#(no mention of Duke)

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations

[prokopetz]

Frankly, the biggest reason nobody can figure out how to make a Duke Nukem reboot work is because they think the 90s edgelord bullshit is the main reason that Duke Nukem 3D was such a breakout hit, when the truth of the matter is that it succeeded at least partly in spite of that. Duke Nukem 3D legitimately pushed the envelope in terms of what it was possible for a first-person shooter to be – in many ways it's just as foundational to the genre in its modern form as Wolfenstein 3D or Doom. You can't recapture that with dick jokes, and if you're not willing to take risks in terms of basic game design, dick jokes are all you have.

Ultimately, what the franchise really needs to shake off its creative rust is to stop trying to iterate on its established formula and shift genres entirely. To this end, I have a proposal: make the next Duke Nukem game a side-scrolling metroidvania. In this essay

[caffeinatedvigilantewriter]

So Dani has gotten captured by the GIW, and got reverted to her chronological age (7, she was 19 when she was captured. Team phantom was attending collage and could get to her in time)

Luckily, Bruce Wayne, training to be Batman, breaks into the Base and rescues her.

He invites her to joins him while traveling and she accepts. But, after a while Bruce heads back to Gotham and they part way. (Dani was 8). Dani was the kid he never had.

Dani visits whenever Bruce’s kids are all away, so she’s never meet them. And Bruce forgets to mention the fact that they all have an older sister (Bruce is her emergency guardian)

There are multiple ways the batkids can find out about Dani

“Bruce? I found your old video logs from when you trained to be Batman, and who’s the kid you’re with?”

“Oh that your sister. She’s dead”

———————

“All in favor for Phantasm the ghost girl to join the JLD?!”

“Superman, I thought I said that none of my kids will be joking the Justice League while I’m still alive.”

“She’s your kid? But she dead!”

———————

“BRUCE! I thought you said you were in Paris for a mission with a partner?”

“I was.”

“Then why is there a photo of you in a cafe with a women three years older than Dick?!”

“She was my partner.”

“Who is she?”

“She’s your sister, Duke.”

———————

“Oh no!? How do we defeat big bad ghost baddie?!?”

“Hn. I will call in an expert.”

“Batman, you know someone who is an expert with ghosts? Who is she?”

“My daughter.”

“Black Bat?”

“No, my other daughter.”

“Spoiler?”

“No. My oldest daughter.”

“Oracle?”

“No.”

“What other daughter do you have?”

“Dani. She’s dead.”

[clericxhood777]

Part Five; they're teenagers, don't freak out

[aus-for-shitsandgiggles]

Duke: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, malewife our way out of it this time. (It a non vigilante problem)

Damian and Jason: Manslaughter

Dick: manwhore

Everyone: 👀👀👀

Dick: manslaughter it is

Tim: its time to girl boss *calls Cass, Babs, and Steph*

[mirthmave]

So I was thinking about the whole younger siblings getting taller that older siblings thing that I am a victim of and it got me thinking.

So it’s known that some boys will continue to grow until they reach the age of 21 . Not all of them mind you, but some of them do.

From what I remember, Dick is currently 26, Jason is 22-23, Tim is forever 16-17 and Damian is 14.

Dick being the eldest was able to stay the tallest for a long time. Then Jason came back around 17-18 and suddenly his little brother isn’t so little anymore and Dick suddenly realises that it is possible that the others will get taller than him as well.

Damian is a given as Bruce is 6’2” so Dick knows that he hasn’t got a chance there, especially when Damian starts getting that mid-teen growth spurt. But Tim…

Tim has always been shorter than him by four inches. He’s 5’6” and Dick is 5’10” and the kid is barely growing. There is hope that he will continue to be taller than Tim!

Little does Dick know that Tim is still growing, just slowly.

Something happens that causes Tim and Dick not to see each other for a little while (nothing bad, just busy vigilante stuff) so it comes as a shock to Dick when they can all get together for dinner finally that he’s not seeing the top of Tim’s head.

No, that boy is now looking at him eye to eye.

Only not completely because Tim now has an inch on Dick.

[rubydubydoo122]

I’m just gonna say this, the main reason people don’t like Damian Wayne as a character is the same reason people didn’t like Jason Todd back in the 80s

People don’t like either of them because their favorite Robin (Tim Drake and Dick Grayson) got replaced by them.

Damian and Jason are both really interesting and complex character, objectively more complex than both Tim and Dick, but some people (cough, obnoxious Tim fans, cough, and Dick fans who over sexualize him, cough) don’t see that and just want their little blorbos to never grow into their own character apart from Batman.

[mistergreatbones]

Dick when Duke brings up the whole “tricked him into getting arrested” thing during an argument:

[luludeluluramblings]

Smalltown! Neglected! Meta! Reader x Yandere! Batfam

Part Four

Part One ☁️ Part Two ☁️ Part Three ☁️ Part Five ☁️ Part Six ☁️ Part Seven

Warning: Obessive behavior, Yandere tendencies, su*c*de/death.

A/N: Finally adding warning labels. We’re getting somewhere. I’ve had some of this written out, but had to add some stuff in to drive it home. Reader’s coping skills are failing, but everyone’s starting to get obsessive. Also, I’ve been fighting myself on drawing art for this. (I’m a bit out of practice.)

Reader has basically called befriending Damian and Jason a lost cause.

Bruce still avoids reader. And, everyone else is still busy with what Reader assumes is Batwork. (Which is fine, Reader is fine. It’s not like they’re stuck in the manor pacing the halls every damn day.)

Cass and Duke’s get back from their respective missions. They weren’t gone too long, but they’re come back a bit roughed up. They debrief with Bruce and then have to go back to being civilians.

Reader is waiting to comfort them. Not to confront them. Reader’s more concerned with how Duke has a mild limp and how Cass’s knuckles have some bruising than them ditching. Plus, reader is still not completely sure that her family is Gotham’s vigilantes. They need to confirm.

But, Duke and Cass both appreciate Reader checking on them and not asking questions. Cass suspects Reader suspects something, judging by Reader’s body language. But, it’s nice for someone who’s naturally soft to be soft with you.

Duke appreciates how Reader treats him so, normally. In a way it reminds him of his childhood, when things were easier. He has a normal friend now, completely mostly free of Gotham’s crazy.

Reader is happy their back, but disappointed that they won’t be going to the school gala. In fact, a few family members make comments about how it sounds like a waste of time.

Bruce, however, is actually happy Reader is excited. And, Reader gets even more excited when one of their new friends ask to be their date. Reader’s date is so genuinely excited about going to this Gala with Reader. (Uh-oh, that’s not good.)

Some of Reader’s other friends, the more haughty and wealthy ones, tell Reader that they should’ve picked someone more… refined. Which Reader defends that their Date is perfectly sweet and good looking to boot.

But, this leads Reader to decide not to tell anyone in the family about their date. They don’t want to hear the same thing from their Gotham family. Reader does inform BFF, younger brother, and Nana of their date. For some reason, BFF was a bit disgruntled, and even Nana tried to convince them it was probably best not to go. Younger Brother was encouraging reader to have fun. (But he was whispering into the phone, and asking Reader if he could come visit them soon. Please. People are acting weird here. Is everything okay, do you need me to come home. No. No. Don’t— It’s fine. I just wanna come visit you.)

But, reader was committed to going and enjoying their date and wearing their custom made outfit.

That night, Reader was given Bruce’s permission to get ready at one of their friends’ houses. Reader was practically spoiled by their friends, it was almost a bit overwhelming. Their date meet them at the Gala escorting them inside and having a wonderful time. (I hope it last. It’s not going to though. How sad.)

At the end of the night, their Date escorted them home. To end a near perfect night Reader got a kiss. A long and pretty heated kiss. Right in front of the Entrance camera.

Tim had pulled up the camera feed when Reader got home, at Bruce’s request, just to check on Reader. (He was going to do it anyway.) The entire family was winding down from Patrol in the Batcave when the feed came on. Leaving them all to get a front row seat to Reader’s little act of rebellion.

(That’s all this was, right. Just a little act of rebellion. This won’t happen again, obviously. They won’t fucking let it.)

Bruce is livid. It doesn’t help that Jason wolf-whistles to further enrage him. (Jason is making plans to break someone’s leg though. Possibly the Dates. How fucking dare they corrupt you, that’s his job.)

Stephane is honestly impressed, didn’t think Reader had it in them. (How cute! I wonder what we could get up to together.)

Duke, sweet Duke, didn’t want to see that. His (best) friend getting tongued down on camera. He’s going to need bleach and therapy. (Why would you do that? When you can just game with him. You’re his bro. Gross.)

Cassandra is… understanding. Reader has needs. Reader wants affection. That’s fine. But, not that one. Pick someone else. (Llet her pick, actually. You can’t read people like her, you need someone better. Someone you she can trust. She needs to approve of them first.)

Dick is more disapproving, but he understands. Still, this changes how he sees Reader. Sweet innocent helpless Reader has a wild side. (But still reader is clearly helpless, obviously they don’t know what they’re doing.)

It also changes how Barbara sees Reader. Or confirms. Barbara runs under the assumption that Reader is more like Bruce than anyone realizes. (She’s not wrong, but it’s not in the way she thinks.) Bruce is a bit of natural flirt, he just hides it in his ‘Brucie’ persona. Reader apparently takes after that. (Damian sure didn’t.)

Damian, is disgusted, disappointed, and disapproving. He doesn’t doubt Father will scold you, but your date needs to be dealt with and all other suitors as well. (He’ll take care of it. He’s your brother, that’s his job.)

Tim, however, is legitimately jealous. He wanted to see this side of reader first. He got a glimpse of it before, but he wants it for himself now that he sees the full thing. (Also, right in front of the camera? Did Reader know it was there? If they did, would they be okay with Tim filming them more? Just to observe, please.)

Tim immediately starts pulling up all the information he can about Reader’s date. Without Bruce’s prompting this time. Bruce does nod in approval before marching to the entrance. Intent on putting an end to this and giving Reader a firm talking to.

It goes, horribly. Date is forced to leave and Bruce tears into Reader. (What happened to the outfit I bought you? Why didn’t you tell me you had a date? I didn’t approve of this. I don’t care that you’re back on time or that you’re old enough, you’re my child! Mine! You get my approval first.)

Reader stays composed, barely. The good news is that the brutal scolding is the only consequence Reader faces. (Bruce is more upset about Reader not seeking his approval than doing something he disapproves of. He’s your father. He should have a damn say. Would you have done this to D̴̖̞͑̊̓a̷͎͗̇d̸̜͍̩̓̎d̸̪̩̟̆̎y̶̛̼̌? Why are you doing this to him?)

The bad news, Reader’s date’s life is over. With just a few clicks from Tim and approval from Bruce, Date’s family company falling apart. Reported to the government, lawsuits filed by third-parties. Hidden debts needing to be collected NOW. Any misfiled taxes? Found and reported. And, most importantly, all calls and ways for Date to contact reader again, blocked.

Socially and financially, Date’s life is ruined in less than twenty-four hours. Worst of all, Reader doesn’t know. They’re still on cloud nine about the night, despite Bruce’s lecture. But, come Sunday morning, two days later, things fall apart.

Date is reported dead. Apparent suic1de just the night before. The financial implosion of the family was named the apparent reason.

Reader is distraught, confused, and hurt. What happened? What’s going on? This can’t be happening. I don’t want to lose anymore people I care about. I don’t want to lose someone like Momma and Daddy again.

Reader’s Gotham friends console Reader, saying it’s not their fault. That Date struggled with thought before. Don’t blame yourself. (They weren’t worth your time.)

Surprisingly enough, it’s Dick that finds reader having a borderline breakdown.

Dick clings and coddles and coos, but this time. Reader clings back. Reader clings back tight. Desperate for comfort. Which is surprising for Dick.

Most of the family tends to brush off his attempts at comfort until they hit rock bottom. For once, this isn’t someone hitting rock bottom before they need him. This is someone that’s just genuinely sad and overwhelmed and needs wants him.

Dick also ran under the assumption that Reader was allergic to affection, like Damian and Bruce. But, apparently, that wasn’t the case. It’s a nice feeling. To have someone not fight him when he tries to be comforting. Someone who is happy to take it. Of course, he doesn’t stay long. Once Reader pulls themselves together he’s got to get back to Buldhaven, but this time he leaves a bit slower. (But, him leaving somehow makes Reader feel worse.)

[5-7-9]

This family barely even likes cucumber sandwiches 😭 Why does he keep trying anymore

[incorrectbatfam]

Has Bruce ever packed the kids lunch when Alfred wasn't there? How'd it go?

[Wayne Enterprises]

Tim: Finally, time for my break.

Tim: *opens his mini fridge*

*dozens of apples fall out*

———————

[the library]

Steph: *chugs a gallon of milk*

Cass: *bites into a bread loaf*

Barbara: I'm not even gonna ask.

———————

[day patrol]

Duke: *opens his lunchbox*

Duke: *sighs*

Duke: *pulls out his bat-skillet*

Duke: *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg* *cracks an egg—*

———————

[West-Reeve Middle School]

Damian: Kent, I will trade you your cupcake for this head of lettuce.

Jon: ...

Jon: Deal.

———————

[Bludhaven]

Jason: Bruce packed our lunches. He said we're supposed to share.

Jason: *hands him a bag*

Dick: What'd you get?

Jason: A frozen turkey. You?

Dick: *opens it*

*fire alarm goes off*

[shyjusticewarrior]

[Jason and Tim training after Jason got his fear failsafe]

Jason: You're holding back.

Tim: That's what sparring is, Jason.

Jason: When I sparred with Signal he pointed my gun at me.

Duke: It's true.

[robinsfilm]

FURRY NEW BEGGINGS

navigation ; masterlist.

pairing : jason todd ✗ gn!reader.

summary : In which the cat distribution system catches up to you and Jason.

warnings : no serious warnings, just alot of fluff and a short lived (or not) rivalry between the cat and jaybeans.

word count : 1k.

notes : switching up the theme a bit, can't always find those pretty headers. wE NEED A NAME FOR THE CAT!!!

The first time he saw the cat, Jason was returning home from patrol. The rain was pouring down in streets, and he hurried through the storm, eager to get back to you as quickly as possible. The weather made everything difficult—the buildings blurred together, neon signs became unreadable, and the sounds of the city were muffled through his helmet.

But despite the downpour, he didn't miss the small spot of light orange in the corner of his eye. It stood out against the dark, murky colors of the alley it was huddled in. Nestled in a small, soggy cardboard box between two trash bags, something shifted.

What's that?

Jason knew he needed to get home. He was freezing and bone-tired, but his curiosity got the better of him.

What's the worst that could happen?

Turns out, the worst that could happen is making a new, vicious enemy out of a stray cat.

Jason landed swiftly in the dark alley, the shadows swallowing up what little light there was. He approached the cardboard box cautiously and gently lifted the lid, unsure of what he might find inside.

The first thing that caught his attention was a pair of greenish-brown eyes staring back at him, followed by the sight of ginger-striped fur. The creature let out a small, plaintive mewl.

Oh, it’s a cat.

In the box sat a big, angry orange tabby. A very angry orange tabby, actually. The cat gave him a fixed, piercing stare, its fur and tail puffing up as it let out a throaty, warning meow.

Jason instinctively raised his hands, palms open, to show he meant no harm, but it was too late—the cat swiped at him with a paw, claws fully extended!

"Alright, I got the hint! No need for violence, little guy. Well—not so little. I mean, just look at you." Jason chuckled softly, trying to diffuse the tension.

The cat's ears swiveled backward and flattened against its head, its body puffing up even more as it attempted to make itself look bigger, more intimidating.

"Okay, okay. I’ll leave you to... whatever you’re doing."

*****

The second time he saw the cat was when he was with you, just returning from a grocery run.

"Who even says that to a worker? It's not like they set the prices," you huffed, recounting an incident at the 7/11 you both had just visited. An old lady had been loudly complaining about the cost of a few products, taking it out on the poor cashier behind the counter.

"I know, baby, but you put her in her place." Jason wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer. "So, don't worry about it anymore."

"You're right, it's just—" Jason’s ear tuned out your next words as a familiar spot of light orange caught his eye. A pair of greenish-brown eyes glared at him menacingly.

No way... it can't be the same cat...

"Honey? Jay? What's wrong?" you asked, turning to him, trying to catch his attention.

"Huh? Oh, yeah? Sorry," Jason replied, snapping back to reality with a smile. "Something just caught my eye." But when he turned to look again, the cat was already gone.

Annoying little bastard...

"What did?" you inquired, glancing around to spot whatever had distracted him.

"An orange tabby cat that I’ve apparently started a rivalry with." Jason deadpanned.

"You started a what with a what..?" you stammered, clearly confused by his response. But Jason just grabbed your hand and quickly led you away.

*****

The third time he saw the cat was in his apartment. In his goddamn home.

Jason dropped the bag of snacks he’d just bought from the corner shop out of sheer shock. How did the cat find him? Had it followed him? Was this how it spotted him last time near the grocery store? What was this cat’s plan?

Just then, you rounded the corner, emerging from the kitchen with a small bowl of wet cat food in your hands.

Your face lit up when you saw him. "Welcome back!"

"Hi, baby. Who’s this?" Jason pointed to the cat, now holding its tail high with a slight curl at the top. The cat purred softly as it rubbed its head against Jason’s boot.

"Awh! Look, he likes you!" You beamed, your face lighting up with a smile. "Is this the tabby you were talking about? I can’t imagine him being evil at all, isn’t that right?" You squealed with delight, setting the bowl down near the cat.

The cat slowly blinked at you before cautiously approaching the bowl and taking a tentative bite of the food.

Jason tried to ask how the cat got in, where you found it, and why you let it in, but you shushed him.

"Did you just shush me?" he muttered in disbelief, half-laughing.

"I think it’s fate!" you exclaimed. "You found him, he found you, and now he’s here! He belongs with us. Please, Jay, can we keep him?"

Now that was something he never thought he’d hear. Usually, it was Damian asking Bruce to keep some random animal he’d found—not as a pet, of course. Oh no, not at all.

Jason stared at the tabby for a few moments, then at you, with your big smile and pleading eyes staring back at him.

Crap, this is hard. No wonder Bruce never says no to whatever Damian drags into the house. Jason still remembers the cow...

"...Fine."

"Yay!" You celebrated with a little hop.

"How did it even find us?" Jason eyed the cat suspiciously.

"I’m not sure. But you’ve got to get used to him. I think he likes you!" you said as the cat wobbled back over and rubbed its head against Jason’s boot again. "See? Isn’t he adorable?"

Jason sighed softly, then gave you both a small, reluctant smile. "Yeah, he’s a little bit cute, I guess."

"Oh, I almost forgot! We need to name him."

Jason grumbled under his breath. This was going to be a long week—but maybe, just maybe, it might be a tad bit happier than the previous ones.

© ROBINSFILM ﹕ I do not give consent for my writing to be posted or used on any other platforms without my permission and proper credit.

[dukecarrion]

this one was done in response to the results of the persona champions polls going on on twitter

[ghost-bxrd]

Slightly dark/insane batfam who is overjoyed to have Jason back from death is one of my favorite aus ever. Like imagine Bruce being oh so proud of his son who ended entire gangs and built an empire in a matter of months before he even turned 19. Ofc he's gonna brag to this fellow JL members. His kid is just so driven and smart! Jason has no idea if they were always like this or if his death made them this way but he's not complaining (much).

Ooo that would be interesting!

Like, a Batman who still doesn’t kill and adheres to his moral code but has absolutely no problem if his kids turn murderous. He’s a proud and supportive dad either way, the only rule he has is that they keep it strictly to criminals and leave alone the regular civilians.

He went a little cuckoo when he lost Jason. As did Dick. (And Tim wasn’t sane either way lmao)

[wondersinwaynemanor]

when Lian started calling Bruce "Grandpa", his kids didn't want him to forget it.

Bruce passing by outside of Dick's room.

Dick, announces in his loudest voice: Ay, there's Bruce Wayne! The best Grandpa in town. No wait, second best, after Alfred.

Bruce gives his eldest a look.

Dick, lowers his voice: Sorry B, Alfred is the best in everything.

Bruce: Hn.

Bruce stands up from his chair at the dining area to get more tea.

Cass, smiles as she hands Bruce the teapot: Here. Don't tire yourself.

Bruce: Thank you, Sweetheart. But I can get my own tea-

Cass, signs "Grandpa" and leans down to kiss Bruce on the cheek.

Bruce, can't help but smile: Hn.

Steph, peaks through the door of Bruce's study room: Oooh, what's this I hear? Brucie Wayne, famous billionaire and playboy, is now a Grandpa? What would the ladies say? What would the male nation say now?

Bruce, pinches the bridge of his nose and focuses on the papers on the table: Hn.

Red Robin, speaks through the comms: I'll drive the Batmobile to you.

Batman: RR, I got it. Stay there-

Red Robin: Nah, I heard you complaining about your back pains the other night.

Batman: It's a regular occurance at this point of my life.

Red Robin, smirks: And we don't want it to be worse, right?

Batman sighs through the comms.

Red Robin: Exactly. ETA 10 minutes. Grandpa.

Batman, growls: Hn.

Duke: Just checking if you need anything before I head out for patrol, B.

Bruce, smiles: I appreciate it. Thank you Duke, but I'm good.

Duke: Steph and Tim said-

Bruce, narrows his eyes: What did they say to you?

Duke, grins: Nothing!

Bruce thinks Duke has left the Batcave but he suddenly shouts,

Duke: Watch your steps carefully when you come back up here, Grandpa. Maybe put more lighting in your cave.

Bruce: Hn.

Damian: How does it feel to be a Grandfather now, Father?

Bruce, smiles instantly: Really good. Lian is wonderful.

Damian, tries to hide a smile: I'm aware, Father. Does this mean Richard gets to be Batman again?

Bruce: What makes you say that?

Damian: Cus I don't you working too hard like Grandfather. That was unhealthy.

Bruce: I'm perfectly healthy, Damian. No need to worry-

Damian, turns off the batcomputer: I insist, Father. We shall put you to bed now.

Bruce: Isn't that my job?

Damian: I don't want to hear another word.

Bruce: Hn.

During breakfast

Jason, turns to face Bruce: Lian has been asking when she can visit her Grandpa.

Steph, howls: Brucie Wayne, the famous Grandpa of all time.

Tim, snickers: Batman, the greatest detective? More like the greatest Grandpa.

Duke, raises his glass of water: Hear, hear.

Cass, giggles as she covers her mouth.

Dick, laughs : Children, not in front of our food, please. Learn how to respect your elders.

Damian: Eat some more, Father.

Jason, laughs: They still at it, huh?

Bruce, sighs and covers his face behind the newspaper as his kids continue to tease him.