#I just barely caught her while she was out on the big lily pads in front of Kasimir

[raccoonfallsharder]

heartspur.⋆☁︎ :･꧂

a scene from cicatrix .⋆☁︎ :･꧂ pearl portrait | the runabout | rocket fanart masterlist let me love your OCs masterlist | main masterlist

only a couple chapters until rocket gets a whole new ship and i finally have this scene from chapter thirteen done. let it be known i have almost every gun in mcu-rocket's arsenal in here except like, katie and vicki. (excerpt + feather-free version below too!). now time to get back to the OC doodle queue!

He wakes up with claws already hooked, ready to rend — ribs tight, lungs heaving — teeth bared and eyes wide, darting, scraping over every shadow and bright hot light — he looks for cinders, for sparks, nostrils flared and searching for any shred of smoke — for fur, for blood, for the burnt smell of the laser pistol— “—only you and me. I’m here — it’s just me.” The voice is a caress. “Herb— Sire is far away, and so are the Recorders. It’s only you and me.” He rakes in another scorched lungful of air, and the burnt scent in his nose suddenly seems dampened, softened by clear water and dewdrops and lilies. Pearl. “Did I scratch you?” he pants. “Did I hurt you?” Her eyes are big and careful on him, shifting from his own stare toward something just a little below his left ear. Unassuming, nonthreatening. “Not at all,” she soothes, and her voice is the softest little brush along his senses. “I’m fine.” “I can’t—” he seethes, peering around the bunk. It’s still swaying recklessly on the straps that suspend it from the ceiling, and the pillow is hemorrhaging feathers: a soft spill of downy guts, scattered across the mattress between them like a silk sacrifice. He reaches out — the fabric that had been underneath her head is in slivers. “I shouldn’t frickin’—“ —be here.

Her thumbs dip below his collar and he freezes — suddenly terrified of her feeling his scars and metal bits, even though he knows she’d caught glances of them on the Arete; suddenly terrified she’ll dig her digits into his swollen, sore tissue and hurt him. But she pauses when she feels him stiffen — so quickly that it almost feels like she noticed his fear before it even rose to the surface. Then the delicate touch shifts safely back outside his shirt, coasting tenderly over his clothed shoulders and then back to his neck. His muscles stay strung-tight — cinched up under the memory of what he’d done the last time he’d had his hands on her throat — but her thumbs just stroke lingeringly along either side of his spine, then up to the base of his skull. She dips them into the fur there, below the surface layers and into his plush undercoat, rolling the pads of her thumbs carefully over the bone. It’s like she’s found a dial he hadn’t known was there. His heart and lungs are still pummeling his bones, too much momentum to slow them down — but his shoulders go molten, becoming flux under her ministrations, and his head tilts forward, suddenly too heavy to hold up. Her fingertips float to the sides of his face — light as Foresterian moonmoths brushing against his whiskers and fur — while her thumbs continue to stroke up from the nape of his neck to the crown of his skull. They rove against his head in petal-like ovals, and then slide back down again. Circs and circs before, trapped on HalfWorld, the muscles in Rocket’s neck and shoulders had been manipulated into new shapes: shortened, lengthened, split; twisted into tendons. They force himself to hold his shoulders broad and his head upright. He’s pretty sure there’s no name for any of the stuff he’s got going on in his body. But it’s here — in these strange manmade muscles between his neck and his shoulders — that pearl carefully kneads her thumbs. Her fingertips are still stretched upward, cradling his jaw like he’s— Like he’s something precious. Fragile. His breath hitches on a strangled sound. His ribs spasm upward, eyes suddenly wet and burning. “Drink,” she murmurs, gliding her thumbs deep into whatever agonized mess has been made of his trapezii. He grips the straw with his teeth, and takes a long pull of the water. It floods his mouth, cool and sweet and clear, and his eyes flicker closed — just for a second. The tears on his lower lids spill over and river into his fur. (from cicatrix .⋆☁︎ :･꧂ chapter thirteen. heartspur.)

pearl portrait | the runabout | rocket fanart masterlist let me love your OCs masterlist | main masterlist

[sysig]

I finally married she

[onlydreamofmysoul]

Wanna Be Kissed (Wolfstar)

Okay! So I’ve decided to start bringing some of my fics from Ao3 over here, mostly because I think it makes it a lil easier for people to find! Here’s the first one anyways! (Side note - any remus/sirius transferred will be wolfstar, not coops)

Sirius Black has never kissed a girl. In fact, Sirius Black has never kissed anyone, ever.

It’s not that the opportunity hadn’t presented itself, because Merlin, it had. Sirius was infamous in Hogwarts, the brooding Black boy, the first to not be sorted into Slytherin. The boy who ran away from home. The leather jacket wearing, wild haired, grey eyed mystery man.

Apparently girls were into that, if Sirius’s friends were to be trusted.

“What about Lucy Lancaster?” Peter whispered as the Marauders sat curled up in a corner, their corner, of the Gryffindor common room.

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows, looking across the room to the blonde girl in question. “The fourth year?”

Peter nodded, “Yeah, I mean, she’s only one year younger than us and she’s really pretty and smart.” He gushed.

Sirius looked over at his friend. “I think she sounds more like your kind of girl Wormy.” He said, standing up and moving to sit closer to the fire, grabbing his book off the coffee table as he went. He curled up on the cushy red sofa, but had barely opened the book to the latest page when James Potter himself flopped down next to him.

“I know there’s someone you fancy.”

Sirius didn’t look up from his book. “Do you now?” He didn’t need to look at James to know his friend was flushing a little red.

“Okay well, I don’t know.” He admitted. “But I do suspect.”

Sirius met his eyes, amused. “There’s a fair bit of a difference between knowing and suspecting Prongs. For example, I know that you’re one hundred percent head-over-heels in love with Lily Evans, but I only suspect that you were the one who put itching powder in Lucius Malfoy’s quidditch robes.”

“It wasn’t me.” James grumbled and continued when Sirius looked at him disbelievingly. “Really it wasn’t. That’s not my style… anymore.”

Sirius laughed, patting him on the shoulder. “Yeah I know, Evans wouldn’t approve.”

“Yeah but also I just think we’re a bit too mature for stuff like itching powder when our time could be much more productively dedicated to tasks such as perfecting the map.”

Both boys sighed longingly. The map, their pride and joy. It wasn’t quite perfect yet - they still had a few passages to fill in, but it was getting pretty close.

James shifted in his seat to face Sirius properly, and Sirius mirrored his movements.

“In all seriousness though Pads, you know you can talk to me, right?”

Sirius smiled at his friend in a way that he could only pray was reassuring and nodded. “Of course I know James. I promise if there was anything to know, I would tell you.”

James nodded and stood up. “Good. Okay, I’ll uh, leave you to your reading.”

James retreated back to the others and Sirius watched him go, watched him sit down next to Remus. Watched as Remus offered him a chocolate frog.

Sirius hadn’t been lying to James, unless you counted a lie of omission. There really was nothing to tell - nothing had happened per se. Nothing had happened… recently. Because Sirius Black had been in love with Remus Lupin for a long time.

Remus-motherfucking-Lupin. The bane of Sirius’s existence. The love of Sirius’s life. He had known for years. Known that the love he felt for James and Peter was very, very different to the love he felt for Remus. He didn’t imagine James kissing him. He didn’t take a deep breath whenever Peter hugged him, trying to memorise his scent. So yeah, Sirius has never kissed anyone, simply because it wouldn’t be fair. Not to anyone. Not when Sirius’s heart was no longer his own to give away.

“Pads, we’re playing exploding snap, do you wanna join?” Remus called from where they were all laughing and Sirius sighed, already standing up. He’d never been able to say no to his tawny haired friend.

“Deal me in.”

****

“Fuck!”

Sirius’s head whipped up at the sound of Remus cursing. “Moons?” He called, swinging his legs off the side of his bed and drawing back his curtains, “Are you okay?”

Remus sat on his own bed, a dripping mug in his hand. “Yeah sorry,” he grumbled. “I’m just a twat, I spilled my tea all over myself.”

Sirius but his lip laughing even as he grabbed his wand and spelled away the puddle on the floor. Remus caught the back of his t-shirt and pulled it off over his head in one swift movement that took Sirius’s breath away.

“I cast a cleaning charm.” Sirius stuttered uselessly, his eyes focused on Remus’s lightly tanned skin, the faint whisper of shining scars that moved as Remus stood up.

“I know.” Remus shrugged and Sirius just gazed at those powerful shoulders. “But I still feel it, you know? I just need a new shirt.”

Sirius nodded helplessly as Remus walked to the trunk at the end of his bed and pulled out another shirt. Sirius thanked Merlin that the other boy was faced away from him because there was no way he could disguise his gawking at the dips of Remus’s shoulder blades, the curved run of his spine. Fuck, Sirius would give anything to trace his fingers over that soft skin.

Remus tugged the shirt over his head and crawled back onto his bed leisurely. Sirius’s heart rate was anything but. Everyone assumed that Remus was super scrawny, and they had been right, at least at first. When Remus had arrived at Hogwarts, that’s exactly what he had been - a stick thin little boy with big caramel eyes. But a wonderful combination of a solid three meals a day, a growth spurt and having to stay fit in order to help him recover from his monthly adventures had resulted in Remus Lupin looking like he starred in wet dreams.

(Never mind the fact that he starred in all of Sirius’s dreams).

“G’night guys.” Peter called from behind his curtains, the rest of the Marauders chorused a sleepy response and once again, the dorm room was silent, unlike Sirius’s brain. No, his traitorous thoughts just kept thinking about what it would be like to make Remus shout ‘fuck’ again in a non-tea related incident.

(They were some pretty good thoughts).

****

“Hey Sirius.”

Sirius looked up from his breakfast to see Anna O’ Connell sliding onto the bench next to him.

“Hi?”

“There’s a trip to Hogsmeade today.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Sirius couldn’t quite decipher the look on Anna’s face at his response.

“So… are you going?” She asked, reaching forward and touching Sirius’s wrist lightly. Sirius looked over at the other Marauders who had all stopped eating to listen in.

“Yeah we’re all going.” Sirius said nodding his head at the others. “Aren’t we lads?”

Sirius could see James looking at him with wide eyes and a ‘what the hell are you doing?’ expression and Remus wasn’t looking at him at all. Peter looked nervously between Anna and Sirius for a moment before nodding. “Yeah we are.”

“Oh right, yeah okay.” Anna said, beginning to stand up. “I guess I might see you there so.”

Sirius shrugged. “I guess so.”

Anna walked away and before she was even out of hearing range, James punched his shoulder not-so-lightly. “Mate, what the hell?”

Sirius rubber his throbbing arm. “What was that for?”

“She was obviously asking you out!”

Sirius choked on his pumpkin juice. “Well apparently it wasn’t that obvious, cause I didn't know about it.”

Remus finally met his eyes, wincing slightly. “It was pretty blatant.”

Sirius sighed and slumped forward, resting his head in his hands. “Oh my god I’m so dumb.”

James nodded in agreement. “Yeah you are. But if you went after her now and just explained what happened I’m sure she’ll still go out with you.”

Sirius shook his head. “No I don’t want to go out with her. I just wish I could tell when people are asking me out. I feel like it’s probably something I should be aware of.”

Remus smirked and Sirius’s gut twisted. He loved that little twitch of the other boys lips. “Probably.”

Peter patted Sirius’s shoulder sympathetically. “Don’t worry about it Pads, I’m sure you’ll get it the next time.”

Sirius just stared down at his now-cold toast. “Yeah.” He mumbled. “Next time.”

Sirius sat down on his bed and fell back dramatically, staring up at the rafters of the dorm. His radar for girls asking him out had not improved, according to his friends a grand total of five girls approached him that week alone. He had only known one of them asked him out on a date.

(That was only because she said “Hey, wanna go on a date with me?”)

He had politely declined.

Sirius sighed and grabbed his little red ball he kept on his locker and threw it up in the air as he lay on the bed, finding the steady rise and fall soothing. Most of Gryffindor, most of the castle really, were all outdoors enjoying the first properly sunny day in a long while. He knew if he looked out the window, he could probably spot James, Peter and Remus all sitting under the oak tree they tended to frequent.

There was a knock on the door. “Sirius?” Remus asked, poking his head in.

Or maybe Sirius wouldn’t find them all outside after all.

“Hey.” Sirius said, stopping throwing the ball but not sitting up.

Remus lay down next to him. On the small bed, their shoulders were pressing together and Sirius could feel the heat radiating off the other boy.

“Why aren’t you outside?”

Sirius shrugged. “Just wanted to think I guess.”

“Will I leave you alone?”

If it had been anyone else asking? Yes, Sirius wanted to be alone. But for Remus?

“No, you can stay.”

Sirius resumed throwing the ball, every so often passing it to Remus to give him a go. They lay side by side in silence for several minutes before Remus spoke again.

“Hey Pads? Could I… ask you something?”

Sirius turned his head slightly just for a second to glance at him. “You can ask me anything.”

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Remus biting his lip for a moment as if choosing his words carefully.

“Why do you… why do you never say yes to any of those girls?”

Sirius’s heart stuttered for a moment but he took a steadying breath. “I just don’t fancy any of them.”

“But isn’t that the point of dating? To see if you could maybe fancy someone?”

Sirius laughed nervously. “I guess I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been on a date.”

Remus fiddled with the fraying cuff of his jumper. “Yeah me neither.”

They were quiet again for a moment before Remus started talking again. “Do you think you’ll ever ask one of them out?”

“The girls?”

“Yeah.”

Sirius shook his head. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because it wouldn’t be fair.”

Remus huffed our a breath. “Come on Pads, that’s a non-answer.”

Sirius rolled his eyes at the typical Remus response, but his lips twitched. “I don’t fancy girls.”

He held his breath, waiting for Remus’s response. He didn’t think it would be bad exactly - he knew his friends! He knew he could trust them, he knew they loved him but sometimes no matter how much logic dictates otherwise, a tiny inkling of doubt can creep in.

“I’m not so sure I do either.”

Sirius wasn’t sure what kind of response he was expecting but it definitely was not that. He turned his head to see Moony already staring at him. They didn’t say anything - they didn’t need to, the look that flashed between them said enough. A quiet understanding. Remus’s lips quirked and Sirius’s eyes followed the movement before they resumed speaking.

“So is there a guy you fancy?”

Fuck this was dangerous territory. But Sirius couldn’t lie, not to Remus.

“Yeah.”

This time it was Remus who rolled his eyes. “Wow that was so descriptive.”

Sirius’s eyebrow arched. “It was a yes or no question.”

Remus huffed. “Fine, fine, don’t tell me.”

Sirius bit his lip. And rolled onto his side to face Remus. The taller boy did the same. “I don’t just fancy him, I’m in love with him.”

Remus’s breathing sounded uneven. “He must be incredible if you feel that way.”

It felt like there was an elephant standing on Sirius’s chest. “Merlin yes. He’s kind and thoughtful and I could get lost in his eyes forever. He runs his fingers through his hair when he’s thinking, when he’s studying I know he bites the top of his quill even though he denies it and when he’s nervous he plays with the cuffs on his jumper and it’s so cute and I -“

Sirius cut off as Remus’s hands stilled. Hands that had been fiddling with the cuff of his jumper.

“-And he’s one of my best friends in the entire world. He’s brave and strong and the best person I know. I would do anything for him.”

Remus stared into his eyes for, Sirius couldn’t even tell how long. It could have been seconds or hours but to be frank, Sirius couldn’t give a fuck either way. Remus’s honey eyes had flecks of dark brown in them and all Sirius wanted to do was map the splash of freckles on his nose. Remus bit his lip so hard Sirius was nearly worried he’d draw blood before his eyes became steadier, more decided. Sirius watched as Remus’s chest rose unsteadily as he took a breath.

“He’d do anything for you too.”

And fuck if Sirius didn’t want to cry. Or jump around laughing. Or shout with delight from the tower. But most of all, he wanted Remus.

Cautiously, so cautiously, he reached his hand out and traced the cheekbones he had so often admired, Remus shivering lightly under his touch. His hand dropped lower as he ran his thumb over Remus’s ever so slightly parted lips, able to feel his hot breath on his skin.

“Are you ever going to kiss me or am I going to have to do it myself?”

“Merlin, I love you.” Sirius breathed before doing exactly that. He leaned down and connected their lips, at first, just a bare brush, Sirius was being so careful, waiting to see if Moony would decide that, actually no, he wouldn’t be making out with one of his best mates today, but that never happened. Instead, Remus tangled one hand in Sirius’s hair and wrapped the other tightly around his waist.

“Kiss me properly you wanker.” Remus demanded and Sirius smirked before pressing his lips against Remus’s and for a moment, that was all he knew. The world could have exploded but all Sirius would have registered was the hot force of Remus’s lips on his own, the fingers curling in his hair and the hand pressing steadily into his waist.

They pulled away gasping, Sirius looking at Remus’s swollen lips with a smug delight. He had always wondered what Remus would look like after a good snog. Now he knew.

“I love you too.” Remus said simply, cupping Sirius’s jaw in his hand and caressing thumb over Sirius’s cheekbone. Sirius’s heart just about exploded and he quickly leaned down to reconnect their lips, gasping as he felt Moony’s leg wrap tightly around his waist and he pressed himself impossibly closer.

“I love you.” He murmured against Remus’s lips. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Sirius has never kissed a girl. But he has kissed someone. The best someone in his opinion. The only someone really. Remus-motherfucking-Lupin; no longer the bane of Sirius’s existence.

(But still the love of his life).

[angstymarauder]

Arch Enemies {M.M}

Marlene McKinnon x Female!reader ; marauders era

summary: where two long-time rivals realize how thin the line between love and hate really are after an unfortunate quidditch incident.

word count: 3.4k ish

contains: angst, fluff, a heated kiss?, side of wolfstar,

a/n: i didn’t re-read it bc I'm lazy. Also if people could drop some wlw angsty harry potter recs that would be phenomenal.

· · · ∞ · · · · · · ∞ · · · · · · ∞ · · · · · · ∞ · · ·

Marlene McKinnon has been your rival since as far back in your Hogwarts years as you can remember. Always at each other’s heads. Always a competition between the two of you. Always striving to be better than the other.

The two of you made just about everything a competition. Chess Matches. Pranking. Grades. Eating. Walking. Detentions (you almost got kicked out of Hogwarts that year.)

Anything that could somehow be made competitive, you two competed. And while you tended to beat her with grades, she often beat you in things that took place outside of the classroom.

The Marauders, apparently, have been placing bets and keeping track of your wins against one another. Lily even claims that one time she walked into their room unexpectedly and caught them writing on a poster on their wall that had both your names in big letters on each side and a series of tallies below each with dates and event names on the bottom, but as soon as they saw her one of them casted a spell to make it disappear.

This year was no different. You knew it was stupid to believe that maybe, just maybe, you’d be able to try out for the quidditch team without Marlene fighting you for the same spot. You have no real desire to be on the quidditch team, quite honestly, but your older siblings play quidditch, your parents played quidditch, your aunts, your uncles, your cousins, your grandparents, your great-grandparents.

You have a quidditch family and you do not want to can not disappoint them.

The hope that Marlene may leave you alone for this one was shattered, as you expected it to be, when you walk into the team's locker room, a bag of quidditch gear in your hand. “Y/L” Marlene spoke as soon as her eyes met yours. Her eyes widened more than usual, a change most people don’t notice, but then again, you’re not most people. You know Marlene better than anyone else, you’ve memorized the meaning of every look in her eyes, every curve of her lips, every flick of her hands. You know her brain, how she works, what she is thinking, for the most part at least because right now you found yourself momentarily confused by the surprise lacing her voice. Why is she so surprised? Did she not expect you to be there? Your thoughts are cut short when the blonde standing at the other side of the room clears her throat in an attempt to reactive her favorite tone of voice when speaking to you, cockiness, “you going for the beater position too?”

“Yea,” you respond, walking over to one of the lockers.

“May the best player win,” you continued unpacking your bag, putting on the final touches to your uniform, but you didn’t need to look at her to know that she was smirking as she spoke, you could hear it clear enough in her voice.

She awaited a snarky response from you, you know that, but you didn’t want to waste your energy on a catfight right now. Your anxiety is already through the roof, there is enough pressure on you at the moment that you feel like your brain physically cannot handle any more conflict, so you ignore her.

Her eyes burn holes into your body as you continue to pull your knee pads on. Eventually, the door opens and you listen to her steps as she walks out of the locker room, closing the door with a slam and leaving you all alone.

It’s not long before you’re 100% ready for tryouts. You stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror for a moment before leaving. Taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm your nerves. Calm your mind. It helps a little bit, but maybe not enough.

· · · ∞ · · ·

“Y/L! Watch out!” is the last thing you hear before everything goes black.

The tryouts were going great, James was the captain this year and after stealing a glance at his little sheet, you could tell that you were going to beat Marlene out for this spot.

You should’ve been happier with that knowledge than you were, but somewhere deep down you almost wanted Marlene to beat you. This wasn't what you wanted and by the look in her eyes, you knew that this was what she wanted. A strange feeling arose in your chest each time she looked at you during tryouts, her eyes conveyed a message you hadn’t seen her wear yet and all you wanted to do was decode it. To understand why her eyes looked… sad? Almost. Like she knew you were going to beat her and she was upset about it. She’s never been upset before, always a team player. She took her losses as they came and just vowed to beat you next time. But for some reason… for some reason this was different.

· · · ∞ · · ·

Marlene’s Pov:

You looked so pretty. Flyaway hairs and a look of determination on your face as you swatted away Bludgers so effortlessly. She loved quidditch, but she wasn't as good as you. Jealous, not because you’ll win whatever competition the two of you are probably making out of this, but jealous because she knows she won’t get the position she’s been working her ass off for. Lost in thought she doesn't even notice the bludger coming towards her, luckily she hits it just in time, but then… Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Marlene watched as the bludger tumbled straight towards you, “Y/L! Watch out,” was all she could get in before it hit you right in the head.

· · · ∞ · · ·

The first thing you felt when you woke up was an intense pounding in your skill that caused an unconscious groan to leave your mouth. As you increasingly became aware your head began hurting more and more. You went to bring your hand up to rub your eyes in an attempt to wake yourself up when you felt another hand on yours. Opening your eyes only increased your headache, but the desire to know whose hand was holding yours overruled the pain. Their hand was soft, warm, it felt like … like home. That's the only word you could find in this pain-forsaken state to properly describe the feeling.

The blur of a person who held your hand made you think you were crazy. You found yourself blinking a few times in attempts to clear your vision, not initially trusting your eyes and barely trusting them now as you see Marlene McKinnon's hand, holding yours.

Marlene McKinnon.

Your arch-nemesis?

The one who practically hates you?

Yea… her.

What the fuck.

Why is she holding your hand… and why do you never want her to let go?

You can feel your lips curve up into an unconscious smile as you stare at the place where her hand connects with yours before roaming your eyes up to her figure to her sleeping face being held up by her other hand, elbow resting on her armchair next to your bed. She looks so peaceful, so beautiful, and you wonder why you’ve never noticed how gorgeous she was before. How her lips look so soft and her skin so smooth. The way the waning gibbous moonlight shines into the room from the large infirmary windows and lights her face up in a way you’ve never seen in before and in that moment you want nothing more than to stare at her face like that forever. You don’t even notice your other hand moving up to touch her face until you hear a voice whisper from a few beds over from yours. “Oh, you’re up.” Startled, you feel like you were just caught committing a crime and immediately pull your hand back to where it was before. Marlene shifts in her sleep from your quick movements and you’re watching this moment slip through your fingers, silently begging whatever runs the universe to let you stay in this moment just a little bit longer. Thankfully, they answer and Marlene stills, returning to her peaceful sleep. “Don’t worry, Lils says she sleeps like a log.”

You giggle at these words, turning to face Remus with a smile, “yea, she does. We can never get her up in the morning.” “It’s the same with Sirius. He never wants to wake up.” The two of you giggle quietly, afraid to wake up anyone in the castle this late at night, especially the girl sitting beside you. You talk about Remus first, asking if the full moon the night before was really that bad that Pomfrey made him stay overnight again and if he's okay. He assures you that he is fine and redirects the conversation to you, “What about you? Are you okay?”

“I don’t even know what happened to me,” you tell him, “or why my head hurts so much or why M-” you pause, now looking at the girl. You’re scared of speaking the words out loud, afraid it may reveal that her presence is only a dream or a figment of your imagination and that you will sound crazy if you speak about it.

“Or why Marlene is here, holding your hand.” Remus finishes your sentence.

“Or that.” you turn your gaze back to Remus, now wishing the moon was a little darker so your close friend can’t see the blush that is surely on your face.

“Well to answer your first questions,” started Remus, “You got hit with a bludger during tryouts, Marlene and Sirius rushed u in here while I was taking a nap - thanks for that by the way”

“Sorry” you giggled

“- and then Sirius went back to practice, as for McKinnon there, she refused to leave. I think she feels bad cause she's the one that hit you. Pomfrey said you probably have a concussion which means you can’t … well you can’t play quidditch this year.” You should be focusing on the quidditch part, it was something you were working so hard for, but you can’t stop your mind from trailing off to her. Is she only here because she feels bad? Or is there more to it? You hope it's more. You’re not sure when these feelings came to fruition, but they’re there now and you’re worried about getting your hopes up because it means risking yourself getting let down.

“I think she likes you,” you take a minute to process the werewolves' words, glancing between the blonde’s head and her hand.

“You think so?” you say with a hopeful smile.

“I think she’s liked you since first year and you’re just too oblivious to realize it,” you look up with him, your confused face causing a slight chuckle to leave his lips, “I’m observant, you know that but it's not that difficult to see how in love you two are, even though you act like you hate each other. I think she knows what she feels,” you both glanced at the girl, “and I think you just figured out what you feel.”

You smile at his words. “I think you’re right,” you admit, too tired to be stubborn and reject what your heart says is a fact.

“Just wait till January to tell everyone please, I have a bet going with the boys and- “ Suddenly the door to the infirmary opens, Remus goes quiet with confusion and Marlen begins to stir from the noise. She’s really waking up this time, you immediately close your eyes, unsure of what else to do or even say to her. You can feel her eyes on your face, her hand holding yours. “Good morning sleepyhead,” remarked Remus. You curse out his name in your head as you feel Marlene’s hand immediately rip out of yours. All you want to do is look at her face, read her mind. Was she embarrassed? Ashamed? Your mind went to the worst.

“How’s the girlfriend?” marked a new voice, Sirius. Of course. Who else would come to the infirmary this late other than Sirius to check up on Remus?

“She’s not my girlfriend.” remarked Marlene, her tone sending a brief stab of pain through your own heart, “I don’t even like her,” another stab.

“Yea, okay, and Moonys not my werewolf boyfriend.” You would’ve laughed, hearing the noises of Remus hitting Sirius in response to his words, but your mind was stuck on the words of the girl who was still standing close enough for you to feel the heat radiating off her body.

“I don’t like her,” she said, her words laced with annoyance and anger, “In fact, I hate her. We’re literally enemies.”

“Then why are you here then?” Remus rebutted, he probably meant to be helpful, but the words she spoke next only made your heart ache more.

“Because I’m not a monster! I hit her with the bludger and I felt bad. That’s it. Nothing else.” you were almost thankful when you started to hear her moving around, collecting her stuff, tears were threatening to spill out of your eyes and you didn’t want her to see. “I’m tired so I’m going, goodbye.” And with that you waited, listening to the sounds of her footsteps, getting quieter with each moment. You listened to the opening and closing of the infirmary door and only dared to open your eyes again once you could no longer hear the clicking of her shoes down the hallway.

“You okay?” Remus spoke first, witnessing the silent tears now streaming down your face. You wish you stayed asleep. You wish you never looked at her. Never let yourself feel something you knew she wouldn’t reciprocate. You curse yourself for believing Remus’ hopeful words.

“Fine,” you spoke quietly before turning to your side, the back facing the two boys who get to share the kind of romance you find yourself only able to dream about.

“M’Sorry,” you heard Remus whisper, before the weight of your head and your heart lulled you into a dreamless sleep.

· · · ∞ · · ·

You woke up to Madam Pomfrey's voice urging you awake. Her soft voice reminded you of your mother and made you want to curl up into her arms and cry, Marlene's words last night still resting their weight on your chest. “How are you this morning, love?” she asks, placing a plate of food on the bedside table, you're thankful that she doesn't mention the tear stains that probably made their home on your cheeks last night.

“M’fine,” you mumble, “better.”

“Good, good,” she smiles, handing you a glass of water that you didn’t realize how much you needed until the whole glass was gone in a minute and Madam Pomfrey had to fetch you a new one. “Took a big hit yesterday, that Miss McKinnon has a good arm.” You hum in agreeance, an attempt to not be rude to the elder in front of you, but hearing her name still hurts, the wound of her words still leaving scars on your heart that haven’t even begun to scab. “Speaking of the devil,” the nurse spoke, your head raising up to see Marlene's figure entering the curtain that surrounded your bed. Her hair looked so soft, messier than you usually see it, but you liked it. You couldn’t stop your eyes from travelling down her face, taking in her beauty while she was awake. Bags plagued her beautiful brown eyes, she didn't sleep much last night. Your gaze moved to her lips, the same lips that unknowingly cut scars along your heart mere hours ago. Memories from the night before that you had allowed yourself to forget for a moment returned as fast as they left, returning the heartache that accompanies them. Suddenly, you found the hem of your shirt more interesting, keeping your gaze and your hands on that. “I’ll leave you two alone,” spoke Madam Pomfrey, ignoring the tension-filled silence that laid in the air, “I’d like to keep you here for a little while longer but you should be discharged by dinner,” and with that she left the two of you alone, your breaking heart not even strong enough to look at her.

“Hey,” she spoke first, breaking the silence, but not moving from her spot where she stood at the end of your bed. “Sorry I hit you with a bludger,” she tried to joke, but the tension was too thick that it was just awkward.

“Why are you here?” you ask, a sudden surge of bravery coming from the anger that stems from your sadness.

“Wh-What?”

“Why are you here?” “Because I feel bad? Because I'm not a total bitch and I care about you?” she remarks.

“Why do you care?” your voice grows louder, angrier than you want it, but you’re too stubborn to stop speaking now. “I can’t play anymore, you got the spot on the team, didn’t you? “I mean you said it yourself we’re enemies, right? You hate me?” you continue, repeating her words from last night. “So isn’t this what you wanted? You won. You beat me. Congratulations.”

“So you were eavesdropping?” she asks, her tone attempting to stay angry, but her eyes revealing that look you’re slowly seeing more and more often.

“It’s not eavesdropping if I’m lying right there.”

“Merlin, y/n, I don’t hate you!”

“Liar.”

“You’re so stubborn,” she yells, getting closer to your face.

“If you don’t hate me then why would you say it?” You sat up, both your voices were raising, anger surging through the air.

“Because I don’t hate you! I love you,” she yelled, and then everything went quiet. She loves me? Only now did you realize how close your faces were. Her lips were inches from yours, your ragged breaths intermingled with one another, both of you already exhausted from your previous argument. You looked up from her lips to her eyes, just to find them already staring into yours.

“You what?” you whispered so low that only she could hear it.

“ I-” her eyes were filled with fear. Fear that her feelings won’t be reciprocated. Fear to express the vulnerable emotion that has plagued her heart for how long? You don’t know. So you move forward and capture her lips in yours.

After the initial surprise, Marlene began to kiss you back, her hands finding the back of your neck and your head while yours found her hips. You broke apart too soon for your liking and she rested her forehead on yours. One of your hands moved to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear before speaking. “I love you too.” You watched as her eyes lit up with joy and you couldn’t help but smile. “I get a point on the leaderboard for admitting it first,” she chuckled.

“Mmhm,” you hummed in agreeance leaning forward again so your lips brushed against hers as you spoke, “but I get one for kissing you first.”

“Dammit,” she whispered, before leaning in for another kiss.

· · · ∞ · · ·

“So Gryffindor Beater, huh?” you asked Marlene. The two of you laid together in the infirmary bed, her back pressed up against half of your chest, your arm hanging around her shoulder twirling and untwirling her hair with your one hand while both her hands played with the fingers of your other.

“Yea, James said it’s mine if I want it, but I don’t need to take it if you don’t want me to.”

“No, merlin no,” you said quickly, “I know how much you want that spot, I barely even wanted it. Was only doing it because with my family I felt like I had to.”

“Really?” She looked up at you hopefully, “you don't mind.”

“Nope.” “Promise?”

“Promise.” She gave her a peck on the lips before turning her head around again. “Plus, you’re going to look so hot in that uniform, I feel like I’ll be the real winner in this situation.” Your words earn a loud laugh from the girl in your arms and you feel like you're on cloud 9. You place a quick kiss on her temple and want nothing more than to be the one to make her laugh for the rest of your lives. Lives that you hopefully get to spend together.

Meanwhile…

“Told you so,” he whispered.

“I should’ve kept my mouth shut,” the second boy groaned, placing coins into the other boy's outstretched hand.

“Yea, but look how cute they are, Moony the Matchmaker.”

“Oh shut up Padfoot,” he groaned, “I’m hungry, let's go to dinner.” “Whatever you say handsome,” barked the boy before looping arms with his lover and walking away from the two girls in the infirmary who looked utterly and completely infatuated with one another.

[embrassemoi]

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 18

Pairings: Sirius B, Remus L, [F]Reader   CW: mentions of abuse, throwing up, depression, horrible coping mechanisms, implied sexual references   A/N: Read CW for this chap.

【 Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 】

Chapter 18: Love Isn’t a Magic Potion

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February 14th, 1976

There wasn’t quite another person like James Potter who knew what unrequited love felt like.

After years of harbouring feelings for Lily, making a fool of himself, his failed attempts of trying to impress her; she never seemed to take interest. Lily always sent him disgusted looks, never passing up the opportunity to call him a dirty arrogant toe-rag.

And sure, it phased him sometimes; her words cutting deep, but despite it all, James still believed in the fairytales, the sparks, the magic of true love, finding your soulmate — your better half. His parents were his main inspiration for love. Years — decades they’d been together and still, the love they held for one another, so fierce and unstoppable, it even shocked James at times.

A long time ago, when he truly understood the concept of love, he made a promise that he wouldn’t settle for anything but for the fairytales, the sparks, the magic of true love, finding his soulmate — his better half.

He wanted all of it. The good days, the bad days, the glitter and sparkles, the cheesy one-liners; long walks on the beach, nursing them back to health after they caught the flu, watching the sunsets, dancing in the rain — even the stupid petty arguments. He wanted all of it.

No matter how long it took to find them, he would; after all, everyone had their person.

Maybe that’s why he chased after Lily for so long — hoping for that romantic love — the love that’s made for movie screens — the type of love that conquered all. But he wouldn’t continue to beat on a dead horse, especially if Lily didn’t want that.

He wouldn’t force her and certainly, he wouldn’t harass her.

But, James would consider himself lucky, he found his friends — they were already his platonic soulmates and he’d go to the ends of the earth for each of them. His parents, the Marauders, Marlene, now Whiskers; he was always surrounded by only the purest amount of love.

He was never a person to cover up his emotions — hardly, that is. He wore his heart proudly on his sleeve, never once letting others dictate his life and the way that he loved. He laid himself bare, open, and there was a beauty to it that words couldn’t describe.

Love truly conquered all, whether it be romantic or platonic.

But to the women that fell in love with Sirius Black, well — there wasn’t quite another group of people like them who knew what unrequited love felt like — not even James ‘Oi, Evans!’ Potter could compare. 

Love is shit.

Love is cruel.

Love is unfair.

Sirius would go on date after date. One fleeting look and soon enough, he had women at his feet, falling for his devilish charm that captivated them in seconds.

They swooned over his chiselled jaw and thick glossy hair; eyes so mysterious with profound, moonlit mirth. The epicanthic folds highlighted his sharp and pointed look that they swore cut through them, searching through the deepest part of their souls.

He was a part or used to be a part of the oldest and most noble Pureblood families in the country. He was rich, of high status, French, could speak five languages and a mischievous bad boy straight out of your classic Muggle film.

Falling in love with Sirius Black was an easy task, so simple and it could happen in a blink of an eye. The realization would come either fast or slow depending on the poor lovesick git who let themselves fall.

But getting Sirius Black to return that affection was an impossible task.

He was raised as a gentleman and would play the part before becoming bored. They were all fillers, the people he dated.

He would admit it, he’s a bit of a dick.

He never fell in love with anyone he’s dated so far — never got past the fancying stage and even then, it was never strong. It never made him feel those butterflies that James described them as. His heart never jumped, never sped up fast, he never felt his skin heat nor did their laugh ever put him into a trance — nothing like what he described them to be like. If anything, he’d always break it off with the girls he found himself getting too comfortable with; always severing it before it became too much.

Although, it technically never was his fault that they fell in love. Most of his admirers like to daydream from afar, or they’d make a promise at the beginning — no strings attached.

Well for them, it did. It almost always ended with strings attached with Sirius holding a pair of shiny scissors at the end of fried thread.

He did not believe in the fairytales, the sparks, the magic of true love, finding your soulmate — your better half.

But that doesn't mean he didn’t want it.

But, above all, Sirius Black considered himself to be a realist. Unlike James, he couldn't — he wouldn’t let himself believe in that shit anymore. Love is disappointing and it does nothing but hurt you, nothing but a filler he used to distract himself with, no matter who it was. Love did not fix his fuck ups nor himself.

All of the adoring admirers, the ones that lined up for him, they would all leave if they caught a glimpse of the worst parts of him. The ugly, nasty parts. He used rage as a means of defence, he pushed the people he loves away, he was moody, dramatic and above all, reckless.

All they wanted was to take, use him for his body — they wouldn’t love him if they knew him. The real him: the ugly side along with the beautiful one he wore. The side that wasn’t always adventurous, daring, bold, brave… happy, go-getting.

Nobody would stay for the ugly part of him.

In that regard, Sirius was unloveable. Completely, utterly unloveable.

Currently, the uglier, caged part of Sirius re-emerged as he writhed around in his bed. Eyes moved rapidly behind eyelids, squinted in pain as he squirmed around, clutching the bed sheets tightly. His head flopped from side to side as he was unable to wake; stuck in a nightmare.

“You mudblood lover —” “Don’t call them that!” “Babies, Regulus, babies!” “It’s killing me to stay.” “CRUCI —”

Sirius woke with a jolt, choking on a strangled scream that clawed at his throat. His mind seemed to be encased in a wordless static, muting him to the noise around him as he felt the rapid, hard thumps against his chest. Distantly, he could feel his body raking in waves as the sticky, cold feeling of his sweat dripped from his temple and down the side of his face. It made his hair stick to his forehead uncomfortably yet somehow, despite the sweating and the overwhelming feeling of heat, he felt ice cold.

He swallowed thickly, sniffingly away the stinging growing behind his eyelids but failed as a few stray tears had already settled on his cheeks. Sirius looked around frantically, meeting the familiar red and gold bed sheets that were now pushed off of him as he sat upright in his bed. Red velvet drapes hung around the sides, pulled together as slivers of bright light sliced through them. It made him squint and focus on the surroundings.

Soon enough, it felt like a weight lifted off his chest, marked in unspoken forgiveness once realizing where he was.

You’re safe, his inner voice spoke firmly, It was just a dream. A dream.

“Wakey, wakey Padfoot!”

He had just enough time to wipe the freshly fallen tears away before James ripped back his curtains, jumping into his bed. He drew a deep sigh, avoiding James’ eyes and trained them to look outside.

Upon the grass and mountains, snow sprinkled on much like sugar over a cake. The distant chirping of birds could be heard singing their usual song, or more like an alarm clock, as they soared high in the sky without a worry in the world.

If only Sirius could be a bird, what a simple life he would lead.

“Fuck you,” groaned Remus, “He might be awake, but I’m not.” His eyes clenched in annoyance, throwing his blanket over his head.

“Well aren’t you lovely? Isn’t he, Sirius?”

“The loveliest,” he managed to grit out, throat groggy and dry.

“Shut up!”

“Okay, calm down big bad wolf.”

“Well,” he mocks James, his voice going an octave higher, “This big bad wolf can maul you.”

James beamed brightly, the ever morning person he was, unaffected by Moony’s response. Instead, he padded his way over to him, shaking him before Remus flipped the covers off his body, tackling him into his bed.

“Do you guys think I should cut my hair?” James managed to get out as he gasped. Remus sprawled out on top of him, pinning him in place as he was being crushed from his weight. “I want to make sure I look good for today.”

“You’re always in need of a trim,” Peter called out.

“You look fine,” Remus added, “Besides, you and scissors are not a good move right now.”

Meanwhile, Sirius’ stomach felt hollow, worry ate at his very being before he felt something rise within his throat. Quickly, swinging his legs over the edge, Sirius made his way to the loo in a rush while James and Remus were both distracted.

Peter was there, rifling through the cabinets with his toothbrush dangling from his lips. “Morning,” he said, not quite looking over to him, “Do we have any more toothpaste? I keep telling Prongs not to use so much…”

“Get out,” he managed to say before shoving Peter out of the door, closing it shut. He barely managed to cast a silencing charm before opening the lid of the toilet seat, throwing up. For the most part, Sirius gagged on air before finally attempting to collect himself, preventing hyperventilation.

Foolishly, even up until that dreaded night, Sirius had an ounce of hope. For what exactly, he wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was hope that Regulus might have turned out different, or maybe it was hope that he’d finally be accepted, even though he knew that would never be the case — never with parents like Walburga or Orion.

But every time he dared to dream, to hope, he was always quickly reminded why it hurt. Hope was dangerous, a false sense of reality — a taste of what people dreamt and chase for but could never quite grasp.

It was more addicting than any kind of alcohol he drank — or the girls — or pranks.

Eventually, he got up from the floor, jumped in the shower and followed his morning routine before wrapping a towel around himself and stepped out.

Sirius was drying his hair before catching a glimpse of himself in the large mirror in front of the sink.

Sirius had never been insecure about the way he looked. A part of him, the arrogant and narcissistic part of him knew that he looked good and he’d flaunt it. But there were times like today, where he’d look at himself, but feel as if he’s looking at a familiar face that wasn’t his — a monster reflected back.

He wondered if this is what Moony felt like.

For a moment, Sirius let his face rest, allowing the helpless, loitering fear and guilt he felt engrave its way onto the smooth surface of his skin.

The eyes looking back at him today were his father’s, his hair reminded him too much of Regulus, his high cheekbones reminded him of Walburga and the tired, slightly crazed look reminded him of Bellatrix.

A member of the Black family, that's what people saw when they first looked at Sirius, the heir of the most noble and ancient house of Black.

Sirius Orion Black.

Orion Black… Even his name made him want to cry out in rage. Another reminder.

Pushing back his wet hair, he studied the faded scar that disappeared into his hairline.

It was more apparent than ever that Sirius had scars.

But unlike James, whose scars were from happy memories of the Quidditch pitch, or Peter, whose only scars were from chopping chocolate for a fancy baking recipe — and lastly, Remus, whose scars were visible, laid out for everyone to see, Sirius’ scars were invisible.

He wore them day in and day out without anyone ever knowing.

With a blink, he drowned out his thoughts immediately; his dreams, his past, his thoughts were for another time.

He sucked in a breath, clicking the door open.

Remus was the only other person still in the dorm. He stood in front of the mirror, buttoning up his white school shirt before ducking down and grabbed his bag, shoving in books, his wand and any other loose pages of parchment that he assumed was for his little study group.

“Where’s Wormy and James?” He asked, not liking the way his voice sounded wobbly and hoarse. His eyes no longer peered up at his chap, instead looking around the room. Anywhere but his face.

Thankfully, Moony didn’t seem to notice, preoccupied with the now overflowing pile of Valentine gifts and cards on his bedside. He grew frustrated with them with every passing second as they littered his space.

“Accio bin!”

The black bin from across the room flew into Remus’ hand, quickly shoving the letters in but soon a guilty look flashed across his face.

Remus had always been too considerate about their feelings, perhaps Sirius should take a page from his book.

Sirius had a pile accumulating on the carpet beside his trunk; it seemed like more and more people every year were confessing their feelings, but this time, Remus seemed to be getting a lot more along with the rest of the Marauders. But he smiled, happy to know that Remus had been getting some action. He fucking needed it.

“Er — sorry, Pete’s off to Wood’s room to borrow their toothpaste and James —” Remus cut himself off, bringing a hand to the sides of his temples as he moved them in circular motions. “I’m pretty sure Prongs went to find Y/N. Something about finishing a sign or a song for today —”

Sirius bit back a laugh, “A song?”

“I guess he’s fucking Paul McCartney now.”

Remus passed him, disappeared into the loo, giving enough time for Sirius to get dressed.

It was his third dream that week about that night and it was wearing down on him emotionally. He was losing sleep, he wasn’t eating, he was reclining from the Marauders, he was so prone to anger; lashing out, yelling… he didn’t like how he was acting — it reminded him too much of Orion.

And the thought made him sick to his stomach. He didn’t want to be a monster.

Lost in his depressing thoughts, Remus re-entered the room. But instead of walking up to his bed, Remus halted, looking directly at him before he crossed the room, putting a protective, encouraging hand onto his shoulder. A serious and calculated look crossed his face.

“Do you need anything?” He spoke in a hushed voice, as if he were to speak any louder, the walls might hear.

Sirius felt unexpected annoyance brewing in his chest. Bloody fucking Lupin, of course he knew — using his heightened senses to sniff out his distress.

Unlike Sirius, who hid his emotions, who covered and buried even a sign of weakness, who searched for answers high and low, Remus was so blunt — clear cut with his emotions. He knew just what to say, knew what was happening before others did even if they hadn’t even spoken yet.

He wished his thought process was as clear-cut as Moony’s.

“What do you mean? I’m fine,” he said, faking nonchalance. Jokingly, he prodded Remus’ cheek with his finger, “Turning into Moomy, again?”

His friend did not smile, concern still latched on.

“You know I’m always here for —” Before he could say anything more, Sirius hastily grabbed his bag, slinging over his shoulder, bolting out of the room.

Hiding — running away from his problems — that’s what Sirius was an expert on. And like that, he switched off that part — the ugly, unloveable part of his brain for the day.

When Sirius reached the Great Hall, he wasn’t surprised when a dozen owls bombarded him with letters and chocolates. It brought a sly smile to his lips

What? He did say he was arrogant.

“Looking grand, Black,” Marlene teased as she observed the overflowing amount of cards already in his arms. She ruffled his hair as he was forced to take the seat next to L/N. Marlene turned to chat with Dorcas, who finally was back on her feet and kicking it.

“It’s not even eight and your bag is filled?!” Peter exclaimed, baffled.

A part of Sirius didn’t feel annoyed as he sat beside her. Maybe it was because his main stressor, the Black family, was out of the picture and he’d been desperately trying to control his lash outs, but Sirius was stumped. Since the break, especially after the ‘Muggle’ incident, he found himself tolerating her presence.

Just a bit.

He understood why James, Remus, Lily, Marlene; why everyone took a liking to her.

But he had an inkling as to why.

Although, his mixed feelings towards her were not helping in the slightest as he dealt with the string of recent events in his life.

She was the one that spoke first, which surprised him.

“Ugh —” Y/N fiddled with the hem of her robes, “Kettleburn wants us to switch the Puffeskin between us. I was thinking since we’re in the same house, we could keep it in one of our dorms. I was thinking about keeping it in yours.”

“Why not yours?”

“They liked to hatch in warm places. Your dorm has a fireplace, right? I remember James telling me you had one… And it would make it easier since women can go into the boy’s dorms.”

For some reason, he couldn’t stop himself — he just couldn’t. “I bet you’re trying to get off quick.”                

The accusations did not sit right with her.

For someone like Sirius, someone who dealt with the worst shit imaginable; someone who'd been beaten down, both metaphorically and literally — someone who by the textbook was supposed to curl in on himself — keep to himself, be small, avoid drama, don’t cause arguments — Sirius did anything but that. Everything he did, he made sure to cause a reaction.

“No —”

“Are we about to argue because you want to win, or is it because you want to learn?.”

“You’re so arrogant. I don’t need you for grades. Your brain probably grew twice in size when I turned you into a dog.”

“Didn’t ask.”

“Then why are you replying?”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “Very creative.”

“Do you ever just shut up?” She snaps. Her face inched closer to his.

Unbeknownst to her, for a second, a second that he’d never admit, Sirius' brain falters. They hadn’t been this close to each other since that day after Kettleburn had assigned their group project. He catches the smell of faint floral — tulips, he thinks. Or maybe vanilla? Books? Tea? He couldn’t place it.

But his heart did a funny thing. It never does a funny thing like that and it concerns him. He wasn’t sick, was he?

Silence lingers.

L/N scoffed, “Well finally, it looks like you have.”

Although, she seems completely unphased by their closeness.

“Huh, you really do shut up.”

He snorts, his brain finally working again. “You nag an awful lot.”

“Well, you —”

“Whiskers. You’re a woman, how do I look?” James asked. He came bouncing up to them across the hall from the entrance. He twirls a little, showing off his outfit. In one hand, he held a sign and a bunch of roses. “Would you fancy me?”

“Dropping hints, are we, Potter?” She smirks playfully, “Anyway, I know you nicked that from Sirius.”

Sirius looked over to him, his head nodding up and down but was surprised that she noticed the difference, “She’s right, that is mine. Maybe that’s why you look so good.” He meant for the remark to come off as a joke, but cringed as the words spewed from his mouth. He sounded like a complete arse. 

James ignores him, “I have everything planned.” Then, he holds up a sign, all in baby pink with hearts dancing across the page as a huge message declaring his affection for Emmeline was written in bold fonts. I looked fairly cheesy, but that was James for you. A romantic at heart.

“Well,” he starts, clearly happy, “Do you like it?! I’ve also got a song written!”

“Remember the last time you wrote someone a —”

Y/N kicked him, hard, under the table, which caused Sirius to look at her sharply before his face turned annoyed again. She hadn’t even glanced his way yet. She continued to calm James down, giving him a pep talk while Sirius would jump in with encouraging words.

“Of course we love it — is it for Lily or —”

James shakes his head and they both knew who he was referring to.

“— Then Emmeline will love it even more! Get the girl, Bambi!”

James smiled triumphantly, sticking his fist out for a fist bump before running off happily towards the Ravenclaw table.

“Y’know,” Y/N starts, talking to Sirius as they both watch as James gets up on the table, preparing to serenade Emmeline in front of the entire Great Hall with a guitar that vaguely looks like Remus’. “You can choose not to be a dick.”

Surprisingly, he laughed, small, but there. And then, he finds himself responding to her comments, “I beg to differ.”

“Then beg.”

Sirius’ eyes widened, feeling his mouth go dry. He bit the inside of his cheek, eyes fluttering shut a couple times. It didn’t help that she smirked at his reaction and it made Sirius feel funny. An odd swoop piddled at the base of his stomach.

“I’ll take that into consideration for later,” he settled on.

Remus and Lily waltzed into the room, both holding small cards of their own. L/N and Sirius shuffled over as much as they could to fit in with both Remus and Lily. 

A part of Sirius’ routine had started incorporating Lily doing his hair. Most often, she did pretty braids or buns — but of course, not without James pouting to him later. He only hoped that with Emmeline’s new presence, James would stop.

“Ooo la-la!” Y/N mocked, swiping one of the cards from Lily and Remus. “You two are popular.” She turned to face Lily.

“It’s n-nothing, really, “Lily stuttered, her head ducking down. But her eyes seemed to look up at her, seemingly in hope of some recognition.

“Don’t be so modest!”

“A-hem!” James’ bostal voice. His foot wobbled on the edge of the table that made them all nervous if he were to fall. He finally concluded his song. Lily looked over and smiled, glad to know that James had finally chosen a different target to annoy.

“Fuckin’ barmy,” Remus muttered out, a hand going to cover his mouth in suspense. His hand travelled down to his chin-stroking his jaw.

“Emmeline, thou beauty —”

“Oh my god,” groaned Remus again, sinking in his seat from the second embarrassment but smiling nevertheless.  

However, Marlene whopped loudly, a large grin on her face.

Lily looked over to the scene, her eyes finding their way back to L/N, Peter paled slightly at the scene, Marlene was howling in laughter along with Sirius.

But much like himself, L/N found herself laughing with them too.

Her laughter rang out, and Sirius found himself drawn to the noise. But what was worse, was that he wanted to hear it again.

And even though he knew that other women and even men were staring at him right now, ready to give him all their affection and attention, Sirius found himself unable to look away from her.

He felt his palms getting sweaty, his heart beat harder, he wanted to sit closer to her and a smile tugged at his lips but he forced it down.

Fuck.

It was almost as the realization hit him there like a thousand tidal waves.

His heart jumped, it sped up fast, he felt his skin heat and her laugh put him into a trance — everything like what James described it to feel like.

If it was what he thought it was, Sirius wasn’t quite pleased with his newfound knowledge. He already had too much shit to deal with and certainly, someone like her was not worth it.

As the thought arose, there was something else that pulled him from these thoughts; it was the very shit that Sirius was dealing with, coming to haunt him again.

Regulus entered the Great Hall and Sirius had the urge to run to the nearest bin again. He hadn’t seen him since that night.

Within seconds, Regulus sensed his gaze and their eyes locked.

He wasn’t proud of Regulus, if anything, Sirius resented him — hated him and his entire body spiked in anger as he stared at him. He chose his path. But he couldn’t help but feel immense, dreadful guilt.

He could’ve done more, been there for him more, talked to him more. There were so many possibilities, so many outcomes and Sirius managed to end up with one of the worst paths imaginable.

He both wanted to scoop him up in his arms, cry — hold onto him tight like how they used to years ago, but the other part also wanted to take a Beater’s bat and swing a Bludger at his head.

His head shook slightly, just enough for Regulus to get the hint.

There was a hard, hopeless expression on Regulus’ face as he seemed to take a sharp inhale, his shoulders slumping within every passing second.

They were from two separate worlds, more evident than ever now. They weren’t brothers, not really.

Two of the brightest stars were torn apart forevermore.

Once the bell rang, Sirius sprang out of his seat and walked down the halls. He dodged owls, letters, chocolates and even a few love potions. There was a familiar void that punched its way through Sirius’ chest.

It was too early for firewhiskey, he couldn’t get knackered, he couldn’t talk to James, not when he was this happy and getting a pack of smokes from Remus — he’d bloody know within seconds what was wrong and call a Marauder's meeting or sort out some intervention for his sanity. Besides, he needed to apologize to Peter for how he acted that morning.

So the next best thing; snogging — a quick shag.

The next girl that tossed a flirtatious wink his way, he immediately approached. She was pale, had brown hair, soft skin and he vaguely recognized her but couldn’t quite place it. They flirted, Sirius would suggest it, she smiled, nodding her head and giving out a breathless sigh as Sirius dove for her lips, walking into the nearest broom closet.

Things were fast, almost a blur. She reached down, fumbling with his buckle before it clanked to the floor; he unbuttoned her top, hoisting her up and pushing them against a wall. She let out soft whimpers and he groaned into her neck.

The sensation, the building pleasure had left as soon as it came, leaving him feeling empty once more. He peeled off the girl, checking if she was alright like every other time. He didn’t know her name, forgetting it, and smiled awkwardly as she dressed.

He watched her leave the broom closet, the door clicking softly behind her. He could hear the faint scuffle of her shoes as she skipped down the hall excitedly. She had gotten what she wanted, a piece of Sirius; the Sirius that he put out — the pretty, nicely packaged Sirius.

Bent down, sinking to the floor, rocking on the balls of his feet, arms wrapped tightly around his legs and his head resting on his knees; emotions pooled through Sirius, attacking his frail heart.

Sirius laughs; it was dry, sad, pathetic, defeated. It was hard enough to hide with smiles, pranks, the random girls, sex, but those happy hormones that he craved, it was never, ever enough.

He couldn't go on like this, he had to fix something because something else was bound to break.

His laughing became strained as the walls of his throat began to close, eyes filling with tears. But now, finally alone, he let them cascade freely as his quiet sobs echoed in the dusty closest.

Love isn’t a magic potion.

━━━━━━━━━༻✩༺━━━━━━━━━

【I hope it was clear in this chapter that in no way am I trying to romanticize Sirius's trauma】

[pregnant-piggy]

Dare

Sirius Black x reader

words: 2.5k

warnings: alcohol and making out

A/N: written for @omgrachwrites 500 followers writing challenge I wanted to write something light and easy and then this was created. This reminded me a bit of when I first started writing fanfiction and I only wrote short Sirius fics. I hope you like it!!

prompt: you’re so cute

-------

The Gryffindor common room was crowded. There were first-years at the fire, trying not to fall asleep at this late at night. Second- and third-years at the windows, doing some last-minute homework. Fourth-years watching fifth-years longingly, whether because they wanted to be with them or be them, no one knew. Sixth-years in a circle in the middle of the space, their drinks hidden from anyone who might enter the common room. The seventh-year girls sat in the corner of the room, contemplating what do to this weekend.

The only ones who were missing were the seventh-year Gryffindor boys. They were nowhere to be seen and usually that meant no good.

‘Where are the boys?’ Lily asked you. From the four girls around you she was the only one else, beside you, who had noticed the absence of your friends.

‘I haven’t seen them since dinner, ‘ you mumbled, stretching your neck to find them.

‘I don’t like this,’ Lily said. ‘James promised me he would spend the night with me. Do you think he forgot?’

‘No, I think maybe something else might have come up,’ you said, smiling at the insecurity of your friend’s new relationship. ‘It’s not like their lives are without struggles.’

‘Wouldn’t you know…’ the red-head mumbled, nudging your shoulder. ‘What happened with Sirius this afternoon?’

You blushed and shook your head. This afternoon, Sirius had pulled you with him to an empty classroom. He had shown you a letter his cousin had sent him, concerning a pureblood ball his parents were giving soon. His parents had not informed Sirius about it, but he feared he had to come. It wouldn’t be the first time that his parents would take him from school for something useless like a ball. He had just wanted to tell someone about it and you were the person he opened up to about his family the most.

‘It was nothing. He had gotten a letter from his cousin. It was nothing big, but he just needed a friend to tell it to.’

‘Right, a friend…’                                                                                  

‘Lily, stop that! Do you want to search for James?’

Together with Lily you made your apologies to the other girls and left he busy common room. The silence of the dark corridor was as a warm escape from the busyness. It wasn’t after curfew yet, but it would be soon. There were very few students out at this time. You came across a Ravenclaw prefect, Mrs. Norris and Nearly Headless Nick, who greeted you happily. When you asked if he might have seen the boys, he chuckled and told you and Lily that he had heard some noises from the old History of Magic classroom, that was out of use these days.

‘Thank you, Nicholas,’ you said and quickened your pace as you walked with your friend to the second floor.

The hallway of the classroom was colder and darker than the others. The classroom hadn’t been used for years and the only other door in the corridor was to a broom closet. There were no lights but one on the ceiling. It gave a creepy feeling, but luckily there was a small stroke of light coming from under the door of the classroom.

You approached the door and cleared your throat. With a sharp voice, that was close to McGonagall’s, you said: ‘Is anyone there? I’ll be damned if it are those annoying Gryffindors…’

Lily had to hold onto the wall to not fall from laughing as there were shuffles in the classroom and the light went out quickly. The footsteps sounded for a second and then there was silence. You chuckled and pushed the door open.

‘Accio James’ glasses,’ you whispered and from the corner of the room a pair of glasses came flying to your hand.

‘Hey!’ James protested and he appeared from nothing.

‘You really thought that that would keep you safe from McGonagall? After she had seen the light?’ you asked and threw James’ glasses back at him.

He caught them skilfully and shrugged. ‘At least she wouldn’t know who it was.’

Lily stood behind you in the doorway. She was watching James and though the smile you had brought her was still on her face, you could see she was a bit nervous. James, however, was too busy with his glasses to notice his girlfriend.

‘James, I thought you’d spend the night with Lily?’ you mumbled, piercing your eyes on him. He looked up to you and then his eyes widened, before he turned to Lily.

‘I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you meant the whole night! If I had known…’

You looked around the room as James kept making apologies to Lily, who you knew had already forgiven him at his first word. You knew the other three boys were there too, you just had to find out where. James was under the cloak, but he was holding that in his hand now, so there was no on under that anymore. A sound in the corner of the room made you turn your head.

‘Really? In the closet?’ you laughed. The door opened softly and Remus and Peter stepped out, both with slight embarrassment on their faces.

The only one left was Sirius, but before you could even turn your head to look for him, two arms were wrapped around you from behind and you were pulled into someone’s chest. The smell of cigarettes, peppermint and alcohol reached your nose and the rings on the fingers told you who it was.

‘Drinking without me?’ you asked, pretending to be hurt.

Sirius let go of you, but his arm stayed around your shoulder as he took his place next to you. Even from across the room you could sense the look Lily was giving you. You shrugged Sirius’ arm of your shoulder and lit up the room with your wand again.

‘There’s some left, if you want,’ Peter said and he pulled a bottle from behind.

‘Yes, please,’ you pleaded as you sat down in the middle of the room and Sirius sat down next to you, his knee bumping against yours. You cursed yourself for the warm feeling that spread through your body at the touch.

You wanted to bring the bottle to your lips, but you were stopped by Sirius, who took the bottle from you and smirked. ‘Can’t drink without a game, darling,’ he grinned and you groaned.

The most tense game of truth and dare you had ever played begun. The glint in Lily’s eyes and the smirk that James gave you, told you that your options were either spilling all your secrets or getting piss drunk. And you wanted neither of those.

You had a while before it was your turn. Peter did a spot-on imitation of Slughorn, James and Lily switched bottoms and Remus drank after he was asked who his favourite friend was.

Then it was Sirius’ turn.

‘Truth.’

‘Truth?’ you repeated surprised.

‘I’m not far drunk enough for a dare, sweetheart,’ Sirius said and you shivered lightly as he brought his body closer to talk to you.

‘Alright, Pads,’ James said, handing Sirius the bottle that had been full at the start but was now already half empty. He looked at his girlfriend and his eyes slid over your face before he settled on Sirius. ‘Have you ever felt more than just pure sexual attraction for someone? Do you now?’

You scoffed at the question, but managed to hide it in a cough. You watched Sirius as his eyes went from the bottle in his hands to James’ face. His eyebrows furrowed as James smiled at him. A sigh escaped his mouth before he answered.

‘I do.’

James and Lily looked at each other and now Remus joined them too. The three of them shared the same stupid smirk on their faces and even Peter gave you a peculiar look as you turned to him.

Your inside burned with curiosity. You really wanted to know who Sirius felt that for, but you also feared the answer. It could never be you and that hurt. You wanted your friend to be happy, of course, but the thought of sharing him with someone else made you want throw with stuff.

‘Okay, y/n. It’s your turn,’ James said and Sirius gave you the bottle.

‘Dare,’ you said, not wanting Lily to ask you questions that already implied too much.

‘I dare you to kiss Sirius,’ Lily said.

Your hand tightened around the bottle. This was a tricky game. If you said no, you might cause suspicion. If you said yes, you would be kissing the boy you had a crush on who was in love with someone else. What if you kissed him and he would realise how bad you wanted it? But you also didn’t want to cave for a simple dare. You knew you would never hear the end of that.

The sound the bottle made as you placed it on the floor in front of you sounded loud and clear through the classroom. It was the last sound you heard clear in your mind before it was taken over with a low buzz.

‘Fine.’

The words barely came out of your mouth and you only knew you said it because you felt them cross your lips; you didn’t hear them. Sirius turned his head surprised to you and you saw a glimmer in them. However, you didn’t stand still at it. You just wanted this to be over.

A lazy smirk played in Sirius’ lips as you leaned in to him and his hands rested on your hips. His lips were softer than you had imagined, his hair in your hands smoother and his scent less penetrant. His mouth tasted like alcohol and his skin felt soft against yours. His fingers dug into your skin as he pulled you closer to him. You tugged his hair lightly and he opened his mouth as a reflex. His tongue ticked against your still closed lips once, as if to ask for permission, and before you had realised it you had parted your lips.

You melted into the kiss. You forgot about the people around you, you forgot about the dare, about the room. You forgot what had happened just minutes earlier and you forgot your feelings. All you could focus on where the lips on yours and your breath that was getting shorter and shorter.

But as quick as you forgot about everything, so fast and hard it came back. It was as if you crashed into a wall. You pulled back without any warning and let go of Sirius’ hair. His hands were still on your hips, pulling you close while you tried to shift back. His eyes showed an expression that you had never seen before and you weren’t sure if you wanted to ever see it again; it caused your inside to heat and your stomach cramped together at the small smile that played on Sirius’ wet lips.

From the corner of your eyes you saw Lily had her hands over her mouth, James was looking at the spot where just seconds ago your and Sirius’ heads had been, Remus was grinning like a madman and Peter had his hands in front of his eyes, peaking through the space between his fingers.

Shaking your head, you pulled away from Sirius’ hands and scrabbled up. Sirius cocked an eyebrow up at your standing figure and you averted your eyes from his face.

‘Sorry,’ you whispered and left the classroom.

Your head was screaming as you walked through the empty corridors. It was late and the few people you had seen on your way earlier this night, were now all gone. You doubted even the teachers were still up.

All you heard in your mind was cursing and crying. You wanted to scream, to yell, to shout. All that left were sobs. Silent sobs that made your body shock as you dropped down on the floor next to a window. You hid your face in your knees that you pulled close to your chest.

Silence and darkness was all that filled the space around you. After a minute you felt the presence of someone close to you. Their breathing sounded softly through the air as they sat down in front of you. But you kept your eyes shut and your face hidden. You had a thought of who it was and when they talked after a few minutes, your thoughts were confirmed.

‘Why did you run away?’ Sirius asked. ‘Am I that bad a kisser?’

A watery chuckle escaped your mouth and you looked up. Sirius was looking at you in all earnest. His eyes stood sad and he was playing with the ring on his ring finger while he stared at you.

‘No, you’re not bad. Not bad at all,’ you mumbled with a smile. ‘It’s just that…’ You didn’t want to tell, you didn’t want him to cast you aside, you didn’t want to lose him. But you just couldn’t stop yourself. ‘I like you, Sirius. And you like someone else. I never should have kissed you. I’m sorry…’

It was silent for a while and then Sirius took your hand. He shifted to his knees and leaned forward, resting his forearms on your knees. You looked up to him and shuddered at the close proximity. Sirius was so close that you felt his breath on your skin and you could see his eyelashes even in the dark.

‘I don’t like someone else,’ he breathed. ‘I like you. A lot.’

For the second time that night, his lips were on yours. But this time was different. This time you didn’t forget everything, this time you sensed everything around you. You noticed the darkness around you, your heard Sirius’ breath and a bird outside, you smelled peppermint and shampoo, you tasted the faint taste of alcohol. But most importantly, you felt Sirius. You felt his lips, his tongue, his hands, his nose, his skin, his teeth. You felt every part of Sirius and you realised that you might for a long time.

You moved your knees to the side so Sirius could come closer. He placed his hands on the ground next to your bum, his thumbs touching it lightly. After he broke the kiss he stayed close, so close that his lips touched yours every time he spoke.

‘I’m sorry for not telling you,’ Sirius whispered. ‘I was scared. I have never felt like this before and I was afraid you would turn me down.’

‘What changed your mind then?’

‘That kiss. I have never kissed someone with such passion. You, my love, made me feel things I didn’t know existed.’

‘I kiss everyone like that, don’t feel too special,’ you smiled and winked before you pressed your lips against Sirius’ again. He blew a raspberry against your lips and you giggled.

‘You’re so cute,’ Sirius breathed. ‘I want you all to myself.’

‘I’m all yours.’

-----

taglist:

sirius black: @treestarrrrrrrr @bumbelbeeesblog @with1love1anu @transparentttttttttt @sirius-satellite @cheoco @figlia--della--luna @malikinglove @alwaysinmydaydreams @eateraa @bi-andready-tocry @fangirlofbooksandpasta @littlemissgothgirl @always394patronus @heavenly-ascended-melodies @mrs-moony @coldlilheart @fific7 @april-showers-and-flowers @susceptible-but-siriusexual

marauders: @secretsthathauntus @ronniethelost @sognatrice-as-a-hobby @hxrgreeves @wecouldbreakthedistance @valentina-007

general: @kitkatkl @girllety @yuptha-tsme @sleep-i-ness @iamak20 @thefuturelawyer @weasleydream @missmulti @deafgirltingz @moonstarrnghtsky @bloodblossom73 @mytreec @lilulo-12fanfiction @emmaloo21 @kashishwrites

let me know if you want to be added/removed!

MASTERLIST

[moonyswolfie]

Baby

So it took me 3 days to write this and I’m actually really happy with how it turned out. It’s 2.1k words (I wasn’t planning on writing that much, to be honest, but it happened). It can be read as a sort of sequel to Love story, but it can be read separately as well and it makes perfect sense.

I really hope you like it and my requests are always open!

Remus Lupin x reader

Summary: The full moon is tonight and, as usual, you join the boys in your Animagus form. What happens though, when you have trouble shifting?

Warnings: there are mentions of a fight and biting, but other than that none.

Missions for the Order weren’t always easy and more often than not, everyone would come back exhausted, cuts and wounds covering their bodies. It was normal though, part of your job, the duty you had for the Wizarding World.

You were pacing in front of the fireplace waiting for James and Remus to return.

The full moon would be up in a few hours and your fiancé hasn’t been himself for the last couple of days, which worried you. You knew, of course, that not every full moon affects him the same way and some might be more difficult than others, but you never minded it one bit. You were in for the long run, not just the good days.

You felt a wave of nausea take over you and rushed to the nearest bathroom. This happened more and more lately and you blamed it on the nerves. You were on edge, just as everyone working for the Order. You were at war and nothing was certain. You didn’t know if the last time you saw Remus would be the very last or if the next time you walked out the door you’d never come back.

Exiting the bathroom, you bumped into Lily, who gave you a sympathetic look.

“Again?”

“Just nerves. They’re not back yet.” you stated, yet you didn’t know who you were really trying to convince, Lily or yourself.

“I went through the same thing when I was pregnant with Harry. Maybe you should see a healer.” she shrugged and went to check on her baby, who was left in Sirius’ care.

Of course, there was a possibility. The first few times it happened, you dismissed it as food poisoning. When it didn’t seem to pass, you figured your emotions were playing you but now, you weren’t so sure anymore. You and Remus weren’t all that careful now that you were to get married, after all. You wanted a big family, you just hoped you’d live long enough to see it happening.

You decided you’d see a healer in the morning. Your priority tonight was the full moon.

*

A faint sound about an hour later stopped you in your tracks and you rushed to the entry hall to greet the boys. You let out a sigh of relief when your gaze landed on Remus, back in one piece with just a few scratches on his face, but your heart stopped when you saw James, nearly unconscious and leaning almost completely on his friend.

“What happened?” you breathed out just as Lily appeared behind you, letting out a scream of shock.

“Bloody hell, what happened?” she ran towards her husband, a few tears rolling down her cheeks.

You went to help Remus ease James onto a couch and Lily went to get the potions, ointments and bandages, all of your hearts beating erratically.

“M’alright, Lils, it’s nothing serious.” James said softly but tiredly, trying to calm his wife.

“We were ambushed. Lucius Malfoy and a few other Death Eaters appeared out of thin air and attacked us. We fought them off, but we never saw Bellatrix coming…” Remus recalled the encounter while you muttered a few healing spells.

Lily ran into the room once more, Sirius hot on her trail, both fussing now over the Potter boy. Your healing spells helped close the larger wounds on his body, but he was in no shape to join Remus tonight.

“M’sorry, Moony” he whispered, fighting off sleep.

“Don’t be stupid, James, there’s nothing to be sorry about.” Remus was quick to assure his best mate and worriedly checked the clock “however, we do need to go if we want to make it to the woods on time.”

“Will you be okay, Lils?” you asked, concerned for your friend.

“Yes, go. The rest of the Order will be back from missions and patrols soon enough, so we won’t be alone much longer. Besides, there’s not much to be done now anyway.”

You nodded and gave her a hug, before getting up and following the boys out the front door and into the woods nearby. There was little time left before the moon would rise, so you made sure to hug and kiss your fiancé and assure him that you would be right there with him and that he won’t hurt you. He never did, even during the rougher moons. His wolf was always calmer in your presence, a fact that warmed your heart every time.

You let go of Remus and took a step back. The moon was out of its cloud cover. It was time.

The young werewolf let out a scream when his bones started cracking and rearranging themselves and you winced. It pained you every time to watch his transformations and you prayed it would be over soon.

Sirius came to stand next to you, his face telling you that he felt the same way you did watching his friend go through all that. But he wasn’t alone. He had you and he had Sirius.

“It’s time.” he said, and a moment later, Padfoot was wagging his tail next to you, ready to jump in if Moony became violent. It was your turn now.

You closed your eyes and thought of your animal form, repeating the incantation in your mind and –

Nothing.

No, that can’t be right.

You repeated the process two more times, and still, nothing happened. That’s when you started panicking. This has never happened before, what were you doing wrong?

A low growl made you freeze on the spot. You’ve never been afraid of Remus before and you certainly weren’t now, but the prospect of being human and facing Moony? That terrified you.

You backed away a few steps very slowly, trying your best to go unnoticed by the wolf, but it was no use, since his attention was directed towards you. Padfoot stepped in front of you in a heartbeat, but that only angered the wolf more and he jumped, landing on Sirius and biting him instantly.

You wanted to get between the two and push them apart, growl at Moony for attacking his best friend, but you were human and that made you feel useless. Your lover was attacking your friend and you couldn’t do anything about it!

As if sensing your emotions change, Moony stopped, getting off Padfoot’s inert body and faced you, heading almost cautiously in your direction. You moved backwards until your foot caught on a tree root and you fell unceremoniously to the ground. The wolf approached you, his eyes staring directly into your own. When he got within touching range, he took a long sniff before nuzzling into your stomach.

You were shocked, to say the least. You were expecting Moony to attack you , see you as a threat. Instead, the werewolf seemed almost…careful? Loving? You couldn’t quite place it.

You’ve read every book on werewolves you could find in the library during your school days and every one said the same thing – werewolves are murderous creatures and when affected by the full moon, they wouldn’t be able to distinguish friend from foe. They could kill their loved ones in a heartbeat without a glimmer of remorse.

So why was Moony so tame all of a sudden?

The short interaction lasted long enough for Sirius to regain consciousness and move towards the two of you, wanting to keep you safe at all costs. You’d barely had time to scream “stop” before Moony snarled in warning. Your voice halted Sirius in his tracks, yet you could see him itching to move forward.

The conversation you’d had with Lily a few hours prior passed suddenly through your brain.

I went through the same thing when I was pregnant.

You dismissed it for as long as you could, but there was your confirmation: Moony was making sure Padfoot wouldn’t get anywhere near you (and the baby he was probably scenting), for he marked the two of you as his own. And if you did know something about wolves, it was that they were very territorial, especially about their mates and cubs.

You were happy, truly. Ever since Harry was born, you and Remus wanted a little bundle of joy of your own, and now you had it.

You didn’t know, however, how it would affect your shifting.

“I’m alright, Pads. He won’t hurt me.” you said reassuringly.

Padfoot cocked his head to the side, doubt clear in his actions.

“He won’t hurt me, I’m sure of it. You can go back to the headquarters and have Lily tend to your wounds. I’m really sorry you got hurt tonight because of me, Sirius.” you whispered the last part, sadness coating your voice as a tear rolled down your cheek.

You looked up when you heard a scoff, just in time to see Sirius shift back to his human form. Moony tensed near you, ready to attack the intruder, but relaxed the instant you wrapped your arms around his body.

“S’alright, Moony. He’s a friend. He won’t hurt us, I promise.”

Still watching Sirius, Moony settled his huge body down with his head resting on your lap. You couldn’t help but smile at his actions.

“Don’t be daft, Y/N, I’m not going anywhere. But would you care to explain this?” Sirius gave you a bemused smile, pointing to the wolf cozying up into your tummy.

You let out a small laugh “I uh – I think I might be pregnant. It’s why I can’t turn…or at least I hope it is.” you said, still not quite wrapping your mind around it yourself.

Sirius broke into a huge grin “Congratulations! About time it happened” he finished with a small smirk, for which you stuck your tongue out at him.

He laughed and sat down, resting his back on a tree trunk, while Moony fell asleep, lulled by your addicting scent.

*

The morning sun was up in the sky and your fiancé was helping you clean and patch up Sirius’ wounds from the night before. He felt guilty and ashamed about his behavior even though his friend assured him it was all good. Werewolves are often unpredictable and you were all well aware of that when you decided to become Animagi to help him during the full moons.

He didn’t remember much from the hours he spent as a wolf and you hadn’t had a chance to tell him the news (which a healer confirmed for you first thing in the morning).

When you were done, you let Sirius rest and dragged Remus out of the room, in search of a more secluded space where you could talk without being overheard, as almost all of the Order members were currently at the headquarters.

“We need to talk.” you said, trying to keep a straight face, but a small smile was playing on your lips.

“What’s wrong, darling? Did I hurt you too last night? You – you didn’t say anything…” he asked, alarm taking over his entire body at the mere mention of you being hurt by him.

“You didn’t, Remus. I’m alright, more than alright, actually.” you said and took his hand in yours. “I’m pregnant, my love.”

You watched his face go through many emotions before settling on one: shock, disbelief, excitement and finally, pure happiness.

“We’re having a baby!” his arms enveloped your body as he buried his face in your neck.

“We are. That is why you acted out last night and attacked Sirius. It wasn’t your fault and he knows it, he doesn’t blame you. Please, stop feeling guilty about it.” you pleaded with him, hoping it would help him forgive himself.

He took a step back and seemed to be considering it. Tears of happiness were trailing down his cheeks, until his face took on a serious note.

“What if my condition will pass on to the baby?

“Then we’ll deal with it when the time comes.” you replied with confidence.

“Thank you, my love. You’ve made me the happiest man!” he pulled you closer and kissed your forehead, cheeks, nose and finally, he pressed a passionate kiss on your lips.

You giggled when he pulled away “I’m pretty sure it was a team effort, Remus.” He blushed which made you laugh harder and he joined in, before the two of you were interrupted by your nosy friends.

“Have you decided on the godparents yet?” you heard James ask from behind you before Lily hit his arm. “Ouch, what?”

“Why don’t we wait for Padfoot to wake up before we have this conversation? He’ll be very cross if he finds out we decided without him.” Remus suggested.

“Oh, there’s no need, I’m right here! Did someone say godparents?” Sirius shouted from around the corner which made the four of you laugh and shake your heads.

[jobrookekarev]

Fireworks and Family

Chapter One of One

Words: 2770

Summary: Alex and Jo spend the 4th on Lake Union with their daughters watching the fireworks.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson and Atticus Lincoln/Amelia Shepherd. 

Characters: Alex Karev, Jo Wilson, Meredith Grey, Maggie Pierce, Amelia Shepherd, Atticus Lincoln, Zola Grey Shepherd, Derek Bailey Shepherd, Ellis Shepherd, Scout Shepherd Lincoln, Luna Ashton-Wilson.

Rating: General Audiences, Teen And Up Audiences, 

Additional Tags: Fluff, Kids, Babies, Boating, Swimming, Toddlers, Fireworks, and the 4th of July.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

……………………………………………………………………

Alex Karev would be the first to admit that he wasn't the most patriotic guy. He had seen the worst of American in way more times than he could count, especially the white supremacy, the genocide against the natives, everything else that they left out of the history books. Especially with the healthcare system, and the politics in the last four years. 

However, he had to admit he did enjoy the 4th of July celebrations such as family, fun, and fireworks. Hence the early-morning trip up to Tulalip from Boom City fireworks on the Tulalip Reservation. It not only supported the Tulalip tribe, but they had the best fireworks in Washington State. Alex walked in between the rows of firework stands with his haul of fireworks in one hand and six-month-old Helena in the moby strapped to his chest. 

He hadn't got as much as they usually did in the past years as the heatwave the past weekend had made local conditions perfect for a wildfire, but they had gotten a few sparklers, smoke bombs, others but no aerials. 

As he walked out of the hall of stands, he spotted his wife standing next to the bouncy house with Link and Amelia. She had Luna in her arms and was gently swaying back and forth, no doubt attempting to get their daughter to take her morning nap. However, the second she saw him, she wiggled out of Jo’s arms and ran over to him. Alex smiled as he caught her and put the backpack he got on her shoulders.

“Mama, ack ack,” Luna called out, trying to say backpack before Alex could stop her as she got Jo's attention. 

Jo looked at him, raising one eyebrow as she silently asked if he had done the one thing she had asked him not to do. Buy Luna a brat pack fireworks backpack, which of course, he had. Luna wiggled out of his arms, and Alex set her down as she ran over to Jo, proudly showing off her new backpack. 

“Alex,” Jo said, clearly using the mom voice that she had perfected so much since they got their girls. “You gave our fifteen-month-old a backpack full of fireworks.”

Link and Amelia said nothing as they were suddenly very interested in the bounce house with Scout. Jo reached down to take the backpack off Luna's shoulders, only for her to shriek and pull away as she ran back over to Alex. He crouched down to pick her up again. 

“No, of course not. I took the fireworks out before I gave her the backpack,” Alex said, showing her the empty plastic backpack. 

Jo let out a sigh as she rubbed her forehead before she pulled Helena out of the baby carrier. Luna quickly spotted Scout jumping on the bounce house with Amelia and insisted Alex let her jump too.

“You guys get anything good,” Link asked after Alex put her on the bounce house and set the fireworks on the bench next to them. 

“Yeah, we got a couple of things,” Alex said as he and Link went through the fireworks. 

They let the kids jump for a little while and Alex went over to Jo, who still glared at him as she nursed Helena. He leaned in to kiss her lips and her grumpy look instantly faded away. He wrapped his arms around her waist and looked down at Helena as she nursed on Jo’s breast, but he had eyes only for her mama, although they soon dropped as she fell asleep. She didn't nurse for much longer, and after she finished, Jo handed her to Alex so he could burp her.

Jo had no qualms about publicly breastfeeding and Alex fully supported his wife. Plus, it increased his chance of seeing her boobs, and he couldn't help but watch her as she pulled her bra back in place and pulled her top back down. Once she was finished, Jo caught him staring and rolled his eyes. 

“You too, I swear,” Jo said, referring to her husband and her daughter’s obsession with her boobs.

“What we need them to survive,” Alex said, looking down at Helena, who also stared at Jo’s chest. “Isn't that right, Lena?”

Helen only gurgled and finally burped before Alex moved to cradle her in his arms and rock back and forth. He pulled out a pacifier that he always had on him these days, and with a little rocking, Helena was out like a light. They let Scout and Luna jump in the bounce house for a little bit more before they got their fireworks to the car and headed back down to Seattle. 

……………………………………………………………………

After everyone's afternoon nap, the Karev family met up with Meredith, Jackson, and Amelia, and the rest of their Grey-Sloan family on Jackson's new boat. It was smaller than the yacht he had gotten a couple of years ago, but it was still great for a perfect day on Lake Union. They set up a good location and pulled out the Lily pad and the drinks for some boat and water fun. 

“Hey,” Jo said, catching his attention from where his eyes had drawn down to the top of her black sundress, it matched the one Helena was wearing, but Luna had opted for her long-sleeved pink mermaid swimsuit. While Alex was in his blue swim shorts. 

Jo took Helen from him and put her on her hip while she held onto the strap of Luna’s life jacket, preventing the toddler from walking away. “So I'm going to spend the first half of the day with you and the kids. You can go swim and have fun, and then after dinner, I'm going to get really drunk, and you're going to drive us home.” 

“Okay,” Alex said, a smile spreading across his face at the thought of seeing his drunk wife.

Since she was breastfeeding, Jo often chose not to drink and had never asked him to limit his drinks, but when she did decide to drink, he was happy to watch the girls and be the designated driver. 

“Great,” Jo said as she leaned in to give him a kiss before she went to talk to Ben and Bailey.

“Dada,” Luna said, pushing on his legs as she assumed her strength was enough to push him in the water.

“Yes, ma'am, into the water we go,” Alex said before he picked her up and walked over to the back of the boat. 

The older kids, including Meredith kids, as well as Jackson and Harriet, Hayes' boys, and Joey and Tucker, we're all playing king/queen of the lily pad. Ellis had declared herself queen as she pushed off Austin before he could even defend himself against the pint-sized blonde.

Alex sat Luna down on the deck on the end of the boat before he slid into the water. He turned around to watch her as she eagerly bounced up and down, getting ready to jump before he led out his hands to her. “Okay, Luna, jump to Daddy.”

Luna let out an excited screech as she immediately jumped in. Alex scooped her up and held her close as they swam over to the lily pad. Luna had loved the water ever since she was an infant and they had her in swim lessons since she was a year old. She didn't quite swim on her own, but she loved the water, and Alex held her close to him as he hopped on the lily pad, now that the game was over. 

Ellis and Zola immediately took the two of them over to play with them making sure that she was included in the older kids’ games. Alex and Jackson played with the kids as they started sliding off the lily pad. He loved being an uncle to the older kids and playing with them rather than just watching from the sidelines. Especially when he got to toss Bailey and Ellis into the water as they shrieked with laughter. 

He sat on the pad with Luna and threw her up in the air again before he caught the laughter of his wife. He looked over to see her perched on the side of the boat, dipping her legs in the water with Helena in her lap. Jo didn't know how to swim. No one taught her when she was younger and she was too busy with school to learn when she was older. Alex had offered to teach her how to swim, but they hadn’t found time between their busy work and family schedule. Although, she liked the water and she wanted her daughters to enjoy the water two. 

“Mama,” Luna said as she went to walk over to them despite how Alex held on to her lest she walk off the lily pad.

She gently cupped her hand and picked up a handful of water and brought it up to run it over Helena bare their legs. Helena kicked and squirmed, but she tolerated it as well as she usually did. She was never one to like the water unless it was warm and even then, she only tolerated bath time once in a while.

Seeing her interest, Jo held her close and scooted forward so that she could dip Helena's toes in the lake. The second her toes touched the cold water, Helena let out a shriek and quickly turned around, clawing her fingers into Jo's bikinis and pulling herself up as fast as she could. Jo quickly brought Helen and settled her against her shoulder, grabbing the town nearby and wrapping it around her. Alex grabbed Luna and swam over to them. He put his hand on Helena’s back as he hopped up next to them and settled Luna on his lap. 

“It's okay Lena, Mama's not a big fan of the water either,” Jo said as she patted her back and held her close as Helena's cries soon ended as she chewed on the strings to Jo's sundress. 

“She could be if she came to the pool every now and again with Luna and Daddy,” Alex said, talking to Jo more than he was to Helena. 

“And give up her hour of alone time, hard pass,” Jo said with a giggle as she looked over at Alex.

Luna let out a cry, getting their attention as she pointed to where Zola and Ellis were jumping into the water. Alex let her go and she took a big leap into the water. Jo grabbed his hand as she watched their daughter jump. Their fearless girl and the dark waters of the lake, made Jo's heart race, but Luna just laughed as she came back up, thanks to her sturdy life jacket. Alex scooped her up, and she was right in front of him and settled her in his lap again.

“‘ump, ‘ump,” Luna said excitedly, bouncing on Alex's lap as she held onto her.

Jo quickly schooled her features and plastered on a smile, hiding her fear. “Yes, I did see you, baby. You did a big jump.”

“‘ump,” Luna said again with a nod as Alex twisted his fingers around the little ponytails on the top of her head that barely contained her little white blond strands of hair. 

“Hey, who wants a popsicle?” Meredith asked, holding up a box of red, white, and blue rocket popsicles as all of the kids turned their heads towards her. 

Luna immediately scrambled off their laps and over to her auntie Mer to get the first popsicle as the rest of the kids quickly followed suit. 

“Great, we're almost ready to eat, so as soon as you're out, grab a towel and come up to the deck,” Meredith said as she finished heading out the popsicles. Alex smiled, knowing that she had used them as a tool to get all of the kids out of the water. 

He and Jackson put away the lily pad while Jo and the kids went inside, and they packed up the boat to head up to Edmonds for the firework show up there. 

They all eat barbecued hot dogs up on the deck and Luna absolutely got melted popsicles all down her swimsuit and barbecue sauce all over her face as she enjoyed her meal. Alex never cared about the mess that the toddler made, but Jo complained that between the two of them, they were never clean. Especially compared to Helena as she delicately ate her little squashed hot dog bites. Jo changed Luna into a cute little blue dress and made sure to grab them both the noise canceling earmuffs before they went back outside for when the fireworks started. 

True to her word, after dinner, Jo finished breastfeeding Helena, handed Alex both of the kids, and took a shot from Meredith. Her pregnancy had affected her stamina, and after two shots of tequila and half a beer, she was well on her way to being drunk. Alex watched as his graceful wife got absolutely plastered and started dancing on tabletops with Meredith right next to her. It got to the point where she was teetering on her feet, and Alex forced her to wear a life jacket, just in case. 

“Do I have to wear this?” Jo asked, looking up at him with her adorable little pout of protest as he. 

“Yep,” Alex said as he clipped it onto her and kissed her nose.

“Do I at least get something in return?” Jo asked as she looking up at him, she batted her eyelashes and smiled at him, her hands going to the collar of his polo shirt. 

“If you're mostly sober enough to consent by the time we get the girls home and in bed, then I will reward you for your good behavior.” 

“Yay,” Jo said, leaning in and giving him a sloppy kiss before she turned around and went back partying with Meredith and April. 

They got up to Edmonds just as the sun was setting on the horizon. They usually would just stay in Lake Union and watch the fireworks there, but they had been canceled on account of the pandemic. Regardless Edmonds had a firework display on the water, and they parked the boat in prime position before setting up the lily pad again. 

The kids swam for a little bit longer, and Alex played with both of the girls, Scout, and Amelia in the boat’s living room for a little while before they all met up on the deck for the fireworks display. Maggie stole Helena for some Auntie cuddles, leaving Alex hands-free as Scout and Lunas sat together in front of him in the playpen. Next, Alex found Jo and took off her life jacket, then wrapped his arm around her as he sat down in a chair and pulled her into the lab.

Jo giggled as he pulled her down, but she settled on his lap and as the fireworks started. The dazzling display of red and blue multi-colored fireworks was easy enough to capture everyone's attention. About halfway through, Maggie gave Helena back when she started to fuss, and Jo held her close. Luna was completely mesmerized by the exploding fireworks as she stood on her toes against the wall of the playpen to get a better look at them. Helena watched them for a little bit, but didn't find them quite interesting enough before she buried her face in Jo's shoulder and surprisingly fell asleep. Then again, Helena usually fell asleep anywhere so long as she was in someone's arms. After Amelia picked up Scout, Luna started crying and reaching out to him as she turned around and shook the side of the playpen.

“I got her, Uncle Alex,” Zola said as she got up and picked up Luna out of the playpen before set her in Alex's lap. He quickly adjusted to hold all three of his girls, something he had learned to balance in the past few months. Going from one kid to two in six months had been a whirlwind. It felt like never ending chaos at the Karev house, but Alex loved it. 

Alex looked away from the fireworks and watched Jo and his girls take them in. Jo seemed to have sobered up a little bit as she watched the display, and she cuddled up against him and laid her head on his shoulder. Although they wouldn’t remember it years from now, the experience still mattered. This was like what he loved about the holidays most of all, spending it with his family, Jo, and their girls.

[stinkyelf]

You Like Head Pats

Sirius Black x Plus size Hufflepuff reader

Plot Summary: A mysterious dog starts visiting y/n and she spills all her secrets

Warnings: bullying and body shaming. Mentions of insecurities.

Word Count: 2,923

—

The day was beautiful, and all I wanted to do was sit down with the sun in my face and Sirius Black holding my hand. But that wasn’t possible. I had been friends with the Marauders since Second year, but Sirius held a special place in my heart that only Remus, James and Lily knew about. I planned to keep it that way.

It was hard having 4 Gryffindor best friends, being a Hufflepuff I barely got to see any of them. Though I never complained because being able to see them, being able to see Sirius, always made my day much better. 

I was making my way outside towards the tree I usually study at. Halfway down the corridor I hear my name being yelled “Y/n, hey Y/nnn” I smile to myself knowing who the voice belongs to. Before I could turn around and greet my friends, some girls decided it would be funny to push into me. My books fall to the ground as I land on my hands to catch myself, “move out the way bitch” one girl says before walking away and laughing with her friends. 

“woah woah woah, Y/n are you okay” Remus asks running to me and helping me up while Sirius picks up my books for me. I nod straightening out my skirt “ Im fine, It’s okay. just a little scratch” I say looking at the marks on the palms of my hands. 

I look up at the boys, their faces filled with worry “what?” I ask confused going to grab my books from Sirius but he pulls them away “ are you sure you’re okay Y/n?” he asks me. I give him a smile “please, I am fine. Now if you don’t mind i have some studying to do and some sun to enjoy” I say grabbing my books from Sirius and walking off. 

~ 

I sit on the grass against the tree, I set my books down next to me and gaze across the grounds towards the Forbidden Forest. Truthfully I had only been in the forest once, out of curiosity, but nearly got caught so I had never tried to go near the trees again. I sat quietly admiring the view instead of studying, when something caught my eye. It was a dog, A big dog with black fur. I wasn’t sure if it saw me but I gave it a smile and a wave before it walked further into the forest. 

I sat for a while with my thoughts before I heard my name being called again “Y/n/n” I turned towards the sound and saw Lily running towards me. I stood up and hugged her “hey Lil” I say happily greeting her, “ we have dinner, are you coming?” I nod and pack up my books and follow her to the great hall. 

I sit down at the Gryffindor table in between Lily and Sirius, James and Remus were opposite us. “So how was studying?” James asks me, they all knew how much I loved the sun and how it calmed me down from a stressful day. I smile sheepishly taking a sip of the drink in front of me “well, I got a bit distracted actually, but other than that it was rather lovely. and I saw a dog” I said before eating 

Everyone looked confused and I shrugged my shoulders, “A black dog, I waved to it, but he walked away” I said like it was a normal occurrence. I turned to my right and started a conversation with Lily, what I didn’t see was the look Remus and James gave Sirius.

~ 

It was another beautiful day but this time I sat in the Gryffindor common room with Lily, actually Studying. It was mid afternoon before the boys decided to make an appearance. They came rushing over and Sirius sat next to me, putting his arm around my shoulder.

“how is my pretty girl doing?” he says, I chuckled at his flirtatious behaviour. I know he would never go for a girl like me, I am not his type, He liked skinny girls and I was far from that. “Fine, thank you” I say subconsciously moving away from him and pulling my skirt down to cover my big thighs. 

he noticed, but before he could say anything Remus spoke up “Y/n are you going to sit in the sun again?” he asked smiling at me, I nod “yes, I’m happy for you all to join me, if you would like to” I say getting ready to leave. “ I would love to, dear. But I have detention” Sirius says bidding us farewell before leaving. Odd, I don’t remember him getting into trouble this week. 

We make our way to the study tree, as I like to call it. We spend our time laughing and gossiping “so when will you tell Sirius about your little crush?” Lily asks, making me blush and shake my head “never, he couldn’t possibly see me in that way” I state, laughing at the idea. they look confused and I carry on “come on guys. i’ve seen the girls he’s been with, and trust me I just don’t think I meet his standards. I’m fat, I know that and he just wouldn’t like me” I say truthfully. they all looked shocked and James speaks up “you must be crazy to not see the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you Y/n. Trust me, he’s in love with you” They all nod in agreement and I shake my head. 

we continue talking before they decide to leave, I stay, I need to be alone with my thoughts. 

In the midst of my thinking, I see the dog again. He is closer, I smile at the dog waving a hand and ushering him towards me. He hesitantly pads my way “hello” I say “my name is Y/n, my you are beautiful” I say looking into the dogs familiar grey eyes. Interesting.

The dog comes closer, I reach my hand out to pet it. He eagerly accepts my pats and sits next to me. The dog looks up at me, I sigh “well if you want me to talk, then you better be willing to listen” the dog nods and places a paw on my hand. I talk about anything and everything, keeping Sirius to the back of my mind. The dog yawns and lays down “i’m boring you” I say simply leaning my head against the tree “fine, you want something more exciting, let me tell you a secret” I say making the dog perk up a bit.

“so you can not tell anyone, not that you would be able to but, ugh. I have a crush on someone, I have for so long but I don’t know how to tell him. He’s so pretty and tall but he can’t possibly find me attractive. He’s such a flirt but I can’t bring myself to believe the words he says” I spill out. I sigh and hear my name being called out, the dog runs off before I could say goodbye. 

~

Remus and I walk together to dinner. I sit again at the Gryffindor table next to Lily. I look to my left and the seat is absent “where is Sirius?” I ask confused “you missing me already, love?” I hear from behind me before he sits next to me. “you wish” I say nudging his side, he laughs but in his eyes he looks detached and sad “Sirius, are you okay?” I ask sincerely, turning my full body to face him. He gives me a half smile “yes, just swell, thank you” he says slightly sarcastically before eating. I brush it off, he must be in a bad mood from detention.

I sigh and shrug my shoulders towards Remus, who looks confused at the interaction between Sirius and I. Dinner ends and we all go to our respected common rooms. That night I dreamt of the dog. 

He’s speaking to me but I can’t hear what he is saying. It comes out as whines and barks, I’m confused. As he continues the words become clearer “Y/n wake up” “hey wake up” I hear, someone is shaking me.

I jolt out of bed, it is still dark out but I can see Lily leaning over me “who, what, what are you doing in here?” I ask her rubbing my eyes awake “Sirius wants to meet you by the tree” she says, I look at her confused and she shrugs “its bloody 3am, what could he possibly want?” I say getting up and dressed “I have no clue” she says walking down to the Hufflepuff common room.

I met her downstairs “do you want me to come with you?” I shake my head “no, you should get some sleep” I say and she nods, we walk off into different directions. 

I sneakily make my way outside towards the tree, Sirius is nowhere to be seen “Sirius!?” I whisper yell “Sirius where are you?” I call out. There is no answer, I sigh and slump against the tree “stupid boy, waking me up at 3am and then doesn’t even show” I mumble angrily to myself on the verge of falling asleep.

I’m about to fall asleep when I feel something wet against my hand, I open my eyes and see the dog, he’s licked my hands “hello” I say, my tone tired. he nudges my hand and whines, I slightly wince at the contact “it’s okay, I just got pushed over the other day, not the first time it’s happened” I brush off, rubbing the marks on my hands. We sit in silence for a while before I speak up “have you seen a tall boy with brown hair?” I ask “i’m supposed to meet him, at least I think I am, unless this is some stupid prank. ugh my friend Lily woke me up telling me that Sirius had to talk to me, and he hasn’t even shown up. I guess I’ll have to speak with him later” I sigh

Silence again takes up the one sided conversation. “you know, I love him” I speak out of nowhere to the dog. His ears perk up and he looks at me “Sirius, I mean. I love him” I say pulling my sweater closer as a breeze brushes past “he is perfect, in my eyes. He’s nice to me and that doesn’t happen all the time, you know” “I love his smile and the sound of his laugh, when I make a stupid joke. I even love the flirtatious comments that don’t mean anything. He just” I sigh “he makes me feel included even though we aren’t in the same house, he NEVER leaves me out or makes me feel like a burden” I say turning to face the dog now.

“I haven’t told anyone this but i’ve been getting slightly bullied, not all the time, but I hear people make comments here and there about my weight. calling me fat and pig, i’ve gotten used to it, I just can’t bring myself to tell the marauders and Lily, I don’t want them to think that I’m a weak little Hufflepuff.” I finished wiping a tear away that I didn’t realise had fallen. “but it’s okay, because now i’ve told you and you can’t tell anyone and there is a weight off my shoulders” i ramble smiling to the dog.

The sun begins to rise and I bid my farewell to the creature “bye bye” I say waving as I go have breakfast

~

I sat with my Hufflepuff friends during breakfast, I hadn’t seen the marauders all day. Lily asked about my talk with Sirius and I told her he never showed up, she was just as confused as I was. 

I sat in the library with Remus, studying again. I was slowly getting an essay done. “how was your talk with Sirius?” Remus asked out of the blue, I looked at him confused “he didn’t show up” he looked confused this time “I need to teach that boy to not wake a girl up at 3am and not show” Remus and I laugh lightly before being shushed by Madam Pince.

“so he never showed up?” I nodded “yup, but I saw the dog, we had a chat, well I talked and he listened” I said. Remus smirked “looks like you’ve got yourself a pet Y/n” I snort loudly but quickly cover my mouth “very funny Remus” I say shaking my head.

We continue studying before it’s time to go to dinner again. I sit next to Sirius, he gives me a smile. I ignore him and start eating, he frowns at this. Throughout dinner he pokes me but I ignore him, all the way to the Gryffindor common room he tried to get my attention. I decide it’s time to give him a piece of my mind “Sirius, do you know how rude it is to get Lily to wake me up at 3am just to talk to me and then never show up?, If it was some stupid prank, can you just tell me now!” I let out my frustrations gaining the attention of our friends.

“i’m not sure what you mean y/n” he says with a smirk, I laugh “oh you aren’t sure what I mean, Sirius I talked to a dog at 3am cos I was waiting for you, do you know how crazy that sounds” James snorts and I glare at him, shutting him up.

Sirius puts his arm over the couch “Y/n, I was there” he says confidently “very funny Sirius, unless you can turn into a large black dog, you definitely were not there” I say crossing my arms against my chest. It goes silent for a bit and I look up confused “what?” I say turning towards Sirius “Y/n, you know I can turn into a large black dog” he says rubbing my shoulder. the colour drains from my face.

I quickly get up and walk out of the common room, my name being called from behind me, but I don’t want to listen.

He knows. I feel sick. He knows that I like him, I told him everything. I walk as fast as I can to the tree, I need air and I need to breathe. I hear footsteps behind me but I ignore them.

~

I sit against the tree and cry “how could I be so stupid, of course I knew he was an Animagus, how did I not connect the fucking dots” I say out of frustration with myself. “you aren’t stupid, love” I hear Sirius say, I wipe away my tears not wanting him to see me cry. He sits down and puts his arm around me but I quickly move away from him “I am stupid, I told you EVERYTHING and now it will ruin our friendship, and you won’t want to talk to me anymore. I told you about being bullied and now you will pity me!” I ramble frustrated as tears flow down my face.

He pulls me to his chest as I cry “how could you say those things love, I’m not going to pity you and you definitely have not ruined our friendship. I love you Y/n and I have for a long time” he says resting his chin on my head “you do?” i ask, he lifts my chin with his hand “of course, what is there not to love!?” before I could answer he gives me a stern look “I know how you see yourself, but you are so so fucking beautiful to me. You brighten my day every time I see you- and honestly those thighs, when I see them I just want to wr-” “Sirius!” I yell slapping his arm.

He lets out a chuckle “sorry, sorry. But you understand that I love you right? every part of you. I wish you told me about the bullying, I don’t want to see you hurting. I hate seeing you hurt Y/n” he says sincerely and I nod “I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you Sirius, I didn’t think you guys would care” I say truthfully “of course we care Y/n, you are our best friend” he says.

We sit for a while gazing at the moon, he holds me close in his arms “Y/n” “yes?” I say turning towards him slightly “will you be my girlfriend?” he asks, a small blush coming onto his cheeks “I thought you would never ask” I smile up at him. he leans down and kisses me, it’s soft and sweet and it makes me fall in love even more. He pulls away and smirks “I can finally call you my pretty girl” he sighs contently.

~

Sirius and I make our way to the Gryffindor table hand in hand the next morning for breakfast. The boys and Lily all smile at us “I see that you guys sorted it out then?” James says and I nod shyly while sitting down. 

We continue conversation like any normal day and I giggle to myself “what?” Sirius asks “I was just thinking” I say “you like head pats” I say making Lily and the boys laugh. A blush forms onto his cheeks before he nudges me a big “oh shut up” he laughs along with us.

My life could never be better. 

[weasleydream]

Sirius, little Sofia and the Christmas tree

I feel like this one is so precious 🥺 I’ll never say it enough but soft Sirius is bae really 

This one is for @wonderful-writer​‘s ficmas challenge! Thank you for organizing such a fun event, love! My prompt was “Do you want to put the star on the top of the tree?” and honestly I fell in love with it!

As usual feel free to like, comment, reblog and enjoy!

Masterlist 

St-Mungo’s was a place with a special meaning. Of course, as a hospital, it obviously had an immense importance but it was one of the few places that was such a big part of James’, Remus’ Peter’s, Sirius’ and my heart. For James, it was because he had ended up there after particularly severe wounds from Quidditch when he wasn’t at Hogwarts. For Remus, it was because of this amazing nurse that had taken care of him after his first full-moon as a werewolf. For Peter, it was because he had always been welcomed with kindness when his father had stayed there for a while after having been hit by a strange curse. I didn’t know why Sirius seemed to be the most attached to this place. As far as I knew, he had never been here after having been injured and I doubted he had ever visited a family member here. I also knew for a fact that his parents hadn’t worked here for years before leaving the country for an abroad mission like mine. But despite this apparent lack of link between him and St-Mungo’s, I eventually understood how he felt bound to the place. So bound that, a few days before Christmas 1977, he announced to us he would spend Christmas eve at St-Mungo’s. 

“I thought we were staying at Hogwarts all together.” I frowned. “Why this sudden change of mind?”

I glanced at Remus, who shrugged, and at James and Peter who were eyeing Sirius suspiciously. 

“Is that where you spent Christmas last year?” asked James, who ignored our interrogative looks. 

Sirius looked away and I could have sworn he was blushing. 

“It’s a promise I’ve made…” he mumbled. 

He seemed afraid that we would make fun of him or something, but nothing like this happened. Everything in him, from his sparkling eyes to his straight posture, everything was showing how important this promise was for him and never would we have laughed for such an essential mission. 

James fell back on the couch of the common room, the one that was just in front of the fire, and put his arm behind his head before releasing the golden snitch he always had with him. 

“We’ll have to ask Minnie to let us five leave school for Christmas eve, then. Do you think Lily will want to come with us?”

Remus threw a sarcastic remark that only him had the secret and I caught Sirius’ smile which, in my opinion, had nothing to do with James’ dark red cheeks. 

_ _ _ 

Strangely, Professor McGonagall hadn’t even tried to refuse to let us leave for Christmas eve. In fact, it was quite the contrary: she had accepted almost immediately after having addressed a knowing smile at Sirius. 

“I wonder why she accepted that quickly…” said Peter as soon as her office door was closed behind us. 

Remus elbowed him, hissing that she could still hear us, and only spoke when two corridors separated us from Professor McGonagall. 

“I’m pretty sure it’s because of Pads.”

“Obviously. It has to be because Sirius already went there last year and she had to know it.” answered Peter matter-of-factly before waving his wand in front of my eyes. “Y/N! You still with us?”

I removed his hand, my eyes still fixed on Sirius’ back. He was a few meters in front of us, walking next to James who nudged him playfully. Since he knew we would accompany him, Sirius seemed less exuberant, less loud, and I was pretty sure it was because he was scared. Whatever had motivated him to cancel our Christmas together at Hogwarts wasn’t something he had ever told us about, that was for sure. And it probably wasn’t something usual for him, or else he would have kept it a secret. 

“Let her stare,” smirked Remus. “You won’t be able to stop her in anyways, Wormtail, you should know it.” 

Peter laughed and shook his head. Remus imitated him and nudged me. I groaned, used to this almost constant teasing that had begun at the beginning of our previous year. 

“Shut up, Moony.”

_ _ _ 

The street was crowded, way more than usual. The Muggles seemed even more pressed that they were at any other moment of the year. They had their arms full of bags probably containing various presents and any kind of food. A woman who was holding a plastic box against her ear pushed me hurriedly and continued her rushed race to whatever was stressing her. The movement caused me to trip and I would have ended the nose directly against the hard ground if solid arms hadn’t wrapped around me. 

“Maybe one day you’ll learn how to walk properly!” Sirius winked.

I was sure my cheeks were red and that they didn’t stop darkening even when his hands left my waist, leaving my skin almost burning through the wool of my Christmas sweater.While Sirius left and disappeared through St-Mungo’s entrance following James and Peter, Remus patted my shoulder with a broad smile. 

“Admit it, you tripped on purpose.”

“To make a fool of myself? No way.” I groaned.

“Come on, you may be a fool but Sirius thinks you’re a cute one.”

Remus threw me a mysterious glance and disappeared too, leaving me alone in the street with my thoughts and the Muggles. Eventually deciding to join the boys, I crossed the magical barrier with a sigh. 

It had been a while since the last time I had stepped in this hospital during Christmas. It had always brought me betterness and guilt to be there, perfectly well and with my family whereas a lot of patients here were alone. The worst to me was the bunch of kids that practically lived here, kids whose parents weren't with them with or without a good reason, if there was really a good reason for this. 

Sirius led us through the hall and we took the stairs to the cafeteria’s level. In my memories, this lever was the most decorated during the end of the year but it was nothing compared to how decorated it was now. The walls were covered in drawings representing Christmas trees, Santa Claus, snowmen and a lot of other coloured items representing Christmas, all of these drawings coming from children. Each window was adorned with bright red ribbons, Tinsels and wreaths were disposed wherever they fitted. In the middle of the cafeteria, from where all the tables had been removed, a big tree that hadn’t been decorated yet had the pride of the place, and around this tree were gathered nine kids. They were all wearing Christmas-related clothes, and a little girl even had a headband with reindeer antlers. Two little boys and the girl with the headband rushed toward Sirius, their little arms wide open and their eyes sparkling. 

“Sirius!”

“We were waiting for you!”

Sirius hugged the two boys and then wrapped his arms around the little girl. 

“How are you little princess?”

“I was scared you wouldn’t come…” she answered shyly. 

Sirius smiled softly and ruffled her hair, causing the headband to almost fall. She replaced it, giggling, and extended an arm to mess up Sirius’ hair too. 

“You’ll decorate the tree with us?”

“Of course! Let’s make the most beautiful Christmas tree ever. After you!”

Sirius glanced at James, Remus, Peter and I. His eyes were as bright as the kids’ and my heart swelled at the sight. Then he rolled up his sleeves and headed to a group of three kids to help them open a box of decorations. With barely a glance accorded to each other, the boys and I joined the little groups of kids to help them. 

Christmas carols were resonating, both from little bells floating everywhere in the room and from the kids, my friends and I. Slowly but surely, the tree was becoming the prettiest Christmas tree ever. Thanks to these adorable kids, it was putting on its most beautiful colours. Even though it probably lasted quite a long time, it felt like we had only been there for a few minutes. I was having so much mun, I didn’t want this moment out of time to come to an end. It was too light-hearted, too magic, I wanted it to last forever. 

“Lost in your thoughts?”

Sirius walked to me and stopped by my side. We both turned to the tree around which the kids were debating on which star they should put at the top of it. 

“You came here last year, right?” I asked curiously. 

“Yeah.” Sirius nodded and I looked at him. He had a light smile on his lips and his eyes were sparkling. “To be honest, I don’t even know why I came here in the first place. I should’ve been at James’ but… I don’t know. I was feeling bad and I left. I came here and I saw most of these kids. Yes, they were already here.” He added when I gasped. “They were so sad and I just- I couldn’t let them have a Christmas as crappy as the one I was having. The nurse on duty was half asleep and she asked me to keep them busy so I helped decorating the tree…”

“And you promise to come back this year.” I finished softly. 

Sirius scratched the back of his head and smiled almost shyly. 

“I’ve come back a few times already. There’s- there’s this little girl, the one with the antlers. Her name is Sofia. Her parents… Let’s say they weren’t especially loving with her. She reminds me of myself, you know? Except that she has absolutely no one. I- I just don’t want her to be alone.”

“Sirius, that’s-”

“Sirius! We’ve chosen this one!” suddenly exclaimed Sofia while waving a golden star. 

Sirius immediately joined her and kneeled so that his face was in front of her and asked with a smile:

“Do you want to put the star on the top of the tree?”

“Oh yes!” she beamed and opened her arms to Sirius. 

He lifted her up effortlessly, extending his arms so that the little girl could reach the very top of the tree. Delicately, as if it was the most precious thing in the world, Sofia put the star at its place and all of us applauded. She seemed to be as glowing as the star. Sirius pretended to drop her and her laughter filled the cafeteria. The kids surrounded Sirius and Sofia. 

“You know what? I think your tree is beautiful.” declared Sirius who ruffled a boy’s hair. 

“This is our tree!” corrected the boy, whose name was Tim. 

The nurse on duty - who was fully awake - broughts biscuits and tea. The kids, joined by James, Peter and Remus, gathered around a table to share this well deserved snack. As for Sirius, he stopped next to me. 

“I believe you were going to say something.” 

“I was going to say that this… It’s incredible, Sirius. You make them so happy!”

“They make me equally happy.” he murmured. 

I turned to him and put my hand on his shoulder. 

“Does that mean you’re a softie?”

“Shut up, Y/L/N.”

We laughed and Sirius wrapped his arm around me . Slowly - because I was now walking into an unknown territory - I rested my head on his shoulder. Far from flinching, he even did the same and we stayed like this, looking at our friends who were making fools of themselves to make the kids laugh. A strand of Sirius’ hair fell in front of my eyes and I didn’t even bother to remove it, afraid it would break whatever was enveloping us. And then, suddenly…

“Will you kiss already?”

James and Remus were smirking and Peter was smiling as broadly as the kids. I looked up: there was a piece of mistletoe that was slowly appearing above our heads. I felt Sirius’ other arm pulling me against him. Without losing a second, I crashed my lips on his and intertwined my hands in his hair. Even the whistles of James couldn’t have made me react, at the moment Sirius seemed to be the only part of my world. 

_ _ _

It was very late at night, now. Half of the kids had fallen asleep while the boys and I had told them stories, curled up ones against the others. Not Sofia. Comfortably snuggled in Sirius’ arms, her thumb was in her mouth and her eyes were wide open. She even groaned slightly when the nurse in charge announced it was time for them to go to bed.

“You can’t be tired for the opening of your presents tomorrow!” she said.

The kids who were asleep were woken up and the joyous group left the cafeteria. Tim and Sofia stayed a bit longer. 

“Will you be there next year?” asked the little girl, who was in front of Sirius.

The latter kneeled and shook hands with her.

“I’ll come back even sooner, that’s a promise little princess.”

Sofia nodded, laid a wet kiss on Sirius’ cheek, waved at us and left. Tim grabbed the bottom of Peter’s sweater. 

“And you? Will you come back?”

Peter nodded with energy and James and Remus smiled broadly. 

“Of course we’ll be there. And you know what? We’ll organize a competition.”

“The biggest chocolate eater will win a special prize!” exclaimed Peter. 

“You should begin to train, you have a master in front of you!” added James on the tone of confidence, pointing at Remus with his thumb. 

“Shut up, Prongs.”

[sooniesspot]

Fluff Drabbles

☁️Hoseok Fluff☁️

No warnings purely tooth rotting floof

word count: 2.6k?

A/N: I got inspired by another story and absolutely loved the idea of Teacher!Hoseok so here we areeeee

“Only when I’m with you.”

Class 2J. sparkling oakwood desks and clean, green carpeted floor. Bookshelves in alphabetical order from top to bottom. Walls with displays that would rival any city centre mural. Painted hands in an array of colours. Poems and love letters in abundance as a Valentine’s Day activity for the students. Woven strings dangling with pictures and drawings of various animals; precariously cut out with care. Sunlight breaking through the windows aligned with small pots of steadily growing cress on a late Friday afternoon. All the children had gone home for the evening, leaving only teachers to walk the halls and finish their work. 

Hastening steps as you travelled the short distance to his classroom. Wedges padding along the hardwood floor; echoing through the halls. Reaching his door; a deep mahogany with a window to see through, blind slightly down; you peeked through. There he sat. at his desk, picking staples out of the hearts that made the large Valentine’s Day display behind him; tongue slightly peeking out of the corner of his mouth. Concentration evident in his face. Colour palette of sunlight and joy. That was him. Honey toned skin and warm brown hair. Orange stripes on his shirt fitting his upbeat and loving personality. Radiating all that was good in the world. Hearts in abundance not just the ones he was removing staples from; with surgeon like precision. With a smile that would brighten the darkest door. 

Early that same day you arrived into your class of 1H 8:05am; Switching on the lights that woke you out of your hazed morning blur. Room alight, you were greeted by hues of pink and red. Reminded of the day. 14th February. You hated this time of year. Whether that was due to you being single and evidently cynical about this time of year or for the simple fact you thought the holiday was stupid. Why would you set aside only 1 special day a year to show someone how much you loved them? It astounded you how like the Sahara Desert your friends relationships would be every other day of the year, only to be treated in abundance with affection and gifts for this 1 day because society dictates. 

You ventured over to the windows pulling up the shutters, a flittering of metal sounding through the room. Taking chairs down from the desks. The cleaners had travelled through the class, vacuum in hand as they cleared the sprinkling of glitter tiny Taehyun had dropped onto said carpet the day before. The crunched in dried pasta from making jewellery boxes. All under the cloak of night. You bumbled over to your desk, dropping down your bag after placing notes and class plans on your hearty desk. You slumped in your chair; just wanting this gruelling Valentine’s week to be over already. You had been making trinkets and other drawings, poems and keepsakes with the children, expecting nothing outstanding from a class of 5-year-olds, however loving every single piece that every child made. After taking one last glance over the classroom your eyes ended up landing on a delicately placed March Lily on your desk in a softly decorated mason jar; filled with water. There it sat, staring at you. In all its blooming glory. A small note attached to the twine wrapping round the jar in a bow. 

Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Hoseok. xx

You gazed at it in wonder. Smiling to yourself at the gesture. Soon enough a knock on the door and a chatter of children pulled you out of your reverie. Travelling to the door, you greeted your students with hi-fives, handshakes and hugs. The lily always in the back of your mind as all of the children sat at their tables with lofty giggles and kicking feet atop chairs where their legs would dangle. So class began.

Passing in the corridor at lunch you had called across to him; trying to flag him down. Smile beaming on your face, you watched as his face rose with a blush, nervous eyes as he smiled, not meeting your own. Quickened pace as he swept past the children into the staff room. Soon arriving there yourself you were met with 4th year teachers and the other 1st year teacher; Daisy. You could see Hoseok no where in sight.

“Daisy, have you seen Hoseok?” you asked; confused.

Looking up from her phone as she sat at the small table with her soup; she looked around. 

“Um, he was in here. Must’ve just left. Think he said something about going out for lunch?” She shrugged, looking to you with a curious look. 

You nodded solemnly, as you moved over to the large fridge full of lunches. Opening the door you fished for your own plain sandwich you had every day. A blue container laden with a vibrant green post it note with Hoseok’s name on.  He had lunch? 

Your lunch went by in a flash waiting for Hoseok to return to the staff room but he never came back. Soon enough you were back in class. Talking about love. What does love mean to you? You had asked the children. Some answers making your heart burst and some making you cry with laughter.

“Love is hugging my doggie when I get home.” 

“My mummy and daddy love each other a million.” 

“I love trees.”

“Is love when someone falls over and you laugh?” 

Until finally, a small girl; Soo-yung. Raised her hand and asked. “What does love mean to you, Miss Honey?” 

You were taken aback, stumbling over words as you thought of something nice to say. Trying not to be cynical for the children’s sake. Then you saw him. Like a constant light in your heart. Like he was right in front of you. 

“Love to me, is helping people. Making sure they are happy, not because you want to, but because you hate seeing them upset and need to make them happy.” 

Hoseok had had trouble in the past. He had been broken up with. The girl wanting money and “A 2nd Grade teacher isn’t going to buy me a Porsche.” You knew Hoseok. He would buy the person he loved, every single star in the sky. He would Lasso the moon if he could. He would scoop up the sun like an ice cream just to place it in a cone for constant light. He was a man that deserved to be happy and made sure everyone else was before himself. He was an expert at hiding his pain, but you could see through that. Even early into your friendship when he first started working with you. You could always see through the facade.

“Love, is loving everything about one another.” 

“Like loving my glasses?” 

“Like my bendy fingers?”

“My extra toe?!” 

You didn’t expect anything less from a group of 5-year-olds, they never failed to make you laugh. 

“Miss Honey, are you in love?” a little boy named Mason asked; wonderous eyes gazing up at you. 

You slumped slightly, resting on the edge of your desk, in front of the children. Hands resting on the edge. You smiled with a light chuckle; thinking it over. 

“Maybe I am.” 

To this you glanced to your left, seeing Hoseok walking past the door with his class, probably going to gym. You smiled sweetly as you watched him pass you by. Yearning surfacing as you wanted to call for him, or to wave; get his attention. 

Class continued on, decorating hearts with little notes on, helping some of the children with handwriting. Notes for family and friends. Even a couple of notes for you that you never expected, bringing tears threateningly close to spilling over and running down your cheeks. Class had ended for the day. The last day of the week where there was a lovely break to be had. You bid all the children goodbye; making sure they took all of their things with them. 

You had tried to rehearse what you wanted to say, finding the attempt futile, deciding on venturing to Hoseok’s class to say thank you for the lily at least. And so here you were; taking a deep breath and knocking on the door; heart in your throat. Your head popping through the crack in the door, smile on your face again. Hoseok looked up, eyes dancing and he smiled back. His hunched over shoulders relaxing at the presence of you. Suddenly jumping with a yelp, shaking his hand as he looked down at the heart he was toying with; pulling out staples. He looked to his thumb seeing a pin prick of blood as he shoved his thumb in his mouth; placing the heart on his desk with a roll of his eyes. He stood up, quickly rubbing his hands down his paint splattered jeans as he stood. 

“Hi Miss Honey, how can I help?” he asked with a nervous chuckle, looking to his thumb. 

You smiled, stepping in through the door like a breath of fresh air. In that moment his own caught in his throat as he stared at you. Your summer dress; mint green, flouncing about mid shin as you timidly walked into the room. Intricate flowers scattered over every inch of your dress in white that hung off you in decadent ways. Your hair framing your face that was beaming with a smile, a light blush on your cheeks. Hands clasped together in front of you as you made your way closer to his desk. With every step he felt his heart hammer; his heart screaming for you but his voice stuttering nothing.

“I’d like to say thank you for the Lily. It’s beautiful.” You smiled, big eyes looking up at him as you drew closer, barely 2 feet away from the desk. 

His heart grew wide, enamoured by you. He was silent. For a long while. Your smile faltering slightly as he looked back at you, lips parted but no words escaping him. Hand tapping on his leg as he took you in. Your hair, your dress. The way you looked at him. So lovingly it made him burst. But it also made him hurt because he knew it was only platonic. A girl like you, loving someone like him? Impossible. He had so much he wanted to say that everything came out in a jumble of not wanting you to panic that he wasn’t responding. 

“I-it’s a March Lily. And it looked so pretty. Like y-aaaand I know. you. umm. I-i-it would just fit with your classroom, y’know. a-and it was also a thank you because of all the things you do for uhhh.” He stuttered, all of the words bubbling to the surface before he could stop them. 

“Where were you at lunch? I tried to say thank you then, but you disappeared.” You glanced awkwardly up at him before your gaze faltered and returned to your nails. 

You could cut the tension in the classroom like a knife as it swarmed around you both in his classroom. He visibly gulped. 

“Um, I went out for lunch instead.” He laughed nervously, hand scratching the back of his neck.

Before you could reply, he continued. 

“I was worried. It was a stupid idea on my part. I should’ve just spoken to you, but I was scared.” 

“Scared of what, Hoseok?” 

Silence befell the room. The sun outside beginning to set behind the horizon, making way for pink and purple hues that shone through the windows of the classroom and onto Hoseok’s face; pained, worried. The odd rustle of leaves sounded from outside and a slight whistle from a bird but the building was quiet. As if you were the only 2 people in the world. 

“Rejection.” 

An alarm went off in your head at that point, now it made sense. You just assumed the lily was to symbolise the friendship between the both of you, the colour yellow symbolizes friendship and joy. All the things your dear Hoseok stands for. But now realising that it was a March Lily. Everything made sense. 

You had been reading a book, months prior when the leaves began to fall, making way for Winter. Your colleague Daisy finding it peculiar that you were reading a book about flowers and their meanings in the Winter. You had discussed with Hoseok occasionally over a shared lunch of warm soup you had brought in to share. Hoseok a few days prior, inviting his old school friend Namjoon over for food and agreed to let him cook. This was not his shining moment. As he returned, the friend had managed to melt a plastic bowl to the stove.  So no cooked food for a couple of days. 

Every evening before going home you would pop through his door with a container of food for him, left overs from food you had cooked for yourself the night before. He would constantly thank you and would walk you to your car in the parking lot which would always be next to his own. One day you had left a container of leftovers on his desk, with the book atop it. Hoseok had shown an interest in the book and asked if he could borrow it. Everything finally clicked. 

“The March Lily…” you began, thinking out loud.

“It means-“

“Unrequited love.” Hoseok finished before you could. 

The look on his face was one you had never seen before. Sadness for something he deemed unobtainable. Your affection. You had seen him sad before, when one of his students were upset. Another no-good girl broke up with him after she didn’t need him anymore. But this. This hurt the most. The way his breathing was heavy and his shoulders slumped. His hands still on the desk as he looked down at them. You walked forward to meet the other side of the desk. Leaning forward, a hairs breath away from him; you placed your own hand on his in comfort getting him to look up at you, not realising you were so close, he was slightly startled; confused before you placed a sweet chaste kiss to his lips.  

His eyes grew wide as you beamed at him. His face resembling a tomato at this point as he took his free hand and touched his lips as if it had been a dream. A dream he never wanted to wake up from. The corners of his mouth twitched up into a slight smile until he slumped again.

“You don’t have to, because you feel sorry for me.” He scoffed lightly; clearly unsure of the conversation. 

You sighed; heavy and weighted in your chest before venturing round to him behind the desk, taking his hands in yours. Your thumbs dancing over his knuckles. You looked into his eyes, full of sincerity and an air of confusion, like he always had. You smiled, lightly but constant.

“Your love…” you began.

“It’s not unrequited, Hoseok.”  

“I don’t share my food with just anyone, y’know.”  You chuckled dryly as you squeezed his hands in yours; mouth suddenly resembling a desert as you poured your emotions out into the open air. Letting your words cascade over him as he shot up to look into your eyes; previously focused on his feet. His eyes were wide again; almost comical with raised eyebrows and mouth open. 

“What? How?” He asked, mind befuddled.

You laughed again; this time louder.

“It just, happened.” You shrugged with a smile before being enveloped in a hug by strong arms as he pulled you against him. surrounded by the smell of lemon tea and cedar; planting a kiss to your hair, never wanting to let you go again.

“I’m the happiest man in the world.”

“You already are” you countered; voice muffled due to being pressed into the crook of his neck.

“Nope.” He giggled, popping the P at the end with a shake of his head, before planting another kiss to your forehead as you gazed up at him.

“Only when I’m with you.”

© sunnysidejoon - 2021 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.

Hope you guys enjoyed! I take requests so please do ask 😊

Love Always

Mac 🧡💜

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

The Moment I Knew

*Not my Gif*

Request: Hi! Could you write an imagine where James ditches reader (who's an insecure and anxious babe) on her birthday or something and she puts all the pieces together like how distant he's been, how he always spends time with Lily and all. Then Sirius notices something's off so he helps her and maybe later they end up together and she accepts Lily and James' relationship? I was listening to "the moment I knew" and got this idea, sorry if it's a shitty one. Thank you for your time! - 🍑

Requested By: Anonymous (🍑)

Paring: James Potter x Reader, Sirius Black x Reader

Post Date: 3-26-20

Word Count: 3.2K

~Master List~

~Harry Potter~

~Requests (Look here please)~

*This is the song mentioned in the ask if anyone wants to take a listen*

In all the years you’ve known James Potter, he was never one to break a promise. If he promised to help you practice for quidditch tryouts, he’d help. If he promised to show up to the three broomsticks for butterbeer, he’d be there. He was your best friend through thick and thin, every significant moment in your life after you met him then included him by your side. It wasn’t long before you realized you had a crush on the glasses wearing, curly black-haired Marauder.

But yet, lately something felt off with your relationship.

Lily Evans became the new apple of James’ eye. Sure James has been flirting with her for years but you didn’t think he was serious. Lately James has stopped acting like his typical self when trying to win her affection. You hated to say it, but it was almost like he was acting more mature. You didn’t blame Evans, or even James, because based on how James was acting, he seemed happier. In all honesty you hoped he liked you back, but the realization became more and more apparent that he didn’t a week before your birthday.

You were sitting with the marauders in the common room, Remus sitting in the lounge chair and Peter was curled on the floor next him. Sirius and James sat on the edge cushions of the couch with you draped across them, your head on James’ lap and your feet on Sirius. Your eyes were closed as you listened to the boys coming up with a prank to pull on the first years. James’ hand was mindlessly playing with your hair. You tried to hold back a smile, enjoying the feeling of his fingers in his hair.

You were barely listening before feeling Sirius tighten just grip on your ankle. “Y/N, what do you think about it? Got any ideas?” He asked referring to their prank planning. You opened your eyes, looking around at the four boys as they wait for your input.

You barely got your mouth opened before a voice that certainly wasn’t yours spoke. “Lilypad!” James yelled at the sight of the red-haired girl entering the common room. Without thinking, James stood up and headed her way. It wouldn’t have been completely awful if when he stood up, he didn’t knock you off the couch.

But alas, he did.

“Woah! ...ow.” you groaned as you landed on the floor. You lifted your head up slowly, seeing James rush over to Evans. Her lips fell into a delicate smile when she saw him, pushing part of her hair out of her face. You were too caught up in watching James and Lily that you didn’t even hear Remus, Peter and Sirius call out to you, making sure you were alright.

It wasn’t until Sirius grabbed your hand gently before you looked away. His brows were knitted together as he stood over you, turning you on your back.

“Are you alright love?” He asked as you nodded, sticking your other hand up for him to help you up. Sirius relaxed a little at seeing you were alright, and he helped you to your feet. He snuck a glare over your shoulder, seeing James was still completely unaware of his actions. You hid the creeping heat on your face as James and Lily came over to join the lot of you. Sirius gave you another once over before falling onto the couch. You smiled at him, rubbing the slight burn on your arm from the carpet.

By the time you realized you were still standing in the middle of the room, James and Lily had taken the spots on the couch. There would’ve been enough room for you to squeeze in between James and Sirius, but not quite making it comfortable. James was talking to Lily when you decided you were going to just sit on the ground, but you barely began to move to the ground before Sirius reached his hand out for you again and stopping you. He didn’t say anything, but he stood up, letting you take his seat.

“You don’t have to Pads; I can sit on the floor.” You told him, offering him a small smile.

“No. You’re injured now. You’re on the couch.” You rolled your eyes, adverting them from Sirius as he held up your arm, showing you the faintly red mark on your elbow.

James’ eyes snapped up to meet yours. “Injured? Y/N what happened?” You shook your head, ready to tell him that it was nothing before Sirius spoke up.

“You threw her off the couch, prongs.” He deadpanned as James’ eyes went wide, suddenly realizing what he had just done. James quickly apologized over and over again before you told him it was no big deal and you took Sirius’ spot. Sirius grinned down at you before sitting on the ground in front of you, leaning back and resting his head onto your knees.

The next few times you’ve been hanging out with your friends, you found James’ attention to be rather occupied with Lily. You’ve tried not to let it get to you, but you couldn’t help but feel less and less a part of James’ life. He was still your best friend but lately he’s been showing up late when you were supposed to hang out to the point where’s he’s practically missed it. You didn’t want to bring it up to him, nervous that he’d tell you to lay off, so you endured the pain your crush and best friend was bringing you and carried on with your life. Carried on with the constant knowledge James would rather be with Lily than you.

Today was your birthday. Finally, you were guaranteed a day with James with no interruptions. He promised. He wouldn’t break a birthday promise, would he?

He was going to take you to the three broomsticks and then around the shops in Hogsmeade, buying you anything you wanted. Then at the end of the night, the marauders promised you a party in the common room. Needless to say, you were excited for today. You waited for him in the common room, feet bouncing as you sat on the couch, waiting for the familiar flop of his hair to bust through the door. You couldn’t remember the last time you and James had the chance to hang out without your friends, it must have been a while now.

“Happy Birthday!” someone said as they plopped down on the couch next to you. You pulled your eyes away from the door turning to see a head of black hair next to you, only it wasn’t your best friends.

“Thank you Sirius.” You told the boy who’s smile brightened on his face. You smiled back at him, taking glances at the door every now and then as Sirius raised his brow. It was only then did he realize.

“Where’s James?” he followed your sight, both of you eyes locked on the door.

“Dunno. He’s coming though. He said he’d be here.” Sirius nodded his head, frowning slightly at the knowledge James of what James was doing. He wasn’t blind, he saw the way James had been slowly but surely ditching you to hang out with his ‘Lilypad’. Sirius didn’t blame Lily, and really, he didn’t blame Prongs, he was sure James had no idea what he was doing to you.

You glanced at the clock on the wall, finding out that somehow amongst the day you sat here for 3 hours.

He wasn’t coming.

“I think I’m going to go.” Your voice was so quiet you weren’t sure that Sirius could hear, but based on the look he gave you, he had. You stood off the couch, wrapping your hands around your stomach and refusing to meet Sirius’s soft gaze. You barely started to wake away before Sirius grabbed your hand, pulling you back.

“Y/N-“

“I’m fine Pads. I promise. He’s probably just busy.” You tried to hold back the tears you knew were threatening to fall as Sirius’ grip loosened, letting you tear your hand away from him. He watched you run off to your room before falling back on the couch. He couldn’t believe James ditched you.

If you could’ve skipped your party that night you would’ve, but you need to keep your head up. You didn’t want people thinking less of you for skipping your own birthday party. You pushed yourself off your bed, thankful your crying stopped hours ago as you cleaned off the makeup that smeared earlier. Staring at yourself in the mirror, you couldn’t help the thoughts going through your head.

Of course, he would choose Lily over you, she always looks perfect and here you were crying over a boy who was in love with another.

You shook your head ignoring the rest of the thoughts as you looked to your supply of makeup, choosing to go with a little mascara and red lipstick. Slipping on your party dress and fixing your hair up, you began to feel a little better, hearing Lily and Marlene come up the stairs and into the room you all shared.

Their jaws dropped when they saw you and for a second you were worried you looked bad. You crossed your arms in front of your stomach, trying to hide yourself and raising your brows worriedly at them to ask for input. “You look beautiful! Happy birthday Y/N.” they cooed as you sighed in relief. They brought you in for a hug before the three of you all walked down together. You could hear the music playing before you reached the bottom of the stairs, but you couldn’t hear any voices. You looked between the girls who played innocent, running down the rest of the steps without you as they giggled. You took a deep breath before finishing the rest of the way down finding out the lights in the common room was off.

Your feet barely hit the last step before the lights switched own and the sound of Happy Birthday filled the room. You felt the air leave your lungs as you looked around. It was more than you deserved, and you knew it, but then again, this is the marauders you’re talking about. And you are one of the most important people to them.

Throughout the song, you couldn’t help but look towards James. His arm was slung around Lily who clung onto him as they sang along. You tried to pull your eyes away and when you did, they landed on Sirius. He was singing the song but no where near as happy as everyone else. He was locked on your face, his own drooping with sadness was the last notes of the song was sung. His jaw was slacked open and he has almost unmoving before the sound of clapping made him jump, knocking him out of his daze.

You gave everyone small smiles, not wanting the attention for much longer yet it was no use. Everyone wanted hugs and to say happy birthday and you let them, eager to just reach your friends. The moment you did, you sighed deeply, hugging Remus, Peter, Sirius, and James.

You hated the way your heart pulled when you looked into his hazel eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it. I promised you we’d go, and I didn’t show.” James told you as you plastered a smile on your face.

“It’s okay. I’m sure you were busy.” James shook his head, grabbing your hands.

“There’s no excuse Y/N. I just lost track of time when I was with Lily and-“

“James! I said it’s okay.” You cut him off, not wanting to hear about him and Lily right now. He smiled at you and the butterflies in your stomach set off. The two of you separated as you paid attention to the party and everyone trying to get your attention. You didn’t look back at James for a while, not wanting to stir up your emotions in the mist of the party.

But yet, in one single second that plan went to shit and you were staring at James and Lily lip-locked in the corner of the room.

You tried to breathe; your body was begging you to, but nothing was coming in. One quick look around the room told you no one was getting your attention. So, you ran out of the common room in hopes no one saw you leave your own party. You regretted not heading towards your room instead of out of Gryffindor room completely because now you were faced with halls of Hogwarts and no where to go.

Your feet never stopped as you took off and you weren’t paying attention to the few students still in the halls when you wiped the tears out of your eyes. The third-floor bathroom was the first place you could think to go, somewhere no one ever goes thanks to Myrtle and soon you were outside, pushing the door open.

You felt stupid. You felt dumb and ridiculous. But most of all it was the moment you knew you were heartbroken.

“How could you be so foolish?” you asked yourself in the mirror, looking into your own E/C eyes, seeing how broken you knew you looked.

“You aren’t foolish Y/N.” You practically jumped out of your skin at another voice, spinning around to see Sirius Black standing in the doorway.

“What are you doing here?”

Giving you a sad smile, he walked over to you slowly, fully expecting you to shrink back from him but you remained unfazed and allowed him to stand next to you. “I saw you run out. Had to make sure you’re okay.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, looking down between the two of you. “I’m fine Siri. Just had to get out of there.”

He nodded, though the action went unnoticed by you. The silence between the two of you only made you shake silently, wanting more than anything to be alone. Sirius might know you left, but he didn’t know why.

And as if Sirius could read your mind, he spoke. “I know.” Your eyes shot to his grey ones. The way his lips upturned into smirk made you a little uneasy until he grabbed your hand. “I know how you felt towards James. I know you saw them kiss and that’s why you ran out.”

A bitter laugh bubbled out of your mouth as you threw your hands in the air and leaned against the wall in defeat. “Was it obvious? D-Did he know? Is that why he disappeared on me?”

“He didn’t know.” He rushed out, quick to get you to look back at him. “He didn’t know.” He repeated quieter. The silence returned only this time it was a nice change. You moved back from the wall to look at your self in the mirror. Your makeup was smeared again, and your hair was a slight mess from you running. Sirius tapped your arm, making you glance at him over your shoulder to see him extending you some paper towels. You exhaled as you took them from him.

Sirius watched you clean yourself, picking yourself up from your breakdown as he smiled. He was thankful you never asked why Sirius was the one to come after you, why he was watching you because he didn’t want to tell you he’s been watching you for years, barely able to look away from the beauty in front of him. He didn’t want to tell you after you just got your heart broke.

“Siri?” you whispered as Sirius hummed back a yes. Your makeup was cleaned as you turned around to look at the boy and Sirius’ heart leap out of his chest. This you, the one not hiding her insecurities behind makeup, this you is his favorite. “Thank you for always being there for me.”

“I’ll always be here, love.” You couldn’t help the way that word seemed different coming out of his mouth right then. Almost as if he was hiding something from you. Sirius stayed with you for a little while more until you were ready to return to your party. The two of you walked slowly through the hall until you were outside the common room. “You ready?” He whispered to you. You took a deep breath and nodded, saying the password and opening the door. The party was still going but as soon as you and Sirius walked in all your friends were relieved, asking where you went. You didn’t want to tell them the truth, trying to come up with a lie in your head.

“I wasn’t feeling good. Ran out a while ago and Y/N saw and chased after me.” Sirius lied for you as you looked at him with wide eyes. He saw you staring as all your friends seemed to fall for it. His lips pulled to a smirk as he shot you a wink. You ducked your face down in embarrassment as a hand came into your view, no doubt belonging to Sirius himself. “Care to dance?”

You didn’t hesitate to take his hand in yours, letting him pull you into a dance.

Things after that night seemed like a dream. James and Lily sat the rest of you all down in the common room to let you all officially know they were dating and for the first time in a long time, you weren’t hurting. Sirius pulled you aside after, asking if you were alright. You stayed silent at first, just looking into his concerned eyes before you smiled, reaching forwards to grab his hand.

“Yeah, I think I’ll be fine.” Sirius blushed a little under your gaze, a side you get often and yet a side you definitely wanted to see more of. It didn’t take long for you to realize that James relationship with Lily no longer was hurting you because you were so simply falling in love with someone else.

You spoke with James himself about your friendship and about him skipping his friend dates with you. He swore that he’d never ditch you again and Lily seconded that, promising that she’ d never try to stand in the way of your friendship with James.

The most dream worthy moment though was the day Sirius and you decided you were done pretending you weren’t falling for the other. Sirius made the first move, well more like James made the first move for Sirius, telling you to meet by the black lake for a group picnic only for it just to be Sirius and you. It was one of the best moments you could’ve asked for. The picnic dates became a regular thing between the two of you and James and Lily soon joined, James boasting about how brilliant his plan was. It took all of three seconds before the three of you were throwing grapes at your best friend.

The four of you all fell into a fit of laughter, rolling onto the ground together. Sirius peaked over at you, seeing the smile on your face as he leaned over, pressing a kiss to your lips. You smiled even wider at the touch as you pressed for another, hearing Sirius’ deep laugh as he obliged. James and Lily both made fake disgusted sounds at you both despite the numerous times they’ve seen you and Sirius kiss. Sirius stuck his tongue out at them as you buried your head in the crook of his neck, unable to control the laughter again.

That was the moment you knew you’d be alright.

A/N: Happy Birthday 🍑 , lol thank you for not minding I call you that. Anyways, hope you enjoy this and have as good as a birthday you can get in quarantine. Eat some cake for me! Also I based it off the song and I had never heard the song before so that was fun 😂 I hope this was what you were expecting hon!

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a beautiful dream

Remus Lupin x reader                                                                                Remus is my absolute favourite marauder and he doesn’t get enough love. So in his honour, enjoy this oneshot.

warning: fluff to angst, remus being pessimistic and a few swear words

gif not mine credits to the owner

this is for Ria’s 2k writing challenge. @im-a-writer-right​

word count 4k words

lets begin~

Magic had made many things possible. It made many things easier as well. But there were some stupid things that in my opinion were stupid. One of those things was the idea of soulmates. Who gave the ministry of magic the right to decide who i was meant for? Well, if i’m being honest at first the thought of having a soulmate fascinated  me. I was so happy to know i had someone out there for me. Well, that was until i developed a crush on none other than Remus Lupin.

We met on the hogwarts express before first year started. I was sitting in a carriage with my oldest and most annoying best friend- James Potter. James was like a brother to me, a very annoying possessive brother. He made sure to sit with me on the carriage and make me part of his group. Basically what was his was mine as well. Anyway I became the fifth marauder. The  mom of the group. It was upon me to look after them (mostly James and Sirius because they were both big babies who needed loads of attention.) and make sure they didn’t do anything too stupid (I obviously failed most of the time and they always ended up in detention) Some people even called me their mom. 

I’m getting off track. Where was i? Ah, yes. The whole soulmate thing. Basically on your 16th birthday you develop a connection with your soulmate and can hear their thoughts and feel their emotions. Isn’t that like an invasion of privacy?My friends say that I’m just being difficult because i have a crush on someone else and cannot accept the prospect of him dating another person. I hate to admit it but they are right. 

my 16th birthday was in a few weeks and James decided that i needed a huge birthday party and there was no way he was taking  no for an answer. After a lot of protest from me and a lot of bribing from James and the occasional puppy dog eyes from Sirius I gave in. They started giving out duties to everyone. I while on my prefect rounds had to help Sirius sneak out to Hogsmeade where he would buy drinks. I made him promise not to get any alcohol but was he going to listen to me? No. The days flew by very quickly and i was not happy. I made my unhappiness very vocal among my friends. They were surprised because i was one of the few who hated the soulmate system. To get to the bottom of the whole situation, the night before my birthday, they surrounded me asked  no demanded I tell them why i suddenly hated the whole soulmate thing. After beating around the bush for i long time i sighed and said,” I have a crush on Remus okay? I can’t bare the thought of someone else being his soulmate.” “Aw honey, don’t be sad. What if Remus is your soulmate?” Lily said, trying to lift my spirits. It was a good effort but i was still dejected. They saw my sad state and dropped the subject. I was grateful for that.

We chatted a bit more after that but i was tired so i went to bed. I could have slept in but no, at 8am Lily, Alice and Marlene blew a party horn so loudly near my ear that i thought there was fire and woke up frantically. My face must have been a sight to see because they burst out laughing. Meanies. To make my morning even more eventful, the boys were waiting at the foot of the staircase waiting for me to arrive just so they could wish me so loudly that the entire gryffindor tower woke up. “That was unnecessary.” I scolded them. “Yes mummy.” said Sirius and i shot him a glare. “So y/n any plans of finding your soulmate today?” James asked throwing an arm around me. I had totally forgotten that from today onward i could another person’s thoughts. Ugh. 

“Well?” Said James looking hopefully at me. “I don’t like the whole idea of soulmates anymore, you know that James.” I said looking at him. For some odd reason, i felt a wave of sadness wash over me. Weird. I ignored it and threw my arm around the Sirius’ shoulder. “So Pads what do you have planned for yours truly today.” He put his arm around my waist and head on my shoulder. Jealousy washed over me. Why was my soulmate feeling all negative emotions? It wasn't wierd to me because sirius was like the brother I never had. "Well love, we have planned something extra special for you." "Tell me what it is." I have him puppy dog eyes. "You'll get to know soon enough." I gave him one more pout before giving up. "Ok that's enough." Came a voice. Remus. "Let's go eat breakfast." I nodded and followed him and the marauders to the Great Hall. Lily, Alice and Marlene had already been seated there and saved me place. I sat down across Remus who was picking at his food. The full moon was close so he probably was unhappy. "Remus are you alright?" I asked. "Yeah, just peachy." I decided not to press further and let it go.

I chatted with the girls for a while before telling them I'm going for a walk. They seemed happy to see me leave probably because I knew they had a surprise planned for me before my party. Anyway, I sat under a tree near the Black lake and thought that I might as well contact my soulmate since we're stuck together anyway. I closed my eyes. "Hello?" No reply. I tried again. "Hello? Soulmate, you there?" Maybe they weren't 16 yet. (Remus' birthday is in march so if your birthday is before March 10 just pretend it's not)But wait, that's not possible. I could feel their emotions just a few hours back. Was my soulmate ignoring me? Uh, rude. "Ok mr soulmate if you don't want to talk to me that's fine. I'm as unhappy about this soulmate rubbish as you are since you're clearly ignoring me." Guilt. Aha caught him.

"I wasn't ignoring you. I was busy." Oh so now he replies. "Well that was rude." "I'm sorry." Atleast he apologized. "So what year are you in?" Wait that was a dumb question. He's probably in his sixth or seventh year like me. "I'm in my sixth year." "Oh! Me too! Which house are you in? Im a gryffindor." "Yeah, I'm a gryffindor too." Okay. So a gryffindor sixth year. I probably know him. "Do I know you?" "Probably. What's your name?" "Y/n." I felt shock wash over me. After that there was no reply just a series of shit shit shit. The cursing stopped abruptly when he probably realised I could hear him. He started singing dance like a hippogriff to cover up his thoughts, I think. I guess my soulmate likes someone else too. I decided to return back to my dorm until the girls decided to take me to my surprise.

When I walked into the dorm I expected it to be empty and not filled to the brim with balloons? Why were there a million balloons in my dorm. "It's for your surprise. Crap." Ah so he is one of the marauders. Oh dear god please not James. I can't see him in that way. This is bad. Then again maybe it isn't the marauders. They could have told the other boys what they were doing. You never know with those boys. They covered my eyes with a cloth and then sirius picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. Dear god what is happening? I was carried a long distance before I was set down on the grass. "Can I take off the cloth now?" "Not yet, not untill Lily and the others arrive." I waited for about five minutes I think when the cloth was removed. "Happy Birthday!" They all cheered. They had brought to me to my favourite spot on the courtyard near the Black Lake. Lily had brought a birthday cake that was frosted with (f/c) frosting. "Aw guys that's so sweet of you! You didn't need to do all this for me!" "Come off it (y/n/n)! You do this for us every year! You deserve it!" I smiled at them. How did I get so lucky?

"you deserve the world" Thank you soulmate I appreciate that. But that comment made my suspicion that my soulmate was one of the marauders stronger. I was determined to find out who it was.

Remus' pov

After we gave y/n her cake and gifts the girls dragged her to their dorm for some girl time and to get ready for her birthday party. When we returned to our dorm, I shut the door and sausy. "Guys. I have a problem." "What's up dear moony? " Sirius said. "I found my soulmate." I told them. "Finally! I guess they turned 16 recently. But why is it a problem." "It's y/n." Sirius smirked and James snickered. "So our darling star (your nickname cuz of your animagus being a wolf.) Is your soulmate. And that is a problem why?" "I can't date her. Im a monster what if she hates me?" James sighed. "Remus, if she hated you she wouldn't have become an animagus for you, she wouldn't hang out with us and she's have stopped talking to us a long time ago." "He's right you know, and besides y/n has a crush on you." Peter piped in. She likes me? Y/n likes me? I thought.

"woah there soulmate I don't even know you. You mustn't always listen to rumours." Oops I forgot she could hear my thoughts. Dang it. "Also soulmate please stop feeling 5 emotions at the same time because it's very confusing." Yep it was our sassy y/n alright. "Sorry." No reply. I started to get ready for the party. I dressed up in a simple shirt and pant. I read a book while waiting for the boys to get dressed. "Nice book. Whatcha reading?" Came her voice. "Little women. It's a great book." "I must read it one day then. Or maybe I can just hear you read it." I smiled at her. She was so sweet. "Yes I know I'm sweet." She commented sarcastically. I laughed and shook my head. "So soulmate when will I know who you are?" "You won't like me if you know me." "Don't be so pessimistic, you're just like my friend... REMUS? IS THIS YOU?" Shit shit shit "no it's not Remus." "I don't believe it. Remus, what are you so scared of?" "Look I'm not Remus and i dont have time for this right now. Goodbye."  How could i be so stupid? Before i could think anything else, the boys had gotten dressed and were ready to head downstairs. 

y/n was waiting in her gryffindor robes for Sirius at the portrait hole so he could go and get the required supplies while y/n did her prefect rounds. Luckily for me i didn’t have rounds today. I would have to deal with the consequences later. She saw me and looked like she wanted to say something but Sirius dragged her out saying that if it got too late they would get caught. She sighed and reluctantly followed him out. “Okay, what’s going on between you two?” “She figured out i was her soulmate and i got frantic and told her i wasn’t.” “Why would you do that?” “I don’t know, i got scared.” James just shook his head and patted my back before returning to charming the room to be soundproof and putting the decoration up. Not long after, the party had started. Sirius and y/n had returned. she went up to get dressed. She returned wearing the most beautiful (f/c) sundress and I think my heart just stopped.

"take a picture it will last longer" "what? I wasn't staring at you. I don't even know where you are." "Don't lie Remus we both know it's you." I didn't reply. The party started and it was loads of fun. Everyone was dancing and having a gala time, but I couldn't take my eyes off y/n. She danced with her friends and laughed with others. The party went on untill midnight when everyone retired to their respective dorms. I knew I was going to have to face y/n in the morning and I was scared. But I put my thoughts aside annd went to bed. I couldn't sleep much that night. I ended up waking up at 6 and decided to read in the common room. I sat by the fire side and started reading.

'I want to do something splendid...something heroic or wonderful that won't be forgotten after I'm dead.'

"I don't know what, but I'm on the watch for it and mean to astonish you all someday." Said a voice. One I know very well. Y/n. "I read the book you know, after you said that I was good. I finished it in a day." I avoided her eyes feeling embarassed. I felt betrayal wash over me. She was definitely hurt. "Why did you lie Remus? I thought we were friends?" "I'm sorry. I couldn't bring myself to believe that someone like you is my soulmate." "What do you mean?" The hurt in her eyes was replaced by concern. "You know what I am y/n. I can hurt you in so many ways. You deserve someone who will be able to take care of you. Someone who doesn't need to go running every full moon." "And yet we're soulmates. Remus, if we were not good for each other we wouldn't be soulmates." "You were the one who didn't like the soulmate system." "That was because my heart belonged to someone else, you. I had a crush on you since 4th year. I couldn't accept that maybe we were just destined to be friends." "I liked you since third year too." "Then why won't you just let me love you? I accept you Rem. If I didn't I wouldn't have become an animagus for you. I wouldn't be friends with you. I love you and I care for you. Accept that." She smiled at me and held my hand. I could feel all the adoration she had for me. "If you're sure." I told her and closed the gap between us. I could feel fireworks and my heart felt complete. All I felt was her lips moving against mine and how happy I felt. I pulled away and smiled at her. "I love you too."

Just as the words escaped my lips I heard wolf whistles and cheering in the background. "Our moony has finally grown up." Said James wiping a fame tear and sirius laughed. I looked at y/n and she hugged me. "Im still pissed at you for earlier but I can't stay mad at you for long can I?" I laughed and pecked her lips. I was finally happy.

*****

We were sitting in the common room a few moths later when James and Sirius ran inside yelling at each other. Lily sighing as she walked behind them. "Y/n your children are fighting again." Y/n glared at Lily and I snickered. She elbowed me hard. "Firstly I am not their mother during the school term. Secondly why are you two bickering again?" "You clearly act like it." Marlene muttered and y/n just ignored her. "James hexed snivellus and blamed it on me and now Minnie is behind my life!" "James! That was wrong. When will you ever act your age?" "See?" Marlene yelled. Once again she was ignored. Sirius and James kept bickering when all of a sudden sirius looked at me all seriously. "If y/n is our mother does that mean you are our father?" Marlene and James burst out laughing and y/n looked like she wanted to strangle Sirius. "SIRIUS BLACK FOR THE LAST TIME I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER IN SCHOOL!" The whole room fell silent for a few seconds before laughter filled it again. This time y/n joined in too. I love her. "I love you too you know." She turned around and winked and I felt my cheeks heat up.

Seventh year came and went by quickly. We were on our way home for the last time on the Hogwarts express. Everyone was discussing their future plans. I stayed silent. Who would employ a werewolf? Y/n literally sensing my discomfort came closer to me and held my hand. She shot me a small smile and I instantly felt better. I studied her profile and realised how much she meant to me. The train came to half. We walked out slowly taking in the feeling of the train. We stepped out of the carriage and hugged each other goodbye. "We must meet up often." Said James who had an arm wrapped around Lily's waist. (They were soulmates. Big shocker am I right?) Everyone nodded in agreement. Everyone started to walk away in their respective directions. I held y/n's hand and told her to wait a bit. She looked at me questioningly. "I've been thinking-" "uh oh." She snickered a bit. "The last time you were thinking you thought I would not want to be with you." I glared at her a bit and she suppressed her laughter. "Marry me." "What?" "You heard me. Let's get married. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I felt various emotions wash over me. Shock , fear, love and finally pity. "Remus I love you too but aren't we tok young? We just finished Hogwarts. I would love to marry you. Just, not yet." "Alright thats fine." She could tell I was hurt but made no comment.

A few days passed we barely spoke to each other. Suddenly out of the blue she aparated into my apartment. "Ok, let's do it. Let's get married." "Wait. Seriously?" "Yes." She pulled me in for a kiss. "I thought about it and I want to spend the rest of my life with you too." I was ecstatic! Over the moon! She laughed at my reaction and I fumbled to pull out my mother's ring. "This was mum's before she died. And I want you to have it." "Rem, this is so beautiful. Thankyou." "Let's go tell the others and your parents and my dad." She nodded. We told everyone and they were all happy for us. We got married a few months later in a small ceremony. We moved in together in a cosy apartment which we bought together. A few months after that Lily and James got married. Life was looking better for us. Lily was pregnant. Soon after that a dark lord called voldemort was on the rise. He was killing muggles and wizards alike. Everyone was terrified. On July 31 1980 Harry Potter was born. He was the ray of light in our dark lives.

All of us spent our time together savouring every minute. Then came the prophecy of the chosen one. The child born on the end of July who could kill the dark lord. He had decided that it was Harry and was out for his blood. Lily and James had to go into hiding. A fidelius charm was placed on both sirius and y/n. Only Sirius' name was disclosed. Then Peter was put under the charm as well. Then the dreaded happened. Voldemort had come to know about the Potter's hiding spot and killed them. Baby Harry was alive but lily and James were dead. Sirius was put in azkaban without trial although it was the rat Peter who gave out their location.

Y/n who had been studying to become a lawyer in the wizengamot fought for custody of Harry after he was placed under the care of his horrid aunt. After all, she had the right to do so as she was his godmother and the Potter's will stated that Harry was to be under her or Sirius' care. I saw her come home in tears after our best friends had died. She promised herself to avenge their death. It killed me to see her blaming herself so much. After a long year of her hard work, Harry's custody was finally passed onto us. I was so proud of my wife. The next thing y/n had to do was prove Sirius' innocence which was an easier task. She declared herself as the second secret keeper and after being put under verataseruim Sirius was declared an innocent man and Peter was being searched for. Things started to look up again. Y/n started to laugh again. She spent most of her time with Sirius (who temporarily moved in with us) Harry and me.

"Remus, do you want children?" She asked me one day out of the blue. "Ofcourse I do. But what if they inherit my lycanthropy?" "Then we'll love them as I love you." I hugged her tight. A few months later we got the news that y/n was expecting. I felt immense joy. I had never been happier. Harry was already 7 by then. He lived a happy life surrounded by people who love him. When he started Hogwarts he had a little god sister to look after. We named her Hope after my mother. She loved Harry and Harry loved her. She didn't inherit my lycanthropy which was a relief to me.

Everything seemed fine for many years until voldemort was on the rise again. We fought a battle once, we could do it again. With that thought in mind, y/n and I stood together, holding hands as the death eaters attacked the beautiful castle that I once called home. We stayed together the whole time. When I was duelling a death Eater another one came from behind me. He muttered a curse. "No!" Y/n called jumping in front of me taking the hit of the curse. She fell down on the ground with a deep gash on her chest. She started breathing heavily. "Remus.." "No no you can't die." I sobbed. "Im not worth dying for." "Oh darling, you are worth everything. Don't cry Rem, think of the good times. " "No" I sobbed. "Kiss me one last time, hug me one last time, tell me you love me one last time and tell Hope that she's my world." I sobbed but obliged. I hugged her and kissed her hard. Pouring out all my sadness into it. "I love you y/n. Always." "I love you too my love, always and forever..."

3rd person POV

Just as the words died in her lips, his world had ended. He felt a numbing silence wash over him as the reality of her death hit him. Everything felt around him felt like a blur because all that was left of his beloved was a beautiful dream.

[remywrites5]

How about “OH you’re jealous!” with wolfstar? 🥰

           It was tradition in the Gryffindor house to have someone wear your Quidditch jersey the day before a match. After days of begging, James had finally gotten Lily to agree to wear his. Sirius had given his to Marlene, or more accurately she had insisted he give it to her until he’d conceded and handed it over. Besides, they were good friends and it wasn’t like the person he actually wanted to give it to would ever wear it.

           Or at least that’s what he’d thought until Remus showed up for breakfast wearing one of the Prewitt brother’s jerseys. Sirius hadn’t been able to keep his jaw from dropping in shock. “What are you wearing?” he asked, his tone a little sharper than he’d meant it.

           Remus blushed and ducked his head down. “Fabian asked me to wear it,” he explained, sitting down next to Peter. “I’m kind of swimming in it a little bit but it was nice of him to ask me.”

           Sirius stared at Remus in absolute mortification. “Fabian asked you to wear his jersey,” he repeated dumbly.

           “Yes,” Remus said, giving Sirius a funny look. He glanced over at James. “Is he broken or something?”

           James shrugged. “I think he’s just caught off guard.”

           “You bet I am!” Sirius said indignantly. “A Prewitt jersey, honestly?”

           “What’s the big deal?” Remus asked, shifting uncomfortably. “It’s not like anyone else asked me to wear one.” Sirius could have sworn Remus shot him a dirty look but it was gone before he could be certain.

           “You – you – “ Sirius sputtered, his mind suddenly going blank. He didn’t have words to express just how angry he was that Remus was sitting there wearing a bloody Prewitt jersey. He was going to give that shifty twin some choice words the next time he saw him.

           Remus rolled his eyes. “Very eloquent, Pads,” he said sarcastically, pushing his eggs around his plate.

           Sirius took a savage bite out of a piece of bread and stared daggers at Fabian’s jersey while he chewed. He thought maybe he could do a vanishing spell to get rid of it but he didn’t think Remus would appreciate being half naked in front of everyone. Sirius knew he was self-conscious about his scars. He thought smugly about the fact that Fabian Prewitt had probably never seen Moony’s scars. It made him settle a little bit and he could eat his breakfast without tearing his food to pieces.

                                                           ***

           “Here,” Sirius said, holding out his jersey to Remus. It was just the two of them in their dormitory at the moment as Prongs was busy with Evans and Peter was sent to procure snacks for the Gryffindor celebration the next day after the match.

           “What’s that for?” Remus asked, his nose wrinkling adorably. Sirius had to tamp down the urge to kiss his nose to smooth it.

           “It took a lot of convincing but I finally got Marlene to agree to switch,” Sirius said, pushing his jersey towards Remus again, practically shoving it into his arms.

           “But I’ve already got a jersey,” Remus said, still clearly confused. “Besides, the day is already half over.”

           Sirius huffed in annoyance. “Just put the stupid thing on, okay?”

           Remus’ cute little furrowed brow turned into a scowl. “Why should I?”

           Sirius blanched for a moment. He honestly hadn’t expected Remus to fight him about it. He clearly was amendable to wearing someone’s jersey so what was the problem? “You can’t tell me you honestly want to wear Fabian’s jersey instead of mine!”

           Remus’s lips suddenly curled into a smirk as if he’d just figured something out. “Oh, you’re jealous.”

           Sirius’ carded his fingers through his hair in a way he hoped was nonchalant and not teeming with frustration. “Don’t be ridiculous, Moony. I don’t get jealous.”

           Remus rolled his eyes and took a step back, making Sirius’ jersey fall to the floor between them. “Then why would it matter whose jersey I wear?”

           Sirius bent down and snatched his jersey up off the floor, stalling for time so he could come up with an excuse. “Because Fabian Prewitt is a git,” he finally said, working his jaw for a moment in disgust. “And you’ll probably get his prattishness all over you if you wear his jersey for too long!”

           Remus crossed his arms over his chest, looking thoroughly unconvinced. “What’s the real reason, Pads?”

           Sirius kicked at an imaginary piece of dirt and rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “Come on, Moons, don’t make me say it.”

           Remus scoffed. “Yes, my mistake, why would I want you to admit your feelings for me? How silly of me!” The sarcasm was practically dripping off him.

           Sirius whimpered and could barely meet Remus’ eyes. He hadn’t expected this conversation to go like this. Of course Remus couldn’t just take the damn jersey and be grateful that Sirius was saving him from wearing something so utterly ridiculous looking. “You clearly already know I have feelings for you. Why do I have to say it?”

           “If you can’t even say them to me when we’re alone then how are we ever supposed to get somewhere, Padfoot?”

           “You know I’m not great at the whole feelings thing,” Sirius reminded him. He had hoped this would go a lot smoother, that he’d find a way to confess his feelings for Remus. But it had been two years and he was no closer now than he had been before. Every time he tried it was like the words just got caught in his throat. “I just cock everything up.”

           Remus reached out and took Sirius’ hand. “Do you want me to say it first?”

           Sirius swallowed thickly and then nodded.

           “I love you, you daft git.”

           Sirius snorted and finally lifted his face up, meeting Remus’ expectant gaze. “Let’s just be friends.” He couldn’t help himself.

           “I fucking hate you.”

           “No you don’t,” Sirius said with a grin.

           “You really are bad at this,” Remus said, shaking his head. Still, he couldn’t fight the fond smile playing on his lips or the warmth in his eyes as he looked at Sirius.

           “I’m mad for you, Moony,” Sirius said, giving his hand a squeeze. “Please wear my jersey?”

           Remus bent down and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Sirius’ mouth. “There, was that so hard?”

           Sirius hummed and leaned in for another kiss. “I suppose not.”

                                                           ***

           Sirius wasn’t prepared for the affect Remus wearing his jersey would have on him. Seeing his name spelled out over Remus’ back in bright gold lettering was the hottest thing Sirius had ever seen. Sirius and Remus were a lot closer in size so his jersey fit Remus much better than Fabian’s had. It was tight across his broad shoulders and it made a funny noise happen in the back of Sirius’ throat any time he moved and those muscles would ripple – distorting the name written across them.

           “I’m dead, Prongs,” Sirius said, fanning himself as he watched Remus during Potions class. Sirius and James were sitting behind Remus and Peter, giving Sirius a perfect view of Remus in his jersey. “I’m dead. You can have my inheritance. Spend it wisely. Give it to all your ginger children you have with Evans.”

           James rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. “He’s just cutting up eye of newts. That isn’t even sexy.”

           “Speak for yourself,” Sirius said, feeling hot all over. He tried to calculate how many steps it would be to get Remus into the nearest dark corner and snog him senseless.

           “So what did you have to promise Marlene to get her to give your jersey back?” James asked, trying to cut one of their newt eyes without holding it and sending it flying into Peter’s head.

           Sirius chuckled as Peter freaked out and tried to get the eye out of his hair. “Told her I’d steal her whatever she wanted from Honeydukes for a month straight.”

           “A whole month?” James asked incredulously. “You know she’s going to abuse that power for all it’s worth.”

           “Oh I know,” Sirius said, sighing heavily. He dropped his chin into his hand and stared at Remus some more. “But it was so worth it.”

           “You’re barmy,” James informed him in no uncertain terms. “Now help me chop up these frog toes.”

           Sirius grabbed a knife and began slicing, nearly cutting off his thumb when Remus bent over to retrieve something from under the desk.

                                                           ***

           As soon as the match was over and Gryffindor had won, Sirius touched back onto the ground and immediately his eyes went searching for that familiar mop of tawny curls. All the Gryffindors came down and hugged the team excitedly, celebrating the win. But there was only one person Sirius was interested in finding and celebrating with.

           Surging through the crowd and grinning at people who patted him on the back in congratulations, Sirius managed to make his way towards Remus. He looked adorable, wrapped up in his Gryffindor scarf and his cheeks tinged pink from the cold.

           “My good luck charm,” Sirius said, tugging Remus forward.

           Remus laughed and let himself be pulled gladly. “I’m pretty sure luck has nothing to do with it,” Remus said softly.

           “Well I guess you’ll have to wear my jersey before every match,” Sirius said, wrapping his arms around Remus’ middle and holding him close. ‘Just to be sure.”

           “Oh right and it has nothing to do with you being unable to take your eyes off me from the moment I put that bloody thing on,” Remus teased, slipping his arms to rest on Sirius’ shoulders. “You better be planning to wash it before I wear it again. You’re a mess.”

           “Well now I’m your mess, Moony,” Sirius said, beaming at him.

           “I suppose you are,” Remus said, feigning a put upon sigh, tangling one of his hands in Sirius’ hair, using his grip to bring their faces together in a soft, tender kiss that had Sirius’ toes curling inside his Quidditch boots. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up, you mutt.”

           Sirius laughed and let Remus drag him away from the pitch. “Oh Moony, you take such good care of me.”

           “Well someone has to,” Remus quipped, leading Sirius towards the Prefect’s bathroom. After a nice long soak in the tub, with an epic amount of snogging that left Sirius’ lips swollen, and a bit of light groping, Remus and Sirius made their way back to the common room to celebrate with the rest of their house.

           Remus had somehow ended up in Sirius’ jersey again with Sirius sporting Remus’ jumper. Sirius wasn’t about to complain, Remus looked really good in his jersey.

           “Oi, where were you two then?” James asked, handing them each a butterbeer.

           “Just getting cleaned up,” Remus said, looking at Sirius over the top of his glass as he took a drink. “Padfoot was filthy.”

           “Still am,” Sirius said, winking at him cheekily.

           “Ugh, you two are going to be insufferable now, aren’t you?” James made a face, looking between Sirius and Remus. Neither of them were paying attention to him as they were too transfixed on each other. Sirius was chewing on his bottom lip while Remus licked his own.

           “You know it’s kind of crowded in here,” Sirius said, giving Remus a meaningful look.

           “What?” James asked, gobsmacked. Sirius was usually the life of the party, making people dance and do stupid things they didn’t want to do.

           “You know, I completely agree,” Remus said, tilting his head towards the stairs to their dormitory in a clear invitation.

           Sirius grinned and grabbed Remus’ hand, leading him up towards their empty dormitory. Sirius stopped halfway up and tugged Remus close. “You really do look good in my clothes. You should borrow more of them.”

           “Yeah right,” Remus said, huffing in amusement, making the damp curls on his forehead move. “I couldn’t pull off half the shite you wear.”

           “Oh, I think you can pull it off,” Sirius said suggestively, sliding his finger through Remus’ belt-loop and bringing their bodies even closer together. “I have the upmost confidence in you.”

           “You’re an idiot,” Remus said, chuckling softly. He wrapped his fingers around the nape of Sirius’ neck and guided him forward into a kiss.

           “You can call me whatever you want as long as you keep kissing me like that,” Sirius told him, sighing happily. He really was so far gone on the feeling of Remus’ lips pressed against his own. He couldn’t think of anything better that had happened to him in the previous sixteen years of his life. And he would continue to soak each one of them up greedily.

           “Come on, love,” Remus said, leading the way upstairs. “We’ve still got some celebrating to do.”

           “Fuck yes we do,” Sirius said, hurrying up after him.

[foulserpent]

chap1

4000 words - xikeel and ned enter a gate to oblivion, and find it already occupied by some troubled new owners. ned meets an old friend. xikeel flirts with someone who just threatened to throw her into lava. wat will happen next

"This is... Different." Ned stated needlessly.

Xikeel blinked. "Yes, a bit."

They stood just inside a gate to the Deadlands, the volcanic plane of Mehrunes Dagon. This was hardly unusual for the two of them. They had been named the "Heroes of Kvatch" after all, and could barely go anywhere together without the town guard recognizing them and demanding their assistence. As a team, the argonian and bosmer had an almost preternatural talent for navigating this realm while skillfully not dying. It had been a few months since the sack of Kvatch, and this alien plane had already lost its novelty. 

What was unusual was the lifelessness of this island . And the piles of dead dremora soldiers placed in methodical stacks on the rocks nearby, all of their heads severed and dripping black blood down the stakes that ran through their mouths. And the fact that Xikeel and Ned two were standing waist deep in lily pad laden swamp water.

Before finding themselves in an unexpected wetland, the “Heroes of Kvatch” had been on their way back to Bruma from a stressful and ultimately fruitless weeklong errand to the Imperial City. Xikeel had been taking on her morning chore of feeding Shadowmere scraps of meat that the lazy horse had grown too spoiled to scavenge for herself. She had last seen Ned lying in a patch of sun, smoking something that left a pleasant, earthy scent on the nose, and just the slightest hint of sweet burned meat on the tongue.

She didn't rush him. In fact, she meant to join his basking as soon as she finished packing. It would be another three day's ride to Bruma, and the two were in no particular hurry to return to their friend with tidings of "the Mages Guild's library and every book seller in the city was cleaned out of most books on Daedric ritual runes, the only ones we got from your list were Glories and Laments and that one on alchemical uses for every organ in a clannfear, which we're guessing was more for light reading than anything else. Ned got a new sword though!"

Xikeel had just returned the sack of meat into Shadowmere's saddlebag when she found herself frozen. The background melody of insects and frogs had ceased as if they'd been wiped out of existence in the space of a heartbeat. She dimly processed that something was deeply wrong just as air then closed a heavy hand around her, hot and thick in a manner alien from the already oppressive humidity of central Cyrodiil’s jungle. Each breath was a gulp of something horrid that dripped into her lungs with an overwhelming taste of blood and ozone. She felt herself lagging a few inches behind her body. She felt each moment as an age.

The world seemed to take a breath. Tensed itself. Then, something instinctive in Xikeel became aware that time had resumed its normal function, just as the air split with a thunderous crack. A blast of energy knocked her off her feet and into the bush, leaving her stunned and gasping for breath, only dimly registering the colossal splashing noise that followed.

A high pitched whine filled the air. The soft morning light bled red. A gate to oblivion had just opened almost directly on top of their camp.

"Holy FUCK!" Ned yelled.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, they stood just within the gate, soaked and half coated in pond-scum. The water and the corpses of the realms inhabitants were unusual, but now that Xikeel had time to look at this island, so was its layout. They were in a great chasm between two parallel rows of towers, all connected by bridges and almost entirely shattered. At the center was a recognizable sigil keep, but it keeled to the side at an angle that should not have been possible to sustain. Rubble hung suspended mid-fall. Most strangely of all, its top was cleaved off entirely, with the sigil stone and its column of fire visible even at this great distance.

"You think we should even do this?" Ned sniffed. "I mean, what the hell even happened here?"

Xikeel scented the air. Blood, ozone, the smell of dead immortals, swamp. And underneath it all- "Ned, there were argonians here. I am smelling us everywhere!" She looked around in excitement. She began to sniff the air furiously, taking several steps forward.

"Hang on ‘Eel, this isn't right." Ned splashed up behind her.

"Well I am not smelling the smell of hostility, so I'm going to-" the words caught in her throat as her bare foot came down on something fleshy. Something that gave a start. Something that turned on a dime and plowed away through the water with just one swing of a massive tail.

"Ah. Someone is here." Xikeel said simply. The bosmer groaned behind her, beginning to draw his sword as Xikeel continued to stare ahead excitedly.

All was still for a moment. Subtly, the tip of a snout broke the dark water, followed by a pair of hooked horns. Two eyes blinked up at them, glowing dimly with reflective light. No one moved.

The water surged away as a massive form hoisted itself from beneath. A bulky, green  argonian man now loomed before the two of them, squinting through the dim light as he set down an equally hefty spear in the muck. He had wide red eyes, crowned with a rather small pair of horns resembling those of a bull. He flicked his forked tongue at the pair. Xikeel flicked back. He was not difficult to read. Big, but out of his element. Perhaps even scared- his gills flared outwards and eyes were held wide. He held the spear in an unpracticed grip, rather like one would hold a fighting staff. Oh!- she thought. He's just as confused as I am.

The strange man began to form the sound of speech deep in his throat, when his eyes narrowed on Xikeel's companion. He froze. A lily pad dropped from his shoulder into the murk with a fat plop. She heard Ned inhale sharply, before feeling his hand clumsily grasp at her shoulder and then lean as if he'd lost his balance. She stumbled under his weight, shooting him a questioning look, but his gaze was locked tightly ahead. Ned had the unmistakable look of a man seeing a ghost. Well, Xikeel had questions and no time for concerns of this man's corporeality.

"Hello, why are you h-"

Before Xikeel could speak another word, the water boiled and surged all around them. Dozens of argonians were rising from the murk and bearing down on the interlopers. The alien waters of the deadlands had been hiding an entire troupe of armed soldiers.

Every one of them appeared to hail from more deep-marsh tribes than Xikeel could count. They were scaled, scaleless, even feathered, all wearing little armor and many fresh wounds. The foremost soldiers crowded in, spear-tips lowered towards the interlopers. There was great murmuring, yet no one moved, as the troop seemed to await a signal.

How could she have been so stupid? This was a textbook ambush setup. They had probably walked directly over the hidden soldiers, staying perfectly still at the bottom of the water until their prey was surrounded. To be fair - she supposed, the deadlands of Mehrunes Dagon were not a textbook ambush location for a group of deep-marsh argonian soldiers. She stayed quiet as she observed, ignoring Ned's hand dug tightly into her shoulder. Something was off. Most of them bore the same look of confusion that had tugged at the first man's features. Their hands shook and their feet shifted. She sniffed. These were not trained soldiers.

The mass of soldiers rippled and awkwardly parted with sheepish expressions as a muscular and substantially smaller woman pushed through the front line. She was an unusual looking sarpa. And, Xikeel noted, she really was quite handsome. Her iridescent black feathers shed water like those of a waterfowl, yet she possessed the same fishlike gills as Xikeel's more reptilian stock. Unlike the other soldiers, she was fully armored in what appeared to be wamasu hide, treated for water and embroidered with beads. Even more unlike the other soldiers, her entire body radiated poise. Her feathery crest flagged erect, held almost as high as her spiked chin. With a grunt, she thrust her spear into the muck, and strode forward. The claws on her left hand were filed to the quick, hovering over a cruel looking dagger.

The green argonian saw this and let out a distressed chirp, drawing stares from those around him. A spiky companion glared and elbowed him, but the man let out a sharp hiss and stepped out of line towards his superior. She turned to glare at him. expectantly.  He grasped at words, opening and closing his wide jaw soundlessly until they caught on his tongue and sputtered out.

“(General, Ma’am, this - I know the bosmer. Uh, respectfully, he's not a, um. He's-")

His superior's eyes narrowed in annoyance.

("Go on, soldier.") ("Sorry, he's- Please don’t hurt him).” He finally spat out in increasing panic.

They were speaking Jel! Xikeel was not sure why this surprised her. Had it been that long since she'd even heard her native tongue?

The handsome woman turned, crest low to her nape, and spoke in a deep voice.

“(You know them?)” She jerked the corner of her snout towards the two, eyes narrow. This man far outclassed her in bulk, but looked tiny under her piercing red gaze.

“(The… the bosmer is a friend of mine. He kept me safe, when I was in the imperial’s arena. I don’t know why he’s here, but he can be trusted.)” He replied, using the familiar “he” pronoun to drive in his point.

“(And the saxhleel?)” The man with quill-like spines growled.

“(Ah... yeah, I... dont know her. But please...)” He trailed off.

“(I see.)” The woman’s slick feathers glimmered in the red light as she turned to stare the two interlopers down. “(But you don't give the orders here, Shap-Mota. I have half a mind to throw this mammal-licker and dryskin into the lava.)”

Shap-Mota let out another fearful chirp, looking between the woman and Ned in horror. His teeth were bared, gills held out far enough to show the pink flesh underneath. The general returned the gesture, half his size but bearing down with a practiced confidence that would have said otherwise. The crowd awkwardly waded back away from the two argonians. There would be a fight. Or, judging by how terrified Shap-Mota looked, a thrashing.  

Xikeel barely noticed the drama escalating around her, or the heavy breathing of her friend in the midst of an episode, and had instead been listening in silence and bristling with insult.  These people had wrongly clocked her as an ojel, an outsider. Assimilated and incapable of understanding the language.

“(Ah, excuse me. But you’re speaking my birth tongue, marsh-sister)” Xikeel interjected.

Shap-Mota and the general both whirled around, aggression nipped at the roots. The woman’s twitching crest betrayed a moment of surprise.

“(Interesting. It’s very rare to see a true egg-sibling in Imperial country.)” She mused. Some of the tension drained out of her taut frame, but her fingers still kissed the edge of her dagger. She paced back towards Xikeel and Ned. “(What is your business here?)”

Xikeel hesitated. Telling this woman that she was a shadowscale would easily have her rank most of the argonians present, perhaps even this general herself. However, if her story was later investigated and it was found that Xikeel the shadowscale was alive - and therefore had abandoned her order- the results would be catastrophic. Scales couldn't kill other scales, but deserters almost always wound up dead one way or another.

“(I am on an assignment of absolute secrecy,)” Xikeel bullshitted. "(I close these gates on this assignment, and this one just has appeared before me, as if fated...)" She paused for effect, and began to pace around, dragging Ned limply behind her. "(Yes, it pains me to say, but I cannot give more information, or the consequences may be dire. But I swear on the Hist of my birth that we are on the same side.")

A larger woman with a fishlike face snorted and flared her gills. “(Oh that's just rich. An ‘assignment of absolute secrecy?’ with that?”) She tossed her snout in Ned’s direction. Xikeel dared a nervous glance back at her friend. He still stood with the same dazed expression, eyes glazed and breathing slightly ragged. He was somewhere far away from here. Perfect.

Xikeel hissed dismissively. “(Please. In my field, having dumb muscle around cannot hurt)” she said with a practiced poker face. This seemed to satisfy most of the crowd. However, the large green man glared at Xikeel with a gaze that said he wanted to rip her in half, and a physique that said he very much could.

He opened his mouth and took a step towards Xikeel. "(You-)"

“(ENOUGH about the stupid elf! And get back to your fucking position!)" The dark-feathered woman took a frustrated swing in his direction him, feathers raised in irritation. He bowed back, continuing to glare from under his horns.

The general let out a groan of frustration and closed the gap between herself and Xikeel. She hooking a claw from her untrimmed right hand under Xikeel's chin, tilting it up slightly. 

"(If you are on our side, your business is not secret from a general of the An-Xileel.)”

Xikeel swallowed and flared her gills. “(Fine.)” She did not look at Ned, but prayed his attention would be captured enough to pick up on the ruse. “My name is Thux-Ha” Xikeel announced to the crowd in Cyrodiilic, then in Jel. She stretched out her neck and stood tall, as if to give credence to the name "Snake-Throat". She leaned towards the general, speaking quietly now.

"(I am under service of the King of the Black Marsh.)" she spoke in the old innuendo. "(I assume that will suffice.)"

The argonians close enough to hear rippled in surprise. Most outsiders still lingered under the assumption that the Black Marsh had a king, as if one saxhleel could ever represent the rainbow myriad of tribes that populated the land. To "Serve under the king" was merely to serve Sithis as Its scales, and Its scales were to be respected.

The general's eyes narrowed. She flicked her tongue. Xikeel flicked back. The larger woman huffed, leaning in until their muzzles nearly touched as the two took each other's scent in rapid succession.

Satisfied that "Thux-Ha" did not have the scent of a liar, the general leaned back.

"(She speaks truth)" She announced to the crowd. "(This is a kinsman. You will treat her with the same respect as myself. Believe it or not, this little snake ranks all of you)". She pulled her spear out of the murk, gesturing broadly.

"(Return to your positions. I'll finish dealing with our guests.)"

The crowd muttered amongst themselves, glancing back at the small argonian and elf in their midst, but did not object. They lowered themselves into the water, and began to kick off towards their separate posts. Xikeel counted the tails churning the algae. About fifteen to twenty saxhleel in total. Not counting herself, the general, and this "Shap-Mota" who remained staring at her friend with his hands clenched tight around his spear.

"(You too, soldier.)" The general addressed Shap-Mota. He gave a rather pathetic look at the still dazed bosmer before awkwardly flopping back into the murk.

The general remained standing before Xikeel, watching with narrowed eyes and a wrinkled nose as her troupe finished melting back into the water. Once it looked like they were never there, her piercing eyes returned to Xikeel.

"(Thux-Ha.)" She said, an odd quaver pulling at the edge of her voice.

"(Yeah?)"

The general looked around again, rotating her neck to scan the full perimeter. Then whipped back and dropped her face to Xikeel's level. In one moment, all of her previous poise rolled from her feathers like water.

"(We need help. Badly. Do you have a couple days?)"

Xikeel could barely keep herself from startling. She played off the motion into a shift of the feet, squinting in a smile.

"(Ahh, as I said, I have an assignment of great importance. I am unsure I can make time in my schedule... What is it you need?)"

The general drooped even lower, crest held tight against her neck.  

"(Every. Single. Person alive here is a civilian soldier. The other two troupes all got FRIED by the damned stupid sigil rock, and I am the only damned STUPID fucking ranking soldier left!)"

"(Oh, wow, that's-)"

"(We have one of our mages left trying to get us back to the marsh, and now that it's just me and my fucking auxiliary troupe of unpracticed nobodies left, we've got the GODDAMN dremora harassing us every other day and she can't get anything done!)" The general raved.

Xikeel searched for a response, but was distracted by the sound of splashing. Ned had wandered a few meters away, searching the water where the green argonian had been. He hissed a name. She shook her head and returned her attention to the general.

"(Uh, the gate is right there? You could always leave. Y-")

"(No the hell we can't! This is life or death for more people than you can possibly imagine!)". The general threw out her arms in exasperation, a few downy feathers flying like confetti. She remained in that position, eyes begging the woman's response.

"Shap? Shap-Mota?" Ned was several feet away, whispering at the water. The two argonian's eyes flicked to him, then back to each other. "(Well, what exactly are you wanting me to do? Because I am not sure what you are wanting from me.)" Xikeel said, putting her hands on her hips.

"(Just- Just come have a look at the sigil stone thing. See if you can help our mage. I know you came here to take it, shadowscale, but I believe our assignments here differ.)"

"Frog?" Ned called louder, flapping his hand around in the water as if to summon the man. The general whipped her neck towards him, then back at Xikeel. Her red eyes narrowed in exasperation as she brought her claws to her face yet again.

"(Can you PLEASE tell your elf to shut up?)"

"Ned, the general wants you to please shut up." Xikeel called over her shoulder.

Ned spun around and gestured wildly at her, mouthing something that was probably a curse. Xikeel smiled back at him, winking and giving the "okay" signal.

Xikeel turned away before she could see his response. "(I've told him. But I will need to confer with him first, let him know what is going on, yes)?"

The general's body melted with her sigh. "(So you will help?)"

"(I will see what I can do.)" Xikeel said casually, checking at her filed claws. "(Though, I would feel much better about taking this time off my assignment if I were to know your name, friend.)"

The general startled slightly, looking a little sheepish.

"(Ah, yes I - Ah - suppose we're of the same rank. It's Kot-Veesk.)"

"(Pleased to be working with you, Kot-Veesk.)" Xikeel smiled. 

Kot-Veesk stiffened back into her military poise, hands clasped behind her back.

“(You'll be doing a great service to me, and to the Marsh. Meet me by the spire as soon as you're finished)” The general said. Without another word, she strode collected her spear and vanished into the water.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ned finally seemed to have come back to reality as he cautiously approached. "Um, hey Thux-Ha." he said quietly. "Could you tell me what's going on?"

"The general here requests our assistance, and it’s probably pretty much what we were here to do anyway. Maybe. And I expect you to be polite and careful with what you say. A lot of these saxhleel likely understand your tongue and we do not need you insulting them, or compromising our assignment."

"Right." He said plainly, looking awkward.

The fact that Ned did not sass back seemed to indicate his understanding of the underlying message - "I had to lie to them, we’re probably still surrounded,  please in Sithis' name do not say ANYTHING that could come back to bite us"

"Listen, where did that one we saw first go? He was-he was just here a second ago."

"Ah, the green one? He said to them that he knew you. Who-"

They were interrupted by the man himself emerging yet again from the murk, looking around nervously as if he expected the general to descend upon him with the wrath of a god at any moment. Satisfied at her absence, he turned his gaze to Ned with an intensity that burned the air between them more than the open flame of the deadlands already had. Finally, he spoke in near-perfect Cyrodiilic.

“Nedirael? That is you, isn’t it?"

Xikeel turned to her friend in a whole new type of confusion, dropping her arms into the universal gesture for "what the hell is going on?". It was to no avail, as Ned continued to stare past her with a face twisted into a crossroads of relief and absolute agony.

"Hi, Frog.” He responded in a wavering voice.

“’Nedirael’???” Xikeel hissed.

‘Frog’ dropped his spear and practically lunged for the shell-shocked bosmer. Xikeel instinctively reached for her knife, only to be stopped by a sight more unexpected than some long delayed enactment of revenge.

Shap-Mota had bent down and pulled the bosmer into a gentle embrace, emitting a pleased rumble as he eagerly pressed his forehead against Ned’s. He then rubbed the bridge of his snout against the other man's face, slow and savoring, in a gesture Xikeel knew well as an affectionate greeting. A very, very affectionate greeting. Ned seemed to know this as well, as he shakily returned the gesture, eyes still wide. The only sound was the two men’s horns awkwardly clacking against each other.

Shap-Mota finally pulled back, still holding a slightly limp Ned by his shoulders.

“It is so good to see you, old friend!"

"It's. Yeah it's.." Ned trailed off, his yellow eyes starting to look bloodshot.

"Are.. you okay?" Frog cocked his head. Ned had suddenly become very interested in the murky water still lapping at his own legs. His eyes locked downward, lips trembling.

“I thought you died.” Ned said flatly.

Shap-Mota recoiled slightly, hissing faintly in confusion.

"Wha- How?"

"Are you kidd-You were being dragged off the killing floor the last time I saw you, I-" Ned's voice caught in his throat. Shap waved at the air with his hands as if grasping for words. "I... I was released! They carried me out after that... I, ah, know I was not allowed to say goodbye, but I figured at least one of the guards might have told you?"

Ned shook his head, looking like he'd just been kicked in the stomach. He laughed without humor. "Uh, no. I asked for you and they always just said they didn't know, didn't care. You... You know how they were."

The argonian was silent for a moment.

“They just released me after my last match. Said my sentence was up. I wanted to stay and wait for you, but... Well, I'm sure your argonian friend has told you about how the Hist started calling our people back." He spat the word 'friend' like venom, glaring at Xikeel. She was about to say something, when he shook his head and continued. "I... I'm so glad they freed you, too. I wish I could have stayed to see it.”

"Yeah, uh. So do I." Ned murmured, half to himself.

The two stood in a morose silence, bridged by Shap-Mota's now limp arms still grasping Ned's shoulders. Ned finally stepped back out of the man's grip, rubbing at his eyes a little too hard. His knuckles were coming away wet.

Xikeel made up her mind as his breathing began to hitch. This was probably none of her business.

"Stay where I can find you, old man." She said to Ned, walking off towards the spire and not waiting for a response.

[creationcitystreet-em]

His Southern Belle 1

Masterlist Full book 1 summary in the link

Chapter 1

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC (face claim: Rose Leslie)

Word count: ~2450

Summary: Maddi starts her new school in Brooklyn and meets some new friends.

Warnings: none

Author’s Note: I started this fic when I was still in high school, and I have worked really hard on it since. I’m not a fan of some of my writing from earlier chapters, but I don’t want to change them until I at least finish writing the entire story. I will be updating this fic here on tumblr one chapter a day until I am caught up with where I am at on the other platforms I’ve posted it. If you’d like to read ahead of that schedule, you can check them out on from the links on my masterlist. I just also wanted to make the fic available here on tumblr with the rest of my fandom interactions, so this is the plan to do that!

Unless otherwise indicated, all date entries are from Maddi’s POV.

September 5, 1932

I stood in front of the small class while my new teacher introduced me. I was in my best knee length dress trying to make the best first impression but I quickly realized the style in my hometown was very different from that of teenagers in New York. The girls seemed to have a little more money than my family as they wore nicer clothes and styled their hair to the newest fashion. My long red curls were probably a little too messy and I didn't wear the same socks and shoes as the them. I tried not to show how uncomfortable I felt when our teacher asked me to say my name to the class. I smiled and said "My name is Madeline Bennett, but my Mama and Daddy called me Maddi." I immediately heard laughter from the students and it made me feel twice as self conscious. It must be my accent, people in Brooklyn definitely sounded different than those in Tennessee. As soon as the teacher let me sit, I chose the only empty seat next to small and skinny boy with blond hair. He smiled at me but it was not cruel like the other kids when I walked to my seat, so I gave a small smile back.

During lunch, I sat alone until I heard the sound of a boy talking in front of me, "hey new girl, you know I can show you around if you want. I know some great places we can sneak off to together." I politely declined as I could tell his intentions did not seem innocent. He continued to push "Come on, look I know a lot of people laughed at you in class, but I can keep you safe baby doll. Once you're with me, nobody will be laughing." I immediately looked back down at my food trying to ignore the group of boys as they snickered behind the nameless boy who talked to me. I could tell this was probably a trick considering they were clearly still mocking me like before, and I just wanted to be left alone. I tried to hold back tears as I thought about how much I wished I could go back home with my family. I didn't want to be in Brooklyn hundreds of miles away from the only home I ever knew. I didn't want make new friends or learn how to live with a new family I barely knew. I wanted my safe little town where everyone knew who I was and nobody would dare pick on me unless they wanted my brother going after them. I missed my brother more than I ever would have admitted to him.

Just then, two more boys came to my table and I thought it would only get worse. "Leave her alone Jason, she clearly doesn't want to talk to you right now," the smaller of the two said. I now recognized him as the boy I sat next to in class.

"Alright Rogers, what are you going to do to stop me?" It was a fair questions, the boy was half a foot smaller than Jason and clearly much skinnier than the already developing teen.

"Listen Gally, I know you can see me standing right next to Steve here so you clearly should know when to keep your mouth shut. Now the lady said no earlier so I think you should respect her wishes and take your friends and leave." Jason Gally stared at the taller boy, who looked more like a man, and finally decided to leave. I continued to remain frozen in place after everything that happened, until I saw the two that helped me start to walk away as well.

"Wait!" I called to them as I wanted to tell them I appreciated what they did. They turned around and looked at me and I gathered up all the courage I had left to keep talking despite knowing they will clearly hear my accent. "Thank you for that. I got your name, Steve, but I didn't really catch yours," I said to the taller one.

"James Barnes, but everyone calls me Bucky."

"Well Bucky, Steve, thank you again."

"It was no problem, Maddi right?" Steve questioned to make sure he remembered my name correctly. I was pleasantly surprised and nodded my head yes.

I took a leap of faith and suddenly asked, "would y'all like to sit with me?" They stared at me for a second and I tried to explain myself quickly, "It's just that I'm new and don't have any friends yet. You two were so kind to stand up for me and I just wanted to know if maybe you would want to sit with me." I prayed I didn't just scare the two nice people in front of me off, but then they looked at each other and sat down across the table from me. I started to smile as they began to ask me about where I was from and why I moved to Brooklyn. "I'm from Tennessee, and I moved here to live with my Aunt and Uncle. They're the only family I really have left." they stayed quiet knowing I didn't want to go too deep into that subject just yet. The two nodded and didn't push anymore about it. I was very grateful for that.

It was towards the end of lunch and Steve said "Well Maddi, I'm glad we met you. Bucky is a year older than us but we still hang out after school. Where do you live, maybe we can walk home together?" I told them the general area I moved to and they both eagerly said they lived near there. We made plans to meet after school and for a brief second I thought that maybe moving to the big city wouldn't have been as terrible as I initially thought. I wished I could be back home, but knowing that I would never get to go back, having a couple friendly people here was the best I could ask for.

September 24, 1932

“How has school been going, Maddi?” Aunt Lily asked as I ate dinner with her and Uncle Ryan.

“Alright. I made a couple friends, but I don’t really seem to fit in with the class. They dress and talk different than back home.” I played with my food a bit while I thought about how the last couple weeks have been. Steve and Bucky were definitely very nice to call friends and I liked spending time with them, but girls still gave me strange looks and boys would bother me if I wasn’t with my new companions.

“Well, our neighbors have a granddaughter on the other side of town about a year or two older than you. I’ll see if she has any extra dresses you can have,” Aunt Lily offered. I knew she and Uncle Ryan felt bad for not having enough money to spend on me, but I really didn’t mind. With their two children already grown and moved across the country, they didn’t exactly plan to pay for an extra mouth to feed. Times were hard enough as it was without unexpected expenses. I never actually met these family members before: we never had the money to travel, but I heard about them a lot.

September 30, 1932

I wore my new dress that seemed to match more with the girls at school and it made me feel a little less nervous, but I also felt sad to be giving up more and more from my life in Tennessee. I sat with Steve and Bucky at lunch like I did everyday, and we talked about frivolous things until I asked Steve what was in the book he always carried around.

“It’s a sketch pad, I like to draw,” he said shyly.

“Can I see?” I asked and he hesitantly handed me his sketch pad and I flipped through the pages in awe. Each piece of paper had beautifully drawn pictures of buildings and landscapes. He had a few with people, but one close up of a young woman and man who looked in their early 20s. “Who are they?” I curiously questioned.

“That’s my parents,” he said quietly. “It’s from a picture when they were newly married. I don’t really remember my dad, he died in the Great War.”

“I’m sorry,” I said hoping I didn’t make him feel sad as I knew how it felt to lose a parent. “I lost my ma when I was young too, not as young but still I was 5 when she got sick.”

“Is that why you moved?” Bucky asked me.

“No, I still lived with my daddy and brother, Alex, until this summer when a storm hit and they both died. I was with a friend when it hit and a tornado took down my entire house and my family inside.”

“Jeez, I’m sorry Maddi,” Steve said as I fought back a few tears thinking about what happened.

“Don’t worry about it. I was lucky to have Aunt Lily and Uncle Ryan to take me when they heard, and now I got to meet you two so that’s good I guess.” I tried to look towards the better things in situations but it was always hard.

“Well, you’re officially our friend so there’s no getting out of it now,” Bucky said with a smirk.

“Only now it’s official? What has been the last month then?” I asked with a laugh.

“A trial friendship,” Steve stated smiling.

“Yeah, just to make sure you weren’t crazy or anything” said Bucky.

“I’m glad y’all think I’m worthy of being your friend then!” I winked at them as I continued the joke. We all laughed as we finished our food and headed back to class for the day.

December 24, 1932

“The snow is so beautiful on Christmas,” I sighed as I walked through the park with Steve and Bucky like we sometimes did together.

“It sure is, but I’ve always wanted to see snow where there were no buildings in sight. Just miles of it with nothing else to mess the blanket of white up,” Steve told me as we saw children running through the already played in snow.

“That is a sight to see, but I think that's just wasted? Look at how happy all this available snow makes everyone, that’s something worth drawing.” I said this as I knew that was one of the reasons he probably liked the idea of untouched snow: to be able to draw the scene. “Draw me and Bucky!”

“What?” Bucky questioned, not sure what he had to do with this topic.

“Draw us playing in the snow,”  I requested with a smile. Bucky quickly got the idea and ran towards a clean pile. He made a snowball and threw it directly at me hitting me on the shoulder. “Alright Barnes, you have it coming to you now!” and I laughed while I ran to make a snowball as well except I missed when throwing it at him. He laughed at me until I made another and hit him square in the face. I heard a chuckle from Steve and I looked over at him sitting on a nearby bench watching us and making small rough sketches in his book. “Come one Steve, put it to memory and come play with us!” He looked slightly surprised for a second until he put his book down and came over to join our snowball fight. We did this for about an hour until we sat down on the bench to rest. Steve quickly went right back to his book to continue his scene he started on. We sat in silence for a while just taking in the day.

“What are your holiday plans, Maddi?” Bucky asked.

“I’m not sure. We haven’t really talked about it. We’ll probably go to Mass tonight and I got a small present for my aunt and uncle tomorrow. I don’t really expect much of a present for myself; besides, my favorite part has always been Christmas Eve Mass. My daddy and Alex and I would go and then always visit mama after. I guess I can’t see any of them this year since their all buried in Tennessee.” I had never really thought of that until now and it quickly took away all of my joy from playing in the snow before. “They would have liked you guys,” I added before they could reply. “You're both gentlemen and passionate about what you care for.”

“They’d like Bucky,” Steve tried to clarify as he continued to draw.

“No, they’d like you both,” I told him with confidence. “Especially you, your heart is much more kind than this silly guy sitting next to me,” I laughed as I sat between them and gestured towards Bucky.

“Hey!” Bucky said with a smile. “Just because it's true doesn't mean you have to say it!” Steve just stayed quiet and had a slight blush on his face.

I put my arms around both their necks and said “thank you for making Brooklyn more bearable.”

“You did that,” Steve said as he looked at me and I smiled back at him.

December 25, 1932

There was a knock on the door and I went to answer it. When I opened the door, Steve stood there waiting and I gave him a surprised smile. “Hey,” he started. “I know today is mostly spending with family so I’ll try to be quick. I just wanted to give you your present.”

“Steve, you didn’t have to get me anything!” I began to feel bad as I had nothing to give in return.

“It’s nothing, here.” He handed me a piece of paper and I saw it was a beautiful drawing of Bucky and I in the snow from the previous day. I just stared at it for a few seconds in awe before he continued, “Sorry it isn’t that detailed, I was trying to finish as quick as I could and the shading might not be-” I cut him off by hugging him.

“I love it!” I said as he wrapped his arms back around me. “I love the art you make, it’s so good. Thank you for giving me one, it really means a lot.” We both let go and and he was redder than I had ever seen him before.

“Well, I’ll keep that in mind,” he said with a chuckle. We then said our goodbyes and he went back home to spend the rest of the day with his mother.

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