#I know this is an incredibly reductive way to look at it but it's kind of weird that that's the catalyst for 50% of the romances in the gam

[comradekatara]

what genres of music do you think the gaang would listen to? what about some of their favorite artists? i think katara would be a big olivia rodrigo fan and that aang would listen to a lot of taylor swift lol

aw come on now be nice to aang. he would have better taste than THAT. i think he would listen to a lot of disco, like donna summer. he would like upbeat funky music that you can dance to. and he’d have a pretty eclectic and varied music taste. like i see him also loving joanna newsom (and not just because divers is about his life). and maaayyybe he’d listen to taylor swift, like one or two songs perhaps, but his ass would NOT be a swiftie.

that said, katara would feel very passionately about her, although whether positively or negatively i do not know. but there is no way she is simply swift-neutral. she would care way too much about pop culture as a phenomenon. i think that even if she really did love taylor swift she’d always preface her name with “famous climate criminal…”

and look, i respect olivia rodrigo, i think she’s a talented performer and makes great songs for amvs (ty lee all american bitch kendall roy brutal nanami vampire, to name a few highlights), but if anything, katara would listen to actual 90s riot grrrl and female singer songwriters, because olivia is simply not as good as her inspirations.

katara would also listen to any music that has a subversive political message or is sung by a woman with eminently powerful vocals. so a combination of punk, folk, some gospel, some heavy metal, and a lot of r&b. also i think she’d listen to very specific shwotunes and defend those musicals with her life.

sokka doesn’t have a music “taste” he has one song that he plays on repeat for weeks until he gets sick of it. sometimes that song is a symphony by beethoven, and sometimes that song is “fireworks” by mitski (okay, it’s often “firework” by mitski). but his one constant is kate bush. he’s fucking obsessed with kate bush.

toph grew up a piano prodigy so she has a lot of opinions on classical music and that’s most of what she listens to for the first decade or so of her life. then she gets introduced to like, tracy chapman and fiona apple through katara and sokka, and realizes that classifying all music with lyrics as “trash” may have been a bit reductive. and when she gets a bit older she gets really into indie rock and begs sokka to take her to concerts. and he doesn’t even really care for the concerts. he just takes her because he knows how much she loves it.

zuko is a mitskigirl thru and thru. i know that ppl say he’d be emo and listen to mcr but that music is too coarse and unpolished for his sensitive ears. he likes music with a beautiful melancholy quality that makes him feel sad yet gorgeous. he also listens to jbrekkie and jay som and other musical equivalents to ocean vuong. he’s literally gaysian what do u want from him.

suki is by far the most into music of anyone in their friendgroup. music is one of her favorite things in the entire world, and if she couldn’t play and listen to music she wouldn’t even want to exist. she’s in an indie folk rock band with her friends called the kyoshi warriors, and they have a lot of followers on bandcamp. she has an incredibly varied and extensive music taste, which is why she’s basically always designated the aux cord. sometimes she’s playing the cranberries and sometimes she’s playing googoosh and sometimes she’s playing otyken. and her taste never misses.

ty lee is one of those freaks who doesn’t really listen to music by choice. instead, she listens to: true crime podcasts, audiobooks (eg, of lacanian psychoanalysis), or sometimes simply has her earbuds in with nothing actually playing so as to seem as if she isn’t eavesdropping on the conversations taking place in her vicinity. but when people ask her what kind of music she likes she just says, “oh, you know…. pop.”

mai is also a mitskigirl she’s even more of a mitskigirl than zuko is (so she claims, although zuko would contest this). she’s very active on spotify because she loves making various playlists for different moods, different vibes, different blorbos from her shows. she likes all different genres, and takes suki’s recommendations very seriously above all.

azula’s two favorite artists are, unfortunately, rachmaninoff and kanye, and that’s all you really need to know about her.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Derrick! I'm so happy you could make it down for the weekend! Thank you, so much!" Marcy said.

"No problem. I'm trying to be more spontaneous, my cousin asks me to go to the beach for the weekend--fuck it, what else am I gonna do? Drink beer and jerk off?"

"Awww, still no girlfriend? Boo!"

"Yep, still single. But it's nice to see you again! You're looking as.... wow as ever."

Marcy giggled. "Thanks, Derrick..... so, I wanted us to spend the weekend together because this Monday something special is happening..."

"Special, like what?"

"Well, I got this new job, and I need to look more professional, as my boss puts it, and I mean..... having these huge boobs was nice while I was in sorority and partying a lot. They were a ton of fun, but they look pretty silly on me now. So, he talked me into getting them reduced! I'm actually going all the way down to an A-cup, if you can believe it."

"Holy shit.... all for a job? Damn, rest in peace. I think they look incredible on you."

Marcy bounced them for her cousin. "No duh you do! You're a guy, seeing these huge jiggly breasts makes your cock hard!"

"Uhhh..... what? My.... did I just hear you right?"

Marcy reached out and stroked Derrick's cock through his shorts. "Wow, so much bigger than it used to be! What, you think I didn't notice how hard it used to be when we were together? Or how you used to jerk off watching me toss and turn, conveniently with my boobs falling out of my top?"

"You.... knew about all of that?"

"You're so bad at hiding it. I counted at least five times you came in your pants just looking at my boobs, which is why I'd always go braless when you visited."

"And you weren't grossed out, seeing me drool all over your tits like that?"

"Grossed out? No way! I found it so flattering! We're both out of college, in our mid twenties, what's stopping us from finally having some adult fun? This weekend, you can be my boyfriend. I want you to treat me how you've always fantasized about treating a girl. You can spank me or grope me in public, kiss me all you want, slap my tits around. Or just fuck me in front of all the tourists you like. Your call."

"All because your boobs are getting chopped off on Monday?"

"Exactly! Someone might as well enjoy them, and I remembered you clearly fantasized about my breasts an awful lot. I hope you aren't too bummed that they'll be shrunk down to such a pathetic little size."

"Nah, it'll be fun seeing you get humiliated like that for a job. I hope you're left with just two nipples tinier than mine on a totally flat chest."

"Ooooo, so you wanna see my boobs get ruined as much as my boss does, then?"

"I take it he has a thing for embarrassing you and this isn't just about professionalism?"

"Mayyybe...." Marcy giggled. "He just adores demeaning me anyway he can in front of my colleagues. He's actually going to have my breast reduction filmed live for us all to watch over a Zoom call. They'll have my boobs numbed then picked apart as I'm awake. The best part is it'll be happening during a big, two-hour meeting with the regional management of our company. So I'll be introduced and start discussing our sales and operations' figures, only for my clothes to be removed, my tits numbed, and my breasts reduced to nothing all as I'm participating in this big meeting, speaking with regional for the very first time...."

"Damn, that's so cruel it's kind of hot."

"I know, right? I'm so happy you'll enjoy seeing me lose my boobs, even though they make your cock so hard! I'll give you the room code and password so you can watch the meeting, while we're at it."

"And in the meantime, I'll make sure these juicy tits are nice and swollen and bruised by monday. Wouldn't want them to look neglected for your big meeting."

Marcy blushed as Derrick pulled out her breasts, kneading and squeezing them as she giggled, "They belong to you, just like the rest of me, all weekend long! ❤️"

[focsle]

Re: the little 19th century wooden dick in a box…I so wish that the way historical sex was discussed today wasn’t mostly…Reductive Misery. It’s so much more common for conversations and studies about historical sex to be centered on Sex-As-Oppression, Moral Crusades, or We’re Only Going To Talk About It In Terms Of Family Planning.

Like…yes, historically, a lack of access to contraceptives and the reliability of those contraceptives is a huge thing. Yes a lack of access to preventatives and the safe and effective treatment of venereal disease is a huge thing. Yes, there could absolutely be a lack of agency around sex depending on the societal setting someone found themselves in. But….people also had fun…people also enjoyed themselves. People were sexy about it and goofy about it and fond about it.

I always kind of think about sex history compared to food history, and how differently the two are treated. Because in looking at food history it’s also something that can be rife with pain and anxiety—starvation and famines, a lack of access to decent food, exploitation, poor food practices and adulterated foods that caused sickness and death, all of these things caused a huge deal of human suffering. But there’s also joy and warmth and shared humanity and daily rituals connected to food, the same way that those things can be connected to sex. But only one gets the benefit of being explored in such a way.

It just feels so strange to me (even though I know Why It Is) that something that can be so fundamental to someone’s life and identity and covers an…incredibly broad range of human experience that can absolutely echo in our present just…doesn’t get the treatment it deserves.

[phoenixkaptain]

Honestly I can’t help but find it a bit reductive the way some fans act like Luke Skywalker is only ever adorable and he’s never intimidating.

Pardon me for saying this, but how fucking rude! This man killed a rancor with all the odds against him. He didn’t kill Darth Vader, but he stood over Darth Vader’s fallen form, a position that he put Darth Vader in himself. He stared down at the collapsed body of the Emperor’s attack dog and he thought about killing him. He considered killing him. Luke’s death count is well over a million people. The blood of well over a million people stains his hands. You don’t think that’s the kind of thing that changes a person? You don’t think that’s the kind of thing that would change someone on a deep, fundamental level?

To his enemies, he’s a spectre, a myth, he’s like chasing smoke through the air. But, he’s a spectre to his allies, too. Nobody knows where Luke is, aside from maybe Leia, because Luke wanders. Whether you’re looking at the extended universe or the Disney universe, Luke spent a long time going to seemingly random places without telling anyone before he left.

Don’t you think that Luke would be terrifying, from either side? This man who destroyed the Death Star, and with it, one million people. This man who can vanish without a trace. This man who wanders the galaxy and smiles in the face of danger. This man who witnessed the death of Death himself, Darth Vader, the only person with a kill count higher than Luke’s. And this man watched him die, and reports vary on whether or not he was the one who killed him.

The Rebels must hold Luke on another level. They must view him as untouchable. They view him as a Jedi of old, but one of the Jedi of old who were more akin to gods than men. Who’s going to speak against a man who could silence you without raising a finger? Even if they know he won’t hurt them, don’t you think there’s always that trickle of fear in their hearts, sending a chill down their spines? Don’t you think there’s doubt? A voice that says, “First was the Death Star. Second was the Emperor. You could be next, but you wouldn’t even rank as above a worm on his list”?

And it goes without saying that he’s a monster to his enemies. He’s on the same level as a kraken to a sailor. They know that he would not hesitate to kill them. They know that being a foot soldier doesn’t mean they won’t die if they get in his way. He’s a man who can break out of traps that are thought to be impossible to break out of. He’s a man who can crumble death troopers like tin cans without strain. He’s a man who is not on the same level as these mortals, and how could they ever forget that?

It’s incredibly reductive of a complex and three dimensional character to act like he can’t be taken seriously. It’s reductive not to take him seriously. If you’re writing something with Luke in it, no matter what role you’re having him take on, you have to take him seriously! Because you have to take ALL of the characters you write seriously!

That doesn’t mean you can’t mock him. Of course, makingn fun of characters is how a lot of people show their love for the character. But you can’t act like Luke Skywalker always fails at being intimidating. That’s reductive to the character, but it’s also rather rude to Mark Hamill, isn’t it? You’re saying that a talented actor is bad at acting. Hamill took the role seriously, and you can feel that when you watch the movies. At the very least, grant him the distinction of being passable. His acting isn’t perfect, sure, but it’s not like Luke never comes across as intimidating!

I don’t know. It bothers me when people reduce the character down to just being cute. He is! He’s hot, I’ve had a crush on Mark Hamill specifically since I was like ten, Luke Skywalker wears clothes that are incredibly flattering despite the fact that they shouldn’t be so flattering and it’s very attractive and sometimes my heart flutters when I see him in his orange jumpsuit, but none. Of. That. Matters. Because you can’t just act like all people who are attractive can’t also be scary. You can’t just pretend that horror monster Luke Skywalker can’t be both intimidating and adorable.

It’s like enjoying Leia only for the way she looks in a bikini. You’re reducing a well-written character down to their looks. And you CAN like a character just for how they look! That isn’t morally wrong!! Thought crimes were made up by the church because they want all human beings to feel as sinful as the lying sons of bitches are themselves!!! If you like a character just because you find them cute or hot or whatever, that’s! Just! Fine!

But please try to remember that enjoying the way someone looks isn’t the only way to enjoy someone. This rule goes for reality and fiction both. And I know I’m coming across as such a weirdo, telling you how to think, but I’m not trying to tell you how to think. I’m trying to help you understand that I am shorter than Luke Skywalker and I have made grown men quake, so seeing a character be reduced to being “cute” fills me with irrational rage at least partially because of the misogeny I faced in my youth.

[dross-the-fish]

I can't find it now but I saw a post where you said Erik's mask isn't a comfort item. Why do you think it isn't? Why would he get so angry at Christine if it wasn't?

Ok, I'm about to get ranty and it's not directed at you specifically so don't take it personally.

I hate the take that Erik's mask is his "security blanket" or his "comfort device" because it's incredibly LAZY.

It's fucking lazy. It's a lazy and reductive take and it almost always comes with the intent of woobifying Erik and villainizing Christine.

Erik does not find his mask comforting, he feels he has to wear it to conceal himself and if anything he gives the sense that he would much rather be able to live without it. He's angry at Christine for a few reasons and I speculate some of them are not even about Christine.

The most obvious and superficial reason is that his carefully laid plan has gone to shit

Erik believed whole heartedly that if Christine didn't know what he looked like that she might be compelled to return to him if he let her go. My guess is that he had planned to try and win her over and wait to tell her the truth after they re-built some of the lost trust...trust lost because he lied to her...and kidnapped her.

Erik is a wee bit unhinged.

But I also think there's more to his freak out. This may be headcanon on my part but I always interpreted this

As being something of a traumatized response. Not because the mask gives him comfort or something like that, but because when someone is deformed, especially back in that time period, people often stared or treated them like a horror novelty. Erik has no doubt endured a life time of people trying to look at his face as some kind of morbid curiosity to be gawked at and Christine snatching it may have put him back in that mindset and he is PISSED.

His bit about "Women being inquisitive" also strikes me as him referencing things that happened before. I almost wonder if Christine wasn't the first person to catch his interest and if he's tried this before with....horrible results.

It reads less like "Oh no! You took my safety blanket! Now I'm exposed and vulnerable!" and more akin to

This specifically is why I hate the whole "mask is his comfort item" take because it makes Erik sound like a toddler throwing a tantrum because someone took his binky and paints Christine as being somehow in the wrong for wanting to see her kidnapper's face.

A thing she had already demanded of him previously which he denied without giving any explanation whatsoever. I cannot stress enough that Erik is the one with the power in this scenario. They are in his house, he has her trapped and he has been the older mentor/protector figure in her life for some time. The scale is tipped in HIS favor, not hers. I've always felt that at this point in their relationship her taking off the mask is, in a way, her trying to level the field because he's had her at such a disadvantage this whole time.

And that's not to say that Christine doesn't have feelings of some kind for Erik. Christine's feelings for Erik are messy and complicated but there is an undeniable fear and discomfort that she expresses over her captivity. She does pity him enough to come back, I think she also feels a lingering attachment to him, despite everything, but Erik keeps making. The. Worst. Possible. Choices.

To be clear, Christine is not in any way to blame for "provoking" Erik. He is a victim of the the time period and the society he lives in but he is not in any way shape or form CHRISTINE'S victim.

Erik isn't to blame for how he's been treated by the world at large and he's clearly been through some shit, he deserves sympathy but that doesn't make his treatment of Christine ok or make it Christine's job to give him affection and companionship.

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

robbie on a thursday

"we have to stop doing this," annie said. "eventually."

"eventually," robbie said, still breathing hard. he'd just fucked annie in the ass.

she hobbled to the bathroom and got in the shower to rinse the cum off of her back. robbie came in with her. "you have an incredible asshole," he said.

"thanks babe," she said.

she liked to think of what she was doing with robbie was purely recreational - like masturbating. but the truth was, she often felt herself craving his touch. she often thought about the way his cock felt inside her when he was cumming, the way it pulsed and twitched.

with ted out of the picture and the fall coming on strong, annie had stopped shaving her pussy completely, and that night they fell asleep with robbie's hand on her light bush. he woke her up in the morning by touching her, and then rolling her onto her stomach and fucking her from behind.

he finished on her stomach and then they laid there awhile. robbie checked his phone. he had a text from their mom, a picture of herself in bed with her panties on one thigh, touching herself. "dad was out of here early so i'm taking care of myself," she said.

"so hot," he said. "send a video."

she did as she was told, sending along a video of her fingers dancing around her cunt and playing with her clit. robbie got hard again and made a video of himself stroking his cock and sent it to her.

"so big!" she replied. then she sent a video of herself finishing. she was quite vocal. annie was taken with her breathy refraid of "fuck fuck fuck." annie helped robbie with her mouth until he was ready to cum, and then she moved away. he made a video of his cumshot and sent it to her. "amazing," she replied.

at work that day, mark came over to annie's office to tell her about a new patient. a guy his age, mark said, who was constantly comparing women he dated to his mother and finding them lacking. he said the guy would even say things like he preferred the look of his mother's trimmed pubic hair to the way the women he hooked up with shaved.

"how often was this guy seeing his mom's bush growing up?" annie asked. they were walking outside to smoke now.

"i guess like, a lot. he said in particular she was bottomless often. like, had a bad habit of spilling stuff on her pants all the time and taking them off and then not getting dressed again for a while and also apparently rarely wearing underwear."

"his mom sounds cool," annie said.

"she was really young," he said. "had him when she was fifteen, killed herself before she turned 40."

"yikes," annie said. "i mean, i get it. if you were a hot young mom and then that went away?"

"that's kind of reductive isn't it?"

"women are not very complicated," annie said. "we want to be thought of as fuckable. we want to control who thinks that and when, but we still want it to happen."

"who do you want to see you as fuckable?" mark said, not even flirting, just curious. mark had a really hot wife. annie had never even considered the possibility.

"everyone," annie said. "lately, i think i might even be... gay?"

mark chuckled. "how serious are you about that?"

"uh, well, i guess, i really do like cocks, and i want someone to get me pregnant at some point. but having sex with women is... amazing."

"i know," mark said.

"yeah," annie laughed. "wow!"

annie had two cigarettes with mark, went back up to to her office, threw up, and texted julia. "come over and eat me out tonight."

"ok," julia said. "can i bring my boyfriend?"

"no," annie said.

[dadrielle]

One thing I really appreciate about the Laudna conversations in C3E49 is how much both of them showcase her as a complex, mature, and incredibly emotionally intelligent person.

There's been a tendency since she's been revived - that I fall back into too sometimes! - to expect her to be fragile. I reckon we all expected her to be much more withdrawn much longer than she was, more doubly traumatized? And all fandoms since the dawn of time want to take the angst to the extreme, to explore the most wrenching possibilities. And that's cool and fun but sometimes it sort of obscures the canon? Like sometimes I feel like analysis of her is done through a lens of her being fearful and desperate and shattered in a way that is reductive.

Because while she's obviously not fine about the whole experience, Laudna's not nearly so wrecked as she's sometimes made out to be. Which makes sense! The fact that she survived 28 years alone except for Delilah in her head means that she has a kind of hard won endurance that's almost inconceivable - and this time she woke up surrounded by love, her abuser gone, after having the memories of some of her worst moments suffused with love too*, and while the feeling of debt is weighing on her as she said - I think the love is stronger. She's healing again and faster for having her foundation to rest on this go around. And what's more, she's quietly watching her little family and reaching out to gently mend their cracks as well.

The ways she's done that are different for Ashton and Imogen in this episode because she understands that they respond to different kinds of talk. (God, I wanna talk each of them too, but later.) Neither of those conversations IMO were her being more real or more honest - they're both expressions of care tailored to their recipients, you know? Because Laudna loves her little family, and she's been doing this for them all. Telling Fearne that she supported the decision to do the coin flip and they could blame it on the changebringer. Telling FCG that meaning is something you have to carve out for yourself. This talk with Ashton. Checking in with Imogen always.

God, I just love her so much.

*I know the Hells didn't actually change her past but she said that they made the memory with her creating Pate better when she looks back on it now, and so it stands to reason it's the same with the others

[the---hermit]

Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

I am not a huge memoir reader, but you can bet that if it's a graphic memoir I will pick it up, plus I want to expand my queer book collection, and this book was an amazing addition, that I know I will reread in the future. The author is non-binary and uses e/em/eir pronouns, which I never had to use before so if I fuck up while writing and editing please let me know. With this being said Gender Queer is a memoir and focuses on the author's journey of getting to know eir own self from a sexuality and gender point of view. But it feels reductive to describe this book as just that. The author does a great job at telling the story of eir life without skipping on all the existential crisis, the confusion and the fear. It's a very raw and honest work in my opinion, and it's amazing just because of that. Em couldn't have done a better job at explaing this complicated journey with all its ups and downs. There's fear and confusion, but also joy in getting to understand yourself more. It doesn't skip on any kind of thought, there's a few points that hit so close to home, ans that will keep sparking thoughts. The way the author talkes about gender and eir way of presenting is incredibly clever. I particularly liked how em used a landscape to talk about gender. It's not easy to put into words how good this graphic memoir is, and the fact that it was banned so much is scary and should be a good enough reason to pick it up. I feel like this could be a great way to let non-queer people understand a little better how figuring these things about yourself is, and how complex it gets. It's a little like being in the author's head sometimes, which is why I feel like this could be a great tool for queer allies to understand some things on a deeper level. As a queer person who is actually pondering a lot of these questions, it was very comforting to read about someone who stuggled just as much, but honestly reminds you of how layered and complicated these things are. Additionally I really liked the illustrations, the colour palette felt nice and overall I just really liked the look of this book (I should mention my edition which is the Italian on wasn't as curated as it should have because a few pages were blurred to a point you couldn't clearly read, which is absolutely unacceptable especially for how expensive graphic novels are. I never had such problems with this publisher, but that was kinda disappointing because I expected a bit more cure on the details, but again that is the Italian publisher's fault).

I read this for the jumbo reading challenge non binary author prompt.

[duplicitywrites]

Hi Duplicity! I’m asking you this with no intention to cause offence, and because you’re a creator in this fandom I like a lot, but how do you balance your content with JKR Rowling’s views ? I keep seeing people say that we should all stop consuming and producing Harry Potter content, because despite the intention, or Hc-ing it to suit our views, any engagement with the source material is bringing it to attention, and thus bring her and her hateful views against Trans people to attention, furthering her platform by ensuring her works remain in the collective mind of many people instead of letting it die out and somehow contributing to her legacy. I know you’re very very supportive of LGBTQ+ folks and seem like a very kind person, and I’m not insinuating at all you support JKR herself, but how do you deal with that implication and the unintentional effects your fanfics may have ? Just because it is somewhat true that fandom fuels popularity that fuels profit and yada yada. Please don’t take this the wrong way! Thank you and bless you for your writing ❤️

no offense taken! i hope you'll take my response the same way 💗

to be blunt, i think people who say that we should cease any engagement with the source material are wrong. the equation of content consumption with someone's personal morals is reductive and ultimately harmful.

this (often literal) armchair activism disrespects and disregards the very real efforts people make on a day to day basis -- whether that be through volunteer work, charitable donations, or simply serving as support to friends/family who are a part of those very minority groups that those naysayers claim to advocate for.

jkr is extremely vocal about her garbage opinions -- why are people not directing their ire at her instead of the random strangers they encounter on the internet? well, strangers on the internet are easier targets. it's easier to get a response. it's easier to ostracize and bully someone who doesn't have the security and following that a public figure like jkr has.

it's concerning to me how the concept of "doing the right thing" has shifted more and more towards "attacking the 'wrong' people". who is the target in these situations? is it actually a transphobic person who is being criticized, or is it someone who just likes harry potter? because in most situations i've seen, it's the latter. moral policing in fandom spaces has only gotten worse as the internet slowly morphs into one homogeneous corporate blob, and this is just another example of it taken too far.

harassing someone for liking harry potter doesn't miraculously make them a good person -- it doesn't make them morally superior. it just makes them someone who likes to attack others to feel better about themselves, someone who often looks for 'acceptable' excuses to do so. i'm secure enough in myself that i don't let this bother me, and i certainly don't accept anyone who thinks this way as a 'better' person than me.

i know i am not responsible for the opinions and actions of my readers. it is insanity to claim my writing harry potter fanfiction is making transphobes be transphobic, just as it is equally ridiculous to claim that writing about murder will turn people into murderers.

personally, i believe the best step is to not financially support harry potter as a franchise. this means not paying for official merch/content. but that's my own business -- i won't judge, insult, or attack the people who do, and that's because it would be hypocritical to hold anyone to this standard.

what about disney? what about walmart, or amazon, or any other company that profits off of the misery of minorities and the disadvantaged? people will say there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, but that is just another black-and-white approach to an incredibly nuanced topic.

the world we live in is flawed, with "problematic" humans involved at every level of society. there is no clear answer for every situation, so at the end of the day, i can't and won't tell you what to do or what to think, other than encourage you to make these decisions for yourself.

as individuals, the best thing we can do is take responsibility for ourselves. think critically about the actions we take and the impact these actions have on others. live the best life we can under the circumstances we've been given.

(much better than dunking on someone for putting their hogwarts house in their social media bio.)

[trans-axolotl]

hi! no rush in answering this and I hope it all works out with your job, sending good vibes. I wanted to ask for some advice as my partner hss AFRID and (probably) anorexia. they've been refered for help for the AFRID stuff specifically and they (for very valid. and obvious reasons) don't feel comfortable opening up to drs about the other loads of eating problems they have. Now they are being monitored and freaked about abt the need to gain weight etc

Im helping them as best I can but it feels very us 2 (and our friends) vs the rest of the world plus that I feel I'm p much winging random stuff that Might help see what sticks. We are trying to find some middle ground were they can make some "progress" so they aren't coerced into something they really don't want to do by drs and so they can have a little more energy etc etc.

We are also both still living at our parents and it's all just not ideal. rn. Any advice at all would help really, is there anything I should do and anything I really shouldn't? just typing it up to someone who won't tell me to force them to get themselves admitted is already a relief tbh thank u for ur work on harm reduction <3

Hey anon! Thanks for reaching out. It can be so hard to find any information about how to support people with eating disorders that isn't just "Go get professional treatment right now," so I will do my best to share some stuff that we've been talking about in my harm reduction + peer support networks!

Correct me if I'm retyping your situation incorrectly, but my understanding of what you shared is that your partner has ARFID and is also having other struggles with eating more related to anorexia in terms of fears about weight gain, body image, etc. Their doctors know about the ARFID and are receiving some sort of treatment for the ARFID, but the treatment is triggering some more of the anorexia stuff because of the increased monitoring.

This sounds like a difficult situation for both your partner and you as a support person, and I can understand how stressful it is to have to worry about coercive treatment on top of trying to figure out ways to cope with disordered eating in the first place. It sounds like you've been doing a really good job supporting your partner and listening to what they need, and trying out lots of different things to see what's helpful for them. I'll share some tips, but as always, what works for one person won't work for another! Asking your partner and collaborating with them to figure out what their exact needs and wants are is always going to be the most important.

@librarycards just made a post about harm reduction in eating disorders that I'm going to link to. I'm not going to restate everything they wrote, but one thing they talk about is identifying what feels like a necessity that can't be changed right now, and what things feel like there could be some wiggle room and space for change right now. If your partner is open to it, it might be helpful to sit down and make a list of what kind of eating disorder behaviors feel absolutely necessary right now that can't be changed, and what things feel more flexible. I think it's really important to be able to do this nonjudgmentally--a lot of eating disorder recovery spaces argue that "recovery" is all or nothing, and that allowing any kind of eating disorder behaviors is a failure. It can be really important to use a harm reduction approach to identify goals that actually feel doable for us, instead of saying the only option is to stop every eating disorder behavior and mindset 100%. That will look different for everyone, but explicitly giving yourself permission to continue some eating disorder behaviors can sometimes help people meet other goals around energy, quality of life, etc that are important to them. I know for me, having both ARFID and anorexia made it incredibly difficult to try to focus on dealing with both at the same time. I completely stopped trying to focus on any ARFID goals in increasing variety or challenging sensory needs, and instead just focused on figuring out coping skills and how to meet the energy needs for my body. Giving myself permission to only eat safe foods, ignore social norms around food, etc, helped me a little bit with figuring out how to cope with some of my restrictive urges. It might be worth figuring out with your partner what goals feel like priorities at the moment, and making a plan together.

Another thing that I found super helpful in my own journey with the ARFID and anorexia combo was learning about fat liberation and discussing it with other people. Basically all mainstream eating disorder treatment doesn't bother to spend anytime talking about fat liberation or fatphobia, and usually actually perpetuates a lot of fatphobia. I think that being able to dismantle the societal ideas we learn about weight gain, fatness, and diet culture is super important for everyone, and I think that for disorderly eaters, it can also be super important to track how that influences our own self-understanding of our eating. This list by Rachel Fox is a great starting point for fat liberation resources. For me, it was super helpful to be able to read through articles and books about fat liberation and discuss them with other people, and build a political understanding of fatness that allowed me to connect what I was reading to my experience with disorderly eating. If this is something that your partner is interested in, having someone to learn + read with can be super impactful.

I think it can also be crucial to think about your own boundaries and needs as a support person. You are not in charge of "fixing" your partner and your partner does not need to be "fixed." You're allowed to not know the answers to things, need to take breaks to support yourself, and to also be going through difficult times. Both you and your partner's autonomy is important, and figuring out ways to support without feeling responsible or trying to control each other can be really crucial. I can tell how much you care about your partner and it sounds like you're doing a really incredible job with all the ways you're providing care. If either of you ever feels like you need a space in your life to talk about this, ANAD offers peer support groups both for people living with eating disorders and for family/friends of people living with eating disorders.

Other than that, there's not a ton I can think of for things you should or shouldn't do, since it seems like you have pretty good insight into major things to avoid (forcing people into hospitalization, making fatphobic comments, reinforcing diet culture, forcing recovery) and are doing a lot of things right (asking your partner what they need, trying things out and being flexible, making room for harm reduction style goals instead of only "recovery.") Keep asking your partner how to support them, collaborate with them on the best ways to provide them care, and continue being there for them through this hard time.

Truly sending you and your partner the best of luck, anon, and hoping that you both can find some care and healing during this difficult time. All the solidarity and please feel free to send any other asks with more questions, vents, anything, <3 <3 <3

[puppyboner]

Why do you glorify self harm so much? It's disgusting as someone who's actually gone through that...

Because it's hot and I like seeing people suffer silly!

Because self harm was a huge part of my life, still is, and I'm not ashamed of it. I am covered in scars that many people may not notice at first glance. My forearms, my hands, my shoulders, my thighs, my calves, my stomach, there is very little space on my skin that I have not hurt myself on. And through that, I also developed some, intense kinks. I like to see blood, i like to get cut, i like to cut people, i think self harm (active or scars) is incredibly hot.

i could go on the whole "well i think it's beautiful because it's a sign you chose to keep going with life and you're battling your demons blah blah" which is true! my scars are direct proof that i chose to do harm reduction instead of suicide (well, i do have that kind of scar on my arms too, but i don't hate that scar either. lowkey it's one of the prettiest if it was more centered lol)

but that's not the reason i make these posts. i make these posts because people with self harm scars n people who are still self harming (WETHER THEY ARE GETTING HELP OR NOT.), are fucking hot. they are. end of story. they're fucking hot. i see my girlfriends thighs and i see her scars and i wanna dig my nails into them and bite them and kiss them and make her feel loved and make her feel fucking sexy for them. i want her to know that i see her and i see her suffering and i am not looking away, i am looking at it, i am looking at her, and i am loving it. i am lusting after it. i see my own body, and i see scars i used to hide and be ashamed of, and i feel good. i feel hot. people find scars sexy, why the fuck should self harm scars be seen as different?

im sorry you see it as gross anon. im sorry you went through it, or that you still are. i hope you find peace, and i hope you get clean if that's what you want. but please know these posts are made because you deserve to be seen as attractive, not in spite of the scars, but because of them. i don't expect everyone to see it the way i do, but i'd appreciate it people would at least listen and try.

[scoopertrouper]

Would you personally prefer for writers to get stancy together somewhere during season 5 or do you think it's better if we only see them together in an epilogue after a time skip?

the simple answer is that obviously i want to see them together and on screen as much as possible because i need PAYOFF for that incredibly horny upside down bandaging scene.

like, this show is fairly antiseptic when it comes to sex (which is totally fine, know your characters, know your audience etc.) - and then they drop something like THAT right in the middle of the action???

GIVE ME MORE.

but the real answer hinges entirely on whether or not i’m guaranteed endgame. if some sad tack-on epilogue is the only way I get to see steve and nancy together and alive and thriving at the end of the show then fuck it, i have a GREAT imagination and i do not need to see every beat of their relationship.

because more than anything, i fear that my doomsday scenario will play out if we actually get to see stancy get together anytime early on or even sometime toward the middle of s5.

scenario under the cut because it gave me hives just thinking about it. come anon. let’s spiral together.

my doomsday scenario:

since i think it’s been implied that some kind of time jump happens in s5, my nightmare is that they spent s4 laying the groundwork for a stancy reunion so that they can get together in a way that seems organic during whatever kind of interim period takes place during s5.

they’ll give them all the happiness they didn’t the first time around, Steve will have found joy and fulfillment in love and then BAM - when the time comes, they’ll shank him late in the final act of the show for high emotional impact. ☠️

then they’ll either imply or show that j*ncy ultimately found a way back to each other at the end.

at which point I, dear anon, will FINALLY cancel my Netflix subscription and also maybe hurl myself into the closest deep body of water. like completely normal people do.

what i hate so viciously about this scenario (besides the fact that i think Steve death trope is genuinely the worst, most reductive way they could conclude his arc) is that i can kind of sort of actually see it playing out.

i don’t think it’s LIKELY (i honestly believe that if the duffers haven’t killed a main character at this point, they’re not likely to and I’m actually quite happy about that), and i fear the stancy vs j*ncy mutually assured destruction that would result from this moste vile twiste of plot.

but.

they did dangle some serious carrots last season. and this IS a way I could see the writers following them to a conclusion that makes (some) narrative sense without straying from the j*ncy endgame i fully believe they had planned in s1-2.

and I DON’T WANT IT.

anyway I’m sorry anon this went so far beyond what you were asking. in conclusion, give me all the stancy AND give me the endgame i deserve after decades of tv-watching heartbreak. (here’s looking at you how i met your mother. 🫡)

[sleepybeanmal]

TWST Boys Rated 1-10 based on how my (unverifiably)Narcissistic Dad and his side of The Family™️ would approve of them:

Sidenote: This is gonna be a little aggressive so in the next post I’ll rate them how my Mom and her side of the would feel about them and that’ll be really wholesome and sweet. I’ll link it when I post it❣️

For the record, I love them all! This is just how I believe my father’s side of the family would feel about them. All these bois are fantastic options and deserve all the hugs and choccy milk in the world🙏

Edit: Here’s the link to the sequel if y’all wanna hear what The Mother’s Family™️ would think

Heartslabyul

Riddle: 4/10- Aside from looking much younger than me(no disrespect to Riddle stans, I just wouldn’t be attracted to him and thusly wouldn’t take him home because he looks so young), they wouldn’t have much of an opinion, except if The Father™️ or The Family™️ starting getting….well, the way they get….and Riddle stood up for his S/O or challenge the conversation in any way, they’d all probably start being a bit offended, but since Riddle is usually civil first, it’d just be subtle annoyance but not total disapproval. The rest of The Family™️ would just see him as a really intelligent square, which, while being incredibly reductive and disrespectful, is not out of character for them at all.

Trey: 10/10- Boy is so respectful and upstanding and sweet that The Family™️ literally would not care or be able to tell if or why Trey starts to take issue with some of their treatment of me or other family members. The Father™️ would literally kiss the ground upon which this boy walks because he’ll be so excited in thinking that I’ll finally be someone else’s problem and he can just go back to being “The Fun/Cool Parent”. The Father™️ absolutely thinks he’s just him and thusly will view Trey as an extension of himself and might love him more that way.

Cater: 2/10- Wouldn’t be able to look past what he’d view as a shallow obsession with optics. Both The Family™️ and The Father™️ would watch this sweet boy who’s bubbly, very caring, super sweet, and really proud of his S/O take pictures and hype them up and just see it as overblown vanity and just launch subtle jabs at him for being too into his phone or obsessed with social media. This sweet boi would not be treated well by my family, we’d just leave dinner and go get nuggies and choccy milk on our own for fun👍

Ace: 4/10- Acts a lot like some of them but not nearly as subtly hurtful. Ace can absolutely dish out any shade The Family™️ would throw his way, and they would HATE that. We love a boy with a spine but they’d just get annoyed with him in the same way they get annoyed with me. Ace would also be the kind of S/O who’d stand up for himself and his S/O if their The Family™️ or The Father™️ starts being problematic or hurtful or subtly abusive- but only once he catches on. The Father™️ would probably think he’s lazy and rude, but also like his sense of humor.

Deuce: 2/10 except The Grandmother™️ would LOVE him. The Father™️ would feel threatened by how responsible, upstanding, and protective this boi is, and how much effort he clearly puts into everything. He’d find it endearing if he wasn’t so obsessed with his own image of being considered the same way without putting in a fraction of the effort. Comparing The Father™️ to Deuce in terms of how much this boi tries to be a good person would piss him off so badly, and The Aunties™️ would feel the same way and get defensive on behalf of The Father™️. If they also found out that he’s a former delinquent, they’d also absolutely hold that against him. The Grandmother™️, however, would just find him charming, adorable, and would be so chuffed that someone cared about their S/O so much and so clearly. For her he’d be like a 10/10.

Savanaclaw

Leona: 1/10- The only thing that’d even remotely redeem this man in the eyes of The Family™️ and especially The Father™️ is that he’s a literal prince. They’d focus on that and bragging to everyone else they know about it and then immediately turn around and shit talk him for being lazy, sleepy, grumpy, rude, disrespectful, etc., despite the fact that Leona probably made an effort to at least try and be respectful going into the first meeting despite what I would’ve told him about the way The Family™️ and The Father™️ treats me and my sibling. After they start getting shady at him about his habits and second-born status, I fully believe he’d just give up and start ripping them all a new one verbally for the things they’d mcdone to me and my sibling(which I really don’t have much of a problem with him doing). Leona wouldn’t let anyone disrespect or hurt his S/O if it got to the point where he’d be meeting their family imo. He has a backbone for himself AND for his S/O and wouldn’t let The Family™️ keep treating his S/O poorly. He’d probably just pick them up and walk tF out and go get a nice warm drink and a nap to forget about those assholes. Maybe spicy cuddle time. Who knows? Sure beats spending time with The Family™️ after all. The Father™️ would absolutely hate him no matter what. The subtle mcracism would absolutely start coming out too. We don’t like and won’t stand for that in my shitty apartment😤

Ruggie: 6.5/10- The Family™️ would absolutely love that this man is a provider and would be ON. THE. HUSTLE- Notwithstanding that the reason why Ruggie is consistently on the grind is because he struggled with poverty and food insecurity growing up. Ruggie would probably hate The Family™️ imo- they waste SO MUCH food, money, and general resources that I wouldn’t be shocked if he just scoffed and left after hearing them have conversations over dinner. The Father™️ would fall in love with Ruggie’s work ethic and determination though. Again, it’s because they’re things he thinks he has, but that’s beside the point.

Jack: 4/10- Strong? Check. Respectful? Check. Cares about his S/O enough to stand up to authority figures who shoot subtle abuse their way? ABSOLUTELY CHECK. Check check check. The Family™️ would be obsessed with how respectful, responsible, and strong this boi is with bonus points for assertiveness up and until he uses that strength and assertiveness to defend his S/O from subtle verbal abuse or disrespect. The Family™️ would get upset REAL fast. The Gaslight-Gatekeep-Girlbossing from The Aunties™️ wouldn’t take long to come out. The Father™️ would just be pouty and displeased. However, Jack is another boi that The Grandmother™️ would adore. She’d spoil him and be so happy with him. Grandma rating would be another 10/10.

Octavinelle

Azul: 10/10- The Family™️ would LOVE Azul, but he’d hate them. I don’t think he’d stand up to their subtle insults and abuse well; he puts up a great front at first but I think it’d be really hard to endure especially with the kinds of things he’s gone through in his past(I’m really similar here which is where I base this from). Azul is absolutely someone who would love his partner so wholly and completely when he’d get to a certain point in his relationship with them that I fully believe he’d just try to be strong and take it on the chin to remain diplomatic and just try to get through the gathering as smoothly and quickly as possible so that he and if necessary, his S/O, can get out of there to a safe place at home and have a good cry about it. He would need so many hugs and reassurances after a meal with The Family™️ because of how they’d hyperanalyze and criticize every little thing about him. I have a feeling it’d probably as triggering for him as it is for me. Octopod snuggles and choccy milk afterwards for sure.🥺

Jade: -2/10- They would be so unnerved. The Father™️ would probably be very wary and not like the stares and ominous smiles and subtly intimidating way Jade cooly counters any insensitivity or hurtful criticism sent his or his S/O’s way. The Family™️ would be so scared that they’d probably just stay frozen in a tense silence while waiting for someone else to try something, ANYTHING to get another conversation rolling again. Fish Mafia Man isn’t fun for them, and I would enjoy every second of it.

Floyd: -9001/10- Absolutely not. Would call the cops on me AND him, and probably attempt to institutionalize me. Their loss, the Fish Mafia Men will have me out in no time.🥰

Scarabia

Kalim: 1000/10- The Father™️ would adore this respectful lil himbo. He’s too sunshiney and happy and kind to pick up on the subtle awfulness The Family™️ would send his way while trying to pick apart his whole deal. I don’t think he’s so clueless that he’s miss how The Family’s™️ behavior and treatment would affect his S/O though- he’d probably handle it by being world’s best hype boyfriend. The Father™️ would also be over the Moon with how loaded this boi is; tbh, he(or The Family™️) would probably try to weasel even more money or gifts out of Kalim than he’d already inevitably be willing to provide. His S/O would probably have to stop him from giving The Family™️ more shit bc they absolutely don’t deserve it. Protect this boi. Plz. I would never take him home because he’d be so taken advantage of.

Jamil: 7/10- I think Jamil would probably handle The Family’s™️ bullshit by just not acknowledging it. Maybe a huff or a subtle roll of the eyes, perhaps even a diplomatic but well-aimed counterpoint or statement, but he’s absolutely more than smart enough to know the right words to act as counters to their fuckery without starting shit. The Father™️ would really admire and respect Jamil’s work ethic and personal convictions, and honestly I think would actually genuinely get along pretty well with him up and until he tries to complain about something privileged or start getting whiny or performative. The Family™️ would probably just assume Jamil would be perfect husband material otherwise and just ignore him after they get tired of trying to unsuccessfully pick his shit apart. I’d probably Yeet us back home early and just pamper the shit out of Jamil after that bc honestly, just bc he’d be an expert at countering those assholes doesn’t mean that it’s not exhausting or frustrating. Snuggles for all after that bullshit😔🤌

Pomefiore

Vil: 4/10- The Father™️ would be fascinated that he’s a celebrity and would try to be all cool and keep up appearances, and it’d be painfully mid by Vil’s standards. I bet both him and The Family™️ would get pretty fucking miffed after a while with Vil’s indifference and coldness towards them because you just KNOW Vil wouldn’t validate any of their shady and rude fuckery by dignifying it with pleasantries. The Family™️ would be much too intimidated to toe the line with him and wouldn’t bother trying to pick his airtight shit apart, so they’d just go about business as usual. Aside from just not getting verbally belligerent, I believe that coldness is the extent of Vil’s social diplomacy if the people he’s with are disrespecting or passive-aggressively picking on his S/O. Because it’s The Family™️, I don’t think Vil would completely lose it on them, but if he hits his limit, I think he’d just stand up, give everyone a brief but stern statement condemning their conduct, and then just picks his S/O up(probably not literally but you never know) and brings them back home. The Family™️ would be shooketh by such a brief but effective dressing down. Honestly I’d pay money to see it.

Rook: 9/10- I fully believe this man, as loving and well-meaning as he would be towards his S/O, wouldn’t pick up on how shitty The Family™️ is being until he picks up on the effects of their words on them. The thing that stops him from doing so right away would absolutely be the way The Family™️ would eat up every story and dramatic retelling of anything Rook would have to offer in a social setting. He’s so dashing, flamboyant, and vibrant in social settings that The Family™️ would love bomb him 110% and hang on his every word out of his mouth. The Father™️ would be speechlessly impressed by Rook for sure. He’s charismatic, speaks more than one language, is a multitalented student of many subjects, and a whole ass romantic. He’d probably start going back and forth with The Father™️ with jokes and conversations and overblown stories until he starts picking up on The Aunties™️ being shady at his S/O. At that point, when they start getting more visibly affected, he’d definitely be the kind of person to make a polite(albeit dramatic) excuse and whisk his S/O away somewhere safe to decompress and just be together by themselves after that for the rest of the night. He’s a good bean who would just get a lil swept up at first in the manufactured adoration and blinding limelight The Family™️ would laud him with until he loses their interest but would absolutely still take care of his S/O when he catches on.

Epel: 2/10- The first thing The Father™️ would notice is how much this boy looks like an actual child(another one that I wouldn’t actually bring home or be attracted to because of that, no disrespect or shade to the Epel stans💜). The second thing is how belligerent and defensive Epel would get at The Family™️ when they start getting invasive and shady with their questions and comments. Idk but this boy would not last long there. Tbh would probably just drag his S/O out and go have a better time elsewhere doing something fun and wholesome.

Ignihyde

Idia: -10/10: Rude, standoffish, socially awkward, absolutely does NOT want to be there and wouldn’t make a secret of it. I think Idia would easily be able to pick up on not only the elevated expectations and skepticism of The Father™️, but also immediately could pick up on the condescension of The Family™️ RIGHT away. Both he and The Family™️ would hate each other right away. Tbh he might like some of The Cousins™️ though, the younger ones are a lot like Ortho in some aspects. The adults would absolutely despise him though. Defo would need hugs afterwards. He’d probably just leave early with his S/O to go play some games and forget about all the unpleasantness.

Ortho: A literal child. Would not bring home unless Idia wanted his family to meet his S/O’s family. The Father™️ would think he’s super cool though, he’s really into tech.

Diasomnia

Malleus: IDFC/10- I genuinely don’t know how The Family™️would react to Malleus. On one hand, he’s a Prince, which we’ve already established is a HUGE plus. On the other hand, he’s a.) a fae, b.) a literal dragon, c.) goth as fuqq, and d.) unaccustomed to human society, let alone subtly abusive and snide family dynamics. Overall I think The Father™️, while offput at first, would come to kind of like and respect Malleus(until Malleus hears about the shit that The Father™️ has done in the past to wreck my future financially) I don’t think he’d pick up on their bullshit right away because he’s a bit dense when it comes to humans at first, but because he’s so observant of his Child of Man, he’d certainly pick up on it then. He absolutely wouldn’t stand for their treatment towards his S/O, and especially not if his S/O were to pull him aside and explain the full extent of it to him. I doubt he’d torch them but he’d certainly give them the most terrifying talking to of their next three lifetimes. I absolutely would not care how The Father™️ or The Family™️ would think of Malleus because I fully believe that, of everyone on this list, would be the most tender and caring of his S/O after removing both of them from the situation. There would be a learning curve with him but he’s so earnest and gentle towards those he cares about that he’d learn quickly how to help his S/O recover from a triggering get-together with their family.

Lilia: The Family™️.exe has stopped working. Windows is looking for a solution for the problem…/10- Because this man is practically an ancient being who’s done everything from bring up children to participate in history hard enough to literally be in History of Magic textbooks, he would absolutely know what these impudent and pathetic humans are up to the second any sort of cutting words or subtle abuse leaves their mouths. He also wouldn’t stand for it- but he’ll play with his prey before he strikes. Lilia would play 4D chess with The Family™️ and absolutely tee up the most clever and damning of verbal takedowns like it’s running circles around preschoolers. I also fully believe that he’d throw mad shade at The Father™️ when he learns how he handled his failed marriage and how he’s treated his children over the years. Lilia would absolutely wipe the floor with The Family™️ and leave with an ominously jovial smile with his S/O in tow.

Sebek: 0/10- I don’t think I could bring this boi to dinner. MFer would just yell at everybody and get angry at them for bullying his human the second he sees how uncomfortable and upset his S/O is getting. They do things v e r y differently in The Vally of Thorns and Sebek will not allow the people he holds in high regard to be dishonored or disrespected by anyone. His S/O may not be Lord Malleus, but he sure as shit cares about them just as much and just as passionately. He would not leave until he was literally dragged out by his S/O because he would be lecturing The Family™️ so loudly and passionately that their ears would start bleeding. This man absolutely gets slept ok because he will fucken FIGHT for his S/O as long as it doesn’t go against Lord Malleus. No fear.

Silver: 2/10- I’m sure that it can be inferred by my name that, like Silver, I am incredibly sleepy all the time. I may not be falling asleep constantly, but at least one person being constantly exhausted at a gathering is nothing new for them. What is new, however, is how Silver will snap out of his sleepery enough to come to bat for his S/O. I fully believe that he would be very civil but very firm with The Family™️ when he starts to pick up on the snide remarks and passive aggression, and the transition from sleepy boi to knight in shining armor would be jarring for them. The Family™️ doesn’t like people who stand up to them and will take any resistance or counter remarks as disrespectful, and The Father™️ would probably translate Silver’s sleepiness to disinterest and laziness until he comes to at for his S/O in a way that The Father™️ has only done for me once before in my entire ass life. After that happens, The Father™️ would probably accuse him of faking it and being manipulative. Tbh might tell Silver to leave if Silver doesn’t just walk out with his S/O before then. Of all the people on this list, Silver probably would handle the treatment of The Family™️ the most rationally out of everybody when the rubber really meets the road here.

[alltimefail-sims]

In honor of me rising from the dead I think its time I talk about my two(?) fav lore families in the sims franchise the smith-curious and the spector-beaker families and I guess also the singles as well - lore anon

Hello lore anon and welcome back! ❤️

Sorry I took a minute to answer this, it has been a crazy busy couple of days! I'm going to put my whole response under a read more because I have lots of thoughts on this topic!!!

We all took for granted how insane and amazing TS2 lore was. God, I pour one out for her everyday RIP.

Anyway, let's get into this! ↓

Strangetown is my favorite world in TS2 as well! No one is surprised by this I'm sure. I actually ended up tying it (and some of its townies 👀...) into my Strangerville story because I just couldn't help myself. But I'll be honest - the family tree stuff with Lola/Chloe/Jenny/Pollination Tech 9 has always made my brain melt a little. I'm a visual person so I had to reference their family tree as a guide for our conversation. I'll provide the one that I used below!

Lore-wise, you have to start this conversation by talking about alien pollination and normal sim reproduction. You just can't avoid it. For me, I've always seen them as completely separate entities... otherwise Jenny is married to a man who, for lack of a better term, knowingly banged and impregnated her father lmfao. But not only that - if they were the same, that would imply that aliens are abducting people and engaging in sexual relations with them (with willingness or unwillingness not playing a factor; sim abductions can happen to sims who want or fear them) and this is kind of reductive and uncharacteristic of what we know about their species (plus the implications are icky imo). Therefore, I never thought that Pollination Tech 9 would view Lola and Chloe as his children, even though they technically are, in the way that Poli Tech wouldn't view Tycho as his child either (nor would Pascal regard Poli Tech as the father either).

If I'm recalling correctly, I don't think sims are necessarily aware which alien pollinated them in game (even though each sim neighborhood in TS2 has only one Pollination Technician, therefore making all the half-alien babies in that neighborhood half-siblings by default within the limited span of the game). I also don't know that male sims in TS2, from what I remember, are aware they've been pollinated because they're always surprised to find they're "pregnant," meaning there likely wasn't any a-typical intercourse happening that they could connect to the pregnancy (even if, let's be honest, Pascal might have been down for that). I think of pollination as an act similar to cloning, (the wiki says through "advanced technology") or as the name implies it could also just be a consequence of coming into proximity with their species (their name being a reference to reproduction methods of flora by pollination, for example). But realistically... it's a fictional simulation game, and in the case of TS2 it was super campy and a knowingly-leaning-into-the-outrageous kind of simulation game (which I loved and miss). So who knows!

All that to say that I agree; regardless of how the baby process works for aliens, it is still an absolutely crazy family tree lmao. But on the bright side... that at least implies that Pollination Tech 9 wasn't into his wife's father, nor might he be aware that Chloe and Lola are his children. 😅 But I'll stop here because if I think about it for too long, I think my brain might explode lmao. Still, I'm inclined toward the belief that the messiness adds to the flavor! 😂 The Sims team today could never write such a juicy bit of lore. My ass ate their dynamic up.

Also, quick note, JILL HAS EYES IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD?! THAT IS WHY SHE WEARS THE PIGTAILS? WHAT THE HELL?! Gonna look this up -

Holy shit!!! This fact is equal parts incredible and terrifying. Thank you for bringing this my attention. I can't believe I did not know this before this moment. What a (horrifying) little legend.

Oh I loved (and still love) Nervous Subject and Pascal together. Just thinking about that ship makes me giggle because it was one of my first exposures to "shipping" and "fandoms" as a preteen. I always put them together and had them raise little Tycho to fulfill Nervous' family aspiration. (I should note that I was also an avid JRO enthusiast. Johnny has two hands, why should he have to pick between Ophelia and Ripp?) Another interesting layer to the Ophelia/Olive/Nervous family is that Ophelia would be unaware of her direct relation to Nervous (1st cousins)! I loved playing around with this; Olive was a very secretive person who had a dark side for sure, so I'm sure Ophelia would have a lot of questions following her aunt's death (the first being why her aunt's inheritance is going to some rando named Nervous lmao). Plus, who says Ophelia didn't know her aunt was taking people out? She might not have known why, but she had to know all those deaths around Olive couldn't have been coincidental. That's messed up on its own lmao. I like to think that once Nervous and Ophelia meet, they become close and he even helps care for her in a weird-older-brother type way. I just know they would trauma bond lmao.

I didn't care for Loki or Circe (I never played with their household), so I don't have super strong opinions on them. That being said, I love reading people's theories on their connection to the Curious brothers. I think the ongoing feud with the brother's and their connection to Nervous is the most interesting part of their story, but my ideal ending for them would have been being exiled from the town and their careers in general for their shady practices. Pascal seemed like the science antithesis to Loki and Circe who seemed to believe that it was okay for scientific truths to come at the cost of the wellbeing of others. Also, I think Circe is too hot and too evil for Loki AND Vidcund. That's woman commits many crimes, but her taste in men is up there as one of the worst things about her lmao.

Lastly, LAZLO. He's so silly goofy and so chill in comparison to his brothers, and he's definitely the black-sheep of the family. I love how in comparison to Vidcund and Pascal, his personal life is pretty typical and mild. He's just vibing as a third party witness to the chaos. He didn't sign up for any of the drama, yet you know he's a ride-or-die. In my mind, he's also the cool uncle. He'd catch Johnny smoking and be like, "Gotta share little man." He's the best. Little Fun fact - when I watched season 4 of Stranger Things, I couldn't unsee Lazlo Curious every time Argyle opened his mouth.

If you don't see it, that's okay. I can't unsee it though! He's high af, he's precious, he's always has snacks, he will take down the government or transport a dead body for the homies. He should be protected. I totally, 100% agree that Nova is his child!

WHEW sorry for blabbing! Strangetown was a doozy and you're right that the Bella Goth situation adds a whole other intricacy (which I'll definitely be talking about in her specific deep dive post).

So glad to have you back! 🤗

[deathbypixelz]

I had a bit of a revelation today and wanted to share. As it deals with my experience as a woman, I'm going to preface with this: Trans women are women, and this post isn't for anyone who disagrees with that.

Also wanted to say I know pronouns don’t directly correlate with gender. “She/her” doesn’t only mean “woman”, etc etc.

With that out of the way, I wanted to talk about why I, a cis woman, prefer strangers to call me “he/him” and friends/family/etc. to call me “she/her”.

--- ---

Depending on who you are and how close we are, I either use she/her or he/him. If we know each other, and/or you’re queer as well, use she/her for me. If I don’t know you and you’re not queer in some way, I’d prefer if you use he/him. Seems arbitrary, and I guess on an objective level it is, but I wanted to share my thoughts on why I feel that way. Emphasis on feel: this is my personal experience and it has no bearing on anyone else’s.

As a kid, I had a moment when I looked away from my shows and books where the boys and men have emotions, go on journeys, and have character arcs, while the girls and women sit in the back without real emotion, only follow the men on journeys or don’t have journeys at all, and don’t grow as people, and realized “I’m also a person, like the boys are”. The flat, non-people who also happened to be women were who I’d been taught to associate with, but they weren’t like me, because I was a person. Now, I was working within the bounds of a very limited child’s understanding at the time. Obviously we’re all people, but only the men in those stories were allowed to be people. When women were people, I thought “she’s acting like a man”. Maybe the text even outright framed it that way. In reality, they were just given the traits of a person, which I’d been conditioned to associate with “man-ness”.

Later on, this subconscious association came back to bite me. For a time, I thought I was a demigirl or some variation thereof, because I didn’t fully identify with the definition of “woman” I’d been taught. I viscerally hate the idea of children/childbearing, I only very rarely wear makeup (and even then “it’s not the kind women wear”), I don’t dress in traditionally feminine ways, etc. And, well, I’m a person with her own thoughts and dreams and wants and fears. I simply don’t fit into that incredibly narrow, reductive, and specific cisheteronormative definition. I never have. So, at the time, I thought “I must not be a woman then.”

But using she/they and calling myself a demigirl didn’t feel right either. This was frustrating, because I wanted a name to call myself by. And “woman” was right for me… just not this society’s definition. After a lot of thinking I realized I had a different definition of woman, and so that settled that. I am a woman. Just not the kind we (90s/early 00s babies) were taught about.

I did want to say though: Defining “woman” is, I believe, impossible. As is defining “man”. Or any other gender. If you ask me, at the end of the day it’s an attempt to describe something that’s so subjective and variable and ethereal there’s almost no use trying. It’s just a “you know it when you see it” thing. Or I guess “you know it when you feel it”. I can’t truly define the cisheteronormative woman, and I can’t define my own version of woman, but I do know they’re not equivalent in the slightest.

So how does this relate to my two sets of pronouns? Well, when someone knows me, or when a stranger is also queer and thus I can trust already has a different understanding of these things, I can also trust they’re using she/her for me in a way that at least somewhat aligns with how I use it for myself. I use it to refer to my personal definition of “woman”.

But, when a non-queer stranger refers to me, “he/him” feels more appropriate. Because to my ears, a non-queer stranger’s “she/her” refers to a definition of woman that is simply not what I am. And when we must work within the incredibly limiting cishet binary, the cishet “he/him” is actually closer to my “she/her” than the cishet “she/her” is.

It’s like translating languages, if I must compare it to something. There is no true equivalent in “the cisheteronormative language” to my she/her. “He/him” is what comes closest.

For an example: I don’t put my pronouns out there when I’m playing video games, because I’m concerned about opening myself up to harassment; “she/her” in that environment often means “someone to pick on”. That’s less true nowadays than it used to be, thank fuck, but it’s still a concern of mine. By leaving myself undefined, the average cishet male gamer will assume and call me “he/him”, thus treating me as an equal. Because I am. We’re both people. “He/him” is the closest equivalent in his “language” to what my pronouns “actually” are.

…I don’t really know how to conclude this little essay. But I wanted to share, because I’ve never seen anyone talk about this sort of pronoun usage, and I figured it might help someone out there figure things out.

And once again: this is all my personal experience and view of things. You can disagree on every point, and that’s fine. That’s your truth. This is mine.

Gender is made up, pronouns are just words, do whatever you want forever.

[thelittlepalmtree]

Okay so I watched Days of Girlhood and I can kind of see why people are mad.

1) Dylan does not sing it well. The high pitched parts sound different. I would not have given her a song with that chorus.

2) Whoever styled Dylan could've done better. She looked incredibly pasty the whole time and every outfit she wore made her look super skinny her head look gigantic. The blonde wig did not help. If there had been more a-line dresses or just more of a flare to any of her outfits she would've looked a lot better.

The effect of these two things made the video seem very off. I also think the 50s aesthetic was trying to be barbie-esque but it came off more like edward scissorhands. The whole thing kind of assaulted my senses and honestly put me in an annoyed mood. And then when you actually listen to the lyrics, it's a lot easier to feel annoyed or take offense.

Are the lyrics bad or inappropriate? No, not really. But they aren't good. Most of the song is about drinking, shopping, or romantic contact but then the chorus says "these are the days of girlhood" which, I know is how Dylan describes her transition, but for like 99% of the population girlhood=childhood or even being an adolescent. It's a nostalgic time and I don't think the idea of girlhood being about the adult activities she describes was the best creative choice.

The other thing is she chose the wrong genre. If this had been more of a club song like songs put out by Paris Hilton and Ke$ha it would've made more sense. But it's rare these days to see this kind of bubblegum pop to be just about shopping, drinking, etc. Bubblegum pop in general isn't really in vogue. I feel like this song would've fit right in with Call Me Maybe, California Girls, or Shake it Off. And honestly, as a person who loved that time, I've also moved past it. It doesn't have an edge of authenticity. And those songs didn't really claim womanhood the way this one does. I think a lot of women have the experience of "types." A "California Girl" is a type. Those artists sold themselves as certain "types." I feel like Marina and the diamonds played into this aa lot with Bubblegum Bitch and How To Be A Heart Breaker. Songs made by women for women present men as a monolith and songs made by men for men present women as a monolith. This song was presumably one made by women for women but it presents women as a monolith.

And honestly, it's just not good. Like it isn't saying anything. There's not a single metaphor or anything. It really is just a list of activities and a chorus. And they're not even relatable. Retail therapy? In this economy? It is reductive and just boring.

Is the backlash fair? No, of course not. At the end of the day, it's just not a good song. It kind of gave me a headache watching the video. But that's not a crime. At the same time though, I feel like anyone would've gotten ripped apart for this song. Dylan is trans and it is a very dangerous environment for trans women. I know that definitely play a big part in this. The thing is, it absolutely shocks me that she didn't see this coming to some extent. Like...did she watch the video? Personally, I wouldn't have put that out if I were at the same risk she was. Especially because she has just gotten out of a huge transphobic controversy. Like the crazy people are watching you and waiting for you to fuck up and you put out a video that is sonically challenging, lyrically inane, and a complete visual assault and think "wow, no one's going to have any strong opinions on this at all."

Again being threatened, attacked, or experiencing transphobia is not okay. It's not. And I am sure Dylan and her team thought it was great when they put it out. I do think, that if you put your hand in a hornet's nest, you will probably get stung. Especially if you look like a haunted mannequin while doing it. And, to be honest, literally anyone would probably get the same amount of vitriol for that video. Do we not all remember lambasting Sabrina Carpenter and Joshua Basset for daring to respond to Driver's License? Do we not remember Rebecca Black? Do we not remember Tramp Stamps? This is the environment people are bringing new music into, this is the risk artists have to take on. And yes, Dylan is trans so she's getting transphobic responses, but all of those other artists were torn apart for their identities too. And everyone chastising the general public for being annoyed at bad music should have that same energy for all bad music.