#I must love the gilly girls a lot

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 14, "It Should Have Been Lorelai"

Oh thank god! There's a Breather episode before the next Shitshow Circus episode, Lost and Found, which I still don't know if I'll even bother watching. Sure this episode has Christopher in it but I can tolerate him and I can tolerate his shitty annoying relationship with Lorelai because it's utterly meaningless to me. Someone rescue me from the back half of Season 2, it's a fucking nightmare. I didn't finish A Tisket A Tasket, because my blood pressure rises with each and every passive aggressive comment that comes out of Lorelai Gilmore's mouth and I just could not take it anymore. So anyhow, dk how it ended exactly, but it looks like Lor and Ror have made up after their "Jess is Bad News" fight. Whee. Phones and doorbells seem to ring constantly in this episode so throughout today's insane rambling I'm going to make a game out of guessing who's butting in to the Gilly Girl's lives. Feel free to play along. Rory: Let's sit at the counter. Lorelai: Oooh, we could sit at opposite ends and play bagel hockey! Luke: Just sit at a table. Lorelai: You're awfully rude to someone who only has two paying customers. Are those two paying customers in the bathroom right now? They're not you and Rory that's for sure. #PayLukeForYourFood RINGING PHONE OR DOORBELL: #1. The phone rings at the diner and someone is asking for Rory which is weird. Is it Jess or Christopher? LOL, that's silly, Jess lives there. I bet it's Christopher.

Oop, swing and a miss for TWWGG.

Having not seen the ending of the last episode ,I must assume Lane has been grounded for 25 years for Talking To A Boy. And I was correct.

Lane: It's the mother of all groundings. I'm being home schooled for two weeks. I only have 5 minutes a day to talk on the phone. She's done everything but slap a Dr.Dre ankle bracelet on me. I know who Dr. Dre is but that was a topical reference that whoosed right over my head and I had to Google it. #DeepCut Lane: Give me some news. Rory: Dean's been working extra hours to save up for a new motorcycle so I hardly see him. She wants to you to tell her something interesting, not give her the Butthead News and Weather Report. Count your blessings that you're in a Dean drought. It's all a girl could ever ask for. To not see Dean Forrester for weeks.

I'm placing money on them bringing back this Dean Rides a Motorcycle nonsense that they haven't mentioned in a literal forever only because Christopher is coming back to town and also rides a motorcycle and the two clowns are going to bond over it like they did over softball (Dean never plays softball again after Christopher left). Then it will be promptly forgotten about again, and Dean will be back to having the personality of an amorphous blob, just blobbing about with no real hobbies, interests or passions besides stacking cans of string beans for mininimum wage and yelling at Rory. I've seen this show several times, but when an episode is this unmemorable* I can just while away my time making predictions about what's going to happen.

*unmemorable=Little to No DALA (dean and lorelai affair) or Jess Involvement Rory segues from "Butthead has been working overtime for weeks” straight into "Mom and I haven't done laundry in weeks" and doesn't explain why, which makes it sound like Dean had been doing their laundry until he started working overtime. He probably pockets Lorelai's panties. Time for a Where's Jess break? Where's Jess? (I think this is one of those episodes where they just stick him on at the end wiping down counters or something. PLEASE let it be on those episodes. PLEASE let it be a Counter WIping episode. I need a fucking break). RINGING PHONE OR DOORBELL #2 (doorbell this time) I bet it's Dean Dean Stacks The Stringbeans.

YAY! It's just Rory's lover, looking like a lost puppy dog. Oh, so I forgot to mention Rory and Paris are going to be in a debate at school and participating on the same team. *inhales deeply* Smell that? That's the smell of sweet, sweet, low stakes, No-Boy filler plot. How I missed ye. Paris shows up at the Gilly Girls house to see Rory under the guise of "we need more preparation before the debate/you need to learn to speak faster" in the same way that Dean shows up to "Change Lorelai's water bottle" or "Do her laundry".

Out Of Context Gilly GIrls Time for An Ancient Technology break! (ATB) Paris: I was making CD recordings from the cassettes I made of our mock debates... Say no more Paris, say no more. *basks in the gentle glow of Early 2000's Technology references* RINGING PHONE OR DOORBELL #3 (phone rings for Lorelai) Definitely has to be Christopher this time.

*deep shudder* Everytime Christopher says "Lor" and Logan says "Ace" an angel stubs their toe.

HOW CONVENIENT.

I really wish she would, my girl needs a break. Anyway Crusty is in town on business and so Lorelai invites Crustypher to Rory's debate and he accepts and my sweet summer child RoryGil is excited that her dad will be there (or so he says...) RINGING PHONE OR DOORBELL #4. Prediction: Dean. Second Place Prediction:Lane Again Third Place Prediction: Jess (Why do I keep assuming Jess is going to call Rory? That's so silly).

Lane wants Rory to pick up a new CD for her when she couldn't get Amazon to overnight it to her and again I'm just floored whenever this show reminds me that Amazon was around in 2002. Describe The Fathers on Gilmore Girls in 6 Words or Less. Go. Lorelai: Do you see Christopher anywhere? Sookie: Uhhh.no.

Brad is me slogging through Season 2 torture.

This looks like something straight out of the opening credits of a corny sitcom. "...Special Guest, Christopher Hayden as Sperm Donor/ Buttclown #2" *sitcom music plays*

Oh, Sherrie. Another innocent lamb lost to the clutches of a Gilmore World Man. Let us pray.

Another snapshot of my Season 2 torture. No Lorelai! Stop! it's okay! Please! I don't need to hear how Dean is tall and pretty again! I GET IT! Waaah. Rory and Paris win the debate. Rory to Christopher in an innocent, chipper, cheerful chipmunk voice that belies the deep seated trauma of being a child with an absent father: Dad, you came to see me! I'm not used to that! Christopher, not so much as blinking at his child calling him a deadbeat dad to his face, while smiling goofily: This is Sherry!

.....?!

Lorelai invites Crusty and poor Sherrie back to their house, and Christopher seems excited to see the house his daughter lives in since he never visits.

Out of context Gilly Girls My dear readers, I hope you one day find someone who looks at you the way Paris looks at Rory. Paris is crushed when Rory tells her she has plans with her deadbeat father and she won't be able to hang out with her post-debate and compare WPMs, braid each others hair, practice kissing...

My dear readers, I hope you one day find your person, the special person like Paris, someone who feels a deep, crushing sorrow n their heart when you tell them you have other plans even though you'll see them at school again in less than 24 hours, causing them to lash out at you like they're fooling anybody with their Oh Whatever That's Just Fine'ing. Ror and Lor rush home and Lorelai says there is no food in the house again except leftover cheese & crackers and Halloween candy. Lorelai does not feed her child or do laundry. In addition to every character on this show needing the services of a competent therapist and accountant, The Hollow needs a visit from Child Protective Services. For pennies a day, you can sponsor a starving child, a poor innocent soul forced to subsist on crackers, candy, coffee and greasy diner food. Your donation will also go towards the purchase of laundry detergent for this smelly unwashed family. Jess’ mother never cooked either so I guess that’s another argument for Literati Soulmates! That special bond over shared Child Neglect!

Sherry showers Rory with compliments and invites her shopping, but then isolates Lorelai and says this...weirdness: Sherrie: I just want you to know you shouldn't feel like you have to get to know me. At all. Just because Christopher and I are close doesn't mean we need to be close, or friends, or anything for that matter. But i desperately want to get to know Rory. Ummm..the audacity to say something like that to the mother of your boyfriend's child 30 minutes after you meet her after she invited you into her home and offered you apple juice? And you "desperately" want to get know his child? This is shady. Sherrie: You know, if we didn't meet unexpectedly today, we'd probably never meet. Because your boyfriend never visits his daughter, right. Sherrie: Rory is so important to him. He is obsessive about his "call dates" to her! No matter where we are what we're doing he has to call her every Wednesday at 7pm! I like that about him! To be so blissfully ignorant and delusional and actually believe what Christopher says! Oh honey. It's like she's got the soft outer shell of Rory but also hangs on to whatever bullshit spews forth from the piehole of an immature worthless manboy pissbaby like Lorelai does whenever Dean speaks. Sad that the best Rory can expect from Crusty is one "call date" per week and I absolutely don't believe even he's even doing that, Sherrie's been brainwashed, but hey! At least he's better than Jimmy Mariano. I guess? #BattleOfTheDeadbeats

Sherry after Crusty happily admits to her that he was (is) a deadbeat dad:

First Rule of Gilmore World: Never trust a Gilmore World man when he says he's trying to change. Never ever. Lorelai says "he's been doing very well with it" just to placate Sherry when honestly she should be shoving this Sherrie woman out the door already and telling her to never come within 100 miles of her or her child again.

She goes on to say that she needs Rory for something very important, she needs her tonight, there is something so pressing and urgent that Rory needs to be excused from FND for this yet unknown Extremely Pressing Urgent Event and she needs her ALONE. This is verging into very concerning territory. Lorelai should be highly concerned. Lorelai, I am concerned that you don't seem more concerned and you agreed to let your teenage daughter go to an unknown place alone with this woman you just met. RINGING PHONE/DOORBELL #5 This call is recieved at the Gilly Girl house while they're with Christopher and Sherry. Okay, I'm clueless for this one. I have to say Lane again, there's no one else. Emily? Dean just because he hasn't shown up to ruin this respectable Breather episode yet?

LOL! That was fun. I chuckled. Rory is going to this unknown thing with Sherrie which is a setup Christopher to go with Lorelai to FND by themselves. Okay, before I conclude part 1 of this commentary (which has already taken several hours and I still have 20 minutes left) I am DYING to see why this Sherrie wants to isolate Rory and I hope it's not gruesome. Rory Gil, we hardly knew ye.

RoryGIl's about to become the hostage here. Blink twice if you need help. My only guess for why Sherry needs to isolate Rory so badly, will be something about asking her for blessing to marry Crusty or something. I really don't know. Neither Lor nor Rory has asked Sherry or Christopher where Rory will be going. RING RING! #6 (as the Gily Girls are getting dressed for FND/ for Rory to be lead to a gruesome end by a child kidnapper) Well it has to be Crusty or Sherry this time. Who else? LANE AGAIN!!! LOL.

THIS IS SO MUCH FUN. I need the phone to ring a seventh time! Sherry and Christopher arrive and finally mention that Sherry will be taking Rory to a movie (then buttering her up with popcorn before she meets a gruesome fate at the hands of a child kidnapper). With Rory out the door, Christopher and Lorelai are alone and Crusty attemps to gastlight Lorelai, probably hoping it'll get him into her pants. L: Was Sherrie with you when I called you? Crusty: She's been with me the whole time. L: You gave me no indication she was with you. C: I must have. L: No, singular pronouns all the way. C: Now I don't remember what I said. L: I do. You said, "I'll be there." Just you. C: I guess I may have said that but I wasn't making a point of saying that. Okay, I am pulling my very, very, very rare and worthless Christopher Card because he just said something not enough people say to Lorelai and it delighted me.

Bahahahaha you're such a prick but it's so true! Lorelai is such a judgemental bitch! More people should say it to her face! Bahahaha! For this one fleeting moment in time you're not so Crusty after all. I'm out of space for screen shots but I MUST KNOW WHERE RORY WENT and I will not cease or yield until we get there. Lorelai attempts to gain some clarity from Crusty on why Sherrie was acting like a fucking weirdo to her in the kitchen. Lorelai: Oh good, you weren't trying to have me killed or anything. Crusty: I was just going over my People To Kill list and you weren't on it.

Ha...ha? Lorelai, I am once again concerned by your lack of concern over certain comments that are very concering, WHERE IS RORY!!! IS SHE OK?! Christopher has a lot of F U C K I N G A U D A C I T Y to try and guilt Lorelai into feeling bad that she didn't consider Christopher's role in Rorys life while she was dating Max, um I'm sorry which one of you is the deadbat here? I tried to write "Deadbeat" but dead-bat has certain charm as well. Crusty wonders why Max was able to get closer to Rory but he should be made to feel bad that he wants Sherry to spend time with her. Doofus, it could be because Rory LIVES with Lorelai and also Max was also her English teacher that she saw 5 days a week? And you're just a dead-bat. Every other male in Rory's life including Kirk and Paul Anka have been better father figures to Rory than you have. WHERE IS RORY!!! WHAT IS SHERRY DOING WITH HER? I'm skipping past Judgy and Doofus at a Looooong and surely pointless FND Dinner scene and going straight to the next scene with Rory.

I...uhhhhh...Um. Surely Lorelai will be very concerned over this very concerning statement which should concern her. SURELY, you can put aside your little quips for just a moment when your daughter tells you she just spent the evening with a touchy feely adult stranger. Right, Dog Sweater? RIGHT?

Ugh. In addition, Sherrie confided in Rory (still a total stranger to her and a child who she took out alone hours after meeting her) a concerning amount of details about her personal life, including the details of all of her past relationships. Sherry was acting way too weird to not have some kind of ulterior motive but Rory is just not being very helpful at all in regards to what it is yet, and I want to shake her I'm so frustrated. But my eyes are bleary and my hands are cramping up and I can't continue. In part 2, I'll unpack this highly disturbing conversation some more and hopefully get to the bottom of this Sherrie Weirdness.. Goo night!

[gogandmagog]

I need your thoughts in a Gilbert who didn't meet Anne until later in life- let's say at redmond

For the sake of historical accuracy, PLEASE PICTURE ME DOING THE RASPUTIN DANCE as I read this. I love this ask, and I stan the asker. 🫡❤️

I think we’ve briefly talked about this before, in a superficial sort of way, but I’m obviously thrilled to get a little (read: okay, a lot) more detailed.

What would Gilbert be like, if he hadn’t met Anne until Redmond?

Anytime anyone takes this approach in fanfiction… I admit; I cower in a corner and try to look away. Of all the Anne multiverses, this is my least favourite. Like, easily. This notion makes my head and my heart say OW OW OW. For me, a big part of why Anne and Gilbert went in so deep was the heft and weight of the history between them. Their story is a slow burn that lasts well over a decade, these two idiots-in-love have known each other since they were 11 and ‘nearly 14’ respectively. We have all the good stuff, right? Their initial meet-cute-to-end-all-other-meet-cutes, the frenemies, the one-then-two-sided pining, the grand gestures that give way to an honest friendship (no one makes Anne laugh like Gilbert does, and he’s the SOLE fellow she feels comfortable enough with to share her honest feelings with, also see: Rollings Reliable)… it just means so much to me. When we take that away, we take away so much of what makes them… them.

But of course, you can rely on Gilbert himself to articulate these thoughts, too.

“Yes, it’s beautiful,” said Gilbert, looking steadily down into Anne’s uplifted face, “but wouldn’t it have been more beautiful still, Anne, if there had been NO separation or misunderstanding . . . if they had come hand in hand all the way through life, with no memories behind them but those which belonged to each other?” — Gilbert ‘the absolute sweetest and most poignant peach’ Blythe, Anne of Avonlea

But hey. Let’s go there anyway, because it v interesting and natural to wonder and speculate about.

To make it make sense, we must first subtract Anne from Green Gables, and Avonlea.

And 🥴… there’s a lot of collateral there. Minnie May Berry would’ve suffered the most and pays for the Anne-void discrepancy with her actual life. Lavendar Lewis? She would’ve never reconnected with Stephen Irving… and Mister Harrison would have stayed estranged from his wife. There’d be no A.V.I.S., although that seems like teeny-tiny in the wake of the rest. On the flip side, would Matthew have lived longer had the boy meant for Green Gables actually been sent? A solid maybe. And Gilbert? He would’ve never had any sense knocked (cracked, slated) into him.

Before Anne arrives in Avonlea we have a couple canon descriptions of Gilbert, thanks to Diana. We learn that he ‘torments the life’ out of the girls (and further, that they like it), and that he’s “aw’fly” handsome. We first see him pinning Ruby Gillis’ hair unto the back of her desk chair. A hot minute later, he’s all but desperate for Anne to look at him. Moreover, he thinks Anne should look at him.

“Gilbert Blythe wasn’t used to putting himself out to make a girl look at him and meeting with failure.” — Anne of Green Gables

Without Anne? Gilbert Blythe is probably a bit of cad (need that gif of Josie Pye saying, “Gilbert Blythe is rake” right here). Just kind of a regular hoe. BUT. We have a canon quote to support this, too.

‘Even in quiet Avonlea there were temptations to be met and faced. White Sands youth were a rather “fast” set, and Gilbert was popular wherever he went. But he meant to keep himself worthy of Anne’s friendship and perhaps some distant day her love; and he watched over word and thought and deed as jealously as if her clear eyes were to pass in judgment on it.’ — Anne of Avonlea

I feel in terms of just straight-up facts, we can reduce Anneless Gilbert to :

1. a smarty pants in an academic sense,

2. a smarty pants in the jokey non-academic sense

3. popular

4. cute, and aware he’s cute; that ‘teasing smile’ never really quits and he carries on winking ‘with inexpressible drollery’ just whenever he sees fit

This list looks a lot like the Gilbert we canonly know, until we arrive at…

5. egotistical on a degree level of… eh, medium-rare?

Without Anne to ego-check him; Gilberts pride remains fully intact, and what’s more, it’s grown and developed into a mature and self-assured vanity by the time he lands in Kingsport. Without Anne, by the time he’s 17, I think he’s probably walked home and/or kissed every pretty or exceptional girl in a good fifteen-mile radius. I would alsooo guess that Avonlea folks imagined he’d eventually settle down with Ruby. But what they don’t know is that he’s gone kissed every last one of the fine Gillis sisters. Even the oldest ones, Myra and Sara. I would also confidently speculate that this boy’s rather cavalier with his Romeo-ing ways, too, and that he’s inadvertently hurt some very real feelings… without even fully realising it. He just doesn’t take anything… seriously. Which Gillis sister did he kiss first? Oh, don’t ask him. He doesn’t remember.

And let’s support this guess with another semi-related and semi-justifying canon quote?

"Did I ever correspond with Ruby Gillis? I'd forgotten. Poor Ruby!” — Gilbert ‘dashing out heart hopes everywhere’ Blythe, Anne of Ingleside

But awoooo, settle down? No, Sir, not Gilbert. Gilbert wanders into Redmond a bachelor, free and clear of any responsibilities or ties, back home. ‘Excellent creatures though they are,’ there’s not been a single girl that he’s crossed paths with that has yet been able to stir his deeps… or even his shallows.

ADDITIONALLY… he walks into Redmond maybe two or three years earlier than he did in the books. Because without Anne, Gilbert has no reason to give up the Avonlea school – he saves his would-be room and board expenses by living at the Blythe homestead, and very simply and economically gets to college all the quicker for it. He does still want to be a Doctor. He has a great-uncle that’s a Doctor over in Four Winds, and Gilbert still believes…

“It’s a splendid profession,” he said enthusiastically. “A fellow has to fight something all through life . . . didn’t somebody once define man as a fighting animal? . . . and I want to fight disease and pain and ignorance . . . which are all members one of another. I want to do my share of honest, real work in the world, Anne . . . add a little to the sum of human knowledge that all the good men have been accumulating since it began. The folks who lived before me have done so much for me that I want to show my gratitude by doing something for the folks who will live after me. It seems to me that is the only way a fellow can get square with his obligations to the race.” — Gilbert ‘getting rather sentimental now’ Blythe, Anne of Avonlea

Now here’s where I fall off and digress again. I believe this is the end of educated guessing and reasonable fact-inventing about what an Anneless Gilbert probably looks like.

But for bonus points, what happens with this version of Gilbert collides with a version of Anne that never made it to Avonlea? Do they still get together? Likely. But HOW?

If someone put a gun to my head (lollll) and made me write (as previously denounced, I realise) a fanfiction about it (warning, it’s definitely gonna be giving… sensationalist and 🤌🏻 fanfictiony, but really if you’re gonna go AU… go AU; all this fully recognising that this would never be a LMM setting), here’s how I’d try to pull it off:

Anne, by the time she’s fourteen, has run away from the Hopetown Assylum. It’s nothing but hunger (Anne of Ingleside), verbal abuse, maybe worse abuse, and (despite the name) hopelessness there. Anne’s resourceful, we know she has a special knack for making things happen, and she decides to strike out on her own. But not without a plan. There’s not a lot of jobs for kids out there that also come with a safe place to lay their heads at night (though she might make up her mind to sleep under a nice obliging tree, should the need arise; “I had made up my mind that if you didn’t come for me to-night I’d go down the track to that big wild cherry-tree at the bend, and climb up into it to stay all night. I wouldn’t be a bit afraid, and it would be lovely to sleep in a wild cherry-tree all white with bloom in the moonshine, don’t you think?” ), so she, playing to her strengths and daring to dream, thinks of drama and being a stage actress. She gives a spectacularly good reading of Tennyson’s “the Lady of Shalott” to a Hopetown Theatre manager who not only pities her but also finds her wildly entertaining. Alas… he cannot offer her a job. He tells her, though, that he has contacts with W.W. Cole Circus (they toured Nova Scotia in the 1880’s, I checked this out too; I have whatever unimaginative disability it is that requires even fantasies to have bearings in reality), that W.W. Cole is always looking for cheap labour while they tour. Only!! They really just hire/have use for boys. (We can circle back to déjà vu-ish Green Gables problems here.) Anne, however, doesn’t care. She’s got a lead. She knows she can work just as hard as any boy, and means to prove it. She’s given a job (mucking elephant stalls, for starters) on a trial basis (circling Avonlea again), and does such a bang-up job that she’s kept on for a week. She becomes an instant friend with “Nova Scotian Giantess” Anna Swan. (Also a real person, from a real W.W. Cole circus circuit, pls see above regarding fantasies borne from reality. She was 7 feet, 11 inches tall, 400 pounds, and eventually married another ‘giant’ from Kentucky). Anna advocates for Anne to be kept on permanently (trying to @ Aunt Josephine almost, here). Anna, who is emphatically religious (irl when she retired, she went on to teach Sunday School at her church) and ladylike and kind, sees to Anne’s studies and upbringing when they aren’t performing. She recognises Anne’s academic abilities and leverages her own position to see that Anne is promoted, as the years carry on. Anna, duh, encourages Anne to save her wages—enough to get herself through four years at Redmond college… that she might go on to have a career outside the instability of circus acts. By the time Anne is 20, she’s far more widely recognised as Lady Cordelia Fitzgerald, and she’s a terribly accomplished trapeze artist and a very elegant acrobat (let’s throw in one minor incident where she fell off a tightrope and broke her ankle here, as we circle back to Avonlea ridgepoles), as well as especial homies with every tiger and elephant and cigar-smoking-chimp that graces the ring. She woefully wears the assigned pink tights and costume, despite often still lamenting that “red haired people should never wear pink.” She also has finally saved enough of her wages to get herself a B.A.

Her very last performance sees her signing off at W.W. Cole’s Kingsport show. Who do you bet’s in the audience? Gilbert Blythe. The football captain, Lamba Theta inductee, incumbent class president… who also, as it happens, is there escorting one Philippa Gordon.

“I saw only one really handsome fellow among them. He went away before you came. I heard his chum call him Gilbert.” — Phil Gordon, Anne of the Island

Gilbert’s taken with ‘Lady Cordelia’ at first glance. Phil’s also taken with her. The two spend the rest of the show trying to spot Lady Cordelia in her support roles of the other acts. Is that Lady Cordelia lighting the fiery rings? At any rate, for Gilbert, the deeps? Shaken, stirred, invariably earthquaked, when he and Phil get to make actual introductions at the end of the evening production, as they and the rest of the crowd walk out, stage-door style. Anne, on the other hand, is unimpressed at best.That boy was “awfully bold to wink at a strange girl” (he’s not even the first fellow to wink at her in the last thirty minutes)… all while another girl was on his arm, no less. Rather a splendid chin, though. 👀 Maybe one could say he was equally as handsome as he was bold.

“But, of course, the one I like best I can’t get. Gilbert Blythe won’t take any notice of me, except to look at me as if I were a nice little kitten he’d like to pat. Too well I know the reason. I owe you a grudge, Queen Anne.” — Philippa Gordon, Anne of the Island

That small matter aside, who else might be in attendance? I mean, Roy Gardner, of course. (This could easily substitute his, “And you are the Miss Shirley who read the Tennyson paper at the Philomathic the other evening, aren’t you?”)

Days later, and still wanting to know exactly who she was, Phil catches sight of ‘Lady Cordelia’ (wearing Redmond colors, at that!) reading epitaphs at Old St. John’s cemetery, and we slip back into canon here. Almost. Phil and Anne become fast friends, as is natural and fitting, but far less can be said for poor Gilbert, who now has a very awkward time trying to gently cast off Phil while simultaneously wanting to cosy up to her new freshette friend. After all, Anne is Gilbert’s ideal woman.

If Gilbert had been asked to describe his ideal woman the description would have answered point for point to Anne, even to those seven tiny freckles whose obnoxious presence still continued to vex her soul. Gilbert was as yet little more than a boy; but a boy has his dreams as have others, and in Gilbert’s future there was always a girl with big, limpid gray eyes, and a face as fine and delicate as a flower. — Gilbert Blythe, Anne of Avonlea

For Gilbert to finally win over that ‘Queen Anne, my Queen Anne, queen of my heart’ we’ll need to see academic rivalry, a relationship-mending grand gesture (these two starting off on the wrong foot is a canon event, and I cannot interfere), Gilbert Saves a Life or Two (lots of congenital health problems for people of Anna’s size, her hand is shooting right up as a volunteer for this incident, and by now Gilbert is nearly white coat qualified), one rejected proposal after two years of genuine friendship, Anne and Roy fully courting, and Gilbert Blythe’s to ego finally give way to the purity of his dreams and aspirations.

“He had made up his mind, also, that his future must be worthy of its goddess. She held over him the unconscious influence that every girl, whose ideals are high and pure, wields over her friends; an influence which would endure as long as she was faithful to those ideals and which she would as certainly lose if she were ever false to them. In Gilbert’s eyes Anne’s greatest charm was the fact that she never stooped to the petty practices of so many of the Avonlea girls—the small jealousies, the little deceits and rivalries, the palpable bids for favor. Anne held herself apart from all this, not consciously or of design, but simply because anything of the sort was utterly foreign to her transparent, impulsive nature, crystal clear in its motives and aspirations.” -- Anne of Avonlea

And ultimately, this seems like a good place for that old case of typhoid for Gilbert and for Anne to realise her feelings, too. It would take Gilbert a full four years and nearly dying trying, to put a ring on it. For my last trick (read: in conclusion), here's a cute lil’ attempt at more canon justification for this utter nonsense (if you just squint):

"Mother dearwums," said Jem, "can I have those old ostrich feathers in the garret to sew in the back of my pants for a tail? We're going to have a circus tomorrow and I'm to be the ostrich. And we're going to get an elephant." "Do you know that it costs six hundred dollars a year to feed an elephant?" said Gilbert solemnly. "An imaginary elephant doesn't cost anything," explained Jem patiently. Anne laughed. "We never need to be economical in our imaginations, thank heaven." — Anne of Ingleside

SO FRIENDS. ROMANS. @batrachised.

What would yooooour take on an Anneless Gilbert be? An Avonlealess Anne? I’m sooo curious.

[thatwriterchick222]

we loved once and true (arthur morgan x mary gillis)

summary: It begins on the ranch owned by Mr. Gillis, where the eighteen-year-old Arthur Morgan is hired as a ranch hand. He is caught off guard when he meets the sixteen-year-old Mary Gillis and they hit it off despite their differences. Travel through the years as Arthur and Mary's relationship begins to grow, going through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, learning time and time again that the world they live in isn't as romantic as it may seem.

a/n: hey y'all!! so this one is a lot more in depth and ambitious than my usual stuff, because i randomly became hyperfixated on arthur and mary's relationship throughout the years. i liked that the game provided us with some good insight into their relationship but i wanted to go through and create a timeline of events and add details like when and how they met, and also elaborating on arthur's relationship with eliza. while a lot of this most likely isn't cannon, and i did take some creative liberties, i tried to stay as close to the game's timeline and kept everything within the bounds of what the game does tell us. ***disclaimer: towards the end where it actually starts tying in with with the game (1899 and 1907), i used the letters and some of the dialogue provided in the game and built off of it, so all credits go to Rockstar of course.***

**the links to each chapter are available on my masterlist**

see below for an excerpt from chapter 1 (1881):

---------------------

July 12th, 1881

One day, while Arthur was repairing a fence that had been blown over in a storm the night before, he looked up to wipe the sweat from his brow and noticed someone sitting on the back steps of the large ranch house. 

It was a girl. Arthur squinted in the bright sun, adjusting his leather hat on his head. She was wearing a fancy-looking dress and had a book in her hand. 

She was awfully pretty, too.

When Arthur was done with his work, he put his tools away and made his way over to the girl on the steps. She looked up and noticed him approaching, but quickly averted her eyes and looked down at her book.

When he reached her, he cleared his throat. “Miss… Have we met?” He asked casually, taking off his hat with one hand to nod to her. She was young… perhaps Mr. Gillis’s daughter?

She looked up from her book as if pretending that she hadn’t noticed him from afar, but he knew she had. Her eyes were a deep shade of brown, her skin smooth and clean-looking. She had a beauty mark on her cheek that moved when she smiled politely at him.

“I’m Mary.” She closed her book. “Mr. Gillis’s daughter.”

Arthur placed his hat back on his head and smiled before she continued.

“You’re the new ranch hand?”

Arthur wanted to laugh at her question because it seemed obvious that he was. Had she not seen him fixing the fence just before? “Arthur. And, yes.”

“God, I hope my father hasn’t been driving you crazy.” She looked down, shaking her head. 

Arthur shifted awkwardly, placing his hands on his belt. “No… not yet.” He chuckled, lying.

“Good.” The girl looked up at him again, her expression calm. 

Arthur could feel the sun beading down on his back, and his head pound with exhaustion. “Say, could I bother you for a glass of water?”

Mary’s eyes widened, and she practically jumped up, putting her book down on the step. “Of course! You must be parched.”

Arthur smiled, amused by her enthusiasm. “Yeah. If it’s not too much trouble–”

“It’s not.” She began to climb the steps, “I’ll be right back.”

Before he could even thank her, she darted inside, the door closing behind her. Arthur chuckled to himself, pacing slightly on the stone path. She liked how she didn't look at him like some degenerate like everyone else did. She talked to him with honesty, no secret meanings behind kind words.

He looked down at her book that was sitting on the step. He was thankful Bessie and Hosea had taught him how to read because he was able to make out the title: Pride and Prejudice. 

He had never heard of it. Arthur picked up the book, flipping it over in his hand. The cover was rather ornate, dark navy with gold writing and complex designs along the spine. As he opened the cover, he realized that there was some writing inside. Notes, it looked like. Before he could read any of the neat cursive handwriting, the door swung open, and the young woman walked out with a large glass of water.

Arthur quickly closed the book, placing it back down on the step as she noticed him reading it. 

“Sorry,” Arthur said. “I was just curious about what you were readin’.”

Mary smiled, approaching the edge of the step and passing the water down to him. “It’s just a silly romance.”

Arthur took a few large gulps of water as Mary sat back down, placing the book on her lap. “Do you read?” She asked.

Arthur shook his head, wiping his lip with the back of his hand. “No, not really. I’d like to… but I don’t really…”

“I can lend you some.” She stared up at him. 

Arthur paused, wanting to accept her kindness, but also embarrassed that he couldn’t read books like that... yet, at least. He could read basic things, but books? That was a whole other story. He was a ranch hand, not a scholar.

When Mary saw his hesitance, she continued. “It’s no trouble.”

“I… Um–”

“Mary Gillis!” A loud, booming voice interrupted him, and Arthur turned to see Mr. Gillis coming around the side of the house. “There you are.” He looked at her, then at Arthur, and then back at her.

“Yes?” Mary answered, standing up. She clutched her book tightly to her body, and Arthur backed away.

“What are you doing?” The fat man approached them, looking Arthur up and down.

Mary stepped down the stairs, inserting herself between her father and Arthur. She was much shorter than both of them, Arthur felt his cheeks flush at the sight of her so close to him.

“I was reading. And then Arthur needed a glass of water, so I got him one.” Her voice was stern, yet quiet.

The man looked up at Arthur, his eyes angry. “Get back to work.”

Someday, he was going to either kill this man or rob him blind. “Alright.”

“Daddy, don’t be rude–”

The man suddenly grabbed her arm roughly, pulling her with him as he began to leave. Mary made eye contact with Arthur as she was dragged away, and Arthur's heart leapt in his chest.

check out the completed story here on ao3!

[armed-with-a-waffle-iron]

Stephanie Brown's Playlist💜 (Circa 2011)

50 songs that I think our punk rock Batgirl listened to during Bryan Q. Miller's run (also none are sung by men🖕):

Anything but Ordinary by Avril Lavigne

For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic by Paramore

Miss Nothing by The Pretty Reckless

I Don't Love You by My Chemical Romance

All the Things She Said by t.A.T.u.

She's So Gone by Lemonade Mouth

Breath (2AM) by Anna Nalick

Torn by Ednaswap

Fade Into You by Mazzy Star

Everyone's Fool by Evanescence

I Am the Only One by We Are the Fallen

Breathe by Michelle Branch

Pieces of Me by Ashlee Simpson

Better Than Revenge by Taylor Swift

How Do You Love Me Now by Hey Monday

Bridges by Courage My Love

Take Me Away by Avril Lavigne

All Around Me by Flyleaf

Wasting Away by Tonight Alive

Make a Move by Icon For Hire

Love Bites (So Do I) by Halestorm

Rumor Mill by We Are the In Crowd

Roots Before Branches by Room for Two

Coming Down by Dum Dum Girls

Bury Me Alive by We Are the Fallen

Rock N Roll by Avril Lavigne

Never Let Me Go by Florence and the Machine

I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance

Try by P!nk

Celebrity Skin by Hole

Bang Bang Bang Bang by Sohodolls

Hurricane by Bridget Mendler

Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal) by Fergie

Closer to Fine by Indigo Girls

Dreams by The Cranberries

Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill

Just a Girl by No Doubt

Alone by Heart

Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper

Seventeen by Marina and the Diamonds

My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson

Careful by Paramore

You Don't Know Me by Elizabeth Gillies

Freak Like Me by Halestorm

Bad Reputation by Joan Jett

Real Gone by Sheryl Crow

Kiss Me by Six Pence No Richer

The Chain by Ingrid Michaelson

My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne

Didn't add nearly enough Avril "I never said I was punk" Lavigne.

Steph coded albums?

Stephanie Brown was most definitely a pop-punk girlie at heart. I feel like she'd SO identify with how Avril Lavigne described herself: "I think that I'm just a rock chick. I like to rock out. I like to throw shit around. I like to go nuts. I like to lose myself on stage. I like to scream, I like to holler, I like to yell. And...I like to get my anger out."

Evidence:

Post-Crisis ended in 2011 and Steph was 19-20, so she was born in 1991 and must have listened to a lot of 2000s and late 90s stuff.

She loves wearing flannels, boyish jackets, beanies, and tucked in shirts.

She gives hella bisexual vibes.

In high school, she partied in old factories, subway tunnels and rooftops with "her crowd" (her words). Her friend Bailey seemed to be into punk rock.

But she doesn't have much of a campus life at university which has more fratty, middle class people; less were "her crowd" (she was struggling with uni expenses).

Women-led pop-punk and rock seems to explore a lot of themes that would mean something to Steph.

She was a working class latchkey kid and times were tough on her growing up.

She grew up fast; she had to care for her mother and she had a child at 16 whom she gave up for adoption.

A LOT of men around her have made her life a living hell. Her dad sucks. Her exes suck.

Don't forget, she's a talented pianist too.

And the important piece of evidence, she was into sk8er boi Tim Drake.

[not-that-kinda-bj]

[cis-female and she/her] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [BARBARA “BOBBI” JENKINS]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [ELIZABETH GILLIES]. You must be the [TWENTY-EIGHT] year old [CASHIER AT SWEET NOTHINGS BAKERY]. Word is you’re [BOLD] but can also be a bit [HEDONISTIC] and your favorite song is [BLESSED BE BY SPIRITBOX]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [AURORA BAY DRIVE]. I’m sure you’ll love it!

The Basics

Name: Barbara Mae Jenkins Nickname: Bobbi or BJ Birthday: June 15 Zodiac: Gemini Age: 27 Hometown: Sumter, SC Gender: Cis woman Pronouns: She/Her/Hers Sexual Orientation: Pansexual Romantic Orientation: Panromantic

Deeper Dive

Alignment: chaotic neutral Myers-Briggs: INTJ (the architect) Positive Traits: Affectionate, Bold, Decisive, Discreet, Flirtatious, Meticulous, Uninhibited Negative Traits: Catty, Impatient, Hedonistic, Mischievous, Oversensitive, Vain, Hobbies: solving sudoku puzzles, sketching, painting (watercolor specifically), singing, makeup, nail art

The Important Stuff

TWs: Religion, Bullying, Violence, Cheating Born to Allen and Miranda Jenkins, Bobbi grew up in a very devout Christian household. She was expected to participate in any and every church activity, serve, and be the good little Christian girl her parents were trying to shape her into being. And, at first, they’d been mostly successful. It certainly helped their cause to keep her mostly isolated and sheltered, even when she started going to public school (homeschooling wasn’t really an option as both parents were far too busy to actually put in the effort to ensure she’d study and do school. They’d tried. It just didn’t really work out. They were not pleased with the fact they had to send their precious gift from God to the cesspool that was public school. *sniffle sniffle*)

Anyways!

Bobbi had been so sheltered, she wasn’t even allowed to have friends over. Her childhood was rather… lonely. School, church, learn how to play a musical instrument or two (for the benefit of the church, of course) and art were the only ways she could entertain herself. Especially since she was an only child. The youth and the choir group she was forced to be a part of at her church weren’t really good company, either. They had, after all, values and beliefs that she could not really relate to. And while she enjoy singing, and certainly had a talent and passion for it, being forced to do it sucked the fun out of it, making her want to simply just drop it all together.

To make matters worse, she learned at a young age just how cruel children could be. With the unfortunate initials her name gave her as well as just how religious her parents were, she quickly became the target for bullying. Harmless and name calling at first, it wasn’t THAT big of a deal. Sure, it hurt a heck of a lot, but you know that saying. Stick and stones and all. She could tough it out. Words were just that. Words.

Until it wasn’t just words anymore. After it had become physical, Bobbi sort of.. lost it. She could handle the words and lewd comments thrown her way. But the moment someone laid hands on her? It only took a few times from her coming home with bruises and her clothes bloodied before  she started to stand up for herself and fight back. And fight back she did. While she didn’t win most of the fights, she fought back enough that eventually she garnered the reputation of “don’t fuck with that bitch”. 

The bullying slowed down tremendously after that. Bobbi even started making some friends. One girl in particular. They simply just clicked. It wasn’t until high school started did this girl express feelings for Bobbi, and Bobbi… She returned them with a kiss. Of course, it was difficult to pursue a romantic relationship when one was hardly allowed to do anything but school or church. Relationships are hard enough on their own without that little hiccup. The two tried to make it work as best they could, but eventually, the two decided that their relationship would be better suited to be more platonic.

Graduation rolled around, and now that Bobbi was eighteen, she had given herself a bit more new found freedom. She was an adult now, and legally, her parents couldn���t keep her from doing what she wanted. They didn’t like it, and made it very known that they didn’t like it. There were nights where their “overly rebellious child” had been locked out of the house. Bobbi had finally had enough and made the decision to move out. A bit of a rash decision, as she had no plan, no job, no where else to go. Luckily, her friend’s parents offered her a bed just until she was able to get on her feet.

Bobbi got a job and saved up for an apartment and went to cosmetology school. What would she do with this newfound freedom? It was almost overwhelming, and yet, it was also overshadowed by her parents still trying to control her life, even from afar. She eventually moved to a small town in California called Aurora Bay when she was twenty one, as far away from home as she could possibly be without actually moving out of the country. It was weird, being in a new state, knowing absolutely no one. It was.. Lonely. But, Bobbi made a few friends as well as met a really cute guy. They hit it off, clicking with one another well enough. Bobbi had asked him if he was comfortable being in an open relationship once things got a bit more serious between them, as she was poly, but he had said no. She could respect that, and the two eventually became exclusive. It was good. Great, even. She was so ecstatic when he had proposed, so happy. It wasn’t until it was a week before their wedding date did it all come crashing down, when she’d come home early and found that he was in bed with another woman. She was rightfully upset. After all, how could he do that to her?! Especially after she had asked him if they wanted to also see other people and he said no. And so she left without saying a word. A few days later, a friend she made in Aurora had decided that they’d go drinking. Because they were both “young” and “hot” and “fuck that guy” and “find someone else to help you forget about him for the night”. And it seemed to work. At least until the woman her fiance had been seeing walked into the bar. In a drunken rage, Bobbi did the only thing that made sense: she started a fight with the woman. After all, she was a home-wrecker. She was just. As. Bad.

Only.. she wasn’t. It wasn’t until later did Bobbi learn that the woman had no idea that she’d been sleeping with a taken man. A fact that still brings guilt to Bobbi to this day. She’d been arrested for the assault and was charged with misdemeanor aggravated assault. She was slapped with a fine and a six month jail sentence. She did her time, paid her dues, and has been out of jail for a few months now, having moved into her friend’s house. Just until she can pick back up where she left off. She’s even trying her hand at being in a band, even offering her talent at singing when it’s been needed.

@aurorabayaesthetic​

[ask-flip-frost]

Day 2

"Nobody warned you about me?"

"Well, no. They warned me about a scary old witch that lives here, but you're not very old. They must be talking about somebody else." the child answered simply. "May I have my doll back? Mother will be awfully cross if I've lost it..."

Flip turned the simple doll over in her hands. It was threadbare and dirty from the careless play of several seasons, but sewn with love out of the fabric of a flour sack. When it had come sailing over the fence, she had shooed a crow away from its button eyes and picked it out of the fallen leaves. She was fully sized up for the day, so that she could walk among Humans.

"I'm sure she would be. How did it come to be in my garden, though? Did you throw it, or did someone else?" she asked.

"John Miller from down the street threw it over. He said he was sack-if-iting Gilly to the witch so she wouldn't give his father a bad harvest."

"Hm. That was unkind of him, ne?" Flip shook her head.

"My name isn't 'ne'!" the child laughed.

"No, I meant... never mind. Will you give me your n-" Flip paused and decided to reword the request. "What does your mother call you?"

"Anna!" she squeaked. "What does your mother call you?"

"Aha... usually she would call me 'trouble maker', but that's not a proper name, is it?"

Flip smiled and passed the doll back over. She smoothed her blouse down and knelt to be at eye level with the little girl.

"Anna," she continued. "You mustn't let that little boy push you around. If he tries to take your doll again, you tell him that the witch didn't want it."

"Are you the witch, then? For real life?" Anna whispered.

"No. But he doesn't know that." Flip laughed. "You may call me Ms. Frostwyne. If there IS a witch in this house, she's very good at hiding. I've lived here for years and never seen her... though I do travel quite a lot, so maybe she sleeps in a cupboard until I'm gone."

"That sounds very lonely and scary." Anna frowned, then dug in her apron pocket to produce an apple, which she placed into the other's hand. "Mother says it's rude to visit someone's house for the first time without a gift. I didn't know I was going to be here, but you can have this."

For a few seconds, Flip debated. This was probably Anna's lunch; possibly all she had. When one made an offering to a Fairy, though, it was important not to snub Good Manners. Manners towards Fae were everything.

"Many thanks. Shall I walk you home?" Flip asked.

"No, I think I should go on my own. I don't want her to think I was causing trouble... She has too many worries. I don't want to give her another." Anna declined.

"I see. Mothers do tend to worry."

"Yes. She has to run the bakery all on her own until Father comes home from the war. He's been gone a very long time. I told her that I can get a job, too, but she wants me to keep to my studies. I'm seven, though, and that's big enough, isn't it?"

"...Hm. Anna, will you wait a moment just there?" Flip requested.

She swept back into the house to write out a note. To make it more official, it was stamped with a wax seal before it was passed to the little girl.

"Give that to your mother, won't you? You don't have to tell her you were here. Tell her you got it from the letterbox." Flip instructed. "Off you go."

--

"Mother, you're crying..." Anna worried.

The letter was an order for delivery. A very large one, with payment in full up front. Apparently whomever was in the house was going to be having a gathering to raise funds specifically for locating missing soldiers. Mrs. Clark had never given much stock to the idea that a witch lived in the village, but she'd always been wary for one reason or another.

Funnily enough, any time the shop seemed to dip into financial troubles, another order would come through, always from that house. Even when Anna grew up and took over. Even when Anna's daughter carried it on, and her daughter after that.

"Nobody warned you about me?" Flip laughed lightly, the spitting image of her 'ancestors'.

"It really is funny. The Frostwyne family always seems to throw parties at just the right time. My grandmother seemed to think there was magic involved because of the way it always lined up. Aha... um... so that's... how much pumpkin bread?"

[thegillyxliang]

[cisfemale, she/her] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [GILLIAN "GILLY" LIANG]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [CHASE SUI WONDERS]. You must be the [TWENTY-FIVE] year old [ATTENDANT AT THE SWEET SPOT ICE CREAM SHOP]. Word is you’re [BUBBLY] but can also be a bit [ERRATIC] and your favorite song is [RIHANNON BY FLEETWOOD MAC]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [SEABROOK QUARTERS]. I’m sure you’ll love it!

Gillian was raised by a single father, and on the road, and it shows in most aspects of her life. She sucks at cooking, never really bothered with makeup, and her music taste is firmly set in the 70's and 80's. But she can change a tire in ten minutes flat, is fiercely loyal, and has an amazing eye for photography. Her mother, Joy Liang, and her father, Darren Owens, were high school sweethearts and head over heels for each other. They were engaged when Joy became pregnant, but not wanting to get married while pregnant, they waited to get married- a regret that Gillian's father still has to this day. Joy died in childbirth due to a complication and Darren, wanting to honor his beloved's memory, decided to legally give their daughter Joy's last name.

For the first three and a half years of her life, Gilly was raised in part by her grandparents in a small house in Buffalo, Darren too wrapped up in his grief to properly care for his daughter. Until finally one day a switch was flipped inside him. Gillian was all he had of his almost-wife, and he wasn't going to miss any more of her life. He sold his house and quit his job and with the money he bought an RV- a dream he'd always had with Joy, wanting to see the country. And he was going to do it now- with his daughter.

Gillian never really went to school, instead her father bought her all the homeschooling books and taught her street smarts. One day would be math and english and science and the next would be how to do an oil change, how to play pool, and how to hotwire a car. She learned how to play sports in empty fields and empty parking lots, how to find constellations in the sky. She was given her first driving lesson at nine in some backroads of Kansas, had her first sip of a beer at eleven.

Following his dream, now their dream, Gillian and her father criss-crossed the country over the years, stopping in towns for months at a time while he got odd jobs here and there as a mechanic or a waiter or a handyman. In her teens, Gilly realized her life wasn't exactly conventional; she never went to school, she never really had friends except for kids she met in passing in parks or in libraries or the occasional Chuck E. Cheese trip. But she didn't mind. She loved her father and loved her life and honestly wouldn't trade any part of it. Why would she want cattiness of high school girls and cliques and all that drama when she had open roads and clear skies? It was an easy choice for her.

She was twenty though when they stopped in Arizona for longer than just a month. Her father met someone one day, a woman who needed her sink fixed, and what started as one date quickly became more. And for the first time in her life (and far as she could remember), Gillian found herself living in a house. And it was nice, sure, but she didn't want to stick around in it for long. Not because she was really unhappy, and definitely not because she didn't like the woman who had become her step-mother, but because Gilly wanted her own happily ever after.

With her father's blessing (and with a parting gift of a pick-up truck and a brand new camera) Gillian set off on her own at twenty-two, again driving backroads and spending nights in her truck or in motels, picking up little jobs here and there when money got tight and she didn't want to bother her parents. For about two years she made her way around, sticking to the west coast so she could head back 'home' to Arizona if needed, and while she loved the dessert roads and the starry skies, Gilly found herself quite liking the California coast. It was definitely a change, going from cacti to palm trees. LA was a bit too much though, she liked quieter, smaller, so when she overheard a cute little couple talking about their summer house in some little beach town, she found herself packing up her truck and heading south.

Gillian has been in Aurora Bay for about three months now, and while she's again getting used to a life of being settled, she's been enjoying it. She still gets to see plenty of stars here, and sands of a different kind, and when she's not taking pictures she's working at the ice cream shop in town, finding it a fun way to pass the time.

extras:

birthday - march 12

full name - gillian joy liang-(owens)

nicknames - gil, gilly, gillybean

she was 100% named after gillian anderson

loves the x files because of above (#the truth is out there). she also loves and twilight zone and classic horror films

her music taste is 100000% 70's/80's like fleetwood mac, joni mitchell, the eagles, heart, pink floyd, the beatles

@aurorabayaesthetic

[butterflies-dragons]

I don't think antis know about meaning of 'willowy'. When Jon said that Val is a warrior princess not a willowy creature brushing her hair, willowy is not an insult. It means tall, slender and graceful. And Sansa qualifies as willowy brushing her and like knights. It seems like Jon throwing shade on Sansa, but why? Considering he liked her brushing Lady hair and he himself wanted to be knight. Why he subtly remember Sansa while differentiating her with Val?

This is what I wrote about Val and the willowy creature line a while ago:

Val

Repeat after me: Val is not a warrior woman. Again: Val is not a warrior woman.  One more time: Val is not a warrior woman. If you don’t believe me, then read this:

However, in my own defense, I should note that Dalla was not a “warrior woman” per se. She was from a warrior culture, yes; one that gave women the right, but not the obligation, to be fighters. Ygritte was a warrior woman, as was (most conspicuously) the fearsome Harma Dogshead. Dalla and Val were not.

[Source]

But you may say, ¿What about the “the warrior princess and the willowy creature that only brushes her hair” quote?

Well, as GRRM has stated many times, all his POVS are “Unreliable Narrators”.  Being from a “warrior culture” doesn’t make you automatically a “warrior woman”.  But here is Jon Snow “deciding” that Val was a “warrior princess”. Once again, the contrast, the dichotomy in one single person: ¿A warrior like Arya, a princess like Sansa?  Not that Arya has ever fought in a war, but you get my point.  And Sansa was created following the princess archetype.

I will show you one of my favorite Jon’s passages that will serve us to read “the warrior princess and the willowy creature that only brushes her hair” line with a better and more revealing light:

I call this passage the “Jon -It’s nothing special- Snow”.  Or as we say in Spanish when we can’t get what we really want: “Al cabo que ni quería”, that can be translated as “I didn’t even want it anyway”.  Let’s see:

"Oh, I learn things everywhere I go.” The little man gestured up at the Wall with a gnarled black walking stick. “As I was saying … why is it that when one man builds a wall, the next man immediately needs to know what’s on the other side?” He cocked his head and looked at Jon with his curious mismatched eyes. “You do want to know what’s on the other side, don’t you?”

“It’s nothing special,” Jon said. He wanted to ride with Benjen Stark on his rangings, deep into the mysteries of the haunted forest, wanted to fight Mance Rayder’s wildlings and ward the realm against the Others, but it was better not to speak of the things you wanted. “The rangers say it’s just woods and mountains and frozen lakes, with lots of snow and ice.”

—A Game of Thrones - Jon III

I mean… COME ON!  This is one of the most telling passages to know, to really know Jon’s true nature, and it’s very, very similar to the quote about “the warrior princess and the willowy creature that only brushes her hair”:

They are all convinced she is a princess. Val looked the part and rode as if she had been born on horseback. A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon XI

“Some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.”  Nah, it’s nothing special, I didn’t even want it anyway, not for me, no.

“It’s nothing special,” Jon said. He wanted to ride with Benjen Stark on his rangings, deep into the mysteries of the haunted forest, wanted to fight Mance Rayder’s wildlings and ward the realm against the Others, but it was better not to speak of the things you wanted. “The rangers say it’s just woods and mountains and frozen lakes, with lots of snow and ice.”

Do I have to say more???

Actually, yes, I have.

Jon Snow does really want a lady.  Jon Snow does really want to be a knight and rescue a maiden.  Jon Snow does really want a lady to love and be loved back by her.  Here some evidence:

Jon Snow wished that his mother were a highborn lady: “Not my mother, Jon thought stubbornly. He knew nothing of his mother; Eddard Stark would not talk of her. Yet he dreamed of her at times, so often that he could almost see her face. In his dreams, she was beautiful, and highborn, and her eyes were kind.”

Jon Snow wanted to be a hero like the Prince Aemon Dragonknight.  The same Prince Aemon that jousted in a tourney, won it, and crowned his sister and lady love “Queen of Love and Beauty”, something that is straight out from the courtly love book: “The Dragonknight once won a tourney as the Knight of Tears, so he could name his sister the queen of love and beauty in place of the king’s mistress”.

Jon Snow tried to comfort Gilly with courtesy: “Gilly, he called me. For the gillyflower.”  “That’s pretty.” He remembered Sansa telling him once that he should say that whenever a lady told him her name. He could not help the girl, but perhaps the courtesy would please her”.

Jon Snow put Ghost between Ygritte and him and remembers that knights put their swords between their ladies and themselves, something that is straight out from the courtly love book: “After that he had taken to using Ghost to keep her away. Old Nan used to tell stories about knights and their ladies who would sleep in a single bed with a blade between them for honor’s sake, but he thought this must be the first time where a direwolf took the place of the sword”.

Jon Snow imagined romancing Ygritte as if she were a lady: “If I could show her Winterfell … give her a flower from the glass gardens, feast her in the Great Hall, and show her the stone kings on their thrones. We could bathe in the hot pools, and love beneath the heart tree while the old gods watched over us”.

Jon Snow wished for a domestic life in Winterfell, with his wife and children: I would need to steal her if I wanted her love, but she might give me children. I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. […] I could name him Robb. Val would want to keep her sister’s son, but we could foster him at Winterfell, and Gilly’s boy as well. […] Mance’s son and Craster’s would grow up brothers, as I once did with Robb. He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily”.

Jon is a romantic that called his mare “sweet lady”.

Jon Snow closer friends in the Night’s Watch are Samwell Tarly and satin, they are literally male!Sansas.

Jon remembers fondly Sansa’s more feminine and ladylike traits: her romantic nature, her courtesies, her singing.

It’s also worth to mention that, despite Val’s beauty and physical attractiveness, Jon Snow, once again, appreciates her being maternal and singing to Gilly’s son, but was turned off by Val saying she would kill Princess Shireen:

“I have heard you singing to him.”

“I was singing to myself. Am I to blame if he listens?” A faint smile brushed her lips. “It makes him laugh. Oh, very well. He is a sweet little monster.”

“Monster?”

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon VIII

Once outside and well away from the queen’s men, Val gave vent to her wroth. “You lied about her beard. That one has more hair on her chin than I have between my legs. And the daughter … her face …”

“Greyscale.”

“The grey death is what we call it.”

“It is not always mortal in children.”

“North of the Wall it is. Hemlock is a sure cure, but a pillow or a blade will work as well. If I had given birth to that poor child, I would have given her the gift of mercy long ago.”

This was a Val that Jon had never seen before. “Princess Shireen is the queen’s only child.”

“I pity both of them. The child is not clean.”

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon XI

Wait a minute! Val was “singing to herself” like Jon’s memory of Sansa “singing to herself” while brushing out Lady’s coat???

Where did Jon get this idea of “some willowy creature that only brushes her hair” from???  It could be from his half sister Sansa, a literal princess, now trapped in a tower, that always brushed her hair and even brushed out her direwolf’s fur???

“She had brushed out her long auburn hair until it shone” —Sansa

“Her thick auburn hair had been brushed until it shone.” —Eddard

I often sent away her maid so I could brush her hair myself. —Catelyn

He thought […] Of Sansa, brushing out Lady’s coat and singing to herself. —Jon

And I also suspect that when Jon said this about Val:

Then Ghost emerged from between two trees, with Val beside him.

They look as though they belong together. Val was clad all in white; white woolen breeches tucked into high boots of bleached white leather, white bearskin cloak pinned at the shoulder with a carved weirwood face, white tunic with bone fastenings. Her breath was white as well … but her eyes were blue, her long braid the color of dark honey, her cheeks flushed red from the cold. It had been a long while since Jon Snow had seen a sight so lovely.

—A Dance with Dragons - Jon XI

He was remembering another pretty girl, princess like, next to a direwolf, looking as though they belong together.

A young beautiful girl, that everyone considers a princess, next to a direwolf???

Val is a beautiful young woman, Sansa is a beautiful young maiden.

Val has long blonde hair the color of dark honey which she wears in a braid. Val actually take care of her hair, enough to braid it, like Sansa that always brushes it. And if you google “dark honey” hair color you will find a variety of reddish brown (auburn) and reddish blonde hair colors.

Val has high sharp cheekbones, like Sansa.

Val’s eyes are pale grey or blue.  Again the grey/blue eyes pattern…

Val is slender with a full bosom, like Sansa.

So?

Then Ghost emerged from between two trees, with Val beside him. […] It had been a long while since Jon Snow had seen a sight so lovely.

Of Sansa, brushing out Lady’s coat and singing to herself.

Think about it!

* * *

For anyone interested, this is an excerpt from this post.

[hihellogoodbyebruh]

Is She the Reason? - Part 3

Parts: 1, 2

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black!Reader, Nestor Oceteva x Black!Reader

Summary: Angel, Nestor. Nestor, Angel. Girl....what the hell you gon’ do now?

Warning(s): Aaaangst, a fluffly bit, a confrontation, but aaaaaangst. This is the angst series :)

Word count: 2,508

AN: I uh...I did a thing. After this there is only one part of this series left. Comments, questions, and concerns are always welcomed. Okay, bye. Love y’all xo

TAGLIST:   @holland23567 @trulysuccubus @pearlkitten33

You were at the salon getting yourself a downright sickening blowout. You could feel how silky the hair was and you were happy for a change. You didn’t wanna do something so drastic like chopping your hair, but you needed something new. 

“You finessed the hell out of my hair. Thank you so much Shonda.” You smiled at your longtime hair stylist.

“You know I got you, girl.” Shonda smiled back, still running her fingers through the hair and slinging it over your shoulder. She noticed you looking at your phone, “You got a hot date with that fine ass Angel?”

You felt a tug on your heart at the mention of him. “Nope. We aint together anymore and no I don’t want to talk about it.” You got up out of the seat and placed the money she owed plus a tip on the vanity.

“Oh, uh okay. I’ll see you next time!” Shonda called out to you as you practically ran out of the salon to avoid any further questions about you and Angel.

You breathed a sigh of relief at being outside and away from the possible interrogation that would have happened if you stayed there longer. You were ready to casually talk about your breakup with others. You were not over it. 

The familiar smell of delicious Mexican food wafted through your nostrils as you reached your lunch destination for the day. You walked in and saw who you were looking for already at a table.

“Hey Nes.” You greeted the man with a smile that turned into a giggle as he stood up from his seat and pulled you in a big hug, lifting your feet off the ground a little. “Put me down.”

“I’m just happy to see you, mi cielo.” Nestor murmured, letting your feet drop back down to the floor and leading to the table.

“Oh don’t start sweet talking me.” You laughed, taking a seat.

“Ain’t no one sweet talking you. I can if you’d like me too. I see you with the straight silky locs. You trying to impress me?” He teasingly asked as he sat across from you.

“Boy, please.” You scoffed, taking a look at the menu.

“Good. Cause I’m already impressed by you.” He replied in such an earnest tone, it caused her to stop looking at her menu to meet his eyes.

The look in his eyes made her pause. He was staring at you so intently that you were relieved when the server came to get their orders. You had no idea what to say to him. Nestor really was a nice guy. He was fine, secure, and had yet to disappoint you. You’d been relying on him a lot over these last few weeks. He’d kept you company, wiped your tears, and made you laugh. He showed up every time he said he would, but what did that mean? 

It wasn’t until after you two enjoyed a hilarious and delicious lunch together that you felt ready to broach the subject. You two were standing in front of his car saying your goodbyes.

“You’re a great friend and I appreciate you so much. You know that, right Nes?” You asked him, fiddling with the collar of his shirt.

“Of course, cielo.” He responded, his hands on your hips. 

He pulled you in for a hug and you hugged him tight. When you two pulled back, he leaned forward as if to kiss you and you buried your face in his chest. Nestor instead held you tightly again and placed several kisses on your exposed neck. The kisses make you shiver and you pull away again to look at him.

“Nestor..” You begin but get interrupted by his phone going off.

He checked his phone and pulled further away from you. “It’s Miguel. I gotta go, but call me later okay?” He placed a kiss on your forehead and then he was hopping in his car and speeding away to meet Miguel wherever.

You just stood in the same spot he left you, staring at the tail lights of his car until you can’t see them anymore.

xxxxxxxx

The “alliance” between the Mayans and the Galindo Cartel was a precarious situation from the very beginning. Things had grown more tense with the dissolution of Y/N’s relationship with Angel and her blossoming friendship with Nestor. Meetings between the gangs had an added uneasiness with Angel glaring at Nestor and Miguel’s bodyguard not giving him any energy back.

It had been two weeks since the diner and Angel could not get those images out of his head. Angel was waiting for the right opportunity to address Nestor. Where the fuck does Nestor get off having his hands all on you? Yes, Angel knew you were mad at him, but that doesn’t mean he was ready to see you with anyone else especially someone associated with fucking Galindo. He wanted him to stay away from you. 

The opportunity presented itself when Miguel left the meeting with his other guards, leaving Nestor behind to complete a different task. The Mayans had all turned to head back into the clubhouse but Angel stayed behind and walked up on Nestor.

“Aye!” Angel barked out at Nestor’s retreating form as he walked up on him. “What are you doing with Y/N? I saw y’all the other day.”

Nestor turned around and stared at him for a minute before saying, “What the fuck did you say to me?”

“You heard me. Why are you sniffing around her? She’s not gonna be with you. She still loves me.”

“Oh she told you that? Then why aren’t y’all still together huh? Cause y’all aint together right now right? Right?” Nestor asked, staring Angel down. Angelcito would be even more upset to learn Nestor just came from lunch with you, but he wasn’t about to gloat out of respect for you.

“Yeah but-”

“And whose fault is that?”

Angel was silent. He knew it was his fault. He didn’t need to be reminded by the likes of Nestor. As the man went on, Angel found himself getting angrier and angrier. His hands balling into fists.

“So let me get this straight: you fuck some random bitch so Y/N dumps you and now you in my face because you fucked up and lost her?” Nestor stared at Angel and chuckled. How pathetic could he be? The audacity of the Mayan to tell him anything was laughable. “Own your shit, homes. Don’t worry about what I’m doing.”

Angel couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed Nestor by the shirt and pushed him up against the car. “Stay the fuck away from her.” He barked, voice harsh and loud.

The commotion must have gotten someone’s attention because the Mayans poured out of the clubhouse, pulling Angel off Nestor who only laughed and straightened his shirt.

Bishop tried to apologize for Angel but Nestor waved him off, still laughing. “I’ll give him that one. We can chalk it up to emotional distress at his recent loss.” He goes from speaking to Bishop to looking Angel dead in the eyes. “But if you put your hands on me again I’ll blow your brains out and leave your mangled body at your pop’s front door, comprende?”

Nestor was in his car and gone without another word. Angel just watched him go, before turning to look at EZ. EZ could tell from the look on his face that he was planning something and he just hoped it did not backfire and make things even worse.

xxxxxxxx

“Open the fucking door!” You screamed, banging your fist against the locked office door. You couldn’t believe you had gotten played like this. “Whoever is on the other side: EZ, Coco, Gilly, or even Letty when I get out of here I'm gonna hurt you.” You threatened, but the door remained closed.

You had received a text from Chucky asking you to stop by the garage to look over some contracts with him. You had the day off so it was no big deal. When you walked in the office you were not greeted by Chucky but instead a pensive Angel. Obviously this had been a set up. 

“It’s not getting opened until I say the magic word.” Angel explained from the chair he had yet to move from. He was completely relaxed and his sentence just confirmed what you already knew: he set this whole thing up.

“Oh so it’s you I should hurt, then?” You turned around from the door and crossed your arms as you stared at him. “Why would you do this?”

“I needed to see you.”

You scoffed. “Angel tell them to open this door right now.”

“No.”

“No?” You angrily walked to the desk and swiped a paper weight off the desk that you chucked at his chest, hitting him square on the collarbone.

“Ow! Shit.” He groaned, rubbing where the weight hit him. 

“I will throw everything on this desk at you. Let me out.” You threatened once again and he stood up from the seat. He walked around the desk and every step he took, you took one backwards.

He was approaching but you wanted to keep some space between the two of you. It wasn’t until you backed into the door that you realized he was just getting you away from the potential weapons on the desk.

“Okay fine.” You threw your hands up in defeat. “Fine. Let’s talk Angel. What would you like to discuss?”

“Your hair looks nice. You’ve never worn it like that before. You look beautiful.” He complimented.

“Thanks.” You were wound up so tight as you tried to keep your emotions in check.

“I bet Nestor likes it too.”

You narrowed your eyes at the mention of Nestor. “Why are you bringing him up?”

“Just heard you two have been hanging out.” He tried to nonchalantly mention, but you saw right through that.

“I know you’re not jealous. Please fuck right off with that. If you want to talk about Nestor, this conversation ends now.” You were not about to get into a discussion about Nestor with Angel. It wasn’t his business and also you weren’t even sure what was going on. The last time you saw him was at lunch earlier in the week.

Angel was silent for a moment as he debated with himself. “Do you miss me? Cause I miss you.” He asked, staring at you.

“No.” You tried to keep a bored look on your face.

“You really don’t miss me at all, querida? You don’t miss us?” He implored, taking a step closer to you.

It was quiet as you two simply stared at each other. He was waiting for an answer and you were fighting with yourself to keep quiet.

“Of course I miss you, you selfish asshole!” You finally exploded. You missed him every damn day. The situation was hard enough but he made it worse by just not leaving you alone. “Doesn’t mean I want or need to be with you. You don’t understand that I can’t trust you Angel. I refuse to torture myself by being with you and worrying what you’re doing every second of the day.”

“I want to earn your trust back. You tell me what you want me to do and that’s what I’ll do. Starting right now. You want me on my knees? What’s that Temptations song….I aint too proud to beg right? Call me David Ruffin.” Tears filled your eyes as you listened to him. This was the Angel you fell in love with. All earnest good intentions with a side of sarcastic asshole that you found irresistible. “Give me something, Y/N. We can’t just end like this. I can’t accept this. I know it’s my fault, but I can’t let you go.”

“You have to! I just..I can’t Angel. You hurt me so fucking much. I can’t go back. I won’t let you do it again. I won’t.” You began shaking your head as the tears poured down your cheeks. He shattered your heart with his actions and selfishness. You would never put yourself in that position again. And yet, your traitorous heart still yearned for him.

Angel had tears in his eyes as he watched you break down. He took your face in his hands and wiped your tears. “Oh, querida. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” He repeated apologies and sweet nothings over and over again as he held you close.

After crying for a moment, you raised your head and looked up at Angel. “Sorry just isn’t enough.”

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to make it better. So he did the only thing he could do. The thing he’s been wanting to do for almost two months and he kissed you firmly on the lips.

You froze at first before gripping his kutte tightly as he pinned you to the door. The kiss was sloppy, passionate, and everything you missed about being with you. He kissed you like a man who knew exactly what you liked and he did. You both pushed all of your pent up feelings into that kiss.

He got your legs spread and wrapped around his waist as he pushed you even harder into the wall. You grinded against him as you two continued to explore each other’s mouths.

The pounding on the door broke you two out of the haze of emotionality and lust you’d lost your head in.

“Angel! Get out here! Now.” EZ called out through the door. There was an undercurrent to his voice that made you pause. What was going on?

Angel was content to continue kissing you, but you pushed him away and let your legs hit the floor again. You fixed your hair and wouldn’t look him in the eyes. 

“Y/N…” Angel began, but you ignored him as you opened the now unlocked door.

When you stepped out Angel was right behind you and he bumped into your back as you froze, after seeing who was on the other side of the door.

EZ was the first face you saw and then you noticed Coco towards the back of the room. Behind EZ stood a strange young guy next to a familiar face you hadn’t seen in awhile.

Adelita

You hadn’t seen her since that fateful day. Your blood turned to ice as you looked at her now. Did she know Angel had a woman when they began their affair? Would it have made a difference had she known? You give her a once over, trying to figure out what made her so damn special. What was so good about her that he’d break his promises to you? What made her better than you?

It wasn’t until the other woman shifted in her stance that you noticed the hand she had placed over her stomach….over a slight bump that was only just becoming visible.

You stopped breathing.

Adelita was pregnant.

[shelby-love]

SIRIUS BLACK

A little Bit of Amortentia

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warning(s): none this is a certified fluff piece (2.3K words)

Author’s note: I had so much fun writing this! Harry Potter is such a great world, and I’d love to explore more of it. Requests for HP are OPEN!!

P.S for everyone wondering Remus is actually my favorite out of the Marauders

~

"Well I still think you're missing out," Lilly stated after a long rant and because of how sweet she was, she had decided to stop her mouth right at that sentence.

You only laughed lightly, pushing through the student body with Lily Evans hot on your robe. "Sneaking out to Hogsmeade is something I'm fine with missing out on."

She shook her head, determination settling hard in her brow. "That's beside the point."

"Then what is the point?" You asked, hugging your textbook closer to your chest. When you noticed that the auburn-haired girl was no longer by your side you bunched your brows together and turned around. "Lily? Lily, what are you doing?"

Her eyes were wide, bright green eyes blazing at you. "You seriously have no idea?"

You had idea of course. So much so that you felt embarrassed by the mere thought of it…

Him.

"Come Lily. We're late for Potions."

She shook her head and followed you reluctantly, only because she knew that your professor would surely be disappointed if you two showed up late. Lily and you were after all, Horace Slughorn's favorite students.

"This isn't over," She mumbled.

Perhaps for her it wasn't. Lily Evans tended to see the best in all people. It was the good in her that made her give in to James Potter little after Christmas this year after hating him her entire schooling at Hogwarts.

"He matured a lot," she would tell you, and while that might have been true for James it surely wasn't true for the boy you laid your desires upon.

Sirius Black.

Either he was purposely ignoring you, or he really was a dimwit.

***

"Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the world. It is distinctive for its mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rises from the potion in spirals." Horace Slughorn informed, keeping a safe distance from the steaming love potion. The rest of the girls in the class not so much. Each of them neared the potion little by little with a boy in mind. Lily and you both shared the same thoughts as those love-obsessed girls – only you didn't show it. Despite having boys in mind, Lily and you stood put.

"Lily, dear, how about you come here and tell us what you smell?"

You hard-pressed your shoulder against hers as she smiled shyly, obvious to what she was going to smell. James Potter stood at the other end of the assembly of students, looking at his lovely girlfriend with pure adornment.

For a second, they had you wondering if you could ever find love like that.

"Do you know why I asked Lily to tell us what she smells?" Horace asked, sending you a look that had a simple meaning.

"Because the potion is supposed to smell differently to each of us, according to what attracts us…" You answered quickly, just like he wanted you to.

"Marvelous Y/N. Good job," Slughorn praised you whilst ushering Lily to tell you all what she smelt. From the corner of your eye you managed to catch James' sly smirk as his eyes darted from you, to his very uninterested friend.

Sirius Black.

You swallowed, focusing your eyes on your best friend that stood in front of the potion, holding her hair so it doesn’t fall into the potion with a face as red as a tomato. "Vanilla, freshly cut oranges and –"

He cheeks flamed even more if that was even possible. She dashed away from the love potion and stood back next to you without revealing the third thing, although everyone knew already. James was grinning like an idiot. "What was the third smell?"

She shyly turned her mouth to your ear, "James' quidditch uniform."

You laughed out loud before Lily shushed you down frantically.

It was all fun and games until Horace called out for you, "Y/N would you mind telling us what you smell? Don't be shy now, come."  

A part of you wanted to say "Yes, professor I would mind." but the other more rational, and smarter part of you had tied your hands behind your back in defeat. Lily gave you a push and sooner than later you found yourself standing over the love potion.

"I-I smell…" You inhaled slowly, the potion's fumes filling you up. Several different scents found their way into your nostrils, making you have a hard time deciphering them because of the sensual overdrive they gave you. "Roses…the smell of sea and-"

"Oh no," you mumbled, barely audible for everyone but yourself.

"Was there something you wanted to say dear?" Horace asked, having heard your mumbling barely.

"No…I um, smell petrichor," You stated somewhat awkwardly but very, very quickly. "You know, um, when the r-rain hits the ground…"

"Ah, yes," realization dawned upon your professor. "A lovely smell. A lovely smell indeed. Very well, miss Y/LN thank you. You may go back to your place."

Lily Evans waited for you, beaming, "Mind telling me what the third smell was?"

"Shut it Lily."

"But I told you mine!"

***

You glanced at the sign above the pink looking door and sighed. Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, it said. You had known about this small tea shop that was located on a side road off the High Street in Hogsmeade Village even before you had arrived at Hogwarts. A boy from Hufflepuff had taken you there on a date once, sometime during your fifth year. It wasn't an especially pleasant memory, being cramped and surrounded by snogging couples at only 15 with a boy you didn't particularly like that way. Nevertheless, it had happened, and there was nothing you could do about the lingering memory.

The overall cute place was owned by Madam Puddifoot; the same woman who dearly welcomed you in the moment you stepped through the door.

You hoped to spot Lily there, after all that's why you were there. When the front of your little notebook changed under the influence of the Protean charm, you knew it was Lily instantly. While the Marauders had their own tricks, maps and such, Lily and you had thought of something far more practical. It would do you good, the charm, as it was expected to be known by every student that wants to take the N.E.W.T.

A win-win situation that was.

But although Lily Evans was nowhere to be seen, you still decided to sit down, trusting her not to pull any tricks on you. Save for the snowy weather, your day has been good so far and you didn’t want anyone to disrupt it.

Cautiously, you sat down and leaned against the plush sofa, discarding your scarf and coat along the way.

"What can I get ya lovely?" A sweet woman asked, hearts practically swimming within her irises. A pale pink apron with daisies was secured tightly around her waist, dolling her up prettily.

"I actually won't be staying, I'm waiting for-" You started, although you were sure in the fact you were going to have to buy gilly water at the very least. Even waiting comes at a price here.

But that didn't seem to be the case as the bells jingle and a dark figure waltzes through. The ladies' man, a member of the Marauders that had the most beautiful features pursued by impeccable dark hair and grey eyes walked in without a care in the world. Sirius didn't know it, but he had your toes curling every time.

You immidiately glanced around the cute shop, seeing nothing but loving couples.

No lone girl in the shop save for you.

Realization struck you in the gut and you swallowed, wanting now more than ever to disappear into a hole…or turn into a little bird and fly away.

His eyes swept across the stuffed shop, getting attention of several girls who were obviously there on a date. Boys exchanged distasteful glances between themselves, sensing Sirius to be an equal competitor that could easily give them a run for their money. "Y/N?"

You dared to say his voice softened upon seeing you. "Sirius."

Sirius' smile widened teasingly. It looked like the smile he would give his best of friends.

But you didn't want that. Not that you would tell him that.

He glanced around the shop once again before slipping into the free chair opposite of you. Without a care in the world, he stripped his snowy coat off his shoulders, his muscles tensing under the movements.

You swallowed.

"I'll have some butterbeer thank you," Sirius said, pulling out a generous amount of sickles for the waiting waitress you forgot was even standing there.

"And the lovely lady?" She mused, giving you a wink.

"Pumkin juice." You choke out.

Like a real gentleman, Sirius halted your attempt to pay for your drink with a raised hand and a wink.

Why does everyone keep winking?

You shook your head at the rogue thought.

"4 sickles young lad."

Sirius handed her the coins and she disappeared, leaving a trail of literal hearts whisking underneath her steps. "Talk about exaggeration."

Sirius' low chuckle at your random comment had you flustered immediately.

"So –" You both voiced at the same time.

"No, you first." You said quickly, brushing some misplaced strands of hair out of the way.

"You can go fi-"

You gave Serius the look you would usually give Remus and James many times on many different occasions; the one that said not to argue with you. Only this time it felt like a completely different look. It intrigued the stubborn boy even more; dragging him deeper into the pit of feelings he had for you.

"Fine," he said, casually twining his fingers atop the table. "I have a question."

"Um…o-kay."

He smiled at your nervousness and decided at that moment to just blurt out the question that's been nagging him since it happened. "What did you smell during potions yesterday?"

"Y-you mean when I smelled the Amortentia?" The strongest love potion ever created that had the ability to reveal ones biggest attractions with a simple sniff. “That potion?”

"Mhmm," he said. "If you tell me what you smelled, I'll tell you what I smelled."

"You must be bloody joking," You exclaimed. Almost everyone knew that you smelled someone. Not just the rain and roses. Someone.

Unlike with Lily, they had no idea who it was.

No one knew save for Lily who probably told James.

Who probably told Remus?

Remus, Peter…

Sirius.

A million thoughts raced through your head. What at first was a blind date will turn out to be the biggest prank the Marauders ever pulled on someone. The biggest prank in Marauders history. You were sure of it.

"I-I should go," you muttered, grabbing your bag and coat in a haste to get out.

Sirius' eyes went wide in alarm, "What are you doing, Y/N? Where are you going?"

"Away from you," You said sternly. "I don't plan on being your new plaything so just leave me alone."

"Woah, woah, woah. Why would you think that?" He asked with what looked like genuine confusion as he held your hands in a vise grip to stop you from leaving.

"B-because…" Words stopped coming once you realized.

Telling him the reason behind it would ruin everything.

"Because you like me?"

You stared at him in shock, eyes widened to the size of a quidditch snitch. No, a bludger. "I don't know what to say to that."

Sirius outright laughed at you and your attempt to conceal what you both already knew, "Look…"

You swallowed.

"I like you too Y/N."

"I know, so let's just forget this ever happen- Wait what did you just say?"

The two of you were, unbeknownst to you in that moment, holding hands atop the cute table, looking like a real couple at that moment to anyone who walked into the shop.

"I like you," He repeated slowly, more audibly for you to comprehend this time. "I know I've been a…"

"Bully," You butted in quickly.

"No I wasn't!"

"Severus begs to differ," You reminded.

"Whatever," Sirius brushed you off, tightening his hold on your two hands. Warmth seemed to come off him in waves, making it all the more comfortable to be in his hold. No wonder girls fawned around him. "What I'm trying to say is – the four of us were idiots, and you were the girl I thought I didn't deserve."

You almost melted.

"So, when I saw what James has with Lily," He confessed. "I wanted that…but with you."

"So why didn't you come up to me?"

"Thought you'd reject me," He said quickly.

"True."

The way he looked at you had you tumbling down your brain for word, "B-but you've changed… And I like you too Sirius."

"I'd like to take you out somewhere else," Sirius proposed. "If you'd have me."

"Of course," You smiled, for the first time freely. "I'd like that very much."

Never in a million years would you have guessed this would be happening; Sirius standing behind you, helping you with your coat…

And holding your hand on the way out.

"You still didn't tell me."

“Tell you what?”

"What you smelled in the Amortentia."

The question didn't sound so attacking as it did 10 minutes ago, and you felt like you could answer it with more ease. "You really want to know?"

"Yes, I would like that very much."

"Fine," You stopped somewhere in the middle of the square, feeling quite brave and bold. "You."

He didn't look surprised, maybe relieved more than surprised. The relief shone in his grey eyes, you could see it. His long black hair blew against the wind that swept through Hogsmeade in a wildly matter. Sirius seemed closer now more than ever as he gazed into your eyes. Whilst you probably looked crazy in the cold wind, the weather only seemed to compliment the once a big troublemaker before you.

"Good."

You creased your brows, "You didn't tell me what you smelled."

Sirius chuckled, "You of course."

Pleased with his answer, you let him do something you've been dreaming about for quite some time.

He kissed you.

The kiss felt electrical, making your body go haywire. Sparks, as cliché as they sound, they were there, present from the moment the kiss started and until it ended. Sirius had his warm hand against your cold cheek, bringing you closer than ever before.

You hadn't shared this with any other boy save for the one you were with right now.

You didn't have what Lily and James did because their love was theirs and theirs only.

Sirius and you will build a love of your own. Something characteristic to you two only. Here in Hogsmeade, or wherever in the world. A long life was ahead of you and you, now more than ever, felt like you could do anything.

Even pass the N.E.W.T.

~

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MASTERLIST

[justahopelessssromantic]

Barbecue

Imagine Request. Reader is new to the town and makes friends with Felipe who invites her to a barbecue being held t the club. She is weary but he insists saying that his two sons will also be there. The day of the barbecue arrives and they both head there together. She notices a lot of good looking bikers. The men all admire her as Filipe introduces her to everyone. They all try and seduce the pretty new girl much to Felipe's delight.

A/N: Thank you so much for the request nonnie! I'm sorry this took so long! I hope you enjoy 🥰 I really love your idea!

Word Count: 1322

*gif not mine*

Felipe handed over your package waving off your money for your steaks. "Please, this ones on me." Felipe smiled kindly at you. 

"You know if you keep giving away things for free you are going to go out of business." You pointed out putting your wallet away anyways. You knew there was no use in arguing with the older man. You'd find some way to pay him back. "If you won't let me pay for my meat then you at least have to let me cook for you one of these days." 

Your friendship with Felipe may seem odd to any onlookers but he was the first person you met and befriended after moving to Santo Padre for your new job just a few weeks ago. Unpacking and fixing up your new place had become more of a chore than you were expecting so you hadn't gotten around to meeting really any other residents of the charming small town. You were rather shy and not great at making friends so staying in and keeping to yourself mostly wasn't much of a problem. 

Felipe knew you didn't have any other friends besides him and your best friend back home. You were such a lovely girl he only wanted to help you out in any way that he could. "Alright I'll let you cook for me one of these days." You both knew he hadn't had a really good home cooked meal since his wife passed. 

"Great!" You beamed up at him excited to show off your skill in the kitchen. "How about Friday night?" 

Felipe nodded. "Sounds good. Oh and one more thing." He caught you just before you were about to leave. "There’s a barbecue on Saturday at the Mayans clubhouse. I would love it if you would come." 

You chewed on your bottom lip thinking of how you could turn him down. You weighed all the excuses in your mind. "I don't really know Felipe, I've got lots to do at home. I just don't know that I could." You tried to let him done gently but he was stubborn and saw right through you. 

"Come on you can take one day off," he insisted, "Just come with me for a little while. Do an old man a favor." He chuckled. Felipe took your hand in his, hoping to ease your nervousness. "My two sons will be there. I would love for you to meet them. Just come for a little while. If you hate it and want to leave I will take you home." 

"Fine, but I'm holding you to that." You teased. "I'll see you Friday, 8 o'clock." If he was going to insist on you going to this barbecue then you were going to hold him to your dinner plans. 

The day of the barbecue came and needless to say you were nervous. Your dinner with Felipe the night before helped a little as he told you about the club, the mayans, and mostly his two sons. 

You stepped out of Felipe's truck shutting the door behind you. You straightened your outfit out, smoothing out any wrinkles from the drive over. Felipe extended his arm out to you with a smile. If his sons were anything like him you knew you’d like them. He was quite the gentleman. 

The first person you met as you entered the part was a kind, although a little odd, man named Chucky. He was very friendly and offered to bring you back a beer which you thanked him for. 

The guys were hanging outside just fucking around when you walked in. Their attention immediately turned to you, the unfamiliar girl on Felipe’s arm. 

“Hey Angel, who’s that with your Pops?” Gilly asked, not taking his eyes off you. 

They all watched your interaction with Chucky. You smiled at Chucky saying something before he left. Shortly after Felipe turned to you and said something quietly in your ear which made you laugh. 

All the men were drawn to you as they watched on. You had their full attention without even knowing. 

Angel shook his head, “I have no fucking idea but I can promise you by the end of the night I will.” 

“Maybe she’s Felipe’s new woman.” Coco chuckled. “Careful Angel you don’t want to have the hots for your new step mommy.” 

"Fuck you." Angel tossed something at Coco chuckling. 

The guys erupted into laughter catching your attention. You felt a little nervous looking at all the handsome guys in front of you. Their laughter immediately died down as you approached their table with Felipe. 

Each guy was prepping for possibly the most important interaction they could have with you, the first impression. 

Bishop came down from the deck along with Hank and Taza to greet you first. “Felipe you must introduce us to your beautiful plus one.” Bishop gave you a charming smile. 

“This is (Y/N).” Felipe introduced you. “She just moved to town not long ago. I can already say that Santo Padre is a much better place with her in it.” 

You blushed at the compliment, your cheeks heating up. The smile that played on your lips stayed as the introductions continued. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you (Y/N).” The way Bishop said your name made you feel like he had known you forever. 

“Where did Felipe come across a beauty such as you?” Hank asked from behind Bishop. 

“I actually met Felipe at his shop. He has an excellent business.” You glance back at Felipe who had stepped back a bit with Chucky. 

“The best in town for fresh meat.” Taza agreed with you. 

"Besides in my pants of course." Creeper chuckled patting Taza on the shoulders. "If that's something you're interested in." 

"Don't be disgusting, Creep." Riz butted in. "Ignore him. I promise we're not all disgusting assholes like this jackass." He motioned over to Creeper. "I'm Riz. The only proper gentleman here." 

Coco nearly choked on his beer when he heard that. "Yeah a real fucking gentleman." Coco set his beer down. He looked you over giving you a smirk. "Nice to meet you." He gave you a nod before excusing himself going with the quiet and mysterious approach instead. Sometimes less was more.

EZ passed Coco as he came out of the clubhouse. He saw the guy all around you. You must be the new girl his father told him about, he thought. “Ezekiel Reyes. Felipe's son. Most people call me EZ.” EZ smiled. He shook your hand introducing himself. “Pops told me lots about you.”

Angel scoffed. Before EZ could say much more he got up from the table and butted in pushing his brother to the side. “Angel, the better way more experienced brother.” Angel said with a wink. 

You didn't have the chance to respond before EZ gave his brother a little shove back which quickly turned into the two having it out.

You giggled watching them. This was quite the introduction.

Felipe watched the guys and chuckled. He had a feeling this would be their reaction to meeting you. He sat back and enjoyed the show along with Chucky.

Gilly came up beside you watching on as Angel now had EZ in a playful headlock. “They’re all a bunch of idiots.” He commented chuckling as the men started coming in saying who they thought would give in first. “But they are rather loveable idiots. I'm Gilly by the way. How about we go inside the clubhouse for a drink and get away from the craziness for a while." He figured he could sneak you away to himself while everyone was engaged in the fight. "It's much quieter." He gave you a smile. "I'll tell you anything you want to know about the guys." He offered. He may not tell you all truths. He'd definitely paint himself better than the rest. 

It was every man for himself after all.

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[kru-sader]

What Others Think...

(Original short story)

Author's note - this is the first story I'm posting on Tumblr. Not my favourite but we needed to start somewhere...oh yeah - Do Not Repost anywhere and any kind of feedback is welcome.

Words- 1.3 k ////-

The fact that we live in a colony with such a diverse set of people, always irked me all the more when I never could find someone my age to play or be friends with. I resented that with all my being when I was younger. Only recently had I made peace with this reality, coincidentally at the same time as the pandemic completely destroying my social life at school too. And recently, these two younger girls decided to give my lonely self some company.

The couple that live in the house in front of ours are probably our closest neighbors.  All three of their daughters are married with kids- with the oldest living in the same city as them. Their son – the youngest - just married; and that sets the stage for the following events.

I’ve known my neighbors’ oldest grandchild- a seventh grader- since I can remember. We’ll call her Nia. On the occasion of their uncles wedding, she was joined by her tornado of a cousin- let’s say Gilly who is about a year younger than her.

Nia is quiet and looks shrewdly thoughtful most of the time, while Gilly is both sunshine AND dynamite in a human form. While I’ve never had many memorable encounters with Nia despite living in the same city and being neighbors with her grandma, I’ve had plenty with Gilly. In fact every time her mother comes to the city to visit her mother, we’ve played and fought and  laughed and screamed to the point that I’m now confused how in the world was I reduced to such an immature bratty child by a mere girl about 5 years younger than me.

Nonetheless this time we didn’t fight once (and I am claiming all the credit for it). If truth be told, we unconsciously acted more like middle school besties with all the gossiping and scheming. Which, by all means, is natural for her considering she is in middle school and fine by me as I enjoyed her company.

Gilly’s family stayed in the city for about 15 days. And between the wedding responsibilities the 11 year old had taken upon herself, she often came to spend time with me. It didn’t take me long to realize the girl loved to gossip- specially about certain topics such as dating and boys that she, I’m assuming, must have recently been exposed to in her big city and relatively more straightforward society.

She would tell me about the “boyfriend -girlfriend stuff” of her school and house and I would listen and make comments here and there. I was aware that a lot of what she said was not true but children do sometimes lie with no malicious intent behind it. What surprised me though was Gilly going-

“Nia confessed to uncle’s (the one who was getting married) friend.”

“What-”

“Yes, she had a crush on him…”

Now I didn’t doubt for a second that Nia, the wise and calm older, girl had done no such thing. But I sure was disappointed  in Gilly now for telling lies about someone she knew I  personally knew and could probably form a false opinion about  based on some meant to be entertaining falsehood. And it also hit me how Gilly was fine with stirring up gossip of her cousin with family friend about 10 years older than her.

Still I naturally forgot about it until a few days later Nia came to our house along with Gilly.

See I wasn’t trying to start some drama, I promise. But I sometimes speak without thinking even once, let alone twice. The question just casually came out of my mouth; I wasn’t even a tad bit interested in the answer.

“Who did you confess to Nia?”

“WHO DID I CONFESS TO?”

Then the room echoed the voice of a panicked Gilly who was always aware that if this conversation took place, she would be confronted and would have to explain and still nothing would cover up her little gossipy lie. She still tried though.

She had a choice to make and she made it in a way that proved to me that she cared about my opinion of her. Instead of saying that she said no such thing and making me the bluffer, she chose to convince Nia on the spot that she in fact did confess to this friend of her uncle that she liked.

Well this discussion didn’t go on for long. Nia called her out for making up such a story and tried to remove the idea of that from my head. I attempted to assure her by saying that I didn’t believe much of it either way and spent the next few hours condemning myself for being stupid enough to let it out that Gilly had said something like that to me. Gilly telling lies for the fun of it was bad, but 11 year olds don’t know better – I was aware of that well enough; I used to be eleven too.

My subconscious just kept hoping that Nia did not complain to her aunt - Gilly’s mother – about it. It would be awful and I did not want her to get in trouble.

 The possibility of Nia coming back after a while to clear things up again was not at all on my mind. But the girl was back in the evening and tried to make sure I wasn’t entertaining any idea of her liking someone so much older than her at this age or liking someone older and being weird enough to tell them about it.

As mentioned earlier, I already had not believed it to be true. Even if I did, I wasn’t going to form an opinion of her based on that, let alone a harsh one. And even if I did that too, I wouldn’t have expected her to care about what I thought of her.  Quiet and confident Nia, who –though younger than me- had always, intimidated me in some ways. Whose not starting a conversation with me most of the time had convinced me she didn’t quite care.

Nonetheless, here she was- trying to clear up her name when it wasn’t even   tarnished in the first place, from the mind of someone who frankly hadn’t given it another thought; even if they I did, it wouldn’t have affected her in any way. She cared actually, about my image of her. It was a weird thing to realize.

More so when I understood – that is how I have always reacted and continue to react without realizing it. It reminded me of the countless times I got disturbed for quite a while when I thought someone didn’t think of me a certain way. Reminded me of many times I have cared too much about someone’s opinion of me, trying to get them to like me – even at times when I knew I was most likely never seeing them again in my life. It reminded me of how I make desperate efforts to make society think of me as certain kind of person.      

And it made me feel like crying when I realized that no one cared.

Just like I didn’t. Even if I thought of someone a certain way, I didn’t quite care about it, didn’t care for them to care about it. But as I sat there looking at Nia explaining and denying a gossip about herself to me – the same Nia I thought more highly of than she’d ever know- I felt sad. Sad for the part of us that goes around looking for everyone else’s approval and ensuring they didn’t think lowly of us. I felt sad as I realized society doesn’t care about its own thoughts of us even half as much as we do. I felt sad when it hit me everyone probably thinks better of us than we think they do.

Most of all- I felt sad to know that most of those people’s opinion of me wouldn’t have affected my life either way if I could just bring myself to not care.

[ruthparson]

In Just One Week

The fledgling crow and his mama fight every day now about who is getting food for whom. Baby He did not know that he was being groomed to feed himself. He could tell things were changing, but he just didn’t understand. Baby He will chase his mama down across the grass, or on the flat roof tops with his mouth wide open, a too loud and pitiful cry projects itself into the quiet. His mama, whether from the tree branches or standing in the disheveled grass, opens her beak and screams into his nearly same size face. Grow Up Baby He!

 ~ ~ ~

A lucky girl has some Besties, and I have had a handful of beauties over the course of fifty years. Then, in just one week, things changed. I’ve lost the first of my forever friends. Yes, these friends have many more, very good woman friends who they know and love. But, these are my heart buddies.

Gillian left at three-thirty in the morning of Tuesday, June Twenty-Eighth, in 2022. Meagan, her girl, brought Gillian home on that Monday. She settled Gillian back into her lovely studio of a home, with beautiful light and myriad treasures. Home.

That evening there was a guest for dinner. Gillian slept, I like to think it was in her nest of a little bed under the window with the lace curtains over the  closed venetian style blinds, with all the pillows a girl could ever want to be sure her body can rest. And Gillian does rest. She sleeps now mostly, tiny laughs escape. It appears that any pain she feels is controlled by her disinterest and hospice level medications. Gillian’s friend, and Meagan’s too of course, Mary comes for dinner. Gillian sleeps, Meagan and Mary catch up and reminisce, and have their dinner and wine with the wind chime sounds of silver on ceramic on top of a proper wooden table. Everything feels so very at home, full of love and a life, yes, damnit, very well lived, the sounds of friends laughing their hearts out. The party broke up about midnight. 

Gillian is made comfortable for the night in her own soft bed. Meagan rests on the futon bed, the same bed she must have slept on a million times over the last three, difficult years. The very same comfortable bed that I slept on for a whole week while I found and said goodbye to my dear, dear Gillian. 

So, Meagan falls onto her bed, which is a nice forty-five degree angle from her mom, head to head. It seems right. They could whisper to each other in the night and actually be able to hear each other. This night though, is quiet. About three-thirty in the morning a pee break is required. Meagan checks on her mom before turning out the bathroom light. Gillian’s skin is looking remarkably plump, sort of juicy and she is wearing a lovely little smile on her face. Meagan thinks, how sweet, and watches, and checks again, and finds, to her surprise, she sees that Gillian has gone. Oh Gillian, your death was a beauty, of course. 

 See you honey, wherever we do.

  ~ ~ ~

PS My little old heart lost one of her buddies this week. I call her Gillian, with a hard G, for many reasons, the best being that is who I first met and this girl I love is always that girl I first met. I will, I am certain, and have no doubt, to her horror, call my girl Gilly when I am in a mood. I was in that mood a lot when she came to visit me there, in her own sweet apartment, between the veils. She liked to call me Rufus.

[kilojulietsierra]

Claro - Chapter Three (Angel Reyes x OFC - Mayans MC)

It's been Lord knows how long but finally got around to an update!

if you need a refresher...

Chapter One Chapter Two

Content warnings: mentions of past domestic violence, canon typical 18+ content

Chapter Three

If nothing else, Kati was proud of herself for not backing out. Also proud for not overdoing it with her outfit choice. It would have been easy enough to get swept up in the clothes scattered around her bed, but of all the cute outfits that laid before her, she knew what she would wear from the start. Her favorite pair of ripped jeans, an old LA Kings t-shirt she had picked up at goodwill and ripped out the collar so it hung off one shoulder, comfortable tennis shoes and hair down and un-messed with.

Simple.

She repeated that word to herself multiple times as she drove down the street to the gate of the Romero Bros scrap yard.

It was just getting dark as she picked her way through the winding trails to the back of the property where Angel had told her the clubhouse was. She figured if she was lucky enough to not get lost in the heaps of metal she’d still probably end up with a flat tire. Which she would most definitely make Angel fix!

Finally she saw the gate and almost as soon as it came into her view it began to slide open, a small, bald man waving clumsily at her as he guided her through the gate and to a place to park.

He was making his way to her with a big grin as she stepped out of the F-150, “Buenos tardes senorita.” His accent was rougher and whiter than even hers. “You must be the lovely Katarina.”

The closer he got the weirder he got. Then a voice across the way interrupted her and the would be awkward conversation, “Chucky, watch yourself manos, touch my girl and I’ll take the fingers you got left.”

Angel strolled up to her through the dirt lot and immediately put his hand on her hip.

He offered the strange man a smile as he nodded and veered in the opposite direction, humming something to himself.

“Your Walmart greeter is… interesting.” she chuckled, tilting her head up towards Angels.

“Interesting is a nice way to put it.” He looked down to her upturned face, “He’s harmless, just fun to mess with.” He stared into her eyes an extra few seconds. “Hi.”

She laughed, some of the nerves settling, “Hi.” Katarina waited for his lips to land on hers and was not disappointed.

“You ready to come meet the club?” He looked hopeful and proud.

It would kill her a little inside to let him down here. She was certain of it. After chewing on her lips a second she nodded, “Yeah, let’s go.”

“Don’t worry babe, I got you.” He kissed her again and tugged her back towards the building against the back fence with the men wandering in and out the open front door. He walked her past a fire pit and up the stairs where she waved to Coco and Gilly both sitting on the porch smoking cigarettes.

“Hey Kati!” they called out as they returned her wave.

Inside she took a long, left to right, glance around the room. Almost immediately a shorter, middle aged man stepped forward.

“Brother.” The man and Angel shared one of the oddly familial hugs that appeared to be customary, “and Katarina.”

Angel nodded as he stepped back slightly, gave Kati an encouraging smile. “Kati, this is our prez, Bishop. Prez, this is Katarina.”

She didn’t have much say in the hug the man, Bishop, pulled her into but she was pleasantly surprised at how insanely comfortable a hug it was. When she pulled back partially from eachoter Kati smiled, “Mucho gusto.”

Bishop smiled and shot a glance back at Angel. “Same here sweetheart,” he gestured to the few men around him, and Angel let her introduce herself to all of them. Taza, Tranq, Riz She did your best to mark each off their faces in her brain, connect them to stories from Angel to help remember who was who.

Soon enough, after apparently gaining the approval of the club Angel stepped up behind her. “C’mon baby, lets get a drink and go sit down.” She nodded, then laughed as Angel ordered his little brother to fetch them both a beer. Katarina realized the tension in her neck and the tangle in her stomach had loosened and she was no longer nervous.

With a beer in hand and Angels grip to guide her, Katarina found herself in easy, friendly conversation with Angel and Coco. Laughing at their stories and sprinkling little snarks and jabs in at appropriate times much to the enjoyment of Angels friends. After awhile Angel whispered in her ear, his free hand rubbing up and down her back, “You good her for a second?”

She nodded, “Yeah of course.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.”

~~~

By the time he came back with a fresh pack of smokes Angel found Katarina and Coco hustling the pool table, she was already on her second beer. He approached but didn’t interrupt her, kept his distance. Until she noticed him at least.

She smiled and walked his way.

He watched and smiled. “You good?”

“Of course,” She stepped directly in front of him and looked up, “Why do you keep asking?”

“Just making sure.” He stuck his bottom lip out and hummed when she immediately kissed him.

“You wanna play?” She offered him the pool cue.

“Nah I’m good. Go ahead.” He nudged her back towards the table and dropped himself into a table to the side, falling into a conversation with Gilly and lighting a cigarette.

He watched her easily slip into the rhythm of the clubhouse and the club and he loved it.

~~~

later in the night Kati walked out of the clubhouse and down the steps towards the fire pit, surrounded by chairs. One of those chairs occupied by Angel, who watched very intently as she approached. In turn, she watched him take one last drag from his cigarette before flick it into the fire pit. Opting instead to reach his now free hand out to her waist as she settled herself onto Angels lap.

She draped her arm around his shoulders and he leaned slightly to set his beer on the ground so he could wrap both arms around her, pulling her as close as possible. She couldn't help but smile at him and at how at ease she felt here, with him and his friends. Katarina glanced around at the others, all talking and laughing and was content to do so until Angel squeezed her thigh to get her attention.

When she turned back to look at him he was licking his lip and pulling it between his teeth, his eyes boring into hers in a way she could not misconstrue. She leaned down to kiss him and squirmed in his arms as the shock of desire rolled down her spine.

A little nervous at feeling this way while surrounded by the club and Vickies girls, Katarina pulled back slightly. Giggling softly as Angels lips chased after hers. "Everyone is right here." she whispered in explanation.

Angels face did not change, only his grip on her tightened, "Don't pay attention to them baby," His eyes flicked away from her eyes to her lips and back before he bit his lip again. His left hand slipped under her shirt and she shivered at the contrast between his rough, warm skin and the brush of his rings over the soft skin of her lower back. "They don't care."

His hand remained still but his fingertips brushed back and forth over the base of her spine and it was a simple yet overwhelming sensation. So, without another thought she leaned down for another kiss. And another. And another. Until soon there was no pause between kisses, only long, slow passes of lips and tongues. Occasionally Angel would nip at Katarinas bottom lip and then smile as she would nip back and her grip and the front of his shirt would tighten.

When she did eventually pull away again, finally realizing how caught up in him she had become, the realization of why she had come to find him in the first place hit her. She fought to steady her breathing, calm her racing heart and ignore the dull tingling between her legs. As her eyes opened she found him still staring intently into her eyes and she felt her face flush. Leaning forward she whispered into his ear, "I should probably head home."

He turned his head quickly so they were face to face again, "Everything okay baby?"

The instantaneous worry on his face made her internally cringe and she hurried to smooth it over, "Yeah," She kissed the crinkles at the corner of his eye, and bit lightly on his earlobe on her way to whisper against his ear again, "Just an early morning tomorrow."

When she leaned back Angels disappointment was unmistakable and his grip on her tightened further. He nodded, barely, "Ok."

Katarina took a deep breath and asked him a question, "If I asked you to come home with me, would you ride with me? Leave your bike here?"

Confused, Angel blinked back at her, "You ashamed of me mi dulce?"

"No." The speed and certainity in her voice seemed to calm them both, "Just trust me, please."

They shared a long, intense stare before Angel nodded. His right hand left her thigh to hold her chin, "Give me a kiss." Katarina obliged, gladly, and was glad to feel his form relax under her. This time when they pulled apart he gave her two, slight taps over the hip pocket of her jeans. A signal to stand up, "Gotta say bye first."

~~~

After a lighthearted fight turned quick make out session over who would drive, Angel and Katarina were on the way back to her place. Katarina driving. Angel taking in his surroundings through the open windows. As they drove he couldn't help but notice the views out the window changing consistently from industrial buildings, run down apartments, dirt yard fixer uppers to cute shops closed for the night, large ranch houses on roomy and manicured acre lots.

The further they went the more uneasy he became. The streets, the cars, the houses, everything gradually got newer and nicer until Katarina hit her turn signal and turned into a large brick, lighted entrance to a gated community.

He couldn't help the thoughts roiling in his mind. Everything prior to tonight making more sense. Why she had always insisted on meeting him in town, never wanting to invite him over.

"Yeah, I get it now." He spat out through gritted teeth.

Based on her voice, she could tell he was upset, but not why. "Get what?"

He snorted out a harsh laugh, "We obviously ain't in the hood anymore. You worried the neighborhood watch is gonna call me in to the cops? The HOA gonna fine you if they see you around with someone like me?"

"Don't be an ass." She snapped back, "I mean they probably would but that's beside the point." She forced a chuckle but it obviously did not have the desired effect so she turned to face him as she turned up the driveway to a huge two story house and parked in front of the detached, two car garage. "You said you trusted me."

" Yeah well that was before I knew you were just slummin' it."

"Angel..." She parked the truck and took a deep, audible breath. "Shut up and come with me."

Her tone caught him a little off guard and he watched as she jerked the keys out of the ignition and climbed out of the truck. Slamming the door behind her.

Still mad Angel followed after her, ready for a fight.

Instead of going to the main house she lead him around the back of the garage and through a side door. She waited for him just inside the door and flipped on a light switch to reveal a small, plain apartment.

He felt his anger subside into annoyed confusion, until he turned to Katarina and took in the expression on her face.

~~~

Katarina took a breath and steadied her nerves. Trying not to let the hurt and contempt in Angels face sway her. "This is my sisters home. She let me move into this guest house when I got out of Chino a couple years ago."

The hurt on his face shifted quickly pure confusion. "Chino?"

Trying her best not to duck her head in shame, Katarina continued with a nod. "Yeah, I did just under four years for aggravated battery..." She paused and waited but he did, nor said, nothing, so she continued. She didn't know what else to do. "I uh... I finally had enough of my boyfriend, well ex... then boyfriend... whatever, beating on me so I... so I defended myself." She fought to hold onto the little bit of pride she held for herself for that fact alone. "But, I made the mistake of defending myself with a baseball bat and doing too good of a job." The dark, sadistic laugh escaped without any warning.

She looked to him again for a reaction, but still he just stared back at her.

"I played softball all through school, so I had a pretty legit swing and um... got a little carried away... so he ended up in a wheelchair. He got a really good lawyer and I ended up doing 40 months in CIW. Even though it was technically self defense but..." she tapered off, "yeah..."

She glanced around the small but cute and tidy apartment, becoming more nervous, "My sister and her husband do really well for themselves and my sister let me use this address when I got released. So I got to move in here and finish off my parole. I help out with my niece and nephews in exchange for rent and a little money until I kinda get my shit back together."

There was a long silence. Longer than the others. And Katarina realized she may have shared her story but she hadn't really explained herself yet, "Anyway I'm not embarrassed by you and I am not 'slumming' it, I was just trying to respect my sister and her family and figure out how to explain..." She looked and gestured around her and to herself, "This... I guess."

This time she resolved to wait for him to speak. There was nothing else she could do or say so she had to wait for him to take the next step.

His eyes were hard and dark, his face had slackened but had yet to relax enough to be considered at ease. He hadn't moved, possibly hadn't blinked, as she had spoke her piece. When he did finally break his silence it was with a hushed, rough voice, "Katarina..."

She felt all the fight drain out of her, defeated. "I'll take you back to your bike if you want."

Angel stared at her, his face finally shifting from cold shock to a softer sort of surprise. He caught her eye and took a step closer to her, "All I want is to go to bed."

Kati blinked back at him, fighting back the hint of tears, "Here? with me?"

He smiled, carefully, and grabbed her hand, "Yeah. Of course with you."

~~~

"I'm sorry I was an ass baby." Angel muttered into Katis hair as he kissed her forehead and rubbed his thumb soothingly over the inside of her wrist.

"You should be." Kati murmured back as he moved to wrap his arms around her, his hands dragging up and down her back, the tension of the car ride over long gone, "I still have a baseball bat you know."

Angel chuckled and pulled her tighter against him, "I'll behave mami, I promise."

Katarina nodded against his chest and squeezed him back. "Promise?"

He didn't answer right away and when Kati pulled back to look at him the smirk on his face explained why. "Well, as long as you want me to anyway."

She rolled her eyes and hummed disbelievingly, even as he leaned down to kiss her. This time it was soft and tentative which helped to calm her nerves even more. When they pulled apart they were both smiling, "Can we go lay down?"

Angel leaned down to give her another quick kiss and nodded with his his forehead pressed against hers.

With his hand in hers she took him through the small apartment to her bedroom and did her best not to fidget as she watched Angel toe out of his boots and shrug out of his kutte. Nervous she kicked off her own shoes and stood awkwardly until Angel crossed the room to take hold of her hips and pull her down onto the bed with him.

Almost on instinct they settled on the bed together, Katarina on her back and Angel on his side next to her. With his left hand still on her hip he leaned down to kiss her. It started slow, each of them taking their time to get back in sync after the high emotions of earlier.

When Kat rolled to her side, pushing herself closer to him and deeper into the kiss, Angel took that as a good sign and rolled over to his back, taking her the rest of the way with him until their positions were reversed. She let out a long sigh as she settled against him and Angel tightened his hold on her reflexively. One of his hands bravely slid under her top and splayed wide over her lower back and he groaned as she pressed herself against his thigh.

For the longest time they took their time cuddling, touching and kissing each other until Kati felt emboldened enough to slide her hand under Angels shirt. She skimmed her hand up over his abs and his chest, dragging her nails back down.

Angel lifted himself up enough and let go of her just enough to pull his shirt off over his head and lay back down. He took hold of her hand and guided it back to make the same motion again. "That feels good." He pulled her tighter against him and kissed her harder.

With her heart racing Kati slid up to straddle his thighs and felt a shiver roll down her spine at the way Angels eyes looked up at her dark and glazed over.

His hands slid up her thighs over her hips and waist and higher, taking her shirt with them. Immediately they came back to her collar bone to ghost over her breast and down her stomach to the button of her jeans. "Take these off?" His gaze hopeful.

Kati bit her lip, "You first."

Angel grinned and moved to lay her on her back before he stood up from the bed and faced her. His eyes boring in hers, only looking away to take in the sight of her waiting for him on the bed. He took his time, enjoying her attention, as he undid his belt and jeans, pushing them down exposing a noticeable erection straining though his shorts. "These too?" He played with the waistband until Kati nodded, her lip still between her teeth.

His erection bobbed as he removed his last piece of clothing and he obviously loved the way she was looking at him. Slowly he crawled back up the length of her body to claim her lips again.

Kati felt his left hand playing with the button of her jeans and she immediately lifted her hips, giving him permission to continue.

Far too easily he had her fly undone, one handed, and started to pull her jeans down stopping for a moment when he noticed, "You walking around without panties on mami?"

With a giggle she nodded and Angel dropped his head against her neck with a groan.

"My life's never gonna be the same." He mumbled against her skin as he paused in the removal of her jeans and instead swiped a long finger though her lower lips. Groaning again at the warmth and wetness he found there. "Shit." He drew the word out long and low, quickly removing her bra and returning to peel off her jeans finally.

Angel immediately moved to settle between her legs, his head ducked down to taste her and Kati was shaking when she reached for him, pulling him back up to kiss her. "Later."

Confused at first Angel chuckled and slid his hand up her long leg to settle on her hip, "Impatient mami?" He kissed her deeply, moaning as her hands drug down his back. He tilted his hips just right and nudged himself against her opening.

Kati shivered and moaned as he nudged her again. "Maybe."

They giggled together and kissed as Angel lined himself up and slid home.

~~~

When Katrina woke up the next morning she attempted to stretch and roll over only to be inhibited by a heavy arm.

Angel.

Still asleep, almost but not quite snoring, his face buried in the pillows next to hers. For a moment Kati stayed as still as possible, but eventually she couldn't help but fidget and it woke Angel.

"This is the comfiest fucking bed I've ever slept in," he mumbled into the pillow.

"Oh yeah?" she laughed and tried to move but he clamped his arm tighter around her, even pulled her back against him as he rolled back to his side.

"Mhmmmm." He let his free hand slide under the covers to pull her hips back against his while he kissed across her bare neck and shoulder.

She shuddered out a breath as she leaned her weight back into a now very noticeably awake Angel. Kati settled one hand over his and together Angel moved their hands over her hip, down her thigh, back up over her side and her chest until he used the fingers wove between hers to tilt her chin back so he could kiss her.

The kiss quickly turned into more until Kati was gasping and moaning Angels name and dragging her nails down his back.

~~~

By the time Angel emerged from the shower Katarina had changed into her clothes for the morning and had a pot of coffee brewed with two cups poured. She couldn't help but laugh, a silly smile on her face as Angel emerged from her bedroom in his jeans but still shirtless, effortlessly flipping a bat end over end in his left hand, catching it on end and balancing it before continuing to flip it and roll it back over his wrist. "So, is this the bat?"

Kati rolled her eyes and hid her grin in a sip of her coffee cup. "Nope," she moved to meet him halfway, "Thelma's in an evidence lock up somewhere." She caught the bat mid flip, surprising him, "This one is Louise." She laughed as he gave her an eye roll of his own as she leaned the bat against the wall and handed him a coffee cup.

He took the cup and sipped the coffee as he eyed her up and down. Before he could share what thought he had had there was a knock at the door. His eyes met hers, "Should I be lookin' for a place to hide?"

Kati stared straight back at him, "Do you wanna hide?"

"I'm good if you're good mami."

She smiled as he took a sip of coffee and leaned back against the kitchen counter. "It's open!"

The door opened and an older, lighter haired version of Katarina walks in, "Morning! Oh... hi..." She trailed off.

Katarina nods, "Good morning"

Angel smirked from his spot against the counter, "Buenos dias."

"Tori this is Angel, Angel this is my sister Tori. Victoria."

Tori still didn't move and was obviously trying not to stare but failing, "Hi, it's good to meet you... finally. I um... I was not prepared for this level of ... um.. yeah, wow."

Kati propped a hip against the counter, sipping from her coffee cup with both hands, enjoying herself immensely as her older sister sputtered at the shirtless man before them.

"Um, anyway, still on for yoga?" Tori tried to recover and remember her reason for stopping in in the first place.

"Yeah, I gotta drop him off, but I'll be back in time to pick you up and we can go."

"Ok great, um.. Angel, nice to meet you... Kati, just let me know when you're back." Tori gave him one more good once over before she turned wide eyed to her sister and disappeared back out the door.

Angel pushed off the counter and stalked the few steps across the compact kitchen, turning Kati to face him, "Your sister knows?"

"Of course she knows, she's my sister. We don't keep secrets from each other." She pointedly looks him up and down, "and besides... it's kinda fun to brag a little."

He grabbed a hold of her, "Ohhh, you braggin' on me mami? Hmm?" He tipped her chin up and pulled her flush against him.

"Maybe a little." She smirked as she traced the triangle tattoo on his chest.

They shared a moment just intently staring into each others eyes before Angel broke the silence, "So yoga?"

"Three mornings a week."

He ran a finger around the waist of her yoga pants before grabbing a handful of her ass, "That explains a lot."

Kati shoved him away. "Go put your shirt on guapo, you don't want me to miss class."

Angel backed away from her, slowly, eyes still glued to the sports bra and yoga pants, "No, no I do not."

~~~

Chapter Four - Final Chapter

taglist @est1887 @mrsstevenbuchananstark

[noladyme]

La Cuervo - Chapter 14

She is used to the biker-life, having grown into a woman in the familiar embrace of SAMCRO. A bad decision and a gun-shot later, she gets whisked off to Santo Padre, and put under the protection of another club. What is supposed to be a short stint in the Mayan headquarters just north of the border to Mexico, turns into something more; when la quervo begins to develop feelings for el angel - and he seems to return them in kind...

TW: violence, blood, drug use, alcohol, smut, fluff, angst

In the spirit of "The Crown Princess of Charming", this is a story about O.C. Nina and Angel Reyes. It is obviously non-canon, as characters who have passed on on Mayans M.C. are present in it, and others have been excluded completely. Nina is written as a cis-female, but I have tried to keep her race and looks as ambigous as possible. Should you find any of this story offensive, please let me know.

It wasn’t until Nina was alone, that realization struck her. She’d just agreed to leave Angel. Her Angel. The man who had brought her back to life. The thought struck her like a freight train, and she froze in place, almost literally. Her whole body went cold, and she felt like she couldn’t move for the longest time. The light in the room told her she must have sat like that for at least an hour. Finally able to move her head to look down, she looked at the crescent shaped cuts in her palms from her nails. Something wet began dripping onto them, and she found tears had begun running down her cheeks, without her even noticing it. Forcing her arm to reach for the pillow next to her, she took a deep breath, and held it to her face; before a wail like no other left her mouth. She screamed out her agony, not having felt anything like it since she’d been told that Jackson had gone through with his plan to kill himself. It was as if an actual death had occurred again; but this time it felt like her own.

After a while she put down the pillow again, and got to her feet. She opened the cabinets, and began pulling out he few belongings she’d brought to Santo Padre, and stuffed them in her backpack. Then she made the bed, and went into the small bathroom for her toothbrush. It looked so alone there, as if it missed standing next to Angel’s. She tore herself from the thought, and went to put that into her bag as well. Only the gun and her inhaler were left, and she went to pick them up, when she noticed the phone Bishop had given her laying on the counter by the sink. She picked it up, and sat down on the cot again.

She wasn’t sure who to call. No one could change her situation as it was; but she needed something – anything – to help her through. Just a voice to remind her that it wasn’t all for nothing. Looking at Jackson’s journal and the photo of his boys – which she’d saved for last – the answer came to her. She dialed up the number, praying to god that it was still the same as last time she’d used it. The call was picked up at the second ring.

“Hello?”. “Wendy? It’s Nina”, she said. “Hey, Nina. How is everything?”, Wendy replied. Nina heard a ruckus in the background. “Thomas, no more cookies…! Sorry. Someone decided sugar was a good replacement for lunch... Chibs told me you were going to Mexico”. Nina swallowed thickly. “Yeah… No, not really. I’m somewhere else”. “Well, I hope you’re enjoying yourself. What I’d give for a vacation…”, Wendy said. Nina knew she was just kidding. Wendy had never been happier than since she moved to the farm with the boys and Nero. “Yeah, well; vacation is over”, Nina muttered. “I was wondering if I could talk to the kids for a minute”. “Of course! They miss you”, Wendy said. There was another sound of something crashing in the background. “Sorry, I need to give Tommy a bath. No! We don’t wipe peanut butter on our faces…!”. Another crash. “Goddammit. Abel! Come to talk to aunt Nina while I help your brother… Take care, Nina”. Nina couldn’t help but smile a little, as she heard Wendy chase Tommy around the room. There was a short scrambling noise, before someone spoke again. “Hi, aunt Nina!”, a bright, young voice said on the other end. “Abel… Hi, buddy”, Nina said, instantly falling back into tears; but trying to stifle her sniveling. “How are you doing?”. “I’m ok… But Tommy broke my supersoaker…”. “Aw, that sucks. I’m sure he’s sorry”, Nina said. “Yeah, mommy Wendy made him apologize… You sound sad…”, Abel said. Nina wiped her eyes, as if the boy was right there in front of her. “No, I’m not sad. I just smelled your feet through the phone, and it made me cry”, she replied. “No, you didn’t!”, Abel laughed. “When are you gonna come visit? There’s a mule here, and we named him after you, even though he’s a boy; because daddy always said you were stubborn as a mule. And we have a trampoline, which is really cool, ‘cuz you can jump high. When I stretch up my arms when I jump, I’m almost as tall as Nero! And…”. “That’s great Abel. I’d love to see that…”. Nina sighed and closed her eyes, trying to picture the boy in front of her. He’d probably grown quite a bit, even after the picture Wendy had sent her was taken. “Are you being good for mommy Wendy?”. “Yeah, I eat my broccoli and everything. And I help Nero clean the horse-stalls”, Abel said. “That’s good. And you’re doing good in school?”, she asked, having to wipe her nose a bit. “Yeah… Do you have a cold? Your voice is funny”, Abel replied. “No, it’s still your feet, stinky!”, Nina chuckled. She heard bikes arriving on the lot, and felt another crying fit threatening to attack. “Look, buddy; I gotta run. I just wanted to make sure you were ok”. “I’m ok. Come visit us soon!”. “I promise, Abel. I love you!”. “Love you too. Bye!”. Abel hung up the call before Nina could say anything more. She quickly slipped the photo into the journal, and put it in her bag, before getting to her feet to face Angel.

---

The Mayans all looked to be in a good mood, when Nina opened the trailer door to step outside. EZ, Gilly and Coco went to gather the loaded sleep rolls, while Angel turned to look at her; a bright smile on his face.

Daniella came out of the clubhouse, and stood on the porch. She smiled shortly at Nina, before Angel noticed the blonde, and began approaching her. “Dani, we gotta talk”, he said. “Angel!”, Nina called out. He turned around, and looked at her confusedly. “Give me a minute”, he replied. “No. Now”, Nina declared, and stepped back inside the trailer. The Mayans all looked confused at this point, but didn’t intervene. Angel frowned, and gave Daniella a short look. She shrugged, before looking at Nina; palming her phone. Don’t try anything, she seemed to be saying. “Don’t go anywhere”, Angel said to her, and walked towards the trailer. “I’ll be right here, baby”, Daniella said.

Once inside the trailer, Angel closed the door. “Nina, what the fuck? I was just about to…”. “Daniella’s not the snitch. I talked to her”, Nina cut him off. “You what?”, Angel growled. “Girl talk”, Nina said. “She’s just here for you. Not to sell out your club”. She made herself keep an indifferent face while she spoke. “You should give her a chance”. “I’m not… What are you talking about?”.

Nina sighed deeply, and took a step back. “You and me… That was never gonna work out”. He tried to reach for her hand, but she turned around to throw her inhaler and gun into the bag. “Nina… What are you doing?”, Angel asked. “I’m leaving… Going home”, she replied. “Or somewhere else. I haven’t decided yet”. “You’re not going anywhere!”, Angel exclaimed, and yanked her bag out of her hands. “What the fuck is going on?”. Nina clenched her fists to hide the fact that her hands were shaking. Angel wouldn’t let her go unless she did something drastic. She swallowed thickly, and met his eyes with an indifferent gaze. “You people can’t protect me. I’m safer with SOA; what happened to Camille is proof of that”, she said. The furrow between Angel’s brows was deeper than ever. “I wasn’t gonna tell you this, but I talked to SAMDINO. I’m gonna take up Packer’s offer”. Angel looked like he’d been punched in the gut with a sledgehammer. “Packer… You wanna go be with Packer…”, he croaked. “Yeah… He’s… We’ve got history”, Nina lied. Angel’s expression was growing pained, but in spite of wanting to take him in her arms, and comfort him, Nina had to continue her ruse. “You said I was too good for this life. I’m not. I just want more than what you can give me. Queen of SAMDINO is the right step for me”.

She tried taking her bag back from Angel, but he threw it behind him; and grabbed a hold of her shoulders. “This is bullshit. What happened?”, he said. “I changed my mind. I don’t want to stay here”, Nina replied. “I’m sorry about that year I owe the club, but I’ll try to get some money, and have Chibs pay you whatever Bishop thinks I owe”. “This isn’t about money. You said you love me!”, Angel said, his voice breaking. Nina couldn’t say she didn’t; the words simply would not form in her mouth. She closed her eyes to avoid meeting Angel’s gaze, and let out a deep breath. “This isn’t about whatever I said or… felt”, she finally said. “We should have ended this the night we first slept together. It shouldn’t have gone further”. “Cuervo…”, Angel tried. “We’re done”, Nina declared, and forced his hands off her shoulders, before pushing past him, and grabbing her bag. “I’m sorry”. She almost ran out of the trailer, knowing Angel would physically try to stop her if she didn’t. “Nina!”, he called after her. She looked towards the porch; and through a haze of unshed tears, she saw Daniella smiling as she went.

Before anyone had a chance to stop her, Nina slipped into the front office, and dug out the small cashbox Chucky kept there. She felt bad for taking money from it, but she needed cash for wherever she was going. A few notes in hand, she ran off the lot, and down the road. Avoiding getting found in Santo Padre was difficult, as Nina had spent very little time away from the scrap yard. She knew she had to work fast to get as far away as possible, as soon as possible. There was no doubt in her mind that Angel would try to come after her – he was probably already on his way – and if he didn’t, Bishop might, to get her to fulfill her one-year promise.

Once out on the main road, she flagged down a car, and convinced the driver that she needed to get to a bus station; because her brother was sick, and she had to go see him. She was only half lying, she realized, as there was really only one place in the world she wanted to go in that moment. She had to go see her brother.

---

It took a little over a day to make the trip back to north California. The cash Nina had taken from the scrapyard could only get her so far by bus, and she had to hitch rides the rest of the way. Each time she heard the sound of a motorbike, or saw anyone wearing leather, she had the instinct to duck her head. She wasn’t sure what she was afraid of. Clearly, her cover wasn’t blown yet. Daniella wanted her alive, and if there was another snitch, they didn’t seem to be focused on her. It might have been the shame of how she’d run; how she’d been too weak to fight Daniella for what she wanted. Then again, that shame would have been greater and even more devastating, if fighting back had meant it would hurt her nephews. Ultimately, she was just distraught; and only wanted to speak with one person – even if he couldn’t reply.

It was just past midnight, when Nina finally made it to Redwood Memorial Cemetery, just outside of Charming. She’d gotten used to the heat in Santo Padre, and it was a cold night. With nothing more than a light jacket to cover herself, she was shivering as she walked down the rows of gravestones. She halted for a moment by a white stone, engraved with the name John Thomas Teller. Taking a moment to brush some stray leaves from the top of it, Nina sent a thought to the man who’d sired one of the most important people in her life; before moving on. Someone had left a bouquet of lilies on Tara’s grave. Her coworkers at St. Thomas, Nina figured. She chided herself for not having visited the grave more often, but coming to the cemetery had been painful the last couple of years. A fresh grave nearby sported multiple flower arrangements, and as no one was around, Nina nabbed a few roses from it, and left them next to the lilies. “Abel and Thomas are loved and safe. Sleep tight”, she whispered to the stone.

The last ten yards she had to walk towards her end goal felt like miles. A cold gush of wind made Nina shudder, and she threw her arms around herself; trying to rub some heat into them.

Jackson’s stone looked lonely, in spite of all the other’s surrounding it. It was like he had been in the last year of his life; surrounded by people, but alone in his pain. At the same time, it was incredibly peaceful; like it should be. He’d found rest from his torment and sorrow. Nina imagined him riding his bike down an ethereal highway; his father next to him, and Tara riding pivot. “Fucking soppy”, Nina chuckled to herself.

She sat down on the ground next to the stone, and ran her fingertips over the lettering. Jackson Nathaniel Teller. “I miss you…”, she began. She chewed her lips, and wiped away a stray tear. After a moment searching for the right words, she finally sighed. “I am so angry with you, Jackson. You left me… And I love you as well. I love you for everything you taught me about being a good person; which just makes me even more angry, because I’ll never be able to live up to the example you set… I fucked up. I took so many wrong turns after you died; even though I promised… I know you expected more from me, and I’m so sorry; but I’m not strong enough to…”. The stray tears had become two steady streams falling from her eyes. “You said, be happy… And I was really happy for the first time in what felt like forever. But I can’t be happy, and also live up to your example of protecting your family… My family”. She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, as if trying to force herself to stop crying. “Your boys are safe, and I’m gonna keep them that way. That means breaking my promise of being happy to you, but I also know it’s what you would do… So, I guess in some way, I’m still doing what you taught me…”. She took a deep breath, and finally the tears stilled.

Nina moved behind the stone, and leaned her back against it; as she had sat back-to-back with Jackson on the roof of the old clubhouse in Charming, before the explosion. She remembered how her whole body would rumble along with Jax’s; as he laughed at whatever ridiculous thing she would tell him about her day – or the time she’d told him she was planning to drop out of high school, and sign up with CaraCara once she turned 18. Yeah, that’s not happening, darlin’. I’ll tie your ass to the seat, until you’re wearing that cap and gown. I don’t wanna see my little sister’s naked ass on camera. It was that conversation, and his response, that made her keep the fact that she’d quit community college hidden for a full week; before Chucky sold her out. A pang of pain struck her heart as she remembered that she hadn’t even said goodbye to the good-humored little man.

After a long moment, Nina began speaking again “I know I can’t live in memories, but it’s the closest thing to happiness that I have now… And I want to tell you about him”. She took a deep breath, almost as nervous as if Jackson would have been able to respond. “His name is Angel… and you would hate him”, she chuckled. “He’s a biker… surprise! Bet you didn’t see that coming… He’s smug, and a smartass; and a horny little shit… He’s also a Mayan… I know! But he’s also… so kind and full of life… and sofucking hot… which is something I guess you didn’t need to know”. She chewed her lower lip, and closed her eyes, seeing Angel in front of her. “He’s got this dimple between his eyebrows when he gets frustrated or confused – which is quite often, if I’m gonna be honest… And he’s so much smarter and warm and lovable than he gives himself credit for. I’ve never felt more loved and cared for, than when I was with him… I mean, I felt that from you, and from Filip and the rest; but… This was different, because I wasn’t just a sister or a friend. I love him. Like love him…”. She frowned. “But it’s over. I had to end it”.

The cold was getting to her, so the shivers from her pain mixed with ones of freezing. She hadn’t eaten or drank anything for more than a day, and she was exhausted. She looked around her, not ready to leave; and not really knowing where to go anyway. Opening her backpack, Nina got out the journal, and opened a random page; running her fingers over the handwritten words. “Know that the decisions that you make effect everyone and everything, along with yourself. It has taken me a long time to realize that, and I wish I would have sooner. And as much as I want to help you, tell you what to do; I can't. Those choices will be yours, and yours alone. The only advice I can give you, is to examine who you are as a person and what you choose as your path in your life. Find your own truth. It will lead you to the things you love”. “I wish you could help me too”, she whispered. “I don’t know what my path is, and I can’t promise to get over this. I can’t promise that I will be happy; and we both know me well enough to know, that I’m not gonna handle this well… So, I’m just not gonna make any of those promises; it wouldn’t be honest of me if I did…”. She clutched the journal against her chest, and fished the .38 out of the bag; holding it in her hand. Nina sat for a long time, just looking at it. “I’m gonna sleep now. And then I’m gonna drink, and smoke, and try to get laid… and do everything else unhealthy, until I can finally become numb enough to… not chose your path”.

She had nothing else to say; simply couldn’t find the words. Instead, she curled up on the cold ground, closed her eyes; and let sleep take her over.

---

“Nina?”. She heard footsteps heading her way. Filip looked down at her disheveled state, and then at the gravestone and the gun in her hand; and his face dropped. “She’s here”, he said. Tig and Happy came up behind him. “Shit, muffin. What happened?”, Tig asked. Happy frowned. “Chibs, why is she here?”. “Not now, Hap’”, Filip said. “Let’s just get her out of here. Get the gun”. One of them scooped her into their arms; she was too exhausted to notice who…

---

The radio was turned all the way up, and she was swaying her hips to the music.

“Nina, get off the counter!”, Filip called out from across the room. He looked almost angry. Nina took a sip of her beer, and stretched her arms into the air. “Why? I thought the party was about to start…”, she laughed. Filip walked over to her, and wrapped his arms around her legs, making her fall over his shoulder. “Yes. A children’s birthday party. This is an ice cream shop, you lush”, he growled, and carried her out the back door; setting her down at the foot of the stairs going up to the actual SAMCRO clubhouse. She noticed Rat smiling apologetically at the arriving guests; which consisted of a group of 7-yearolds, and the flabbergasted mother of the birthday-boy. “Tell them I’m sorry”, Nina whispered very loudly to Filip, before looking towards the mother. “I’m sorry!”, she yelled.

Filip dragged her up the stairs, and more or less threw her on one of the leather couches. “Jesus Christ, Nina…”, he sighed exasperatedly. “We do actually need the front of this operation functioning”. “Pfft”, Nina sputtered. “Everyone in town knows what this place is. You’re leather clad bikers who sell guns, for fucks sake! I need a drink”. She went to get off the couch, but Filip pushed her back down, and took the beer bottle from her hand. “You’ve had enough”, he said. “Get some sleep”. “No sleep ‘til Charming!”, Nina sang. “You’re in Charming", Tig said, having come over from the bar area. He snatched her pack of smokes from her, before she could get them from the coffee table, and held out a glass of water. Nina scrunched up her nose. “Fish pee in that”, she said. Tig sat down, and lifted the glass to her lips. “Don’t make me hold your nose”, he said. The water looked a little murky, but Nina accepted the glass, and drank it all, before throwing it into the air. Filip caught it mid-air, and rolled his eyes. “Buzz-kill”, Nina sneered.

She leaned back in her seat, before suddenly, her stomach began rumbling violently. Tig sprang for a trashcan, and held it in front of her; just in time for Nina to hurl a week's worth of alcohol and Happy’s scrambled eggs into it. “What was in that?”, Filip grunted. “Bit of charcoal”, Tig said. “Better than taking her to get her stomach pumped at St. Thomas’”. “I hate you…”, Nina heaved between two streams of vomit leaving her mouth. “I know, muffin. I love you too”, Tig smiled, and stroked her back.

After what seemed like hours, Nina finally had nothing left inside her to throw up, and she curled up on the couch. “Now I’m sober… thanks”, she said sarcastically. “Give me my cigarettes”. Filip went to get her bag, and dug out her toothbrush; handing it to her. “This is all you’re putting in your mouth for now”, he said. “Add toothpaste. You smell like death”. Nina disgruntledly took the toothbrush from him, and got on her feet to go to the bathroom; grabbing the toothpaste from her bag on the way.

Once she’d finished brushing her teeth, and splashed some cold water in her face, she went back into the bar area. “You’ve kept me here for days. I wanna go back to my apartment”, she said. “You can’t. Lyla’s using it as a set today”, Tig said. Nina groaned. “They’re gonna get porn-cum on my sheets”, she said. “Wouldn’t be the first time. What was that fella’s name again…? Kirk?”, Filip laughed, and went behind the bar to pour himself a scotch, and fill a mug of coffee. Happy and T.O. came up the stairs as they spoke. “I just remember him as; Please-god-no-I-swear-I’ll-never-talk-to-her-again-guy”, Tig said indifferently. “I think Opie took care of that one”. “Nah, that was Jax himself”, Happy said. “He’s teaching history in Milwaukee now”. “The history of his once functioning penis, I gather”, Filip muttered and looked at Nina, who’d sat down by a table. “Did he know you were 17?”. “I was 19!”, Nina sneered. “And his name was… Fuck, I can’t remember… Look, call Lyla, and then take me home!”.

Filip sat down across from her, and slid the coffee over the table. Nina took a welcome sip of it. “I don’t trust you on your own”, he said softly. “Is that why you won’t give me back my gun?”, she muttered. “You remind me too much of your brother at the moment”, he replied. Rage and sadness streamed through her body, and Nina got up; kicking her chair hard, making it fall to the floor. “Then give me a goddamn bike, and I’ll hit the road. There are trucks enough out there!”. She speed across the room, trying to reach the stairs; but T.O. got in her way, and grabbed her shoulders. He pushed her backwards into Happy’s arms. He picked her up like she weighed nothing more than a small child, and deposited her on the couch. He looked down at her with enraged eyes, tears forming in the corners of them. “Don’t ever say that again! Ever!”, he growled. Nina was shook, and suddenly her body began quaking. She sobbed quietly, and covered her eyes with her hands. Happy sat down next to her, and pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry”, she whimpered. “I know, princess”. He rocked her back and forth, and kissed the top of her head.

Nina looked up, and was struck by each of the Sons’ expressions; ranging from sad, to angry, to pained. “I can’t stop fucking up… All I do is hurt people…”, she sobbed. Filip reached his hands out, and Happy released her to take them, and be pulled into the president’s embrace. “You are pure light, my love”, he said, before cupping her tear-streaked face in his hands. “Stop trying to snuff it out… I’m not talking about threatening to off yourself; we both know that will never happen, because we won’t allow it”. He pressed his forehead to hers. “You have to stop thinking of yourself like a failure not worthy of happiness. Stop killing that flame inside you”. “But I can’t be happy…”, Nina croaked. “If I try to be…”. She halted herself. She hadn’t told anyone of her deal with Danielle. “Tell me…”, Filip said. “I can’t”, Nina replied resolutely. “It’s… life or death”.

She pulled herself out of his grasp, and went for her cigarettes; which Tig had put on the top shelf behind the bar. He didn’t try to stop her. “Everything we do is life or death”, T.O. said. It was the first words he’d spoken since he’d arrived, but they were poignant. Nina lit her cigarette, and hesitantly met his eyes. “This is different”, she said. “If it was just… No”. She took a draw of her cigarette, picked up the chair from the floor, and sat down by the table again. “This is how it is now. I’m home, and I’ll try to… be better”.

They were interrupted by Quinn coming up the stairs. He looked around at the emotional faces in the room, and frowned. “Did you guys watch the Notebook again?”, he asked with a smirk. “Whatever; wrap it up. We got the in-laws incoming”. Nina frowned in confusion. “What’s going on?”, she asked. Filip gave her a half smile. “You wanted to go home; didn’t you…?”.

A roar of motorcycles sounded from outside, and Nina looked out of the window. A group of bikes came down the street, led by a brusque looking man on a roadking – handlebars high as the sky.

---

tag: @cole-winchester @doloreschanal

[vilehated]

what draws you to eliv thade (both the character and ship with gilly)?

first and foremost, we must be honest, a lot of Thade's appeal is simply that he looks very cool. I think the core of the interest must be what unites lots of Thade enthusiasts together; we all seem to have a consensus of "man... evil split face ghost kacheek... SO COOL!!" If i had to guess the very original thought that incepted Eliv Thade in the first place, it was probably something along the lines of "kacheeks are cute, small, sweet little guys... so what if one was a crazy evil monster lol". And, it seems this resonated with many people throughout the ages. Like yes... yeah... as appealing as seeing an evil Pikachu, lets say.

but of course, what temps us into actually exploring Eliv Thade as a character within a narrative is the original flash game and then the tidbits of lore we get. There's truly not much ABOUT Thade out there, quantifiably, but I think what is there just makes you wonder... who was he. It's a very tempting question to attempt to answer, right?

I would say what feels like the richest vein to tap into is the fact that Thade's death is, more or less one of those 'died from madness' type of explanations. But as a person who is very interested in exploring mental illness in characters, I always want to extrapolate on what it would mean to 'go insane', and die from that. I know, perhaps the people who wrote this backstory weren't imagining anything more than a maniac cackling to himself at his desk and then being mindbroken by a single puzzle and flopping over dead... mm but I believe it simply would be more harrowing than that, in reality. Or rather, I know it would be, if we explored it seriously.

Also, for Eliv Thade to have only been known, remembered, and defined by his puzzle solving genius... while , seeming to be someone who looks down on others... It makes me feel like this was a guy who never really loved anyone, nor was especially loved himself. Either no one was able to get through to him, or there wasn’t anyone trying in the first place... Regardless, it’s all rather tragic, actually, to think about. A little dose of misery, behind the egomania.

Mmm but I like that he’s also just this OP ghost that seems to like torment people in his evil mansion of misery and like kills and buries people in his basement. Oh a real lunatic you know. This is what I think about you stupid little peons... *makes you solve my puzzles or DIE*

I am not usually an older guy/younger girl shipper, but every now and then I get the appeal. Specifically, it’s the thought of Eliv Thade having this whole miserable history, and then having his life change after he meets Gilly, who comparatively has had very little experiences. Just having spent SO many years SO very uninterested in others, feeling understimulated, uninterested, BORED!! disappointed, resentful! of absolutely everyone... and then meeting this young girl and going “now hold on.” It’s both very romantic and also very, funny. (I should out myself for having a turbovirgin fetish and liking when individuals have -1000 social skills. i suppose it is only put more on blast when one’s best chemistry is with a little girl.)

Mm though I’m not a “i can fix him” type of person as much as mutual corruption is enticing. Like, I believe Thade and Gilly can get a lot out of one another potentially, but this isn’t about ‘fixing’ him... It’s about meeting someone you wind up being mysteriously compatible with.

For Gilly’s canon we mostly crib what we know about her in Tale of Woe; that she’s very patient and understanding and willing to forgive and work with someone, even if they’re offputting and scary, or attack her outright... Etc. A very resilient girl. Clever, quick-thinker, adaptable... I like to envision her on the mature side for a kid, bookish? I also like to think her bad luck is due to to a subconscious magnetism she has to ‘bad’ places/people. Uncontrollably drawn to the Haunted Woods, and destined to wander into danger...

I do also like how Gilly looks though <3 I’m simple and like the little hood, skirt, that she has bangs, is a redhead. I’m like yes. Kissy kiss. I think Usul and Kacheeks are a nice species pairing honestly. Good sizes and shapes next to each other. They feel like matching girl and boy squirrel-y things.

Hm what else... I think I was allured to the ship by others’ fanart as well, depicting interactions between Thade and Gilly that were on the playful side. I like some of the HCs people have come up with for them. Though! I wanted to put my own spin on it, too, so I was compelled to draw and write my own stuff. ^^ I find myself wanting there to be more emphasis on the fact that Thade did like, at some point torment her and threaten to kill her slkdfdghg... like well, the onset of whatever relationship they have (platonic or not) would have to begin with. Gilly walking into his home and him being like ‘ESVOL MY ZUPZLE OR DIE FOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ and this i think is just intrinsically um. Like interesting but VERY WEIRD! lol. eccentric no matter what I guess. you are friends with a crazy murderer mans ok let’s not forget the foundation here... pshfh.