#I mean except the end because I couldn't help myself

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[anothertimdrakestan]

Batboys Toxic Traits Headcanons

because no one is perfect, i wanted to get a little dirty with it and imagine what the boys are like when they're a little... too obsessed with you.

tw for romanticizing possessive, obsessive, jealous, aggressive actions haha xoxo

Jason Todd

- scary dog privileges wherever you go with jace, but he is ALL bite with one and only one warning bark.

- when a hand that isn't his brushes your thigh in a club, fingers get broken. when a cat caller thinks his compliment just has to be said to you, he most likely won't be able to speak again for weeks. And god forbid any villain try to use you as bait for jason, they've all learned if they value their life to never touch you. He's all for justice not vengeance until anyone tries to mess with you, then those words always get mixed up in his head.

- sometimes you cant even complain about people, they end up getting randomly harassed by a certain someone until they just move town

- jason is adamant as long as he's alive there won't be a problem of yours he can't solve with a little violence

- your biggest problem is that he struggles to let you have guy friends, obviously the ones he knows especially fellow heroes are more than fine, but he's been known to burst blood vessels when he sees you close and person with men he's never met

- he's proud of it too: "let another man try and touch y/n, it's been a slow night for me." or "i just don't get why you need him as a friend when you have me, myself, and i"

Tim Drake

- tim gets... obsessive.

- he tends to fall hard but with you he brought the house down with him

- before you were officially his he had hacked every security camera in the city to have eyes on you at any given moment

- both for your safety and his own maniacal flirting strategy: you admire shoes but frown at the price tag? tim's buying you the matching bag to go with the shoes he bought the second you looked at them.

- before you knew how insanely in love with you he was, you truly thought he was a mind reader

- well he kind of was, seeing as he scrolled through your search history every night to know which talking points to bring up with you

- once you finally fell for him and set some stronger boundaries he still occasionally found himself double checking your location when you weren't by his side, or lazily purchasing every item on your pinterest boards, he just can't help but dote on you

Damian Wayne

- damian doesn't really get close to people, but as always you were his exception

- however, this means his list of people to hang out with is extremely short, and he saw no problem in wanting to be around you wherever you went whenever he could

- like a kind of tall, dark, and brooding puppy, he quietly followed you everywhere, and when you strictly told him he couldn't follow along, you always noticed a perched shadow just a few building away

- eventually you got used to rolling over to damian coolly watching you sleep or patiently waiting to pick you up from your classes/job, happy just to walk you to your car

- just like jason, damian had a brutal and heartless style of problem-solving when it came to anyone giving you trouble

- too often you found yourself standing in between his rage a massive mistake whether it was nearly assaulting a friend of yours who tried to ask you out or threatening to buy out your entire workplace when you didn't get the promotion you wanted

- forever cooling his rage was worth having his adoration though, and you were happy to have your overbearing shadow follow you throughout your days

Dick Grayson

- for such a bubbly leader, dick often struggled with communication

- always used to bearing his problems alone youd spent too many nights tracking down your own boyfriend only to beg him to tell you what's wrong

- he never understood that you didn't always want to solve his problems, but hold his sadness or hurt with him

- it was the worst when he was upset with you, whether it was jealously or insecurity that crept into his mind

- he'd take off in a rush hoping you wouldn't notice but you always did, either hunting him down or simply waiting with open arms for him to come home

- it would take years to teach your traveling-circus-raised boyfriend that you weren't going anywhere, ever.

- but, this made for many heartfelt nights where he held you and promised you the world, as if you'd opened him up in a way no one else could, pulling forward the most magical and loving side of your sweet boy

[roboticchibitan]

I remember when same sex marriage was legized in my state (3 years before obergefel vs Hodges which legalized it nationwide). It won by a very narrow margin.

People who had taken care of me when I was young, people who were like second parents to me, (along with half the other people I knew) were saying it was the end times because I could now get married. And I couldn't help but wonder... would those people have protected me, cared for me, let me play with their children, if they had known I would grow up to be queer?

I came out in 2011. I was lucky. My parents were accepting. My mom was clearly uncomfortable at first but she made it clear she loved me no matter what.

Except.

My dad didn't care if I was queer and assured me that didn't mean there was anything wrong with me (in a speech I didn't need to hear but I think he needed to say). But he still said "that's gay" and "that's faggy" anytime my little brother showed vulnerability.

And I was a lucky one. My father used homophobic slurs around me regularly. He turned the word gay into a slur with his homophobic mouth. And I was a lucky one.

When I came out publicly, my grandmother stopped speaking to me for a while. I'm lucky that she changed her mind. I'm lucky that my grandparents let me bring my girlfriend with me when I went to visit them in October. October of 2022 and I still consider myself lucky that my grandparents let my queer partner into their house. My other grandma likewise visited with us, and was polite and friendly, but she still refused to call my gf anything other than "your friend." Still lucky. Incredibly lucky.

People don't understand just how bad things were as much as ten years ago. When I came out at school, I was lucky. No one bullied me. No one shoved me into lockers or called me slurs. They all just stopped talking to me. I became invisible. I went to a small school. I was the only person who was out. Exactly one person talked to me the rest of the year. And I was a lucky one.

When I was in middle and highschool, the go to insult was "that's gay." I heard it constantly. Every day. Sometimes people said it to me to insult me, long before I even knew I was queer.

I was lucky because the worst that happened to me was social isolation and people using slurs around me or turning my identity into a slur. No one called ME faggy. No one beat me up behind the school bleachers. I was incredibly lucky.

I have experienced the word "gay" used as a slur far more than I ever heard the word "queer" used as a slur. Young "queer is a slur and only a slur" people need to know the world you live in is not the world the rest of us live in. Why is "queer" a slur but "gay" isn't? My homophobic father thought the word "gay" conveyed just as much offense and disgust as the word "faggot." So why is queer the horrible word that can never be reclaimed but people say "that's gay" as a compliment now? The loneliest I have ever felt was in a room full of teenagers who thought my identity was the height of insults. So why is gay fine but queer isn't?

I am a fat butch queer and I do not hide that. My shoes have a pride flag on them. I have a masculine haircut and wear men's clothes. I look queer.

And I am afraid. I dress like this anyway, because I want other queer folks to know I am a safe person. I dress how I do partially because I like it but also partially so any queer person in the room, no matter now closeted, can see me and feel a little bit safer. Because I will protect other queer people with my life if need be.

Because I am openly and visibly queer and live in a world where being queer can get you killed. Because it can. Gay bashings still happen. The alt right are getting bolder in their violence, and that includes homophobic/transphobic violence. There are organizations in the US that are actively pushing to make homosexuality punishable by death in Africa. They know they could never accomplish that here. But they would if they could. People want us dead.

Young people need to understand that. And they need to understand that the people who did the most work to free us from criminalization were queer. They identified as queer. And they weren't the perfect law abiding queers toeing the line of what's acceptible. Because being queer itself was illegal. You could end up on the sex offender registry for being gay. In fact, there are queer people who are STILL registered as sex offenders just because they were queer in 2001. Pride wasn't a permitted parade with wells Fargo floats. It was angry queers illegally marching down the streets, screaming "We're here. We're queer. Get used to it."

Being openly queer is a radical act. It is still a radical act.

I did not live through Windsor vs the united states, the referendum 74 debate, my father punishing my brother for being human with homophobic slurs, and the pearl clutching fearmongering about "the gay agenda" (that was a go to phrase for 2012 homophobes) for some LGBT kid to come at me with TERF bullshit they got off tiktok about how my identity is a slur and I'm a horrible person for using it.

I was a lucky one and I'm still saying "no, absolutely not" to this bullshit.

Queer is more inclusive. Queer accounts for any possible fluidity because people change. Identities change. Queer is there for people who know they're Something Different but are not sure of the details yet. Queer is intentionally vague. When you're young you want everyone to know exactly who you are but as you get older you realize actually my identity is none of your business. In fact, sometimes when you tell someone your identity, you're handing them a bludgeon for them to hurt you with.

If you have trans classmates, you do not understand the world the rest of us grew up in. Trans people were not a public topic. They were not even acknowledged as existing by most people. I didn't know what being trans was until I was like 17. I'm nonbinary now and consider myself trans 10 years later.

And I didn't even have it that bad. But you know what? It still sucked and it was still hard and I can't imagine what it was like to grow up a decade before I did. I had it easy compared to most people.

If you can jokingly say "that's gay" when someone expresses queer love, then you can fucking handle people using the word queer as their identity.

The infighting and policing each other has to stop. You're oppressing queer people with this bullshit. It does not matter what words queer people use to describe themselves when there are people actively killing us. What are you doing? For fucks sake look at the bigger picture. Direct all that rage at our oppressors and the people who mean us harm. Queer people and he/him lesbians and bi lesbians and people who use neo pronouns and whoever else is the discourse of the day do not deserve this kind of treatment. Punch a homophobe and maybe you'll feel better.

[zaynescitizen]

How do you think what could be the kinks of LnDS boys? 😏😏😏

I had fun writing that but oh my god I was STRUGGLING with Xavier, and I had to hold myself back with Sylus because in my eyes he is an absolute whore🎀. For Rafayel and Xavier I think it ended up being quite poorly written but I genuinely couldn't think of anything more than that, so I do apologise.

-Issa

(English is not my first language so there is a high chance of grammar mistakes. If you come across any please point them out and any and all constructive criticism is welcomed)

content warning: NSFW, different kinks and slight descriptions of them (I never know how to write the CW </3 let me know if I should add any specific ones)

Word count: 671

Characters: Zayne, Sylus, Rafayel, Xavier

Lads and kinks:

In general:

-Starting off I don't feel like any of them have those extreme kinks except maybe Stylus but that is speculating purely off of his card (no defense zone, unfortunately, that is one of two cards 5 star I have of him). I don't think I can genuinely place them from most to least kinky since all of them are on about the same level of it, some a bit more some bit less but overall on the same frequency

Zayne:

-Breast worship, and I will die on this hill. He loves your chest. Coming home after a long day of surgeries he wants nothing more than to play with your breasts or sleep on them. The amount of hickeys he leaves there is abnormal.

-Praise, he loves both giving and receiving paise. Burying his face in your neck while ramming into you, telling you how well you're taking him and how good it feels

-I don't know if this would count as a kink but seeing you ride him makes him near feral, his hands resting on your hips with a tight grip, helping you move over his length.

-Spanking, he loves spanking you as a form of punishment, though he doesn't go overboard and makes sure you are fine with it and are doing alright.

Sylus:

-Accidental stimulation, except it's not accidental and he loves riding you up during auctions he finds boring or when it's least necessary. Seeing you squirm and try to calm down brings him joy and entertainment.

-Sensory deprivation, he loves tying you up and blindfolding you, giving him great ego boost since he takes it as a sign of trust, and the way you react to every touch and kiss makes him lose his mind

-Breathplay, same as the previous, he takes it as a sign of trust and the visual gets him off. Squeezing your throat just enough to make it hard to breathe, but not doing any actual damage

-Begging, another ego boost. The fact that he makes you feel so good that you are begging for him is a dream come true

-Spanking, if you were being bratty he will gladly put you in your place, whether with the palm of his hand or a riding crop

Rafayel:

-This man is a brat and you can't deny it no matter how hard you try.

-Begging, he begs you so sweetly while moving in and out of you, burying his face in the crook of your neck, pressing kisses and giving lovebites while trying not to lose it completely

-Bondage, either tying you up or being tied up himself. He loves it.

-Lingerie, he loves seeing you in such pretty yet revealing sad excuses of clothes. He doesn't know whether to take you right then and there or to draw you.

-Temperature play, his evol is fire, he will use that to his advantage and warm you up in all the right place, though for cooling down he will have to use ice cubes

Xavier:

-I think Xavier is the least kinky of them all. After being alive for so long I think he does enjoy more casual vanilla settings, but that doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy something more from time to time

-I genuinely can't think of a single kink for this man, which is disappointing. He has them, but I can't pinpoint which ones.

-One I can definitely see him in is restriction/bondage, holding your arms pinned up against the bed or behind your back while rutting into you like a dog in heat

-Again, not sure if this counts as a kink but he loves giving you oral. He could do it all day, every day, anywhere, everywhere, on every surface, in every position… you get the point. He loves it.

-Cockwarming, sometimes he just wants be be close to you, inside you, but is simply too tired. Especially after a hard mission. Lying in bed with him, filled up and on the verge of falling asleep in his arms

[ninii-winchester]

But daddy, I love him

Pairing : Dean Winchester X Demon!Reader

Word count : 3.6k

Warnings : angst (if you squint), foul language.

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

Dean was bored. No, he was beyond bored. There were no cases and Sam was, well, being Sam. He had his nose buried in some book and he refused to acknowledge Dean's situation. He kept throwing paper balls at Sam just to annoy him and he finally succeeded when Sam slammed his book shut and glared at his brother.

"What the hell is your problem.?" He snapped.

"Ah so nice of you to notice." Dean started sarcastically, "in case it wasn't obvious. I'm bored."

"If you're bored read some lore books." Sam suggested with a shrug.

"I want to kill my boredom not die myself." Dean rolled his eyes. Sam made a bitch face before answering,

"Go out to a bar or something." He got up from his chair and left the library. Dean perked up,

"Good idea Sammy. I'm heading out." He announced leaving the bunker.

He arrived at the nearest bar, settling on one of the barstools he ordered himself a drink. His eyes search the space, trying to find something or someone interesting, his eyes dropped a figure a few seats to his left. She looked familiar. He looked at her for a few seconds before it clicked, he'd hooked up with her years back.

Now normally he wouldn't be able to recognise anyone he hooked up with several years back, but he remembered her because she looked exactly the same. It had been years and she didn't change even a bit. And the fact that he thought about her quite often. More than he'd like to admit.

He couldn't help but think if she remembered him. He wouldn't know if he didn't ask. Besides he didn't have anything better to do so he approached her.

"Hey." Dean said sitting down beside her.

"Hi." She smiled looking at him. It was hard to decipher if she remembered him or was just being friendly. "I know you." She added making his release a breath.

"So you do remember." He smirked at her.

"Do you really think you're forgettable, Dean?" She questioned with a sly smile on her face. He laughed at her comment, shaking his head.

"I must say, you haven't aged a day since I've last seen you." Dean spoke gulping down his drink. "And it's been like what? Nine years?"

The two had met when Sam had left for Stanford and John had gone God knows where, and Dean was free to do whatever. He was hunting a werewolf. After he killed the creature, he found a bar and ended up her in bed. They spent three weeks together before John called Dean back.

"Nine years." She nodded. "But you haven't aged yourself." She replied glacing at him.

"No really, you're just exactly how I remember you." He said looking at her in amazement.

"Yeah? Above you or beneath you?" She whispered leaning closer to him. He wasn't expecting her to be this straight with him so it caught him a bit off guard.

Dean quickly collected himself and answered with a smirk. "Both."

"Good to know I'm not the only one who still thinks about it." She added and he nodded.

The two had spent weeks together but it wasn't just hooking up. Dean took her out on dates and she cooked for him sometimes. They cuddled, played games, talked about anything and everything, music, movies, dreams. Everything except their personal lives. And they had sex. It was as if they were together but without any labels, and when Dean left there were no hard feelings.

"So what brings you to Kansas?" Dean questioned, looking at her with curiosity.

"Ah you know me, i go where the wind takes me." She replied with a shrug.

"So you mean you're still wandering around?"

She nodded her head before speaking.

"And you're not?" She laughed.

"Nah I've got a place now. With my brother." Dean replied vaguely, not wanting to drag her into the mess called 'hunting life'.

"Cool." She bit her lip, she completely turned her body towards him. "Do you wanna get out of here? My motel is right infront of this place." She added seductively, her hand placed on his chest.

"With pleasure, sweetheart." Dean said helping her stand, he threw a few bills on the counter which were more than enough to cover both their drinks, he pulled her out of the bar.

The moment she entered the room her back was slammed against the door and his lips were attacking hers. She moaned in his mouth, his hands touching everywhere he could. He picked her up and dropped her on the bed. Clothes were ripped and thrown haphazardly. Their kiss was hungry and needy. For the next few hours the only sound that could be heard was of the slapping of his skin against hers, her moans and his groans and the filthy words he spoke that she loved so much.

"Fuck, I thought you were good back then but now you're just..." she trailed off panting, laying on top of him.

"You're one to say." Dean replied, his own breathing ragged. He dragged his fingers on her bare bare soothingly. "Missed this." He spoke after a minutes of silence. "Missed you."

"I did too." She said leaning up to peck his lips. "This is cozy." She added snuggling up to him. He wrapped his arms around her firmly. She laid her head on his chest when she noticed his tattoo. "Hey. I like your tattoo, what does it mean?" She said tracing it with her finger. He froze for a second.

"I don't know actually, I uh.. I saw it at the tattoo shop, and I just liked it." He lied through his teeth. She nodded laying her head back down.

The next morning, Dean woke up by the sound of his phone ringing. He groaned before answering his phone. It was Sam, asking where he was and that he needs to be back. Y/n felt Dean move beneath her and woke up.

"I have to go." He said sitting up, she pouted clutching the sheets to her chest as she watched him put his clothes back on.

"So soon?" Dean chuckled lightly before kissing her.

"We could do this again, for as long as you're here in Kansas." Dean said tying his shoes, sitting on the edge of the bed. She moved closer so she could hug him from behind.

"De." She said resting her head on his shoulder. He turned his head to look at her. She was quiet for a moment, she seemed lost in thought.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

"I meant it when I said I missed you." She mumbled against his shoulder. He tilted his head to look at her better. He gave her a confused look not getting where she was going with this. She unwrapped her arms from his torso and shifted to his side, and straddled his waist. He leaned back a bit so she could sit comfortably. He gripped her hips, holding her gaze. "Dean, those three weeks were the best days of my life. I never thought I'd ever meet you again. In my entire life no one has ever made me feel the way you do, can we.. could we try-" Her heart dropped the moment his grip loosened and he avoided eye contact. She whispered a quiet "oh" and quickly got off his lap.

"Y/n-"

"I get it, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." She was embarrassed, she really thought he felt the same.

"You didn't. It's just... it's complicated." Dean said standing up from where he sat on the bed.

"Yeah, no.. I get it." She nodded not meeting his gaze. Before either of them could say anything else, Dean's phone rang again. He sighed before answering.

"Yes Sam, I'm on my way. Yeah." He spoke into the phone before hanging up. He gave her one last glance before walking out of the door.

It had been three days since Dean walked out of her motel room and she felt pretty shitty. She basically asked him out and he outright rejected her. She sat at the small table, nursing a glass of scotch when she heard a knock on the door. She opened the door expecting anyone but Dean, yet here he was.

"Not gonna invite me in, sweetheart?" He asked leaning against the doorframe.

"Find someone else to wet your dick." She rolled her eyes, closing the door but stopped it with his foot.

"C'mon don't be like that. I just want to talk." He said softly, prompting her to open the door wider. She walked back and he entered inside. "Look, I know I was a dick last time you saw me, but like I said it's complicated." She didn't speak or even acknowledge his words. "I would love nothing more than to be with you but it'd be hard." She raised her brow at him and he rubbed his face. "I'm gone, alot. I wouldn't be here everytime you need me. And you, you never stay at one place for a long time. I'm willingly to do this if you're okay with it."

"You really think I wouldn't stay, if you'd ask?" She said walking towards him. "Dean, the last time I felt something, felt alive was nine years ago. I was callous before and after you." She said honestly and her words couldn't have been anymore true. She was a demon. She hadn't felt, feelings for as long as she can remember. But with Dean, she felt everything there is.

"Let's do this." Dean leaned down kissing her softly. For the past three days all he did was think. He still wasn't sure what prompted him to give in to her, but it's time he started living for himself a bit.

Months passed, Y/n had gotten herself an apartment in Kansas, her and Dean had been going strong. They went out for drives, Dean stayed over sometimes, and had phenomenal sex whenver they could. Y/n had yet to visit his "place" since his brother doesn't know about them and she was fine with it. Part of her was relieved Dean couldn't stay longer. She didn't have to keep her "human charade" up.

Unbeknownst to them, both of them were hiding a significant secret from each other. But that was until,

"Princess, you can't go in there, his majesty is in an important meeting-" A measely demon tried to stop her from entering the chamber Crowley has his 'throne' in.

"Shut up before I disintegrate you into nothing." She sneered, her eyes turned completely black. She knew she wouldn't do but that demon didn't know that nor did he need to know. She pushed open the door, her father sitting on his so called throne while two men stood in front of him, their backs to her. She was too angry to recognise the silhouette of the body in front of her. "How many times do I have to tell you not-"

"Darlin' I'm a bit occupied at the moment." The man with the Scottish accent interrupted her. The two men turned around and her eyes widened.

"Dean, What're you doing here?" She questioned. His face seemed like he'd seen a ghost. He was shocked and confused. The other man, she assumed his brother, Sam raised his brows in confusion as well.

"Squirrel, you know my daughter?" Crowley questioned standing up.

"Your daughter?" Dean's jaw clenched as he looked back and forth between the shorter man and his daughter. She was flabbergasted and didn't know if she could get out of this situation. When she saw some demons following her, she confronted them, they revealed her father had sent them to keep an eye on her. The only reason she was here was to tell him to back off.

"You're on nickname basis with the King of Hell?" She joked looking at Dean. He glared at her and her grin dropped.

"What exactly is happening here?" Sam questioned feeling completely out of loop.

"That is exactly what I would like to know!" Crowley demanded looking at Dean and Y/n.

"What is happening is here, I just found out I've been sleeping with the Princess of Hell." Dean gritted his teeth. "You put her up to this, didn't you?" He glared at Crowley.

"She's my daughter, not some hooker. And why would I even do that? We're besties, aren't we?" He said as if they had been childhod buddies. "Wait a minute, you're sleeping with Dean Winchester?" Crowley looked at his daughter, disappointed. "He's a goddamn hunter."

"You say as if it's a bad thing." She mumbled "I didn't know he's a hunter." She shrugged. "I didn't even know his last name until now."

"You've seen him naked, you didn't see his anti possession tattoo?" Sam asked, clearing getting a kick out this situation. Dean glared at his brother.

"Well I asked him about it he said he didn't know what it was, the last time I choked a guy half to death because of that tattoo and turned out it was some nerd book thing, Supernatural or whatever." She countered throwing her hands in the air. Sam shook his head at the mention of the Supernatural books.

"How could you hide this from me?" Dean questioned the look of betrayal all over his face.

"Yeah sure, I could've just walked up to you and said, hey Dean I'm a demon." She rolled her eyes. "You didn't tell me you were a hunter either. Had I told you the truth you would've killed me."

"This is different." Dean replied.

"Alright Romeo Juliet. Whatever it is, this is done here. Y/n, I forbid you to see him." Crowley intervened.

"But Daddy I love him." She replied and the three men present in the room froze.

"I need a drink." Crowley said.

Dean looked at her wide eyed, still processing her words. A demon is in love with him, before knowing her real identity, Dean himself felt something for her but right now he wasn't so sure. Y/n bit her lip, looking at the green eyed hunter.

"We should talk." She said walking over to him. "Privately." She added loudly looking at her father. Crowley rolled his eyes before snapping his fingers, him and Sam disappearing from the room. Dean looked surprised Crowley didn't throw a fit when told to do something. "He loves me." She said as if she had read his mind.

Dean was silent for a moment and the everything came crashing into him at full speed, his supposed girlfriend is a demon, not just some demon but she's the daughter of the King of Hell. He's been sleeping with the Princess of Hell and apparently she's in love with him.

"What the fuck!" Dean exclaimed, extremely pissed.

"Dean, let me explain. I promise I won't lie about anything."

"You're a demon, demons lie all the time, you've been lying to me this whole time." He snapped at her.

"I didn't lie about anything, I just hid one fact. Besides you're the one who approached me at the bar, both times." She felt herself getting defensive. "I'm not like other demons you've met. I'm not evil. Hell I didn't even ask for this." She felt herself tear up.

"I don't even know who you are!" Dean exclaimed. "Who's body are you even wearing."

"It's mine." She replied.

"That's not possible, if you're Crowley's daughter you're atleast over two hundred years old how'd your body even..." he trailed off. "What do you mean you didn't even ask for this?"

"I'm the reason he's what he is." She started. "If you know him closely you'd know his relationship with his mother." Dean nodded urging her to continue, "so when I was born he swore he'd be the parent he never got. He gave me everything he could, loved me too much." Her voice cracked, "When I was fifteen, I was diagnosed with a terminal disease, and we're talking centuries back, I was gonna die. So my father, Fergus made a deal. My life for his soul. Ten year later they took him. He became a demon, kept an eye one me. He was happy that I was alive, When I was twenty seven I got into a fatal accident, I died. And he couldn't bear that so he transformed me with magic or shit I don’t know. He made me a demon. That way I would be with him forever."

Dean hadn't taken Crowley to be a man capable of love, he always thought of him as an evil son of a bitch who was the King of Hell and was there to cause trouble for him and his brother.

"He became the King of Hell because of me, just to give me everything I could ever need, he didn't realise by doing he kept me alive, but over the it made unhappy and lonely. I could never find love, I could never feel a thing. But nine years ago I met you, and I felt something, I don't how or why but I did, then you left." She whispered staring at him. "And then we met again, I thought I could finally get what I wanted, but I was naive to think it would work. I'm sorry Dean I never meant to hurt you, I just thought you're just a guy that I'll outlive and you'd never find the truth."

"This is a lot to take in." Dean said shaking his head. "I'm sorry about what happened to you." She nodded her head not knowing what else to say. "Is it true? What you said?" He asked cautiously.

"About loving you? Yes. I mean I don't know what love feels like, it's been a long time, but you do make me feel like I did when I was human. So yeah I do love you Dean. And I know you might not want anything to do with me after all this. But I'd do anything for you." She replied honestly. She'd been lonely for the past centuries, she's willing to do anything to feel something again.

"I did...uh" he cleared his throat before speaking, "I did feel something for you before this whole ficasso and I'd be lying if I said you being a demon changed it." Dean took a step towards her, "you said you're willing to do anything for this to work?" She nodded her head in affirmation, her eyes filled with hope. "We know how to cure a demon, make them human again."

"You do?" She asked looking surprised.

"Yeah, your father didn't tell you? We almost turned him human!" He chuckled.

"I told you I don't keep up with his evil shenanigans. If I did I'd have known all about you." Dean nodded in understanding.

"So do you-"

"Yes." She didn't even let him finish. "I'd do it."

"It might hurt." Dean warned "and what about your father?"

"Dean, I'm tired of being lonely for centuries. Yes I love my father but he has to let go someday. I can't live like this anymore."

To say Crowley threw a fit when he heard Y/n's decison was an understatement. He was beyond pissed. He went off on Dean, cursing at him, telling him he's always causing problems for him. It took Y/n a while to convince him but he came around when he realised this is where her true happines laid. Even if he was the King of Hell and Dean was his frenemy, he was still Y/n’s father and did gave Dean the 'you hurt her I'll kill you' talk.

The Winchester brothers took her to the Bunker and Sam prepared to cure her. They cuffed her to the chair in the dungeon inside the devil's trap. Sam had gone to bring the human blood, Dean kneeled infront of her. He cupped her face in his hands.

"It's gonna be okay. I'm right here."

"I trust you, Dean." She smiled at him. He placed kissed on her forehead when Sam came back.

Hours later, Y/n was screaming and groaning as they continued to inject her with human blood. Dean felt bad, wanting it to be over soon. When Sam was done, Y/n was sweaty and her head lolled to the side as she threaded on the edge of consciousness.

"Hey, sweetheart." Dean patted her cheek lightly. She slowly opened her eyes, her black eyes now y/e/c, full of life. She gave him a tired smile.

"Hiya, Dean."

Dean moved aside allowing Sam to pour holy water on her and she flinched at the sudden splash.

"Sorry, Y/n. It's Procedure." Sam apologised. She nodded lightly, she would've waved him off but her hands were tied. Her flesh didn't sizzle and the two brothers nodded at each other. She blinked a couple of time to adjust her eyes. Dean uncuffed her hands and helped her stand.

"Hi baby." Dean said holding her waist. She didn't waste anytime, pulling him for a kiss which he gladly returned.

"I didn't need to see that." Sam said loudly making them pull apart. "Congratulations Y/n, you're human now."

"Thank you for helping me, Sam." She told the taller man and he smiled at her.

"Thanking just him?" Dean complained.

"Well I thought I'd thank you some other way but if you just need the words...." Dean didn't let her finish before picking her up and making his way towards his bedroom.

Tags:

@deans-baby-momma @bansheesandbutterflies

[milksuu]

…the poly sett/reader/aphelios… ur insane for that one… i need a follow up🤭

-🎧

❥ prompt: Sharing is caring. And so is getting along. When it comes to you, Sett and Aphelios are working on it. ❥ content/warnings: mild suggestive themes, fluff, teasing, cuddling, possessive boyfriend behavior ❥ characters/pairings: poly!heartsteel!settphel x f!reader

"This one is so cute, Sett. Your mama really knows which ones to get you," you smiled, rubbing your face against a PoroKing plushie.

"Oh, yeah. When it comes to Ma', I got lucky and ended up with the best," Sett said with a grin, "but, let's be honest here. You're the cutest thing on my bed right now."

Aphelios narrowed his eyes against his computer screen. Clicking and typing away. He was working on a sample Yone had sent him to dabble with for their next song. He would need to ensemble some lyrics to go along with it at some point. Except...he slapped his hands against his desk, turning a sharp chin towards you and Sett.

"Uh-oh," you said, wrapping your arms around Sett's neck. "I don't think Phelly likes us being all lovey-dovey without him."

"Looks like it," Sett agreed with a snaggle tooth smile. "I mean, he's free to come on over when he's done being glued to his computer. He's been ignoring us for hours. What did he expect?"

Aphelios popped the cap off a marker, took up his notepad, and scribbled:

I'm actually working. Unlike someone I know. I wOndEr wHo?

You gasped, covering your mouth. "Phelly's extra sassy today."

"Extra? Nah, he can be worse than this. Believe it or not, he's in one of his better moods today." Sett chuckled, lowering his head and planting a kiss to your collarbone. "Probably because you're here. But it's got me thinkin'. Wonder how his mood will change when I take you all for myself. Right in front of him."

You shuddered at the tingling feeling. "Don't you think you're being a little mean?"

"The boss can't be nice all the time. Sometimes, he's gotta play the big bad wolf," he grumbled a purr, carefully nipping at your chest with his canines. You couldn't help the fluttering of your eyelids and hitched moans.

Aphelios almost snapped the marker in half. He jumped out of his desk chair. And launched a calculated attack while Sett had his arms filled with you.

"Woah! Buddy. What're you doing—?" Aphelios snatched Sett's chin, and planted the black marker against his nose and cheeks. With quick strokes, he painted the look of an actual dog on his face. Whiskers, snout and all. "Wait, isn't this permanent marker!?" Sett released you from his hold, jumping out of the bed and making a beeline for the bathroom.

Aphelios released a 'hmph' with a satisfied glean in his eyes. He sat down next to you, laced his arms around you, and plopped you both against the bed.

"Maybe Phelly's the real villain," you commented, snuggling his bed of hair. "But you two need to play nice. Okay? That was a mean thing to do to Setty. You should both apologize."

There was a twitch in his brow. He was the mean one!? He needed to apologize!? He brought you closer, placing his face between your neck and shoulder. He shook his head back and forth.

"Yes. Phelly. It's the nice thing to do," you said softly. "I know you two won't always get along. But I know you both love each other very much. And I love you both very much, too. And we can show that when we apologize after we hurt one another. Right?"

Aphelios buried himself deeper into the crook of your neck. Muffling his whines and groans into the heat of your skin. He didn't like admitting fault. He'd rather throw a written apology into the nearest burning trash can than give it to the actual person. It wasn't his fault he tended to hold onto grudges. It was always the other person's fault for not taking his personality into consideration. If they cared enough, they would know that about him. And in that case, they were making the conscious decision to be put on his shit list. He was the reasonable one. As far as he could tell.

"Please, Phelly," you asked sweetly, planting a kiss to the top of his head.

He exhaled one last breath of resistance. Somehow, you always had an unfair advantage over him. Slowly, he left the warmth of your body. That was a painful in itself. He almost cowered back into your arms. Needing a bit more strength, he slipped his mask down, and took your lips. Applying just enough pressure to make you both moan. Alright. That's all he needed. He could do this. He took up his notebook and marker.

Just as Aphelios was about to leave the room, Sett appeared from the door. His cheeks bruised red from all the scrubbing he had to do. Aphelios shifted his gaze away. A silent grip ensnared the two. Sett rubbed the guilty knot at the back of his neck. After a moment of silence, he grumbled under his breath. "Listen, Phel—"

Aphelios flipped his notebook around:

Sorry.

Sett stumbled against his words. He hadn't expected Aphelios to be the one to apologize first. Or honestly, apologize in the first place. Technically, it was Sett's own fault for egging him on the way he did. Sett's trouble was evident in the frown lines against his face.

"Yeah. I'm sorry too, Phel." Sett sighed, ears drooped. "I shouldn't have teased ya'h like that. But I couldn't help it. I just wanted you to take a break and cuddle with us. That's all. Hope you can forgive me."

Aphelios paused. The marker squeaked against the paper. He tossed his chin away, cheeks stained pink. He flipped the notepad:

I'll forgive you. On one condition. I'm middle.

Sett's ears perked-up. Grinning like a panting pup, he swooped Aphelio's into his love-crushing arms. You laughed when Sett dove onto the bed, causing you to bounce from the weight. Unraveling Aphelios like a long awaited package, you and Sett planted kisses against his flushed cheeks. The both of you then secured your legs across him, took up his upper-body, and rubbed against his figure in every way possible. Aphelios whined and groaned. He wanted to be cuddled—not suffocated. Of course, with his luck, things had to turn out this way.

an: poly!settphel x reader is my new crack. give me all the fics pls. also, maybe the next part will be nsfw. hmmmm! thank you for the follow req. anon!

[aschriles]

Secret identity shenanigans AU where Danny is an intern at LexCorp and has no idea the guy he's been flirting with these past few weeks actually wasn't a fellow intern, but was the son of his boss' boss, and is also Superboy.

(Yeah, that Superboy. From the Titans. The one who kept flirting with him while they were on the field, and sent him a DM on his Phantom account insisting they met during Danny's internship. In his defense, Kon wore flannel. And glasses.)

Danny might not have the best relationship with rich people (see: Vlad), but he had to suck it up if he was going to intern at LexCorp. Anyway, it wasn't like he'd have to personally deliver Luthor his coffee every morning.

Except that's exactly what happens. Somehow, by some sheer cosmic force of the universe, he ends up interning directly under Hope, aka one of Lex Luthor's personal assistant. Which means he's like, Lex Luthor's personal assistant's personal assistant... or something. In theory, it was perfect. In reality, it was stupid.

It was stupid, because Hope sends him out for Luthor's special coffee (an iced Americano from that one coffee shop all the way on the other side of Metropolis) and pastries (a whole-ass apple pie) at nine in the morning every single day when everyone and their mom knew the traffic was literal hell, then expected him to be back at the office five minutes later. Among other things, of course. For the thousandth time since he got stuck in this hell-hole, he made a mental note to burn all of Luthor's robots to the ground the next time Superman called for the JLD to help out with Luthor's stupid invasions. Stupid Luthor. Stupid coffee. Stupid apple pie.

Danny grumbled under his breath as he speed-walked inside the lobby. "Why can't Luthor just take his coffee and shove it—"

"Up his ass? Yeah, that's what I ask myself aaallll the time."

Danny whipped his head around so fast, he almost tripped on his feet. Sitting on one of the comfy couches was a guy around his age. He looked like a weird cross between a country boy (flannel and glasses) and a punk (messy dark hair, piercings, and was that a tattoo?) but like, in a hot way. He also looked—he looked kinda familiar, in an 'I know I saw you from somewhere' kind of way, but Danny couldn't remember where he actually saw him from. He shook his head, figuring he could deal with it later. "You an intern, too?"

Made sense he wasn't the only intern around, but a part of Danny couldn't help but pity the poor guy if he got stuck interning as Mercy's personal assistant. Mercy was scarier than Zatanna and Nightmare Nurse combined.

Flannel shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, I do some odd jobs here and there, so..." His face lit up, like an idea had suddenly occurred to him. "Hey, I could come with you, if you want. As like, moral support or something. You're heading to Hope's office, right?"

Danny paused. Technically, it's not like there was any harm with letting another intern tag along. Plus, he could use some help with the apple pie. "Sure, man. I'm Danny," he added, since it was the polite thing to do, even if he couldn't go for a handshake because Luthor's stupid coffee and apple pie required both hands.

Flannel grinned, all teeth, and maybe he really was famous, like a model? Or someone from TV? Danny was pretty sure he'd seen that smile before. Maybe Flannel was a random civilian he'd rescued? "Nice to meet you, Danny. The name's Conner Kent, but you can call me Kon."

[yuri-is-online]

Soap Operatic Symphony (A Fyuuture Kid AU ft. Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasomnia)

While camping in the mountains during Camp Vargas, you encounter a monster exactly like the one you fought off with Ace and Deuce at the beginning of the year. While trying to fight it off again, a strange portal opens up in the mine and a person jumps out of it to your rescue. He says he doesn't remember much, but it's clear when you bring him to Crowley that this boy is also from your world, despite being a mage, and until the headmage can think of a better solution, he assigns "Yutu" to your dorm.

Something a certain someone has an opinion about.

notes: yeah I have nothing to say for myself, I have other stuff I am supposed to be writing but this wrote itself ok? ok. Anyway this is a future kid au where your son has come back in time to try and prevent the end of the world but mostly to make sure you don't die. You can see this ask for a detailed explanation of what's up with Yuu and my masterlist for other fic. Oh and the other dorms can be found here.

Scarabia

In general, Jamil is going to be torn between being deeply suspicious of the entire situation and feeling like it's none of his business while Kalim is excited to meet a potential new friend.  How they act on those feelings changes depending on who Yutu is trying to interact with.

Kalim- anyone trying to get close to Kalim has to be watched obsessively by Jamil, and Yutu is no exception.  If anything the surveillance is worse due to the strange way he showed up, and Kalim doesn't like it but he understands.  For Yutu's part he seems really receptive to Kalim's efforts to befriend him, which is the furthest Kalim is going to think about it for a while, but he also notices the strange nostalgia and grief Yutu seems to feel when interacting with you and he really wants to help.  He's sure if Yutu would just talk about it, he could give him some good advice.  They get along really well!  But Yutu seems really reluctant to give out personal information… which Jamil really doesn't like. Kalim's sure he doesn't mean anything by it because of how apologetic he is! But he does sort of wonder if he's done something to make Yutu not feel safe around him... it makes him sort of sad.

Jamil- Once he got a look at that portal, Jamil realized that he didn't actually know what it looked like when you arrived at NRC.  He certainly remembers the mess Grim made, but not much about you beyond how confused you looked.  He'll have to ask about it sometime but for now, he's got questions.  Number one: who the fuck is this guy really?  His name isn't Yutu, he sure as shit isn't from your world, otherwise he couldn't be a mage, and his attitude towards you is just suspicious.  He has got to want something, and Jamil is torn between protectiveness of you and his adamant refusal to give himself anymore work.  It doesn't help that Yutu seems very apologetic to him specifically, he swears the kid seems to be apologizing for his entire existence.  It's weird, and he tells him to knock it off because it's not like he's his dad.  For some reason that just makes it worse.

Pomefiore

Vil- Epel is the one to tell him about the monster attack, the portal, and the strange protectiveness Yutu has towards Yuu.  That last thing doesn't bother him as much as you might expect, as soon as he learns that you're from the same world he thinks it's perfectly natural.  Admirable even.  The fake name and desire for privacy doesn't bother him either, as an actor both things seem normal to him.  What worries him is the idea that something very wrong is happening in the background that he doesn't know about, which he makes very clear to Yutu after sending Rook to distract you.  Yutu seems hesitant to trust him, and only offers vague warnings about making sure Yuu stays safe and keeping an eye on Grim.  Well now, they can both agree on that, and wouldn't it be easier if Yutu cooperated with him?  He's not going to take no for an answer.

Rook- Oh?  Ramshackle Dorm has a new member?  What a charming surprise!  He's sure this will lead to many new beautiful experiences.  And he's right!  Yutu is very beautiful, but there's something oddly familiar and yet… wrong about him.  Like he doesn't quite belong here, and not in the same way that you don't belong here.  He looks haunted, his interactions with you scream that he possesses (or to be more accurate used to possess) a relationship that can only have been built over several years.  But you clearly don't remember him, and there's a painful aura of grief in his interactions with you.  He also notices, with a great deal of joy, that the same grief is present when the little one speaks to him.  Just what could that mean? The hunter is in no rush, he'll find out what that means in time, for now he'll keep dropping in unannounced to test Yutu's reflexes. 

Side note: I don't speak French so I don't know if this would be the correct way to say it, but I like the idea of Rook's nickname for Yutu being Monsieur Caneton (Monsieur Duckling), because of how he follows Yuu around. Floyd's nickname I reserve the right to change depending on who Yutu's father is.

Epel- He starts off a hater, I am not going to lie.  Protecting you is something Epel takes a great deal of pride in; he wants to be seen as manly, as the protector, as someone who you think of as cool and trusts to provide for you.  So for a giant portal to open in the sky and drop a new guy determined to protect you from the monsters?  He hates it, he really does, and that's BEFORE Yutu starts living in Ramshackle Dorm.  He's determined to ignore him and not let him into the friend group, which proves impossible because of how Yutu follows you around so fine.  He can sit with you but ONLY IF he accepts that Epel was there first.  Something he's really surprised to see him do?  He should be more suspicious of why Yutu is constantly asking him for advice or acting like he's cool for being so possessive over you but well.  It's Epel he really wants to be seen as cool so he's just not going to think about it.

Ignihyde

Ortho- Ortho wasn't there to see the portal so he can't analyze it, but he can analyze Yutu!  And he immediately finds the Shroud family curse.  How curious, is this something he should tell his brother immediately?  Or should he skip the line and talk to their parents… decisions decisions but he doesn't have to wait for too long for an explanation.  Yutu explains himself pretty quickly when called out and Ortho is beyond excited to learn he's an uncle.  Less excited to learn about the impending apocalypse but he's sure they can fix it if they work together.  Now to double his efforts to get you and Idia together…

Idia- a second person has been isekaid to the NRC oh no.  Whatever will he do?  Well he intended to do nothing but Ortho isn't letting him.  For some reason he seems really determined to get him to hang out with you, almost like he knows about his crush he's been so good at hiding.  He can't complain too much, talking with you is weirdly soothing and much easier than he'd anticipated.  And Yutu's there too he guesses.  Sometimes they parallel play while Idia hangs out with you and that's nice.  It's sort of weird how in tune Yutu is with him though, sometimes he swears they could be related. A thought that Ortho is weirdly determined to encourage, and refuses to explain why... maybe he should be more worried about what anime little bro has been watching recently.

Diasomnia

Right so dragon biology is weird and our knowledge of half fae is very limited.  From how Sebek looks and how Malleus’s birth is discussed, I assume the eggs produced by love is exclusive to dragon fae and other species just get babies in the normal way.  All of that to say:

Malleus- Yutu is an oddity from the jump.  He looks very young, but insists he's around the same age as Yuu, and Malleus swears he feels his own magic is a part of him.  It's like a precious stone has grown some legs and started walking around and talking back to him.  He's a little bit in love, not the same way he's in love with Yuu, but much like a parent would think of a child… perhaps if they get closer he can offer him the night's blessing.  He does seem to be lacking it and that just won't do, something inside him says that needs to be fixed immediately.  Lilia questions him on whether or not he's jealous of how close the little one is to Yuu, which surprises him greatly.  Why would he be- well.  He does wish he could spend more time with Yuu but that sort of envy applies to everyone, not just Yutu.  And none of those guys are so unafraid of him to have made him a friendship bracelet so there. 

Lilia- a mage?  From Yuu's world?  How exciting!  He's very pleased to see how well he gets along with his boys and takes Sebek’s shouting in stride.  It's inspirational how quick he picks up on how gullible Sebek is and immediately starts telling-  well Lilia supposes he doesn't know they're outright lies but the scolding he gets from Yuu certainly suggests they are.  It's all very cute, and something he really wishes he could be a part of, but he knows his time is limited.  He'll just have to treasure these experiences while he's allowed them, something Yutu is very willing to help him do!  What a good kid, he'll have to tell him how proud his parents must be of him.

Silver- A portal, a monster, and a new mysterious person… it's concerning.  Something dangerous has got to be happening with how worried over you this new person is, his name is Yutu?  Weird but then his name is Silver so who is he to judge.  Anyway he introduces himself to Yutu and he asks why he came through the portal and… isn't really satisfied with his answers.  He doesn't think Yutu is a threat, not to Malleus anyway, but there's just something off about this whole thing and it's his task as a knight to make sure the people he loves are safe.  What's that?  Well of course you are one of those people.  You're very important and- why is Yutu looking at him like that.  He's telling the truth, what does he mean that makes it worse? Is it his face?

Sebek- Oh look another perfectly average human who is ok.  He guesses.  Not that he's thought extensively about you personally, only as a precaution to make sure you aren't disrespecting Lord Malleus, you get that right?  Him cornering Yutu with a strained look on his face and shouting at him about how to properly respect Lord Malleus is something he would do to anybody.  It has nothing to do with him assuming that if this person respects Lord Malleus they will be safe for "that human" to be around.  Unfortunately, Yutu is not just anybody and immediately starts yelling back accusing him of disrespecting you.  It's like there's two of them now, just with different biases, rip everyone's eardrums.

[tranzjen]

🖤💙 4 days until my Surgery 💙🖤

(Picture taken Dec 9th, 2023)

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ So see part 7 below the cut.

Part 1 here

As the summer was ending, I got really lucky! A lesbian hairstylist (who helped organize the drag show I went in the last update) gave my name to this sales lady who sold accounting work to like companies and she needed help with researching CEO and CFO types. And she paid me out of pocket and honestly it was pretty easy internet research using Google. I felt like a little rat scurrying across the Internet 🐀 So, thank you lesbians 🙏🙏

(Picture taken Nov 6th, 2022)

Apparently I really impressed her so she got me hired full time as a sales admin for her company (I wouldn't have gotten with my lack of a college degree without her) and I've had that job since! And a lot of my transition wouldn't be possible without the pay and benefits of this job. Also this is my first job where I get gendered correctly and I'm slowly getting less anxious about going to the bathroom at work 🥰

She honestly mom'd up on me and bought me a bunch of new business casual clothes for the job. And here's an example of one of my new work outfits 😁

(Picture taken Nov 14, 2022)

Bc of the new job I was able to afford a lot more things for transitioning! Like voice training. I remember when I first cracked I tried to just teach myself using videos but I wasn't good at it 😅 Also a friend during the summer of 2022 helped me and I did make some progress with her help. But, I started making a lot more progress once I started seeing a speech therapist. But, there was a barrier since I could tell she hadn't worked too much with trans people. I went to a speech therapist bc it was covered by my insurance but she moved and then I couldn't find anyone for insurance covered speech therapy. So, I eventually just paid for lessons Your Lessons Now. And, honestly it's going a lot better! It's really nice to be able to talk about my frustrations with voice training with another transfem. The biggest thing I'm learning from here is how to break the bad habit of pitching up my voice by squeezing my vocal chords.

(Picture taken Sept 8th, 2023)

I had also switched to injections and I highly recommend it! A friend even made my first two vials into earrings 🔥

I also got a lot lazier with makeup 😅 I do eyeliner wings, mascara, and blush for when I go into the office. Which for a bunch of accountants means I do about as much makeup that is normal for the women in the office 🤷‍♀️

(Pictures taken October 31st and December 2nd of 2022)

These were two notable exceptions. I really love the makeup I did for the Halloween of 2022 bc I decided to go as a ghost-type trainer. And the one on the right is when I learned how to use concealer to cover my 'raccoon eyes' as my dad liked to call them 🦝

Also this would be a good time to mention something I probably should've mentioned earlier 😅 I never learned how to use foundation. I know it's easy but I have a weird mental block around it 🤷‍♀️ But, in the summer of 2021 I started doing twice daily skincare routine for my face. Which took me from a very acne heavy face to people being surprised I'm not wearing foundation. Also the routine is really nice. Would recommend to those who want to get rid of their acne (send an ask if you want to know specifics).

(Picture taken Aug 20, 2023)

Romance update since I've been doing that lol: Well, things ended with all the girlfriends I had so I am down to 1 partner. And I got caught in a romance scam for a few months 😭 However, I can't really complain because I got engaged!!! It was so sweet in cute. My partner and I had this date the night before Valentine's Day under a statue outside of a local art museum. We read sapphic poetry by candle light and then they popped the question 🥰🥰

But, I say another big part of this era was I made a lot more local trans friends. Went to a good amount of house parties which would've surprised pre-transition me! And I really love my community of queer people I've been building 🥺🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️💕

(Picture taken July 21st, 2023)

Oh yeah!! I also started laser hair removal at the beginning of 2021 as well. Which was before this era but time is a lie. But the new job definitely made it easier to afford.

The biggest step for my transition was getting my surgeries set up!! And my FFS (facial feminization surgery) marks the end of this era. Below was the last picture I took before my FFS.

(Picture taken Feb 17th, 2024)

So, in my next update, I'll be showing my post-op pictures once most of the swelling went down. See you tomorrow!! 😁✌️

Next Part Here

[ranchracoon]

The Perfect Plan Pt. 2

Alpha! Mother Miranda x Omega! (Pregnant) Reader

*Birth warning*

Miranda hates you. She hates how you curl up into her when you sleep, how attractive you are with your wide hips and pregnant belly, how weak you've made her, by the Black God, she hates you. She especially hates how easily you tore down her walls and made her fall madly in love with you. You were never supposed to be her mate, she was supposed to impregnant you with a daughter then toss you back to be used by Dimitrescu and her daughters. Everything in her head said to give you the cold shoulder, keep your basic needs met and wait for you to give birth but then her body reacts the complete opposite. She tells herself that you are now her mate but that doesn't mean she needs to treat you as such, but then you look at her with those eyes and she melts. 

Her stone-cold exterior now a puddle because of you, and the simple thought alone that she will have a daughter again makes her want to cry. The first trimester was the hardest; you vomited over everything and barely kept anything down except crackers, bread, and water. Even that was too much most days. Now you've gotten better control over the vomiting but have made very strict demands that Miranda no longer use any sort of scented lotions or soaps for the smell makes you queasy. Her false children, Alcina specifically, haven't stopped calling to see how you're doing, and Miranda has been avoiding it. Instead, she forces villagers to construct a whole new room to her home for the baby and provides everything that the baby will need when she comes. She dedicates all of her time and energy to making sure you are comfortable. 

That is until one day Miranda has had enough with the phone ringing and finally answers only to hear that infernal doll on the other end. Miranda pinches the bridge of her nose, as the doll goes off. You and her unborn daughter have made her soft. By now she would have snapped and yelled at Angie for even raising her voice at her, but right as Miranda is about to yell, you wrap your arms around her torso. The warmth from your body soothes and smothers any raging fires inside her and she instantly calms. Her hand gently placed atop yours as you nuzzle into her back for added affection. Very well. 

"Alcina again?" You murmur when she hangs up. 

"No. Donna. She's worried because it's been over a month with no meeting, and I typically call one by now for updates. She doesn't know about you. None of them truly know. I suppose it's time to present you as my mate and inform them to resign their experiments." Miranda sighs. 

"It'll be okay." You reassure. 

"I hope you are correct."

Miranda calls Donna back and informs her there will be a meeting, then she summons the others and looks you over. You have to be presentable, although she couldn't care less what her false children think of you, she wants to show you off. She puts you in a comfortable outfit that still accentuates your hips and Miranda can't help but stare as you walk by. How much she loves watching you leave, the sway of your hips, the aroma of your scent, everything drives her wild. If it were up to her, she wouldn't let you leave without smelling like her but there's no time now. Because of your pace it takes you and her longer to get to the meeting place, and you use a handkerchief to cover your nose from the smell of rotting wood and mold. 

Not the best place to bring her pregnant mate, she'll have to do something about this to remedy that. The others are already there waiting impatiently, Heisenberg taps his foot annoyingly as Miranda keeps you off to the side for dramatic effect. 

"Thank you all for being here. As you know I have been conducting a new experiment and I am proud to say it has been a success. I have found an organic way of bringing back my daughter, and I have also found myself a new mate. Allow me to introduce Y/N."

You walk forward to take your place by her side. The room is mixed: Angie is overjoyed to have a child to play with, Heisenberg could care less, Moreau looks hurt and then there's Lady Dimitrescu. She's presenting all seven stages of grief, currently sitting at anger. She abruptly stands, Miranda positions herself in front of you for protection.

"Your mate? Well. Congratulations Mother Miranda. I'm glad your excitement was a success. May I ask, what does that mean for us and the village?" She asks through gritted teeth. 

Miranda scoffs and wants to say she could care less about her failures and the village. She only needed the villagers for experimentation. However, you touch her upper arm, and she remembers your request. She hates how weak you've made her, yet she would burn the world if you asked. Yet she loves how excited you get when she agrees, and the way your dimples pop out when you smile.

"The village has been neglected for too long. I want us to halt our experiments and instead spend energy into the village. New homes, better education, healthier fields. I want my future family to have a worthy home. As for you lot, I-" Miranda growls under her breath, she looks over her shoulder at you and you only stare at her with those doe eyes. 

"I apologize for how I have treated you in the past. My mate has requested that if you chose, you may be a part of this family proper."

"And what if we don't? What if we don't buy into this bullshit and think it's another plot to keep us under your thumb?" Snaps Heisenberg. 

He stands and Miranda shields you from his advances, "what if instead of being one 'happy little family,' I'd rather bash your skull in?"

"Then you are free to leave." Miranda responds coldly. 

Heisenberg halts in his step, he's skeptical of course and doesn't believe she's true to her word. He looks toward the door then back at her, inches toward it, looks again. He continues this until he's at the door, swings it open with a loud thud, and stomps through with the door slamming shut behind him. She dismisses the other lords who take their leave without a word, except Lady Beneviento. She approaches you and silently asks to touch your stomach. You agree and she rests her cold hands upon you. She feels the occasional kick and fluttering of movement which is more than enough excitement for her. 

*          *          *

Over the course of the next few short months, Donna and Alcina have sent you more than enough baby items. Clothes, cloths, numerous dolls, but your favorite is something you requested especially from Donna; a stuffed crow. It's the softest thing you've ever held, and you keep it safely tucked in the hand-built crib that Miranda got. Salvatore showed his affection in, well, his own way. He had fresh fish delivered daily and reported that the bay is now clear as crystal with healthy populations to feed the village a hundred times over. You're not going to tell him that fish currently makes you want to hurl. Miranda is the one who takes the longest to adjust. She spends long periods of time in her lab, and if it weren't for the smell, you would go down there to see what she's doing.

"Miranda." You say softly, sitting up with difficulty in bed.

"Yes, my dear?" She asks, helping you sit up and turning her attention to you. 

"What are you doing down in the lab? Ever since the meeting you've spent all our time down there."

You are worried for her, but another part of you is sad that she's no longer showering you with attention and affection like she did before the meeting. Miranda sighs and looks down, unsure of how to tell you. She's angry that you've made her change, she's happy that her experiment worked, she's mourning the loss of her purpose. 

"I'm down there because, I'm scared." She finally admits. 

You take her hand into your own, brushing your thumb over the back of her hand soothingly. 

"I haven't been a parent since I lost my dear Eva. I've spent the last hundred years trying to get her back and now, now I'm so close to having that again. What if, what if I've changes for the worse? You saw how the village was, if not for you I would still be that way. You've softened me, made me care, and I hate that. I believe I only hate it because it terrifies me. What if I lose this one too? Or I'm not a good parent?"

You kiss her knuckles tenderly, "if you treat this child even remotely as well as you've treated me then I would say you'll be just fine. I've never been a parent before, so this is a new learning experience for the both of us. I have full faith that you will be an excellent mom to our baby, especially with how much you've been willing to sacrifice and do. Although, I do think we should lock up the lab and not tell them about the thousands of experiments you've done. Not until they're older."

Miranda scoffs but she has a smile. She looks you over and her body relaxes, she hated you so much for you've changed her in the course of a few short months. It would seem you experimented on her as well. She changed your entire biology, and you changed her entire being. She loves you with a burning fire that will spread to the child in your stomach, and to every child after. Miranda loves you so much, it hurts her to try and comprehend how much she does. 

*          *          *

You scream loudly, the pain shooting through your entire body as you push with all your strength. Miranda braces and holds the crowning head and guides the infant out before plopping the crying being on your exposed stomach. She pushes the placenta out and pinches the umbilical cord before severing it. You pant heavily and toss your head back, a million miles swirling as you fade in and out of consciousness with the relief of no more pain. Miranda does everything: she takes your newborn daughter and cleans her face and body, putting her in a diaper and wrapping her warmly in a blanket. She cleans you off, hooks you to an IV, and gets your comfortable in bed to recover. As you regain some strength, now being fed a wonderful cocktail of pain meds, she hands the newborn over to you and you happily take her. 

She's beautiful. You tear up and smile down at her, caressing her round, swollen cheek as she scoots around for a nipple. You chuckle and begin to breastfeed your daughter, leaning back against the headboard and finally looking over at Miranda. Her hair is a mess, her face is flushed, she looks like she was the one who just gave birth and yet she still somehow looks beautiful. She brushes some hair away from your face and gives you a tender kiss on the forehead. 

"She's beautiful." You say proudly. 

"You and her both. I'm so proud of you."

[catscidr]

i. note — i was feeling a certain typa way because i kept coming across fics where the reader was described as busty so i wrote this in like two hours to make myself feel better lmao sue me…. ii. includes — dottore, afab!reader. no pronouns used, only descriptions of boobs/looking womanly (?) iii. cw — fluff, hurt/comfort, crack-ish bc this is a little silly, dottore is trying his best (maaaybe ooc), a little suggestive but nothing happens, talks of sex and oral, casual touching. MDNI. tldr reader is self conscious about their body and dottore tries to make them feel better lol iv. wc — 1,8k

It’s not often that you get to lay in bed with your lover; he’s always busy running around his lab, either fixing others’ mistakes or scrapping his own work to start over what he has spent so much time on. Dating the infamous Il Dottore was a challenge not many were strong enough for, but you made it work.

You would spend time with him in Haeresys by helping him with some tasks (even if they were small, and didn’t really need to be done in the first place). Handing him different tools when he’d wordlessly ask for them while neck deep in the guts of a Ruin Guard, carefully organizing old reports and documents in his desk that would never see the light of day anytime soon, and bringing him a healthy meal to eat while he worked (though you would do that yourself, because Archon forbid he actually eats on his own accord).

So, given how sparse your time together is, of course you would make it count. Of course you would use that time wisely, go out for an evening to a nice restaurant, maybe even cuddle up on the couch to binge an entire season of a show you had been meaning to watch for ages but couldn't bring yourself to because you wanted to watch it with him.

You wouldn’t dare spend your evening together in bed, wallowing in your own self-pity while he sits up, reading a book you can’t even stomach the contents of.

...Except that’s exactly what you’re doing.

You can't really help it, though. You know how he is; diligent and hardworking, a man of his craft. You know he doesn’t have the time to entertain you and your silly questions and hypotheticals, you know he’s not too fond of sweet touches and words of affection. You know this isn’t your typical relationship, but you don’t mind because you get to be with him— and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Save for when you sulk and feel so incredibly insecure and inadequate for a man such as himself.

Humans have needs. You are human, and you have needs. Dottore is a human (to some extent, though still technically human), so he, naturally, also has needs.

The issue lies in the enormous, metaphorical physical gap between you and your lover. Naturally, Dottore is essentially married to his craft, so getting any sort of action is usually out of the question. You can get a peck or two out of him, one in the morning and one at night (if you’re even awake to feel his scarred lips gently pressing into your cheek), but that’s where the list of physical affection ends.

You’ve talked about your desires and boundaries alike when you first (officially) started going out. The discussion didn’t leave out anything sexual in nature either; though the conversation was mostly led by you, while he simply nodded and pitched in with a word or two every so often.

It’s not to say you’ve never been physical with one another. But recently it’s been happening less and less, and you’ve been finding yourself in this position a lot more often; curled into yourself, lost in your own thoughts as you picked out every little detail about you that you were certain weren’t up to his standards. 

It’s only when you feel him shift next to you that you’re brought back to your shared bedroom, away from the rainy clouds stuffing your mind. 

Dottore shuts the book in his lap, keeping his right hand’s thumb wedged between the pages. He peers down at you with a curious expression, silently analyzing your suspicious silence. 

“You’re quieter than usual,” he comments, tone as flat as it could be. You crane your neck back to look up at him, the duvet covering most of your face as you wrack your brain for something to say. 

After a second of opening and closing your mouth, you finally say something. “’M just tired,” you murmur quietly, nuzzling deeper into the blankets to sell your point. He hums in response, placing his book on the nightstand next to his side of the bed and crosses his arms in front of him, brow quirked up in disapproval. Piercing red eyes stare down at you, making you hold back a shudder. Archons, you’d never get tired of seeing him without that ornate mask of his.

“It’s quite abnormal for you, of all people, to be silent when presented with the opportunity to have a conversation with me, uninterrupted” Dottore states, watching as you tense in your little cocoon. After a beat you emerge from your safety, chin just barely peeking out of the edge of the duvet. 

“...I had a long day.” You avoid looking at him, a pout gracing your lips. He huffs in response and runs a hand through his loose hair. “Long day you say?” Dottore keeps his composure intact, remembering the moments you’ve whined to him throughout the day about how completely and utterly bored you felt. 

“Mm. Long day, right,” he brings one hand down to hold onto the duvet and pulls it down, making you reach for the blanket to cover yourself up; though your efforts are in vain. “What’s on your mind.” 

The way he spoke to you sent shivers down your spine, shuddering at the way he spoke in a way he would when making a statement. 

“Nuhh... nothing. Nothing at all, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shift in the bed to cover yourself, even if it’s entirely unnecessary. The tee shirt you wore covered you plenty, but without the duvet you just felt so... exposed. Especially with how well Dottore could read your body language; it’s like you didn’t even need to say anything (because you didn’t). 

His gaze on you never relents as he scrutinizes your appearance; your furrowed brows, your hair sprawled across the pillow- still damp from your shower- and the way your lip trembles almost imperceptibly as you hold back the urge to talk about what’s been bothering you. He hates having to metaphorically twist your arm to get you to open up, but if that’s what he needed to do to keep you sane, he’d do it over and over again. 

Dottore scoots his body down to lay in the bed properly and turns to his side to face you, icy hair cascading down his neck as he pulls you in towards him with a hand on your waist. You squeak, tilting your head back so as to not invade his personal space. 

“What’s on your mind?” he asks, softer than before but still with a demanding tone. You shrink, avoiding looking into his eyes. 

“Nothi-” 

“I’m not in the mood for games.” He says your name quietly, thinly veiled with an unspoken warning. 

With a huff you bite the inside of your cheeks, and finally relent. You speak quietly and without even an ounce of confidence, earning a sharp sigh from your lover. 

“I can’t hear you when you mumble like th-” 

“I’m flat!” you practically shout. 

Dottore blinks back the whiplash that hit him in the face, stern expression fading into one of complete and utter perplexion. You don’t elaborate, staying quiet as a deep flush takes over your cheeks. 

“You’re... what?” 

He stares at you owlishly, for once at a loss for words. You nod, sitting up to properly articulate your feelings now that the cat was out of the bag. 

“My boobs are small! I have no ass! I’m... I look like a door!” You gesture at your chest, expression looking entirely distraught as you vent your feelings out to your lover. Your shoulders droop down unceremoniously, lips jutting out in a pout as you stare at the wall to avoid crossing Dottore’s gaze. The sound of the wind howling outside of your bedroom window morphs into what almost sounds like a laugh, as if mother nature herself was cackling at your expense.

“I feel bad when people see you with me. I can’t... I have such a bad gag reflex I can’t even take a third of your dick in my m-” 

He cuts you off by placing a hand on your shoulder, frown etched deep onto his face. If you looked closely you’d see red dusting the tips of his ears, contrasting against his hair. 

“You’re self-conscious because you have... small breasts and a... sensitive uvula?” Dottore says, his tone completely void of the confidence he usually carried. Fingers comb through your hair, light and gentle, as he thinks of what he can even say in response to your confession. 

You sniffle, looking down at yourself. The shirt you wore did little to help your smaller cup size— and as you frown at yourself, you bring a hand up and place it over one breast. “See, even my hand can cover them easily. My body doesn’t have even a little bit of curves.” 

Although at a loss, Dottore recovers from the absurdity of the situation in record time. He shifts your body so you’re now facing him, and very casually slips his hands underneath your shirt to cup your breasts. He speaks before you can, cutting off the slurry of complaints you had ready. 

“Have I ever complained about them?” he asks solemnly, forcing you to look at him. “As far as I’m aware I never have. Why bother being concerned over something so trivial?” 

His hands squeeze them gently, making you squeak in response. The more seconds pass, the more ashamed and flustered you feel for even bringing this up. As if a man of his caliber would even care for something like this, how stupid do you have to be to think of him as someone that only cared for looks?

“Well, no, but-” another squeeze cuts off your train of thoughts,” -b-but the rest...! Men like women with a fuller figure, I can’t even give you a titjob!” 

The words that flew out of your mouth made his head spin, from both irritation and embarrassment simultaneously. He inhales and exhales slowly, dragging his palms down to your ribs, then your waist, until they settle atop your hips. 

“I’ve never asked for anything of the sort,” he sighs, observing the changes in your face carefully. 

“Yeah, but-” 

“No ‘but’s. Your body is fine. It does not matter how it looks like from the outside; your organs are working properly, and you do not have any abnormalities forming anywhere inside or outside of it. How your figure looks holds little importance to me.” 

His words sink in, and you feel your invisible dog ears droop to rest flat on top of your head as you glance down at your lap, shame ringing in your ears. Dottore’s grasp tightens around your hips, demanding for your attention to be on him once again, refusing to let you sulk as long as he could help it.

“Although, putting functionality aside, do I need to remind you exactly what I think of your body? Shall I remind you how you make me feel whenever I see you parading around my office? How my body reacts to you?”

Your lips threaten to quirk up into a sheepish smile, but your shame still ate you up from the inside, keeping you from reacting. Your lover hums and flashes you a wolfish grin, leaning in towards your neck to nibble at your ear, teasing the flushed skin. 

“We do have the rest of the night to ourselves, don’t we? Want to find out just how much your body affects me, my love?”

[aihoshiino]

Rie Takahashi Interview (Oshi no Ko Anime Guidebook: First Report)

In the recently released First Report guidebook, a number of key staff members from the Oshi no Ko anime project were interviewed about their work on the show - so you can imagine my excitement when I saw that not only was Takahashi one of those interviewed, but that she had a lot to say about her performance as Ai and how she interpreted her character. I just had to translate it!

I will say up front that I have no intention of translating the other interviews in the book - this one took me long enough as it was and I fully admit it was pure blorbo bias that kept me going the whole time lol. Given that an English release of Glare x Sparkle is already in the works at YenPress, I imagine an English version of First Report might not be far behind so be sure to support it when it comes out. I'm just impatient lol.

As usual, this TL is a combo of my own comprehension, various online dictionaries such as Jisho.org, some MTL and me collapsing, weeping into smarter people's DMs to beg for their help. If you catch any mistakes, please let me know!

Anyway, enough rambling. Check out the interview behind the cut!

Please tell us about your favourite scene and line from episode 1.

Since Ai only appears in the first episode, I really wanted to make every moment count, so each and every one of her lines are special in their own way. It's hard to choose just one, but as a fan of the original work, the line "lies are an exceptional form of love" was one I was especially particular about. Since it's the line that truly encapsulates everything about Ai, I wanted to make sure that one stuck in people's minds.

You've said in the past you were an 'Oshi no Ko' fan even before being involved in the project.

While I was reading the original work, I actually admired Akane-chan the most. Obviously, I loved Ai as well, but being a voice actress myself, I was particularly interested in how a genius actress like Akane-chan prepared for her roles and what performances she'd go on to give. The chapters where she rises above all the online harassment especially left a huge impression on me. Anyone who's worked as a creative or even just in the public eye probably knows what a pulse-pounding experience it can be when you see slanderous comments about yourself - feeling like all of society has turned its back on you and you have nowhere to belong, and not being able to talk to your parents about it. It was depicted with such care and detail that I ached with her as I read it. But then, seeing her rise back up and declare "I don't want to quit like this" gave me a lot of strength. I wanted to become an actress like Akane-chan, who could come back to acting no matter what struggles I went through.

Since I loved Akane-chan so much, when I heard there were auditions for 'Oshi no Ko', I thought "I want to play her!". I even had the thought of 'Since the original work touches so deeply on what it means to be an actor, if they don't get a good actor for this, I might end up hating Oshi no Ko!' (laughs)

As a result, when I was cast as Ai, I knew I had to step up my game. I told myself, "If I'm going to play Ai, I need to give it my everything. Anything less won't do." I gave it my all with that in mind.

Did you audition for the role of Ai?

Yes, I did. But I couldn't get Akane-chan out of my mind, so I gave her a shot at the table audition. When I was preparing, I went over the manga at home and tried voicing each character and scene and there's a part in episode seven where Akane-chan mimicks Ai as she says "I sure am sleepy. We record way too early". When I tried that scene, I went "Hold on, maybe I really am the best fit for Ai?"

I guess my hunch was right because I didn't even make it through the first screening for Akane (laughs). Because of that experience, I'm deeply grateful to (Iwami) Manaka-chan for playing my beloved Akane-chan. I love both her work and her approach as an actress, so I'm thrilled to be working alongside her. I started off as a troublesome hardcore fan thinking "If they don't cast good actors for 'Oshi no Ko,' I might end up hating it!" but now I'm just like "thank you, voice actors!!" (laughs)

Were there any scenes you thought would be particularly difficult to perform based on the script or the original work?

So, I prepared for the role by going over volume 1 of the manga, the scenes where Akane-chan channels Ai and the short story, but there wasn't much more material at the time (laughs). So just preparing for the role was tough.  During recording, I sometimes checked in with (Akasaka) Aka-sensei about Ai. Now the story has progressed and Ai's character has become more defined, I secretly get a little nervous every time I read a new chapter. "I hope my performance in episode 1 wasn't off... I hope...!" (laughs) Obviously, Aka-sensei and the team were present during recordings, so my portrayal was probably fine but a revelation about her could still catch me out (laughs)

What sort of things did you hear from Akasaka-sensei?

There's a scene where Ai talks to her ex on a public payphone. I had to make sure there was the right amount of distance between them, and whether or not Ai still had any attachment to or fondness for him. I'm the sort of fan who enjoys analyzing the original work so I had mixed feelings about getting told the answer (laughs). But because I knew all the ins and outs of her backstory, I could contextualize her behaviour and the things she says and does.

Another scene was when Ai was scouted off the street and talked about her past, mentioning being abused by her mom. She wasn't saying it with the sense of "it hurts, I can't take it, I want to die" but instead she weaponizes it like "look at what I've been through, poor little me, right?". I tried to make my performance a balance of resilience with her vulnerability.

Also, I was directed to keep the monologue before Ai gets stabbed "emotionless", so I ended up giving a much more detached and matter of fact performance than I'd initially planned.

Were you mindful of the differences between Ai in her private life and Ai on stage when performing?

The tricky part of portraying Idol Ai is that if I make her too distinct, she'll stop being Ai. For example, if I play her as an innocent, optimistic idol, she'd be Ruby, not Ai. I focused less on "what to do as Ai" and more on "what not to do". In "Viewpoint B," Ai says, "The "idol" Ai is pretty much the complete opposite of who I really am, but she's the person I'd like to be." so that was the feeling I used as my reference when portraying Idol Ai. Incidentally, in my work as a performer, I purposely try to avoid drawing a line between my public and private self. So for Ai as well, the switches between the real Ai and the idol Ai feel surprisingly seamless to me. It's not that there are two distinct faces, but that Idol Ai exists inside the real Ai so it's more a question of which side of herself she shows at any given moment.

Ai’s fans in the original story only know the Idol Ai. What do you think draws them to her?

Like in the lyrics of YOASOBI's song "Idol," she's nonchalant, carefree, and easygoing. I could've portrayed Idol Ai as more cutesy, bubbly and flirtatious, but I felt that wouldn't have a convincing appeal to characters in the story like Gorou-sensei and the otaku who support her. I wanted to make sure it was believable that idol otakus in this world end up falling for her. I think it's her more laid back vibe, not the hyper energetic or "look at me!" type, that charms people.

So what would you say is the appeal to fans in the real world who know her full backstory?

Firstly, Ai-chan's overwhelming visual appeal. When you think of shocking pink and purple, you think of Ai! (Yokoyari) Mengo-sensei’s art is so powerful, and the glittering animation is also fantastic. I also find Ai's professionalism in her work really appealing. While she has the cuteness of an idol, she's not just cute—she works with an incredible level of dedication and professionalism. I admire and love her for everything, including her behind-the-scenes efforts. It's impressive, she’s really cool! 

I’ve ended up with a lot more respect for the word ‘idol’ as a result. In the past, when my voice acting involved singing, dancing, and participating in unit activities, being described as an "idol voice actress" didn't quite sit right with me. But now, I realize how honorable and responsible that title is. Idols work hard behind the scenes, constantly smiling while singing and dancing, and performing so brilliantly. If there are moments when I'm called by the same title as those incredible idols, I feel I need to make an effort to match their quality, or it would be disrespectful. It really motivates me to do my best.

There’s a line in Ai's monologue where she says "I wanted to love someone, I wanted someone to love." Why do you think Ai wanted to give love rather than receive it?

It could be that she's looking for somewhere to belong, hoping that "if I can love, I might be loved in return". Ai's history of abuse and mistreatment likely made the love she received feel very different from the love most people experience. I think it all stems from Ai thinking of herself as an abnormal person - she might have believed that to be loved, she needed to become someone who could genuinely love others. It’s a bit of a chicken and egg situation with a lot of complex feelings. That’s just how I interpret it, though.

And in the end, she realizes her love for the twins is not a lie.

I think that Ai loved the twins all along, not just in that last moment. But the word “love” was like a curse for her, so she couldn't actually say it. That feeling only intensified after I watched the anime. There's an anime original bit where Ai kisses the twins on the foreheads and says, “I'm off,” when she leaves for work. That's the kind of thing you can only do with love - she was just too scared to actually put it into words. Though she was able to express her love fully in her final moments, it’s still sad it took such an extremely situation for her to be able to say it. If it’d never happened, or if she’d simply put the door chain on, she might never have said it. She might have always struggled to say those words. But it’s thanks to the twins she learned how to love. Even the love she has for her fans, that she derided as a lie, was always true. And when she told Ryosuke-kun, “I want to love you,” I think she was already loving him even then.

In the audio commentary included on the Blu-ray & DVD bonus disc, I was struck by the mention of Ai being so nervous before she says “I love you” to Ruby and Aqua, that she takes a deep breath. What sort of direction were you given for that line?

There wasn’t any direction, actually. During the recording, my focus was entirely on expressing Ai’s breathing after being stabbed, how much blood she was losing, and the urgency of conveying her final words. It was an intense experience. It’s a rare moment as a voice actor to feel like me and the character I'm playing have our hearts beating in sync, but this was one of those times. I think I was genuinely nervous myself as well. I could feel my heart pounding and my chest clenching like when you’re about to make a confession. That feeling still hasn’t left me.

Additionally, in the last monologue of episode 11, where Aqua reflects on Ai's words after she was stabbed, we couldn't use the original recording from the first episode. The recording from the first episode captured a raw and genuine emotion, as Ai was gasping for breath. So we re-recorded it with the intention that the more it resonated warmly within Aqua, the more unforgettable those words would become for him. I wanted to make sure that Ai’s final words would leave a lasting impact, something Aqua would revisit in his mind over and over again. Personally, I approached the recording with a deep sense of love, like passing the baton and saying, “Thank you, everyone, for your hard work in the first season.” There was a lot of warmth during that session, not just towards the twins, but towards the entire cast, staff, and the "Oshi no Ko" project itself.

What were your thoughts upon reading 45510?

I got to the end and I was like “Don’t delete the blog! I want to know more!” (laughs) The entire story felt like a box that really shouldn't be opened. Everything from the meaning behind the password numbers to the fact that Ai left behind a blog wanting to reconcile made it feel like Ai really, truly wanted to love the other girls in B-Komachi even when they were jealous of her.

In the anime, we only get a brief moment of interaction between Ai and the other members - that moment during dance practice, when one of them says, "You look kinda down, Ai-chan" and Ai replies with a smile, "That’s not it. I didn’t get to eat lunch!" So I was careful that Ai’s response didn't feel sour at all. If the sigh she let out before they spoke to her had even a hint of annoyance, it would’ve been a reason the other girls took offense with her. I felt like Ai’s invincibility should’ve been the main factor for their issues with her.

It’s just a brief interaction in the anime, but ‘45510’ really fleshed out that distance between Ai and the B-Komachi members. I based my understanding of these boundaries in her relationships on ‘45510’ and ‘Viewpoint B’ and I also read ‘Oshi no Ko: Spica, the First Star’ to get a fuller picture. The more I read, the more I understood - Kana Arima’s got the right idea!

YOASOBI’s song ‘IDOL’ closes out episode one.

The music itself was impactful, but the music video that was released after the first episode aired was something else altogether. We watched the first episode together with the cast, and then, after seeing the music video, I felt overcome by Ai’s presence all over again - I was left speechless by how powerful the experience was. "Oshi no Ko" really is an immersive experience. I mean, you willingly open YouTube and relive Ai's death yourself. Even after everything was conveyed in the main story, the music video introduced new layers of emotions and concepts. Seeing how YOASOBI's song "Idol," which was about Ai, resonated with so many people really made me realize all over again just how significant Ai's impact was!

And then you yourself sang IDOL at the Strawberry Productions☆Fan Thanksgiving Festival 2023 (FanFest).

For me, "Idol" is a challenging song to sing even at karaoke. So, when they asked me to sing it at the FanFest my initial reaction was, "Oh, that might be too much!" (laughs). It’s not a song that you can easily perform live (laughs). It's a song that only an incredible artist can pull off, so when I thought about singing it live on stage, I was like, "Really? Me?" But when I saw the setlist for the live part of the FanFest, I started feeling like, "Actually, I think I should give it a shot." As a performer, I had some reservations about whether I could deliver the quality it deserved, but the "Oshi no Ko" fan in me couldn't resist. I was like, "Everyone wants to see Ai's voice actress sing 'Idol'" (laughs). After a lot of back-and-forth, I decided to go for it. I understood how Kana Arima felt when she joined the new B-Komachi. The joy of being relied upon by the team and the desire to meet the expectations of the work won out in the end.

Between “Our Sign is B”, “HEART's♡KISS” and “STAR☆T☆RAIN”, which is your favourite B-Komachi song?

That’s a tough one since they’re all A-side quality! (laughs) It was like, "Wow, B-Komachi is seriously awesome!" You can really feel the passion from the music team, like they were determined to bring the world of "Oshi no Ko" to life through these songs. It was also surprising to see how the series expanded from the manga into this whole new realm of music.

Was there anything specific you focused on while recording the project’s songs?

I tried not to change my tone just because it was a song. My focus was on making sure that when people listened, they could immediately recognize it as Ai's voice. At first, it was really hard to come up with a solid idea of what "Ai singing” sounded like. Usually, she's a pretty laid back and carefree, but she can’t exactly sing like that during a live performance. Ai’s a pro when it comes to entertaining the audience and enjoying the moment with them so I was constantly trying to find the right balance between Ai’s characteristic nonchalance and the high energy of a live idol performance. The first recording I did was for "HEART's♡KISS," and honestly, I ended up putting too much force into the opening line, "I'll send you a cheer." Since the song's theme is about sending everyone good vibes, I got too intense with my delivery. I got an ‘OK’ on that take but when I listened back to it, I felt that it wasn’t quite right, so I asked to redo just that part. If people didn’t immediately sense Ai at the very start, I worried that they wouldn't feel her presence throughout the entire song.

If you were to send a message to Ai, what would you say?

There’s so much I’d love to say to her, it’s hard to pick just one thing. Still, I think Ai was really happy in her life because she got to say "I love you" in the end. Even though her life might seem tragic to others, the feeling that stuck with me from playing her was a sense of incredible contentment. So, I’d probably just want to have a casual chat with her and watch over everyone together. Oh, but I’d definitely tell her to keep that door chain locked!

[saikoucorps]

Can I get poly headcanons of FatGum x Gender Neutral!Reader x Hawks where Hawks is pining for FatGum but FatGum likes Reader so Hawks is jealous and tries to keep them apart but slowly finds himself in love with the reader too and is a bisexual disaster who needs to make up for his mistakes? I just think it would be a fun scenario.

:ఌ¨ ♱ MHA POLY RELATIONSHIP HCS

A/N — I loved this idea, I hope this is good enough!

☆ pairings : Fatgum x gn!Reader x Hawks

☆ tags : love triangle turned poly, poly!Hawks, poly!Fatgum, Hawks pining, soon established relationship, jealousy

☆ relationship summary : Hawks loves Fatgum! Unfortunately, Fatgum has an interest in you. But in an attempt to keep you two apart, Hawks realizes he's in love with you both.

ꪆ୧FATHAWKS× gn!READERꪆ୧

Hawks couldn't stand it.

Whenever he was on patrol, he could see you and him walking together. He hated it.

Every time he saw you together, he'd interrupt whatever conversation you guys had going on.

He didn't see what was so great about you at all. I mean, he could understand why you hung out with Fatgum. He was amazing.

Every time you two were on patrol or fighting a villain, he'd show up just to ruin your moment.

He even used his feathers to easedrop on you two!

Once, you had asked him for the coordinates on Fatgum, and he sent you to the wrong location. He did that because he wanted to fight alongside him..

He'd constantly join your conversation, hoping he'd forget about you and finally pay attention to him..

Except that didn't happen. At all.

He enjoyed both of you guys' company.

He no longer despised the thought of you, he still wanted Fatgum.. but.. you weren't that bad.

At all, actually.

He found himself naturally joining your conversations, and sometimes, he'd ignore you two talking.

The three of you began to hang out more, too. (You were already used to Hawks' appearance.. this was nothing new.)

You actually noticed his change.

Instead of being petty, things felt real.

Things with Fatgum have always been well too.

He always took you out to eat, saying it was for his quirk.

He always protected you during fights as well.. he was nice.

He always complimented you, and even helped you improve.

You ended up seeing Hawks do the same for both of you.

You all had begun to appreciate one another..

Which is why Hawks was the first to confess.

"I'd never thought I'd find myself being in love with two people."

"Oh, who?"

"They're right here in front of me."

It took a lot of shock from you and Fatgum to realize he was serious.

You both admitted you felt the same for him, but you three weren't sure what to do.

Hawks suggested a poly relationship. Funny enough, Fatgum didn't even know that was.

After a very long conversation.. you three began to date.

Jealousy was extremely rare after that, but Hawks still teased you two.

FOOD DATES ALWAYS you three, if not doing hero work, take your hangouts to restaurants.

They're both extremely protective. When in battle, they're always quick to protect eachother and you.

The height difference. Fatgum is 8'2 and Hawks is 5'8.

Fatgum tends to be the more mature one, but it's rare. You three are always having fun.

Fatgum is AMAZING at comforting. Hawks comforts in his own way, but Fatgum is more practical.

Hawks picks up on the smallest details about you two. He literally knows everything.

☆ If you want to request a ship x reader, send an ask or comment/reblog ^^ !! ☆

[ilys00ga]

FOREVER, YOU & ME.

pairing: yoongi x oc

genre: yandre!yoongi, doctor!yoongi, patient!reader, doctor/hospital au, one-shot.

warning: mentions of drugs (?), obsessive and manipulative behavior, non-consensual, use of pet names.

A/N: tried something new :) really couldn't stop myself from writing again. sorry.

ᵎᵎ 𖦹彡⋆｡˚・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

pitch dark night sky, bright colorful lights drowning the crowded streets of Seoul and fireworks painting the canvas of the sky. it's New Years Eve, everyone is outside. people playing here, others dancing there. even those who prefer staying inside restaurants to enjoy the presence of their loved ones in the first moments of the year.

however the celebration is, everyone is doing something on the streets of Seoul tonight.

one hour post midnight, and the hospital is still alive and cold, as usual.

"I left some other reports and important papers on your desk, I'll be helping Dr. choi for the rest of the night." nurse Jeon tells yoongi as they stand at the reception.

"are there any news on the missing patient?" nurse Jeon asks.

"nope. it's been three days and still no trace." the receptionist answers.

"that's weird. she was getting discharged right before disappearing." nurse Jeon's brows furrow. "poor girl suffered here for months and never got a break."

"maybe she just decided to leave quietly with no warning." yoongi hums casually. it's no rare case to have patients leaving the hospital with no words, as soon as their treatment ends. some are just impatient as that.

"she was friendly though, hyung. I expected a small goodby, to be honest." yoongi snorts with an eye roll at the younger's pout. he is naturally social, this one, he likes to befriend the patients to make them feel as comfortable as their healing process requires, and maybe a tiny bit more.

yoongi, on the other hand, is less social and more professional. he likes to focus only on his job and to smoothly terminate his missions.

"she was your patient, though, are you not even slightly worried, hyung?" he added.

"she's probably having a blast now, Jeon, it's new year's eve in the outside world. now, you get going." with a last pat on the nurse's back, yoongi bids his goodbye and leaves to the upper floors.

he passes by sleepy rooms, walking through long, white corridors with his hands tucked in the pockets of his white, neat knee-length lab coat. there's barely any people at this hour in the hospital, so any loud noise can be ten times louder in the thick, silent air of the night. he hums a random melody he grew fond of in the past couple of days as quietly as he can.

finally, he reaches a door. twisting the knob and entering his much warmer office, in which he barely lets anyone save from his nurses and very few collegue-friends.

unwanted presence means unwanted curiosity, which leads to unwanted questions and feelings.

ever so quietly, he removes the stethoscope hanging from the back of his neck and down to his chest, then puts it atop the desk. he always avoides touching the silver parts because of how annoyingly cold they usually get, despite the awake radiators that are distributed everywhere in the building.

bending towards one of the drawers, he opens it, pulls a key and a filled needle out, then heads to open another door inside the office. a door strictly forbidden for anyone except from himself.

every time the very few people that are allowed inside the office ask about that door, he says it's the private room in which he uses for resting and personal time when his shift hours get crazy.

a wave of relief washes over him upon stepping in.

the space is almost empty, limited in furniture. there's darkness, a small lamp on a small night stand right next to a bed, a heater, and there's a body.

someone is lying on that bed.

you are lying on that bed. small form, unmoving limbs, resting pale face, closed eyes, dark circles, dry lips... it would've been easy to assume that your soul had already left and rose high up to the skies if it weren't for the faint raise and fall of your torso.

a low melody, the same one he was humming a few minutes ago, can be heard as well. almost non-audible, not to grab any external attention or... disturb your deep, deep slumber.

yoongi smiles as he slowly sits on the edge of the bed, so careful as if you'd wake up at the smallest of mouvements.

the faint yellow lights of the lamp shone gently on your face, making him lift his hand to caress you skin and stare. thoughtless and content. just staring.

a few moments pass by and he snaps out of his hase, remembering what needs to be done first and before anything else.

he grabs the needle with one hand and holds your wrist in the other. he's so gentle with his touch. so gentle as if to apologize for what he's been doing to you.

"it's time for your shots, pertal." he whispers to your unconscious body. "I'm helping you sleep soundlessly, with no worries or corrupt thoughts."

the needle stabs your skin and pushes the drug into you vein.

"it's been three days, my love. I love having you here, you know?" he pulls the needle out and puts it in his pocket.

"people are looking for you. they want to take you away from me. like you wanted to leave and go away.. far away.. and leave.. I won't let that happen." his face eyes grow sharper as his words become saltier, but his voice stands soft and calm.

he lays down to face your stomach and hugs you. he hugs you tight and close, afraid you'd jump out of the bed and run away at any given moment. as if you could even lift a finger in your condition.

yoongi closes his eyes shut and inhales deeply, allowing your scent to settle into his lungs, locking it there and in his brain as well so he could remember it when he's away from you, doing whatever shitty thing his job makes him do during his shift.

"I can't let you go. I know you're a good little thing. nothing will change between us as long as you behave and stay with me. like this. forever."

"it's you and me forever, darling."

[weird-is-life]

saw that you were open for requests so uhm, oblivious idiots in love w tasm!peter? you know, where both of them definitely have a crush on each other and everyone knows except the two of them so their friends keep dropping hints on other's behalf (cos they know they're both too shy to say it themselves) but it's s frustrating cycle of denial and obliviousness? totally up to you how jt ends :)

have a great day!

Hii lovely, ty for the request💕! Sorry it took so long, but hopefully it's not too bad. Warnings: fluff, oblivious idiots, swear words, like one pet name, use of y/n, mentions of bars(0.6k)

You and Peter are definitely the most oblivious people ever. You friends can't even believe how blind you two are. It's actually pretty embarrassing.

They've been trying to get you two to finally come to the realisation for too long now. So they decide to make a more drastic approach to it. They basically make you two go on a date.

Your friends tell you and Peter that you are all hanging out at a nicer place than a pub for a change and that you should dress nicely.

So you do you put on a nice sundress and Peter puts on a white shirt and black trousers.

You only just realise what exactly is happening when you arrive at the fancy bar, and find only

Peter no sign of your other friends.

"Hi Pete," you greet him a little baffled, "where's everyone?"

"Hi sweetheart," his nickname immediately has you blushing, you go even more red as Peter gets up and hugs you oh so tightly, "I don't think they are coming."

He says it with a guilty face, "what do you mean they are not coming?" You ask him even more confused.

"It's just....-" Peter struggles to find the right words, and you don't know what to make of it.

"What is it?"

"I didn't mean for you to find out like this, I've been trying to gather the courage to tell you myself, "he takes a deep breath," I like you y/n, like more than friends. And I've wanted to invite you to a date for so long, but I guess our-our friends thought it would do me good if they did it for me. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, y/n that they made you come here on my account. I totally understand if you want to go, fuck I know I would, " Peter basically blurts this whole confession in one go, and it almost makes your head spin. You can't believe this is happening.

"Are-are you...Do you really mean it?" you ask with a little hope.

Peter gives you a small, defeated smile, "of course, I mean it I wouldn't just joke about something like this. I like you y/n, always have."

"Pete, but I like you, too." Peter's face instantly lights up," I thought our friends did this because of me, I've been a coward as well. I couldn't bring myself to actually tell you the truth. I really like you, Peter. More than just a friend." You both chuckle as you add the last sentence.

Peter suddenly gets up happy as one can be, and offers you his hand. "Do you maybe wanna go somewhere else?"

You grin at him," I thought you'd never ask, I mean gosh, this place is definitely too fancy for us. What were our friends thinking?"

You giggle as Peter leads you out of the fancy bar, but Peter abruptly stops outside, and you almost bump into him.

"I haven't really asked you, have I?" Peter chuckles, "would you like to go on a date? With me? Right now?"

You can't help it, you kiss his cheek, and say, " I'd love to Pete."

And just like that your friends' plan works out. You go on a cute date, and hold hands the whole way to that different location. And maybe, just maybe (he does), Peter works out the courage to kiss you goodbye after he walks you home.

[dark-side-blog3]

How would you rank the six Jojo leads from the OG continuity from worst to best to end up with?

I'm gonna take this as an add-on to the would you rather game from before, so the answers will be super self-indulgent, and yandere.

Short answer is I would prefer to end up with none of the yanderes, at least not the jojo's. But in terms of damage, I suppose Jonathan is the safest, and Giorno is the worst. It should be Jolyne because Stone Ocean is more dangerous, but Giorno skeeves me out more. Jolynes only so low because everyone around her would instakill me.

+++++++++++++++++

Jonathan is a milk toast of a man. He's unthreatening, because of his noble code. If I got isekai'd, the worst Johnathan could possibly do to me is just have me associated with him, because Dio would fuck me up just to mess with him. In which case, I'd either have to avoid Jonathan so hard Dio can't target me, or I'd have to glue myself to his side so he could protect me from Dio. Which would be what feeds into his tendencies, but they're not really dangerous, so I suppose I'll just have to suck it up.

Joseph is funny and charming, and in earlier parts, he's cunning and witty. He leans heavily into the bad boy heartbreaker persona, so the idea that he's going to be possessive of his partner wouldn't seem out of the ordinary. And all of these would make him the match if it weren't offset by the cheating. How Suzie didn't kill him, I don't know. Her patience is infinite. I, on the other hand, would kill us both. Until then, he wouldn't be too bad.

Jotaro and I would fight way too much. He only wants to talk about his interests, and I can't shut up about my interests, and there is zero overlap between the two. There are only so many times I can endure a Clint Eastwood marathon, and there are only so many minutes he'll let me talk about pinnipeds or linguistics. I couldn't care less about the actual crimes he commits, but the clash of interests would be what makes him the (second) most unbearable.

Josuke has never faced long-term interpersonal consequences to his actions, which means that he'll be genuinely surprised if I stay mad at him after a fight. He nearly beat Okuyasu to death and they're best friends. He punched a hole through his mom and never got in trouble. So why am I still mad at him a week after a verbal fight that didn't even get violent? The world will never know (I will tell him every day, he just doesn't want to hear it). The only reason I wouldn't try to piss him off too much, like saying I got isekai'd and I can't stay in Morioh, is because I've seen Angelo. I choose to not be a fucked up rock Josuke does shameful things with.

Giorno is fucking creepy if you don't hear his internal monologues; which if isekai'd, I wouldn't be able to. I'm with Abbacchio on this, I don't trust this motherfucker. He just stares as people get injured in front of him, and waits until the last possible second to help them, and he's so obviously scheming behind those eyes. I would avoid him like the plague, even if I somehow got involved with the mafia. He's just so... Weird. And calculating. Giorno isn't the only smart jojo, but he is the most intimidating for his intelligence. The vibes are just so rancid on him... I'm throwing myself into the Tiber before I enter this narrative.

Jolyne is a puzzle. I'm not sure what I'd do if I got isekai'd... Do I avoid her and avoid the ire of Anasui, or get my ass beat by the enemy stand users literally everywhere? Not to mention the regular people who just happen to be in a supermax, who will probably prey on me for being an easy target. I'd be totally lost in terms of what to do. At least with the others, there's a hope of escape, or playing my cards right to utilize them. But I don't think there is a good strategy with Jolyne except carefully slotting myself in the toxic friendzone, and hoping for the best. At least it shouldn't be impossible to do.