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makos-ribcage · 9 months

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Make your heart feel a little better ㅡ ༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝

[] - baizhu notices your sh scars

𓇼gn!reader (wrote it with a fem in mind, but realized i didn't wrote anything pointing towards that, in case i did and didn't noticed, do let me know)

! - self harm scars mention, insecurities

this is going to be written on my own experiences and how i wish people would react, also how i feel when other people see them, yet i tried to make it as relatable as possible :)

You were a mess, you were aware of it.

You grew up being a shy, introverted person. You went unnoticed most of the times. But as time passed and you grew up, you wanted to be something different, you really wanted to be like those extroverted people you saw, those who can talk freely to anyone, those people that could bring life to anyplace. And you really tried to become one of those people.

But you couldn't, for some reason something was always missing, and it would always make you wonder, "What, exactly, is wrong with me?". Yet you managed to keep your sympathetic made up personality to those who didn't noticed those awkward moments where you didn't knew what to say and said something weird instead, they either didn't noticed or didn't cared. Despite all of that, you were still trying. And as you grew up and talked with more people and made more mistakes that learnt from, you started being more and more convincing.

But sometimes, late at night, you would remember how your personality was made up, and you knew that if you started to act how you really were, you would go unnoticed again. Those late night moments when the little voices in your head calling you names were a little more loud than usual led to certain scars in both your arms. And as you kept growing up, new ones appeared.

You never cared to hide them, when they were few, you would say you got them at a battle, or a cat on the streets attacked you. Once they were enough for it to be suspicious, people were too afraid to ask, it was obvious that if they did asked it was going to be a really awkward conversation, so they would just ignore them. Somehow some people didn't even noticed they were there, you were friendly, smiley, happy and could talk to anyone, how could someone so joyful do such thing? Every now and then you would get someone who would ask why you did that to yourself, but you would just change the topic awkwardly.

As long as no one mentioned them, you would forget about them, remembering only on those nights where new ones would become present. But during the day, when you were putting your little act in front of people, convincing enough to even convince yourself that you were actually happy, you would forget about them, and even see them as something stupid you did when you were feeling "kinda" sad.

That morning you were helping Baizhu collect herbs for the pharmacy, you two met each other not too long and discovered you really like each others company.

The first time you talked with each other was when Qiqi put on a commission to the adventurer's guild to some made up fruit that she believed it existed and Baizhu played along with her to see how far she will get. Katherine asked you to go check if it was an actual serious commission and once you asked Baizhu about it he asked you to play along for a bit.

Some weeks passed and now you were keeping him company collecting herbs in a kinda dangerous zone, you were there to keep him company and help him in case he got in trouble.

At some point, he asked you to hand him his basket where he was putting all of those herbs that you didn't even knew the name of but was too scared to ask in case he would think you were stupid.

As you reached your hand, palm facing up, totally forgetting about those silly scars of yours, he paused his movements letting out a small "Oh" sound. Keeping a neutral expression, he didn't look surprised, annoyed, sad, pitiful or anything like that, just his usual face.

You cursed mentally, but didn't move, with time you realized people would only pay more attention to it if you desperately tried to hide it. You kept your hand in the same position, praying that he would react the way everyone does: absolutely not caring.

But your body froze when he took the basket away from you hand at the same time he grabbed your forearm to avoid that you moved it away from him.

He caressed the top of your arm gently, feeling the texture and relief of the scars. You wondered what the fuck was he doing before you remembered the fact that he is a doctor.

"I might have some medicine to help the scars fade... And these ones seem rather... Recent" he finally made a different expression, furrowing in annoyance for a second, and you couldn't help but to feel like a bother.

"There's no need, Doctor Baizhu, they're... Actually old and I don't think they can fade any more, also I don't want to be a bother to you." You said, quickly and stumbling into your words, something that happened to you when you're nervous and something that would giveaway to people that you were actually really awkward with words.

He pushed one of those scars that were slightly purple, and as the pain became present, you tensed your muscles. Baizhu, of course, noticed that.

He looked up to you, a calm small smile on his face as he finally let your arm go.

"You're going to keep me company on the way to the pharmacy, aren't you? I'll bandage them with some healing herbs once we are there, it will be just a second, you won't be a bother". He reassured you. You just nodded slightly, giving up on making him leave the topic and just hoping he will forget the entire deal once he does what he wants to.

Both of you walked together in silence, and you couldn't help but think that you completely ruined any form of relationship with him, totally convinced that from now on, any attempt to interact with him was going to be awkward. Telling yourself that if you were actually happy and extroverted this wouldn't even be happening to you.

"Oh... I forgot to pick violetgrass..." He looked at you, with his typical polite and friendly smile. "Can you keep me company to pick some, maybe... In 3 days?" He asked you, and as those silly thoughts that he hated you disappeared, you nodded, now with a small smile yourself. "Sure!" You said, genuinely happy.

Once you were in the Bubu Pharmacy, on one of the rooms for his patients and sitting at the end of the bed while he was on a chair in front of you, the awkward ambience slapped you in the face once again. Your back arched, your knees to your chest and the arm he was treating extended in front of you.

A small table was next to him, with everything he needed. Some herbs for the scars and a different bunch of others for the ones that were more fresh, so they wouldn't open up again. You really liked the pharmacy, it was quiet and people usually wasn't around there for too long, it had nice views and everyone that resided in it was rather quiet, except Changsheng who just had to made a statement every now and then.

The herbs gave a nice aroma that reminded you of him, you couldn't help but think that you were going to smell like him for a while, and as the warm light of a candle and a bit of sun filtering through one of the windows illuminated both of you, you felt like you wanted to cry. It has been a while since the last time someone cared for your scars in a normal manner instead of pitying you or demanding explanations or just assuming the worst and asking you why. At the end of the day, you didn't knew why either.

But he wasn't demanding anything neither asking any questions, he just genuinely wanted your arms to feel a little better. Make your heart feel a little better.

You switched arms as he finished the one he was working with. "If you ever do it again, come see me right away, alright?" He seemed to think about his words for a few seconds before smiling at you with a slight chuckle. "Actually, come see me before you do it. Let's talk it over instead". He said calmly, staring into your eyes, making you feel save. He definitely wasn't judging you or thinking that you were insane. He wanted to help.

Your shoulders relaxed, and you let your legs hang at the end of the bed as you stared into his eyes as well. "I will." You said finally, smiling at him.

#baizhu #genshin impact #baizhu x reader #gender neutral reader #sh mention #fluff #soft #genshin impact baizhu #makO's works

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thompsborn · 19 days

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i wish that i was homeward bound

chapter 17 - do the things that i'm afraid to do

It feels kind of like whiplash.

That’s the only way that Peter can think of to explain the past few weeks. Not because they’ve been insanely eventful—at least, not by his standards of eventful—but because it feels like the energy is drastically shifting on an hour-by-hour basis. Maybe it’s just the inside of his head that’s constantly whipping around at break-neck speeds. At this point, he’s used to shit being up in the air, but still. This is some uncharted territory.

The most familiar thing is the guilt. He’s been familiar with the taste of it on the back of his tongue for as long as he can remember, often wonders how he isn’t choking on it every time he breathes, but it’s been particularly bitter recently. Every time Gwen talks about his investigation, every time Harley mentions Spider-Man—every time he’s reminded of the fact that they’re involved, that he’s failed at keeping them out of it, that there’s no way to go back and make it so that things were different.

Most of all, every time he admits to himself that he’s kind of relieved.

(“I don’t like this,” he told her.

Gwen didn’t even blink, shuffling through the pages of her notebook with a restless energy. “I know,” she said. “But I don’t like letting you deal with it alone. We already had our drama over this, Pete, and I’m not backing down, so either we fight about it, or we work together. Either way, there’s no way in hell that I’m staying out of this.”

Peter felt off-kilter as he looked at her. His mouth felt warm with the memory of Harley kissing him not even an hour before, and his head felt unclear as he tried to think of the right thing to say that would get her back out of the investigation entirely. The best he could come up with was a flimsy and fumbled, “It’s not safe, Gwen.”

“No fucking shit,” she retorted, rolling her eyes. “I’m not an idiot. I know this isn’t safe, but it’s better to put our heads together. It’s smarter. We’ll figure it out faster like this.”

There were a few options that popped up in his head—details of how many people Marcus Lyman has killed, the fact that there’s at least one more mob boss guy that they don’t even know the name of, just how big these armies are—but something in his chest had settled, and instead he found himself licking his lower lip and telling her, “Harley knows. About the, uh—the investigation.”

She looked up at him, pausing mid page flip, and smiled, something warm and teasing. “Is that what you talked about after I called?”

“Uh, no.” Peter thought about telling her about what they actually talked about—about how Harley likes him, about how they kissed—but it didn’t feel like the right time for that. “But he knows, so he can help, too.”

For a moment, she didn’t move, only blinking at him—once, twice, three times. Then, sounding hopeful, she asked, “Does that mean you’re actually going to let us help? Without fighting us on it or telling us that it’s too dangerous all the time?”

That bitterness had crawled up his throat, threatening to block his airway and let him suffer, but he thought about Harley being there for him so much since finding out about Spidey, and he thought about how his day-to-day felt easier knowing that he wasn’t entirely alone the way he was before. Part of him was terrified and wanted to shrivel up and die at the mere thought of allowing the people he cares about to keep being involved, but another part of him was weak in the knees at the idea of not carrying the weight of it by himself anymore.

Gwen watched him, quiet and patient as he opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, the different parts himself battling it out, until—

“Yeah,” he told her, a gust of sound being carried on a heavy exhale as he gave up the fight within himself. “It scares me, but... I don’t think I can keep doing this alone.”)

#homeward bound fic #parkner #my writing #shes aliiiive.... she's ALIIIIIIVEEEEE

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wilanserulia · 13 days

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FFXIV Write 2024 - Prompt 12 - Quarry

Wilan put himself between the Watcher and Zenos at once. An instinctive motion, more than anything. He knew that the ancient shade wasn’t the target of his pursuit, it was against himself that Zenos bared the steel of his scythe.

Zenos Yae Galvus had been singularly obsessed with the Warrior of Light ever since they first crossed blades a few years earlier, during the Empire’s raid at the rebels’ base of Rhalgr’s Reach. Wilan had lost that encounter. And again he lost when they faced off in the Doman territories. Yet in neither occasion Zenos killed him, waxing instead poetics about how he could one day give him the challenge he desired if he spared him. The next time they’d meet, Zenos had his wish granted. Their final confrontation had been grandiose and spectacular, and saw the Imperial Viceroy finally defeated. But the high of having finally been outmatched proved too much to handle, and he’s been stalking the Warrior of Light ever since for a rematch, transcending even his own death.

A bead of sweat slid down Wilan’s brow. He had his eyes trained on Zenos, his posture firm and resolute, and while his left hand was on the hilt of his sword he did not draw it. He held his breath.

He didn’t like his chances. He had just survived a battle with the elder primal Zodiark, and even sundered as it was he had to resort to the incantation in Azem’s crystal to have a chance. And despite being tired and hurt, he was already rushing back down to Hydaelyn’s surface as conflict and turmoil seemed to have inexplicably sprang out all over the star as soon as he emerged victorious. Although truth to be told though, he didn’t like his chances on a good day either. Not against Zenos.

Wilan actually did enjoy fighting. And if the list of accomplishments from the last fifteen years of his life were of any indication, he was pretty good at it too. But fighting had lost its charm ever since the fate of the world had started depending on his prowess. It had been a very long time since he had the luxury to lose a confrontation without it meaning a lot of people dying. But Zenos saw things differently. In his words, he wanted to burn through the candle of his life, and somehow ended up deciding he was his friend for helping him achieve it. It was utter madness, and it made him extremely dangerous.

In other, perhaps less charitable words, Wilan was scared. He always was, when Zenos was around. He was on edge. He felt in danger. He wanted to turn around and flee, put as much distance as possible between himself and that rabid dog. Which is exactly why he didn’t take a single step back. He stood resolute, his feet squarely planted on the ground, his shoulders wide, his chin high, his eyes staring right into Zenos’s. “I will not fight for your amusement, Zenos.” he declared. His voice was loud, carrying no fear or uncertainty, leaving no room for compromise. A simple statement of fact.

You can’t show dangerous beasts any sign of fear. Because that’s when you stop being their enemy and start being their prey.

#FFxivWrite #FFxivWrite2024 #Wilan #ao3 #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #FFXIV fanfic #final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #FF14 #FFXIV WoL #FFXIV OC #FFXIV OC Lore #endwalker spoilers

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alekthethirdish · 1 year

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If you’re still taking requests The Gang + Zenigata HC’s for reader who’s very kind and patient around them despite readers insistence they (the reader) have a ‘mean streak’ and ‘bad temper’ snapping and showing off that bad temper on someone else?

I am indeed still taking requests! It just takes me a second to get them out due to my job and such. I hope you like it!

Lupin:

Lupin has always admired your patience, especially when it came to him and his jests

He’s grown use to your kindness towards strangers, whether it’s a server at a restaurant, or a kid who accidentally bumped into you

He has never once seen you angry, and has never heard you raise your voice in anger

Even during particularly tough jobs you always seemed to have a smile on your face

So when you kept on insisting that you weren’t always nice and actually had a bad temper, he didn’t believe you.

He was getting you a drink at the bar when he noticed another person flirting outrageously with you. When they got handsy, Lupin felt his own anger slipping, prepared to march over to your defence

Instead he watched in surprise as you grabbed the person’s ear and twisted them down, your voice raised in anger

“Perhaps you didn’t hear me. I said no. The next time you touch me or anyone else will be your last, I promise you that.”

You twisted their ear harder before letting go. You glared after them, hand resting warily on your weapon

Lupin appeared by your side again, setting down the drinks so he could check on you.

“Are you alright?”

You huffed, anger still shone in your eyes when you replied. “I hate people like that, no respect for anyone. I hope they choke on their spit and die.”

Lupin’s eyes widen in surprise at your harsh words

“Easy.” He advises you

He wasn’t expecting your glare to turn onto him

“Why should I? I’m not always kind, you know. I meant my words!”

He has a nervous smile on his face. “Mark me down as scared and horny.”

You scoff and roll your eyes, but can’t help the smile that appears on your face

Jigen:

Jigen has known you to be soft and loving

Anyone you meet you treat with kindness and respect

He admires how you deal with bystanders, especially those who don’t need to be caught up in any of your jobs

Your patience seems endless, as does your kindness

“I’m not always this nice.” You insist

Jigen makes a non-committal noise, eyeing you from beneath his hat

“I’m not! I have a bad temper. You’ve just been lucky to have been spared from it.”

It’s clear that Jigen doesn’t exactly believe you, you had never proven to be anything but kind and patient

So it stops him dead in his tracks when you snap at the person the both of you are holding at gunpoint

“If you don’t shut your mouth, I’m going to make sure you wish you were never born.”

Your voice is cold and yet holds so much anger.

The hostage scoffs at you, you press your gun to their chin, glaring at them

“One more word and I’ll send this bullet through your brain, understand?”

Jigen gently pulls you back, reminding you that this person is a hostage and you can’t just throw that away.

Having seen this side of you Jigen understands just how dangerous you can be

When a kind and patient person snaps, it’s the end of the world

When you snap? There is no helping whoever has unleashed your fury.

Jigen often reminds you that you are not your anger

Goemon:

You and Goemon go together like two peas in a pod

The both of you are the most patient out of anyone in the group

While Goemon offers advice, you offer kindness

There has never been a time that Goemon has seen you be mean, or loose your temper

So he doesn’t exactly believe you when you claim to have a temper and to be unpleasant at times.

“Kindness is a virtue, there is no need to claim to be something you are not.”

“Kindness is exhausting, I wish I weren’t so kind.”

Goemon doesn’t know how to respond to such a comment.

It’s on a job were someone decides to take advantage of your kindness and your patience

Before Goemon has a chance to step in, you snap.

“Enough! You have done nothing but abuse the kindness I have offered you. If it wasn’t for this job I’d gladly leave you for dead.”

You don’t retract your words and the glare in your eyes make it obvious that you mean them

Goemon doesn’t say a word, but he will admit you anger did shock him

When you and Goemon are next alone you apologise for your anger.

“Do not apologise for your anger, you have every right to be angry with how you were taken advantage of.”

Goemon refuses to hear out any objections about your anger and how it makes you a bad person

“You are slow to anger, snapping once does not make you a bad person.”

“But the things I said-”

“Not all things said in anger hold meaning, and they do not reflect your character. Understand?”

Goemon is good with calming you down afterwards, he’s patient and understanding. He never holds your anger against you.

Fujiko:

Fujiko sees you as a saint. Your kindness and patience is boundless.

It’s one of the things she loves and admires about you the most

It’s one of the things she worries she takes advantage of, especially if she manages to snatch a score out from under the rest of the gang

But your smile and reassurance is enough to calm her worries.

“Good one Fuj, Lupin’s face was priceless!”

Because of your kindness and patience, Fujiko notices how people take advantage of you so often. She usually steps in before it can get too far

So when some random person decides that your kindness is a go ahead for them to be a creep, she is ready to step in.

She stops dead in her tracks, eyes widening in surprise when she hears your voice raised in anger.

“I said no. Touch me again and I’ll break each of your fingers.”

A threat mixed with your anger sends a chill down her spine. She has no doubt you will make good on your threat.

She joins your side again and the person hurries away, both of your glares follow them around the corner.

She feels you practically collapse into her, she wraps her arm around your waist.

“Are you okay, lover?”

“Fine. Just…angry.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you angry, I suppose you weren’t lying when you said you could be.”

Her face is soft and understanding when you look at her.

She doesn’t see you any differently because of your anger and you’re thankful for it.

Zenigata:

Zenigata appreciates you more than he could ever express.

He’s always running off to different parts of the world in pursuit of Lupin

And there you are, always by his side.

He’s grown used to your ever abundant patience with him and his shenanigans

Your kindness is a virtue, especially when it comes to comforting Zenigata after Lupin has gotten away again.

He doesn’t know what he would do without you, he’d probably lose his head.

Zenigata is fiercely protective of you as he knows how unforgiving the world is.

He doesn’t want to see you get hurt.

“I can take care of myself, Zeni, I’m not always this kind, I can be mean if I need to.”

“I know you can, I just worry.”

His worry comes to a head when he’s asking around about Lupin and sees a person harassing you.

He moves towards the both of you, assessing the situation.

“Thank you for the offer, but I assure you, I’m fine on my own. I don’t need your help.”

The person rudely ignored you, grabbing onto your arm roughly and repeated themselves.

Zenigata was about to move forward, not happy with how this person was man-handling you.

A loud sound broke the air and the person stumbled back, clutching their nose.

“I told you I was fine, you creep! You’re lucky I’m only leaving you with a broken nose.”

You turned to see Zenigata frozen in place, his mouth slightly agape in pure shock

He blinked, closed his mouth, swallowed, then stood up straight.

You met him halfway, he could still tell you were seething.

“Come on.” He gently grabs your hand.

You let Zenigata lead you away from the person, his hand rubbing your back gently.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just really angry at the audacity of some people.”

He brought you closer, protectively, and stayed with you until you calmed down.

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that.” You apologise

Zenigata isn’t hearing any of it. “You acted as you should, now, where’s that lovely smile of yours?”

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thoselethalarts · 3 months

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𝒮𝓉𝒶𝒽𝓁𝒾 ℋ𝑒𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓇 - 𝒫𝑒𝓇𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒮𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓎

(SSR) Birthday Suit Up (Part 3): “Happy Birthday!”

(Pomefiore Dorm: Birthday Venue)

“Do you have any goals for the future?”

Stahli: Yes! I’m actually working on it now while I’m here at Night Raven College! Stahli: My goal is to one day publish a cookbook of household recipes that have been lost to the ages. Stahli: When you buy cookbooks, you usually see the recipes that have been made popular because a company adopted them, but what happens to the family recipes that were never written down? Stahli: They die, simple as that. Like ghosts, they’re cursed to never experience the pleasure of being alive again. Stahli: I run a blog online that takes submissions of peoples’ favorite family recipes. I write down their stories, and then I do more research on where it originally came from before it was passed down. Stahli: I want to find what’s been lost, remember what’s been forgotten, and compile them together so the secrets of those families don’t die with them!

“How do you plan on doing that?”

Stahli: Simple! I go to the source! Stahli: It’s easy to just write down a submission word for word, but that doesn’t mean the recipe is authentic and original. Stahli: Sometimes what was thought to be a family recipe originally came from a company cookbook, or what was thought to be original hasn’t been that way for over 50 years. Stahli: Often times people change the old, traditional recipe and make their own from it, so much so that the person that originally made it would never recognize it as their own, and those aren’t the recipes I’m looking for. Stahli: I want the old, original recipes, with outdated ingredients and units of measurements. That’s the only way I’ll know what I’m getting is the real, authentic recipe. Stahli: So instead of just going off the word of the descendants… I perform a séance and ask the original chef!

“You… contact the dead?”

Stahli: That’s right! I’ve been doing it for years now. My mother taught me how!

“Isn’t that… dangerous?”

Stahli: Oh, it isn’t nearly as dangerous as you might think~ Stahli: Ghosts aren’t any more dangerous as any living person might be. Most of them are just lonely and want someone to talk to. Stahli: Sure, there are some ghosts that aren’t all that friendly, but those aren’t the ones I’m contacting. Most of them are grandmas and grandpas by the time they pass on. They’re very eager to know how their grandchildren are doing! Stahli: Granted, there have been a few times that I’ve tried summoning a spirit, and someone else will come through instead! Sometimes it’ll be a nasty one that tries to scare and possess me! Stahli: Unfortunately for them I don’t scare that easily. I’ve already seen the other side, and I know there’s nothing there that’s any worse than here, so they always fail and get grumpy with me~ Stahli: Well, even the more mischievous ghosts have stories to tell, so every encounter gives me something new and fun to write about anyway! Stahli: I can’t wait to get my book published~ I hope lots of people are able to appreciate the recipes I’ve collected just as much as the original families did once upon a time!

“I wish you the best of luck on your journey, and happy birthday again!”

/ End.

#ツイステッドワンダーランド #Twisted Wonderland #TWST #twst oc #oc #original character #soul writes #personal story #Stahli Heimer #スターリ • ハイマー

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stormywhitelies · 2 years

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Quiet Kind of Storm

“It hurts. Please just make it stop hurting. I can’t do this again. Please.” Musa’s whimpers were all Riven could focus on even with the din of the fight all around him. He rushed over, only now being able to see her pupils glowing, more red than purple in the dark lighting, wide with fear and pain, so much pain. The sight cut Riven to the core, his hands shaking as he gripped her shoulders. Her knees started to buckle, so Riven shifted his grip, now supporting almost all of her weight as she cried out, her eyes still glowing. “Hey you’re okay, you’re gonna be okay Musa, just focus on me, okay?”

“Mhm,” she grunted more than said before he felt her mind lock onto his. It was so unlike Rosalind’s harsh presence, it was more a feeling of closeness to her. He found he didn’t mind it nearly as much as he probably should’ve, but instead focused on controlling his feelings, trying to project anything that might be able to ease the pain.

Riven was dimly aware that they were still in the middle of a battleground, but as he started to try and move Musa away from the slowly dispersing fight, she collapsed in his arms. He bundled her up, trying to be “more delicate” this time. Once she was safely tucked into his chest, he broke off in a sprint, rushing to get Musa away from the emotions that overwhelmed her. Branches and greenery lashed at Riven’s face, but for once he didn’t care, all that mattered was the fairy in his arms. She looked so small, so delicate just lying there and it scared him. Musa was anything but delicate, yet she suddenly seemed so fragile. He yet again wished he had taken the time to train her, he knew it wouldn’t help with this flare up of her powers, but seeing her looking so helpless reminded him of the heart-wrenching feeling when he realised she was alone in a school full of people who wanted to hurt her. It was something he never wanted to live through again. He never wanted her to be alone again. Her being in danger sent his panic levels through the roof, but of course it didn’t mean anything, she was just a friend. He was allowed to be scared for a friend, right? Especially when that friend had explicitly asked for your help in order to avoid exactly this situation. He had hoped that by leaving her untrained she wouldn’t have to fight the battle, that she would be far away from danger when it came. He should have realised it meant the opposite. “I’m an idiot aren’t I Musa.” An idiot for refusing to train her. For leaving her alone. For not seeing how much she needed it - needed to be able to hold her own in a world that insisted she was merely support.

Eventually, Riven figured they were far enough from any intrusive minds, so he set Musa down, leaning her limp form against his body. “Muse, you can wake up now, you’re safe. C’mon Musa, just open your eyes, show me you're okay so I can go back to beating your ass in training” Riven pleaded. Thoughts raced through his head; what if the sudden overload had fried her mind, what if she had some injury he hadn’t noticed before, what if– No she would be alright, she had to be. He started to give her body a once over for anything he might have missed but found nothing other than minor scrapes and bruises, so he settled for lightly slapping her cheek in an attempt to wake her. What was he thinking, bringing her away from everyone who could help, who actually knew shit about mind fairies, hell about any fairies. Was there something he was meant to do, say, some kind of fairy restart button? Before he could stress more, his thoughts were interrupted with a groan.

“Riv?” Musa’s eyes fluttered open, revealing that they had reverted to their natural colour, Riven had never been so happy to see those gorgeous brown eyes. “Yeah, Muse, I’m here.” “No, no, they’re back, make it stop, I can't– I can't block them out. They’re stronger than before. Please, no, you have to make it stop.” Riven tucked her into his chest, her head fitting perfectly into the crook of his neck, his hands rubbing slow circles on her back. He couldn’t imagine what she was going through, all these feelings rushing into her head, barely knowing which were her own, the weight of everyone else's baggage crushing her from the inside out, all of this along with the screams from the battle, the pain and loss from both sides. There really was no winning. And there was nothing he could do apart from be there and hope his presence helped in some way, so he held her tight even as she howled long into the night, mourning the return of her powers.

Eventually, Musa calmed down enough for Riven to walk her back to her dorm, albeit with her leaning heavily on him. During the walk back he couldn’t help but look down at her, the fairy facing all her fears, going back into a building that was full of emotions and noise and so much pain. It was impossible not to be in awe. She was brave, she was determined, she was amazing and Riven couldn’t believe she was trusting him with this raw, vulnerable version of herself. Despite all his attempts to play it cool, to push everyone away, she saw him, the scared kid hiding behind the mask of douchebaggery. It terrified him.

It took them a while to walk to the main fairy building given the walk was more of a limp as Musa awkwardly tried to make her way without being entirely carried by Riven, despite his efforts otherwise. “If I can’t walk to my room, I probably shouldn't be there, and if the girls see me like that they’ll get all worried and protective, and they won’t believe I can take care of myself. Plus, they’ll probably threaten to castrate you for even laying a hand on me.” Musa hated that feeling, the one she got when her suite mates looked at her like she was some sort of wounded animal that needed saving, like she was weak, like she needed help, the pity that flowed off them were like waves, resounding and all consuming. She knew they meant well, but it was hard. They had no idea what it was like. And besides, she could take care of herself, she had been for years before they came along. She didn’t need to be protected and wrapped in cotton wool, although her current situation may have implied otherwise, given she was literally almost passed out in Riven’s arms. They would take this as a sure sign she was unable to even survive a fight and if they knew how much her powers hurt her, what she had done to get rid of them, they would never stop trying to protect her. She could only improve by failing, by getting hurt, by falling and getting back up again. Riven knew that, and he never treated her as delicate, with his swords or with his words, yes she ended up on her ass most of the time, but she was learning, she was growing. For some reason it was different with him, he never looked at her like she was less, never felt sorry for her, but also encouraged her to improve, most of the time anyway, when he wasn’t being all “you’ll get yourself killed”.

“Fine but let's at least go slowly” Riven pleaded. He was worried, the closer they got to school, the more she seemed to lean on him, her face paling with each step. He was tempted to ask her to stop and lie down for a while, but he knew it would only insult her strength. She needed this, if she couldn’t even make it indoors, she wouldn’t be able to function in life, he knew how she needed to feel useful and capable. He knew because he felt the same way, even when he fucked up all his relationships, drove everyone away, he was still useful, he had his body, his power, his strength and no one could take that away from him, he could take care of himself, he was independent. Musa faced losing this, if she couldn’t get control of her abilities she wouldn’t be able to even stand without help in public situations, wouldn’t be able to go out, have fun, meet new people. The loss of her freedom would be crippling, if their situations were reversed, he didn’t think he would be able to take it.

With time, they eventually made it to her dorm, but upon entering the suite Musa doubled over, crying out, and Riven figured there were just too many emotions swirling in the atmosphere, so he carefully guided her to his room instead. He set her up on the bed and was preparing to go find someone to bunk with before Musa fixed him with the sweetest look. “Can you stay, Please?” “Won’t I be too loud, I don’t want to make you feel any worse–” “It’s a good kind out loud” Riven just gawked at her, so Musa continued, “It’s like how a storm is quiet, it's so loud everything else fades away. And when you’re at home and the thunder's rolling and you’re snuggled under a rug, you just feel safe.” Riven just laughed, but inside he was beaming, she felt safe with him. How could he say no to that? So he climbed up into his bed with her, their bodies fitting perfectly together. Musa curled into his side, and he knew he wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

The next two parts are up on Ao3 if you want to keep reading!

#rivusa #ftws musa #ftws riven #fate winx saga #fanfic #after the battle in s2 #fluff?

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emmym1 · 1 year

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My thoughts on... Ghost-Spider 2019 Annual (#1)

So i wasn't innitially planning to make a separate post for the Ghost-Spider Annnual, however it really surprised me with how much depth and character exploration it had for Gwen. So here we are! The annual seems to take place during Gwen's early days at ESU before all the crazy stuff with the jackal started happening. We see some of her classmates invite her over to grab some food after class, however she refuses stating that she has some stuff to take care of. Although she was actually lying about this because she doesn't want to put them in danger, she states that she has a responsibility to keep people safe and that it sometimes means that she isn't supposed to be around. It's very clear that after the events of Spider-Gwen: Ghost-Spider (2018) Gwen is scared to put even more people she cares about in danger, especially after her band and friend Harry almost got killed because Man-Wolf's gang was hunting her down. It makes sense as to why she thinks that way. Although we later on see her take on a more carefree attitude in issue #3 of Ghost-Spider (2019), so my guess is that this annual takes place between issue #2 & #3. Which would make the most sense given the character development she goes through during this annual. As she heads home she gets trapped in arcade's murderworld. However, it's made for Spider-Man causing it to have a whole different effect on Gwen. In order to escape she has to win a game, which consists of saving someone. As she tries to get through the building where she has to save said person she comes eye to eye with some of Spider-Man's greatest foe's. The first one is the lizard which startles her because her mind immediatly thinks of her earth's Peter Parker. She gets up fast and decides to fight. However she does some thinking on whether or not this lizard thinks, if he feels, if he wish things were different. Which probably comes out of a place of wondering if her Peter would've wished things were different. After some fighting it's revealed the lizard is just a robot, and so would all the other foe's she takes upon be. When she finally defeated the lizard she tells him that he deserved better than be used for someones sick game. Honestly this line also kind of had a double meaning for me, on earth-65 Peter's death after he became the lizard was used as some kind of game by the media and police to get the people to hate Spider-Woman and hunt her down. It's really interesting that even though this game was meant for Spider-Man, it still ends up affecting Gwen and makes her reflect on her past and what happened with her friends and foes. After taking down some more villains of Spider-Man's rogue gallery arcade decides to test "Spider-Man" by having him fight his greatest allies. Ironically enough for Gwen these allies turn out to be some of her greatest foes; being Matt Murdock & Frank Castle. She has a lot of joy in taking down their 616 robot counterparts and at one point even copies Black Widow's signature move that she learned from "viewtube" (Sidenote: i love how robot Frank Castle has part of his robot face exposed like he's the terminator, cool stuff!). During this fight she does some self reflection and talks about how she's been so tired latetely, as if there is a rock around her neck. As if the more she focussed to do the right thing the more she's crushed under that weight (this ties back nicely to her once again experiencing the expectations and responsibilities that she didn't want at the beginning of her carreer as Spider-Woman, so will she make the same mistakes or has she truly grown as a person now?). However her fight with Murdock and Castle rejuvenates her in a way, she kinda enjoys it.

Her final fight is against a robot version of Spider-Man! Who is holding a robot version of 616 Gwen Stacy captive by dangling her from a ceiling. The scenario is supposed to simulate Gwen's death. However due to 65 Gwen being here instead of Spider-Man the entire scenario has a wholely different effect on her. She's pissed that this is what this world thinks of Gwen Stacy, nothing more than a victim and nothing more than an inciting incident for a man in a mask. She's more than that, they are more than that. She's has a really beautiful quote following that moment:

"We matter, and not just because of what we represent. We are people, with our own wants and desires. Our own hopes and dreams. we deserve to be happy, to live in the moment."

I really love this moment and it's consistent characterization because Gwen always hated how 616 viewed Gwen Stacy and always thought that she was more than just her death. I really love how she keeps reminding people of that. This moment in particular was a really good and heartfelt one.

After that speech she realizes that she too deserves to be happy and that for a second she forgot that she needs to want those things for herself too. She realizes once again that she can't just do this alone and that if she wants to become the person she wants to be, she can't do it alone. Ultimately she saves robot Gwen and escapes murderworld. With her newfound realization that she too deserves to be happy she decides to go and take up her classmates on their offer to grab food that she initially declined. The annual ends with the following quote:

"I think I had a hard time being kind to myself -- realizing that i deserve the chance to just... live too."

I really love this quote and it's a super relatable one for me, it's one of those moments that just further reestablises why she is my favorite character.

I really really loved this annual, the dialogue reminded me a lot of her 2015 run and i love the character development she went through. The art was also amazing. All by all it was an amazing read that really managed to surprise me.

#spider gwen #earth 65 #comics #gwen stacy #marvel #ghost spider

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neoninky · 1 year

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TWST Fanfic "Her Lost Voice": Chapter 14

Inky's Links: AO3: Masterlist: Third Story Decided! (Coming Soon)

Chapter 14: Wish I Could Be

"Hi Azul...c-can we talk?"

Elise felt every nerve in her body vibrate with anticipation as Azul gently floated down to the sand and when the light made his silvery hair shine as he drew close. She was surprised her tentacles didn't braid themselves together at the sound of his voice.

"What's on your mind, Elise?" Azul's voice seemed a bit heavier than normal but the male octopus retained his usual polished smile. She laughed a bit at the question.

"Oh well, many things. I hope you don't mind?" when Azul silently rested on his tentacles in front of her with a grin, she continued, "Azul, a lot has happened this summer and a lot is still going to happen very soon. And honestly, I'm very...very scared."

The tremor in her voice caused one of Azul's tentacles to gently wrap around hers once again. The only difference was that Azul did it on purpose this time. He didn't speak, only waited and listened patiently for her to explain.

"I appreciate everything you, Jade, and Floyd have done for me," her smile was soft and tentative, "You three aren't nearly as scary or dubious as people make you out to be."

Azul wasn't surprised that their reputations had proceeded them, however, one thing did puzzle him greatly, "You were right there when Jade and Floyd fended off those sharks and you can still say that? To the guy who got you tangled up in his backfired scheme, to begin with?"

Somehow this made her laugh, "Yes, without a doubt. I never want to get on your bad side for sure. But things are different down there than on the surface. Merfolk are more upfront, ready to fight for whatever or whomever they want. To do whatever it takes to get where they want to be. It is a bit terrifying, but I respect that ambition. You're not only intelligent but cunning which can cause some trouble sure," Azul felt a bit embarrassed as she playfully smirked at him," But...it is something I admire about you. You make your own way in life and don't let anyone stop you. So it's not you or them that I'm afraid of, Azul. I...I'm not sure I want to go back to being a human."

A spark of disbelief, and maybe a bit of hope, suddenly lit up in Azul's mind, "Y-You...don't? But why? ...well aside from your horrendous sibling."

Another soft laugh, "Siblings. I have an older brother as well. He's too busy getting ready to take the throne to really pay me any mind though. But that's the problem: he has a purpose. Even Emily. She'll probably marry some prince or lord from another king or queendom to bring more prosperity to ours. And then there's me...I've felt like an outcast every since my mother died. Everyone in my family withdrew from each other since then. And well, you saw how highly Emily thinks of me first hand. But, in spite of all the danger, I felt more wanted, more at home with the Leech Family, with Luna and Cowrie. And you and your family too."

Azul tensed momentarily as Elise unconsciously scooted closer to him. Instead of pointing it out, he merely asked, "The senior internship you had before all of this, what was it and why did you choose it specifically?"

The princess hummed as she confronted the truth of the matter, "I didn't really choose it myself. My brother did. I went along with it because I suppose it was because it reminded me of Mother. Mother always loved the sea and its inhabitants. She advocated for finding a way to continue our export and import trades via our established trade routes but feared that our ships' fuel would only pollute the waters and harm all sea life in the long run. So I was to intern with our fleets to find a better solution...but honestly? I don't think they were going to actually let me do that much being a royal and all. They were more or less just placating me out of obligation to the crown prince."

"I suppose I shouldn't feel too bad about ruining 'your' plans then?" Azul was hiding true guilt behind a bit of sarcastic banter. Elise saw right through it and decided to play along anyway.

"Feel bad? Not at all. You did look kind of cute when I was furiously scolding you, Mr. Ashengrotto. So I feel properly vindicated," she giggled, making him nearly explode on the spot.

"C-Cute?!" his face grew hot as he sputtered, trying to glare right into her amused face, "I am many things, MISS Coralette, but cute??"

"You're right. Handsome suits you more than cute, Azul."

Her words slipped off her tongue faster than Elise could process them. Now it was her turn to be oh so flustered as she slid away from him, "Um I...I mean, yes that is true b-but-"

"But what?"

Azul was suddenly looking her right in her wide eyes with a gaze that was worlds more unwavering than he was moments before. Elise was almost convinced that he had been body snatched while she blinked but no, that was not the case. Azul felt just as nervous and uneasy as he had since he realized his budding feelings for this girl, but now he was feeling something much stronger than all that. Azul felt desperate to know the truth and it only made him weirdly courageous. He could spin a multitude of reasons as to why Elise Coralette wouldn't desire him just as much as he did her but unlike him, she was far more honest in her words and expression. She let slip a hint of what he wanted to hear from her just now. The moment she realized it herself is when Azul saw her real feelings surface. At least what he hoped were her real, genuine feelings. Her shy, girlish blush. The way her eyes went wide only to dart away from him. This was the same sort of body language and cues she gave off whenever Rielle was brought up to her in the past. Surely it meant what he thought, what he wanted it to mean, yes? YES?

"Elise," he coaxed as gently as possible in his brewing state, "Tell me. Please."

His stormy eyes were the most honest she had ever seen. They were frustrated and pleading as he leaned in. They were alone here. Entirely in their own little world. Knowing that and seeing him this way felt strangely sacred to Elise as she started to close the gap, feeling her whole body give in to its unspoken urges.

"Azul...I think that..."

"Yes?"

The last thread of hesitation snapped as her turquoise eyes locked onto his deep blue steel ones. She took a breath and then a leap of faith before her nerves got the better of her.

"I think that I'm really scared of not seeing you guys all the time...of not waking up and knowing you're right here. I'm scared to become human again because then I'll be away from not only Luna and Cowrie, and the twins, but I won't be able to be with you."

A jolt of adrenaline rushed his system as he took in her words. As eager as he had been seconds before, Azul still felt a part of his mind backhand him with doubt, "When you say 'be with you'...?" He almost looked around as if Elise was talking about someone else. The poor boy was caught between self-doubt and wanting.

She blinked in disbelief before gesturing to him with both hands, "Azul, you are the densest clever person I have ever met. Yes, I mean you specifically! I have feelings for YOU! Do I need to sing it for you?!"

For a split second, Elise was convinced she saw part of Azul's soul leave his body. The boy's eyes froze wide on his otherwise blank face and only his tentacles moved. She half expected one of them to slap him back to the present. Seconds later his soul returned and all his blood rushed to his face, "You...YOOOOU have feelings for ME? Wait what happened to your dream prince Rielle?!"

He suddenly regretted his outburst once he saw the scowl on her face, "Ehem, ok 'dream prince' might be a bit much. Forget I said anything."

Elise crossed her arms as the scowl softened, "I know...I had a ridiculous and obviously one-sided to everyone but me crush on him for the longest time. I thought it was 'love' but...it was just bloated infatuation and wishful thinking. If I didn't feel this time was more genuine I wouldn't have said anything."

Azul suddenly felt like his mother was getting ready to appear and whack the ink right out of him with an arsenal of her toughest spoons, "I-If we're being honest, then...you're right, I am pretty dense. I didn't realize I had feelings for you until this summer even though I've been attracted to you since that day you waltzed into my office and struck a deal with me on your own terms."

Elise's tentacles curled in on themselves as she felt a rush of giddiness, "Really?"

He laughed, "I mean you are beautiful. I always thought so but you had such confidence and wit about you that day. I was so accustomed to having the upper hand and you caught me off guard and charmed me and everyone else around you so easily. It was astounding. How could I not be both impressed and taken with you?"

The princess looked him up and down with all sorts of questions in her gaze, "Is it really so surprising that maybe I see you in a similar light?"

"Oh absolutely," he deadpanned. As happy as he felt, the boy still couldn't comprehend the reality right in front of his face. No matter how far he had come, there was still part of him stuck in the overwhelming shadow of his past.

A sweet smile spread across her face as she tucked a wild strand of hair behind her own ear. Uh oh...that look only meant trouble for him. "Azul, you really have no idea how attractive you are both physically and mentally, do you?"

She scooted closer to him, closing the gap once again but even further this time to the point that her lips were just a whisper away from his. Her eyes held the baffled boy to the spot with how they sparkled. "It's ok that you don't realize it yet," she spoke so softly, "It's part of your charm. But know this, I've been in the company of many, many handsome and witty boys. Please forgive me for realizing only recently that none of them hold a candle to you, Azul Ashengrotto. That is the honest truth."

Stardust was the only tangible thing in existence Azul could equate to how he was currently feeling. He hung on every sweet syllable that left her lips until he finally voiced the feeling that had haunted him for weeks, "I don't want you to go."

Before he could even blink, Elise's soft lips collided with his as her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him into her embrace. His arms encircled her waist as Azul leaned into the kiss without a second thought. For the first time, his stubborn legs didn't have to propel him whatsoever. They just relaxed as the two of them melted into each other.

...and what started as a tender moment quickly turned into panic.

A spark formed on Elise's neck before blooming into a burst of light. In seconds, her tentacles melted away into two human legs, her skin became much lighter, and her eyes dulled and widened with terror. Azul's whole body tensed at the sight of the human girl floating in front of him and couldn't move until a flurry of air bubbles rushed out of her mouth. The octopus quickly braced her into him and swam as fast as he could while yelling for help. In seconds, he and Elise were caught by teal and monochrome blurs that quickly took them back to the landing.

The room echoed with Elise's rough coughing and ragged, desperate gasps for air as Luna and Floyd lifted her from the water. Azul clung to the side, still mostly emersed in the water, staring in shock at the drenched princess. The dress she had worn before lost its vibrant color just like the rest of her.

"Elise, breathe. Keep breathing," Luna carefully steadied her friend as Floyd left to find Jade.

Once she settled, Elise slowly sat up and stared at Azul before looking down at herself, "W-What..."

Everything grew hazy as crystal clear tears formed in her eyes. Any voices speaking to her fell on deaf ears as she began to sob. The twins returned with towels immediately. Luna grabbed one and started to dry Elise off. All Azul could do was watch her cry as his heart sank. Her mouth opened to say his name but it was interrupted with another sob as the boy launched himself out of the water just enough to hold her and whisper over and over again to both of them.

"It's alright. You're alright...it's going to be alright."

Azul's office door slammed shut and locked behind him. Jade, Floyd, and Luna were left to speculate on their own in the empty Lounge. Inside the office, Azul laid Elise down on one of the sofas. Neither one of them said a word the entire time Azul had rushed her down the hallway, carrying her in his arms as if she were light as a feather. She sat sniffling as he paced about the room. He wordlessly stepped into a side bathroom and the sound of running water could be heard. She swallowed down a fresh wave of tears and called out to him in a weary voice, "Azul..."

When he didn't answer, Elise began to worry. Doubt began to pelt her like a sudden hail storm. Now that she was human...did Azul's feelings change? Was everything different now? Too different??

"Azul," she began to sob again. Hearing her cries the boy rushed to her side and held her face. He looked so worn and so scared.

"Are you in pain? What is it?" he asked nervously. Elise just shook her head. Ironic that now her voice was working properly all on its own now and yet here she was...absolutely speechless. Azul felt like he was going to fall apart any second now as he stood back up.

"I'll have a warm bath ready for you in just a moment," he couldn't look directly at her, "I don't want you to catch a cold. After that...you...you can sleep in my room. I'll stay in here-"

Azul felt a sudden tug on his sleeve and saw the desperation in the princess' face. More tears rolled down her cheeks as she silently begged him. She wanted him to stay. She was even more terrified now, "P-Please, Azul. Can you...can you please stay with me? I'm sorry if I repulse you now-"

Everything clicked all too fast and he was overwhelmed, desperate to change her mind and to put an end to these thoughts. Azul sat next to her and hid his ashamed face in her damp hair, "Stop it. You don't repulse me. You could never! That's not why I'm acting like this! Everything just happened so suddenly...I-I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. Please know that I meant everything I said before. Please just give me a moment..."

Several long minutes later, Azul left Elise to bathe in peace and recover. He promised that he would be back very soon, that he just needed to fill the others in. When he stormed back out into the Lounge, his anger was palpable. Jade rose from his seat and began to approach his old friend, "Azul-"

"Fine," his voice was rigid, his eyes avoided looking at any of the eels, "Everything is just fine. Elise is human again. Just as she should be....no additional steps needed."

The twins shared a worried look as Azul began to laugh dryly to himself. It sounded awfully familiar and bitter. So familiar they feared he might Overblot all over again. The look in his eyes was barely sane.

"She loves me. She wanted to stay with me, with us, under the waves as a mermaid. A perfect happily ever after! We even kissed and that triggered her reverting back into a human princess!" he laughed wildly, "True Love's Kiss isn't a load of shit after all! Isn't that wonderful?!"

"Hey Azul," Floyd muttered anxiously, "It's not all that bad, right?"

Azul's tone snapped straight into anger so quickly the twins thought the glass tanks would shatter, "Not all that bad, Floyd?! Oh no NO! Of course not! You and Jade found your mates, won the day, and now can be with them without any obstacles awaiting you but me? The slimy, scheming octopus that fucked all this up from the start? Seven forbid I find the perfect woman and have her return my pathetic affections! Our first kiss literally damned her right back to the shore!"

His voice was raw as his hands shook. Luna could only imagine how upset Elise was. Jade and Floyd stepped forward to try and calm the dorm leader down once again.

"Azul...calm yourself. How are you supposed to make a proper strategy with your head full of so many pitfalls?" Jade placed a firm hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Yeah Azul, take it easy. Octi-chan loves you. Isn't that the most important part??" Floyd drawled as he casually put his hands behind his head, "You wanted to get one up on Rielle remember?"

Azul's bitter mood halted on his dumbfounded face as the twins gave him matching smug grins. He immediately straightened himself up, trying to reform even a shred of the dignity he hurled out the window just now.

"Of course I did," he huffed, "Just not...exactly...like this but..."

"Azul-kun," Luna's melodic tone rang across the lounge from where she stayed seated, "I imagine Elise is just as upset if not more so than you. She needs you now more than ever."

The look in the siren's eyes was genuine kindness. Azul felt it warm his core underneath the surface. She was absolutely right. He needed to get ahold of himself before anything else could be done. He sighed, suddenly feeling embarrassed at his dramatic outburst.

"Forgive me," he pushed his glasses up and cleared his throat, "I must look like such a fool right now."

"Eh, a little bit. Reminds me when we were kids and we had to keep pulling you out of your octopus pot," Floyd started to chuckle along with Jade before Luna appeared between them and smacked both of their arms with a pointed look. The siren hushed the brothers and approached Azul with a smile.

"Azul-kun, your frustrations are very understandable. This whole ordeal would be unbearable for a far lesser man," she gave him a supportive nuzzle against his cheek, making her mate pout, but she ignored it, "You and Elise need to rest. It's late now. I trust her in your care."

The siren sauntered back over to Floyd and gave him a tender kiss, "We all need to rest. Let's leave the next steps for tomorrow, hmm?"

The twins returned to their room and Luna to the grotto for the night. When Azul returned to his office, he found Elise clean, dry, and wearing an extra set of his pajamas as she curiously stared at the books lining the walls. She paused and placed a hand on top of the wooden box that held the enchanted dagger. Her hair was straighter, more of a dark raven color like before. Her tired eyes had faded back into their human shade of minty green. Her body language alone was enough to tell him that she felt frailer now. Azul closed the door behind him and wordlessly went up to her like a moth to a flame. She gasped as he suddenly wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her from behind as he rested his head against hers.

"I'm so sorry," he barely managed to whisper, "I'm so sorry about all of this."

He felt her cold delicate hands touch his and her head gently lean into his. Elise barely moved at all and yet he felt like she was the only thing holding him up right now.

"Don't be..."

By some miracle, the rest of Octavinelle remained undisturbed by the night's sudden events. Inside Azul's bedroom, Elise was snuggly wrapped in his arms as the two of them rested quietly under his blankets. Any other time, he would have felt it inappropriate to have her in his room let alone his bed but after that night, Azul couldn't stand not having her close by. For a while, neither one of them spoke. There wasn't a sound aside from their breath. Not any light aside from the soft aquatic glow from the water surrounding the dormitory itself.

"What happens now?" Elise's quiet voice finally asked, muffled against Azul's chest.

His entire body and mind ached with heavy exhaustion as he weighed his answer carefully, "I'll find a way for you to come back home with us permanently. I don't know exactly how long it will take but I will make it happen. I promise. And..if you so desire...eventually we could...uh...well, we can talk about the far future another time." 'Become mates' is what he wanted to say but somehow it felt like too much of a request to make right then and there. He wanted it to become reality but for now, he just wanted to put her at ease as much as he could.

He felt her shift in the darkness to look him in the eyes directly, "Thank you, Azul."

Azul melted as he felt Elise press her lips to his again. He swore they continued to kiss again and again in the dark until they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning was an immense challenge. When word got out that the Mostro Lounge wouldn't be opening that evening, the entire campus knew something was amiss in Octavinelle. With that said, no one had the guts to ask questions to the towering twin eels or the very exhausted and distracted dorm prefect. No one except a certain redhead.

"Azul...are you alright?"

From the other side of the alchemy cauldron, Riddle watched Azul vacantly stir the pot on repeat like a broken record player. Judging from their last conversation and the octopus' current state, something absolutely devastating must have happened to Azul. And Riddle wasn't too far off.

"...and now she's human again," Azul muttered quietly, still stirring.

Riddle stood frozen, processing everything he just heard, "Oooo...kay wow. That is a lot."

Yes, Azul had told him everything. Everything. Normally Riddle would have flipped his crown over the fact that a fellow dorm leader had been hiding female students in his dormitory but given the circumstances of the very, very complicated situation...Riddle made the rare choice to ignore Azul's blatant disregard of the rules. Plus this did also explain why Floyd was barely paying attention to him lately and who was he to complain?

Riddle did a quick check over his shoulder to make sure the professor wasn't too close by before whispering, "So you need a spell or potion to turn her back into a mermaid permanently. Have you ever made one before?"

Azul sighed heavily before stirring in the next ingredient Riddle had poured in, "Unfortunately even with my thorough studies and experimentation, I have yet to succeed in making the change permanent without some sort of definitive catalyst. Like a stupid kiss."

He had to fight to not roll his eyes at the concept of 'True Love's Kiss' yet again. If he didn't hate it before, he absolutely despised it now! When his grandmother suggested it as a possible antidote to Elise's situation, it sounded like some sugarcoated placation. His face suddenly warmed itself as he remembered their first kiss. Then the second...and the third...and the fourth with her soft form pressed into his under the blankets that still smelled like her-

"You kissed her several times didn't you?" Riddle asked with a very straight face. Azul nearly flung the giant spoon across the room in shock. Before Azul could even string two syllables together, Riddle explained with a somewhat bashful expression of his own, "I remember what it was like the first...couple of times," he cleared his throat and quickly jotted down some notes.

"...Didn't that happen inside the Mostro Lounge?"

Riddle's face turned pink, "I thought we were alone and the moment was too good to end right away, ok!?"

A sudden whipcrack and yell from Professor Crewel made the two boys jump and duck back into their assignment with laser focus.

Elise quietly stared at her reflection in the water as she dipped her feet into it from the Octavinelle landing just on the other side of the Mostro Lounge. They remained unchanged, pale, and human. It was growing late in the day, Azul had told her that he wanted to look into some additional sources in the library before coming back. She began to smile when she saw a familiar black and white shape zip towards her underneath the water's surface. Only when she realized that there were two of them did her breath catch in her throat. Both Cerith sisters' heads poked out of the water as they swam up to her.

"Cowrie!" Elise tried to keep quiet just in case anyone but the twins were outside the door, "What are you doing here?"

The younger sister laid her head affectionately against the princess' legs, "Luna told me everything."

Luna pulled herself out of the water to sit next to Elise as she changed into her human form, "Knowing my sister, I knew she'd want to be here too."

Elise let out a heavy sigh as her eyes grew watery, "Thank you both..."

"I know you probably feel really out of sorts right now buuuut," Cowrie poked the princess' cheek teasingly with the tip of her tail, "You and Azuzuuuu? Ooooooo!! It's about damn time!"

Luna chuckled but still hushed her sister to be quiet. Elise's face bloomed into a glowy shade of pink as she shyly laughed and batted the tail away, "Cowrie stoooop..."

"Is he a good kisser?" Cowrie grinned mischievously up at Elise and Luna gave the poor girl a similar look.

The princess didn't bother trying to play coy and just laughed and rubbed any imposing tears from her eyes, "I love his kisses...I'm going to miss them for a while."

A fresh wave of tears suddenly spilled over as Cowrie and Luna frowned, "What are you talking about, Ellie??"

Elise had made her decision early that morning. She had woken up before Azul and enjoyed the sight of his peaceful resting face. Before she could enjoy it too much, however, she heard her phone buzzing on the nightstand. It was her brother calling.

Thankfully no one else was awake either and she quietly made her way down the hall into a solitary washroom before locking herself inside and answering the phone. Her brother was almost eleven years her senior and rarely took the time to speak with her or Emily. Especially not about anything casual. So when he jumped straight into his reason for calling, she wasn't surprised.

"Big Brother, hello-"

"Elise. I trust you are well," his voice was that of a man on a schedule, "I'm calling on behalf of Emily since you two seemed to have a tiff recently."

Elise rolled her eyes on the other side of the phone. Of course, her sister would wrap the truth up in a polite little bow and label it a 'tiff', "That's one way of putting it, yes. What does she want?"

"You two have never seen eye to eye on much of anything since we lost Mother but we're hoping you can set that aside and attend her wedding. You are still family after all."

A wedding? Already? "Emily is ENGAGED? She didn't mention any suitors the last time we saw each other." Suddenly she was even more furious at her sister for trying to sweeten up Azul right in front of her face!

"I don't see how that matters," the prince said curtly, "Father will be stepping down soon and I want to make sure everything and everyone is taken care of before my coronation. Emily happily accepted the suitor I proposed for her and that ensures another ally for our homeland."

The rest of the information was frivolous compared to what halted Elise at once, "Is Father alright? I thought he was going to wait-"

"Elise, I don't have the time to fill you in on our family's affairs. Especially when you've wasted your time running off to who knows where and disregarded the internship I arranged just for you. Do you have any idea how this will reflect back on me when I have to explain things to your school's administration?"

The princess felt her temper flare and burst all at once. She had had enough. Elise was nineteen years old and legally didn't have to answer to anyone but herself anymore and she'd be damned if she kept quiet any longer!

"You wouldn't have to fill me in after the fact had you kept me in the loop in the first place!" she quietly hissed, "Speaking of which! Did you even stop to think as to why I never showed up for my internship? Or did Emily omit that part? Oh let me guess! Something about me running off with my little slimy creepy eel pets? Just throwing all responsibility right out the window to splash around in the ocean all summer hmm? Well, you know what...believe what you want. I don't care anymore! I'll go to her stupid wedding. I'll say my peace to our father, MY father, and then after that? I'll find my own way in the world without the crown or your help! You can forget you ever had an embarrassment of a baby sister!"

....her brother didn't bother calling back after she hung up on him. No messages. No calls from her sister or father. Nothing. That was that. Elise would give up the royal family name and find a new purpose for herself while Azul did his best to bring her home. To their home.

Luna and Cowrie stared wide-eyed at their best friend as she told them the whole story, both of them absolutely speechless. Elise just sniffled and laughed bitterly.

"There's no point in me staying here now that I'm human again," she rubbed her eyes and continued with conviction, "I won't be gone forever. I just need to go home and set things right. For sure this time. After that, well...there's no way I can graduate on time and get my mage license without some sort of additional study. I'll focus on that while Azul does his best over here. And you guys..."

A lump formed in her throat as she looked at her two beloved eel sisters, knowing everything they had been through their entire lives and just this summer alone. Fresh tears wet her mint green eyes, "You're safe now. You'll both be safe and happy with Jade and Floyd and the Leeches. We'll see each other again, sooner or later. And then we won't ever have to say goodbye again."

Luna wrapped her arms around Elise's shoulders as Cowrie jumped out of the water to hug Elise on the other side.

"Does Azul know?"

He did.

Not every detail but enough to seek help from the library...he just didn't actually say which one.

Madam Lorelei was expecting him any minute now at her usual table at the Leviathan Club. When he entered and rushed past the staff to the second level, both his mother and grandmother were there waiting for him.

"My darling boy," the grandmother said with gentle understanding in her eyes, "Come, sit."

Azul greeted his mother with a hug and kiss on her cheek, not bothering to hide the frustration in his eyes. These powerful women raised him and were far too clever to not notice it on their own. Azul had called and explained most of the situation beforehand but seeing him in person filled in all other gaps.

"So...it would seem she found her prince after all, precious," Madam Lorelei's tentacle lifted the teacup to her red lips.

"It would seem so," his mouth was tight and his voice bitter, "Had I known that pursuing something like this would take her further away from me..."

"Azul," his mother huffed, "Dear Elise returned your feelings. Complications aside, it's a wonderful thing, sweetness!"

"Your mother is right, my boy. I may have had my doubts before but...well, your mother's friend, Madam Leech, had quite a lot of praise for her and her boldness. Besides, this may be a good time for the princess to return to the surface for a time," Lorelei's voice was cryptic as she stared out the windows, "There's a storm brewing across the borders. The further away she is from it, the better."

"What do you mean, grandmother?" Azul asked tentatively. It was no mystery that the two families controlling the city had tensions running high but the waters felt denser than before he left. The worried look on his mother's face spoke volumes as she lowered her voice.

"You boys got those poor Cerith girls out of here just in time. Things have been getting worse between the two houses. Ventuno Muraeni was killed on Leech property just the other day. I haven't seen Indigo Cerith since he came by to tell me you had left for school...I hope he's alright."

Azul had a bad feeling in his gut. He had known the Leech family since childhood. He grew up with this ongoing feud happening right outside his family's door for years. An upset or an event here or there was fairly normal. As long as he or anyone else not involved kept their noses out of it, they were guaranteed safety. But now that the lines had been crossed and blurred between the two families...were any of them safe from becoming collateral damage?

"The dagger I gave her, does she still have it, Azul?" Lorelei suddenly asked.

"I have it. It's safe at my dorm. She has no need for it now so I can return it-"

"Don't be so sure, darling," Lorelei cut him off with a wagging finger, "Before this was a favor for my dear grandson's friend. Now it's personal. I'd rather my future granddaughter-in-law keep it close for the time being. Just in case. She may not need it for any magical purpose but a weapon is still a weapon," she took another sip before giving both her daughter and grandson a sharp look, "Don Leech nor his predecessors have given me any reason to distrust their clan. However, I can't say the same for Don Muraeni and his abyssal scum. We'd all be wise to watch our backs no matter where we are."

Madam Lorelei stood up gracefully from the table as she wordlessly slid a piece of parchment over to Azul before giving one last warning, "Return to school, for now, my dear. I will see what I can do on my end but for now, you were never here and this conversation never happened."

Azul knew how this world of theirs worked, "Of course, grandmother. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule."

Once Azul stepped into the empty Mirror Chamber, only then did he read the parchment Madam Lorelei had given him. His eyes narrowed and filled with more questions than he could count.

Watch out for Proteus, Don Muraeni's eyes and ears.

Tagging: @nuitthegoddess @iscarlettappel @foxwitchaine @1ndigowitch @wysteriadelights @evieyouknow @ladyrosemoon @victoria1676 @aiimee9 @honey-milk-depresso @espada188 @feldya

#neoninky #twisted wonderland #sacred crown chronicles #her lost voice #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #twst oc x canon #octavinelle #cerulamare #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #the cerith siblings #luna cerith #cowrie cerith #indigo cerith #under the sea mafia #more eel mermaids #twst oc schools

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fictionkinfessions · 7 months

Note

If we're going to be talking about canon family, I will once again dive into the weirdness of my life as Stede Bonnet. I still find it funny that I don't know if I am the noncanon sibling or if I had a noncanon sibling because I had a twin brother named Stede. I was a trans man, so after he ran away from his arranged marriage (to the woman canon!Stede married) before they were married and I ran away from my arranged marriage after two kids (same kids from canon, which is weird? I don't think they likely looked the same exactly but I think they may have taken mostly after my side), I borrowed his name.

Interestingly, he was more like canon!Stede in temperament. Which is not to say I wasn't, just, I was the uh, braver twin (not a terribly high bar in some respects, sorry, brother). I also stuck my foot in my mouth slightly less with other pirates after I became one compared to canon!Stede. This, I attribute to being AFAB more than a temperament or personality difference.

I never found out what became of my twin. He and I were attached at the hip for so much of our lives before we were married off (or before he ran away and I was married off). I didn't even resent him for what he did, just thought 'well, that's Stede for you, good for him that he got the courage to forge his own path'. I didn't even allow myself to think I wished he'd taken me with him because that would have been more dangerous for him. Besides, part of me was staunchly avoiding the possibility of him having committed suicide. I preferred to think of him living a happy life somewhere hidden, under a new name, hearing about my exploits someday and laughing at me having borrowed his name (he did give me permission, I'm just not sure he expected me to ever actually do it).

I genuinely loved him. And maybe it doesn't matter which of us was "really" Stede Bonnet because maybe we both were, in our own ways. It is fascinating, though, to ask how to even untangle which of the two of us isn't canon!Stede because, while it may be easy to say "well obviously him, you're the one who lived on a ship and became Ed's boyfriend and had all those adventures similar to what happened in canon", there's part of me that will always wonder if maybe my presence caused the boy who would otherwise have grown up to be canon!Stede to shift away from that path and to put me on it instead.

Ed was the first one I told the whole truth to. And he suggested we try to find my brother. I don't think I could even voice to him that deep down, part of me was scared my brother was dead. But he seemed to understand, and when the truth came out to the crew, he took the lead in dissuading them from trying to talk me into finding my brother. He was a good man, my Ed. And so was my brother. Ed would have liked him. He might've been scared of Ed at first, but once he realized Ed was just a big softie (well, at least when it came to people he could trust), he would've adored Ed, too.

Brother, if you're out there, I hope my fears were wrong and you got to live a long, happy life with whomever you chose, wherever you chose, doing whatever you chose.

#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #ofmdkin #stedebonnetkin #aukin #mod party cat #gamrep #canon family

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fandomsareforlife · 9 months

Text

Spirits In My Head And They Won't Go

Summary: Morro couldn't really wrap his head around the idea that Lord Garmadon was safe. It was just such a violation to everything he knows. So he does what anyone else would do: Isolate himself in his record shop. Hopefully, his baby cousin Lloyd doesn't try to force him out.

A/N: Hello, and hi. Here is your secret santa gift! Apologies if it is only kind of good, I admittedly do not write Morro as the hurt character, so it was an interesting challenge. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Tw: Anxiety, PTSD, avoiding people to not have to deal with your issues

Morro loved being a record shop owner. He loved the music he would get to listen to. He loved seeing the regulars and the new customers come into the shop. He loved the vibe he cultivated in the shop.

The best part was that if he needed to retreat in his thoughts, there were plenty of mindless things he could do. Like sorting the records on the shelf.

Morro picked the first one up. It was a shark themed one. Something Garmadon would like-

Morro had to force down the panic in his throat at the thought of Garmadon.

Sometimes, Morro wished that Garmadon would go back to being evil and trying to take over the city again, just to justify the panic that came up whenever he was in Morro’s mind.

It wasn’t like Morro didn’t understand why Garmadon not attacking the city was a good thing.

He saw how much more relaxed Lloyd was when he wasn’t constantly looking over his shoulder, trying to brace himself for whenever there was a Garmadon attack.

He saw how his shop had way more profits because people didn’t fear getting attacked just because they went shopping at the store owned by the dark lord’s greatest enemy’s son.

He saw how the city could actually function when they weren’t constantly trying to rebuild from the destruction that followed Garmadon.

That didn’t stop Morro from making up reasons why he was staying up in the room above his shop instead of going back to Wu’s, because he was too scared to be in a room with Garmadon.

That didn’t stop Morro from wishing he could go back to fighting Garmadon’s forces, because that was simple and easy and gave Morro an actual purpose.

That didn’t stop Morro from wanting Garmadon to be evil again just so it felt normal again.

Morro knew that it was pathetic, because he was 23, and he was too cowardly to admit he was scared of being in the world without Garmadon constantly attacking. That was a constant for as long as he could remember, and his childhood had been shaped so much by the dangers that brought.

He didn’t know how to live in a world without having to make sure he could get away if there was a general prowling the streets.

He didn’t know how to live in a world without having to carry a knife on his person at all times in case an attack happened when he was just out and about.

He didn’t know how to live in a world without having to make sure he would be able to come back home every night without being incapacitated by Garmadon.

It wasn’t even like the change was bad. It was a big one, sure but it only had positive benefits for Morro’s family in theory. Wu was so much less tense now that his brother was willing to not destroy the city. Lloyd was a hero to everyone, not just Morro, not just a kid of the world’s greatest villain. Auntie Koko was so much happier, and laughed so much when she was around Garmadon.

Heck, Garmadon wasn’t even that bad, once you got past the whole crazy part. He was really into sharks, and he would talk about them as long as he was allowed to, so Morro had an easy conversation opener for him if he needed one. He also was trying so hard for Lloyd, trying to do father-son stuff with him to make up for being evil for half of Lloyd’s life.

However, that still didn’t make Morro not freeze whenever Garmadon came into a room with him. Morro has to calm his racing heart whenever Garmadon reaches a hand towards Auntie Koko or Lloyd, his brain automatically assuming that he was going to hurt them. (And maybe he was going to hurt them, because he had only been good for such a short amount of time compared to him being evil-)

Point was, Morro was not adjusting to the idea of Garmadon being good, and he knows that is an issue that he was to deal with, but he doesn’t know how to go about it.

He supposed he could just go to Wu, but there was a likely chance he would just give a lecture about being unsupportive and given some cryptic metaphors instead of actual advice.

He couldn’t hang out at Auntie Koko’s apartment, either, like he usually did because Garmadon could be there and that was just the issue, wasn’t it? He can’t be around the man that destroyed so much but brought so much to jay to their little family.

Morro just had to figure out the solutions to his issues himself, he supposed. So Morro spent more and more time at his shop, and he lied about it being extra busy, and he spent hours laying awake trying to figure out what to do.

One solution, and the simplest in theory, was just push through. Force himself to get used to Garmadon’s presence and ignore the panic attack or the adrenaline in his veins. However, Morro had been doing that for so long and it didn’t seem to be working very effectively.

Another solution was to just talk about his feelings. He could do all that gross mushy gushy feeling stuff Wu liked to preach about. Sit down with the family at the table and talk about his issues. Morro thinks he would rather fire himself out of Garmadon’s volcano before he did that.

Maybe he could just leave. Stay in his shop forever, and never come out for anything but food deliveries. He would never have to confront his issues then. Morro could just fade away from their memories and not bother them at all.

It would have been easier to go with that option if it wasn’t for one thing. Lloyd.

Lloyd, who had been sending Morro more and more concerned texts as he stayed away longer and longer. Lloyd, who had been trying to convince Morro to come hang out with him. Lloyd, who kept trying to force the address of Morro’s shop from him for a ‘friendly visit’ (read: an intermission).

Morro couldn’t help but feel guilty as he laid on his makeshift bed of blankets and pillows as he thought of Lloyd. It wasn’t Lloyd’s fault Morro didn’t want to have anything to do with his dad. It wasn’t Lloyd’s fault Morro couldn’t deal with the fact his dad wasn’t completely evil. It wasn’t Lloyd’s fault Morro was just broken and messed up.

Maybe Morro was just too broken for a familial relationship now. He had a good run, but all good things had to come to an end.

Letting out a sigh, Morro forced himself out of his thoughts as he went back to sorting the records on the shelf. He had to finish this up before he could let himself sleep for the night.

Ching!

Morro looked up from the records, trying to figure out where that noise came from. It sounded like the door opening, but that would be ridiculous, the shop was closed, who would be-

“Hi, Morro,” a voice greeted behind him. A very familiar voice Morro did not expect to hear here, and one he did not want to hear.

Tensing, Morro turned towards the door, and turned his gaze downwards slightly at the figure standing in front of it.

Lloyd was standing there, in that stupid green hoodie and jeans, with a backpack slung over his shoulder and his hair pushed back. He had a smile on his face, but it was a strained one. He looked exhausted, his eyes having bags almost as deep as Morro’s and his posture slumped.

“What are you here?” Morro interrogated as he put down the record in his hand so he could cross his arms. “Does your mom know you’re here? It’s almost 10 pm, for master’s sake.” Why was Lloyd here so late? Did something happen?

Lloyd nodded. “Mom said that I could come visit, and I can even sleep over if you don’t force me out. And I came to see you, duh.” Even looking half-dead, Lloyd still seemed so cheery. First Spinjitzu Master, Morro loved this guy? He was questioning his standards.

Morro rolled his eyes as he started to push Lloyd outside. “Well, now you have seen me, and I am alive and well. So shoo.”

Lloyd shook his head, and planted his feet so Morro couldn’t push him. “Nope, not going. Not until I get an answer as to why you’re avoiding everyone.” He crossed his arms and tried to glare, but it just looked like he was a cute hedgehog.

Morro huffed as he picked Lloyd up, prepared to carry him outside. “Nuh uh, not talking to you, squirt. You can go, because I’m perfectly fine.”

Lloyd frowned and pushed Morro, causing them to land in a heap on the floor. “I am not going, because you have been acting weird ever since Dad became good, and I need to know why.”

Morro shook his head. “Nothing you need to worry about,” he tried to reassure Lloyd, “I am fine. Go hang out with your dad or something.”

Lloyd scoffed at that. “No, you are not. You haven’t talked to anyone in weeks and don’t even leave the shop. That probably isn’t heavy.” Lloyd looked away from Morro, and pleaded, “Please, just talk to me, Momo. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

Morro’s heart seized at that. Here his baby cousin was, trying to comfort Morro, even though he was so much smaller than Morro and was hurting too. Master, what did the world have against Lloyd?

Morro sighed. “Lloyd, it’s nothing you can help with. I just need time.”

“What is it?” Lloyd asked. “It will help you to talk about it.”

Morro shook his head again. He can’t tell Lloyd. Lloyd would be crushed.

“Is it about my dad?”

“What?” Morro sputtered. Did Lloyd just asked what he thought he did?

Lloyd just raised his eyebrows and asked again, “Is it my dad? Are you scared of him? Is that why you’re avoiding us?”

Morro froze. He can’t tell Lloyd what he has been feeling for so long. It would make Lloyd upset, and Lloyd can’t do anything.

“It’s okay,” Lloyd reassured Morro, “Mom and Wu won’t care. We just want to be happy.”

“But you guys aren’t scared of him, and you seem so happy with him, and I just get in the way,” Morro blurted out, and then wanted to vomit as soon as he realized what he said.

Lloyd frowned and argued, “But you always are so nice to me, and you make Wu smile, and you are not in the way.” Lloyd sighed. “You don’t have to be scared of Dad, ya know? He won’t hurt you.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Morro yelled, his body on fire inside with the anger he felt. “I know that I shouldn’t be scared of him, and that he isn’t that bad anymore. I know that!” Morro felt some of the anger go out of him, and he mumbled, “I hate I am scared of him.”

Lloyd threw his arms around Morro, and squeezed. Morro felt tears behind his eyes build up and he blinked them away. Lloyd mumbled, “I don’t care if you are scared. I just want my cousin back. It sucks that you’re ignoring me because of something as stupid as fear.”

“I’m sorry,” Morro apologized, “but I don’t want to hurt-”

Lloyd unlatches himself from Morro and gets up on his feet. “You won’t hurt me,” Lloyd states with a certainty Morro never heard from him. “You never will when you talk to me. You being away is more painful than you saying you’re scared of Dad.” Lloyd sighed and picked his bag up. “I guess I should go-”

“Wait,” Morro cried, causing Lloyd to turn to look at him. “You can stay,” he mumbled, and he got up from the floor. “But you get the floor, cause you are forcing me to house you for the night,” he finished with a teasing tone, closer to how he usually talked to Lloyd.

Lloyd grinned and rushed to hug Morro. “Yes!” he cheered, “Just like we were kids.”

Morro ran a hand through his hair. “I guess,” he replied as he turned towards the stairs to the room upstairs. He beckoned for Lloyd to follow. “Come on, squirt. Gotta get you in bed, or else Auntie Koko will have my head.”

Lloyd giggled as he followed Morro. “Fine,” he grumbled.

Morro laughed at his cousin’s petulant expression. “Let’s get you in bed,” he chuckled.

Maybe it would get easier, having Lloyd in his life again. Maybe Morro would be able to look at Lloyd and not feel guilt in his veins. Maybe one day, Morro would be able to leave the record shop.

For now, Lloyd was going to get in his pajamas and tell Morro about the weird stuff he did with his dad, and Morro would listen. And then Lloyd would sleep with the knowledge he had just learned heavy in his head. Morro would stare at his ceiling at the fact that Lloyd knew that knowledge.

Now, Morro could try to heal. Maybe it wouldn’t go back to his old normal, but maybe Morro could find a new normal.

#ninjago #ninjago morro #ninjago lloyd #the lego ninjago movie

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bunny-rambles · 3 years

Note

Hello and happy new years! If it's alright with you, could I request a continuation for "a fighting chance"? It'd be nice to see how reader's relationship with Kazuha would develop once they leave with him. Thank you in advance and I hope you have a wonderful day!

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“Loose Arrow.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

CW/TW: hurt/no comfort, reader breaks Gorou’s heart. very brief mention of death. brief mentions to injuries.

characters: Kazuha, Gorou, Kokomi (mentioned), gn reader

part 1: All’s fair in love and war

part 2: A fighting chance

notes: I believe there were more requests for this on the actual post, and more were in my inbox. I tried to add them but it really messed up the formatting so I apologise that I didn’t. Dedicated to the people who gave part 2 love, and asked for a part 3. I didn’t think anyone would take much interest in my posts, especially this one, but seeing all these comments gave me a much needed confidence boost. Even if I doubt myself, I at least know that some of you enjoy my work so much you want 3 parts of it. Thank you ♡ before you read, this has taken a long time, and this piece has fought me every step of the way. Please let me know if this is in tags. Because I posted this before, and… It appeared, then disappeared. Let’s try this again,,, shall we? Thank you. With that said, enjoy!

Instead of the walk back to the island being shrouded in heavy tension, it was actually quite pleasant. You found conversation with Kazuha was rather easy. Your new found friend certainly had a way with words, but there was a subtle playfulness behind them that made you chuckle. That carefree attitude of his was captivating. You wondered if one day, perhaps you too would be free of responsibilities, roaming the world and experiencing it for yourself instead of reading about others adventures. It sounded exhilarating. You had always wanted to travel, after all.

In fact, you remembered saying those exact words to a certain curious general, on a quiet night like this one when the two of you couldn’t sleep.

“So… If the Raiden Shogun hadn’t issued the decree… What would you be doing now?”

“Hm… The world still has so much left to explore. So I’d probably be doing that.”

“You’d be an explorer? Or well… A traveller?”

You smiled, a soft hum leaving your lips in reply.

“But it’s so dangerous! If you didn’t join the army, you wouldn’t have combat training, and you wouldn’t of learnt to fight, and-“

“Hey, hey hey! This is hypothetical! I’m just saying what came to mind.” You couldn’t help but laugh. Gorou’s protectiveness sometimes bordered on laughable when he got himself worked up like this. It was just another point on your long list of reasons to fall in love with him.

He sighed heavily in relief, a breathy, nervous chuckle following after.

“Yeah, ha… Sorry. Just the thought of you getting hurt scares me, that’s all.”

“… Yeah, I know.”

Gorou wasn’t initially such a worrier. Cautious and calculating, yes. Nervous? In some situations. But very rarely worried. That all changed when he saw you on that bed, skin cold and body stiff. For a moment, he really didn’t think you were going to make it. It was just like you to jump in front of someone, selfless as you were. Sometimes he wished you thought of yourself, especially in those quiet moments of him sitting by your bedside. He held your hand, closed his eyes and prayed to whoever was listening. ‘Please’, he begged. ‘Please let them live.’

He was elated when his prayers were answered. And he was going to do everything in his power to never have you in that position again. You, of course, were none the wiser. You didn’t realise what it had done to him, not to the full extent anyway.

So you laughed it off back then, reassuring him that all of this didn’t matter. You couldn’t change the past, and so instead you talked about the future.

“But… When this is all over, I think it would be nice.”

“You plan on leaving?”

You heaved a quiet sigh, before nodding your head. You knew he hated goodbye’s, but you had never planned to stay in Inazuma for the rest of your life. You fought for what was right and that was that. That’s where your ties to this place ended. “Yeah… I do. One day.”

You felt Gorou’s ears against your cheek after a moment, nose scrunching up at the warm sensation. His arms had wrapped themselves around you and had pulled you in close. “I hope that day never comes…”

You smiled sadly to yourself at the resurfacing memory. You were going to miss it once you were gone. The laughter, the smiles, the happiness. But all that had ceased when Kokomi came into the picture, so you were already missing it anyway. Leaving made no difference, not in your mind anyway. You had already lost Gorou the second that mindless, anger fuelled confession spilled from your lips.

“Just up here…” You motioned with your head towards a hill, your companion falling in step with you quietly. You were thankful for his silence. It was momentary quiet before the storm you needed to ground yourself with. Watatsumi had become your home, to be ripped away from that even if you were willing, brought a pain to your chest. Perhaps it was a mixture; a concoction of the heartbreak you had been dealing with for weeks, and the new, fresh, biting pain of leaving everything you’ve ever known behind.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you made it to your quarters. But there was something there that you were not expecting.

Gorou, pacing back and forth in front of your door, muttering under his breath. The tip of his tail was dragging along the floor and his ears were flattened against his head. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve guessed he was upset. But he was probably furious with you, angry about you ruining what you had together. It was all going so well, why did you have to fuck it up? You had imagined him saying something similar to you.

You were too stunned to move for a moment, before your head turned towards the white haired male beside you. He, too, was looking at you, curious about how you were going to react. Neither of you had prepared to face him, deciding that simply grabbing your stuff and leaving for Ritou as soon as you could would be the more simpler option. You weren’t even planning to say goodbye.

You took a small step forward, and that was all it took for the general to snap out of his daze and realise who exactly was in front of him. Without hesitation, he dashed towards you and wrapped his arms around you tight, pulling you in close, so close it was almost suffocating. “I… I’ve been worried sick. I couldn’t find you anywhere. I thought you…” He was stumbling over his sentences, his words stubbornly not coming out of his tight throat. To make up for it, he held you even tighter, burying his head in your neck. Your arms hung limply by your sides, not expecting such a bold action from your friend. You thought he hated you. Oh, how wrong you were. Over his shoulder, you could see his tail had perked up and was wagging rapidly against his legs. No. He was not angry. He was happy to see you, so happy he could’ve burst.

But no matter how much you wanted to hold him, your arms couldn’t move. You were so overwhelmed with emotions: relief, sadness, bitterness. It all made you feel so tired.

When he finally pulled away, you couldn’t look him in the eye. You didn’t want to see that smile stop from his face from what you were about to tell him.

“Gorou… I came to get my stuff.”

“What? Why?!”

You sighed quietly, stepping away from him and towards your door. As you opened it, you spoke. “I can’t stay here… It’s for my own good.”

“But-“ He tried to interject, but you carried on. “You’re happy here. You don’t… Need me. I’m just in the way.” And with that, you finally stepped inside, scanning the room for only the bare necessities that you could pack. But Gorou wasn’t satisfied with that.

“How could you say that about yourself?!”

You were, once again, stunned at his outburst. Turning away from the doorway, you looked at him with widened eyes. His fists were clenched, along with his jaw, and he was… Glaring at you. He’s never done that with you before, not even when he was really angry. He didn’t give you time to dwell on it, grabbing your arm and pulling you closer to him. “You are a general of Watatsumi island, Her Excellency's right hand and my best friend! You are not in the way!” He was defending you, from yourself. From your harsh and uncaring words, about you. It left a bittersweet taste in your mouth, and the sensation caused your lips to curl upwards into a small smile. He stepped back, confused as to why you were smiling. None of this was funny, or joyful. Why did you have such a genuine smile on your face right now?

“I’ll rephrase. I’m not happy.” His silence gave you the time to take a breath, and pull away from his loosening grip. “These past few weeks have been the most painful of my life. I can’t take much more. I’ve been through all sorts of battles, I would say I have thick skin. But… Seeing you, with her.” A breathless, mirthless laugh escaped your lips, and your head lowered to hide the glassiness of your eyes from him. “It hurts more than any loose arrow ever could.” After you spoke, there was a heavy tension in the air, one that was making it hard to breathe. To escape it, you finally turned around and made your way inside.

Grabbing the largest bag you could find, you placed it on your bed and started placing your discarded clothes inside of it. You weren’t even sure if Gorou was still out there, not looking up since your painful confession to him. Your question was answered, however, when you heard hurried footsteps coming towards you.

“Please, please don’t do this… I can’t imagine my life without you.” You didn’t respond, still placing in various items you could get your hands on for now.

“I’ll break up with her if that’s what you want!” He was panicking, you could tell. His voice was shaking and the hands that had now started to hold your bag shut were trembling. It broke your heart to do this to him, but you knew that this situation wasn’t making either of you happy.

“Gorou, please. That’s the last thing I want. Maybe me leaving is for the better.”

“But I…” He paused before grabbing both of your hands tightly. “I love you!” Maybe once, those words would’ve stirred up some hope inside your heart, but you knew who his own heart belonged to. And it wasn’t you.

“I know. But you’re not in love with me, are you?” You responded quietly, glancing down at both of your hands that were being held by your friend. You felt his grip loosen. You already knew the answer, he didn’t need to say it. You were almost convinced he couldn’t. When his hands finally slipped away from yours and his head hung low, you took it upon yourself to try to give him at least some form of comfort.

Tentatively, your hand reached up towards his head, your fingers running through the white patch in his hair. His head leant towards your careful hand, relishing in the sensation. It was probably the last time he would ever feel it, from your hand at least. “I’m still your friend, you know? Maybe we’ll meet again one day.” You heard his breath hitch, and your hand stilled. Your heart broke at the sound, and shattered even further when you saw a glimmering streak visible on Gorou’s face. You knew if you stayed any longer, he might’ve won you over. But these weeks had been excruciating, and you weren’t willing to spend another day watching him fawn over someone that wasn’t you. Swallowing your hesitation, you finally closed your bag and hoisted it on your shoulder. When your hand reached the handle of the door, you took one last look at him, but he was frozen on the spot next to your bed. “I hope… You two are happy. Tell Kokomi I said goodbye.” The door opened. You left.

When the door shut, you heard a quiet thump behind it and barely concealed sobs. His muffled cries made you freeze, and you nearly opened the door again, but the sight of Kazuha made you think otherwise. His eyes were gentle, and the small frown on his face was the only give away he was feeling anything about this. He wanted to stay neutral, but hearing his friends' cries made his heart twinge with guilt. Was this really the best option for you both? You, on the other hand, saw hope when you looked at him. He was a chance for a better life, away from the heartache. You took a breath before stepping towards him, giving him a curt nod.

“I’m ready. Let’s go.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

So… heh. I’m not that cruel. There will be a part 4 of this, so there’s no need for requests for one this time. However, I thought I would do something a lil different. I’m going to open a tag list for this, if I have enough people asking to be apart of it. If you would like to be included, please let me know through either my inbox or by reblog/comments! Likes, reblogs, comments and asks through my inbox are all appreciated!

#genshin x yn #genshin x reader #kazuha x reader #kazuha x gn reader #genshin x you #kazuha x you #Kazuha x yn #gorou x yn #gorou x reader #Gorou x yn #gorou #Genshin gorou #sangonomiya kokomi #Kokomi #genshin impact x reader

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spilledkauffie · 3 years

Text

Newsflash

Pairing: Loki x FemaleTVAWorker!Reader Word Count: 1.5k T/W: just something cute A/N: finding Loki & helping him with the TVA transition

P.s. this is just for fun, I’m not trying to be technically accurate in how said abilities come about. This is just something I’m trying, we’ll see how it goes!

Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5

The TVA was abuzz with agents running hither, thither, and yon to try and find the most recent Variant they had brought in. You’d already heard who it was and that he was giving everyone quite a time with his cooperation, or lack thereof. Walking down the dimly bright hallway, you sidestepped to avoid a team of hunters on their way to a new location. You smiled recognizing a familiar face jogging up to you.

“Have you seen him?” Mobius asked, only mildly frustrated; he never raised his voice, especially at you.

You smirked and shrugged, keeping your hands in your pockets, “I haven’t, but newsflash, I could’ve told you this was going to happen.”

“Yeah, well,” he said through gritted teeth, “it happened,” he added, stepping around you to meet up with a squad.

Despite being assigned as only an agent, you had a special gift of being able to sense what was going to happen. Of course, the TVA loved it when they felt they could use it, but they also hated it, especially when you suggested something dangerous or out of the question to the authorities, reminding you that: ‘you aren’t a Timekeeper and cannot actually see the future.’ Which was true, you had to admit it as far as you knew your predictions and information was all off feeling, but there was something to be said for your feelings never being never wrong.

Coming to the room the Variant was last seen in, you looked left and right, entering cautiously. Sure enough, you had found exactly what you expected to find, Loki, alone with the Tesseract. On the sound of you closing the door, he startled, looking up and immediately defensive. You stayed where you were, not wanting to give the impression that you were there to intimidate. Loki eyed you up and down, he had to admit you were the most beautiful being he’d seen in a long time.

“Looks like you found what you were looking for,” you nodded towards the cube at his feet.

“This- this useless,” he picked up the Tesseract and gestured it around, nonchalantly.

“Well,” you shrugged, “that depends who you ask, why you want it, and where you are, Loki. Oh, and when you are.”

He shook his head, setting the cube down again, “but here- here infinity stones are used as paperweights,” he tilted his head at you, “honestly, who are you people?”

“We’re the TVA, we-” you began, but stopped when he scoffed and combed his hands through his hair looking away. You bit the inside of your lip, wishing you could tell all, but no doubt you’d be fired for that. Approaching him, he glared at you, he was on the defense and you couldn’t blame him after what Mobius and the TVA had done in such a short time from apprehending him.

“Have you been to see a doctor?” You asked, observing some bruises and cuts across his face, not from the TVA of course, that was the Avengers’ doing, but it was worth asking.

“What? No, I am fine,” he rolled his eyes, “I don’t need one, if I could use my powers, I could fix it anyway.”

“Fix it? I thought you were fine?” you tilted your head, still standing in front of him.

He sighed, clearly exhausted, putting his head in his hands. Fingers gripping his raven hair. Approaching calmly, you sat beside him, with the Tesseract situated between the two of you. You looked at its mesmerizing blue glow, it was beautiful as they all were.

Suddenly Loki lifted his head, soft smile as he looked at you, “Madam,” he began, and you raised your eyebrows, “you seem an intellectual individual, far smarter than any of your coworkers, you are far more beautiful than any,” he took a pause, “I believe there’s been a mistake, and perhaps,” he moved closer to you, making you look down, before back up, well aware of what was happening, “perhaps you could help them to see their mistake.”

Quirking your lips, unable to deny he was very charming, you tried not to smile. Instead you put on a wince, “I’m sorry, I thought they told you,” you said very gently, making him furrow his brows, you lifted your shoulders, whispering, “magic doesn’t work here.”

“Oh for-” Loki said exasperated, “that wasn’t magic!”

“No,” you laughed, eyes crinkling with your accompanying smile, “but that was laying it on pretty thick.”

He exhaled deeply, “it wasn’t all a lie,” he admitted, perking a brow, glancing at the floor.

You stared at his neck for a moment, not in any particular manner, but another smile pulled at the corner of your lips.

“What?” Loki almost flinched as he asked upon noticing your gaze, still figuring out what the TVA’s intentions were for him kept him on edge.

“I just noticed you got the collar off,” you looked up to his eyes, gesturing to your own neck with a finger, “most people don’t even try, but it's quite easy, as you’ve found out.”

Loki straightened up, dignity returning, “well… I’m not some animal, I’m a-“

“A god, right,” you nodded, finishing his sentence. Swiftly Loki turned his head to completely face you, confusion was stricken across his expression, but then you smiled again, this time at him, were you mocking him? No, you sounded like you believed him. Why were you smiling? Your presence wasn’t like the rest of the TVA—

You leaned in closer to him, telling him in a whisper, “I never liked the collar either.”

“You- wh-,” he stuttered as you kept eye contact, clearly stuttering was not in his nature, he didn’t like being confused and scared, he didn’t like not having the upper hand, “what you weren’t ‘born behind a desk,’ bred to loyally serve the Timekeepers?”

You quietly laughed at the seriousness in which he used air quotes, shaking your head, “goodness you sound like Miss Minutes.” You met his gaze, “no,” you left it there for a while, he relaxed, dropping his hands. He was actually relieved to hear that you weren’t, and he wanted to hear more.

“Go on,” he said in almost a question, with ‘please’ attached.

Sighing, you complied to explain, “once upon a time, I got a little too interested in a Time Stone we had come in.”

“But magic doesn’t work here-“

“No, it doesn’t,” you looked over, meeting his eyes again, you enjoyed looking at them, “I took it from the TVA after they brought me in, I thought it could be my way out, but it backfired,” you quirked your lips, looking down at the ground, “too much pressure on it and. . .it shattered,” you paused blinking, “I was exposed to an energy I can’t explain and it gave me something I can’t explain, but,” you sighed, straightening up, “the TVA found me, reset the timeline, and took me back in for examination.”

“And what- now they hired you?” Loki asked, his tone wasn’t exactly soft, more shocked at their recruiting choices.

You returned to the present, coming out of your own flashback, “now,” you smiled widely, “I’m of more use to Mobius than he’ll ever admit.”

There was silence, and you let it remain, assuming Loki had a lot to process.

“Why are you telling me this?” he squinted.

“Because you have power and potential that could change history, if only you-”

With a sudden motion the door flung open, and Mobius, wary at first, made his way in. Upon seeing you, he let down his defenses.

“You found him I see,” he put his hands on his hips, a stance that almost made you laugh, at least internally, “didn’t feel the need to tell me?”

“I knew you’d get there eventually,” you nodded.

“Unbelievable, Newsflash, actually it is believable and that’s the problem-” Mobius muttered to himself as he left to inform others that Loki had been found and detained again.

“Newsflash?” Loki questioned, looking over at you, you just shrugged, “you sound like quite the handful yourself,” Loki actually smiled at you; you returned the smile, nodding to yourself.

“Look, Loki,” you started, pressing your palms together, “Mobius has a lot of faith in you, and I know you don’t believe in trust, but we’re about to trust you very much,” you saw he opened his mouth, you waited, eyebrows raised as if asking ‘yes?’ but he silently answered by shaking his head, allowing you to continue, “I know you’ve seen and been through a lot today, I won’t lie, I was confused when I came here too, but this really is bigger than anything you could imagine. We need you,” you furrowed your brows, speaking from your heart, “more than you know.”

“Well, it’s nice to be needed,” He bobbed his head with a smile spreading further on his lips. “I believe you,” he said, soft eyes suddenly looking at you, “I just can’t- believe all. . .this,” he lifted a finger and made a circle, looking around, ”not yet anyway.”

You smiled, throwing him a wink, “give it time.”

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ijustwant2write · 3 years

Text

Reconnect-Finn Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @peakystitches)

Masterlist

Tags: @captivatedbycillianmurphy @jenepleurepasbaby @amirahiddleston @bloodorangemoonlight @haphazardhufflepuff @mzcrazy2

Requested by anonymous: ‘Hello! May i request an either tommy or finn shelby x reader? (Whicheverr one u think suits best) for this prompt i found: character A and B have been in a longterm relationship and nothing can get in between, until one day something does and they drift away. But then they reconnect emotionally and everything feels like the first time again (first kiss, first meal together etc) 🙏🏼💜 i love ur writing thank u’

Characters: Finn Shelby x Reader, Polly Gray x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Swearing, arguing, finance issues, drinking, fluff

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Finn, is that you?" I called out from our bedroom as I heard the front door open. I tensed up when I didn't hear a reply, only to let out a sigh when I heard him giggling.

He was drunk again, it happened almost every week now. Tommy would have given him something important to do for the gang, and whether or not Finn succeeded with that task, he would go out and celebrate with his mates. I would sometimes tag along if I wasn't tired from the week of working, but after seeing our finances, I realised we needed to stop acting like teenagers and start saving wisely.

"Hello my gorgeous girl." he slurred out as he entered the room.

"Hello Finn." I replied as I received a sloppy kiss to my forehead.

He flopped down beside me in bed, taking the book out of my hands and throwing it to the floor. Finn wrapped his arms around me, snuggling into my lap. I took off his hat, stroking back his hair. He was cold from the brisk walk home, causing me to shiver.

“You should have come out tonight." he said.

"I got off work late."

"He kept you again?"

"No, I decided to stay."

"Why? You always say you're tired."

"I'm tired because I'm picking up extra shifts and hours so that we can start saving up for a house."

"I've told you, we don't need to worry about that. Business is good."

"Finn, we're not going to be given the money. We have to earn it."

"Tommy will help us."

"He might help but he won't give us a lot. And even if he did hand us a house, we've got to have enough money for the bills, furniture-"

"It will be fine."

"Finn, we've not even had our wedding yet!"

We had been engaged for half a year. We were wanting to be married sooner, but problems arose with the Peaky Blinders it distracted us both from it, especially since our lives were in danger. I desperately wanted to have enough money for the wedding and house, though it looked like it was going to be one or the other at this point.

"What's wrong with the flat?" Finn now sat up.

"Did you seriously ask me that question? There's only so much I can do to this dump to make it look somewhat liveable. It just doesn't feel like home."

"We'll get the money. Don't worry. Look, look," he took my hands in his,"we will get a house. I promise. And believe me, I want to marry you as soon as I can, there needs to be another ring on that finger. And I need to see my name at the end of yours."

I stupidly believed him. Those adoring eyes I once trusted had lied to me. Finn kept his promise for a week at max, soon breaking it. I didn't mind him going out with friends, we both needed to socialise, I just disagreed with the amount of times he was out and the amount of drinks he was buying each night. He would always offer to get the next round, and although he was a Shelby, the discounts didn't make much difference at the end of the night. I decided I had to go with him to ensure that our money wasn't being poured away, struggling to stay awake for those long nights, and making work even harder every day. It was impossible to keep an eye on him like that.

Usually Finn would tell me if he was going out that night so I wouldn't worry. That stopped too. My mind was never at ease. How did I know he wasn't lying in a ditch somewhere after a job gone wrong? Or what if he was trapped somewhere by a rival gang? I could only rest when he returned, which he always luckily did. I pretended to be asleep, trying to not push him away as he slipped his arms around me, cuddling me for the rest of the night. My patience began to grow thin. I was too scared to speak up about it, worried that we would just end up having an argument. However, I knew we would have to bring it up soon, because our money was only disappearing instead of increasing.

One morning when I was leaving for work, I noticed that the drawer we locked our savings away in was slightly ajar, meaning someone had unlocked it and stupidly left it open. Of course it had to be Finn, no one had broken in during the night. My eyes widened when I saw how much he had taken, enraged that he would think me so foolish. Why would he take the money without asking? What was he using it for?

As I stormed towards the shop, I heard whooping from men in a car further up the street. My face turned into a deep frown when I recognised the car, managing to catch a glimpse of the people in it. They hadn't seen me, and I had to make sure my eyes were deceiving me.

I didn't care about the looks on me as I burst through into the shop, making a beeline for Polly's office. I harshly knocked on the door, entering when she called me.

"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" she asked, a lit cigarette in hand.

"Where's Finn?"

"Off out with his brothers, why?"

"Where are they going?"

"To the races."

I scoffed, placing a hand on my head in defeat.

"Why? What's wrong with that?"

"He told me he would be in the office all day today."

"So? Things change."

"No, he specifically told me that. I never even asked about it. He made a point meaning he didn't want to risk me waltzing in. That means he's hiding something."

"(Y/N), they're only going to bet on horses today. They're mingling."

"They're betting today?!"

She stood, putting a hand on her hip."What am I missing here?"

"Pol, he's using money that we don't have! I need a car, I need to get to him."

"Look, even if my nephew is being the biggest idiot, it's a bad idea to go there."

"Why?"

Her eyes widened."Don't snap at me young lady."

"I'm sorry, I just, I just know he's going to be stupid with what little money we have at the minute."

Polly was silent for a few seconds, and I didn't know if she was just staring me out, trying to make me leave. Perhaps she didn't think it was anything to worry over. But it was to me. She surprised me when she went into one of her drawers, pulling out a set of keys.

"Come on. I'll get one of the girls to call your work, say you're sick."

I tightly clasped my hands together as Polly drove. I was furious, trying to think of what to say to Finn when I got there. He stole our money. He went behind my back, gambling away the money we worked hard to earn. I had never said it, but Finn had it much easier than I did. For one, he worked with family, and although I liked my job, the boss could sometimes be an arsehole; second, he earned a lot more than me, so he was the bigger breadwinner between us, but I worked longer hours. Yes, he was in a gang meaning he had more days where his life was under threat, but he seemed to be having a jolly good time anyway. Really, it wouldn't have mattered who worked longer or harder, or who earned more, it was still our money to spend on our house.

As soon as Polly parked up, I was straight out of the car. She quickly followed grabbing my arm and warning me to not get lost in the crowds. I couldn't make a scene, especially since there could be potential business partners or enemies about. I refrained from rolling my eyes, knowing she was right but also knowing that I would find it extremely hard to not scream at Finn.

Polly guided me to where the men would be, ignoring the shoving and shouting. I wished for her to walk quicker. We swiftly entered the posher boxes, almost stopped by a doorman until his accomplice shut him up. I even heard him whisper 'That's Polly Gray you idiot.', the one time I was glad we had a reputation. She only paused to scan the room for the boys but I spotted them first. Quickly moving past her, I couldn't stop my fists from clenching, seeing Finn joyfully drinking and laughing with his brothers only added fire to my fury.

"Finn!" I snapped, quickly catching his attention.

"(Y/N)?" he exclaimed, struggling to stand and clattering the plates and glasses on the table."W-what are you doing here?"

"Stopping you from spending our money like a fucking idiot! Where is it?"

"Oh, Finn boy is in the doghouse." John chuckled.

"Shut up!" I fiercely pointed at him.

"Where's what?" Finn brought me back.

"Our money!"

"I told you, you do this outside." Polly warned, shoving Finn in that direction, and I knew I had to follow him.

Luckily, we were left alone. Finn continued on, finding someplace we would be alone. Once we were in the clear, the distant roar of the crowds covering our conversation, I saw him sigh quietly, running a hand down his face when he realised what was coming.

"Where's the money Finn?" I asked, calmer but with a mean tone.

"Let me explain first.”

"Explain how you took our money without asking? How you just waltzed out this morning without consulting me?"

"Tommy said that there was a good chance, a very good chance that this horse would win, and I thought it would help us if we put our money on it. Imagine how much we'll have if it wins!"

"If it wins Finn, if! You're gambling our money, why would you do something like that?"

"Because you went on about not having enough money! And here I am trying to help!"

My mouth dropped open in shock."You really don’t see the problem here."

"No, actually, I don't." he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Finn, you stole money from the drawer! You then go behind my back and bet it away. Have you thought about what we'll do if that horse loses?"

"But it won't, Tommy said."

"And what if Tommy is wrong this time? Also, don't pin this on your brother, I know he hasn't even suggested this idea."

"I'm not-urgh!" Finn groaned."Why don't you trust me?"

"I can't trust a gamble Finn. I don't think you realise how many nights I've spent lying awake, worried that we'll never have enough for our own home, and thinking that you don't even care anymore."

"Of course I care. This is why I've bet the money."

"How is this not getting in your head?"

"(Y/N)," he took my hands in his, but I couldn't even look at him,"in a few minutes we will hear them announce the winner, and we will start jumping for joy when we realise how much money we're going to get back, and we're going to be so much closer to getting our home."

"Finn, I desperately want to believe that. But even if we do win, you're in deep trouble." I took my hands away from him, turning around. I couldn't even look at my own fiance.

On queue, we heard a man come over the intercom, it was muffled to me but I knew Finn was listening intensely. Glancing over my shoulder, I watched for his reaction, turning around fully when I saw his expression. We had lost. We lost all that money.

"How could you be so fucking stupid?!" I screamed at him, throwing slaps onto his chest."Why couldn't you just listen to me? I don't understand why you had to lie to me Finn!"

I broke down crying, shoving him away from me. My sobs were loud but I didn't care. Finn could watch, see how much he upset me. My heart sank at the thought of it all gone, Finn had left scarcely any money in the drawer back at the flat.

"I'm sorry (Y/N)." Finn pathetically said.

"You know how you always go on about your family never trusting you enough for the big jobs? That you never get to go out with them and help? This is why. Because you do things like this, you fuck everything up Finn. Fuck!" I wiped away my tears, even though more spilled out."You know I've always stuck beside you, but this is the last straw Finn. I can't be with someone who doesn't want to put effort into their future."

"What are you saying? (Y/N), I can fix this. I promise I'll get the money back, I'll-"

"How? That took us so long to build that up. And you were spending our money almost every night on useless drinking. I can't Finn, I can't live like that anymore."

He ducked his head, and I almost wanted him to say something. When he didn't, I knew what I had to do.

I took a deep breath before speaking."I'm going home. I suggest you stay at Polly's tonight."

"Let me take you home-"

"No!"

"What's going on?" Tommy suddenly appeared, he, his brothers and Polly approaching.

"Your nephew, your brother, just gave away almost all of our money betting on a horse. Not only that, but he took the money without telling me. That was money for a house." I angrily explained.

"Is that true Finn?"

Finn shamefully nodded.

"We can get you your money back (Y/N)."

"It's not about that Tom. He's lied to me. He promised me he wouldn't spend our money every week, yet he did. And then he takes our money without asking me about it first."

"I'll fix it (Y/N), I promise I will." Finn was begging at this point.

"Another promise that you're bound to break. I've had enough today."

"Let's get you home love." Polly said, putting a stop to this argument as she stepped forward, taking me under her arm.

Finn didn't come home that night. I didn't sleep. I was sat at the tiny dining table, staring at the ring on my finger, wondering what to do. It broke my heart to think about leaving him, but it also broke my heart thinking about how reckless he had been. Did I really want to be marrying someone who acted like this? Would he mature? My heart wanted to believe he would, but my mind kept telling me that today confirmed he wouldn't. That was one of the worst nights of my life.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I couldn't stand this job any longer. But it was the only thing keeping me alive. It was crappy work, the pay was just above minimum, enough for me to buy food, pay my rent and have the tiniest amount left over. Saving up money was hard when it was just you. Even after two years, I didn't have enough to consider looking at places of my own, or with less roommates. It was exhausting keeping up with these girls I lived with, there were 6 of us altogether. It was a big change when I moved away from Small Heath.

"You ready (Y/N)?" one of my roommates called out to me as I finished applying my lipstick.

"Just a second!" I replied, checking myself in the mirror.

It was the rare occasion that I was going out with them, the one time we could all go out together at all. I was looking forward to a few drinks, and although that sounded hypocritical, I realised that I had to have a night or two in at least a month to relieve myself of the stress I put upon myself.

We arrived at the small club we always went to, it had the cheapest drinks this side of town. We all shivered in the cold weather, walking as fast as we could to make it to the club. The warmth was very welcome, as well as the loud music that drew us further in. It was the usual routine, a few of us grab a table, the others get the drinks in, then we would all make our way to the dance floor. Hours passed, and I had to get away from the heat coming from the dancing, stepping back towards our table to get a drink. I saw my roommate stumbling in the direction of the bar, rolling my eyes as I went to help her, perhaps getting a drink whilst I was there. However, once I got closer, I stared at the man she was starting to flirt with.

"Isaiah?" I said as I got closer.

"(Y/N)!" he smiled, bringing me in for a hug.

"You two know each other?" my roommate asked, looking disappointed.

"He's an old friend. Just that, nothing else."

Isaiah let me go."How long has it been? Two years?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, two years. What are you doing here?"

"Business. Nothing dangerous though, you girls are still in for a good night. Especially you if you're good." he winked to my roommate.

"Is he...is he here?" my voice suddenly went shaky, and I felt almost completely sober.

Isaiah's playful nature dropped."Uh, he is. He's really misses you (Y/N). Hasn't even looked at another girl since you left. He's just not been the same." I wasn't sure how to reply.

"I can't not tell him I saw you. Imagine if he found out, he would be so upset with me."

"I know. I wouldn't want to hurt your friendship."

"Maybe you should see him. It might do you both some good."

"Or the opposite."

"He still loves you. Even if you don't feel the same, it could bring closure. But I know you (Y/N), I can tell what you're thinking."

"You were always annoying like that."

"He's out front, in the corridor. That's all I'm going to say."

I looked at him for a few seconds, trying to make my mind up."Well, this one is a handful, just so you know."

"I think I can handle her." Isaiah smirked.

"I was warning her about you."

I giggled at his reaction, walking away and leaving him in his natural habitat of flirting. But as soon as I turned around, my stomach dropped, nerves filling up my entire body. He was here. I hadn't seen him for two years, though I thought about him everyday. Would he look different? Did I look different? What was he going to say? What was I going to say? My brain didn't want to think of any words, maybe I was about to babble absolute nonsense to him.

Upon seeing him, my throat tightened, the cool air slapping me in the face; oh, now I was sober. He hadn't noticed yet, leaning up against a wall, hands in his pockets. Wow, he had changed. His boyish charm was still there, yet he had matured into a handsome young man. It was like I was seeing him for the first time all over again. I was just happy that he would be seeing me in my finer clothes rather than catching me after work.

Urging my feet to move, I almost sighed at how small my steps were. I really was scared. Isaiah had said reassuring things, yet I couldn't even walk up to him. It was too late to back out now, especially when he finally looked up at me. I froze on the spot, not knowing what to do. Finn seemed the same way.

"(Y/N)." he said, I only just heard it.

"Hello."

Hello? Really, that's all I could come up with?

He pushed himself off the wall, coming to stand in front of me, though not too close."I...I can't believe you're here."

"I could say the same about you."

"This is where you've been living then."

I nodded."It's not too bad. I mean, I'm on a night out."

"Who are you with?"

I knew he was wondering if I was with a man."My roommates, I live with five other girls."

"Oh, that's a lot."

"Yeah, it's the only place I could afford."

"I hope it's nice."

"I shouldn't complain. A lot better than other places."

We both knew we were making an awful attempt at small talk. I was sure he had so much to say like I did, we just didn't want to dump it on each other in case the other ran away. It was like we were teenagers again, awkwardly trying to think of something to fill the dreaded silence.

"I really want to talk about us (Y/N)." Finn said.

"You do?"

"I...I just have so much to say to you. I can't do it now, but what about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? Tomorrow, um, yes, yes tomorrow works for me. It's the weekend, so I'm not working."

He smiled slightly."OK, good. I'll come get you. Um, I need your address."

"Oh, here." I dug around in my purse, thankful there was a folded up tissue and a pen, it was good to be prepared. I wrote down my address, handing it to him.

"I'll pick you up at one. I would want it to be earlier, you just never know what time you'll be back with this sort of thing."

"I understand Finn, I did live this with you once."

I barely slept, even when we stumbled in at three in the morning. Luckily I hadn't seen Finn, Isaiah or any other Peaky Blinder that evening, no doubt settling business behind the scenes. Despite the lack of sleep, I was wide awake the next morning, up before everyone else who were nursing their hangovers, trying on multiple outfits in a desperate attempt to look nice, but not as if I put too much effort in. The clock was rolling onto one o'clock, and my heart was beating much faster than usual. I was about to make my way downstairs when something glistened on my small vanity. Should I take it? Yes, I would.

Finn knocked on the door, and I waited a few seconds before opening it. We smiled as we greeted each other, not going in for a hug or kiss on the cheek, something I was worried about. That was the first hurdle jumped over.

"How was your evening?" Finn struck up a conversation as we walked further into town.

"Much better than yours I presume?" I smirked. He chuckled."Yeah, didn't exactly get to enjoy the music. Small fight, nothing we couldn't handle."

It was strange hearing about Blinder business again."Well I'm glad you're all safe."

"I thought we could go out for lunch, saw a nice place round here."

"Oh, that would be lovely."

"We don't have to, if you don't feel comfortable."

"No, no, no, it's not that. It's just a lovely thing for you to do."

We both bashfully smiled, luckily the restaurant was just around the corner. I had expected nothing less when we walked into the fancy place, not because I thought I deserved it, but because Finn wouldn't be seen anywhere else. His clothes were even more tailored now than they had been the last I saw him, indicating that the gang had been doing well, more money was coming in. We both immediately picked up our menus as we sat, hoping someone would speak first. Our eyes glanced over the top of them, it was as if we were on our first date again, only this time in a better establishment.

"You look beautiful." he said, still hiding part of his face.

"Thank you." I blushed.

"I'll never forget what you wore when I picked you up for our first date. That blue dress you just bought, with a matching purse, and those heels that you hadn't practiced walking in. Well, you used that as an excuse to latch into my arm all night."

I smiled, placing down my menu."It was a good plan, wasn't it? And I did struggle in those heels, I just didn't want to embarrass myself."

He copied me."I liked holding your hand all night."

"What a sweet sentiment."

"I mean it. And I mean this date. That didn't sound right, but...what I'm trying to say is that I want to make it all up to you."

"You do?"

"Yes! I really didn't expect you to leave. I mean I did, but I didn't want to believe that. I didn't want to believe that I had been so selfish that I couldn't even see how much I had hurt you."

“That was the hardest decision I ever made. Most days I battle with myself whether I made the right choice. All night I kept making deals with myself. If you came back, I would hear you out, and if it was good enough for me I would stay. But then you didn’t, so I said to myself ‘Give him another hour.’. An hour went by, and I said the same thing to myself. That went on for the whole evening until I found myself angrily packing my things. Even then, I sat by door on top of my suitcase for another hour or so.”

“I thought you just got up and left. I didn’t realise how long you waited for me.” he sighed into his hands.“I’m such a fucking idiot.”

I could tell he was full of regret. Although it sounded sadistic, I was glad that he was upset when reflecting on our past relationship, it meant he realised his mistake. On the other hand, I hated seeing him sad. I took his hands away from his face, hesitantly reaching into my handbag to pull out the engagement ring I kept.

His eyes widened.“You still have that? I looked everywhere for it when you left, guessed you took it to sell.”

“I won’t lie, that was my intention at first. But it meant too much to me. It was like selling a piece of my soul. I kept it hidden, I didn’t want to risk any of the girls seeing it, they would just ask too many questions.”

I kept my eye on the beautiful ring as I spoke, slowly twirling it around to catch it twinkling in the light.

"I had such a hard time picking that out. I knew what you wanted, but I had to get it right for you. I'm so glad you kept it."

"I did try to sell it. I was stood outside of a shop for ten minutes debating with myself. It would have helped a lot for the deposit on the room, but I couldn't do it."

We were silent, both staring at the ring. We used to do that a lot actually. Finn would take my hand and hold it up as we laid in bed together, both giggling as we watched it glisten like it was in present times, before squealing at the thought of us being married to each other. I constantly fiddled with it when he was off on business, a habit which never wore off, even now; whenever I was nervous or worried, I would automatically do the same action, just without the ring.

A waiter awkwardly interrupted us, and I hurriedly put the ring back in my bag, sharing an embarrassed smile with Finn as we ordered. Once he was gone, I quietly sighed, looking out of the window. We were in such a nice part of town, so many ladies in beautiful dresses and men in smart suits strolling around.

"Are you...are you OK for money?" Finn boldly asked.

I was a little shocked by that.

"I don't mean anything by it. I just want to make sure you're OK, I would hate for you to be struggling, if you were."

"Uh, no, no I'm fine actually. It's not as generous as my old wage but it keeps me alive, I can live with the bare necessities."

I could see him itching to say something else, to keep the conversation going. I wasn't sure if we could go back to the serious topic we had before. However, I also wanted to bring it back up, it felt like we needed to talk about us.

"How's the family?" That's all I could come up with.

"They're fine. Everyone is the same. Well, they're not, they're a bit more serious nowadays."

"They weren't in the first place?"

He smiled."I suppose they were. Tension is the right word, tensions have been rising. Tommy's taking on a lot more, Polly knows all these secrets that no one else does, Ada is rebelling against anything Tommy says, Linda is still annoying, Esme and John have been popping kids out left, right and centre. Arthur is still crazy."

"Sounds like business as usual to me."

"They miss you too."

"Do they?"

"Yeah. Almost as much as me."

I cast my eyes down as butterflies rose in my stomach.

"I heard nothing else for the next few weeks after you left. They all told me what an idiot I was, that I was an extremely reckless, stupid and immature boy, and that I had let the best thing in my life get away from me. And they were right. I knew all of that already."

"I...I don't really know what to say right now."

"You don't have to say anything, let's just enjoy this meal, no more of that talk."

The nerves making my stomach flip built at that. What if we had nothing else to talk about? What if it was too weird to dive into our separate lives? I didn't want to sit across my ex-fiance, painfully and politely smiling through forced conversation.

The spark was still there.

When the waiter had returned with our drinks, we were already deep in talk about what had been happening in our personal everyday life. We were non stop, even as we ate through dinner. The waiters had trouble catching our attention each time they checked on us. I was deep in those eyes again, the ones I always dreamed of seeing. We were laughing hysterically, not at all acting how we should have in that establishment (there were a few eye rolls from other patrons). As if time had gone by in a second, the bill was slipped towards Finn, though I still reached into my purse.

"Are you mad? No, put your money away, I'm not taking it." Finn stated as he carelessly threw down some notes, surprisingly taking my hand in his and guiding me out of the restaurant.

I was tense as we walked, and I saw a flash of realisation in Finn's eyes as we made it outside. Both looking down at our interlocked fingers, Finn broke away, clearing his throat.

"Sorry, force of habit."

Hesitating, I smiled up at him, lacing our hands together again."These are new heels I'm breaking in. Need help walking in them."

He chuckled, pulling me closer as we walked down the street. We were silent, feeling like kids in love again. I couldn't deny that my feelings were still strong for Finn, I missed him dearly. At first, part of me had been wary of all this, wondering if he really had good intentions, or just thought he could get a quick shag in from an ex before he left; but the effort he went through, the things we spoke about, trying to heal old wounds, Finn had matured and he was wanting to fix this. I wanted to fix this, my heart was aching for my old life with him.

“We’re not done yet, are we?” I timidly asked.

“Not unless you want it to be.”

I instantly shook my head.“No, I’d like to stay out for longer.”

“Even though you’re struggling in your heels?”

I smirked.“I know a nice place we can sit down.”

I took him to the local park, it had a huge lake with benches dotted around, luckily it wasn’t busy, there was somehow a hint of privacy here. We sat down close to each other, hands still entwined.

“You still hungry?” I asked.

“Hm?”

I dug into my purse, producing a bag of sweets I had bought the previous day. I laughed as his eyes lit up, taking one without even asking. I took one too, reminiscing on how we used to do the same thing as kids. It seemed he was thinking about it too.

“Just like the old days.” Finn said.

“We spent way too much money on sweets back then. It’s a wonder we still have our teeth.”

“Wish I got out of that spending habit. We could be married and in our new house by now.”

“So you never wanted to move on? You didn’t give in to those girls wanting to be with a Peaky Blinder?”

“Never. I couldn’t. I couldn’t even fathom being with anyone else, it was always you (Y/N). Did you date?”

“No, I felt exactly the same. Which is why I was angry at myself for a long time. I was supposed to be upset with you, not still in love.”

His head whipped round to face me.“You still love me?”

My mouth was still open, unsure how to answer. It seemed I didn’t have to as Finn leaned in, placing on hand on my cheek as we kissed. Instinctively I kissed back, placing my hands on him where I could, hearing the bag of sweets fall to the ground and spill its contents. This kiss was needy, the type of kiss you gave your partner when you had missed them, when they had been away for a long time; and although we had our hands on each other, our touch was still gentle.

“Get the ring.” Finn breathed out, our lips still almost touching.

I carelessly got it for him, heart beating extremely fast. He took it from me, pecking me on the lips one last time before standing up. He straightened out his suit, took a deep breath and got down on one knee. I was just as emotional the first time he did it.

“(Y/N), I know I messed up everything in the past, I was careless when I should have been supportive and helped to build our future. I learnt from those mistakes, and I really, really want to go back to how we were. I need you (Y/N), I love you so much. There aren’t enough words to express how much love I have for you. Will you marry me?”

I didn’t need to think about my answer. I blurted out a yes, waiting for him to slide the ring back on my finger before throwing myself onto him. We stumbled back onto the ground, our arms around each other as we laughed and cried. I believed him this time, I truly believed him. He put in the effort to show me his changes, he wanted to fix everything. I wanted things back to the way they were with my man, and we were back to building our future and living the rest of our lives together.

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