#I think maybe being the least favourite child in both my real family and this one has irrevocably fucked me up

[thursdayg1rl]

realising that I need to be chosen at least once in my life or I will literally die and that is not an exaggeration

[relax-and-read-on]

Mortarion is my favourite boy, so can i please get various shipping headcanons? (the boy needs a hug from Sanguinius complete with wings wrapping around him)

Oh honey you just hit my FAV poor lil meow meow!!!

Mortarion, and how he would work in various ships (chaos edition)

Magnus: Magnus/Morty is the most delicious enemy to lover. There is a thousand possible scenario for those two! Magnus seeking the second most powerful psycher in the family, Mortarion having to deal with witches... There is so much things to write about them! They would balance each other quite nicely too, with Magnus hopeful optimism and Mortarion pragmatism coming up to a more even result. Tho, I think my all time fav scenario, of how they could get together, is this: what if as a child, Mortarion send out a psychic distress signal as he was abused by Necare? And what if that signal was picked up by kid magnus, and a strange, long distance relationship started?

Alpharius Omegon: The hardest one for me to figure out. I can see them being fascinated by how unwillingly Mort is being used by the Imperium, or maybe them being assigned together in the hope their tactic rub off on Mortarion and he get less causality. Sorry, I'm running a bit dry here.

Horus: Horus is, canonically, one of the two primarch Mort has any attachment too. I usually see them as having more of a big bro/lil bro relationship, but it could easily be Mortarion pinning away at him too. Or Horus having that sweet secret romance! You can add some drama to it, and make it so that Mortarion is *Horus* side pieces, and he feel like trash about it. He wants! To be loved!

Angron: Mortarion has the best apothecary, and hate slavery. The Emperor could have given him to Mort in an attempt to help, and I feel like,at the very least, Morty would have been able to find drugs good enough to calm him down a bit, or ease his pain a bit. Angron would have probably seen a friend too in Mortarion, someone that was chained to the Imperium, and who also held no illusion toward their role.

Lorgar: You have unlocked my secret fav crackpair hehe. It's actually, so, so easy to ship them: you make Mort realise that Kor is a piece of shit. Mortarion, with his hatred of abusive dad, would start to do everything to protect Lorgar. And our sweet Urizen would look at him with bug eyes like "is this affection?? I now love you mind, body and soul." They would be a violently intense pairing, that swing between wild fight and incredible tenderness. And if you want to add spice? Lorgar can worship him, as someone choose by nurgle. Nurgle, being a deity of fertility on Colchis, would probably mean sexy time, wich would make their relationship EXTRA messy. All in all, 11/10 one of my fav.

Fulgrim: Fulgrim/Mort is actually really not that far fetch! First of all, they both adore Konrad, so that is a nice starting point. Following that, you basically just need them to sleep together once. Fulgrim, being himself, would make it the most amazing of time, and poor touch starved Morty would be hooked. Completely smitten. Not only that, but while he thing that all the fancy manners of Fulgrim might be for show, he would absolutely respect his working man background and admire his talent at making things. Fulgrim would also adore plumping him up, and pampering this poor, broken soul.

Perturabo: Another one of my guilty pleasure! Take the two big bitter resentful bastard, and see what happen!!! They would annoy the hell out of each others, and yet, they are SO similar. I want Perturabo to talk about birds, while Mortarion show him rare flowers. I want them to be their best and their worst together. The kind that hurt one another, but can't stay away. Toxic in all the right way.

... and Konrad: Listen. LISTEN. If GW is gonna write in the codex that those two are best friends, and then NEVER MAKE THEM INTERACT.... Then it's free real estate, I don't care. They are besty. They know each others secret hobbies. Mortarion enjoy Konrad weird bones craft, and Konrad is touched by the array of carnivorous plants he's gifted with. They cuddles, because no one really get them like each others. They have this tense friendship, like so many queer youngster had. The one were you aren't sure if it's friendship or attraction, were you kind if want to kiss the other, but knowing that it would change everything between you two, you stay put. They see each others at their worst, and only love the other more for it. I adore them. My precious.

I'll come with a loyalist list soon ;)

[sflow-er]

Get to know me tag game

Thank you for the tag @putnamcapital! I had a really intense day today and this was a nice distraction.

Do you make your bed?

Yes. The bedroom looks and feels cluttered with the pillows and bedspread piled up on the chair, and I don't like that at all. Also, I feel like the sheets get icky sooner if I leave the bed unmade. I don't know if there's any truth to it, but the feeling is compelling enough.

What's your favourite number?

I prefer even numbers for some reason, and my faves are 8 and 12.

What is your job?

I'm a self-employed translator of factual texts. Articles, websites, brochures, instructions for use, etc.

If you could go back to school, would you?

Maybe. I was always interested in medicine but didn't take all the science courses in high school that I would've needed to study it in uni, so if I had infinite resources... Yeah, I could see myself going back to do those damn courses and then applying to study medicine.

It's an incredibly unrealistic scenario, though. I have neither the means to study full-time nor the energy to do it alongside work and other adult responsibilities. I also don't know if I could muster the motivation for another uni degree even if it was in a field I liked.

Can you parallel park?

In theory, yes. But the town where I learned to drive had a very small population and ample parking space, so I never needed to do it for real, and I haven't even had a car at my disposal since moving to the city (seventeen years ago this autumn).

A job you had that would surprise people?

Hmm, well, I was an extra on a TV show once! The gig was only a few days, but it was interesting to see the process and compare it to the final product.

Do you think aliens are real?

In the sense of there being other life in the universe, yes. Absolutely. In the sense of them abducting people, no. Definitely not.

Can you drive a manual car?

Yes, that's the norm in my country.

What's your guilty pleasure?

Fanfic. I also have a few embarrassing comfort movies (that I'm not going to name) and about 30 seasons of Survivor under my belt, so...no shortage of guilty pleasures here.

Tattoos?

Alas, no. I always wanted one but could never come up with a design/subject I was 100% sure of.

Favourite colour?

Red, green and dark grey. My least favourite colours are orange, yellow and purple (yeah, that makes me a terrible YR fan, I know).

Favourite type of music?

I'm one of those people who got stuck on the music of their formative years, which for me was alt rock from the 2000s (and a little bit from the 2010s). So, that. I do also listen to some later artists but the bar is much higher for them to become my favourites.

Do you like puzzles?

I love puzzles. Not necessarily jigsaw puzzles as I don't have anywhere to put those (or crossword puzzles as I'm surprisingly bad at those), but I do love games with puzzles in general (video games, escape rooms, board games that require some deduction...).

Any phobias?

Serious case of arachnophobia. I'm also afraid of bugs, clowns and (sadly) dogs, but I wouldn't say any of those fears are severe enough to count as phobias.

Favourite childhood sport?

Lol no. I hated sports as a child.

Do you talk to yourself?

Yes, on occasion.

What movies do you adore?

There are too many to list specific titles! I enjoy speculative fiction (scifi, fantasy, horror if it's not too gory), animated films, historical fiction, adventure, good comedy and some drama. I don't watch many realistic adult dramas or biopics unless I'm particularly interested in the filmmaker or subject matter. My least favourite genres are generic action, war, and anything focused on cars or sports.

Coffee or tea?

I love both but mostly drink coffee.

What was the first thing you wanted to be growing up?

Writer, I believe. Someone in my extended family claims I once said 'president' when they asked all of us cousins what we wanted to be, but I have no recollection of that.

No pressure tags: @scatteredpiecesofme @plantbasedfish @silvagrey @bluedalahorse @willedeservesbetter @palehottubchild and anyone else who wants to participate! I feel like I've seen a lot of answers already and I know I've also missed a bunch, so, sorry if that was you. And if any of you don't feel like playing, no worries whatsoever! 💜

[yvtro]

imo the more interesting tim&jason dynamic /is/ the "they're only like 2 years apart" one (esp wrt "jason was tim's robin"? seems (to me) to have more potential if it's like "this kid who is my age is doing cool shit, I want to do cool shit like them, because they're my age and that hits close to home") personally am genuinely unsure why "tim is a poor little meow meow" seems to be more popular despite how it fucks both their characterizations lol

i will answer to both of you here, as it's related to the same post!

just in case i want to say that there's plenty of aspects of tim's storyline that have lots of potential. and there certainly could be an interesting one involving jason too. alas.

i think in general fanon tim is just a poor little meow meow. it's really ironic how when he was introduced, the writers wanted to make him more "likable" than jay, and they didn't want batman to play a full-time dad, so in place of jay's insecurity and need for parental love tim gets two living parents and is, for the most part, self-assured. there's some canon progression which disturbs this status quo of course, but it's fanon that turned his storyline into one about neglect.

so apparently all writers should have done to make the new robin a fan favourite was keeping jason's struggles and just making tim wealthy. real "what's cool when you're rich but trash when you're poor?" moment. having attachment issues, apparently.

and don't get me wrong, there is place for meta about tim's parents being neglectful, even if the creators originally wanted to achieve the opposite. but i find the extent to which fanon pushes this idea and makes it his sole source of personality a bit astonishing, especially that canon tim, for the most part, doesn't share any of these issues. and personally, his initial motivations that stem from his fascination with vigilantism seem much more appealing to me.

as you said: "this kid who is my age is doing cool shit, I want to do cool shit like them, because they're my age and that hits close to home." maybe it's a bit simplified, but tim being just a child who gets himself into something much bigger than himself without really realising the consequences – and essentially both traumatising himself as a result (while also finding family, one does not exclude another) is a pretty fascinating concept.

and like. canon tim is plenty weird about jason, okay. so i think their confrontation at some point would be interesting. and probably awkward.

btw we don't actually get to see jason and tim's first interactions after jay's resurrection. i said it before, but for christ's sake, the teen titans tower incident is no longer canon, and for a good reason, especially that in that era jason is portrayed as having a psychotic break and tim hates his guts and calls him deranged?

how do you derive an enemy to caretaker trope from this is beyond me tbh. it sounds good in theory, right, because it refers to jay's inherent kindness, but you do have to make them "enemies" in the first place, or at least jason the aggressor – which you need to follow the ableist storyline for (i really doubt jason would actually care about tim much if he was more stable, and he definitely wouldn't want to hurt him), and all i can ask is: why. find something new.

i don't know, if there's any actually interesting tim & jason fanfics that don't follow these cliches you should let me know, because the majority of the tag definitely isn't for me.

[ds0408]

ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER DESERVES JUSTICE

OK so like I was just thinking what on earth could ever get harry to name his freaking child after the man who hates, and I mean hates him, and the only decent thing he has done to that boy is not killing him before the 'dark lord' gets to him? The guy who only helped him one last time because he had if his mother's freaking eyes. But like what if Ginny named him? Like just listen, OK so James Sirius Potter was named after Harry's Father / Father figures, right? Cause like Sirius has never practically tried to kill him and yeah we also require justice for Hagrid but like that's another topic completely, anyway both these people meant something to Harry, something he valued, even though he never met James in real life, he had Sirius and Remus tell him enough stories about him right? So technically that makes sense Albus Severus Potter was named after one dude that harry tried to look up to through his years and like genuinely put him up on a higher pedestal than Dumbledore deserved but like he still always saw him in good light, even though Albus quite literally brought him up like a lamb ready to be slaughtered, but he still valued the man right? But what has Severus ever done for him? Exactly nothing, zilch, Nada, except for his last words being "You have your mother's eyes" which literally he could tell himself just by looking in the mirror, or even talking to someone who even saw his mother once? And getting to my point what if after Ginnys first year and all the trauma she of course will get nightmares, but Ginny is a Weasley so she won't ask for help, and even if she did, she thought it would make her seem weak. So she thought about going to madam promfey to ask for sleeping meds or something that would at least keep the nightmares at bay or at least let her sleep properly, but then she realises that this would come on her records, and her parents would find out, so she went for the next best alternative being snape, and what does Snape see? He sees a little girl with red hair walking up to him looking confident, but deep in her eyes there is fear and a slight bit of hope, asking him if he had potions to keep the nightmares away, or maybe even something to stop her from fearing the dark and cold? Because during the summer she would always turn of the fan and wrap herself up with multiple blankets and jackets, she had to force herself to stop because it would worry her family, and Little Ginny hated being an inconvenience to anyone, So Snape decides to help her not only because she looks like a certain someone, but she also reminded him of the hope he once held that was diminished when no one helped him, he helped her because he saw his little self cowering form the older Slytherins for being friends with young Lilly evans, he was still friends with her even after being bullied. So he decided to teach her something no one taught, but he learnt himself, he taught her how to love the dark, how to find warmth in the coldness, he sat every day after class, and after school hours to sit and help little Ginny overcome her fear, he told her how darkness can be a friend he told her how the darkness can help you feel safe, because if you can't see then nor can anyone else, and little Ginny was finally happy she could overcome her fear, but that's not where it stopped, they continued this little ritual for years until her 6th year when everything changed, and the only reason Severus Snape decided to help Harry Potter was because he knew that his favourite student was in love with him, and if he died she would break, he helped him because he didn't want Ginny to grow up in such a cruel world. This is the reason Ginny Weasley decided to name her second child after someone ho changed her life, who taught her everything he could to help her get better, when no one noticed something was wrong. This is the justice Albus Severus deserves, because being named after a Slytherin isn't such a bad thing, even if he made one of your parents' life miserable, he saved the other one.

[watchingblsnowandforever]

No. No. NO. This can not be happening. The one thing I was most afraid of. The dreaded cliffhanger (quite literal in this case). I'm going through the 5 stages of BL grief help. And I've already reached de Nile T~T

When i first realized that Bad Buddy and ATOTS would air back-to-back, I had an inkling that something like this might happen. Because it's P'Aof. But now my brain is this close to 'killstabrip rinse and repeat' mode.

I was thinking of not watching today's episode because of the exam tomorrow, and for once, i regret not listening to the logical part of my brain.

Anyways what's done is done.

Let's move on.

I loved today's episode, and *maybe* Our Skyy has made me like ATOTS more than i originally did so bonus.

I have a lot of favourite scenes from today.

The waterfall scene where they play in the water. It's a throwback to the beach scenes from BBS. I like the similarities; in the beach, they'd escaped from their friends and family and really enjoyed themselves with each other for the first time, when their love was just starting to bloom. Here, they are already very much in love and in a secure relationship, but it's also away from their friends, a small haven just for themselves. They still enjoy each other's company and playing with each other. The ost song plays in the background, but the lines that are highlighted are "I hope you are not bored; Looking at this same old face." which just emphasizes the point that their love is still going strong.

The sleeping together scene – after the mosquito net kiss (still smiling from that) – loved the short tickling moment because it reminded me so much of the BTS of when Pat hugs Pran from behind as he plays the Thai xylophone and in real life, Nanon is trying so hard to not laugh. Loved even more the "You're an Architecture student, right? Haven't you wondered how much shaking this house can withstand?". We all know what that meant, right? (If you don't, it's nothing sweetie, just boring old people stuff. Be a child as long as you can.) Pran's reaction cracked me up but also made me want to wrap them both up in a blanket and hug them. Yeah, I'm weird like that. Also, Pran's "No, i don't want to know. I'm not curious." – of course you don't want to know, Pran, of course.

I love that they managed to fit in a song by Nanon. It was a pretty good song, too. I also really liked how fast Pran's expressions changed when Pat arrived. Saying this for probably the millionth time, but Nanon is an amazing (Off Jumpol's voice) actor.

The Pat and Hona (Chief) waking up shirtless together scene. It. Was. Hilarious. I am never ever forgetting it. Them being like: my boyfriend is going to kill me. And yeah, they probably would if they came to know. I liked the reference to PatPran ep 11 when Pran asked how many points he got out of 10. And Pat realizing it's not his faen just by the hand made me a little soft. Also liked the reference to the rangers' t-shirt that Hona had first offered to Tian. Though the first thing that came to mind after seeing it was "Tian and Pran are going to be so jealous when they (mis)understand what the t-shirt means". Ya'll have ruined my innocence so you need to suffer too.

The watch made a comeback! So happy. I really wanna know how Pran will react when Pat gives back the watch. I have a hunch to what Pat will say when he does.

As for the preview, I'm happy (and a teeny tiny bit skeptical) about Hona & Pat's and Tian & Pran's growing friendship.

[Unmute :D Do NOT repost; I'll do more than find you]

I have neither time nor energy to make more than this one clip today, but if i find the energy and motivation on Saturday (i will have literally no time tomorrow), be sure I'll make a lot of clips (at least 4 or 5). If you have any requests in the meantime, feel free to send them through my asks!

[seagullcharmer]

accidentally started typing too much, so. read more (rusty lake postin)

also, since i've been on a rusty lake kick recently, and just re-finished paradise, i've been thinking abt the eilanders again....... like. jakob was 21 during the events of paradise. at most, david was 19, but probably closer to 15-17, which goes to explain a lot more of his behaviour imo. he's just a silly guy. stuck with his cult of a family and literally doesn't know any better. hotel was my first game, and mr rabbit was my favourite guest, so learning that david and mr rabbit are the same make me kind of sad :-( david was a kid. and, sure, i guess we don't reeeeally know what happened to the eilanders directly after paradise (unless anyone can tell me?) sure jakob becomes enlightened but that doesn't mean he's omnipotent. maybe the rest of them lived after that, before becoming their animal counterparts.

and i know that birthday is a weird game, because it's a memory, and not technically what 'actually' happened (in either timeline!) (i don't believe that dale truly witnessed an anthropomorphic rabbit kill his family!) (as weird as rusty lake is, i am of the firm opinion that dale was mostly normal prior to case 23, loss of family notwithstanding) but man. i still feel bad for mr rabbit. even if he killed dale's family to try to 'balance his past lives' or whatever, david was a teenager, and while, yes, of course, he still played a part in killing(?) jakob, he otherwise did little to torment his brother (aside from the usual rusty lake nonsense) (yes david was not the most normal guy around but. again. a teenager living in a horrifying cult) so i feel like there's more at play here. did david/mr rabbit really deserve all those things that happened to him?

and, sure, mr rabbit's death in hotel was really one of the milder ones. and maybe david grew up to do other terrible things! or maybe mr rabbit did, before becoming a magician! but we just don't know!

this is a lot of words for someone who otherwise doesn't care about david eilander. i accidentally got emotional realising he was a teenager while unloading the dishwasher earlier, so. a.

jakob, on the other hand, i am very fond of. for no real reason. i don't particularly care for mr owl. but, jakob. what was going on with him? caroline sent him away as a child. where did he go? what did he do? how did nicholas know where to send the letter? (also. wow. 'i regret to inform you your mother has passed away' or whatever. my man, you were the one to kill her) (anyway.)

but jakob came back!!!! even though he was sent away because his family was going to sacrifice him to the lake!! and the only one he truly shows affection towards is his dead mother! why did he come back?? (i suppose it was still for his mother. if he hadn't, nicholas and the others would have eventually figured out her cubes and the elixir) (but still.)

although i am very fond of jakob and his siblings...... he's been gone for ten years or more (the picture is from 15 years ago, but i feel some time passed between the picture and the attempted sacrifice) but he comes back and some of the puzzles are just kind of silly sibling shenanigans. elizabeth going ice skating. jakob painting her face. getting her the frog flute. david and his frogs. rescuing david from the ice. putting the apple on david's head (as i'm sure every older sibling has wanted to do at least once /joking) like. the first thing you do when you get to paradise is help david making a fishing rod. brothers <3

also just jakob's model. he is so exhausted. just like me fr or smth.

also wish we got to learn more abt aldous + william and how they became alchemists. how did they discover the elixir? they're both major characters to rusty lake, but we know so little about them. despite roots being one of the longest games in the series, and we play as william the entire time, we know next to nothing about him. it isn't until samsara room that we get a little bit of personality detail! (i am of the opinion that the little comments abt the reflections are his personality. 'i look a little fishy' 'i like the view' etc. i still don't know how i feel abt him as a character, but he had a sense of humour, i guess?) (poor laura though. guess she didn't inherit that)

which: laura. is it any wonder she's messed up when she has the brain of dear granddad albert? while i don't take it to be the literal, physical brain, i'm sure it still had an influence on her poor mental health. like, mental illness runs in families. or in the case of the vanderbooms, walks slowly and shakes hands with each family member. having the brain of albert (very smart, very messed up), the tears of emma (depression hours real!!!!!!), the eye of ida (the visions. the horrors.), truly is it any wonder laura had issues??

also, harvey. not much to say abt him; just cool that he's been around forever. how did he get to rusty lake anyway? those birds aren't native to the netherlands. but despite the murders in hotel, he's a nice little dude :-) just sticks around and helps people. sorta.

okay i've been typing nonsense for like 20 minutes. good night

[startledstoat]

i’m literally just pointing out that people in the fandom have noticed that the apparent standard in their fanart is hourglass figure, 0% body fat, massive thigh gap lol. i am obviously not hating on those bodies (that is literally what i look like!!!), just wondering why none of their characters have any sort of meat on their bones, especially regulus who canonically looks to be at least mid-sized

with what you said about remus - i agree! my favourite fics are the ones that delve into his body image and eating disorder as a result of his lycanthropy. with regulus, i don’t like it as much, mainly because people (cough cough jegulus writers) use it as a way to be like “well yes he was a massive racist prejudiced death eater voldemort fanatic but he had an eating disorder :((((( so it isn’t his fault he needs jamie to come save his wittle self :((((“

anyways thank you for your nuanced response i do appreciate actually debating with people on here instead of people just going “SKINNYPHOBIC AND MEAN LMFAO” which is like. yes maybe i am mean but skinnyphobic?? 😭

Love that you responded nicely!

When I think of Reg with those HCs I think of the EDs going along with the trans Reg idea, stemming from his body dysphoria and also having to do with him being raised with the pressure of being an upper-class pureblood "girl" who was expected to be the picture of flawless beauty, which would've been a very toxic beauty standard for someone in that position during that time (flat stomach, thigh gap, hourglass waist, full hips and chest). This is definitely not a HC that works for everyone, expecially those who don't HC Regulus to have been abused in his childhood or don't HC him to be trans.

The addiction is a separate HC and I'm not saying your take on it is wrong but my thoughts on it are a bit different. It's more what I think would have come around the same time he started realizing that he was on the very wrong side of the war and wanted out but couldn't see a way that he realistically could get out bc Voldemort isn't a dude you just go up to like "yeah man listen we had a good run but now I'm realizing that this is so much more fucked up than I thought and now I don't wanna be part of it anymore". (I like to think that he didn't betray Voldemort just because of what happened to Kreacher, but more like his doubts and fears were building up for a while and Kreacher being tortured was just the last straw)This guilt and self loathing that would likely have ensued would have been a very slippery slope, especially when paired with the pressure of being the new heir following Sirius being disowned and their father dying as well as the trauma from his potentially abusive childhood, I think he could have turned to things like calming draughts and dreamless sleep to initially calm his nerves and moods, but then fell in too deep. And it's fine that you don't like that as much! As long as you're being respectful to the people that do, because it's not a HC that's harmful to any real life people.

His redemption arc, both the canon and the fanon parts, definitely don't just erase the fact that he was a death eater that likely tortured and killed people, but the fact that he tried to do the right thing in the end does count for something. Not to mention that he was literally a teenager that was raised in that environment and was taught nothing else until age 11 when he went to hogwarts. 11 years of one type of propoganda being taught to him, during his developmental years no less, doesn't just go away. Yeah he was 18, and as a 19 year old myself I can say that he was both old enough to have learned right from wrong as he went through school, but still young enough that it's perfectly normal for him to have been terrified of turning his back on the family he knew and outright defying a genuinely horrifying maniac that killed people for fun. 18 is still a child in so many ways even if it's also an adult in some other ways.

It's unrealistic to think that Sirius and Andromeda didn't struggle themselves with nature vs nurture when they first started being taught other things in hogwarts and started hanging around other people, even if we wanna say that they were morally perfect right from the beginning and didn't have any internalized prejudices to work through.

I got off track lmao but anyway

I've actually noticed that more artists now draw plus sized characters than there used to be, and maybe that's still not a lot, but it's not a change that's going to happen overnight. It's like the difference between white james in older fanarts and indian james in newer ones. HCs come and go, and I do really hope more people get on the plus sized characters idea because I think it's great, but even people who do share that idea are still going to have different ideas of which characters it fits based on their own HCs.

The most important thing is that characters who are plus sized in canon stay that way in fanon. Characters who were never given a specified body type in canon (or maybe were specified to be skinny but not given a real reason to be skinny) are fair game for however people want to think of them.

[pynkhues]

Ik this is kind of an impossible question lol but in your opinion top 5 succession episodes or top good girl episodes. Episodes that you would rate a 5 star ⭐ or eps that you'll never get tired of rewatching

Ooo, I've done Good Girls a few times, so let's go Succession. Honestly, I think I've rewatched every episode a zillion times at this point, and it's so hard for me to not go with real 'event' eps like What It Takes, DC and Argestes where the show's firing on all cylinders politically, but at the end of the day, I'm here for the family drama, so my Top 5 are going to be centred around that.

Also let's not include s4 since it's so recent, annnnd let's go with them in chronological order as opposed to fave orders, because that might literally be impossible for me, haha.

1.07 - Austerlitz

I've talked about it before, but the one-two punch of 1.06 and 1.07 is really what hooked me on the show. I'd been enjoying it, but these two episodes are such a perfect bait and switch and an incredible encapsulation of what it is that makes the show so good. While I love the absolute heart pounding anxiety/adrenaline rush of 1.06, nothing beats the family therapy episode for me. It's got everything - Connor's house in the desert, forced family bonding, subterfuge, relapses, collateral damage in the shape of famous family therapist's teeth, Shiv cheating on Tom, Shiv calling Logan out on leaking stories about Kendall, Roman picking Kendall up, Kendall defending Shiv, the reveal of Logan's own physical abuse. Literally a perfect episode of TV, I love it so so so much.

2.01 - The Summer Palace

I wasn't sure whether to put 1.10 here, which is absolutely showstopping, jawdropping TV, but if I only have five slots, I think The Summer Palace slightly ekes it out for me? I think I've rewatched it more at the very least, and in particular the scene with Logan and Shiv where he picks her is one of my favourite of the entire show. Sarah and Brian are both just on fire in that scene, and for a moment - just a moment - you can see them both really believe that she's it. The thing about the show, is that I really think one of the reasons it works is because Logan himself believes his bullshit at least some of the time, and I know there are people who disagree, but I do think he loved them, and this episode reveals both the highs and the lows of that love for all four kids.

2.04 - Safe Room

The show always balances humour and tragedy well, but I don't think it ever balances that in one episode as well as it does here. The fallout of a gunshot in the office is the sort of catalyst moment Succession's always done well, but seeing Greg and Tom scrambling (Greg's 'An attack child!" line is maybe the funniest he's ever been to me on this show), contrasted against the very human drama of Logan clearly worrying something's happened to Kendall, and Shiv not understanding the full implications, are just the best sorts of human family drama to me. Also Roman's management training is one of my favourite B-plots the show's ever done. Also-also, we've had a few great hugs on this show now, but Shiv and Kendall's in this episode is literally everything to me.

3.07 - Too Much Birthday

Look, I don't make it a secret that I'm a Kendall girl, haha (although I really do love all four of the Roy sibs), plus a group sibling scenes fan, plus a big fan of Lorene Scafaria's directing, so this ep was pretty much tailor-made for me. The art direction, the pacing, the energy, the - to quote Jesse Armstrong - straight line down of it all is pretty much pefect, with the golden trio all being their ugliest, messiest selves in the way they only truly are with each other, even or especially when they're on the outs. It just gets to me in all the best ways.

3.09 - All the Bell's Say

Literally an episode of all time for me, of any show. I don't think I've ever experienced the level of catharsis from tv that I did the first time I saw Kendall tell Shiv and Roman what he'd done at her wedding in the s1 finale, and I think I've watched that episode, and that scene, a million times at this point. It's etched into my brain, it's everything to me, and I know we're in for a bumpy ride this season, but as I keep reminding myself, we'll always have Tuscany.

Ask me for my Top Fives

[spectral-kitkat]

the "severus versus james" debate kills my joy. why can't both ""sides"" just admit they were all morally questionable as teenagers/(very) young adults? but nooooooo, they're still discussing AD NAUSEAM who was worse and who was better. yeah, it's fun to analyze and discuss characters and their morality and all that, but it has been literally years! surely all that had to be said has been said already! not to mention that both ""sides"" are equally annoying and often wrong: equally willing to disregard "canon" for their own benefit and utterly incapable of being unbiased. there is NOT an true/real/truly objective answer to that question within the books, no matter how much people seems to think there is! if anything, the authorial intent was for us to like (or at the very least understand/empathize with) BOTH. just like harry, who is the narrative's focus and (arguably) its moral compass, at the end of the books. after all, he names his children after both (and wouldn't it have been hilarious if the child's name had been james severus? ((i'd cry) i wonder if people would have then fought that it should have been severus james instead). a lot/most of our opinions about these two characters are entirely dependent on how we have PERSONALLY interpreted what we've read through the lens of our personal preferences/morals/values.

tldr; there is no objectivity in the severus versus james debate and i'm tired of (some many) people pretending there is!

it was so good to take all of that out of my chest! 😬😬😬

anyways: what are some of your marauders hcs?? and, what are your thoughts on regulus?

Sometimes ranting helps 😂😂 even if it is about fictional characters

The whole thing between the Marauders and Snape has been so blown out of proportion by the fandom that so much canon lore/story has been overlooked cause they want it to boil down to “1 side good, 1 side bad”. They forget that characters aren’t just 1 dimensional and can actually have complex story arcs…

Some of my marauders headcanons?

• Lately the big one I have is that some time in the summer before 5th year Remus has a particular bad moon and he comes back to Hogwarts with his cane. He uses one as an adult so it isn’t far fetched to think he might’ve had one in school. I feel like he probably didn’t like using it all that much as a teenager since he thought it was just yet another thing that singled him out.

• I also hc that in 6th year James tells Lily he’s giving up. He can see that he’s made her uncomfortable and that the whole thing with Snape (the ‘mudblood’ incident in SWM) has made him realise he would much rather have her in his life as a friend then not at all. This gives Lily an entire year to get to know him properly before SHE asks HIM out in 7th year

• Peter being the Wizard Chess God of the friend group is another one. I feel like it adds the aspect that he has always been really clever at predicting moves and shows that he is quite the schemer. The marauders (and Gryffindor tower) have a rule that when playing ‘winner-stays-on’ chess, Peter is only allowed 3 back to back games.

My thoughts on Regulus:

I love him! He is my second favourite character in HP behind Remus. The perfect son who eventually turns traitor to his family. He risks everything for his friendship with his house-elf and I can honestly see him joining S.P.E.W if he was still alive during Harry’s years at Hogwarts 😂. For a guy who only got like what maybe a 5 minute mention in the book he managed to stand out in such an amazing way!

I actually based my ipad case off him:

The latin stands for: ‘the stars incline us, they do not bind us’

Which i think just perfectly sums up Regulus in 1 phrase! His whole life the stars (his family - all named after stars) have constantly drilled into his head what it means to be a pureblood and what side he should be on in the upcoming war but when it comes down to it none of those lessons or his upbringing mattered as long as he did what was right!

He is such an interesting character even though he was only a minor one

[declanowo]

31 Days of Horror - Day 6 - The Devil Inside

06/10/23

My love for the horror genre started around 2018 or 2019, I can’t quite pinpoint when I fell deeply in love with it, but I remember staying up late under my covers watching films on Netflix, a handful come to mind such as the Babysitter and Before I wake. After those, I remember distinctly deciding on my love after watching the Chucky films, as well as a large sum of Youtube videos. When the Child’s Play remake was coming out, I remember asking my mum to buy it for me, with her refusing to as she didn’t want me watching “films like that”. Eventually, it came onto streaming, and I watched it while eating some takeaway food and found it to be nowhere as good as the others. 

Eventually, my mum understood my enjoyment more, viewing it as harmless, and word spread around to my family. During lockdown, one of my uncles dropped off a huge bags worth of horror DVDs he had accumulated over the years, and in an instant I was overjoyed. Most of these films were evidently collected during their weekly supermarket shops - low budget horror which you’d struggle to find much information about. One of these films was The Devil Inside. 

Initially, I had no interest in the film - why would I? Exorcism movies have never so much been my thing, and the cover art didn’t draw me in, yet this all changed after I watched another of these films a few months ago - The Boy. I found the film to be delightful, and my love for director William Brent Bell’s work was cemented after watching The Orphan: First Kill, a sequel to one of my favourite films, which I also found to be a very fun time. 

Both the directors previous movies have some things in common - they are both B-movies with phenomenal twists. Unfortunately my love for this film is nowhere near those two, in fact, I wouldn’t describe myself as loving The Devil Inside at all. 

My disappointment started when I began this DVD, finding no special features. Honestly, I was holding out so much hope to hear what Bell had to say about this film, but alas, we have not been gifted this much. Truly, that is the darkest thing about this film. 

All that aside, to me, this film was simply boring to me. A similarity it shares with The Boy is that the first two acts are fairly slow, mildly boring, and build up to a great final act. However, in comparison to The Boy, which feels offbeat yet loveable at all times, I couldn’t connect with this film at all. 

When starting this film, I found myself deeply excited that it was found footage - mixed with the exorcisms, it felt like an incredibly interesting combination! Yet, my dreams were crushed when it was revealed that instead this was a mockumentary. Although I don’t want to write off the whole style, I haven’t found a film that uses the framing device effectively - admittedly I haven’t searched far. For example, this film doesn’t feel too invested in making it feel like a documentary. Nothing about it feels strung together like a documentary, in fact, nothing in this beyond maybe the first act feels like it could be made into a documentary, from the weird cuts between characters to the swearing that just wouldn’t fly in a real documentary, which just completely took me out of any emersion I had. 

I also didn’t find myself connecting with these characters. This being said, I did feel a level of connection to our protagonist Issabella, at least, I did towards the beginning - after around the twenty minute mark I felt so disconnected from her and the rest of the characters. Yet one line stuck with me when thinking about her character, which was when she spoke about the feelings that come with losing both parents, and truly it made me feel something. 

The only other character I found interesting was the priest, mostly towards the climax of the film. I doubt I will think of anything in this film again after a week or so, except for his death scene, which, while not haunting or even too scary, it does leave a mark on the audience for sure. 

The exorcisms themselves were fine, yet I can’t find anything to say about them beyond that. I finished the film ten minutes before starting writing and yet, I would struggle to explain this film to many people in depth. 

Honestly, I was so hopeful this would be another hidden gem by the director, but it really just didn’t land for me. As I draw my discussion to a close, I feel like I am left with nothing to say, with so little to redeem it in my eyes, it makes me wonder if there are any other nuggets of gold left in my pile of DVDs left three years ago, or if I simply struck gold early with The Boy. I guess there is only one way to find out, but I can’t say I’m in a hurry to do so. 

2/10

[naralumi]

snezhnayan mornings - a chilumi drabble

fluff, childe/lumine, ajax being introspective and having an identity crisis and lumine seeing through him. or, the day after lumine arrives in snezhnaya for the first time, ajax is taken aback by her beauty, and wishes he could just be some guy in love with some girl. 

part of my chilumi collection of drabbles & headcanons.

lumine looks magical in the morning light. 

ajax is an early riser - he sneaks downstairs, skipping the creaky steps on his way as to not wake his guest, but he can’t resist sticking his head around the corner to check on lumine, dead to the world, curled up on the sofa in the family room. it’s surreal, he finds himself blinking several times just to believe his eyes. the previous day had been a blur; lumine, his lumine, knocking on his door, face full of both anticipation and surprise. he didn’t blame her; ajax knew that his humble home, and how ridiculously normal his real life was, might come as a shock. even though he’d warned her that despite his current status, he didn’t come from much. all the family homes in snezhnaya’s villages were the same, big enough to house a big family but not much more. growing up as a middle child, not taken seriously by his older siblings, looking after his younger ones, and wanting nothing more than his father’s time and affection, hanging onto every word of his stories of adventurers - yes, he had changed since he was a boy, living for sunday morning ice fishing trips and dreaming of a life of thrills. he had upped and left, seeking just that, and gaining so much more. sometimes, more than he could handle. 

when he returned home that time, he was changed, his parents knew it. but he was still a good brother, a good son. he was devoted to his family. he sent money, gifts, and letters, to make up for the fact that he didn’t really belong to them anymore; he was now a weapon of war. he served the tsaritsa, the harbingers were (unfortunately) the family he now took orders from, and it was worth it, because the end goal was clear. 

his lust for something more was satisfied, he was repaying the tsaritsa for the great honor bestowed upon him to serve as a harbinger and hold a delusion as a badge of honor, and his family were provided for. he was a public figure; he was popular and well known. though the abyss took something from in; a light in his eyes that he would never get back... well, maybe not all was lost. 

lumine still saw it in him, after all. 

ajax, wearing nothing special, just a sweater and pyjama pants, slippers on his bare feet, realises that this might be one of the few moments in his life where he can pretend that everything is normal. a girl he likes sleeping soundly in front of him, his kid siblings aren’t up yet, all he has to worry about is boiling some water for tea and making his favourite breakfast, syrniki - fried cheese pancakes with raisins. he had a feeling lumine would like his cooking. 

“ajax?” her sleepy voice calls out to him. “were you watching me sleep?”

“hey, girlie,” he stifles a laugh. lumine sits up, rubbing her eyes and sniffing, acting annoyed. 

“you’re such a weirdo.”

“i was just getting up to make breakfast for everyone.” 

“do you get up this early every day?”

ajax shrugs. “yeah. when i’m home... the sun is so bright at this time, you see,  the minute it streams into my room i can’t get back to sleep. did you rest?”

“i did. really well.”

“i wish i could have offered you a bed.” in fact, he couldn’t stop thinking about her sharing his own, falling asleep imagining holding her in his arms. “my heart was at ease knowing you were at least sleeping indoors, though.” 

“what do you mean?” she laughs. “i camp very rarely, you know.”

“ah, so i’m not special,” he clutches his chest. “you just used me for shelter. like all the other boys.” 

lumine pats the space beside her on the sofa. “come here. we didn’t get much of a chance to talk yesterday, just the two of us.”

play it cool, ajax. 

they both know there’s something between them, something more than partnership, they’re more than acquaintances or friends. lumine looks at him with trust, despite the fact she should know better, and ajax is fiercely protective over her, even though he knows he cannot be. they can’t keep putting the other in this position; not when they care so much about each other. 

“i never thought i’d get to see you like this...,” she smiles, but ajax doesn’t think she realises. “you look so normal.”

“looks can be deceiving.” 

“but doesn’t it feel...i don’t know...,”

“hm? go on, say it. it’s alright, lumie.”

she sighs. “i don’t know, ajax. does it feel weird? to be so many different things? a hero to your family, a pawn for snezhnaya... a villain...,”

“i try not to think about it.” he really wishes lumine couldn’t read his mind so well. “when i’m here, i almost forget that i left in search for something more. i forget that i used to be a whole different person, because in a way, sometimes - just sometimes - i feel like he’s still in here, somewhere.” 

“it’s funny. i always wondered about you, before all this, but now i don’t think i have to anymore. you’re here. you’re wearing fucking slippers, and making me pancakes. i slept on your sofa. you’re such a contradiction. you’re so gentle when you look at me and speak to me like this, but...,”

“remember, don’t be fooled by my charms.” 

“hm,” she narrows her eyes. “i think you’re joking.”

“i am,” he laughs. “i promise.  i have no ulterior motives right now.” 

“none?” 

“why are you pouting?” 

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC’s half Demon, and they look AWFULLY familiar...

‘Kay guys, I got a different kind of stupid Headcanon to throw at you. Get ready!

Part 2 Lessons 1-5 Part 2.5 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

*ahem* picture if you will, it’s the day the exchange program is set to start. The student council (nix Mr. Kill All Humans, Weeb-supreme, and our Scummy Sweetheart) have assembled to welcome the new human student. All is going according to schedule, the portal opens up at eight am sharp, they hear the pitiful screams of the selected human who was not given a heads up about the whole thing, and the poor little human falls straight onto the marble floor.

There’s something a tad... off about this human don’t you think? After they’ve peeled their sorry ass off the floor they observed the assembled student council with an air of sophistication and self importance that no one expected. Their posture was perfect, their eyes sharp and calculating... they bared a striking resemblance to-

“Lucifer,” Diavolo looked to his right hand man, then back to the human. “The human kind of looks like you!”

And out popped four pitch black wings from the human’s back and two small horns out of the sides of their head, one horn was a bit bigger than the other. They even still had some of their down feathers! How cute!

((Content warning: Swearing (I have a potty mouth, forgive me), but that’s it.))

Luci-dad

So, the MC is Lucifer’s kid! Of course Mr. Prideypants immediately tries to recall exactly what little romp in the human world uh... spawned this half-human half-demon child of his. Good thing MC’s got the other parent on speed-dial.

“Please note, MC,” Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose upon hearing Asmo take even more pictures of his newly discovered hellspawn. “I was not aware of your existence, if I was I’d-”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not upset.”

Lucifer blinked a few times in surprise. “P...pardon? You aren’t upset?”

“No, my parent told me that my father was a high ranking demon, and they bare no ill will against you. Though, I am looking forward to this whole... exchange program thing.”

Oh wow, that was easier than Lucifer thought. Damn. Well, he was a father... (let’s be real, he’s been parenting his brothers for thousands of years, and a good chunk of you sinners call him daddy)

MC is probably the most protected student at RAD, despite the fact that they have no visible security detail whatsoever. They didn’t want to be seen as... weak and pathetic.

Something about this human just... set the lesser demons on edge. Any talk of eating them was stamped out on the first day when they walked by. It’s like Lucifer himself was staring at them, daring the demons to try and bother the human. MC’s powerful presence kept them protected and feared.

...at least until dear uncle Asmo decided to do their hair one morning. All those ribbons may have looked adorable but they kind of ruined the intimidation factor.

MC loved to mess with the other students, keeping their lineage a secret for the first little while just made it so much funnier when the other demons tried to scramble out of MC’s way without looking like they were running from the ‘weak little human exchange student’.

Oh wow, what a sadist. Like father like child

Flying lessons are a must. Poor MC isn’t terribly good at controlling their wings, and their horns are still growing in so when they pop into their demon form the first thing they get is a sore skull. Ow... it sucks that Lucifer isn’t outwardly very sympathetic.

“Ow!” MC crashed face first into the grass in the backyard of the House of Lamentation. “Father! My wings are cramping! Can’t we practice this tomorrow?”

The sight of seeing his dear child crash face first into the ground had lost its hilarity after the first three times. Lucifer slowly lowered himself to the ground and crossed his arms as he stood over his incredibly grass-stained kid.

“MC, we’ve been ‘practicing this tomorrow’ for the past month. If you want to learn to fly you’re going to have to actually manage to stay in the air for more than three minutes.”

MC shot Lucifer a withering glare that only preteens were capable of, Lucifer matched it with his own much more sophisticated glare.

“You’ve been flying for over a thousand years! Don’t you have any tips that can actually help other than ‘don’t panic, you’ll look ridiculous’?”

Lucifer dragged a gloved hand down his face and looked around, the two were alone as far as he could see.

“MC,” Lucifer began. “When I was a young angel, I needed to learn how to fly with someone else.”

MC perked up. “Who?”

“Michael. The smug bastard picked up flying quicker than I did.”

“What’d you do?!”

Lucifer smiled at his child’s intense investment. “I practiced flying every day for five extra hours until I could do everything that Michael could do, just better.”

MC’s starry eyed interest died almost instantly upon hearing about the extra five hours of practice. “Humph, I bet I could outfly younger you and Michael with only two hours of practice a day.”

“Really now?”

“Yes! Watch!” MC shook off their wings and took off in a running start before shakily making it into the air. Their form was decent enough, and they weren’t shaking as much as the previous attempts. “SEE?!”

“Yes MC,” Lucifer smiled. “I can see.”

You know what else Lucifer could see? MC crashing right into a tree.

“Ouch...”

Okay... maybe they could halt practice a little early and order a treat from Madame Scream’s. A little sugar to refuel is needed when the end goal is crushing a mutual rival beneath their heels. Just some good old fashioned father/child bonding time!

MC has a smaller seat right next to Lucifer’s seat in the Assembly Hall. I will not compromise on this one.

For all your fluff needs, I give you: Lucifer teaching MC how to play the piano. He has a proud little smile on his face when his kid finally starts getting it. That’s all. Enjoy the image.

That one Uncle who gives you Alcohol at Family Gatherings (Mammon)

Yeah, when Mammon burst in late to the party and whining about everyone’s spamming him with texts to haul his scummy ass to the Assembly Hall, the last thing he expected was to see a mini-Lucifer.

“What the fuck am I lookin’ at?!”

The glare the two Lucifers gave the poor Avatar of Greed was enough to make him want to turn tail (uh, wing) and book it down the hall.

“Mammon, this is MC. They’re my child.”

“Hello.”

“...whaaaa..?” Mammon looked between the two, same glare, same intimidating aura, same annoyingly good posture.

Mammon scratched the back of his neck and looked over at his older brother. “Do I uh... still gotta babysit em’ if they’re not human?”

“The lake of Cocytus will melt the day I let you babysit without supervision.” Lucifer grumbled.

“I don’t need a babysitter!”

Despite Lucifer’s initial denial, Mammon and MC ended up spending a lot of time hanging out when Lucifer was busy with paperwork. Of course Mammon’s first thought was ‘how do I profit off this situation?’

MC is now Mammon’s designated babysitter after they caught him picking up their feathers that had fallen off with the intention of painting them white and claiming they were Lucifer’s from back in the Celestial Realm.

Mammon does end up spoiling MC a little. Just a smidge. They’re the kid of his totally not his favourite brother after all! How could he not? Whether or not these gifts are obtained legally or are legal at all is subject to scrutiny.

“Mammon, I can’t drink this!” MC placed the bottle of Demonus back on the counter of the kitchen.

“Why not? That’s a bottle of the good stuff! We gotta celebrate you gettin’ an A on that test somehow!”

“I’m underage! Incredibly underage. I’m not legally allowed to drink.”

Mammon wordlessly plopped a silly straw into the bottle. “...does that help?”

“No.” MC then inclined their head to the bottle. “And I don’t want to get hung from the ceiling, that bottle was in my father’s study yesterday, I’m above theft.”

“How old are you s’posed to be anyway? Never mind... uh...” Mammon wracked his brain for something else he could do for MC that didn’t cost anything (don’t judge him, the poor bastard was flat broke!). “I could... teach you to drive!”

“Driving?”

“Yeah! Drivin’ is awesome! We can take my car!”

The bills for the damages done to the car and the Devildom were mailed to Lucifer the next day, and MC and Mammon got to keep each other company as they hung from the ceiling. Ah well! At least MC wasn’t upside down!

Mammon wasn’t that good of a flight teacher either, he also crashed into a tree (the same tree MC crashed into, actually) when he was cheering for MC. They were finally able to do a loopdy loop! He was proud and distracted! Okay?! Lucifer! Stop smirkin’ at him! It’s not that funny!

At least the vantage point from the tree was decent and the branches didn’t scratch him up too badly. Oh hey... that person walking by was wearing a very nice watch... he’d be right back-

That Uncle That is Always Absent From Family Gatherings and When He is Present He Leaves Early (Levi)

He missed everything. That is not an exaggeration. He was in the middle of an online raid battle and couldn’t look at his phone! No Lucifer he can’t pause an online game! That’s not how it works!

Okay, the human exchange student is half demon? WOAH! THAT’S JUST LIKE THAT ONE ANIME- W A I T. THE LITTLE NORMIE IS LUCIFER’S KID?!

Okie doke, he was fully convinced that MC just had to be an anime protagonist.

They binged every series that Levi compared them to. Sure MC might have missed a few assignments because of late night anime binges, but they were too good for this school crap anyway, right?

Nope. Lucifer put a ban on the two watching anime until both their grades improved. Surviving that hell brought the two together.

“Ugh!”

The sound of a pencil case being haphazardly thrown across the room made Levi peek out of his bed-tub. If his figurines got knocked over so HELP HIM-

“This is stupid!!I shouldn’t have to catch up with this!” MC crossed their arms and gave their Demonology textbook their best disapproving glare.

Lucifer Lite (tm) was having a hell of a time trying to claw through their missed work, and Levi sympathized, he really did, it’s just... he was playing Animal Crossing-

Levi paused the game to placate his anime-buddy when their wings popped out and he feared for his rare merch’s safety.

“H-hey, MC? Do you need help?” Levi’s offer was met with a bone chilling glare that lived rent free in his nightmares ever since. He had pulled a Mammon and forgotten he was talking to Lucifer’s child. Lucifer’s allergy to help must have passed down to MC.

“No! I don’t! It’s just... dumb!” MC hissed, she turned and looked over at the fish tank. “Right Henry 2.0?”

Henry 2.0 did not respond.

“MC, you need to finish your homework or we can’t watch anything together,” Levi sighed, he had finished his work over an hour earlier. He had mastered the art of all night anime binges and managing to do most of his work in the fifteen minutes between the time he woke up and the time school was supposed to begin. “We haven’t even binged all of volume 4 of TSL yet!”

“Mmm...” MC grumbled. “Fine...”

MC picked up their pencil case and began continued their work. Levi breathed a sigh of relief and went back to Animal Crossing.

The tiny normie did in fact finish their work, only after they caved and asked Levi for help. Swore him to secrecy, they did... very intimidating, they were.

Just saying, he most definitely sent that one Keanu Reeves meme with big Keanu and little Keanu but with Lucifer and MC to the wrong group chat. Poor bastard.

Flying lessons? No. Levi hadn’t flown since his time in the Celestial Realm, he had no advice to give other than: “Flap your wings!”

“THAT’S WHAT I’M DOING YOU-”

MC didn’t get to finish that thought, they lost their balance and fell right into RAD’s fountain. Ah well, Levi had a head start on running for his life that he squandered by laughing at MC. RIP.

The Uncle/brother/whatever the fuck that Starts a Fight With Your Dad at the Family Reunion. (Satan)

Oh... another Lucifer? Eugh. Gross.

Satan gave the kid a wide berth when they first met. Everything the kid said or did ticked him off. “Tsk. Look at MC. Making an omelette. So annoying.” “Oh wow, MC vacuumed? Roll out the red carpet, we need to celebrate their existence!” “Look at them. Breathing. Disgusting.”

MC’s pride wouldn’t ever let them admit it but... they knew Satan didn’t like them, and it hurt their feelings.

“Shhhh,” Satan whispered into his backpack.

“Meow.” The backpack replied.

“I said shhhhh.”

The backpack did not reply after that, which was a good thing considering the little princet of the HOL was nearby.

“Satan?” They asked. “Who are you talking to?”

Satan coldly brushed past them as he made his way to his room. “No one you need to concern yourself with.”

When the little calico kitten was safe in his room, Satan quickly realized a mistake in his foolproof ‘sneak a cat into the house’ plan. He didn’t have any toys for the kitten, and he didn’t want his books getting scratched...

It was alright, he’d just rush out to the a store that sold cat things and rush back! Five minute trip tops!

Well when Satan got back the cat was no longer in the room. Oh dear. He discreetly tore apart the house looking for the poor little thing until he ended up finding it in the library, happily chasing around a loose feather being held up by MC.

“Oh, hello Satan.” MC chirped as the kitten batted it’s adorable little paws at the feather.

“My... my door was closed. Did you let the cat out?”

MC shrugged. “I heard meowing.”

Satan ran a hand through his hair and grumbled. Stupid smaller Lucifer. Stupid original Lucifer. Everyone sucked.

“Let me guess, you’re going to run to Lucifer and tell him all about the meowing and the rule breaking.”

MC shook their head and glared at Satan. “Of course not. I’ve already gotten way too attached to this little guy anyway. We’re co-parenting this kitten like mature adults.”

With some coaxing, Satan did sit down and play with the kitten, maybe MC wasn’t... so terrible.

The two watch Unsolved Mysteries together, that’s their show. “This guy did it.” “Satan, we’re two minutes into the episode-” “Trust me.”

Thirty minutes later.

“He did it.” “See MC, what’d I tell you?”

Lucifer did find out about the cat, but with enough pleading, MC and Satan managed to warm up the cold spot in Lucifer’s chest where his heart should have been. The cat’s name is Detective Toe Beans (or just Bean).

Satan can’t fly, he has a tail, but he did read up on wing anatomy and how flight actually works in demons, his advice would be good in theory, but it’s full of so much technical jargon that MC can’t understand it.

At least MC didn’t crash into something, they barrel rolled through one of the HOL’s windows. Good thing it was the window to their room. The broken arm still hurt like hell.

The Best Dressed Bitch Who Brings The Booze to The Reunion. (Asmo)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Lucifer’s kid was SO CUTE! A thousand pictures commemorating that adorable moment needed to be taken! Wait- Lucifer- GIVE BACK THE PHONE-

Asmo, surprise surprise, absolutely adores little MC! So cute! So small! He was just so excited to announce to all his Devilgram followers that Lucifer was finally a certified DILF.

That post disappeared five minutes after it was made but the damage had already been done.

Asmo made sure MC looked their best at all times, if they needed help talking to anyone? Asmo’s got their back!

Sure, maybe he’s a little pushy, but pushy’s a good thing sometimes, right?

“Asmodeus-”

“No, these shoes wouldn’t fit you...”

“Asmo-”

“No, not these ones either...”

“ASMODEUS.”

Asmo squeaked and jumped upwards, Geez Louise... little MC’s voice could sure be scary when they wanted it to be...

“I don’t need any fancy new shoes.” MC huffed, sitting up straighter in one of the chairs in Asmo’s room. “I thought this was supposed to be a sleepover.”

“Hmmm...” Asmo pouted. “Makeovers are an essential part of sleepovers... what’d you do with your human friends up in the human world that could possibly be better than a make-over?!”

MC began to list things off. “Ordered junk food, talked about people we hated, watched movies,”

“Greasy food is so bad for your skin...” Asmo cringed and shook his head violently. “But I’m totally down to watch a movie and bitch about people I hate!”

“Ah yes, human sleepovers, a tradition I never quite had the chance to enjoy.” Solomon said from Asmo’s bed. “Who are we bitching about?”

“Remind me what Solomon is doing here.” MC muttered as they sat down in front of Asmo’s TV.

“Because, I wanted to hang out with my two favourite humans.” Asmo cooed, reaching over and trying to pinch MC’s cheek, which they awkwardly dodged.

“Can we watch The Exorcist?” Solomon asked, propping his head up with his hands.

“Ew, no.” Asmo made a face at him. “That scene with the vomit? Hell NO.”

“Mm.” MC mumbled. Asmo turned to look at them.

“MC? Are you doing okay? You don’t look like you’re having any fun...”

“I’m fine.” MC grumbled.

Asmo pursed his lips, as much as it made his little narcissistic heart break, he nudged MC. “Why don’t you pick the movie, sweetie. I’m sure Solomon and I will like anything you pick!”

MC noticeably brightened. “Let’s watch Scream!”

The strangled noise that came from Asmo was... concerning, but to his credit, The Avatar of Lust held his tongue about his distaste for the movie, and the three slumber-party goers had quite the lovely time.

After the movie ended, MC went back to their room, sure it was a sleepover but their bed was right down the hall.

Good for Asmo and Solomon. Horny fuckers. We stan.

Asmo just claps and tries to cheer MC on when it comes to their flying lessons. (The idea that Asmo came up with to wear his cheerleader costume from the previous Halloween was immediately shot down by Lucifer)

“You’re doing wonderful, MC- WATCH OUT FOR THE POWER LINE!”

MC didn’t hit the power line, but Asmo’s scream of terror caused them to fall butt-first into a dumpster. Their injured tailbone served as a tragic memory of the incident.

Oh well, good thing Asmo had nice smelling soap to give that could mask dumpster-stink.

The Uncle that eats everything and tells you to eat your veggies while you angrily pick at your broccoli at the kid’s table. (Beel)

Lucifer... has a kid?! Beel choked on the cheetos he had snuck into the Assembly Hall when the kid’s wings popped out.

Oh wow, that’s nice :) maybe they can eat together. Belphie would probably like them.

Wait what is the gender neutral term for Niece or Nephew?

...Nibling? Uh... let’s not say that around Beel. We don’t need him to get hungrier and begin associating MC with nibbling on things.

The Underground Tomb incident probably went a little differently, but after all that nonsense, the two are closer than two peas in a pod!

Mmm... peas...

“Beel?” MC stepped into the Avatar of Gluttony’s room.

“Hi MC.” Beel was doing push-ups in the middle of the room, on the ground right beneath his head was a massive bowl of spaghetti that he bit into every time he completed a push-up. “Can you come stand on my back? I need the extra weight.”

“On your back?” MC padded closer. “Are you sure? It’s not going to hurt?”

“No, it’ll be okay.” Beel assured them. “Belphie and I did this all the time. Except Belphie is normally asleep.”

MC tentatively stepped onto Beel’s back. It was a balancing act to say the least, they eventually gave up on standing and ended up sitting cross legged between Beel’s shoulder blades.

“You did this with Belphegor?” MC asked.

“Yeah,” Beel sighed. “He was always too tired to exercise, but he’d let me bench press him sometimes...”

MC frowned and hugged their knees to their chest. Knowing full well that Beel’s twin wasn’t in the human world like Lucifer said was absolutely ripping them apart from the inside. Guilt felt just as rotten as their pride did when they were being belittled...

“Maybe you’ll see him again sometime soon.” MC whispered. “Maybe my father’ll come to his senses and let him come back down to the Devildom.”

Beel paused his push-ups for a brief moment, then nodded and went back to his eating exercising combo. “I hope so. He’ll like you, MC. I’m sure of it.”

MC nodded. “I... hope so.”

Beel’s a pretty decent flight teacher, but his wings are just so different from MC’s that it renders any tips he had next to useless.

“MC, maybe your wings aren’t flapping fast enough.”

“Beel, I appreciate the thought, but I’m not a hummingbird. Or a fly. I don’t need to flap my wings a million times a minute to stay afloat.”

Ah well, MC tried to take some of Beel’s advice, but their lower right wing cramped up and they ended up flying in circles until Beel was able to catch them. Ah well, better than the dumpster incident the previous week.

The Uncle That Passes Out in The Basement and You’re Not Allowed to Wake Him Up Even Though All Your Toys and Video Games Are Down There. He Also Picks a Fight With Your Dad’s New S/O Before He Passes Out. (Belphie)

Sitting in the attic was quite a drag, and this supposedly weak little human was quite the annoyance to try and call out to. It took a lot longer than expected, but when he heard little footsteps coming towards his prison, Belphegor nearly jumped with joy.

Oh... it... looked like Lucifer. Smelled like Lucifer. Stood like Lucifer. Quacked like Lucifer. Or... trilled..? Whatever sound a peacock made, this brat sounded an awful lot like Lucifer.

A... half-demon. Hmph. Belphie honestly thought Lucifer had actual standards. Not anymore, he guessed.

(Man I could fill a whole-ass fic with the Belphie betrayal thing, but for now let’s skip to post attic nonsense)

Okay so maybe MC wasn’t disgusting. They made a good nap buddy. It was cute when their wings came out when they were sleeping sometimes. Well... it was cute when they didn’t hit him in the face and make him wake up with his mouth full of feathers.

What Beel said had been true, Belphie made a good substitute when weights weren’t available, but Beel didn’t want MC to feel left out, so Belphie and MC ended up sitting on his back while he did push ups. MC once got bored and started playing Go Fish with Belphie on Beel’s back while he exercised.

Yes. MC is still a member of the Formerly-Anti-Lucifer League.

“Are you sure he’s not going to be too mad at us?” MC asked for the dozenth time that day. Detective Toe Beans was wrapped around their neck like a scarf (he had gotten so big!!!) while MC nervously sat in one of the Library chairs.

“Positive.” Belphie said with a toothy grin. “Besides, he’s like putty when it comes to you. Just give him your best puppy eyes and we’re not guilty on all charges.”

Putty..? Really..? Lucifer..? How strict was he before MC got there... they wondered.

“Sh! He’s coming!” Satan stuck his nose into a random book, it was the Oxford English Dictionary... and it was upside down.

Belphie pretended to pass out and MC decided that the best course of action was to stare deeply into their cat’s eyes. Yeah... that looked casual and not weird.

“Satan, MC, Belphie.” Lucifer nodded to the three of them as he walked towards the entrance to his study.

“Lucifer.”

“Afternoon, father.”

Belphie let out a cartoonishly loud fake snore that nearly caused both MC and Satan to break cover and start laughing.

Side note, Bean had adorable widdle eyes! That cute little face was just to die for-

“You three..!”

Belphie, Satan, and MC peeked their heads into Lucifer’s study, their handiwork was perfect. Everything was covered in red post it notes. Perfectly not harmful, but SO inconvenient!

“You’re all cleaning this up or so help me-”

“GO!” Belphie and Satan each grabbed one of MC’s arms (Satan also grabbed Bean) and sprinted out of the House of Lamentation. Maybe they’d move back there in twenty years... they hoped that Solomon and The Angels would let them crash at Purgatory Hall...

Belphie had used up his physical energy supply for the next four years. He passed out the moment they stepped into sanctuary. Time for a nap...

Flight practice? Ha. Belphie’s napping. Though, he was suspiciously awake and filming whenever MC did something stupid.

“Try not to suck so bad.”

“GO TO HELL BELPHIE!”

“I’m already there. Hell is every second I’m stuck here watching you fail.”

“YOU’RE GOING TO GET IT FOR THAT!”

Well... MC mastered the dive bomb that day. Lucifer bought them a cake.

Bonus! Your Dad’s New Husband! That Has Managed to Somehow Make Everyone Hate Him Despite the Fact That He’s A Cinnamon Roll. (Diavolo)

A mini Lucifer? A mini Lucifer!

Diavolo dotes on MC like he’d dote on his own kid. MC wants a crown? They’re getting a crown! A damn nice one too! MC wants a title? Here! MC is now... idk Ruler of the area between Majolish and Hell’s Kitchen.

Poor Uncle Mammon’s got some financial insecurity, he’s still the cool uncle... right?!

He is very much that ‘how do you do fellow kids?’ Meme.

He tries to do stereotypical ‘dad’ things but he’s not very good at them. Once he tried to host a barbecue...

Barbatos saved the day, but Mammon’s hair was still singed, Solomon’s cooking still gave Beel food poisoning (SOLOMON EATS TOXIC WASTE I SWEAR-), Luke still got hit in the face with a frisbee, and Simeon got an unhealthy dose of DAD NERVES and got so stressed everyone was almost blinded by the holy light he suddenly started blasting. We do not mention the water guns.

(Seriously whose bright idea was it to give Belphie and Satan water guns while they were in Lucifer’s presence?)

Praise Barbie. He’s too good for them.

“Um...” MC awkwardly held up the baseball, trying to look at it from all angles like it was a completely alien object. “Lord Diavolo... are you sure you want to play catch?”

Diavolo clapped his hands and bounced on the balls of his feet. “Yes! It’s a thing human fathers do with their children, correct? We must make up for lost time between you and Lucifer, right?”

Lucifer massaged his temples and nodded. “If you two would like to play catch...” Lucifer grimaced. “I will too.”

“Okay! MC, throw the ball to Lucifer!” Diavolo instructed.

Lucifer half heartedly held up his baseball glove as MC tossed him the ball. He caught it, and looked over at Diavolo, who was applauding like he just witnessed the greatest feat in sports history.

“Okay! Throw it to me!” Diavolo waved his glove in the air, Lucifer rolled his eyes and smiled. He threw the ball at Diavolo with... a lot of force. Enough force to probably dent steel... Diavolo caught it like it was nothing.

MC suddenly feared for their safety.

“Okay MC, catch!”

Diavolo threw the ball with enough force to break the god damn sound barrier. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but the ball sailed way over MC’s head and crashed right through a window.

“Oh my...” Diavolo put a hand on his hip and surveyed the damage to the window. “This isn’t so bad, I believe in human world TV shows this happens quite often. Look! The glass broke in a perfect circle!”

“Yay... property damage...” MC murmured.

Lucifer sighed and pulled out his DDD. “I’ll phone someone to replace the win-”

“Lucifer no! Now according to human world customs we must,” Diavolo took a deep breath, rushed forward, grabbed both Lucifer and MC’s hands and started sprinting away from the Demon Lord’s Castle. “RUN FOR IT!”

“Di- Diavolo!” Lucifer gasped.

“Who are we running from?! That’s your castle!” MC squeaked.

“I don’t know! Just run! That’s what the human TV show says to do!”

Weirdly enough, Diavolo was the best flight instructor. MC’s ability to fly increased tenfold after Diavolo found out that MC was learning to fly.

“You’re doing amazing MC! That was a perfect turn!”

“Thanks Lord Diavolo, I’m surprised I haven’t crashed into anyone or fallen yet!”

“Well, I highly doubt you’ll be crashing into anyone anymore, your flying is practically perfect now!”

Mammon proceeded to fly past them holding what looked like Lucifer’s wallet.

“M-mammon?!”

“Oh... I wonder what he’s doing. Look, MC! It’s Lucifer! Hello Lucifer dea-”

Lucifer ended up colliding with the two of them and sending them all crashing to the floor.

That was the last time MC fell during flying practice.

(We currently have a Go Fund Me set up for Mammon to get the funds necessary to flee the Devildom after that incident. Please donate to save- oh shit hi Lucifer-)

[discoveringsandra]

Characters I project my transness on: Shrek's Fiona

GENERAL SPOILER ALERT FOR THE SHREK MOVIE FRANCHISE

A subversion af the damsel in distress trope, Fiona isn't an ordinary princess. She burps, kicks ass and is generally disappointed by actual princes.

In the first movie, she transformed into an ogre by night. She saw this as a curse until she learned to love both another ogre and this side of herself. Even if she hasn't always looked like an ogre, she ends up renouncing to normative beauty and living as one.

Then, she spends the second film trying to convince her parents to love both her husband and her identity, while his father tries to get her to fit into the fairy tale princess role she was meant to have. It turns out her father was just preventing her from risking his own position as human-looking king, since marrying her with a prince was part of the deal he made with a fairy when he was a toad (I can't blame him for wanting to make Julie Andrews his queen, though).

This film has many queer experience parallels, with both Fiona's parents and Far Far Away's elitist society being outraged by her life choices, as well as the father projecting his own anxieties about fitting in this society on to his daughter. I would say that there are a couple of kind of queerphobic jokes, one about the Big Bad Wolf being gender-confused (which is more or less okay since it comes from the main villain) and a really weird one on pinocchio wearing women's underwear (which is not okay since he is a child and they are mockingly confronting him on this to use his elongated nose).

Going back to our favourite ogre princess, the plot of the third movie has her staying back home while Shrek goes to find a heir for the kingdom's throne and overcome his parenthood anxiety. However, the Charming Prince she was supposed to marry on the second movie comes back and takes the kingdom during her baby shower. We get to see her starting a princesses' escape and fight evil goons while being pregnant, but I think se was kind of separated from the main plot so Shrek could come to her rescue again at the end, which is why this is the least interesting movie in the franchise.

The fourth movie does the "Its a Wonderful Life" thing where an unsatisfied Shrek goes to an alternate reality in which he has never been born. The version of Fiona we see there is a warrior, the leader of the ogre resistance to Rumpelstilskin tyrannical rule. She rescued herself from the tower she was locked in in the first film and it's implied she still becomes human by day and does some reconnaisance, but she is fully accepted among the ogres. Although she's got her own revolution going on, her whole arc is learning to trust Shrek so he can learn to not give her for granted once he comes back to his reality, which kind of undermines the whole revolutionary leader thing.

Still, drawing my own transgender parallel, the difference between this two realities in how ogres are treated can be seen as the difference in how real world countries treat the LGBTQ+ community. Main timeline Shrek and Fiona are more or less respected because they had a chance to fight for their rights as well as the privilege given to Fiona for being a princess. Resistance leader Fiona never had a chance to convince her powerful parents to respect her identity as an ogre because they lost their kingdom to Rumpelstilskin, who then started hunting down ogres, forcing them into hiding away from the rest of society. That's the present many queer people around the world have to live, the past those who live free can't forget and the possible future we'll never stop fearing.

This took a pretty dark turn so let's ask ourselves "what if Fiona was actually trans?" Well, if Fiona was a transgender male ogre, the plot would be essentially the same except the pregnancy in the third movie would be replaced by an adoption waiting list and the transformation in the second movie would be a metaphor for detransitioning out of family pressure. Also, male ogre Fiona (Finn?) would wear lumberjack shirts and his alternate reality version would cosplay Braveheart.

If Fiona was a transgender female ogre, though, the plot would be radically different. I think she would still dress as a princess when she was in human male form and there would be jokes similars to those on the Ugly Stepsister (oh, I forgot about her and her deep voice, she's "ugly" because she's got masculine traits, so funny 😒) but with some sort of catharsis once she becomes permanently an ogress. I guess Farquad would be extra rude to her but she would still think she had to marry him to break the curse, then Shrek confesses her love, enter the dragon and I'm a believer. I guess Prince Charming would still try to marry a remasculinized Fiona in the second film (come on, he's a queer coded villain) and, for sure, the king would still try to fool her to do it. The third and fourth movie wouldn't change much, as Fiona's past human form is irrelevant in the third and she never appears in human form in the fourth. Maybe her daylight human male form would be a more obvious parallel of how trans women have to go on boymode to survive.

To finish this already too long tirade, I just want to add that the idea of Fiona's true form seems to be fluid. Had the hero of the story been a human peasant, she would probably still stay a pretty normative princess, even if he accepted her as an ogre, like a gender reversed Beauty and the Beast. I love that they didn't go for that ending.

[writing-wh0re]

Good Things Come In Three

Chapter One | Reader Insert Series

Warnings: Language, Horny Reader, Mentions of Smut. 

Words: 1,403 

Likes are loved, reblogs are golden 💚

The Triwizard Tournament was all anyone had been talking about for weeks. But today was the day. The day that Madame Olympe Maxime would release the names of the students who will be joining her in attending the tournament at Hogwarts. 

Nova and I were adamant that our names would be in the goblet of fire. Imagine the fame and the glory you’d have… not to mention the bonus of the thousand galleons. But Nova and I had a deal, whoever won would split the money with the other. So overall, it was a win-win situation; apart from the whole possible gruesome, horrible death thing. Worth it.

“Would you stop shoving me!” 

“Let me see.” 

“Get your ass out of the way.” 

The shrill cries of my fellow students echoed through the empty corridors and I knew exactly where they were coming from. 

My stomach felt as though it was going to fall out of me, yet seemed to churn simultaneously. So many unknowns swirled around my mind, a phenomenon I was not fond of. 

After a few deep breaths and an attempted recollection of my emotions, I turned the corner. What I saw next could only be described in one word: bloodbath. A concoction of hair, flowing blue fabric and desperation. 

Every so often one sulking, obviously disappointed girl would emerge from the group. 

“Bullshit. Complete bullshit I reckon.” 

All these years at a girls school and the bitchy, unsupportive comments still took me aback. Maybe one d…. y/n focus. 

Hands landed on my shoulders with a sudden force that made me jump. 

“Y/n, Y/n!” Nova bounced herself in front of me, an obvious smirk plastered across her face, “I’ve already packed my things.” 

I rolled my eyes. Classic Nova. 

“You’ve already read the list?”  

“I like to be optimistic,” she smiled, “you should try it sometime.” 

But before I could attempt even a semi-witty comeback, Nova had joined the pack of hyenas trying to get a view of the board. 

I fell behind. And I couldn’t see shit. If only I was as tall as Madame Maxime, then this really wouldn’t be an issue. So I charged. Funny how quickly people move when you’re forcefully pushing them out of the way. 

Catching up to Nova I watched her place her finger on the list as she skimmed over the names. A short breath escaped me. But I kept my eyes locked on her and refused to look at the list. It was too nerve racking. I was worried about disappointment.

“You…” Nova trailed off as my breath hitched. My eyes remained glued to her as she read the remainder of the list; it could only be one of two responses. And one of those was going to throw a major spanner in the works. 

Nova was unreadable. Her brow remained determined as her pointer finger dropped. Was I going alone? No. Nope. Absolutely, positively no way. 

“Oh, thank fuck for that. It’s me!” Waves of relief and excitement flowed through both Nova and I. 

This was it. It was all coming together. Suddenly those anxious overthinking thoughts about selection had turned to anxious overthinking thoughts about Hogwarts. Possibilities fluttered through my mind. I couldn’t help but be excited. What if… 

“Hey! Hello? Earth to Y/n. Stop daydreaming, we have to pack!” 

//

“Now… I have heard whispers of there potentially being a ball. So you know what that means?” Nova smirked.

I shrugged. Balls had never really crossed my mind to be honest. And didn’t particularly tickle my fancy. 

“Seriously? Can you just act semi-excited at the thought of a stunning dress and seriously gorgeous Scottish or English men, for once?” 

“You’re lucky I like you.” I quipped back. 

“I am way too invested in finding you both a dress and a man to even try to out-wit you right now.” 

Nova winked and began rummaging through my small wardrobe, determined to find me something elegant. This was almost like a real-life Cinderella moment. Rags to riches. A royal family would have nothing on me. 

“Ah ha!” I jumped. Everytime. Nova really didn’t have a lower volume button. “I did it. You’re welcome. Honestly, I don’t need to be a wizard anymore, I’m going into fashion, baby.” She winked. 

A wave of baby blue silk flew across her body as she held the dress up for my inspection. 

“This, this will turn heads.” My head tilted as I looked over the garment, softly rubbing the fabric between my thumb and index finger. 

“I made this dress from my smaller uniform.” 

Nova’s mouth dropped and her eyes widened. She glanced back down to the dress. Then back to me. Then again to the dress. 

“Are you serious? You realise you’re gorgeous and a genius, aka the whole package.” I shoved Nova softly, rolling my eyes. 

“I don’t know, is it too.. revealing?” Gesturing across my collar bones, the neckline of the dress sitting just off the shoulders. 

“Oh come on. English boys? Scratch that. Incredibly gorgeous, mouthwatering English boys?” I didn’t need to look at her to know what she was doing, hearing the kiss-y noises in the air. 

“Put two options in my case.” 

Nova wiggles her eyebrows, knowing she’s gotten her way. 

“What are you wearing to this ‘maybe ball’?” 

“My black scoop back with the halterneck, obviously.” 

“Oh, someone’s hoping to get some attention.” I wink. 

“Hey, it’s the perfect combination of smart and sexy.” 

That was always Nova’s style. But despite all her descriptive ‘S’ words, she left out slutty. 

“A little fling never hurt anyone, y/n.” 

I suck my teeth at her response. Of course she’d go there. But, was she onto something? Suddenly the idea began to consume my thoughts. Hmm, a little fling. I think to myself. 

Lost in my own world, I mindlessly listen to Nova ramble on about other girls coming with us. No matter how hard I tried to concentrate on the words Nova was stringing together, my thoughts wandered to the idea of a man's hands on my body. The heat. The tension. A hot flush rushed through my body, causing me to cross my legs to stop myself from giving anything away. I hadn’t felt this feeling in a long time. I wanted more. I needed more. I needed a real man’s touch. 

“Where do you go?” 

I jolted my head back to Nova’s attention. Whoops. 

“Sorry, just mentally checking off what I need to pack.” 

Nova shrugged, she was used to it by now. Ever since I’d stopped sleeping with Thomas I tended to go into daydreams a lot. Lack of creative expression, Nova had suggested. But let’s be real, it was 100% horniness. 

With Nova distracted, I slipped my good pairs of lace panties into my suitcase. Just in case. 

“Really? You’re packing your own stationary?” Nova asks, raising her eyebrows. 

“I like to write to my parents. Have a problem?” 

“Nope.” Nova says popping the ‘p’ and shaking her head.

“At least I don’t have Mr Snuggles squashed in my bag.” 

Nova narrows her eyes at me, biting the inside of her cheek. Point 1: y/n. 

“I’m all packed, I think.” Smiling, I change the subject, not waiting for Nova’s sarcastic come back, feeling accomplished in my case. 

Nova quickly looks over the open luggage, nodding in approval at what I have squeezed in. 

“I’m going to go find Fleur and see how she’s going.” Nova smiled, “Say hi to your parents for me.” She winked before swiftly exiting. 

A small sigh escapes my lips as I grab out my personalised stationery. I slowly pull out the chair from my desk and sit, vibrating with excitement about divulging my new adventure to my parents. 

‘Dear Mother and Father, 

Hi, it’s your favourite child. 

Writing to let you know that I have been chosen to join Madame Olympe Maxime and a few other select students to go to Hogwarts for the Triwizard Tournament. We leave Beauxbatons tomorrow. 

Nova and I are wanting to put our names into the goblet of fire. We are hoping for eternal glory and 1000 Galleons, which we would split if one of us won! 

Fingers crossed I get picked and can bring fame to our name. 

I miss you both and can’t wait to see you again soon. 

Also, Nova says hello. 

Lots of love, 

Y/n xo’

Series Taglist: @maybesandohnos @gaycatlord-stuff @rocky-is-cool @omghufflepuff @gloryekaterina @malfoysfavoritewhore  @coldpiscesmilkshake @letsmariya

Add yourself to the series taglist Here 

[creweemmaeec11]

My favourite prompts:

A list of my favourite prompts that I’ve posted in the past, all curated into a huge list just for you guys!

1

Finally, the day has come. The villain is thought to be dead. The hero has won.

Until suddenly the hero learns the villain left them EVERYTHING in their will. Made them the owner and operator of all their illegal business.

Obviously, the hero plans to shut everything down immediately. But they quickly realize just how many people the villain employed… how many family’s they fed…

2

“You kissed me,”

“I did… and?”

“What-!? What do you mean and!?,”

“What more do you want?”

“An explanation would be a good start!”

“…or I could just do it again…”

*other person turns bright red,*

“Or… or that, I suppose,”

3

“What the hell are you doing here!?”

“I think the better question would be what in the hell are you wearing,” the villain replied, amusement clear on their face, like they were struggling to keep from laughing.

“What- it’s-” the hero blushed, remembering what they were wearing, “their pajamas! What are you-!”

“Oh my god…” the villain replied, like they were struggling to come to terms with what they were seeing, “the hero of the city not only own, but wears a onesie,”

“Excuse me!” The hero snapped in defence, “They’re comfortable!”

“They? You have more??”

4

“I gotta say hero,” The villain mused as they casually moved toward the cell bars, “I’ve been called many things in my life: monster, villain, outcast, loser, scoundrel,” they tilted their head, examining the hero before them, “but ‘our last hope?’” *clicks tongue* “that’s a first,”

5

You live in a world where anyone born with superpowers must become a super hero. It doesn’t matter what the power is, or how small it is, it is mandatory. It was deemed that having anyone with superpowers work alongside regular people was “unsafe” and “unfair.” Every year, dozens of superhero’s with powers useless for fighting are killed. You’ve managed to make it this long with nobody finding out you have a superpower. But how much longer can you hide in plain sight?

6

The city’s villain mysteriously disappears and hasnt been seen in a week. The people are celebrating, but the hero is worried. What if the villain is planning something big? Determined to stop whatever evil plan is brewing, the hero tracks the villain down, but they dont find what they expected. Instead of evil plotting, the villain:

-Has been taking care of a sick pet -Come down with the flu -Been helping arrange a friends wedding -Found out they were pregnant -Is getting married themselves -Mourning the death of a loved one -Has adopted a young pet and been occupied taking care of them -Has been helping one of their lackeys who’s in a desperate situation -Has been feeding the homeless and offering blankets

7

You’re the most wanted villain by all highest ranking authorities, but all the heros “just can’t seem to catch you” (they always let you get away) because all your crimes are things like stealing expensive medication and then donating it to hospitals, robbing toy stores and donating to orphanages, robbing banks and giving to charity, robbing grocery stores and feeding the homeless, ect

8

A hero/villain with the power to materialize their own tattoos. Got a wrench tattoo? Now you’ve got a wrench. Got a tattoo of wings? A bomb? A get away car? Well…

Dragon tattoos have always been popular, havent they?

9

Write about a genius inventor villain who, while watching the news, learns about a sick child in hospital doctors arnt sure they can cure. The villain realizes something theyve invented could cure the child. Now the hard part is convincing them to let the villain help.

10

The villain starts to notice the hero is feeling more down the usual, so they start leaving the hero little notes to cheer them up. All is going well until the hero figures out who is sending them.

11

In a world of magic users where everyone is divided into the 6 eye colours, and the colour of your eyes represents what your powers are. Each colour has an elemental power, can talk to a certain type of creature(Invertebrates, fish, amphibians, reptiles, birds, mammals), and has 3 other powers. For example, blue eyes control water, can commune with fish, etc. Everyone in the world has either red, orange, yellow, green, blue or purple eyes. Except for you, you were born with black eyes. Everyone is afraid of what your powers will be, but they should be more worried about the kind of creatures you can talk to…

12

A hero and a villain (and maybe their sidekicks, up to you) trapped in a haunted house or haunted location.  

-One is scared so the other comforts them. They are both scared but trying to act like they aren’t. -One doesn’t believe in ghosts, and the other has the power to communicate with them or see them. -Ghosts aren’t real, but one continues to try and freak the other out, who claims they aren’t scared. -Ghost wingman. I need’ d say no more -One gets possessed, so the other has to do the whole ‘kiss to break a curse’ thing to bring them out of it. -The classic Person A thinks ghosts aren’t real so they prank Person B to scare them. Then shit gets real, but person B doesn’t believe person A, thinking its just another prank.

13

“I trusted you! You promised!”

“I kept my promise! I got you your results! Don’t question my methods from a top that high moral horse or yours, especially when the only reason you made a deal with me in the first place was because you were too much of a coward to do what needed to be done!”

14

The local wildfire has been growing out of control, forcing the city to have to evacuate. Suddenly, the villain with water powers shows up to lend a hand to fire fighters.

15

“Tell me hero,” the villain spoke, chains jangling from where they hung on the villains wrists as they walked up to the bars of the jail cell, “If you wanted to skip a press conference, could you?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re sisters getting married, but your needed for a big event at the hero academy that day. Would you be allowed to attend the wedding? What about if your brother stole a pack of gum. Could you let it slide? Not would you, but could you?”

The hero paused. Could they? They had responsibilities! They had commitments to the city, and to the serving of justice!

The villain laughed at the heros silence, “I may be in jail, but you’re more chained then I’ll ever be,”

16

“So tell me,” the villain drawled, dragging a finger across the heros skin, making them shiver, “what changed your mind?”

17

Hero discovers the villain has a day job. It isnt at all what they expected. (Day care, animal shelter, etc)

18

“What are you going to do if you beat me, and suddenly the city dosent need a hero? What are you going to do if you get hurt and can no longer fight, and the city forgets about you just like all the heros before you? Who will you be when your legacy crumbles under the weight of all those who follow? Will you take up knitting?”

The hero stared unblinking and frozen as the villain took a step forward.

“Sure, your a hero. But what are you without that?”

The villain took another step forward.

“Your nothing, heroism is all you have. That pathetic title you curl up to every night. But without it?” They looked the hero up and down, “Absolutely nothing…”

19

A villain retires from villainy and gets plastic surgery (or simply never showed their face) so they can live a normal life without being recognized. While living their new life, they bump into the hero, and the two start falling for eachother. But the villain is terrified of the hero finding out the truth

20

The hero slammed their front door as quickly as they could, eyes wide, heart pounding.

The villain. The villain was outside their door.

“Well that was rude,”

21

A hero with magic powers, in a world where magic is unheard of. They have always kept their powers a secret, fearing they would be shunned, or tested on. They never use their powers in battle.

One day, while practicing their magic alone in the woods, the villain appears out of nowhere. 

Before the hero can explain, the villain asks, “you have powers too?”

22

A hero dies. Or at least, they think they do. The next thing they know they wake up at their own funeral. And the only person there? Is the villain.

23

“The worst part, is you had the nerve to call it love”