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ssreeder · 1 year

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sreedie. it is time.

NO SOKKA baby people want to be your friend you just DONT LET THEM

pls sokka thinking he can gaslight himself out of being in pain is so in character but so. goddamn Frustrating

sokka is giving anna from frozen with his whole “my firebender’s awake so IM awake” deal

listen I get why sokka is like oh I should cut back on the swearing if I wanna Grow as a person but like,,, as an australian the concept of swearing being Bad is just so foreign to me lmao

I think it’s a really interesting component of the zukka relationship (highlighted by your traumatic drowning scene thx sreedie) that sokka’s instinct is to try to hide in/behind zuko??? like he’s obviously very protective of zuko too, but I think that in a way, even when sokka is on the offensive and is the person defensive zuko from the outside world he’s still using zuko as like, idfk a shield?? of sorts??? to deflect away his fear for himself and all that jazz… does that make any sense whatsoever????? idfk lads

STOP ik it’s a super serious moment but all I could think about when sokka was like “he had to do it for zuko” wAS THE FUCKING let me do it for you tiktok sound T-T

not aang talking like an actual certified therapist at 12 years of age omfg- wish I was that emotionally well adjusted fr

damn sokka really said #codependecy

FUCK PLEASE TELL SOKKA ABOUT YHE FUCKINF VEINS PLEASE SREEDIE IM STRESSED AS ALL HELL

F U C K

Y E S

finally ohmygod

katara: I can feel the toxins in zuko’s blood

iroh externally: oh?

iroh internally: whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck

LMFAO zuko calling sokkatara momo while his body is actively trying to kill itself as a JOKE is the most zuko thing ever. the most comedic thing about this boy is his absolutely Disastrous timing (by which I mean it’s impeccable)

PRISON PALS I still love that moniker <3

noooo not zuko worrying about shen when we know damn well shen got kebabed >:(

can katara please tell sokka that zuko wants him by his side. like girl. please.

okay I really do Not want this to happen, nor do I think it actually Will happen bc uhm duh, but it would be like,, so ironic of zuko did just die. like they went through all that and for what LMAO (it’s not funny it’s Not Funny why am I giggling to myself)

FINALLY A MENTION IF THE MIRACULOUS TEETH KEEPING OF ZUKKA NATION

lmao sokka is worrying himself into a early grave bc he cares so much about zuko but he’s also 100% ready to immediately assume that zuko let him down by outing sokka as a liar (I mean he’s right, but still. harsh)

woah woah woah sokka calm your tits man, rasu might be sex on legs but your sister is only 14 and that’s just gross

SEE rasu my reasonable child <3 (he’s also so snarky I actually love him so. much.)

insane how fast sokka switches from “rasu >:(“ to “rasu :D” when he learns that rasu knows zuko lol

YOU CANT TAKE THE NERD OUT OF SOKKA BABYYY (same.)

“sipping the sauce” LMAO

uh yeah rasu I think jee has every right to be worried ngl

sokka is just out here exposing himself bc he’s JEALOUS I cannot anymore with this boy

“prince zuko is a character without trying to be one” yKW I JUST REALISED?? ZUKO HAS MAJOR MR BEAN ENERGY just more homocidal and uh,, traumatised

god thinking about jet’s amputation has me squeamish as FUCK

sokka rearranging his book stack so the sex book is in the middle is so relatable agsjekfpf it’s giving the same energy as getting a massage and hiding your underwear between the rest of your clothes after you get changed into the robe thing

not sokka being endeared by zuko’s love for the art of thievery <3 mood

SHIT FUCK QUON

DICKHEAD

OMG WAIT IS HE GONNA RECOGNISE SOKKA AS RHE BITXH THAT ZUKO KISSED PRIOR TO KIDNAPPING

damn. after all that and sokka just exposed himself. cant even blame it on zuko this time buddy.

you can always count on little sisters to put you back in your place (as the little sister can confirm)

woag.

not the angst train going past us like choo choo motherfuckers.

I am not going to bag katara in any way, shape, or form for pretending to be sokka to get information out of zuko bc I would’ve so done the same thing with like,, zero hesitation. maybe I’m just a lying liar who lies though so idk

anyways: screaming, crying, destroying your living room and smashing all your lightbulbs.

I’m so mad that there’s no zukka reunion BUT !! you did give us a library which I was SUPER not expecting but enthralled by nonetheless so ig I’ll have to forgive you

ANYWAYS hope life has retired from kicking you around bc that’s my job and I’m the only one allowed to make you suffer >:(

also I just reread my last comment and realised I already said I’d smash all your lightbulbs so ig this is just a trend now. have fun living in medieval times forever ex-lover <3

Oh shit that’s so true, Sokka is very Anna and Zuko is very Elsa haha. (Odd how that happened lol)

Soooo I do think Sokka depends on Zuko WAY too much, emotionally physically mentally - but if that’s all he has to keep him waking up in the morning who am I to stop him. (But building up his own physical strength, dealing with his own issues instead of just focusing on zukos trauma, and allowing other people in his life to get close to him and then help him would be GREAT ;))

Sokkatara is now canon I’m obsessed with the nickname leekie beloved your brain is too big.

Rasu was like “oh no this kids crazy” & then Sokka said “tell me about Zuko” and rasu twirls his hair and giggles “SURE” & that’s how friends are formed. Take notes.

Katara & Sokka just need to get into one big “getting along shirt” and call it a day… but I kind of think Sokka would try to claw his way out… so yeah we don’t do that.

Lies are being exposed and Sokka has ZERO ground to keep standing on so he better accept the help or he is really going to drown. Ha.

LEEKI STOP SMASHING MY LIGHTBULBS I GOT TWO FLASHLIGHTS AND I CANT DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE.

Alright ex love I will see you soon!! :) <3

#but not actually #I won’t be SEEING YOU #but I’ll be arounndddddd #I was going to post the next chapter this weekend #then it was Eid #& my beautiful beta was raging #like a badass #& in the meantime I rewrote like #… two POVs #so yeah I kind of went backwards haha #probably next weekend #unless soemthing incredible happens #which I’ll keep ya posted <3 #LOVE YOU LEEKIE!!!#leekie tag #liab #ITF #ask

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najatheangel · 4 years

Text

Written Ship 💕💕

hii!! i was wondering if i could get a written ship for NCT, BTS and (G)-IDLE. thank you in advance! 💕

i’m overall quiet laidback and low-energy. i often come off as aloof and standoffish due to my quiet and very, very (very) introverted nature. i’m deadpan and unenthusiastic, both in my humor and overall communication skills, so it’s very hard for me to express my affection (without dying of embarrassment).

i’m a devoted nerd and really enjoy learning. i spend a lot of time broadening my knowledge in anthropology and personality theory, as well as spiritually and astrology. i love reading and writing, spending my time (that i’m not randomly reading someone’s astrological chart or typing every single living being with personality labels) writing new drafts for fantasy books i can only wish to publish.

i’m a libra, INFJ and ravenclaw. i speak fluent portuguese, english and spanish, and am learning french and chinese mandarin — i study linguistics in college. i love conspiracy theories, and have full length 12 pages theories of my own. i also love fashion and dressing up, often getting comments on my “preppy” style. i’m not that in tune with the physical world, so i can often forget to “live” outside my head.

thank you so much for reading this far!!! 💘

Hello honey boo, thanks so much for requesting and telling me about yourself. Your a very interesting person. Anyways here’s your ship...😊😊

From Nct(ot23), I ship you with...Kun

Positive Side: When I read your description, for some reason I just felt like someone like Kun would be the perfect fit. Although your personalities and energy levels are very different, Kun can motivate you for simple things like waking up early in the morning, do something productive and even try new things you’ve never done before. Don’t worry about embarrassing yourself sometimes Kun has his very corny yet cute moments so, he has no shame in feeling embarrassed with you. As we know, he’s the ultimate mama/husband material for you and the Wayv members so sometimes he’ll need someone laidback as you to help him relax, get good sleep and talk about his day with. So this opposite attract situation works for the best! As far as hobbies, you both have a lot of interests and share your love for knowledge on certain topics. Kun is very wise and is willing to read the latest books you recommend to each other and later on will have discussions on them. He would send you his secret cooking recipes to let you cook by yourself if he wasn’t around to eat together with you. While he was off on his comebacks, backstage he would read up on personality types and his astrology natal chart that you have sent him so he would discover more about himself. He’s very fluent in Chinese and Korean, but he would also want to learn other languages from you since ten be teasing him like crazy so he decides to take weekly language lessons from you. Overall you both can learn to adapt to each other’s personalities yet at the same time bring the best versions out of yourselves.

Negative Side: Once you two started getting serious, the scarier it got for the both of you because now friends and family were involved in learning more about your relationship together. The pressure got to you not only because you wanted to make a good impression on them, but it was all starting to move too fast for you. Kun asked you out after 4 months of being with you and you didn’t want to break his heart by saying you need more time or this is moving too fast, so you just rolled with it. Knowing how introverted you can be, the anxiety started kicking when you were meeting his family. They seemed very sweet and supportive, but they were asking a lot of questions and it started to get to your head. You panicked and decided to leave early not wanting disappoint Kun. “Kun, I think we’re going to have to slow down a bit. I’m not ready to face your family yet.” He tries to grab your sleeve to keep you from leaving his parents house, but you ran off shedding a tear. “I guess she’s going to need some more time.” Leans against the door looking up to the ceiling sighing.

But...: After a few weeks of not speaking or visiting Kun, you’ve decided how much you wanted to be with him and are willing to face through this awkward moment with him together one last time. Once you’ve called him you didn’t even have to tell him where you were, he was already behind the door and ran upstairs to your room to pick you up bridal style spinning you around. You were home alone for a split second enjoying your long awaited reunion until you hear your parents knocking on your door dropping off some food for you. You were a bit nervous, but more confident than the last time to let Kun meet your parents first. You walk down stairs hand in hand smiling at each other before opening the door. “Let’s invite them in and eat together Kun.” “There’s no turning back after this are you sure?” You kiss him on the cheek and then on the forehead to calm the nerves. “Oh I’m sure.”

From Bts, I ship you with...RM

Positive Side: You two are unstoppable together, the beauty and the brains couple. You were infatuated by each other the more you get to know each other by the minute. Although your a ravenclaw and he’s a griffindor, you both compliment each other very well and adore each other’s characteristics. He love how intelligent, sharp and creative you can be when you put your efforts into your writing and your ability to learn multiple languages which is a used skill to have. Just like Kun, you can learn from his leadership skills and you love how caring he is amongst the people around him. RM loves his alone time when it comes to reading a book to find inspiration in the mountains or traveling to different art exhibits to take his beautiful photos, but the he’s much happier bringing you along. He was your biggest inspiration and you wanted to follow in his footsteps which along the way developed into a romantic relationship. He also had that ability to help you achieve your dreams by sending you motivational quotes, giving you advice and giving you feedback on your writing so you can publish your books with his help. Although he has his clumsy moments and might makes mistakes every once in awhile, he still wishes to do his best to be your life partner and mentor for the long run until you both retire.

Negative Side: It was a tough process trying to make it official with him, because most of your conversations were about astrology, conspiracy theories and hardships you’ve experienced throughout your pasts. You saw him as a mentor and a reliable resource and you thought that was all he would ever be. However, he was the first one to fall for you and worked really hard to make you notice, but never out right said. When you even started going on blind dates, he was still being the sweet man supporting your love life. This one time you even introduced the guy you were dating for awhile in front of him and he was trying his best to smile and be happy for you, but it was obviously getting to him. “Y/N, I think I’m going to head back out to the dorms, I’ll see ya later.” He tries to reach out to hug you, but the guy your with clings you closer to him glaring at him. Ever since it was awkward for the both of you to face each other.

But...: After months of being with your current boyfriend you start missing RM and you start feeling bored with your relationship. The excitement, feeling and passion just wasn’t the same without being with RM. You decided to meet up with now to be your ex and told him that you should see other people because how you fallen in love with RM. For the most part he expected that to happen and offered you to drive you to the airport to catch up with RM before he flies away to L.A. for his album promotions. It was like straight of a k-drama, you ran as fast as you can to find Bts and as soon as they were going to walk inside the airplane, you saw them and screamed “Namjoon!” to get his attention. He was confused at first, but as soon as he heard your confession he cut you off with a kiss. “You don’t even have to say it. I love you too. I have for a longtime.” He looks down at you smiling, but realizes he has to leave in 1 minute. “Go ahead Namjoon, I’ll be waiting for your return.” You both wave at each other blowing one last air kiss each other waiting for the next reunion.

His future wife is going to be sooo lucky. ✨

From (G)-IDLE, I ship you with...Yuqi

Positive Side: She was your saving grace. This is another opposites attract situation where your personalities oddly blend so well together. While your more introverted and prefer to stay in small groups, she’s more on the extrovert side and prefers to hang out in big groups. Since she likes you so much, she doesn’t mind being alone with you and spending quality time with you. Once again she can be very funny and sometimes have her clumsy yet cute moments just like RM which makes you fall in love with her even more. When you show her your stories and need feedback on it, she reads it over as many times as you need to with her deep satisfying reading voice. She might not know a lot on your subject as far as astrology, personality types and linguistics, but she’ll know what study tools that’ll help you pass your exams, take time out of her schedule to help you finish your papers and reward you with a good meal with her members after your done. Lastly she would love to learn multiple languages from you and even ask you how to say certain words so she can say things like “I love you” or “I want to cuddle”, but when’s she’s away she wants to say “I miss you. I can’t wait to see you again”

Negative Side: For the most part Yuqi is very sweet to you and there’s barely any arguments about anything, but except when you have your days when your stuck in bed or prefer to have some time alone. Yuqi is very friendly and would want to spend as much time with you as possible, because of her schedule so when your not in the mood to hang out or prefer to sleep on your own it does upset her a little. She would be a little irritated for the most part, but she wouldn’t try to have a full outburst over it because she has other things to worry about. She would even tell her members about it which would upset you, because you feel like she’s fed up with you and cause a misunderstanding.

But...: After talking it over with the members, she realizes that sometimes you just need your time alone to rest from school, writing and doing research all day. Just like for her when she had to be in the studio and practice her choreography all week for her comebacks, she needs some time to rest, but have her members if she can’t reach out to you. You both apologize for upsetting each other and for now on will work the issues out by talking to each other. Your both also very forgiving and don’t dwell to much on the past so it’s best to focus on the future.

Out of everyone, I ship you the most with...RM💜

@nephilete Thanks so so much for requesting love and I hope this somewhat made your night/day. Feel free to request again.

#submission #kpop ships #written ships #nct 2020 #nct ships #nct ot23 #Kun #bts ships #Bts #rm #(g)-idle ships #(g)-idle #yuqi

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the-nysh · 4 years

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At what point in the story you started liking Garou as a character? What was his first impression on you and how did it changed later as the story progressed?

Oooh! What a GREAT question, I’m so glad you asked! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ (Cause yes, my perceptions of him certainly did change over time! And that’s one of the fun things I love to see happen with other opm fans too.) So let’s see…*pulls up a chair and shovel to dig thru nearly 5yrs of archives* where to begin~

It was definitely a gradual process (so buckle in, this is gonna be a looong chronological trip thru memory lane. About 3500~ words!)

First impressions

Early on (and cause I’m skeptical to most new characters who I don’t ‘know’ yet), I remember feeling kinda like ‘huh? Who the heck is this guy? This wannabe Hiruma-lookalike (recognizing some of Murata’s recycled Eyeshield 21 char design elements for him) with some silly double Vegeta hair? The hell does he think he’s doing??’ Beyond being kinda incredulous about him, I honestly didn’t really give him much passing thought or attention either, and definitely not anything on a deeper level yet. He was just kinda there (I suppose?), but also out there forcefully (cockily and somewhat annoyingly?) inserting himself as the ‘villain’ into the story at times (which wasn’t really my thing), seemingly WAY in over his head with reckless antics and overambitious about what he was claiming to be and challenging himself to do (which I thought seemed both ridiculous and ironic to set up like that when characters like Saitama exist to directly check/refute his aims).

So at the time I wasn’t fully ‘on board’ or invested much in his story/concept yet cause I hadn’t really seen him…define himself (beyond those first impressions) into his own fleshed-out character. Because he still kept reminding me too much of other characters (I even heard him with Hiruma’s voice) rather than breaking out on his own. Murata’s early art also had yet to really evolve and settle him into his own distinguishable ‘face’ for that matter too (he would though later, when he’d draw ‘Garou’ recognizable as himself and not like…‘Hiruma’s shadow’ anymore). So with all that coming in, it’s hard to ‘see’ or genuinely ‘like’ a char at first when they haven’t done much yet to distinguish themselves from others and grow into their own. (Oho, how time will tell~)

This impression of Garou hadn’t really changed much and continued all thru the Metal Bat fight, by the way. (I actually caught up to the manga around the time Murata introduced MB with the centipedes and was about to start his fight with Garou. Events which weren’t on my highest priority to see either, cause I still mostly preferred seeing Saitama + Genos interact instead.) But on a surface level, I at least knew Garou was fun/impressive to watch and his excitable/feral energy was infectious and entertaining (Murata really knew how to hype him up too), but other than that, I’d yet to really ‘like’ him on his own (enough to talk/blog about) still.

I first eased into reblogging stuff with him back in Oct 2016, which included the first reblog of his back muscles (lol) appreciating how Murata drew him facing Watchdog Man so ksjggh that part of the story (when Murata was teasing their fight) was also when Garou starting having a presence on my blog. :O

First turning point

However, I distinctly remember the first ‘aha I see now’ point in understanding him better was when I did a second reread of the webcomic. (I don’t exactly remember when that was, but probably sometime during the tournament arc when the pace was kinda dragging, so I prob reread the wc around then for fun.) It was around early-April 2017 when I later admitted that (in the tags):

I’ve come to really like Garou, a second read of the webcomic made me fond of him, of his background and ideas he wished to set out and change, his heart was in it and he had his set of morals, but he was young and brashly took the wrong path, I really want to see him return someday now that he's learned better

Cause following the big webcomic reveal at the end of his arc (when Saitama calls him out), going back thru his entire story again you could totally spot all the consistent hints and signs (from both his backstory and actions) ONE sprinkled the entire time, making everything revealed about him true, and not suddenly sprung up outta nowhere. It was finally like ‘aaah, I understand what’s up with him and can sympathize where he’s coming from. Yes that makes sense. :O’ However, this clarity/acknowledgment had yet to shift from simply ‘seeing’ or understanding a thing as knowledge, to actually feeling it (connecting on a deeper/personal level) later. That’ll remain a big distinction.

May 2017, I first started writing some early meta break downs about him, starting with his end-arc parallels in Suiryu’s despair moment and from this, there was acknowledgement how all ONE’s manga additions (up til then this was still all tournament arc stuff) were only building further context towards what’s to come much later on in the webcomic.

June 2017, I started posting stream coverage about him (vs Watchdog Man stuff when he intercepts King and Saitama.) Around this time I also admit this kinda stuff in tags ‘goodness how I love that this nerd has a soft spot for that kid (truthfully he's not monstrous at all)’ for appreciating the manga’s wholesome extra Tareo moments.

Second big turning point

Around Sept-Oct 2017 was when post content/stream coverage kinda started exploding during the whole vs A/B heroes + shed fight. This whole sequence, following the tournament arc, was the first big long-awaited return back to the wc’s script (with style!), but with significant expansions (esp to his character) never seen before. In particular, the bullet shielding moment was changed/revised from him simply standing there in the wc, to Garou protecting Tareo in the shed.

Truly awesome and moving because dang, he selflessly put his life on the line for that ‘Garou the determinator fending off the impossible while protecting a kid ;o;’ Firmly standing up to (injustices) and revealing his solid moral core, like wow, what a guy. <3

Murata’s stream output picked up significantly back then too (compared to his slower pace drawing the previous arcs), so I also admitted: ‘gosh been cheering for Murata's hard work just like Garou's in-chapter determination!’

But also cause this whole fight was like the first actual, legit demonstration (shown, not told) of Garou’s prodigious fighting skills, intelligence, tenacity, resourcefulness, perseverance, etc. Like this is what he’s actually capable of when pushed to the brink; testing the actual quality of his character (showing his true colors) and allowing those merits to shine while under unfavorable, difficult, and desperate conditions. And all impressively done in a way to make the audience both believe it and root for him (presented from his side much like a protagonist? Wild! 8D) It was extremely thrilling and badass (truly that whole shed part was brilliant, narratively and spectacle-wise. As I’ve repeatedly gone back to write about many times and again. :’D) My impressions of Garou around this time:

yoooo boi see I really like Garou, the wild prodigy determinator with a misguided goal, going all out and demonstrating his talent and prowess (even tho he gets in over his head), PROTECTING CHILDREN WHEN HE PRETENDS HE DOESN'T CARE, omfg what a softie (as Saitama would say) :'D, yaaa see he was never a 'real' monster at all, Saitama can see straight through him, and what he REALLY wants to achieve

Dec 2017, first started getting some sporadic Garou anons after the whole epic manga spectacle vs Genos + Bang + EC fight with everyone.

Jan 2018, back when Garou was captured in the MA base and then left to his own devices above ground…things started getting really interesting. Including noticing ONE’s more careful (or perhaps more transparent?) approach to writing Garou’s manga portrayal this time around. Different and more nuanced from the wc for instance, so there were many fascinating contradictions and complexities to uncover (break down meta-wise) about his convictions, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and how he applied those thru his actions and behavior (revealing decisive acts of character). This was when @gofancyninjaworld also started joining in to discuss and explore Garou’s ongoing dilemma with his goals and mindset. “His heart is in the right place, but his means are not, because at his core, he’s not a monster.” I admitted ‘Garou’s one of the most well-written characters in the story, I feel.’ And I was really looking forward to all the significant changes ONE was doing to make his manga story all the more defined and cohesive than it already was in the wc. That made things extra engaging (when there’s a desire to look deeper into things for fun and excitement for more).

Third turning point

Feb 2018 Oooh man. It was around here, (when Garou saves Tareo from the bullies and confronts RR and Bug God) that I was really starting to feel that shift happening (the impression of him turning into something more), so I had to comment on his ongoing characterization presented thus far (budding into a well-rounded, 3 dimensional character) and how ONE was (re)writing him in a more personal, sympathetic light that made him so easy to root for and genuinely likeable. I was fully AWARE of this happening and what both Murata and ONE were doing to increase his appeal. Admitting the more they revealed of him the more I was falling deeper for him, and fully welcoming it by narrative design. (Like alright let’s goooo! 8’D) Cause it was obvious how much differently and expansive he was getting portrayed vs the wc (with much less moral ambiguity). I said:

“Garou’s not simply a rogue, prodigious teen going on a spiteful rampage with an overconfident, slasher smile. Consistently, he’s been shown what really makes him tic: what gets him serious, passionate, sincere, and desperate – things that force his hand to either fight or defend against, with standards and ideals that he’d put his life on the line for. All of it is great: a variety of expressive emotions and definitive acts of character that all build towards the whole. Which we’re then left to ponder exactly what that is. Is he truly a villain or a hero? Is he really a troublemaking bad guy or actually a misguided ‘nice guy’? The answer isn’t so black and white; it’s more like a mix of ALL of the above. And I LIKE that. As ONE has presented him, Garou is Garou, and not really someone to align or classify as simply one or the other. He’s in that kind of delicious gray zone where he’s getting put to the brink to show his true colors. And it’s so GOOD and refreshing to see.”

That plus the manga showing his deeper bond with Tareo, his gruffly protective qualities (ok but that’s kinda hot?) and a more sincere showing of his morals (which he refused to budge on no matter what anyone else ordered him to do), brought on all the feels. :’)

Stream coverage + ch commentary devolved to like unintelligible screaming, with some ‘man he’s so fucking cool,’ or ‘damn protective Garou’s SOO good,’ or ‘I swear the more Murata draws of him the more I fall for him like wtf,’ or even the flat out ‘GODDAMMIT MURATA ;A;’ types of suffering reactions, ahaha.

At this point I was all ‘bring on the Garou appreciation; he deserves it; I have a mighty NEED’ but was kinda annoyed/frustrated with the fandom cause there was hardly any recent fan content of him (relevant to his current plot progression, it was all suspiciously dry or old ship-related content I wasn’t interested in cause the plot had moved on, so I was like omg where is everybody, hello?!) It was already a dry spell in between seasons so overall fan content was slow anyway, but it seemed like there were so few actual fans of him (to my confusion?!) So I started making my own content (beyond just the stream coverage and ch reactions/commentary + meta) with the expression posts appreciation.

March 2018. U-uhoh, things (and posting frequency especially) were starting to escalate. His reaction to literally getting backstabbed by the monsters and losing Tareo (his quiet but seething controlled feral rage) definitely had me feeling™ things.

Final nail in the coffin

April 2018 Oshit;; Garou forcefully storming and bulldozing his way thru the MA base, his awesome BIG DAMN HEROES moment rescuing Tareo from Royal Ripper, to his hilarious absolute tsundere™ moment denying it (before running into Rover and immediately protecting the kid again) pretty much destroyed me. This was also like the first time I’d seen ONE make a character go full tsundere mode and pull it off in a genuine comedic way (with the classic ‘it’s not like I came here to save you or anything baka’ line and all) so pfft, that was so much endearing icing on the cake. :’D

At this point someone even asked me who’s my favorite opm character, to which I was all, ‘Garou’s current manga content has been on fire so he’s been quickly skyrocketing into my favs (if he wasn’t there already)!’

But then Murata soon dropped THIS ‘protect the child’ page all with perfect timing, and I was…fucking doomed.

'sugoi ojisan' was pretty much the moment of instant death for me ;A; my constant reaction to the streams has been that gaijin 4koma meme with laser heart eyes for emphasis, and I'm pretty much losing my ability to articulate much beyond screaming at this rate

Garou’s behavior could then be summarized as ‘a very stubborn and in denial asshole tsundere little shit nerd. <3’ But there was classic ONE heartwarming irony in there too, cause Garou hadn’t fully ‘lost’ his battles either…during those critical times where he actually assumed the role of the ‘hero’ for Tareo instead. (Oho~)

basically Garou is a great character, the more you look into how ONE has built him the more meta af it gets

May 2018 (the long-awaited debut of the wc ‘scarf’ vs Rover towards Garou vs Orochi’s epic wtfshitstorm) lolwhoops~ I finally made the inevitable back muscles compilation while also writing longer, more in depth meta posts about him.

Murata delivered some of the best stream content we’ve seen of him. (Completely on FIRE, both literally and figuratively. And looking back, this was probably some of the most fun Murata’s stream sessions ever got. :’D Was awesome to be a fan tuning in during this time.)

even Murata was doodling chibis of himself freaking out in the margins XD

Delivering content from the pose of peak badassery…to dropping stream doodles of peak heartwarming/cuteness (Garou & Tareo in suits) on the fans for good measure.

bam Murata’s out to kill us with his art ...Murata can you like -maybe- chill? ABSOLUTELY NOT

Basically Murata knew exactly what he was doing, always delivering and servicing the fans (drawing the coke bottle was a fan suggestion too) yet also remaining a huge tease~

Towards S2 and beyond

June 2018, following the Orochi fight, Garou was put on a bus and absent from the manga for a while, so I went back revisiting older content again (rereading the manga for fun) and realizing/noticing/wondering stuff I hadn’t really caught about him before like…oh no why is he cute?? Was he always this way or had my eyes finally opened after everything??? (Cause aside from him being a little shit or a cool badass, he was also a complete dork and a nerd, and an oblivious dummy, and just…that was so…wtf endearing, a full package of fun to enjoy.)

But we soon got clips of Midorikawa’s voice reveal (from the opm drama cd) and all hell broke loose among the resident Garou fans. 8’D Especially cause his voice was ‘dark/smooth/mature/sexy’ as opposed to a higher-pitched, unhinged teen voice many had expected (remember that old Hiruma voice I first thought for him? So interestingly many fanboys were disappointed with this deeper voice casting). But also cause Midorikawa said “I’ll do my best to make Garou even more charming than before,” so we were excited to see Garou’s popularity spike even more cause of s2.

Aug 2018, the s2 key visual revealed with Garou prominently featured up and center and I WAS NOT PREPARED!!! I remember having like a full hyper-incoherent breakdown because of this so…yeaaaaah. 8’D I was all rationalizing,

If anything it’s all Murata and ONE’s fault that (the hype and appreciation for him) feeling’s grown even stronger. He was already a thoroughly fun walking meta source, but the manga made his softer/compassionate moments much more obvious (than in the wc). Just watch as this badass dorky nerd becomes even more hugely popular than he already is!

April 2019 was his anime debut…coincided with his post-arc WEBCOMIC DEBUT AFTER 5 FUCKING YEARS (before he even returned in the manga even) IMPECCABLE timing from ONE, holy shit people lost their minds. Including Murata, who had to draw him too! With all that and the anime airing (adding even more wholesome cute Tareo interactions not seen in the manga), fandom participation (+anons) really started to kick off.

I remember seeing the influx of new fans and how so many (who didn’t ‘know’ him yet either) would unironically label him as genuinely ‘evil’ or a ‘heinous villain’ at face value, which….uhhhhhh were the kinda takes that were hard to take seriously, but I appreciated how ONE’s writing allowed the readers to see and think for themselves as the narrative revealed more (rather than believing everything the characters said or claimed), so it’d only be a matter of time until they ‘saw’ the truth about him too. :’)

May-July 2019 the anime continued airing with fandom activity popping, until August when he finally reappeared and ‘awoke’ in the manga! ;A; After like an entire full year of him mia too. This was also the time frame when all the thirsty (and interestingly meta-hungry) Garou anons started (finding me???) regularly chiming in with fun participation. I was grateful though, cause they prompted certain takes I couldn’t have come up with on my own, and allowed me to think, examine, and explain things much more closely and thoroughly than I had ever posted before. (Yaaay~) Such as looking into just what IS it about him?!

“Garou wouldn’t be as compelling, engaging, and appealing as a character without (all) those other interesting layers and nuances to talk about too! :D It’s even better that way! Cause Murata can draw everyone looking drop-dead gorgeous and conventionally attractive, so just having a pretty face and impressive muscles isn’t enough to make him stand out in a special way from the rest of the cast. Already all those things (about him) are certainly impressive, so just what is it about him in particular? (That makes him unique.) The fact Garou has all that AND those other compassionate & interesting qualities to him just makes it the icing on the cake for a complete, well-rounded package. The fact we can know him, for all his feelings and attitude why he behaves and acts the way he does, such as when he’s contradictory, troubled and tsundere-like sometimes, to hardcore and badass other times, to softer and empathetic to fiercely righteous, protective and determined other times, and all portrayed in the way he’s capable of the range (and makes us feel) the entire spectrum of emotion too. …Like whoa (I could keep going but I’d be preaching to the choir at that point aha), all that only enhances what’s already there. In this way, I feel the Garou we’ve come to know by now is much more endearing and appealing than the one we were introduced to at the start. Because as he appeared then, he may have seemed like just another wannabe thug-of-the-week we might not have given much passing thought & attention to. But now…uhoh, you could arguably say he’s grown to the point he’s almost taken over the rest of the manga (within good reason!) by challenging our perception of who’s even the active protagonist. :O Who keeps us engaged and tuned in to see more. Buaha, just what the hell happened?! Now that’s quite the impressive feat from both ONE and Murata to create a character with a lasting impact like that!”

…So that’s what happened. :’D In my opinion, I feel Garou’s best moments where we (or really, I) got to know him better (shed scene, Elder Centipede aftermath, dine n dash, rescuing Tareo, all up towards his fights vs Rover & Orochi) mostly only happen until after s2 so… Since those were some of my absolute fav manga moments (which only enhanced my perceptions of him), those’ll be the moments I’m really looking forward to see animated in s3. But most of all, I’m hoping to witness some of that same ‘aha!’ gradual realization process happen to newer fans who come to appreciate him too. :’3

#Anonymous #replies #opm #garou #commentary #long post #(readmore pls actually work! ...i think it broke after editing it once)#anyway THIS took plenty of time to put together and relive/remember all those moments from years ago 8'D #how things certainly changed (and escalated!) but here's a breakdown of everything; enjoy~

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runearcana · 4 years

Text

Reasons I am Terezi:

My soon to be deadname sounds like Terezi.

I have an absurdly long tongue.

I look and dress like Terezi. [my hair ends up short, and when I straighten it, it always has a curve at the ends like hers. Ive always thought I look like a female version of Karkat and even tried to be more like him.] I primarily wear black t-shirts with nerdy images.

I love mysteries, solving them, and have a knack for knowing the law on an intuitive level.

I had a best fuckin friend forever that I did everything with. We called ourselves the Greythorne Sisters. I was Wither and she was Malice. [telling much?]

When I broke up with her, I.. used my very strong foresight and saw that there would be issues if we stayed friends. Karkat also encouraged me to do it and was outside when I went through with it. After I told her, she literally crumpled, and I hugged her one last time. She didnt expect it at all. ._.

I went insane with regret and self-hatred afterwards.

My ultimate crush looked, acted, and spoke [yelled] EXACTLY like Karkat.

The reason I got into Homestuck was because I was incredibly shocked at how his likeness was captured in the fan art, and even the official art. EVERYTHING is the same except he has grey-blue eyes, caucasion skin color, lacks horns. Everything else is the same. He sounds most like a more masculine version of Broadway Karkat. Very wicked and masculine voice. Extremely intimidating guy despite his size. [hes not short, just shorter than youd expect someone with a cocky personality like his.]

Karkat even called us the Scourge Sisters.

He hated Vriska. He was jealous of her as well, as anyone interested in me would have been.

I loved Karkat, more than anyone except Vriska, but my self-esteem was too low to believe he legitimately cared about me. On some level I knew he cared about me, but I was too BLIND to see it.

I didnt know I loved Vriska more than Karkat until I had already lost her. v.v

Vriska and I had a serious BDSM relationship [kismesis] after being moirails a very long time. We should have stayed moiraills. :[ It was really my fault that she acted the way she acted.

I am an empath and I can legitimately taste peoples energies.

I may as well be blind because my eyesight is useless to me without glasses.

My favorite color isnt red, its TEAL, but I have a crazy fetish for fiery guys.

Libra ascendant, which is funny because A. your ascendant was your sign in a previous life, and B. its the realm of your PERSONALITY. [Sun is about your life path and moon is about emotions. :P]

I am creepy and cute [or was when I identified as female]. I love scaring the shit out of people. >:]

I like 1337, but I refuse to type that way all the time even though quirks are awesome conceptually. I mean if I could program the computer to remember my quirk, itd be different, but that isnt a thing yet. Itd definitely spice the internet up much more. :]

I still play with plushies and whatevers at hand and draw with chalk.

I adore dragons and see myself as one because I was born in the year of the dragon. :P

I like to cosplay, and wear capes pretty often.

Dave is someone I cared about a great deal. He had a crush on me, but I saw him as a brother. Dirk is a total piece of shit and hurt Dave and Karkat and its why they have so much in common. He IS Daves bro. Dave sort of sticks up for him and Dirk has clueless followers.

Gamzee was a best friend of mine like Dave and we technically had a kismisitude relationship. Gamzee told me Karkat was his best friend but I didnt know it was mutual. He was very upset that Gamzee and I were kinda together.

One night I was sitting at the end of Vriskas bed, thinking she was asleep, and trying not to wake her up with blowing my nose. She was awake and spooked and said she thought I was cackling like a maniac at the end of the bed like a creep. I thought it was pretty much a good assessment.

Another time she told me that while I was asleep, she saw an *evil* me with a sharp toothed grin and grey skin. It didnt seem improbable to me.

John is my biological brother. Hes a Virgo sun, and hes a nerd. :] Hes the only person beside my dad and aunt I talk to. [lots of friends I have, lol.]

Rose is a c*nt but I was fascinated with her for some reason. Rose hates Homestuck because of the fanbase. [lolll]

Kanaya is her sister, not gf/wife. Shes cool, and a reasonable person and was a friend, but we didnt talk much. I dont know why really.. x.x

Aradia was my best friend before Vriska. She and Sollux are married. I had a crush on her hsband and it was awkward.

Equius is an ex. Longest relationship Ive been in was with him.

Eridan is as much of a insufferable asshat as he is in the series, but not good looking in the slightest. He can be.. surprisingly insightful at times. None of us like him, even us INFPs. [Dave and I.]

I see Aranea as my mother. Talks non-stop, ruins lives.. but I used to look up to her.

Calliope was a fellow dragon lover friend that Dave introduced me to. Her handle was Celestial Serpent and she is even more asexual than I am. :]

My friends saw my and Karkats connection as being more like Karkats and Nepetas. He treated me like I was autistic and mostly ignored me. Probably until I confessed to him, and then after I went crazy because I had lost Vriska, and hoped that I could rely on him to be there for me. but despite all that bravado cockiness of his, hes a total wimp. ._.] Karkat and I had a ridiculously brief unspoken relationship that was only through telepathic communication and I got beyond frustrated and kissed a woman, and it was over like that. No one knows about this but us. Its another thing that I have ruminated on and hated myself for and deeply regretted.

I envy gamer girls who are actually good at games and wish I could be more confident and popular. v.v; [Latula]

I had a character on Gaiaonline with the Chucku Norisu scarf and the winged staff item and people drew freebie art of it for me, and when I looked at my pictures after learning about Homestuck it was pretty crazy.

Vriska [best artist I know] drew a character that looked a lot like Terezi that I had liked a lot.

I was very isolated when I was young. Neglected by my parents for the most part and felt too different from other humans. I always wanted a tree house and bulit my own club house that I hung out in as a kid.

My friends pretty much unfairly looked down on and even despised Vriska except Gamzee.

I love the taste and sight of blood. [Im a sadist.]

Dave made a proposition that he, me and Karkat be in a poly relationship and I turned it down. [I did not want to share Karkles with ANYONE. I know in the comic Dave actually disliked the idea, but the poly thing came up with the three of us. I dont know if Karkat was cool with it or not because he always used Dave as our go-between, but if Dave made the offer it must have been Karkat approved. Asshole. -.-]

Karkat and Dave live together and are more than likely morails. Karkat isnt attracted to Dave, but Dave has said he is attracted to Karkat.

I had a dragon umbrella that looked like a cane that I loved a lot.

Karkat is pretty much the unofficial group leader, or at least he was in my opinion. I could see Sollux saying Id make a better leader, though, because Im more clear-headed and calm about things and people from that group respected me [more than I was aware of].

We are all connected somehow.. but the main group consisted of Dave, Gamzee, Rose, Kanaya, me [Terezi], Karkat, and a few people I didnt see as characters from Homestuck. Vriska was not allowed to hang out with us at first. When she finally got her freedom [with my help] she wouldnt hang with the group, and they saw her as taking me away from them. They thought she treated me poorly, but she really didnt. -.- [Vriska did nothing wrong, theyre all just jerks.]

I dont hang out or talk to any of them anymore except John. Im always finding myself reminiscing and I really just wish I could forget I ever met them so I could start over fresh.

I have a spirit guide that is a DRAGON and teaches me anything Id like to know, especially in esoteric matters. His name is Shadowfall Ryu. Ryu is Japanese for Dragon. [lusus] and I agonize that I dont know him irl. Everyone knows about him. I have drawn so much art of him and talked about him so much. He is my ideal self. [i know the lusus in the comics is female, but whatever. Its still interesting.]

I collect dragon stuff, including plushies. I still play with them and wish others would play with me.

List goes on and on.

I cant make this stuff up.

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nodesiretogrowup · 4 years

Text

alrighty, play-by-play recap time!

“A shining civilization, until it fell...INTO THE SEA.” Something about that line/delivery makes me laugh

Kind of wish we had seen them solve to clues to Mervana

Why was this Huey’s quest? He doesn’t end up doing much. Did he chose this adventure?

“I like them.” “We know, Webby.”

Scrooge and Huey nerding out together is ADORABLE

Louie is already done

“Cool, now there’s two people who want to put us in constant danger.” Donald understands your pain. We need an episode focusing on Louie and Donald

I NEED to know why Della hates fish

Why is Della piloting the sub if she hates the ocean? I feel like Donald would be more qualified

“HEY, KNOCK IT OFF!” That was SUCH a sibling moment

LP isn’t here because he needed a break after last week’s episode OR something went down when he was with Oceanika and he can’t be in the ocean for some reason

Louie knows how this shit goes down

So according to Louie’s chart; Huey has been sacrificed the less with 10, then Webby with 15, Louie at 23, and Dewey at 63

“DEWEY’S ON TOP!” Sweetie, that’s not a good thing. How many of those times do you think LP saved him?

I bet Donald had/has a tally sheet too

Webby is PRECIOUS

“Life’s not some fairytale filled with happy endings and...” “MERMAIDS!” Webby is SUCH A MOOD this episode

It’s so cute how in AWE all of them are...

Except for Della

One more Della moment in the theme

Poor Donald

Those things in Aletheia’s headband look like eyes and I can’t unsee it. Also, STARFIRE THE MERMAID!

BEAST BOY THE MERMAN! He pretty much looks like a duck/mermaid version of Greg. It’s great

“So, speaking as a mermaid, WHAT’S IT LIKE TO ACHIEVE MY DREAM?!” WEBBY IS ME

I know the “suffering builds character” line is a joke, but it rubs me the wrong way

How is Scrooge’s hat not floating away?

Della’s reaction to saying fish is how I feel about eating fish

“Look at this stuff, isn’t neat!” THAT’S MY GIRL! I bet The Little Mermaid is Webby’s favorite Disney movie

This was much less dangerous than the last time Webby played hacky sack

Scrooge 100% DONE when they say that he’ll have to give up his worldly possessions

THERE’S THAT ONE MERMAID THAT LOOKS LIKE GOSALYN! I’m gonna pretend they are distantly related

Why is Honestus’ statue so BEEFY?

Louie is ALREADY calling bullshit

NO ONE MAY TOUCH THE DONALD

“Wow, a laid-back society where everything is free. Sounds PERFECT for you!” “It’s too perfect.” I love when Louie and Webby are paired off. They have pretty much opposite views of the world

“IT’S. A. TRAP! And take it down a notch, Beakley!” “Sorry, I was trying to drown out your nonsense.” You’re harshing her vibes, bro

“These hippies are harmless!”

Donald playing drums is adorable

“Operation Flower Power was...groovy.” FIRST THAT SUMMER IN PARAGUAY, NOW THIS! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS! Beakley probably has fucked as many people as Launchpad, possibly more

The face Louie makes after Beakley leaves is great. He knows Beakley fucks and does NOT want to think about that

I want to know all the warnings on the cave. My favorite of the ones I could see was NAAAAAHHHHHHH!

“Those MER-MURDERERS” Alliteration is fun, kids!

Digging the more proactive Louie, even if it is just to keep himself from dying

Donald is digging the vibe and Dewey is SO FOCUSED on playing the drums

FUCK YEAH, ARTS AND CRAFTS! Dewey was like “MY TIME HAS COME!” And Donald seemed pretty happy about arts and crafts too

Donald was TOTALLY checking out his own ass

Dewey is SO FOCUSED. Arts and crafts are SERIOUS BUSINESS

He looks SO PISSED when Scrooge takes the tail

Why do they have toxic markers? Hell, where did they even GET those markers?

“They’re ALL our markers” That face she makes is great

Dude, the harp fucking DRAGGED Honestus! We stan!

“It’s a beautiful castle made of coral and shells...” Webby, those are ruins

I knew that fish monster was Honestus. He had a crown and everything. Also they call him a sea serpent but nothing about him is serpent-like

“This is a chase” Is that really any better than a trap?

BEAKLEY TO THE RESCUE

“I’ve never been happier to see an adult!”

“Same thing we are-snoopin”

Webby ended up being spot on that the Mervanans had no idea what was really going on

“Something is going on here.” And Louie raises his arms in victory

I want more Beakley and Louie episodes. They are both cynical but deal with it in different ways, especially when it comes to Webby. Plus Louie has a unique position when he’s been the one that had secrets kept from him

“Her optimism is her strength!” “You can’t hide the truth from her forever!” “I kept her in a mansion for a decade, that worked out pretty well.” I don’t know why but this reminds me of how the Crystal Gems and Greg dealt with Steven

I love that Huey’s tail has the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook logo on it

Me and my sister agreed that Donald’s tail looks like an Easter egg

DONALD IS OUR LORD AND SAVIOR! NAMASTE, MY FRIEND

Dewey has flames on his tail because of course he does

“Man, these are hard to get around in. And off I go.” He just accepts that he’s falling

I’m with Louie, FUCK STAIRS

Della has that dumbass energy. We stan. Also, she and LP need to hang out. I feel like they’d somehow both lose in a game of Go Fish. Stupid, beautiful pilots :’)

“MOM LOOK AT MY SUPER COOL FINS!” “*gags* I have no family.”

CAPITALISTS DO NOT GET TO KNOW TRUE PEACE

Donald and Huey nodding after Aletheia calls Scrooge a judgemental boomer, beautiful

“I don’t want inner-truth, I want outer harp!” That’s a good line

“Scrooge, back to the arts and crafts section!” And then his face! Golden!

Louie clinging to Beakley’s arm is so cute

I LOVE YOU, HARP LADY!

“But I only tell the truth, a thing the merpeople used to value.” I feel like that could apply to other (current) situations

Whenever Honestus speaks during the song I lol

Also, what hard work was going on above the sea? Was there like a war or something? I need more!

I think the Harp and Honestus were a thing at one point

If the merpeople become more monstrous the longer they stay in the water, why are the ones who have lived their ENTIRE LIVES in the ocean still humanoid? How long was he gone? How many generations have come and gone? Why didn’t he age? I NEED MORE INFORMATION

Poor Webby. The person she trusted the most has been lying to her for who knows how long! I think we know what Webby’s arc for the season will involve

Louie does NOT want to be in the middle of this

MER-MURDER-MAIDS!

I want to PERSONALLY THANK the GENIUS that had David Tennant use hippie slang. You did the lord’s work

The face Scrooge makes when he thinks that they are gonna take his money is PRICELESS

I feel bad for the Mervanans. They were left to fend for themselves. They did pretty good for themselves all things considered but still

Della taking baby steps only to be pushed right back into her comfort zone, I felt that

She’s just like, nope

“Gotta get harp down. Gotta save family. Maybe sell the harp later.” The kid has his priorities straight

The way the Harp acts when Beakley picks her up is a mood and I ship it

“Is that what I sound like? Oh, boy.” I love the way Bobby says “oh, boy”

“We would never!” “Yeah, we’re vegan.” At least these merpeople actually flat out say they don’t eat fish, unlike other merpeople who act all high and mighty even though they probably eat fish too

I love the one dude who just kinda flaps out of the water

“I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.” “CORRECT!”

DUDE, DON’T INSULT THE MAN’S COOKING SKILLS! IT’S YZMA, KRONK, AND THE SPINACH PUFFS ALL OVER AGAIN!

I think Donald is just always angry ala Bruce Banner

Donald is me when someone says the wrong thing to me on an already shitty day

He just slings Dewey over his shoulder and drags Huey. I feel like a family meeting about chili is in their future. Though the Harp didn’t say whether or not Dewey was lying so...

“Our king returned and tried to eat us.” In the words of Zuko; that’s rough, buddy

“We’re all monsters on the inside.” “WE ARE?! GET IT OUT OF ME!” Vero is having a very bad day

“Mervana isn’t a place. It’s, oh boy, it’s in your heart!”

Louie and Webby make each other better and that’s what’s great about their team ups

“We need your inner-truths to move from your hearts to YOUR FISTS!” WEBBY WILL FUCK YOU UP

“WELCOME TO MERVANA” BITCH!

Poor Harp. It’s not her fault that she only has one setting

I WANNA RIDE A MERMAID! No, not that way! ok maybe that way too

Webby’s eyes sparkle when the merpeople get to land

DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH

“TIME TO SEND THIS FISH BACK TO SCHOOL!” Della knows how to one-liner

Her Naruto run is great. I bet she’s been watching it with the kids

Della is gonna wash her leg SO HARD after that

I don’t think Honestus should have gotten off so easy. The dude’s a dick who only cares about himself. I know that wouldn’t mesh with the moral of the episode, but I still hate him

Della looks so fucking confused, like LP usually does. THEY ARE MEANT TO BE BESTIES

Dewey kept his tail. So cute!

“She’s kinda harshin’ my vibe.” I know, my dude, I know

“And it’s finally where it belongs.” “Telling shiftless hippies to get a job!” Scrooge is harshin’ my vibe. Stupid capitalist

The head kiss Beakley gives Webby GIVES ME LIFE! SO PURE

Well of course she’s fibbing! Beakley is/was a SPY! Her job was secret keeping!

I really enjoyed this episode. I, like Webby, ADORE mermaids so I wasn’t gonna complain there. I liked that the merpeople weren’t actually evil because that would have been predictable af. It really ties in with the legacy theme of this season. Just because the people who came before you were jerks doesn’t mean you have to be. I think I enjoyed the other episodes a bit more but that’s probably because they were a bit more focused on a single character and only introduced a few new characters. I give it an 8/10, not enough Launchpad and not NEARLY ENOUGH fish puns

#ducktales #dt spoilers #I think I might ship fethry and vero

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popatochisssp · 6 years

Note

ooh! asks are open! if you're not accepting, don't worry about it! if u are, then how do you hc each skeles ideal job and actual job in the human world?

Their ideal and actual jobs are the same, because I am a softie who wants all her boys to be happy so everybody’s got jobs they enjoy!

As for specifics, I’ve talked about some in passing, but see the full list below! ;3

Sans (Undertale): He has two! He’s a delivery driver and does security for the local mall. The former is a natural extension of his lazy demeanor and special abilities– teleportation lets him make all his deliveries near-instantly and then he spends the rest of the time allotted to him napping in his truck or taking a Grillby’s break. On weekends, he moonlights as a mall cop and it’s equally his speed since it’s a lot of observation and ‘policing’ but very little actual responsibility. He may also, on the side, sell a few bootlegs here and there, but you’d be very hard-pressed to catch him at it.

Papyrus (Undertale): Strip club bouncer. I am one million percent behind this, he would love this job and be loved at this job, and he deserves that. But that’s just his night-job, he has a day-job too since he likes to keep busy and while the sun is up, he’s a personal trainer! He’s fantastic at encouraging people through their work-out routines and they find it easier to stick to their healthy diets and make good choices when the alternative is the horrific thought of………disappointing Papyrus…! He’s very good at his job and has so much fun with it that he barely even thinks of it as a job.

Sky (Underswap Sans): Lots of these skeletons do double-duty and with as much energy as Sky has, you know he’s one of ‘em: he’s a firefighter as his main career, and on the side he bartends. He’s a physically fit guy who loves the idea of being a hero, and he also has no skin or lungs, so he can get into lots of places in a burning building that his human coworkers can’t– and that’s without even factoring in the shortcut ability. But he’s not at the station 24/7 and he likes to be productive, so he picks up bartending shifts where he can. He’s very precise with his pours and he’s very charming and sociable with patrons, so he’s a joy to have on shift for everybody!

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): Only one job for this guy, he’s a librarian! He is a huge literature nerd and the Underground only had what just so happened to fall down and not get completely ruined. Getting to work in a place with thousands of books he’s never seen before is awesome–and so is the actual job! It’s pretty quiet as a rule and the stakes are low, so he ends up liking most of the people he interacts with. A chill work environment for a chill skeleton, he’s very happy here!

Jasper (Underfell Sans): He’s a mechanic, and also moonlights at the infamous ‘dog stand. He likes working with his hands and doesn’t mind getting a little dirty. That plus his intricate knowledge of mechanics makes working at an auto shop a good fit for him. He ends up actually missing a little bit of his routine Underground, though– goddamn nostalgia… When the Asgore in his universe decrees that his subjects who owned shops and food businesses Underground reopen on the surface, a political move to improve human relations and make more positive associations with the very intimidating, violent-looking monsters– he actually decides to go for it and starts manning his ‘dog stand whenever he feels like it. He makes some mean hot-animals and is actually one of the more personable of the Fell-monsters so he’s doing his bridge-building duty pretty well, even if only as a weekend kinda thing.

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): He’s still the Captain of the Royal Guard, but…monsters are making some very strong moves toward demilitarization and in peace-times, there’s just not all that much for him to do. Somewhere in all of his new downtime he takes up studying law and eventually makes a career out of it. Lawyer is kind of a natural job for a guy who’s intelligent, has a great head for details, and doesn’t shy away from an argument, so once he makes it through law school in record time, he’s a sight to behold in the courtroom: eloquent, passionate, and always sharply-dressed! He specializes in human/monster rights-related cases and will even do some pro bono consulting for the causes he deems worthy, but if you can pay his fee and he doesn’t completely loathe you, he’ll take pretty much any case. If he’d been born on the surface to start with, though, he may have pursued a career in acting– he’s has a lot of natural talent and still counts it as one of his interests, but… it’s been soured, just a little bit, by the nasty role he had to play Underground. He’ll probably only pick it up again as a hobby, at most.

Mal (Swapfell Sans): Like Pyre, he doesn’t want to– and won’t!– give up his position as Captain of the Royal Guard so lightly, but on the surface with monsters integrating into peaceful human society, he has a lot more spare time than he did before and has to figure out something to do with it. He eventually settles in as an actuary. Numbers are and have kind of always been his happy-place: mathematics is cold, hard logic, cause-and-effect that’s simple the way nothing in the messy real world ever is, and aside from physical training losing himself in statistics and probabilities is the best sense of flow he’s ever been able to slip into. Once he gets his degrees accredited, it’s very easy for him to find employment running numbers and he’d start off somewhere in the insurance industry. He’d be fine there for awhile– he’s firm and impersonal, and not easily swayed by sob-stories– but eventually the way the industry is structured to benefit corporations over people becomes a little much for even him to handle. From there, he’ll move on into the private sector and do a lot of freelance consulting for companies to analyze and manage risk. It’s very boring and nerdy to just about anyone who isn’t him, but he likes the work!

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): He’s a commission artist. He doesn’t like going out too much and the idea of getting any of the entry-level jobs he’s qualified for–retail and customer service, mostly– makes him want to puke and/or die a little. When he finds out there’s a thriving community of people requesting and paying for art online, he is so there. He takes a little time to get familiar with digital art and generates a presence for himself online to attract interest and then opens himself up to commissions. He has almost no limits on what he’s willing to draw and quickly stumbles across the furry scene, the kink scene, and the places they overlap, so he gets paid really well and gets to work from home while doing it. For the sake of his brother’s reputation, he tries not to mention or show any of the explicit stuff he works on in front of anybody they know, but he’s personally unashamed about it.

Slate (Horrortale Sans): Ever since his head injury, he’s not really capable of holding down a job– his short-term memory is garbage and his ability to learn and process new tasks is a lot slower than any reasonable employer would be understanding of, so that rules out pretty much all his options right there. Since monsters hit the surface in his universe, though, humanity was shocked and appalled by the circumstances Underground and in spite of some fear and condemnation, the outpouring of pity and sympathy was enormous. A lot of legislation ended up quickly pushed through so that monsters could get regular stipends in reparations for their imprisonment and suffering, and also can receive disability benefits if deemed eligible. With a giant hole in his head and all that comes with it, he’s eligible so he doesn’t need a job, but at the insistence of his brother, he does need to get out of the house. His aimless wandering eventually leads him to an animal shelter seeking volunteers. He likes the pups and kitties because they’re soft and cute, plus they’re all down on their luck like he was. He’s very gentle with even the most aggressive animals and after a very short time volunteering there, he gains a bit of a reputation as a miracle worker…but he doesn’t really care about that, he’s just happy to help the little fuzzballs out.

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): Like his brother, he gets a reparations stipend from the human government but unlike his brother, he’s not eligible for disability– nor would he want to be! He craves getting to be a productive member of society again since he…wasn’t of nearly as much use, Underground as he wished he could’ve been. Entry-level jobs would be fine for him, anything to be out and gainfully employed, but he’s rapidly dissatisfied with any of the jobs he takes. He knows that cashiers and clerks and receptionists are all very valuable parts of an infrastructure, but it’s just…not really for him? He wants to make a bigger difference, he wants to help people, and that’s what leads him to nursing. Between his brother’s disability benefits, their reparations, and his wages from part-time employment, he’s able to put himself through school without putting any serious strain on their financial situation and eventually graduates to registered nurse. From his underground experiences he’s no stranger to blood, other human bodily fluids, or even death, so handling it in the context of trying to save lives is something he’s not only capable of, but delighted to be a part of. He’s definitely a little down when one of his patients doesn’t make it, but he’s not devastated by it: he just vows to keep doing his best so that he can help as many people as possible!

#anonymous #headcanons #undertale #sans #papyrus #underswap #us!sans #us!papyrus #underfell #uf!sans #uf!papyrus #swapfell/fellswap #sf!sans #sf!papyrus #horrortale #ht!sans #ht!papyrus

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upfrog · 5 years

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Ready Player One, by Ernest Cline

Since I’m now properly getting into my 2019 reading list, I thought I might stick some reviews of books I’m reading here. So we’ll see how this goes.

This review is spoiler free.

Ready Player One was an adequate piece of science fiction that felt like it's only real reason to exist was to let the author, Ernest Cline, write a copious number of 80′s references. It brushed against a couple of properly interesting topics, but then seemed to deliberately avoid actually using those topics to make the book itself interesting, or even memorable as an exploration of anything beyond how to write a collection of nerd buzzwords for only mildly nerdy people. I don't regret reading it at all, but I doubt I'll read it again unless someone makes a compelling argument that I missed something.

The year is 2045, and human civilization is well into it’s downward spiral. A massive energy crisis has left much of humanity impoverished, and corporate warlords (or to steal a phrase from Neal Stevenson, “equity lords”) appear to control most of the remaining enclaves of relative prosperity. Whatever is left of the national government, at least in the US, appears to be impotent to help the situation. Wade Watts, our protagonist, is like most people of his time in that he has given up all hope in reality, and instead immerses himself in the exciting and prosperous online land of OASIS, a virtual reality massively multiplayer online role playing game that most people seem to consider to be the only world worth living in.

In this digital realm, Wade is a Gunter, a player who has dedicated themselves to solving a massive puzzle posthumously left by the eccentric creator of the game, James Halliday. The first person to solve the puzzle (which consists of finding several keys, and using them to unlock various challenges) is set to receive the entirety of Halliday’s estate, including several hundred billion dollars, and complete control over OASIS. Solving this puzzle requires an obsessive knowledge of Halliday’s interests, which seem to almost exclusively revolve around nerdy 80′s pop culture: video games, cult classic movies, music, sitcoms, the whole nine yards. In their attempt to solve this puzzle, the Gunters become experts on Halliday, his personal life, and every piece of pop culture he ever hinted that he enjoyed.

All good so far, right? Right! It’s an interesting enough premise, and if you’re into retro video games and trivia, you may really enjoy it’s execution. For my part, 8 years ago I bet I would have loved this book, but nowadays I’m less into all the 80′s culture, so the book didn’t have that crutch to help my opinion of it. This is a shame, because the book needed that crutch.

The first problem is that Wade rarely feels genuinely challenged. Much of his struggle takes place “off screen”, and once it’s brought back on screen, he starts succeeding at almost everything. Set backs are rare, and when they occur, the book never really treats them as having any weight behind them. Part of this can be blamed on the virtual setting; after all, part of the point of a video game is that if you die in the game, you don’t die in real life, which does make the consequences for failure less severe by default. However, I think that the setbacks could still have been meaningful if the author had wanted them to be, which I’m not sure he did. That is of course his prerogative, but the book was left weaker for it.

The second problem, which I consider more serious, is that the book seems to avoid it’s own most interesting parts. Virtual reality is an interesting and increasingly relevant theme, as is the idea of people abandoning reality in favor of a cleaner, happier, more prosperous virtual reality. The book establishes that many in it’s world live their real lives within OASIS, with the physical reality more of an unwelcome chore than anything else. It then fails to follow up on this theme in any meaningful way. The book also touches briefly on the social impacts of being able to decouple the real “you” and the virtual “you”, the latter of which is often more important in the book’s world, but it never goes anywhere with it. Heck, the Gunters are in many ways a budding religious order; had Cline chosen to focus on that idea, I think he could have written some interesting material around the idea of the construction of deities. But this too is not explored. Every theme that could have made the book interesting was briefly mentioned, if it was included at all, and then dropped.

Personally, I didn’t really find Cline’s writing very effective. It didn’t pull me in particularly, and I wasn’t left with any particularly good imagery. That said, I find David Weber’s writing style riveting, so maybe I’m just weird. But while it wasn’t exceptionally effective, I didn’t have any real problems with it, and had some fairly good foreshadowing. Not necessarily subtle, but well executed, and it does a lot to make the world feel real, like something vast that we are only seeing through a small window. So what do we see when we look through that window?

We see 80′s references of all sorts. If that’s your thing, this book will probably be bumped up several notches in your esteem. But once again, it didn’t do anything very conceptually interesting with all of it’s pop culture. The 80′s references could have been replaced with 90′s references, or 00′s references, and had little effect on the story. Just change the names around, and re-write the details of some of the puzzles. Even in-universe, it appears that the only reason that Halliday chose the 1980′s was his own nostalgia. For my part, the 80′s references started to feel pretty tired before I was a quarter of the way through the book, though they never got the point where I found them annoying.

What was somewhat annoying was the way that Cline discussed his references. Many of the things he wrote into his world are relatively obscure; cult classics on the Atari 2600, box office flops, things that in the modern day have a presence in two main cultural groups: the people who were kids when the reference was first relevant, and nerds who have found themselves smitten with this piece of retro culture, and have adopted it as their own in the modern day. You will note that these two groups are by no means mutually exclusive. But Cline writes his references as if he is trying to put them in terms that people not in either of these groups can easily understand. This is an understandable decision, as he presumably wanted his book to be appealing to people other than nerds, but the result is that some of the book feels at times like it was written by an outsider trying to write about these in-jokes. One minor example is how every creative process that led to the world of OASIS is referred to as being programming. Technically accurate perhaps, but it feels like Cline is afraid that he’ll scare off the normies if he refers to, say, animation, or concept art. Another minor frustration is that OASIS has a fairly typical case of Fictional Video Game Syndrome, where everything in the game is named to make it sound gamer-y to non gamers, with the result that it sounds extremely fake to people who actually play video games.

Admittedly, minor frustrations with how the book’s references are handled are, well, minor. But when a book feels like it raison dêtre is to have a bunch of pop culture references, it becomes harder to excuse failure in the delivery of these references. But aside from this relatively minor annoyance, the references were handled fairly well. While it is clear that the book mainly exists as a house for these references, they always stay in keeping with the rest of the world. Various classic video games are brought up and discussed in a story-appropriate manner, and they don’t feel shoehorned in.

I realize that I’ve just spent a silly number of words talking about all the things I didn’t like about the book, but at the end of the day I really don’t mind it. I read it, and I enjoyed it while I read it. I feel no need to read it again, or to watch the movie, or read any of Cline’s other works, but the book was certainly not bad. I’d recommend it to anyone who secretly wishes they could have been born in time to experience the 80′s in person, or to readers who are getting their feet wet with science fiction. It may also be good for readers who have trouble getting into most books, but connect readily to the digital world. For others, I wouldn’t steer you away from the book, but I wouldn’t recommend it either, unless you liked the sound of what you just read.

This is not exactly a popular blog, so I’m not really guessing that anyone will read this. In case someone does, feel free to leave any feedback you may have, and if you want to talk about the book, hit me up!

#book review #Ready Player One #Ernest Cline #review #book #literature #2019 reading list

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seokjinsonlyone-main · 7 years

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Renaissance

this is the photography!harry piece based off of this request:

hello! can you do where harry is a photographer and he needs a model for an upcoming project or something so he asks y/n since he couldn’t find anyone. and during that process, both developed feelings towards one another.

Y/N liked to sit alone in the dining room. She didn't like to watch people eat or have others watch her eat. And, she definitely wasn't a fan of small talk. Or talking at all. She didn't like it because she wasn't good at it. She wasn't good at it because she didn't do it. She didn't do it because she didn't like it. It was a vicious cycle, really.

This wasn't to say that she didn't have any friends because she did. Those who bothered to stick it out past her social awkwardness and the unnecessarily high walls she built around herself usually were there for life. Said friends, however, refused to wait for her to get out of class and went to eat somewhere else without her. Since she didn't have a car she was left to fend for herself in the dining room. Which she didn't mind as long as she was left alone.

Apparently Harry Styles didn't get the memo. He was this real sweet kid she saw around in the arts department a lot. They were both fine arts majors, but she specialised in painting and sketching while he specialised in photography. In their first couple years they had a few general ed classes together, so she was friendly whenever they came into contact with each other but they weren't friends. That was why his sudden presence at her table was so perplexing. They were wave from across the hall close not sit with each other at lunch close. She looked up from her plate, slowly finishing a mouthful of carbonara, eyeing him suspiciously. "How... may I help you?"

He flashed a big, bright smile at her which was honestly a bit off-putting. "How are you doing, beautiful?"

"I'm fine... just, ya know, trying to get some ATP." He looked at her with a blank expression. "Adenosine triphosphate... Like, cellular energy... that comes from– ya know what? Never mind. I'm a nerd. Why are you trying to butter me up?"

He sighed. "I know we don't talk often." She raised an eyebrow at him. "...Or, at all, but I need to ask you for a favour."

She patted around her mouth with a napkin in an attempt to stall time. She wondered why he couldn't ask one of the other million people he knew. Why did it have to be her? Why couldn't her friends have waited for her to get out of class? She figured hearing him out wouldn't be the worst thing ever, though. "Well, I can't guarantee I'll do it, but what is it?"

"I'm working on a project, and I need a model. My last one flaked out on me."

Her eyebrows drew together. "Why?"

"She found out I wasn't paying," he pouted.

She puckered her lips. "Oh. Sorry."

"It's fine. Anyway, I'm doing, like, a modern recreation of renaissance art. And, I really really really need your help."

She squinted her eyes at him. There had to be something he wasn't telling her. She was more than certain that he could convince any other girl to model for him. She knew at least three girls who had a legitimate crush on him, five girls who wanted to get in his pants, and really any living creature could be charmed into doing it once he batted his eyes in their direction. The dude was beautiful. "What aren't you telling me, Styles?"

He winced at the question before blowing raspberries into the air. "Are you... familiar with... The Birth of Venus and Venus of Urbino?"

"Of course I am," she responded immediately. When he didn't say anything, she thought back over what he just asked her until the gears in her brain were fully turning. Her eyes widened. "You want me to pose nude?" she whisper shouted.

"You wouldn't actually be showing anything!"

"People would be able to see my face! And, I'd be showing everything else. It ain't that hard to connect the dots. No, absolutely not," she said, shaking her head.

"I could crop the picture at your neck!" he bargained.

"Venus of Urbino is lying down!"

"I can figure something out! Please."

"Harry..." she sighed thoroughly exasperated. She wished he would let it go and move onto another person. "I know a bunch of girls who would willingly throw their clothes at you. Why me?"

"For that exact reason. I don't want someone who wants to get in my pants. I want someone who's as serious about art as I am, and honestly you're just about the most passionate person I know. I always see you in the studio hours after everyone else has gone back to their dorms. Plus, you have a 4.0, and I think that's, like, the coolest thing ever. I'd really like to collaborate with you."

His confession stunned her. She always thought she slipped under everyone's radar. Not that she was trying to, she just got so into her work that she didn't really make time for anyone else. And, in her classes that didn't require studio work she usually preferred keeping to herself. It wasn't that she straight up ignored people, she just didn't go out of her way to make friends. It was better that way. People came and people went. It minimised the damage. She figured that people saw her the same way she saw herself. "Well, alright," she shrugged.

"Really? I asked your friends and they said you probably wouldn't do it. I had four other bullet points to try to convince you and a backup plan that I was fully prepared to use," he said, ending with his jaw slightly dropped in a state of disbelief.

"First of all, don't talk to Niall and Louis about me. They're knobs. I would know. They're my friends. Second, I agreed because you seem to have some sort of vision. A lot of people ask me for my help and want me to do all their work for them." She smiled tightly at him wanting this whole exchange to be over with, so she could come to terms with what she agreed to.

"You don't have to worry about that with me," he replied, smiling brightly, suddenly getting super excited. "Oh my god, I can't believe you said yes!" He rounded the table and pulled her into a hug.

She immediately seized up in his arms. She didn't mind hugs, but she usually saw the moment coming and was therefore prepared to lean in. He quite literally picked her up out of the chair. She could feel eyes burning holes into the back of her neck. "Okay, okay. You're welcome. Please put me down," she mumbled into his neck.

"Let me get your number!" he chirped, handing her his phone.

She input her number, then called her phone so she would have his number in return. "Just... text me whenever you're ready to…do this whole thing."

"I will, and thank you so much again." He kissed her on the cheek before making his way out of the dining room, enormous grin still plastered on his face.

Her heart skipped a beat and her entire face flushed at the action, as she brought her hand to the area his lips had been pressed to. She immediately fled the room, not wanting anyone who she was friendly with to question her about what just happened,leaving her wondering what she just got herself into. --- She clutched her bag tightly as she checked the time on her phone for the fifth time in the past minute. He was five minutes late, and she was considering going back into her dorm. That was, until she saw him running toward her, gasping.

She let out a sigh of relief and irritation. "You're late."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry, just–" He held out his finger, asking for a minute, bent over gasping for air. "I was setting everything up and lost track of time."

She decided to forgive him this time. "It's okay, I suppose. Just... don't let it happen again, please." She stared at him finally regaining his posture. The building wasn't that far away. He looked fit, but she guessed he wasn't as in shape as he appeared.

"Why exactly do you need an escort to a building that's like a ten minute walk away? You can literally see it from here, and there are street lamps."

"Yes, because street lamps deter crime,"she said, rolling her eyes and nodded her head toward the path so they could start moving. After they had been walking for a minute or so, she answered his question. "I may be feisty, but I'm still a princess, Harold. I have a general distrust for the human population, and I refuse to be another statistic. That is why I'm on a first name basis with at least eight security guards and the escort service has my schedule posted and my number on speed dial. It's a service I've used liberally ever since I've been a student here. That's actually how I met Niall."

"Then why didn't you call him?"

"Because you're a nice, tall, fairly built guy who I'm practically posing nude for. Figured it's the least you could do. Also, I didn't tell them I agreed to do it. They're absolute pests with big mouths."

He shrugged his shoulders, releasing a chuckle. "Fair enough. By the way, my name isn't Harold."

"Hmmm..." she murmured mindlessly, "Guess you have a new nickname then." They spent the rest of the walk in relative silence which she was grateful for. She knew she agreed to do this and she wasn't going to back out on him, but she was nervous. She'd never done anything like this before and she hadn't planned on doing it ever... in her life. She hoped to god that he actually did come up with something. She let her thoughts consume her so much so that she didn't realise they arrived at the building until Harry gently touched the small of her back causing her to jump back like she'd been shocked.

"Sorry." He motioned for her to follow him, holding open the door to the studio art building. "I understand why you need escorts. You zone way out."

She shrugged in return. "So, have you found out a way to– ugh..." she cut herself off when she noticed the sign saying that the elevator was out of order. She was going to have to walk up six flights of stairs. She guessed that's why he was so out of breath when he came to get her. "Anyway, I was wondering if you found a way to shoot me less... naked?"

"I actually have."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm. I'll show you when we get upstairs."

She nodded as relief flooded her veins. She spent the next few minutes focusing on pacing herself as they climbed up the stairs. She didn't want him to see how winded she could get when she reached the top. Her asthma didn't help the situation. Once they reached the top (with minimal wheezing), she thought about how un-awkward she felt standing next to him, walking down the hall. Whenever she was around people she didn't know that well or at all, she always found it extremely awkward and didn't know how to carry herself. Don't get her wrong she felt awkward, but nowhere near as much as she usually did.

It may have been because of the few text messages they exchanged during the week or the fact that he specifically sought her out and begged for her to work with him, but she didn't feel her usual level of discontent around him. It was weird. She didn't notice she almost walked past the room until she stumbled backwards, caused by Harry's sudden grip on her hand.

"Seriously, you pay dangerously little attention to your surroundings." She shrugged as he held the door open for her. He had some finished photos hanging on a clothes line, but before she could check them out he cleared his throat. "So, we have two options for the shoot." He was holding up a skin toned body suit in one hand and a skin toned bra and panty set in the other. She slowly walked toward him. "Whichever one you prefer is fine with me."

She eyed them cautiously then took the body suit. She was about to go get changed before a thought struck her. "Wait, which one do you prefer?"

He shook his head. "I just want you to be comfortable."

"I'm never comfortable. I live in a constant state of awkwardness, but I know you have a vision for this thing. What do you want me to wear?"

He rolled his lips together. "I think the more skin showing the better. Like, they celebrated the body back then, and if you had the, um," he coughed, "the bra and, um, panties... it would be easier to catch the more feminine lines of your body." He gently skated his hand up her side in demonstration and admiration and she nearly melted inside.

She nodded her head furiously, sending him a tight smile and going to change into the two piece. "Then that's what I'll do, innit?" She exhaled heavily once she was behind the partition he had set up. Generally speaking, she strayed from physical contact. It made her uncomfortable because people made her uncomfortable. She didn't trust many, so touches were few and far between. Never would she have imagined something to send shivers down her spine in the glorious way Harry's touch did.

When Y/N stepped out from behind the partition, she looked around the room in search for him. She found him fiddling with his camera and tripod, so she cleared her throat to make her presence known. He didn't know how to react when his gaze landed upon her. The most he could manage was opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water. "I know I don't have, like, the best–"

"You're beautiful," he blurted.

She could feel the heat racing to her cheeks. She was at a loss for how to respond, but she knew continuing to stand there in way less clothes than she was used to wasn't working for her. "So... The Birth of Venus, yeah?" --- After she changed back into her clothes, she wasn't sure what to do. One of the little voices in her head was telling her to bolt due to some leftover embarrassment from being half naked with him. Another voice was telling her to at least see if he needed anything else before leaving. She decided to listen to the latter. After all, it hadn't been that bad. She had to give Harry credit. He was extremely professional and made her comfort his top priority. She made her way out from behind the changing screen and shuffled over to him. "Ummm... I was just gonna..." she pointed to the door, "unless you needed anything else?"

He directed his attention away from the monitor which she assumed held the shots he'd just taken. He pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth. "I know I said I just wanted you to model for me, but, uh, could you take a look at some of the other photos for this?"

"Sure..." she agreed. He pulled up a chair next to his in front of the computer screen. "I can just... click through?" He nodded and she began carefully studying each photograph, happy to be in her comfort zone once again.

Photography might not have been her forte, but she took a semester of art history and was an artist herself. It was sort of a happy medium for her. She couldn't help noticing Harry in her periphery, toying with his lip, taking turns looking between her and his pictures. She took pride in the sense of humility she drowned herself in, but the pictures he took of her were her favourite. One was of her grabbing a robe. He scanned it into another picture he took of a bathroom so it looked like she was getting out of the shower. The window in the bathroom was open and he had a fan blowing during the shoot, so it looked like the wig she had on was being blown in the wind. She knew it wasn't finished, and it was quite simple but also very intriguing considering the painting it was based on. The other was of her laying down on a couch messing about on her phone. It wasn't as symbolic as the first, but she loved the way he played with the lighting. It looked good. She snuck a glance at him when she was sure he wasn't looking directly at her and couldn't help thinking that he looked better than all of his work. She got lost in her thoughts, as per usual, and accidentally locked eyes with him, then coughed to cover it up. "These are great, Harold."

His lips quirked up in a timid smile. "Thank you."

"There is one, though, that needs a bit of editing."

His smile turned into a pout. "Which one?"

"The knock off Raphael."

"Hey," he whined.

"You know what I mean." She clicked through the profile until she got to his interpretation of The School of Athens. "Just, like, the perspective is kinda wrong."

"What do you mean?" he asked, inspecting the photo, obviously not seeing what she was.

"Well, like, that's kind of the main point of this picture. Like, that's why it was so famous. Your detail and everything is impeccable, but the thing that made the original so great was the fact that it has a single focal point ranging from the arch and that's where everything's placement stems from."

He cursed under his breath, slightly panicking. "I don't know what I'm going to do. The assignment is due at the end of the week."

She kinda wanted to leave. She felt bad that she essentially ruined one of his shots. The tension was making her sweat. "Can't you just... fix it?"

He ran his hands through his hair. "I usually prefer not to edit my photos. I have no idea how to photoshop on the level it would take to fix this entire shot."

She stayed silent, yet another war waging in her head. She could help him with it, but that meant she'd have to spend even more time with him and she had these sudden feelings swirling about in her stomach that were making her feel. It was weird. Still, she blurted out, "I can," without the consent of her brain.

"You can?"

She shrugged, trying to play it cool, "I minor in digital art. I've taken quite a few photoshop classes."

He pulled her out of the chair and into his arms, hugging her tightly. "You are a lifesaver. Oh my god. Thank you so much." She wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so... I could kiss you right now."

It scared her how much she wanted him to. --- Y/N was alone in the studio department for the first time in over a week. She'd given up quite a few of her extended hours in favour of helping Harry complete his project. She spent the past couple of days working with him to edit his photos and showing him how to photoshop for future reference. After spending so much time with him, she was finding it even more difficult to focus than it usually was. Her mind was riddled with thoughts of him. Every time she got in a groove, she would think about how he nuzzled his face in her neck when they hugged, or how he smelled lightly of mangoes from the body wash he used or how he could only stand the silence she needed to work efficiently in for so long and would start humming, or how he walked her back to her dorm each time they met up and would make sure to have her on call, making dumb jokes, talking about any and everything, the entire time he walked back to his dorm, as per her request so she could know he was safe. It was a little disconcerting.

She didn't get this way. It was rare for her to get crushes. She didn't even need a whole hand to count the number of people she had feelings for in her entire life. She was okay with that. More than okay. It allowed her to throw herself into her work, yet she had been mixing the same two colours together in her palette for the last ten minutes. An unexpected knock on the door made her drop her paintbrush on the floor. She whipped her head around, finding the curly headed boy she'd been assisting to be the culprit. "You scared me," she breathed out.

"That's nothing new," he chuckled. "Why are you here so late and so jumpy?"

"Uh, I have extended hours because of my ADD. They let me use it after everyone's gone to get work done."

"Ahhh..." he said walking towards her with his hands stuffed in his pockets. "I didn't know you had ADD. Is that why you're really jumpy, too?"

She shook her head. "That would be the anxiety induced paranoia."

"How come you don't just come in earlier, so you won't have to be here so late?"

"I mean... to be honest, I'd rather die," she deadpanned.

He burst into this loud, squawky cackle that made her heart skip a beat simply because she was the one who caused it. He sucked his lip in between his teeth once he regained his composure. "I'm not, like, disturbing you am I?"

She shook her head again. "Nah. I haven't been very productive today."

"Because of the ADD?"

It wasn't, but she couldn't tell him it was because she couldn't get him off her mind. "No, actually, I've just been... having a problem with the colour scheme." It wasn't a lie either. She thought she was going to do this particular piece in a black and white monochromatic style, but she found herself trying to recreate the exact colour of his eyes.

"Ahhh... well, I saw the light on and figured it was you. I wanted to let you know that I submitted the pictures."

"Yeah?" she smiled and he nodded. "You'll have to let me know how you do, although I'm sure you're going to ace it."

"Fingers crossed," he replied and the two were left in an awkward silence. Neither one of them knew what to say or do next. "Well, I'm just gonna..." he nodded his head toward the door, but didn't exactly make a move.

She didn't want him to leave, but couldn't bring herself to let him know that. Instead, she waved timidly at him, mentally face palming herself.

"Alright then, I'll... see you. Have a good night."

He started walking away, and disappointment flooded her system. She turned back to her work space, wanting to begin painting once more, but it was like her brain could not process anything other than the fact that Harry was walking away. "Actually, can you..." she blurted, whole face scrunching up, then turned to face him to see he was seconds away from being out the door but stopped once she called out to him. "Umm... if you don't mind, could you– maybe– help me with this? Just, I've been looking at these for so long I think I need a second opinion.

"Sure." He smiled brightly, agreeing immediately.

It made her wonder if he was looking for a reason to stay, as well. She sighed before fetching the other pieces of her collection. She was completing the last one. "I was going to do this one in black and white, but now I'm not so sure. Like, I want it to have colour, but I don't want it to be in full colour." She launched into the entire concept of the collection she had created probably giving way too many details, but she couldn't help it. Once she got talking on something she liked, there was no stopping her. She noticed how intently he listened to her even though she was rambling. It was beyond endearing.

When she shut up, he slid behind her pressing his front flush against her back. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah," she croaked, twisting her neck to look directly at him.

He skated his hand down her arm pointing out possible spots that she could add pops of colour to, but in all honesty she didn't hear a word he said. She was too focused on how she could feel each breath he took against her back and how pinpricks of electricity shot through her whenever his hand grazed hers. Not to mention the fact that she never actually stopped looking at him. The shape of his mouth as he talked art to her was overwhelming and she catalogued the colour of his lips into her mind because she wanted to add that to her painting too. "Y/N?"

"Hmmm...?" She was still caught up in memorising the planes of his face, so she didn't actually process what he was saying.

He looked down at her with a slight smirk on his face. "You didn't hear a word I said, did you?"

"Uh uh," she mumbled.

He turned her around in his arms so she was facing him and slid his hands down to her hips, pulling her flush against him once more. "Is this okay?"

"Mhm." Her breathing was getting tight as they stared at one another. She slid her hands up his chest, resting one on his shoulder and using the other to cup his jaw.

He leaned into her touch, nearly purring at the gentle way she handled him. He rested his forehead against hers. "Can I kiss you?"

Her throat dried up. She tried to say something but ended up just nodding, not being able to form words. He bumped her nose with his, stalling, savouring the moment, feeling their breath intermingling. Her heart was beating out of her chest and just as she was about to lean in sealing their lips together Louis burst into the room.

"Oi! Oi! It's 11:30, loser!" he yelled. They jumped back from each other immediately. "Why'd you tell me to come get you if he was going to be here?" he said, a couple seconds later when he spotted Harry. Both of them were too shaken up to respond. Louis looked between the two of them suspiciously. "Did I... interrupt something?"

Y/N snapped out of the haze she'd been trapped in ever since Harry walked in the room, hustling to place her paintings back on the rack. "No, no. He was just giving me a second opinion. I'm ready."

He raised his eyebrows at her, still eyeing them. "You sure?"

She nodded, scrambling to get the rest of her stuff in her bag. She began following him out the room before she remembered that Harry actually was still there, rubbing his thumb over his lips, trying to come to terms with what almost happened. "Just give me a second, yeah?"

He rolled her eyes at her, but made his way outside the room nonetheless. She rushed over to Harry, rolled up on her tip toes, and pecked him on the lips before she lost her nerve. "Text me when you get home, so I know you're safe, okay?"

"Okay," he replied dumbfounded.

She shot him a smile and walked out of the room. She breathed out a sigh of relief when she made it into the hallway. "Harry Styles, huh?" Louis prodded, waggling his eyebrows at her.

"Shut up," she chided.

"I can't wait to tell Niall." --- Exhausted wasn't the word to describe Y/N. She had to pull a couple all nighters, so her collection could be submitted on time. It was worth it, though. She was more than satisfied with how everything turned out. She was even more satisfied with the fact that she could take a nap guilt free, which was exactly what she planned to do until she heard knocking on her door. She contemplated ignoring it, but the knocks wouldn't stop so she reluctantly peeled herself away from her bed. She gained a little more energy when she saw that it was Harry on the other side of the door, smiling from ear to ear.

She coerced herself into hyperfocus to finish her work, so she hadn't really seen him except in passing since the night he submitted his photos. Admittedly it had only been two days, but they kind of left things on something like a cliffhanger. "Harry,what are you doing here?"

"I got an A on my project."

"Get out!"

"And my professor liked them so much that she submitted them to the art show and I'm up for an award now."

She launched herself at him. "Oh my god. I'm so happy for you!"

He giggled. "I couldn't have done it without you." He nuzzled his face in her neck and they became entranced into the same reality that overtook them the other night. The reality where they were the only two people that existed, that mattered. It was only her and him. He pulled back just enough so that he was able to hold her face in both his hands, brushing his thumbs acrossthe apples of her cheeks. "Can I kiss you?"

"Please," she whimpered.

He leaned back in and enveloped her lips with his, suckling lightly on her top lip before running his tongue across its crease silently asking for entrance. She followed suit immediately, letting him lick into her mouth at a tender pace, leaving her breathless, wanting more when he pulled away. "Let me take you out," he implored, voice barely above a whisper.

"You wanna take me out?" she inquired, catching her breath.

He nodded. "You're just about the coolest person I know. I've been crushing on you for forever. Let me take you out."

The butterflies in her stomach fluttered wildly. "Okay."

919 notes · View notes

eternalstereksecretsanta · 7 years

Text

You Can Keep Pushing (I'll Keep Pulling You Back)

@uzercalo | AO3 | Honestly, I battled with writers block for this one, I’ve had a tough few months with this and the ideas were just simmering in my head for too long, but I finally finished and I’m definitely debating adding more after the holidays when I have more time. Merry Christmas love!

In which Kate failed, the sheriff is awesome, Derek loves his family even when they annoy him, and Stiles is unofficially adopted because he’s awesome. Derek has too many feelings and he’s scared of them, but maybe Stiles can knock some sense into him before long.

Derek felt the blanket being placed over his shoulders, but couldn’t find the energy to move. He could hear his mother’s voice, but it was muffled as if he were underwater. He caught little snippets, little words. Charges. Arson. Prison. He felt someone sit down beside him, recognized the scent of his dad’s aftershave, and wiggled closer to him. He buried his face in his dad’s neck in a way he hadn’t done since he was much smaller. …………… “Talia, there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“I’m telling you that it’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“Someone just tried to kill your whole family, spitting and yelling about how you’re monsters. I think it’s something I need to worry about.”

“She’s obviously insane.”

“You ran back into the house to save Cora’s art project and came out without a scratch.”

“Just lucky I guess.”

“Bullshit.” Talia froze. John was usually mild mannered, ever the diplomat of the town ensuring everyone was happy and healthy as much as he could. She’d never even heard the man curse before now.

“You know, I’m not quite so blind as I pretend. I’ve noticed that there’s something different about your family.”

“And what do you plan to do about it?” she asked, her voice cool.

“I plan to find out what’s going on. Someone just launched an attack on you. I see that as an attack to the town and it’s my job to keep the town safe. So either you talk to me and tell me what’s going on, or I’m going to figure it out for myself.” She considered that. He had a point. He’d already proven his trustworthiness to the people of Beacon Hills over and over, and he didn’t have a malicious bone in his body. It would be good to have someone in the department who knew what was going on. He was a good man; his heart was steady.

“Werewolves.” Quick and painless had always been her preferred course of action.

“What?”

“We’re werewolves,” she said, “not all of us, obviously.”

“Oh, obviously.”

“I’m serious, John. I’m trusting you with our family secret. That’s why Argent tried to kill us. She’s a hunter.”

“A hunter.”

“Except hunters are supposed to follow a code. They’re supposed to only hunt those who hunt others.”

“I think I’m going to need a very strong drink for this. And I think you’re going to have to start at the beginning and tell me everything.”

“I happen to have time.”

……………

Derek’s dad had to leave. Derek’s little siblings had to go to bed and they needed a hotel room for the night. His mom was still here though, so he couldn’t leave. A much smaller body that didn’t smell like wolf sat down next to him.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Derek didn’t move.

“He only closes the door when it’s really bad,” the boy continued, his voice equal parts awed and cautious.

“Why aren’t you going with the rest of your family?” Derek wished he’d shut up. “You’re not much of a talker, are you?” No, he wasn’t.

“That’s okay. I can talk enough for the both of us.” Damn it. The kid launched into a rambling description about how maple syrup was made and how cats were domesticated and a million other things that Derek wasn’t listening to. He talked fast too, so Derek had a hard time keeping up with one topic and then he was leaping to another. It was kind of soothing though, not having to respond. The boy moved closer, probably without realizing it. He was human, and seemed to be a little on the too thin side of a growth spurt. He was warm though, feeling small and fragile to Derek.

Derek barely noticed when silence fell on them. He wasn’t sure how long it had been quiet, but he couldn’t help wondering if the kid had run out of things to say. He looked over and found him to be asleep. His cheek was resting on Derek’s shoulder, his lips parted ever so slightly. He looked away again when he heard the sheriff’s door open, watching as his mother and the sheriff stepped out. Talia brushed her fingers through his hair comfortingly while the sheriff sighed and gave the kid a fond look.

“Sorry my son fell asleep on you,” he said, giving Derek a little grin. “He does that sometimes.” He reached down and squeezed the boy’s shoulder, rousing him just enough to help him move to the couch inside of his office.

“Some on, let’s go catch up with the others,” his mom said. He went with her, letting her hold him close as they walked.

……………

“Derek!”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say!” Derek should have let him go to voicemail.

“I know you though, so I know you’re going to ask me for something.”

“Well geez, ask a guy for a piggyback a few times and suddenly it’s all ‘the answer is always no!’” The answer was always no. But he always gave in anyway.

“Stiles.”

“You don’t know I was going to ask for something.” He did know he was going to ask for something.

“Yes I do.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Really?” There was a pause.

“Okay, maybe I was going to ask for something.”

“No.”

“Oh come on! I just need a ride! My Jeep is in the shop!”

“Again? You realize that you need more than duct tape to hold it together right?”

“Shut up.”

“I wish you’d let me help. Then I wouldn’t have to give you rides anymore.”

“Please, you love my company.” He did.

“Look, it’s just to that new restaurant opening up tomorrow.”

“The pizza place?”

“Yeah, that one. I wanted to go.”

“Okay, we’ll go.”

“Wait, what?”

“We’ll go. I’ll take you. But you’re buying.” Derek was such a sucker. He couldn’t say no to Stiles and it was going to blow up in his face someday.

“Awesome! Just pick me up whenever you wanna go!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Thanks Derek! You’re the best!”

……………

“You have pizza sauce on your cheek.” Stiles looked up, wiping his napkin over his cheek and lifting an eyebrow.

“Did I get it?” Derek rolled his eyes, reaching out and wiping his own napkin on Stiles’ cheek to get the sauce.

“There,” he said, chuckling. Stiles blushed, ducking his head down. Derek felt the tips of his ears turning bright red and looked to his own plate as if it would hide him. Stiles took a moment to pull himself together, licking his lips.

“So, have you picked a college yet?” he asked. Derek had taken enough classes to defer for a semester, which Stiles was grateful for. He would miss him when he was actually gone. He wouldn’t stop going to the Hale house, of course. He enjoyed spending time with all the Hales and Talia elected him as head babysitter for the little ones. But Derek was usually there too, and he was good company. He didn’t complain about Stiles’ commentary when they watched movies and they talked about books because Derek was a nerd and Derek made the best chocolate chip cookies every time Stiles came over to help babysit.

“Not yet,” Derek sighed, shaking his head. “I narrowed the list down though. I’m debating Mendocino, Colombia, and Shasta. They’re not too far away if I need to come home.” The thought of being away from his pack still stressed him out. He wanted to stay relatively close just in case he missed everyone too much. Being away from Stiles would stress him out too, but he knew the boy would probably call him and text him all the time, just like he did now.

“That’s good,” Stiles said. “And you’ll be home every holiday?”

“Of course,” he laughed. He would be home whenever possible. Stiles nodded.

“That’s good, because my dad usually works holidays and Scott is going to be visiting family over spring break, and my dad will be working a lot of extra shifts to keep hooligan mischief down to a minimum. So I was planning on spending my days with your family,” he told Derek.

“You like being in a crowded house where there’s so many people talking over each other that you can’t even hear yourself think?” Derek teased.

“I like being surrounded by people who care about me, regardless of how loud they are,” Stiles said, chuckling softly. Derek couldn’t argue with that.

“Well, then you’ll be pleased to know that I am, in fact, going to be home.”

“What, no spring break parties for you?” Stiles asked, his eyes glinting mischievously.

“I have no desire to run around going to overcrowded places jam packed with people who are drunk and smell like sweat and booze.”

“Well when you put it like that.” Derek snorted. “Oh stop that. You know I wouldn’t be going to any parties either.”

“Exactly.”

“Yeah, yeah. Stop being so smug or I’m going to steal your room while you’re gone.”

……………

“I think I figured it out.”

“I’m going to regret this. What did you figure out?”

“Why I’m single.”

“Is it because your ideal date is someone buying you curly fries?”

“Shut up. It’s because the person most perfect in the world for me is unobtainable.”

“What?”

“Yeah. It makes so much sense. It’s like I’m meant to be with this person and the universe is making me wait to be with them because when we get together it’s going to be absolutely amazing. It’s gonna be perfect. So it’s gotta build up to that, right? So that it’ll be ten times better than just meeting someone amazing.”

“You’re insane.”

“Insanely right.” Derek just laughed and shook his head, reaching over to ruffle Stiles’ hair just because he knew it would irk him. He’d finally grown it out past the buzz cut and figured out how to style it. True to expectations, Stiles squawked indignantly and batted Derek’s hand away.

“I’m going to tell your mom that you’re being mean to me.”

“Stiles, I’m twenty-one.”

“Not for another week you’re not. And that doesn’t mean she won’t give me your dessert.”

“You’re a few months from being a legal adult.”

“Still a child in the eyes of the law,” Stiles teased, draping himself over Derek’s back. Derek continued with his book, hiding his smile.

“I’m just a fragile little human in need of protection.” Derek snorted.

“You need to be protected from yourself. You’re more at risk of knocking yourself out by running into a door than anything else.”

“Wow, rude.”

“The truth hurts.”

“Your face hurts.”

“What?”

“And it’s killing me.”

“Again, what?”

“I don’t know,” Stiles laughed. He leaned his cheek against Derek’s shoulder, clearly content to stay that way. Derek Didn’t mind. He lost track of time as he read, only looking up at the clock when he heard Stiles start snoring. He was still sprawled on top of Derek, his arms draped around Derek’s neck, his face now tucked into the crook of Derek’s neck. He was a warm weight on him, soft and smelling of cinnamon and sweetness while he slept. The usual bitter twinge of anxiousness in his scent was gone. He still had the slight trace of Adderall, but it was muted, soon to be gone as it was time for another dose. Derek knew he hadn’t been resting well, with midterms and college applications looming over him. He didn’t mind letting Stiles rest on him.

“You should tell him.” Derek was snapped out of his thoughts to find Laura leaning against the doorframe.

“Tell him what? That his bed is elsewhere?”

“That you love him, dumbass. That he’s your mate,” Laura huffed, rolling her eyes. Derek glared.

“He’s going to find out eventually,” she added.

“I’m not dragging him into our world.”

“Der, he’s already in it. He just doesn’t know it. That’s ten times more dangerous for him. His dad already knows. It’s just a matter of time before he figures it out.”

“He’s going to hate us. He’s going to hate me for lying to him,” Derek insisted.

“He’s far too attached to hate us. Besides, do you really think he’s that shallow?”

No, of course not. But ten years of lies isn’t just a mistake.”

“Five. And you’re being stupid.”

“I’m being reasonable.”

“Dumb.”

“Realistic.”

“Asinine.”

“Safe.”

“He loves you and you’re never going to put him out of his misery, are you?”

“He doesn’t love me,” he scoffed. She rolled her eyes.

“He does. He’s sleeping on you. He loans you movies and then stays up to watch them with you. He shared his damn curly fries with you. If that’s not a declaration of love, I don’t know what is.”

“Sharing curly fries is love?”

“From him it is. He nearly took off Scott’s hand when he tried to take some. My point though, is that he loves you. He loves you and he’s your mate and everyone can see it.”

“He’s underage.”

“Just for a few more months. You should still tell him how you feel though.”

“I don’t want to lose him. Telling him could chase him off or it could make the truth that much more damaging.”

“You’re hopeless little bro. Just think about it, okay?” she sighed, patting his head before she left. Left alone with his thoughts, he knew that he wanted nothing more than to tell Stiles everything. But he couldn’t, not yet.

…………… The first time Stiles came home from college, he smelled like other people. And not like he was just hanging out with other people, but like those people were all over him. Derek didn’t like it. It made him not smell right. He had, maybe somewhat childishly, run off into the woods to avoid having to deal with it. His mom had given him a pointed look upon his return, but he’d ignored it for the most part. If Stiles wanted to have…relations…with other people, then he could. It wasn’t like Derek had told him about his feelings after all.

“Are you still sulking or are you done?” Derek startled, only just barely holding back his shift as he spun around. Stiles was there, sprawled over his bed, his hair still damp as he read one of Derek’s books. He was wearing Derek’s clothes too. “Your sister said I smelled, so I borrowed some of your stuff. That’s okay, right?” Derek held back a whine, nodding.

“Yeah, that was okay.”

“So, you done? Or should I just go home and come back tomorrow?” Stiles asked, giving him an unimpressed look. Derek sighed.

“Why do you care?” he huffed, dropping into the chair by his desk, not looking at Stiles.

“I care because I was excited to come home and see you and as soon as I get here, you bolt. I care because I had plans for us and now we can’t do them because you were being an overly dramatic asshole. I care because I freaking missed you,” Stiles said, his scent turning sour with anger. Derek had never felt more ashamed of himself. Of course Stiles had missed him, they were friends. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I was…I was being stupid.”

“Yeah, you were.” Before he could respond, there was suddenly a mess of long limbs and a frantic heartbeat on him, hugging him tightly. Hugging him back was just natural, instinctive, and he held on tight.

“I missed you too.”

……………

“You might want to make sure you’re more careful driving now.” Derek looked up at Laura and lifted an eyebrow. “John just hired a new deputy.”

“So the new deputy wants to give lots of tickets to impress the boss?”

“No, the new deputy is Stiles.” Derek spat out the tea he’d been sipping, narrowly avoiding spraying his book. Laura, ever the supportive big sister, nearly tripped because she was laughing so hard.

Rude.

……………

“You know, you could just stay in your room.” Stiles sighed, dropping the last box of his things on the couch Lydia had donated to his new apartment.

“Dad, I am a fully functioning adult –”

“Twenty-two.”

“– with a job –”

“Working for me.”

“– so I can live on my own –”

“You could use a roommate.”

“– because I worked hard to get my degree and be independent!” Stiles rushed out. His dad just looked amused.

“You did work hard, but I would feel better if you weren’t alone.”

“Dad,” Stiles sighed, “I’ll be fine. It’s Beacon Hills.”

“Just try not to catch anything on fire,” John said, giving him a grin that was far too mischievous for Stiles’ liking.

“Well, obviously, but why do you say that?”

“Didn’t you hear? Derek and Cora joined the local fire department. You’d never hear the end of it if they had to come rescue you.” Stiles grudgingly admitted that he had a point, but not to his face.

……………

In all fairness, Derek had no right to be mad. He had no right to be all up in Stiles’ face about how dangerous it was being here. Stiles coughed.

“You could have died! It’s not your job to go into burning buildings!”

“You weren’t here,” Stiles huffed, coughing again. “There was a kid inside. I wasn’t about to just stand by and do nothing.” His lungs felt heavy with smoke, his skin felt itchy with ash, he could feel the sweat dripping from his brow leaving tracks as it fell. Derek sighed, grabbing the oxygen mask hanging beside him. The paramedic left him sitting there to go help other people and no one blinked at Derek standing with him.

“Put this back on, idiot.”

“I wasn’t trying to put myself in danger, I was just trying to save that kid.”

“You did,” Derek said. “There is no try.”

“Don’t quote Star Wars at me, I’m trying to be mad at you.” Derek made a displeased noise and firmly placed the mask on his face.

“Breathe. Idiot.” Cora came up and ruffled Stiles’ hair.

“Hey, that boy and his family want to thank you. I told them to call the sheriff’s department tomorrow,” she said. She sat next to him, throwing her arm over his shoulders. “Don’t antagonize Derek, he’s just worried about you getting hurt.”

Derek glared at her. Stiles opened his mouth and pulled the mask off just a little, but quickly replaced it as Derek turned his glare on him.

They could talk later.

……………

Stiles had a week off to recover, filled with baked goods baskets and casserole dishes, providing enough food that he didn’t need to go to the grocery store for the whole week. He was glad to stay home, mostly because he didn’t think he could take any more people shaking his hand and thanking him for what he did. He hadn’t done anything special, but everyone was acting like he had.

His first day back at work was a day of desk duty. He didn’t mind so much; he had enough filing to last him another week. As soon as he sat down however, a paper bag was dropped in front of him. He looked up to see Derek and relaxed.

“Please tell me this is for my dashing good looks and charming wit.”

“No dice,” Derek snorted. “It’s from mom. She said you’re probably tired of hearing the usual spiel people give when we do our jobs, so she said this is just an ‘I love you and I’m proud of you’ breakfast.”

“I think I’ve gained ten pounds from all the food I’ve gotten this past week,” he groaned.

“Well at least you have your pretty face.” Stiles turned his attention to the bag, opening it to find one of Andrew Hale’s Famous Cinnamon Buns – capitals included.

“I love your dad. Tell him I love him. I’m happy to be adopted.”

“I think you’re a little old for that,” Derek laughed. “Besides, you’re already family.”

“I would ask if you’re serious, but your mom signs my birthday cards with ‘love Mama and Papa’.” It was a good touch, with slightly different names than what he called his parents so that they weren’t replacing them.

“I should go, I was just dropping that off for you,” Derek said, giving Stiles a soft little smile. “Try not to run into any more burning buildings while I’m gone.”

“I’ll definitely try,” Stiles laughed, waving as Derek walked away. He couldn’t help his gaze dropping a little, thinking about how great Derek looked in his uniform.

……………

Derek wasn’t sure how it happened. He was standing beside Laura, who was standing beside their parents. There were people in front of them, growling and snarling and flashing their eyes and teeth. Derek’s own eyes were flashing, but he held back the rest of his shift because his mother had raised him better than that. There was a thunderstorm coming, the acrid tang of electricity just on the horizon. His mother gave him a look, conveying that there were enough people here, he’d be better use back home keeping the little ones safe and assured. Without even a word spoken, he turned back, obeying the silent order he was issued.

He had just gotten to the house when the Jeep pulled up, thunder rumbling overhead, promising the coming storm. Stiles stumbled out, looking worried. Derek couldn’t hear anyone, but he knew they were close enough that it wasn’t safe for Stiles to be here.

“You need to leave.”

“Derek, stop it. Don’t push me away,” Stiles said, reaching out and wrapping his hand around Derek’s wrist, “you keep going all hot and cold on me. One minute we’re fine, the next you’re being all grumpy and cold again.” Because he kept remembering that it wasn’t safe, he couldn’t have Stiles because then he’d be in danger all the time.

“Just leave!” Derek growled, turning and shoving Stiles back towards his car. He used too much strength though, and Stiles – human, frail, breakable – went tumbling down. Derek wanted to scoop him back up, wanted to apologize and hold him close, but he couldn’t. The other pack were still close, and he had to keep Stiles as far from them as possible. Stiles needed to leave. Stiles wasn’t hurt though. He jumped back up, his eyes blazing with anger.

“I thought we were past that whole brute shit,” Stiles snapped. All Derek could think about was Stiles burning alive, Kate, or someone like her, finishing the job she’d started back when she was sixteen.

“What do you want?”

“I want you to talk to me! Stop being dumb and trust me!”

“We have nothing to talk about.”

“That’s bullshit!”

“Get out.”

“No.”

“Get out!” Derek roared, feeling his eyes flash, his teeth elongating as he slipped into his beta shift. It was too much, the stress of the other pack, the danger to his family, the danger to Stiles, the fear of history repeating itself, and he lost control for just a moment. He heard Stiles’ heartbeat stutter, saw his eyes go wide, smelled his fear. He was in the car before Derek could say anything, throwing the shift into reverse and throwing gravel as he peeled out. Derek couldn’t help feeling guilt settle in his stomach like a rock.

……………

“So, what did you say to Stiles?” Derek froze.

“So that’s why he’s been smelling all sad and guilty,” Cora hummed, frowning at him. Laura nodded.

“You said something, irritated the hell out of him, and now he’s mad at you and won’t talk to you and smells just as sad as you do.”

“I don’t know why he’s mad, it’s not like we were ever anything more than friends,” Derek snapped. Laura scoffed.

“He loves you!” She growled, her eyes flashing at him. “You’re an idiot!”

“He doesn’t know what he wants. He doesn’t know anything,” Derek said, his voice even and hollow as he stood up and walked calmly, carefully to his room and locked the door behind him. Stiles would get over it eventually.

……………

Derek was slammed into a tree before he even got a chance to do anything more than growl. It’s a little unfair, that the alpha is picking him to fight, instead of his mother who’s currently fighting two of the betas and winning. He knows he’s outmatched, but he’s trying his best.

His best is apparently getting thrown into a tree though, so he’s not sure it’s doing much good.

They’re winning, regardless of how Derek is doing. His mother is running towards him, having beaten off the two betas. Laura is about to take down the beta she’s fighting. Cora is catching her breath and trying to heal her broken ribs faster. Peter has just gained the upper hand on his opponent. Even the sheriff has held his own and is applying pressure to the gash on his head as he helps Derek’s dad off to the side to set his broken leg.

But the alpha has her claws on his neck now and he only wishes that he’d gotten a chance to apologize to Stiles, to tell him that he loves him. Because he does, he loves his mate. And Stiles is his mate, even if he never got the chance to tell him that.

But suddenly, almost as suddenly as the fight started, the alpha is down and screaming briefly before her voice cuts off and her body stills. And standing there, holding the literal smoking gun, is Stiles.

The heavens open up as the remaining pack members flee for their lives, as if the sky was attempting to wash away the spilled blood.

……………

It’s cliché. It’s as cliché as it gets. And because it’s his life, he really should have seen this coming. He shouldn’t even be surprised. It’s like a scene straight out of a rom-com. Since they’re both dudes, would that make it a dick-flick? He’s getting off track. It’s raining. They haven’t spoken since Derek yelled at him. He’s done being mad because he mostly just misses Derek and wants to know once and for all if there’s something there for them, if Derek thinks of him the way he thinks of Derek.

He’s standing next to his Jeep, his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at Derek. He hasn’t said a word yet, but Stiles just saved his ass and Derek owes him at least an explanation as to why he didn’t tell Stiles about any of this. Of course, Stiles already knew, because he’s not an idiot and the Hales really aren’t that subtle. He’s still mad at Derek, but he loves him, so he doesn’t want to just leave.

It’s complicated.

He’s soaking wet, they both are, and his hair is flopping onto his forehead. He’s shivering and regretting most of his life choices as his clothes stick to him and every move he makes reminds him that he’s chafing and feels so gross right now. He’s probably going to get sick because Derek isn’t saying anything and he’s not going to get in the car and Stiles isn’t about to leave him out here alone.

“You shouldn’t have been here!” Derek yells. Not the best way to start this conversation, but at least he’s being direct.

“Where else was I going to be!” he yelled back.

“You could have died!” Derek snarled.

“I didn’t!”

“You shouldn’t even know about this!”

“But I do! You’re my family! My dad was here! I wasn’t going to just sit at my desk and wait for someone to die!”

“You never thing about anything! You just do things and you don’t care what happens to you! But I care! And I’m not going to sit around and watch you kill yourself because you were too dumb to know when to back off!”

“I’m not dumb!”

“That’s what you took from all that?” Derek asked, incredulous. Stiles would argue, had his mouth open and defense on his tongue, but suddenly Derek was right there, pressing him back into the jeep, kissing him furiously. His mouth was hot against Stiles’, his hands blazing where they cupped his cheeks. His body was a long line of warmth holding him in place, much gentler than his words were. The Jeep was cold against Stiles’ back, making him press forward into Derek more.

Damn werewolf body temperatures.

“I could have lost you.” Derek’s words were almost lost in the sound of the pounding rain. His forehead was leaning against Stiles’ and Stiles kept his eyes closed just in case he was dreaming. The steady unsteadiness of his heartbeat resounded in his ears. “I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t.”

“With you diving headfirst into danger, I will.”

“I trust you to have my back, like you always have, you big furball,” Stiles sighed.

“How did you figure it out?”

“You guys are horrible at keeping secrets and I’m an awesome detective. And you throwing a tantrum just confirmed it.”

“I smelled your fear.”

“Because I could tell you were scared. And if you were scared enough to yell at me like that…I figured it was best to get the hell out of dodge.”

“So you weren’t…scared of me?”

“Derek, I saw you tear up over baby bunnies. I could never be scared of you.”

“Shut up.” Stiles does, but only because he gets more kisses.

……………

In the end, it’s worth it. All the fights and hurt and loneliness is worth it. He ends up curled up with Derek in front of the fireplace, wearing Derek’s clothes and sipping Andrew Hale’s Famous Hot Chocolate – again, the capitals are necessary – from Derek’s favorite mug. Derek is scent marking him and growling at anyone who comes too close, while Talia laughs and says he’ll stop once his mate smells enough like him. Stiles pretends hearing that he’s Derek’s mate doesn’t make him feel even warmer inside.

……………

By Christmas they’re building a house in the woods, far enough away from the Hale house that they’re on their own but close enough to be with their family. Derek had liked the idea as soon as he’d first pitched it and his eyes lit up as Stiles talked about making sure there was a nursery and plenty of bedrooms for future little ones. Stiles is pretty sure everything is going to be okay now. As he sits with his pack, his family, his everything, leaning into Derek’s side as Cora sprawls across their laps and Laura lays on top of them. He thinks that this is where he’s meant to be, and he never should have doubted that.

He proposes as they all eat Christmas breakfast, after wishing Derek a happy birthday of course, and Derek carefully finishes his piece of bacon, leaving Stiles to sweat and worry about what if Derek wanted to propose, what if he just ruined Derek’s proposal and now he’s mad. Only, Derek isn’t mad. He tackles Stiles to the ground and buries his face in his neck as he whispers ‘yes’ to him.

Stiles’ stocking has a ring in it and Derek just shrugs and comments that Stiles always had a habit of beating Derek to the punch.

All in all, it’s the best Christmas Stiles has ever had.

(Except for the year after that where a little baby is gifted to them from the local fairies as a wedding gift, but that’s a story for another time.)

#eternalstereksecretsanta17 #esss17 #sterek #fic #submission

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hidden-otaku-stuff · 4 years

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(1) Hey! So sorry for replying late, a lot has happened these past couple of days D: but I hope you've been doing good! (I say as if I've been gone for months aksjdf) anyway, yeah, they're definitely scary. I think it'll be worth being able to be that soft and open with someone though. And I'm glad it did have a positive impact on you! Even if they were hard you came out stronger or wiser in some way. And thank you, you're so sweet :') So do you hon ❤️

hey honeymoon! sorry for taking my time to respond, i hope everything’s been alright with you!

(2) Terushima really does just seem like a big dork who loves volleyball haha. I feel like his initial vibe would make me not want to interact v much lol but once you get to know him he's actually a good person. and that tongue piercing tho 👀. "that one definitely hurts a lot more than Falling does" then I think I'm good for awhile hahaha. I've already read a sad hospital AU so I'm going to stay FAR away for now. Honestly I wish there was an interesting story behind it but there's not :')

(3) basically I had an art blog and the name of it was kind of a pun with the word "honeydew." but that nickname was already taken and I wanted to be ~original~ sso I didn't want to use it lol. I still liked the honey aspect though and I thought Honeymoon sounded cute. I'm also kind of a secret hopeless romantic and at the time I kept my identity on my art blog a secret, so it kind of felt like an "alter ego" of mine? long story short I liked the nickname and it kinda stuck haha

ok i mean, to be fair, he was super aggressive when he was meeting kiyoko. but i definitely feel like there’s that dorky side to him LMAO.

oooof idk if I can handle any angst rn tbh so i can definitely relate 😭

that’s honestly such a cute story though??? like, that’s literally so freakin’ adorable. what type of art did you use to do? (and honestly girl, this whole blog is on the DL and i tried super hard to keep it hidden from my life LOL).

there’s nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic though! it gives you a chance to day-dream hehe 💞 what’s your favorite romantic trope? it could be as cliche or non-cliche as you’d like!

(4) "i’m sorry for being a sadistic fk 🥰" 😀 something tells me you're kind of not LOL (really though I know you're sweet and don't actually want to hurt people akdhf) and honestly I'm glad you decided to expand on it! Chapter one is also great as a standalone but I'm so grateful for the rest so far, and you're doing an amazing job with it love 💖 I understand the chara x chara thing. I don't know if I've ever actually shipped anything to the point of me /wanting/ it to be canon

(6) like, it'd be cool if it was, but I don't actually care y'know? unless it was actual romantic tension built up in the movie/book/series. Fanart and fic is what mostly got me lol. I think the HQ fandom is super diverse/creative in its shipping. Not only because of an incredible story with great characters, but great fans and creators as well. And yes! someone else who likes KuroIwa!! I think that ship is really cute (and they're my top 2 faves so I'm biased haha) have you seen neutinya's art?

i swear i’m nice 💞 thank you so much for the love!! 🥺 i’ve been having writer’s block for a bit, and your comments have honestly motivated me to write so much more for it LOL

i definitely agree though, like, i can’t aggressively fight for one ship over another because it’s literally just not canon. it just feels wrong to “shove that agenda”, so to speak. but it’s always interesting to see all the different character combinations. i never would’ve imagined half of the ones out there if not for this fandom LOL

neutinya’s literally why I have a thing for KuroIwa!! LMAO. i really like the art that they put out. same with bright_stars_45 on IG. Their stuff is literally why i ship Bokuaka soooo hard.

(7) (did I skip 5?) I really hope I'm numbering those right it's 12:30 am here lol. anyway, it's probably a good thing you weren't in the fandom then. I don't know how it is now, but it was p chaotic and toxic and there was actually controversy surrounding one of those fics. I'm sorry about you and your sister love :( I don't know if you'd ever want to have a strong one with her but I hope you do if you do! and if not then there will always be people you share that with, blood or not 💕

LOL you did skip 5, but it’s okay bby 💖 it’s not too serious tbh. i’m not really close to my family, so i’ve always believed in the “my family is the one’s i choose, not necessarily the one’s i’m blood-related to” :)

(8) Piglet has always been my fave, but Eeyore and Lumpy are also great. do you have any favorite characters or ones that mean a lot to you? and that's really cool too!! I know being mixed can get super complicated but knowing you have all of those cultures in you in some way is pretty amazing. Honestly I've been undecided for the past 2 years but after everything going on in 2020, I've felt this need to release the truth? no matter what that may be. I know a lot of people say journalism

(9) isn't an honest profession but, and this will sound arrogant, I want to change that. Even if that just means me being an independent journalist while being an editor to make a living, I'm okay with that. Also it can give you the opportunity to travel, and writing has always been my strong suit. socio is so I can have a better understanding of the world and learn to be less biased and more objective and understanding. What about you? :O

my favorite Disney character is honestly Tiana from Princess and the Frog! her hard-working story is hella relatable to me, and it inspired me to be better for myself if that makes sense?

TBH the most annoying part of being mixed is being called eXoTiC by guys who are tryna sleep with me 💀 there’s definitely a lot of fetishization about it lol

i hella respect that! the need to release the truth. journalism is honestly a raw and authentic profession that people underestimate because they read from biased sources or the things they read isn’t accurate. i have mad respect for you for following that career path! if there’s anything i could do to help, lmk love 💖 TBH, i chose business because i wanted to open my own business and i love psych because i love understanding the world and the people in my lives. psycho-analysing is one of my hobbies hehe. so similar as to why you did socio!

(10) and yes!!!! tbh I've always liked theatre but was never really one for the stage. I was in a child friendly version of macbeth in 6th grade and that was it lol. In my senior year of high school I performed a slam poem about my depression and my teacher called me emotionally constipated lmaoo. and because of how hs went down for me I never got to take classes anyway. I started getting into sfx/film makeup though and I really want to do that! I also just love the energy of backstage tbh

(11) this is getting really long akfdjh. but yeah I want to learn more! I'm actually kind of struggling in my stage management class right now because I honestly don't know much about theatre so it's overwhelming. I haven't even seen a lot of shows (I did see The Lion King when I was a kid though!! and a few hs productions). enough about me though, what's your favorite part, or what are some of your best memories? I love seeing that it makes you so happy :D

omg i’m so sorry that your teacher called you that. that’s so inappropriate, especially considering the subject matter. i hope that you’ve had a more positive experience involving your work since then. if you ever want to talk about your struggle, please feel free to reach out, ok?

you must be pretty talented with makeup though! that’s so cool 🤩 i’ve always admired sfx and people who are talented with makeup tbh. what’s your favorite part about it so far?

i was fortunate enough that my hs had a super talented theatre program that i could be a part of. i had the opportunity to be in both tech, management, and on-stage. i honestly really enjoyed being behind-the-scenes in the management part! it was so great seeing a production from start to finish and knowing that i was involved with that process. i’m a huge theatre nerd tbh 😅 i love watching shows like Phantom of the Opera, Hamilton, RENT and I’ll routinely watch them haha.

#skye's asks #firebonbon

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ladyloveandjustice · 7 years

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Summer 2017 Anime Overview: My Hero Academia Season 2 and KiraKira Precure a la Mode

We return to our look at the summer 2017 anime. I’ve been reviewing the seven anime I watched from worst to best. Previously I talked about the two weakest anime I watched and an anime that was kind of mixed and middling. Now we’re going to talk about too anime I watched that I consider to be Very Good and would overall recommend (with some warnings and caveats regarding some stuff for one of them). Let’s dig in!

My Hero Academia Season 2

I found the first season of My Hero Academia to be pretty good but nothing to get excited about- but damn, this season officially sucked me in. I am now a Fan. Very unwillingly, I might add, but the show wrestled my doubting heart into submission with its endearing characters. fight-y fun and surprisingly good handling of growth and relationships (for the most part).

The basic concept behind My Hero Academia is that in a world where most people have some form of superpower, superheroism is considered a legit profession. Nerdy teenager Izuku Midoriya really wants to be a hero, but he’s one of the few people born without superpowers. However, when he encounters his idol, the number one hero All Might, everything changes and he soon finds himself enrolled in the top-ranked superhero academy.

MHA sparked my interest by being a superhero show (I’m a huge comics nerd) and kept me interested by having a legit adorable and sympathetic protagonist (Midoriya is very earnest and also cries a lot, both things I find intensely cute and relatable), good animation and generally solid fights and storytelling. But it wasn’t really until this season that it came into it’s own as an impressive ensemble show. It subverted quite a few expectations I had, in a really good way and delivered on some pretty incredible character work and interesting world building. Also, it has a great soundtrack.

The season opened with a tournament arc, and I usually find those pretty boring in shonen (though still good, they were easily my least fave parts of HXH, for instance) but this one really mixed things up by weaving in some really good emotional hooks for the one-on-one fights and actually *gasp* developing characters and rivalries that WEREN’T focused on the protagonist.

Rather than going the safe and expected route of having a big match-up be between Midoriya and his intimidating, violent explosion-happy rival, the series showed us a fight between explosion dude and the adorable, sweet main female character (whose superpowers were NOT well-suited for fighting his explosions) and used it to showcase her determination even against incredible odds and further her story along.

It also explored her motive for being a hero- her family isn’t well off and she wants to make some serious cash so they can live in comfort. She worried this motive was “unheroic” but was reassured it was admirable, which was nice to see, especially considering how female characters are generally discouraged from being ambitious.

But the biggest highlight of the arc was the exploration of one character’s trauma and abuse. An arc revolved around a characrer (Todoroki Shouto) having difficulty using the powers he inherited from his abusive father. The story was heartbreaking and well-done and addressed in a very moving way with a very emotional “you are not your parents, it’s your power and body, not theirs” core- but what really impressed me was that the arc’s acknowledgement that this kid’s recovery would not be instantaneous and it was going to be a long and difficult process involving many other steps.

In most shows, once Todoroki had gotten his weird therapy session courtesy of the protagonist, Midoriya, and had been able to use his powers once, it would have been over, done, he’s fixed and he can totally use them now. But instead, the show acknowledged that being able to overcome his trauma enough to use them for a few minutes didn’t mean he’s now so recovered he can just use them whenever he wants. Todoroki realized that he had a lot of unresolved issues he needed to work through and a lot of steps he needed to take before he could recover enough to be truly comfortable with using his powers all the time. “It’s not that I’ve accepted anything, it’s just that, for a moment, I was able to forget about [my dad]”, as he put it. And the show showed us that it had every intention of following him through that recovery process.

Seeing this over-the-top show about superpowers and fights where people suffer ridiculous injuries actually approach trauma recovery in a realistic and nuanced way really shocked me and also majorly tugged by heartstrings. The whole conflict also added some depth to the show’s world building- Todoroki’s scumbag dad is one of the top superheroes out there, despite being a totally horrible person. When being a superhero is a competitive profession rather than a calling you get people who aren’t necessarily “good” or into “saving people” as much as they are in it to make a profit and show off their powers. Which went nicely with the themes of the arc that followed the tournament arc.

The way the show plays around with typical shonen tropes is also great- the show has the highly gifted, arrogant once-upon-a-time-they-were-friends rival for our main character, but he doesn’t become insufferable like most of those characters because the show makes fun of him constantly. None of the other characters put up with his bullshit or take him seriously, he’s constantly called out and made fun of for his asshole attitude and the main character finds him genuinely unpleasant to be around and tried to avoid him socially. This allows his ANGRY EDGELORD nature to be funny rather than annoying, because the show’s in on it too.

And while Todoroki also could have also been a brooding asshole rival character, he’s pretty quickly to be revealed as a nice, kinda dorky guy who’s just quiet, awkward and introverted due to trauma and lack of social interaction. The show’s really self aware in how if plays with these character archetypes for the most part, and that makes it a pleasure to watch.

The show continued its solid character work, punctuated by dramatic and well done fight scenes, through the next arc. Almost every single kid on the show got a moment to shine this season, and you got to know them as characters and heroes and I came to realize- hey, I REALLY LIKE most of these characters.They’re being developed in a fun and interesting way, and they have lives and motivations that don’t just revolve around the main character. And the relationships and dynamics between the various characters are fun and heartwarming too.

And this includes the girls, who, while definitely outnumbered by the boys and underutilized compared to them, are really competent, interesting and have some great moments and arcs going. I especially enjoyed the mini-arc where one of the girls lost confidence in her ability to lead and thought a dude would be better at it, only for him to assure her she’s way better suited for it than him. Always nice to see ladies in command being respected by the dudes with them.

But that does bring us to the fact that while it has some good female characters, the show also has some pretty big sexism issues. All the older female heroes we’ve seen so far are basically walking sex jokes/fanservice dispensers and even some of the younger female characters are uncomfortably sexualized (Momo’s got the classic “oh she has to wear a ridiculously impractical costume because her powers require it” aka “I gave this teenage female character these powers specifically so I could sexualize her”). The fanservice gets to the point of distracting from the plot at times.

There’s a huge absence of female mentors so far (I hear that gets better later) and out of the entire teaching staff of the school, only one is a woman (and her character boils down to “bondage joke”) What’s more, while the girls are good fighters, their powers tend to be less offensive and "powerful” than the boys (this is especially obvs if you look at their official stats). Oh and there’s this fucker:

...who routinely sexually harasses and assaults his female classmates and it’s supposed to be funny and harmless. Every single time this asshole comes on screen u have to put up with a deluge of gross-ass comments and seeing the female characters repeatedly be objectified and have their space invaded. And no, them hitting him or other characters saying it’s gross does not make it okay. It’s still allowed, it’s still clearly there to be “funny” and “titillating” and it still uses girls being abused as a “fun” interlude. That’s NOT okay. It’s not funny. He adds nothing to the show, he just grinds everything to a halt and makes everything uncomfortable. It’s jarring, and takes you out of an otherwise well done story. I really want him and this type of “humor” to be ejected from the show.

But yeah, with those major issues in mind (and god I wish they weren’t there), I still really enjoyed MHA and can’t wait until the next season. The plot’s ramping up and I can’t wait to see where it goes next.

KiraKira Precure a la Mode

Kira Kira Precura a La Mode follows a group of magical girls with superpowers based on both sweets and animals. They run a pastry shop together and protect their city from monsters who want to suck the energy of people who are happily enjoying their favorite confections.

Okay, this is still ongoing, but I think it’s safe for me to say at this point that KiraKira is well on its way to being one of my favorite Precure shows, which considering how I’m a pretty big Precure fan, says a lot.

The writing is solid, the characters are fun and well-developed and the animation and art design is well-done and adorable.

This season added a few fun new touches to the Precure formula, including having two older girls on the team- a pair of 17 year olds hanging with the 14 yr olds (14 is the typical age for Precure protagonists). This pair is a butch and femme couple pretty clearly patterned after Haruka and Michiru- and yes, that also means they are fairly blatantly a lesbian couple.

There is in fact an entire episode revolving around Yukari (femme cat magical girl) trying to make Akira (butch dog magical girl) jealous by threatening to marry a prince and making Akira compete with him for her love. All the while, Akira struggles with whether she should share her true feelings with Yukari. This culminates in a big love confession scene that added ten years to my life. Seeing the younger girls aggressively encourage and support their relationship is great too.

So yeah, about as blatant as S-season Haruka and Michiru- which, if you understand that reference, means there ARE some scenes that try to cast ambiguity on the relationship. This one, for instance, where Akira acts flustered in response to the prince’s suppositions about her relationship with Yukari (and his incorrect assumption about her gender), makes sense in the context of a just forming relationship, but also didn’t add much to show and was likely included so the show could make it seem ambiguous if Yukari and Akira will truly enter a relationship.

However, it has been a long time since we’ve gotten lesbians this blatant in a magical girl show aimed at young girls. Ever since the days of Cardcaptor Sakura and Sailor Moon, gay subtext and text in magical girl shows has been much lighter (and heck, even fanservicey aimed-at-guys magical girl shows don’t seem to have the guts to have girls kiss).

So the fact Precure is now deliberately homaging and emulating Haruka and Michiru and doing blatant love triangle/confession scenes IS a big deal and a step in the right direction. It’s sad we haven’t progressed since the days of Sailor Moon, but it’s good we’re at least not regressing anymore. And while Akira and Yukari haven’t gotten the word of god “Yes they are lesbians” confirmation Naoko Takeuchi gave Haruka and Michiru, (at least, not any we’ve heard of in the West), I wouldn’t say it’s outside the realm of possibility that could happen. (I really doubt the “lol we’re having sex” lines similar to what we got in Sailor Moon Stars will happen though, just because Precure doesn’t do sexual innuendo).

And it’s worth mentioning, we do have an official duet song for Yukari and Akira that’s VERY blatantly romantic. “Koi” is even in the title.

Yukari and Akira are a censored relationship for sure, and it’s obnoxious and wrong those censors are still in place (though not surprising, considering this is a big corporate studio running Precure). They should be able to kiss, they should be openly dating. However, they are obvious enough that if they were a straight couple, we’d be calling them canon at this point, so I’m gonna. Also, I have to shout out that they’ve poured on Utena references GALORE with these two, and I’m super into that.

It should also be noted that Akira is allowed to maintain her butchness even after transforming into a magical girl- she gets a frilly PRINCE outfit. That’s a first for a magical girl show aimed at girls (unless you count Utena, which I don’t for various reasons). She’s never derided for her lack of femininity either (in fact she’s considered cool and attractive) which is a very good affirming message for young girls. There’s also another episode that frames rebellion against enforced traditional femininity as a good thing and has women standing up for and supporting other women who don’t follow gender roles.

To state the obvious, Precure is a show that exists in a capitalist society. So it’s focused on selling toys to little girls and those toys are often stereotypically hyper-feminine. However, it’s still valuable and positive that this show is casting non-gender conforming heroes in a positive light- if a little girl wants to play as Akira, she might have a pink compact, but she can use it to become a dashing butch prince. The lines are blurring in a good way.

Yukari is also notable as a great character- she’s not the genki girl archetype, but messy, petty and a bit cynical. She’s complex. The episodes where she struggles with whether she’s a “good girl” are pretty inspiring and carry the message girls can be heroes even if they’re not all sunshine and daisies.

In fact, all the characters in the season are ALL pretty solid. Their relationships are fleshed out and so are their arcs. The dynamic the whole team has is great. The villains redemption arcs are strong as well. And as always, it’s cute as heck and bursting with lady friendship feels.

My biggest problem with this show would be pacing- it suffers from being two rushed a lot of the time, and often tries to cram way too much in one episode rather than giving conflicts and arcs room to breathe. But that’s my only big issue.

It’s possible KiraPre could have a disappointing finale, but I at least feel confident it won’t end in total disaster. It shows none of the warning signs shows like Hachepre did- there’ve been no love triangles, bland male love interests or anything of the sort shoehorned in, so I don’t feel I have to worry about the worst happening (the “worst” being “the finale revolves around soothing a dude’s wounded ego, with the bond between the magical girls and their power being sidelined for the sake of really uncomfortable and contrived het romance”, if you haven’t seen HachaPre).

Let’s hope KiraPre’s finish is as strong as the rest of it has been!

#my hero academia #kirakira precure a la mode #kira kira precure a la mode #anime overview #summer 2017 anime

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xaziroot · 7 years

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A star, in a sea of darkness.

This is going to be a long one so strap in for the ride. It's going to get real too. I was prompted to write this by my psychologist and complied, I've learnt copious amounts in these past few years and this could help anyone in a similar situation. Gender and mental health talks. This is like a letter to myself and some documentation on things I've had happen.

Some background on me:

I'm Alex, 18, and my main condition is 17β-Hydroxysteroid dehydrogenase deficiency. A condition which impairs sexual development inside and outside the womb. I'm biologically male with XY chromosomes and basically a dick. I'm not trans though before I could have been classed it when not in line with my biological sex. Intersex is what I am. A decision to raise me as female was made and this is the fallout of it all and what I've done after. This is my mental decline and struggling with myself as a human being.

Fights, football and falling out of trees:

I've been going to Great Ormond Street Hospital since the age of 2 and been in psychology since 9. I'm now 18. We're entering the latter part of a decade now, I've had people tell me I'm special but at the same time "a normal kid". But which kid? What was normal? Where did these guidelines come from?

From a young age I knew something was different about me compared to the girls I was lumped into. You oft assume children don't know what they're talking about when it comes to themselves, but I’ve found this to be evidently the wrong mindset. I looked completely different to girls and had a totally different mindset - I was hairier than them, naturally more aggressive and headstrong, liked to do all the stereotypically male stuff; football, fights, falling out of trees the list goes on.

Kids are shit, let's get that out of the way. I remember being taunted with the words gorilla and baboon by family friend’s sons, they pointed at my arms and made remarks like “that's ugly” and “only boys have that”. It did also slightly terrify them so I chased them round with my arms and legs in plain view. I laughed but it really did hurt. This was one of the first times I felt inordinately uncomfortable with my body and myself as a person. I was 5. I continued with laughing at my own pain and not dealing with it for years.

Feelings of not belonging from a young age were ever present and I honestly toiled with my image. I vividly recall in my first psychology session, I was asked what I thought I was. Without hesitation, I stated a boy trapped in a girl’s body. The premise of being a boy completely petrified me however. I was always a tomboy esc child, short hair, loud, wouldn’t mind getting into fights, its goes on. I was certainly a handful and a half.

Condition/Puberty :

My condition means I make zero sex hormone which regulates moods, bone density and one of the most important factors; puberty. A gonadectomy was performed when I was 3 to remove what were my cancerous testes at the time. The fear was if I was to leave these in, when something doesn’t work correctly, it oft turns cancerous. I still think this is horseshit and they should have left them in. (Gonads are what turn into ovaries or testes in every human being when forming inside your mother)

No gonads mean minimal to no sex hormone. I was continually told I needed to take tablets, injections or patches to go through puberty. This onus to medication created this image of I was a freak in my mind. I wasn’t normal and wasn’t a real person. I was but a broken husk of a person. My body nor my mind felt right. To counter this, puberty was induced by a motley of oestrogen based tablets and patches. I absolutely resented these.

Growing up in a conservative east Asian household, I succumbed to the will of my parents and what they wished with no regards or free thoughts of my own wellness. They willed for me to be a girl and that’s what I did. Muted, I got on with life for a few years still feeling horrifically uncomfortable with myself. I scrolled through the internet and browsed through pages upon pages on my condition, further feeling alienated with myself, until I stumbled upon a site which showed, gender wasn’t all black and white.

I scuttled to call my psychologist and let her know the good news. “I IDENTIFY AS A DEMI-GUY!!” She quickly congratulated me and I spoke to her on the spectrum of gender and how it was rather than black and white; a rainbow. Always more masculine and more of an androgynously presented female. Woefully this wasn’t to last. This was around the time I lost a rock in my life; my older brother. I had a younger brother to whom I had always acted like an older brother too, rather than a sister. I also felt I had to step up as the elder male in the family, yet my family considered me nothing of the sort.

They continually told me, stop this mess, you’re a girl get over it. I forcibly resented them and pushed and yelled and fought my way around saying no the fuck I’m not. They tried to make me do typical girl things, wear girl clothes and the like. I had none of it. My sisters, constantly told me, this was but a phase, when I grow up I’ll grow out of this. I’ll be a girl one day. I told them I would rather die. I felt like I would rather die. I had no place in this world.

Boys don’t cry and girls don’t force out their emotions. But, in a family where you’re considered neither, what do you do? How do you cope? I had my mother nor father to speak to, as they said this was all a phase and I was to grow out of it soon. I remember the week before my 15th birthday, I was in the car going to the supermarket with my mum and I yelled, I don’t want to be a girl, I’m not a girl and I want to be a boy. Why am I not normal? Why was I born this way? I don’t want to be alive anymore.

She broke crying saying no one would love me if I did, I wouldn’t be a normal boy and nothing I would do could really work. Well I wasn’t a normal girl so what do I do? I was pushed to the side lines I noticed and my parents focused more of their attention to my younger brother. When I struggled with depression they just pawned it off saying it’s your fault. When my younger brother was diagnosed they rushed to be with him, doing everything for him and stating how I wasn’t a great influence. By 16 I had been diagnosed with chronic depression and anxiety along with borderline personality disorder. This was the real start of my downfall mentally.

College and later:

At college, I still struggled with who I wished to be presented as. I said I wanted to change my name and asked everyone to refer to me as Alex. A typically androgynous name, and could be used to refer to both a female and male. I made who I call my best friends now and got into art. I was extremely aggressive towards myself and others. Destructive behaviour was normal, I broke my hands, ripped my knuckles open, tore my skin open with glass shards, razor blades and anything sharp I could get my hands on. The scars of these still run deep on my skin. I had no idea how to cope with myself and others mentally.

My first best friends, absolute nerds like myself. One drew, the others played D&D and got me into it. We wasted hours on end, playing our characters. My character, a weretiger dwarf with god like strength. I had never had so much fun or felt like I was part of something. For some reason, I ended up hating this when it was pointed out, I immediately felt sick and distraught and panicked at hearing it.

By this point I had been off hormone for a few years which was really starting to take its toll on me. I had violent mood swings swinging from angry to happy to sadness within the frame of a few minutes. I hated everything and everyone, feeling as if the world was against me and nothing good was forecast for me.

It was around this time I decided I needed an outlet to pool all my energy into. My psychologist suggested the gym but ultimately, I went for art and drawing. I started seriously drawing in January of 2016. It was the end of my first year in college, summer was here and I decided to really knuckle down on art and get serious. I scrolled through my Instagram and the limited artists I followed. I found a drawing by an artist which left me dumbfounded. It was the coolest thing I had seen ever. I started to speak to this artist who we’ll name Manny for the time. Manny was the kindest, most accepting human being I’d ever met to that point and still, to this day, I hold as the biggest influence in my life.

Manny had been through a lot themselves, neither of our lives, exactly peachy. But they were obviously doing better than myself, something I couldn’t see. Years of mental neglect and struggle flooded out of the gates and I put more pressure on Manny than thought. I had no idea how to cope, I pawned everything bad onto others whom I spoke to, blamed myself for everything and was a glowing disorder of negativity and hatred. Come to the end of the year and Manny had ended up becoming my first S/O. This time, though plagued with issues, was easily the happiest and simplest time of my life. Friends, someone who loved me, a job and a roof over my head, I was on track to be in the worst place mentally ever.

Manny was unrelenting in saying how much I meant to them. This was the first time I had ever felt wanted and needed in my life. The feeling of belonging and genuine appreciation for my existence was something I had never had before. This lasted for a few months until they called it off. I understood but didn’t at the same time. But I accepted it and let it happen. I was sick for a week after this. Lovesickness is a thing and so is heartbreak. Coupled with my brutal mood swings, I grappled and competed with myself and further chipped away at the little self-worth I had. Oddly this affected me for months to come.

Now looking back, neither of us was in a place to be together but I’m glad I did it. I had no idea the sheer joy someone can bring you, the feeling of wanting to be better for them and everything about them. You love their little mannerisms, their little jokes absolutely everything. Nothing feels wrong and you feel nothing can bring you down. Though I had no clue how to cope at the time, this gave me my first taste of what affection is like. You learn what you can cope with and what you can’t.

It was around this time, I was coming to final talks on who I wanted to be.

I had enough. Years of feeling neglected, and feeling chipped away at had taken their toll. It’s odd, you think the small things don’t hurt as much but they really hurt the most. Being called she dozens of times a day, I pawned off but this ultimately hurt me the most. I still struggled with seeing my worth as a human being, still feeling broken. You would be surprised at how much having minimal sexual hormone really does affect you. I couldn’t see the worth in living often and blocked myself in my room and wanted to wither away. I tried overdosing, bleed outs and trying to starve myself into a coma. I once didn’t eat for 2 weeks.

Family constantly still said, get out of your phase now, it’s not real you’ll not be a real boy. But I started Testosterone in December of 2016 against everyone’s wishes. Within a few months, my voice had broken, I was far more muscular, acne to shit and loads more which arrives with the wheel of puberty. I felt a feeling of belonging in my body which I didn’t previously. I still didn’t feel right for months to come until now, November of 2017.

I did a 180 and really started to work on myself. I started going to gym, losing weight, growing my hair out and spoke to my psychologist more on how I could accept myself. It’s tough, when you feel everything is on a fundamental level, wrong. One thing I was told to do was go to a mirror, look at myself and tell myself I love you. The first time I did this, I looked at myself, became so enraged and punched the mirror. I went to work at a networking company 9 - 5 and separated from my college friends, 15 miles away in a different town. I slowly moved away from my friends and Manny themselves said they didn’t want to speak to me anymore. Spending time in hospital with skin issues was more a blessing than a curse.

You’d think losing my best friends, would rip me apart but I felt nothing. I spoke to my psychologist and asked her, was I broken? Why did I struggle to feel anything? Even today, I still toil with my emotions. I don’t have the fix for this now man, but work at it. Gain your friends respect back. Not their approval. You value them as people and not the need to be wanted.

But I’ve come to accept myself more. Now, this may be extremely trivial but I like my face. I think I’m cute. I look fucking beautiful with long hair. Me this time last year, was 180 the other direction, hating myself so much I was tearing my skin apart and wanting to be dead. But I’m happy I’ve lived through it. Bro you’re bomb af and I’m so proud of you. You’re not 100% right now but holy fuck you’re cute.

I’ve learnt a lot in the past few years, but if I went back in time to speak to myself, I would say:

Don’t underestimate yourself.

I’ve had experiences and emotions many people don’t feel during any time in their life. This was something I was told for 4 straight years, month after month. My psychologist continually spoke about how monumental the things I’ve had to deal with are, continually putting others before myself and never caring about how I felt.

Don’t neglect yourself, mentally nor physically.

You might not see it now, but fuck you’re amazing man. You’ve soldiered through shit keeping everything else on top of your shoulders. Your body might not be perfect, but you can work on it. Don’t keep taking it out on yourself. It’s ok. You need to yell, scream, should, punch, kick? Go for it. Cope, don’t feel bad for being by yourself a lot and just wondering round.

Don’t pressure your friends.

A difficult one I will admit since you have no idea how to cope yourself. But in time, you learn. Things you shouldn’t do, things you can do. Friends are friends man! Not psychologists. Love them, appreciate them, don’t be afraid to tell them you love them. They’re there for you and oft family. Don’t offload to them constantly and scare them off. If you struggle, they struggle.

Love yourself.

You’re more than good enough to be alive. Your legs may hurt, your insides might not work perfectly and there’s no more of you but you’re breathing, competent and can love. It’s okay dude! I love you now. I’m what’s basically your older brother, with all experiences. Your dark chocolate eyes, soft flowing brunette hair and pale skin is all good! Your spider hands are cool af and you sound like a 36-year-old man. I’m proud of you kid. So are friends. People who stuck up for you in secondary school are proud you’re becoming the person you’ve wanted to be.

Life is a rollercoaster.

It’s never always going to be sunshine and daisies. It’s a ride with a set number of seats. People come and go but if you think people are worth keeping, you strive to improve yourself. Earn their respect and make sure they’re people whose respect means something to you. Take heed of friend’s words, they have experiences you don’t and may know about something better.

Real family isn’t perfect no matter what you’ve come to believe.

At times, they care when they need something and could toss you aside when they don’t. But don’t worry. Don’t take what Dad or Mum say to heart. They care, in the crudest sense possible. Your sisters, are still a grey area. They’ll still refuse to call you by your name but take it in your stride and like water off a duck’s back. Don’t panic it will pan out in time. They’re just scared for you but show them, you’ve got it down. Don’t rush to gain their approval it’s honestly not worth jack.

You won’t improve your character overnight.

As heart breaking as it is and how you want to see progress there and then, chip away at it. Do little bits and do what you can and change does happen. You’re not perfect and people may suggest things, you’ll not get it right first time, second nor the third. But keep at it. You might go completely the wrong way but attempt it.

You cannot help everyone.

Often its better to remain quiet man.

We all cope in different ways.

Pain is relative. Do not compare yourself to others. You might be able to be hit by a car but a gash is worse for the other person. Nothing is a competition. You may be hit constantly with bad news but take it as it comes and deal with it. Don’t go comparing your pain to others, it’s bad news.

Illness isn’t the end of the world.

Don’t panic or come to believe it’s the end of it all. Won’t lie, you have potential osteoporosis on the way and your nerve damage gets worse but take it as it comes. You’re still ok. You find methods to cope with it.

Finally man, you're growing up and smashing norms within our culture. You've even been called a pretty boy twice. Life moves in mysterious big guy.

Anyone wants to speak to me about anything, transitioning, changes, coping anything, send me a message. I’m not perfect but I'll really try and help you.

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jaketheaudiophile · 5 years

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Best Albums of 2019

Well hello there! Long time, no see.

In keeping up with my lazy past tactics, I really only use this blog for end-of-the-year recaps anymore, which I’m completely fine with. I still listen to music as much as I always have, but have lost the desire to constantly write about it. I guess this is adulthood, or having a “real job” or something.

Either way, here are my top 15 albums of 2019. What were yours?

HONORABLE MENTION

DELTA SLEEP: “Younger Years” EP

released September 27 via Big Scary Monsters

Delta Sleep completely surprised everyone this year by releasing this EP without any prior announcement or notice. No teaser tracks, no hints at studio time, just completely out of the blue. Props to these British math-rock legends for their secrecy; it was certainly a fun thing to wake up and see all over social media on a random Saturday in September. These guys definitely have a formula or format they stick to on their releases, so this is more of the same for longtime fans, and that’s largely a good thing. I still think they tend to rely on filler tracks or noise too frequently, but the good definitely outweighs the bad. This was easily my favorite EP of 2019 and is definitely worth mentioning for this list.

#15

UNWED SAILOR: “Heavy Age”

released May 3 via Current Taste / Johnathan Ford

Man, was I really looking forward to this one. My favorite band releasing their first full-length album in 11 years? And their first new music in 6 years in general? What could go wrong? Not much, to be honest, but I felt overall underwhelmed with “Heavy Age”. Most of the songs run together or could use editing instead of just repeating passes ad naseum. Also, the 13-minute-plus album closer “When You Want Me There” is largely meandering and pointless. Still, I love Johnathan Ford and his merry band of musicians for a reason, and there are definitely quality songs and moments on this record. I worry that I might be including them here out of obligation, but it still was better than other records I left off my list this year. The band has also already announced another new record in 2020, and I’ll go into that with the same reckless abandon of excitement as I did this album.

#14

SOMOS: “Prison On A Hill”

released August 30 via Tiny Engines

I really, really, really wanted to love this record. Boston’s Somos had been teasing this album’s progress for over a year, and their previous releases have been some of my favorite pop and punk from the decade. I’m not always the biggest proponent of politically charged art, but Somos always did it in a way that was sensible and understated. Unfortunately, this album’s release came prematurely due to tragic passing of guitarist Phil Haggerty. The band was able to put out the album earlier than anticipated with all funding going to Haggerty’s funeral expenses and family, which was a wonderful move by record label Tiny Engines. The album doesn’t feel rushed or unfinished, but is a bit too muddled and all-over-the-place for my liking. Longtime drummer Evan Deges left the band prior to the recording of “Prison”, and Somos decided to go the route of programmed drums instead of a session musician or new band member. The result is sadly a bit soulless, although it does compliment some of the more electronic leans in the band’s sound as well. The truly sad thing is that this will most likely be the last release by this band per their social media and interviews post-release, and I wish that tragedy would not have struck them during a time of a seemingly musical lack of focus.

#13

COUNTERPARTS: “Nothing Left to Love”

released November 1 via Pure Noise Records

I’ve been a huge fan of these Canadian melodic hardcore mainstays for ages, but I wasn’t crazy about their last release, 2017′s “You’re Not You Anymore”. Two of my favorite members (drummer Kelly Bilal and guitarist Jesse Doreen) quit the band right before it came out, and the resulting record felt unpolished and rushed. Thankfully, a bit more seasoning for the new members on the road and in the studio seems to have worked wonders, as “Nothing Left to Love” is back on the quality path for these bruisers. I’ve always adored vocalist Brendan Murphy’s delivery, and it’s legit stunning that he still has a throat after years of brutal barking, let alone how good it sounds on this release. Additionally, the band has a clever skill of interweaving cool triplets or other rhythms and complex structures underneath otherwise traditional breakdowns or song structures, which puts them in rarified air in a traditionally by-the-numbers genre. All this said, the title track / album closer sort of ruins the album for me. It’s essentially an unnecessary clean, polished filler track and feels tacked on to extend the length of the record, and I almost always skip it. Still, it was excellent to hear these guys back on their game, and I’m excited to see where they go from here.

#12

STATE FAULTS: “Clairvoyant”

released June 21 via No Sleep Records

I can’t say that this is the most original record I’ve ever heard. Anyone who is a fan of Deafheaven or any similar noisy / thrashy metal outfits will certainly find this sound familiar. However, it’s done with an unabashed energy and brutality alongside a sincerity that is truly refreshing. There’s a fascinating rawness to both Johnny Andrew’s shrieking vocals and the utter cacophony his bandmates whip up throughout their songs. The dedication to melody throughout everything also makes the songs memorable. This album caught me completely out of nowhere via an Anthony Fantano shoutout and resonated in all its ugly glory.

#11

KING GIZZARD AND THE LIZARD WIZARD: “Fishing For Fishies”

released April 26 via Flightless Records / ATO Records

Speaking of the Internet’s Busiest Music Nerd, I first heard of these Australian weirdos thru the Needle Drop’s channel, but didn’t really fully deep dive into their prolific catalogue until this year. The fact that they released 2 full-length albums in 2019 is impressive enough (let alone releasing FIVE in 2017), but it’s jaw-dropping that the two most recent efforts are on complete opposite ends in terms of sound and genre. I personally prefer the blues-rock goodness of “Fishies” to the thrash-metal leanings of “Infest The Rat’s Nest”, but unending respect to these dudes for managing to pull both off convincingly. . The album closer “Cyboogie” is a bit too overlong and bizarre for me, but it works as a nice transition to the concepts the band bring out for “Infest The Rat’s Nest”, so I get where they are coming from. This album has some of the most infectious grooves and blues guitar riffs I’ve heard while passing along a necessary message on environmental concerns and conservationalism. The serious bits aren’t require, though, and it’s certainly plenty of fun to kick out the jams and enjoy the ride.

#10

INFANT ANNIHILATOR: “The Battle of Yaldabaoth”

Self-released by the band on September 11

Ok, ok...I get it. Most people will dismiss these grindcore hooligans as an internet joke band. That’s really what I went into this record expecting: Absurd lyrics, hilarious-yet-impressive vocals, blistering blastbeats, etc. I was instead greeted by one of the impressive and intricate technical death metal albums I’ve experienced. Vocalist Dickie Allen truly outdoes himself with his quite frankly ridiculous vocal range, but Eddie Pickard truly deserves credit for the album’s newfound ventures. His guitar and bass work is over-the-top but mesmerizing, and the riffs and structures he crafts here are all sorts of brilliant. As funny as it feels to type out, this band really needs to be taken seriously, or at the very least should be commended for leaning into the joke and delivering something complex, disgusting and awe-inspiring.

JIMMY EAT WORLD: “Surviving”

released October 18 via Exotic Location and RCA Records

Speaking of things I didn’t see coming this year...I adore Jimmy Eat World. “Clarity” is one of my favorite albums of all time, but I’ve largely fallen off keeping up with the band’s recent releases. Some good friends (+realfriends) talked up their latest and 10th release, “Surviving”, so I picked it up out of curiosity and was stunned at how competent and compelling it is. I even love the song with no obvious guitars or drums that I would have probably normally panned as a grab at radio airplay (”555″), and generally find the album to be completely badass. Kudos to JEW for proving they still belong in the upper echelon of emo and rock.

THE GET UP KIDS: “Problems”

released May 10 via Polyvinyl Record Co.

...speaking of comeback records...well, maybe that’s not quite accurate, but this was another surprise from a band I grew up loving that had largely lapses in my regular rotation. I guess 2019 had a theme of revisiting bands of my youth due to them reforming, doing anniversary tours, or releasing new music for the first time in ages. The Get Up Kids fly back to the heights of old with a manic punk barrage of joy. It’s probably my fault for not keeping tabs on these guys, but this record is gutsy and charming and lovely. It’s not really reinventing the wheel, but GUK basically constructed the wheel to begin with, so we really owe them more credit all around.

BARS OF GOLD: “Shelters”

released April 12 via Equal Vision Records

Bars of Gold have been an enigma of sorts throughout their existence. Largely well-known due to rising from the ashes of indie / screamo miasma BEARVSSHARK, the band is content to rest on their laurels and release music and play shows whenever they feel like it, largely due to family and other commitments. This leaves fans like me tripping over their own feet whenever something does come out. The Michiganders truly feel like a group of dads finding the one day a month when they all have a free evening to plug in their guitars and whip up some chaos, and it’s always fun to see the results. Marc Paffi has also always been one of my favorite vocalists, so the opportunity to hear his wacky lyrics and throat is always cherished. Here’s hoping we don’t need to wait 5 or so years for another album, but patience has been rewarded with these guys.

ORIGAMI ANGEL: “Somewhere City”

released November 15th via Chatterbot Records

Props to my buddy Steve Lee for turning me on to this band (as well as 2 others in my top 5). Origami Angel are one of those bands that defies logic: “How can two dudes make so much noise?”, “How can he play guitar like that while singing?”, “How did these guys put out one of the best indie rock records of the year seemingly out of nowhere?”, etc. Regardless of any questions, I was floored by this album and it was definitely the band I listened to the most for the last part of the year. It’s catchy, diverse, well-rounded and doesn’t overstay its welcome by being just under 30 minutes long with all the fat trimmed off. What more could you want?

PEDRO THE LION: “Phoenix”

released January 18 via Polyvinyl Record Co.

I had a strange moment at some point this year where I found a YouTube video of David Bazan performing a song from Pedro The Lion’s first release (2001′s It’s Hard To Find a Friend”). I was struck by how different his voice sounded nearly 2 decades later thanks to touring and life in general. It certainly was not a bad change, but just one that struck me as a sign of the passage of time. That sort of nostalgia and reflection is all over “Phoenix”, which is largely Bazan dusting off his childhood diary and describing memories of his hometown, tales of school, church, regret, family, plans and tragedies. It’s a celebration of memories, lessons learned and where one comes from, and Bazan’s direct delivery and brilliant-yet-understated lyrics paint perfect pictures. Hopefully it doesn’t take us over a decade for another Pedro release, but Bazan and company cement their status as songwriters and storytellers with this release.

PUP: “Morbid Stuff”

released April 5 via Rise Records and Little Dipper

PUP was a new phenomenon for me this year. These Canadian rockers are full of piss and vinegar, supercharging a sound that is simultaneously infectious and off-putting in the best possible way. They take a genre that can be same-y and repetitive and inject a lesser band’s whole back-catalogues’ worth of creativity and energy, leaving the listener enthralled and endlessly guessing what will happen next. Vocalist Stefan Babcock takes some getting used to, but his permanent-sneer delivery and slam poetry has a charm that compliments his playful and honest lyrics. However, it’s the moments where he busts out of his speak-singing or general hollering to delivery a super catchy hook or chorus that truly put him at another level and proves PUP to be one of the most exciting things to happen in the punk and rock genre.

MASKED INTRUDER: “III”

released March 1 via Pure Noise Records

With the exception of Unwed Sailor, this was my most anticipated record of 2019. Masked Intruder is one of those bands I listen to constantly. I usually default to putting my iTunes or Spotify on shuffle, and find it always makes me happier. For “III” the band hotwired their usual fun, tongue-in-cheek poperpop and craft a pretty perfect record in the process. Previous MI albums had a skippable track here and there, but this one is all killer, no filler. I’ve always adored the underlying Motown or doo-wop foundations in their songwriting and vocal harmonies, which add a timeless throwback quality to their song structures. The heart-on-sleeve lonely lyrics and constant references to petty crimes and best-laid plans are the icing on the top of this sugary musical sundae. It might be irreverent and occasionally basic, but sometimes that is all I wanted in music, and these guys delivered it in spades with this record.

FREE THROW: “What’s Past is Prologue”

released March 29 via Triple Crown Records

From the opposite end of the emotional spectrum, Nashville’s Free Throw released a quality emo record that doesn’t focus on pining for lost loves or revisiting relationship heartbreak and instead dives into one’s personal mental health and well-being. Props to vocalist Cory Castro and the rest of the band for completely baring all and channeling their honesty into this powerhouse album. However, there’s also plenty of diversity in the band’s sound and delivery. No song really sounds like the next, largely thanks to the band employing 3 guitar players who rarely play the same thing as each other. Some emo staples are here, though, such as frenetic drumming, clever tapping riffs, and stripped down moments with just a guitar and Castro’s vocals. All in all, this record makes you feel better about yourself and truly feels like the band came to the same conclusion while making it, which is gargantuan. When Castro belts out “TODAY I FINALLY LEARNED TO SAY I LOVE MYSELF” towards the end of the album-closing title track, you can’t help but root for him in his own journey towards mental health, but to not feel inspiring to do the same for yourself. It will encourage and inspire you, and feels deeply personal and universal all at the same time.

SNOOZE: “Familiaris”

Self-released by the band on May 3

There were so many times during this past year where I’d be driving, doing chores, at the gym or doing some sort of menial task where I’d decide to put on music and stop myself short of putting on this record again. I’d say “OK, you have to listen to something else besides the Snooze album. You’re doing to get sick of it if you keep listening to it this much. We don’t want that to happen.” Despite these odd concerns, I can say that this truly never happened. This album is effortlessly relistenable to me and has become my anti-depressant. I can’t help but feel charged up on happiness and charm while this is playing. It’s so chock full of killer vocal harmonies, clever yet crazy guitar riffs, well-restrained double-bass fills and brilliant song arrangements. It’s also a cyclical record, meaning one song runs right into the next and the end of the album theoretically plays right into the start, which makes turning it off quite difficult indeed. Add to all this the fact that it’s a concept album about how amazing dogs are, and you’re left with a spellbinding listening experience. This is one of the best records I’ve heard this decade, let alone this year, and essentially locked its place as my album of the year during my first playthru. Well done, Snooze. Who’s a good boy?

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willowdidnothingwrong · 7 years

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answer ALL THE QUESTIONS

sharanya there are a hundred!! but ok

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

No!

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

I’m really fortunate that no one has really hurt me since, I guess, high school! And I definitely forgive high school shenanigans because wow, I thought my friends and I were mature then but this was not true!

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

nyan, nyan, nyan! nihao nyan~~~~~

4: what’s something you really want right now?

a really awesome nerd dance party!

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

No!

6: do you like the beach?

I used to love the beach, or any water, a lot! But I had some weird ear injury, and now it’s hard for me to swim much without getting ear problems. So I still really like the beach, but it makes me feel a bit wistful.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Yep.

8: what’s the background on your cell?

An aesthetic shot of Bay-Enterprise train station, in my hometown of Edmonton!

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

My summer housing bed, a hotel bed in hartford, my bed at home, my bed at school last year.

10: do you like your phone?

Yes. It cannot successfully type ‘t’ or ‘u’, but this adds to the charm! also I’ve gotten really creative at using words which don’t have those letters so that’s cool

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

I didn’t plan, I guess!

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

I think… a model united nations conference help staffer’s number?

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

why have either when you could have MY DOG. Which I can. (And you can’t.)

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional pain lasts longer, I guess?

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

Art museums, because zoos are nice but they also make me sad when animals aren’t well cared for or don’t have enough space! It would be so sad to live your life on display. That said a lot of zoos care for their animals in an amazing way – unfortunately too often, it seems like this isn’t the case though :/

16: are you tired?

No!

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

As in, my first one to ever be added? I guess my parents, so my whole life. As in, the person I’ve texted the most over my entire lifetime? Since high school. As in, the person I talk to most over the phone now? Also since high school.

18: are they a relative?

For the first of my three alternatives.

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

No! They’re all great people but our relationships ended for good reasons. I hang out with all of them though.

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

Wednesday?

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

No, well yes, depending on what ‘knowing’ means! If a 100% infallible oracle told me that this was the right decision, I guess! But if it’s just the ‘knowing’ of the moment, no! It’s good to have a time-distributed sample of ‘knowing’.

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

No!

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

zeeero

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

“Je pense, donc je suis.”

25: what’s on your mind?

my head. But also my physics research, and thoughts about people! Mainly about how lucky I am to have acquired Amazing Summer Friends, which reminds me to tell them about why they’re great. **does so **

26: do you have any tattoos?

No.

27: what is your favorite color?

Red!

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

When it happens, I guess!

29: who are you texting?

sharanya it’s you!

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

Yes.

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

Roughly as often as chance predicts.

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Honestly… almost all my friends are nonmale? I have like, one, maybeee two male friends I can talk to about serious stuff? But I am in the process of acquiring a new male friend and I’m Really Excited about this!

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

Maybe? Unclear!

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

On occasion.

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I would be surprised! But good for them!

36: were you single on valentines day?

Yep!

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Yes!

38: what do your friends call you?

By my first name. or sometimes nerd

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

I guess, but the perturbation led to me reaching a higher energy state!

40: have you ever cried over a text?

Six years ago.

41: where’s your last bruise located?

I don’t think I’ve had a bruise for years honestly.

42: what is it from?

Hence I forget.

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Hmm, probably not for three years, when I accidentally wandered into an unfamiliar and possibly sketchy part of Edmonton at midnight through a long and curious chain of events!

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My mom!

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

I love converse more than my own sole. (hahaha.) But they break pretty frequently, so whatever pair of converse I’ve had for longest that hasn’t broken!

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No, I only wear one hat and only when I’m feeling cool enough for it because damn it’s way cooler than I am.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

i really like hair for dramatic dance moves;;;;;

48: do you make supper for your family?

Sometimes when I’m home, but honestly my mom does way more of the cooking work even then! The balance is slowly shifting in my favour as I learn better to make things my mom likes and get less lazy!

49: does your bedroom have a door?

Yes.

50: top 3 web-pages?

mspaintadventures,metafilter, wikipedia!

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Most of my extended family!

52: does anything on your body hurt?

No!

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

Hmm. Usually they’re really easy, but when I’m hanging out with really cool people I’m always so awkward about it because they’re like ‘Bye’! and I’m like “bye…” but I’m really thinking “WAIT BUT YOURE SO COOL WHY NOT JUST KEEP HANGING OUT”

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Green tea!

55: how is your hair?

Wet post-shower!

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

grumble, pull my blanket up, attempt to get into a comfortable sleeping position, decide I oughtn’t sleep, turn on my phone, log on to metafilter

57: do you think two people can last forever?

Yes!!! Of course!

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

I was 10.

59: green or purple grapes?

I’ve never given it thought, I just eat them!

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

this reminds me that I have not given a big hug for a long time! so whenever I have the chance!

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

I wish cambridge ma were magically transported into canadaland because canada’s great! But Cambridge is nice and I’m happy to be here as it is.

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

Hmm, likely the next five minutes.

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

Sleeping!

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

Reading differential geometry;;;

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

My then-girlfriend!

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Tons of people! My friends K and X and S. B., for a start!

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

Non non mon ami

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

“Zeta functions…. or hater functions”

(my brain’s dumb thoughts inevitably involve math. im sorry.)

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Not really! Not that everything has been Successful, but a lot of it has and when things haven’t, it’s let me move onto other things which it turns out are hella cool and I really like so **happy shrug**

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

Seven!

71: how many fingers do you have?

ten

72: what is your ringtone?

The default one… but I’ve never turned on my volume ringer, like, ever?

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

74: where is your mum right now?

In Edmonton, Alberta! I’ll see her in three days and I’m excited!

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

We lived 9 timezones apart with limited internet access, then turned out to have very different attachment styles! But we’re still like. almost best friends! And it turns out this is a much better dynamic for us!

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Non non!

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Yes! Almost all of them, though since I’ve moved countries sometimes not in the frequency I would like. Like I really wish I could talk to my friends B.D. and T.J. more! But they’re both in California time.

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

A., who was one of my best friends but in retrospect I was definitely gay for;;;; (A. is most definitely Very Straight.)

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

Yes! My cousin! He’s a great guy and has two AMAZING AND CUTE KIDS who I really wish I could spend more time with!

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Yes!

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

Definitely one, maybe two?

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

No!

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

No current crushes!

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

Yelling at people from car windows is not ok and very objectifying! I am not doing this and if my friends are they’re getting a stern talking to!

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

Yes, it’s probably not a for sure dealbreaker but it is almost certainly a dealbreaker.

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

THE MOVIE HAD AMAZING BABY SPIDERMAN and I got to get really excited with a friend about cute. baby. spiderman. who i love deeply.

87: who was your last received call from?

My mom! Honestly I only call my mom.

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

…no.

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

…knowledge of algebraic geometry? Ok, on a personal level, I wish I was better at talking to friends about personal issues? I used to be really good at this, but over the past few years I just have been really fortunate and I haven’t really had many personal issues at all! So I’ve become used to dealing with them myself, and I haven’t been very good at this at all.

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

People have betrayed my trust, yes. But I’m happy I trusted them because even if it didn’t work out, the alternative of being suspicious seems too dark!

91: do you sleep with your window open?

Yes! the outdoors is nice and i want it in me!

92: do you get along with girls?

Yes! most of my friends are women!

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

No!

94: does sex mean love?

They’re definitely distinct concepts! That said, I would find it pretty impossible personally to consider sex without love! Definitely that isn’t true for other people and that’s cool!

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

No! Except neither of us are good at breaking locks oops

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

No!

97: did you sleep alone this week?

Yes!

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

So many people in my life! My mom, my dog, my friends are all so awesome! I’m super happy and fortunate.

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

It can probably happen! But people are deeper than their appearance, and I think most successful love probably does not rely on first sight!

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

Probably a drunk dutch girl in hong kong who wanted me to pinky promise swear that we’d hang out more?

#ask #questions #self #self post #@shanakin

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