#I'm so over privileged men making jokes about it

[ohimsummer]

✎ . . .❝ PUSSY PRIVILEGES ARE GONE ❞

— talking about pussy + one mention of “dick privileges”, whiny satoru, poly! satosugu x afab! reader, serial manspreader + sassy man Suguru, black reader in mind :3

“You can’t do this to me.” Silence. “Baby, pleaseee!”

“Nah.,” you scoff. “Over with, pussy privileges are gone, and that’s final.”

“All because I don’t like the nickname?,” Suguru asks besides you, head cocked like a puppy.

You tug at Satoru’s strong hold around your waist. “Yep. Can’t get a kiss, can’t give my boyfriend a nickname. You two don’t love me anymore.”

Suguru crosses his arms over his chest, sinking further into the couch, traces of a pout falling over his face. He sighs. “What’s wrong with just calling me Sugu?”

You fight helplessly against Satoru, ignoring his continuous whining as he pulls you back into his lap. “What’s wrong with calling you ‘Papa Sugs’?”

“You can’t be serious.”

Huffing, with Satoru’s overdramatic and agonized moaning in the background. “Pft. Imma show you some damn serious.”

Suguru’s chuckle, exasperation creeping up the edges. “Sure. You’re gonna ban us from your pussy for…?”

“Indefinitely.,” you grunt, finally prying yourself from Satoru’s grip in his shock at your response.

“Baby!,” he whines, blinking shiny blue eyes at you beneath white lashes. “Baby, I-“

“Ohhh, so now I’m baby?”, you tease, rolling your eyes. “I wasn’t baby when you weren’t kissing me back, loser.”

“It was a joke!” Gojo puffs out his cheeks. “I’m a changed man, I promise.”

“Oh, okay.,” you smile at the knit of his brows. “You’re gonna be a changed man, alright.”

Satoru falls over into Suguru’s lap, stuffing his face into aforementioned man’s shirt and whining a muffled ,”You sooo hate us.”

“Whatever.,” you brush them off with a wave of your hand, heading to the kitchen. “Consider it a lesson in punishment.”

Six days. Just shy of a week before Suguru shows signs of cracking, because Satoru couldn’t withstand this whole thing to begin with. He’d tried everything from begging to gifts to taking your ‘dick privileges’, and then being immediately thwarted with a flick of your vibrator.

“That thing’s gonna replace us?,” Suguru snorts, nibbling the inside of his cheeks.

“It’ll do for now.,” you giggle with a raise of your chin. In truth, it didn’t even come close, but you’re far too petty to admit that.

“Can’t believe that is gonna get more action than me.,” Satoru groans into the pillows. “I’m gonna die at this rate.”

“Good.,” and he jolts up with wide eyes at your response. “I’ll make an example out of you for Geto.”

Satoru drags himself up to pout in your direction. "You could at least call me Satoru, he's the one you're upset with about names."

"No, first names are for boyfriends only."

Suguru lays sprawled out on the bed, legs spread open in retaliation, tapping around on his phone. "Oh? And when did we lose boyfriend privileges?"

"Since just then."

Both men narrow their eyes at you, glancing at eachother before Suguru massages a temple, lids fluttering as his eyes roll to the back of his head. "Fine, we're terrible boyfriends. Happy now?"

You adjust the towel around your chest, and disappear into the bathroom for a shower. "Nope, but I'm glad y'all know."

Ever dramatic, Satoru points an accusatory finger at Suguru. "This is your fault, she didn't take these privileges until you and that whole Papa Sug nonsense!"

"Well, you started it."

Their bickering raises bouts of giggles in your throat. Water spouts from the shower head when you turn the knob, and you tinker for a few minutes to get it to a temperature of your liking. At the sound of your 'ahem', both men go silent.

"First one to join me in the shower gets pussy privileges ba–“

There's a sound of rapid scuffling, Satoru's 'ow!', and then a flash of dark hair as Suguru slams and locks the door behind him.

"Not fair, I fell!," Satoru whines from the other side, jiggling the knob.

"Desperate are we?," you flash your tongue at Suguru as he strips bare.

"Mm." comes his quiet response, not wanting to fully admit this little game of yours was a lot more painstaking than he let on.

"Does that mean I get to call you Papa Sugs now?" Before he can open his mouth, you add, "If not then you gotta get out."

"Yes, kick him out!," Satoru pipes in, door now wide open and you notice the knob is not as attached as it was before.

Suguru sighs, throwing his shirt in Satoru's face before pinching your waist, and he smirks when you give a small yelp. "Fine."

[fangirl-dot-com]

Chapter 23 - The Dutch Anthem on Repeat

Guys, I think I can finally upload on a regular basis if I can do every Friday and Wednesday? If that's ok? I'm hoping that it will work well for everyone!

This chapter made me laugh, and I remember someone asking for more Grandpa Nando so he makes a good appearance in this one!

Like always, comments, questions, concerns, reblogs and likes are always appreciated! Please enjoy!

Max, along with everyone, was used to hearing the Dutch National Anthem. Sure, everyone joked that it was the Formula 1 outro, but that was life. It wasn’t Max’s fault that he kept winning. Everyone just needed a new and better car to keep up. As he walked into the garage, he knew he was expecting to possibly hear it at the very end of Sunday. 

What he didn’t expect was when his foot hit the concrete, the song started blasting through the speaker. The mechanics were trying to hid giggles behind their hands as they watched the confused driver try to find where the sound was coming from. When it suddenly stopped, he got even more confused. 

He looked at the mechanics. 

“Have you seen the kid anywhere?” 

Henry, one of the men that worked on your car, responded, “She’s been in her room since she got here this morning.” 

Max let out a tight “thanks” before heading that way. He expected you to be hiding something, but you were peacefully taking a nap with your headphones on. The gag gift that he got you, a blanket with his face all over it, was curled up in your hands. His eyes softened as he walked over to gently wake you up. You did promise him lunch for that day. 

He rocked you a bit until you woke up. 

You rubbed your eyes as you sat up. “Hey Max.” 

A yawn escaped your lips. 

“Kid, you don’t have anything to do with the fact that the Dutch anthem played when I walked in?” 

“Huh?” you questioned, still really sleepy. 

Max just let it go. You seemed like you didn’t know what was going on. You quickly got ready, placing your race suit at your hips. 

When Max’s foot hit the concrete again, the anthem started to play. A groan left his lips as you looked around. 

The Dutchman looked down at you. “You had nothing to do with this?” 

You looked up at the older driver. “Nico took my boombox privileges away when I scared him last week.” 

You seemed pretty dejected at the thought of losing your boombox. 

Max just quickly kept walking out of the garage with you on his tail. The two of you conversed as you made your way to hospitality. You knew that Max had the priority for this race. It was his second home and you knew he wanted a win after what happened in Belgium. 

“So I’m thinking of holding a party after Monza at the house. What do you thing?” 

Max thought for a moment. 

“That’s a good idea. You going to take a car to the circuit.” 

You beamed at him. “Thinking of bringing the spaceship. What do you think?” 

Max opened the door to the hospitality, and before he could answer, the Dutch anthem started to play once again. He stopped dead in his tracks, causing you to thud into his back. 

You snorted as you heard the song play, causing Max to whip around. 

His eyebrow arched. “Sure you don’t have anything to do with this?”

You only shook your head before pushing past him, wanting to get lunch as quickly as possible. Max followed, suspiciously glaring at anyone who looked guilty. 

Lando was sitting in the corner, animatedly telling a story to Oscar, who looked dead inside (but was politely listening). 

In the middle, Lewis, Charles, and Carlos were all playing on their phones, empty plates sitting in front of him.

Max’s eyes looked back up to see you talking to Fernando. Your eyes were wide as you talked to the Spaniard. He made his way over to the line and grabbed a tray. With each step he took, he was nervous about setting off something that would start the song. When he walked to the table, he just looked at the chair. 

“Everything all right Max?” Lando asked from the corner, making everyone look at the Dutchman. His cheeks reddened under everyone’s gaze. 

You bit into your sandwich. “Each time he’s walked into or out of a building, the Dutch national anthem plays.” 

“Sure it does,” Charles said, finally looking up from his phone. 

Now annoyed, Max sat down. Surprisingly nothing happened. He let out a content hum before biting into his food. 

However, the moment he took a bite, it stated to play again. Rounds of laughter fell from everyone’s lips as he sat there, looking sad with a bite of food in his mouth. 

Not wanting to sit anymore, he stood up abruptly and walked out with the tray. Yet, the song started over once he opened the door. A loud huff left his lips, which made everyone start laughing again. 

What he failed to notice was a camera set up in the corner of the room. You turned and looked at it, giving it a thumbs up. 

You wiped a tear from your eye. “Aw man, now he’s going to be mad.” You looked at one of the media personelle who was standing in the corner. He took the camera and just gave you a smile. 

“He’ll be mad at us, not at you.” 

You crossed your arms, not convinced in the slightest. Fernando gave you an upside down smile. 

“Come on niña, I’ll take you to Max.” 

He stood from the table, waiting for you to follow. Yet, you shook your head. 

“Nando, he’s going to be mad and all grumpy and I’m going to be at the receiving end of it in the car. He’s taken Charles out too many times.” 

“Hey!” 

Your eyebrows pinched as you looked up at the green-clad driver. Your eyes then looked back down at your food. 

Fernando sighed, knowing you weren’t going to budge. He turned around and walked out, without the Dutch national anthem playing. He stalked toward the Red Bull garage and was able to walk in. 

Every loved Fernando and had great respect for him. 

“Anyone know where I can find Max?” 

Christian spoke up from the corner. “He’s in his room. Is everything ok?” 

Fernando sighed as he rubbed his head. “For a prank, they got someone to play the Dutch National anthem every time Max did something. He got tired of it, so he stormed out. Now the kid thinks that he’s going to be mad at her all weekend. I’m just here to explain because she’s a bit nervous.” 

Christian had a sympathetic look on his face. He was sad that you thought that Max would ever be mad at you for something so trivial. 

The Briton nodded his head in the direction of Max’s driver room. “Second door on the left.” 

Fernando thanked him, before heading that way. He knocked once before the door swung open, sadly causing the anthem to play once again. 

Max deadpanned as he waited for the song to stop. 

“Is everything ok Fernando?” the Dutchman asked, trying to look around to see if you were there as well. His heart sank a bit when you weren’t seen. 

The elder sighed. “So your team thought it’d be a good video to play the anthem every time you did something.” 

Max winced. “Oh I know.” 

Fernando looked at him weirdly. 

“You don’t think I saw the dude with the camera in the corner of the garage or hospitality?” 

The Spaniard nodded. He knew a thing or two for spotting cameras on him. You get used to it after being in the field for so long. 

“Well, the kid thinks you were going to be mad if you knew that she was in on it.” 

Max’s eyebrows rose and his eyes widened. “Oh no no no. Doesn’t she know when I can tell that she’s not sleeping? She’s taken so many naps around me, that I know when she’s actually asleep.” 

Max had known from the beginning, since you never woke up so quickly. It always took a few nudges, not just one. And your headphones were off and you barely flinched when he approached you. He was actually amused that you had gone through all the trouble to seem innocent.

Fernando let out a long sigh. “I told her that you wouldn’t be angry or frustrated.” 

Max had a determined look. “Let’s go find her. She’s probably either in the Ferrari garage or McLaren.” 

“She’s in the Williams garage.” 

Max turned around. “How do you know this?” 

“It was supposed to be a joke, but she put me on her Life360. Said I was getting old and was at a higher risk of crashing outside of work.” 

Max let out a deep laugh at the imagination of you downloading Life360 onto Fernando’s phone. 

The two walked out of the garage (this time the anthem did not play) and toward Williams. The two got to catch up on something before they arrived. 

They saw the Thai driver first. 

“Alex have you see Y/n anywhere?” Max questioned, catching him off guard. 

He said nothing, but subtly tilted his head toward the back where Logan was awkwardly standing behind a box. Max’s eyes lit up at he looked at the American, who had a nervous look on his face. 

Max put a finger to his lips and saw Logan barely nod. He gingerly crossed the room and looked down. Behind said box, you were clinging to Logan’s leg, playing a game. 

He heard you snicker to yourself. “Max will never find me here.” 

“Sure kid.” 

He could have sworn he saw your soul leave your body as you jumped off of Logan’s leg. The American rolled his eyes before lifting you off the ground and placing you in front of the Dutch driver.

“I think this belongs to you.” 

All in the back, Fernando and Alex stood laughing behind their hands. 

You looked back at Logan. “Traitor.”

“Come on kid.” 

Max gently led you back to the Red Bull garage, but not without thanking Fernando for his help. The Spaniard only patted his back before returning to his own garage. Max watched as you begrudgingly walking in front of him. He quickened his steps to be right beside you. 

“I can hear your grumpiness from over here,” he tried to joke, yet stopped when he saw barely there tears in your lash line. 

He cooed as he tried to not let you cry.

“Kid I thought it was funny.” 

“Are you sure? You looked super unhappy after lunch.” You looked down and kicked a stone. 

“Y/n.” 

Oh, he said the name (and not the nickname). 

You sheepishly looked up at him. 

“I’m not mad. And if I was, I’d take it out on the media team and not you.” 

You smiled just a bit. “Promise?” 

“Promise. Now, let’s go kick some ass so we can listen to the Dutch National Anthem on the podium.” 

Race Results: 

Max Verstappen – 25 points 

Y/n L/n – 18 points 

Charles Leclerc – 16 points (fastest lap) 

Lewis Hamilton – 12 points 

Oscar Piastri – 11 points 

Alex Albon – 8 points 

George Russell – 6 points 

Logan Sargeant – 4 points 

Lance Stroll – 2 points 

Lando Norris – 1 point 

Fernando Alonso 

Niko Hulkenberg 

Kevin Magnussen 

Daniel Ricciardo 

Pierre Gasly 

Yuki Tsunoda 

Esteban Ocon

Valtteri Bottas 

Zhou Guanyu 

Carlos Sainz – DNF (engine failure) 

Champions Standings 

Max Verstappen – 309 points 

Charles Leclerc – 268 points 

Lando Norris – 190 points 

Y/n L/n – 181 points 

Carlos Sainz – 130 points 

Oscar Piastri – 118 points 

Lewis Hamilton – 105 points 

Alex Albon – 56 point 

George Russell – 54 points 

Fernando Alonso – 45 points 

Logan Sargeant – 36 points 

Daniel Ricciardo – 23 points 

Lance Stroll – 17 points 

Pierre Gasly - 12 points 

Valtteri Bottas – 13 points 

Yuki Tsunoda – 8 points

Zhou Guanyu – 1 point 

Nico Hulkenberg 

Kevin Magnussen 

Esteban Ocon 

Constructors Championship 

 Red Bull – 490 points 

Ferrari – 398 points 

McLaren – 308 points 

Mercedes – 159 points 

Williams – 92 points 

Aston Martin – 62 points 

Alpha Tauri – 31 points 

Alpha Romeo – 14 points 

Alpine – 12 points 

Haas – 0 points 

The cool wind of the Netherlands brushed up against your face as you stood on the second step. If your math was correct, you were still behind Lando in the championship by only 9 points. You’d make it up as long as you didn’t DNF for the rest of the season. 

You smiled as you heard the Dutch National Anthem for the umpteenth time that day. Your shoulders started to shake as it continued playing, which made Charles look at you and start laughing as well. Max watched with a grin on his face as you couldn’t contain yourself.

To the people down below, it looked like you were crying since you were wiping tears away (which you were, but the tears were from laughing too hard). Their hearts ached as you were on the second step once again, and not the top one. 

But, you were having the time of your life, spraying Max and Charles with loads of champagne. You were on a high right now, and nothing would stop it. You knew that later that night, you’d stay awake going over data and sim times. 

Because that second step was sweet, but the top step would be even sweeter. 

And you needed the win. 

You were starving. 

redbullracing has posted

redbullracing no broken trophies this year - orange army you were good to us

liked by y/n.nation, dutch4max, orangearmynation, and 390,204 others

maxmaxmax_super DUTCH ANTHEM YASSSSS

maxie&kid best 1-2 honestly

lastlap_lando NOT THE BROKEN TROPHIES COMMENT

landonorris how many times do I have to apologize?

y/n.89 give it a few years, he still hasn't forgiven me for accidentally eating his stroopwaffle maxverstappen1 BECAUSE IT WAS THE LAST ONE y/n.89 YOUR NAME WASN'T ON IT

y/n&co when are RB going to give her a win?? for real???

best_rookie ROOKIE WIN ROOKIE WIN ROOKIE WIN

y/n.nation WE NEED A WIN?? ADMIN? AUTHOR?? author CALL DOWN - LET ME COOK

autodromonazionale_monza a presto! Viaggi sicuri!

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[drdemonprince]

this will sound like one of those "let men be masculine" level niche internet community brained posts, but i honestly really was embarrassed of how much i like drag for a while. in the circles that i run in, liking drag too much is seen as pretty cringey and for wealthy cis gays. like everybody knows a few cool avante garde local performers that they fuck with who run queer dance parties that are inclusive and the like, but very few people that i know will just go to a drag show at an entertainment or social engagement for their own sake. it's almost seen as a tourist thing, a normie gay thing.

but its one of the few spaces where i can actually recognize a lot of feminine men and nonbinary man-thing-girly-freaks like of the particular type that i am. leather bars are so masc and buff and im often invisible. bear bars are really nice and i do feel welcome there! but people are only feminine in their mannerisms, not presentation very often. the more explicitly gender inclusive trans/queer spaces cater to more of a wlw and adjacent crowd whose relationships to masculinity and femininity are different from mine. circuit gay bars are obviously terrible.

drag is nice. there's guys with weird little haircuts and long earrings who aren't buff and are swishy and dress interestingly but are a little uncomfortable as their regular selves and have to don alternate personas in order to be outgoing. and i even like that it's okay to be bitchy and insulting sometimes in drag world, like sometimes that is just your genuine feedback on the work someone has done and it's not the end of the world. there's lot of open conflict in the drag world that actually works out pretty alright.

it's a local nightlife scene like all the rest, its got its theater kid bullshit and egos and superficiality out the ass and so many people are trying to be famous or make money, but even to this day i forget that i can just be a really weird feminine guy until i'm around some of them and watching them prance about. i worry about how i look or am being read and then even just watching a fucking drag race episode i'll see like 9 different guys who are so fucking androgynous with their weird assymetrical self cut haircuts that they pass less than i do and they're cis men. they have bodies or faces like i do. and in the local scene it's obviously even better because you're looking at real life people. maybe i should be over it by now but im not, i need to see weird little awkward feminine guys with funny outfits playing dress up and crying and fighting with one another because they never got over their last picked in gym class baggage. its meeee i relateee. i even like that its a little toxic! we've got some issues out here, let's joke with them and make a character of them instead of pretending to be nice!!

i tend to be pretty skeptical of "representation matters!" type shit but part of that is probably because i never really feel represented. i know, boo hoo, thin white man doesnt feel depicted on screen, sounds very silly. but then i see kade gottmik on drag race and i swell with emotion and suddenly feel like who i am is POSSIBLE in this world and i realize that even with all my privileges i am starved for representation and that it does benefit you to have it. theres trans guys on screen but thats not close enough to ping that ooh!!! ahh!!! i can love myself!! radar for me. it has to be a very particular kinda person. matt bernstein makes me feel similarly

[olderthannetfic]

Pronoun discourse is just as exhausting in person. A trans girl in my group project for History of Modern Europe refused to use he/him for me because "they/them is neutral" and I looked her in the eyes and said, "I will not reply to group texts, upload anything or share resources if you don't refer to me correctly. I use silence to train my dogs, I use it to train transmisandrists, too." She was furious and spent a few weeks misgendering me... until she realized I was serious and I would let all of us fail this group project because this he/him? Yeah, this he/him had a 100 on every single assignment up until that point and could take the grade hit. If other people can't, well, that's not my problem.

She learned to call me he/him with incredible regularity once her grade was on the line. Suddenly, two words weren't incredibly hard to recall and abruptly, not every conversation with her turned into her lecturing me on how trans women have it harder than trans men. We were able to talk about the actual subject of the group assignment and she was able to remember he/him.

Meanwhile, the cishet members of the group had not struggled to recall he/him for me once, nor had they turned group project meetings into discourse once.

Why are queer people always most vicious with their fellow queers? I'm in MONTANA, and the people worst to me aren't the fucking rednecks, it's other queer people. Rednecks don't condescend to me about how they/them is neutral and good and indicates they're trying their best and trans men have it easy actually. It's the city queers sitting there going, "Rather than just call you he/him and spend this meeting for our group project focusing on the project, I'm going to treat you like the enemy and lecture you." People talk about the concept of a 'queer community' but getting lectured about how trans women have it worse than trans men (because I guess my saying 'use my pronouns' secretly implies I think trans men have it worse? idk, I don't speak bullshitese) doesn't make me go, "Ah, yes. My community! I feel so supported!" it makes me go, "Oh, fuck. Great, I'm stuck talking to an asshole."

Between this, the lesbians I've met on campus who keep making, "gays can't do math or science or history or whatever other subject we're in right now" jokes who seethe with contempt for the privileged gay men, the cis gay guys terrified of doing something perverted who view drag, cosplay, wearing a skirt, wearing makeup or fucking around with presentation at all as not okay/possibly problematic and the NBs who cannot emphasize enough to you that they're one of the good ones who don't dye their hair or wear stupid shit or use neopronouns like the bad ones do, and the utter disgust they all look at anyone with who dares use the word queer, I'm beginning to feel like "the queer community" is one of those things you don't get access to until you're 30+. Alternatively "the queer community" appears to "antis, but with rainbows and flags and ew you think the rainbow flag is for everyone you're so problematic", which is... not great, honestly?

I know this will get a lot of queer people very angry but I'll say it: there are 492 anti-queer laws proposed in the USA, not counting the ones that have passed. We should probably focus on that instead of going for each other's throats and then saying we're a "community".

--

I don't think it will get many queer people around here angry, but yes.

We have more of a need to draw together into a community when everyone's dying of AIDS or getting beaten up or trying to stop laws that make it illegal for us to exist.

Some people have the privilege to shit all over that community. They don't see it as one, but it is.

[the-scooby-gang]

Character assassination and delayed puberty: VelmaHBO mishandling of Fred Jones

As I write the "I watched Velma HBO so you don't have too" reviews for episode 1 and 2, I decided to post this thought process I had regarding Fred's mischaracterization and, specifically, about the choice of giving him delayed puberty.

In the show, Mindy Kaling's self insert (because that ain't Velma in this or in the next life) comes to the conclusion that Fred is such a "spoiled white privileged brat" that his body didn't see the point of growing up at all.

First of all: Fuck that

Second of all: Whose brilliant idea (we all know who, but lets pretend for a second here) was it to turn FRED JONES: cheerleader; net lover; circus enjoyer; himbo friend; golden retriever sunshine boy and "I love my friends and my van so much you guys" into THIS?!?!

Is it because he is white, blond and has blue eyes???? Because it would be easy to make him into a caricature of white supremacy???

Yes. That's exactly why they changed Fred. Because it was easy.

I will go deeper on this in the full review of episode 1 and 2 (god help me) but this whole show is written in the most lazy way possible with jokes that would have fit perfectly in a edgy early 2000s show, where characters become those straw men versions of liberals conservatives IMAGINE exist.

Where people of color complain all the time about white supremacy but don't go deeper into it, its just complaining for the sake of complaining;

Where they bring genuine arguments people make but with zero nuance or though behind them, instead the writers put what THEY imagine it is about and, 99.9% of the time, they attribute it to people being "tOo sEnSiTiVe" and " tRiGgErEd SnOwFlAkEs"

Where people blow things out of proportion and accuse people left and right of being fascists (when they call Fred "Hitler" the background character says "he looks like Hitler. And I'm not just saying that because we call anyone Hitler nowadays") completely disregarding the WHY people in real life are calling out fascist behavior when they see it. Hello rise of fascism happening on the world, how is the INVASION OF CAPITOL IN AMERICA and THE INVASION AND DEPREDATION OF THE PLANALTO IN BRAZIL going for you?!;

This show is Family Guy. I would say it's worse than Family Guy even.

Third of all: Delayed puberty is an Actual Thing That Happens To People. It's something that can happen at random or it can be a genetic disorder shared in the family. It can be a symptom of something way more serious or something benign.

Many people that suffer from delayed puberty suffer from low self esteem because they have to watch their friends grow and develop when the same thing's not happening to them. They may feel like they're never going to catch up.

People are bullied over this, people develop depression.

And now these people are the punch line of this mean spirited joke.

I can even envision a better show where Fred still has delayed puberty, but instead of being the butt of jokes where people keep commenting on the size of the penis of this HIGH SCHOOLER, they treat as the constitutional delay it is. Fred is a late bloomer. It may be caused by a pattern of growth and development in his family, it may be a chronic illnesses he has. Can you imagine Fred with something like asthma or diabetes?

Lets go with that, lets imagine a Fred with diabetes, who is not receiving a proper treatment for said diabetes (maybe because his parents subscribe to that style of parenting where they are more concerned about appearances than the well being of their kid. "No, he has no problem. He is a perfectly healthy Jones."

Or they are the kind that say shit like this: "He doesn't have blurry vision he is just a lazy student, that's an excuse," or "You would stop going so much to the bathroom to piss if you stoped drinking water all the time" or even "I told you to not stay awake all night on those weird net making websites, now you're tired in class. What kind of mother they must think I am..." "But I didn't stay up all night, I swear–" "Don't you lie to me Frederick") and as such the side effects and symptoms are left unchecked.

So the Fred Velma, and we the audience, are introduced too is the heir of this fortune... who can't stay standing because he is constantly tired, has completely given up on trying to apply himself on school because he can't see the fucking board his vision is so blurry, has passed out at least once in gym, drinks water like he lives in a dessert and is so self conscious about his body that even his girlfriend hasn't seen him shirtless even once. The swim team hasn't seen him shirtless even once, so there are these whiplash inducing photos in the year book where is a bunch of guys in speedos nest to this one dude in an early 20th century striped swimming suit.

In episode 1 itself Velma's vision of Fred can start biased, after all from a distance a person that doesn't know Fred personally can chalk his behavior to "rich dramatic boy that knows he doesn't need to put effort into learning since he already has a fortune guaranteed for him after all this, so he is just sleeping and vibing and being dramatic through high school" but as the episode progresses and she gets to know Fred, she notices that the image doesn't fit. Fred, who has such in depth knowledge about physics and mechanics, who clearly loves his girlfriend very much and feels bad about the murder of this girl he considered a friend. The image of "Rich guy that doesn't care" is not fitting.

I want it to be a Velma and Daphne epiphany. About Daphne talking about all these things Fred has told her or that she noticed about him to Velma as they look for clues and it hits Velma as a she connects all together. The tiredness, the pissing, the thirst, the blurry vision.

Daphne may have not seen it because she is too close but with Velma's outside perspective the pieces fall into place.

Now lets imagine that instead of cop lesbian moms, Daphne could have lesbian doctor/nurse moms. They take him to them and they give him what he desperately needed:

"No, dear. You're not lazy, or broken, or an attention seeker, or any other bullshit your parents called you. You have diabetes. Type 1 to be precise."

After Daphne and Velma hug a crying Fred until he has no more tears to give, the series progresses with Fred now treating his diabetes as one of its recurring plot lines.

I want Daphne to have extra insulin in her purse, I want Shaggy to help Fred with his new diet, I want Fred and Velma to go exercising together and have deep conversations about body image and how they deal with it (Fred with his delayed puberty, Velma with her extra weight)

"Mature" and "Adult" content doesn't need to be edgy sex-violence-and-drugs.

It can be simply a story of a high schooler having to deal with diabetes in a country were insulin is expensive as fuck, some parents are more willing to let their kids suffer than offer any kind of help or even admit that there may be a problem in the first place, of dealing with body image and things that are out of your control.

Just a thought.

This is a post by The-Scooby-Gang, thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[just-wrting]

Best Friend?

Title: Best Friend?

Pairing: Real-life AU! Portgas D Ace x Reader

Summary: After finding out how horrible your brother is, you vent to your best friend. Turns out, he's been hiding something from you.

Word Count: 1657

Master List

A/N: Alright. I've done it. I've admitted that I'm into 2D men. This prompt is today's actual prompt due to this coming easier than yesterday's prompt. Still expect 2 fics in one day later this week.

The line between the two of you has been blurred for at least a few months. You’ve done things with Ace that you haven’t done with your other friends. Given that he lives next door, that was understandable. He’d stay for hours talking to you through the window. Other times, he’d sneak in and you’d watch movies together. The number of times you’d fall asleep leaning on him was uncountable.

Neither of you acknowledge this. You’re worried that if you say something, he’ll get grossed out. You don’t think you could stand losing such an important friend.

The sound of bickering drifts through your open window, and you know everyone is home. You wish you had their sort of bond. Your brother is your biggest problem, and you did your best to avoid him. Nothing would make you happier than him moving out.

Ace sometimes jokes about the two of you moving away from your siblings to a quiet place. While the idea is tempting, you both know that for now it’s just an idea. College is a struggle even without rent.

After the noise goes down, you watch Ace nearly slam his door shut. You can practically see steam rolling off him, and you know that the argument didn’t go in his favor. In an effort to cheer him up, you chuck a pebble at his window.

As soon as he sees you, he lights up. He throws his window open and gives you a big grin.

“(Y/N)! Don’t tell me you heard everything?”

The way the sun shines on his face makes him look radiant. He’s definitely a charmer.

“Nope. What was it about?”

He sheepishly looks away. “I don’t know what I’m going to eat. No one’s gonna cook anything since most of them are going out tonight.”

“Of course you were fighting over food. You three boys eat more than my whole family combined,” you say with a chuckle. “I’d offer for you to come over, but I’m sure that my brother would throw a fit.”

“Well let me know if you change your mind on that. You and I can go get something.”

Now you’re sporting an equally wide grin. “Tempting offer, Ace.”

“Just you, me, and some of the most unhealthy food you’ll ever see. I haven’t even taken Luffy or Sabo there.”

“Don’t tell them that. But as much as I want to, I shouldn’t. Maybe next time.”

Now, he’s pouting. Despite being an adult, he’s decently childish. In fact, he’s adorable when he’s like this and you can feel yourself caving. What would be so wrong to say yes? Why couldn’t you get the same privileges as your brother?

“You promise?”

“Of course. You know how difficult it is to say no to you,” you tease.

Your mom calls you downstairs, and you wave goodbye. Ace leans out his window, pouting the whole time. The guilt will bother you for a bit, but he’s never made you feel bad about not accepting plans.

You frown at the table spread. Dinner plans have changed, with food you don’t enjoy sitting on trivets. A smirk is plastered unpleasantly across your brother's face.

“How long have you been dating the neighbor boy? What’s his name?” your dad asks, setting the newspaper down. “Portgas Ace or something, right?”

You rest your hands on the back of your seat. “Ace and I are just friends.”

“Well, honey, it might be good for you to start dating. After all college is almost over,” your mom chimes in. “You’re only this young once.”

Your brother snorts. “Dating isn’t possible for that one I’m afraid. (Y/N) should’ve just said yes when Jeffery asked.”

Your blood turns to ice. “How did you know about that? He asked me not to tell anyone. I never even told my friends about it.”

He now looks like a deer in headlights. “Of course he told me. He’s gotta ask me first.”

“Yeah right. That was supposed to be some sort of prank, wasn’t it?” you hiss.

“You know what? Yeah! It was a prank. I figured that at the very least maybe you wouldn’t end up being single and pathetic.”

You don’t reply and just storm out the door. You make sure to slam it on your way out, and you’re tempted to swear at them. If your parents knew about it, they’re amazing actors. Their shock seemed almost genuine.

Not knowing where to go, you just start walking down the sidewalk. It doesn’t take long for footsteps to race after you. You ignore whoever it is, and keep going. It’s not until you’re spun around that you stop.

“Something wrong?”

You’ve never seen Ace look so worried. Part of you wants to have him hold you. Another part wishes he wouldn’t ask. Apparently the look on your face says enough.

“I’m still hungry. Wanna go get dinner now?”

You don’t say anything, instead just nodding. His hand is gentle as he gets you to the car. It’s an old car, but it’s comfortable and smells like him. The leather is surprisingly soft and you let yourself relax.

You watch Ace while he drives. There’s something about the wind in his hair and the sun on his skin that makes you realize just how attractive he is. The dusting of freckles across his face really highlights just how cute he is.

“Do you always watch people when they drive?” He gives you a cheeky smile and a wink. “Or am I just special?”

“You’re just special. Besides those brothers of yours, I don’t know a single person who can eat as much as you do and still look good.”

“Oh so I look good. That’s why you’re watching me.”

Rolling your eyes, you swat away his hand. “If you wanna believe that.”

Ace pulls into a little parking lot, swerving to avoid a hole. His parking is terrible, but it works. Ever the gentleman, he rushes to open the car door for you.

“I’d like to think that it's true. After all, you don’t usually give me compliments.”

The food is made fast, and the servings are surprisingly large. Despite how hot it is, Ace starts to pick at his food. He makes a face, yet continues to eat.

“If you’re gonna wait to eat, you wanna talk about it?” he asks, nearly choking on a French fry. “I’ll listen.”

“A couple of weeks ago, one of my brother’s friends asked me out.”

This time, he starts to cough. The man behind the counter eyes him for a second, but thankfully Ace is fine. You didn’t think he’d react like that, so you hesitantly start to eat as you wait.

“I told him I wasn’t interested. He asked me not to tell anyone, so I didn’t. Turns out the whole thing was a set up. After all, who’d wanna date me?”

Ace is silent. He occasionally looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. Instead, he polishes off his food and starts to grab at yours.

“I can’t believe my brother would go that far. Like sure it can suck to have a sibling, but you and your brothers care so much about each other. Maybe it’s because you chose to be brothers.”

“To be fair, I still think Luffy is a crybaby. He’ll never live that one down no matter what he does.”

“Is there something terrible about me?” you ask. “Maybe that’s why no one wants to date me.”

Ace is quick to shake his head and respond, “There’s nothing bad about you! Anyone would be lucky to date someone like you, (Y/N).”

Before you can stop it, you blurt out the question you’ve been avoiding for weeks. “Would you date me, Ace?”

You can’t even look at him as silence settles between you. His finger taps against the table, and you feel awful. The way you said it was harsher than you meant. Not to mention the fact that your friendship could be over.

“Yes. I thought we already were dating though. I was just waiting for you to be ready to kiss me.”

Looking up at him, you can see a flush spread across his cheeks and down his neck. Ace isn’t even looking at you, his head resting on his hand, turning his face away. He’s covering his mouth like he’s worried he’ll say something you won’t like. What little resolve he might have, crumbled the moment you make eye contact.

“I don’t let just anyone take my stuff or hug me or say weird things to me. I thought you’ve just been nervous this whole time.”

You think back to all of those slightly awkward moments. The times that he’d look up at you from the windowsill right before he sneaks back out, almost like he’s expecting a goodbye kiss. The moments that you’d pull him in for a hug and his hands linger even after you pull back. All of the pauses before he said your name, almost like he meant to say something else.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” you prod. “If you thought we were dating, shouldn’t you have made it super obvious?”

“I thought you were taking it slow because you were scared of your family. I figured if I said something you’d break up with me.”

“So what do we do now? Even if you were wrong, do you actually want to date me? Officially?”

Ace looks more excited than you’ve ever seen him. His hand is quick to grab yours, and you’re sure if it wasn’t for the table he’d be kissing you, not that he doesn’t try.

“Now that it’s official, I’m gonna be the best boyfriend ever.”

For the rest of the night, his hand never leaves yours. Every opportunity to show you affection is taken, which leaves you flustered. Nothing makes you more nervous than having a cute guy kiss you.

[punkeropercyjackson]

Luke stans are genuinely so stupid.They love talking about how their fave's a revolutionary and radicalized them but literally all he did was say propaganda and grooming tactics and just LIE and they fell for it hook line and sinker because he's a palpable victim.'Why did Rick frame Luke as the bad guy for hating the gods?!'He didn't,Percy hates the gods too and did from the start UNlike Luke because he's had a harder life than him even in TLT and he's the hero and mc because he actually took it out on the gods and tried to fix the system which Luke DIDN'T and that's not liberalism,it's Luke being an illustration into fascism by cishet white men who think the entire world is against them when they have everything and take their pain out on the vulnerable people around them they have enough privilege and power over instead of the ones who made them feel that way.Pretty often,Luke exhibits(in-universe style)god behavior despite claiming to be against and cryptofash are like that irl too

And the whole 'Him being in love with Annabeth was gross and out of nowhere!'......Really guys,really?Pedophiles don't just out and announce themselves as pedos,they hide in plain sight by pretending to love their victims and be trustworthy to make it easier to hurt them.That's deadass what he did to Silena,which started BEFORE the series and what he did non-sexually to Ethan and Chris by getting to be child soldiers for him under false promises-His promise to Annabeth and Thalia was fake too.But his disgusting ass attractions to all those lil girls(Annabeth,Thalia,Silena AND maybe Kelli who looks like a high school freshman no problem)weren't.Luke didn't radicalize you but Percy did radicalize me and that's why i can tell Luke wasn't right,he was far-right and that's why no punks take you seriously.All you did was fall for in-universe propaganda in a kids book series from thee most conformist and violent character in it and not do irl activism or direct action because of it.Please take your leave and i'm not joking

[caparrucia]

I've gotten quite a few new followers recently, so I think one of my posts broke containment...

Lemme just.

Take a few proverbial shots in the air:

Trans rights are human rights.

Transmen are men, but they exist within the transphobic clutches of the patriarchy and pretending they have "male privilege" instead of being punished for failing to conform to toxic masculinity makes you sound like someone who's never been in touch with the community IRL.

Trans women are women! They're not inherently predatory and if such a thing as "male socialization" exists, it does not confer them power, but rather punishes them for failing to perform masculinity.

Nonbinary, genderqueer and genderfluid are distinct, valid and separate identities that often overlap but which do not constitute a "third gender" around which to build another stupid gender dichotomy.

Queer is not a slur, it's an umbrella term. If you do not wish to belong to the queer community that is your prerogative, but you do not get to tell MY community that we shouldn't exist because our language makes you uncomfortable.

Acephobia is fucking pathetic and you're a pathetic dork for committing it. Aces, Aros and Demis belong in the Queer community and their struggles are no less real because you want to be a dick about it.

I'm not American. The fact I'm forced to know and keep up with American politics while the average American pretends my country is either a tourist attraction or a humanitarian crisis zone, is in fact a sign of American colonialism and I'm not going to sugar coat it if it makes you uncomfortable to be reminded of it.

Mexican Americans are not Mexican. They're American, with Mexican ancestry. If you center their voices over my own people's when speaking about my own country, I will fucking fist-fight you.

Race is not a game of rock-paper-scissors and intersectionality is not about keeping score about whose opinions are deemed blanket correct without a second thought.

People's existence is not in itself an act of activism, so for the love of fuck, stop being weird to strangers who are just vibing and calling them "brave" and "inspirational" just because they allow themselves to exist in public. You sound like a tool.

Israel is committing a genocide. It is not antisemitic to point out that Israel is in fact doing a genocide. The solution to Israel committing a genocide is not to be antisemitic.

There are in fact several genocides currently on going: Sudan, Ukraine, Nigeria, Afghanistan, Syria, North Korea, Myanmar, India, China, Ethiopia and Congo, just to name a few. It is not racist to point it out. But it is racist to reduce any of them to merely a snarky remark in an attempt to prove how not racist you are. It is extra racist to say "other genocides" without acknowledging them specifically.

There's still hasn't been a situation where siding with the people committing the genocide turned out to be the right choice.

There's no such thing as a funny genocide joke.

No, not even that one. It's a genocide, it is inherently unfunny and if you consider that a challenge, you have lost the plot.

Primarily, though, this is a fandom blog.

Fandom is not activism and if you think it is, you owe me fucking reparations for the stupidity. If you argue about the well-being of fictional characters at the cost of real people, we're gonna have problems.

Neither you nor I are obligated to make every part of our presence online about the human rights violation of the hour. It's okay if you curate a space that exists only to make you feel better. This is my feel better corner. I will talk about things that are important to me, but that doesn't mean I'm obligated to talk about all the things that are important to me.

I reblog art I like, tumblr posts I find funny, the occasional rant and the fic I write in my spare time.

If you like my shit? Cool. Consider throwing a tip my way if you like.

But I'm not a news outlet, and unless I'm quoting extensively and providing and citing sources, I'm talking out of my ass because it's my own corner of the internet and that's what I do here.

I've been on the internet since 1998, I promise you whatever has you in a frothing rage is neither new nor unnuanced. Please assess if it's worth spending your limited time on this earth getting angry at strangers on the internet.

It sure as fuck isn't worth mine.

[bruciemilf]

bestie how do u think the batfam reacts to wonderbat

- quinsly

*INHALES AGRESSIVELY* WONDER MOM WONDER MOM WONDER MOM-

Dick:

SO HAPPY for Bruce but constantly teases; " If his crippling control issues aren't a deal breaker, his music taste will be" and Diana just kinda tilts her head like a puppy in her MCR shirt and is like " I love them! They sound tragic"

Absolutely gives Diana tips and advice on how to woo Bruce; He's not sure how you can improve WONDER WOMAN, but he's flattered she thinks he's the man for the job

Just excited to brag to the titans, " Well, she's not KORI but you know; Not everyone's as lucky as me"

Jason:

HELLO?! HELLOOOOO? Jason is losing his mind obvi. He has no idea how Bruce pulled it off (He does know; His father is honest, quietly kind, brave in a way thats terrifying and stupid, and infuriatingly endearing. Plus he's big on justified violence, which women always find attractive)

Is. So so so shy around Diana at the beginning. Hiding behind Bruce or Alfred (even Dami, one time), not exchanging more than a few words (usually very quick and unintelligible) before running off

This leads to Diana thinking Jason doesn't like her and she wants to talk about this, because, young warrior my heart is with your father; I don't need your permission, but I'd like to know why you dislike me :(

Jason just pulls up his sleeve, shows his wonder woman tattoo with a blank face, says " I love you so much I had a crush on you since I was 6, but I want you to be my mom. Not mommy. That'd be weird." and power walks away, looking for the nearest highway

Finds his childhood slingshot and points it directly between Bruce's eyes " Make like Beyonce and put a ring on it"

Damian:

Respects Diana a lot but will always prefer Talia; Diana isn't bothered by that and finds Damians loyalty to his mama so adorable, " Good sons make good men ^_^ good job" "... please don't do that. You're giving me positive emotions and I'm not build for those."

Demands a duel for " The privilege to court my father. Woman or Goddess, you must prove your worth" but it's the equivalent of a puppy playing tag with an angry kitten

She takes him out for ice cream and he spills about Bruce being a sappy bastard when talking about her sjsjsjs

Tim, Cass,Duke, and Steph

Tim and Steph making " you can do better" jokes @ Diana but no one's allowed to agree; I feel like Steph is just as much of a fangirl as Jason is and she fainted when she found Diana in their kitchen, watching Bruce make pancakes, OBVIOUSLY a " we spent the night together" breakfast

Tim and Diana bond over sharing embarassing Bruce stories and I NEED Diana to be the old lady who can't figure out technology

Can she punch a crater in the middle of new York and make you sweat with merely dissaproving look? Yes. Does she need to call Tim everytime to change her profile picture and look for stuff on YouTube? Yes

Diana and Duke PUPPY FRIENDSHIP! Diana reassuring Duke that she knows what alienation and loneliness feels like, and it's not a pain he has to deal with on his own

" You're enough; You've always been enough. And your father and family love you dearly, - you're the light that keeps us out of darkness. Be proud of that"

Cass and Diana but it's the " when you're a queen and you meet another queen and you talk about battle strategies" meme <333 legends recognise legends

Cass thinks she's the coolest ever, but, " What you do to him? I do to you." Without a hint of fear; There's a collective agreement around the ground. Diana smiles. She'll fit in just okay

[oceantornadoo]

ttpd 141 x f!reader

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) is soooooo dark outlaw au with any of the 141 fr (headcanons and lyrics below the cut)

The smoke cloud billows out his mouth Like a freight train through a small town The jokes that he told across the bar Were revolting and far too loud

he's always smoking in the corner of your saloon, pulling you onto his lap and giving you crude compliments in front of customers. calloused fingers cupping you pussy over your barmaid skirt, asking if she misses him , if she's hungry for his cock. he jokes with his crew that you'd let him fuck you right there, pull your dress down and your tits out, and all you can do is let your cheeks warm and tuck your chin because it's true. the town turns a blind eye because he'd whip out his pistol before they could open their mouths.

His hand so calloused from his pistol Softly traces hearts on my face And I could see it from a mile away A perfect case for my certain skill set

but when you're alone, in that shack you call a home or on the road, camping outside in the desert, he's the sweetest he'll ever be. traces patterns on your skin after making love, whispering how he's gonna make an honest woman out of you soon, just give him a while to find a perfect ring. he doesn't talk about his feelings much, no tears shed here, but you know about friends gone too soon, the men he sees as brothers, the loneliness he's endured. he massages your aches during your monthlies, not shying from the bloody battles you faced. he's seen worse, seen the west chew men up and spit them up, but here, this is the only blood that matters.

--

i know this song is (probably) about matty healy so i'd like to say that i am NOT A FAN OF HIM (and never have been tbh). i'd say i'm a pretty big taylor swift fan but i refuse to idolize her and when you contextualize this song, she has a lot of white privilege to think racist mindsets are somewhat sexy and can be "fixed" by a lover/her. for these two albums, i am choosing to apply them to fictional characters instead :) and encourage yall to do the same lol

[solarmorrigan]

I’ve just read made with love (and yarn) and it’s absolutely fantastic but it also made me think: Eddie gifting Steve his very own hellfire shirt and Steve wearing it but everyone just assumes that Steve is wearing Eddie’s shirt and they’re all just very nonchalantly *shoulder shrug* “guess they’re together now”

So when Eddie and Steve actually get together nobody is surprised because “we knew for months already” and Steve and Eddie are very confused because “we’ve been together for two weeks?”

Hellohellohello I am sorry I sat on this for, like, a month, but Anon, you gave me An Idea. And then life intervened and it took me forever to write it, but! It's finally done and thank you very much because it was great fun to write (and I'm so glad you liked the other story, too, thank you for saying so <3)

-

The kids aren’t oblivious. They have eyes, after all

So when Steve turns up wearing a Hellfire shirt and reveals, after Mike demands to know where he got it, that Eddie gave it to him, the kids know exactly what’s going on

Obviously, Eddie and Steve are dating

Which- finally. It only makes sense, the way they’re always in each other’s space, always staring at each other, always laughing at some little joke between the two of them while annoying everyone else. So Eddie finally gave Steve a Boyfriend Shirt, and now they’re dating

And as much as some people (coughStevecough) might like to say that the kids have no manners, or sense of personal boundaries, or common decency, they do actually know how to behave like functional human beings. Like, sometimes. If they care enough. And they do care about Eddie and Steve, so they make some allowances

For instance, significant others get shotgun privileges; if Steve is driving, Eddie gets the passenger seat, and vice versa (no matter how much Dustin grumbles about it)

On movie nights, they leave the easy chair in Steve’s living room alone even though it’s the most comfortable place to sit, because it’s Steve’s favorite place to sit, because Eddie usually ends up smooshed in there with him, insisting that it’s such a big chair it can fit two people (it can’t, really, but that seems to be the point)

When they go out to eat, they make sure that there are two empty seats left side by side so Eddie and Steve can sit together (usually at the end of the table; they both seem to like placing themselves between the kids and the door, which is completely unnecessary, but sort of nice in a way they won’t admit to)

And just occasionally, on nights when gatherings run late and Eddie and Steve seem comfortable, wrapped up in each other and dozing off like a pair of old men and not two early twenty-somethings, the kids will call someone and arrange for another ride instead of catching a lift with Steve or Eddie like they’d originally planned

See? They can be considerate

Dustin pokes at Steve, who lifts his head drowsily from where he’s nodded off curled into the corner of Eddie’s couch, Eddie himself draped all over Steve and half snoring into the crook of his neck.

“Whazzat?” Steve mumbles, shaking his head to clear the sleep and blinking up at Dustin. “Time t’go?”

“Jonathan’s gonna give us a ride, since you two are useless and fell asleep,” Dustin says quietly, his smile conveying more amusement than anything. “I’m just letting you know we’re leaving so you don’t freak out when you wake up later.”

Steve rolls his eyes, but the “thanks” he shoots back is sincere, if grumbled, and Dustin goes to wait with everyone else out in the cool air of the early fall evening. Mike, Will, and Lucas are loitering around the trailer door, waiting for Jonathan to arrive; Max and El are waiting with them before convening to a sleepover at Max’s place across the way.

“Okay, but that is still weird, right?” Mike is asking the group at large, pointing towards the door as Dustin comes out. “Them being together? They don’t even have anything in common.”

Dustin glances back over his shoulder before taking a seat on the front steps. “Who, Eddie and Steve?”

“Yeah.”

“Nah, you’re just mad you lost ten bucks betting it would take them longer to start sucking face.” Dustin smirks.

“Ew.” Mike’s face twists briefly in disgust. “No, look, I’m just saying, they have totally different interests. Like, Eddie’s into D&D and metal and cool stuff, and Steve’s got whatever lame shit he’s into, so what do they even do together?”

“Well, Mike,” Max drawls, “when two people love each other very much - or at least when they each think the other is hot, they–”

“Oh my god, shut up!” Mike screeches, shoving at Max as she cackles at him.

Jonathan arrives not long after that, stemming any further conversation (or yelling) on the topic.

Back inside the trailer, Steve shakes Eddie gently from his nap.

“Hey,” he murmurs as Eddie is stirring. “It’s late. We should go to bed, I don’t wanna sleep on the couch all night.”

(The suggestion that he and his friend both go to bed--as in together--doesn’t even register as weird anymore. His definition of what constitutes casual intimacy is beyond fucked; he and Eddie have decided to stop caring.)

Eddie hums, turning his head to rest it against Steve’s shoulder and scanning the empty room with sleep-bleary eyes. “Gremlins gone already?”

“Jonathan got ‘em,” Steve replies. “Hey– have they been acting weird lately? The kids?”

“Oh, for sure,” Eddie says, stifling a yawn. “But I haven’t had to fight a fifteen-year-old for shotgun in, like, a month, so I haven’t been questioning it.”

Steve snickers. “Yeah. It’s... like, it’s actually been kind of nice, though. Really nice.”

Eddie lifts his head finally, shuffling back a little so he can look at Steve properly. “What has?”

“Getting to be close to you,” Steve says, meeting Eddie’s gaze head-on.

“Yeah?” Eddie asks, a smile teasing across his face.

“Yeah,” Steve says. “And I’ve been thinking that... maybe we could do it more officially.”

Eddie snorts. “Official, huh? You wanna get some forms notarized before cuddling the fuck out of me? Maybe put on a suit and tie?”

“Let’s not go that far, you weirdo.” Steve rolls his eyes. “How about just a date?”

Steve tries not to hold his breath, tries not to be nervous; he’s talked himself into and out of this question so many times since Eddie had given him that club t-shirt, insisting that Steve was at least an honorary member.

“A date, huh?” The way Eddie’s smile has only grown is very promising. “Yeah, I– I think we could do that.”

Steve grins in return. “Good.”

(Barely two weeks later, they decide to announce to the party at large that they’re definitely Official now—paperwork not included—only to receive the most lackluster response they’ve ever seen come out of their loud, dramatic troupe of children.

“Uh, yeah, we know,” Dustin says, barely looking up from the notebook he’s scribbling character notes in. “You’ve been dating for months. Old news, guys.”

“Uh, no, we haven’t,” Steve parrots Dustin’s snarky tone right back at him. “Dude, the hell are you even talking about? Our first date was, like, a week ago.”

This gets everyone’s attention.

“It was what?” Dustin demands, voice gone pitchy.

“A week ago, Henderson, try to keep up,” Eddie says.

Any other forthcoming details, however, are drowned out as Mike stands, jabbing a triumphant finger at Dustin and declaring, “You owe me twenty dollars!”)

[rthko]

Anon, while I appreciate your clarification, your message still includes subjective and unsupported claims that paint me in a negative light. I hope you understand I know better than to publish my own callout post. I cannot be everything for everyone. I am not a celebrity with a PR team but a person with my own experiences and a job who blogs in my free time. If I blog about what's familiar to me, I'm centering myself and maliciously excluding others. Yet if I blog about experiences I'm not familiar with, I'm stepping out of my lane and trying to speak for others. If every word written about identity and overcoming prejudice has to be perfect, then the only way to win is to not talk about it at all.

Recently, I have blogged about the overlap in experiences between cis or marginally cis queer people and trans people. I am interested in establishing common ground and bonding, even organizing over it. That said, in a culture of "LGB alliance," I realize the responsibility of reconciliation falls moreso on cis people. I am cis. Yes, my own weird version of it, but cis. Cis enough to know that when ghouls in Congress and on TV talk about "gender ideology," they don't have me in mind. All my trans friends are terrified right now, but my cis gay friends are only afraid if they've specifically decided to tune into the news. The ability to turn off the news and ignore it is a privilege. There is a social utility in unpacking these invisible knapsacks.

I also believe that online "check your privilege" culture is often hollow and self serving. When I posted a joke roast of Taylor Swift, I was flooded with comments decrying me as a "cis white gay," embellished with remarks about how I'm probably ignorant, sex-obsessed and disease-ridden. Nevermind the fact that Taylor Swift is herself a cis straight white woman and that cis white gays make up her most loyal following (and presumably many of the comments lobbed in my direction). This is one of many examples where it's not about identity politics at all, except to embellish and connote moral superiority. I believe cis white gay men do hold privilege in many ways--look no further than how HIV was considered "over" once it went from being seen as a "gay disease" to a "black disease," or how so many of us look the other way in this current transphobic climate. But what, for instance, does Taylor Swift have to do with any of this?

That is one problem with privilege discourse, but also, it's oversimplified. Checking my privilege is a mathematical equation. Cis plus man minus gay. There is no convenient formula that accounts for the fact that I have never been welcome among men or treated as "one of the boys," that I had to find my own self worth outside of their inclusion. It doesn't account for the fact that "cis" is the approximate conclusion I reached after countless clandestine name and pronoun changes in forums and group chats, "what if I had just been born a girl" questions, and anger at the expectation to be a "real man" or a "man" at all. And I just don't have this explanation in my back pocket all the time.

I woke up this morning, checked my inbox, and was informed that there's a callout post going around about me. Something to do with problematic daddy kinks and my "fuck that old man" shitposts. Whatever. I found it funny. What stood out to me is that a popular blogger who to my knowledge has never posted about any of that was roped into it just for reblogging from me. She was considered guilty by association with me, and my perceived guilt was at best subjective and at worst prejudiced. So maybe I'm on the defensive today. Maybe this is my Lana Del Rey "question for the culture" meltdown. But if you want to dive into my psyche and help me to "do better," talk to me like a person and not a public figure.

[bidonica]

Hey! I see you're into fragile/higgs ship and caught myself quite like them too recently (tho i've been in DS fandom already for a year and mostly thought about them as a friends)

Just wondering why do you like them? Do you have any headcanons/interesting thoughts? I'm very curious 👀

Hi! First of all apologies for the wall of text you're about to get, but unfortunately you came knocking at my door after I spent nearly two months ruminating about this ship basically by myself sooo I'm dumping it all here

Well the short (lol) version is that in my first playthrough I mostly just absorbed the characters and storyline, but by the time I got to their final scene on the Beach I was like wait a minute... their whole shared storyline feels way too loaded for them to simply have been business associates, that shit is personal, even Higgs wanting to damage Fragile feels way too pointed to just be justified by "he was a turncloak with a secret agenda." Now, I'm not against a "they were simply close friends" interpretation, it works just as well to explain the emotional weight of their falling out, BUT I also cannot ignore the zest, the flavor, the spice of them actually having been involved romantically at some point. And honestly going into my second playthrough with the shipping goggles on I can't help thinking that Fragile speaks about Higgs like he was an ex that hurt her, and the way that she is suspiciously cagey about the specifics of their relationship makes my ears shoot up like a German shepherd.

On a Doylist level I also find it interesting that Kojima gave Higgs extra backstory that connects him to Fragile in the Director's Cut, and also how the behind the scenes for the DS2 mocap show Troy and Léa sharing a scene... I think Kojima is not done intertwining their story and we'll get more info in the sequel.

Now for the headcanons... I have enough that I might or might not be writing a long-ish fic about it, but I want to finish this Director's Cut playthrough before completing it (I could just look stuff up on the wiki but that's not fun). Also I have some art in the pipeline about it that I hope to post within the week. Anyway, the bite sized version of how I envision their relationship:

I hc Higgs as being immediately attracted to Fragile but not really acting on it, while she develops her attraction after getting to know him a little. Then she's down bad but she doesn't even realize it until it's so obvious it hits her in the face

A few people at their joint Fragile Express/whatever Higgs' operation was called co-op assume they are an item long before anything ever happens, because they just hang out together a lot. They have a similar penchant for corny jokes and puns and enjoy some light banter; Fragile finds Higgs' flair for theatrics endearing, while he is drawn to how gentle she is because he has known so little softness in his life (also he thinks she's insanely pretty, which duh. It's self evident because Léa Seydoux) (it's his first serious girl crush anyway; I hc him as bi and as having had mostly experiences with men before her)

They bond over their DOOMS condition and Higgs is fascinated by Fragile's powers, while she is less enthused by all the collateral effects. In my hc, at this point she has yet to become as skilled at traveling through dimensions as she is in the game, which makes her reluctant to agree to Higgs' requests to show him the Beach. This sows the seeds of his resentment towards her, because he feels she has a privilege she doesn't make use of and doesn't want to share.

They are both pretty touchy feely (canon!) so when their relationship goes from friendly to romantic it gets physical immediately and enthusiastically. Yes even accounting for the worldwide lowered sex drive. If there's one thing I never do is put characters in horny jail 🫡

 I think Fragile got to know a version of Higgs that was quite different from what we see in the game, which you sort of can gauge from the more optimistic pages of his diary. Like there's a part of him who's starved for love and connection and a sense of belonging and gravitates towards people like Coffin (he never had a mother) and Fragile herself; ironically, the pull towards Amelie answers to the same need but in reality it feeds on his more nihilistic, call-of-the-void side. I'm not saying that Amelie brainwashed him or anything, but I think she saw what was already there – a  deep seated resentment towards a hostile world and towards those he feels got handed a luckier deal than he did, that he countered by clinging to the notion of being special because of his DOOMS, but then there's someone like Fragile who's even more special and doesn't seem to be doing much with it. Amelie gave him a chance to fulfill what he felt was his potential and shared her power with him, but the tradeoff was severing  the connections he had, "killing" the part of him that wanted to be loved to make space for what he perceived as a higher form of love ("I found someone who completes me" which he says to Fragile specifically like he wants to rub it in her face? Like she wasn’t  enough to fulfill that role?)

That’s why I think it’s significant that he lost his hands with his power-up, because the (holding, welcoming) hands are strongly associated with Fragile; and to me it makes sense if he purposely ruins her body also because it’s a way to stifle his attraction to her. There’s also a lot of projection because HE is the one who’s felt like damaged goods all along, who grew up being  crushed psychologically and physically. I also think that both of them coming close to annihilating the other but choosing not to – leaving them in a dicey situation but not entirely without escape – shows in some twisted way that their bond still exists, which makes me giggle and rub my hands like a nasty little goblin knowing we have another game coming.

So… That’s the gist of it. Sorry for rambling on but as I said, I don’t really get the chance to talk about this ship much – greetings from rarepair hell, etc.

[22degreehalo]

Okay I finished the movie. (Spoilers follow!)

I liked the parts about Barbie as an actual doll. I liked the ending! It was fun and creative and had some real emotion to it!

I didn't... enjoy the portrayal of gender.

The movie just really does not seem to want to face up to the idea that in the Barbie world, women are the privileged class. They hold all positions of power and property. Barbie doesn't even know where the men live?

Yes, it's all deliberately weird and surreal. But it's all just too weird and surreal to relate much to the real world. The climax relies on assuming that the barbies would essentially relate perfectly to a random real-world woman, which... even if it were true that all women IRL can relate to each other, their life experiences are just way too different.

(Yes, the patriarchy got introduced into Barbie land! But... how??? It's very hand-waved. Why would the privileged class suddenly completely turn the system 180 just because a guy came by with some books? It almost feels like a reverse-racism thing...?!)

And then, in the end, the kens still aren't treated equally. The movie jokes that 'someday' they'll have as much power as women IRL. But... we literally just spent the last hour exploring how shitty women have it. So now the kens have it even worse than that. And that's okay?

Again: it's meant to be dumb and silly. But we're also supposed to suspend our disbelief and live in this world for two hours. And the world just doesn't really jive with the tone. The more you think about it, the more you treat it as a real place, the less sense it makes. It only works if you laugh off the kens as just privileged white guys just because they resemble them.

Which, also! The movie in the end tries to be comforting to men and say that they don't need to be defined by their girlfriends or whatever! Which is actually a good message IRL: for too many men, being able to Date A Woman really is treated as the ultimate arbiter of human worth! (It... makes little sense in the world, where it seems like the kens really do need to rely on the barbies? But. see above.)

Except the entire way through, the idea of men having feelings is mocked and laughed off. Like I said, they imply that a gender non-conforming man would have absolutely 0 reason to fear violence at the hands of other men, which is... completely detached from reality?! Everything a stereotypical 'man' might care about is treated as being not really all that good, men's fears of abandonment or failure are eye-rollingly chalked up to 'egotism' (again, despite the status of the kens in this world), and when Ken cries at the end, it's presented as humiliating, as opposed to the dignified crying Barbie does on multiple occasions.

To be clear: I am not accusing the movie of misandry. I'm accusing the movie of being excessively cruel towards men who do not fit the stereotypical image of 'masculine', and then also being kind of pointlessly mean at those who do, as well.

Like, in the climax, one of the ultimate scenes of 'female empowerment' has the barbies pretend to listen while the kens play the guitar at them ('Push' by Matchbox 20, which is a good song IMO??? But it's treated as like. Objectively bad.), only to deliberately check their phone to show they don't care, then get up and talk to another man instead. And all of this is framed as, like 'playing on their petty egos and jealousies.' And not as like... them opening up? To someone they like? And trying to do something nice? And then being hurt when they don't feel the connection they wanted?

(Also men getting angry at other men, or staging a 'war', is treated as entirely petty and silly and kinda funny. Just an 'own goal', so to speak. Which, again, feels very insensitive when men... do in fact violently attack other men over reasons like jealousy.)

(Also also it's treated as super arrogant when a man tries to help out a woman who is literally saying aloud that she doesn't understand and wants help??? Because it's soooo offensive to think a woman can't do something she says she can't do??? even though the end of the movie is all about how women shouldn't have to be perfect and should be allowed to be just normal and not really good at anything???? I'm so confused.)

It's just... such a weird mix of a genuinely fun and creative campy setting, which then mixes in the most weirdly tone-deaf and old-fashioned gender essentialism possible. It tries to be progressive at the end, but the setting is already so stuck in those ideas (that inverting gender power dynamics would be really good actually since women are better in power, that men don't have any real legitimate reason to have emotions so it's weird and dumb if they do) that it doesn't track. It doesn't match the actual events of the movie.

It's not just an empty popcorn movie. Frankly, it'd be a lot better if it was!!!!!!! (At least for me, hahah.) It's best appreciated, honestly, if you do turn your brain off and just enjoy the pretty visuals and the nice moments at the end. Which is sad. Because it clearly does try to do so much more than that! But all those attempts just... make the movie more confused and weird and kind of mean?

Basically, the movie tries to do a whole 'haha what if we switched the power of the genders' but then still wants to treat all of the men like they're privileged white guys, even though there's 0 worldbuilding reason for that to be justified. (Plus also it has the typical 'wacky misandry' problems of being incredibly shitty to GNC and disabled men. but like I just expected that literally always nowadays.)

So yeah uhhh. unfortunately I gotta say that I don't really agree with those 'lollllll men hate this movie even though it literally just says that they're okay by themselves and don't need to base their worth on women!!!!!' like YEAH but it also implies some pretty. questionable stuff about oppression and mental health and how much we should respect men who have ~delicate fragile emotions~ too.

[fuzzyautumninmetal]

The only one I want (Soap x reader)

You was Johnny's best friend (as well as being madly in love with him since you met him over 10 years ago) but when he got into the SAS it meant he had to move and due to your jobs you hadn't been able to see each other for about 5 years. Well that was until Ghost rang you about surprising Johnny for his birthday and he really wanted you to be there. It was all going great until his girlfriend met you and she got jealous and possessive very quickly. 

Tw ~ Bullying, unprotective sex (wrap it before you tap it), fingering, p in v. I think that's it

Reader is AFAB and a bigger gal ;)

You was at work when your phone started ringing, you look at who was calling you and saw it was Ghost. You instantly panicked, Ghost always texted you, he never rang unless something bad had happened "Are you alright to watch the bar, I have to take this". 

"Are you both okay?" was the first thing you said, "Yes we're fine" Ghost chuckled at your sigh of relief "Why are you ringing me then? Nearly gave me a heart attack at work" you scolded and Ghost could imagine your face right now. "I'm planning a surprise birthday party for Johnny and I really want you to be here, it would be the best birthday present for him" he whispered so you guessed he was at work, "My dad keeps asking when I'm going to see Johnny. He misses his 'son'" you joked "I should be able to get the time off work, look It's Saturday and it's getting busy at work. I'll talk to my dad tomorrow and let you know". "Cheers Love" was the last thing he said before you hung up and went back to work. 

With your dad being the CEO of the franchise you manage at meant it was easy for you to get time off but you never liked to abuse those privileges and wanted to make sure you could have time off. "How long do you need off?" you farther asked first. "You can take him his birthday presents from us. We don't need to spend lots money of posting these for him" your mother said after. "Can I come with you? I miss Johnny" your younger brother whined. "Maybe 2 weeks or so? I'm not sure what his schedule is like but I would like to spend time with him. Yes I'll take his presents and no I'm sorry lil man. You have school but I'll video call you so you can talk to him" you answered everyone's question before looking at your father. "Just please tell him we miss him" your father pleaded and you laughed "I will. He misses you as well...well moms cooking more". You all laughed before you texted Ghost and started packing. 

"Hey Y/N" Ghost wrapped you in a big hug, you have known him for about 7 years. Johnny introduced you when they both came back to England for a while and you hit it off really well, you was one of the few people Ghost called a friend. "Hey Si" you hugged him back before getting into his car. 

"Laswell said you can stay at the base for a while so you don't have to pay for a hotel room" you looked at Ghost "You'll be staying at my place for now until Johnny's birthday" he laughed. It was quiet so you decided to make small talk "How's him and Sofia? He seems happy, in love" it made you sad to ask about his girlfriend, you like. No. You was in love with Johnny and have been since they day you met him but like every high school love book you never told him because you didn't want to risk ruining your friendship, plus you was scared he didn't like you because you had always been bigger than most girls. Not that it matters now, you had learnt to love your body and they way you look. It gave you more confident and realised men didn't care but it was too late with Johnny. "He seems happy" Ghost brought you out of your thought "I sense that there's a but" you teased, he pulled into the car park outside his apartment "There is but well talk over food" 

After a long shower you got into your PJs which resulted in a baggy tee and some shorts "So why don't you like her" you asked with a glass of wine in your hand, he hesitated "It isn't just me. Everyone at the base don't like her. She's got Johnny wrapped around her finger and she knows it, she's always flirting with the recruits when she thinks we're not around, constantly asking Johnny to buy her stupidly expensive things, doesn't like him hanging out with us and has tried to stop him going on a mission". "Let me guess she only 'likes' him because he's in the army and because he works out" you added and Ghosts nodded "He's been like it since I've known him, he will never see it but he always goes for the girls that only care about status, money and looks" you sighed. "She also doesn't like you.....she feels threatened because he has a female best friend. She's always asking if anything has ever gone off between you too and when you last saw each other. I tell her truth but she doesn't believe me" you could help but laugh but what Ghosts asks next catches you off guard. "Do you still love him?" Ghost asked, "Of course I do Si" you laughed. Ghost said nothing just smiled as if he knew something but you played it off.

Of course he knew something, Johnny told him everything which means he knew that Johnny was also in love with you and has been since you first met but like you he didn't want to risk ruining your friendship. Ghost did ask you to come and surprise Johnny but also because he hopes Johnny will see that Sofia isn't the love of his life. You are. He hopes something would happen so you two would finally confess your love for each other. Not that he would tell anyone his plan.

It was the day before Johnny's surprise birthday party but for Ghost it was a normal day, kind of. He had to go over the last finishing touches for Johnny's party. He had walked into the common room to see Sofia "Good morning Ghost" she flirted but he just grunted in response "Have you seen Soap?". Ghost only called him Soap because he knew she didn't like his nickname "Johnny. Is with Price, he shouldn't be long". "Mornin' Ghost" Johnny's voice boomed from the other side of the room "We're all going for drinks tomorrow, you should come" you said not really giving Johnny a choice but obviously Sofia didn't like that "Oh no he can't. He's taking me out tomorrow". Ghost looked back at her slightly and smirked, he thought about her reaction to see you at the bar, "You can bring Sofia, Laswell is going to be there and some other people" he convinced him. "Yeah we'll be there, it will be nice for you finally meet everyone darlin" Johnny smiled completely oblivious to everything. 

Ghost told you it was a small dive bar that he had rented out so you didn't need to go all out, just something casual, "So he has no idea I'm here?" you asked. "Johnny is very smart but he's been oblivious that I've basically been harbouring his best friend for a few days" and you laughed while finishing getting ready. "She's going to be there isn't she?" you asked referring to Sofia "It will be fun" Ghost replied. Great

You would be lying if you said you wasn't nervous seeing Johnny but at the same time you was excited "Lads this is Y/N" Ghost introduced you to the rest of the 141 plus a few other people. "So you're the best friend he never shuts up about" the man known as Gaz said "The one and only" you flipped your hair and laughed. "It's nice to finally meet you, I'm Price. This is Laswell, Alejandro and Rudy" you shuck hands with them all and got chatting "Is it true Soap accidently pushed you off a roof?" Gaz asked and you thought for a moment before remembering the memory "He didn't push me off" you started laughing "we snuck onto the roof of my house and started play fighting. Johnny was loosing so he thought it would be a good idea to push me but I like to be dramatic so I kind of just threw myself off. I ended up in the hospital with a broken arm because turns out. Throwing yourself off a roof to be dramatic isn't a good idea". Everyone started laughing with you "He's here" someone came in and said so you hid behind Ghost, he gave you a questioning look "You're like 6'3 and well built. I'm 5'5 so let me hide". 

"Happy birthday Soap" everyone said together "Holy shit. All this for me? You shouldn't have guys" his voice boomed out and you couldn't help but smile. "We actually have 1 more surprise for you" Ghost smiled and stepped to the side "Surprise bitch" you shouted. Johnny's eyes widened, not believing what he was saying "Y/n?", you threw him a cheeky smile before he tackled you into a hug "God I've missed you" he sounded like he was going to cry "I've missed you too".

Ghost could see the anger in Sofia's face, well actually everyone could see it and snickered. They knew Ghost did it on purpose but never said anything. "You must be Sofia" you walked towards her and stuck your hand out to shake "Fat bitch" she whispered as she shoved past you. "Charming" you whispered to yourself. "How long are you here for?" Johnny asked, you looked towards Sofia "2 maybe 3 weeks depending on your schedule. My parents miss you". "You've met her parents?" Sofia spat, annoyed you gave her the same energy "Well considering we grew up together yeah" and pulled a face before walking away. "She's a delight" you whispered at Ghost and he laughed in agreement. 

You had been there for 5 days and not once did you get to spend time with Johnny. When he was at the base she was attached to him like a rash and pulled him away whenever you tried to talk to him, when it was his days off she got him doing something with her and quiet frankly it was starting to piss you off. "I swear to god I will say something" you shot your gun in the firing range with Ghost, Gaz and Price while they listened to you kick off, "Then why don't you" Gaz asked. "I would if she would stop being a little bitch". They knew you was annoyed a decided to teach you how to shoot a gun to help get your anger out. 

"Have you ever thought about joining the army?" Price asked to change the subject "I mean I thought about it when Johnny wanted to join" you held your gun up and aimed. "Why didn't you? You'd make a great recruit" Price asked again. You was about to answer "Because that would mean she would have to go on a diet and actually work out. I don't know if you saw any pictures of her when she was younger but she was massive, could of been mistaken for a whale. Well you could still be mistaken for one now" Sofia cut in walking towards the boys "Actually my father was about to open his new business and I wanted to help him and his business grow. Turns out I prefer being a manager and a bartender, he said that when I'm ready we can be co-business partners" you turned to Sofia "Speaking of jobs, don't you have one? Or are you too busy sponging off Johnny?". "When your as pretty as me you shouldn't have to work. Not that you would know what being pretty is like" she walked to Ghost and put her hand on his bicep "We're going out later, you should join us". "God built me, your doctor built you. Probably with daddy's money" and if looks could kill you would be dead, "Why you" she started walking towards you but you held the gun up "I wouldn't sweetheart" you smiled oh so innocently.   

Another 3 days and it's like Johnny had completely gone off the grid, nobody had seen him nor could they get in touch with him. Everyone was worried but they knew that Sofia had made him stay with her after the little conversation you both had. "She's threatened by Y/N" Gaz joked and you joined in "She should be, I'm built like a whale remember", "Could squish her" Ghost added. "I'm gonna have a shower, I'm never fighting Ghost again" you got up "Why, It was fun". "Bitch I nearly died. I'm sweating out of places I didn't know was even possible" you poked him before walking to your room on base.

"I'm so sorry Captain" Johnny came running in, out of breath "Where have you been?" Price asked annoyed, "She locked the door and windows, she hid the fucking key. She even broke my phone. I had to sneak out of the tiny ass bathroom window. I don't know what's gotten into her" Johnny explained. Ghost couldn't keep quiet any longer "She's fucking crazy Johnny, I don't know what you see in her", "She's not normally like this...no she's a lot better than this.....she's the best person ever....I love her" he started rambling on trying to make excuses for himself when in reality he hasn't been happy, he hasn't been for a while now but after seeing you he soon realised he didn't love Sofia anymore. "You're rambling Johnny" your voice made him turn around, he said nothing but hugged you. Tightly. 

"What's happening here?" Sofia basically screeched, Johnny pulled away and started talking "Sofia I think" but she cut him off and pointed towards you "Ever since you came here my relationship has been a mess. You've ruined everything, because of you Johnny hasn't wanted to see me. I've had to force him to stay with me". You gave her a short laugh "What by making sure he can't leave...and breaking his phone? What if had a life of death mission to go on and he couldn't because of you?". She looked at everyone, slightly embarrassed and started babbling "At least I'm not fat". Really? Was that the best insult she could give you "Yes. Well done. You've noticed that I am, in fact, fat. I have been fat all my life and I don't know why you think that pathetic little insult will hurt me" you turned to Johnny "I'm sorry Johnny, but it's best if I go home" you gave him a sad smile before walking off. 

"Yeah you do that, go back home and carry on being a slut" You stopped walking and faced her "Oh I've seen your posts. I know you sleep around because you know that nobody would ever want someone so fat and disgusting as you" she clung to Johnny's arms "And I know your in love with Johnny but jokes on you he will never love you back. I've seen his ex's and none them are fat. Army men don't like fat bitches". You looked at Johnny with tears falling down your cheek before you left to pack your bags. 

Sofia started laughing "Well that's that little problem sorted, come one baby. Let's go home". Johnny snatched his arm away from Sofia "What the fuck is wrong with you". She was shocked "What? I just got rid of your distraction" she generally didn't think she did anything wrong. "Distraction? You thought she was a distraction? If anything you're the fucking distraction, you stopped me from going to work, you've tried to stop me going on important missions to the point I've nearly been told to never come back. Because of you I've been so fucking unhappy but now I might actually loose the most important person in my life" Johnny started to raise his voice "But baby" she cooed. "Don't baby me, this is done. We're done. I want nothing to do with you". "You're leaving me?" she cried as he walked away "Yes to be with the only woman I've ever wanted in my life"

You wanted to cry. You wanted to scream, shout anything to express how upset you was. You may have just lost your best friend, the only person you could turn too and talk to for hours about your problems. He would never judge you or scold you, he would always sit and listen. You couldn't cry, you didn't have time too, you needed to pack your bags and book the next flight back home. You didn't hear the door opening and locking until Johnny's voice broke you from your trance "Y/N". You stood up not knowing what to say but it it didn't matter, Johnny only wanted to know one thing "How long?". You didn't say anything "How long Y/N?" he asked again this time he walked towards you, "Since I first met you" you whispered and looked into his piercing blue eyes, the eyes you have loved for 10 years. He grabbed your waist gently and kissed you, it was slow, passionate, it was like fireworks had gone off. You couldn't think of anything at that very moment. You pulled away "What about" he shook his head "You're the only woman I want. You're the only woman I've ever wanted in my life but I was so scared you didn't feel the same way" he whispered before you put your hands on his face and kissed him again. This time it was hungry.

You wasted no time in taking each others clothes off, Johnny wanted to take him time with you but at the same time he has been waiting for this moment for too long now he needed you, wanted you. He wanted you to know how much he loved you, he wanted to know you was his. He guided you to the bed and gently laid you down, hands not leaving your body. "God I've wanted you for so long" he whispered kissing up and down your thighs, getting dangerously close to your cunt before backing away in a teasingly way "Please Johnny" you whimpered. "I want to take care of you, I don't want to rush" he whispered caressing your thighs, "You have other times to take care of me, Johnny I need this. I need you" you pleaded looking at him, you saw the hunger in his eyes and the thoughts of him being a gentleman went out of the window. 

He crawled up your body and crashed his lips to yours but kept a hand on your thigh "God you're so fucking beautiful" he started running his fingers through your soaked folds before plunging two fingers deep into you, your back arched in pleasure. One hand scratched at his back as the other gripped his hair as he started pumping his fingers in and out of you, "I need more" you moaned, "Tell me darling. Tell me what you want" he moaned in between kisses. "I need to fuck me Johnny. Please". He removed his fingers and lined himself up with your entrance and asked "Are you ready?". "Yes, god yes" you practically begged him before he slowly pressed himself into, bit by bit. He wanted you too feel all of him but he also wanted to feel you.

You could feel yourself stretching around him and god was it amazing, you felt like you was in heaven. He started out slow but once you was fully stretched out he picked up his pace, you buried your face into his neck but he grabbed your chin to make you look at him "Keep your eyes on me and don't even think about looking away. I want to see you fall apart" he growled as he started going faster, all that could be heard was skin to skin contact. You moaned and whimpered but not once did you look away "That's it darling, let me see you fall apart". "Johnny I" you tried to speak but you was too cock drunk and Johnny loved it, seeing you this way, unable to speak because of him "What's wrong darling, gonna cum for me". You nodded your head unable to speak, he lifted your legs onto his shoulders and began slamming into you. He could feel your walls tightening around him "Hm shit darling, just a bit longer now". "Fuck. Johnny" you screamed as your body tensed in ways you didn't know where possible as you came, you started shaking from the sensitivity as Johnny chased his own orgasm.

Johnny flopped next to you and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you towards him. You both kept quiet, catching your breaths, enjoying each others company. "Why didn't you say anything?" you whispered putting your hand onto his cheek, "I was scared you didn't feel the same way, I was scared to loose you" he gently grabbed your hand and kissed your palm "Please don't leave yet" he whispered. You brought his forehead to yours "I never got the chance to book a plain ticket". 

"I love you Y/N"  

"I love you too Johnny"

[tanadrin]

That is correct, I didn't think the Mosaic law would be a practical way of running a society but that's what my client wanted so that's what I wrore

I don't really get the joke here, so I'm just going to take an opportunity to add another fact I found pretty interesting:

It was common in the Ancient Near East to create codes of law for display purposes (and outside it--cf. the Twelve Tables). This wasn't so much so that the common person could know and understand the law, because literacy rates were pretty low, but served a similar function as monumental architecture, to display the power of the ruler and at least notionally their justice. But in practice, the law as it actually functioned could be pretty different from the law as these monuments proclaimed it.

I think it's interesting to consider the law-as-a-symbol. There was some incidental discourse crossing my dash recently about whether "law" as a general concept protects the weak from the strong, or whether it legitimates the rule of the elites. And I think the answer is that is obviously does neither: that a society has a system of law tells you nothing about how that system functions, and you have to dig into the nitty-gritty details to determine whether the society has "rule of law" (which is good) or "rule by law" (which is bad). The former is, hopefully, a system where the law binds everybody, attempts to be fair, and there is at least some effort to enforce it equally; the latter is where law is a justification for a system power that makes no pretense at that sort of thing.

And I think rule by law is a very common state of affairs, especially pre-French Revolution! I might be generous and say pre-Enlightenment at best. Because before you have an ideological starting point of "ok, everybody should be equal before the law and the law should be impartially enforced," one-off privileges, aristocracies, and random exemptions from various rights and duties are pretty normal, and one of the major functions of law is to codify these inequities to make sure the king or his judiciary respects them. There is a reason one of the big components of revolutionary projects historically has been administrative reform, because in redrawing internal boundaries and revising old law codes, you can do away with these inequities and legally enshrined hierarchies.

And that pattern of inequity, of legally enshrined hierarchy, is of course thoroughly present in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. As Dan McClellan points out, agency in these codes flows downhill and it flattens everything in its path. The agency of men erases that of women: the law treats what happens if a man violates the property rights of another man over the women under his dominion (his daughters or wives), but the agency of the women ("consent" in modern parlance) simply makes no difference to the law. The only place women's sexual agency shows up in the law is in the one situation where a woman is interacting with a creature lesser than her, i.e., if she lies with an animal.

Even in the European Middle Ages I think there were real disjuncts between the worldview of the people using these law codes for devotional purposes and the worldview of their authors. In the modern era, of course, those disjuncts are yawning chasms, and as a result you get some really weak apologetic attempts to try to reconcile modern ethics with (again, impractical, unworkable, entirely theoretical) Iron Age legal theory. But there are lots of places in the Bible--both in the law codes and in the narrative portions--where I think the disjunct is so great that the aftercomers can't really make heads or tails of the worldviews of their predecessors. This is where the apologists (and before them, the commentaries of the Talmud) often have to invent major details out of whole cloth to try to turn the situation into one that makes sense to them. It would be better, and easier to construct a more consistent system of ethics, to just jettison the bits that clearly aren't applicable to the concerns of your community--but then of course once you admit that what parts of your scripture you do and don't accept are contingent on their relevance to your community, it is no longer the timeless and authoritative book from God, and it ceases to be a useful way of structuring power.

And as with codes of law, holy writ is (among other things) about structuring power! Otherwise all religion would approximately resemble Unitarian Universalism, an honest, gentle, thoughtful faith that is approximately irrelevant.