#I think there was also a sort of revolt from the comedy people with it being in its category…

[accioepiphany]

So the third season really Killed The Bear’s momentum huh

[rexis12]

(FGO) What went wrong with Scheherazade

As people who have played FGO and Agartha have repeatedly complained, one of the characters that a lot of them tend to say was done wrong is Scheherazade. She was the Framing Device for A Thousand Nights, as a woman who was to be married to a cruel king and was used to tell 1000 stories that all ended on cliffhangers so that she could survive, but also spare the lives of future women since the king killed any that he married because of in-universe reasons.

Now because of such she’s normally seen as a pretty badass lady, who wins through guile and wit to beat the king/sultan that she was married to.

In FGO however, as a Servant (And implied slightly with her CE) she’s traumatised by the event of her life and now constantly fears death and is downright nuerotic about it. With an even further implication that in Fate she wasn’t spared and was actually killed after 1000 nights. It’s in her Bond Info if you want to check.

Now this is where people don’t like Schez, and in a way I can agree. However, I personally think that this is a neat change, simply because we get another Servant who’s life in the Throne of Heroes is fucked up because they became a Servant. Being summoned as one causing her to potentially face the very thing she spent her whole life trying to avoid, dying by a cruel king (Especially when you consider that most Mages in Nasuvers are ruthless pyschos). It’s a neat narrative way of showing that the Throne of Heroes and the Shadows of Humaniy inside them are still people/

So far as I can tell, the closest we get to Schez is Spartacus, and we’ll get to him later.

Now the main issue that I think comes from Schez isn’t just that now as a Servant she’s afraid of death. I think the main issue is that the made that fear a part of her comedy instead of her character and serious moments.

In Fate there are characters that often have funny haha moments with the bullshit that they went through in their lives.

Lancelot’s whole cheating thing, while people are somewhat sick of it, is treated as a funny sort of gag that people egg him on about. As such is Diarmuid’s own affair with Fion’s wife. Both of these are somewhat serious events, but the characters and the stories themselves try not to put too much weight on them so that when the joke happens it’s not completely jarring.

Compare and contrast that to Lancelot feeling like a traitorous asshole and Diarmuid’s genuine shame at non-intentionally betraying the trust of Fion, even though the events above are linked the feeling of this is treated as it’s own thing and further more are given much more weight. As such they don’t joke about it.

(Moriarty’s scene in Las Vegas with  Lancelot is a good example of such a thing)

Now Schez is afraid of death, as one should be, but instead of that being a very strong or powerful part of her motivation as a Servant or a character, it ends up as a gag instead of actually something serious. The only time when it was serious, was when at the end of Agartha when she listed off how horrible it would be to continually live and die as a Servant, and even then it’s hard to take it seriously when they joke about it so much before hand.

Now could they still have make jokes about it? Well sure, look at Vlad III and how sometimes the story pokes fun at his desire to not be remembered as Dracula. But even then, especially in his Interlude, the make it so that it’s moments of levity amongst a serious topic that he’s talking about rather than it being the but of the joke.

Instead of:

“Haha Vlad doesn’t want to be Dracula.”

It’s:

“Vlad is so serious about not wanting to be seen as Dracula, haha look at some of the things he did because of it.”

The motivation is not mocked, but the actions taken are made somewhat humorous.

Now I brought up Spartacus before, and I think that he’s a good example of this happening much sooner. He was a gladiator slave that lead a rather famous revolt, but eventually died betrayed by the pirates that he hired to get away sadge.

But as a result he was considered a Hero and could be summoned. BUT, the best thing about him is that he’s so afraid of being summoned by a Cruel Master that would be the same that treated him like a slave, that he would rather be summoned as a Berserker with zero-to-none mental capacity just because he hates the chance of being a slave again. He would rather be rememebered as this flailing madman, instead of the charismatic hero leading the slaves that he freed. The Throne of Heroes absolutely fucks him up, and he does all he can to counter such events.

In Apocrypha Spartacus was nothing as a character, he shouted about Oppressors but did nothing about the Humonculus that was breed and made to serve the black team, had no words properly with Amakusa who was a famously persecuted Christian in Japan, and died before he could run into what Avicebron did to his loyal student/follower.

His whole thing, while given a serious backstory, was not used at all and just seemed like he was there to be a raging object or obstacle. Not of his motives were really talked about, besides the barest of hints, and his ‘Death to Oppressors’ just seemed like things that were slapped on, rather than an actual character.

This was made worse in FGO when most of the time it’s used as a Joke. Spartacus would scream Oppressors at nothing, he would say it to nonsensical things and would come off as an idiot rather than anything else. It causes it to become:

“Haha Spartacus hates Oppressors.”

And it’s why Lostbelt 3 is where he managed to shine, because of the fact that LB3 actually looked at the motives of Spartacus and wrote a character with motivation. To stop not only oppression, but to help the little guys that would need it. He has an actual conversation about his thought process with the civilians, with Chaldea, with Goredolf. He gives a full on reason that is understandable, to him at least, about how and why he can defect. And when he’s faced with the largest form of oppression given.

And best of all he backs up his words by going against the big man (Qin Shi Huang) even sacrificing his ‘Not being treated as a Servant’ Rule because he wants to protect not only you but the people in the village. This is the guy, who if the material is to be believed, would take TWO Command Seals to just stop him from running. And he’d probably get his movement back to just decapitate you on the spot the moment you enter in his range.

Again there are moments of levity, but they come from his Berserker status as oppose to just his reasons. It becomes:

“Spartacus really hates Oppressors, haha look at some of the things he does.”

It’s why instead of him leading the village towards the Lostbelt Chinese army feels less like a joke, but more of a serious moment that he went to because of his motives.

Scheherazade doesn’t have that. Besides Agartha, her fear of death is played as a joke all of the time, and that kills what mights be a fun part of her character and how that explore how she and others might feel about it.

But as it stands now, instead of:

“Scheherazade really hates dying, haha here’s some of the things she said/done to avoid it.”

Right now, Schez is:

“Haha, Scheherazade is afraid of dying.”

[xoruffitup]

Annette: The AD Devotee Review

So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!

Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.

While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.

A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.

To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!

The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work. 

And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!

The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.

Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!

Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….

I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.

But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.

Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.

While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.

Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.

His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.  

Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.

In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.

Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.

(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.

Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.

The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.

Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺

I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.

Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.

Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”

Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.

On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.

Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.

...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.

I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3

Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)

*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*

Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)

The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.

The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.

Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.

Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)

Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.

…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.

BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)

[seoracle]

DRIVERS LICENSE; ii

Pairing: Bang Chan x Idol! Gender Neutral Reader

Genre: Fake Dating! AU, Angst, Lovers to Enemies(?), Occasional Pining, Comedy, Smut 

Summary: Y/N has become an overnight sensation with ‘Drivers License’, Breaking records left and right…But what if the press gets wind of the ill-matched lovers and their company decide it’s the perfect attention ploy?

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: Mature themes, Dry-humping and Drinking, Angst warning

A/N: part three will conclude this series, thank you for the support!

“So Y/N, I’ll only ask one question on the topic but...What attracted you to Bang Chan?” 

“Well, everything really.” You say with a fond smile. “When we first met I had just moved to Sydney and he took care of me. I think I started liking him then, But I only confessed when we were both trainees.” 

“How cute!” The interviewer gushes, fanning herself. “I hope you two have many happy days to come.”

Things had been jam-packed since the news of you and Chan had come out, his fandom had been more welcoming than you had expected and left lots of sweet comments under your social media accounts. You hadn’t done any interviews until today, just music shows or performances. You also hadn’t actually seen or spoken to him since it all went down, not even at the meeting.

In fairness you had both become extremely busy, and constantly were a hot topic for netizens. Your fame had skyrocketed even more so than it originally did, you had now become the ambassador of a major brand and already had a performance booked for the end of year awards with a brand new song.

Your mind went back to your conversation with Chan and how quick you had been to blurt out hurtful words that you no longer meant. 

You knew it was up to you to reach out, but admitting your actions were over the top isn’t something you’re ready to do. You hadn’t technically lied but calling him a sellout was a low blow, and although he wasn’t an angel he wouldn’t say something like that to you. 

Today is a better day than any to deliver your reluctant apology, a fake date is scheduled for a popular book store that recently finished an extension for their in store cafe.You dressed casually and made sure to bring your mask and matching black baseball hat, along with Tims Tams.

Even though it’s only 1pm, the sky is dim and dreary which makes the walk to the cafe a bit more nerve-wracking. What if he chews you out before you can get a word in? He was always good at that. The scent of arabica coffee beans brings you to your senses and you walk in before you can make a run for it and never return, goodbye idol life, au revoir pilates and adiós to Christopher Bang.

“You actually came.” A voice remarks, making you squeal in surprise. 

“What the fuck?!” You screech, placing a hand over your heart to try calm it’s rapid beating.

He opens the door, smiling in amusement at your terror. You settle in a corner with a large bright window, perfect for paparazzi and incase you nervous retch. Chan heads to the counter and comes back with a double shot Americano and a Green Tea Latte.

“Thanks.” You murmur sheepishly, feeling like a complete asshole for lashing out at him.

“I wanted to run something by you, well, to clarify something…” He begins to explain, waiting for your nod of approval before he begins. “I didn’t even know Seungah, or ‘Mijoo’ properly until we broke up. I wouldn’t hurt you like that, I know I still did but I just wanted you to understand.”

You’re taken aback by him not being mad at you for two weeks ago, even though he has every right to be. If he had said half the things you had said he wouldn’t know any peace for the rest of his life.

“Thank you for clarifying, But I should be apologising…” You began hesitantly, did he want you to just move on and say nothing? Still, you’re not that person anymore. “I was way out of line to say all that stuff about you, which wasn’t true at all. You worked hard to get where you are and I’m happy for you, if anyone deserves the world it’s you.” 

While he processes your words with his mouth ajar, you push the Tim Tams to his side of the table. His eyes light up and he rips into them immediately, dunking one into his warm coffee and although you find it semi-revolting, you smile.

You spend the next half hour sharing the biscuits and stories of wardrobe mishaps and what you’ve both been up to in the last few years. It doesn’t take long before you feel comfortable in his presence, not fully but more than you thought possible after all that went down.

Chan ends up finishing the packet and relaxes into his chair with a content sigh, you can’t help but smile at the sight. It quickly fades when you spot paparazzi in heards outside the cafe.

“They found us, totally not like our companies tipped them off.” Chan comments, turning back to you after squinting at them for a bit.

“Quick, act surprised.” You order, as you start making over-exaggerated expressions to the cameras.

The flashing of cameras is nothing new to either of you at this point and you head upstairs to the book section, scanning from classics, science fiction and biographies of people you’d never heard of. Chan spots a section of books with their covers hidden under wrapping and the descriptions written in black ink. You decide on a poetry book from the 1700s with a little sun drawn on the brown paper, Chan picks a Sci-Fi thriller and you shake your head knowingly.

Afterwards, Chan walks you home through the playground near your tiny apartment and makes small talk about music, he picks your brain about melodies and what your favourite synth sounds are. It’s hard to believe less than a month ago you wanted to rip his head off. 

“Let’s sit for a bit.” Chan says, situating himself on a swing.

It doesn’t take you long to join him on the swing to his right, if there’s nothing worse than one idiot on a swing it’s two idiots on swings. Instead of chatting you focus on seeing how high up you can go and Chan watches, shaking his head in embarrassment.

“You’re an actual child.” He teases, grabbing a hold of the rope to slow you down. 

“Hey, no fair.” You huff, grounding yourself by using your feet, turning to him with a pout.

He rolls his eyes and ruffles your hair just like he used to, and embarrassingly it makes you feel happy. Just like you used to back when you first met in Sydney and he was all you knew. 

Stop thinking about the past, you say mentally, what’ll It change?

To distract yourself you decide it’s time to go somewhere else, and get up with the intent of forgetting whatever feelings your brain is fabricating. You can hear footsteps behind you and sigh, he’s not letting you go that easy.

“Where are you going?” Chan calls out, finally catching up to you.

“A bar, I assumed you were still on that drinking ban.” You say feigning your intentions of ditching him for your own benefit.

“That ended two years ago,” He replies with a small smile, “What bar exactly?”

“You’ll see.” 

“Y/N….you said a bar, this is a club.” Chan says, stating the obvious. 

It’s a small place just on the outskirts of the bustling city, illuminated by purple and blue with none of the  ridiculous cocktail names, dry humping and reek of Victoria’s Secret perfume you became accustomed to in Seoul. 

“Same difference,” You reply with a shrug, sitting down at an empty velvet sofa. “Wanna be a dear and get us some drinks?”

Chan shakes his head with his usual grin and heads to the counter, you can’t help but notice how buff he’s gotten in the last few years. You look away when he takes the drinks off the counter and focus on the fabric of your ripped jeans instead, fiddling with the loose strings.

“A rum and coke for you and a black russian for me.” He announces, sitting down on the other end of the couch. 

“Perfect choice.” You say thankfully, raising the glass to your lips and taking several gulps.

The blond raises an eyebrow, sipping at his caffeinated cocktail at a more leisurely pace, soon one drink becomes four and a round of shots later you can gladly say any warm fuzzy feelings have been replaced with drunk fuzzy feelings. Chan, who's only had two drinks laughs at your predicament as the bartender cuts you off for the night.

“Chris, order another round!” You instructed giddily, clinging onto his arm.

“Yeah, and carry you home drunk? I don’t think so.” He retorts, finishing his soju.

You grumble incoherencies under your breath, leaning into him and shutting your eyes. He inquisitively still smells the same and carries the same soothing aura that everyone seemed to pick up on. He hums to the song playing and you can feel his chest vibrate when he messes up on a lyric and laughs. The alcohol makes everything seem blurred around the edges and rose-tinged, he puts his arm around you and it all feels right.

“Y/N, Y’Alright?” 

“Yeah, you?” You slur, smiling into his neck, you can feel him chuckle when your eyelashes tickle his skin.

Everything becomes hazy after that, you hardly remember Chan helping you into the back of a taxi or guiding you to your front door. He searches your bag for the front door key and then your jacket, you giggle drunkenly, making the corners of his eyes crinkle.

“Back pocket,” You state with an amused grin.

Chan reaches down into the back pocket of your jeans and the contact makes your cheeks redden and you inhale deeply. He doesn’t seem to notice and clasps onto the key, before he takes the key out you place your hand around his wrist and hold it there. He looks at you with an uncertain glance, his eyes searching yours for confirmation of some sort, arching into his touch gives him the clarification he needs and he presses his lips to yours in a hungry, intrusive kiss. 

You bring your hands up to his hair and tug on it lightly, as if to bring him even closer if possible. Chan groans into your mouth at the feeling and you take advantage of the moment and control the kiss while he eagerly follows, one hand firmly squeezing your ass while and starts to grind against you. The only sounds you hear are his ragged breathing and the quiet whimper that leaves him when you pull apart to nip at his jaw.

“Y/N,” He pleads, rutting against your thigh with desperation. You answer his pleas, allowing him between your thighs, he kisses your ear appreciatively and helps you up onto the low metal shelf by your doorway for better access grind against your sex.

He whines profanities into your neck when you meet his ruts in a more languid pace, it only makes him more desperate for you. You sigh in pleasure at the sight, although your vision is hazy his swollen lips and furrowed brows are as clear as day. You can tell how close he is by how unsteady his breathing is, he cries out your name repeatedly and you coo at him.

“Pathetic, I haven’t even wrapped my hand around your cock and you’re ready to blow your load.” You mock, pretending you aren’t at the edge yourself.

“Ah, shit..!” He bellows, hot breath hitting your neck. “I’m gonna cum.”

You watch his mouth fall agape as he finally reaches his peak, his blonde hair is plastered against his face and his skin has a sheen that suits him well. Chan gasps as you start up again, the overstimulation making him writhe, he slips one hand down the front of your jeans, which surprises you because you still feel secure being held up with just one arm. You rut against his hand, he knows exactly where to touch and your moans only spur him on until you finally reach your own climax, biting down on his shoulder when you do.

Nothing is said while you both collect yourselves, Chan drops you down and presses his forehead to yours while he catches his breath. The alcohol starts to wear off you and fully realise what’s happened and take your keys out of your back pocket, your hands shake and it takes you a while to get the key in and twist it.

“Y/N?” He calls out, sounding helpless. 

“I’m sorry, Chris.” 

Ignoring the downcast expression on his face you go inside, looking at him once more and telling him you’re sorry again and that he should leave. When you slam the door, he calls out for you to open it again, fifteen minutes later he leaves and you’re in the shower crying. You had just done to Mijoo what had been your biggest fear, but she would have never done that to you.

She was a good person and you were disgusting with no morals.

How the fuck had it all happened so fast? Meeting Chris again, loathing him, fake dating him, feeling emotions for him and now practically fucking him? Nothing had really changed, even before the breakup it had always been you crawling back to him and him feeling as if gravity was pulling you two back together just to tear you away again. ‘Cruel fate’ he called it, you call it nonsense to make him feel better.

Whatever it was, it needed to stop or finally be faced.

It’s just after 12pm the next day when you wake up, everything hurts and you try to piece together what little you remember before that thing with Chris. You groan into the palms of your hands and try to think of a solution, you couldn’t ignore or avoid him, at least not forever. Why did you ever agree to fake a relationship anyways? If only you could turn back time and tell your CEO and the entire JYP entourage to get fucked.

A buzzing under your pillow snaps you back to your senses, realising it’s your phone you slide your thumb across the screen to accept the call. 

“Hello?”  You ask in a hoarse tone.

“Check literally any news outlet.” A familiar voice says in a monotone voice.

“Iris, Should I be worried?”

Iris doesn’t reply and you decide to check Twitter, upon opening it you’re bombarded with notifications that all lead back to a photo of you and Chan making out. The picture has clearly been scanned to make the quality better, it’s grainy but even you can see how easy it is to tell who is in the photo. Dread fills your body at the thought of what management would say, this could compromise all of your hard work.

“I thought you were done with him,” Iris sighs, “God, Y/N... it took you years to get over him, and he has a real relationship.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” You reply quietly, ignoring the sting of her words.

“I love you, okay? But I’m so worried you’ll end up hurt again.” She admits, you can hear her tapping her nails against wood, a nervous habit. “Just be careful, I’ll call you later.”

As the call ends you sigh with a smile, typical Iris trying to show she cares while remaining unfiltered. You quickly realise there's no point in hiding from any of this and get ready for what you’re sure will be an eventful day. 

When you arrive at the company building you’re quick to sneak past the secretary and into San’s office, he greets you with a suggestive look.

“You’re so lucky the apartment’s security spotted and escorted them out.” San remarks, tongue pressing against his cheek.

“I know, don’t worry Iris got to the lecture first.” You retort, pinching the bridge of your nose once you sit down on his uncomfortable sofa, damn hangovers.

San pulls open a drawer and passes you a bottle of aspirin, which falls to the floor thanks to your slightly altered (and loss of ) coordination. You mumble words of gratitude and dry swallow two.

“So how mad is everyone?” You ask meekly, not meeting his eyes.

“Well, no one really is. It got you more buzz and sales but there is a broken-hearted girl to think about.”

Shit, Mijoo.

You get up in a flash and take San’s unopened energy drink with you, as you exit his office you hear him yelling at you.

“Why does your apartment have shelves at the front door anyways?!”

It’s when you get outside and the fresh air hits that you realise you have no idea what to do. Woolim is a twenty minute walk at best, you have no idea if Mijoo will even be there but it’s worth a shot. On the way you stop to get two cans of iced coffee and hope she’s still feeling kind after what you pulled last night.

The Woolim building is finally in sight and you push the door open and are stunned to see Mijoo on the other side. Her eyes are glassy and swollen and she isn’t giving off her usual bright aura, but still she smiles at you.

“Hey, trying to hit me?” She jokes with a wry laugh.

“Mijoo...can we talk?” 

“Um…” She looks anywhere but your eyes. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Y/N.”

“Seungah, five minutes is all I need. Then if you want I’ll never talk again.” You plead, she sighs but accepts, turning back and leading you to the private back ‘garden’ which is just concrete and a bench.

“Thank you.” You say, bowing your head a little. She laughs and takes a coffee out of the plastic bag when you sit down.

“Formalities aren’t needed between us, what do you want?”

Her bluntness catches you off guard, up close you can see mascara has seeped around her eye bags and dried up. She definitely knew what had happened but wanted to hear it from you, which petrifies you. How are you supposed to casually say the truth and not get punched in the face?

“I know you saw the picture but you need to hear it from me,” You begin, licking your lips. “I kissed Chan, he didn’t return my feelings and he’s probably going to try to take half the blame.”

Mijoo’s facial expression doesn’t change and she takes a sip of coffee, folding her lips into a thin line after she swallows the bitter liquid. 

“I don’t think he ever got over you.” She admits in a downcast tone. “When we started dating he told me he’d always love you a little bit, I just didn’t think you'd come back for him.”

“I didn’t come back for him,” You clarify, “I had no intentions of...any of this. I’m really sorry and I won’t come between you two again. It’s strictly business from now on, you have my word.”

“Why are you so keen on keeping us together?” She says, stunned.

“I don’t want to be the reason anyone is hurt.” 

“What about you then? Won’t this hurt you?”

You don’t reply, instead returning the same kind smile she had given you. Of course it’ll hurt you, but you can’t bear the weight of hurting anyone the way you did, even Chris. For so long it was all you wanted, for him to feel the pain you did that night in his car.

A week passes by in a flash, between schedules and training you haven’t had any time to dwell on Chan which is nice for once. San and Iris make sure to keep you up to date on what he’s been up to since you shooed him away like a bad dog.

Luckily fake media reports of you two being spotted have been enough to keep the ‘break up’ rumours at bay for now. Eventually you will have to face him, but if Mijoo’s Instagram story is any indication, it’s a happy one of them and their daily coffee trips. Meanwhile all your days are spent in the dance studio, trying to perfect your end of year performance.

Your newest track took two weeks alone to record, it was yet again a song you hadn’t intended on releasing. The lyrics were about being drunk, horny and sad which are emotions you felt most days. The choreography was the most challenging part, primarily because you weren’t much of a dancer to begin with. 

“Perfect!” Your teacher, Hyolyn praises with a satisfied smile.

You collapse on the floor and try to catch your breath, taking a second to gulp down water. Although it’s  hard work, it was extremely rewarding. According to San, you’re predicted to win two awards and nominated for four which was insane considering last year you were #9 on ‘Top 10 least watched debuts’. 

“How close am I to acing this?”You ask, completely drained.

“I’d give it a week.” Hyolyn replies after taking a second to evaluate you.

Groaning, you lie down on the hardwood floors and shut your eyes. The performance was in nine days, giving you little to no time to rest. Iris also had you booked for three days of practicing your makeup for the show, which included intricate and trendy tattoo art all over your arms and littered over any other revealed areas, for hair you would be wearing a wig, lighter than your own hair but similar to how it looked in a recent magazine spread. 

It was all down to you to ace this performance, and you only had one shot.

“Y/N? Y/N L/N!” 

San’s voice snaps you back to your senses, he guides you up from the floor and gives you a once-over and decides you look fine. Then, without a word, drags you down through the busy city and into a quaint cafe, filled with greenery and flowers galore. You spot Wooyoung’s blonde hair behind the counter and smile knowingly, of course.

“Am I here to third wheel?” You joke, elbowing his ribs.

“Shut up, We’re here for you to experience a delectable latte topped with chocolate art and if you’re good I’ll buy you a bean bun.” 

You sit down on an empty chair without a word, smiling up at him. There is nothing you wouldn’t do for a fresh bean bun, especially if it’s free. San goes up to the counter, his laugh echoes around the small area when Wooyoung makes a little joke involving word play. Minutes later, a steamy cup of coffee is in front of you with a cute little bunny made of white liquid and you can’t help but look down in amazement.

“Good, right?” Wooyoung beams, full of well-deserved confidence.

“Amazing,” You gush, taking a sip reluctantly, not wanting to ruin the illustration. 

Wooyoung takes a bow and walks back to the counter, brewing up another order in no time, San watches intently resting his chin in the palm of his hand. What an idiot, you think, although you’re slightly envious no one looks at you that way. 

Several more cups and bean buns later, you leave the lovebirds to return home for some well needed rest. Today is the only actual real chance of resting up before the real work begins, even the thought makes your body ache. But all that fades away when you see a familiar face at your door, Chan.

“Chan?” You say bewildered, “Why are you here?”

“Can we talk?” He asks, meeting your eyes for a brief second before looking away again.

“Okay.”

Five minutes later he’s sitting across the coffee table, stirring a cup of instant coffee and not saying a word. What is there to say? You were both drunk exes longing to relive old times, Yes you would always love him but he wasn’t yours anymore, he hadn’t been for years.

You weren’t the same person, the cheap electric guitar you’d adored has spun into a customised Fender, his dark curls had been swapped for blonde locks that hung across his face. You had loved and lost him, found him and begun the cycle again.

“Why did you try to lie to Seungah?” 

“She’s your girlfriend, you clearly care about her and I didn’t want you to lose that because of a stupid mistake.” You say, even though it was no mistake on your behalf.

Chan laughs dryly in response, eyes becoming unreadable and dark.

“You didn’t want me to fuck you that night?” 

Before you can reply he's standing up, walking towards you and clearly loving that in your seated position he towers over you. He notices your thighs are shut as much as they can be and coos. 

“Is that all it takes, huh?” He says, mocking your tone from that night. “As much as you love pushing me around and belittling me, you love to be put in your place don’t you?”

A strained sound leaves your throat and you try to push it away, the feeling of wanting him to be in control, to be vulnerable for him. It’s a feeling you’ve only felt a handful of times and always with him. You knew he was just frustrated and feeling rejected, if anything did happen you’d wake up alone to a regretful voicemail.

“Don’t do something you’ll regret, I would call you dumb but that would turn you on.” You finally retort, standing up to fully enjoy the flush of humiliation come over his face.

“Know your place.”  

“Kiss me,” He pleads, soft eyes full of stars. “Just once more.”

You swallow thickly, once more is all he’s asking for. Hesitating for a second, you raise your arms and gently take his face into your hands, thumbing over his jaw the way he likes and press your lips against his. The kiss is firm and chaste, much unlike the last one that was filled with hunger and urgency, this...feels final. Neither of you pull away, Chan deepening the kiss more and settling on wrapping his arms around you over his oxygen levels. 

You feel tears starting to pool within your closed eyes and it burns, finally pulling away when it all becomes too much. His warm disposition is so apparent in his teary eyes and it hurts more than ever, you drop your hands from his face and he takes them into his own, a bittersweet feeling coming to the surface.

“Goodbye again, Y/N.” Chan says with a smile, letting go your hands and heading towards the door.

“Goodbye, Chris.” You reply in a faltering tone, turning away as he shuts the door behind him. 

You’re left sobbing on the linoleum floors of your apartment, ignoring various buzzes from your phone hours later when you finally calm down enough to sit on the couch and numbly stare at the flickering TV. Then it comes up on a pop music channel, your face and his with the headline: Bang Chan and Y/N announce break up. 

[morningsound15]

i seem to remember you giving some podcast recs that i wanted to check out, but for some reason i can't find them on your blog anymore. am i mistaken? if not, do you think you could repeat them?

omg hi! sorry tumblr was NOT showing me any asks i’m really sorry idk when you sent this but yes! i love this question i love podcasts, and i think i’ve rec’d a few individual episodes? but i’ve definitely not made a whole post so i’m so down for this

idk what sorts of podcasts you listen to but i basically divide my podcasts into shit i listen to for education (leftist podcasts, news podcasts, etc,) and shit i listen to to keep myself sane (pop culture/movie/music podcasts, gay podcasts, tv recap podcasts of shows i used to watch) so i’m gonna give you a lot! basically my whole podcast queue list lol

i’ll link you to their online pages (if they have some! either youtube or a digital library) but most of them are on spotify i believe, a lot of these podcasts also have patreons and i personally listen to all of them through apple podcasts\

(under the cut because it’s LONG hope this helps!)

shit for education:

in a clump right off the top:

-- Revolutionary Left Radio - #1 essential listening for people interested in socialism, leftism, communism, marxism-leninism, etc. current events analyzed with leftist theory, great interviews, honest perspectives from organizers.

-- Red Menace - featuring the host of Rev Left, a podcast that mainly deep dives into leftist theory and texts (specifically marxist-leninist theory, but also mao, fanon, stalin, etc.) if you are new to theory and have trouble tackling difficult texts, this is the podcast for you

-- Guerrilla History - from the host of Rev Left, a podcast that looks at revolutionary uprisings from the perspective of those on the ground, using the past to help make sense of the present

and then some others:

-- 5-4 - "A podcast where we dissect and analyze the Supreme Court decisions that have made this country –by a wide margin– the worst country in the world" all about the us supreme court and the decisions that keep us strangled. great legal analysis highly recommend for people who care about the courts

-- Bad Faith - featuring former bernie sanders press secretary briahna joy gray and chapo trap house host (i know guys i know) virgil texas, this is a more accessible introduction to thinking outside of the american political binary. for people who liked bernie and need to figure out where to go next, this podcast might be helpful, or it just might feed your petty soul

-- Citations Needed - if you only listen to one american news podcast, let it be this one. with a focus on american news and how our news industry manipulates us into supporting imperialism and mass death

-- Death Panel - on pop culture and politics, particularly focusing on the healthcare industry in america and why it’s designed to kill all of us.

-- Decolonized Buffalo (youtube) - with a focus on decolonial theory and current events

-- IT’S GOING DOWN - with a focus on revolutionary anarchist, anti-fascist, anti-capitalist grassroots revolts and social movements across north america.

-- Millennials Are Killing Capitalism - i really recommend everyone follow the host of this podcast josh briond (@ jos.hau on insta and @ queersocialism on twitter) because they have been fundamental to my personal journey into leftist literature, their podcast is incredible and their pop culture takes are always fire. interviews, theory, essential takes on the news.

-- Moderate Rebels (podcast / youtube) - if you want to learn about international news/foreign policy from an anti-imperialist source, Moderate Rebels is the best recommendation i can give you. greyzone reporters Max Bluementhal and Ben Norton host a weekly news podcast that is essential listening if you want to understand what it is to live in the core of the world’s imperialist center

-- Radical Reflections - for an international perspective on revolutionary history, from a comrade based in scotland

-- The Black Sublime Podcast - for a black, queer perspective on pop culture, politics, oppression, and liberation

-- The East is a Podcast - for a perspective on leftist theory, history, and revolutionary movements centering people from the (quote unquote) ‘east’. recent episodes cover such topics as (including but not limited to) china, india, paul robeson, war, decolonization, palestine, iran, tunisia, and strongly centering muslim writers, thinkers and scientists

-- The Minyan - jewish comrades! (specifically marxist-leninist)

-- The Red Nation Podcast -- indigenous comrades (mostly in north america - USA/Canada). essential listening for anyone living in emperial/colonial powerhouses in north america. The Red Nation also has great educational resources

-- Useful Idiots - standard news podcast from people much smarter than me who hate the political establishment almost as much as i do. they have some really good interview episodes

-- Working Class History - some really cool episodes on important events in working class history! great episode on The Exotic Dancer’s Union aka the first stripper co-op in america

shit for sanity/fun:

-- Bad Romance Podcast - comedians jourdain searles and bronwyn isaac watch terrible romantic comedies and then tell you all about them

-- Buffering the Vampire Slayer - THE buffy rewatch podcast! they’re deep into season 6 at this point, but features great (gay!) content, buffy analysis, excellent guests, interviews with the original cast, and an original song every episode based on that episode. this podcast brings me only joy

-- Girls on Porn - a porn review podcast featuring only ethically-made porn, tackling kink, fetishization, racism in the porn industry, and so much more

-- GLEEwind - don’t judge me lol i like recap podcasts and this one has the right amount of fun with the right amount of will schuester hate

-- How Did This Get Made? - funny people (and great actors) Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael and Jason Mantzoukas watch truly awful movies and then talk all about it

-- Keep It! - for everything in music, tv and celebrity culture featuring Ira Madison III, Louis Virtel, and Aida Osman. great interviews, always makes me laugh

-- Las Culturistas - bowen yang and matt rogers’ weekly culture podcast, also featuring great interviews and a lot of survivor talk

-- Popcast - i don’t like the NYT but i do sometimes like their music podcast, they review new shit, big shit, and all the shit you might be hearing about from the music world

-- Still Processing - again, do not like the NYT but DO like what jenna wortham and wesley morris have to say about what’s happening in the world

-- The Big Picture - another movie podcast! this one features great interviews with actors and directors, as well as takes on popular movies that i generally agree with (although way too much love for marvel movies for me)

-- Why Won’t You Date Me? - nicole beyer’s hilarious podcast where she talks to other comedians about their dating woes. surprisingly heart-felt, always hilarious

[serendipitous-magic]

when you were talking about stylistic influences, you said that you found it hard to do comedy. would you mind elaborating on that? i also find that there's very little writing that makes me LOL, and most of what does is fanfic. have you seen comedy done well in writing (novels, fic, etc.)? how do you approach it yourself? (btw fwiw i think your comedic sense is great)

Writing comedy is like writing a sex scene. You have to maintain tension. Except, I find comedy 200% harder, because with sex scenes you can rely on physicality. It’s a momentum built on what and how the character feels. There’s expectation and payoff, just like with comedy - except, in comedy, the payoff often hinges on surprise. A reversal of expectations - or, if not a reversal, simply something you didn’t expect. A huge amount of comedy is made up of the unexpected. We laugh because we’re taken off guard.

Ex:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D61dV18TNE

Ex:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBJU9ndpH1Q

Ex:

Ex:

Now, not all humor is based on shock or Wacky Zany Unexpectedness, but I would argue that all humor relies on a sort of momentum, a tension. It’s something you have to actively keep up throughout the duration of however long the humor is supposed to last - and if you’re writing a comedy, that’s the whoooole thing. It’s performative, in a way. You can’t create comedy passively, even if part of the humor relies on silence or expectant pauses; you have to be engaged, start to finish. It takes a lot of creative energy, even for people who have a gift or passion for it.

And moreover, even for people with a natural gift for comedy, it’s a skill. You get better at it when you practice. There are rhythms and shortcuts and rules of thumb.

I would say this may be especially true when you’re writing, because (unless you’re working with a co-writer), writing is just you. If you’re an actor or performer you have your co-stars to play off of; or, at the very least, you likely have an audience. Humans naturally feed off of each other’s emotional states. We’re herd animals. Ever noticed how it’s 1000% easier to laugh when you’re around friends than when you’re alone? For me, it’s even much easier to laugh when I’m listening to a podcast or watching a video than when I’m reading, because hearing human voices tricks my brain into thinking, “Oh, it’s Social Time!”

I personally find writing pure comedy difficult because it’s just me, sitting alone in a room typing words on a screen. However, I also haven’t done much comedy, and like I said it’s a practicable skill, so I’m sure I’d get better at it if I made a real effort to practice.

Comedy well done in novels:

Douglas Adams! Especially The Hitchhiker’s Guide series. Classic touchstone of literary comedy in my opinion. 

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”

“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

Terry Pratchett also does a great job at humor - I especially enjoyed his team-up with Neil Gaiman for Good Omens:

“All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.” 

“Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.”

“The Kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.”

They also do a fantastic job with situational humor, such as Crowley’s car being on fire and the one random guy giving directions completely ignoring it because he’s like “Well, surely he must know his car is on fire.” 

Rick Riordan:

“Ever come home and found your room messed up? Like some helpful person (hi, Mom) has tried to “clean” it, and suddenly you can’t find anything? And even if nothing is missing, you get that creepy feeling like somebody’s been looking trough your private stuff and dusting everything with lemon furniture polish?”

“I’ve met plenty of embarrassing parents, but Kronos, the evil Titan Lord who wanted to destroy Western Civilization? Not the kind of dad you invited to school for Career Day.”

“He’d changed since the last summer. Instead of Bermuda shorts and a T-shirt, he wore a button-down shirt, khaki pants, and leather loafers. His sandy hair, which used to be so unruly, was now clipped short. He look like an evil male model, showing off what the fashionable college-age villain was wearing to Harvard this year.”

“We only came close to dying six or seven times which I thought was pretty good. A minute later Annabeth hit a slippery patch of moss and her foot slipped. Fortunately she found something else to put it against. Unfortunately that something was my face.”

J.K. Rowling:

I love me a smart-ass narrator.

“This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this.”

“Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides. 'So — after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating —' 'Jordan!' growled Professor McGonagall. 'I mean after that open and revolting foul —' 'Jordan, I'm warning you —' 'All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure, so a penalty to Gryffindor, taken by Spinnet, who puts it away, no trouble, and we continue play, Gryffindor still in possession.”

-_-_-_-

I’m having trouble finding the funniest quotes, but y’all know what I’m talking about.

As far as how I approach it myself:

Well, see the top up there. (Waaaaay up there before my whole lecture, lol.) If I’m trying to write something humorous, I approach it from an angle of momentum or energy. Keep up a kind of tension, even if the scene itself is fairly laid-back, and play on unexpectedness - sometimes situational, sometimes in phrasing or dialogue. A snarky narrator is always a good way to add an edge. 

Basically, if I’m trying to be funny in my writing, I write as if I’m joking around with a group of friends - the group of friends being my audience. Same ballpark. Reference inside jokes (which were established earlier in the story), play on repetition and reversal of expectations, joke around about “relatable” things (much of early meme humor relied on this), be sarcastic or dry or exaggerated as the situation calls for. Even if there’s no one really there and I’m just typing words on a page, I find it much easier to approach humor if I come at it from a perspective of kidding around with my audience and having fun with them, instead of just sitting by myself at my desk writing words.

Well that was kind of all over the place but hopefully it answered your questions!

I should start a consistent tag for these asks where I accidentally write long-winded essays on how I write.

[swanning-around]

Possibly the best thing written on current UK politics, from Rex Varro, British Intelligence magazine - www.british-intelligence.co.uk

PRESSGANGED : BORIS JOHNSON AND THE BRITISH MEDIA

REX VARRO

1st September

​

It seems that people on the Right in Britain are broadly split into two camps: those who say Boris Johnson is a bullshitting waste of space, and those who think the prime minister will come good if we can just get past coronavirus.

I can see both sides of this. Yes, coronavirus dropped from a clear sky onto a government fondling an 80-seat majority and a country collectively sighing with relief at having avoided a Labour Party captured by communism and also having voted in a prime minister who promised an end to Tory lies about Brexit. Just like the moments in movies when someone asks what could possibly go wrong now, everything went pear-shaped very quickly.

Readers of British Intelligence being clever and well informed sorts, I do not need to recapitulate the sorry story of the past six months. True, Johnson became very ill – and some say he has yet to fully recover – but his absence made it all the more clear that the cabinet is like a giant rock band with a great front man: once he goes it is fatally reduced. I know that people pay good money to see Queen and The Blockheads, but as far as I am concerned, without Freddie and Ian it is a complete waste of time. True, you still have Priti Patel on bass as it were but it’s not enough.

Then there is the media’s obsessive hatred of Johnson. Back in the Eighties when I held left-wing views about society I often heard people moaning about Tory control of the media. It is hard to credit how strong and aggressive newspapers were in those days, yet even then I was sceptical about the supposed control papers such as the Sun held over public thought. The public’s innate conservativism was reflected by newspapers, not the other way round. It is typical that the Left got this arse about face, and still does. I still have Labour-supporting friends who rant about ‘Tory hate comics’, imagining that dying publications such as the Sun, the Daily Express and the Daily Telegraph are all that stands between them and a socialist Britain.

In any case, the ‘serious’ media, including many ‘broadsheets’, the BBC, Sky News, Channel 4 and ITV news, is now largely controlled by what is best described as a Blairite worldview. This means they hate Johnson. That they cannot see him as one of their own is indicative of how ignorant, unimaginative and saturated in received wisdom these institutions are. For Johnson is very close to the kind of politician they want: a social liberal, a can-kicker on debt, a wildly enthusiastic burner of public money and very much pro mass immigration. What, as they would say, is not to like?

Well, what they don’t like is that he’s posh – though that is OK if you are in the Labour Party –  went to Eton and above all has at times described women and certain minorities in jocular and pejorative terms. Yes, in his journalism he deployed a sub-Wodehousian style which while threadbare is not, to any sane grown-up, an indication of fascism.

The man deployed levity! He joked. He mentioned piccaninnies, bumboys and made mild fun of burkas. This is the most serious heresy for the media left. They know perfectly well that what Orwell said is true: every joke is a tiny revolution. The Left’s power increasingly resides in the controlling and policing of social attitudes. Real jokes, jokes that reflected events and behaviour in the world, were effectively banned a long time ago in the comedy revolutions of the Eighties and Nineties. The Left rejoices in snide sarcasm and social satire aimed at white people but jokes that kick against the fortress of identity politics can never be tolerated or forgotten, because if political correctness falls then the whole leftist project falls with it. Johnson’s crime is that he has never taken it seriously enough. That and also having the cheek to say he would stand by the result of the Brexit referendum.

Compare Johnson with the ultimate cuckservative Theresa May, with her capitulation to the Left on identity politics, policing and, don’t forget, her Frida Kahlo bracelet. What an easy ride she got from television news reporters (the most aggressively Blairite operators in the media)! She bought in to all their wrong ideas, accepted their premises and above all was committed to emasculating Brexit in broad daylight while promising the electorate that she was doing the opposite – a good old fashioned member of the political class in other words. If the media elite was not so fanatical and lost in a hammock-spin of fury over Brexit and Trump etc, it would realise that Johnson is not so far from May as his grassroots fans think: he has the primary Tory vice of seeking to work round issues caused by left-wing mischief making and wrongheadedness  rather than openly confronting and fighting them. Much of this will be due to entrenched public relations micromanagement inside Number Ten. Nevertheless, if Boris was the kind of freebooting maverick he is often sold as then he would have gone off-piste long ago. He hasn’t. The Conservative Party believes that it is easier and more electorally advantageous to ride the tiger of cultural Marxism rather than fight it, despite it being obvious that making war on PC is a vote-winner and, in the long game, the only way liberty, free trade and the rule of law – in short the centre right’s vision of society – will survive.

It must be recognised that revolution is being propagated in the West but Johnson is yet to show he is taking a different line to the Cameron/May governments. Cameron, a weapons-grade bullshitter, made speeches about social justice as did Theresa May, who in 2017 even instituted the pure socialism of a ‘race audit’ to tackle ‘burning injustices’. Johnson has been more practical with his talk of levelling up, but now Covid-19 has offered the Left the chance of perhaps its biggest power grab since 1945. It doesn’t want the crisis to end, at least not until it has seen society permanently changed, essentially a vast expansion of state power, state spending and interference in private life along with a new drive towards supranational relations to militate against the Brexit revolt. Worryingly, this is the agenda for the global elites. See what the World Economic Forum is doing with its ‘Great Reset’ initiative. Johnson fans often ask me how this can be achieved if there is no Labour government in Britain. Even asking the question reveals naivety: media campaigns, a left-leaning civil service, PR, forums, think-tanks, green papers and the like are the methods employed to chivvy ministers along, rather as a sheepdog herds its charges into an enclosure.

This all means that Johnson’s in-tray is massive and ominously fateful. This is not a time for standard soaking wet Tory tactics: fudging, ‘British compromise’ and managed decline. If this government gets the Covid fallout wrong the consequences will be far reaching.

What should Johnson do? Until it gets the sort of echt centre-left leader it craves, the media likes to present Britain as a pandemonium of dissent and protest. It is true that the revolutionary urge is growing, but race and environmental activists are comparatively small in number yet Johnson’s media handlers evidently live in fear of them or rather in fear of the media’s constant propaganda in their favour. Johnson should get all this in perspective and realise that the ‘silent majority’ does not want to live in the future the Left are dragging us all to. Therefore he is a lot safer than he thinks he is. In any case he is years from a general election so can afford to take gambles, be radical and forthright across the fields of education, law and order, sexual politics and international relations.

The lingering popularity of Margaret Thatcher, which was quite out of proportion to her actual achievements in office, was based on her straight talking and unqualified patriotism. Every prime minister since her time in office has more or less spoken with a forked tongue, aided and abetted by the media. Most reasonable intelligent ordinary people over the age of about 40 know the public have been lied to for years across a range of issues, the biggest one being immigration. Johnson must break the mould and set a precedent. Otherwise, and rather sooner than you think, this country will be truly ungovernable.

Rex Varro is a national newspaper journalist

Online Magazine of Ideas | British Intelligence | The Life of the Mind | Politics and Arts

©2019 by British Intelligence. Proudly created with Wix.com

[zukalations]

We Are EXCITER! - Farewell Talk (Matobu Sei and Fujii Daisuke)

This talk between then-Flower Troupe Top Star Matobu Sei and Takarazuka Revue director Fujii Daisuke was published for Matobu’s retirement in the April 2011 issue of Kageki.

We Are EXCITER! - Farewell Talk (Matobu Sei and Fujii Daisuke)

Fujii: Thank you so much for selecting me on this occasion. Even though we do talk once in a while already (laughs).

Matobu: But we don't talk in depth very often (laughs). Ever since EXCITER!!, I've been working with you the whole time. I think it must have never happened before, to work with the same director for 3 revues in a row.

Fujii: Yeah. Even though we hadn't had much of a connection before them. I'm glad to be able to work with you on your final show as well.

Matobu: I think the first time I worked under you might have when I did the Revolt of a Gallant Poet junior performance, while I was in Star Troupe. The other day, I read in my memorial book* some of the commentary you gave me back then...you don't remember, do you!? (laughs)

Fujii: Huh!? I don't remember a bit...

Matobu: I didn't remember it clearly myself, but you told me something like although I gave a sexy performance I was lacking in the subtle details. So after that, even now I'll wonder if I'm lacking in the subtle details (laughs).

Fujii: What...You put in so much subtle detail currently (laughs). I remember thinking that you were a really Takarazuka-esque otokoyaku, and that you were really pretty and Japanese-style productions suited you well.

Matobu: Before my transfer, I also worked with you on Soul of Shiva!!, but didn't really get a chance to actually talk to you. Therefore EXCITER!! must have been the first time we talked.

Fujii: Yeah. My impression of Yuu-kun (Matobu) back then was that you were really suited to acting-heavy plays like Shigure Hill Road in Nagasaki or The Rose of Versailles.

Matobu: Is that right, I hear that a lot...

Fujii: But since I felt that you were full of modern appeal, I thought that the show EXCITER!! would draw that out. And I think it went pretty decently (laughs).

Matobu: It was so much fun!

Fujii: Sometime when I wasn't paying attention it became a really sexy show. Although that gave me some concerns when I was creating the Mr. YU** scene. Before rehearsals started I tried asking you 'I put in a bit of a comedy section, is that okay?'...

Matobu: I told you I was also wanting something with the concept of goofing around during the day and turning into a gigolo at night and you said you were really happy. We felt like if we were going to do it we should go all out. ...How did that guy [Mr. YU] come into existence, anyway laughs).

Fujii: If I was investigating his background, I think it's most likely originating from Lina-chan, in Singin' in the Rain. You might have forgotten by this time, but I was attached to that production as an assistant.

Matobu: Ah, I'd totally forgotten that! (laughs)

Fujii: Yuu-kun's Lina was so funny and I thought you were amazing. "This girl is so clever and talented to be able to make her voice come out like that," I thought. I think it was starting there that I gradually got the impression of you as a comedienne. And then I went to see the show right before [EXCITER!!], Me And My Girl, and I thought "wow, this is great," so that's how MR. YU happened.

Matobu: I see, Bill's character was one of the elements then. So that's how it ended up as something so funny.

Fujii: But I never expected that it would be revived a year later.

Matobu: Although my partner had changed***, it was with the same troupe and the cast members were largely the same. I feel like being able to do EXCITER!! is my biggest achievement. I think it was a show that really showed off Flower Troupe, as well as being able to tie together with what Flower Troupe might become in the future.

Fujii: Right. Between the first performance and the revival, Yuu-kun became even more manly, like your manly intensity had leveled up. By the way, I actually really liked Xiang Yu from Yu the Beautiful. He's so honorable. At the end I had tears pouring down my face.

Matobu: That's the first time I've heard about this! (laughs)

Fujii: Xiang Yu suited you personality-wise so well that it was almost too much. And right after that was the revival of EXCITER!!, but even though your style and intensity had increased so much you were still willing to do something like MR. YU...

Matobu: I think I have so much of that side to me that I'd end up wanting to do it anyway (laughs).

Fujii: For some reason I have the notion that you can always hear lots of laughter from the area around Yuu-kun.

Matobu: (laughs). I think its because I have a really proper foundation of being a Takarazuka Otokoyaku that I can put a character like MR. YU on top of that. In the past I found it kind of embarrassing to do fanservice things, though.

Fujii: Actually, for this show, Le Paradis!!, I really struggled over whether or not to put in a MR. YU segment. Although in the end of course I gave it up (laughs).

Matobu: When EXCITER!! was restaged, I was able to discover new things about Flower Troupe and myself, so I feel like because we had that time working together, I was able to have a sense of comfort going into this show. I've felt so much love from all the directors and staff, with their consideration of "Since it's the last time, let's...". Sometimes it makes my heart ache.

Fujii: Right. I have so much love (laughs).

Matobu: (laughs) Also, it's so lovely to watch all the Flower Troupe junior actresses cheerfully enjoying themselves. For this black tux number, all of the otokoyaku are participating down to the ken-1s, and it made everyone really happy.

Fujii: That's right. After all, you wouldn't normally get a chance to be in a black tux number at ken-1.

Matobu: It's actually my first black tux number, at least in a finale, since I became Top Star. I think it's a great opportunity to demonstrate "This is our Flower Troupe!" When they were making the poster for my dinner show, too, I said it would be nice to wear just a simple black tuxedo without any decoration. Like, back to my foundations or something...

Fujii: Right, you said that in the end you wanted to be totally otokoyaku. I have to display the culmination of the otokoyaku Matobu Sei in this dinner show, so that's a lot of pressure for me...

Matobu: (laughs)

Fujii: I knew that no matter what I gave you you'll do it without any concern for yourself, Yuu-kun. Even if you're in difficulties or struggling you won't show it; obviously not on stage, but even during rehearsals you're really cheerful. If I was going to compare you to the sun or moon I think you're like the sun. Since you're someone who gives power to other people, you give the troupe a lot of energy as well. I really respect the way you refuse to show weakness.

Matobu: This is the first time anybody's told me this!  This is such a big thing for me (laughs).

Fujii: Therefore, I think the momentary shadows that you'll sometimes allow to show, as well as your sexiness, are all part of the allure of the otokoyaku 'Matobu Sei'. In this revue, I wanted to let you show off your ultimate manliness as part of your send-off, so I had you doing a gigolo kind of thing. You can do romantic leads and comedy characters, men and women...your breadth is so large, not even as just an otokoyaku but as an actor.

Matobu: I'm so happy to hear you say that about my skills as an actor.

Fujii: You've played so many different types of roles on your way here, haven’t you. In The Rose of Versailles, last year****, your Andre had such a strong core and seemed so well put together. And then when your partner changed in Sabrina, you naturally had such a feeling of generosity about you, and it felt like you'd really grown up into a mature man.

Matobu: It's sort of hard to put into words, but my goal as an actor is not to personally decide on a set style, but be someone where the directors can imagine 'she could do this kind of role, or she could do that kind of role', so it makes me really happy to hear you say that as a director.

Fujii: It seems like it would be an easy thing not to decide on a 'color' and remain 'clear', but it's actually very difficult. I think it's very rare for a Top Star to be like that.

Matobu: When I first became Top, I was over-eager, so I thought 'I've got to be like this now!', but now I've become used to letting everyone in the troupe spoil me and letting them take care of things. I think without that side to me I can't achieve a full-sized performance onstage. An otokoyaku's heft, maybe, or that feeling of big-heartedness, or something...

Fujii: You already had achieved that by the time of the first EXCITER!! I thought you looked like someone who would think things over in detail in a rather cool manner, but you actually went for it full-on, which made me really glad.

Matobu: Thank you. Right now I'm having such fun being an otokoyaku. Since I've been told for so long that I'm really feminine, I want to be the manliest one on stage, to let the audience enjoy the incongruity of it, and also enjoying myself performing as well. There's no point in telling yourself 'I have to be like this' among so many other performers. What's the matter with my being a Top Star and having that 'gap', I thought, and decided I wanted to own that side of myself and stick with it. When I made that decision, things became so much fun I could hardly handle it.

Fujii: I think that's having a wonderful effect on the other Flower Troupe otokoyaku currently. Although they all work together so well, they also have such a sense of individuality, and I can sense how they each display their own strengths in performance, so I think it's because Yuu-kun is such a good leader.

Matobu: No, no...

Fujii: I think you've left the stamp of 'Matobu Sei' on them, and I think that's a wonderful thing both for Takarazuka and for Flower Troupe. It's hard to see someone I had achieved such mutual understanding with retire, but being able to stand together with you at the end is such an honor for me. I don't know what your future path will be, but since you're such a positive person I'm sure you will continue giving energy to people, so I'm not worried about you at all.

Matobu: I don't think I'll change at all even after I quit (laughs). Actually, if I hadn't had that first EXCITER!!, I might not have decided to retire.

Fujii: Huh, I made you decide to retire!? (laughs)

Matobu: (laughs) I felt I wanted to go on until I felt the current Flower Troupe had really been able to display itself, and it had parts where I could really show off, and besides that, when I felt that atmosphere of unity from all of Flower Troupe, I thought 'this is the moment one of my dreams came true'. Also, I could feel so much of the audience's feelings, and I felt so happy since I thought 'We're really sharing something amazing'. That was the moment I made that decision in my heart. The revival was hard since it is always a challenge to do the same thing again, but I was able to feel everything even more deeply, and recieving so much love made me so happy, so I was really happy to be able to do this last show together with Director Fujii. Director, I'm so glad I met you! Thank you so much.

Fujii: I should be saying the same thing to you. Come back and see Takarazuka sometime.

Matobu: Of course I will! Please invite me out to eat! I hope we can continue to have a good relationship!!

* It’s unclear if Matobu is referring to a private scrapbook or if she means the officially published compilation book of Takarazuka content put out for her retirement.

** A comedic ‘alter ego’ who appears in some of Matobu’s performances.

*** From Sakurano Ayane to Ranno Hana.

**** The Rose of Versailles: Andre Side Story, from 2009 (more like 18 months prior)

[birdlord]

Every Book I Read in 2018

Again, better late than never??

01 On the Town; Marshall Berman - A freewheeling personal and general history of Times Square, which had some great historical tidbits I’d never read before. I think I would have got more out of it if I were interested in Broadway musicals...

02 Stephen Florida; Gabe Habash - A slim little book that follows a college wrestler. One of those books that is described as muscular, when what they mean is brutal. 

03 Green Grass, Running Water; Thomas King - Four plot lines intertwine in a story blending mythology, creation, and modern First Nations people dealing with massive transformational change to their lands. I did sometimes feel like I would have enjoyed it more as an audio storytelling experience. 

04 People who Eat Darkness: The Fate of Lucie Blackman; Richard Lloyd Parry - I don’t often read books like this, but this is essentially a true-crime sort of story, about the murder of a British woman who works as a bar hostess in Japan. Parry covers not just her story, but the whole aftermath, which even pulls in Tony Blair, eventually. 

05 My Brother’s Husband; Gengoroh Tagame - Weirdly, two Japan-related books in a row! Another culture-clash tale, when the Canadian husband visits his deceased husband Ryoji’s single-parent brother. The couple had never been to Japan while Ryoji was alive, and so the story of slow acceptance (helped along by little Kana’s openhearted curiosity) is suffused with sadness. 

06 Ghosts of the Tsunami: Life & Death in Japan’s Disaster Zone; Richard Lloyd Parry - And, let’s make it three! When the earthquake and tsunami hit Japan in 2011, I remember thinking that the reaction seemed so orderly, so...Japanese. But this examination puts you right in the various affected communities, following different people, including schoolchildren from Okawa primary. Like with the other Parry book above, we hear about all of the grief, ghosts and lawsuits that follow the disaster. 

07 Mademoiselle: Coco Chanel and the Pulse of History; Rhonda K. Garelick - Once she became famous, Coco Chanel built a scaffolding of lies about her past, and the purpose of this biography is to attempt to see the truth behind them. Garelick concentrates heavily on Chanel’s collaboration with the Nazis, which must have been a challenge given that her company still exists, under her name.

08 Kubrick; Michael Herr - “They speak about the dumbing of America as a foregone thing, already completed, but, duh, it’s a process, and we haven’t seen anything yet. The contemplation of this culture isn’t for sissies, and speaking about it without becoming shrill is increasingly difficult, maybe impossible.” Whoa!

09 Call Me by Your Name; Andre Aciman - I did read this after seeing the film, so as usual it was hard to divorce it from the movie experience. 

10 The Left Hand of Darkness; Ursula K LeGuin - A thought experiment about a genderless world, seen from the perspective of an off-planet envoy, who has a range of reactions to the world’s inhabitants. The most enduring section of the book involves a brutal 3-month expedition undertaken by the exiled envoy and a local, a trial by ice, wind and snow. A winter read. 

11 Stamped from the Beginning; Ibram X. Kendi - I don’t think I’d really fully grokked the idea that southern white supremacy built itself in order to prevent an uprising of the black and white underclasses, together. The basic rubric of this book is separating American movements, parties and individuals’ thinking into one of three categories: assimilationist, segregationist or genuinely antiracist. Supporting results like abolitionism does NOT make one antiracist, since support could come those with less pure motivations. I highly recommend this one, though it was copy-edited in a pretty haphazard manner!

12 Witches, Midwives and Nurses: A History of Women Healers; Barbara Ehrenreich & Dierdre English - A short book charting a couple of parallel stories, of women healers in Europe being dismissed as witches, and the masculinization of medicine (particularly midwifery and the medicine of birth) in the USA. 

13 Her Body and Other Parties; Carmen Maria Machado - Short stories skirting the edge of a lot of genres; horror, science fiction, dark comedy. These are women’s stories, that refuse to be dismissed as chick lit. It didn’t connect with me as deeply as it has for some, but I see the appeal. 

14 Look Alive Out There; Sloane Crosley - Largely comedic set of essays by a writer whose earlier work I read, about a decade back. It’s a strange experience, to return to someone who has written memoir that seemed to exemplify that late-2000s era and discover that she - and you - have grown. 

15 Homesick for Another World; Otessa Moshfegh - Moshfegh’s choice of words (not to mention her characters themselves) remain utterly revolting. I often found myself looking up, shaking my head as if to say THIS BOOK. Considerably funnier than Eileen, which was the first of hers that I read. 

16 My Year of Rest & Relaxation; Otessa Moshfegh - After reading this, I found out that Moshfegh basically set out to get her work noticed by populating it with these vile young women. Well, it worked! Your tolerance for unlikeable main characters will be tested by this rich Columbia grad who decides to prescribe herself into a virtual coma within her NY apartment, at the turn of the millennium. And yes, it ends where you think it does. 

17 They Can’t Kill us Until They Kill Us; Hanif Abdurraquabi - This collection of music-related writing is wildly far-ranging, poetic and emotional. For myself, I did find I was more interested in those that were related to bands or musicians I had some experience with myself , which was not always the case. 

18 The Bad Food Bible: How and Why to Eat Sinfully; Aaron Carroll and Nina Teicholtz - If you’re a reader of the food media, most of what’s in here will be familiar to you, debunking fears of meat, GMOs, gluten, MSG. The authors keep their own experience, taste and interests very much in the forefront, which ends up feeling smug and irritating. 

19 The Mere Wife: A Novel; Maria Dahvana Headley - My knowledge of Beowulf is scant at best, but this retelling stood very much on its own two feet, set in a tony suburb and comparing the experience of two very different mothers of two very different sons. 

20 How to Write an Autobiographical Novel: Essays; Alexander Chee - I’m very much On The Record as being against writers writing about writing, but this might just be an exception. 

21 Vancouver Special; Charles Demers - A sort of update on Douglas Coupland’s City of Glass, a book I loved and reread many times. This one has both a more historical bent, and an actual political viewpoint, contrasting with Coupland’s Gen X remoteness.

22 Crudo; Olivia Laing - A rushing frantic little novel, incorporating Trump tweets and Kathy Acker quotes throughout. A difficult read so close to the events described, but I can see this being an amazing window into this weird time, once a few years have passed. 

23 Hits & Misses; Simon Rich - This might also be on the line of “writers writing about writing” but Rich manages to do so in a charmingly self-deprecating way. 

24 2020 Commission Report on the North Korean Nuclear Attacks Against the US; Jeffrey Lewis - Speculative fiction written as a government report, responding, as we all have been doing, to the endlessly unprecedented Trump presidency. It all started with a tweet, of course...

25 A Paradise Built in Hell: The Extraordinary Communities that Arise in Disaster; Rebecca Solnit - This book is intended to counter the idea that disasters (“natural” and otherwise) lead people to indulge their worst sides. Solnit looks at the aftermath of some 20th C disasters like the Halifax Explosion, 9/11 and various earthquakes to find examples of people banding together to help the wounded and homeless, even taking the opportunity to create new institutions when authorities fail to do so. A tonic for a world in which disasters are likely to become increasingly common. 

26 How Fascism Works: The Politics of Us and Them; Jason Stanley - When I lived in Scotland in 2010, I went to an anti-fascist rally in Edinburgh, and I remember feeling like those attitudes were closer to the surface over there, where at home in Canada they felt abstract. This book traces how fascist policies lurk within democratic frameworks, and can sometimes metastasize to take over the host. Suffice it to say I was probably wrong then, and I’m definitely wrong now.

[avelera]

Quick thoughts on Spider-Man: Far From Home:

CUT FOR SPOILERS

- 90% amazing. Had a great time at all the Teen Summer Vacation Comedy moments, it was a great genre blend for a Spider-Man film. So many great references and call-backs. I laughed a lot. 

- The 10% is... hard to express without sounding like someone who is just disappointed their theories got busted, which could (in the movie’s defense) very well be the case. 

- Let’s just start by quickly saying there was a similar sense of disorganization around the broader progression of the MCU via “Mysterio” that I felt in Captain Marvel, where now that the cinematic universe has gotten so big and could go in so many directions and have such heavy expectations placed upon each of them, sometimes it leads to jumbled motivations and story beats for the film. 

(Like in Captain Marvel it felt like the film was trying to pull double duty telling a story in space and a story about Carol and even triple duty with a story that advanced the MCU. In this case it felt like we needed to mourn Iron Man, advance Spider-Man, introduce the next possible wave of villains (which turned out to be a fake-out with the multi-verse, which left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth but I’ll get to that later), etc etc. So many possibilities of what it could be and what is going to be teased that some scenes seem set up for Misdirecting Trailer Moments in a very distracting way.)

- To that point, one minor critique I have of Mysterio is he felt a bit split on how much he liked Peter Parker. I think, personally, when they found out how much chemistry Holland and Gyllenhaal had, they should have leaned into it more and done some re-writes (or more re-writes than they did). Obviously Gyllenhaal adored chewing the scenery during the Villain Reveal of Exposition in the middle, but it was at the cost of some of the later emotional beats between him and Peter because he came across as so cartoonishly villainous, in contrast to his earlier hero persona. As such, it was hard to get a finger on just how much he really regretted the prospect of killing Peter. 

- Basically, it felt as if the script��just planned Gyllenhaal’s character to be a Delightful Asshole, total evil dude who wants to be a bad guy to fill Iron Man’s shoes, very much in line with the Civil War ultimate “bad guy” of a person who is just obsessed with a hero and thus trying to bring him down or take his place, and as such had many of his flaws too.

- But because Gyllenaal seems genuinely distraught at the prospect of having to kill Peter, I feel they should have just gone with that sentiment a little more strongly? Maybe instead of him just seeming to crave becoming the next Iron Man for... idk, glory reasons? It’s not really made clear except that “being Iron Man” would be desirable and makes him Peter Parker’s foil with a similar goal gone about the wrong way? IDK, anyway, I think they could have given us a beat of him genuinely believing he could help people better than these, admittedly, rather damaged and/or immature heroes! 

- Like, it’s not unreasonable to look at Tony Stark (given his issues) or hear Peter given his immaturity (I mean, it’s unkind to say, but Mysterio basically saw him do nothing but whine about how he just wants to go on a date with this girl) and think, “Holy shit, I can do better than this! The world is at stake!” Especially if you’ve got your own team of smart people to help you that you trust. 

- Basically, his big cackling Villain Reveal scene was great! He had some legit, if unkind, critiques about the MCU heroes that leant weight to the moment and believability to his motivation! He seemed to genuinely like his team! Their plan was unorthodox but made a certain twisted sense!

- The scene after that, in the theater? Wasn’t so great. In that scene when he threatens his own team and his motivations go from wanting to “Be Iron Man”  to... what? Glory? Presumably they’ll make a lot of money, though how isn’t really clear and it’s sort of quickly dropped as a motivator. Given money was mentioned as a motivator, I’m a little surprised his team didn’t revolt when he started getting creepy about the whole thing. Also, helping people as a potential motivator kinda went away when he stopped caring about casualties.

- Anyway, that scene also kinda ruined a lot for me because it became a bit... masturbatory on Marvel’s part? A little too, “Look, we’re making a Marvel film about making a Marvel film because we’re such a big cultural touchstone now, aren’t we clever?” with how Mysterio’s suit is literally exactly what Marvel actors who do CGI wear behind the scenes? I loved the callback with the Iron Man 1 engineer being there, but overall that whole scene just took the magic out and reminded me this was a Marvel movie, because the movie itself wanted to remind me this was a Marvel (tm) movie. 

- As they say in Inception, it’s dangerous to remind the dreamer that they’re in a dream while they’re in the dream. Sometimes it can be pulled off, but normally it just takes them out of the dream entirely. Such is the rule with 4th wall breaks, no matter how clever. 

- Which gets me into my Big Issue with the film which maaay just be Disappointed Fan and less Artistic Critique. 

- I wanted multi-verse. Failing multi-verse, I would have accepted magic over technology as an explanation for Mysterio’s power, which is rare for me because I usually prefer the tech explanation.  But there was a moment when Peter is on the run from Beck’s illusions where it just wasn’t working for me, why? Because it was all drones. 

- This is a universe with Dr. Strange in it, there’s no actual reason Mysterio’s power couldn’t be magic instead of tech. 

- THAT SAID, the use of the projector tech we last saw in Civil War and the critique of Tony’s use of it, was an excellent callback and meshed nicely with the larger message of the film which is, “what to do now that Tony’s gone?” Which is the question the Marvel universe creators are facing right now (and again, struck me as a bit masturbatory like, we know you’re struggling with this question but it takes me out of the film a bit when you make a film about not knowing what to do next with the MCU?)

- THAT SAID, having them be drones instead of illusions made me feel during the fight scenes like I was watching a highlight reel of moments that would be “really cool in the trailer!” because they’d misdirect what was really happening, making the audience think it was magic instead of tech in order to conceal the Big Reveal. 

- Furthermore, the drone use raised a lot of questions like, uh, “spider senses” aside (which we’re apparently not saying for some reason?), what about sound, smell, touch, heat, taste? Is this drone wired into Peter’s nervous system? Why are they so convincing that he behaves as if he’s in a full sensory illusion (like if the illusions were magic) where we can never truly be sure if he’s awake, when this is all just Industrial Light and Magic technology at best? 

- So yeah I get it, magic is so passé, drones are cooler I guess, even if how they work so effectively with just projectors and guns makes zero sense. Mysterio is calling the plot of a Marvel movie with elemental creatures attacking dumb, thus reminding me I’m here watching a dumb Marvel movie, which by extension feels like calling the audience dumb for being here. 

- I dunno, am I crazy for wanting there to be a bit of magic? Or failing that, a bit of heart instead of a guy just villainously trying to get the perks of being a superhero by manufacturing the whole situation, never once asking if there’s good he could be doing or having deep second thoughts about the cost given a kid he genuinely likes will die if he continues with this plan? 

- Many of the scenes even looked as if they were directed and shot to be magic instead of tech, that leads further to the schizophrenic “made for the trailer” feeling of a lot of scenes, as if they were designed to be taken out of context. 

- I mean, it really was just the Iron Man 3 reveal all over again - there is no Mandarin, it’s just an actor with a guy behind him trying to become the next Iron Man. Except we’ve already had that reveal so this one felt repetitive. A more surprising reveal might have been, I dunno, Mysterio is a normal person who really does want to be Iron Man for altruistic reasons and just goes wrong along the way so he can have an honest emotional connection with Peter? Or actually from another universe but in fact a villain there and lying about it in order to become a hero in our universe? (Which was my first theory when I saw the trailer. Part of me actually wondered if Mysterio was Peter Parker from an alternate universe). 

Overall, I had fun. I think I’ll even like it more on the re-watch because my brain won’t be in overdrive trying to figure out the plot and thus be disappointed. But there was definitely a moment where they’re smirking about how stupid people are for being willing to believe a made up story about magic where I thought, “Would that really have been so bad?” 

[randomlynormalgirl]

Joker Movie Thoughts

this is a bunch of jumbled, unstructured thoughts about the joker movie because I can’t stop thinking about it and I needed to write at least some of my thoughts down. might add to it every now and then. hope you enjoy it anyway if you end up reading it :)

MASSIVE SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!!!!!!

watching the ‘joker’ movie felt like a very visceral experience for me. the movie manages to hold and intertwine many complicated themes alongside the plot so eloquently that I am not surprised it received an 8 minute standing ovation. I will be personally outraged if Joaquin phoenix does not receive an Oscar for his portrayal of the joker character because he manages to perfectly display the descent into madness as well as the tragedy of the movie. This movie manages to make you want to sympathise with Joker because the course of events leading up to him becoming the joker is very tragic and given the right circumstances would turn any sane man mad, yet you know you shouldn’t empathise with him because you understand he is mentally ill and that he sees violence as the only way to exact his revenge. Every scene in the movie is a trailer moment yet I didn’t feel like the movie was spoiled for me in any way.

Another aspect of the movie I liked is that Joaquin Phoenix manages to use his acting skill so well that he can subtly show how the joker’s descent into madness builds to a crescendo so spectacularly. How the first dance he does after his first kills is slow and controlled compared to that when he is fully embracing his madness and dancing on the steps so freely, because in his madness he is set free. It reminds me of Midsommar in that way slightly. Also, Joaquin’s body during the movie was also a strange sight and the dedication he put into the role to make himself look that skinny and ill simply astounded me. also, knowing that Joaquin improvised the dancing in the bathroom after Arthur's first three murders makes the scene all the more eerie to me. i hope he looked after himself after he finished filming for the movie because i dread another heath ledger situation, i don't think my heart could take it

I also appreciated that despite the amount of violence in the movie, a lot of the deaths are actually not shown. I think it’s a sign of good acting and good directing when the audience can guess what’s happened behind the scenes just from a few context clues (such as the end of the movie when he leaves the therapists office trailing bloody footprints)

I saw someone on twitter say that the joker movie is just Marxism in practise and honestly I can't fault their logic. The working class leading a violent revolution against the top 1% because they want better than the shitty lower hand they have been dealt, the fact that the newspapers in the film literally call it the 'kill the rich' revolution, the fact that Thomas Wayne literally calls them all clowns and it only ends up spurring on the revolt further. i mean, i can definitely see it.

The story is heartbreaking because it is believable. Watching as a mentally ill man is pushed to the extreme due to funding cuts for his therapy which ultimately stopped him getting the medication he needed to stay sane, poverty, an abusive childhood, a mentally ill mother whilst also living in a classist society where the working class are oppressed by people like Thomas Wayne. A good example of this to me is his first trio of murders; he only killed them because the three Wall Street type guys were going to beat him to death had he not pulled out the gun to kill them, yet it is certain that if Arthur had been killed by those men no one would care because he was not someone worth reporting on in the eyes on the media. In short, anyone below middle class in Gotham were considered nobody and they had enough. Arthur merely sparked the rebellion.

I enjoyed how the joker didn’t plan to become a political figure in the movie. He unintentionally becomes a martyr to the people of Gotham and how that tied in with the origins of batman was a very cool moment for me as part of the audience.

To add to this, the ending of the movie being dubious was an interested touch. Throughout the movie we learn that we cannot always trust Arthur’s perspective. From his fantasy of being on his idol’s TV show, down to his delusion of the romance between him and Sophie. So, the idea that the end of the movie suggesting it was all in his imagination was interesting to me. I, however, don’t subscribe to such a theory because I think the final flash of Bruce with his dead parents was the director giving us that subtle hint that this time the joker wasn’t just dreaming of being successful and loved by many, it was real this time. A slightly less important note but the aesthetic of the whole movie was just very grainy and gritty and fit the film? like the old school format, the cinematography and the fucking SOUNDTRACK. 'that's life' by Frank Sinatra is one if my favourite songs and the fact is features so heavily in this movie was a really cool moment for me? i also really liked the whole riot scene; it just felt really raw and gritty and like a true climax to the joker's story as he finally becomes the persona fully and finds his new identity as the figurehead for this revolution in Gotham

Of course, I cannot talk about this film without mentioning my beloved heath ledger and his depiction of the joker, and the references and similarities between the two. Let me make one thing clear; phoenix’s and ledger’s joker are nowhere near the same. I remember reading that Joaquin and heath were very good friends, and that Joaquin did not in anyway want to impose on heath’s legacy. He understands how legendary that role was and said while he loves that portrayal he didn’t want to be a cheap imitation. I believe he has fully achieved such a feat but I cannot help but compare. Some ‘Easter eggs’ or possible homages to heath that I recognised were:

-the scene where Arthur is in the back of the police car reminded me very much of that scene in the dark knight where joker steals the cop car (ledger / phoenix). I realise that is is also supposed to parallel the scene earlier where he is sat all sad on the bus compared to how happy he looks in the police car but i didn't quite get it straight away.

-Arthur using his own blood to paint the smile on his face (x) after the car crash reminded me of the ledger makeup look

-Arthur saying to Sophie that he ‘had a bad day’ reminded me instantly of when heath ledger’s joker said something along the lines of ‘everyone is just one bad day away from being like me’

none-Ledger related Easter eggs I noticed too were:

-the protesters laying Arthur across the hood of the crashed cop car Jesus-style to signify that he's saintly to them was a nice touch -Bruce coming down the fireman’s pole was reminiscent of the Adam west batman series where they had to come down the fireman’s pole

-the joker being attached to the death of Bruce Wayne’s parents (although less directly in this depiction)

-the font of the late night talk show is the same as batman the animated series

-I’ve seen some people say that the backdrop of the talk show is the same during the titles of the animated series too

-joker killing the host was reminiscent of the dark knight returns where joker kills the audience of a TV talk show

-apparently the look of this joker is similar to that of one of his video game iterations but I can’t find that -the sort of reference to the inspiration behind the entire joker character by having Arthur have a condition where he can't help but laugh in certain situations, when the joker was based on the film 'the man who laughs' where a man is cursed to never stop smiling no matter how much he tries -major inspiration from taxi driver, which also features Robert De Niro so its a cool touch -some kind of reference to the movie 'the king of comedy', a movie centring around a person obsessed with a tv show host which has similar plot points and also features robert de niro again which is pretty cool

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: The Fast And The Furious

Hi Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews, Where I Realize That It's Been A While, I Know I Haven't Done Anything With This Page In A While (Mainly Because Of My Other Tumblr Pages And For Those I Suggest You Check Out Power Rangers/Sentai Reviews (prreviews) Duke Reviews TV (dukereviewstv) Oncer Reviews (oncerreviews) And Arrowverse Reviews (arrowversereviews)) But I Hope To Do More Because As Of Today I Am Back With New Reviews On The Fast And Furious Movies...

I Say The Fast And Furious Movies As I'm Going To Be Going Over All Of Them And Not Just Do 4 Movies And Make A Month Out Of It, That Made Me Feel Compressed For Time And I Really Don't Want To Feel Like That When Doing This, I'm Gonna Do This The Way I Want To. So, The Fast And The Furious...

Starring Vin Diesel And The Late Paul Walker This Film...Well, I Would Talk About The Plot But That Would Spoil Some Twists That Happens In The Movie So, No Plot For This Episode...

But Instead Let's Get Right To The Fast And The Furious...

The Film Starts As Some People With Helmets And Fast Cars Hijack A Truck Full Of Electronic Goods...

The Next Morning, We Meet Brian Spillner (Played By The Late Paul Walker) Who Stops By Toretto's Market And Cafe Where Mia (Played By Dallas' Jordana Brewster) Works With Her Brother, Dom (Played By Vin Diesel) But When Dom's Crew (Which Includes Dom's Longtime Girlfriend, Letty (Played By Lost's Michelle Rodriguez) Vince (Played By Matt Shultze) Who Is Sort Of The Muscle, Jesse (Played By Chad Lindberg) Who's The Brains And Leon (Played By Johnny Strong) Who's Just There, He's Not The Brains Or The Muscle, He's Just There) Arrives On The Scene, Vince Gets Into A Fight With Brian (When He Doesn't Like Brian Flirting With Mia) Which Forces Dom To Get Involved...

What Kind Of Fight Song Is That?

That's Got To Be The Worst Song I've Ever Heard In A Fight Scene...

Telling Brian To Never Come Back Here, Brian Says That That's Bull But Knowing That Brian Works An Autoshop With A Friend Of His Named Harry, Dom Tells Brian That He's Fired. Going Down To Harry's, He's Mad At Brian, Saying That He's Messing Around With His Buisness...

He's Good, Man! Really Good...

Telling Harry, He Needs Nos...

Nos? What's Nos?

Researching This I Discovered That Nos Is Another Word For Nitrous Oxide Otherwise Known As Laughing Gas...

However, It Is Used In This And Other Motor Sports As A Rocket Propellant...

However, Harry Knows That Brian Is A Amateur And Isn't Ready For Nos Just Yet But Needing It Now Brian Tells Harry To Place 2 Containers In His Vehicle. That Night, Brian Goes To A Street Race That He Knows That Dom And His Crew Will Be At There He Meets Edwin (Played By Rapper Ja Rule) And Hector (Played By That One Guy Who's Known For Playing Mexican Gangsters In Movies) I'm Serious That's All He's Known For, But I Guess It's Better Than Saying The Guy That Got A Monkey Out Of His Ass In Bruce Almighty...

(Start Video At 1:06)

When Dom Arrives, Everyone Places Their Cash In Except For Brian Who Places The Pink Slip To His Car, Stating That If He Wins He Takes The Cash And The Respect...

Looking At His Car, Dom Accepts His Terms As They All Drive To Where The Race Is At.

With All The Racers At The Starting Line, The Race Begins!..

Activating The First Nos Canister, Brian Passes Edwin And Another Racer But When He Activates The Second Canister, He Loses The Bottom Of The Back Of His Car As He Passes Dom, But Dom Gets The Better Of Brian By Activating His Nos Canister...

But As Brian Finally Makes It To The Finish Line, The Police Start Showing Up Which Causes Everyone To Get The Hell Outta There, Ditching His Car, Dom Is Nearly Arrested By Police, However He Is Saved By Brian Who Says He Only Saved Him In An Effort To Keep His Car...

Losing The Police, Dom Tells Brian He Had Jesse Do Research On Him Discovering That Brian Did 2 Years In Juvie For Boosting Cars...

But They're Soon Followed By A Rival Gang On Motorbikes With Machine Guns That Is Led ByJohnny Tran (Played By Rick Yune) And His Cousin, Lance (Played By Grimm's Reggie Lee)

Saying That They Just Got Lost, Tran Lets Dom Go However...

They Place Bullets In Brian's Car, Setting The Nos On Fire And Causing The Car To Blow Up...

With A Long Walk Home, Dom Explains His History With Tran To Brian, As It Turns Out That It Was A Buisness Deal That Went Sour, Plus He Slept With Tran's Sister

Arriving At Dom's House, Dom Tells Brian To Come In For A Drink Before He Gets Mad At His Crew For Not Going Out And Finding Him...

With Dom Going Upstairs With Letty To Give Her A Massage Which Is Code For...

Saving Brian From Another Fight With Vince, Mia Talks With Brian In The Kitchen...

The Next Day, Brian Is Arrested By Police And Is Taken Back To A Safehouse Where It's Revealed That Everything We Know About Brian Is A Lie!

Turns Out His Real Name Is Brian O'Connor And He Is An LAPD Officer Who Is Involved In A Joint Mission Between The LAPD And The FBI To Find Out Who The Gang That Has Been Stealing Electronic Goods Is And To Arrest Them

The Officer That Arrested Him Is Sergeant Tanner (Played By Ted Levine Who Played The...

Guy In Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom) And Is The LAPD Officer In Charge Of The Mission And The Black Guy Is The FBI Agent Bilkins (Played By Thom Barry) Who I Suggest You Get Used To Seeing As He's In The Next Movie As Well...

They Go Over A Bit Of Exposition Stating That People That Are Good With Precision Driving With Three Honda Civics With Green Neon Glow Beneath The Chassis And Have Mashimoto Z-X Tires Have Done 4 Truck Hijackings In 2 Months And If They Don't Have Something Soon They'll Have A Revolt Of Truckers On Their Hands...

But Despite Knowing That The Street Racing World Revolves Around Dom, Brian Doesn't Think That He's The One Behind These Attacks But He May Know Who Does All He Needs Is Time...

But Bilkins Says That Brian Doesn't Have Time...

Before Brian Leaves, Tanner Warns Brian To Be Careful Around Dom As He Nearly Beat A Guy To Death...

Getting Another Car From Tanner..,

And A Shitty One At That...

He Gives It To Dom Saying It's His Car...

Telling Jesse To Pop The Hood, Shows Dom To Not Judge A Book By It's Cover...

Dom Tells Brian That When He's Not Working At Harry's, He's Working At His Garage...

We Get A Brief Montage Of Dom And The Crew Buying Stuff From Harry's For The Car, While Jesse Shows Brian What The Car Will Look Like When The Car Is Finished...

Going To A Barbecue At Dom's House, Vince Takes Off The Minute He Sees Brian But Let's Not Put A Damper On This Scene As Everyone Sits Down To Eat We See One Of Dom's Traditions Which Is Whenever Somebody Grabs Food First That Somebody Has To Say Grace...

Just They Eat, Vince Arrives Mainly Because He's Hungry And Not Because He's Dropped His Beef With Brian...

Helping Mia With The Kitchen, Brian Asks Mia Out But Despite Her Saying She Doesn't Go Out With Her Brother's Friends She Does This When Vince Bosses Around Brian Again...

The Next Day, Hector Visits Harry's Shop For Equipment For 3 Honda Civics...

This Is Starting To Get Suspicious...

That Night, Brian Sneaks To Hector's Hangout Over Near The El Gato But Unfortunately The Cars Don't Match The Description. Getting Out, He Is Caught By Vince Who Takes Him To Dom Who Demands An Explanation Which Is Where Brian Tells Him That He Was Only In Hector's Garage To Analyze The Competition For The Upcoming Race Wars...

Despite Vince Believing He's A Cop, Dom Takes Both Brian And Vince To Johnny Tran's Where Dom And Vince Look At Tran's Car To See That It Has No Engine But Brian Is More Interested In All The Electronics That Tran Has...

But They Get A Call From Jesse Who Says That Tran And His Gang Are On Their Way Back A Fence Named Ted Who Was Supposed To Get Them An Engine For Their Car But He Didn't So They Decide To Torture Him...

Telling Tanner And Billkins What He Saw, Billkins Wants To Move On Tran Believing That They Have Enough But Brian Wants Hard Evidence Before They Do...

He Also Mentions That Hector's A Dead End And Dom Is Too Controlled For This, Vince Maybe But Not Dom, This Leads Tanner To Show Brian A Picture Of The Guy Dom Beat Up Years Ago...

That Afternoon, Brian Works At The Garage With Dom As He Tells Him That Tonight Is His Date With Mia...

Wow, Not One For Subtlety, Are You Dom?

Taking Brian To His Garage At His House, Dom Shows Brian A 1970 Dodge Charger That He Worked On With His Father When He Was A Kid, It's Here We Learn That Dominic's Father (Who Was A Pro Stock Racer) Was Killed By A Fellow Racer Named Kenny Linder Who Knocked Into A Wall (Which Set His Car On Fire) And That The Man That Dom Attacked Was Linder Which Leads To The Best Line Of The Entire Movie...

Taking Mia Out, She Tells Brian The Story How How Dom And The Gang Met, Saying That Vince Knew Dom Since They Were Kids And Letty Was Basically The Girl Next Door Who Was Interested In Car But Could Never Get Dom's Attention But Then She Turned 16...

So, Their Relationship Is Basically Like Phineas And Isabella's...

And Jesse And Leon Just Showed Up One Night And Never Ever Left. Mia Then Compares Her Brother To Gravity Stating That Everyone Who Comes Around Him Gets Pulled In, But Brian Tells Mia That The Only Thing That Pulled Him In Was Her...

Meanwhile, Another Heist Goes Down Which Makes Bilkins Decide To Move On Tran In 1700 Hours, And They Let Brian Know About This As He's Screwing Mia...

Bad Timing, Guys...

The Arrest Of Tran And His Boys Looks Similar To The Baptism Scene In The Godfather To The Point That All That's Missing Is The Murders And It Could Use A Guy With A Horse Head On His Bed...

And If You Thought Brian Having Sex With Mia Was Hot During The Raid We Get Scenes Of Dom Having Sex With Letty, She Was Hot In Girlfight So Why Not?

However, Tran And His Boys Are Innocent, Turns Out The Electronics Are Legal And All They Got On Them Is Low Rent Weapons Charges And Outstanding Speeding Tickets, Bilkins Tells Brian To Bring Toretto In In 36 Hours Or He Can Get A New Job.

Knowing That Brian Can't Look Past Dom Because Of Mia, Brian Tells Tanner That Knows Dom Won't Go Back To Jail Easy...

With The Car Ready And Raring To Go, Dom And Brian To A Test Run Down To The Coast Where They Stop By This Restaurant Called Neptune's Her Where Brian Tells Dom That He Knows He's Doing Something On The Side To Pay For Everything And He Wants In, Dom Tells Brian To Win Race Wars Then They'll Talk...

And What Can I Say About Race Wars? It's A Mix Of Woodstock And Coachella Except No Music Just Racing...

With Letty Racing First, She Beats The Hell Out Of This Ass That Tried To Hit On Her...

You Just Got Owned, Pal...

Meeting With Brian, Jesse Tells Him That He's Up Next In A Pink Slip Race, That Is The Good News, The Bad News Is That He's Driving His Jailbird Dad's Jetta And That His Competitor Is Johnny Tran....

Can't Wait To See How This Goes Down...

Yep, Jesse Loses But He's Like No Way In Hell I'm Giving Up My Dad's Car And Drives Off Til He's Out Of Fuel...

I Have A Feeling We Won't Be Seeing Him For A While...

Telling Dom To Get Jesse's Car For Him, Dom Tells Tran To Watch Who He's Talking To Which Is When Tran Tells Him That S.W.A.T Raided His House...

Shermar Moore Was At Your House, Boy, I Wish I Was There...

Thinking That Dom Was Behind It, Dom Gets Into A Fight With Tran...

That Night, Brian Watches Dom And The Others Take Off To Go On Another Heist Which Leads Brian To Confront Mia On It Forcing Him To Tell Her That He's A Cop..

(Start At 3:41 And End At 3:44)

Despite Telling Her That Everything He Felt For Mia Was Real, Brian Tells Her That The Truckers Aren't Laying Down Anymore And That If She Cares About Dom And The Crew She'll Help Him...

Mia Tells Brian Where The Cats Are Stashed But Brian Knows That The Highway Where They Are Is Too Well Patrolled So, He Decides To Do A Cell Phone Trace...

Driving Up To The Cars, Dom's Ready To Go But The Others Don't Feel Right Doing This Without Jesse But Dom Doesn't Want To Give Up On This One Saying That It's The Motherlode That They've Been Waiting For. So, Getting In The Cars They Ride Off...

But As They Go To Pull Their Heist, The Driver Tries To Shoot Vince With A Shotgun Vince Tries To Untether But He's Just Stuck...

Eventually Though Vince Gets Tossed To The Side Where His Arm Gets Stuck, Dom And Letty Try To Save Him But Dom Loses A Tire And Letty Gets Sideswiped Off The Road With Dom Telling Leon To Go Check On Her...

Dom's Engine Gets Hit Causing Him To Pull Off The Road But Luckily Brian Arrives With Mia To Save Vince...

With Dom Arriving, Letty And Leon Drive Out Of This Movie And With Only Letty And Vince Returning For Sequels We Say Goodbye To Leon. We Hardly Knew Ye...

With Vince Bleeding Out, Brian Calls The Police To Bring An Ambulance While Also Blowing His Cover. Returning To Dom's House, Brian Confronts Dom Saying There's Nowhere To Run But Dom Tells Him That He's Not Running Because He Has To Find Jesse Before Tran Does But Luckily Jesse Finds Them...

With Tran And Lance Closing In, Dom, Brian And Mia Take Cover While Tran Kills Jesse...

With Both Dom And Brian Going After Tran, Tran And Brian Both Shoot At Each Other As Lance Goes Behind Brian To Shoot Him But Dom Stops Lance From Doing So By Causing Him To Jump Into A Field...

It All Eventually Ends When Tran Is Shot By Brian Killing Him Instantly. With Tran Dead, Brian Sets His Sights On Dom Who He Follows To A Railroad Track Where Dom Tells Him That He Used To Drag Race Here In High School And That On Green He's Going So, The 2 Decide To Race Each Other One Last Time Or Until Fast And Furious But That's A Different Story...

Jumping At The Track As The Train Is About To Cross, Dom's Charger Gets Hit By An Oncoming Truck Causing To Flip Out Of Control...

Surviving, Brian Lets Dom Take His Car Saying That He Owes Him A 10 Second Car And So Dom Rides Off To Fight Another Day...

And That's The Fast And The Furious And It's A Good Film....

The Cast And Story Are Great, The Stunts Are Fantastic, The Car Designs Are Amazing I Just Love This Series. A lot Of People Around My Mom's Age Say That These Films Are Just Violence , Sex Basically Stuff You Would Find In A Grand Theft Auto Game And While It Does Have Some Violence And A Few Sexy Scenes It's Not Just That Throughout The Entire Movie It's Much More Than That, So, I Say See It And Give It A Chance...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[my-bread]

I used to be an Onision fan. Here’s what happened.

I’m going to go ahead and say that this is a longer post, so I know most people won’t read all of it, so here’s the short and sweet: I used to love onision videos. Now I don’t. Somewhere in there I get stabbed and come out as queer. I give some bad advice and say goodbye. Story over.

For those willing to read the entire thing, find a good place to sit, this is a long one.

I got introduced to Onision by a friend of mine. We had just got done shooting guns in his backyard and wanted to watch some YouTube videos, and he asked me if I had ever seen the “I’m a banana” song. We watched it as well as some other stupid videos. At the time we both loved comedy sketch and controversial humor so Onision was like a gold mine to us.

This was about the time where I started to make my own opinions about things in life. I started to take stances on certain subjects, I started trying to figure out who I was, I wanted to stop shooting guns, color my hair, become vegetarian, get some piercings, and eventually, wanted to come out as queer. I lived in a small conservative town so YouTube was how I learned about everything, got exposed to everything, and I definitely became obsessed.

I loved so many big name YouTubers practically religiously, and Onision was one of them. But the world of YouTube was changing, and shock humor sketch comedy was no longer on the forefront of the website. But unlike the other YouTubers who were trying to change with the times, Onision continued with his videos practically unfaltered. Practically cornering the market of self produced sketch comedy and parody. That was what made me continue watching was the fact that he was still self produced, unlike a lot of other creators who had large scale productions, management, employees, contracts, he presented as an original content creator.

I started coming out as queer to my close friends, with some understanding and others not. I had some very dark nights where the only thing that kept me from doing something stupid was parody videos. Onision (UhOhBro especially) had helped me a lot. And at the time I didn’t really know there was a controversy, I was just a anxious/depressed kid who had a bad sense in jokes. To me at the time Onision seemed like a good guy. While yes, his humor was dark, offensive, and probably wrong on so many levels, he seemed to have good morals and I shared his same views (at least the ones he had when I was that age) I saw Onision as someone who had been in the military but was for gun control, someone who believed in women’s rights, someone who believed in gay rights, a vegetarian, and someone who was against child abuse and mutilation. Views that were not found around where I lived.

It was around this time where I had lost a very valuable friendship in a really ironic way. The same friend from earlier (the one who intoduced me to Onision) and I were just finishing up going through his knife collection when he made some sort of side comment about how it would be hilarious if Onision made a video with a certain other YouTuber. (I’m leaving their name out to be polite because this is supposed to be about my time as an Onision fan, but from what happens next, anyone with basic understanding of Onision drama will know exactly who it is.) I lost it laughing, because the insane fangirl I was knew that they had kissed before and had a falling out. This is also when I rushed to get out my phone and show him the video. Him being extremely homophobic was disgusted by the video and instantly became revolted by Onision. Being the queer kid that I am (I was not out to him) tried to get him to understand (especially since we were so close) but the argument just got more heated, I was trying to defend gay rights, he was trying to convince me that it was wrong beyond sin, and after lots of yelling it ended with a decent sized cut on my arm from the knife he was holding in his hand. (He didn’t stab me on purpose FYI. It was a total accident) I was on the ground crying, mainly because I didn’t want to get stitches, and he was wrapping up my arm, cleaning up all the blood, telling me that as long as wore long sleeves for a little bit, my parents wouldn’t even have to know. Now this is where you would expect us to have a romantic moment, our eyes meet, and he would kiss me, we would fall in love, but no. That’s not what happened. I just simply looked had him, still crying as we sat on the floor, arm all wrapped up in gause, clothes covered in blood, that I was queer. I was still crying, and he helped me get to my feet. He stayed silent, getting me a clean shirt to walk home in, from his closet. After I changed, he was giving me a hug, telling me he was sorry, that he would pray for me, that I was still one of his best friends, that it didn’t change anything that I was queer. But it definitely did, because after I left his house that night, we haven’t talked since. I cried all night that night and the only thing that gave me any kind of happiness was Onision videos. The same videos that had also made my hyper conservative, super pro gun, sexist, homophobic, ultra religious, believer in ‘children are property’ friend happy. Looking back I can tell that Onisions values were not the most structurally sound, but hindsight is 20/20.

I stayed a fan for quite some time, never getting too involved, but occasionally getting smack from my friends for watching his videos because of his controversies that were happening at the time. Then, the adpocolypse had begun on YouTube.

Lots of creators were effected by this, not going to lie, but no one handled it quite like Onision. Like that last huge algorithm change, Onision stayed mostly the same. Still making stereotypical sketch comedy. But because of his language and content choices, could get barely any ads on any of the videos across any of his channels. So the patreon ads began, and I honestly don’t mind when creators promote their patreons. Their are plenty of people that I watch still that premote it, but it’s just how Onisiony he promoted it.

Onision has always been very vocal about his opinions, and if he’s upset about something he will make a statement. The same thing happened with patreon. Almost every joke turned to “for patreons only” or “unsensored hentai break on patreon” videos became less and less about what they were supposed to be, and more just an ad for patreon. Which I was not a fan of. I don’t know if it was just I had gotten older, or my comedic tastes have changed, but I was starting to not find his videos funny. They seemed brash, with overdone characters, rushed production, stale acting, over the top themes, and just trying too hard to hold on to the same thing he had been doing for ten years. I was never a fan of the ‘hot or not’ videos, and slowly he just faded out of my recommendation list when I got online. I never had some major realization while I was watching his videos that I didn’t like them, I just slowly stopped watching.

And the truth is, I would still go back and watch his old comedy sketch, or UhOhBro, or shock humor because I still find those videos funny.

But then I started seeing it from the other side. And oh boy with was a shit show. When I was a fan of Onision, I never saw any of the controversy. Literally zero. Especially since I was a fan of his comedy work. You’d see the ‘apology videos’ or the ‘my side of the story’ but as a fan I literally knew nothing that was going on. Everything was phrased in those videos to not seem as serious as they could potentially be, or be just as serious of a situation but make it look neutral, and that no one person was the instigator. But as soon as you step away from the crowd and saw the whole show, it was a lot more complex. As a fan, at least in my experience, everything was seen as under control. That everyone else is overreacting. That were within our bounds, everything is fine, this isn’t really that bad. It’s just YouTube videos, just jokes. Everything was fine. But everything definitely isn’t fine. That’s for damn sure. When I followed his content, I would never come across anyone’s complaints about his content. Now that I don’t follow his content, I probably see a new controversy of his a month.

I completely understand why people who follow him so blindly do, because from their standpoint, he is a poster child. But it doesn’t mean he still hasn’t done wrong things.

Looking back, you can see his content change over the years, but in some ways it still stays the same. It’s all still controversial. It didn’t really matter if it was shock humor or scandals, it was still views, still ad revenue, still his life. And you can see he’s burned out over the years. Just trying to get content out and keep the numbers up any way he can. But always trying to stay true to what he founded his channel on. Shock humor and angst.

As my (very unqualified) advice to Onision. It’s okay to change what kind of content you make. Emo Charlie and Chibi are literally ten years old. Your sketch characters could be in the 5th grade learning long division and growing out of the Disney channel. I know there are new characters but they are still around. That says how much your content has changed. Also, you are the final filter for your content. You ultimately decide what goes on the Internet under your name. You decide how private or public your life is. No one is forcing you to upload personal content. Sometimes someone else might try to paint you in a bad light but so be it. Fight fire with water, I promise you it’s more effective. Finally, think about what you actually stand for. People call you out for a lot of stuff and actually stop and think about if your actually doing it. Don’t just blindly shoot back a response.

Of course I do not expect him to ever take any of that advice, but I’ll just put that out there so maybe someday it might just find it’s way to him.

Thank you Onision for helping me through my adolescence, I do not regret to inform you I will not be watching your videos. My best regards.

[ratemysheppard]

56) Silk Stalkings (Schemes Like Old Times)

Title- Silk Stalkings 3x7 ‘Schemes like old times’

Year- 1993

Character- Eddie Bryce

Synopsis- A rich doctor is found shot in his home, but there is more to it than there seems as the team uncover a web of blackmail and intrigue.

Medium- If you’re in the US, you can watch it here: https://www.amazon.com/TKO/dp/B000OYJ7LU/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1523269408&sr=1-1&keywords=silk+stalkings+season+3

Entirety or episode?- Episode

Overall verdict- Oh, Silk Stalkings, so 90s it’s 80s, swaggering around with the sleeves of its pastel blue suit jacket rolled up like the weird lovechild of CSI and The Room.

I sort of hate this and like it at the same time. It’s not bad by any means, this episode is actually pretty solidly plotted when it finally gets properly going – I genuinely enjoyed the way the twists played out and finding out who was behind everything and seeing the bad guys get played (and the really bad men get their comeuppance). It’s just, it’s by nature kind of skeevy and juvenile, in that teenage boy staying up to watch late-night TV in the hopes he’ll glimpse some sideboob kind of way. The acting is patchy, the scripted dialogue is often dreadful and it’s generally wall-to-wall sexism (that the female characters weirdly seem to dig) and this episode is not really an exception. But that said, yeah – it’s cheesy, daft and funny (not always in the right way) and it does entertain. Also, I do still enjoy comedy sidekick Cotton.

Serious CW for a bit of actually pretty revolting rapist dialogue right at the beginning before the credits.

Screen time- Brief

Accent- English

Mark’s character- This is Mark’s second TV role, as I understand it. Eddie is a con man and ‘psychopath’ recently free of jail where he spent five years for extortion and attempted murder. He’s ‘wiry, with a goatee’ and ‘an aroma of the jailhouse’ (I swear, that dialogue).

I mean, this is a brief role. I was watching from between my fingers because out of all the characters in this, Eddie’s dialogue is absolutely fucking heinous, and the majority of his screentime is really awkward sex scenes that I’m sure loads of people will be into but if I’m being honest I found just about the most un-arousing thing ever. Eddie’s not a nice guy at all and spends most of the bedroom scenes being a coercive, misogynistic, creepy hair-pulling bully. Here is an example of dialogue:

“Prison must really do something to crank up a man’s libido.”

“You bet it does. Five long years, I didn’t think of anything except getting next to something like you.”

“I want you to do it to me the way you imagined it in jail.”

I mean, if you can soldier through such a masterpiece of scripting as this for the chance at a glimpse of dragon tattoo, then I salute you, you’re made of sterner stuff than me.

It’s a shame that the sex scenes are so distracting, because there’s a lot of subtle ace stuff that’s easily missed. Like all the totally golden facial expressions, how Eddie rolls the body over in the first scene just so he can sass it, stuff like that. Even in the worst roles, Mr S is really very good indeed.

Highlight- Gross blackmailing rapist guy: “Take what you want, just don’t hurt me” Eddie: (shoots him) “Did that hurt?” – the five seconds where I briefly liked Eddie and thought he might be an anti-hero.

LOL DEGAS I’m getting Las Vegas flashbacks.

‘I found a pair of panties in Chris’s vegetable crisper’ was a memorable line, pass the brain bleach please.

“Fluorescent lights shrink your gonads” Why are you people so obsessed with sex?!

Eddie’s shirt at 15.19 deserves a series all to itself.

“You gotten spunky whilst I was in the joint” SAID NO ENGLISH PERSON EVER.

Rewatch?- Maybe. It grew on me.

(Thank you heaps to @rayhne for helping me track this down!)

[nikanndros]

I was thinking about the time travel AU, and how Laurent ended up the way he did, and had an awful thought. In a world where the Regent somehow got access to Laurent despite Auguste, did he actively try to poison their relationship? To get Laurent to mistrust Auguste, and see him as a rival the way the Regent saw Aleron? Either because he thought Laurent would be easier to manipulate as a king if he took down Auguste, or because strife in the royal family would help him seize more power. (1/?)

There are so many part’s to this question i’m putting it under a read more 😂😂😂

Or just because he's a gross asshole, and knew that distancing Laurent from people who actually loved him would put him more deeply under his spell. I feel like he’s the sort of manipulative creep who would tell Laurent a bunch of lies about how to read other’s emotions, and make him highly suspicious of perfectly normal behavior so he didn’t feel like he could trust anyone else. (2/?)

And then I was thinking about Josselin’s spinoff and how sad I was to see Damen not realize that Laurent had changed, and then I started thinking about the comedy of errors that would be the fake-dating fic where this au’s Damen and Laurent both end up in the post-cannon world? And Damen is absolutely baffled by this whole thing about slavery, and where the fuck is Jokaste and why does he not have heirs, and also who is this hot blonde asshole in his bed?? (3/?)

Meanwhile Laurent is happy to be king but also very confused about his court and who his allies are, and the fact that *he* apparently killed his uncle? And also this dude he’s apparently married to? But Damen is still Damen and too sweet and trusting for his own good, so the two of them fall in love anyway, and Laurent has to slowly deal with the fact that having a healthy and loving relationship is making him realize that actually what his uncle did was not ok. (4/4)

ANyway TOO MANY feelings!!! Illegal. (5/4)

This took me a long time to reply to bc it is a lot of writing, holy shit. 

Alright.

1) The way I see it, the Regent was less like “Revolt against your brother” and more like, “Auguste doesn’t have time for you, you’re not important to him anymore, I’m the only person who truly loves you” so that Laurent a) wouldn’t tell auguste anything, and; b) be easier to manipulate when he’s older and actually a threat. A lot of the discord between Laurent and Auguste is because Laurent thought he was in love with the Regent, and then Auguste essentially beat him to death in front of 14-y-o Laurent and traumatised him. Also, I don’t think Auguste handled any of the aftermath properly; he didn’t tell the council why he killed his uncle and he didn’t really want to talk to Laurent about it. 

Also, the Auguste of this universe is less a man of words and more a man of physicality in regards to expressing affection, and so he wouldn’t know how to talk to Laurent abt it, but also he suddenly sees familial affection as possibly sinister and doesn’t want Laurent to misinterpret something so he’d be very awkward about touching/hugging Laurent afterwards and Laurent would misinterpret it as Auguste being disgusted with him.

So Laurent took all that internalised shame and grief and projected it outward into hating Auguste. 

I think if I wrote this AU without the ~time travel plot~ then Laurent would eventually succeed in killing Auguste and then slowly realise what he’s down and regret it hahaha and that would be very sad.

2) Hahaha, we had a big discussion in the discord about what Damen and Laurent coming to this world would mean to the old one and what happened to Murder!Laurent and Poly-amorous!Damen and the possibilities are endless. A comedy of errors with them both in the same world pretending to know what’s going on though would be hilarious. They wake up in the same bed together and confused sex ensues. Both of them trying to bluff that they’re originally from here to the other. 

And honestly, all Murder!Laurent really needs is someone to show him what love is and help him work out all his issues.

Anyway, thank you for the very very long asks, they broke my brain a little but I like the way some of ya’ll are engaging so much with the AU 😘😘😘

[paralleljulieverse]

Star!, the 1968 musical biopic of Gertrude Lawrence celebrating its 50th anniversary this year, signalled a substantial shift for the on-screen persona of Julie Andrews. Although the actress had tackled slightly ‘darker’ roles in some of her previous dramatic films –– notably, The Americanization of Emily (1964), Hawaii (1966) and Torn Curtain (1966) –– her star image in this era was primarily defined by the trio of hit screen musicals –– Mary Poppins (1964), The Sound of Music (1965) and Thoroughly Modern Millie (1967). Together these family-friendly blockbusters cemented a popular ‘nice girl’ image humorously described by one commentator of the time as “Miss Sunshine of the Sixties” (Coleman, 118). 

The part of Gertrude Lawrence, by contrast, was no sunny musical ingenue. As depicted in Star!, she is an ambitious arriviste driven to theatrical and social success at all costs. A self-absorbed hedonist, Gertie drinks, swears, and leaves a trail of broken romances and –– perhaps, most subversive vis-à-vis the traditional Julie Andrews screen image –– abandoned children in her wake. Much of the film’s commercial underperformance has been attributed to the difficulty audiences of the time had in accepting Julie Andrews in such a radically atypical role (Kennedy, 154; Silverman, 131). Even the Dame herself subscribes to this theory, musing in retrospect that:

“It was a time of enormous change for me and for movies…And people then were not ready to accept me in an unsympathetic role like Gertrude Lawrence in Star!” (Anderson, 27).

Things weren’t possibly helped much by the film’s pre-release publicity campaign. The second of two films that Julie was contracted to make for Twentieth Century-Fox, Star! was initially announced in late 1964, before her first film, The Sound of Music was even in the can (Scheuer, V-15). By the time Star! was ready for production, The Sound of Music had become the highest grossing film of all time and Fox spared no expense in promoting their new big Julie Andrews musical. The studio assigned not one but two Publicity Directors to handle the film, Howard Newman and Mike Kaplan. Together they helmed what was described as “the biggest publicity barrage in Hollywood history” with countless media releases, photographs, interviews, and PR stories (Edwards). 

From the outset, Fox was quick to promote Star! as a reunion of the “dream team” behind The Sound of Music: star Julie Andrews, director Robert Wise and producer Saul Chaplin (”Movie Call Sheet,” IV-10).  “Julie Andrews…returns to singing and dancing in Star! with the same two movie makers who guided The Sound of Music,” trumpeted a widely syndicated press release to mark the start of shooting in early 1967. “If any picture is likely to match The Sound of Music in public popularity, it will be Star!” (Kaplan, B-10). As a purely attention-grabbing marketing strategy, it made sense to play up The Sound of Music connections, but it arguably served to foster false expectations that Star! was set to be another upbeat family musical. 

During the film’s long 18 month production, media articles started to hint that Star! marked a change of pace for Julie. However, the focus was largely on change at the level of visual style with Star! framed as little more than a cosmetic makeover for “our Julie”: 

“To play Gertrude Lawrence should give Julie Andrews a much deserved chance to prove what a charmer she is. On the screen Julie has been hidden under nun’s robes and missionary muumuus for the past two years…In Gertrude Lawrence’s chiffon and ostrich she should come alive as a glamorous woman instead of a wholesome girl” (Sheppard, D1).

Or again:

“In ‘Star!’ [Julie is] playing her first glamorous role, a musical comedy star based on the life of Gertrude Lawrence. Donald Brooks designed a $250,000 wardrobe for her, not including the $2,500,000 worth of real jewels supplied by Cartier’s in New York…It’s a chic and elegant Julie you’ll be seeing in ‘Star!’, singing more than two dozen songs by Noel Coward, Kurt Weil, George Gershwin, Cole Porter, and other great composers” (Sherman, B-3).

The net effect of these widespread media reports was to present Star! as a variation on the classic Cinderella ‘makeover’ musical which had been central to Julie’s stardom from My Fair Lady to Thoroughly Modern Millie (Cantu 2015). Small point that Julie’s new character was possibly more Wicked Stepmother than Cinderella.

One of the most spectacular examples of the promotional framing of Star! as fairytale makeover is this lavish cover spread from the popular US weekly magazine, Look. Hitting the stands in mid-September 1967 –– nine months before Star!’s UK premiere and a full year before its US release –– the magazine spread is essentially a photographic panegyric to Julie as ‘glammed up’ princess with costume designer Donald Brooks cast in the the role of symbolic Fairy Godmother:

“At this point, Star! is only half-born…However, publicity on the Robert Wise production for 20th Century-Fox starts now, and its uproar will echo immediately through the world of fashion. Julie will wear 124 different costumes in Star! They are all glamorous, a word invented for the likes of Gertie Lawrence and captured now by designer Donald Brooks. For women who do not want to follow the hippie road or slick moon-blast to fashion, here is salvation” (Zill, 63).

In glossy full page shots by famed photographer, Cal Bernstein, Julie is showcased in some of Brook’s most lavish costumes, set against a series of fantasy backdrops courtesy of the Fox prop department: Julie as darling flapper, as ‘swellegant’ society lady, as landed gentry. It’s a stunning preview of "Julie’s Dazzling New Look” but it offers nary a hint about “Julie’s Acidic New Personality”!

On its release, reviews of Star! were sharply mixed. The film garnered more praise than is often remembered, but among the many brickbats, critics were quick to highlight the jarring disjunction between Julie’s received star image and her waspish new role. In a typical example, Renata Adler* of The New York Times wrote:  

“Miss Andrews, who plays Gertrude Lawrence, is not at her best in this one. There is some sort of clash between her special niceness and innocence and the attitude that the film, directed by Robert Wise (of ‘The Sound of Music’), has toward the star of ‘Private Lives’ and ‘The King and I’" (Adler, 21).

Could this type of response have been averted with a more careful pre-release framing of the film and its casting of Julie ‘against type’? Possibly, but then Star!’s problems were never limited to the film’s surprise revision of Julie’s ‘girl next door’ persona. Failure may be a proverbial orphan but in the case of Star! it most definitely had ‘multiple fathers.’ Some of the other factors operative in the film’s underperformance will likely be flagged in future posts but the Look magazine cover from 1967 provides a telling insight into one of them. The cover’s uneasy juxtaposition of Julie’s fantasy glamour makeover alongside headline allusions to the war in Vietnam and rising murder rates serves a symbolic snapshot of the rapidly brewing social tumult that would rise to engulf America and bedevil the reception of Star! and other big screen musicals of the era. 

Variously dubbed ‘the year that rocked the world’, 'the year of awakening’, ‘the year of revolt’, 1968 was nothing if not a watershed moment of profound social upheaval. As post-war baby boomers came of age and countercultural youth movements reached critical mass, “there occurred a spontaneous combustion of rebellious spirits around the world” united by “a sense of alienation from the established order and a profound distaste for authoritarianism in any form” (Kurlansky, xvii). In such a context, the complexion and tastes of movie audiences were, like the times, a-changin’ fast. Small youth-oriented and iconoclastic social realist films like The Graduate (1967) Bonnie and Clyde (1967) and Easy Rider (1969) were the new order of the day and, almost overnight, big budget musicals like Star! were deemed woefully old-fashioned, even irrelevant.

In a remarkably hostile piece that is possibly more cultural symptomatology than actual film review, Robert Kotlowitz, resident critic for Harper’s magazine, took Star! to task for what he saw as the film’s reactionary obliviousness to America’s changing zeitgeist. The filmmakers, he writes, seem to:

“have simply strolled over to Hollywood’s immense fantasy bin –– in which slivers of our national psyche lie buried –– and casually plucked dozens of the gaudiest clichés from the dust and packaged them as a Technicolor extravaganza…[Star!] is less concerned with the biography of Gertrude Lawrence than with using the rags-to-riches, triumphs-and-heartaches outline of her story to define an extinct type of glamor, the ideal of an anti-serious and pre-pop generation…it’s impossible to imagine the John Lennon legend ever receiving this kind of treatment “ (169).

Not sure about John Lennon –– though fifty years after the fact, one would be hard pressed to claim his legend hasn’t been subject to its own forms of clichéd idealisation –– but Kotlowitz’s diatribe certainly gives a sense of the extent to which Star! suffered substantial fallout from the era’s rapidly transforming social climate. 

And, pace Kotlowitz’s testy dismissal of the film as “extinct glamor”, Star! possibly offers its own eloquent rejoinder when, in a spirited defence of Gertie’s mercurial eccentricities, Noël Coward grandly declaims: 

“I know she’s maddening, infuriating and impossible…but she’s also probably the most beautiful and entrancing creature ever to walk onto a stage. Glamour is a very overworked and quite indefinable word but I think the world could do with a little of her brand of it at the moment” (Fairchild, 142).

Five decades on, some of us are still entranced by the glamour of Star!…warts and all! ___________________________

Notes:

* It was widely reported that Renata Adler left the press screening of Star! early due to illness. The fact that she went ahead to file a negative, and dismissively short, review despite only having seen half the film prompted an outraged letter to the editor from Twentieth Century-Fox head, Daryl F. Zanuck. It was one of several gaffes that marked Adler’s brief but tempestuous tenure as resident film critic at The New York Times (Roberts, 181ff).

Sources:

Adler, Renata. “Screen: ‘Star!’ Arrives: Julie Andrews Featured in Movie at Rivoli.” The New York Times. 23 October 1968: 21.

Anderson, George. “Andrews Garned in New Image.” Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. 23 March 1982: 27, 30.

Cantu, Maya. American Cinderellas on the Broadway Musical Stage: Imagining the Working Girl from Irene to Gypsy. London: Palgrave MacMillan, 2015.

Coleman, John. “Per Adua ad Julie.” New Statesman. 26 July 1968: 118.

Edwards, T.J. “The Saga of ‘Star!’”. Star! Special Edition LaserDisc. Beverley Hills, CA: Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, 1993.

Fairchild, William. Star! Unpublished screenplay. Final version: 26 January 1967. 

Kaplan, Mike. “Julie Andrews to Film ‘Star’.” The San Bernadino County Sun. 29 April 1967: B-10.

Kennedy, Matthew. Roadshow!: The Fall of Film Musicals in the 1960s. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2013.

Kotlowitz, Robert. “Films: ‘Star!’, ‘Finian’s Rainbow’, ‘Hot Millions’.” Harper’s. Vol. 237. No. 1422, November 1968: 168-171.

Kurlansky, Mark. 1968: The Year that Rocked the World. New York: Random House, 2004.

“Movie Call Sheet.” The Los Angeles Times. 24 May 1965: IV-10.

Roberts, Jerry. The Complete History of American Film Criticism. Santa Monica: Santa Monica Press, 2010.

Scheuer, Philip. “Julie Andrews Just Right for Gertie.” The Los Angeles Times. 2 December 1964: V-15.

Sheppard, Eugenia. “Julie Will Play Gertrude Lawrence Role.” The Honolulu Advertiser. 7 November 1966: D1.

Sherman, Eddie. “’STAR’ Communique.” Honolulu Advertiser. 8 August 1967: B-3.

Silverman, Stephen M. The Fox That Got away: The Last Days of the Zanuck Dynasty at Twentieth Century-Fox. Seacusus, NJ: Lyle Stuart, 1988.

Zill, Jo Ahern. “Julie Plays Gertie.” Look. Vol. 31, no. 19. 19 September 1967: 63-68.

Copyright © Brett Farmer 2018