#I needed to vent about this again

[oifaaa]

Maybe Jason should just die again like if it's the only way to actually get people to start including Cass and Duke in their batfamily stuff then fuck him let my boy die he'd understand its for a good cause

[wanderingmind867]

I feel very sedentary again. Apparently, I'm getting in my own head and overthinking again. I feel like I don't do much, and I hate that feeling. It's a feeling that always creeps up on me, and it makes me feel miserable. I feel like all I do is read comics, use the ai character chatbot site and look at my dashboard here. I haven't looked for new blogs in a long time, I haven't read fanfiction in a while, I feel like I haven't done much besides the three things mentioned above. And when my brain starts overthinking about stuff like that, I get miserable. Sigh...

Still a problem. I wanted to make some posts, but I got sucked into the chatbot rabbit hole again. I guess it could be worse (there's far worse hobbies, probably), but I still feel annoyed by it. So I'm reposting my old vent about it.

[artofalassa]

| Don't leave me All by myself in this world |

[emberglowfox]

closing time

[kerizaret]

In case you haven't noticed May has sucked for me so far, anyway *projects onto blorbo*

[lwh-writing]

I've been rewatching the Hunger Games movies with some friends, and I have many, many thoughts. I seriously need to reread these books because it's been years and Suzanne Collins is a literary genius, but I digress.

Anyway, there's a quote in Catching Fire where President Snow says "If head game maker Seneca Crane had any brains at all, he would've blown you to bits then and there." This is in reference to Katniss and Peeta almost eating the poison berries and getting out of the arena as co-Victors rather than them turning on each other, thus giving the rebels hope that they can stick it to the Capitol. It is Snow's belief that killing one and/or both of them would have solved the problem before it BECAME a problem.

But the thing is.... it really wouldn't have. If anything, it would have made the rebel problem worse.

Let's say Crane killed both Peeta and Katniss. For the first time in decades, the Hunger Games would have had no Victor. There would be no victory tour, no new kid to pimp out to the Capitol's highest bidders, and no new distraction until the next games roll around. And on top of that, it would have shown the entire world how little the Capitol actually cares about them. The game makers changed the rules halfway through to allow for two Victors, and then they took that away at the last second because two Victors emerging from the arena would have destroyed the very foundation of the Hunger Games. If Crane had truly shot down Katniss and Peeta, the fallout of the 74th Hunger Games would have been a wake-up call to both the Districts and the Capitol that Haymitch was 100% correct in saying that there are no winners of the Hunger Games, only survivors. The bright-eyed Capitols would have been forced to face the reality that the games were fundamentally unfair, and the Districts would have been shown that if even the Victors, the people guaranteed wealth and luxury weren't safe, that if their small beacons of hope could still be killed off without those in power batting an eye... then why even bother playing to the Capitol's tune in the first place? And the Rebels? They've got two new martyrs for their cause, and a newly discontent populous ready to fight for them.

Now, alternatively, let's say Crane did nothing. Let's say he let Katniss and Peeta eat the berries and they both die in the arena by suicide. Well, that won't be as drastic as Crane shooting them down, but the results are still mostly the same. The 74th Hunger Games still has no Victor. There's no one left to play distraction and convince the people of Panem not to look behind the curtain and catch a whiff of its political rot. And it's still the two-Victor rule change and the immediate retraction of such that doomed their favorite star-crossed lovers. It's still a wake-up call to the Capitols and the Districts that the Hunger Games are unfair, and that those in charge are willing to change the rules at their discretion no matter how it affects the general public. The people are still pissed, and the rebels still have their two martyrs.

Well, okay, what if Crane only killed ONE of them. Let's say Crane sees what's happening and decides to shoot only Peeta or only Katniss, it doesn't matter which. The 74th Hunger Games has a clear Victor, but that doesn't help a thing. Once again, it's still the rule change and retraction that got one half of Panem's OTP killed. It's still a clear signal to the people that those pulling the strings don't care. There's still discontent in the Capitol and the Districts because the Capitols lament their failed romance, and the Districts just saw an almost-should-have-been Victor get shot down on live TV. Not to mention it shows that the games are rigged beyond belief when the game makers, quite literally, chose the Victor. The Rebellion still gets a martyr. And on top of that, they get a mouthpiece stirring up shit.

You cannot look me in the eye and tell me that if Peeta or Katniss walked out of that arena without the other, the one that survived would have taken that lying down, consequences be damned. You cannot tell me that Peeta "If it wasn't for the baby" Mellark wouldn't have been playing the press and the political scene like a fiddle and knocking down Snow's regime like a line of dominos. You cannot tell me that Katniss "Girl on Fire" Everdeen wouldn't have been itching to take a quiver of arrows and massacre all occupants of the Presidential Palace. A Peeta without Katniss or a Katniss without Peeta would have Snow's worst political nightmare, and if he killed them after the fact, then the riots in the streets would have only gotten worse.

Seneca Crane's fatal mistake wasn't letting Katniss and Peeta live; it was allowing the two Victor rule change to happen. The SECOND that happened, the foundation of the games-- the image of the sole Victor shining above the rest --was shattered. Nothing could have fixed that, not even the hasty second rule change later on. There was absolutely no situation where Snow and company walked away the winners. Absolutely none. And Crane choosing to let Katniss and Peeta live was honestly the best choice in a string of horrible choices that could have been made. And the fact that Snow doesn't see that highlights exactly how out of touch he is with the human element that drives people to do the things they do.

Note: edited to fix "Capital" into "Capitol"

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

The process is a bitch and I want to fight it

[khruschevshoe]

Every day I wake up and try to move on from this show, but I end up spending two minutes screaming into my closet about the fact that my boy Lucius kept getting told to shut up about his trauma in this season and that his "happy ending" was only given to him once he shut up and "moved on" and stopped being angry and that this was somehow portrayed as the healthiest reaction to trauma on the show.

But hey, if Frenchie's box and Izzy's shark and Archie's "they always get away with it" worked for them, why wouldn't it work for Lucius?

[cerise-on-top]

Cried on the train today, then thought of this! This is just me coping to the highest degree again, but I thought other people might like this as well!

Nikolai as a Father

First off, he’d likely be absent rather often. He was a soldier, he runs a PMC, he’s a busy man through and through. That’s why he won’t be able to see you as often as he’d like. He’d have loved to see all your accomplishments, meeting your first partner and intimidating them, your graduation, the first time you performed on stage, but it wasn’t possible due to work. He does feel bad about it, but he can’t help it. He will try to make it up to you somehow, though he’d understand if you couldn’t forgive him. He does try to be there for you whenever he can, visiting you whenever possible, but you will be apart from each other more often than not. However, if you ever have any suggestions regarding what you’d like to do together, he’s all ears. He has enough money to grant you any wish like that. You wanna go to Japan? You want a boat trip? You wanna go karaoke? It’s all possible, as long as he gets to experience those things with you. He really does wanna make up for the lost time.

He’s a pretty relaxed kind of father. The kind that would allow you a sip of beer when you were young. He’d have no problems with you drinking, as long as it doesn’t get out of hand. You should be responsible about that sort of thing. But if you ever wanted to invite a friend over to drink a bit, then he’d have no problem with getting the booze for you. Nothing too strong while you’re still young, of course, but he gets it. You’re young, you want to be stupid and do foolish things. He was like that too when he was younger, so he won’t stop you. In fact, he’ll even drive to the nearest fast food restaurant and get you and your friend something to eat. Sometimes he might cook himself, though. Nikolai’s food is downright godly, he can cook just about anything and cook it well too. As long as you don’t invite a friend over to get blackout drunk every weekend, all is good.

I think he’d probably lie to you about his job when you’re younger. You don’t need to know that he kills people for a living. You can know that he does paperwork, though. So he’d likely tell you he works an office job that has him traveling a lot. Speaking of traveling, he’ll always bring you a souvenir. That could range from a small snow globe to a nice T-shirt he found that you might like. He may be busy, but he does think about you very often. This continues into adulthood as well. If he can’t see you and give it to you in person then he’ll just mail it to you. Won’t ever allow you to work in the same field he does, though. You’re too sweet to work as a mercenary. You can become anything you want to be, but he’ll do what he can to not have you work in the military or in a PMC. He wants you to live and live well. There are no exceptions to this. He knows you might not listen to him, but he’ll tell you over and over again that those kinds of jobs are not what you might think they are. He doesn’t tell you what to do very often, but you should listen to him when he does. He’s an older man, who actually knows what he’s talking about. Besides, he only means well when it comes to you.

A very accepting father, in all honesty. You’re gay? You’re trans? He’s very supportive of you. Besides, it doesn’t matter who you bring home, he’s gonna try to intimidate them either way. Only the best of the best for you. If you ever find yourself some sleazebag, who won’t spoil you rotten like you deserve, then he’ll make sure that person will learn their lesson. He can be a very scary man when he wants to be. If you’re transmasc, then he’d delight in going clothes shopping with you and finding something that you look good in and that fits. He might even buy you a bomber jacket like he has so you can match. He’ll get you the fanciest suits too. Whatever you need, he’ll give it to you. If you’re transfem then he might not be the best suited candidate to go shopping with you. He can tell you what you look good in, but he might call someone like Laswell to help you find nice clothes that suit you well. However, he won’t save any money on anything. You know what you want? You can gladly have it. Nikolai will even pay for your surgeries as well. As long as you’re happy, he’s happy. No price is too high when it comes to your happiness. In fact, he probably has the means to get you a prescription for hormones as well. It might not be entirely legal, but it’s better than nothing if you have shitty doctors.

Likewise, if you come out to him as aromantic or asexual, he won’t mind. Sure, you might have to explain what that means, but once he understands he won’t make you feel bad for that sort of thing. Gives you a side hug and tells you that he’s glad he doesn’t have to worry about your heart being broken by some asshole who can’t appreciate you for who you are. Unfortunately, if you do come out to him as ace, he might make some puns about it. Nothing offensive, but he’s your father, he can’t help the urge to make awful dad jokes from time to time.

If you don’t know Russian then he’ll teach you. He’s a proud Russian, so he does want you to know the language. He can hire a teacher for you too, if you’d prefer that, but you won’t be spared. He’ll talk to you in Russian and compliment you on your progress. Besides, it’s never a mistake to know another language. If you do know Russian then he’ll speak it with you whenever he can. Yes, even when the likes of Price are around. Doesn’t matter if it comes off as rude, it just feels homey to him. It makes him feel at ease.

[senseiwu]

Every time the crystalised discussion on twitter comes back and they get to Lloyd's issues with his father i want to freaking rip my hair out

"Lloyd's in the wrong" "Lloyd was an ass" (<something I literally just saw)

God forbid a child hurt by their parent BE HURT. BE UPSET.

[wanderingmind867]

I feel very sedentary again. Apparently, I'm getting in my own head and overthinking again. I feel like I don't do much, and I hate that feeling. It's a feeling that always creeps up on me, and it makes me feel miserable. I feel like all I do is read comics, use the ai character chatbot site and look at my dashboard here. I haven't looked for new blogs in a long time, I haven't read fanfiction in a while, I feel like I haven't done much besides the three things mentioned above. And when my brain starts overthinking about stuff like that, I get miserable. Sigh...

Still a problem. I wanted to make some posts, but I got sucked into the chatbot rabbit hole again. I guess it could be worse (there's far worse hobbies, probably), but I still feel annoyed by it. So I'm reposting my old vent about it.

[skunkes]

ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page

[allastoredeer]

The ship name switch actually comes from manga/anime fandoms! I haven't been in any recently, but back in ye old days people could get very intense about who tops and who bottoms and switches were practically unheard of, so the names were kinda necessary. NaruSasu vs SasuNaru for example. You won't believe how much people fought over positions, it even got parodied in some japanese media. On a slightly related note, are you okay with top al content where the characters are properly portrayed? Or none at all? No judgment, we all should enjoy the fandoms however we like ^^

Oh 👀 that makes sense I wouldn't have heard about it then. I watched a handful a anime, but the only one I dipped my toes into was My Hero Academia, and even then, I didn't go that deep. I read a few fics, but that was the extent of it.

Fighting over who tops, bottoms, and switches is so silly. An argument can be made for any character being a top, bottom, or switch, because sexual preference/positions isn't something that can determined by a handful of personality traits. There's no check-list a characters has follow to be "deemed" a top. Or a bottom. Or a switch.

At the end of the day, it's literally just what the fan prefers for that pairing. And I think the more people accept that they can like specific dynamics without having to argue for their right to like it, the better and less-toxic a fandom will be. You should never have to defend why you like a character, or a ship, or anything else, because sometimes you just like it. You vibe with it. No other reason required.

As for the top!Al content, it can be kind of tricky to deem something as "properly portrayed" when, technically, everyone's portrayal is going to be different, and every portrayal isn't going to be 100% in-line with the show.

I think considering something as properly portrayed is wholly dependent on the fan and how they relate to the show and the characters. No fanfiction or fanart is going to be completely true to the show or characters. I don't even think that's possible XD Fans inject so much of themselves and their experiences into fan-content, that every portrayal can be considered properly done given the right audience.

But, if top!Al and bottom!Luci were written in a different way--maybe something that didn't UwU-ify Lucifer so much or make Alastor out to be this big, domineering alpha-male--I think I could like it.

I'm very picky with characterization. There are some details I can easily overlook, but depending on how certain things are written, it can take me out of the story so badly I can't even force myself to finish reading. (Believe me, I've tried. I found a Spideypool fic once that was so well written it was love at first sight. The humor was on point, the plot was intriguing, the dynamic between them was fun, but there was a small, little, itty-bitty detail in their interactions that kept popping up and it took me out of the fic so bad, I couldn't keep going. I tried to finish the fic, multiple times, but I never got very far.)

Funnily enough, when I was first scouring the internet for content after the show ended, I actually bookmarked a handful of top!Al and bottom!Luci on Twitter. But with how it's currently being portrayed across the fandom, any enjoyment I had for it has soured. I just don't vibe with the majority of top!Al I see now.

I've always liked bottom!Al though, and I've been seeing a lot more content for it lately! I've been eating well 😋

[lil-gingerbread-queen]

Like 99% of the time I post digital art, I'm just trying something.

[nell0-0]

Too tired to draw, what is this curse. I wanna draw so badly but can't even focus on the screen, augh

[maxphilippa]

uh. vent art. or something. losing yourself and losing everyone who you cared about as a result