#I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS IT FOR YOU

[cozylittleartblog]

@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you

edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[tododeku-or-bust]

Every time I hear about the cruelty of the genocide in Palestine I'm always baffled. Not by the logistics of it. I recognize that white western supremacist leaders value money and power over brown lives. They always have. It reveals itself in every political interaction.

But I guess... The lack of humanity always stuns me. How far detached do you have to be to be okay with this? To know what you're doing and do it, not even saying "oh well it's someone else" no it's YOU! YOU are the one committing these atrocities! How do you get there? I can't fathom what greed and privilege you have to have to be okay with this. To think that this is a "necessary evil". Even those who AREN'T going to benefit from it (i.e. white liberal voters) have convinced themselves of this. How do you do that?? How do you see live action the murder of tens of thousands (with the intent of millions) and not like... That shit don't bother you? It don't... Make you question that the leadership you're under, that the world you're in, is not the way it should be??

[hannibal-is-my-comfort-show]

[rakuschan]

Just Adam learning how to chew bubblegum properly

[lesbianballofgender]

Aziraphale would be livid

[crystallizsch]

i really like how canonically yuu is genuinely supportive of grim wanting to be a great mage. if i recall correctly, even character voice lines point this out. and it seems like yuu dotes on grim a lot and defends him too??? yuu even encourages grim's ambitions whenever he declares wanting to be a great mage. and also when he does that boss-henchhuman dynamic. i mean yeah you can interpret it as yuu saying that being condescending and sarcastic as if they're talking to a child saying "when i grow up i want to be famous!" but like. i really think they're genuine when mc loves grim in their own way.

even if grim is usually a menace, he's become like family to yuu.

and i'm pretty sure grim feels the same way.

think about it this way. despite all the mess, all the unpredictability, the danger, and all the drama being in nrc. what's always the constant? yuu goes home at the end of the day to the ramshackle dorm (basically their home at this point considering they slowly but surely fix it up over time) and with who? “the great mage” grim. as the sole outcasts in that academy, they both sleep soundly knowing they will always have each other at the end of the day.

[otaku553]

Quite frankly still obsessed with the three of them

A little procrastination doodle

[shima-draws]

I’m still so mentally ill over the whole Luffy refusing to eat unless it’s Sanji’s food thing. Like. We KNOW how fucking feral over food Luffy is. He loves food and loves eating so much that he steals it off other people’s plates and out of their hands and is so impatient when it comes to meals that he’ll literally try and sneak into the kitchen to mooch before it’s ready. Or he’ll try to break into the refrigerator. I know Sanji mentioned putting a lock on it at some point bc Luffy literally wiped it clean. He will not hesitate to eat other people’s portions or literally an entire meal meant for a whole ship of people! He’s unbelievably selfish when it comes to food and that’s just SUCH a central part of his character that it’s become almost endearing. Even in Totto Land Luffy didn’t think for a second before devouring everything in sight, including an entire fucking HOUSE, regardless of the consequences or the people it might affect. Homie did not care!! He’s food driven first and foremost!!!

Until Sanji leaves him. Until he decides that eating—something that he loves and brings him comfort—isn’t WORTH it unless it’s Sanji’s food he’s eating. It’s been shown that Luffy has zero self restraint when it comes to food so the fact that he was SURROUNDED by food on all sides on a food themed island and utterly refused to partake in any of that? Even though he hates being hungry and will always make eating a priority over pretty much anything else?? The amount of willpower it must have taken for him to sit there and purposefully let himself starve, for SANJI. Even when food was offered to him conveniently (in the form of syrup rain) he stubbornly rejected that. Because it wasn’t Sanji’s food. Because it wasn’t Sanji who made it, who always puts so much thought and care into the food he makes, who always indulges Luffy and prepares extra because he knows how much Luffy eats and how much he loves to eat. Luffy literally took one of the most defining traits he has and tossed it out the window. For Sanji. I’m going to fucking blow up

[ohara-n-brown]

Am I the only one that feels like NTs HATE saying 'I don't know.'

You will not believe the amount of times I'll ask a basic objective question about a situation and they'll give me an answer, only for later the answer to be completely wrong. And then when I ask them why they would give me wrong information - they say 'I just guessed.'

I didn't ask you for your guess. I asked for the information. If you didn't have the information don't just GUESS. Say 'I don't know.'

I feel like NT don't realize that WRONG information is worse than no information.

If I want to know when an event will end and you say '5pm' - I'm going to be mentally prepared for 5pm. And if it DOESN'T end then, not only will I be out of energy, but I'll be irritated and confused because I'm in an unfamiliar situation with NO INFORMATION

Had you just told me 'I don't know what time it ends' instead of GUESSING 5, then I would've prepared for the worse. But now I have to literally rearrange everything in my head and talk myself down from meltdown cause I was given inaccurate information and also I thought I was going home.

But they act instead like saying I don't know is a moral failure.

My father used to yell at me all the time to not say 'I don't know.'

He'd always demand I figure it out and come up with SOMETHING no matter how uninformed or vague and that's how you have NTs walking around feeling like it's a crime to admit they simply don't know something

and instead they'll just shamble something together and hope that's good enough regardless of whether in the information is actually helpful or correct.

IT'S SO ANNOYING. JUST SAY YOU DON'T KNOW.

Stop guessing and giving me WRONG information because it only makes the situation worse and more confusing. Say you don't KNOW. It's FINE.

[cupothi]

happy belated valentines day everyone i am coming out as a rarepair enjoyer

[zebracakesarecopingmechanisms]

“Oh but listening to mario noises for an hour would be so annoying!”

have you ever played any mario game in your life.

[triptychofvoids]

kaffeeklatsch. une petite pause if you will. theyre gossiping for sure

[motherofoompaloompas]

Merlin genderswap au where when the gang is hiding Mordred, Merlin gets caught with him by Leon and the knights. They're all "Look! A dark haired child we have never seen before! that must be the druid boy" And Merlin panics and goes full on mama bear. "No! This is my son. I birthed him myself. Don't you dare try to execute him"

So the cover story would probably be something like when Merlin was 11/12 she got SAed by a bandit or a passing knight and gave birth to him young. She left him with Hunith when she first came to Camelot because she didn't know what to expect, but once things stabilized, she wrote home for her son to join her. It was only bad luck that he arrived the day they were looking for the druid boy.

And Mordred's just like "guess I have a mom now" and goes along with it.

Merlin takes Mordred everywhere with her including to work with Arthur. Mordred learns how to handle Arthur and do chores around the castle under Merlin's instruction. When he gets old enough, he starts training to become a knight.

He now gets to accompany his mom and Arthur. And while he is a knight of Camelot, he still has to answer to his mom. So it's just Merlin bossing him around the campsite and making him help with dinner. And he does it because it's his mom and he has been doing this stuff his whole life anyway.

The knights try to make fun of him for it but he's just like "???????? Of course I'm helping with dinner and setting up bed rolls. In fact, why aren't you?"

And Merlin is just so proud of her boy

[rattusn0rvegicus]

Okay seriously. Where are my autistic people at who HATE HATE HATE bland food, used to refuse to eat if something DIDN’T have vegetables in it, cannot comprehend for the life of them WHY the HELL other autistic people seem to prefer bland food and white bread and such when the texture of wonderbread makes them want to DIE, and start internally smashing things at the thought of food NOT being marinated, seasoned, spiced to perfection. Where are my autistic people who live for the carmelization on meats/veggies. Who would go over to friends’ houses and say they weren’t hungry when really your friends just couldn’t cook for shit and you’d rather go hungry than put something BLAND into their mouth. Ew. Ew!!!!!

[bklily]

Silver: I love and support you father, but there's a time and place for everything!!

(this is entirely based off the interaction i had with a friend who is avoiding spoilers for book 7, and when she allowed a single minor non plot spoiler we told her Lilia was confirmed bi. her reaction was hilarious)

(so you know i had to make a comic out of that lmao)