you'd just tell me the truth…”

“it's the truth!” luka sighed. “i've been spending a lot of time with marinette recently, but she was just helping me with a song i wrote for you! i wanted it to be perfect before you heard it and i knew she'd keep it a secret…”

“l-liar… y-you… you have to be… lying–!”

you shook your head, tears streaming down your cheeks. you couldn't even look at luka, as you heard hawkmoth's voice in your head, trying to convince you all he said was a lie. that luka merely was afraid of you and wanted to weaken you with his words. but was that really true?

“please, look at me…”

you hadn't even noticed that luka had closed the distance between the two of you, gently placing a hand on your cheeks. as your eyes inevitably darted towards him, luka surprised you with a sudden kiss. and as you gave into the kiss, hawkmoth's control over you weakened…

“if my words couldn't convince you, was this kiss able to do it?”

luka looked at you with such fondness. you had said terrible things to him, had accepted hawkmoth's villainous powers and yet he looked at you with such fondness. as if there was nothing you could say or do that would make him hate you.

“i thought you didn't care about me…”

as those words left your lips, you finally regained control over yourself again. hawkmoth lost all power over you and you detransformed back into yourself, as luka quickly wrapped his arms around you. almost as if he was worried you'd slip away again if he didn't hold you close.

“i'm sorry i couldn't show you just how important you are to me. i should've never kept secrets from you, not even to surprise you. i've hurt you so much… can you forgive me?”

you only began to tear up more at luka's words.

“of course i can forgive you! but i'm the one who should be asking for forgiveness instead…”

“don't.” luka brushed it off with a smile. “there's nothing you need to apologize for. what you said earlier, those weren't your words. i know that you were just trying to push me away, because you were hurt…”

“still!” you insisted. “i'm sorry for what i said. i could never hate you. in fact, i… i love you!”

luka's thumb gently stroked your cheek, as he smiled at you. he slowly closed the distance between you, whispering out four little words, before his lips finally met yours again:

“i love you too…”

[finniestoncrane]

hey i'm here to see a movie in your wee cinema!!

i'd love to see gn!reader sit in the front row with ssktjl!boomer, watching an action movie while eating strawberry ice cream<33 (sorry if the requests are suppose to be more straightforward, i like the lil set up you have and wanted to play along heheh)

also congratulations on 2k followers!! i've been following you since the peak batman 2022 days and you're a writer i always look forward to seeing on my dash. i'd love to be entered into your commission raffle too if that's okay?? thank you for your writing, you're a real treasure<33

ah, thank you bug!! i'm glad we're growing from terrible boy to terrible boy together ;-; and of course!! 💚🩷 cw: blood, injury, hurt/comfort (physical wounds), flirting, drunk george 🔞minors dni🔞 send a request • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie2k (to follow or to block)

Usually you wouldn't answer your door in the middle of the night. And you certainly wouldn't answer it to the loud, threatening pounding that had shaken you awake. But as you approached it, nearest solid object in hand as your only weapon, you felt your body relaxing. Outside of the door you could hear George's voice, mumbling.

Drunk. Again. And no doubt making an attempt at a late night 'root' as he often put it.

But when you swung open the door, you found him slumped between two men, beaten, bruised and bloody, and filled with questions which were quickly answered by his reluctant assistants.

"Nah, you were right, he's completely wasted. Didn't stop him trying to fist fight three guys in the parking lot, though. All because they claimed that the Flash was the best one in the Justice League. He never stood a chance."

And when two patrons had decided they couldn't watch him be beat to death, regardless of how much they felt he deserved it, your address was the one he had chosen to give them.

"Great. Well, thanks. I can take him from here."

As they passed him over to you, George smiled, his mouth filled with blood that spilled over his lips as he spoke.

"Ah, see! I knew you'd be good for it, babe!"

With his arm around your shoulder, you practically carried him over to your sofa and let him slump down into it. His eyes were closed over, but he was still grinning, a wide and stupid smile that was irritatingly pulling at your heart strings.

You snapped your fingers in front of his face, calling his name until he opened his eyes and focused, very slowly, on you.

"Hey! Don't fall asleep yet. I need to make sure you're ok, first."

"Cos you like me?"

"Hm. More that I don't want a dead guy on my couch."

He laughed, snorting incredulously.

"Yeah... it's cos you like me."

The moment you began to wipe away the blood on his face, however, he made an attempt to bat you away.

"Oi! Get off, I'll be fine! I think I can take a beating without needing to be looked after, thank you very much."

George stood up from the couch and immediately stumbled over nothing, falling back down with a heavy thud.

"Come on, Harkness. Don't act like you're so tough and brave. I think you've forgotten how many times you've been on this couch in a drunken stupor. Now, stop with the machismo and let me look at you, idiot."

You took his face in your hands, and though he stubbornly wiggled at first, he calmed down as your thumb grazed across his cheekbone, your eyes focused on his as you surveyed the damage, the blooming bruises in the corners that spread to the bridge of his nose.

"You're hands... are so soft..."

He smiled at you, a genuine, gentle grin that you couldn't help but return.

"... I can think of somewhere else that might need some attention from them."

"Aw, come on."

As you stood up and turned from him, hiding your smile, you could hear him groaning.

"What? What was wrong with that? I thought you were going to look after me? Nurse? Nurse! Oi! Get back here for my sponge bath!"

[finn-writes-stuff]

How about a Percy fic with dancing like beauty and the beast ballroom with something a little saucy at the end

In The Glade

When a plan relies on you being able to dance, Percy steps up to teach you, finally tipping the tension over the edge

Percy de Rolo x Reader

Fandom: The Legend of Vox Machina/Critical Role

Format: Oneshot

Content: This is just a snippet of romantic tension. It did not end up saucy.

Gender Neutral Reader

Masterlist

I'm in love with him, that is my husband right there. Sorry that this didn't end up saucy! Mutual pining has been rotting my brain lately <3 -Finn

You were going to kill Scanlan one of these days. He had managed to find a new lead for your latest adventure, but of course, it required infiltrating a formal event and finding out secrets. Scanlan had even created the perfect plan. You could subtly interrogate a person of interest on the dance floor and no one would be any wiser! Never mind the fact that you had never learned a ballroom dance in your life. 

There was no way you could do this, you would be found out immediately, the first moment that you misstepped. Why had you agreed to this?

"You're holding yourself too stiffly, you have to let me lead or this doesn't work." 

Percy’s steady voice drew you out of your thoughts as he tapped the hard set of your shoulders, a gentle reprimand to pull your focus back to him. He had offered to teach you how to dance, a skill he still remembered from his childhood in Whitestone. He should've been the one going, but he would have been at risk of being recognized.

"It's formal, but you do need to relax a bit, love. Get out of your head," Percy continued, waiting for you to drop some of the tension. "I can practically hear the gears grinding in there."

"If I die at that party, I need you to avenge me and kill Scanlan for this plan." 

"Deal, I can do that but you aren't going to die. Just focus alright? Here, step closer, you look like a scared deer. Nerves are like blood in the water at events like that."

You obeyed, stepping closer as his hand settled on your waist. Here, in the empty glade that he had found for the two of you, there was nothing to distract you from him. From the gentle heat radiating off him or the scent of gunpowder that always clung to him and his coat. He had a unique skill of being able to settle your racing thoughts just by being near you. 

"Follow my steps without guessing what I'm going to do next. Just trust that I have you," he said, guiding you once again into the dance. He was so sure of his movements, the same way he was in combat. It was incredible to watch, even as you stumbled along with him. He stayed steady, keeping you on track. "You're doing well."

"I've stepped on your feet multiple times already."

"So long as you don't start doing it intentionally, it's fine." He was smiling at you, the teasing lilt to his tone making your thoughts go fuzzy at the edges. 

"I should, you seem too smug about being able to teach me this."

"I'm hardly smug, I just...enjoy this. It's rare to get the chance to properly dance with someone and even moreso, I enjoy your company. So this is nice." 

You could feel heat rushing to your face. It always caught you off guard when he responded honestly rather than with his usual sarcasm. Banter was easy, but this set you off balance. Percy had been doing that more and more lately. You didn't know what to make of it, but you knew your heart was flipping in your chest each time he did. 

"It's, yeah, I think it's nice too. I really like getting to spend time with you" 

Gods, that smile. A little nervous, but so terribly genuine with a splash of red across his cheeks. You could hardly think, not when he was smiling at you like that and he was holding you so close, spinning you around the glade. The trees hid you both from the rest of the world, in this sweet moment of time, as if you had just stepped into a dream. 

You had both been heading towards an inevitable conclusion, drawing closer every time you joked around the campfire at night or had the other's back in a fight. From the first time that he had grinned at you, from the first time he had heard you laugh. There was no world where you wouldn't have fallen in love with him. And here, in each other's arms, you couldn't deny it. 

"Whatever you're thinking about now, it makes you better at following the dance, you aren't overthinking it anymore."

"I've got a good teacher. Are you going to teach me how to shoot next? Or maybe show me how to make those fancy arrows." 

He laughed and it felt like your chest was full to bursting. 

"Ask me nicely when you come back from that party and I will teach you anything you want." 

"Anything? That's a dangerous promise, de Rolo."

"I trust you. Besides, I think you're too curious about my guns to ask for anything else."

"What if I did want something else? Not a lesson," you asked, gently worrying the fabric of his sleeve between your fingers. 

"Then all you need do is ask."

"What if I asked to kiss you?" 

His breath caught, and you watched how his eyes dropped to your lips for a moment, before carefully dragging back up to meet your gaze. There was an open, honest want in his eyes, mirroring your own. 

"As I said, all you need do is ask." 

"May I kiss you, Percy?"

His voice was breathless as he responded without hesitation. "Please do." 

You couldn't tell who leaned in first, who kissed who, all you knew was the feeling of his lips on yours, a calloused hand cradling your face, and how good it felt to give into it all.

[stardewstardropthoughts]

Harvey is my go to bachelor in stardew but I've been thinking...

What if you break up/divorce him and start avoiding him, but one day, you pass out in the mines (literally on the verge of death) and have to be rushed to his clinic. </3

The pure heartbreak

I'm so sorry this is written like absolute garbage because it's been so long and I genuinely might rewrite this one at some point lmao but for now I offer this 💙

Content warnings: this one's not written as well as I would like, angst, No comfort, near death, hospital stuff terribly written also, gender neutral reader, all my hospital knowledge is from grey's anatomy I'm so sorry 😂

When you almost die in the mines and Harvey has to take care of you after you broke up with him

You never gave harvey an explanation as to why you broke up with him, it was something you were dealing with on your own and you thought youd only drag him down with you so you decided to break it off with him

You had been avoiding him around town, opting to avoid your scheduled wellness checks and see a doctor in the next town, which hurt harveys feelings lowkey

He still desperately loves you, hes been blaming himself for the breakup, worried he was too clingy or too overbearing and that you felt suffocated, but you wouldnt talk to him, so he couldnt ask the questions he had

Next thing he knew it was around midnight, someone was pounding on the door to the clinic and harvey almost didnt answer, but decided it was probably important given the time and how loud they were being

Harveys immediately panicking when he sees you, looking rather lifeless in Demetrius's arms. "I found them just inside the mines like this, i dont know what happened but i thought id best bring them to you" he explained to harvey who was immediately thanking him, directing him to place you on a hospital bed

"Come on, your gonna be okay, dont die on me now sweetheart" harvey mumbles to himself as he assesses your injuries, his heart is breaking at the sight, your barely breathing, pulse slow and weak, he has to drain blood from your lungs, after many hours of work your stable, still unconscious but stable

Harvey had a whole panic attack as he sits by your bedside, he wouldnt leave you if his life deoended on it at this moment, "your going to be alright, i cant lose you again my love" he mumbles softly as he holds one of your hands gently, his eyes are puffy and red from crying

When you wake up hours later your confused and disoriented, looking around the room, your eyes land on harvey, whos looking at you nervously "you were badly injured, Demetrius carried you here" he explained softly, gently squeezing your hand "you....i know i have no right to ask you to stay out of the mines, but please, be more careful, you could have died" he manages to say through a tight knot in his throat at the thought

"Im sorry" you manage to say, though your voice is strained, harvey looks like an absolute wreck and you feel horrid "dont apologize, your alive love, thats all i could ask for" he whispers quietly as he squeezes your hand

"I...." You begin trying to explain to him why you broke up with him to begin with, but the words dont seem to want to come out of your mouth, "rest" harvey says, getting up to check your vitals and make sure your improving before leaving the room, he needs a moment to compose himself from his near continuous break down

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

Hey, Amee!! I hope you’re doing well <3

If by any chance you’re up to it, could you please write a fic about Heist Mark being super jealous of Yancy because he and Y/N clearly seem to be into each other?? I LOVE your art and writings and I couldn’t get this idea out of my head <3 (Obviously no pressure, though!)

I'm so happy to hear you enjoy my work, thank you🥺💖 and thank you for your request! it got me out of a terrible writer's block. on that note, sorry this took quite some time, I've been in a bit of a funk of on and off general creative block, and unable to finish any writing at all for even longer. this was a pretty fun challenge! I myself view Yancy platonically so I wasn't quite sure where to go with this initially, and I had to fight every urge to just make this heist mark x y/n dfsjsjsv. that said, it did end up being more heist mark-centric than maybe you intended? in which case, I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself😔 yancy is there but very briefly haha

Don't you tell me that you never even thought, 'maybe we could run'

2,603 words | Read on AO3

‘We're all gonna be rehearsing tomorrow so youse best get some sleep.’

You nod as you close the gate to yours and Mark's shared cell, stifling a yawn.

‘Goodnight, Yancy.’

You hold each other's gaze for a moment, before he turns and heads off, a tattooed hand over the back of his neck and a sweet smile still on his face. You watch as he disappears into the outer hallway and a guard appears to lock up your cell for the evening.

Your long-time accomplice and friend stands at the edge of your vision, arms folded.

‘Having fun with your new boyfriend, buddy?’ he asks, sounding unimpressed and slightly strained.

‘Oh, shush, Mark,’ you chide, but your stomach flips at the notion.

‘Yeah… Well, while you were busy playing Broadway,’ he glances to either side of the cell outside and continues in a lowered voice, ‘I've been hard at work hatching our escape. And I'm telling you, it's foolproof.’

‘Uh huh. As foolproof as your other three failed plans? I really don't wanna get thrown in solitary again.’

‘Please, that was one time! — and I don't see you bothering to come up with any ideas. Even though you pretty much got us into this mess.’

That accusation ticks you off, but you're quick to retaliate.

‘Are you seriously still hung up on that? How is this my fault? You couldn't fly a helicopter, why would you assume I can? You shouldn't have even presented it as an option!’

Your exclamation earns you a couple looks from other inmates slowly filing into their cells for the night.

‘Nevermind that now,’ Mark says, infuriatingly placatingly, ‘do you wanna hear the plan or not?’

The thread of uncertainty that you've been avoiding coils tight in your chest and you pause, wondering how to bring up what's been nagging at you for days.

‘Um, so, I've been thinking. What if… what if we don't try to escape?’

‘Ha ha. Funny joke, pal.’

‘I'm serious, Mark. We could just… stay here and wait out our sentence, if we play it safe we might even get our time reduced on good behaviour. We could be gone in like a decade. Or a few years! Maybe. Probably. Maybe.’ Wishful thinking, perhaps.

He scoffs, as if the idea isn't even worth considering.

‘There is no way you're genuinely telling me to just wait it out. Maybe you haven't noticed since you've been in la-la land lately, but we're not on vacation, we're in prison,’ Mark spouts, voice growing thick with agitation. ‘What was supposed to be the heist of a lifetime, would've set us up for decades to come, is still on the line! And we're on a bit of a time crunch here — I don't trust that warden guy one bit with the Box, or in general,’ he sneers. ‘I mean what kind of name is Murder-Slaughter? Ugh, do we even know for sure if he still has it?’

‘Yancy mentioned seeing it in his office the last time he was there, which was earlier today, so yeah, probably.’

‘Ugh, there you go again about Yancy. It's always Yancy this, Yancy that, blah blah blah, Yancy!’

‘Wh– I was just answering your question!’

‘Y'know what? I'm sick and tired of being the only one taking this seriously while you act like it's all a big party.’

He places a hand on his hip, the other poking a finger towards you as he speaks. It would be comical, if he wasn't acting like a jerk.

‘What's up with you?’

‘What's up with me? What's up with you? You seriously wanna stay in this— this shithole, ‘cause of what? Some pretty face you've known for all of like, less than two weeks??’

‘Oh my God, Mark, it's not that terrible, and Yancy is actually my friend, he's been nothing but welcoming and kind since we got here, and—’

‘Oh, did you forget that he tried to beat you up when you first met? Real interesting, how you let that little detail slip.’

‘We just got off on the wrong foot, he's really—’

It's then that you see it — something in the slight hunch in his gait, the furrow of his brow, his pursed lips and tense jaw — and you wonder why you hadn't noticed before. It's not just anger and frustration, it's something bitter and personal.

‘Mark… are you jealous?’

Bingo. His eyes only widen a sliver, for a fraction of a second, but you're so used to reading him that even the most imperceptible of reactions on his usually very expressive face have become familiar to you.

‘Psh. I'm not jealous.’

‘You so are jealous! Oh my god, you're super duper jealous,’ you say with a grin, revelling in this new information.

‘Shut up, why would I be jealous?’ he protests, trying to sound nonchalant. But it's too late. You've already seen through it.

‘Is that what this is about?’ you say with a laugh. ‘You just want my attention back or something?’

He stares blankly for a moment.

‘Are you serious right now? You actually think the only reason I'm mad is because some random dude just waltzes in and starts acting all buddy buddy with you and you fall head-over-heels,’ he jeers with his hands either side of his face, fluttering his eyelashes mockingly. ‘Hook, line and sinker.’

‘Mark—’

‘I mean, never mind your partner, right? You know, your best friend who you've known and worked with for years? Who cares what he thinks?!’

‘Mark, I—’

‘In fact, he can get punched through a wall for all you care! You won't even bat an eye, as long as there's a random spontaneous musical number immediately afterwards, it's all in good fun!’

‘Ok, that's not fair,’ you push back. ‘Of course I was worried! But I was also surrounded by violent criminals at the time, we've been over this!’

‘Oh, so they're “violent criminals” now? But they're simply “hurt, misunderstood souls” when it suits you?!’ he shoots back, making air quotes to emphasise his point.

‘They're people, Mark! They're allowed to be… multi-faceted!’

‘Lights out, everybody,’ comes a guard's voice, ringing through the hallway as it suddenly becomes dark, save for the glow of dim lamplight emanating from one or two of the other cells.

‘Whatever, let's just get some sleep,’ Mark grumbles under his breath.

‘You always do this!’ you whisper harshly, but inadvertently let the volume slip back into your voice as you feel your blood boil. ‘You try to cut things off and act like the “bigger person” just to get out of an argument that, newsflash, YOU'RE LOSING.’

‘Oh, whatever, what-f*cking-ever!’

‘You're being so damn overdramatic, Mark! It's not like I'm trying to break up our team.’

‘Yeah, well– well maybe we should!’

You don't know why it jolts you like a gunshot when he says it, but it does. His words, the force and resentment behind them, pierce you to your core. It stops any quick-fire response you had at the ready in its tracks.

Regret immediately flashes across his face, but he quickly attempts to cover it with a steely, hardened gaze. ‘Clearly, we want different things. So maybe it's for the best.’

‘Hey!’ one of the guards calls out from across the hall. ‘Lights out means quiet, you two. Don't make us separate you into different cells.’

With a frustrated huff, you reluctantly traipse off to bed, yours being the lower half of the bunk while Mark settles above you.

It really is a rather decent bed. The mattress is nothing special, but comfortable, and the soft blanket is accompanied by an oddly luxurious, fluffy pillow. Definitely above what you'd expect is probably average prison standards. Frankly, you don't know what Mark's problem is with this place. It's honestly not half bad. As far as you expect jails go, it surely could be a lot worse.

You lay back and let your breathing even out, trying your best to allow some of the bubbling anger to die down. Eventually, you hear the guards leave.

Time passes, it could be minutes or hours; it's not like the passage of time has felt right at all to you since that last heist.

It's silent, save for the sound of your breaths and Mark's above you. You're still upset with him, but the sound of him breathing nearby has always been oddly comforting. The two of you have had plenty of close calls as a pair — even times when you had to patch each other up after jobs that went particularly badly. If you got injured on a heist, you couldn't simply call an ambulance or show up at a hospital in an emergency and risk having your whole operation blown. That was simply the nature of your line of work.

At the worst of times, as long as you could hear those steady, even breaths, you could tell yourself he would pull through, and things would be fine.

You idly watch the mattress above you, letting the rhythm of your friend's breathing become a gentle white noise, and think.

You think about that heist and the Box. Ancient, coveted, mysterious. Sitting atop its perch in the museum vault, in all its glory and allure, practically asking to be stolen. The gleam of the gem encrusted in its surface. You wonder if the prize held within would be worth all of this, if you managed to get it back.

You think about Yancy, a little rough and a little troubled and not seeing much point in trying to kick old habits; but fun and soft and sensitive and full of remorse. You think about the feeling of your hand in his when you practise a routine with him, how his whole face lights up when he's excited or falls when he's sad or pensive. You think about how he has made this penitentiary into a home, and these inmates into a family.

You think about Mark. Silly, stupid, steadfast Mark, snarky and thoughtful and loyal. Who isn't actually as dumb as he lets on. Who is resourceful and quick-thinking when a plan needs to be formed. Who makes bad puns and trusts you whole-heartedly, and who always lets you decide which course of action to take, no matter how much he disagrees, simply due to his unwavering faith in you. Mark, your co-worker, your friend, your partner in crime. Who is maybe a little enamoured with you, despite you trying to ignore it. Who you half-heartedly agreed to go on a date with, not having it in you to turn him down, nor prepared for the guilt that would be eating away at you now.

You think about one of the first things he told you when you landed yourselves at Happy Trails: About how he doesn't belong here, but maybe you do. What if he were to leave and you were to stay? The thought breaks your heart a little.

Then, a whisper from above into the quiet, gently interrupting your thoughts.

‘Hey, you still awake?’

‘...Yeah.’

You hear his voice, soft-spoken, but clear enough that you can hear the sincerity laced into it.

‘I… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so worked up.’

‘Yeah, I'm sorry too,’ you reply, matching his volume.

‘And I didn't mean it,’ he says, and you think you hear the slightest tremble in the statement, almost as if he's fighting tears, and for a second you wish you could see his face, ‘what I said before, about uh, splitting up. I know I joke about that kind of thing all the time, and not coming back for you… But you know I don't really mean it, right?’

You've certainly had your doubts in the past, but those moments seem so far away now; footnotes in a slowly unfolding tale, stepping stones on the journey the pair of you have taken together as you worked your way from theft to theft to get to this point. As much as you'd butt heads over the years, you could always count on each other and you always stuck together.

‘Right?’

‘Yeah, I know…’

‘...And, alright, your lack of interest in breaking out aside, maybe I am kinda jealous.’

‘Ha! I knew it.’

‘Yeah, yeah.’ He sighs. ‘It's just… it took us a while to be like we are now and yet, you're suddenly so close to him when it hasn't even been that long, it just doesn't feel fair. I dunno, it's stupid.’

‘Nah, I get it. I'm sorry if I made you feel left behind.

‘And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel pressured into something you're actually just not all that into.’

You feel a bit of tension leave your chest as a small smile appears on your face. ‘I appreciate that.’

In some ways you're grateful for the small bed separating you and preventing you from being face to face. You think it makes this easier for both of you.

‘I don't want to lose you, y'know? I mean, we're supposed to be partners. Ride or die, remember?’

‘Oh, Mark… You know I still trust you with my life…’ You pause, considering your words. ‘For the first time in ages, things feel a little more complicated than just being about us.’

A beat, then you hear him inhale, and he says your name, foregoing any of his usual nicknames.

‘...Are you… happy here? Does he make you happy?’

‘There's things I miss about freedom, sure, but it's not so bad here. And let's face it, our crimes were probably gonna catch up to us eventually, one way or another, right? And Yancy…’ You let out the smallest huff of laughter, smiling to yourself once again. ‘You're right, it hasn't been very long… There's just something about him, I guess. I know he might be a little much at times but I enjoy being around him, and he honestly seems like he wants to make up for things he's done in the past by being here. Maybe nothing will come of this but even so, in a weird way, he kind of makes me want to do better?’

Mark breathes a good-natured huff of laughter as well, and the two of you take a moment to muse on the irony of that sentiment.

‘I just– I can't handle being stuck here,’ he finally says. ‘But you're right, nothing I've tried so far has worked, anyway.’

‘Y'know… Yancy knows all the ins and outs of this place. He could probably help us if we wanted it.’

‘Do you want it?’

Do you want to leave or stay? The real question beneath it all.

You're quiet again, and it feels as if every possibility is laid out before you, only obscured.

‘I don't know,’ you say eventually. ‘I need more time to think. I just don't want you to think I'm making a choice between you or him, there's so many other things I need to consider. That we need to consider.’

‘That's fair… Just don't take too long, ok? Not like we can pause or rewind time, haha.’

‘Right… In the meantime, could you at least try to get along with Yancy and the others? You might like them if you give them a chance.’

‘... Fine, I'll try,’ he acquiesces.

You raise a hand to your mouth to cover a yawn. A far more comfortable silence falls over the room, and you start to feel sleep overtake you.

‘... Hey, Mark?’

‘Yeah?’

‘We're still partners.’

If nothing else, you hope this will reassure him.

‘...Ok. Sweet dreams, partner.’

[sunnyie-eve]

23 | Quarantine

Series: Unexpected

Paring: (Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!) (Chris Sturniolo x OFC Brock!)

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: none

| MASTERLIST |

"Movies, Fortnite, Sleep. Movies, Fortnite, Sleep." Matt starts the vlog, "I guess we're vlogging on our own. I was told to do this. I have a pounding headache. Dani is passed out asleep. We have to quarantine together because we share a bathroom. Since her room is farther away from it, we decided she'll crash in here with me. So she doesn't have to walk through the house to get to it." Matt explains.

"All she does is sleep." He turns the camera to show her sleeping in his bed, "And pick what movies we get to watch." He turns it back to him, "When she's sick she's very stubborn. It's her way or her way for the past three days."

"That is so not true, liar." Dani mumbles slightly still waking up.

"No, it's very true, you liar." He looks over at her rolling over so she could see him. "You have taken over my room since we got sick." He adds laughing a bit.

Dani rolls her eyes at him, "Whatever."

"We'll check in with you guys tomorrow. Wish me luck." Matt turns off the camera. 

"Am I really that bad?" Dani asks cuddling his pillow.

"No, I just had to make it seem like it for fun." He turns back to his computer.

Chris: Hey

Chris: Dani

Chris: DANI

Chris: Dude, are you still sleeping?

Chris: Dani wake up

Chris: WAKE UP!

Chris: Are you awake yet?

Chris: Or are you just ignoring me?

Chris: It's okay, I get it. Suck it.

Dani: Dude, seriously?

Chris: You're alive!

Dani: I was sleeping since I feel like shit. What do you want?

Chris: Nothing just bored by myself. At least you have someone to talk to.

Dani: We hardly talk. We just watch movies in silent then go to sleep.

~ Next Day ~

"Hello, just woke up. It's almost 3:30pm." Matt holds the camera to only show him and not Dani.

"What is time anymore?" She asks not really wanting to get up.

"I don't even know what day it is. Do you know what today is?" He asks her.

"Nope."

"How are you feeling today?" He asks her.

"Like an elephant slept on top of me. I don't even want to roll over, I'm so weak." She groans curling into a ball more.

"I feel like there's a dumbbell in my head." Matt adds

"Are you gonna take a shower? So I know when I can get my things ready while you go." She turns her head to look back at him.

"I was gonna go in a few minutes but you can go first." He tells her so she gets out of bed using her phone flashlight to get clothes.

Matt was busy still taking about how he felt he didn't realize she took some of his clothes to change into. She had ran out of clothes she pit in a bag for staying in his room. She didn't expect to be there so long.

After her shower she goes back into Matt's room and he leaves to take his shower. As she lays down her phone goes off and it was Chris.

"How you feeling?" He asks in his morning voice but sees the look on her face, "Still that bad?"

"Yes, let me guess? You're feeling better?"

"Well I don't want to say yes when you feel like shit still." He watches her roll her eyes.

"I'm jealous of you." She cuddles the pillow propping her phone up.

"You don't look like death anymore that's a good thing." He lets her know giving her a smile.

"So you're saying I looked terrible before today?" She gives him a little genuine laugh.

"Yeah, you were hideous." He plays with her.

"Don't make me laugh it hurts." She tries to stop.

"I'm sorry. You weren't hideous, you have been beautiful." He laughs a bit so she flips him off.

"I'm hanging up on you." She sticks her tongue out ending the call.

Chris: Love you too

Later in the day while Matt was doing a few things in the kitchen Dani Vlogs alone, "Hello, cruel world. I feel like I'm dying. I hate how Nick and Chris are feeling better. Even though I said I feel like I'm dying it's not the worst I've felt."

As she goes to speak again her phone starts to ring, "This motherf-, won't leave me alone." She shows the camera that Chris was trying to FaceTime her. "The only person who leaves me alone is Nick. He'll text here and there but Chris constantly texts and calls me. Then I'm stuck in here with Matt, who isn't that bad but still."

"DANI!" A faint yell echos through the house.

"Did you hear that? Did the camera pick that up? That was fucking Chris screaming my name because I'm not answering him." She looks at the camera with her jaw dropped.

The bedroom door opens and Matt walks in, "What the hell was that about?" He asks her.

"Not answering his call."

"Put it on do not disturb just for him." Matt laughs going over to his computer.

~ Next Day ~

"Matt must you count your steps out loud?" She watches pace back and forth, "It's bugging me."

"I don't care." He continues.

"Who cares if they're low? You're sick." She keeps watching him, "What is your goal so I know how long you'll be." She leans back to lay down.

"Are you picking the movie tonight or me?" He asks her.

"You,"

"That's a first." He looks over at her cuddling his log pillow.

"You tell me you don't care."

"Well, we also have very different taste in movies so." He tells her.

"Yeah, I like Romcoms, Musicals, and Horror."

"Exactly, so I'm excited I get to pick a movie tonight." He smiles.

At night Matt decides what movie he wanted to watch last minute, "Tell them what we're watching." Matt turns the camera towards Dani sitting next to him in bed.

"Saltburn,"

"First note I wanna take if I ever got called a..." Matt pauses.

"Boot licker," Dani laughs.

"A boot licker," He shakes his head, "It's going down. It's going down immediately."

"Matt," Dani says his name.

"What?"

"You're a boot licker." She smiles so her pushes her head away.

As they watch the movie it gets to the bath tub scene everyone has been talking about online, "No, no." Dani whines seeing what Oliver was about to do. "The thought makes me..." Dani hides her face in her hands as he slurps up the bathwater, "Hurry up Oliver, please.

As it gets to the part Oliver gets ready to fuck Felix's grave, Dani turns her head towards Matt so she could ignore the screen. And Matt does the same turning his head towards her.

"Hi." He laughs.

"Sup."

"That's wild." He talks about the movie.

"I'm actually annoyed he's getting away with that." She tells him.

When the movie was over they give their thoughts on it, "Good movie. Crazy concept. Good movie. Crazy concept. Very strange. Pretty good though. Very strange. But pretty good." Matt gives his opinion on the movie. "And her mind is blown by it." He shows Dani just staring at him upset.

"I'm upset." She laughs, "And I don't entirely know how I feel about Ollie. He got away with all that. Yeah, the family wasn't the best but... You know what I mean."

"I'm just ready for bed. I didn't expect to see someone's junk before doing so." Matt makes Dani laugh.

"Hey, I would've enjoyed that a bit more if I wasn't watching it with you."

Matt's jaw drops, "Danielle Rae Brock!" All she does is laugh at him.

[deathstrokewilson]

OOC: Hi all, Roleplayer behind JJ and Slade here. (mentally insert Zuko meme if you so choose)

I'm feeling a bit calmer now. I was quite hurt by that anon from last night.

To explain my reaction, for anyone who is confused, I am a person. I'm sitting here on my computer or phone to have fun and write stories with others, the same as everyone else here. This is my first time trying to RP on Tumblr, and for some of you it may be your first time trying to RP at all. To which I say, I'm so glad you are! Genuinely, roleplay is a great way to make friends and to explore all sorts of stories and themes safely and supportively.

Additionally, this is my first time writing Slade. I never expected so many people to enjoy my writing, and listen, I love that he's so generally terrible, and that I seem to write him well enough that you want to rally against him, that you love to hate him, that you send love to the Dick who's agreed to be Slade's Renegade. It's sweet. It's intense. But it's supposed to be fun.

Whoever did send that anon may have just been caught up in the intensity of having Slade seem like such a big threat, and wanted to try and ding his ego, or something to that effect. I don't know their intent. But as a person writing for both my enjoyment and yours, it was like a punch to the face. It was incredibly hurtful, since firstly, I don't think I've written him that way, and secondly, that just… isn't something you send. It's a serious thing to say or imply, it can be easily twisted out of context, and shouldn't be slung around. I would also like to state that I have checked in several times with people who are either directly part of the story or were emotionally affected by it to make sure they were all right to continue. I know it's an intense character, an intense storyline. I genuinely don't want people feeling uncomfortable or scared. I want people to enjoy what I make, like any creative, in a safe and healthy way. And I also want to be happy and comfortable.

So there's that.

As such, I want to offer something to you all- a poll. I am asking you all to consider the options carefully and genuinely, and vote honestly. Please, please be honest. Because I won't be dealing with that sort of thing again. A large part of roleplay is considering both the characters and the people behind them, and how your writing can affect them. I never expected Slade to be more than a brief thing, and thanks to everyone's interactions that grew and changed. I did appreciate it, and at least up until that anon, it was fun. I would like it to be fun again. This is also to either subdue or confirm my anxiety, so I'm sorry if this seems dramatic, but it will help me. So, let's vote.

1. I continue to roleplay as Slade, the storyline that has been started continues. I request if you are not comfortable with him and this choice wins, you unfollow for your own comfort.

2. I set Slade on the high shelf for an undetermined amount of time. The storyline is cut off, blogs that were more personally involved return to more normal posting if they so choose. Until more people can learn to separate the fiction from the person behind, no more big bad villain to hate. I will only RP JJ, or other non-villainous characters.

3. I stop roleplaying here on Tumblr entirely. If for whatever reason you think I shouldn't be roleplaying here at all, and this vote wins, I'll stop. No more Slade, no more JJ, no more of my ideas. I'll also request that if you don't want me around you at all, you DM @littlefaefeather with the blogs you want me to block or unfollow.

I do intend to take this day as an RP-lite day for my own sake, but if there's anything you really want to RP or include Slade or JJ or my Robin blog in, you can still @ them for it, I'll be checking in every so often. Thanks for reading all this. 🧡💛💚💙💜

[fangirltothefullest]

Saw your post about the fandom, and wanted to stop by and say hi! It actually was nice to see that pop up on my dash, cause a lot of people are getting really negative about the waits, and I've seen it get kinda nasty. So seeing you be so genuine about enjoying it is really nice to see. I'm always open to talk about Sanders Sides, though, it's still one of my favorite things even after all this time.

ME TOO! I love it so much and I think... well as a Content Creator myself, I know how hard these past few years have been for me and I am not surprised at all that it's been hard for him and his team so I can be impatient and want more content but also... I can't be mad. A little peak into my brain coming and I apologize if that wasn't what you were looking for but-

I had to close commissions and my own patreon because I had to get a job that could actually support me, and had a TON of personal stuff happened to me and my family IRL that affected a lot of my online presence.

As a consequence I don't post art NEARLY as much as I used to and I found myself feeling EXTREMELY upset about it. I used to even livestream art, can you believe it? 8U

And I sat there worrying I'd never post art again because of the burnout and stress..... and I thought everyone who liked my stuff may leave. Because that's happened before- I was a product, a machine to pump out free stuff for people to enjoy, and when the product stopped coming, people just left. That's SO hard to face as a creator, ESPECIALLY when you are trying to GENUINELY provide your art and works pretty much for free and you're already going through traumatic stuff IRL behind the screen.

To see people getting SO angry with the content that HAS been provided hurts me more than the wait and it's not because I put the man on a pedestal it's because I humanized him. I had a shit few years and so did he. Would it have been nice for him to be like 'hey I need to go on a break for a while I'm sorry', hell yeah but I didn't either. I posted every so often about Going Through It and kicking myself privately because I could barely sketch on paper, much less muster the courage to do a digital piece, but I didn't tell people wehat I was going through until later and even then a lot of my life is private and I haven't disclosed stuff because... it's personal, it's private. Online space isn't supposed to be privy to all my secrets and stuff you know?

So when I see people nitpicking the plushie episode because it's also doubled as an ad for the toys, I want to growl and bite and hiss because it's STILL an episode with an actual PLOT; it's not like the crofters ads. FWSA, the cartoon one, is a 24 minute ASIDES video and was LITERALLY given to us during Covid when EVERYTHING ELSE was shut down. Have I Grown is an hilarious video that also somewhat recaps but less episode recap and more personal sides recaps- seeing how their current mental state is. The Wes Anderson one is literally a Season Recap episode. We got a fucking Janus Cover of an OtGW song and they're all in their casual clothes and that song is about pretending everything is ok just for a littler while and it's STILL technically plot related. WTIT is a fucking ASIDES video that's 28 minutes long AND HAS PLOT! AND THE CANON CONFIRMATION OF THE SUSPECTED ORANGE SIDE!!! Incorrect Quotes was a way for us to see them being silly and lighthearted and so is The Sides Need A Nice Day!

I just- that's a lot more content than I think people realize. Yes he has a full team but that doesn't stop the stress or the burnout, especially when half your fanbase is saying how terrible you're being not being faster.

Not to mention the bloopers and the Gavin Sides and the entire episodes of Roleslaying AND a cartoon therapy have all come out AND he was part of a few song collabs too.

I just.... I can't imagine going through the stresses I went through and how much it would hurt me to provide that much stuff and still have people angry. Do you know how much I've done since Covid? Not nearly as much in terms of BIG PROJECTS.

Sorry if this came off as a rant, I'm just so passionate about this show that I love to much! >//<

[whumpshaped]

Helle and beckett, but they are dancing (i know, crazy.)

anywho they're dancing and having some fun. genuine fun and afterwards helle feeds off beck but takes care to be gentle... Idk I thought maybe there shouldn't always be a bad time, maybe a less awful time at least

masterlist

tw vampire whumper, idle whump, intimate whumper, emotional whump, memory loss

"It is such a beautiful night tonight." Helle was jumping around on one of the classical music playlists, skipping forward, changing their mind, going back. Beck didn't know any of the pieces, but the vampire seemed very intentional. They were looking for something. "The kind that brings up memories."

"Of when you were still alive?"

They tilted their head just a little, lost in thought. They skipped another piece. "I think so. I wish I could say for sure."

Beck didn't really understand whenever they said something like this. More and more, he was beginning to think Helle barely remembered their life. And while he wasn't terribly sympathetic towards a demon like them, this thought always made him a little sad.

"What memories?" he asked gently.

"Maybe memory is the wrong word to use." They finally settled on a soft melody, one that reminded Beck of old movies and ballroom dances. "It is more of a... feeling." They turned around and extended a hand to him, paired with a smile that seemed quite genuine compared to the mocking or condescending ones he was usually given. "I can show you what I mean."

"Ah, uh..." He swallowed nervously, realising Helle was definitely asking for a dance. "I've never... um... I've never done, uh–"

They rolled their eyes, but without any real malice behind the gesture. "Yes, I figured. Lucky for you, I can lead wonderfully."

They pulled him up from the sofa despite his protests, guiding his left hand to their shoulder and taking the right one in their own. He flinched a little when they put a hand on his waist, and they murmured a soothing 'relax' in response.

"You do not have to worry about anything," they reassured him again, and really, Beck was trying not to; new situations simply weren't his strong suit.

But Helle wasn't lying when they said they could lead. It was... strange, to trust them so unconditionally. Maybe it was the fact that it was already late into the night and he was tired, but it barely took him a couple minutes to start believing that Helle wasn't about to use this opportunity to completely humiliate him in some way. It was so easy to to allow them full control over his movements.

"This is the memory," they whispered. "Dancing in the moonlight, carefree and... happy, I think. My body remembers the steps and how it felt to hold someone... But I cannot actually remember the night, nor the person I was holding."

Beck felt a pang of compassion, an emotion that always scared him when it came to Helle. He couldn't help it. The moment was so intimate, even between the two of them. He couldn't imagine what it would've been like to have shared it with someone he loved, then forget about it so completely.

"I'm sorry," he said without thinking, and it made Helle chuckle.

"For what? Whoever it was, they are most likely dead by now. It is better for me to forget."

As the piece was coming to its end, Helle stopped and changed their hold on his hand. He didn't say a thing when they slowly brought it to their lips, biting into the soft flesh on the inside of his wrist. It was almost gentle, the way they did it. Careful. As though they didn't want to break this spell of calm.

Beck was thankful that he could lean on them, and even more so for the hand still resting on his waist, steadying him. It was almost comforting. The playlist moved on as Helle fed, and the room was filled with another melancholic tune. He could've easily fallen asleep to it.

"You should get some rest," Helle said when they finished, and Beck could hardly believe his wishes were coming true. He didn't need to be told twice.

"Thank you," he said quietly before he turned to go back to his bedroom. "It was... a nice evening. And night."

"All I hear is that you want to slow dance with me every night from now on," they teased, and Beck huffed out a laugh. As if. "You are right, though," they went on, their voice taking on a more serious tone that made him stop and hear them out. "It was nice. Thank you for indulging me, dear."

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @the-cyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries @morning-star-whump @d-cs @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @tauntedoctopuses @blueyellow8green @typewrittenfangs @whumpsoda @steh-lar-uh-nuhs

[sandiavolo]

*Important Update*

Warning: long rants ahead.

Contents Ahead (skip ahead if you want, pls):

Apologies

Thank You's

Avatar 3 News

As the Ash Cloud Passes Over Update

Greetings and salutations all! I would like to start out by saying I am so so so sorry for disappearing for awhile. To put it quite simply, I have no excuses to make nor reasons to claim behind my lack in progress. I have had so much time these last two months to write, and I somehow fell into a constant cycle of procrastination and forgetfulness where I was completely aware of what I was doing. It's not that I even fell off the Avatar fandom or was busy, I'm just a terrible writer (it's natural for me to be overtly honest with myself, I swear it's not worrisome at all!) BUT I am so happy to let y'all know I've gotten back in the groove! Inspiration has hit me hard, and I feel the need to type like there's no tomorrow. Again, I am so sorry for anyone who's ask I may have missed/comment I may not have replied to/or question I left unanswered 🙏

First off, lemme just say this. @anka-partizanka-from-pandora is the SINGLE GREATEST ARTIST AND PERSON I HAVE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF WORKING WITH! Truthfully, they deserve your love, you guys! I do not care if it gets tiring or old to hear, b/c I mean it with my entire heart when I say Anka has been holding me up in times of writers block and troubles with writing. They are my partner, friend, & inspiration. I love ya, Anka 💙

I recently saw the videos and images for Avatar 3 and I just gotta say...LET'S. FREAKING. GOOOOOOOOOO!!!! The Ash Clan is sheer horror and I am already in love! The flying creatures are insanely awesome, especially the Medusa floating ship, LIKE WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?! I DON'T KNOW BUT I LOVE IT! And lastly, I'm just gonna put this out there, VARANG HAS LITERALLY STOLEN MY HEART! Sharp claws, frilled headress, a cloak of severed kurus (possibly)?! SLAY QUEEN! I genuinely don't think I will be able to root agasint her, but we'll see. And I do think I will be trying to change up a few things to include what little info we have gotten so far. It's just too good to pass up on!

I am proud to announce that As the Ash Cloud Passes Over Ch. 14 will be published very, very soon. I mean within the next few days 😁 It has been so long, so I plan to send this one off with a bang. I'm talking angst, lore, action, a sick splash of Ash Na'vi Spider, the whole she-bang! And tomorrow, there will even be a special sneak peak!

That is all I wish to say! Now, I must welcome the glorious hug of unconsciousness that is my slumber. I want to go out by saying (to whoever reads this): thank you so much 🙏 This is still a pleasure in my life, and seeing my story grow even without me means everything. But, in all facuality, you guys are my everything. I know we have had our break-ups and silent treatments, but I'll always love you guys 💙💙💙 Have a great day, grab an ice cold tea, and enjoy life y'all!

[strawberrykisseslia]

"i wish you were a boy."

☆ pairing: vanessa shelly x fem! reader

☆ part 1

☆ tw: hurt, no comfort only near the end, slight fluff, not proof read at all, the images do NOT belong to me. only the absolutely trash good fiction.♡ use of y/n once

☆ cw: 1.1k

☆ genuinely dk why it took me so long to write this but this song saved the whole small series, thank her ( no jk, im dead serious )

☆ how i love this trope. ( LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER )

☆ heavily inspired by Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan ( PLEASE I LOVE HER SM, i think this is a normal reaction to her? )

☆ yall... did i make reader toxic? now that i've come to think of it... I HOPE NOT OH MY GOD

☆ also so so sorry if it looks messy!!! i didnt write it on Tumblr but i kinda like it, thoughts? please give me thoughts about this whole thing because i'm genuinely not sure how to feel about it, would appreciate it!

It has been some time since you and Vanessa actually had a right conversation. always passing each other quickly though the house, awkward greetings here and there but nothing close to a “how are you?” or “how was your day?” nothing.

you had been thinking about moving out as fast you can but didn't really find anything good right now. especially because your work was taking more and more free time away from you. which led you to just wanting to sleep instead of doing anything.

you noticed though how vanessa stayed out longer, even on her breaks. she was really not the one who would go out even. not to stay out more than two hours.

you guessed this whole thing had an effect on her too. right? at least she was regretting it. but oh, how you craved to talk to her really again. at least she used to be your best friend. your favorite person. and you were hers. it was true.

you didn't really know but she thought of you. a LOT. at work. at the bars when she tries to numb her feelings for you. in her car on her way to somewhere. even at home, when you two are basically only some meters away.

as much as she was thinking of you she realized how much you mean to her. and how much she loves you.

at first, she didn't want to accept it. it felt weird and new to her. she was never in love with a girl before.

she knew you were hurt, deeply. but she didn't know how to cheer you up right now. she never got comforted in her life at all, of course you did comfort her. but she didn't know how to comfort someone.

though, one night something changes. she puts every confidence in her and tries to talk to you.

-

she gently knocks on your door around 10pm on a Tuesday night. you are laying in your bed all comfortable, watching some shitty tv show while eating your favorite snack. you feel your heart beat a little bit faster as you climb out of the warm and make your way to the door.

“vanessa?”

she looks down, fidgeting with the bottom of her shirt. she is almost silent for a minute.

“i am… so sorry, (y/n).” she manages to speak up. almost crying.

you sigh and look down at your feet.

“i wanna make things right between us. after all… we were once best friend?”

you nod, yet you can't forget how she said ‘i wish you were a boy.’

“vanessa…” you whisper.

“i know i messed up. it was a lot. but please, give me a second chance,” you look up at her. she is already looking at you.

“i want to be friends again— i’m sorry… but i have no feelings for you.”

you can only nod at that. you should have expected this outcome. she could never be in love with another girl. yet, there were times where you hooked up. however… you both were really drunk.

vanessa exactly knew she was lying to herself but somehow she couldn't tell you how much she loves you. even, she didn't know why. maybe it was because she always wanted to be the perfect daughter for her terrible father. you heard her cries about him so many times, you couldn't even count on your two hands. deep down in her heart, she knew she will never be enough for him, yet you told her countless times that she doesn't have to be.

“i am not too sure, vanessa… i'm sorry.” you answer to her.

“after these past weeks of us ignoring each other..,” you don't really wanna bring up the thing she said because you know, you would break down. “both of us acted childish, but it's taking it's tool out on us now,” you look down. “and i want someone who doesn't only hookups with me when they're drunk.” you say the last part much more quietly.

she nods. she is unable to speak up. her stomach flips with every second. she prepared herself for the first really, but deep down she was never prepared enough for this.

“i understand you.” after some time she manages to talk.

you don't know what's going on inside you. your stomach is walking up and down in you and your heart is loud enough for the neighbors to hear it. you don't know if you wished for vanessa to be understanding or to fight for you.

she doesn't wanna push you past your limits. she doesn't wanna make you cry again.

the fact you craved to talk to her again like old times yet here you are saying you don't wanna get close to her again.

“well, i hope everything goes good for you.” she speaks up and gets you out of your thoughts. you can hear she is about to cry depending on seconds. you only nod.

“goodnight.” she says and turns around.

“you know…,” you starts she faces you. “it's better to talk about feelings then for them to drown.”

she nods in agreement. “yes, i know…” she hesitantly reponds. deep down you know that applies for you too, but wasn't that kiss enough to tell everything to her?

-

the next week you move out. you finally found a house that you can afford and it looks exactly like how you want it to. after that, you never talked to vanessa. in fact, you even started to slowly move on and start to search for love. not always thinking about needing a relationship but if you find the right person then you'll go for them.

for vanessa… well. she thought about you too much. she missed your presence in the house so much. your voice, your smiles, your laughter, your cooking. everything.

though, after two years or so, she found love. or maybe someone who would look after her when needed someone. a man, of course. vanessa never spoke about you. tried to not think of you after her marriage yet… almost every night she thought of you. the pictures of you on her phone, she often looked through them.

in the meantime you found love too! a really sweet girl. she was your whole world. your everything. you never really thought of vanessa. maybe some times. but this girl showed you colors no one has ever.

-

sometimes you fantasize about standing in front of vanessa and telling her everything you felt when you moved out and wanted to tell her, you told her so many times how she would end up in a loveless marriage if she doesn't speak about her feelings at least a little bit more often as time went on. at least to you. someone she used to call her best friend!

still, these were meaningless little fantasies you had maybe two monthly.

only if you knew.