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#I read some of the book and there are a LOT of things that match up but some things don't match at all
tryingtograspctrl · 15 hours
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THAT JUST WON’T DO: LOUIS AND LESTAT X BLACK PLUS SIZE READER
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SUMMARY: Sometimes you felt insecure, unworthy of their love... oh how wrong you were.
Warning: Blood, insecurities, sexual themes, etc.
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You were 25 when you received the dark gift. The vampire that made you wanted nothing to do with you, turning you and leaving you to fend for yourself, learning how to feed on your own, digging holes and burying yourself beneath dirt to avoid the sun, you couldn't afford the luxury of a coffin, the luxury of a home in general. You had nothing, no one, no where to go, you were lost...
Louis had stumbled upon you first, your thoughts loud, beating inside his head like a drum.
You were in a dark alley, knees pulled to your chest, rocking yourself back and forth attempting to self sooth.
You were filthy, your hair caked with dirt, your clothes the same. To anyone else you probably looked some homeless addict, but Louis knew exactly what this was, he could sense you, practically smell the fear on you, the pain, the hurt and he was pretty sure any other vampire in a 10 mile radius could too. He was surprised nobody else had gotten to you first.
"What are you doing out here all alone?" He spoke telepathically.
You jolted, backing away frightened as he approached you.
"I'm not going to hurt you." He put his hands up, stopping a few feet away from you.
You looked at him skeptically attempting to poke around in his mind but hitting a wall.
"I'm a little better at controlling my thoughts, i've been around a lot longer than you." He half smiled squatting in front of you.
"I'm alone because i don't have anyone." You looked up at him.
"What?" He raised a brow.
"My maker left me, i don't have anyone." You whispered.
He got a good look at your face, really soaking up your features, his eyes locking with yours. They were green, similar to his.
He took pity on you, your circumstances pulling at his heart strings.
"Come on, i know you're hungry. We'll get you fed and cleaned up." He extended his hand to you.
You accepted it hesitantly.
When Louis first brought you home Lestat was completely against it, he didn't like the idea of having to raise another vampire, not after everything that happened.
It took some time but he eventually warmed up to you, quickly taking a liking to you and showering you with affection and gifts, money was no object of course.
The three of you grew to love each other, eventually establishing a relationship and things were going good, until you got inside your head too much....
The sun had just begun to set and the three of you were lounging around the living room, Louis reading a book, Lestat messing around on the piano and you knitting a new project.
"Dove?" Lestat stands suddenly, taking a seat beside you on the couch and pulling you into his lap.
"Yes baby?" You glanced up at him for a moment.
"Me and Louis have a dinner to attend tonight, business matters. We were hoping you would join us.." He looked at you expectantly, fingers grazing your plump thigh.
"Of course i'll come, should i go get ready now?" You asked placing your knitting supplies down.
"Yes, i have an outfit in the bedroom for you." He pecked your cheek.
You made your way up the stairs, eyes landing on the gorgeous black gown that laid across the bed.
There were a matching set of heels and several pieces of jewelry that you were sure costed more than a house paired with it.
You walked over to the full length mirror, holding the dress to your body skeptically.
It was beautiful but you weren't sure how it was going to look on you.
You slipped out of your previous outfit, sliding the dress over your wide hips with ease. It fit perfectly of course, all your clothes did, Louis and Lestat made sure of that.
You turned to the side suddenly feeling self conscious.
It accentuated every curve, including your stomach which you hated.
Bloody tears began to pool in the corners of your eyes threatening to spill down your chubby cheeks.
You absolutely hated the way you looked and negative thoughts began to flood your mind.
Louis and Lestat were head over heels for you, you knew that, they made sure you knew that every single day but sometimes your insecurities got the best of you and tonight was just one of those nights.
They were both stunning, they had men and women falling at their feet and yet they chose you and you had absolutely no idea why. In your eyes you weren't worthy, you didn't deserve them.
"Y/n you almost ready?" Louis walked in adjusting his tie.
"Yeah." You quickly wiped your eyes trying to hide your tears.
"Aw baby what wrong?" He rushed over, pulling you into his embrace.
"This dress, i'm not sure about it, i don't think it's meant for me."
"And why in the world do you think that?" He spun you around getting a good look at you.
"I don't know, i just... i don't feel like i look my best today." You sniffled looking down at your feet.
"Hey." He grabbed you chin forcing you to look at him.
"You look stunning, where's all this coming from?" His eyes searched yours.
He didn't read your mind often out of respect for you but he just had to know what was bothering you.
"Oh baby, no, no no no, we aren't having any of that." He turned you toward the mirror, chin resting on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your middle.
"We picked you not only because you're beautiful on the outside." He spoke lowly trailing kisses down your shoulder.
"But because you're beautiful on the inside as well, a heart of gold, a mind so fascinating, so intriguing. There's no one else we'd rather be with." His lips met yours.
"Thank you Louis baby, i really needed that." You smiled up at him.
"Good, and don't you ever forget it you hear?" He poked your nose, accent slipping out.
"Yes sir." You purred.
"Be careful now, we might not make it to the dinner." He grabbed you by the waist pulling you flush against him.
"I swear you two are always the slowest." Lestat rambled to himself, half english, half french as he approached the bedroom.
He stopped in his tracks upon seeing you.
"You like it? Still gotta put the shoes on, it won't take long we'll be out in a sec." You fiddled with your thumbs, biting your nip nervously.
"I think we should cancel mon chér, yes?" He looked over at Louis as he readjusted his dress pants.
Wait a minute was he... was he aroused?
Your eyes widened at the realization and you and Louis couldn't help but laugh.
You were flattered.
"And why would we do that?" Louis raised a brow, smirking.
"We have more pressing matters to attend to, chéri how much do you like this dress?" Lestat walked over to you, fingers sinking into the fabric as if he was prepared to rip it.
"Hey! I don't think so, i just put this on." You slapped his hands away.
"We can get you a new one." He frowned.
"No sir, we're already late, let's go." You hurriedly put your shoes on.
He scowled helping you with your necklace.
You turned around grabbing his face, pulling him down to whisper in his ear.
"Be a good boy at this dinner and you'll get your dessert when we get back home, yeah?" You nibbled on his ear.
He shuddered nodding rapidly.
"Let's get this over with quickly." He rushed you and Louis out the door.
You laughed at his antics quickly grabbing your bag.
A/N - I’ve had so many story ideas for these two in my drafts but i was honestly scared to post them ahhhh. Anyways i hope this is received well cause i have a lot more itwv fics locked and loaded. Enjoy soft Lestat and Louis. 🌻
Also if you want to be apart of my tag list please comment under this post!!
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dracomalfoy7 · 1 day
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New Heights
Fred Weasley x Slytherin!Reader 
Summary: Y/N is a year older than Fred and after not seeing him all summer Fred’s growth spurt becomes…a surprise.
Word Count: 2.2k+
Warnings: Fluff, Swearingish?
A/N: Been back on Harry Potter TikTok and there are some good POV’s so I'm writing them for you guys ;) PS. gif isn't mine.
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You have always been close with the Weasley family. Your mom was best friends with Molly, so your summers were practically spent at the Burrow. You loved the chaos of it all—Percy with his nose in a book, Fred and George constantly trying to out-prank each other, Ginny tagging along with the boys, and Ron being the easy target of his older brothers' tricks. But it was Percy you were closest to. Only a year younger than him, you and Percy shared a unique bond. While everyone else was wild and adventurous, the two of you spent countless hours with him reading and you flying on your broom. Of course, you both loved to scheme against Fred and George whenever the opportunity arose.
When you finally got your letter to Hogwarts, you were ecstatic. Percy was already there, and you couldn’t wait to be sorted into Gryffindor and spend your school days together just like you had spent your summers. That didn’t happen, though. The Sorting Hat placed you in Slytherin. You were devastated at first, but it didn’t take long to realize that being in different houses didn’t change anything. You still spent every free moment with Percy, and more often than not, that meant time with his family as well.
That was how it had always been—until this past summer. When you were offered a spot in the exclusive quidditch camp. Though the decision wasn’t easy, Percy, being the ever-logical best friend he was, insisted you take the opportunity. "We'll always be here," he'd said. "But this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance."
And so, you went. The summer flew by in a whirlwind of practices, matches, and drills. You barely had time to write home, and when you returned to Hogwarts, it felt like you'd been gone for ages.
Percy greeted you at the train station with a tight hug, rambling on about his summer adventures. "Penelope Clearwater and I spent a lot of time together," he said with a small blush. You smiled, happy that Percy had found someone to share his time with. Then he continued, telling you all about the pranks Fred and George had pulled on Ron, and how Ginny had grown more into her own.
As the two of you walked into the Great Hall, you couldn't help but notice how different it felt coming back. Percy steered you towards the Gryffindor table where the rest of the Weasleys were sitting. Your heart lifted when you saw them—Ginny, Ron, George, Fred. They stood up to greet you, and you smiled warmly at them.
But then your gaze landed on Fred.
He turned to face you, and you froze for a moment, not believing your eyes. The Fred Weasley you had last seen before summer had changed—dramatically.
He had grown. A lot.
Fred Weasley turned toward you and stood up. The last time you'd seen him, he had been your typical gangly teenage boy, all limbs and grins. But now... well, now he was towering over your 5’3" frame. His shoulders had broadened over the summer, his face had lost its boyish roundness, and there was a new confidence about him that made your stomach flip unexpectedly.
"Y/N!" Fred grinned down at you, his voice a bit deeper than you remembered too. He enveloped you in a tight, friendly hug, the warmth of him surrounding you in a way that was strangely comforting and yet disorienting all at once.
"You’re taller," was the first thing you said when he pulled away, still looking up at him in disbelief.
Fred’s grin widened, mischief flickering in his eyes. "Noticed, did you?"
George piped up from behind him, laughing. "Fred's an I had a bit of a growth spurt, haven’t we? Over the summer, we especially him shot up like a bloody tree."
"Yeah, had a bit of a growth spurt," Fred said casually, though the amusement in his eyes suggested he was reveling in your reaction. "Quidditch does that to you."
"Quidditch?" you echoed, still staring up at him in disbelief.
"Yeah, been practicing loads this summer," Fred explained, crossing his arms over his chest. "George and I are aiming for professional teams once we’re done here."
You nodded, but your thoughts were still swirling. How had Fred changed so much in just one summer? It wasn’t just the height or the broader shoulders; there was something different about him. He seemed more... grown up.
"Y/N, you’re staring," Percy’s voice broke through your thoughts, and you turned to see him smirking at you, a knowing glint in his eyes.
Heat flooded your face. "I am not!" you protested, but Percy raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it.
Fred laughed, the sound deep and warm, and your stomach did another unexpected flip. "It’s alright, Y/N. You can stare all you want. I don't mind."
You felt a flutter of surprise, one you hadn’t expected. This wasn’t the Fred Weasley you remembered—this was someone else entirely.
Your brain tried to catch up with the change, but it was hard to shake the image of the Fred you’d known before. The one you’d spent years pranking, teasing, and playfully bickering with. You glanced back at Percy, who just gave you a knowing smirk. "It’s been quite the adjustment," Percy said, a hint of amusement in his voice.
You turned back to Fred, and he winked at you. "Still shorter than you in spirit, though."
You found yourself laughing, but there was a nervous edge to it. What was this? Why did you suddenly feel…different around him? You’d known Fred since you were kids. You’d never felt this way before, not even a little. But now, standing in front of him, it was like someone had flipped a switch inside you.
"I suppose I’ll have to get used to looking up at you now," you said, trying to shake off the odd feeling.
Fred raised an eyebrow, his grin never faltering. "You’ll manage. If not, I’m happy to carry you around." He winked again, and this time, you felt your cheeks heat up.
Merlin, this was going to be a long year.
The rest of the day passed in a blur, but Fred's new height and presence stayed in the back of your mind. You tried to act normal—laughing with the others, catching up on everything you’d missed. But every time Fred spoke or laughed, you found yourself glancing his way, your heart giving a little lurch each time.
Later that evening, as you sat in the common room with Percy, you couldn’t help but bring it up.
"Did Fred always…well, has he always been…?"
"Tall?" Percy asked, raising an eyebrow. "Not until this summer. Why?"
You shifted uncomfortably, not sure how to explain it. "It’s just…different. He seems different."
Percy smiled knowingly. "You’re not the only one who's noticed. Ginny mentioned it too. The twins have always been a bit of prats, but now they got the looks to match."
You sighed, sinking deeper into the chair. "It’s just weird, I guess. I mean, I’ve known him forever, and now suddenly—"
"You fancy him," Percy finished, a teasing grin on his face.
Your eyes widened, and you quickly shook your head. "No, I don’t! I just…it’s weird, that’s all."
Percy chuckled. "Sure, whatever you say."
But as the days passed, you couldn’t shake the feeling. Fred’s growth spurt wasn’t the only thing that had changed. Something between you had shifted too. He was still the same mischievous, fun-loving prankster, but now, there was something else—a tension that hadn’t been there before.
You found yourself seeking him out more than usual, joining in on his and George’s pranks, laughing at his jokes just a little too hard. And Fred? Well, he didn’t seem to mind the extra attention. If anything, he seemed to enjoy it.
One evening, as you sat by the fireplace in the common room, Fred flopped down next to you, his long legs stretching out in front of him. He nudged your shoulder playfully. "You’ve been quiet today. Everything alright?"
You glanced at him, your heart doing that stupid lurching thing again. "Yeah, just…tired, I guess."
Fred raised an eyebrow. "You? Tired? Never thought I’d see the day."
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help but smile. "Even I get tired sometimes."
He leaned back, resting his arm on the back of the couch behind you. "You know, if you ever need a break from Percy’s study marathons, George and I could use some help with a new prank we’re working on."
You tilted your head, curious. "What kind of prank?"
Fred’s grin turned devilish. "Oh, you’ll see. But it involves a lot of stink pellets and a certain Slytherin prefect."
You laughed, shaking your head. "You two are going to get expelled one of these days."
"Maybe," Fred said with a shrug. "But it’d be worth it."
There was a pause, and then Fred turned to you, his expression softening just a bit. "It’s good to have you back, Y/N. Summer wasn’t the same without you."
Your heart skipped a beat, and you looked down at your hands. "Yeah, it’s good to be back."
Fred nudged you again, this time more gently. "Don’t go running off to another Quidditch camp next summer, alright? We missed you."
You looked up at him, your breath catching slightly at the sincerity in his voice. "I missed you too, Fred."
And there it was—that stupid fluttery feeling again.
This was going to be a long, complicated year.
The first few weeks back at school were a blur of classes, quidditch practice, and catching up with friends. You were eager to get back into the rhythm of things, but you couldn’t shake the odd feeling that had settled in your chest since you’d seen Fred again. He was still the same Fred, still cracking jokes and pulling pranks with George, but now you found yourself noticing little things about him that you hadn’t before. The way his smile seemed to linger on you just a little longer than necessary, the way he always found a reason to sit next to you in the common room, the way your heart skipped a beat whenever his arm brushed against yours.
It was driving you crazy.
One evening, after quidditch practice, you found yourself heading back to the common room, only to be intercepted by Fred in the corridor. He grinned, blocking your path with an outstretched arm.
"Y/N, there you are," he said, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "I was beginning to think you were avoiding me."
You crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow. "Avoiding you? Why would I do that?"
Fred shrugged, leaning casually against the wall. "Dunno. Just seems like you’ve been... distracted lately. Didn’t think my growth spurt would have that much of an effect on you."
Your cheeks flamed. "I—what? That’s ridiculous, Fred. I’m not—"
He cut you off with a laugh, stepping closer. "Relax, Y/N. I’m just messing with you."
You huffed, trying to ignore the way your heart was racing in your chest. "You’re always messing with me, Weasley."
Fred’s grin softened into something that looked almost... fond. "Yeah, well, that’s what I do best, isn’t it?"
You couldn’t argue with that. Fred had always been a tease, always finding ways to get under your skin. But now, it felt different. Now, his teasing sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach, and you weren’t sure how to handle it.
"You’re acting weird," you muttered, trying to avoid his gaze.
"Weird?" Fred repeated, feigning offense. "Me? Never."
You rolled your eyes, but before you could say anything else, Fred reached out and gently tugged on a strand of your hair. "Come on, Y/N," he said, his voice lower now, more serious. "You know I’ve always liked you, right?"
Your breath caught in your throat, and you stared up at him, wide-eyed. "Liked me?" you echoed, your voice barely above a whisper.
Fred nodded, his eyes searching yours. "Yeah. I mean, you’ve always been like... one of us. Part of the family. But this summer, I don’t know... I guess I realized I like you more than just... as part of the family."
Your heart was pounding in your ears, and you felt a warmth spread through your chest. "Fred, I—"
He held up a hand, cutting you off. "You don’t have to say anything now. I just wanted you to know. But, if you want to go flying sometime... just the two of us, you know where to find me."
With that, Fred shot you one last grin, his eyes twinkling, before turning on his heel and sauntering down the corridor, leaving you standing there, stunned.
Your head was spinning, and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Fred Weasley—Fred Weasley—had just told you he liked you. And not in the way you’d always thought, like a brother or a friend. No, this was something different, something that made your heart race and your palms sweat.
As you stood there in the empty corridor, you realized that maybe—just maybe—Fred wasn’t the only one whose feelings had changed over the summer.
Fred’s growth spurt had certainly been a surprise, but what surprised you even more was how much your own feelings had grown right alongside him. And now, as you made your way back to the common room, one thought echoed in your mind:
Maybe it was time to take Fred up on that flying offer.
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annawayne · 3 days
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Odd question, though I'm willing to ask. Any words of encouragement for writing a story/fanfic? (Aiming for Aruani as of speaking this.) Were there moments you wrote something, then it got drafted to the side because it didn't feel right with where it was going anymore, losing ton of progress. How does one manage to like.. jump out of that loop and pick themselves back up? Is it best to just say "screw it" and write what you feel is best and not overfocus yourself on a little segment endlessly? I've read some of your work and it's really incredible, inspiring too! So, I just wanted to hear anything to help, if possible? Thank you for taking the time of your day to ask this, I hope I didn't come off bad in any way or jumbled my words up.
Hello anon!
First of all, thank you so much for this ask (and no, the question is not odd at all, everything is fine!), and thank you so much for your time reading my stories and for finding them even inspiring T^T I appreciate and cherish it so much, thank you!
As for your question, I would say there's one good and one bad news. It's the same thing - there's no ultimate way for writing. Good news, is because there's no "right" and no "wrong" ways, the only "right" way is the one that matches with you. The bad news - everyone should find it on our own, since we are all so different, and it's not easy at all.
But! I also think that it gives us a lot of freedom and creativity to experiment and to try new things. One of the best pieces of advice I definitely can tell everyone is - to forget all the books you want to write, not to write a "perfect " book, and all you need to do is just write that one book you're writing now. I think that one of the major problems for all of us is that we KNOW for a fact what's the good literature is, so when we write our own stories we always compare ourselves with the certain pieces of writing, forgetting in the process that we write OUR own story. Not the one that's already written and had such a huge impact on you. That's why, I think, all of us need to just distinguish where the book had an effect on us as inspiration to write OUR own book, and where we desperately want to write the same book - maybe, with another plot, twists and topics, but with trying to reach this level of impact. And this is where this trap hides, when we see something not as an inspiration to give our own story a life, but as something we want to make too, but the truth is, it's unreachable. Not because you're not capable, but simply because this story was written by another person who lives in another circumstances, and that's why your story will never be the same - because you're different person with different life with different experience and with different heart. And this is beautiful!
A lot of people would advise you to read to write better - and it also makes sense and, of course, I'm also in the same boat, however, we have to remind ourselves here that these books - are not ours. What we have - is much more valuable for us because it's our story we want to tell, and no one, expect us, can't do it better.
I think that it's another problem that may be the reason, sometimes, why we are stuck at some particular place without knowing how to move the plot and the story forward - without even realising, comparing our story with something that is already written and looks so mind-blowing.
We see these other stories already as perfect, forgetting one simple truth that every single word written by another writer - it's also a hard work they went through, and, most likely, they also struggled with the same issue as we do, looking at the books they admire and thinking, "Damn, I'll never write something as good as it is". But all we see is a wonderful text, that seems to us just incredible and perfect.
So, I just want to tell you, anon, that your story is already incredible because it's yours and nobody will write it better than you. We're all so different, and our stories - too - and this is the beauty in it, something that is impossible to replace and to imitate.
I guess, that once we can accept that our story won't be the same you admire and not because you're worse - no! Absolutely no! - but only because all the stories are written by humans, and every human - a whole universe, we'll all feel much better. And I think, that, foremost, it's the most important advice to start with, since it leads to everything else.
I hope it was some kind of help!
(And apologies if it didn't... If you wanted some practical advice - please let me know, I'll try my best too if I'm competent enough for it; I just focused primarily on encouragement, so I hope it was some kind of help T//T)
Thank you one more time for asking and for your words about me stories, and remember that your story - is impossible to compare because every story is a living being, and all of us are different, and this is our power and beauty (⁠。⁠・⁠ω⁠・⁠。⁠)⁠ノ⁠♡
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aroaessidhe · 1 month
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2024 reads / storygraph
Outdrawn
f/f contemporary romance
two cartoonist who’ve been rivals since uni, and now have competing webcomics online, have to work together on the relaunch of a cult classic at the comic press they both work at
they both struggle with art-related physical and mental health issues, and complicated families
#outdrawn#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#sapphic books#I thought this was decent! I liked the concept (even if I got distracted by some art related things…)#and the dynamic between the characters was good. I enjoyed their relationship development broadly speaking#and the emphasis on communication; though it was a quick flip into being together all of a sudden.#The sketchbook doodle flirting was cute. Some interesting exploration of their complicated family situations too.#There’s a lot of exploration of burnout and carpal tunnel and the dangers of artists overworking which I think are important conversations#and are done with some nuance. But it’s pretty much all discussed in the context of the personal pressure they put on themselves#rather than the industry corporate greed and artificial competition created by the comic platform - which are significant in this story!#It felt odd that that connection wasn’t really ever made?#I know that this is a romance and nitpicking the background plot is beside the point and also that I am not a big romance reader#but the premise that the comic hosting site archives everything; wipes the leaderboard; and out of nowhere has a comic competition for#new weekly chapters…I’m sorry but the art world would riot. Even if people enter because they’re desperate for the cash they’d be pissed#People live off the income from their webcomics! if they were erased (temporarily) with no notice…..there would be crimes committed istg#I simply don’t believe that it would be doable to create a new weekly webcomic with no notice while you also have a full-time comic job#(especially as the only stylistic choices mentioned are full-colour) - not to mention what happened to their 8-years-running webcomics#that were archived? they don’t think about them at all after the beginning? surely they’d care about that?#And then with their new comics they make for this competition (after work I guess) we get vague snippets about them but barely anything#- if they’re consuming that much of your time I would expect to feel like they’re thinking about them all the time#rather than the vaguest discussion about genre and cast numbers only.#I guess I just think the whole comic site stunt felt unnecessary for the plot anyway -#it would have worked exactly the same if they were just competing on the normal leaderboard with their normal comics???#anyway - I’m not judging TOO hard about all that because again I know it’s not the point and maybe the industry is like that in some place#Unfortunately it was distracting enough to affect my feelings on the book tho lol.#Lastly: the audiobook………oof. The narrators talk at different speeds; for one.#And Sage’s VA does this deeply weird raspy-anime-teen-boy voice for Noah which is such an odd choice#and doesn’t match her character at all.#unforch my library only had the audiobook (what I usually prefer) so I just had to sort of….translate the narration into a normal voice lol#anyway the romance is good tho
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labyrynth · 11 months
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i know this sounds crazy but. get this.
sometimes…with visual media…you do have to actually LOOK at it. sometimes…they put Important things in the visuals (because it is visual media) that you will Miss if you’re only glancing up once a minute.
sometimes you just have to suck it up and actually WATCH the thing instead of listening to a visual medium.
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themoonking · 2 years
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saw someone once be like “i never understood why people shipped gimli and legolas until i saw the movies” as in like only someone who only watched the movies would ship them and... girl what?? have you read the book???
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flygonscales · 3 months
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Just had a very vivid and yet vague memory of a scene at the ending of a book, going as such: the dark lord/an evil god has been defeated, and in his dying throes, as his last act, he cries out to his mother, the earth herself, to no response. The heroes of the story are not immediately happy that the evil god is dead, and there is a solemn kind of atmosphere afterwards.
I don’t think it’s from any of the books I currently own, and the most likely candidate I’ve thought of is the death of Kal Torak at the end of the Belgariad. That he is known as the mad god, with a half burned face (hel-style), makes me think that is one of the reasons there is not immediately rejoicing, since the human (or at least -ish) protagonists have just killed a god, and no matter how evil or driven mad that god is, that is a terrible thing. I couldn’t quickly find a pdf to confirm this but I can’t really think of anything else.
(there’s no conclusion to this. it’s just a ramble about a sudden thought/image i had)
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klara-rosa · 5 months
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On wednesday I had my first therapy session in 3 weeks and it was such an emotional one that I really struggled to hold back tears (and I know it's normal to cry in therapy but in all my years of going I have only cried twice in therapy and one of those times was my LAST session with my previous therapist when I felt like the world's gonna end because AGAIN I lost someone important to me)
Anyway so I tried to be as honest and open as possible and it was so nice to just have someone acknowledge that you feel like shit, like my therapist said she thought about everything going on recently and she saw that I'm really struggling and that my level of mental/emotional pain is high
We talked about all kinds of things and she also said that she would like me to see a psychologist to have a diagnostic evaluation to see what's really going on diagnose wise because she thinks I might have PTSD and when I told her that I already did such an evaluation once fore BPD she became all ears and told me she thinks I might have BPD and she gave me a book to read up on it
So all of a sudden I might have 2 more mental illnesses 👍 but I'm actually pretty chill about it...like, okay. Just please help me get answers. Tell me what to do to become better. PLEASEEEE
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jobean12-blog · 4 months
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Fancy Restaurant
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader
Word Count: 2,457
Summary: Nat works her magic and 'accidentally' double books you and Bucky for babysitting. The kids don't want either of you to leave so you end up babysitting together and thanks to some imaginative play the night progresses perfectly.
Author's Note: I definitely took inspiration for this from the Bluey episodes "Fancy Restaurant and Double Babysitter." It just seemed like such a fun idea! Steve and Nat's kids are about the same ages as Bingo and Bluey, 4-5ish and 6-7ish. Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the sweet @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy! 🥰
Warnings: super sweet fluff and fun, Bucky's a little shy at first but by the end he knows exactly what he's doing.
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“Almost ready?” Steve asks from the doorway of the bedroom.
Nat turns and smiles. “Just five minutes.”
The doorbell rings.
“We’ll get it!” their two daughters, Lily and Rose, yell simultaneously.
The sound of slapping feet and giggles disappears down the stairs before you hear them scream, “UNCLE BUCKY!”
“My two favorite girls!” Bucky coos as he kneels down to embrace them. “Ready for lots of junk food, scary movies and staying up late!?”
Lily and Rose nod their heads vigorously and don matching grins.
“There will be none of that,” Steve tsks as he walks into the foyer, hands on hips.
“AW DADDY!” Lily whines.
“You’re no fun!” Rose adds.
Steve just scoffs as Nat walks in with a confirming smile.
“I just love it when you all gang up on me,” Steve grumbles.
Nat pats him on the back sympathetically and Bucky chuckles.
“Alright you two. Off you go,” Bucky says. “We’ll be just fine. Have fun!”
Just as Steve is helping Nat into her coat the doorbell rings again. Everyone, but Nat, turns with confused expressions before Steve and Bucky exchange questioning glances.
“Nat?” Steve asks.
She shrugs nonchalantly and opens the door.
“Hey babe,” Nat says as she greets you and holds her arms open.
You smile brightly and rush in to hug her.
It takes you a moment to realize you have an audience and when your eyes lock on Steve’s puzzled face your brows furrow.
The girls momentarily distract you when they start squealing in happiness and tug at your pants in greeting. You kneel down to squeeze them both before asking Nat, “what’s going on? What did I miss?”
“I was about to ask the same thing,” Steve says with a warm smile as he hugs you.
Bucky just stands to the side, his eyes glued to you and his mouth hanging open.
“Nothing!” Nat exclaims excitedly. “Steve and I are leaving.”
“Ok! You two have fu…” you trail off when your eyes land on Bucky.
“Did you double book?” you whisper to Nat.
“Double book?” she repeats, feigning misunderstanding.
Bucky clears his throat and wipes his palm on his jeans before extending his hand.
“Hi, I’m Bucky,” he says.
You introduce yourself, noticing the way his cheeks turn pink when your skin touches his.
Steve drops his head with a shake then looks to his wife who’s standing there looking smug.
“I didn’t realize you already had a sitter,” you say. “I can go?”
“NO!” Steve, Nat, Bucky and the girls screech.
“You should definitely stay,” Nat says.
“Of course, the girls would be so disappointed if you left,” Steve adds.
“WE WOULD!” Rose says in her sweet voice. “Please stay!”
“YES you have to stay!” Lily pleads. “Now we can play fancy restaurant!”
The two girls squeak with excitement before rushing off with a yell. “We’re going to set it up!” 
Steve and Nat finally get out the door and leave you and Bucky standing there.
“So,” Bucky starts and rubs the back of his neck.
You smile and move toward the kitchen.
“Have you eaten dinner yet?” you ask him.
“No,” he sighs while he pats his stomach. “But I’m starving!”
Your gaze falls to his large hand spread across his abs, the soft fabric of his Henley pressing against his muscles and accentuating them.
When your eyes move upward you catch him wearing a smirk and quickly turn your focus to the cabinets for food.
“I’m sure I can find something quick and easy to make,” you assure him.
As you move around the kitchen and pull things from the fridge and cabinets Bucky follows you, offering help where he can and asking you about how you met Nat.
“Are you sure we haven’t met before?” you ask him.
His eyes wander over your features, lingering on your lips for a moment too long before he blinks and says, “no way. I would definitely have remembered.”
You capture your bottom lip between your teeth and continue mixing the mac and cheese and when you steal a look his way you can see the pink color on his cheeks just above the dark scruff of hair.
A loud crash from the girls playroom alerts you both and Bucky quickly stands.
“I’ll go check on them.”
You finish up the mac and cheese and serve it into two bowls then set them on the table.
He returns just in time.
“They were just trying to set up the table for their restaurant,” he explains.
“I love how imaginative they are,” you muse. “They always come up with fun ideas!”
Bucky agrees before pulling out your chair.
“Thanks for cooking,” he says. “I’ll do the dishes.”
“No problem and great!”
You sit and dig in, enjoying the easy conversation the flows between the two of you.
The girls rush back in the kitchen just after Bucky places the last dish on the drying rack.
“READY!?” Rose asks, her tiny hands clasped together and a chef hat sitting crooked on her head.
The apron she’s wearing is tied haphazardly at her waist and there are several toy utensils sticking out of the pockets.
You and Bucky exchange a smile.
“We’re ready!” you tell the girls.
Lily whispers something in Rose’s ear before Rose rushes off with a giggle.
“That was our chef,” Lily explains. “The restaurant is just this way.”
She holds out her hand and waits for you and Bucky to follow.
“You have to hold hands,” Lily says as she walks you two toward the play room.
Bucky’s eyes go wide and he turns to you.
“Mommy and daddy always hold hands on dates!” Lily exclaims.
You give Bucky a reassuring smile. “I don’t mind if you don’t.”
“I definitely don’t!” he says and holds out his hand.
You take it and walk the rest of the way hand in hand.
Lily runs ahead and stands behind a makeshift pile of books, turning over some papers. You and Bucky stop in front of her and she states, “welcome to our fancy restaurant. Do you have a reservation?”
“Ummm,” Bucky starts. “Yeah, two for Barnes,” and he looks at his watch. “Six pm.”
Lily runs her finger down the paper. “I don’t see a Barnes here,” she says.
Bucky looks nervously to you then back at Lily.
“Are you sure?” he asks.
Lily sighs. “Did you call to make a reservation?”
“Oh,” Bucky says. “No, I didn’t! Is that bad?”
“YES!” both Lily and Rose yell. “But don’t worry,” Lily continues in a whispered voice, “you can just call now.”
Bucky stands there, clearly unsure of how to handle this and you think quick, reaching with your free hand into the back pocket of his jeans to pull his phone free.
You poke him in the chest with it. “Quick call!” you whisper shout. “I’m hungry!”
The girls giggle and watch Bucky.
“Uh…RIGHT!” he says and pretends to dial his phone.
“Hello, fancy restaurant. How can I help you this evening,” Lily says as she picks up her Minnie Mouse phone.
“Hi,” Bucky answers. “I’d like to make a reservation please.”
“Certainly,” Lily responds. “How many?”
“Two for James Barnes.”
“James?” Rose chimes from behind the play kitchen. “Who’s James?”
Bucky laughs. “That’s my first name but your dad has been calling me Bucky since we’re kids so it kind of stuck.”
Rose shrugs and Lily pretends to scribble something on the paper. “Great,” she says.
She hangs up the phone and repeats her welcome from earlier.
“Barnes for two,” Bucky states.
“Ah yes!” Lily sings. “Right this way.
In all the commotion you and Bucky stopped holding hands and when Lily realizes she stops short and puts her hands on her hips, a mirror image of her father, and gives you both a stern look.
“HANDS!” she shouts.
Bucky reaches over and takes your hand, gently stroking his thumb across your knuckles.
“If I knew I had a date tonight I would have dressed the part,” you lean over and whisper to him.
His lips lift into a boyish smirk. “You look perfect doll.”
Lily pulls his attention away and he misses the way his words make you react.
The table that’s set up is kid size and after Bucky pulls out your chair he sits in his and it makes you nearly fall over with laughter.
“What?” he asks with a grin.
“Oh my god,” you giggle.
Lily and Rose join you tableside.
“Would you like to hear the specials?” Rose asks.
“Sure,” Bucky answers.
“You’re still supposed to be holding hands,” Lily says. “On the table.”
“Oh!” you say and reach your hand across for Bucky’s. “Like this?”
“Perfect!” Lily says with a satisfied smile. “Now Chef Rose. The specials please.”
Rose rattles off a list of random food pairings that have you and Bucky trying not to burst out laughing. You somehow hold it together and place your orders, watching as the girls run off toward their play kitchen.
“This is already the best date I’ve been on,” Bucky says.
“Me too!” you agree. “The service is amazing!”
You say the last part loud enough to make sure the girls can hear it and their excited squeals warm your heart.
“I mean it,” Bucky says. “I’m having a great time.”
After he admits that out loud you can tell he’s slightly embarrassed so you’re quick to assure him you are too.
Lily brings over play plates and utensils and periodically checks in as you wait for your ‘food’ to be prepared.
The ease of your conversation with Bucky makes you feel comfortable and safe and the more you talk to him the more you like him.
Rose joins Lily for the presentation of the food and both you and Bucky are impressed with the spread.
“Wow this looks delicious!” he says eagerly.
The girls look pleased and excuse themselves in a flurry of fancy bows and unintelligible mutterings.
You and Bucky pretend to eat the food, laughing and sharing stories. Lily sneaks over and whispers, “don’t forget to feed each other!”
She tip toes away and you can feel her staring.
“She’s watching and waiting isn’t she?” you ask Bucky.
He subtly nods and pretends to scoop his spaghetti. He holds up the small fork and you laugh again, the pink plastic tiny in his hand.
You lean forward and he meets you half way, pretending to feed you a bite. A cheer erupts from behind you and the girls yell, “again!”
After sharing more bites and a special ‘fancy’ dessert Lily and Rose present Bucky with the bill.
“Hope you enjoyed your meal doll,” he says to you. “I know I did!”
“It was delicious!” you exclaim. “We definitely have to come back!”
Lily escorts you toward the door of the play room, instructing you once again to hold hands and bids you farewell.
While you and Bucky are strolling down the hall you hear the girls whispering to each other and Bucky squeezes your hand.
“I don’t think the date’s over,” he mutters.
You cover your mouth to stifle your laughter.
Rose skips over and stops in front of you and Bucky so you have to stop walking.
“Time for a smoochy kiss!” she says happily.
“YES! YES! Smoochy kiss time!” Lily sings.
Bucky looks down at the two girls and kneels so he’s eye level.
“Aw girls,” he says, “I’m not sure we can do that.”
“But” Rose says, her eyes big and shining. “Daddy and Mommy always smoochy kiss!”
You tug on Bucky’s shoulder and he stands again. You smile at the girls and lean up to press your lips to his cheek.
“There,” you say. “How’s that?”
Two sets of pouty lips turn to you and their tiny voices say in unison, “that’s a cheeky kiss! Not a smoochy kiss!”
Bucky wraps his fingers around your biceps and studies your face.
“Maybe if I give you one?” he says, his tone questioning.
You nod and wait for the press of his lips to your skin, closing your eyes briefly and opening them to find him staring at your lips.
The girls stomp and whimper, clearly not satisfied.
“Might as well give them what they want,” you whisper, pressing yourself closer to him.
His right hand slides up your arm and grazes the curve of your neck before he cradles your cheek and brushes his thumb at the corner of your mouth.
He dips his head as his metal hand slides around your waist and splays across your lower back. His dark eyelashes lower and he moves closer. Your fingers grasp at his Henley and you give him a little tug.
“Bucky, you can kiss me now.”
He nods lightly and his nose bumps yours, his lips hovering so close you can feel his warm breath.
“I hope I can keep this PG,” he whispers before pressing his lips to yours.
Your hands glide up to his shoulders and then to the back of his neck, fingernails gently scraping along his hair when he pulls you so close there isn’t a breath of space left between you.
The sounds of the girls screeching and screaming finally pulls you out of the kiss and you bury your face in his neck.
“THAT…” Rose starts with sparkling eyes, “was the best smoochy kiss EVER!!!”
“Can you do it again?” Lily asks, dancing in place.
You giggle and peck Bucky on the lips.
“Girls it’s just about time for bath and bed,” you tell them.
“Aww but we want to keep playing fancy restaurant,” Rose whines.
“I know. But we can play in the bath and then I’ll read you a bedtime story! Any one you want!”
The two girls beam up at you and then look at Bucky.
“You’ll play too Uncle Bucky, right?” Rose asks.
“Of course!” he says. “But first you two have to clean up.”
They groan but agree with shuffling feet and head back to the play room.
You watch them go until you feel Bucky’s eyes on you. When you turn to face him he grabs your hand and pulls you around the hallway and presses you against the wall.
“One more smoochy kiss?” he asks.
“Yes,” you murmur and meet his lips in a soft kiss.
“They’re smoochy kissing again!” Rose squeals!
“They do it way better than mommy and daddy!” Lily giggles. “I can’t wait to tell them!”
“We’re never gonna hear the end of this doll,” Bucky winks.
“I think this is exactly what they wanted,” you whisper.
“You’re exactly what I want,” he says before kissing you again. “And I plan on getting as many kisses as possible after those two go to bed.”
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@randomfandompenguin @hiddles-rose @goldylions @kmc1989 @blackwidownat2814 @littleseasiren @buckysdollforlife @lizette50
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peachpitfics · 4 months
Text
Don't Blame Me
Fandom: Bridgerton
Summary: Daphne Bridgerton is your closest childhood friend, her eldest brother, Anthony, is the love of your life. After avoiding each other for years, you both finally lose control.
Length: 3.2k
Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader
Content Warnings: Unprotected sex, sex in public, penetrative vaginal sex, orgasm, 'caught in the act' vibes, best friends brother.
Bridgerton master list (tag list)
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Like many other close family friends of the Bridgerton’s, their home was always a beacon of safety and comfort, especially for you. You were Daphne Bridgerton’s first friend, and you had remained close well into adulthood, she wrote to you still from her new life with the Duke. Unfortunately, Daphne would not be able to meet you in Mayfair this season, the Bridgerton’s playing host while your mother and father were out of the country. It was your third year out; you had a few hopeful matches in mind, not realizing how difficult the season might be with unobtainable love staring you in the face.
“We are so glad to have you this year, y/n. It has been so long since we have seen you around the Ton” Violet Bridgerton was as much your mother as your own.
“Father’s responsibilities have been consuming these past few years. Mother and I hardly made it to the season last year. I am glad to be here, spending some time in familiar places” You smiled, linking arms with her as she escorted you to the ballroom. Your parents had entrusted your match to you, however, had requested the viscountess to keep a watchful eye.
Waltzing into the drawing room, just like old times, Benedict and Colin, discarding their playing cards, exclaimed with joy, rushing to greet you as if a long-lost sibling had returned. There was nothing as lonely as being an only child, deep in the countryside. Eloise was fretting in the corner, fingers agitated, tapping the outside of a book. This was to be her coming out year.
Anthony entered from the far side door, his feet skidding to a halt at the sight of you.
“You arrived” Anthony said flatly, turning on the ball of his foot, and exiting as quickly as he had come in. Embarrassed, you frowned, smiling chastely praying no one would notice his strange behaviour. It had been a year since you had last seen each other.
“I apologise, he is so bizarre in the mornings lately” Violet squeezed your shoulders, leading you over to a table laden with treats. Sitting on the settee with Hyacinth and Eloise, eating small cakes and discussing the books being read amongst you were some of the precious things you missed about living in the city.
In an unsuspicious amount of time, you excused yourself from company to find the washroom. Anthony stood outside the drawing room, leaning against the wall, unblinking and mind drifting elsewhere. You ignored each other walking past, which felt a lot like tiny shards of glass embedding into your heart. Locking yourself in the washroom, trying desperately to keep tears at bay, you looked into the mirror and told yourself it did not matter. You were going to find love this year, somewhere else. 
When you opened the door, Anthony had moved, he was nearly pressed against the door, waiting for you to come out. He stuffed himself into the washroom with you, closing the door as silently as he could.
“Why are you here?” He asked. He looked different from a year ago, he had changed quite a lot more than you were expecting. He had shortened his hair and filled out into his body. His hands looked the same, the same ring on that damned finger, flexing in distress and awkward guilt.
“It is the beginning of the social season. I am here to find a husband.” You stated plainly.
“A husband?” He scoffed, charming disdain painted across his face.
“Yes, it is what young ladies do in polite society. Was that unclear?” You asked. Your lack of facial expression and tone seemed to startle him, he had no idea what you were thinking.
“Why are you acting this way?” Anthony stuttered forward, getting uncomfortably close.
With the melancholic drop of your shoulders, and a heavy exhale, you pushed past Anthony and made your way back to the drawing room. It was so like him to put the narrative back on you. Anthony should have asked himself why he was acting this way – after all, it was he who decided not to court you. It was he who decided to kiss you beside the carriage that night. It was he who decided the two of you should not speak any longer. It was he who broke your heart.
The remainder of the evening was free of Anthony, filled with laughter at the dining room table over a delectable dinner. The Bridgerton’s sense of family was everything to you – even if Gregory and Hyacinth were bickering for most of the meal, it still felt as it was meant to. Violet showed you to the guest room, it had not changed much over the years, it smelled the very same.
“I am sorry Anthony could not join us for dinner” Violet’s voice echoed with somber searching. Perhaps she had heard the two of you in the washroom?
“Do not be,” You said quickly, “His time is his own, he does not owe me anything” Violet bowed her head, words fighting against her lips. She instead pursed them into a smile and closed the door behind her. Those shards of glass moved again, every second in this house, nausea held you hostage, terrified of running into him in the halls.
Daphne was the only other person alive who knew what had happened between Anthony and yourself. She had been disappointed in him, angry with the way he had handled everything. While she promised there would never be a change to your friendship, it had never really been the same. You tossed and turned far longer than normal; your mind flooded with images of the past. Thrusting yourself out of bed, it was clear you were not going to be sleeping tonight, you decided that a distraction may be best. In your nightgown, candle in hand, you remembered your way to the study.
The study was clear of any inhabitants, it was tidy, and the few cases of books loomed high over you, reaching the ceiling. Nothing in the Bridgerton house seemed to change, except Anthony, and it was perpetually for the worse in your opinion. You selected a book randomly from the nearest shelf and perched yourself on the seat closest to the window, looking out over the square. Lounging sleepily, you read in the low candlelight, only disturbed by the creaking of the door, an unexpected sound, making you jolt.
“I knew you’d be in here” Anthony said softly, entering the room with caution as your emotionless face watched him. “You were always in here when we were children. No one could ever find you” His smile was humorless.
“You did” You waited before responding, wondering why he was here, speaking with you, “Why are you here, right now, Anthony?” You demanded.
Anthony moved to the seat across from yours, sitting gingerly, holding eye contact in the hopes you would not tell him to leave. You allowed him to sit, his hands folded in front of him.
“I don’t know” Anthony rubbed desperately at his forehead, “I just got up, and felt myself pulled here, some unknown force, dragging me to you” Anthony admitted. You had always been attracted to each other, always gravitating towards one another.
“I did not choose to come here; my mother asked a favor of yours. I would never have chosen to be this close to you. You destroyed me, Anthony” Tears welled to your eyes, “We cannot be near each other – you made that it very clear, you took what you wanted of me, and cast me aside” Hands pressed down on your knees, you pushed off, making for the closest exit. Anthony dashed around in front of you, placing his body between you and the door for the second time today.
“Goodnight, Viscount Bridgerton” You curtsied formally, hoping the rules of social engagement were enough for this man to understand the dangerous position he was putting both of you in, yet again.
Anthony’s hand trembled, reaching out, taking yours into his. His fingers tangled between yours, his grip strengthening when he realized you were not pulling away. His thumb affectionately circling the skin on wrist, the sound of his swallowing resounding across the empty room, his anxious tongue flicking over his lips. If anything was clear, it was the internal battle that seemed to be always happening inside Anthony’s mind.
His touch, the supreme legacy of your existence. His unsteady breath, captivating your common sense. The thrilling space between you slowly closing, heads bobbing forward as if intoxicated and unable to control oneself, meeting together in the middle in an exhilarating kiss, just like you had remembered it.
His lips were shamelessly enthusiastic, as if made for this very purpose, just for you. His forceful hands weaved into your loose hair, pulling you deeper into every kiss. You were overcome, that old bold, need for him to find its way out of the labyrinth you had designed for it. Anthony’s fingers pressed to your hips, his teeth nipped eagerly at the skin on your neck, softs sighs of delight followed.
It was when his hand moved sensually to your breast that you broke free of the enchanting dance you had found yourself in so many times before with him. Your body did not reflect the same pleasures, you took his hands from your body and laid them at his sides, and stood tall and stepped back.
“I am here to secure a husband, for my future” Tears found their way back to you.
“Y/n…” Anthony shook his head, stepping forward, trying to hold onto you again.
“If you cannot give me what I seek, please, stop hunting me down. I want a life with you, Anthony. I will love you until my dying breath… But you, you will never grow up” You said finitely, again, pushing your way past him and fleeing back to your room.
~
Most of the next day was spent in tired indifference, you remained in your room, preparing for the first ball of the season. Tears had stained your pillow the remainder of the night, each knock at the door struck a chord of hope in your heart, wishing for Anthony.
Eloise and Violet helped you into your gown, the ladies’ maids fixing your hair and face. Violet ran a motherly thumb under your puffy eye, her compassionate heart shining through her eyes and tender smile. You gave a little nod, knowing there was never anything you could hide from her – she knew everyone in the Bridgerton house better than she let on.
The Viscounts escorted Eloise into Lady Danbury’s estate, greeting the Queen and Lady Danbury ahead of you. Violet linked arms with you in solidarity, following Anthonys actions and proceeding into the ball.
“Who will you be accepting dances from this evening?” The Viscountess asked quietly.
“I am not restricting myself to names, I will dance with any eligible man who asks” You answered politely.
Violet gave your forearm a squeeze, “That is very sensible” She nodded, releasing you, sending you off into the lion’s den. You met up with Eloise, taking a short turn about the room to appear social, greeting the other young ladies who you’d met years previous. There were several older men who seemed to take an interest in you as you moved about the room with your friend. No one really stood out to you, no true love at first sight, much to your dismay.
Retiring to the wall with a glass of lemonade in hand, you watched the gorgeous young women excited to dance with suitors and recalled how that was never an experience you had.
Soon enough, one of the suitors who had shown interest in a season previous approached, positioning himself next to you. Lord Harlan Grahame was intelligent, considerate, and not entirely horrible to look at.
“Lord Grahame” You curtsied, a familiar smile finding its way back onto your face.
“Miss y/n, I do hope your mother and father are quite well” He remarked, having known them for many years now, he had noticed their absence.
“They are in abroad, my father has business to conduct in Greece and my mother only saw fit to tend to him during this time” You explained, “I am being hosted by the Bridgerton family. How is your family?” You asked in politeness.
“Fantastic, Mother has moved herself to the country and hopes to get yet another dog soon” He laughed, clearly happy to be free of her in his home. Laughing along with him, you spied Anthony, discreetly looking on from across the ballroom. The conversation between yourself and Lord Grahame was easy and hardly uncomfortable. He was charismatic enough that you could see yourself becoming quite fond of each other in no time at all. He made small jokes at no one’s expense, he offered refreshments frequently and complimented you in kindness. You could see and accept a perfectly happy future with the Lord.
Across the ballroom, sheer asperity brewed live in Anthonys eyes for all to see. He was known to have a temper amongst society. With a final twitch of his left eye, Anthony’s feet picked up under him, carrying him in your direction. Violet watched on, fear and embarrassment ready and willing in her chest.
“I apologise” You mumbled preemptively to Lord Grahame as Anthony arrived to interrupt your conversation.
“Miss y/n, may I have this dance?” Anthonys eyes were terrifying, filled with rage and jealousy. You paused, contemplating antagonizing him, forcing his hand, backing him into a corner. But relinquished, excusing yourself from Lord Grahames company, taking Anthony’s hand as he swept you off to the dancefloor.
You did not meet his eye, your nails dug into the skin on his hand in resentment. You said nothing to each other for the first several minutes of the dance.
“You cannot marry him” Anthony muttered in quiet, helpless indignation.
Giving him a great look of disbelief, “Who are you to tell me who I can marry? I do not answer to you, Viscount” You growled into his ear as he pulled you in tighter.
Anthony finished the dance, bowing to you, holding onto one of your hands with unbelievable force. He walked swiftly from the dance floor, conspicuously pulling you along behind him, and into a room down the hall.
“You cannot blame me for acting this way!” He yelled, “If I have to see you speak to another man this season, if I have to witness another man watch as you walk by – You have driven me to the brink of insanity” He heaved, frantic energy filling his body.
“What would you have me do? Spend my life in loneliness, a Spinster? Would that be convenient to you, Anthony?” You parried.
His hands ran through his hair stressfully, at a loss for words, unable to express himself in the way he wanted. His intention had not been to yell when he sequestered you away to this side room.
“I was fine! You left Mayfair, and I was well. Now, here you are – and God help me, I am intoxicated every second we are in the same room. Your presence is the most decadent drug, forcibly hypnotizing me. I am powerless to you” Anthonys words were like honey, carried on the end of a bee sting.
“You made your choice!” You yelled back at him, hoping the music was loud enough outside.
“I was young, y/n! I made the wrong choice!” He retorted, his words shaking, and unfiltered for the first time in a long time.
There was a second of unblinking silence between you before magnetic energy pulled you into each other, deranged nipping at each other’s lips ensued. Hands grabbed and grasped at skin and hair, trying to force your beings into one person. There was a white-hot craze that seemed to come over the both of you, and you had felt it before, a few times.
Anthony sucked your bottom lip into his mouth, biting and kissing in a spontaneous fire.
“Someone will hear” You moaned into his ear, as his teeth moved their way down your neck. Anthony did not seem to care, his mouth on your chest, fondling and sucking on your breasts, still sitting pertly in your dress. He was simply uncontrollable, his behaviour now inherently superior compared to when he had been speaking.
Anthony maneuvered your body across the room, hands comfortably held in places of control, his left on your lower back, his right splayed across your throat like the prettiest necklace. You reached the door, his hands twisting your hips to face it. Your palms met the wood, bracing as Anthony bent you slightly, kicking your feet apart with his. Anthony hiked up your gown, undoing his pants in the same instant and buried himself inside of you.
You mouth gaped silently, aghast at the entire situation, but thanking God above for the opportunity.
“Oh my god,” Anthony gnarled into your ear from behind, “Just like I remember it” He moaned, sinking deeper and deeper it felt like. Every thrust led with intense and vicious primality, his hands wrapped around each of your upper arms, for leverage. He was right, it was just how you remembered – overwhelming, devastating, unforgettable. You had thought about your secret affair with Anthony every day since you had moved away. The pleasure Anthony elicited from you sent you into a familiar haze, deep and indefensible. Every movement, every sound from him made you feel greedy, always wanting just a little more.
The way he pounded into your smaller frame rattled the wooden door you were leaning on. “Anthony! They are going to hear!” You squealed in a whisper back to him.
“Let them” He panted, “If anyone asks, I’ll tell them I’m fucking my future wife” Anthony’s hand found its way into your hair, pulling your back sharply for a profound, wet kiss. Anthonys fingers sunk into the flesh of your hip, painfully pleasant as his nails clambered for an anchor. Your body arched back involuntarily, Anthony powering through fast, harsh thrusts as he found his inevitable end, placing sloppy kisses on your shoulder as he slowly finished moving inside of you.
You both leaned on the door in exhaustion, bodies heaving in unison. Anthony placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, stepping backwards and rebuttoning his breeches, fixing your dress behind you. You turned to face him slowly, knowing he could very well go back on every word he had said not moments before.
The softest smile enriched his face, his eyes lit in such a way that you had never seen them. His arm dashed out, pulling you into a grinning embrace, smooching dear kisses upon your lips.
“Loving you causes me delirium, y/n” He nipped at your nose, your foreheads planted together, eyes closed in tranquility.
As you stood, the doorknob gently turned and Violet Bridgerton slid her head through the gap, assumingly checking on the both of you; you had been in here for a little while longer than societally acceptable for two young single people.
Her hand flew over her heart, “Oh thank God!” She exclaimed, smiling ear to ear, a sense of pride glistened in her eyes.
“I cannot wait to write Daphne” The viscountess cheered quietly, finding it hard to contain her excitement. “I knew that you would find each other” She chuffed, slipping out, closing the door. Your foreheads knocked together again, never having a minutes peace in such a large family – you stood there a moment longer, relishing such a long awaited and monumental confession of your love.
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tag list: @cringycat24 // @blckbarbiedoll // @freyagallileaevans // @junkie05 // @rosabeetroot // @flamewriterr //
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mingigoo · 5 months
Text
oh shit, are we in love? || Jongho (m.)
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🏀 pairing ⇢ cheerleader! (fem) reader x best friend/basketball player! Jongho
🏀 summary ⇢ you’ve called Jongho your best friend all your life. You were attached at the hip for ages, and even as you take on college together. With no other relationship experience other than with him, when you decide to go after a cute classmate, you look to Jongho for some help. Asking him to practice “things” with you seemed like nothing—that is, until kissing him made you think that you couldn’t kiss anyone else.
🏀 genre/au ⇢ best friends to lovers, college au, smut, fluff
🏀 warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ MINORS DNI, unprotected sex, oral sex (male recieving), cum shot, Jongho is a virgin, also is a slut for y/n, drinking, mentions of knee injury, best friends to lovers, college love, cheerleader x basketball player
🏀 word count ⇢ 15.8k (so sorry I just couldnt stop)
🏀 taglist ⇢ @jjhmk @yukine-smx @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @y00nzin0 @yesv01 @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @gayliljoong @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @baguette-atiny @seokwoosmole @nyeatinyjunkie @juliettechokilo @pockyddalgi @justaqueerbufoin @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @miriamxsworld @daegale @knucklesdeepmingi @naiify @yeoyeoland @arya9111 @mdibby @8tinytings @angelicyeo @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts @mangishii @yeoyeoland @pink-hwaberry @wooyoluvrr @maru-matt @pearltinyy @loveuwoo @m3chigo @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 @interweab @skz1-4-3 (if I missed you please lmk!! bold = can’t tag)
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When you were kids, Jongho gave you a ring—a ring made out of straw paper he kept after a trip to get milkshakes after school.
With the paper straw ring, he stuck it on your ring finger. The wrong one, but that didn't matter to him, anyway. He declared to you that he would marry you someday. Someday, whatever that meant to a young kid. With the ring already on your finger, you couldn't exactly decline his proposal, so you just shrugged and told him, “Why not?”
At seventeen, you went to prom together. Not because you liked each other, no. Because it was convenient, it made sense. How could you go with someone else? You wore a beautiful red gown, Jongho matching you with a patterned red tie. You had a great time, went home together, and nearly kissed at your doorstep—you didn't think too much of it. You blamed it on the atmosphere. So did he.
You sat at your desk in your cramped dorm room, your bed pushed up on the left side of the room and a mess of pillows and blankets covering it. 
Suddenly, as you were finally getting to the good part in your book, Jongho barged into your room, dropping his basketball bag onto the floor with a groan. He tossed his slides off, not even meeting your gaze before walking like a zombie towards your messy bed, throwing himself on top.
“Well hello to you too,” you blinked, losing your page in your book. “Get out of my damn bed, you're sweaty as fuck.”
He huffed, crossing his muscular arms across his chest, staring up at the glow stars you put on the ceiling. “Leave me be. My roommate is fucking some chick right now. I just need to lay down.”
“San seems like he gets around a lot,” you scoffed, picking up your book again. You were currently reading a very, very smutty book—although you were supposed to be studying your literature anthology text for the exam you had in the morning. You flipped a page. 
“Oh, he does,” Jongho sniffed. You looked over at him, his cut-off t-shirt revealing a good bit of skin on his side, his sweat gleaming on his body. “I mean, practice just ended. He had to have the damn girl in there even before he got back. It’s ridiculous.”
He sat up now, putting his back against his headboard. He winced a bit as he moved, his hand going to the brace around his knee.
You paused, completely forgetting the smut you were reading. “What is it? Is it hurting again?”
“Just a little, it’s no biggie.” Jongho offered you a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. “Don't give me that look, y/n. I hurt it a while ago. It's normal for it to ache occasionally.”
Back in your senior year, he tore his ACL before the season, causing him to never have his final year of basketball. He was a mess, but at least he had you. He got surgery, had physical therapy, but yet, he still has pain to this day.
You met his eyes for a moment, sighing when that gorgeous smile of his poked through his lips. “Fine, fine. Just get outa here when you can. I got some…important things to do alone tonight.”
He furrowed his brows, confused. “What could you possibly…..oh,” he shut his eyes painfully. “Please, I don't want to imagine it.” He scooted back down on the bed and tossed your blanket on top of him. “My eyes, my eyes.”
“Oh, shut up, you pussy.” You set your book down, crossing your legs. “A girl gotta live out her fantasies somehow, alright?”
“La la la,” he repeated, trying his best to ignore the conversation. “I don't wanna hear it.”
You let out a chuckle, stood up from your seat, and tossed yourself onto the bed with him, tackling him as he thrashed from your grip.
“Stop it, stop it,” he groaned, wriggling away from your hands as you tickled him. He giggled, childlike. You giggled right along with him, not even caring about the damn sweat that coated his skin, his clothes. You tangled together under the blanket, and after a good couple minutes of a tickle fight, you grabbed your laptop to watch your favorite TV show.
Jongho stayed under the blankets with you, his leg strewn on top of your body, his head in the crook of your neck as you watched the show together. He let out a few snide comments—earning a slap from you, but he just chuckled and nuzzled closer into you.
And after a few episodes, he fell asleep on you, legs tangled in yours, your arm wrapped around him.
“Dude, you wouldn't answer your phone last night,” Wooyoung mumbled as he stuffed a couple of chips into his mouth. “Do you literally have a new bitch every night?”
You and your friends were sitting at a table in the dining hall, munching on some lunch before you had class. Wooyoung, San, and Mingi sat across from you and Jongho, all of them in workout gear—they were going to the gym after lunch.
“Listen, last night wasn't even that good,” San hummed dully, taking a sip of his protein shake. “She was too damn loud—”
“I thought you liked them whiny,” Mingi deadpanned.
San’s eyes narrowed on the giant. “Your point? She was loud, not whiny—there’s a difference.” San looked to Jongho now, a slight smirk on his pretty little lips. “Where’d you go? You could've joined us.”
Jongho waved his hands sporadically. “No, no, I’d rather not, thank you.”
San huffed playfully, eyes dancing to you. They glimmered knowingly. “Ah, you’d rather be in her bed, right?” he nodded his head towards you, earning a harsh glare from Jongho.
“So what if I'm in her bed, it’s not like we do anything.” Jongho’s eyes went frantic, and his fists balled. “We’ve always slept with each other—wait, that came out wrong—”
“What he’s trying to say is that we’ve slept in the same bed since we were little, that nothing is ever gonna happen,” you interjected, crossing your arms across your chest.
San laughed at that. “Ah yeah, that nothing’s gonna happen, gotcha,” he said, taking the last sip of his protein shake. I’m going to the gym if you guys are ready. Jongho, y/n, you coming?”
You shook your head, but stood up with everyone else, anyway. “I have class, but you guys have fun. I’ll walk out with you.”
As you and your friends left the dining hall, the cool, winter air breezed through you, sending chills down your spine. Your winter coat wasn't enough. You shoved your hands into your pockets, walking stiffly next to jongho, who simply—possibly even without thinking, tossed his arm around your shoulder, warming you up instantly. Your friends continued to talk and carry on, and you snuggled up into Jongho’s warm side.
Class was a bore. As per usual. The spring semester had just started, and the new classes you had were far from entertaining. Anything to get through school, though.
As you packed up your things, a phone fell from the seat in front of you, landing right by your feet. You picked it up, but when the person was no longer sitting there, you quickly tossed your bag over your shoulder to follow him.
“Hey, excuse me!” you huffed, chasing after the guy—damn, his legs were long. He moved way too fast for you. “Your phone….dude!” you finally reached him, tapping him on the shoulder, only for the most gorgeous man to grace the earth to turn around.
You forced yourself to keep your jaw from falling to the floor as you met his dark eyes. His hair was even darker, his lips a soft pink, curling up slightly. 
“I’m sorry,” you breathed, holding up the phone. “But you dropped this.”
The pretty guy blinked, smirking. The classroom emptied as you stood staring at each other, oblivious to the professor giving you a side-eye as he left.
“I don't think that’s mine,” he said blandly, but his eyes glimmered mischievously. He looked a bit older—definitely older than you, at least.
You furrowed your brows, looking at the phone in your hands. “I could've sworn you were the one sitting in front of me,” you wondered, confused. You pushed it forward into his chest. “Just take it I don't have time to find the owner if it's not yours.”
He smiled down at you, his thick eyebrows raising. “I won't take it.”
“Why the hell not?” your patience was running thin—you had to get the cheer practice. This stupidly pretty guy was not allowed to make you late. You were not running laps. Not today. 
You were about to just shove it into his pockets until his mouth opened. “Not without your number.”
You frowned. “Is that….is that supposed to be a pickup line?”
He shrugged. “If you want it to be, then yes.”
God, the smile this damn boy had. You were gonna crumble under his gaze like some schoolgirl, but you kept your cool.
His eyes were so bright, so clear. He was tall, much taller than you, much older. You watched as he looked around, away from you. “If not, then I’ll just take the phone back—”
“No, no,” you laughed awkwardly, looking at the phone in your hands. “You just…you’ll just need to unlock it.”
He smiled gorgeously. “I can do that.”
He took the phone, typed in a few numbers, and gave it right back to you. “What’s your name?” 
“y/n,” you hummed, forcing your blush away. This was the first time you had been asked for your number, the first time a guy other than Jongho or your friends had looked at you. “You?”
“Seonghwa,” the pretty boy smiled, a name now to the face. You couldn't help but grin at his expression—and the utter insanity that just happened. It was totally random; a pretty guy asking for your number? That’s never happened in all your years. Never. 
“If I ask to buy you a coffee,” he started as you fumbled on your phone number. “Would you say yes?”
“Depends,” you shrugged, unable to look up at him. “If you get me food, too.”
“Deal.” Goddamn, that smile, those teeth. “Tomorrow, after class? Before class?”
You bit your lip, handing the phone back to him. “Before, I have practice after class.” actually, you had practice like, right now. You probably looked crazy, eyes wide as you realized where you needed to be. “I gotta go—speaking of which—”
Before you could leave, he called for you. “Hey, where should we meet?”
“Outside the library?” you tossed out, hoping he answered hastily. 
He nodded, giving you that smile once again. 
“Perfect.”
You were in bed after practice, and Jongho was sitting quietly on your desk chair, slowly taking off his knee brace and hissing. 
“God, this thing sucks,” he groaned, the velcro tearing as he peeled it off. The brace was like a metal cage, going from his thigh to his lower calf, looking like a deathtrap.
“And it stinks,” you mumbled dramatically, staring up at your ceiling, hands folded on your stomach as your mind wandered. You sat up quickly, startling your best friend. 
“What? What is it?” he spat out, running a hand through his sweaty hair. “You just sat up like a goddamn zombie.”
“If, let’s just say, hypothetically,” you wondered, looking out into space. “That I got asked out on a date to a coffee shop, how would I dress?”
Jongho’s eyes widened. “You got asked out? You?” he asked incredulously.
You scoffed, looking over at him with a playful sneer. “Is that so hard to believe?”
He laughed, finally taking off his brace and setting it on the side of your desk. “Oh yeah—y/n, you’ve never once gone on a date in all of our years of friendship. It's shocking.”
You blinked at him, gripping a pillow from behind you and tossing it at him. Of course, he caught it. 
“I’m just saying—”
“Okay, but for real,” you groaned, shifting to get comfy again. “You’ve been on some dates, how did the girls usually dress for them? Did you ever go on a coffee date—”
“Who’s the guy?” he huffed out, completely ignoring your worries.
You flattened your lips. “Does that matter?”
“Uh, yeah. What if the guy is a scumbag?” Jongho leaned back in the chair, stretching out his arms. 
“He’s definitely not a scumbag,” you sighed, thinking of how dreamy he looked, missing Jongho’s worried expression. “Anyway, you didn't answer my question.”
You couldn't figure out the look on your best friend’s face. He knitted his brows, his eyes raising to yours. “Just dress normally,” he spoke softly. “When’s your date?”
“Tomorrow.” You hopped off your bed and walked towards your closet across from Jongho. He followed you as you moved and hesitated to look as you tore off your top, leaving you standing in your sports bra.
Jongho gulped but rolled his eyes playfully. “Why do you always undress in front of me?” His eyes naturally dropped to your hips as you slid off your sweatpants. “I am a man, too, you know.”
“Pfft, man, my ass,” you turned your back to him as he tried his best not to look. You grabbed a t-shirt—his t-shirt that you kept from a while ago—and tossed it on. You didn't even bother with pants.
Jongho gave you a look as you turned to face him. “My shirt? Really?” He groaned, mouth parted as he looked at you. “Where the hell are your pants?”
“I don't like pants.”
“Then put shorts on—”
“Is it a crime to sleep in my underwear? God, at least I have something on, dammit.” you walked past him and hopped back onto your bed. “I could be completely naked—this is my room, remember?”
Jongho didn't change his expression—he blinked at you while you sat on the bed, bare-legged, the skin up to the top of your thigh visible. He took in a gulp. “I, uh, I got an assignment due at midnight. I’m gonna head back to my room.”
You shrugged and shuffled into bed to get comfy. “Have fun with that, babycakes,” you said, giving him a wink, but he ignored it and left your room without another look.
Maybe it was a bad idea to wear jeans on a day like today.
A day when you woke up painfully bloated, bleeding, and aching from your period. Out of all the days, you had to get it today. 
You stood outside the library, your back against the red brick building. You wore a cute pink top with the flared jeans you were struggling with, and you added a cute little bow to hold your hair back.
You saw Seonghwa walk up to you. His lower half was also dawned in wonderfully-fitting jeans. They hugged his thighs, loosening a bit at his knees, and fell over a pair of sparkling clean white sneakers that looked like they were worth more than your car. 
The white shirt was also slim against his lean frame. You held back any reaction you had like a damn cat in heat. “Hey,” he started as he neared. “Ready to go? We can go to the coffee shop on campus since we have class coming up.”
You nodded, hoping to god the smile on your face was not grimace-like. 
“Yep, let’s go.”
You sat with your hands in your lap, fiddling with your fingers anxiously as Seonghwa waited for your drinks. You looked over at him, watching his figure lean against the closest wall, how his long, long legs looked in those damn pants, how his fingers tapped against his arm as he waited. You barely knew him, nothing much other than knowing his name and now his coffee order, and you wondered what it would be like to get to know him. 
When he sat down in front of you, he handed you your coffee, a bright, blinding smile on his face. “I pegged you as the type to like ridiculously flavored seasonal drinks….” he paused, smirking, as you froze mid-sip on your….seasonal drink. Highly, highly sugary seasonal drink. “Guess I’m a good judge of character.”
You swallowed the party of sugar and cinnamon before giving him a shy smile. “I’m a sucker for them, to be honest.”
You sat quietly for a good while, sipping on your drink, him sipping on his. The feeling was…nice. However, you were a bit anxious as he looked at you, at your lips, as you drank from the straw. 
“You’re a cheerleader for the basketball team, right?” He tilted his head slightly, looking at you. “I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere—besides class, I mean.”
You nodded. “Yep, I cheer for the basketball team,” you took another sip of your drink. “Do you play? I think I would've seen you before, though.”
“Actually,” he started, offering you a kind smile. “I just transferred in from another university. I start official practice today, but I’ve been to many games already.”
Oh, so he’d seen you and known that you were on the cheer squad even before he approached you?
Cute. 
“Oh, wow,” you smiled, leaning closer without realizing it. “So, will you be playing in the next game, then?”
“Yes,” he looked ecstatic, like he can't wait. “We’ll see how much playing time I actually get, though. Those guys are very good—”
“Oh, I know!” you didn't mean to interrupt him, but you would take any chance to brag about your Jongho. “My best friend is the point guard.”
“You know Jongho?” Seonghwa smiled, but it looked a bit weary. “He’s a great guy.”
“He really is.” you took a large sip of your coffee, meeting Seonghwa’s gaze as you did it. His gaze fluttered to your lips once more, and he licked his own. 
He tapped against the wooden table. “Would you….want to do this again?”
You raised your brows. “This? You mean, getting coffee?”
“Not exactly,” he blinked, letting out a little chuckle. “Anything, just…we can hang out more, if you're down with that.”
Your heart fluttered a bit. “Ah, yeah, I would like that.”
He smiled. “Good,” he looked at the clock on the wall near your seat. “We gotta get to class.”
“Class, yeah, that’s right,” you were lost in his gaze, not even realizing how captivating his entire being was. You followed him out of the coffee shop, walking next to each other, until you got to the classroom.
He took the seat next to you this time, and you were beginning to suffocate from the feeling of his body being so close.
“I think I’m doomed.”
Jongho, like always, is in your room when you come back from practice. He sat up from his lazy position on your bed, eyebrows raised.
“Why’s that?”
You huffed, tossing your cheer bag onto the floor next to your desk. “What if he kisses me? I’ve never kissed anyone, fuck, I bet I’ll look like a fish trying to gulp fucking water—”
“God, you’ve been here for not even a minute, and you're blabbing on like a maniac already.” He blinked, his face deadpanned as he looked at you. “Why are you so concerned? Did the date go well?”
You groaned dramatically, tossing off your sneakers, and balancing yourself on the back of your desk chair. “He asked me for another date, but I know damn well what that means, and I can't let him find out that I am a twenty-something-year-old virgin that’s only ever kissed books and my mother.”
Jongho looked like he was about to burst out laughing at your desperate words, biting the inside of his cheek. He managed to squeak out, “Oh, I think you’re a lost cause,” he giggled. Giggled.
“This is not funny. You're no help,” you groaned, tossing your head back as you walked to your closet—when a perfect idea came to you. 
“Wait a damn minute–”
“What is it now?” Jongho sat up on your bed, legs dangling off the side.
You turned around sharply, facing him, eyes wide with mischief. His eyes widened at your expression.
“Lend me your lips,” you said, walking up to him, but he leaned back in confusion, his arms holding himself behind him.
“What?” He scoffed, unable to meet your gaze. “The hell do you mean?”
You leaned over him on the bed, him unable to lean any further back without falling. You held yourself up on both sides of him. “Oh, come on. Just once. You can help me learn how to kiss. Who else could?”
He furrowed his brows. “You’re crazy.”
“I know,” you shrugged. “But I’d rather die than embarrass myself.”
“You do know,” He started, letting out a sigh. “That friends don't kiss each other? Or did you miss that memo?”
“I swear it won't mean anything,” you pleaded, knowing you were acting crazy, immature, whatever. 
Jongho huffed, leaning forward, but grabbing your shoulders to move you away. “Listen,” he sighed, meeting your eyes. “Why don't you go ask San or Mingi?”
“Because San scares me,” you shrugged. “He’d probably eat me. And Mingi is….Mingi….”
“What does that even mean—”
“For fuck’s sake, Jongie,” you grabbed his shoulders. “Is this asking too much? We’ve been best friends for so long. How would something so trivial as a kiss mess with it?”
Jongho looked like he had something to say—a lot to say, actually. But he stayed quiet, sighing, as he looked up at you from his seated position on the bed.  
“Okay, but if I have to kiss someone as filthy as you,” he huffed, crossing his arms. “What do I get out of it?”
You hummed. “Hmm. well, what do you want?”
He smiled mischievously. “Do my paper for me. For my lit class.”
“Easy, done,” you leaned forward. “Now gimme your lips—”
“Ah ah ah, slow down,” he scoffed. “You can't just toss yourself into the kiss. You have to lead into it.”
“Got it,” you blinked, looking into his golden brown eyes, noticing how…nice they were. “How do I do that?”
“Well, I bet he’ll try to kiss you first,” Jongho ran a hand through his fluffy brown hair, matching his eyes. You took note of it, too. He stood up, causing you to subconsciously step away from him. You both now stood in the middle of your dorm room, the room dimly lit by your desk lamp, the warm hue coloring the tanned skin of his face.
“Okay,” you nodded, almost freaking yourself out for noticing his details, the slight curve of his lips, the way his hair fell across his forehead. 
Jongho’s calloused hand slowly, hesitantly, moved towards your face. You watched his eyes as his fingertips brushed your skin, watching them scrunch, watching them focus on his movements. “Maybe he’d hold you like this,” he spoke softly, eyes jumping to yours, his hand twitching slightly.
“But what do I do?” you weakly jutted out, biting the corner of your bottom lip. “Do I…touch you—touch him, too?”
He shrugged, swallowing hard. “I mean, you do what comes naturally.”
He was so close. So close. It's not like you’ve never been closer to him, because you have, but something was suffocating. Maybe this wasn't a good idea.
Maybe this is just how it’s supposed to feel.
You stared into his eyes, those brown eyes, those….sparkling, pretty eyes. You swallowed as his hand slid down to your chin, tilting it up softly.
There was an unknown emotion dancing in his gaze. You were extremely aware of the spark that was setting off from his touch. 
He leaned in closer, and as he got closer and closer, you felt your heartbeat flutter in your chest. You heard it in your ears, felt your stomach tighten. 
“I’m going to kiss you now,” he said hushedly. You noticed that the tips of his ears were flushed red, and a dusting of the color was across his cheeks. When he pressed his lips to yours, you widened your eyes from the feeling, then shut them to savor it.
His mouth moved across yours, you felt the warmth of his lips, the softness of them. His other hand—the one that wasn't holding onto your chin, rested around your hip, his grip tightening. 
You froze under his lips, unsure of how to do this. You moved your mouth against his, then, trying to move with his movements. You hesitantly wrapped your arms around his neck, unsure of what to do with them if you didn't do that. You felt a small smile in his kiss.
You pressed your body into him as his lips parted against yours. You felt the soft tickle of his shaky breaths against your skin—you could only imagine what you felt like to him.
He parted from you, only slightly, and took a sharp inhale. You still had your eyes shut tight, lips parted, as you got lost in the feeling. 
You opened them, meeting his gaze, meeting that heart-shattering look he had. His lips were red like his ears, like his cheeks. His eyes were hazy, his hands still on you. You felt your heart crumbling inside you. 
Without another word, you leaned back up to him, awkwardly wrapping your hand around his neck, fingers tangling into his hair. He shut his eyes, and let out a pleasured sound, stirring something, awakening something inside.
You kissed him this time, even knowing that you had no idea what you were doing. You just trusted these instincts you were feeling, the emotions that were overtaking your mind. Your body told you to part your lips against his sweet lips, to savor the slightly salty taste against them. To lean into his body. You couldn't help but allow yourself to touch his waist, gliding your hand down his abs, his stomach, feeling his muscles tighten under your touch. 
He sighed into your mouth, his hands gripping your waist, his fingertips brushing the bare skin under your blouse. His lips felt so good, so soft, so electrifying. This feeling was unlike any other, you were beginning to lose your breath, your senses, your mind.
And when you let out a little moan—without intending to, you were shocked back to reality. You pulled away from him quickly, moving your hands to your sides, trying to catch your breath. Jongho was also huffing, begging for oxygen, as he stood in front of you. His lips were bright red now; his eyes were wide.
“Ah, um,” you cleared your throat, forcing out a laugh. “So, did I do a good job?”
Jongho blinked, still looking out of it. “Huh? Oh, uh, yeah.” He swallowed, nodded, and crossed his arms across his chest. “Mhm. For your first kiss, you did good.” 
Good? Good? God, that felt euphoric. Like you were drugged, high, out in space. You still couldn't get your heartbeat to slow. “Great.” That was all you managed to squeak out, now that you were suddenly aware of the ability to just kiss him again. You realized that the air was odd now, that something felt different. 
“You tasted like sweat,” you playfully added, letting out an awkward laugh as you gave him a shoulder punch. “Maybe I should've kissed San or Mingi instead.”
“I am a great kisser, I’ll have you know—” Jongho boasted, but you interrupted him. 
“Pfft,” you waved a hand as if you weren't just about to hyperventilate from his kiss, his touch. “You sucked, you’re a horrible teacher—”
“Oh?” he huffed, gripping your arms just below your elbows. “I’ll kiss you again, I’ll prove it, I’ll do you one better—”
“Fine! More practice for me, anyway.”
Jongho let out a grumble of incoherent words before grabbing you by the back of the neck and pressing his mouth to yours once more, his lips gliding against yours. 
You grabbed the fabric of his shirt, tightening your grip as he pushed his tongue through your lips, into your mouth. You let out a sigh as he did it, his fingertips gripping your hair on the back of your head.
After a long few minutes of eating each other, He pulled away this time. He let go of you, his hands falling at his sides. “There,” he breathed. “Now you know how to handle a kiss like that. You know, just in case.”
You licked your bottom lip, sparks still flying around your body. You tasted him still, the saltiness of his sweat. You smelled the woodsy cologne he used, the minty taste of gum. 
“Thanks,” you smiled, trying your best not to let these thoughts of him overtake you. “For helping me with this. You’re such a good best friend.”
“Ah, yeah,” he sniffed, forcing a smile. “I should, uh. I should go, I have something to submit before midnight, so,” He gulped, taking a step away from you. “But happy to help, of course. Now you owe me my paper.”
“Aye, aye, captain,” you scoffed, smiling playfully as he walked to the door to put on his shoes.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” he called out as he opened the door, leaving after you offered him a wave goodbye.
And once the door shut, you nearly lost your breath, falling onto your bed.
“Oh god,” you breathed, putting a hand to your mouth. “What was that? I—ugh!” you groaned, thrashing your legs around. “Why the fuck was he so hot? Get a grip, get a grip.” you ran your hands aggressively through your hair and gripping it. “Fuck I think my brain lost too much oxygen.”
You couldn't sleep one bit—not at all. Every time you closed your eyes, all you saw was Jongho, and all you felt was him.
A few days pass and you barely see your best friend.
It's not that he’s ignoring you or vice versa; it's that he had an away game a good distance away and was off campus for a good few days. 
While he was gone, you wondered if he was thinking the same way you were, if he felt something, too, or if it was just normal to have feelings during a kiss. 
Irritated by your stupid mind, you were unsure about the feeling in your chest when you saw Jongho in the library; his baseball hat flipped backwards over his soft brown hair.
You would look odd if you ran away, right? Right.
You strutted over to where he was sitting. He always loved the window seats, mainly to people watch. You sat down in the seat across from him.
“When’d you get back?”
He lifted his eyes to yours. “Last night,” he grumbled, flipping a page in the book in front of him.
“What are you reading?” you leaned forward on your elbows.
He reacted much worse than you thought, flying backward into his chair, a terrified look on his face. 
“Yo, I’m not gonna bite you, Jeez,” you raised a brow, moving your gaze to the book. “Oh, ew, anatomy. No thanks.”
He scoffed, picking off an invisible—or maybe an extremely small—piece of lint from his black hoodie. He didn't say anything in response, he just continued what he was doing.
“So,” you tried to continue the conversation with him without it turning to mush. “I’m gonna be going to Seonghwa’s frat tonight. There's a party or something.”
He looked at you with shock. “You’re going to a party?”
“Is that so hard to believe?” you rolled your eyes, leaning back to cross your arms around your chest. Jongho’s vision dipped to the movement.
“Well, given that you hate crowded places,” he trailed off, not really having another excuse. “I just can't see you going to—”
“y/n?” a voice softly murmured from your left, and both you and Jongho turned to see Seonghwa walking up to your table, a bag slung across his broad shoulder. His hair was pulled up in a half up half down do, little black strands framing his unfathomable face.
Jongho, in the corner of your eye, looked away from the tall basketball player, opting for the view outside the library.
“Seonghwa?” you smiled, uncrossing your arms to look less like a grumpy bitch. “What’s up?”
You didn't even look to see the irritation on Jongho’s face.
“I was coming in to study but then I saw you in the corner of my eye,” he smiled, beamed, really, adjusting the bag on his shoulder. He then nodded to Jongho, offering him a smile, too. “Hey, Jongho.”
Your best friend managed to give him a smile back, although you knew his face all too well—that was a damn grimace. “Hey.” 
You looked between the two boys as seonghwa spoke again. “Hey, me and y/n are gonna be at the party tonight. You wanna come? The other guys on the team will be there, too.”
“Well, I can't imagine San missing a function,” Jongho scoffed, cracking his knuckles aggressively. “But I guess I’ll come, too.”
You nearly dropped your jaw onto the floor.
“Really?” you interjected, shocked. “I can't imagine you going to a party—”
“Anyway,” Jongho cleared his throat, ignoring you. “What time?”
Seonghwa furrowed his brows as he tried to recall. “Uh, I think ten? It goes till two, no later,” He looked to you then. “Do you wanna go for some lunch?”
You blushed. Jongho huffed. “Oh, yes. That would be nice,” you smiled, to which Jongho rolled his eyes in response. You stood up from your seat and offered your best friend a playful wink. “See you tonight, jongie.”
When you walked away, seonghwa slugged an arm around your shoulder on the way out. Jongho, still in his seat, tightened his grip on the textbook as he watched you leave.
And then he couldn't even enjoy people-watching when he saw you walk down the sidewalk with that string bean.
You didn't hear from jongho the rest of the day, and even when ten o’clock came, he was M.I.A. You shrugged it off, trying too hard to ignore the tug in your chest, the desire to go to his room and kiss him again. 
You made it to the frat house that sat on the end of the Greek life strip in town. It was a tall, skinny building that looked way too nice to be lived in by a bunch of boys. You made sure to wear your filthy Converse, knowing damn well whether booze, puke, or a plethora of other fluids would end up all over them. Despite not going to many parties in your lifetime, you still had common sense. 
You walked into the house, getting bombarded with tons of odd smells, some good and some bad. The interior was dark, lit with random colored lights that danced all over the walls, the people. 
Loud, ungodly music blared through oddly positioned speakers in the wall, and there was a sea of people talking and carrying on. You weren't sure how the fuck they could hear each other over the awful music.
You walked further into the house, making a B-line to where you assumed the alcohol was. There was a bunch of beer cans, and you grabbed one with ease, cracking it open and chugging it like a champ. However, the beer sucked ass, leaving an awful taste in your mouth. You must've made a face.
“Icky?” Seonghwa’s smooth voice envelopes you with comfort. 
You turn to him, offering him a sincere smile. He looked great, as always, with his hair growing even longer. “Very, but if it gets me drunk, I’ll handle it.”
“So brave,” he chuckled, standing closer to you by the second. Your mind wanders to the thought of him touching you. Would it feel as good as it did with Jongho? Would his hands be gentle? Would his lips taste as sweet? 
His hand on the small of your back interrupted your thoughts.
You needed to be drunk. Quick, so you can handle these stupid ideas.
“It’s good to see you here,” he starts, but you can't help but look at his lips. You weren't thinking about them—no, rather, you were thinking of Jongho’s. Would Seonghwa feel the same?
You took another sip of your drink to get the last drop before grabbing another. “Do they have something else? This shit sucks.”
Seonghwa looked at you for a long moment before nodding in a direction. “There’s vodka in the cabinet if you want it?”
You let out a sigh of relief, but still, you kept drinking the shitty beer. “Yes, god, yes.”
After you got ahold of the vodka, you regretted your choice against the beer.
You must've blacked out for a bit—you don't remember how you got in the living room, how you got onto Seonghwa’s lap, how his lips were on your neck. You delightfully craned your neck to feel it better, to feel his hot breaths, his hands on your waist. However, when you opened your eyes, you realized that you were imagining someone else under you.
You pulled away from him, but you didn't get off him. You looked into his eyes, seeing the desire drip from them. You were too messed up—blame that on your shitty tolerance, to care what you were doing right now. “Can I try something?” you fluttered your eyelashes, not meaning it in a sultry way, but it came out that way.
“Of course,” Seonghwa mused, a little smile prickling at his lips.
Lips that you wanted to kiss—not because you needed to, but because you needed to see something, feel something—have something to compare to that ethereal experience you had with your best friend.
And at his approval, you leaned forward, doing everything that you were taught, and pressed your lips to Seonghwa’s. He responded well, gripping the back of your head as he kissed you back, and you slid your tongue in his mouth, half expecting to feel something, anything.
But there you were, imagining Jongho, his smell, his taste, the way he cautiously touched you and held you. Nothing can compare, not even this.
You pulled away from him, eyebrows raised, mouth agape. He looked confused at your reaction but put on a sloppy smile. “Everything okay?”
You were going to say no. you were going to cry out and say that you were going to die because you kept thinking about Jongho. You couldn't even kiss a hot guy, a guy you wanted to date, without thinking how much better it felt with Jongho. Everything felt better with him. It was comfortable, unnerving, exciting, all at the same time.
You smiled, but with how drunk you were, you could assume that it looked like a grimace. “I uh, yeah, I just gotta….go do something—-bye,” you huffed out, offering him a little, awkward wave, before you ran out of the spinning room.
You ended up on the back porch, not sure how you got there, but the world was spinning. Your chest was aching. You needed air, anything, you needed to breathe.
The cool air hit you just right, enveloping your lungs, helping you breathe. Your skin was hot, flaming underneath your clothes, and you were sure your cheeks were bright red. After noticing a couple making out in the corner, you grimaced and ran back into the house.
God, what a shitshow.
You avoided seonghwa narrowly, making your way up the creaky, thin staircase to get your own space. You opened the first door you got to, tossed yourself in, and slammed your back against the door with a sigh of relief.
That relief didn't last long.
“y/n, what the hell?” Jongho nearly screeched, turning his body slightly as he stood over the toilet, zipping up his pants in a frenzy. “The fuck? Don't you know how to knock?”
You didn't say anything. You just took a deep breath, your gaze falling over him.
“y/n?” He repeated, standing a bit awkwardly on the other side of the room, leaning over to flush the toilet. He looked a bit rough around the edges as he washed his hands quickly, looking over at you as he dried them. He walked up to you now, hesitantly, unsure about your expression.
You fiddled with your fingers as the world slowed around you.
“Are you gonna talk?” He scoffed playfully, his eyes raking your body, forcing themselves up to your face. “Are you okay?”
“No,” you swallowed, shaking your head, the door behind you the only thing holding you up.
He gave you a concerned look, running a damp hand through his silky hair, and you couldn't help but think about how wonderful it would be to rake your hands through it, too. “No, that you're not okay, or no, that you’re not gonna talk?
You blinked. “....yes.”
He sighed. His eyes looked hazy, not quite to the extent yours probably looked, but still, he was not in his right mind, either. You took a shaky breath, watching those brown irises fall to your lips, to your chest. 
You clench your fingers together, your body, dying to do something your heart would regret. You swallowed hard, sighing.
“Aren’t you acting like this because you have something to say?” He asked, his words dripping like honey from his lips.
You shook your head. “No.”
He looked like he was fighting a smile. “I think you are.”
“No, I’m not–I’m not acting like this because I have something to say.” Your mind was already screaming at you, begging you not to do anything. Begging you not to say anything. “Because I want to do something.”
The air was stuffy. The bathroom was filthy, the window was cracked open, blowing in a slight breeze, gently running up your arms, sending chills down your spine. 
Jongho tilted his head. “To do what?”
The vodka in your basically vodka-virgin body was bubbling under your skin, infiltrating your mind, your blood. It was taking control over your every move, every idea, everything. So when he asked you that, when he looked like the most beautiful person in the world as he spoke, with his pretty ass hair and his lips and his flushed cheeks, you knew what you wanted to do.
“To kiss you,” you didn't stutter. You stayed put against the door despite your words. “I just wanna do it again. Every time I look at you, I want to do it.”
Jongho’s eyes widened, but he didn't run away like you thought he would. He just stood there, breathlessly, his hands at his sides and his mouth parted. It’s like he wanted to do it too, with the way his fingers twitched as you spoke, with the way his lips almost curled up completely. 
You pushed off the door, taking a step towards him. When he didn't back away, you took another step. You were so close to him that you were able to feel the soft, hot breaths he was letting out against your skin. His breath smelled like that disgusting beer, but it didn't matter at all—actually, you wanted to taste it on his lips, on his tongue.
You reached out a hand, the room spinning around you. Your fingertips met his cheek, his hot skin. You felt a surge of electricity run through your body as you touched him, as you looked into his eyes. His gaze was unlike anything else you have ever seen. His eyes were zeroed in on you, shutting slowly as you rubbed your hand against his skin. He let out a soft breath, a content sigh, and his eyes were on yours again.
He took in a breath, eyes on your lips. You were too drunk to think about how the look on his face made no sense—friends shouldn't look at each other the way he was looking at you.
You leaned forward, and when he didn't flinch away, when he actually leaned forward as well, you smiled to yourself, and pressed your lips to his.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his body to yours. His hips knocked into yours, his mouth parting, swallowing you whole. He shoved you against the sink, the countertop stabbing the small of your back, but you felt absolutely no pain. You arched your body into his, as if it were instinct, and his hands ravaged your bare skin. He was desperate, trying to catch his breath as best he could while he kissed you. 
Your hands found the nape of his neck, fingers tightening in his brown hair. He let out a little moan into your mouth, his hands caging you in against the sink. Accidentally, his forehead bumped yours, causing you to bite his lip. 
You pulled away, but just for a moment, smiling at him, at the redness of his lips from your gloss and your bite. He looked breathtaking in front of you, so human, so perfect. So you leaned in to kiss him again, nose knocking into his, but it didn't matter if you were sloppy. It just mattered that he was the one you were kissing. 
“y/n,” he breathed against your lips, his hands now on your hips, one curving around your ass. “We shouldn't be doing this—”
“Shh,” you hissed, slapping his shoulder, keeping your lips against his. “I don't care right now.”
You deepened the kiss, and as he pressed up against you, you felt something hard press into you; you felt a deep rumble from him into your mouth. The pool between your thighs.
Suddenly, the door to the bathroom opened. Mingi stood there, his jaw down to the floor, as he took in the scene in front of him. Jongho must not have heard the door, as his hands were still clawing at you like a goddamn animal, his lips on your neck now. You quickly gripped Jongho’s shoulders and pushed him away.
“What? You just said—” He took notice of where you were looking, turning his head to see Mingi’s shocked expression. “Oh.”
“Oh, dear god!” Mingi looked like he couldn't hide the smile peeking through his lips. “I knew it!”
Jongho took a whole century taking his hands off you, finally stepping away, leaving you cold, empty. “It’s not what you think—”
Mingi threw his hands up in the air, smirking. “Ay, I didn't see anything. Carry on.”
With one last look, Mingi shut the door, leaving you alone with Jongho. The feeling in the room was completely different from a moment ago.
“I….” he started, then sighed, unable to look at you. “I gotta go.”
“Jongho—” You went to move toward him, but he left the bathroom as quickly as he could, stumbling into the doorframe, and out of sight. You were left to your own devices, standing in the middle of the bathroom, hair a mess, lips bright and painful, and a mark on your neck from your best friend.
If you could call him that…
It’s as if he disappeared.
You haven't seen Jongho in days. You were even too nervous to go to his room this time, not knowing how to approach him after kissing him like that. After you felt the hardness of his cock against your stomach. The wetness between your thighs. Something you have never felt before.
After a few, empty, lonely nights in your room, you took the initiative to go find him at the late hour of midnight—To ask if he feels this intense craving for you just like you do for him. But when you arrived at his dorm, San told you he wasn't there.
“He’s been super sick. I thought he was with you,” He shrugged, confused.
“He’s sick?” your eyes widened. 
San nodded, messy hair from sleep. “Sorry, maybe he’s with Mingi?”
After your encounter with San, you made your way to Mingi’s dorm. But, once again, Jongho was nowhere to be found.
So you went to the only place you thought to look.
And there he was, under the bright lights, taking a shot at the three-point line on the courts near the rec center. He missed the shot and stood there a moment before going to grab his rebound.
But the ball rolled to where you were, as if it meant to. Jongho stood still as you grabbed the ball.
He stayed silent. You weren't sure whether to move closer or just pass him the ball back.
“Are you going to give me it?” He spoke blandly, sweat dripping down his forehead despite the cold air surrounding him.
You sighed, putting the ball under your arm. “Jongho, it’s cold out here.”
He sniffed, his nose red. He didn't look at you. “Just give me the ball, dammit.”
You blinked, watching the cold air show as you exhaled. “Why are you ignoring me?”
He rolled his eyes, taking in a breath. “Dammit, y/n—”
“You’re doing it on purpose,” you began to dribble the ball—very sloppily, but it didn't matter. You dribbled past him towards the hoop, tossing the ball up, watching it go through the net. “Ignoring me, I mean.”
“No, I’m not,” he huffed, moving to grab the ball from your shot. He made his way back up to the top of the key, away from you.
“Yes, you are.” you walked up to him, putting your hand out so he couldn't shoot. “Just be honest!”
With a huff of cold air, jongho tossed the ball away, an aggravated look on his face. “For fuck’s sake, y/n, Yes. I’m annoyed.”
You blinked, standing only a few feet away from him. “Why?” you asked, probably stupidly, given the irritated look on his face.
He sighed, tightening his hands into fists. “...Because….because I’m a man, too, you know.” he started, running his hands through his hair aggressively, clenching his jaw. “ You change in front of me, kiss me, do everything that causes my brain to spin. I’m sick of acting like I'm okay with it.”
You stood there, frozen. The air felt even colder as winter wrapped its arms around your bare skin.
“Does that mean you didn't like it?” you wondered out loud, possibly too immature, too inexperienced. You had no idea what you were feeling, why you felt this way. All you knew is that you wanted to spend every moment with him, to kiss him, to lay in bed with him. Things you did normally, but things felt different. 
“Didn't like what?” He asked, his eyes wide.
“The kiss,” you looked into his eyes. “The kisses.”
Jongho stood tensely, unsure of what to do. You watched his eyes flicker up to the sky as little flurries fell, catching themselves in his hair.
“y/n,” he took a sharp breath in. “don't you get it? I can't kiss you. You can't kiss me. You can't….touch me like that, change in front of me, and not expect me to get flustered!” He nearly shouted the last part, and turned to the side away from you, aggravated beyond words.
“I….I’m sorry,” you spoke out, taking a step towards him. “I’m sorry that I feel this way—”
“Feel what?” he scoffed, turning back to you, a pained smirk on his lips. “You should be sorry for making me feel this….for causing me so many headaches, for god sake why the fuck am I out here when it’s fucking snowing, jesus christ you piss me off—”
“Jongho,” you interrupted his freakout, his word vomit. He stared at you with those beautiful eyes of his. “What are you trying to say?” you spoke in a small voice.
His eyes were frantic, going back and forth from eye to eye. “I…. can't do this.”
“Do what?” you felt the flurries dance against your skin, dance as they fell around you.
“I can't act like your friend anymore.” He bit his lip. “You have no idea what you do to me. What you’ve been doing to me.”
You took a step closer, but he backed away.
“I don't understand—”
“Just go,” He pleaded. 
“You do things to me too!” you groaned, finally done with his attitude. “Will you knock it off? You’re not the only one confused here—”
“Oh, I confuse you?” He looked at you like you had two heads. “I’m sorry, I only kissed you because you were trying to get another guy. I kissed you so you could know how to do it, but you want to know something?” He paused, suddenly right up on you, the space gone between you. “I haven't kissed anyone either. I just…you. It’s just been you! I didn't know what I was doing, either!”
“Is that so bad?” you pleaded, your eyes bleeding into his. “Is it so bad that you had to kiss me? Should I apologize for wanting to do it again? That I haven't stopped thinking about you since?” you frantically looked into his eyes. 
“Just…” Jongho sighed, his eyes a bit watery. “Lleave me be.” 
The look on his face was enough. You took a step back, and then another. 
“I won't apologize for my feelings, for whatever this feeling is,” you admitted. “But I am sorry I caused you trouble.” before you left him there, you looked up to him once more, snow falling around you. “Good luck at your game, tomorrow.”
You turned on your heel, not understanding a single thing that just unfolded, that was just said. He made no sense; you made none, either. It was just a bunch of words, unnecessary words, rifting your friendship. But one thing was for certain—you couldn't repair this without a few missing pieces. 
Jongho stood as still as a statue as he watched you walk away.
You sat on the bench in your cheerleading uniform, your heart beating a mile a minute as you watched the game unfold in front of you. 
It was approaching halftime. Jongho was sprinting down the sideline, limping slightly as he moved. He passed the ball beautifully to San, who was wide open for the layup. 
You couldn't focus on anything—didn't even cheer when San made the shot. You just sat and stared into space, your eyes following jongho, watching his wince as he backed up down the court. 
“He’s hurt,” you muttered under your breath, stomach tightening. 
Jongho continued playing his heart out, but you knew something was wrong. However, as halftime came, he walked away from the court just fine and into the locker room, not giving you a single passing glance as he walked past you. Seonghwa did, however, but you weren't even paying attention to that.
After a few long moments, the team came back out. You had to cheer, but your heart wasn't in it. Jongho, once again, walked right by you, and when you were about to jump up and ignore everything that was said yesterday to make sure you were okay, the buzzer rang. 
The game went on, the score going back and forth until the last quarter. Jongho stood at mid-court, calling a play, but the guy guarding him was aggressive. He tried to make a move around him, squeaking his sneakers against the hardwood, but it was no use. The defender followed him with ease, sliding his feet in perfect position.
The gym was in hysterics as Jongho pushed for the bucket, taking a side step into a euro step, but suddenly, oh so suddenly, Jongho crashed to the ground in a thud before getting the shot off.
The gym went silent. Jongho hissed in pain, his eyebrows knit tight. The athletic trainer ran out to see him as the game was put on hold with less than a minute to go. You stood up, not even realizing what you were doing. All you could feel was a pain in your chest as you saw him hurt, the intense feeling to take his pain away. You watched in despair as he was lifted off the floor, as he was carried out of the gym.
You swallowed hard, your ears ringing. Your teammates tried to get you focused, as the game was going to continue, but you jumped up and pushed through, making your way to the locker room desperately. 
“Jongho?” you panted, turning the corner to enter the boy's locker room. You sucked in a breath as you see him in pain, lying down on the bench, a few others around him as he nearly cried in pain. 
“Jongho!” you cried out, rushing to his side. His eyes were frantic, wide, a mess. The trainer took off his knee brace slowly as you approached. “Oh my god, are you okay?”
Jongho met your gaze through his watery eyes, every other emotion gone other than…whatever this was. He almost let out a sigh of relief as he saw you. You knelt down next to him, gripping his hand, and he held yours tighter. 
“y/n,” he murmured, sucking in a sharp breath as the trainer surveyed his leg. “Did I…did I do it again? Please tell me I didn't—”
You looked at the man who was assessing his injury. “Did he tear it again?” you panicked, remembering how awful this was for him back then. How traumatizing it was, how horrible it was for him to gain his strength again. You couldn't stand to see him in pain.
“I…I don't know,” the man admitted. “It’s too swollen to tell. You’ll need to get this checked out—”
“Goddammit,” Jongho hissed, shutting his eyes tightly, and swallowing hard. That was when you realized that it might not even be the pain from the injury—no, it was his trauma. The memory of his hard work all down the drain. 
“I’m here,” you breathed, tucking his hair behind his ear and away from his face. “It’ll be okay.”
The buzzer rang, and screams followed. Jongho looked at you, not a care in the world other than that you were there with him, just like before.
“You’ll be alright,” you repeated softly, your heart aching at his pain. “This will be okay.”
“From the MRI, it looks like everything is still intact,” the doctor spoke with a tone of arrogance. “You did weaken your surgical graft, however. You’ll need some PT and rest.”
Jongho stared down at his leg, his hand still gripping yours. He breathed a sigh of relief but didn't say anything else. 
“I’ll write up a referral for that, so just hold on a moment.”
You were left in silence in the middle of the emergency room, Jongho sitting up straight on the bed with a big icepack on top of his knee. He was starting right at it, his lips downturned.
You wanted to ease his troubles. To make him feel better. Nothing felt worse than seeing him like this.
You didn't know what to say. You really couldn't say anything. You were so overwhelmed with the pain you felt as you looked at him as if it were your own. You hated his tears that begged to fall and never did.
“Hey,” you mumbled softly, squeezing his hand. It took him a minute to move his gaze to you, and when he did, his eyes spoke a thousand words. “See? It will be okay.”
He sighed, his face contorting as he fought his tears. “I…I’m sorry.”
“For what?” you weren't thinking of anything else other than what was in front of you. You rubbed your thumb against his knuckles, trying to soothe him.
“For how I acted.” He looked down at your hands, how yours was touching his, how his fingers were tight around yours. He didn't want to let go—neither did you. “I was just upset.”
“I know,” you nodded, swallowing. “I was, too.”
He looked into your eyes. “y/n, I…” he paused, the beeping of his heart rate speeding up in the background. “I just don't know why I acted like that I…I guess I got caught up in how I feel about you, and it confused me.”
You blinked. “How do you feel about me?”
He let out an uneasy laugh. “Isn't it obvious?”
You shook your head. “I… don't really know much of anything. Much of these feelings,” you acknowledged, biting your bottom lip anxiously. 
He let out a genuine laugh. “Me too.”
“So, how do you feel?” You tucked a piece of your hair that fell loose from your bow, suddenly aware of how much of a wreck you probably looked like. You were still in your cheer uniform, Jongho in his basketball one, and you were sure you had smeared mascara everywhere. “About me, I mean.”
He took in a sharp breath. “This isn't fair, I’m like, high from pain meds. I don't know what i’m saying.”
You smiled widely, feeling such immense love for the man in front of you.
Oh shit.
Are you….in love?
“All I know is that I haven't stopped thinking about you since I met you,” He chuckled anxiously. “I don't understand why, and it's just increasingly worse after you keep kissing me, it's making my head spin.”
Jongho yawned slightly after his somewhat confession, his eyes fluttering. 
He was so pretty. So, so pretty. You wanted to sleep with him. Next to him, cuddle with him, kiss his face, his eyelids, his cheeks, his everything. You wanted him to do everything to you that you dreamed of.
Oh fuck, you definitely are in love with him.
“Holy fuck—” you paused, staring at him, wide eyed at your realization.
“What?” He furrowed his brows.
You tried to control your overwhelming thoughts. “I just realized something…” you met his gaze, holding onto it tightly. “Are we…are we in love? I mean, I think at least I might be—”
“Holy shit, we might be,” Jongho gulped, a knowing smile curling at his lips. As if he knew this, at least on his end, for much longer than you have. He looked at you, then at his leg, and back at you. “Are you in love with me?”
“I think so?” you questioned, your chest aching. Jongho’s heart began to beat faster and faster, as seen on the monitor next to him. You leaned towards him, blushing as his heart rate jumped over one hundred. 
Jongho let out an anxious laugh. “You sound super confident.”
You would've kissed him right then and there, prove to him that you loved him, if it wasn't for that awful doctor. 
You helped jongho hobble out of the hospital, his leg wrapped in ice and his arms wrapped around you. You were hyper aware of the smell of sweat, the light remnant of his woodsy cologne. You heard his breath hitch as your fingertips curled around his arm as you walked toward the street for a cab.
“God, standing up really messed me up.” he wobbled a bit. “I don't know what they gave me, but fuck, I feel wonderful,” he giggled, nudging his head into the crook of your neck.
There was a mix of comfort and chaos as you got in the cab, his head on your shoulder, his hair a mess. His arm was slung over you, his eyes closed, his lips parted against your collarbone. He felt comforting, yes, but also his damn lips started to move against your skin.
“Jongho,” you breathed, trying to keep quiet as the cab driver carried on. “Stop it—”
“Mmmh,” he groaned into your neck, kissing it again, trailing up towards your jawline. 
“The fuck, did they give you viagra?” you nearly choked as his hand that was around your shoulder fell to your waist, tightening on the curve above your hip. His hand moved lower, past your hip, meeting the curve right before he could reach your—
“Hey,” you whisper yelled, smacking his cheek lightly. 
He opened his eyes, those brown irises sparkling despite the dark car. “Oh, its y/n,” he smiled, meeting your gaze, but you watched it fall to your lips. “You look pretty.”
You scoffed. “You don't know what you're talking about right now—”
“Oh, I do,” he smiled lopsidedly, his hand now coming up to cradle your cheek. “I know what i’m doing.”
You smirked. “I think you’re loopy.”
“Maybe a little,” he shrugged, smiling, his eyes curving into smiles too. “But I know what I want to do.”
You tilted your head, raising your brows. “And what’s that?”
He smiled villianously, teeth barred. “Do you really want to know?”
You held in your laugh, but managed to nod.
He took in a breath, letting it out in an exaggerated sigh. “I want to fuck you so bad,” he huffed, his head falling right back onto your shoulder. “So, so bad. I’ve always wanted to—”
“Jongho,” you blinked. “You’re high from pain meds, you don't know what you're—”
“Oh, but I do know,” he sat up quickly, eyes dazed, hair a mess on top of his head. He reached out a hand, tucking your hair behind your ears with a boyish smile. He focused on your face, on your eyes, your lips. His expression changed, his smile falling. “I wanted to tell you about how I feel about you.”
You bit your lip. “You did.” 
He waved a hand, flopping it around. “Nah, I didn't.”
“Yes, don't you remember?” you scoffed playfully. “We just had this whole talk like twenty minutes ago—”
“Aye, stop it, I had something to say but now I forgot!” he groaned, tossing his head back against the headrest. He then turned his head to your direction. “Did I ever tell you how pretty you are?”
“You just did,” you smiled.
“Oh, that’s right.” he swallowed, looking at your lips. “Did I ever tell you that I want to kiss you? Like, all the time?”
You shook your head, giving up on the fight against his high ass. 
“Well, I just want to kiss you, over and over again, and then when you started kissing me, I think I went crazy,” he blinked slowly, eyes covering every inch of your face. He leaned forward. “You really fucked me up, you know?”
You frowned. “Did I?”
“Pfft,” he huffed. “Are you kidding? You would change in front of me, lay in bed with me, touch me, everything I….” he swallowed hard. “How was I supposed to react to your tits? Your ass? You think i’ve never gotten hard from it?” you wanted to shut his nonsense up, but he kept going on. “I’ve had to literally leave just to jack off so you didn't find out—”
“Woah, woah,” you rose your eyebvrows. “You’re a mess right now, youll regret what you’re saying tomorrow—”
“I wont,” he sniffed, eyes meeting yours. “I’m done with acting like I don't think about you naked—”
“Jongho, shut it, we’re not alone—”
“We should be alone so I can do everything I want to you,” he pressed a sloppy kiss to your temple. “God, I want to do everything to you.”
You wanted to push him away. You wanted to tell him no—but…his lips, his words, his breath felt so good, so intoxicating. He pressed a kiss to your jaw, to the corner of your lips. “Can we fuck now?”
You closed your eyes, taking in a breath. “The hell is wrong with you? We’re in a cab—”
He ignored you, his lips continuing to find their way around your face. “When we get back?”
You looked down at his knee, how it was wrapped, how much pain it had caused him. “You just hurt your leg, and you’re not in your right mind.”
“Oh, i’m completely in my right mind,” he kissed your ear, letting a little breath of air tickle you. “I’ve wanted this forever.”
You sighed, your breath shaking, your chest tight. You had absolutely no experience—you’ve never had sex, never did anything with a man other than what you were doing now, and the little kiss you gave seonghwa. 
“I’m a virgin,” you whispered softly, embarrased. However, you felt the most comfortable with jongho. He was your everything.
“So am I,” he admitted, smiling. “We can learn together.”
“God, we’re so lame,” you breathed, smiling. 
Jongho, however, did not care about any words. He nuzzled into your collarbone, pressing a kiss there, over and over again. 
“So, does that mean we can have sex?”
You assisted jongho into your building, helping him into the elevator and pressing your floor while he leaned against the wall. 
The silence was deafening. You were sure he was able to hear your heart beat through your chest.
As the doors closed, you let a sigh out. 
“y/n,” he breathed. Behind you, his eyes were on you.
“Hm?” you hummed, afraid to turn to him, afraid of what you would do, what he would do. 
“I love you,” he spoke. 
You’ve both basically said it only an hour before. Only then, it didn't feel real. Now, maybe it was the fact that Jongho’s eyes have cleared up, his expression was raw. He looked nervous, he looked anxious. This was all new, all foreign—but Jongho wasn't new, wasn't different. He’s always been him, been by your side, your rock, your everything.
“I….love you too, dummy.”
When the elevator reached your floor, it took you a second to move. You helped him down the hall, and when you reached your door, you paused.
“Do you…want to…” you trailed off, unsure if that was only the drugs talking earlier.
When you turned to jongho, he had a sinister smile on his face. 
“You mean,” he nodded toward your room. “What I think you mean?”
“Well, jeez,” you scoffed, turning around to open your door. “As if you weren't the one all over me in the cab—”
A second later, you both stood in the entrance of your room, both of your hearts beating like crazy.
He entered the room after you, slowly shutting the door. The room was dark—you weren't even trying to turn the lights on.
You turned to jongho, watching him stand with his fists at his sides, his fingers gripping the fabric of his basketball shorts.
“How do we…” you took in a sharp breath, meeting his gaze. His eyes were wide, dripping with love, lust, with so much. You weren't sure if they always looked like that, if they looked at you like that. Those eyes….
“Let’s just, he winced a bit as he stepped closer. “Just stay where you are.”
When he got close enough, you saw the worry in his expression. The hesitancy, the love. He looked up, and his eyes spoke a thousand unspeakable words. His hand reached out, pausing at the hem of your cheerleading uniform. 
You let out an anxious laugh at his face, as he looked so conflicted. You didn't say anything though, and after a moment, he tugged your top right over your head, grinning like a goofball at the red lacy bra you had on.
“For me?” he murmured, his hand subconsciously drifting to run over your skin, his fingertips pressing against the thin fabric of your bra. He met your gaze, his jaw tightening.
You reached for his top now, the loose jersey easily pulling over his head—the jersey that was hiding the soft curves of muscle. You’ve seen him shirtless many times, an unimaginable amount of times—but this time, it was different. You ran a hand down the pane of his chest, across the mounds of muscle, down his soft but muscular frame. He was perfect, absolutely sexy, breathtaking, gorgeous. 
He shivered under your touch, meeting your gaze. He moved to take his shorts off, but winced. “Hold on, i’ll take them off—” but you both leaned down at the same time, crashing your heads together, causing a storm of laughter.
“God, we’re so not good at this,” He chuckled, smiling bright even in the dark room.
“No, not really,” you grinned, reaching down at his hips, pulling his shorts off, tugging a bit at the erection that bulged out. You held in your pride, the fact that he was already so turned on by just taking your clothes off.
His shorts fell down to his ankles, his underwear with them, leaving him completely naked, completely vulnerable in front of you. He looked at you with those damn eyes, those irises that held every emotion possible for you.
You took a second to take him in, his thickness, his length. You swallowed hard, suddenly aware that…that would go inside you, and it would probably tear your virgin self to shreds.
He then gripped the waistband of your skirt, tugging you to him. He was slightly taller than you, so when your body hit his, you felt his cock against your lower stomach, feeling a pulsing ache in your body. His fingers glided against the bare skin of your waist as he pulled your skirt over your hips, and when they fell, you were left standing in your mismatched underwear, begging him to take it off of you, too.
However, he just stood there like a deer in headlights, staring at the curves of your body, and the smoothness of your skin. His mouth parted, his eyes grew wide, and his hands twitched to touch you, to ravage you, to swallow you whole as if you were roadkill and he was a vulture.
An anxious vulture.
He reached around you, the heat of his body warming you, and his hands clasped around the clip of your bra. He fiddled with it for a good moment, and as he started getting irritated that he couldn't get it, you laughed. “Goddamn this thing has you locked up like fort knox—”
“Do you want me to get it—”
“No, no, i’ll be extremely embarassed, let me do it.” he continued to try to get it off you, and finally, it fell off you, onto the ground, and Jongho stood with a proud smile on his lips. “Fuck yeah, finally.”
But, right after his words of triumph, his eyes fell to your full breasts. His eyes widened, and he gave into his desires, letting himself grab one, calloused fingers gliding against your nipple.
“Oh, fuck y/n,” he breathed, both his hands coming up to cradle your breasts, to feel you up. He took in a breath, eyes unable to leave your body. “You’re absolutely beautiful.”
He dipped his head, taking in a breast into his mouth, flicking his tongue over your nipple. You felt your stomach tighten, felt your wetness pool at your thighs. He looked up to your eyes as he sucked, and when he saw your ecstatic expression, he quickly pulled away.
He didn't spare an extra second to claw at your underwear, satisfyingly watching them fall to the ground, leaving you both completely naked in the middle of the room. He looked at you, love dripping from his chocolate eyes.
And thats when you gripped the back of his neck. “I’m sorry if I don't do this very well,” you admitted, twirling your fingers in his hair. He didn't seem to even hear what you said as his eyes remained on your lips.
“God, we cant be friends anymore,” he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours, he hesitated, lips hovering over yours, his breath shaky, tangling with yours. “Definetly not, fuck.”
You tilted your chin forward, lips so close, so so close. His hands found your hips, fingernails leaving marks in your skin. 
And with one last look into your eyes, jongho sighed, letting go of everything. He pressed his soft lips to yours, taking you in like he hasn't kissed you before. Like he’s always wanted to. He breathed into you, moving his hands to cradle your face, to get as close to you as possible. 
You arched your body against his, bucking your hips into his, and he grunted in response. You fell backwards onto the bed, him on top of you, but as you fell, he bit your lip so hard you let out a little yelp.
“Oh shit,” he gasped, parting from you, eyes wide with worry. “Are you okay? Did that hurt? I didn't mean to do that—-”
“Shh, shut your face,” you patted him on the cheek, giggling at his reaction. 
He adjusted himself on top of you. “Here, make sure you’re head’s on your pillow, I want you to be comfortable.” he adjusted you, too, and he looked so sincere and serious it made you laugh. “Why are you laughing?” he asked, but couldn't help but let out a little chuckle, too. “Stop, this is serious.”
You laughed even more. “Sorry, sorry, you’re just really cute.” you watched his eyes twinkle as he looked at you. “And you look so pretty on top of me.”
He smirked, holding back his giggle. “Stop it.”
“I’m just saying,” you reached a hand out to wrap around his neck, tugging his lips right back down to yours, kissing him softly. “Mhm. I cant get enough of this.”
He smiled into the kiss. “Me neither, I cant believe you’re under me right now.”
You couldn't help the blush that heated your cheeks. You were suddenly aware of his dick against your thighs, of your skin against his. You looked into his eyes, looked at how they were looking at you, how he held himself over you. 
And then, after a look of utter love, he smiled and kissed you. This time, he stuck his tongue into your mouth, running over the ridges of the roof of your mouth. You opened your mouth wider, deepening the kiss, knocking your nose against his. 
His lips parted as he gasped for air, his chest heaved against yours. His hand delicately glided up your ribs, meeting the skin of your breasts. He gripped your breast in his hand, moaning into your mouth, hips bucking into yours. You couldve sworn you felt his heartbeat through his chest as he made out with you, as his hands covered you. He pulled away only to make sure you still wanted this, and when you nodded, he reached down to line himself up with you. The concept of sex always felt so difficult. So worrisome, so new. But with jongho, it felt like you've done this forever.
“If it hurts, tell me,” he whispered against your lips, kissing you gently. “I’ll take care of you.”
You literally couldve came at those words. You swallowed hard, and forced out a nod.
He pecked your lips, smiling, kissing them again. His hands hesitated, not knowing what to touch as his tip pressed into your cunt, his breath shortening, sweat dripping down his forehead.
You reached out, gliding a hand across his cheek, across his lips, smiling up at him.
“I….” he hesitated before entering you. “Are you wet enough? Should I spit?”
He looked terrified. Absolutely terrified. So you ran a hand soothingly through his hair, watching his eyes shut tight in pleasure, in delight. “Don't worry about anything and just do it.”
“Okay,” he mumbled, letting out a little laugh. “Okay, okay.”
And then, his eyes bled into yours as he tilted his hips, pushing his cock slowly into you, so gently, as if he was terrified of hurting you. You watched his mouth part, watched his expression change to euphoria as he filled you, every inch sparking a new feeling. 
He snapped his hips, his length fully in you, and you nearly cried out from the feeling. You moaned as he moved slowly, clawing at his shoulders, this feeling unlike anything else—your damn vibrator held nothing on Jongho.
He relaxed his expression, his eyes fluttering open, looking right down on you. You met his gaze as he moved in and out of you.
“Does it hurt, if it hurts, I can stop—”
“Shut the hell up and fuck me, jongho,” you grumbled, your hands finding a home on his hips, the feeling of them snapping under your hands sent you spiraling. You moaned as his dick reached a new spot, as you felt your walls tighten around him. You wanted to cry out, rip your hair out, tear at his skin as you felt the intense crave for him. The way he looked down on you fueled the fire in your hips, in your back. You felt an ache in your hips, slamming your head back, fighting the urge to claw the bedsheets.
But then you sae his grimace, and you frowned. “Oh my god, you’re knee, you’re in pain.”
He kept moving, but he was definitely in pain. “I-I think the meds wore off—”
Without thinking, you pushed him off you, making him roll over so now he was the one on th bottom. You straddled him, looking at his shocked expression, how his breaths quickened, how his cock twitched for you. To be inside you. 
You had an unimaginable amount of knowledge from all your smutty books, so you might as well try to use what you know, right?
“y/n, what are you—”
“Let me please you,” you breathed, and with a slow, calculative movement, you sat on his dick, sliding his length into you, once again gaining the extreme pleasure of his expression and the absolute desperation he expressed. He gasped as you moved up and down on his cock, and he watched you, watched him dissapear into you. He slammed his head back into the pillow, his face contorting, moans fluttering through his lips, his eyebrows knitting together in pleasure and a million other things.
“God, fuck,” his hands gripped your hips as you rode him, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, his breaths shallow. He gasped for air. “You feel so good, oh my god. So fucking good.”
You tossed your head back, resting your hands on his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin, the smoothness of it. He blinked up at you, a smile on his lips, completely in bliss.
He moved his hands with you, nearly lifting you up as you moved on his cock, moved on his body. You forgot how strong he was.
“You sure you’ve never done this?” he gasped, his eyes shut tight. “Because fuck, this is better than I ever imagined.”
You smiled down on him, giddy at his words. You moved even faster, causing him to moan, and moan, and moan.
You didn't even know what to say—you just enjoyed his little commentary as he took you in, his gaze dripping like honey.
“Godamn,” he hissed, eyes meeting yours. He looked frantic. “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he seethed, hips slamming up into yours. “Fuck, you’re so hot, so so hot.”
You felt him twitch inside you, felt your walls collapse. You began to see spots in your vision as he moved his hips, too, just as you were. You felt so much pride as he looked absolutely pathetic underneath you, his gaze hazy, his lips bright red from your kisses.
“I love you, I…love you,” he hissed out. “I love you.”
You reached your climax just from looking at him, crying out in a moan, leaning forward over his body. His hands flooded all over you, sending sparks at every touch, every spot of your body. And when you came, when you felt the rush of cum, the rush of the high finally hit, you continued to move as he did. Then, suddenly, his eyes grew so wide, he lifted you off his cock hastily, gasping for air.
You leaned back on his legs, onto your heels, trying to breathe, trying to see, as his hands grasped his own dick, moving up and down before he came, his cum shooting onto you, over your chest, your boobs, your stomach. You watched him gasp as it happened, his lips curling up in an embarrassed smile.
“Oh, oops,” he laughed, looking absolutely delectable with the hair stuck to his forehead and his eyes wide with pleasure. “Totally meant to do that….”
Something burned under your skin, something foreign, something you never felt before. You’ve only read about this feeling, this moment. But now, here you were. You just had sex, sex with your best friend, and it was the best thing you’ve ever felt before. You needed more, so so much more.
“Please tell me we can do that again,” you breathed, falling onto him, sticking to him, feeling the beat of his heart as you pressed your ear to his chest.
“Oh, fuck yes,” his hand wrapped around you, holding you to him. He pressed a gentle, exasperated his to the top of your head. “You don't even have to ask that, i’m planning on doing that all night.”
You moved a bit so you could lay against his side, totally forgetting about the cum on you that now got all over the place. “You seemed like you knew what you were doing for a virgin,” you side eyed him. “You have to be lying.”
He smirked, a light blush on his cheeks. “Uh, well,” he swallowed, eyes looking all over your face. “I mean, I have been thinking about what I would do if I ever got to sleep with you.”
You furrowed your brows. “You’re so cheesy.”
“Well I didn't get to do exactly what I wanted,” he looked down at your lips, at your body pressed to his. “Because of my damn knee, but,” he pressed a kiss to your nose. “That means we have to do this again.”
“Oh, baby,” you pinched his cheek. “We’ll be doing this way more than we probably should.”
He smiled, that blush still on his face, across his nose. He looked so beautiful, so so pretty, it actually hurt you to look at him.
You kissed him, kissed his lips, his nose, his flushed cheeks. 
And you looked at him, at his eyes, the same eyes you’ve known forever. 
“I love you, Jongho.”
The next morning, you parted ways with a sleepy jongho, late for your early class. You couldn't stop thinking about him all day, that is, until you ran into Mingi and San in the library cafe.
Mingi grinned like the cheshire cat, an eye smile brighter than the sun. “Well, hello there, you.”
You rolled your eyes as the line for the coffee moved. San and Mingi stood behind you, giggling like little kids.
“So, Jongho didn't come back last night,” San started, and you quickly cut in.
“So? He always stays in my room, its not anything odd—”
“Oh, sweetie,” Mingi crossed his arms, grinning. “But it is odd.”
“Why?” you crossed your arms, too, facing him. San stood by with a little chuckle.
“Because he came back to the room before his class and his jersey was on inside out—”
“So? He likes to sleep shirtless—”
“His lips were covered in red lipstick—”
“I don't know what you were talking about—”
“Oh, and he told me that he had sex with you—”
You slammed a hand against San’s mouth, giving him a death glare while mingi giggled like a school girl. You grimaced, pulling your hand away. “Shut up, or i’ll make you.”
“Ooh, so scary,” San waved his hands in the air dramatically. “Anyway, are you dating him now? You better date him, he’s been dreaming of that for so long.”
You blinked. “I mean, we said we loved each other, but nothing about dating….”
Mingi smirked. “Welp, guess you better go figure that out.”
After class, you found yourself in front of Jongho’s door, a shake in your breath as you knocked. He opened the door, shirtless, a smile on his face the minute he met your gaze.
And then he grabbed you by the waist and planted a big kiss onto your lips, smiling into it, and then pulled away.
“Hi,” you smiled.
“Hi.” he tilted his head, looking you up and down.
“I heard you told San everything.”
He bit his lip. “Was I supposed to keep it to myself?”
You shook your head, smiling.
“Do you want to come in?” he hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Mhm,” you nodded, following him in.
The minute the door shut, Jongho slammed you up against it, swallowing you whole with his mouth as he kissed you. His hands gripped the side of your head, tugging at your hair, causing you to let out a hiss. He took the opportunity of your open mouth to shove his tongue into you, exploring your mouth with pleasure. He moaned into you, and you couldn't help but moan yourself.
His hands gripped your thighs, lifting you up, slamming your back into the door as he held you to him. He then started to walk towards his bed, but you realized his injury.
“Jongho, you’re leg,” you breathed with worry, trying to get him to put you down. “You’ll hurt yourself—”
“Shut up,” he spoke into your mouth, indeed shutting you up immediately. You sighed as he kissed you, as he touched you. He gently set you down onto his bed, and you went under his duvet since he kept his room like an icebox. 
He followed you suit, crawling on top of you under the covers, but you had a better idea. Once again, you flipped him so he was on his back, and with one quick look at the shock in his gaze, you kissed his collarbone, then his chest, down his sternum, over the soft muscle of his stomach. You slowly pulled his pants down over his cock, his underwear along with them.
You felt his muscles tighten underneath your lips, you heard his breath hitch as you moved lower and lower, until your lips met the soft skin of his hard cock. He gasped his hands searching for you under the covers, his legs moving in pleasure as you licked his tip.
“Oh my…oh…” he arched his back against your kiss, your hands holding onto his hips as you surrounded your mouth around his erection. He thrashed against you, absolutely liquid in your embrace.
But before you could take him fully, the door of his room opened, and in came san blabbing about god knows what.
You quickly moved, trying to lay flat the best you could to hide. Jongho sat up fast, pulling the blanket up and bunching it around his dick, making sure it wasn't so obvious that you were under there….and that he was literally throbbing hard.
“I ran into y/n earlier, she admitted to it!” san roared, and you assumed he was taking his shoes off considering the sound. “Good for you buddy, I know how long you wanted to tap that—”
“Ah, yeah,” Jongho awkwardly laughed. You wish you could see the look on his face, the embarrassment. Just how long did he want you?
You couldn't help but stroke your hand against his dick, causing him to gasp.
“You alright?” San questioned, now making his way to the other side of the room. 
You continued to rub him. Jongho gripped the blanket tight.
“Peachy,” Jongho grunted.
San didn't speak for a while.
“Are you gonna finally ask her out?”
You paused.
Jongho sighed. “Huh?” he was totally out of it.
“I mean, you’ve been in love with y/n for ages, you might as well make if official while you can.”
“Am I?” Jongho swallowed hard. “Am I in love with her?”
“Ah shut up, you know it,” San scoffed,and a bed creaked—assumingly his. You decided to continue to suck Jongho off, taking him in your mouth, causing him to jolt.
“I uh, i’ll ask her out later,” Jongho took in a breath. “But, um, do you think you could….you know, give me a moment?”
“A moment, why—”San paused, then gasped. “Are you beating your meat right now? Oh fuck man, my bad!”
You nearly cackled against Jongho at the way they conversed with each other, how normal it seemed. It made you wonder how often this happened, how often Jongho did this to himself, how many times he thought about you while doing it…
That turned you on even more.
The minute you heard the door shut, you tossed the covers over your head, meeting Jongho’s shocked, mind-boggled expression.
“Jeez, y/n, fuck,” he couldn't help but smile as he looked at you, as you sucked him. “You’re a freak.”
“Well, you should see the things I read,” you chuckled, and then licked up the column of his cock, causing him to take hold of your head.
He shoved you up and down on his dick, his fingers tearing into your scalp, causing you to choke on him. He groaned, moaned, hummed every note possible, and then without warning, he came into your mouth, his body going still, his eyes open wide as he watched you swallow his load.
Oh, he tasted better than you ever imagined. 
His saltiness still coated your lips as you leaned over to kiss him, his eyes lost in you. He looked so in love, so in lust, in everything.
“Are you gonna ask me out?” you asked in between kisses.
“Mhm,” he leaned into your kiss, not wanting to break apart. 
“Are we dating now?”
Kiss.
He blinked, looking up at you. His smile defined beauty, his lips desire. 
“If you’d like.”
“Of course.”
You kissed him once more, wrapping your arms around his neck, rolling around in bed with him. He chuckled, smiled, nuzzled his head into you. 
“I have practice,” you kissed his cheek, trying to get up, but his arms wrapped around you, holding you to him. “I have to go.”
“One more minute,” he mumbled into your ear as he nibbled it, then kissed it. “Just a minute.”
You smiled. “Okay, fine, I guess I can spare a minute.”
He held you, breathed in your scent, his scent on your lips. He didn't let go, even after the minute, and you hand to force yourself out of his hold.
“Meet me in my room tonight?” you raised a brow,
He nodded. “Of fucking course.”
You quickly tried to fix your hair up, tucking it behind your ears, before you gave your boyfriend a wink while you walked out.
And, funny enough, when you shut the door behind you and turned around, San stood there, smirking devilishly.
“Well damn, when’s it my turn?”
1K notes · View notes
byooregard · 19 days
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iwtv universe dashboard simulator
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girlmand reblogged
😶‍🌫️gaysexinthecity Follow
not saying vampires are real but i think Daniel Molloy gets way too much shit . like if i was a pulitzer prize winning journalist in my seventies and some guy called me and was like im a vampire want an interview i wouldn't hesitate either. fuck man sure tell me about being a vampire. i'll believe you
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🎆 magical-swiftie
reading Interview with the Vampire rn and Claudia and Madeline are sooo Long Face core
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#now that i think of it a lot of tvl's songs fit this book really well #like #'she gave me life I gave her death'??? # that's so them!!!
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🏞️ girlblogg1ng
btw if you're still listening to the vampire lestat, unfollow me now. and like, seriously consider why you're giving plays to a guy who appropriates ancient egyptian history for his vampire schtick, it's honestly sickening
#the vampire lestat #tvl #maintagging because people need to see this honestly #.txt
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🌄sampire
keep seeing ppl try to cancel tvl for things hes said to his fans or how he talks about ancient egyptian mythology and not that song where he talks about fucking his mother. like im not crazy right he wrote a whole song about how he fucked his mother
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💟 stingorarr
"we are your children/but what do you give us/is your silence/a better gift than the truth?" sounds like it should be some ancient Greek poetry but it's literally in a song by the vampire lestat!!!
it just hits so hard... like your parents gave you nothing but maybe the truth would be more unbearable than silence...
#tvl #the vampire lestat #twmbk #those who must be kept
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sampire reblogged danielmxllxy
🌫️ beatlesrpf Follow
please tell me you guys arent serious about the vampire lestat. please tell me youre not stanning a man who wrote "im an actor in my makeup, i get fatter when we break up"
#guys please #this is worse than the tortured poets department
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🤖 carrieblogging Follow
Based on your likes!
Hey, Tumblr, I need a little help here?
So, my best friend has been acting a little weird lately. Like, his sleep schedule has gotten really strange (stranger than normal 😅), and I haven't seen him without sunglasses on in a week?
His diet has changed, too, like he used to always be snacking whenever I'd call him, but now he doesn't eat anything that I can see.
He even cancelled our tickets to ComicCon!! I've been waiting to meet up with him for years, and now he's just bailed on me?!? I'm mad, but honestly more worried than anything....
#carrie speaks
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🌌 marbellina124
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guys I think I've found the vampire Armand at the MET 😏😂
#it doesn't match the dates from the book so like #yeah #but imagine.... #parisian mutuals you have a power that can be used
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interview-with-the-glampire reblogged wormyworms
🪱 wormyworms Follow
mmm tbh the only reason i *don't* believe vampires are real is because if *i* was interviewing two vampires to write a book about their life? i would not be leaving that house without their fangs in my neck and eternal life. just saying
🌇 interview-with-the-glampire
understandable but have you considered. if I went to interview two vampires and got immortality and vampire sex out of that deal I wouldn't go around letting everyone know :/
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danielmxllxy reblogged sampire
🌌 marbellina124
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so were all in agreement he fucked that vampire right
#oh I think he fucked AT LEAST two of those vampires #iwtv #rb
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denimbex1986 · 9 months
Text
'...“It’s fun playing bad, but actually he’s not,” the actor says, smiling as he reflects on his character, Crowley. “He’s a villain with a heart. The amount of really evil things he does are vanishingly small.”
...As it always has, “Good Omens” dissects the view of good and evil as absolutes, showing viewers that they are not as separate as we were led to believe growing up. Aziraphale and Crowley’s long-standing union is proof of this. The show also urges people to look at what defines our own humanity. For Tennant — who opted to wear a T-shirt emblazoned with the words “Leave trans kids alone you absolute freaks” during a photocall for Season 2 — these themes are more important now than ever before.
“In this society that we’re currently living in, where polarization seems ever more present, fierce and difficult to navigate. Negotiation feels like a dirty word at times,” he says, earnestly. “This is a show about negotiation. Two extremes finding common ground and making their world a better place through it. Making life easier, kinder and better. If that’s the sort of super objective of the show, then I can’t think of anything more timely, relevant or apt for the rather fractious times we’re living in.”
“Good Omens” is back by popular demand for another season. How does it feel?
It’s lovely. Whenever you send something out into the world, you never quite know how it will land. Especially with this, because it was this beloved book that existed, and that creates an extra tension that you might break some dreams. But it really exploded. I guess we were helped by the fact that we had Neil Gaiman with us, so you couldn’t really quibble too much with the decisions that were being made. The reception was, and continues to be, overwhelming.
Now that you’re no longer bound by the original material that people did, perhaps, feel a sense of ownership over, does the new content for Season 2 come with a sense of freedom for you? This is uncharted territory, of sorts.
That’s an interesting point. I didn’t know the book when I got the script. It was only after that I discovered the worlds of passion that this book had incited. Because I came to it that way, perhaps it was easier. I found liberation from that, to an extent. For me, it was always a character that existed in a script. At first, I didn’t have that extra baggage of expectation, but I acquired it in the run-up to Season 1 being released… the sense that suddenly we were carrying a ming vase across a minefield.
In Season 2, we still have Neil and we also have some of the ideas that he and Terry had discussed. During the filming of the first one, Neil would drop little hints about the notions they had for a prospective sequel, the title of which would have been “668: The Neighbour of the Beast,” which is a pretty solid gag to base a book around. Indeed there were elements like Gabriel and the Angels, who don’t feature in the book, that were going to feature in a sequel. They were brought forward into Season 1. So, even in the new episodes, we’re not entirely leaving behind the Terry Pratchett-ness of it all.
It’s great to see yourself and Michael Sheen reunited on screen as these characters. Fans will have also watched you pair up for Season 3 of “Staged.” You’re quite the dynamic duo. What do you think is the magic ingredient that makes the two of you such a good match?
It’s a slightly alchemical thing. We knew each other in passing before, but not well. We were in a film together [“Bright Young Things,” 1993] but we’d never shared a scene. It was a bit of a roll of the dice when we turned up at the read-through for “Good Omens.” I think a lot comes from the writing, as we were both given some pretty juicy material to work with. Those characters are beloved for a reason because there’s something magical about them and the way they complete each other. Also, I think we’re quite similar actors in the way we like to work and how we bounce off each other.
Does the shorthand and trust the two of you have built up now enable you to take more risks on-screen?
Yes, probably. I suppose the more you know someone, the more you trust someone. You don’t have to worry about how an idea might be received and you can help each other out with a more honest opinion than might be the case if you were, you know, dancing around each other’s nervous egos. Enjoying being in someone’s orbit and company is a positive experience. It makes going to work feel pleasant, productive, and creative. The more creative you can be, the better the work is. I don’t think it’s necessarily a given that an off-screen relationship will feed into an on-screen one in a positive or negative way. You can play some very intimate moments with someone you barely know. Acting is a peculiar little contract, in that respect. But it’s disproportionately pleasurable going to work when it’s with a mate.
Fans have long discussed the nature of Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship. In Season 2, we see several of the characters debate whether the two are an item, prompting them to look at their union and decipher what it is. How would you describe their relationship?
They are utterly co-dependent. There’s no one else having the experience that they are having and they’ve only got each other to empathize with. It’s a very specific set of circumstances they’ve been dealt. In this season, we see them way back at the creation of everything. They’ve known each other a long time and they’ve had to rely on each other more and more. They can’t really exist one without the other and are bound together through eternity. Crowley and Aziraphale definitely come at the relationship with different perspectives, in terms of what they’re willing to admit to the relationship being. I don’t think we can entirely interpret it in human terms, I think that’s fair to say.
Yet fans are trying to do just that. Do you view it as beyond romantic or any other labels, in the sense that it’s an eternal force?
It’s lovely [that fans discuss it] but you think, be careful what you wish for. If you’re willing for a relationship to go in a certain way or for characters to end up in some sort of utopian future, then the story is over. Remember what happened to “Moonlighting,” that’s all I’m saying! [Laughs]
Your father-in-law, Peter Davison, and your son, Ty Tennant, play biblical father-and-son duo Job and Ennon in Episode 2. In a Tumblr Q&A, Neil Gaiman said that he didn’t know who Ty’s family was when he cast him. When did you become aware that Ty had auditioned?
I don’t know how that happened. I do a bunch of self-tapes with Ty, but I don’t think I did this one with him because I was out of town filming “Good Omens.” He certainly wasn’t cast before we started shooting. There were two moments during filming where Neil bowled up to me and said, “Guess, who we’ve cast?” Ty definitely auditioned and, as I understand it, they would tell me, he was the best. I certainly imagine he could only possibly have been the best person for the job. He is really good in it, so I don’t doubt that’s true. And then my father-in-law showed up, as well, which was another delicious treat. In the same episode and the same family! It was pretty weird. I have worked with both of them on other projects, but never altogether.
There’s a “Doctor Who” cameo, of sorts, in Episode 5, when Aziraphale uses a rare annual about the series as a bartering tool. In reality, you’ll be reprising your Time Lord role on screen later this year in three special episodes to mark the 60th anniversary. Did you always feel you’d return to “Doctor Who” at some point?
There’s a precedent for people who have been in the series to return for a multi-doctor show, which is lovely. I did it myself for the 50th anniversary in 2013, and I had a wonderful time with Matt [Smith]. Then, to have John Hurt with us, as well, was a little treat. But I certainly would never have imagined that I’d be back in “Doctor Who” full-time, as it were, and sort of back doing the same job I did all those years ago. It was like being given this delightful, surprise present. Russell T Davies was back as showrunner, Catherine Tate [former on-screen companion] was back, and it was sort of like the last decade and a half hadn’t happened.
Going forward, Ncuti Gatwa will be taking over as the new Doctor. Have you given him any advice while passing the baton?
Oh God, what a force of nature. I’ve caught a little bit of him at work and it’s pretty exciting. I mean, what advice would you give someone? You can see Ncuti has so much talent and energy. He’s so inspired and charismatic. The thing about something like this is: it’s the peripherals, it’s not the job. It’s the other stuff that comes with it, that I didn’t see coming. It’s a show that has so much focus and enthusiasm on it. It’s not like Ncuti hasn’t been in a massive Netflix series [“Sex Education,”] but “Doctor Who” is on a slightly different level. It’s cross-generational, international, and has so much history, that it feels like it belongs to everyone.
To be at the center of the show is wonderful and humbling, but also a bit overwhelming and terrifying. It doesn’t come without some difficulties, such as the immediate loss of anonymity. It takes a bit of getting used to if that’s not been your life up to that point. I was very lucky that when I joined, Billie Piper [who portrayed on-screen companion, Rose] was still there. She’d lived in a glare of publicity since she was 14, so she was a great guide for how to live life under that kind of scrutiny. I owe a degree of sanity to Billie.
Your characters are revered by a few different fandoms. Sci-fi fandoms are especially passionate and loyal. What is it like being on the end of that? I imagine it’s a lot to hold.
Yes, certainly. Having been a fan of “Doctor Who” since I was a tiny kid, you’re aware of how much it means because you’re aware of how much it meant to you. My now father-in-law [who portrayed Doctor Who in the 80s] is someone I used to draw in comic strips when I was a kid. That’s quite peculiar! It’s a difficult balance because on one end, you have to protect your own space, and there aren’t really any lessons in that. That does take a bit of trial and error, to an extent, and it’s something that you’re sometimes having to do quite publicly. But, it is an honor and a privilege, without a doubt. As you’ve said, it means so much to people and you want to be worthy of that. You have to acknowledge that and be careful with it. Some days that’s tough, if you’re not in the mood.
I know you’re returning to the stage later this year to portray Macbeth. You’ve previously voiced the role for BBC Sounds, but how are you feeling about taking on the character in the theater?
I’m really excited about it. It’s been a while since I’ve done Shakespeare. It’s very thrilling but equally — and this analogy probably doesn’t stretch — it’s like when someone prepares for an Olympic event. It does feel like a bit of a mountain and, yeah, you’re daring to set yourself up against some fairly worthy competition from down the years. That’s both the challenge and the horror of doing these types of things. We’ve got a great director, Max Webster, who recently did “Life of Pi.” He’s full of big ideas. It’s going to be exciting, thrilling, and a little bit scary. I’m just going to take a deep breath.
Before we part ways, let’s discuss the future of “Good Omens.” Gaiman has said that he already has ideas for Season 3, should it happen. If you were to do another season, is there anyone in particular you’d love to work with next time around or anything specific you’d like to see happen for Crowley?
Oh, Neil Gaiman knows exactly where he wants to take it. If you’re working with people like Gaiman, I wouldn’t try to tamper with that creative void. Were he to ask my opinion, that would be a different thing, but I can’t imagine he would. He’s known these characters longer than me and what’s interesting is what he does with them. That’s the bit that I’m desperate to know. I do know where Crowley might end up next, but it would be very wrong if I told you.
[At this point, Tennant picks up a pencil and starts writing on a hotel pad of paper.]
I thought you were going to write it down for me then. Perhaps like a clandestine meeting on a bench in St James’ Park, but instead you’d write the information down and slide it across the table…
I should have done! I was drawing a line, which obviously, psychologically, I was thinking, “Say no more. You’re too tempted to reveal a secret!” It was my subconscious going “Shut the fuck up!”
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moonastro · 5 months
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Juno persona chart
venus in the houses
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what is a juno persona chart? looking into juno persona chart gives more detailed insight of how the relationship and marriage overall of you and your spouse will be like. it also describes them in a sense as well. The Greek Goddess Juno is described to rule over love and marriage and hence why the asteroid is looked into for that theme.
venus represents beauty, aesthetics and values. within the juno persona chart, venus signifies the love within the marriage, relationship style and the beauty that comes along in the marriage.
reminder: this is my interpretation from observations and first hand experiences, so don't take this to heart.
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**also this can also be used for signs as well, for example if venus in persona chart is in sagittarius, read what applies to the 9th house as it may resonate as well.
venus in 1st house: lots of embodying of one another. quite literal the definition of worshiping your partner. this placements loves their partners independence, courage and fiery aura. this placement is very protective and encouraging of their partner, they act as if they are their soldier, their guard. are quick to act upon when their spouse needs attention of any kind, are always willing to put their partner first. this placement may love how their partner matches their vibe very well but keeping their identity and staying true to themselves at the same time. they lovee their partner body, yes the appearance may play a big part here also and loving how their spouse looks and presents themselves but its more how they do it and not what they see at that moment if that makes sense.
spouse can have natal venus in aries, 1st house, fire sign or fire house.
venus in 2nd house: this placements way of showing love to their spouse can be by cooking a home cooked meal, buying tiny meaningful gifts to them also. can also be by organising a comfort space for their loved one after they are having a bad day or had a hard day at work. the aesthetic of the marriage is very chill, the couple have a comforting aura towards each other, they can be each others comfort space. income is valued amongst themselves and money matters a lot to this placement. this placement may spoil their spouse and may have a mindset of its only acceptable if i spend lots of money on the person that i love in order to show that i truly love them. this placement may value objects and may have a collection of some sort that they keep, perhaps its crystals, books, scarfs, earrings etc etc whatever it is it is very special to this placement and it is very appreciated when others acknowledge their love for objects and even better when someone adds to their collection.
spouse can have natal venus in taurus, 2nd house, earth sign or earth house.
venus in 3rd house: love is very much shown by hobbies and words. lots of words of affirmation 'you look beautiful today', 'i love you' and so on. lots of strolls through the neighbourhood and doing things and spending time within the neighbourhood. for example the couple could easily just go out on a walk around their neighbourhood and go on a creative venture. sharing love through buying latest technologies and sharing some technical skills to each other, it may be internet influenced approaches as well like going online shopping or buying majority of house items from online. the couples may value the arts of writing and their relationship with ones siblings, perhaps this placement has a solid connection with their siblings and may be a big part of their life and perhaps the other also has good relations with their spouses siblings and so forth.
spouse may have natal venus in gemini, 3rd house, air sign or air house.
venus in 4th house: love between the couple is caring, sensitive and very protective. this placement tends to be very protective of their spouse and almost to the point of they'll do anything for them. literally if their spouse gets upset they get upset and want to fix it. nothing is more important to them than them being happy. the couple value their family traditions and most likely will pass it on onto their kids and will make sure to teach their kids the importance of their homeland and heritage. this placement may love how invested their partner is about their ancestry and is always wanting to find themselves. the couple may connect by relating to they way they were brought up and may agree on many things. this placement may have good relations with their family and therefore may appreciate their spouse doing the same. the aesthetic of their home is very important for this placement, it provides not only comfort but a chance for them to create special memories that they'll remember forever and pass it on for generations to come.
spouse may have natal venus in cancer, 4th house, water sign or water house.
venus in 5th house: this placement may love how fun, independent, well spoken and creative their spouse is. the love between the couple are seen by many, they are not afraid to show their love to each other in public and are proud to show off their partner to other people. the aesthetics in this relationship may be part of an entertainment business, lots of creativity in this marriage, arts, singing, dancing, writing, anything that requires to be creative is valued among each party and may be a very important part of their identity and who they are. this placement enjoys pleasure so expect them to get their way and no other, this placement will do anything in order for them to feel satisfactory and the same goes with their partner, they may want only the best for their partner and will go all out for them to make sure they are happy and satisfied. this placement may enjoy intimacy like no other, being intimate in their eyes is art itself, it connects both parties and this placement may find it beautiful how the whole thing plays out.
spouse may have natal venus in leo, 5th house, fire sign or fire house.
venus in 6th house: this couples way of showing love is definitely through acts of service, this placement is ready to literally do anything for their spouse just to show how much they love them. taking care of their spouse is how they express their love for them for example if they are sick in bed or, if they are back from a long day in work and so forth. this placement may romanticise their lifestyle and put in as much effort into it in order to satisfy their needs and their partners. this also may refer to loving their other half's flaws and insecurities, being in love for who they are and not what they are, not caring what may be wrong with them as others may put it. this placement may provide and show love by factoring lots of labour for their partner also which quite literally can mean that they may perform services for their spouse whether its doing what they ask, going out of their way to do extra work for instance when it may not necessarily be needed.
spouse may have natal venus in virgo, 6th house, earth sign or earth house.
venus in 7th house: the love shared between the couple is romantic, everlasting type of love, the love you see of an long lasting marriage of an elderly couple. the couple may express their love through physical touch like holding hands, hugging, holding onto your arm and so on and anything that requires skin to skin contact. i feel this placement also loves to keep their peace and keep everything within the relationship fair. the aesthetic of the relationship may be very peaceful and full of luxurious items in the home, so the home can be very organised and every single item is picked out precisely to the tee. they love to go out shopping for the tiny luxurious things such as perfume testing or going to shop for artistic supplies. this placement loves when their partner goes all out for them and drops everything for them, the definition of having their full attention.
spouse may have natal venus in libra, 7th house, air sign or air house.
venus in 8th house: love can be shared in secret, i feel like with this placement they show love to each other privately so the public may not see that side of the marriage. the sign its in can tell how the couple may express it privately, so for example in aquarius, there may be lots on and off moments. the couple may get along when it comes to shared money so they may get along more when one one gets a bonus at their work, or if they got extra money and so on. this couple may not be seen in public together either, whether its due to each others work schedule or their routines, most of the time they keep it low. may appreciate when their partner trusts them especially when they open up about their trauma and difficulties in life.
spouse may have natal venus in scorpio, 8th house, water sign or water house.
venus in 9th house: love is shown through interest in topics in what their spouse has to say, for example if they have learned a new thing and they share it with their spouse and this placement is in full attention mode in order to show their full interest in what their other half has to say. this placement reminds me of 'did you know this' and 'did you know that' sort of thing, always sharing what they know to their spouse. this couple may value their higher education and are proud of their success in that field. this placement has a special spot for journeys and if their spouse takes them on a journey they will take that as in that they love them. they love it whenever what they say or teach to their spouse how they use that knowledge and share it with other people, this placement appreciates it and its a sign in their eyes that their partner believes and trusts them.
spouse may have natal venus in sagittarius, 9th house, fire sign or fire house.
venus in 10th house: the couple show their love by working hard and proving themselves to beyond expectations over and over again just to prove how much their spouse means to them. reputation has a lot of value, so this placement will spend lots of money to make sure their partner looks the best and feels the best. they may love it when they are exposed to others and them seeing the love that they have for each other. the couple appreciates the maturity of one another in professional situations, they know when to draw the line when it comes to professional titles. this placement loves and is proud of their partners career choices, they find it very motivating. this couple may like to show off lots, their luxury, their home, their cars, anything that may require competition, they like being on top as it shows their validity as respectful human beings.
spouse may have natal venus in capricorn, 10th house, earth sign or earth house.
venus in 11th house: the love between the two is known amongst social groups, everyone knows them as the couple. this couple may be role models and may be know online (the sign in which venus is in can tell you why, for example if in cancer the internet may view how caring one is for each other and how protective and family oriented they are and so forth). this placement may love how their partner is independent, how different they are from other people so they may feel like they hit the jackpot with their spouse. the relationship may be filled with lots of unconventional things and find beauty in those areas in their lives such as roles that are not usually done in a traditional way, they have their own way of finding the glam and beauty in their marriage, different from the stereotype couples.
spouse may have natal venus in aquarius, 11th house, air sign or air house.
venus in 12th house: the couples way of showing love to each other is dreamy and can make the other nearly read ones mind and make their desires of the way they want to be loved come true which makes it feel like their dreams have came true. but on the other hand there is lots of creativity in this marriage, lots of ethereal aesthetic and lots of desires to make their partners dream come true, so with this placements there is most likely going to be lots of travel surprises such as them buying a ticket and saying to their spouse 'yeah, we are going to this place in two days so get ready' but it might be a dream destination for their spouse. others may view this relationship to be a dream come true, there may be lots of illusions for other people that this marriage is perfect. this placement may love how creative, imaginative and out of this world their spouse is, perhaps their spouse is someone they have always dreamed off and they are the perfect representation of their perfect one.
spouse may have natal venus in pisces, 12th house, water sign or water house.
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thank you so much for your time, i hope you have a good day like always>
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harryspet · 6 months
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bambi eyes (6) r.cameron
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[Warnings] soft!dark!rafe cameron x reader, daddy!rafe x little!reader older!rafe, crimeboss!rafe, DUBCON, dd/lg, sugar daddy rafe, spoiling kink, unprotected sex, forced? age regression. little editing, barry doing barry things 18+ READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
A/N: Enjoy!
word count: 4.5k
In which your Daddy finally takes you to the country club.
masterlist
You were reading—slowly but surely. You took each sentence of the chapter book word by word, sounding out each syllable until it made sense to you. With a pink highlighter, you marked over every word you didn’t know the meaning of. You’d ask Rafe about those later or spend some time flipping through the dictionary. You flipped around in the cloud of linens you called a bed, attempting to find another comfortable position. You were reading about a girl with cat-like superpowers and the adventures she went on with her pet cats. 
Lana had told you about all the stray cats she feeds out by her house and how a lot of them will let her pet them once they’ve been around her long enough. You’ve been doing your absolute best to stay on Rafe’s good side, knowing the next thing you’d ask him was if he’d let you get a cat. You knew there were plenty out there that needed good homes, just like you did at one point. 
You didn’t ask him to take you anywhere unless he invited you. And after that lady had that outburst at the grocery store with him, his invites became less frequent. Every week, he took you to ballet practice and straight home. You reminded yourself to be grateful even for that experience since it kept your boredom at bay. When your Daddy called, you came straight away. When he told you to stay in your room, you stayed. When he held your wrist so hard that they bruised, you kept tears from escaping your eyes. When he brought you a present, you thanked him with your words and happily with your mouth. 
A knock at your door caused you to sit up straight. You didn’t ever need to respond with “come in,” as the knock was just a warning that he was coming in, not a request. Rafe eyed you, the crinkles in his eyes letting you know he needed sleep before he looked down at his expensive gold watch. “If I’m not mistaken, I was invited to a one-o’clock tea party and lunch, and my host has yet to retrieve me.”
You palmed your face, your cheeks heating up. “I lost track of time, sorry.” You closed your book, stood, and straightened out your short gingham dress, “Everything should be ready though. Bunny is dressed. I just need help carrying all the guests.”
Before you could leave your book on the bed, Rafe said, “Bring it. I want you to read me somethin’.”
You agreed although the idea made you nervous. You grabbed Bunny, who was dressed in a matching gingham outfit, and then directed Rafe over to your mountain of stuffed animals. Impressively, he grabbed the six stuffed animals in one fell swoop, “Got ‘em, let’s go.”
Now that it was starting to get nicer outside, Lana suggested turning your tea parties into picnics on the front lawn. She’d laid out a floral linen sheet and placed a beautiful flower centerpiece in the middle, along with a wicker basket. You took your stuffed animals one by one from Rafe’s hand, placing them perfectly along the edge of the sheet, “And you sit here, Daddy,” You directed him and waited for him to get comfortable, “I’ll go get the sweet tea and finger sandwiches!” 
“Don’t run!” Rafe shouted after you as you hurried back into Tannyhill. As soon as you were out of his line of sight, you picked up your speed, looking to find Lana. 
You found Lana in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the array of desserts, “These look beautiful, Lana!” You exclaimed as she finished piping pink icing onto the cupcakes. You opened the fridge to grab the pitcher of sweet tea. “Did you make sure to add extra lemons? He really likes extra lemons-“ 
“Yes, I did, I know,” Lana responded, “Don’t be so worried, it’s just Rafe.” 
You set the pitcher on the counter, taking a deep breath, “He wants to hear me read my book, Lana.”
“So? You’ve been doing so well in our lessons! You sound great to me when you’re reading and you’re only going to get better. The long, fancy words will come later,” She lifted the tray of sandwiches and desserts and you took it into your hands, “You’re a smart girl.” 
“I am?” Lana smiled warmly, making sure you were carefully holding both the pitcher and tray. 
“Yes, you are,” She assured you, “Go enjoy your lunch. Afterward, you’ll help me with the laundry, right?”
You beamed back at her, “Okay, I’ll see you soon.” 
When you made your way back to the front lawn, Rafe was where you left him but his phone was pressed to his ear. As soon as he saw you, he said, “---Everyone has dirt. Everyone has a weakness. Find it. I gotta go, I really don’t want to hear about this shit again.”  You carefully set down the tray and pitcher, Rafe having intense conversations over the phone having become very natural to you. 
Rafe let out an annoyed breath, setting his phone down, “Doesn’t it look delicious, Daddy?” You asked, cutting through the tension. 
Rafe nodded, “It does. This is the highlight of my day,” He admitted, “You’re the highlight of my day, Bambi.” 
Your nervousness slowly turned into eagerness as Rafe looked at you. He always looked at you like you were something precious, even if you felt the opposite, and you found that you could easily be yourself around him. Although it seemed you were figuring out who you were every day that you were at Tannyhill. 
You poured Rafe’s drink into an antique-looking glass, one that Lana had entrusted you with taking care of, “Made just how you like it,” You handed it to him and promptly began to hand out the rest of the dishware, making sure Bunny and your stuffed animals had tiny replicas of them. With small tongs, you carefully placed sandwiches on your and Rafe’s plates, “I like pickles now. They aren’t so bad.”
“Oh, thank God,” Rafe responded with his mouth full, already halfway through his first sandwich, “I was really worried there for a second.”
You giggled, “You were worried?”
“I was as soon as you tried one and said you didn’t like it,” Rafe said, which made you laugh more, “This just confirms you’re perfect. And open-minded. And beautiful.”
“Me liking pickles means that I’m beautiful.” You were trying to follow his logic, your cheeks heated in embarrassment, but he interrupted you with a messy kiss.
As you finished up lunch, you found yourself entangled with Rafe, your legs over his lap and leaning against his chest as you opened up your book. You hoped starting with chapter one would make it easier, knowing you’d read it at least five times this morning. Luckily, you now had someone who could tell you the meaning of the words you had the most trouble with. Rafe used the strategy of not only defining the word but using it in an example sentence. 
“Ill-u-min-ate.”
“Every time you walk into a room, you illuminate it with your beauty.” 
“Haz-ar-dous.”
“It would be very hazardous to get between me and my Bambi.”
“Fuh-ruh-strat-ed.”
“Seeing you naked gets me extremely frustrated.”
“I thought you said it meant to angry,” You countered, and you could feel him grinning. 
“Words can mean different things,” He spoke cryptically, “Hey, you know, I’m really impressed with your reading, Bambi.”
You straightened up and turned to look at him, “You mean it?”
“I’m really proud of you,” he nodded. “I wasn’t sure if Lana could help you all on her own, but I think you’re making good progress.” 
You wrapped your arms around him, immediately needing to physically express your satisfaction, your weight effectively toppling the two of you over. Pride was a new feeling that you were getting used to. “Does this mean I could go to a real school? Like in the movies? Maybe law school? Like Elle Woods?” You straddled Rafe, his hands gently exploring the backs of your thighs.
“Are you talking about Legally Blonde?” Rafe’s eyebrows raised, his eyes undoubtedly flashing to a past memory, probably related to his sisters, “Did Lana show you that?”
“It was really good,” You nodded, “How far away is Stanford?”
“Far,” Rafe stated, and you got the feeling he wasn’t explaining as much as he could, “Let’s not  — uh, let’s focus on just reading a chapter book. Once you’re reading like Shakespeare and shit, we can talk about college.” 
“Okay,” You agreed, pressing your nose to his, “How many books do I have to read before we get a kitty cat, Daddy?”
“I see what you did there,” Rafe stared you down. You gave him a mischievous look as you pressed your lower half closer to his. “I think Daddy’s going to need a lot of convincing on that idea as well.”
Your breath hitched in your throat as you felt Rafe’s fingers trailing over your panties, “What can I do to convince you, Rafey?”
You saw the lust in his eyes. That was one nickname he seemed to like even more than Daddy. “Slide those panties to the side and take Daddy’s cock out.”
“But the guards–” You rushed out, and Rafe’s grip tightened on your thighs. 
“You didn’t seem to mind when you climbed on top of me,” Rafe countered, “C’mon, you have to finish what you started, little girl.”
After those words, you tried to ignore the idea of one of Rafe’s men catching a glimpse of what the two of you were doing. You did as Rafe said but as timidly and covertly as possible, sliding your panties to the side and then undoing his zipper. Like Rafe had taught you before, you spit into your hand, rubbing the liquid against your hole and using the rest to lubricate his tip. 
You looked Rafe in the eyes before he could command you to, and Rafe gave you the same proud look that he had on his face when he complimented your reading skills. Rafe sat up on his hands, and as you placed him against your entrance, you made sure the skirt of your gingham dress was fully covering your ass. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you slowly enveloped every inch of him. 
You whimpered into his ear, already feeling overwhelmed. Your thighs burned as you tried to move up and down his length, and you couldn’t help but feel like you were doing it wrong. You and Rafe didn’t often have sex in this position, and if you did, Rafe would just end up pinning your hips in place and thrusting up into you. In this position, you were almost in complete control, and it made each sensation feel even more heightened. 
“Grind into me,” Rafe spoke huskily, “It’ll feel better that way.”
You started to roll your hips against him, and instantly you felt something building within you. With that motion, you could feel your clit rubbing against him. As you controlled the speed and how deep he was inside of you, you adjusted it entirely to your liking, and it surprised you how good you made yourself feel, “You gonna make yourself cum on my cock, Bambi?”
You gave him a shaky nod, “Y-Yes, Daddy.”
“Good girl. Cum for me.”
You whimpered into his ear, suddenly burning up even though you were directly under the sun. “Thank you, thank you,” you muttered breathlessly. “Thank you, Rafey.”
“Look at you,” Rafe said, “My grateful little girl is squeezing me so good. Keep going, baby.”
Rafe squeezed you tightly in his arms like he was hugging you as you felt him fill your insides. “Fuck,” Rafe grunted in your ear, “Didn’t know you were so good at that.”
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Rafe was doing something he promised himself he’d never do. 
Maybe this would’ve been an option at the beginning of their relationship when he wasn’t so attached. The idea of doing this now … every fiber of his being was telling him that this was wrong. “Everybody has a weakness. You told me that, right? I did some digging. Some super fucking deep digging,” Barry had started. 
Atlantic Crest Properties is one of Cameron Development’s biggest rivals both on the island and the mainland. Nathaniel Sterling, the CEO, was one of Ward’s closest friends, but since his death, Rafe had struggled to maintain Nathan’s favor. In fact, he disliked Rafe so much that he was purposely starting to poach Cameron Development’s construction laborers and spreading misinformation about the company’s financial status. 
Rafe had worked hard to dig the company out of debt, and Sterling was preventing future investors from giving the company a chance, “There’s this high-end bar on the mainland that he always visits, placed called the Platinum Parlor. This guy is there every weekend, at least. One of my boys tells me that the place is basically a front for a swingers club. They won’t let you in unless you’re a member, and there’s like secret codes you use to, you know, get access to what you’re looking for.”
“Get to the point, please.”
“Basically, he’s a freak. He always asks for a girl named Venus. My boy was telling me this, and I realized I knew that girl; she used to buy from me. I rode over there looking for her before her shift started, and I offered her some powder for some information. She couldn’t tell me everything, but he’s shown her videos of him doing some stuff, and he always asks that she wear pigtails, a plaid skirt, glasses, the whole school-girl look …” Rafe listened as Barry delved further into all the debauchery he’d heard. 
“...what are you implying, Barry?”
“I’m trying to say you have the perfect tool to solve yo’ problem. This is the only thing the dude gets off on, and I know his wife ain’t home dressing up for him. You have the most innocent girl in the world, and she actually likes wearing her hair in pigtails.”
“I know you’re not telling me I should let him fuck her–”
“No, no, Rafe! I’m saying that you can let him think that he can for as long as you need him to. That’s your in.”
“Fuck, I don’t wanna do that.”
“It wouldn’t be the worst thing you’ve ever done, country club.”
Barry was right about that. 
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You liked the way the Kooks dressed, and they all seemed to exude happiness. They matched and coordinated every piece of their outfits, and even the ones playing sports had at least one piece of expensive-looking jewelry on. 
Rafe’s black polo and khaki shorts were nicely pressed, and he looked every bit like a seasoned golfer. He also gripped the golf cart’s wheel in one hand, carefully and quickly navigating the expansive green course. 
After you made your first stop, Rafe started by showing you the basics of acting as his caddy. He pointed at the clubs he would most likely be using and made you practice grabbing them. He also placed you in charge of keeping up the scorecard, slowly explaining all the numbers you were meant to help keep track of. You quickly learned this was a more complicated game than you imagined, and you weren’t sure how much fun it would actually be to play it.
Still, you were overjoyed that Rafe had even invited you out of the house to the country club, of all places. You spent a total of two hours deciding what to wear that morning until Rafe ultimately made the decision for you, choosing a short-sleeve, collared white dress. He also helped you tame your hair into two high ponytails wrapped in pink bows. As soon as you saw how cute you looked, you made sure to ask Rafe if they made golf dresses in Bunny’s size. 
You watched intently as Rafe stepped up to the first tee, positioning his feet and adjusting his grip on the club with practiced ease. With a smooth swing, he sent the ball soaring through the air, landing neatly on the fairway with a satisfying thud.
“Wow,” Your mouth hung open as you watched, “That was amazing, Rafey!”
“You wanna try it?” 
Hands behind your back, you nervously stepped closer, “Relax,” Rafe said, “I’m gonna help you.”
The actual golf club was much heavier than you were expecting and probably too tall for you, but Rafe adjusted your position accordingly. You felt him pressed against your back, his strong arms enveloping your frame and his hands wrapped around yours. “You’re always going to start with a tight grip, and then it’s all about your stance.” Rafe placed his leg between yours, kicking your feet apart until they were about shoulder-lengths apart, “Bend your knees for me, sweet girl.” 
“This feels … hazardous,” You tried and you felt Rafe’s chest vibrate as he chuckled. 
He stepped back from you, “Try bizarre,” You nodded, mouthing the word quietly, but kept your stance, “But you look great. Now, for the backswing. When you swing, you’re going to keep your arms straight and shoulders relaxed, and I want you to turn your upper half until the club is all the way back.”
You tried to follow his list of instructions, but Rafe ended up grabbing ahold of you again to demonstrate the motion, “You’re going to let the club flow naturally through the ball,” He guided you until you were ready to entirely give it a go, “You got this, Bambi.”
You obeyed Rafe’s final instruction and were surprised that you actually hit the ball, although it landed about five feet in front of you. “Look!” you jumped from excitement. 
“You did it,” Rafe grinned, “Wanna try again?”
You opened your mouth to respond, but your voice trailed off as another golf cart approached. Instinctively, you closed the gap between you and Rafe. 
“Mr. Cameron!” An older gray-haired man, maybe in his 50s, approached, grin hidden partially by a thick mustache, “So lovely of you to grace this fine club with your presence after so many years.”
His deep and commanding voice soon matched his stature as he climbed out of the cart. A shorter, younger man was riding in the passenger side. A gold name tag was pinned to the left side of his chest. “Mr. Sterling,” Rafe greeted back, and you looked up to see a tight, slightly painful grin on his lips. “From what I’ve heard, you frequent this place a little too much. Do they have a reserved parking spot for you yet?”
Mr. Sterling let out a pinched laugh.
“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” 
It was then that the tall man made deep, soul-searching eye contact with you, “Bambi, this is Nathaniel Sterling. He owns Atlantic Crest Properties, which operates here on the island. Nathaniel, this is my girlfriend, Bambi.”
Nathaniel reached out a hand, and you officially felt you’d been thrown into the spotlight. You hadn’t interacted with anyone outside of Tannyhill or your ballet class. Rafe nodded slightly, signaling that it was okay to accept his hand. The man’s grip was strong and calloused.
“It’s nice to meet you, Bambi,” He greeted you. 
“Hi,” You spoke softly, “You do work like Rafe does?”
“Oh, yes, and much better, sweetheart,” You smiled, believing he was trying to make a joke, “I saw your swing on the way up. With some more practice, I can see you becoming a pretty good player.”
“Really?” Your eyes widened. 
“Rafe’s gonna have to get you your own set of clubs,” Nathaniel smirked. “Or maybe you can have my daughter’s since she only uses them sparingly anymore.”
“That would be–” The words came out faster than you could stop them, “That’s a really kind offer, Mr. Sterling.” 
You looked up at Rafe, excited by the offer, “I’m sure I can afford a new set,” Rafe stated. 
“Anyways,” Mr. Sterling coughed to clear the tension, “If the two of you aren’t too exhausted after your game, you should join me at the Steakhouse for an early dinner. Why waste the opportunity for us to catch up.”
You got a similar feeling to when you were around Barry and Rafe, like the two of them were having a conversation with their eyes. Mr. Sterling seemed intimidating, but you couldn’t deny that you wanted to see more of this place. 
“Sound good,” Rafe agreed, which you were grateful for, “We’ll see you there.”
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After playing a few more holes and Rafe finishing your crash course on golf, he started showing you around. There were two Olympic-sized pools, a spa, daycare, and gym, and they even offered horse rides along the beach on special occasions. The two of you explored a women’s boutique—well, you explored it while Rafe had a conversation over the phone with Barry. You noticed Mr. Sterling’s name come up a few times but became distracted when you saw the perfect dress. 
Although you thought Rafe might say it was too fancy for dinner, Rafe immediately called the attendant over so you could try it on. It was princess style, with short sleeves tied with cream-colored ribbons and a skirt flowing out in three tiers. The attendant helped you into the corset, and you were practically locked in by the time you showed Rafe. 
He was already leaning against the payment counter, black card in hand. “We’ll take it; she’s going to wear it out,” he said as you twirled around. “You want anything else?”
“No,” You spoke breathlessly. “This is perfect. Thank you, Rafe!”
Rafe entwined his fingers with yours and held your hand throughout the entire walk to the restaurant. You found Mr. Sterling waiting for you at a table in the corner of the restaurant, with large windows on either side of him that looked out onto the beach. As he waved you over, Rafe leaned down to whisper to you, “You don’t have to say anything or answer any question you don't want to.” 
“Okay,” You said softly, knowing he was just looking out for you. 
“Rafe, Bambi,” He said as the two of you approached. You took the seat closest to the window after Rafe pulled it open for you, “How was the rest of your game?”
Despite the words he just told you, Rafe looked at you first as if he wanted you to answer, “It was really good,” You replied, trying to maintain a certain level of confidence, “I learned a lot and, uhm, the weather was just really perfect today.”
“I agree, it’s a beautiful day, and let me also say how beautiful you look in your dress, Bambi,” You had to glance away, a reflexive gesture to hide the embarrassed gesture that reached your face. You smiled despite the fact that your face was trembling, “It’s new?”
“Y-Yes, thank you. That’s—" You remembered the menu sitting on the table in front of you, and then you realized you were far too nervous at that moment to try to read it. “Do they have ice cream here?” you blurted out. 
Rafe’s lips parted, but Nathaniel interrupted, “I think you’ll be quite happy with the dessert selection. Order whatever you like,” You felt Rafe’s hands suddenly on your thigh. He was trying to hide how tense was, but it wasn’t working. 
When the waiter approached, Rafe ordered for you, which you were grateful for: chicken fingers, mac and cheese, and apple juice. He then went ahead and ordered you a dessert called strawberry crunch ice cream cake. 
Rafe and Nathaniel bantered for a while about business and things related to Kildare that you didn’t fully understand. For the most part, you focused on enjoying your food and addressing Nathaniel whenever he addressed you. Some of your nervousness washed away because the man seemed to smile and laugh in reaction to every word that you said as if you were the most amusing thing in the world. 
Halfway through the dinner, you leaned over to whisper in Rafe’s ear. 
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“I need to go potty.”
Rafe nodded before pointing across the restaurant where he knew the bathroom was, “It’s over there. Go straight there and come back, please,” Rafe felt you squeeze his hand before you got up from your seat. 
Usually, he’d love to watch you walk away, but his eyes were entirely fixed on Nathaniel, who was watching you intently. 
“She’s quite … cute,” the man said sincerely, as if he were thinking deeply. “She’s so pure … hard to believe she was a whore when you found her.”
Rafe squinted, nodding his head, “She was never a whore, Nathaniel.”
“She knows how to fuck, doesn’t she?” 
“She comes from unfortunate circumstances, yes, but I’d appreciate it – greatly – if you didn’t call her that,” Rafe tone was sharp as he leaned closer, elbows on the table, “I really want to work something out with you, Nathaniel, but you’re not going to treat me like I’m just Ward’s son. I want something from you, and you want something from me. I’ll respect you if you treat me the same.”
“You’ve grown attached,” Nathaniel seemed to brush off Rafe’s intensity, “I apologize. Really, I’ve spent a short time with her, and I’m already quite enamored. I admire you, Rafe. You’ve trained her quite nicely.”
“She’s a good girl,” Rafe tried to set his emotions aside, and the feelings he had about you that seemed to make him go crazy. He needed to be cold. He needed to be the Rafe who’s able to pull a trigger and not feel any remorse, “She’s under tight lock and key. She’s under my watch, and I know exactly where she is 24/7.”
“Cameras?” Nathaniel’s interest peaked. 
“In her playroom,” Rafe shrugged.
“Huh,” The man’s jaw clicked, “I want pictures and videos, at the very least.”
This is what Rafe wanted but he couldn’t help but feel pause. The man in front of him was desperate. He could own Nathaniel with the knowledge he was giving up and the secrets that you could probably draw from in. It was dangerous involving you, but what Barry said was true, you were going to open doors for him. 
“At the very least?”
“Yeah, everything after that we can negotiate.”
Rafe could only think for a minute because you were happily skipping back towards the table. Your hands were cradled together, open towards him and holding peppermints, “Look, Rafe, they had a whole bowl of free mints in the bathroom,” You chirped, “I’m going to save some of these for Lana if that’s okay.”
“Yeah, baby, that’s fine.” Rafe smiled at you. “I was just telling Nathaniel about the amazing tea parties you like to throw.”
As you plopped down in your seat, your princess-style dress puffing up and then deflating like a balloon, your eyes widened. “It’s really fun!” you added. “Next time, I want to paint tea-cup handles. You should come, Mr. Sterling. Is that okay?”
The two men exchanged glances before Nathaniel narrowed his eyes back on you, running a hand over his face to smooth down his mustache, “That sounds delightful, sweetheart.”
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reblog with a comment letting me know what you think to be added to my tag list!
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otaku553 · 6 months
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Straw hat women redesigns :) I was trying to doodle some of the crew and came to the realization that I just Could Not with Nami so I wanted to play around with it a little bit
Some more design notes below:
Nami’s design actually went a lot smoother for me than Robin’s! I think canon post timeskip Nami is a very low bar. While you can argue that to some extent Nami being vain and seductive is part of her character, I do feel that there are many more integral parts of her character that can be highlighted in her design, namely map making and her combat. Though not one of the stronger straw hats, Nami does seem to be well practiced with her staff outside of its use for weather manipulation, and I think her being a physical combatant, even slightly, can be better reflected with more loose clothing for better mobility.
For her mapmaking, I wanted her to have constant easy access to her tools and to information about the locale, so around her waist she has one large pouch at the back for books and scrolls and maps in progress and one small pouch to the side for writing utensils and measurement tools. As backup she also has 2 pens in her bun, which also act as pins for keeping her hair up if she ever needs to move a lot.
I’m not sure how clearly it shows up in the notes, but Nami’s shoe soles are also made from whatever artificial cloud material makes up the weather island she stayed on during the timeskip, so that it both pads her steps to make them soundless and bounces for better mobility. The shoes are naturally shaped like heels but without the actual heel, since she tends to move around on tiptoes anyways- a nod to her epithet as cat burglar and her past as a thief.
I made her shoulders a bit broader because I think they probably get a lot of exercise with her staff, and changed out the bikini top for a more supportive chest wrap, with a loose tank over it for breathability. The compression socks and sleeve are more stylistic than anything, since I like layers, but they might come in handy for her if she spends extended amounts of time sitting down making maps for the crew.
Robin’s was a bit more difficult for me to figure out, and I might go back and revisit it at some point. For Nami, it was a bit easier to imagine what would pair well with her combat methods and her needs as a mapmaker, but with Robin, she’s an academic who fights almost completely hands off, without a specific weapon to her name. Because her strength lies mostly in her devil fruit, she has a bit more room for style over functionality, but I also still wanted her to have something that made sense with what she was. I don’t really think I succeeded in that regard, but it’s also hard to convey what she does visually— she’s more of like a professor than a field archaeologist I think.
I really really enjoy her cowboy hat but I didn’t think it would match with the rest of the outfit so I switched it out for a wider brimmed hat and kept the orange sunglasses on it, as a nod to the revolutionaries with the combination of headwear and eyewear. She deserves a trench coat. I don’t make the rules. And the rest of the fit mostly came down to things I think I would enjoy wearing, haha
The trench coat is partially a nod to the scholars of ohara, who seem to wear white coats like lab coats in some screenshots of robin’s backstory. I think also the reading glasses help to make her seem a bit more academic, but aren’t prominent enough to leave a strong impression. All in all I do wish robin’s design had more functionality in it but I also think that robin is a character who probably enjoys dressing up nicely like this, especially in the comfort and stability of the straw hats.
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