#I'm here for emotes and nothing else

[foundfamilywhump]

truly i don't care who thinks it's stupid or boring or "doesn't count" or can't be as intense as what they think of as "real whump" or whatever else, whump with comfort and recovery and caretaker(s) is always going to be my style of whump and i'm gonna have a blast vibing with people who also enjoy that

[myrmica]

its so funny that all minute—the guy who once upon a time hoped to redeem zam—'s team has accomplished is getting him to consider giving up his remaining honor in order to match the level they're playing on ?

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

there are too many thoughts inside of me at all times.

[ratcandy]

Actually nevermind being secret about it no I'm just completely demolished over Sindri. And the Huldra brothers in general. I will literally never recover Might just be my tendency to get overly attached to tragic lil men but good lird!

Sindri lost Brok three times!!! Once when he first died, another when they split after their arguments, and then. After being finally reunited, for a good few years, despite Sindri still constantly carrying the weight on his shoulders about Brok's missing soul piece... Brok is killed, right in front of him!! By a guy he was harboring in his house for weeks!!!! And can't be brought back this time!!!!!!!! AND WORSE, Mimir revealing that. without that missing soul piece, Brok doesn't even get an afterlife now. He's just gone. I just keep thinking about that. Horrified. Does Sindri know? Does he know the full extent of what he did by bringing Brok back to life that first time? Did he know, when he initially saved him, that he could be denying Brok any afterlife at all???? Or even that when Sindri himself dies he won't get to reunite with his brother??????

And Sindri was never even given the chance to tell Brok himself about what he did! Brok had to find out on his own!! My man had everything taken from him!!

Augghhdg. And the line from Atreus after Sindri essentially tells him to fuck off after taking away his only family. the fucking. "I thought we were family too." After Atreus refers to him and Brok as his "sort of uncles" earlier in the game. Only to lose both of them in one fell swoop. I hate it here.

The only and I'm talking the ONLY sense of closure this man was allowed to have was dealing the final blow to Odin. And I was so happy for him when he did. While Kratos, Freya and Atreus are passing around the soul like "No, killing him won't make us whole again" and all that nice character growth shit, Sindri just shows up and is like "then I'll fucking do it myself" and I LOVE that for him. Good for you. Fuck yeah

But it also just. It just still hurts the whole time. With Sindri covered in his brother's blood. Not wearing gloves. Not even caring anymore. Disheveled and a mess. Knowing how he was before all this. And how he's been so fucking broken down. I hate it here. I hate it here. I want Sindri back. I want him back how he was before. He was my funny germaphobe uncle who cracked silly jokes and made cool armor/weaponry. I want him back. I want his wholesome relationship with Atreus back. I want Sindri back. I don't like broken, silent, wrathful Sindri. I hate it here.

At the funeral. When Mimir finishes Brok's riddle as Sindri disappears. "A hole." Gets bigger the more you take away from it. I just immediately lost it and started punching the air. It was a metaphor for Sindri himself the whole time as he gradually loses everything he ever had. I hate you. Why would you do that. Who gave you that right. Fuck you

[bootyful-seventeen]

i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh

[gepazu]

pspspspsps,, coney island by taylor swift w (again) the godheim boys,,,

[sysig]

It clearly wasn’t important to you (Patreon)

[ahelpfulpeach]

thing I am eagerly awaiting/hoping for next ep (36)

FCG having a chat with Ashton about the whole “everything hurts all the time” thing and/or taking it upon themself to take on some of Ashton’s chronic pain and whatever fallout from that happens

Orym and Imogen having a chat about grief and Laudna and guilt and such Imogen and Keyleth ALSO having this breed of discussion

just more time for the Hells to discuss Feelings about the whole situation in general like even setting aside from the Moon Plot stuff, a very emotionally central member of the party is dead, and two of the currently alive party members died for a bit, Fearne’s parents and grandmother situation is a whole thing, FCG’s murderbot/trojan horse thing is another whole thing, as are the revelations about Dancer and whatnot, Imogen and Laudna had only just barely had the chance to make up before Laudna died, Laudna had been dealing with Delilah’s influence a lot more recently, Ashton had some Backstory Reveals that are clearly affecting them a lot, Chetney is having some weird werewolfy shit goin’ down that he has not really alerted anyone to, and I’m probably missing some more things but YEAH they mentioned they needed a good round of What the Fuck is Up with That and i AGREE

Fearne and/or Chetney shenanigans in a fancy castle

Percy makes Mister a gun

Percy Regrets making Mister a gun

the whole party contributing to Laudna’s resurrection ritual cuz they’re a FAMILY, DAMMIT

Laudna coming to in a place that’s familiar and full of such awful memories, but this time she’s surrounded by the love and devotion of her new family and she is safe

whatever the fuck Delilah may do about the everything, especially being in Whitestone

[salsflore]

ummmm

[ehlnofay]

still thinking about the upsetting npc I had the displeasure of meeting yesterday. fuck the shivering isles

[loumauve]

-

[heartslight]

a letter from @sunhalf that reads “ the truth is: i hated you. i wanted you out of the way. i wanted my life back. “ xion part TWO ( lost prompt. )

aaahh.. it really is such a relief to hear! something that has plagued the both of them / the unmendable rift caused by forces outside of their control — sora’s long wanted to line the pieces up, his and hers. xion had no reason to forgive the cruelties done to her under the masquerade of righteousness, nor would sora expect her to! their hurting will be mended when you return to end it; if they had been forced into sacrifice for the sake of his own life, then didn’t it stand that sora owed them their right for freedom? no more puppets on strings, no more better halves — the past wouldn’t be something that keeps him from moving forward anymore. now they sit in the world of light, all parts equal and true. 

melted ice cream drips down the side of his thumb and sora has to rush to lick it up, nearly dropping the popsicle in the process. ❛ i can’t really blame you! i think anyone would be furious, in that situation. ❜ memory flickers back into the world of sleeping dreams / into the moment when realization had settled upon the braveheart and the cold of dread took hold of his heart; xion had found her own heart, nestled in twilight skies and sea salt.. and it had been ripped away, all for his own sake. ❛ i never knew, not until roxas showed me during the mark of mastery. he shared his memories with me, and seeing all three of you together.. it hit me, how wrong the entire thing was. ❜ maybe it was easy to brush them aside / to pretend like their existences were a more necessary sacrifice because of their ties to the organization, because of their title as nobodies, because they weren’t the heroes of the story.. sora didn’t really understand it. maybe he never would.

❛ it took a lot of tears.. but i’m glad we’re both here, xion. i’m glad i got to finally meet you! ❜ that’s what it meant to be a hero, right? a happy ending achieved —— for the pain to finally be ended. ❛ i’m glad you were able to get back what i took from you. i'm glad you can sit here, and proudly proclaim how you feel! ❜

[blujayonthewing]

..... not me realizing almost none of my characters have anyone they feel like they can talk to and confide in about their own problems.....

[transgenderfivepebbles]

clawing at the walls

[ragnarlothcat]

Omg I lied. I think the part where anakin brings up that conversation he had with the clones with Obi-wan is even better. Obi-wan literally died in that moment but I was LIVING

Oh wait this is you too! I should have answered both asks at the same time. Well, thank you again, you are too kind 🥰 I have a lot of complicated feelings about the Hardeen arc (clearly, since I have been writing about it for over a year) but Obi-Wan's Force ordained punishment is basically sexual frustration/mortification at this point. Anakin is feeling every emotion and keeps touching Obi-Wan, being oddly nice and then yelling at him with no explanation. At least he gets to forget about it after?