#I see a character who is calculating and bad at friends and I take it personally

[cringefailcabitha]

TT rejoin I’m manifesting it praying for it…

No offense but… I want her to rejoin thinking Cabby is up to the same old same old but see that Cabby is trying to change and that despite herself she’s made a friend… and at first they don’t want to approach each other because TT feels uncomfortable and Cabby is still sore about the betrayal of her first almost-friend… but they can’t help but entering each other’s orbits… idk I just want the undivorce arc don’t look at me. I want her to introduce and re-introduce Cabby to her friends at the hotel. And I want Cabby to become an honorary Bright Light. 😭😭 is that a crime,

[st4rrth0ughts]

Aventurine character study that I spewed at my friend posted here bc I despise whoever portrays him as a useless blonde 24/7 horny twink as his canon self (i will throttle you through the fuckin screen)

A/n: I think the 2.1 trailer is helping me regain my writing motivation, expect inbox asks from Jan- Feb to be coming out soon :)

WRITTEN BEFORE 2.1 This post will contain leaks, 2.0 Trailblaze quest spoilers, world quest spoilers, Aven's slave life in canon, disgusting people saying Aven's a sex slave, under the cut! Please proceed with caution if any of these trigger you. Thank you, and enjoy my yap session on one of the best characters in this game.

Aventurine's story is much more than just looking and acting like the typical rich blonde playboy, as much as he gives off those vibes. Looking at his child self in the 2.1 trailer compared to all of his current models, its very obvious that many, many things happened that caused all the light to poof from his eyes.

First, his homeland, Sigonia. Aventurine's home planet's is uninhabited, and perhaps even destroyed completely. Aventurine is the last of his kind left. His parents, his sister, his possible friends and relatives, hell, even all the people he doesn't know have all perished. The IPC took him in, I presume, but most definitely not out of kindness. In fact, it may not matter that Aventurine is one of the Ten Stonehearts, he is not a person to the company. He is just a asset, a piece for them to dispose if he fucks up.

In the 1.4? Belobog quest where Topaz goes to Bronya about Belobog's massive debt to the IPC, and at the end, we get our first crumbs of Aventurine's character. A important thing to note in this dialogue between the two of them is that he asks Topaz to the project manager on his project in Penacony, because if he knows better than everyone that if he fails to get Penacony back into the IPC's grasp, he'll die. There's no way around it, unless he gets someone he has a somewhat close bond with, Topaz, to lighten his fall.

The tattoo on his neck, is a symbol of his slavery to the IPC. How he's bound to them. How no matter how hard he runs or hides, he will never escape their grasp. In fact, he knows damn well, if anyone gets wind of this alongside his Sigonian history (Sigonians are notorious for being wolves in sheep's clothing, bad people in most eyes'), it is very well possible that his rivals and enemies will use his past to their advantage. Thats why he freely shows it to the world. So that no one can dig it up and use it against him, because how do you use something that he so freely proclaims to everyone he meets?

Aventurine is a man who gambles as well. Not just simply gambling for the thrill of it or his earnings. He says it himself, he sees the world, life itself, as a gamble. High reward, high stakes. Even going back to his conversation with Topaz, its only shown on how he tells her he warned her about taking Belobog as her project because it was high risk, but low return. Aventurine wants the best outcome not just for himself, but because if he doesn't get a good outcome, the IPC has no use for him.

Aventurine is a man who knows how to get what he wants. he knows how to take risks, get out of high stake scenarios with him being the winner. Its obvious in his lightcone, 'Final Victor', his conversation with Dr. ratio in the Penacony 2.0 Trailblaze quest, and his conversation with Himeko and Welt about giving up his room for the Trailblazer. He's confident, cocky, if you will. But for good reason.

In the lightcone, its implied it doesn't matter for Aventurine dies or lives. He will always be the winner. Every move is calculated, precise, carried out with clockwork precision and most importantly, planned so well that whether you like it or not, you're letting him win. He manages to get the Nameless, the widely regarded faction, in his debt. He knows damn well how to play his cards. It is extremely impressive. But he is the Aventurine of Stratagems. He knows what he wants and needs, and he will go any length to get it.

The lightcone, again, also shows just how far Aventurine risks, just for him to gain Dr. Ratio as a asset for him to benefit from. He could have gone any route, but what does he go for? Thats right, Russian goddamn roulette. Just for the (I assume) slim chance of Dr. Ratio's trust, or at the very least, cooperation. "I will always be the final victor." I am repeating, but just bear with me here, this just solidifies the fact he is confident in his skills. He doesn't flinch at all when he shoots 3 blank rounds right into his heart, even though there's the 1/6 chance he'll die. He takes risks. Its his character. He doesn't have anything or anyone, much less his own life, left to loose.

The lightcone is also not 'haha funny gay story', as much as it is funny, i wont lie, the memes are fun to look at, but it is not that. Its a story where Aventurine's suicidal tendency shows through, perhaps not so clearly, but its very much there if you look past the story and read into it. Again, Russian roulette, he could have gone for anything else, like a contract or smth, but he knows he has to go through extremes, and this just solidifies the fact of how Aventurine will do anything for assets and trust in him, so his plans can come to fruition.

Aventurine's personality is complicated, like a intricate, deceiving web of lies and emotional barriers to keep him safe. He hides behind the facade of smiles and is unreadable, and his past is all but cheery. A slave, (not a sex slave, twitter+Tiktok users need their brain fucking reworked i will cry) a man branded by the IPC, bound to the till his death is what Aventurine is. The IPC is ruthless, evident from multiple world quests, such as the Aurum Street Alley quest, Belobog's debt quest, Chadwick's quest in Penacony, paints them as bad people, a bad organization in general. Hell, even though Topaz isnt like the assholes we've seen, she's far from an angel herself.

Aventurine has gone through many things to have lost the sparkle in his eyes. Take Childe/Tartaglia from Genshin Impact for example, whom fell into the abyss for months, seen all the horrors of it, had to learn to fend for himself because I'm very sure Skirk did not care for him in a healthy sense. We can either assume Aventurine been through something on the same level during his younger days or perhaps, worse.

And no, he is not Dr. Ratio or Sunday's sex slave, I'm looking at a certain artist on Twitter (fuck off I'm not calling it X), its disgusting. Whoever genuinely enjoys sex slave Aventurine is sick in the damn head, no he would not enjoy that kind of Roleplay, as much as i am downbad and indeed filthy with some of my fics with him.

Aventurine doesn't have anyone he can truly call a friend, ship him with Dr. ratio, Sunday, Boothill (yes, its a thing), Caelus/ Stelle, whoever, but in the end, you cannot say he (as of 2.0, this may change) has any true friends he can trust, not even just a bit. Bonds he forms are transactional, maybe not too much on Dr. Ratio (as evidenced by his dejected his looks after Ratio leaves, either from the insult or bc he truly though Ratio cared) and perhaps on the Astral Express's part, but his bond with Sunday? Yeah, its transactional, 101% unless it changes in 2.1.

All in all, Aventurine is my favourite character, i have never wanted to read, write, understand, watch, hell, I've never wanted to farm and pull for a character as much as him. He is a complex, heavy and deep character that I do not believe many can grasp upon properly when writing stories, headcannons or even smut/nsfw works with him in it (shoutout to those who does tho, I love y'all <3).

Draw or write his fanon self, make him a himbo, tsundere, a rich man who's just a playboy, or a blonde with a pretty face, but you cannot say that is him in canon. I may despise some fanon interpretations, but fuck those who merge fanon and canon. He will never be any of the fanon interpretations i mentioned above, and he never will be in canon. Hoyoverse put their whole soul into this man, i can see it, and its brain damaging on how so many people fetishize his past and water him down.

In speculation of 2.1 and 2.2, if Aventurine does live (he prob will, its unlikely he'll be killed before release, Tingyun is a exception because she released before her death), maybe he'll learn how to start to open himself up again, start to fully trust, starting with Trailblazer as his first true friend. Its cliche, typical protag power bullshit, but it will no doubt, be a huge step in shaping Aventurine back into the man he could have been if his planet wasn't enslaved.

Conclusion: He deserves better, both in- game and how the fandom treats him. I love him, he's my adorable pookie wookie shmookie <33

[oneatlatime]

The Crossroads of Destiny

Strap in folks it's finally finale time!

I'm getting a bad feeling from the 'previously on' segment.

*gasp* Song's bird horse!?!?!

Toph gets some serious speed with that earth tongue walking.

Ty Lee's flattery gets less and less subtle. I get the feeling that a lot of Azula's more worrying tendencies could have been curtailed if someone had stuck her on stage as a child.

Is Zuko taller?

The cuts between these scenes are getting ridiculous. Some of these scenes are maybe 15 seconds long.

Zuko knows what's up. He and Iroh have teamed up on that particular fire breathing party trick before.

"It's time I face Azula." Buddy. No.

"You're so dramatic." POT. KETTLE. BLACK.

The last time Iroh and the Aang Gang teamed up, it was also against Azula. She has a way of uniting enemies.

The longer I stare at this the more I giggle.

"Good inside him isn't enough. Why don't you come back when it's outside him too, ok?" Congratulations to Sokka for articulating one of the fundamental human truths. Intentions can go take a hike when all that's visible are actions.

I love that! Iroh says he brought someone along in a tone that very much implies that he asked for help from a friend! Then you go outside and see he kidnapped a dude! And then they just leave him there!

I see your fake meditation. No one as rotten inside as this guy actually meditates properly.

The Dai Li be like

Katara? Why are you ripping into Zuko? Why is Season one bitchy Katara back? I don't want season 1 bitchy Katara to come back.

"No offence." "None taken." Iroh loves his nephew, but Iroh knows his nephew.

The one time Iroh's advice is explicitly solicited is the one time his advice is corny crap. That sucks.

Ba Sing Se is a tel? That's neat.

Hey Toph? Now would be a great time for that new metal bending trick of yours.

Avatar inadvertently validating my fear of subway grates.

I know this is life or death serious and all, but isn't the Sokka and Ty Lee dynamic cute?

MOMO!

This episode's thesis statement boils down to "what happens when you cancel arts programs and theatre kids don't get a chance to monologue in controlled conditions."

Honest question: Is Azula actually so deluded to believe that Divine Right of Kings crap she just spouted, or is she saying what the Dai Li needs to hear to side with her? Usually I think everything out of Azula's mouth is a calculated statement for manipulating others, but the way the show framed that monologue makes me think she actually believes what she's saying.

This conversation between Katara and Zuko, aside from showing that Katara is as capable as Sokka at sticking her foot in her mouth, is actually showing Zuko's growth well. So many of the things that he waves away with an "it's ok" are things that would have made him explode back in season one. It's about time he redefined that scar of his too.

"Aang! I knew you'd come!" "Uncle! The fuck?" Zuko truly has a way with words.

Hey Iroh maybe save your heart to heart until after you've exited the prison?

Wait so this episode is named after Zuko's arc? It's Zuko's destiny this finale is dealing with? Poor Aang's not even the main character in his eponymous show's season finale? Dang.

What was I saying about waiting to chat until you're outside the prison?

So every word out of Azula's mouth here is definitely a lie. She doesn't need Zuko at all. She's got a whole army and already has possession of the throne. What does she need with someone she considers to be an inferior firebender?

Father's love? That guy who burns off faces? The audacity.

"You are free to choose." Is it really freedom of choice if choosing the answer Azula doesn't want to hear ends with Zuko in a crystal cage?

Gotta say I'm intrigued by how quiet Zuko's being for this whole episode. Compare it to the volume of his confrontation with Azula at the Spa place at the beginning of the season.

This is so awful. This is so skin crawly. This is so going to end badly.

Toph can turn doors into ping pong balls. I like that. And what does she need Sokka scouting for Dai Li agents for? She can sense people for miles.

I love the line read on the "I'm not leaving without Bosco!" But does this guy really think he's in a position to make demands, after all the stuff he's ruined in the last, what, two days?

This is a cool move. Full body air bitchslap.

Katara cut her hair! That's kind of like what she did to Pakku with the ice disks.

How has no one been knocked out yet? Everyone in this fight should have at least 5 concussions by now.

I don't know what to make of it, but when Zuko says "I have changed" he sounds more calm and confident than he has all season.

I love the dynamic between Sokka & Toph and Mai & Ty Lee. Everyone involved knows they're second string and no one's really that invested. So they're all kind of chill.

I don't know what's going on in this fight, but Zuko is far too talented and Katara and Aang are both going down too easily.

And this right here is why this fight is only going to end badly for Aang. As soon as Azula's tired of playing, she'll call in reinforcements. Aang doesn't have those.

I hate Azula so much, which means I'm very annoyed to say that she and Zuko actually make a good fighting team. Did they practice drills together or something back in the day? They way they tag out and back in, and exchange fights, flows so well.

Jesus

Crap ok

She nerfed him in the power up sequence! That's not allowed!

So help me god if the writers hook these two up after pulling this crap I will riot.

Iroh could have been helpful if he'd been there earlier. Guess it takes a while to break out of crystals. Although I do like the detail that he stops fighting as soon as Aang and Katara are out & safe.

I was wondering why the magic water was randomly brought up earlier after disappearing for the entire season. I figured it had been lost in the desert with the rest of the stuff on Appa's saddle.

I'm so sorry, but the way Aang's arrow flashes once to confirm that Katara's saved him makes him look like an external USB device confirming successful connection.

I'm loving how immediate the regret from Zuko is. Proof that he has learned over the last two seasons.

"The Earth Kingdom... has fallen." AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT? This King rubs me the wrong way. Consistently.

I'm fascinated by the fact that they managed to securely transport a bear on Appa's back.

Final Thoughts

Poor Aang has been demoted to secondary character in his own show. This finale was all Fire Nation.

Well done Azula. No matter which way you look at it, she won. If Azula was the main character, this episode would be the crowning glory series finale.

Sokka and Toph spent the whole episode running around putting out fires, only for five more to spring up in their place. I honestly don't know how they and Appa reconnected with the rest of the Gaang to fly out at the end. There's this feeling the whole episode of being consistently one too many steps behind, and I think it's most obvious in their incessant side quests.

Poor Katara went through about seventy billion emotions this episode. I take back my anger at her bitchiness. She deserved a vent session, although I don't think Zuko quite deserved to be the recipient of it. But he took it well.

Congratulations to Zuko for falling backwards into the only right choice for all the wrong reasons. This episode was only going to end with Azula victorious. She recruited an army and successfully executed a coup without breaking a sweat - that is not a level of enemy that Aang and friends has ever faced before, and not one they can realistically win against. Like with Long Feng, this is not a threat you can hit. You can't bend at ideologies and loyalties.

Zuko was going to end this episode siding with the Fire Nation as a free man, or in Fire Nation custody. This way, someone with an actual semi-functioning conscience now has access to the upper levels of the Fire Nation. This could be really interesting.

To be clear, I fully believe that Zuko chose to side with Azula because he swallowed her offer hook, line & sinker. For the guy who invented "Azula always lies" he sure does fall for her lies a lot, especially when she's saying exactly what he wants to hear. I believe Zuko believed her about getting his honour back bla bla bla, chose to follow her because of that belief, and has already realised at least some of what she said was lies by the end of the episode. Which is promising! It looks like there's potential for a Zuko mole next season!

I'm worried for Iroh. Firelords who burn their children's faces off with no shame don't strike me as the type to shy away from executing their brothers.

The Aang fakeout death at the end was not remotely believable unfortunately, mostly because kids' cartoons don't ever pull a Psycho and kill the nominal main character half way through. It probably would have freaked me out if I'd seen this episode as a kid though.

Azula hitting Aang during his power up sequence was inspired. A very well done subversion of expectations, which finally validates my frustrations with the concept of power up sequences in general. Few things bug me more than the mooks politely waiting their turn while the good guy does a quick wardrobe change.

So... is the war over? The Earth Kingdom's fallen, the Southern Water Tribe have been functionally out of the game for a while now. There's only the Northern Water Tribe left, which are only still standing because of a Hail Mary that I very much doubt Aang can pull off twice. So is next season's focus going to be defending the Northern Water Tribe from a final Fire Nation push? I think that's the only place that isn't conquered by the Fire Nation in name at least. On the bright side, this means the Gaang won't be returning to Ba Sing Se. Good riddance. I hate that place.

I've never seen a show with a finale that focuses so intensely on the conflict of someone other than the main character. I don't really know what to make of this episode. I think I liked the one before it better. To be clear, everything that happened made sense - characters were in character, events unfolded as expected (if you handwave an elite force of earthbenders preferring a 14 year old over their seasoned leader), but something about this episode is just a bit boring to me. Maybe they telegraphed it too hard in the previous episodes? I don't know. I'll have to chew on this one a bit.

[cookinguptales]

Y'know, I post a lot on tumblr about what a shit Guillermo is, and I stand by that. He is a marvelous little shit. But honestly I only talk about it so much because people on tumblr and AO3 send me so many messages about how he's never done anything wrong in his life. When I'm presented with the opposite, that Guillermo is uniquely awful and selfish and he victimizes the poor uwu vampires (thinkpieces that you saw a lot more often during s3) I am fully like "I STAND BY EVERY DECISION THAT FOOLISH MAN HAS EVER MADE."

Being real with you, I feel like talking about Guillermo like he's totally blameless and put-upon or like he's totally selfish and wholly evil flattens a really complex and interesting character. He's selfish and self-involved and cruel and sweet and insecure and giving. He's all those things, and I love that about him.

I love Guillermo as a character because he has these carefully constructed categories in his head, these rules and boundaries that he sticks to like glue. He contains multitudes, and it's because he carefully follows the rules he has in his own head, even when they don't make a lot of sense to others.

I think the best way to think about Guillermo's actions is to think about him having two very different sets of rules for in-groups and out-groups. He will bend over backward for people in his in-group, will be the kindest, most patient, sweetest man in the world -- but he can be downright vicious to people in the out-group.

This is a pretty common occurrence IRL, though not always to the degree that Guillermo does it... I mean, you're going to treat your best friend's birthday differently than you're gonna treat a stranger's, right? When you start seeing it happen the way Guillermo does it, though, it's often to create and preserve power. You see it in politics, high school cliques, religion, etc.

For example, let's take new religious movements (or NRMs, i.e. "cults".) They are famous for this behavior. When you create distinct in-groups and out-groups and can behave very differently towards both, you give your followers a strong incentive to stay in the in-group. It makes them feel like they're the "good" ones, the superior ones, the ones with power. The ones that belong. And when they see out-groups being mistreated, well. No one wants to be in the group with no power who's mistreated, y'know? It simultaneously gives people in the in-group a sense of community, belonging, and social superiority and makes them afraid to leave.

But really, you see it all the time. If you have a "good" group that you can never harm and a "bad" group that you can do anything to, that really helps prop up power structures in a lot of ways. Look, I'm not going to get into this too much more because you don't want a freaking academic lecture on your dash, but suffice it to say that I think Guillermo is largely using his in-groups and out-groups in this way, mentally speaking.

He has in-groups (his friends, his family, his boyfriend, the vampires he lives with) and out-groups (literally everyone else, including other vampires) and he badly mistreats the out-groups because he does not want to be one of them. I've noticed he's particularly awful to human prey that reminds him of himself (nerdy, socially awkward, powerless, virginal) and I think that's because he wants to distance himself from them. He wants to make sure no one mistakes him as being part of that group, so he very strongly pushes them into his out-group by not only killing them, but making fun of them and often making sure they suffer before they die.

And then he's even more slavishly devoted to his in-groups, partially because he does truly love them, but partially because he desperately wants to stay in those groups. Or because he's trying to protect his own hide.

I don't mean to say that every kind thing he does is calculated -- I do think he very genuinely wants to make the people he loves happy -- but there's a sort of desperation to it sometimes. When he does these kind things, sometimes it's this desperate bid to be valued and accepted by others in his in-group, which makes him feel like he's earned his place there.

I've noticed that Guillermo has a tendency to do things for people to stay in their good graces (buying his mom a fridge, doing chores for Nandor, giving Derek money) when what they actually want is his time and attention. There often is a vibe that he's trying to earn his way into a group he doesn't quite feel entitled to when actually he's already very much a part of the group and he just needs to maintain those relationships. It's insecurity, frankly, and a nervous sort of self-preservation.

In fact... I'd say that Guillermo's greatest emotional struggles often come when trying to reconcile (and protect) different members of his in-group because he's trying to reconcile (and protect!!!) the different parts of himself.

Like... when he protected Jeremy, he was protecting a friend, but also the idea that some weak, virginal nerds are not prey. He had to protect this member of his in-group, partially because he loved him, but partially because he had to protect himself by extension. If Jeremy could be an exception to the predator-prey dynamics, so could he. Some humans could be valuable.

When he protected his fellow familiars during the familiar fights, he was protecting fellow humans whom he thought had "earned" a better life (and death) than prey humans, but he was also protecting the idea that a familiar could be loved and valued. He was protecting himself and the hope that Nandor would love him.

When he protected his family, he was protecting his beloved family members, but also the idea that vampires and slayers could coexist. Of course he doesn't want his family to die, but he's also doesn't want his hopes that he can have it all to die with them.

Let's all be real with each other here. Guillermo kills humans, and he does so without compunction. He is able to utterly dehumanize prey humans because he has a vested interest in emotionally distancing himself from them. But he gets kind of freaked out when the humans that he has mentally removed from that prey group (his friends, his family, people "like him") are not placed into that same exempt group by others. And this is definitely because he wants to protect those he loves!

But it's also because it means that he isn't special, either.

Let's talk about Freddie, who I think is probably the most complicated example of all this in the entire show. (Save perhaps Derek, who could probably get an entire post to himself because he went from out-group to in-group without Guillermo's consent.) When Freddie first arrived at the house, Nandor mistook him for prey. This understandably freaked Guillermo out, partially because he wanted to protect his boyfriend and partially because it was violating Guillermo's group dynamics.

(Insert meta here about Freddie representing Guillermo's ability to have a happy life outside of the weird, insular one he'd created for himself prior to s4.)

Freddie ended up being kind of special, though, because Guillermo considered him to be part of his in-group and Nandor considered him an out-group until he realized that Guillermo valued him. And then Nandor wanted him to not just be part of his in-group, but a portion of it separate from (but simultaneously representing) Guillermo. It's complicated!!

So we had Freddie 1 who was Guillermo's and Freddie 2 who was Nandor's, but... in the end, Freddie really belonged to no one but himself, right? In the end, he very literally chose himself. He left the -group dynamic altogether.

So Freddie is moving in and out of these groups like a fuckin' oiled-up eel that Guillermo cannot keep a hold of, and that really challenges his control issues as well as his ability to feel like he belongs in the in-groups he's created. It challenges his ability to feel worthy and loved and like he belongs anywhere. It challenges his ability to have faith that he'll ever become a vampire. Suddenly he does not control these groups anymore. If anything, they're controlling him.

While a lot of Guillermo's angst at the end of s4 was about, y'know, normal heartbreak... I think a lot of that was happening, too. He was really seeing the abrupt overturning of the carefully established rules and groups and boundaries and power differentials in his head, and that made him just want to be free of the whole thing.

So he took a step out of all of his preconceptions about what he did and did not have to do to belong in these groups, and took hold of his own destiny.

...unfortunately.

Guillermo's decisions in s4, both regarding his family and his turning, really did permanently shake up a lot of the group dynamics in the show. For better? For worse? (FOR GOOD...? lmao) It's hard to say, honestly. But I'm eager to see how he irons it all out in his head!

Our able-to-self-justify-literally-anything bitch. 💜

[rainydaydream-gal18]

(The Bad Batch) Hunter x Reader: Timing

Word Count: 2,844

Warnings: Mentions of O66, some angst, kissy kissy.

   You lowered your head, pulling the hood of your cloak farther down over your face in hopes to keep you from being recognizable by any untrustworthy characters.  By the looks of it, that meant everyone in this parlor.

   It was a risky move going there in the first place.  Incredibly dangerous.  Some might deem it unwise, but it was all you had.

   Ever since that day…that horrible day… you’d been keeping an extremely low profile.  You traveled from place to place, having to choose the shadiest modes of transport to avoid the chain code system.  Being on the Empire’s most wanted list meant that you had to take every precaution.

   You glanced around the crowded parlor, getting a feel for the room.  The majority of customers were gathered around one of the dejarik boards.  Things were getting rowdy as one individual was just about to defeat his opponent.  No one would pay you any mind.

   Good.  You could locate the one known as Cid without drawing attention to yourself.

   She was a known jedi informant, and now a possible way to reach some old friends.

   Thanks to Rex’s description, you were able to find her very quickly.  She was seated at the bar, quietly sipping her drink and watching the game.  You exhaled slowly to gather yourself before walking over and taking the seat next to her.

   You ordered a drink casually, knowing that if you jumped right into a slew of questions that she’d be much less likely to give you an answer.  Finally, when your drink was set down in front of you, you took a sip and turned to the cantina owner.

   “Good evening,” you greeted.

   Her yellow eyes regarded you with skepticism that you were speaking to her, but she remained curt.  “‘Evening.”

   “I am looking for some friends of mine.  I was hoping you could point me in the right direction.”

   She lifted a scaly brow, scowling.

   “Could you tell me where I might find a group?”  You paused, searching for the right words.  There was a good chance that they wouldn’t go by their Republic designation.  “It’s a very particular group.  I’ve been told they do odd jobs for you.”

   Cid leaned back, her expression calculating.  “I might know of a group.  Depends on who’s asking.”

   “I’m an ally.”

   She huffed.  “Sure you are.”

   Cid didn’t say anything more, but the message had gotten across.  You could only hope that you’d reach them.  If you couldn’t, then you’d have to contact Rex again…  You remained at the counter, watching as Cid slipped away.

   The anticipation of seeing them, seeing him again, was almost too much to bear.  Your mind flooded with memories as you waited.  Memories of the first time you’d met the intriguing squad.  Memories of the first time you’d locked eyes with him.

   “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sergeant.” you greeted, blocking a stream of laser blasts.  “Though I wish it was under better circumstances.”

   His voice emerged smoky and mysterious through the modulator of his helmet as he took out a nearby droid with his viroblade.  “Pleasure’s all mine, General.”

   Later on, after the initial wave of droids, he removed his helmet to speak with you face-to-face.  You were well aware of how the Bad Batch differed from other troops, but it was still surprising to see their appearances.

   “Your squad is most impressive,” you said, trying very hard to push down the immediate feelings of attraction that began to blossom as you admired his tattooed features.  “And you arrived in just the nick of time.”

   He gave a small chuckle, his brow lifting.  “It’s what we do.”

   “Yeah!”  The one known as Wrecker jumped into the conversation, giving a hearty laugh.  “Those droids never stand a chance against us!”

   Tech was typing away on a set of buttons on his armor.  “They are falling back.  By my calculations, they will regroup shortly for a final attack.”

   “We’d better get ready then,” Crosshair smirked, placing a toothpick between his teeth.

   “Any orders?” Hunter asked.  It was apparent that the squad was very accustomed to working independently, but he made a point to recognize your authority as a jedi general.

   “None except that we retake this base,” you replied, making Wrecker practically jump.

   “I like her!”

   You found yourself smiling against the rim of your glass right before taking a sip.  That battle marked the beginning of your time with the Bad Batch.  You had the rank of general, but you’d never assumed command of a legion.  The Council would send you on independent missions as they saw fit, and after the success of that one, you were granted permission to assist the squad on a series of assignments.

   You came to see the Bad Batch as family. Aside from the particularly risky missions, it was the happiest period of your life.

   And that’s where it got messy.

   You recalled so vividly the bonds you’d formed with the brothers.  The hours working on the ship with Tech.  The many different ways to blow up a droid that Wrecker taught you.  The time you’d spent getting to know Crosshair and read him, though you still found him puzzling at times.  The talks you had with Hunter.

   Things got extremely messy when taking into account the feelings you harbored for the sergeant in secret, though such attachments to him, or anyone for that matter, were forbidden.  What was worse…he felt the same for you, and he knew about your attachment to him.  You could feel it every time his mind was near.  With both of you being so sensitive to your surroundings, it was bound to happen.  It was an unspoken thing between you.  Though you ached for more, you decided that being near him was enough.

   Then, there was the night that everything seemed to implode.

   Another successful mission.

   You gazed out at the beautiful star streaks across the dash as the Marauder traveled at lightspeed.  All was quiet aboard the ship.  Save for Tech’s busy mind, everyone seemed to be settling down for some much-needed rest.

   Oh.  There was one more mind that hadn’t been lulled by the sound of the engine.  Footsteps made their way up toward the front of the ship where you stood.

   “Hey. Sarge.”  The very informal greeting was a result of much time spent with the Batch.  The lot of you had forsaken by-the-book speech.  

   His eyes did not flash in amusement like they normally would.  His brows furrowed seriously as he leaned against the wall, and your voice took on a more concerned tone.  “Everything alright?”

   “Yeah,” he replied, though he didn’t look any less troubled.  “Just…a few things on my mind.”

   “Anything you’d like to share?  Maybe talking about it will help,” you offered helpfully.  “I’m no Yoda, but I’d like to think that learning under him has earned me some wisdom.”  You chuckled, giving him a playful nudge.

   “It’s-” he hesitated, gaze meeting yours meaningfully.  “I don’t think you want me to talk about this.”

   You tilted your head in confusion.  “Why not?”

   “Because it’s about…us.  This.  Whatever this is.”

   You caught on to where his mind was, feeling your heart flutter and stomach drop at the same time.  Your lips parted with a tiny “oh” sound escaping from them.  He was right.  This was definitely something you didn’t want to talk about. You couldn’t offer him a commitment.  Your code wouldn’t allow that.  But you didn’t want to lose him. This conversation could very well change everything.

   “Hunter… Before you continue, I just want to say that I…I…”

   “I know,” he said, stepping forward.  It was a small step, but it put him in your space entirely.  Suddenly his handsome face was all you could see, and that musky scent of his was the only thing you could smell.  His gloved hand reached out gently to brush your fingers.

   He knew what you felt for him… because that’s what he felt for you.

   “And I’m not asking for anything.  Or hoping.  I just…have to tell you at least once that I do too.”

   His lips ghosted over yours.  The warmth of his breath fanned your face, drawing you in while that feeling of comfort and security that you felt with him washed over you.  Your fingers entwined with his gloved ones, and you allowed yourself a single moment.  Hunter pressed his lips to your own briefly, testing the waters.  You leaned in before he could pull away, capturing him in another kiss, which he deepened.

   It was only a single moment, absolutely forbidden and beautiful.

   The kiss ended all too soon, with Hunter whispering a low “good night” before heading for his rack to get a few hours of sleep.  You remained in the cockpit, caught up in the thrill of what happened, yet completely torn.

   You felt tears well up in your eyes as you recalled what happened next.  It was right after returning from that mission that the Council had decided to reassign you to assist another jedi in an entirely different system.

   That was the end of your time with the Batch during the Clone Wars.  You couldn’t protest the Council’s decision without betraying some sort of attachment.  Even if the Council didn’t pick up on anything romantic, they still wouldn’t be so keen on your preference of the squad over where duty called you.  The Council’s decision had come so quickly that part of you feared that somehow they knew.

   So you carried out orders without so much as a hesitation.  You didn’t reach out to Hunter, fearful that he would also be at risk somehow.  Time passed.  The war came to an end.

   You’d barely escaped the former chancellor’s horrid order.  And after so many months on your own, wondering where your squad was in all this mess, assuming the worst, you ran into Rex, and he informed you of his discovery of them, the removal of their chips, and their whereabouts.

   It was only a matter of a few rotations before you found yourself at Cid’s Parlor.

   There was no telling how your arrival would be received.  Would they be angry?  Hurt?  Would they be glad to see you?  You imagined that the others would be glad, at least.

   The moment had arrived.  The first one you saw was Wrecker, towering over everyone else in the cantina as he made his way out from the back.  He spotted you right away, and a huge grin spread across his face.

   “Hey!  It’s ________!”

   He emerged from the crowd with Hunter just in front of him, followed by Tech.  Another trooper walked out after him that you didn’t recognize and also a young girl.

   “Ah, _________” Tech said in recognition.  “I am pleased to see you alive and well, considering the events concluding the war.”

   “You have no idea how glad I am to see all of you,” you replied warmly.  “It’s like coming home.”  You mustered the courage to meet Hunter’s eyes, hoping you’d find a similar welcome.  His gaze was piercing, like a single lamp in the dark- comforting, safe, filling you with relief.

   It was true.  That seedy parlor, where you’d never been before, that was full of strangers already felt like home.

   Even so, Hunter suggested the lot of you take the reunion back to the Marauder to avoid drawing any attention to you.  Your mind was buzzing the entire time with questions; both about the new faces you saw amongst your squad as well as the one face that you didn’t see.  Where was Crosshair?

   Tech updated you on the sharpshooter’s absence in a brief, but thorough explanation.  You were saddened to hear of these events, but the group seemed somewhat hopeful that their brother didn’t appear entirely lost.

   The other trooper, who you presumed to be a newer member of the squad, looked rather curious.

   “Echo, this is ________, a friend.  She served with us on several missions during the war,” Hunter introduced.

   “Served?” Echo repeated.  “Then that would make you a…”

   “A jedi,” you uttered quietly.  “Yes.”

   He stood up straight and saluted with his scomp arm.  “It’s an honor.  My name is Echo.  I joined the squad after a rescue mission on Skako.”

   “And this is Omega,” Hunter gestured toward the girl.  “Our newest member.”

   “Hello!” she gave a cheerful wave.  “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

   “Oh really?”

   “Yep!” Wrecker butted in, wrapping you up in a big hug.  “You’re our favorite jedi, after all!”  He set you down and gave you a playful nudge with his elbow, which almost sent you stumbling.  “We missed you!  Especially Hunter here.”

   The comment piqued your interest.  Hunter gave Wrecker one of his signature looks, silently telling him to drop it.  Tech observed the interaction, noting it while adjusting his goggles.  Echo’s gaze darted back and forth between you and Hunter, understanding flashing in them.  Omega looked confused, but didn’t voice it.

   You nearly collapsed into ruins from embarrassment.

   Wrecker suddenly scratched his head. “ Uhhh, that reminds me.  Tech, d’you remember the other day? I said I wanted to show you the thing.”

   “I do not recall-”

   “The thing.  It’s, uh, in Cid’s.  But we have to go see it.  Now.”

   Echo seemed to catch on to some inside cue because he quickly got Tech’s attention and nodded his head in the direction of the exit ramp.

   “Ah.  Indeed.”

   “You too, Omega!” Wrecker added, ushering the girl outside.  You clasped a hand over your mouth to hide your humor while the group departed.  You could hear Omega’s little voice asking, “what’s going on?” before they were out of earshot.

   Hunter gave a long and heavy sigh, shaking his head, before his eyes met yours again.

   “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised,” he said.  “They’re all trouble.”

   “Yeah,” you chuckled.

   An awkward silence fell over the both of you.  It wasn’t like you expected things to fall back into place, to pick up right where you’d left off.  But with how the others acted, you expected Hunter to say something.

   After all that time…There he was.  Safe and sound.  Standing just a few feet in front of you.

   “Hunter, I-”

   “Look-”

   Both of you fell silent again, and Hunter took the initiative to speak first.  His voice was low, a bit shaky.  “I’m glad you’re alright.  You don’t know how worried I was- we all were.”

   “I was worried about all of you,” you replied.  “I saw what the chips did to troopers.  It’s terrible.  I was so relieved to find Rex, and when he told me that he’d been in contact with you… I can’t even say how I felt.  I’ve missed you so much!”  Your voice broke, and Hunter stepped forward, wrapping his arms around you.

   The low rumble of his voice was soothing against your ear as he held you tighter.  “I missed you too.”

   “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to you after I was reassigned.  After what happened that night after our last mission…”

   “It’s alright.  Neither did I.  I guess…neither of us were in a place to do anything about it then.  We had our obligations.”

   Had obligations.  Past tense.

   “But just know that I’ve thought about you every day since then,” he said.  “Nothing’s changed.”

    “Oh, Hunter,” you cried.  “Me too.”

   His breath hitched in his throat, and he pulled away slightly.  “You know, if this weren’t to happen, there’s a place for you here.  With the squad.  That’s undeniable.”

   You met his eyes, too happy to care about the tears on your face.  His gaze seemed to soften at the sight of them, and he reached up to brush them away.  

   “I didn’t think it was,” you chuckled tearfully.  “I do want to be with the squad, and I want to be with you.”

   A soft smile graced his features, the kind of smile you’d only seen a few times.  One of them was when he first and last kissed you.  Hunter leaned in, brushing his nose against yours, before closing the short distance entirely.

   His arms enveloped you, pulling you tighter against his frame while he kissed you with simmering passion.  You grasped his broad shoulders to ground yourself, and yet it only sent you higher.

   Your eyes followed the contours of his face while you paused the dance of your lips to catch your breath, tracing the slope of his nose, the curve of his mouth, and the edge of his jawline.  Amidst the haze of his close proximity, you’d never seen him so clearly. 

   You were glowing, luminous.  So utterly content, and yet, your lips tingled with the desire to be kissed again.

   Heavy footsteps on the ramp jolted you from the moment.  Before you and Hunter could separate to save face, Wrecker poked his head inside the Marauder, grinning.

   “I knew it!  All it took was fifteen minutes.”

   “Actually,” Tech’s voice spoke up a little farther down matter-of-factly.  You could imagine him holding up his index finger pointedly.  “It was approximately twenty.”

[petrichor-idyllic]

Hii Petri, I want to request for headcanons please, it's maze runner boys x fem!reader and she was one of the first to go up in the box, she's been in the glade for enough time to pass for the transition of 'cute little girl who's happend to be there with a lot of boys' to 'really hot girl in the middle of tons os guys', and I want to see the moment that clicked for each one of them that "oh, she's a girl". I think it would be fun cause they're a bunch of virgin dudes stuck in a place with only one girl that they know since "forever" and then suddenly she's not that little kid anymore and it clicks that they'd could be the one to date her.

I am completely doing my requests out of order, but I really like this idea and headcanons are so much easier lol.

Also no Newt here, the boy likes men.

DEVELOPMENT

MASTERLIST | MULTI-CHARACTER MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: See above. Movie based fic.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, awkward teenage boys, you're the boss, everyone is useless, mild suggestive themes, the Thomas one is really bad 'cause I had no way of actually writing that based on this prompt.

You were the first person in the Glade, a young girl with no memories or idea what you were doing. Yet, somehow, you managed to survive for a whole month on your own. Then, one after another, the boys started joining you. And you went from soft girl to a leader they could rely on - though, it takes them a bit to notice this.

THOMAS

Being one of the later arrivals to the Glade, Thomas doesn't have the same reaction the others do.

You're just a badass from day one to him.

He thinks you're cool and calculated and you seem to know what you're doing.

He respects you from day one.

He doesn't get to have the whole realising you're cool moment that everyone else does.

He just thinks you're sick.

And he's like, stressed as shit, so he doesn't really have the time to think otherwise.

MINHO

Now, this is where it gets interesting.

Minho was one of the first boys to follow you into the Maze, just after Alby and Newt.

So he's witnessed your whole transformation.

From the early days of exploring the Maze together, to you making him Keeper, to the drunken nights where he'd had a rough day and you had to drag him to bed.

You've been together through thick and thin.

And some of Minho's confidence has definitely rubbed off on you.

The moment where Minho realised you were in face a girl, and not the one he first met was actually quite simple.

You'd had a long night, and with one of your Runners out of commission, you realised you hadn't told Minho to cover another route that day as you'd made arrangements for a new Runner to do a more simpler route- which meant switching up everyone's routines.

Fresh out of bed, wearing a sports bra and baggy trousers that hung off your hips, you went to the Map Room.

It wasn't uncommon for you to dress like this. The Glade is warm, and you basically mothered all these boys.

You whistled as you entered, gaining their attention.

"Oi, boys, listen up - I'm switching routes around today. With Sam off on sick and Darren being new, he's taking the easiest route. Minho, I need you to deal with covering the outer sections more. And Ben I need you to stick to your path for a change instead of going awol - your maps make no sense."

"Aw, what? But that's boring."

"I ain't shuckin' askin', Ben - do as you're told."

Oh.

Oh God.

Minho doesn't know why this is what made it click.

His eyes fell on your body, your words becoming static as he drunk in your figure.

Had you always been this attractive?

Had you always been this assertive?

Was Minho into dominant women?

Should he be concerned?

After this point onwards, Minho started looking at you differently.

In fact, you became the only thing he couldn't take his eyes off.

Minho would go from your confident and reliant friend to slightly awkward, but also occasionally flirty.

Like he can't actually decide what to do with you now.

It'd take a while, but after some near death experiences, he'd become more outwardly flirtatious.

Though, he still wouldn't be able to get over the admiration and awe for you.

GALLY

Gally would be your number one problem child in the Glade.

He always has been.

But, you normally left Alby or Newt to deal with him.

Especially at the start since he's a big dude with a big temper.

Gally always saw you unfit as a leader.

Too timid, quiet, anxious.

You name it, he thought it.

That was until the day him and Minho got in a particularly nasty fight.

You don't know why or what it was, but Gally had gone for the Runner. Alby was busy sorting out the Maps, and in light of Newt's recent injury - it was left up to you.

Jeff came running into your hut, panicking about the fight, leading you to running out after him.

"That's enough!"

You grabbed the boys, yanking Gally away by his collar.

"The shuck do you slintheads think you're doing?"

"He started it!"

"I did not!"

You'd had a hard day.

You didn't need this.

"I don't give two klunks who started it! We ain't got much choice to act like adults 'round here - and you two are actin' like diaper-klunkin' sissy babies! Get a shuckin' grip! I expect better."

Minho apologised quickly.

Gally did not.

"What? Why should I apologise when this shank can't shut his mouth?"

Well, you weren't having that.

"Because I shucking told you to. You're under my care and my order- what I say goes. You may be a Keeper, but that's up to me. Suck it up and do as you're told."

"...sorry.

"Better. Get back to work."

The way that Gally watched you walk away made it obvious to everyone who witnessed the scene that something had changed.

He'd always seen you as weak and a pointless leader, but now?

You'd put him in his place.

Initially, he was embarrassed.

But then he started seeing everything around the Glade, the power you actually held.

He also started to notice how attractive you actually had become.

Safe to say, he started to feel things after you basically called him a bitch.

He'd start showing you more respect after that.

Maybe a bit more than respect.

FRYPAN

Frypan has always liked you.

He's always respected you and been a good friend.

And he used to make sure that you were okay when things got too much.

But as you got older and more confident, you started to not need that comfort as much.

Unlike the others, there wouldn't be a specific moment where he realised.

He'd just be proud as he watched you grow as a person.

And you'd take charge.

It'd be a slow burn of feelings from friendship to genuinely having a crush on you.

You'd make sure his kitchen is always stocked and the Track-hoes do their job and the vegetables are up to scratch.

Though, his feelings came more with the physical transformation side of things.

You hit puberty, and went from being awkward to confident along with it.

Now, Frypan is probably one of the more respectful guys around.

But he can't help but stare when you bend over, or stretch or even just look at him with a smirk.

He's a teenage boy and you're the only girl around.

He's trying his best.

Though he did go from:

"Hey, everything okay? You look stressed."

To:

"H-hey uh, you uh, you need help, or...?"

Man's is down bad.

ALBY

Alby would probably be the person you're closest to.

He's the mouth and the power to your brain

You basically work side by side.

But, he'd always see you as someone he needed to look after and protect.

Then, as you grew up, came into yourself, that would change.

Especially when you started actually being in charge.

For the most part, he really doesn't care.

He noticed the others starting to act differently, but he didn't change much.

Apart from that one time you'd just come out of the shower.

And he just couldn't take his eyes off you.

And he kinda realised you're a woman.

But apart from that.

He's just... there.

Helping you lead.

Sorry for disappearing, this is not my best work but I am currently in full corpse mode.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed :))

[pasteloctoz]

Hi there! So- @ajfromthestarss and @darlin-collins decided they wanted some angst and gave me the prompt "Darlin has a nightmare‼️ Sam comforts them🔥the nightmare was abt Quinn ‼️" So I wrote it. Fair warning- this is a bit intense, though it's also the first time I've posted angst before. But also, because I felt like this was pretty intense, there's some fluff at the end cause DAMN Darlin needs it. Also, It's 1,749 words so that's something.

Anyways, triggers: flashback to trauma, with mentions of character death and light details of body horror, there's a small panic attack and what I would consider a bit of a dissociative episode after the flashback, though that bit isn't too bad. I also kinda leaned into the canonicity of Darlin having body issues, specifically toward their scars so be aware of that. Like I said this was intense to even write about.

The ghosts of your past

You find yourself curled in bed, comfortable, scrolling on your phone. It was close to midnight and your mate was fast asleep next to you. Despite not needing sleep, he enjoyed it when the two of you would lay in bed together until one of you fell asleep. This time he was the one who fell asleep first.

You turn over onto your back, turning off your phone. Looking up at the ceiling, you thought about everything that had happened recently. Thoughts and feelings mixed in knots that desperately needed to be untied. Though, at that moment, there was no one there to untie those knots. No one to reassure you that everything would be okay. So, you let your mind wander, and before long, you were fast asleep.

When you opened your eyes, you felt for the dip in the bed where your mate layed. He wasn’t there which was to be expected with the way he slept. What was weird was that the dip didn’t even exist anymore. You got up, reaching for your phone on your nightstand, only to grab the air. Confused, you examined the room. It was familiar, you knew that much.

Your heart skipped a beat. You were in the small, unfurnished apartment you shared with him years ago. There was a gentle humming coming from outside the bedroom door. You recognized the humming from anywhere. He was here. Immediately your anger was pressed down by a solemn, calculated feeling. You took a deep breath and thought, “Now’s a better time than any, I guess.”

You opened the door, yawning while pulling up your hair into the signature bun you wore when you were with him. You noticed that your normal orange creme-colored pajamas had been replaced with some very old blue and white pajamas that you never wore anymore. You were nervous upon seeing your ex. Though, you didn’t know why. The last time you saw him you felt a strong deal of hate. You couldn’t recall the last time you had seen him for some reason. You didn’t care as you focused on the conversation.

“Hey, precious,” He smirked as he let a long breath of smoke out, almost like a dragon. The smoke detector was laid out on the kitchen island as he leaned against it. He never bothered to open a window, but he would put in all the effort to take apart a smoke detector… or at least mangle it ‘til it stopped screeching.

He handed you a cigar, to which you declined, “Not today…”

“C’mon precious, it’s just one. I know you don’t like them, but it’ll grow on you. Trust me.”

You ignored his comment, which seemed to get on his nerves. Though, he kept his cool as you spoke to him. You figured you’d pull the bandaid right off, “I- I think we should break up.” A chill went down your spine. It was that night. The night that you truly felt alone after so long.

“No,” you thought, “Not again. I can’t live through this night again. No. I- I have a mate. An actual mate th- that cares about me- Hi- His name is… What was his name?” You couldn’t remember your mate’s name even though it was on the tip of your tongue. You weren’t in control of your actions. You couldn’t tell him to fuck off. You couldn’t go see your friend, you couldn’t protect them. You were helpless to let this play out the way it always did. Whether it was in your head or in real life.

Your vision went black and within a few seconds, you found yourself wandering a dark void, helpless, alone, and scared. Eventually, you came across your friend, unempowered, helpless, and scared. They lay on the floor in front of you, staring into the abyss above you. Quickly, you rush to their side, worried. As you hold them in your arms, you take in the familiarity of their mutilated body. The bite marks, the scratches, even the small burns caused by your ex’s weak magic. You knew this part, you knew they’d still be alive you just had to get them to the hospital. You brushed their bangs out of their eyes, whispering gently to them, “Everything’s going to be okay, I can fix this,” but dropped them quickly when you realized their eyes were lifeless. You backed up quickly before bumping into something.

“Hello, precious,” your ex’s accent startled you as you whipped around, quickly to see nothing.

You heard him behind you again, “How’s your mate doing?” He spoke in the normal, teasing tone he used when he spoke to you last, “And his progeny? Oh, I’d give anything to see Fred now that I’m gone officially. Kind of makes me wish I had taken him the first time I met him.”

“How are you-”

“Nevermind that, I just wanted to let you know that no matter where you are. And no matter where I am, Sam is never safe-”

You wake up in a cold sweat and frantically look to your side. There he was, your mate, sound asleep. Catching your breath, you check the time… 3:34 am. You sigh and carefully make your way out of the room you shared with your mate, careful not to wake him up. You make your way to the bathroom after grabbing your clothing for the day. All of your thoughts and feelings were a jumbled mess.

You felt your heart was still racing as you walked over to the sink. You looked into the mirror, giving yourself a second to breathe. As you took your pajamas off, you examined the scars across your body. Slipping into your new clothes you thought for a moment, “These scars could’ve been avoided, had I not gotten with him.” Immediately you regretted your thought. If it weren’t for your ex, you wouldn’t have met your mate. Your mate that loved you, and cared for you. That didn’t excuse the things he did, and you knew that. You still held the same hate you had for him the moment he attempted to make your life a living hell.

After getting ready for the day, you sat in the kitchen drinking a coffee, thinking to yourself. You tried keeping your mind on other things, but nothing worked. You scanned the room for something to do, eventually, your eyes fell on your mate’s coat that laid across the sofa. Quickly, you finished your cup of coffee before grabbing a monster from the fridge and wrapping yourself in the coat. Instantly, you felt better as you walked out to the front porch and scanned the tree line surrounding the house.

After a while, you hear the gentle voice of your mate, “Darlin’? Did you fall asleep on the porch?”

You yawn, realizing that the sky was now fading into the morning. It was almost dawn, and Sam was out there to wake you up, “... What? Oh, yeah… I guess I did. Sorry ‘bout that.” You got up, remembering that you brought a monster with you outside. The can still felt cold, and you realized that your hands and feet were icy cold as well.

“Don’t apologize, I just seemed to get out of bed at the right time,” He reached out for your hand and was startled to find out how cold it was. “Jesus, Darlin’! How long have you been out here?”

You shrugged, “4:10 just about.”

He looked at you, concerned, “The hell were you doing up at 4:10!?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Well, why not?” his face softened, though his accent was harsh along with his tone.

You decided it would be best to tell him the truth as the two of you made it into the living room, “I had a nightmare.”

The two of you sat down on the couch as worry crossed his face. It seemed to make sense to him after everything that had happened recently, “... Was it about him?”

You rubbed your arm awkwardly, “Yes.”

Immediately, your mate held your hand in his, tightly. He looked you in the eyes and spoke in a gentle, loving tone, “He’s gone now. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

“I- I know… I’m just angry, I guess,” you gazed into his silver eyes as a soft smile teased the corners of your mouth. Just being near him would make you feel better about anything. You continued to speak as he looked confused, “I didn’t think that after it was all set and done with that he’d still bother me. I didn’t think he ever had that much of an effect on me.”

“Darlin’... I- Can I give you a hug?” you nodded and he held you as closely as you’d allow him to. He continued speaking to you as he embraced you, “Just because the problem is fixed doesn’t mean that all the… damage he caused you are healed. It takes time and patience to let a wound heal, and he left a pretty big fuckin’ wound. I should know.”

“I thought he would go away finally. I thought that he would stop haunting me. I can’t stop thinking about what could’ve happened, what I could’ve done, what I could’ve said. I don’t even want to think about him, I just want him to leave me alone.”

“Darlin’, even though you have ghosts in your past, you shouldn’t let those ghosts affect you in the present. What happened has happened. And I don’t know about you but even though there were some hardships, I’m happy the way it turned out. Because now I have you,” He held you tighter and pressed a kiss against your forehead.

“Sam… I love you,” you said, finally coming to terms with the fact that you would need time to heal. You knew that every step of the way Sam would be there, to comfort and take care of you.

“I love you too, Darlin’... You wanna know something?” He asked you as you pulled away to look at him.

“What?”

“I think It’s pretty damn cute that you wore my coat to go fall asleep on the porch.”

“I was cold.” You told him, smiling mischievously.

“Really? So that’s why you had your arms wrapped around yourself like you were giving yourself a big hug?” He smiled as he teased you.

“Just let me have this one,” you said as you sat closer to him and cuddled into his chest.

[ghostchamber]

a taste of rejection

octavinelle boys shoot their shot and miss horrifically (PLEASE twst fandom don’t eat me alive) this little post is very short and kinda angsty so beware. i cant write that well yet ok 😳

characters included: azul, floyd, jade.

azul ashengrotto

of course. he should’ve calculated this. what was he thinking? why’d he delude himself into believing that you’d love him back? he’s such a fool.

self depreciating thoughts like that filled his mind as you continuously apologised for the cold, straightforward rejection. azul can’t help but bite his lip, arms crossed tightly like he was trying to shield himself from you. it doesn’t take long for him to excuse himself, getting up from the arrangement he specially and meticulously prepared for this occasion.

please don’t look at him like that. don’t comfort him, especially after breaking him down. he doesn’t want you to see him. he doesn’t want to see you. despite the storm building up inside him, he can’t seem to stop himself from telling you that there were no hard feelings. he can’t bring himself to support that statement the next day however, when he practically gives you the cold shoulder and stays far, far away. whether or not he allowed himself to cry the night before, you wouldn’t know.

jade leech

ah. a fault on his part. apologies, he should’ve thought more thoroughly before asking something like that of you. to be his lover. …what a silly thing to think, indeed.

jade masks his hurt perfectly and swiftly. not a moment of shock and pain crosses his expression… half a second? that’s a different story. all he knows is that he will never be able to face you the way he used to ever again. his worst fear had come true. you had his unmasked self out on full display, and there was nothing you wanted in him. no qualities you saw in him befitting of a partner. he wonders, maybe you would like him better if he was… ah, no. he knows he mustn’t think like that.

you’ll find that he’s slightly more reserved the next day. he doesn’t even seem to see you as a friend, more an acquaintance. even he can’t hide the drastic change, relying on luck and hoping you wouldn’t corner him about it. jade hates lying to people he loves, so he’d simply have to tell the truth. but a part of him hopes that you care enough to attempt to maintain that special connection you had before. however, another part of him simply wants you gone. hm, he was never the best with emotions… maybe he’d just lie to himself and say that love for you didn’t exist.

floyd leech

…ugh. now he was really in a bad mood. … this wasn’t fair. how come he had to love you, but you saw him as some rowdy guy? this sucks. you suck. no way.. he wasn’t tearing up like some heartbroken fishy.

once again, floyd leech cannot seem to control his emotions. it has always been a… problem with him. everyone avoided him because of this factor, choosing to scramble back from the eel. but you… he thought you were different. you didn’t freak out and scatter like a sardine when he appeared in a hall, instead choosing to greet him if he struck up a conversation. he thought you loved him. or at the very least, liked him. wrong.

you got on well with everyone. of course he had to take that as a sign you were a friend. the cold and harsh rejection you served him was enough to prove he was an idiot, thanks. the emphasis on why he was unloveable was more than enough, thanks. …oh who is he kidding, he wouldn’t fall for someone like that. floyd had been a hopeless romantic ever since he saw that one movie about a couple. deep down inside, he hoped it would be just like that. too bad you knocked that dream out of him so fast, because it’d be a while since he’d call another his little shrimp. floyd doesn’t even leave his room for a while, opting to curl up on his bed and delete the hundreds of photos he took of him and his ‘shrimpy.’

[xelasrecords]

Hi, I was reading your works and think you have a really good understanding of characters so I wanted to ask. Do you see any scenario in which Jumin would push MC away for her own sake? Extreme cases like if his father embezzled from the company but Jumin took the fall and had to go to prison for the maximum amount of years. Or if he lost all his wealth and couldn’t afford security anymore, but still had people after him. Would he want MC to stay with him even though he wouldn't be able to protect her/give her a "normal" life?

Your marvellous mind! This makes my brain tingle. If you see from the times he's faced with threats and his bad ends, there aren't any scenarios where he pushes his loved ones away for their protection. That's more Saeyoung. Jumin is like a dragon that hoards his precious things. The more he's threatened, the tighter his grip on his loved ones would be. His biggest fear is to lose everything he holds dear, so he builds up his security to be impenetrable.

If Jumin had to take the fall for his father's embezzlement, I think he'd set up emergency funds and security for MC and hide them away from the media before he goes to prison. He has a private island where MC can stay. These plans may even have been set up way before as a precaution. He'd try to make MC's life as comfortable as he can and hope she would wait for him to come back.

If Jumin became poor and had bad guys coming after him, it's possible that he'd go to Saeyoung for help. He's not above pleading for his lover's safety and be indebted to someone when he can't hold up a fair bargain. I'm also thinking about when he tries to give Elizabeth the Third to V because he doesn't think he's a good owner, so I'm tempted to say he could push MC away if he thought she deserved better. But even then, he can only part with his cat because he knows she'd be with someone he trusts. He is still in control.

More importantly, Elizabeth is a cat who can't choose him back on an equal stance. MC can. You know how pliant Jumin is over MC's words. If MC told him they wanted to stay with him despite everything, how long do you think it'd take before Jumin's resolve broke? Maybe they could run away and start afresh where nobody knew them. It wouldn't be surprising seeing that he takes this route in his BE2 DLC. Maybe MC could protect him instead. Maybe they could work together to protect their relationship and future.

When faced with imminent danger, Jumin snaps into ultra logical mode. So if he actually pushed MC away for their safety, it wouldn't be due to pure angst. It'd be a calculated act where he had some control over.

Also, during the RAE crisis, Jumin's confidence never falters. He still believes there's something he can do to protect the RFA and he toils away endlessly for solutions. All the while losing his job and friends and half his assets. It's this that makes me think when everything goes to hell, the only person he can trust is himself and therefore MC is the safest with him.

Jumin's selflessness isn't by giving up his lover. It's by giving everything he has to protect them even at the cost of himself.

[samantha-and-her-chaotic-desires]

The hazbin hatedom is getting out of hand for me it's really cringe. Your thoughts

I have mixed opinions on this. So beforehand, I am going to say that this is a longer post from me, and I appreciate the anonymous message! <3 I will be talking about this specific question, as well as my interpretation, thoughts, and overall feelings on this matter. Please feel free to reblog, like, and comment your opinions and keep it civil. I want to have a friendly discussion, no matter how brash I seem: this is brutal honesty coming from my heart.

For those who have ZERO clue: Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss are dark "comedy" shows for an adult audience, created by Vivienne "Vivziepop" Medrano, originally airing on YouTube. Helluva Boss is currently in its second season, while we have yet to find out anything else on Hazbin Hotel, as it is now a part of A24 and BentoBox. They center on the same setting, Hell, but have two different plot lines.

Hazbin Hotel is redemption focused, led by Princess Charlie Morningstar, the daughter of Lucifer. She wants to help the sinners in Hell become good and go up to heaven to avoid the yearly Exterminartion, aka a Purge. Helluva Boss, however, is about a murdering business called I.M.P., with Blitz, Millie, Moxxie, and Loona, going up to Earth with a grimoire that is provided by Stolas of the Ars Goetia, a prince. So here we go, into the Depths and reasoning of this post: the Hatedom. So lo and behold, my answer below.

On one hand, yes. The Hazbin Hatedom is a bit over the top. Yes, people are assholes. However, the Vivziepop stans who don't want to admit their precious senpai Vivziepop has done some pretty fucked up shit in the past. The hate can be unnecessary, but you know what else can be unnecessary? The toxic stans. I follow #vivziepop for certain analysis portrayals and criticism, or just general news. Sometimes people are tiresome. This is no exception.

I am falling out of the fandom because it can be toxic. I enjoy most of the characters, but other than that? Helluva Boss's current writing is NOT good. At all. The latest episode irked me to no end. I'm unimpressed with Seeing Stars. I am not very happy that they are forcing Stolitz down our throats as an "uwu pwease wove us" type of bullshit ship. I would much rather prefer Blitz and Stolas to be friends. I wished Stolas had his pilot personality and not the "uwu im a gay, tragic prince with a shitty wife, feel bad for me" bird we know in the series.

Moxxie in the latest episode is bitchy. He got on my nerves and was pissed at Millie being happy. This girl deserves more screentime (and I'm glad she got some of it) but seriously...Millie is always there for Moxxie, and Moxxie needs to reciprocate.

They made Stella seem stupid, when in reality, and if written properly, she can be a cunning and calculating villain with her brother. We've yet to see how Octavia and Stella interact, but I'm unsure.

I have definitely tried to keep my mouth shut as much as I could on this matter, because when I finally openly admit how I feel, it's not a pretty thing, especially with something that I'm so passionate about. Animation takes time, writing takes time, scripting, acting, everything takes so much time, and this is wasted potential. We can have so much better than just a fan-ficcy type rom-com, dark humor, sexual humor schtick. It's getting annoying, and I fear the worst when it comes to Hazbin Hotel.

Criticism is welcome here! Let me know what I left out. I'm willing to hear other opinions, so long as they're nice. If anons start flooding my inbox and getting mad, anons are off. Anon is a privilege, not a right.

[steampunkforever]

Dune Part 2 is once more proof that Denis Villeneuve is an incredibly calculating director. And it should be good. He's been storyboarding Dune since the 80s. Of course Zack Snyder also released a film recently that'd been his passion project since before he was making movies, and Rebel Moon sucked, so that's clearly not a metric for success, but you get my point.

Right on the heels of releasing the phenomenal Sicario, Villeneuve got the keys to Dune. This is a moonshot take the money and run opportunity. I love this type of film. One of those "They may never let me do this again" movies like Magnolia or (to a lesser extent) Apocalypse Now! that build on previous success to sucker studio funding for something you really want to do. Usually this involves jumping to it and spending as much money as possible before accounting changes its mind about sending all those blank checks, but Denis was just as calculating as ever with it.

Adapting two more scifi properties at differing scales was the right idea for this, both allowing for more time to develop Dune and for Villeneuve to find his footing with less ambiguous science fiction (considering that my friends who watched Enemy barely understood it to be about aliens). Villeneuve is calculating. His steps are measured, and I've yet to see a film of his that feels outright rushed.

I think that this is in part due to Villeneuve's understanding that he is (at least up until the release of Dune) not part of a generation of directors who get whatever they want. This generation of director has been waning for a long time, but Nolan and Tarantino really mark the last generation of directors allowed to experiment on blank checks no matter if their last film flopped. Zack Snyder is also technically ranked among them but his decade-long slump is clearly an outlier. Villeneuve has to put out solid movies to earn the right to take creative risks, and Dune has clearly been another measured step in his film career. Which is to say that Dune Part 2 is fantastic.

I have a deeply nuanced relationship with Dune screen adaptations, so do note that there is some bias here, but regardless, this is a wonderful film. Did I wish they'd stuck to their guns and shown Alia for real? Did I kind of hope they kept it to just two films instead of the projected 3+ that are sure to come? Am I still outraged that they didn't recast Sting? Of course. But when it all boils down, this film is a science fiction accomplishment that you SHOULD go see.

The set design, sound design, acting, and cinematography were all top notch. There was rarely anything in this film I did not love (read: Timothee, my archnemesis). Of particular note were Pugh, Ferguson, and Bardem's performances. Bardem's Stilgar was an absolute delight, and I found myself losing the fact that he was acting in his performance. The plot, spectacle, and inclusion of Christopher Walken all sold me on the film.

Another detail that was clear evidence of Villeneuve's extremely calculated process was Zendaya's role as Chani in Part 2. Chani (largely sidelined in the books after showing up partway) is positioned as sort of the soapbox character to remind you that colonialism is bad at predetermined intervals. And while this is certainly not a choice I would've made for the character (I prefer to do my soapboxing in different parts of the text) I can't help but find that I didn't hate Chani's direction in the film. This is in spite of the fact that I detest Soapbox characters (except for in Spike Lee films. Love you Spike Lee) and find their usage lazy. Somehow it works for me here, even if it could've been more subtly rolled into the narrative. Man I'm really reaching for nitpicks, I should go back to demanding they show me a creepy toddler Alia.

Anyway if Sting was the one fighting Timothee's Paul that twink would get stabbed to death so hard you have no idea.

[catwalkvivi]

well hey, since hardly anyone's looking at this corner of the website anyway I might as well take the opportunity to vent (it's annoying to do it on twitter with the character cap)

Man, social media is hard.

I see so many people posting regular content consistently for years and years without even seemingly breaking a sweat, while it's always been so difficult for me... Calculating engagement, deciding the best times to post, or, hell, even just sharing what they think/feel/made/fucking ate that day just seems, like, so easy and second nature for pretty much everyone around me. It's genuinely incredible to me that somebody can share what they've learned about idk shitty impractical tanks made in WW1 on this website and make it such an interesting read that hundreds of people engage with it!

But I've tried keeping social media accounts for art and stuff so many times now, on here, on Instagram, on Artstation, on Xitter, and eventually it just- kinda- fades away, it just feels so exhausting to keep track of all the things necessary to Chase the Algorhythm™ if you wanna have any relevancy. Is it a charisma thing??? Where do I grind to get a stat boost on my Cha???

I'd love to say it doesn't matter to me, since I've been drawing shit for myself for years now, but unfortunately artists do need social media presence if they wanna get work. Not to mention, well, I wanna reach people with the stuff I do! I want people to react to what I made, to say what they liked about it, or how it made them feel, and then when I post something I worked on for hours only to get, like, almost zero visibility? idk, man, it just kinda hurts. It's probably selfish and immature for me to say it, I know that it takes time and effort to build an audience and all that, but damn I get happy when people show me that something I've made has affected them positively. I like the connection, I like the conversations, I like meeting people who enjoy the same nerdy trash that I do!

(I was very fortunate to have an art post of mine reach a lot of notes here years ago, which was amazing, but it's such a rare thing)

God, and, like, there's all these weird unspoken rules about interacting on social media too.

The other day a friend of mine came up to our friend group and was like "oh my god this girl liked my stories on instagram it means something does she like me" and I was SO confused and then they were like "well, when somebody not on your friends list likes your stories, it means they're interested in you"

Then some time later another friend was telling me that somebody stopped liking her posts and unfriended her and how that is a horrible offense and my fucking brain hurt, like- okay I get the unfriend part kinda but there could be a hundred reasons for it??? it's not like you have a deep personal connection to all 300 friends you have on your account???

Then I see so many people out there simply sharing something they think or did only to have some rando twist what they said and come at them like they're the shittiest person on the planet that deserves everything bad in life actually (except the ones that are willingly spouting/promoting hateful shit to begin with. Those can rot in hell and I shall not mourn their demise)

Like??? It might be the Power of Autism™ in me but it always feels like I'm one step away from either making a fool of myself or offending twenty different people or both. It's both the fear of having hundreds of thousands of eyes on me and the fear of having none at all. And that makes it really difficult to share anything on the internet for me. I already have to deal with my entire existence as a trans woman making some cunts around the world mad, it sucks that I have to risk it in places where I just wanna post dumb drawings and talk about dumb things that make me happy with others.

I dunno. Word vomit I guess. Social media is hard. Interacting with humans is hard. Sharing stuff is hard. I prefer Pokémon

[myriadparacosm]

Sirius Black discovering otome/dating games through Mary when she brings some kind of muggle invention and becoming obsessed over it because he just wants to date everyone once but never manages to because he feels like cheating over his favorite one: the "book-lover that looks like a cinnamon roll but promises a treat if you can shut your mouth one bloody minute".

It's his guilty pleasure and he hides it from everyone, even James because he just knows he will want to date the tenebrous and bitchy character - which is the worst choice in Sirius' opinion.

Sirius has to share because Regulus, they are on better term but his brother is still a twat, discovers him on one of his secret outing and becomes as obsessed over the game as well. The whole perspective of choices, interactions based on how you play and the different variations of a dialogue or endings (not that they ever reached one) makes him too curious for his own good so he wants to do it all.

They fight over who they want to date, the choice of clothes and the dialogues. Sirius wants to pick the funniest or at least the more natural answers while Regulus calculates which one is the best even if it just sounds weird and out of character.

Once they manage to create a schedule, because Regulus won't leave Sirius alone, they share the game properly but they always erase the save of the other because they can't agree on the love interest. They use the excuse of "brother bonding time" to justify how many times they disappear together.

Sirius is very shocked to see Regulus always going after the guy always happy and laughing who speaks too much about sports, despite saying that the lack of glasses is a very bad choice, when he complains Regulus tells him that at least his boyfriend doesn't look like a wet overgrowth stick.

Let's just say whatever progress they have made on their relationship is thrown out of the window concerning their false boyfriends.

Regulus starts to make charts, billions of parchment, to catalog all the informations about the characters. He notes down all dialogues options and their hypothetical impact over the story and the characters they want to date with. He brings them over to argument over their choices and the sheer logic of it before hitting Sirius with it when he ignores it.

They lose their mind when they manage to get a date with a random character but they decide to go for it "to prepare themselves when they have the date they want to" . For it they plan a whole day alone free of any distraction, Sirius has taken on the habit to keep the Marauders' map to be sure no one finds him.

Regulus barely focuses on class and keeps checking the charts and memorizes every single details. Sirius prepares himself like he is going on a real date but like he might die if he isn't looking perfect, which confuses his friends because he tell them he is "spending time with Reggie".

Both actually agree on an outfit for their character that satisfies the both of them and Sirius actually remembers what kind of things the character likes so they are so ready. They are holding hands the whole time and stops breathing when the date starts - which is abruptly cancelled by their love interest upon noticing their outfit with the argument of 'you aren't what I expected'.

They don't take it well.

[difeisheng]

the thing about xiao hua in the lost tomb 2 is that i would argue he's the most ruthless of all the live-action versions (at least so far). he's the one dealing with the ugly underbelly of what it means to be head of the xies, the one onscreen telling the rest of his family to fuck off or die because he won't walk away or go down without a fight. he moves quickly and cleanly and he kills people without blinking if the situation is severe enough to warrant it.

but he's also the version of xiao hua who smiles the most and genuinely means it. whether it's at his men who've stayed by his side, or at wu xie who he beams at from the first time they're onscreen together and never stops looking out for him, or at zhai xingyao, the brother who he's kept safe enough to have his back. he's got all the gravity of the burdens he's had to carry his entire life, but he still finds enjoyment in the simplest ritual of sitting in his courtyard watching opera performances on his laptop. xiao hua has restraint and control and he can click his emotions on and off like a light switch if he must, though with the emotions he's willing to share, he's so easy with making them known.

adding onto this, there's a passage from book canon that i feel is crucial to understanding xiao hua's character, and it's from volume 7 (from wu xie's pov):

“Are you a good person or one of the bad ones?” I asked.

“What do you think?” He looked at me and sighed. “Do you think a good man, upon hearing that his childhood playmate’s life and death was uncertain, would still ignore it and finish his own business first?

(...) "Do you know how many times I did such things before? I often wondered if I didn’t listen to my grandfather and went back immediately, would those people still be alive?” He also smiled. “You can’t have friends once you think like that, because you know you can’t go back and save them. If you became friends with someone and this happened, then you’d be sad. So to prevent that and be able to abandon others with ease, I decided I couldn’t be friends with anyone. It sounds a bit melodramatic, doesn’t it?”

I didn’t know how to answer him, so I just chuckled a few times.

“But these were my thoughts when I was a child.” He said. “Now that I’m older, I’ve figured a few things out.” He sighed and raised the wine bottle and motioned to me, “So, Little Master Three. With me here, you have to take care of yourself.”

(quoted from the Merebear translation)

although tlt2 xiao hua is younger than he is in this section of the books (this exchange takes place while him and wu xie are at mount siguniang, or the last arc of ultimate note), he's a xiao hua who's already been through the change his book counterpart describes in the passage. he's made it forward in reckoning with what he does in his life, and he doesn't consider himself a saint by any means for it, but he's found what happiness he can still make room for and save despite all that. i'm glad that tlt2 gave us a xiao hua who looks like he's gone through that realization, and let him shine in who he is after coming out the other side, not only in his own sideplot but also in his interactions with the other main characters.

one of my favourite moments in tlt2 is from the last battle against the jade(?) warrior, when one of xiao hua's men dies (i'm so sorry i can't remember his name) and he's angry. how xiao hua wields his anger is typically cold, calculated, he only lets a hint of it show because the self-control is more terrifying to watch than full displeasure. this time he's fully expressing genuine rage, and i think it's the most unrestrained we ever see xiao hua with it in any adaptation. one of his people died, someone he cared about and wasn't afraid to show it, and so whoever is responsible is going to lose his life next. and it's beautiful.

tl;dr i adore how tlt2 xiao hua is characterized and how that characterization drew on his book journey, even though this adaptation introduces him at a slightly younger age. hats off to everyone involved

[kahlanmars]

BAD FEELING part. 11

HERE WE ARE. Sorry, I started working and it's not the easiest thing for me to describe action. But here we are!

The gif is not mine but also this time, due to the lack of Haymitch, the gif is Perla!

MASTERLIST

11. A katniss to die

You didn’t calculate you would have to walk that much. You think once or twice that maybe - maybe - the shark wasn’t the worst option.

Or the careers.

Or Clark.

Or you could just ask Perla, who you can feel is slightly irritated by your slow walking pace, to end your misery. It is not actually your fault if you don’t have a muscular bone in your body and she is a tall, fit, beautiful girl. 

Stupid promise to that blue eyed devil he is waiting for you at home. You hope you don’t risk this blue eyed girl, or she doesn’t betray you. 

«I wonder where Lora is.» You really wonder. You can’t help but remember her big eyes. She is little, she is younger, she needs to be protected. 

Just try to hold on for the first few days. If this is true, you can save them too, and that means you have to find Lora, and stop feeling guilty because Perla could be better off without you to slow her down.

«We will find her.» She tries to reassure you. You don’t know why Perla is so patient with you, it can’t be only because Finnick said to her to form an alliance. Perla is the perfect career: she is beautiful, resourceful and a great character. You ask yourself why she wants to be in an alliance with you. Is it because her mentor and your mentor are friends? They didn’t seem so friendly before, at the parade.  

The caves are not the right place to walk, you decide, and she must agree because District 4 is full of beaches and not mountains. You see she trips and stumbles sometimes, and she is still faster than you. So you don’t complain and you drag yourself behind her.

Mom must be watching, and Haymitch, Portia and Effie too. Given that there is probably a camera down there, you wave and stop Perla.

«We want to find Lora because we formed an alliance.» You explain. She looks at you like you are crazy, of course she already knows what you are trying to do.

«Who are you talking to?»

«Capitol.» You point at a weird light, that is most probably a hidden camera. She frowns. «They want to know what we are doing!»

You are not sure, and nobody in the history of the games has ever done that, but you think it’s a good idea. You tend to empathise with someone who tells you a story, and you already are Princess Daisy.

«…And find water.» She convinces herself. «We want to find water. Caves tend to fall.»

Especially artificial ones. You know if there won’t be an entertaining plot in the caves they will make a shake. They may do this if you don’t meet any other tribute for days, they want a blood bath.  

«She is great. Fitter and faster than me!» Well she is. Perla has used to swim all her life, and it shows. You wonder if everyone in District 4 is stunning or just her and Finnick Odair. You think about how you never saw Mag’s games, you have never seen her young.

«She is resourceful.»

She gets it. She gets that people are watching and you have to put up a show. It is good to have her as an ally, she is intelligent. Maybe too intelligent, you have to consider you could be the only two alive sooner or later.

After a long walk, you finally spot a trickle of water and you both run to it. Something, maybe Holly at home, maybe your brain, immediately tells you to stop right there.

«Water!» Perla yells, but you are more cautious. Everything could be a trap. In Haymitch’s games all the beautiful flowers, the grass, the trees were poisonous, and that was a Quarter Quell too.

You did your research between kisses.

«Perla wait!» You take her by an arm just before she could touch it, you have a very, very bad feeling about this. «Let’s try something that is not our body first.»

You take a piece of fabric from your t-shirt and you toss it in the water, only to watch it burn almost in the blink of an eye.

«Well… shit.» Perla says astonished, making you laugh. It could have been her arm, or at least her finger.

«Shit indeed.» You roll your eyes. It’s clear you have to go to the ice if you want to drink, so you huff and proceed to walk again.

«Now we are even.» The brown haired girl adds after a minute. You don’t get it at first, but she keeps going. «I saved you from the shark, you saved me from the water. Now we are even.»

She looks different from the bright girl you saw the last time. She was almost happy, always smiling. You wonder if Snow paid a visit to her too, if he made her something she didn’t want to do. A killing? Or the thing Haymitch feared the most at the first party?

Why are you not so affected by the death of a man? He was a terrible person and you honestly think he is better off, but you killed him, you became a murderer. You literally had blood on your hands. It really doesn’t affect you? You are that cold blooded? 

«If we have to keep a score we are not allies. I like you Perla, I want you to win if I can’t.» You clarify, and it’s true. You want Perla or Lora to win, if there is a winner. You can’t shake the words of Prim, Effie and Haymitch, tho. Maybe something will happen, maybe they know something they can’t share. What does it mean “You are not collateral damage anymore”? If there is only a single chance to get out of the arena alive you need to bring the girls with you. 

«To win we need water.» She changes the subject. Of course, she doesn’t want you to win. She wants to win and you can’t blame her, she probably has a family to keep alive too.

«We really need water!» You reclaim, maybe Haymitch is listening. If he is not giving you water there are two possibilities: either the water is near to you or he wants you to say or do something before it. Or, but you try not to think about that, you don’t have any sponsors and he doesn’t have any money.

You don’t even comprehend how the sponsors could get something in a cave, but you trust there is a way. Sponsors give too much money not to be used, it’s a great part of the hunger games.

«Maybe we need to find Lora. If she is in danger…»

«She is cunning, you know? She’s little, but she’s courageous.» You don’t know, you realise. You have been caught up in your perfect romance fantasy and you didn’t put enough attention on the other tributes. 

Not that your life depends on it.

«We don’t have anything better to do, let’s find Lora.» 

After hours you two didn’t find her, or anyone for what matters. It seems a little odd. 

«It’s impossible to lose the road, right?» You ask her, a puzzled look on your face. She must have the same thought, because she doesn’t know what to say.

«I think so?»

You can spot something between the rocks. It’s a flower… a plant? Plants. You run into them and you watch them clearly.

«That’s Sagittaria. It’s edible. Do you have something we can use to cut it? We can eat them. It’s a water plant. I always liked the flowers when I was little.» 

«A water plant? In a cave?» Perla looks at you like you are a talking dragon. She is not wrong. 

Holly used to lecture you about plants, she was obsessed about them. Every day after school she dragged you in the woods and explained to you every use for them, what plants are poisonous and which you can eat or clean wounds with. And she used to say “Find a katniss and you will never starve”. 

Sagittaria, a katniss plant. 

A Katniss plant.

«They must have… put that in there.» You take a step back.

The plant looks okay, like any other katniss that could be in the water, the flowers are white and light pink, it’s like always. Still.

There is no way this is not a trick, and you don’t know much, but you strongly suspect it’s from President Corioulanous Snow in person. A Katniss to save, a katniss to kill. It’s a strong message: she couldn’t save you, she killed someone and what a coincidence the girl from her district. Snow is definitely laughing right now. 

You would have done that, if you were him. It’s a coup de théatre.

«We should come back later.» You suddenly say, forcing a smile. Maybe you are paranoid, but you don’t want to risk it. «To eat the plant.»

You are not eating that, but you remember well how your mentor ended up with no family and no girlfriend because he was smarter than Capitol. 

Perla, truth to be told, is witty. «When we will have a backpack.»

«When we will have a backpack!» You assure.

Less than five minutes of walking to the ice later you hear a scream and a gong.

Now, is stupid to run into the screams, you are well aware, but the voice is Lora’s voice. You are sure of that.

You run faster than life, your fear of the caves forgotten, and Perla is right behind you.

«Lora!»

In front of you there is a scene so gore you almost cannot watch it. The other tribute from District Eleven is dead in a pool of blood that comes from his mouth. 

Lora still has the plants in her hands, and you take them from her to toss it on the ground. 

«Are you okay? Did you eat something?» You ask her frantically, watching her and touching her face in suspect of something weird on her body. 

She looks shocked, maybe she was friends with the other tribute, but she shakes her head. «No, I was about to but… no.» 

You almost faint in relief. «Dear Heavens, girl. You scared me to death.»

You put her in a hug. She takes your embrace gladly. «He died so quickly…»

«Lucky him.» You can’t help but comment.

You almost miss the sound of something in the rock. When you look closely at the wall you find a little box.

«It’s a gift!» You say enthusiastically to the other girls. You open it and there is a bottle of water and a note.

Genius, pretty girl.

H

You pass the bottle to Perla and you mouth a silent “Thank you” to your mentor. You really, really want to add an “I love you” for the sake of the comedy, but you think he could just have a heart attack in front of the television.

«So it’s real?» Perla asks, around the small fire. It’s so so cold in the caves, so it’s mandatory to have a fire. You have a rock in your hand just in case someone will spot the light, which is a very real possibility. You know your mentor is shouting at the television right now, but you don’t stand a chance without a heat.

Lora somehow managed to take a backpack with her, she survived the bloodbath. Crazy girl. But in the pack there are matches, and that might save your life, so Lora is saving your life. That little, younger girl with a heart shaped face and big eyes is saving your life.

«What is real?»

«You and your mentor!» Lora adds, smiling like a baby. You tend to forget she is younger, brighter than you, not already broken.

«Yeah, kind of… Please.» You blurt out, your face red like a tomato due to the embarrassment. You don’t know what you can tell, it’s not like you are having lunch with your friends in a pause from work in the District, this is national television. Haymitch is watching. Dear Grace, your mother is watching.

«I think you are cute! C’mon, I probably won’t ever have love, let me dream! You found it in the Hunger Games! Must be a District 12 perk, you people are really romantic.»

You scuff. Yes, very romantic.

«Maybe you will, maybe you will win.» You run your hand through her hair, feeling a little protective towards the young adult. «Let me see, what could I say to you without embarrassing my mom… he is really strong. When you, well, when I kiss him or hug him I feel so protected, like he is a shield from the world. I like his beard, he is so sexy. And he smells like the woods!» And liquor, but you don’t feel like sharing that part. 

«So he is like a tree!» Perla comments, making you laugh.  

«Like the most handsome tree in the whole forest.» You daydream in a light voice, and when you realise what you just said in front of all Panem you blush and try to hide your face.

«Ooh, you are really in looove!» They make fun of you, almost like the three of you are friends and not competitors.

That is so embarrassing. You pictured your games to be ruthless, to be cruel, maybe more blood but you weren’t sure about the embarrassment part.

«Oh, shut up.» You put yourself better against the wall, since you are taking the first turn to guard. «Do you have anyone?»

Lora shakes her head, looking a little sad. Given where she is she has all the rights to be. «No, I am kinda busy in the District. And I’m only nineteen years old, so… I guessed I had time.»

You will, you really want to say. Instead you watch Perla, who has a guilty face on her.

«Can’t really say anything.»

Finnick Odair? You hope, he is handsome. Not quite as Haymitch, but certainly a good looking man. 

«You can’t let me die with a secret!» You argue, but she dismisses you with a laugh, and the two of you share a meaningful glance.

Maybe we won’t die.

«Time to sleep little one.» You scold Lora and she closes her eyes, like she is not as adult as you are. Maybe she enjoys someone who mothers her. You quickly remember your mentor’s voice that recommends not to be a hero for someone weaker than you.

You mouth “I miss you”  to Haymich, and you realise you almost survived the first night.

[silverbladexyz]

Can you do Kaeya with a character who has a traumatic past and like how he comforts them?

Hello there! Thank you for requesting 💗 Reader's past isn't specified, and this is my first time writing for him, so sorry if it's bad :')

The image does not belong to me. It belongs to its original owner.

TW: Mentions of trauma

Kaeya comforting reader with a traumatic past (platonic)

-I think how he comforts you actually depends on how close you are with him

-If you are only acquaintances, Kaeya will most likely offer you some words of support, letting you know that he's more than happy to be there for you even if he didn't know you that well

-But let's say that you are good friends with him. Kaeya as a friend is fun, charming, witty, interesting, and never fails to make you laugh and keep you hooked in a conversation

-It isn't long before he knows nearly all of your secrets; he has a charm that makes people tell him everything without a lot of effort from him. While he may tease you a bit on some of your more embarrassing secrets, he won't use them for any bad stuff

-But one thing you never told him was your traumatic past. While you loved him almost like a brother, there are some things that even the closest siblings don't share with each other. Whenever somebody brought up the topic of your past, you merely deflected the question with a well-constructed lie that pretty much satisfied most people

-Kaeya isn't fooled by your lies; he does the same too whenever his past is brought up. He notices how you slightly avoid eye contact when you lie, and he also notices how your voice wavers just the slightest bit when it is almost unnoticeable

-As we all know, he is an expert at reading people, so after a few interactions and observations, he is pretty much able to deduce that you had a traumatic past of some sort, and you wanted to keep it hidden from everyone else

-He won't ask you or pry too much about your past. He himself had a pretty traumatising one as well, and he knows perfectly well how things like these were preferred to be kept a secret. However, just because you might not tell him doesn't mean that he couldn't do anything to help you. After he's figured it out, he'll just slightly, slightly, be more softer around you, and might even aid you with some more of your stuff

-Kaeya will also spend more time around you too. You were going to take on a commission? Nice, he's going with you too. You needed help? He's there to support you and help you. You needed some advice? Ask no more, because Kaeya is full of some of the best advice in Mondstadt. It is basically his way of telling you that he's there for you, even if it's hidden in the most common actions such as always remembering to check up on you and indirectly complimenting you more as well

-It is most likely you that will tell him about your past, when you are finally ready. You see, even when Kaeya doesn't want to ask you in fear that you'll be upset, part of him is still curious on what had happened to you way before you met him

-So when you finally tell him, he's unusually silent. The teasing and calculating side of him is gone; instead, you see a much softer and empathetic Kaeya, that not even his other friends in the Knights of Favonius had the privilege of seeing

-He is a smooth talker with a silver tongue, yet each word that falls out of his mouth now is genuine. Kaeya still keeps his usual light and clear voice, but it is laced with comfort and love akin to that of a brother

'Hey... I know it's been tough for you. You didn't deserve to go through all of that. Nobody does. But I'm proud of you, you know that? Despite what you've went through, despite having faced all sorts of horrible and unspeakable things, you still fought on. Like a true warrior. And please, talk to me if you are ever in need of a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to. Afterall, what am I if I can't even help my dear friend and drinking buddy?~ Alright, jokes aside, what I'm saying is that you don't have to deal with this alone. I'll be here for you, always.'

-He'll lightly put his hand on your shoulder and give it a small reassuring squeeze. His fingers are slightly cold; they're always cold due to his cryo vision, but the smile that he's giving you is warm and gentle

-After that, Kaeya is still his usual self around you, but he is slightly more protective of you. He doesn't want you to go through even more pain that you've already experienced, so safe to say that he'll be hanging around with you more now. Even if he's away for a mission, he'll still ask someone to make sure that you were safe

-His presence was something that you look forward to more everyday now; just knowing that he will always be there when you need him lights a beacon in your once dark world

-You couldn't have met another friend that was like Kaeya. And Kaeya could say the same about you too

So how did I go with writing Kaeya's personality? He's kind of a hard character for me to grasp, but feel free to leave advice for improvement :)

@circinuus @chuuyas-beloved @dazaiyohane @overlysour @i-just-like-goats