#I need to stop treating everything like a rejection when I know it isn't

[shima-draws]

AGH.

[witherby]

Please help a starving Anon..... I need more Mother Hen Hal from you...The way you write him and the characters are so good and perfect(idc if anyone disagrees), i am dying../silly/nf

It can have anything you wish to add, maybe a sprinkle of hurt/comfort (let's not forget the queers(BatLantern) too/verysilly)/lh

Yeah, you can absolutely have more mother hen Hal!!! This one is a little early in the relationship, pre-Flittermouse, and Dick-centric.

The Littlest Wayne: Mother Hen (Dick)

"B! Thanks for coming to get —"

Dick stops and tilts his head as the window of the Lambo rolls down. It's not Bruce, here to pick him up from a celebration at Titan's Tower he was just a smidge too drunk to drive himself home from.

It's Hal.

"Hi, kid," he greets. "Bruce was asleep when you texted. I told him to chill out and I'd get you instead."

"Oh, hi," Dick says, a little off-kilter. His grin only wanes a little. "Yeah. Okay."

He walks around the car and climbs into the front passenger seat, brows furrowed. It's the first time they've been alone together since Bruce told the boys that they started seeing each other.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Have you eaten in a while? Might hit a drive-through before we get back. My treat as long as you don't tell Alfred."

Dick nods slowly, staring at Hal like he can't quite figure everything out. Hal just shoots him an easy smile, then focuses his attention on the road.

They're quiet for a while, the radio playing some top 10 hit softly through the speakers neither one of them recognizes. When Hal pulls up to order them some food (and how curious that he knows Dick's usual) then waves away Dick's effort to pay, the man can't help but say something.

"You don't... have to do that."

"It's like thirty bucks, champ. I've got it," Hal chuckles.

"I don't mean the food."

Hal looks at Dick curiously. It's probably the fact that he's still pretty sloshed, but he feels especially vulnerable in the car with him, and can't quite keep his thoughts to himself.

"You don't have to pretend to care about Bruce's kids just because you're dating Bruce." Even as he says it, he knows it was mean and dismissive. Dick chews on the inside of his cheek and can't figure out how to take that back, so he stops talking.

Hal doesn't respond. Dick can't make himself look at Hal's face, so he fiddles with the Nightwing charm dangling off his cellphone.

"Here's your meal, sir. Enjoy," says a fast food employee. Hal thanks her quickly, then pulls into a parking lot and kills the engine. Dick listens to him rustle through the bag and sort out what belongs to whom for a minute, then gently takes his portion from him when it's offered.

"Hey," says Hal. Dick pretends he's too preoccupied with opening the sauce packet for his chicken nuggets to look up. "Okay. I'd probably be a little skittish after dropping a bomb like that, too. So, just listen for a sec, okay?"

"Kay," he mumbles through a mouthful of fries, trying very hard not to feel like he's eight years old and sitting in Commissioner Gordon's office, waiting to find out if Bruce will assume guardianship and take him home, waiting to see if he'd be accepted or rejected.

"I think Bruce is it for me."

Hmm. Okay, not the words he expected to hear, but Dick is listening.

"You've probably heard that from his exes before. Something about Bruce is just...captivating. He's got his own gravitational pull, and I'm not interested in getting knocked outta orbit."

Hal pops a couple fries in his mouth. Dick sees his shoulders shrug in his periphery.

"I'm in love with him, is the point. Have been for a few years now, but I didn't think it was reciprocal until that battle in Coast City. But Bruce isn't just Bruce, is he?"

Hal reaches across the center console to gently squeeze Dick's knee.

"He's Bruce, and Dick, and Jason, and Tim, and Damian. He's got a whole gaggle of wonderful sons I'd love to get to know."

"We've worked together tons of times before," Dick says. He's barely picking at his food, too busy trying to figure out Hal's point.

"Sure. I've worked with Nightwing a lot. But that's not all you are. I don't really know anything about Dick Grayson, and I'd really like to."

Hal pulls his hand away and picks up his burger to take a bite.

"All this to say...I know you guys are mostly grown. You're used to having one parent and don't really need another one, and, damn, I don't know the first thing about any of that. But I'm in this for the long haul, and you can rely on me. I don't want any of you believing you're just an afterthought to me. Okay?"

Oh. Oh.

In lieu of an answer, and also because his throat feels too tight to speak, Dick just nods and goes back to eating. They finish their food in silence and Hal gets out to dispose of the trash, then turns the engine again to take him the rest of the way home. As he parks and they leave the garage, Dick throws his arms around Hal. He pretends the stinging in his eyes is some weird effect from the alcohol when Hal hugs him back just as tight.

"Goodnight, kid," he murmurs. "Go take a glass of water and some ibuprofen to bed with you for that hangover in the morning."

"Yes, mom," Dick snorts, teasing, but he detours to the kitchen with a shy little grin anyway.

[badgalsasuke]

Hi, do you think Sakura has unconditional love for Sasuke, I always thought her love was superficial, but many people think it's unconditional

hello anon!

No, Sakura does not have unconditional love for Sasuke. As you said, her love for him is very much superficial and there's several instances in the manga that prove this. I'm gonna also show you the difference in Sakura and Naruto's love for Sasuke so you can truly see how superficial Sakura's infatuation for Sasuke is when it's contrasted with someone else's love for that same person.

We see how Sakura doesn't take Sasuke's pain and trauma as a survivor of the mass murder of his clan seriously twice. The first time in ch. 3 where Sakura mocks Naruto for being an orphan in front of Sasuke, another orphan, who then calls her out for it. If Sakura who apparently had had a crush on Sasuke for years at this point, she'd have enough empathy to know this isn't the way to treat kids with no family, especially if your crush happens to be one of those kids.

Sakura seems affected by his harsh words but then, in chapter 181 we see that she really hasn't changed her behaviour nor does she really care about Sasuke's past. To begin with, for Sakura that moment of Sasuke calling her out for her nasty behavior and standing up for Naruto was romantic between the two her and Sasuke, whereas for Sasuke it was important because he defended Naruto.

We also see how as Sasuke prepares to leave the village Sakura starts to talk about how revenge isn't the way to go and he won't achieve happiness through it, but then she goes and makes it about herself which pisses off Sasuke hence him saying "I knew it", Sakura hadn't grow after all this time. This wouldn't be the only time Sakura makes everything about herself.

And for a second time she belittles Sasuke's trauma by stating that even though she has family and friends, not having her crush by her side will make her very lonely just like the way Sasuke had showed her what it meant to be lonely, not once thinking of how insensitive it is to say such thing to a genocide survivor. Sasuke thinks of Naruto and Sakura, because once again Sakura is disregarding Naruto's existence.

Even though Sakura is attempting to stop Sasuke from leaving by telling him it wouldn't make anyone happy, she grows more and more desperate when she sees how her words have no effect on him that she completely tosses all that aside and goes y'know what let me go with you because all I care about is me being with my crush, everything else be damned. Compare that to Naruto saying that he will break Sasuke's bones if that's what it takes to take him back to the village and stop him from going to Orochimaru, that's how little backbone Sakura has. So Sasuke tells her once again she's being annoying and knocks her out.

Another time we see how shallow Sakura's feelings for Sasuke actually are is during the summit arc. Sasuke attacks the Kage summit and basically everyone agrees he needs to be executed, included Sakura. While Sakura was plotting on killing Sasuke once he stepped out of line Naruto was trying to understand his pain and why he had taken the path that he did, on top of that, everytime someone told him to give up on Sasuke and let them execute him he profusely refused to the point he got a panic attack and passed out.

The difference in their reactions is day and night, that's how different their devotion for Sasuke is.

We continue to see the stark contrast in Sakura and Naruto's feelings once they finally meet Sasuke at the bridge. Naruto is seeking to understand Sasuke after everyone told him to give him up, even Itachi had told him that eventually he will have to choose between Sasuke or the village, a notion that Naruto vehemently rejected.

Sakura, on the other hand, refuses to understand Sasuke. The minute she sees him she's like "he's different" and attempts to kill him without trying to see where he's coming from.

Naruto then reveals that he was told the truth about Itachi and his family, information Sakura isn't privy to and would *never* show interest in getting to know in the next chapters. While Sakura showed Sasuke that she was willing to kill him twice, Naruto tells Sasuke that he's not going to lose to him in battle and get killed just like he also won't kill Sasuke. Kishimoto had said it in an interview, Sakura gives up on Sasuke but Naruto never does [full interview here LINK].

Another instance of Sakura showcasing how shallow her feelings for Sasuke are is during the last arc, when she makes her final love confession.

The moments prior to her confession Sasuke talks about how we wants to change the world and all that. Now, don't get me wrong, things in the shinobi world are wrong and complicated but the way Sasuke intented to fix them weren't the way to go either. Yet Sakura exercised zero listening comprehension and instead made everything all about herself and how she feels and how if Sasuke has a place for her in his heart then he ought to not leave her so things can go back to what they were which... girl he just said he doesn't want to go back to how things were. But it shows you how little she cares about Sasuke and how *he* feels.

On top of that, Sakura also acknowledges that she actually doesn't know Sasuke at all. She can't get close to him or exchange blows with him the way Naruto does. In the end, Sasuke gets annoyed and puts her under a genjutsu.

Once again, compare how Sakura reacts to Sasuke's pain and makes it all about how she feels to the way Naruto reacts. Sasuke acknowledges Naruto is the only one that never tried to cut him off and then Naruto also tells him that the reason why he can't leave Sasuke alone is because it hurts him to see Sasuke hurt himself. Naruto's love for Sasuke is selfless while Sakura's is self-interested.

Lastly, we see in Naruto Gaiden how when Sarada starts inquiring about her dad Sakura really can't answer with certainty questions about Sasuke. Not just that, she doesn't even realize what's going on with Sarada.

Sakura made Sarada cry and couldn't even grant her some relief regarding her father but Naruto got Sarada blushing and smiling. Once again, it's totally different the way Naruto reacts to Sarada's dismay and he is actually able to put her at ease and reassure her.

The feelings both Sakura and Naruto have for Sasuke end up reflected on Sasuke's child.

Kishimoto is very consistent in his writing on the type of love Sakura professes Sasuke and it's neither deep nor unconditional.

[measuredingold]

with you, anywhere will be my home

author’s note: hiiiiiiiii. it’s been a minute, huh ? i’ve honestly been sitting on this for 2 weeks 😅 but happy i’m able to finally get this out for yall ! think of it as a v-day treat 🥰 i love this universe i built with folio and reader and have so many ideas for them lol as always, please enjoy and feedback is appreciated ! and requests are open btw, i’m in a rut and am not sure what people wanna read :) title a translated lyric from bts’ song home

pairing: nick folio x reader

word count: 2.2k

cross posted on ao3

cw/tw: miscommunication 🤥, fluff fluff fluffffff, first time saying i love you, nick is so smitten with reader it makes me sick, 18+ minors do not interact

It's almost a no brainer when Nick decides to ask you to move in.

It makes perfect sense. You're always together when he's home, switching between one place or the other, and it just makes a lot more sense than having your own separate spaces. He doesn't want to be separate anymore. He wants to know that when he's coming back from tour he's coming home to you, in a space you both share and make your own.

There's only one hiccup to this no brainer decision - he hasn’t even said I love you yet. Neither have you.

It's only been 9 months. Not a full year yet, but Nick thinks by month one he was fully in love with you. He might've been from the jump. You were the only person he thought about, the only person he yearned for. Which is crazy to think, because Nick's sure he's never yearned for a single person a day in his life. But it's different when it comes to you.

You're who he sees when he thinks about the future. When he plans out the rest of his life, coming up with every single possibility that could happen between now and then, you somehow manage to be in every single scenario. At first it was jarring, you popping up into his future daydreams, but now it's comforting.

If you asked him right now to spend the rest of his life with you, he'd say yes before you even finished your sentence.

So why hasn't he said it yet? Hell if he knows.

It's not that he doesn't think you love him because deep down he knows you do. Can see it in the way you look at him, in the way you smile, in the small gestures that you make. He stares at you just the same, smile way too big that it hurts his fucking face, and those same small gestures.

You love him the way he loves you.

Which is why he's decided that when he asks you to move in with him, he's just going to say it. No more silent looks and shared smiles when saying goodbye. Nick doesn't think he can go another day without telling you that he loves you. It's corny, but he needs you and just about everyone in a hundred mile radius to know immediately.

So, he'll tell you tomorrow. Easy.

...

Not easy.

Nick never thought he was much of the anxious type, yet here he was pacing outside your front door. He felt hot, hands clammy as he stared at the only thing separating the two of you. He has a key. He can let himself in. Yet, he can't seem to get himself to do it.

Because he knows once he goes in, there's no going back.

He isn't scared of your rejection because he knows that's not the likely outcome. He knows you love him. He thinks he may be a bit scared of what comes next. This is probably the most serious relationship he's ever been in, and he doesn't want to fuck that up. He doesn't think that he would, intentionally at least, but the what if of a hypothetical fuck up has been eating at him for hours.

His eyes flutter shut as he takes in a long deep breath before he finally braves unlocking your door.

His hand shakes as he twists the handle and he mentally swears at himself to fucking calm down, it’s just you, everything’s fine, but when he finally sees you, it’s like the world stops for just a moment. You look up at Nick from your couch, book in your lap, and the smile that spreads across your face makes Nick relax for maybe a split second.

"Hey baby."

"Hi."

He doesn't move, just stares at you from where he's standing, and your expression turns from happy to amused, arms crossing over your chest.

"Babe?"

He blinks. "Yeah?"

"...Whatcha' doin?"

"Um." His face burns at the sound of your giggle at his unusual behavior, but truthfully he doesn't know how to act right now. "Standin'."

"Oh yeah?" You arch a brow at him, more laughter escaping. "Why don't you quit standin' and come sit with me? I missed you."

He'd been gone a few days, out in California to put down some tracks for the new album. He'd just gotten home the day before when he decided he was going to ask you to move in with him because he couldn't stand coming back to an empty home. Nick blinks at you again before he smiles, warmth spreading across his chest as he looks at you seated on the couch.

This is what he wanted to come home to. He wanted to come home after a tour, or after a few weeks in California laying down some drums, to you reading your book on the couch.

"It was only a few days." He hums out and makes his way towards you, flopping himself down beside you.

"I always miss you when you're gone." You shrug before pouting at him. "Did you not miss me?"

His heart speeds up, pounding against his chest and he immediately shakes his head. "I wasn't saying that I didn't-"

"I was just messing with you," You cut him off with a laugh, face softening as you looked at him. "What's goin' on? You're acting weird."

Nick chews on his bottom lip before moving his gaze to the muted television, shoulders going up into a shrug. " 'm not acting weird."

"Yes, you are."

Okay. He is. He knows it and he knows you know it, but he just isn't sure what to say. How do people bring this up? Hey, I'm in love with you. Let's live together. It seems easy enough to say in his head but the second he gazes at you again, his words fall short.

So much for easy.

"I..." Nick starts and then sighs, sliding a hand down his face. "You ever have something to say, but just don't know how to say it? In my head it's so easy but every time I try to get the words out, I lose everything I even wanted to say."

Your face softens. "What happened?"

"What?"

"Something happened when you were gone." Your eyes narrow. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened." He mumbles out, eyeing you for a moment. "I just... realized something, but I don't know how to tell you."

"Oh."

For some reason, the detached tone in your voice makes his stomach turn. You shift on the couch, moving your eyes away from him as you look to the side. It's silent between the two of you now and Nick hates it. It's never felt this awkward before. Uncomfortable. He fucking hates it.

"Babe-"

You cut him off. "...Did I do something?"

"No." He's quick with his response, shaking his head quickly. "Fuck. No, you didn't do anything."

His stomach turns at the way you don't respond and wrap your arms around yourself, your arms being some form of protection. From him. Fuck. That's definitely not what he wanted to do. He shakes his head again, eyes pleading as he reaches out for you.

"You didn't do anything."

"Well, it sure feels like I did." You laugh, strained, and Nick swallows down whatever lump was building in his throat. "This feels awfully like a break-up, Nick."

"What?" His voice comes out a lot louder than he expected, and he hates the way his heart breaks beneath his chest at the sad look you finally give him. "I am not breaking up with you. That is not what's happening."

"Then what's happening, Nick?" You whine out, lips dipping into a frown. "You're being weird and saying you have something to tell me but don't know how to tell me. That sounds a lot like I want to break up with you, but I don't know how to tell you."

Nick pauses for a moment, eyes scanning over your face before he breathes out a quiet "Fuck," and shuts his eyes.

He messed up - majorly.

All he had to do was just fucking tell you that he loved you and this would've been all avoided, but instead he had to go and do whatever the fuck this was.

"Babe, listen to me." His eyes open to find you still staring at him, your frown somehow much deeper than it was moments ago. He hesitantly reaches out, silently asking if it was alright to touch you. You nod. He's gentle when he slips your arms away from yourself, finally able to slide his fingers in between yours. "This... I'm not breaking up with you, okay? I'd be fucking crazy to do that."

You don't say anything, just stare at him with that same sad look. He sighs.

"What I realized is that like," He pauses, searching his brain for the right words. "I like coming home to you. After a short tour, or a long one, it feels... good to know that once I'm off that plane, I'm coming back to you."

Your eyes soften momentarily. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He smiles, small and a bit timid, and continues. "Then it made me realize that I'd really love to have a place to call home, you know? Instead of doing all this back and forth. It's fine if that's what you want to keep doing, but I think I'd really like to have a home... with you."

The silence ringing between you two makes his stomach turn. You stare at him, wide eyed and mouth open and the nerves from before come back because he thinks he may have fucked up, but then your hand squeezes his. He can see the tears welling in your eyes now and he watches you blink them away.

"...With me?"

"Yeah?" He's nervous, not sure how to take your response. "If that's okay? Like I said, we can keep doing what we've been doing. Back and forth between here and my place if that's what you want, I don't mind-"

His words are cut off by your lips, a bruising kiss suffocating whatever he wanted to say. His eyes widen for a moment before they flutter shut and he finally kisses back, before chuckling softly against your lips. You sniffle.

"Are you telling me you want to move-in together?"

Nick notices the first tear that falls when he pulls back, reaching a hand up and brushing it away with his thumb. His timid smile grows at the feeling of you nuzzling into his touch.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm telling you."

"Are you sure?" You actually sound nervous, staring at him with wide eyes as you asked.

"Of course I'm sure," He doesn't have to think twice, words falling from his lips with ease, "I love you. I want this, if you do."

It takes him a second to realize he had said it, and feels slightly embarrassed at the butterflies filling his stomach at how easy it was to say. His face flushes as your eyes widen more, lips parting as the weight of his words dawn on you.

"...You love me?"

His stomach turns again, and he nods slowly. "Yeah?"

"How long?"

"I think I loved you from the start." He replies sheepishly, cheeks burning at the wide smile you give him.

You blink away your tears again, leaning more into his palm that's still rested against your cheek. "I think I have, too."

Your words are soft, almost inaudible, but he hears it. His stomach turns and he can feel his heart pounding against his chest. His entire face burns and his ears are probably red, too, but fuck it. He doesn't care.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." Your wide smile falls into something softer, much smaller, and he swears your eyes twinkle as you hum out, "I love you."

Nick doesn't know what to say besides smile at you, cheeks immediately hurting at how wide it's stretched across his face. "I love you, too."

"And I really want to live with you." You rush out. "I've been thinking about that too but I was worried I was moving too fast. Didn't want to scare you."

"Honey," He starts with a chuckle, "I think you could've asked me two weeks in and I would've straight up said you know what? Hell yeah."

You laugh, all thick with emotion and fucking beautiful that Nick can't help but lean in and press his lips against yours again. Your arms raise to wrap around your shoulders to bring him closer to you and he can't help but make a noise, a happy sound, and deepen the kiss. You pull away first this time, forehead resting against his.

"So, we're doing this?"

"Yeah. I think we are."

The two of you smile at each other in silence and Nick wishes nothing more than to bask in this moment a little longer. He doesn't know if he's ever felt happier. Knowing that you love him right back makes him feel things he wasn't sure he's ever felt before. It's in that moment, with the way you're staring at him like he hangs up the fucking moon and the stars, that he's going to ask you to marry him someday.

And it makes him feel damn good knowing that you'll say yes.

[ennas-aesthetic]

What the fuck is Jesus up to in Good Omens season 3?

This is a question I've been thinking long and hard these past couple of days and I have some THOUGHTS SO. Buckle up.

Aziraphale and Crowley watching the Crucifixion (Good Omens, 2019)

First off. The answer to the question posited is relatively simple. What is Jesus up to in GO3? With s2's ending in mind and with the hints we've gotten for 668: Neighbor of the Beast over the years, we know he's descending to Earth to initiate the Second Coming. And that Aziraphale would probably make that happen - or do everything that he can as Supreme Archangel to sabotage it.

But I wanted to examine on how Jesus might fit into Good Omens' overall narratives and established themes - about morality and humanism and free will, and. I'm just saying, there are A LOT of fascinating routes they could do for his character.

(Disclaimer as usual: this is a theory that I obsessed over when I was stuck at the cemetery during All Souls' Day and must be treated as such. In no way am I insisting this should be how canon events must happen. I am just doing this for the funsies.)

The THING about Jesus if you situate him in the world of Good Omens (with the assumption that most of the pop culture Christology mythos associated with him remain intact) is that in this context he very quickly becomes: 1. Adam Young's narrative foil; and 2. an Aziraphale parallel.

Now, the first one is obvious. Of COURSE he is Adam Young's foil, duh. Adam isn't called the ANTICHRIST for nothing. Brought into the world just for the sole purpose of ending it. However, when the time comes for him to fulfill the Will of his Satanic Father, Adam flat out REFUSES.

Both the book and the show attribute this to Adam's human upbringing. He was raised as a human, and because of that he has the trait that the book uses to DEFINE human beings: free will. At the end, Adam had the AGENCY to reject the destiny planned out for him.

'Adam stood smiling at the two of them, a small figure perfectly poised exactly between Heaven and Hell.

Crowley grabbed Aziraphale's arm. "You know what happened?" he hissed excitedly. "He was left alone! He grew up human! He's not Evil Incarnate or Good Incarnate, he's just… a human incarnate—"'

- (Good Omens, 1990)

That is NOT what happened to Jesus.

Adam Bond as Jesus in Good Omens (2019)

Like Adam, he was raised as a human -- being a human incarnate was his WHOLE DEAL in Christology. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us... yada yada yada.

UNLIKE, Adam, though, Jesus wasn't able to REJECT his Destiny of Dying Really Horribly and Painfully on the Cross. Narratives in the Bible also made it clear that the Crucifixion was NOT his Will, but that of God's. Like... him begging to be spared from torment but ultimately following God's Will is such an important event entire devotional practices are made out of it.

"39 And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."

- (Matthew 26: 39, KJV)

We get a glimpse of that in s1ep3 of Good Omens, too:

"JESUS

(muttering through the pain)

Father, please . . . you have to forgive them . . . they don’t know what they are doing . . .

Crowley, in black, comes up next to Aziraphale.

CROWLEY

You’ve come to smirk at the poor bugger, have you?

AZIRAPHALE

Smirk? Me?

CROWLEY

Well, your lot put him on there.

AZIRAPHALE

I am not consulted on policy decisions, Crawley."

- (The Quite Nice and Fairly Accurate Good Omens Script Book, 2018)

SO. Here we have the character of the Christ whose free will and agency had been STRIPPED from him in the guise of a "noble sacrifice." He comes back again on this Earth to fulfill another "inescapable destiny."

Aziraphale and Crowley need to stop him. The solution the Good Omens narrative offers to "inescapable destinies and systems" (both in s1 and s2) is for the character to realize they have the freedom to choose their own fates. It happened with Adam, and it happened with Gabriel, and perhaps it will happen to Jesus.

(At this point my sister frowned and said: "Are you telling me you think Aziraphale and Crowley are going to help Jesus realize he has agency and that him Dying on the Cross for the 'Great Plan' was kinda fucked up actually?" which sounds crazy when you put it like that BUT NEVER SAY NEVER BABIE.)

Because that brings me to my second point: if this all happens, Jesus becomes an AZIRAPHALE parallel.

In the same way Anathema is an Aziraphale parallel and Sergeant Shadwell is an Aziraphale parallel. Here is a character stuck in a suffocating status quo. To save the world, he needs to know he can escape that status quo and decide for himself. In the same way Anathema has to learn how to stop being a descendant or Shadwell to stop being a Witchfinder, or Gabriel to stop being an Archangel, and Adam to stop being an Antichrist, perhaps Jesus has to learn he can stop being... Well, the Christ, as well.

And this, of course, supplements Aziraphale's journey of letting go of the idea of being an idealized vessel of God, so he could finally enjoy the freedom of personhood and choice on Earth, with Crowley.

Or they could turn Jesus into a cackling villain who Aziraphale and Crowley need to kill in season 3, and I'd probably eat that up, too.

[rottingmalice]

mizuena/ena5 incoherent rant below bc i love them so much im losing my mind

I can't stop thinking about how much of mizuki's conflict in prsk is resolved entirely by ena's actions, not mizuki's own, and that's actually really fucking good. hear me out.

One of the driving emotions for Mizuki's conflict is obviously fear; she's afraid of being left once people know her secret, she's afraid she can only ever have shallow connections with people who wouldn't really accept her as who she is, she's afraid of losing the few friends she has and the one space where she feels like she can express herself through their shared art.

But beyond that, the other driving emotion for her is guilt. She feels guilty that she's been "deceiving" everyone else, she feels guilty that she's left Ena waiting for so long without telling her her secret, she feels guilty that everyone else seems to be moving forward and facing their fears while she seemingly can't. And when her secret is revealed, the strongest emotion she's going through isn't her fear of being left behind, it's the guilt that's been eating her away from the inside.

She tells ena that it can't be the same, that now ena won't be able to treat her the same, that she knows Ena and Kanade and Mafuyu are so kind they'll smile and tell her they're fine with it, but that they'll just be forcing themselves for the sake of kindness. That they'd rather not have to deal with everything that makes Mizuki complicated, but they would anyway because they're kind like that. That she can't bear that. She doesn't deserve that.

And all of this guilt is so real for this young trans girl to feel because it's what we're pushed towards constantly, even when we're supposedly accepted for who we are. The lie that we're deceiving others when we present as our own gender is so deeply written into our collective psyche, and even beyond that, even in "progressive" spaces, the violence we suffer is often treated as our own burden to bear, as something we have to deal with and not burden other people with.

So many basic bitch stories about trans women, with trans women protags written by cis people, have them struggle and "grow" as the story progresses, having to "face their fears", to come out to people they're scared of leaving them, to "trust their loved ones" and take that first step. I think a lot about The Missing, a game that gets a lot of the horror of being a trans girl and yet still has the protagonist, who is so terrified of how her mom would react to her coming out she tries to end her own life, learn the lesson that she should come out anyway, trust this person that's only given her reasons to fear her, because that's the only way for her to move forward.

Mizuki doesn't do that. She doesn't have to. Mizu5 is all about the horror of being outed before you're ready to come out yourself, even to someone you know would show you kindness. And it allows Mizuki to stew in her own guilt, the guilt that she never faced her fears herself, that she's burdening N25 with her suffering. But Ena5 is about Ena, so patient and unwilling to hurt Mizuki, finally being moved to action by kaito and meiko agreeing that it's up to her to be selfish and try to bring Mizuki back, to recognize that Mizuki doesn't want to be alone.

It's up to Ena to do the scary thing, for her to be open and vulnerable about her feelings. For her to go up to Mizuki, despite being ignored for so long, as someone who is so sensitive to being ignored- to being rejected- and to tell Mizuki what she needs- and deserves- to hear. That she's wanted. That Ena doesn't care if Mizuki thinks she deserves it or not, that Mizuki's guilt shouldn't factor in because Ena wants Mizuki beside her.

It's the ultimate transfem fantasy because it's the fantasy of being truly wanted, of being unconditionally loved. It's the fantasy of someone seeing you for who you are, and not just "accepting you" as if it's a favor they're doing you, but going as far as telling you that the way you've been conditioned by a lifetime of violence to feel and act to protect yourself is NOT your fault, it's NOT just your responsibility to deal with, that you deserve someone who will go through the effort of digging you out of that hole and that you're not a burden for needing that.

In a lot of subtle ways, Mizuki's story feels 1000% written by people who understand trans girls so far beyond the scope of the usual explaining-transness-to-cis-people style of narrative, even understanding ways that these narratives fuck up routinely and also understanding exactly what is needed to sneak this into a highly commercial hatsune miku gacha game. There's a lot of compromises made there for the sake of being this kind of story in this kind of game, but what we get in return is so much more meaningful as a transfem narrative than anything of similar popularity that I can think of, it fills me with so much emotion and I truly can't fathom believing it's somehow "bait" or "not real rep" unless you've never had to think about transmisogyny and how it emotionally affects you to this degree.

I'll never stop thinking about them. Congrats on the wedding mizuki and ena. someone like ena is exactly what every trans girl deserves, and never has someone proven herself more deserving of a trans girl's love than ena. i love them both so much my heart feels like it's going to explode whenever i think of them. huge thanks to everyone involved in creating their story

[xomakara]

Crossing Boundaries

(re-posting from my old account seulrinnie-rinrin/xomakara-secondary)

SUMMARY | You are older than Wooyoung by two years and is best friends with his older brother, so you always saw Wooyoung as a younger brother. But Wooyoung wants to be so much more than a younger brother. PAIRING | Wooyoung x Reader GENRE/CONTENT | non-idol!Wooyoung, older!Reader, non-idol au, romance, fluff, smut, oral sex, fingering, vaginal sex WARNINGS | A slightly older reader and younger man?? RATING | NSFW, explicit, mature, 18+ LENGTH | 8,033 words TAGLIST | — NETWORKS | AUTHOR’S NOTE | The noona in me is happy and glad to write this. Maybe the filthiest I ever wrote lol. Couldn’t exactly push to 10k but 8k words is still good enough lol

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"What's the occasion?" Wooyoung looks at you sprawled out on his bed.

"No occasion. Just needed someone to talk to." You replied after making yourself comfortable. "Your brother is goofing off who knows where and you're the only person that's here in Seoul. I have nothing better to do."

"Did you get dumped?" Wooyoung asked, watching your face. "Again?"

"I dumped him this time!" You say, deciding to let some of the frustration out. "My god he really has no fucking clue what he wants. He likes me, but thinks I'm not good enough for him? How many times do I have to hear that idiot saying those things before it finally sinks into his head that it's wrong?! I deserve someone that can give me the proper love and care! Not someone that doesn't even know how to express his feelings properly or treat me right!"

Wooyoung could be that man. Be the man that gives you proper love and care.

But he knows that you don't think of him in that way. You only see him as a little brother since you're his older brother's best friend. He didn't even care that you were older than him by two years. To him, age was just a number. So to him, there wasn't any reason why he shouldn't have fallen in love with you. You're the girl he wanted most when he was young, but never got because he was too scared to make a move on you.

"The guy is an idiot if he can't see how perfect you are for him." Wooyoung says, leaning back against his desk chair.

"Ugh, maybe I should stop dating people." You sigh. "Maybe I should stick to just reading books from now on. No dating needed at all. Reading about romance in a book is much easier and much less painful."

"Come on, noona. There are other men that would gladly date you." Wooyoung says.

"Are your roommates single?" You turned your head to look at him.

"Why?" He raised an eyebrow at you. “Thought you just said that you’re going to stop dating.”

"I need to find a really handsome guy." You said. “Just so I can get back at that stupid bastard and rub it in his face.”

"Sorry Y/N-noona," Wooyoung shrugged. "But both Hongjoong-hyung and Jongho have girlfriends. And I'm pretty sure my other friends are taken too."

"Fuck. Why do all the pretty men have to be taken?" You complained, burying your face into Wooyoung's pillow. "Even your brother isn't single."

"Like you'd ever date your best friend." Wooyoung snorted, earning himself a glare from you.

"I might have thought about it before." You admitted, returning a snort of your own. "You know there was a time where every girl wanted your brother back in high school."

"Even you?" He laughed, pinching your cheeks. "So why didn't you go after him then?"

"Because your brother only saw me as his best friend." You sighed. "It took him a long time before he realized that I was actually attracted to him. And then he rejected me. And now we laugh about it whenever we meet up together."

"And there starts your origin story of getting heartbroken and dumped every time. Every story will start with Y/N going out with a cute guy, crushing on them, and being rejected." Wooyoung mused.

"Mhm." You agreed. "One day though. One day, everything will work out for me."

"Keep dreaming." Wooyoung teased.

"Fine, fine. It won't happen soon though. Maybe I'll die alone and unfulfilled." You groaned. "You're such a buzzkill, Wooyoung."

"But the world would be dull without me." Wooyoung replied with a laugh.

You sat up in his bed, running a hand through your hair. "Let's go out and drink. I want to forget about all this shit."

"Hm?" Wooyoung raised an eyebrow.

"Drink with me." You said, standing up and taking a step towards him.

"Alright, alright." Wooyoung relented. "Where do you want to go?"

"A bar nearby." You answered, feeling more excited than usual. "Something new, I've been to the same places over and over again."

"Alright." Wooyoung nods. "But don't be picking up random guys there! I'm not gonna deal with some drunk douchebag that's trying to get in your pants. If they try something I swear to god I'll-"

"Ohhh, is my Wooyoungie jealous already?" You asked with a chuckle. "Don't worry, this noona here won't be picking up any guys. Just come out with me and drink with me. You can even invite your roommates or friends. I don't care as long as I have a few drinks in me."

"Noona, you sure?" He eyed you suspiciously. "You're not just saying that to make me feel good, are you?"

"I'm positive." You assured him. "After breaking up with that idiot, I don't even want to deal with picking up guys anymore. That's the least of my worries. Now please come drink with me. Please?"

"Alright." Wooyoung said slowly. "I guess I'll go along with you this one time."

"Thank you!" You jumped up and down excitedly. "That's all I wanted to hear! You're the best Wooyoungie."

"Yeah, yeah." Wooyoung waved you away. "Let's go get drunk."

Wooyoung watched as you laughed at something Yunho was saying to you and he couldn't help but stare at the way your lips moved, forming each word and speaking with such confidence. He had seen you laughing before but never like this. Your eyes shone bright and it seemed like the whole room lit up when you did. Seeing you smile genuinely made him happy and he wished he could have frozen that moment right there.

"You like her." San suddenly stated, shocking him out of his daze.

"What?" Wooyoung asked, looking up at the person beside him.

"Y/N-noona." San repeated, narrowing his eyes. "The way you looked at her the last time we went out drinking, I knew it. You like her. A lot."

"You're delusional." Wooyoung shook his head. "She's my older brother's best friend. She's completely off limits."

"Off limits or not, you still like her." San said. "It's okay, you can admit it."

"There's nothing to admit." Wooyoung muttered, looking back at you and smiling slightly. "Nothing to tell anyone."

"Let me guess...She see's you as a little brother, huh? Is that it?" San gave him a disbelieving look.

"Stop it." Wooyoung sighed. "San, you're annoying me."

"Okay, okay." San said with a laugh. "I'll stop talking about your precious noona."

"Great." Wooyoung rolled his eyes before gesturing to you and Yunho. "Now that we have that settled, I think it's time for me to break up whatever is going on over there."

Your laughter was angelic to his ears. The sound calmed him and the sight of your genuine happiness warmed his heart. All he wanted to do was stay there forever, basking in the bliss that is your smile. How lucky his brother was to have you as a friend. What a treasure it was to have you around.

He had never felt this way about another woman. When he first met you back in elementary school, he didn't pay attention to you because you were a tomboy. But when you entered middle school and started to become more feminine, he started noticing you more and found himself admiring the confidence you carried in yourself. Whenever he hung out with you, he always felt relaxed and refreshed. He never had trouble talking to you and he loved hearing your stories. They were entertaining and very interesting.

In all honesty, he didn't think he'd fall in love with you, but once he realized he had feelings for you, it became impossible to deny it.

Ever since he realized his feelings for you, he's tried so hard to keep himself at a distance, because he didn't want to scare you away with his crush. He didn't want to force you to like him, so he continued acting normal around you, not giving you the chance to realize that he liked you. He figured that if you never knew how he felt about you, it would just give him an excuse to keep your friendship alive. To be close to you. To see your smile and listen to your voice. He enjoyed spending time with you. He liked talking to you.

When he had a chance to get closer to you, he always decided against it, thinking it was a bad idea. After all, you were his older brother's friend.

"Noona, you doing good?" Wooyoung asked you, resting a hand on your shoulder.

"Just a little buzzed, that's all." You managed to say without slurring your words. "Yunho and Mingi has been keeping an eye on me."

"Oh yeah?" Wooyoung grinned. "You're not picking them up, are you?"

"Nooooo~" You laughed, shooing him away playfully. "I said that I wasn't going to pick up guys and I mean it!"

"You're drunk aren't you? How many drinks have you had, noona?" Wooyoung asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Seven." You announced proudly. "Three beers and four shots."

"You really need to slow down." Wooyoung frowned, shaking his head.

"How about you let me buy you a beer, so you can drink with me?" You suggested.

"I refuse." Wooyoung refused to budge.

"How about you buy me a few drinks?" You raised your eyebrows at him.

"No." Wooyoung shook his head firmly.

"How about you take me home?" You suggested, batting your eyelashes at him.

Wooyoung had to take deep breaths to calm himself down at that statement. Of course he wanted to take you home. He wanted to take you home, kiss you senseless, bend you over the table, fuck you - nonono, he couldn't think like that! Not with you as his older brother's friend! It was wrong to have these thoughts. It was wrong to want this. This can never happen.

"Alright, alright." Wooyoung said, reaching for his wallet and pulling out money. "I’ll buy you some more drinks."

“Yay!” You happily clapped your hands, accepting the money from him and quickly getting up. You grabbed Wooyoung's hand, tugging him along behind you. "Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go! Shots! Shots! Shots!”

Wooyoung let you drag him towards the bar where a few of his friends were hanging out. You were practically pulling him by his arm. Luckily, none of them minded. In fact, everyone was amused by the situation. Some were outright staring at you and chuckling. You dragged Wooyoung to the counter, pointing at bottles and making drunken demands while grabbing the bartender's attention. After a few minutes of confusion and waiting, you finally got your drinks. You held the bottle in your hands, lifting it to your mouth. You finished the whole thing before putting the bottle back on the counter.

"Gimme another one." You demanded, putting your arm around Wooyoung's waist.

"Noona." Wooyoung grumbled, placing his hands on your shoulder. “I’m taking you home. You’re drunk.”

“Nooo~~~” You whined, pouting. “Come onnnn.”

Wooyoung sighed and reluctantly handed the bartender more money. “Just one more, please.” He ordered.

As soon as he walked back to you, you wrapped your arms around his neck and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." You whispered, leaning into him.

“Shit…” Wooyoung breathed under his breath. He needed to end this now before things got out of control. He couldn't handle it, the way your face lit up, the way you leaned into him, the sweet smell of alcohol on your skin, your breath becoming heavy as you lean into him, the way your body presses against him…

He should've listened to his gut and told you to go home. Right now, his brain was screaming at him to move away from you and put space between the two of you, but his feet weren't listening to him. His body kept moving forward, like a magnet towards yours.

"Umm...yeah." He mumbled awkwardly. “We better get you home.”

"But..." You started.

"Noona." Wooyoung shook his head. "It's late and I'm not gonna let you drive home. Besides, I'm pretty sure your parents or even your sister won't be happy to find out that you came here alone and drank."

"You're probably right." You nodded before pouting. It took Wooyoung all his strength to not throw you over his shoulder. "You're still a buzzkiller."

“I know, I know. Let’s get you home.” Wooyoung agreed.

After saying your goodbyes to the rest of the group, Wooyoung guided you to the car. On the way to your house, you were almost asleep in the passenger seat. Wooyoung had to carry you to the door and place you inside the house. He carried you to your bedroom and placed you gently on the bed. You instantly fell asleep. He turned off the lights and left you sleeping peacefully.

After sending a quick message to your sister to let her know that you were home, Wooyoung left your house to go home. He was still unsettled and distracted by the thought of being near you. He hadn't gotten the chance to ask you if you had enjoyed the night. If you liked him. Maybe you were just playing along with him to tease him. He'd have to wait until tomorrow to find out.

You woke up with the worst hangover in history. You couldn't even remember what happened yesterday. Everything seemed blurry and surreal. Your head hurt, you felt nauseous and you wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. But you also wanted to know why you were in your bed. You groaned and lifted your head up, attempting to sit up, only to hit your head back on the pillow.

"Son of a bitch." You swore angrily. "Fuck…"

Your phone rang and you answered it. "You have five minutes to tell me what the fuck you want or I'm hanging up."

You heard Wooyoung laugh on the other end. "Bad hangover, noona?"

"What did I do last night?" You groaned, wincing in pain.

"You were having fun, I guess." Wooyoung shrugged. "You drank too much, that's for sure."

"Did I pass out somewhere?" You asked curiously.

"No but you nearly fell asleep in my car." Wooyoung said. "I brought you home though."

"Thanks for saving my ass." You chuckled.

"Don't mention it." Wooyoung replied. "I'd do anything for you, noona."

"Anything?" You asked with a teasing tone.

"Oh no. What's going on in that head of yours?" Wooyoung joked.

"Coffeeeeee pleaseeee." You whined into the phone. "Now."

"Yeah, okay. Ten minutes. Go shower or something while you wait." Wooyoung chuckled.

After hanging up, you laid back down on your bed and closed your eyes. You felt like shit and Wooyoung was right, you did drink too much. You should've stopped after three beers, but you wanted to keep drinking. And when someone buys you more alcohol, it becomes really easy to continue drinking, even though you feel like shit.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror, you barely recognized yourself. Your hair was messed up, there were smudges of mascara and eyeliner around your eyes, your lips were chapped and there was dried saliva stuck on your teeth. You look disgusting and definitely not presentable. As much as you hated to admit it, you needed a shower. Badly.

You went to the bathroom and hopped into the shower. The hot water helped ease some of your headache, but didn't make the hungover feeling any better. You took your time washing your hair, shampooing and conditioning it. You massaged your scalp, closing your eyes and letting out a small moan of pleasure as the warm water poured onto your skin.

After showering, you threw on some clean sweats and a t-shirt. Then you made your way downstairs. You found Wooyoung talking to Aimee, your younger sister, in the kitchen. They were laughing at something.

"Where's my coffee, Wooyoungie?" You called out, walking towards them.

"Here, you drunk." Wooyoung slid the coffee cup to you as you settled yourself on the stool. "Do you feel any better?"

"I feel like shit." You mumbled, resting your head on the countertop.

"Awhh." Wooyoung pouted, trying to hide his smile.

"Who told you to drink so much, eonni?" Your younger sister shook her head. "Let me guess. Jaehyun broke up with you?"

"I broke up with him." You retorted.

"And you needed a big, stiff drink." Aimee smirked.

"You have no idea how true that is." You laughed.

"Hey, good riddance. That relationship was doomed to fail anyway." Aimee stated. "While I'm happy that you dumped him, I'm a bit sad because Jaehyun was such a gorgeous man."

"Hey, I'm a gorgeous man!" Wooyoung pointed at himself.

Aimee raised her eyebrows. "Keep telling yourself that, Wooyoung."

"I am gorgeous." Wooyoung proclaimed.

"Whatever, loser." Aimee rolled her eyes.

You couldn't help but think that Wooyoung and your sister looked cute together. They were the same age and they always seemed to get along well whenever they spent time together. It wasn't surprising to see that they both found each other attractive, despite their differences in appearance. Their personality and sense of humor made up for it.

A part of you wanted someone as caring and funny as Wooyoung in your life, but then again, your luck in men wasn't great and you never found anyone who could treat you right. It didn't stop you from dreaming though. One day, you promised yourself, you would meet someone and he would change your mind about love and relationships. You wouldn't settle anymore, you would wait for the right guy to come along.

"Well, I hope you feel better." Wooyoung spoke up, breaking you out of your thoughts. "Do you have any plans for the day?"

"Nothing much. Probably go hang out with your brother or something. But I'm kind of tired and want to go back to sleep." You admitted, rubbing your temples.

"Why don't you just stay in today?" Aimee suggested. "I have to head to the office today anyway so I'll pick up dinner after I get off."

"Are you sure?" You asked, tilting your head.

"Yeah, it's fine." Aimee smiled. "Plus, I'd rather have a girls night with my older sister."

"I'm not included?" Wooyoung pouted.

Aimee rolled her eyes. "You're not a girl, you weirdo." She shook her head. "Besides, don't you have to go or something? Don't you have work?"

"Of course, what do you take me for?" Wooyoung laughed, shaking his head.

"Go away, you two." You moaned, head on the countertop. "Your yapping isn't helping my hangover."

Wooyoung grinned widely. "How dare you."

You reached for the coffee and gulped it down quickly. When you finished, you yawned. "I'm gonna crash now." You mumbled. "Thanks for everything, Wooyoungie. Now go to work, make that money."

"Anytime, noona." Wooyoung gave you a hug before leaving the room.

As soon as he was gone, Aimee pulled you into a tight hug. "Good job dumping Jaehyun." She whispered into your ear. "I'm so proud of you, sis."

"He deserves it." You sighed. "How can someone say they like you but then say you're not good enough for him? What kind of bullshit is that?"

"You're right." Aimee nodded. "You deserve someone better."

You hugged your sister back tightly. "Do you have any single friends? Or ex-boyfriends?" You asked hopefully.

"No eonni, I don't." Aimee laughed. "But you and I both know someone who's single."

"Who?" You inquired.

"Wooyoung, duhhhh." Aimee teased.

"Wooyoung?" You repeated, slightly taken aback. "Our Wooyoung? The Wooyoung who just left our house? The cutie-pie Wooyoung who's been our childhood friend for years? That Wooyoung?"

"That Wooyoung." Aimee giggled.

"Weird." You frowned. "I mean…of course he's single. But why? He's such a great catch."

"Maybe he's waiting for the perfect girl." Aimee suggested.

"I don't believe that for one second." You shook your head. "But if he is, I'm sure he'll meet her soon."

"Or maybe he already has." Aimee mused, a smile on her face. "Maybe he's already found that special one and she just doesn't know it yet."

"Mhmm." You hummed in agreement.

"Let's hope he doesn't have to wait too long." Your sister shook her head and grabbed her purse, making her way to the front door. "I'm heading to work now. I'll see you later, okay eonni?"

"Sure thing." You waved goodbye to her.

"Text me what you want for dinner." She instructed and you replied with a thumbs up.

You watched as your sister left the house, shutting the door behind her. You made your way to the couch and sunk into the cushions, curling up into a ball. You closed your eyes and let out a sigh, wondering if your day would get any better.

For reasons unknown, you woke up feeling incredibly horny. You had no idea why this would be happening. You haven't gotten laid in quite a few months and when you were still with Jaehyun, the both of you never even had sex. So it was extremely strange to wake up feeling this way.

Okay maybe it was that steamy movie you watched while you were indisposed on the couch. Maybe watching the couple undress and finally having sex made you yearn for some action of your own.

It had to be. Yeah.

You glanced at the clock. It was only noon and you had an entire day ahead of you. Grabbing your phone, you noticed the text messages from Wooyoung that you missed from a few hours ago. Instead of replying to him, you just decided to call him.

"Noona?" Wooyoung greeted, answering the phone immediately. "You good?"

"Yeah, I just woke up again." You huffed. "Are you done with work?"

"Yeah, I'm heading over to your place right now."

"Why?" You questioned, sitting upright. "It's only noon."

"Because you didn't answer Aimee's calls or texts so she got worried." Wooyoung explained. "I felt bad and offered to check on you. Are you okay, noona?"

"How far are you?"

"Pulling up right now. I'm hanging up."

In a few seconds, you heard the keypad to your front door opening and Wooyoung walked inside, taking his shoes off at the entrance. God, he looked so handsome standing there with his slightly disheveled hair, his crisp white shirt and jeans combo making him look casual but still appealing.

You wondered what his body looked like under his clothes and suddenly your imagination started to run wild. Nonono, you couldn't think like that. He was your best friend's younger brother! No matter how attracted you were to him, he wasn't someone you should be sleeping with. You liked him like a little brother and nothing else.

At least, you hoped so.

You pushed the unwanted thoughts out of your mind and smiled as Wooyoung made his way over to you. "Are you okay?" He asked, crouching beside you. "Hangover still bad?"

"Not too bad." You shook your head. "Did you bring me anything?"

"Yeah, here." Wooyoung handed you a bottle of water and some ibuprofen pills. "Take these. You'll feel better in no time."

"Thanks, Wooyoung." You sighed, leaning against him. "How was work?"

"It went pretty well. Hongjoong told me to go home. When your sister called me, he told me to just leave and take care of you."

You nodded. "Sounds like a good friend."

"Definitely." Wooyoung chuckled. "Do you need anything else?"

"I do but I'm not sure if it's something you could help me with." You muttered.

"What's up?" Wooyoung tilted his head. "You could tell me."

You shook your head, your cheeks slightly heating up. "Nononono, you don't need to-"

"Shhh…" Wooyoung placed a finger on your lips, silencing you instantly. "Look, I won't judge you, noona. Whatever you want, I'll try my best to give it to you."

"That's not-"

"Just relax and talk to me." Wooyoung said softly. "Please?"

You looked up at him and thought for a moment. What exactly did you want from him? Would asking him to pleasure you turn things between you and him sexual? Would he actually agree to do it? Did you really want to ask him?

All these questions raced through your mind and you bit your lip nervously. In the end, you decided to throw caution to the wind and see where this would lead you. If it ended badly, you could always cut ties with Wooyoung and go back to being just best friends.

Hopefully.

"Don't judge me okay? Please don't hate me." You breathed, looking away from Wooyoung and staring at the ground. "This might sound weird and I'm sorry if it does."

"I won't hate you, noona." Wooyoung assured you. "Whatever you need, just ask me."

The silence stretched on until you began to wonder if Wooyoung was going to speak. Then he raised an eyebrow at you and nodded once. He leaned forward slightly, giving you space to talk.

"Well...I woke up feeling...fuck, this is embarrassing to say." You huffed. "So here goes."

You took a deep breath and swallowed, telling yourself to just spit it out. You took another deep breath and braced yourself for what you were about to say.

"I..." You paused for a few moments, trying to find the right words to say. "I've been horny all morning. And I've never wanted someone so badly in my life."

Wooyoung gaped at you for a moment before covering his mouth with his hand, stifling his laughter. You stared at him in shock, your face turning bright red. Why did you just admit that? Of course he was gonna laugh. Why did you just open up to him?

"See? I knew it sounded weird!" You buried your face in your hands in embarrassment. "And now I've embarrassed myself even more."

"Calm down, noona." Wooyoung chuckled. "There's no need to be embarrassed."

You felt his hands softly gripping your thigh, stroking your skin lightly. You looked down at him and bit your lower lip anxiously. You weren't sure if he meant what he was doing as comforting or sexual.

"Sorry, I just..." You huffed, shaking your head. "I shouldn't be saying this. I shouldn't be thinking about this."

"I know, but-"

"-I'm just saying." You cut him off. "I'm not usually like this. Like, ever. And I can't believe I'm talking to you about this."

"Tell me what you want, noona." Wooyoung gently coaxed, stroking your thighs once more. "Tell me, show me how to please you."

You bit your lip nervously, feeling Wooyoung's eyes fixated on yours. You stared back at him, unsure of what to say. At the same time, you also felt empowered knowing that you could trust him with this. After all, you were opening up to him because you wanted him to know what you wanted. Right?

Right?

You gulped. "Fuck, I can't believe I'm doing this. Wooyoung..."

"Hmm? Tell me, noona." Wooyoung spoke softly, his voice somehow calming you down. "Show me how you want me to pleasure you."

"Wooyoung..." You whimpered, wanting him to kiss you but also not wanting to risk kissing him. Kissing him would make things...complicated.

"...say it. Just say it." Wooyoung repeated, running his fingers up and down your thigh. "Say whatever you want. Don't be afraid. Say it out loud."

You bit your lower lip and furrowed your brows. Fuck it all. You were just gonna go for it. You were just gonna fuck around with Wooyoung and see where this would take you. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

You grabbed his hand and placed it under your sweatpants, letting him fondle your already moist pussy through your underwear. "Fuck, I need you to finger me, eat me out. Touch me, make me come."

"Let's get rid of your sweatpants first." He let out a small chuckle. "Let's do this properly."

You let out a small moan as you felt him tug on your sweatpants, pushing them down below your hips. Your panties came next and after that, you were completely naked from the waist down. On his knees, he grabbed your hips and pulled you to sit on the edge of the couch cushions, positioning himself directly in front of you.

"Oh my god, Wooyoung..." You gasped, feeling his lips trailing small kisses up your thighs. You reached down and wrapped your fingers around his hair, encouraging him to continue.

"Tell me, noona." He asked softly, planting small kisses on your inner thighs. "What do you want?"

By no means was Wooyoung inexperienced when it came to sex. He'd gone out with quite a few women, which gave him plenty of experience. But the fact that he wanted you to tell him what to do made you feel empowered. Not only was he giving you what you wanted, he was listening to you as well. And you wanted him to know that you enjoyed having him do those things to you.

Your breathing quickened as Wooyoung continued to explore your body, kissing and licking along the sides of your thighs, brushing your folds with his tongue. You moaned as he trailed kisses along your inner thigh and began teasing your clit with his tongue. He was fucking amazing at it, using his tongue to flick the sensitive nub. With every pass, your moans grew louder and you gripped his hair tighter, encouraging him to do even more.

"Fuck..." You whispered hoarsely. "Please don't stop, Wooyoung."

Wooyoung replied with a smile. "Keep talking, noona. I want to hear what you're saying. Want to know if you're feeling good."

He continued to lick and suck on your clit while simultaneously teasing your hole with his tongue, slowly drawing your arousal to its peak. You kept your hands around his head, tugging at his hair and moaning loudly as he kept pleasuring you. His fingers ran through your wetness and brought them back to his mouth, sucking and licking them clean.

Fuck, you wanted his fingers in your mouth. Wanted to lick them, suck them dry.

As if reading your mind, he lifted his fingers to your lips. "Noona, suck my fingers." He ordered.

Reluctantly, you parted your lips and closed your teeth around his digits. You sucked hard, pulling at his fingers with your mouth. He moaned in delight and tightened his grip on your hips, guiding his fingers back to your pussy.

You wiggled beneath him, letting him push one finger inside of you. The sensation of his digits stretching your insides almost made you cry out. He then inserted a second finger, adding a third one later on. His mouth never left your pussy, though, continuing to lick you mercilessly as he slid his fingers in and out of you. Every thrust was like fire coursing through your body. It was too much and you quickly began panting heavily. You could barely think straight anymore, everything but him, his touch, his hot breath on your pussy.

His tongue was magic and you could feel your orgasm building rapidly. "Oh shit...Wooyoung, oh my god."

"Are you close, noona?" He asked you in between licks.

You whimpered, unable to form any words. All you wanted was to scream, yell out, tell him to hurry the fuck up and make you come. "Oh god...I...I can't...stop...oh god..."

Wooyoung increased his pace, sucking on your clit and rubbing his fingers against your walls. You couldn't help it. Soon enough, your orgasm hit you like a truck.

Your entire body convulsed as waves of pleasure washed over you. Your body tensed as your juices coated Wooyoung's fingers and his lips. And then you collapsed back onto the couch, gasping for air. You could feel your body shaking from your orgasm and Wooyoung grinned proudly at you.

When your heartbeat returned to normal, you sat up and patted Wooyoung on the cheek. "Wow, Wooyoung. That was incredible."

"Did I do good, noona? Are you happy?" He smiled sweetly at you, patting his hand against your ass playfully.

"Mhm, I loved it." You replied, blushing. "Thank you for indulging me."

"I'll do anything you want, noona." Wooyoung assured you, wrapping his arms around you. "Whenever you want."

"That's good to know." You smiled, leaning into him. "So, wanna keep fooling around some more?"

"Is that what you want?" He asked you with a smirk. "To keep fooling around?"

"Hell yeah." You laughed. "Can we?"

"Anything for you, noona." He grinned.

The rest of the afternoon passed in a flurry of kissing. Eventually, you two had moved into the bedroom, the rest of your clothes strewn across the floor. Wooyoung's shirt and jeans were tossed to the side of the bed and you noticed that he was only wearing boxers. You stared at his abs, tracing your fingers along the line of his stomach muscles.

You kissed him deeply, knowing that kissing him was going to get complicated. But you didn't care. Who cares if things got complicated. You'll reach that hurdle eventually anyway. Right?

"My turn." You murmured against his lips. He sat on the edge of the bed as you dropped to your knees in front of him. "I wanna taste you, Wooyoung."

He moaned at your words, reaching down and running his hands through your hair. "You don't have to do this for me, noona..."

"But I want to. Please, Wooyoung?" You pleaded with him, licking your lips seductively. "Please let me taste you."

"You're not drunk, are you?" He teased, chuckling slightly.

You laughed as well, biting your bottom lip. "Nope, just trying to cure a hangover."

Wooyoung smirked. "Then taste me whenever you want, noona."

You wasted no time in sucking on his erection, wrapping your lips around him and sliding him deep into your throat. He groaned in pleasure, holding onto your hair tightly. You liked the rough feeling of his hands on your hair, like you belonged there, sucking him off.

With your free hand, you squeezed his balls gently, massaging them with your thumb. A moan escaped his lips as you slowly bobbed your head up and down, taking him deeper each time until his tip hit the back of your throat. You looked up at him and he let out another moan before grabbing onto your hair once again.

You hummed with satisfaction, knowing that he liked what you were doing to him. As you licked and sucked on his dick, you ran your fingers along his shaft, lightly playing with his sack and stroking his head. It wasn't long before he was pushing his hips up, forcing his cock further down your throat. This excited you and you held his cock tight, not wanting him to pull away.

"You're such a good girl." He praised you.

You giggled. "Good girls are rewarded."

Wooyoung chuckled. "Alright then, good girl. Be rewarded."

As soon as he said that, you felt his warm seed coat your throat. You gulped a little at the feeling of him coming down your throat and used your hands to massage his shaft and testicles, making sure to take every last drop of cum out of him. When he was finished, he collapsed onto the bed, breathing heavily. You crawled up next to him, placing soft kisses on his chest and shoulders.

You weren't satisfied yet. So you proceeded to start sucking on his nipples, causing him to moan in pleasure. "I want more, Wooyoung." You breathed.

"How much more?" He asked you teasingly. “You're so insatiable, aren't you?”

"You've got all day to please me." You responded slyly. "All night."

Wooyoung chuckled as you straddled him, grinding your wet pussy against his cock. "Hmm...Sounds tempting, noona."

"Will you satisfy me?" You asked him, watching as his eyes darkened with lust.

"Of course." He growled, pulling you towards him as he sat up. His hands wandered over your soft skin. "Whatever you want, I'll give it to you."

His words made you shiver. You knew exactly what you wanted and now you were going to get it. And Wooyoung was going to give it to you. You could feel yourself growing moist at the thought of his big cock filling you.

"What would you like, noona?" He asked you seriously. "I'll do whatever you want."

"I want you inside me." You kissed him softly on the lips. "Give me your big cock."

"Yes, yes, baby." He groaned as you took his penis into your hands. "Put it in, noona."

You slowly slid him inside of you. "Fuuuck." You gasped. "That feels so good."

"Fuck yeah." Wooyoung moaned, staring into your eyes lovingly. "Feels good, right?"

"Mmhmm." You nodded, pressing your breasts against his chest as he thrust his hips upward, driving himself deeper into you.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, locking your ankles together behind his back. The position felt amazing. You could easily grind your pussy against his dick as he pushed it in and out of you.

"It feels so good, noona." He moaned, resting his forehead against yours.

"Me too." You agreed, your fingers tangling in his hair. "Every inch feels so fucking good."

Wooyoung kissed you deeply, nibbling on your lower lip. "I'm glad, noona." He whispered, nipping on your earlobe. "God, you're beautiful. You're taking me in so well, noona. Feels so damn good."

Your body was starting to heat up again and you moaned when he bit down on your neck. "Ah! Ah!" You yelled out, closing your eyes and clenching around his shaft. "Oh, fuck."

"Tell me, noona." Wooyoung urged, licking your neck. "Say what you need."

"Ohhh, fuck." You cried out, digging your nails into his back. "Wooyoung...mmm..please..."

Wooyoung released your neck and slowly began thrusting his hips up, sliding his cock in and out of you. "Say it, noona." He moaned, lowering his head and suckling your breast. "Say what you want."

You pulled his hair roughly, moaning. "More, please, more..."

"You like this, don't you, noona?" He asked you, chuckling lightly. "Don't worry. I won't stop."

You shook your head, looking into his eyes. "No, please don't stop." You whined. "Just keep fucking me."

He thrust harder, sending shockwaves throughout your body. "I'll fuck you all day and all night, noona. Every single second. No matter when and where you want it, I'll give it to you." He promised you, rocking his hips faster and faster. "I want to feel your tight pussy around my cock. Tighten up around me, noona."

And you did just that. You tightened around his cock and moaned loudly, unable to contain your pleasure. "Oh god, fuck, Wooyoung...that's so good."

You both started moaning louder and louder as your orgasms hit you. And you didn't want it to end. Not now, not ever. And you swore that it wouldn't. You continued to rock your hips back and forth, wanting him to stay buried inside of you forever.

He slowed his thrusts only to position you onto your hands and knees. He grabbed hold of your hips, pushing them back against his waist as he rammed himself into you again.

"Holy shit." He exclaimed, panting heavily. "I can't believe how tight you are."

You whimpered as he gripped your hips tighter. "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" He mumbled.

He ran a hand along your naked back, the other holding your hip. You closed your eyes and just enjoyed the sensation of being fucked, completely and utterly taken. Your body sagged against the mattress, pushing your ass back towards him and giving him even more access to your pussy. He couldn't get enough of you. You rocked your hips, thrusting back against him, meeting each of his hard thrusts with your own.

"Jesus Christ, noona." Wooyoung cursed under his breath. "This feels so good. So goddamn good."

"Do it, Wooyoung." You panted. "Fill me with your cum. Fill me with your cum."

He leaned forward and kissed and sucked on the back of your neck and shoulder as he thrust his hips up into you, emptying his entire load into your eager pussy. His entire body tensed as he came, the waves of his orgasm radiating through him. With every wave of his climax, you came closer to climaxing again and the feeling was mind-blowing. You'd never felt anything like it. You could feel his hot seed oozing out of your pussy and covering your walls. His cock stayed buried inside of you for a few moments longer before finally slipping out.

You collapsed on the bed, gasping for air as you tried to catch your breath. "Wooyoung...god, Wooyoung..."

He collapsed next to you, running his fingers through your hair. "Baby, you okay?" He asked you, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You nodded, grinning happily. "Didn't expect you to cum three times though."

"I didn't expect you to cum three times either." He smiled.

"Yeah, now I'm exhausted." You sighed.

"It's alright, baby. You can rest if you want." He assured you. "I've got you."

"Okay." You nodded, snuggling up close to him.

You quickly fell asleep in his arms, listening to his steady heartbeat.

The moonlight shone through the curtains and you groggily opened your eyes. For a brief moment, you thought you heard something but shook your head. No, there wasn't anyone else in the room. Only you and Wooyoung.

You yawned, looking down at Wooyoung who was lying beside you. A blanket covered both of your bodies and he snored peacefully against your chest.

You went and did it. You fucked your best friend's younger brother. Well, sort of. More like he fucked you but still.

But you didn't regret it. In fact, it was one of the best nights of your life. You didn't know why but something about it felt natural.

"Noona..." Wooyoung mumbled against your skin, interrupting your thoughts.

You glanced down at him, feeling his soft lips on your neck. He was facing away from you, sleeping soundly. Your heart fluttered as you brushed your fingertips across his back. Oh my god, you thought. You really love this man. You loved him way more than you should have.

Maybe you'd been in love with him this whole time and just now noticed it. Maybe he was attracted to you as well but chose not to admit it. Or maybe you're delusional. It was possible.

Whatever the case, you couldn't deny the strong connection you shared with Wooyoung. Whether you ended up dating each other or not, you knew you wouldn't regret tonight.

At least, not yet.

With a sigh, you tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear. You looked at him again, feeling yourself growing warmer.

He was perfect. Asleep or awake, the boy was gorgeous.

"Wooyoung?"

"Hmm?" He sleepily moaned, shifting slightly in your embrace.

"Are you still sleeping?" You asked, worried. "Shouldn't you be heading home?"

"It's late." He mumbled, snuggling closer to your body and closing his eyes. "And I feel comfortable here. Just let me spend the night."

"What if my sister comes home?" You frowned. "Do you want her to catch us in bed together?"

"She won't. She told me earlier that she was going to her boyfriend's when I offered to take care of you." He chuckled lightly.

You ran your fingers through his hair. "And you didn't bother to tell me this?"

"If I did, you would have told me to go home. We wouldn't be having this conversation right now." He sighed, cupping your face. "Let's stay like this, okay? At least until morning."

"Fine." You huffed, wrapping your arms around him. "I'm not exactly complaining."

"Good." Wooyoung kissed your forehead before pressing his lips to yours gently.

"Wooyoung, what are we now? Because our relationship has definitely changed after today." You mused, tracing the curve of his jawline with your fingertip.

"We're more than just friends now." He said lightly, running his fingers down your arm. "There's nothing stopping us from dating now. You know this, right? We're both adults. What's stopping us?"

What was stopping you? Other than that tiny voice in the back of your head. You weren't ready to give up the friendship you shared with Wooyoung just yet. Dating him would complicate things way too much. You weren't ready to deal with a breakup or hurting him.

"Y/N," He called out and you couldn't help but bite your lower lip. That was the first time he called you by your name and not noona. "I want to be with you. I don't want to hide anything from you anymore. I want you to know everything about me. I want you to see me and not see just a kid that I used to be."

"Wooyoung..." Your heart thumped wildly in your chest. "How long have you felt this way?"

"Since forever." He sighed, moving to kiss your nose. "I've liked you for as long as I can remember. Always wanting to be near you, watch you, listen to you speak."

"Then why didn't you say anything?" You pouted, lowering your head to look at him.

"Why should I?" He shrugged. "If you don't feel the same way, then I wouldn't want to pressure you into something you aren't comfortable doing."

"Wooyoung, I-"

"-want to date you, Y/N." He cut you off, grinning mischievously at you. "Not just for sex, although I want that too, but because I actually want to date you."

Your eyes widened in surprise. "Huh?"

"I want to take you out. Spend time with you. Be with you. All the time. Not as just friends or you being my older brother's friend. I want to be with you. Love you." He lowered his voice, nibbling on your bottom lip. "Just you."

A surge of warmth flooded your body. "Really?" You asked quietly, smiling shyly at him. "You mean that?"

"Of course, baby.” He laughed lightly. "Who else do you think would say such stupid things to you?"

"Oh, I don't know. Some guy named Wooyoung." You quipped back.

"Ha ha, very funny." He groaned, cupping your cheek before capturing your lips in his.

"Wooyoung..." You whispered against his lips. "You know I love you, right?"

"Since when?" He whispered back, leaning forward and pressing his lips to your neck. "Noona, why haven't you said it to me sooner?"

"Because I wasn't sure if I loved you." You admitted, pulling away slightly to meet his gaze. "But now I am."

"Ahhh..." Wooyoung moaned softly. "I love you too, Y/N."

"Wait, I didn't hear you." You laughed, grabbing hold of his collar. "Say it again."

"Noona...I love you." He repeated himself, gazing at you with adoring eyes. "I love you."

You kissed him deeply, loving how responsive he was to your kisses. His hands tangled in your hair as he deepened the kiss, leaving trails of fire on your lips. Suddenly, you pulled away from him and stared into his eyes. "I love you too, Wooyoung."

"Fuck, Y/N..." He groaned, covering his mouth with his hand. "My hyung is gonna kill me."

"Don't worry about him." You laughed. "He'll be happy that his best friend and his younger brother finally found happiness together."

"You really love me right?" He asked, his lips on your shoulder.

"More than you'll ever know." You replied softly, staring into his dark eyes. "I know I complain about my bad luck in men and that I just wanted someone to give me proper love and care. Guess he was right in front of me, all along."

"I'll make sure to treat you with love and care from now on." Wooyoung promised, pressing another kiss to your neck.

"Promise?" You giggled, biting his bottom lip.

"Absolutely." He smirked at you. "Y/N, you're the only woman I will ever want."

"Hmmm." You hummed, wrapping your legs around his waist. "Then let's just stay in bed all night...hmm?"

"Oh yeah, you're absolutely right." Wooyoung grinned, bringing you even closer to him. "We should stay in bed.”

[liliths-missing-pen]

How They Are When They're In Love: Trey Clover, Cater Diamond, Jack Howl, Malleus Draconia

Character Pairings: Trey Clover, Cater Diamond, Jack Howl, Malleus Draconia x Reader (Separate)

Written for @oheyfox and @meliacamelia hope y’all enjoy your man’s <3

Warnings: None.

Masterlist

Trey Clover

The normal

I have physically never sat down once and written out a list of headcanons so this'll be interesting : )

Trey would be aware of once these feelings hit him immediately, however, he doesn't want to scare you off. He would prefer to keep these ideas to himself before he does anything rash

Riddle would notice a difference in his friend but wouldn't make a comment again when he did ask Trey replied with a "Nothing is wrong."

Cater on the other hand would be more persistent in getting him to spill the tea to know what's going on in the vice-housewarden's mind. As a result, Trey doesn't budge with Cater's asking. He only opens up to Cater about it after figuring out what he wants to do with it.

What is it you may ask? He wants to keep it on the down low. Both of you are still in high school. He doesn't see why he should tell you, he finds it unnecessary so he tucks it into his head for no one else to see/hear...

That's until Cater kept asking him about it and in an effort for this endless questionnaire to end he discussed with him that he wasn't interested in having a high school romance.

This, thankfully quieted him down, but he did give the odd comment one of these being "what do you have to lose?" He was aware of how common this phase was. The frequent use burns away the meaning of it. He knew what he had to lose with you... Yet it didn't stop him from at least thinking.

When Trey is in love with you that scenario could happen. Either way, he wouldn't treat you any differently than his dorm mates... At least to the eye. He'd had things going on in the backgrounds, the little things to show his love to you. Even if he knew it would never be seen or even returned..

You could hear the clicks of shoes in the empty hallways. You weren't sure who it could be this late at night on campus but you didn't have much time to think when you turned the corner and there he was. "Hi Y/n," Trey greeted you. He held a plate with tin foil covering what was inside. "I was looking for you... I know you tend to give your food away to Grim or he steals it from you and I just so happen to just finish your favourite pastry. Have it. I know you deserve it."

Cater Diamond

The schoolgirl who will reject the idea

I had this overflow of emotions to write him whilst listening to BABYMETAL so... Yeah, ngl kind of a fitting genre for him

This guy has his emotions tucked away so far away in the back of his head that even if he's spacing out during class and thinking of you at the most random times he will still reject the idea of having a crush on you and slowly falling in love.

He's a guy that does not put his emotions fully on display and it's quite hard to get a read on him if you express the same interest in him and are trying to figure him out.

He's denying everything so hard, yet everyone who comes into contact with Cater knows something is going down that isn't coming to light. The only one who knows what's going down is probably Trey or some best friend he has that isn't mentioned.

It won't even be because he told them. The only reason they would know is because they see how they look at you.

Mentioning you, he's avoiding you like the plague. Anytime he sees you walking around a corner he's going the direct opposite direction even if it means he would take longer getting to class or being late.

He knows he's hurting you but he genuinely is unsure of what to do. This guy will need someone to sit him down, probably Trey or even Deuce or Ace to get him straightened out and to help him to face what he fears. You and rejection.

They will need to hype him up a lot for this one...

"Sorry about not talking with ya for a while..." You stared up at the obviously nervous Cater. He wasn't typically like this. Something was most definitely up. "There's something I want to discuss... I'll keep it to minimal cringe 'kay?" He asks shining a bright smile but you and him know there's something underneath with all the clues being brought together. There was no way you were going to let this boy go, even if he wanted to run away like a school girl.

Jack Howl

The silly <3

He genuinely does not recognize that he’s fallen in love with you for a long time.

He’s heard of the idea so many times over by strangers in the wild, his peers, and even his parents how love was such a wonderful thing.

In the ghost marriage however, it's shown that this little beastman expresses want for love like his parents and as well his grandparents and how once they've fallen in love they're in it for the long haul

Even though he may be so sure that you're the one he may not recognize it while everyone else in his life may have already figured it out

I could make out the first years, particularly Ace making fun of him for his little crush on you.

Even Ruggie would get on the trend, picking at poor Jack. He would also use this as an opportunity to hang this over his head to get him to do stuff for him, yet Jack still would admit nor realize it.

Even with all of that Jack still wouldn’t recognize how he was in love with you, the slight wag and how his ears perk up your voice the immediate moment he could be heard

He would learn it on his own time, the teasing from his peers may only have only helped this process in its own time, not being the realization.

Maybe on one of his morning runs he would realize as he is running through campus he would any other day he takes a stop to admire some flowers or item that he’s reminded is one of your favourites. That is when it hits him…

He’s in love. He's in love and he doesn't know what to do

He most definitely asked his dad for advice and how he won over his mother and tried to figure out how to use those things he told him to win you over not even realizing that you were just as head over heels for him

As said, once they have a partner they are stuck with them for life

He would be a true gentleman, pulling together a bouquet trying to impress you, making sure what he brought you has the correct meaning he wanted to give you.

"Hey... Uhm, Y/n do you have a moment?" Jack towered over you while holding something behind his back. "I... Was wondering if you wanted to go to a restaurant and..." His face flushed he pulls out what was behind his back... A bouquet of baby's breath and violets. "It'll be a date?"

(Baby's breath - Everlasting love

Violets - Loyalty)

Malleus Draconia

Good old fashioned lover boy : D

Malleus has been locked away most of his life. He might've been free to have whatever he wanted in materials, but his experiences were locked away. Lilia mentioned how he travelled but Malleus never came along with him. Being the Prince of Briar Valley he wasn't allowed to have typical experiences. Once he'd gotten the taste of normal, he didn't want to go back.

How did he gain it? His relationship with you of course. From day one you didn't treat him differently. You treated him normally. He felt ruined when he messed up that he signed the letter he had given you "M.D." sure enough that you would clue in by then. Yet he felt relieved. He wasn't so sure if what he felt was endearment to you or worry from how clueless you seemed to be. He truly soured and believed that your friendship and what he enjoyed from you was gone once he showed up at the VDC

Yet.. You treating him like a normal human fae still happened? He never had a traditional friendship like others his age. So the fact that he started to gain feelings for you was much so unexpected, nor was it detected straight away.

Lilia never thought that he would have to go through this, explaining what love meant. He'd never say it to his face but he wouldn't have been surprised if his grandmother ever decided to put him into a arranged marriage because how much Lilia and her screwed up not letting him interact with kids his age that weren't assigned to be with him at all times.

So once Malleus started speaking of this Ramshackle prefect so dearly he had a cue that he would have to dust off the birds and bees story- In all serious though he decided that he had to have the talk asking how dearly he held this prefect of his. Malleus didn't know any better.

Once Lilia explained to him what was going... Dragon courting began. You were begining to collect many fancy jewelery that you weren't even sure what to do with. Malleus did have a hoard he could pick from and he surely did not cheap out when gifting. You were starting to get nervous from the way that Sebek would glare at you when passing in the halls. At one point Malleus gifted you a solid gold bar where you had to tell him he didn't have to gift you all these expensive things. Explaining him that it didn't matter he was a prince and could afford to give you all this you didn't want people thinking that you were using him. *cough cough* SEBEK

Yet through all of that you treated him as if he was a normal person. It made him so attracted to you. Yearning for you even. He wasn't sure if you were getting a message through with his courting though. However, he found it amusing so he decided letting this go another year or two couldn't hurt. After all you were his only friend. He wasn't going to let you go that easily and let something such as romance break it off so quickly. Even he couldn't take that hurt.

You stood outside of Ramshackle scrolling through your phone. You looked up as you noticed a shadow loomed over you. "Tsunataro!" Your immediate response hugging him. Malleus chuckled, "Hello prefect," he greeted. "I'm so happy you're here. I found a new gargole near here I have to show you it!" You exclaimed. "First, I have something for you," he reached into his pocket as he took out a small ring. "A promise ring. Lilia told me that it was very popular nowadays." You gawk at him as you slowly and careful take the ring from his hand and put it on your index finger. "It's beautiful, but Tsunataro... Nevermind, I like it a lot thank you." A smile graced Malleus "Of course my Treasure." You swore it was some sort of fluke that you weren't dating at the moment.

Requests are open‼️

[harukamitsuki]

Am I the only one who doesn't like seeing fanfics that say Bakugou will face the consequences, but there is redemption. I always see that they want to put Bakugou as if he were also a victim, or that he is just bad with feelings, I don't know. I'm not enjoying Bakugou's redemption, there are times when I just want him to be punished and stay away from Izuku.

Oh, absolutely NOT.

If I want to feel satisfied, I'm searching that tag without wanting any redemption added to it.

There are fics wherein it's only Bakugou consequences and bashing, but it annoys me to see 'redemption' tagged on, mostly because I know it will be lip service at best. I know that because I've fallen for it in the past.

Counselling is given to him like a punishment, when a lot of people would do anything to have their own therapist - it's insulting to people who actively reach out for counselling to see it presented as a punishment.

Seeing him expelled is the best feeling in these fics, and having people help Izuku come to terms that Bakugou would not have been a great or even decent hero, that he was abused and Bakugou should never have gotten away with it.

Another 'punishment' some fics give to Bakugou is kicking him to General Education. Which, again, would be an insult to those who chose to enter Gen Ed, as it would seem like being in there is bad thing.

There's also the fics wherein Izuku actually kills himself, and FOR SOME REASON, they focus entirely on Bakugou!?!? WHY!?

FOCUS ON IZUKU, DAMMIT! They make it seem like this a tragedy on Bakugou's behalf. As if Izuku wasn't the one who actually took his life because of Bakugou's abuse, (and All Might's rejection of his dream). If they want to focus on the aftermath, focus on Inko at least! She's the one whose son committed suicide! She's the one who would be hurting the most!

BAKUGOU SHOULD BE ARRESTED IN THOSE FICS FOR SUICIDE BAITING! STOP MAKING HIM A HERO ANYWAY!

Ugghhhh, I am getting so worked up over this. So, no, you're not alone.

I don't mind Bakugou redemption, but only if it's written well. If he isn't excused and treated like a victim - he is a victim to a certain extent, but that should never excuse his treatment of Izuku.

He's a victim of discrimination born by love. People who should know better enabled him and thus stunted his progress.

But, again, that's no excuse and things aren't suddenly dandy because of this.

Even in my rewrite, I've made Bakugou face consequences already, but there's still more consequences to come, and more lessons he absolutely needs to learn before he can truly begin to reform himself.

Quote: REFORM. Reformation is different from redemption - reforming is when a character changes, and redemption is when that change is accepted and they have atoned for their wrongdoings.

And that is something many Bakugou simps cannot fit their head around - changing does not automatically mean they have been redeemed, but they present it as such anyway.

I don't care if he's changed enough to actually beg for forgiveness, it's not redemption until he makes up for everything he's done.

[initforthethrill]

thank you thank you for posting the bot and writing my request so fast you're amazing! i have more thoughts (you can take this as a request or just me needing to share my thoughts lmao im not trying to be greedy i just have a lot of... daydreams)

but listennn

i know you write most for masc user (and i have a STRONG preference for feminine women too) but these pics really have me thinking

https://pin.it/ogfuquVDw https://pin.it/2OORH8AZo

just.. asshole cate

like ugh.. her just being so selfish and just using a girl to get off.. she comes first most of the time and is mostly just like 'not my fault you take too long' and just does not care. usually she leaves to take a shower after or wash up or whatever just to be a dick.. gives the girl time to get off herself since Cate isn't gonna do it smh.. but mostly she does end up back in bed with her. cause lowkey she's a softie even though she would never admit it.

cue the girl being a total fucking simp for cate.. like im just thinking she like is IN LOVE with cate. and she really tries and does sweet things for her and tries to get closer. sit together, hold hands, ask on dates (gets constantly rejected).. cate is even a bigger asshole when her friends are around. like laughs and mocks the girl just to make her friends laugh (because she would never show how badly she's falling too).

those pics fit with masc cate and they're what inspired it but like i think it also fits so perfectly with feminine cate and like golden retriever masc girl.. cate's a complete pillow princess. the girl is like completely head over heels for cate - maybe like after the first time they hooked up she 'misread' the situation.. and she's such a hopeless romantic, she buys cate flowers and brings them to her while cate is sat out in the quad with her friends.. and her friends know what cate is like so they all kinda go silent waiting for a reaction but then cate scoffs and laugh.. makes some shitty remark and makes her friends laugh..

mannn idk which version masc or femme cate in this i like more (lowkey leaning for femme now that i wrote it out icl).. but she just looks so fucking hot in those pics ugh i love when femme women dress masc (another idea.. cate borrows golden retriever girl's clothes occasionally, even though she really doesn't give a shit about her and she certainly doesn't like that it soothes that possessive urge in her when she gets to wear her clothes)

okay let me break this down to properly respond to everything lol!

first of all, you’re very welcome! i can’t promise all the requests will get fulfilled as quickly as this one was but i will do my best :) now go and ruin religiously repressed cate one sinful bathroom encounter at a time to your little gay heart’s content—and please never stop being greedy pouring out all your filthy little cate thoughts into my askbox<3

okay so…the way i barked at this image (which still to this day lives rent free in my mind) like the degree to which i need this woman is honestly probably offensive to lesbianism...anyways!

yes i can totally write masc cate…sometimes i do get the urge for douchebag!cate and want her to treat me like i’m her worthless emotional support butch so! this should be a relatively easy request to fulfill LOL i’ll throw it on the list alongside a somewhat mirrored femme version too since i enjoy your asks so much anon<3

in the meantime...take this blurb i cooked up real quick for masc cate hehe :3

masc douchebag fuckboy!cate

Cate came first.

That was just how it went. Every time.

Her hand would press to the back of your neck, urging you lower, or fisting in your shirt when she straddled your lap, grinding against you until she got what she wanted—sometimes with a breathy fuck, sometimes with a sigh and a lazy smirk, sometimes without a word at all.

And then she’d roll off, already stretching like a satisfied cat, slipping off the bed with that same practiced indifference, as though none of it meant anything. It didn’t, obviously. She’d say that aloud if you ever asked. (You didn’t.)

“Not my fault you take too long,” Cate would mutter, reaching for the towel she always kept slung over the back of her chair. “Bathroom’s free.”

And you would lie there. Heart racing. Breathing hard. Thighs slick. Wanting more.

You’d wait, like always. Let the heat fade. Let the ache settle. Touch yourself if you really needed to, curled up in Cate’s sheets that still smelled like her stupid perfume—some sharp designer thing layered over the citrus shampoo she didn’t share.

Sometimes Cate came back. Not always. But when she did, it was quieter.

No teasing. No talking. Just the sound of the mattress dipping under her weight, and the gentle drag of fingers across your stomach as she slid beneath the covers again. Like she didn’t mean to reach for you. Like she accidentally curled up against your back and fell asleep there, breath hot against your spine.

The next morning? Cate would be a menace again.

“God, you’re obsessed with me,” she’d scoff, rolling her eyes when you tried to hold her hand in the hallway. “You’re like a lost puppy.”

But you were already used to it—Cate keeping you at arm’s length while tugging you close with the other hand behind closed doors. You crave her. And Cate knows it.

Even when Cate is cruel, you still look at her like she’d hung the stars just for you.

Sometimes you brought Cate breakfast. Those overpriced pastries she liked. Coffee exactly how she took it. Once, you showed up outside Cate’s dorm at midnight with a lighter engraved with her initials and a stupid excuse about how Cate was always losing hers. Cate hadn’t even said thank you, just rolled her eyes and kissed you until you forgot why you were standing there in the first place.

The worst part? Cate wasn’t even nice when her friends were around. If anything, she was worse.

One time you showed up to the quad with two smoothies, trying to be sweet, and Cate looked you up and down and went, “Aw, babe, did you think this was a date?” Her friends howled. Cate handed off the drink—your drink—to Luke and didn’t even look at you when she added, “You’re cute. Just not in a meet-the-parents kind of way.”

It stung. But you laughed. Played it off. Went home and cried into your pillow like an idiot, then texted Cate anyway to say you hoped her day went okay.

And still, still—

Cate came back.

Slipped into your dorm past midnight with wet hair and bare legs and one of your hoodies, pretending not to care. “I was bored,” she’d say, even though her voice was quiet and her eyes didn’t leave your face.

You would open your arms, and Cate would slide between them like she belonged there.

Maybe she did.

Because sometimes—sometimes—Cate softened. Let herself be held. Let you kiss the top of her head without so much as a snarky comment. Let you touch gently, sweetly, even if she sighed like it was a favor. Even if she muttered, “You’re so clingy,” with her fingers curled around the hem of your shirt, refusing to let go as she rode your face into the mattress.

And sometimes, when she thought you were asleep, Cate whispered your name. Real soft. Like it hurt to say.

She never stuck around for breakfast. Never held your hand in public. Never called you her girlfriend.

But she kept coming back.

And you kept letting her.

♡ | masc menace ♡ | fatal femme

[kharla-k]

Babel Hurts, and It Hurts Me a Lot

Babel opens with no obscurity in that it is a disaster, a tragedy; Theresa died, in the past, and not only that, but Kal'tsit and W confirm that it is 'the Doctor's' fault. Babel was slaughtered not by its opponents, but from within, by its most important ally. One of the three keystones that carried everything on their shoulders. Betrayal, a core theme of Babel, is the most heinous of crimes. Utterly despicable, beyond reproach, and my personal life experiences have made that clear to me when I was lied to by my mother. Who stole my belongings, lied to my face, all while asking for a hug. Saying that everything would be alright. That hurts. And it doesn't ever stop hurting. It changes how you interact with people, how you trust people, how you treat people. There is no better way to irreversibly change someone than to transform years of love into despair instantly. To transform trust into a wrath that never truly dims. Their psyche and perspective on life change, warp in abhorrent, grotesque ways they were never meant to, to try and prevent that pain from happening ever again. There isn't any recourse, and I cannot imagine that you can ever learn to trust that person again. In a moment of need for love, compassion and support; they stab you from behind. And they twist the knife. It's clear to me, reading this event, that Kal'tsit and Theresa both undergo this shift, the foundations of their ideals cracked, blemished. In chapter 8 m8-8, Kal'tsit violently rejects abandoning her wrath, even if she's succeeded in putting it aside. Even if she understands that its subject no longer exists, it remains. It's a part of her now, forever.

When I originally read this, I was shocked that Kal'tsit, someone practical and pragmatic to a fault, could be so angry, so emotional; I was shocked. But now, I understand as she admits her failure to think rationally, about her near failure to act rationally. I understand why she takes so long to show a semblance or inkling of trust to the Doctor, why she doesn't believe for a second that they've been subjected to amnesia. You can never truly trust someone again after a betrayal, there will always be lingering doubts in your mind, that you being let down by them can happen again. The worst part, as Kal'tsit notes, is when you realize that you cannot direct your wrath anymore, only hold onto it, as it burns your clenched fist. Kal'tsit carries on, a changed person, able to ignore, but never forget, never forgive what happened. But that's nothing compared to what happened to Theresa, who says the following in 12-1:

Theresa, who built so much with her bare hands, efforts filled with goodwill and passion, blood, sweat and tears poured into her vision; to be torn out from under her, by 'the Doctor.' It changes her, dims her view, the light, of one of the most determined, hopeful people in the setting. Trying her hardest to find the most peaceful solution won't be successful if the people she has to depend on shred it for their own reasons, and so she issues a command so brutal that it shocks Manfred, someone who she raised, someone who knows her; Return the favor. Exact vengeance. My perspective has been twisted like theirs has, and one of the more obvious scars of this event is my consideration of betrayal to be the most brutal, depraved, awful act you can perform, only for... the Doctor to do the same. The player character, the player character you named. I'm disgusted at the notion of being associated with them, and their actions. I knew that Babel was going to be brutal, I knew that it was going to leave me suffering, but I could never have prepared for a close proxy to myself committing such a grievous performance. I knew that the fragile survival and barely eked out victories by Babel would never last, but I couldn't conceive that they would be ended by the Doctor. I'm always happy, delighted even, to participate within the story of Arknights, but this hurts. It. Hurts. And I just want it to be over. I'm sick to my stomach, my throat aches and my chest hurts at the horror of it all, the torture that is reading further. That someone would ever choose to make such a cataclysmic decision, because I understand on a personal level how much damage was done to Kal'tsit and Theresa, who could have been on the precipice of victory... had the Doctor simply chosen to side with their friends, with their new found family. To look for a better solution, to not have the unfathomable god damn arrogance to decide that it was a lost cause. And it is by this point that I now truly understand one of Arknights' main morals as a story, mentioned by every other antagonist the game has: Fate. The Doctor, this being that chose to forsake its allies; refused to reject fate. Refused to even consider for a moment that the future wasn't set, and consigned themselves to accelerating the pace towards fate. The story of Arknights, that is Arknights, is a good one, one that I appreciate reading, and will see through to the end. But this chapter hits too close to home.

[bananakeiky]

This isn't about Hoyo I just needed to vomit some AFTG thoughts into a public space and I just finished ToS and I'm rabid. I have no idea how many of y'all even read this series but spoilers. And trigger warnings. Anyways.

Okay what the fuck ever the thing about ToS isn't just about of the extra trigger warnings and things that made me wanna throw up and cry at the same time. It's about how horribly, tragically awful it is that Jean is full of so much love. He always has been. It's not just haha what a pansexual no. Jean craves affection so fucking much. He's weak to pretty people and devastated by kind people. He clung to Kevin. He clung to Renee. He even clung to Thea, who affectionately called him Paris as he trailed her like a little duckling. He spits and rages and claws at them all, calling them every rabid name in the dictionary and beyond. He has a laundry list of insults for Neil, who freed him, one of the only people he truly trusts. It's just that he never expects it back. He never wants it back because it hurts so much worse when it's gone. People hurt him when it's gone. He says "I can take it" and "this is normal" because he would burn if he couldn't.

This is why he rejects the Trojans. Every "don't you see" and "why do you look away" is well-meaning but twice as hurtful because accepting it would mean Jean didn't hurt because he deserved it. Without that crutch it means he suffered for nothing. He hurt for nothing. Accepting it would mean that Jean would have to open up and fully comprehend the absolute horrors that were done not just to his life but to his personhood. To him. He was a child and a victim and he deserved to be saved and he wasn't. Not until it was too late. All of those years after being sold by his parents, yearning, aching to be loved by somebody and used as a toy and a scapegoat in return by anyone who touched him. Love is painful. Trust is painful. And Jean will love and love and love until it kills him and he knows it.

But this is why Kevin sent him to the Trojans. They may not understand survival and suffering the way the Foxes do, but they're genuine. They may be misguided with some of their efforts and need to take time learning how Jean works but they try and try and keep trying. They understand their own faults and healthy coping mechanisms and how to treat your worst enemies with respect. Hell, nearly the entirety of Jeremy's inner circle are in queer relationships with each other except for himself because he's too busy thinking about other people to work on that. This is what Jean needs to learn, that people can give without asking for anything in return. That people can be selfless and care for one another without ulterior motives. That love can be healthy and beautiful and not cruel.

And listen. I've been rooting for Jerejean for eight goddamn years. You have no idea how hard I fell when I realized that the ship that embodies the entire idea of healing, self-growth, and respect had been actualized and it's everything I ever wanted and more. The fact that Jeremy helps Jean buy his very first possession. The fact that he's so protective of Jean and thinks he's more important than exy, that Jean will be his success story. When he holds his hands and begs him to open up and backs off when Jean needs space, but never leaves and never gives up. How he spends so much time organizing people and schedules and events just so Jean can feel safe walking around campus. He never pushes too hard, but he never stops pushing. He's so patient. He wants Jean. He wants him so bad, but more than that, he wants Jean to love himself above all else. He's there when Jean has a panic attack at the pool, and sticks around as close as he can after Jean gets attacked. He stays up by the door all night when Jean goes out with Neil to an unknown location. All of this on top of revitalizing the Trojans, dealing with his shit family and the shittier rumors, having to train Jean out of killing his team and teaching his team to trust Jean in return.

Even after all of that his number one priority is always Jean, his head is filled with Jean, making the world comfortable and safe for Jean. It's making sure all of his friends know Jean. Never letting Jean be alone. Getting another twin bed so he can room with him. Always correcting himself, slowing down and speeding up so he can match Jean's pace. Fucking Barkbark. And yes, Renee could have done this too. She was the right person, and yes, the wrong time. But Jeremy found Jean at the right time, a time where he would dedicate everything to Jean. And if Jean one day turns around and wants to give that back, he'll be there, but he'll be just as happy knowing Jean is going to be okay.

ToS is a story about healing. It's about growth and battling the consequences of a life you did not choose. It's about unfairness. It's about what happens after a tragedy, and how to cope with yourself as much as you cope with the outside world. It's about becoming. It's about demons. It's about loyalty. It's about love. It's not about romance. Not yet. But it's about a romance that couldn't exist without it. It's setting up a story about someone who learns to accept that, tragically, he deserves to be treated like a human being. With love. And that he can still have it. That it's right there, waiting for him, when he's ready. He just has to reach out and take it.

[4dkellysworld]

When suffering happens

When unpleasant things happen in life, in an effort to understand it and find peace, we (our egos) often either try to find reason and understand why something happened/is so or immediately jump to conclusions and label it, often linking it to our identity like "oh it's because I am _____" or "it's because I did/thought/felt _____ which caused this, I shouldn't have done that!" or "This always happens to me ugh!!!" yet I find this habit ends up causing more harm than good and it is this self-identification that then ends up causing further spiralling and a pattern of similar events later in the future.

M: Detach yourself from all that makes your mind restless. Renounce all that disturbs its peace. If you want peace, deserve it. Q: Surely everybody deserves peace. M: Those only deserve it, who don't disturb it. Q: In what way do I disturb peace? M: By being a slave to your desires and fears. Q: Even when they are justified? M: Emotional reactions, born of ignorance or inadvertence, are never justified. Seek a clear mind and a clean heart. All you need is to keep quietly alert, enquiring into the real nature of yourself. This is the only way to peace. Chapter 8: The Self Stands Beyond Mind - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj

Leave poor Vanessa alone and stop assigning her the responsibility and accountability of everything that the dream shows. The entire dream is all an expression of the Infinite Being, not hers (the ego) which she is just one more creation of. And it doesn't have to be your (the Self's/I AM's) dream anymore when you stop identifying with it.

This is why it's so important to let go of our ego, to let go of the unpleasant thoughts with indifference, reject any claim over them and detach any association with your I AM (the Self's identity) rather than intellectuallise what happened with the mind. You can cut it off and break the cycle right there.

Understanding this was truly the turning point that launched me into earnest and honest study of 4dbarbie's teachings and by extension, Lester Levenson and Nisargadatta Maharaj's teachings. I was just so sick of going through the same shit, being stuck in the trenches and going nowhere. At some point you're going to get so fed up that you just want to give it all up and not care about anything anymore.

The thing about nothing though is that it's the only thing that can take the shape of everything. 1

Isn't it so much more freeing to just say "fuck it all, it doesn't make sense and I don't care to think about it anymore. This isn't mine", let it go and move on?

Imagine you see a random couple out in public fighting about all their relationship problems openly. What goes through your head when that happens? For me, I go "phew yikes, I'm glad that's not me. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my problem", feel a sense of relief and gratefulness that it's not my burden to bear and move on with my day.

When nonsensical or unpleasant things happen in your life, treat it the same way you do when nonsensical or unpleasant things happen in your sleeping dreams for they are both I AM's imaginary creations. Just let it go, detach it from Self and move on - no matter what happens, it is not yours.

Important distinction: I am not saying to physically ignore your body and ego's needs, do what needs to be done but you (the Self) do not have to identify with it, you do not have to claim it as yours. You know it's not you and you are just observing everything, unaffected.

"When the mind is quiet, we come to know ourselves as the pure witness. We withdraw from the experience and its experiencer and stand apart in pure awareness, which is between and beyond the two. The personality, based on self-identification, on imagining oneself to be something: 'I am this, I am that', continues, but only as a part of the objective world. Its identification with the witness snaps." Chapter 6: Meditation - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj

Stop trying to find reason as you are only further sustaining its reality by doing that.

"By resisting evil, you merely strengthen it." Chapter 72: What is Pure, Unalloyed, Unattached is Real - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj "You may try to trace how a thing happens, but you cannot find out why a thing is as it is. A thing is as it is, because the universe is as it is". Chapter 4: Real World is Beyond The Mind - I Am That, Nisargadatta Maharaj

Just let it go. Letting go is what gives ultimate peace and freedom.

Not yours, remember? Repeat. Not yours. You won't lose your mind, you'll only lose your misery. See this world and the body as not real first. What is true is only what I AM is identified with, right now this body which is not in that TV show (your desired reality). Correct this first by letting go of thinking it's you 2

Just let go of the ego, that’s how simple it is.

[blood-starved-beast]

how would you interpret Maria hugging hunter in her visceral? i always thought of it as some sort of mockery from her

Sort of, but in the way that her whole fight is sort of a "mockery" of the concept of a dashing Heroic romance (In the Shakespearean sense of the term). Let me explain.

First, we have to understand Maria's character design in that she is of the bifauxnen archetype. The bifauxnen is a handsome, gentleman-ly type woman portraying all the traits we associate with a dashing hero: courageous, refined and sometimes aristocratic, and androgynous. She is the counterpart to the bishonen, the contrast to the more coarse Lad-ette. The most famous of this archetype of course is Lady Oscar from Rose of Versailles. She is essentially a Female Prince.

The Lady Maria reflects this design. Out of all the Hunters and Byrgenwerth crew, she is the one dressed to the Nines, wearing dashing Cainhurst fashion to something that is essentially nasty and wet and all the other things (the Hunt). She's wearing jewelry (the Lumenflower brooch) the cravat, the fact she curls her hair, the aristocratic looks and backstory (the fact that she's the Lady Maria, a Knight of Cainhurst Vileblood royalty), the fact that she was the one taking care of the Research patients and they worship her, etc. Her outfit fits along the lines of the Lady Oscars, Alucards, and so forth. The fact that she is the only one to realize the atrocity of her actions, to regret her actions and reject her calling as a Hunter, is so fucking introspective at the cost of noticing Gehrman's mania for example reads very much in line of a Romantic hero. She is presenting a Look and this Look says she is meant to come off as rich, handsome, and heroic as she's slaying monsters. At least, those are the visual cues the player is meant to read in that sense. And that is carried over into her actions.

Lady Maria fights the Hunter to "liberate [them] from [their] wild curiosity" - she is taking the role again, of the hero. The villain here, being that need for Insight and she is saving the Hunter from the call of blood. She then engages you a fight, a dance really, set to waltz - again, playing with those romantic hero tropes (assuming you don't parry her to death). The visceral attack therefore, plays into that fantasy. She treats you so gently cause of course you are the Victim enslaved by your thirst for knowledge, she is the romantic hero, mercy killing you with the sweet kiss of death. She steadies you as your now heartless body bleeds out onto the floorboards of the clocktower.

But like everything in Bloodborne, there is a catch you see. Cause the Lady Maria is not a hero in fact; she is a bloody coward.

Yes, Maria is the only member of the Byrgenwerth crew (and amongst the few Hunter in general) to make a dry stop + u-turn from the Hunt and the atrocities associated with that. But unlike someone like Djura, who at least is trying to be productive in his redemption, Maria runs from her mistakes. She casts Rakuyo into the Well and leaves. She joins the Research Hall and contributes to more atrocities there, but hey at least all the patients there love her right?? (😬) And when her brooding (or maybe insanity? who says she was immune to the Beast plague? Or Kos infecting her brain??) was too much for her, she takes her own life instead of you know, working to dismantle the systems - both the Research Hall and the Hunt itself. Her issues and her guilt - that is more important to her than actually helping or saving people. She the Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower, Lord over nothing else but the reminder of her greatest failure. Both in life and in death.

Cause you see, her stopping the Hunter isn't really about saving them from their wild curiosity. The Fishing Hamlet is dead and gone. The effects are echoing throughout all of Yharnam in this day and age. Heck, the Hunter just came in from the Research Hall itself. It is well and truly Known, to prevent future atrocities of that scale, one has to know the events that led to those atrocities in the First Place. Lady Maria isn't helping you, isn't saving you from anything you already knew to begin with. She is, once again, trying to alleviate her own guilt and shame and trying to prevent others of knowing of that shame. So she tries to kill you. But you know, in a Heroic way. Hence why the whole fight is a sham and mockery.

She also hates your guts. I consider this to be tertiary canon at best, but the deleted lines has it so that she calls you insufferable, and baits you to kill her. She Does Not Actually Give a Shit About You. It cannot be more blatant than that. And how couldn't she? You make her recall her greatest shame, force her to break the last of her principles (no Vilebloodbending) so that your ass does not learn of what she's done. You also keep coming back, so you're a constant reminder that no matter what she does, her actions really do mean nothing, not before, and definitely not now.

Also she stares at you like this the whole fight if looks could kill well, you would be dead and not coming back (The way you ought to. Bastard. Stay dead already!! - Lady Maria, probably):

So yeah, she is mocking you with a oh so sweet kiss from the Handsome Hero type as she rips your heart out (breaking it) and kills you very dead. Cause fuck the Hunter specifically.

[an-au-blog]

I love zosan and think the art made me love it even more, but if I'm being honest with myself and how I feel about the canon, I'd say there should be zolu and sanuso before zosan. Let me explain:

The only logical explanation for Zoro - a pirate hunter, who had killed pirates for very petty reasons... to join a random guy with no crew, no boat and a pipedream, is that he saw something in him. The sheer amount of loyalty this man holds for his captain is more than akin to blind devotion than anything. And the trust Luffy holds in his first mate is absolutely astounding.

Outside of the ladies, Sanji only ever defends/vouches for Usopp. Even though Usopp is a man, Sanji doesn't treat him with the annoyance he sometimes has for Luffy and Zoro. During the water 7 arc, he keeps defending Usopp even though the Mary fiascos. He's super protective towards him.

In conclusion, here's how I think it'd go:

Sanji had been unintentionally courting Usopp and only realized it when water 7 happened. At some point while they're still in recovery or maybe while they were still traveling to enmys lobby, he tries to tell him what he's realized. Because if he really leaves the crew, this would be his only chance and he needed to live without regrets, as there was no guarantee what could happen.

Sanji: Usopp, I know it's not the time or place, but-

Usopp: Haha, this isn't Usopp, I'm Sniper King, remember?!

Sanji (defeated, knowing nothing will come of this): Yeah, well, when you see Usopp, can you tell him that I'm sorry I couldn't tell him on time, but I love him and I regret only realizing it now...

Usopp: ...

Usopp: Oh... well... I'll be sure to tell him.

Sanji might have taken that as a nice way to reject him, so he decided to take it with dignity and leave but was stopped when he heard

Usopp: And thank you... I mean, he'd probably thank you. For telling him.

Would it be too pathetic of Sanji to hold onto hope?

After everything was said and done, Usopp joined again. Sanji had forgotten, with all the things that happened, about his confession. So he was a bit surprised when he approached him about it.

S: Soooo... Sniper King told me what you wanted to tell me...

U, sweating bullets: Whaaat? I didn't mean- I mean I never told him to tell you anything, idk what you're talking about. That sniper king guy probably lied!

S: I don't think he's the type to lie. He's a man of honor, you know.

U, not believe that he's getting jealous of himself: you're so easy to defend him, you like him or something?

S, with embarrassment but loving adoration: Yeah.

U, heart broken: Oh. Well, I wish you two a happy life then.

(If he's wondering whether or not to "rejoin as SK", but living a double life would be hard and -)

S: Wait, where are you going. I just told you I loved you and you're walking away? Did something happen, I thought...

U: You said you like Sniper King, not me. (*insert rant about how SK is so much better than Usopp and all that self degrading bs*)

S: Okay, okay, no. I know you're the same person. But if you insist: I love you too. Not only in a friend way, not because of your persona, but because of you. Usopp.

And awww, would you look at that, they started dating. Time passes and Usopp stops feeling as insecure as he had before. Sanji keeps flirting with women but never means it and they all know it because they always ends up back in each other's arms. But then something devastating happens. Sanji can't stop thinking about how the mosshead never wears a shirt. It's infuriating and Usopp kind of understands, at one point he goes "Have you tried touching his chest? Maybe you'll get it out of your system."

To which Sanji is 1. Speechless, petrified, flabbergasted; 2. Shook and horrified at the suggestion; 3. Kind of obsessed with the idea now that he thinks about it; 4. defensive because "my love, you are all I need how could youuuu think thaaat".

In that order.

Usopp, laughing nervously: It's not like I haven't done it.

Sanji: What?

Usopp: What.

So it turned out, that one night of drinking made Zoro almost kiss Usopp, which he backed away because he was afraid, but then Zoro called it "physical traids" which made him.confused and a bit worried that he didn't know what that was, so he said he'd think about it. Zoro looked at him in a way that conveyed "what is there to think about", but never voiced it. With a shrug, he said okay and never tried anything after that.

So Sanji and Usopp decided that they needed to talk about it with the swordsman himself. To work out the logistics if anything... What he said, however, none of them expected.

Zoro: I don't know why you make it into a big fuss. Physical traids, yeah, it's like: I find you attractive, you find me attractive, we care for each other so we make out or if we're feeling it - more. How can Luffy het it, but you can't.

Jaws on the floor.

They call Luffy in on the conversation and it gets worse.

Luffy: Yeah, it's like when I'm bored, or feel like it, we do stuff. But I don't really wanna kiss anyone else and I told him you guys are okay to kiss cause I trust you!

Explaining to them that, yes - that's kind of what dating is, and yes - they've been technically exclusively dating until now, went about as well as one might have hoped. At one point, Sanji definitely got frustrated from his own overthinking about why Marimo had hit on his boyfriend but never him. To which Zoro responded that he had tried a couple of times but Sanji just kicked or ignored him, so he gave up, thinking he wasn't interested.

And at some point Luffy definitely drops something like "I'd like to try with you guys too, it could be fun." with a beaming smile and both Usopp and Sanji wouldn't be able to stop thinking about ot for a week straight, low-key obsessing over it until they decide, okay, yes. And then they would tell him and he would just go "Oh, right, forgot about that, sure, let's do it!"

(idk this was funnier in my head)

[seangelfish]

hii Hii this may sound strange but I would like to ask for TWC (separately) reaction headcanons when they see their mc getting what she wants in restaurants, stores, etc thanks to her "pretty privilege" a double edged sword that helped her survive working as a model but at the same time she was treated as an object when she was a minor unu .

thanks in advance and also thanks for opening requests /hugg

S/O WITH PRETTY PRIVILEGE

Featured characters: Naoakira Saimon, Yohei Kanbayashi, Ryu Natsume, Shiki Ando ♡ Tags: Headcanons, established relationships, casual romance, she/her pronouns, not proofread! ♡ Word count: 1,269 ♡ Synopsis: As stated in the request, you have pretty privilege. You could get anything you want for free! But there are limits, and not everyone sees what you see when using this to your leverage. ♡ A/N: I actually enjoyed writing this even though I wasn't really sure how to write it. It was an interesting request though, so I hope you like it~ (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Saimon tells you with sincerity that this is morally wrong. He doesn't condone this, lecturing you that this might backfire on you one day.

And for the first time in forever, you feel at ease at these words. You weren't sure why, but it was probably because when you usually get stuff given to you for free, the people around you encouraged it.

It was expected that people only befriended you for your beauty and the privileges it offers. Though, at one point, it was too much, too suffocating.

That's how you ended up with nobody.

Until Saimon, that is.

When you explained why this happens to you, Saimon isn't taken aback because he knows how beautiful you are and it does make sense that these people would offer you all these things for free.

"But do you truly like it when they do?" he asked.

"Well, I can't say I don't," you replied honestly. "I guess sometimes I do feel like I'm doing something wrong though..."

He nodded and smiled. "Then you know what to do," he stated, caressing your hand.

Therefore, the next time someone offered you something for free, you tried declining. However, it was hard, it felt odd to decline their offer after this being a part of your life for so long.

"You don't need to do that," stated Saimon. "I will be the one paying."

You looked up at him, relieved. The server quickly understood the situation and let Saimon pay.

"I guess this will take getting used to," Saimon said with a lighthearted chuckle. "But I will be here for you when you need me."

You thanked him with a warm smile. Over time, you learned how to reject these offers. It truly felt like you were a part of society now, not an object that needed to be worshipped, and Saimon supported you all the way.

When the bill for the meal you had with your boyfriend was completely discarded, Yohei gets extremely suspicious. But he lets it slide until the second time when you actively ask for a discount with the use of your beauty.

He tells you to stop it immediately, that he can pay for it. However, you don't give in since this was your normality for such a long time, it would be weird to finally pay something in full.

So to Yohei's dismay, you keep accepting the generous offers. Your beauty was your strong point and you were going to use it to its fullest extent. Shouldn't Yohei be happy about this? He didn't even need to use his money on you! You could get everything for free!

But Yohei hated it. He hated seeing men succumb to your charms, to offer you a meal on the house. He hated seeing their eyes fall on your pretty face, their fingers to their lips as they shush you not to tell anyone about this.

"(Y/N), stop this now," he repeated. "Stop doing this."

"But why? Isn't this great? We can get anything we want!"

"Argh, that's not the point. (Y/N), you may think you're taking advantage of your pretty privilege, but one day, you may have to repay that."

You didn't understand what he meant by that.

He sighed. "Listen, one day someone will want something out of you for providing you with free things, and it isn't going to be pretty. So stop it now."

You were quiet. Yohei was right, but what did that mean for you? This was your life leading up to now, and you were just going to stop all of that? Yet again, using your beauty to survive in this world had always made you uncomfortable especially when you were young.

"And anyways," Yohei continued, cutting you off from your flashback. "I want to provide for you... as a boyfriend should."

As expected, Ryu is going to indulge in this privilege of yours because that means he can get free stuff too!

He doesn't question why people around you are offering these things to you nor does he really care, he just thinks this is neat!

But when you start batting your eyelashes and twirling your hair at the servers, the smile on his face quickly diminishes.

Why are you doing that? he wondered.

Yet those simple acts always result in luxury that he completely disregards it.

For a few times at least.

One day, he asks you the reason why these people are giving you free things. When you explain to him it was because of your pretty privilege, Ryu goes unusually silent.

"So you're entertaining them?" he said coldly which was unlike his super bubbly attitude. "What more have you done with them to get these things?"

This hurt you more than it should have. Why was he being so mean? Was it that big of a deal?

"Ryu, I don't really appreciate that–"

"Neither do I."

But before you could retort back, Ryu had snapped out of it. He recognised the sullen look on your face and asked you what was wrong.

"Do you think what I'm doing is wrong?" you asked him after the long, unbearable silence. He tilted his head like a cat, unsure of what you were talking about. "Of me getting stuff for free..."

"Oh..." he murmured. "I don't know, but it is kindaaa weird!"

"Haha, you think...?"

You didn't think he'd listen, but you clarified the reasons why this happens to you.

"(Y/N), I'm sorry," he said sadly.

"N-No, it's okay! That's all in the past now, but I guess old habits die hard. I'll try to stop it; if not, at least minimise it."

Ryu smiled, engulfing you in a big hug. He stroked your back like the way you'd do for him, reassuring you that all he wanted was for you to be comfortable with what you do, that you didn't need to do that anymore. After all, you were a person, not an object.

But it wouldn't hurt if you did use your pretty privilege once in a while~

Shiki gets extremely scared when you accept the free meal. He quickly rejects it, stating to the server that he’s already paying for everything. He doesn’t understand why this just happened even when you explained it to him.

He knows how beautiful you are, but this feels wrong. Should he even condone this? Whenever someone offers you something for free, their eyes look longingly at you and it’s something that Shiki fears.

He feels incredibly guilty now that this keeps happening, but he notices from the corner of his eye that you feel a little guilty about it too.

"(Y/N), it's okay to decline their offers if it makes you uncomfortable..." he spoke up. "B-But I know you've survived this long with your looks, so I don't expect you to stop! It's your decision after all..."

It just worries him that one day you’d be the one being taken advantage of. It scares him to think that someone would want something in return for their ‘generosity.’ Moreover, he thinks that the two of you would get in trouble for this, and he doesn't want to be caught up in that!

Due to his anxiety revolving around your pretty privilege, you decided to stop accepting the free gifts.

Sure, people are still going to goggle at you, but you no longer worked as a model who needed strangers’ generosity to survive. Now you can afford these things yourself like a normal person.

Shiki calms down, apologising for the fact that it was a great privilege to be this pretty to get free things. However, he just couldn’t have others gift you with free stuff when he was the one who wanted to do that for you.

"(Y/N), I'm going to work harder to afford the things you want!" he said triumphantly.

"Hehe, you don't need to do that, Shiki. You're all I need."

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